WORKING WITH YOUTH THENEW PRINCIPLES OF
9 Powerful Quotes for parents, educators & youth workers
By: Glenn Lim
OUR INITIATIVES
Breakthrough Academy stands for empowerment through education, community-driven transformation, and purposeful lifelong learning. They believe learning should not only equip individuals with practical skills, but also ignite a deeper sense of mission, to uplift vulnerable communities and become a force for good.
Architects of Life is a social enterprise that specialises in developing the human potential of youths-at-risk and exoffenders through outreach, development and intervention programmes. AOL’s vision is to help transform them from stigmatised Stereotypes to societal Archetypes.
X-Offenders For Good (XOFG) is dedicated to empowering former offenders through transformative programs like XOAccelerator, which builds self-confidence and personal mastery, and XO-Mastery, focusing on critical skills and financial independence, all aimed at fostering personal growth and meaningful impact beyond past setbacks.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Glenn Lim
Glenn is a youth champion and advocate. He chairs various national committees and advises in community initiatives. His appointments include - Chairman of MentoringSG, Vice-President of Teen Challenge Singapore, Yellow Ribbon Ambassador (Ministry of Home Affairs), *SCAPE committee member (Programming, former Ministry of Community, Youth and Sports), former Youth Ambassador (Republic of Singapore), former Commonwealth Youth Ambassador for Positive Living (ASEAN).
Regarded by many as a youth specialist ' guru ' , Glenn now consults extensively with youth agencies, faith-based organisations, and nonprofits in the ASEAN region, advising on capability building and competency development.
Today, Glenn helps influence local movements toward inclusivity and social mobility. He is passionate about empowering the next generation through mentoring.
ABOUT THIS BOOK
This book chronicles the various principles used in Architects of Life (AOL)’s youth work. Many of these approaches have formed into working paradigms and been taught to social workers, counsellors, educators, and parents over the years.
Apart from being a good read, this book can be used as a self-reflective study or guide book. To help you do that, we included questions to facilitate self-awareness & response to the following 9 Principles.
Be a Guide on their Side, not a Sage on the Stage
Learn to play Chess, not Checkers
What matters is your Availability, not your Ability
Connection before Correction
Youths want to Process, not Access more Information
Lessons are often Caught more than they are Taught
Expose them, not Impose on them
Youths don't Care how much you Know, until they Know how much you Care
Inspect, not just Expect
BE A GUIDE ON THEIR SIDE, NOT A SAGE ON THE STAGE
s are not impressed by the achievements or expertise that adults think they have. They won’t readily accept any advise just because it comes from a stage or place of authority. In fact, they are mostly disillusioned and suspicious of those who claim to 'know-it-all’. They value care and character over credentials and charisma. They appreciate the more personal touch of a mentor who walks with them and shows them how it’s done on the side. They respect the adult who comes down to their level to understand and empathize, rather then impress or instruct from afar. Only when we take the time to walk with them, can we better help them navigate through their challenges of life.
ASK YOURSELF
1) What are some opportunities or ways I can come down to a more personal level with them?
2) How do I show my concern first (rather then just show my knowledge) when engaging them?
WHAT MATTERS IS YOUR AVAILBILITY, NOT YOUR ABILITY
Youths need your time.
And not just “left-over” time where you ’ ve spent all your energy on other matters. This is because your availability convey care, love, and value to them. It tells them that they are valued and important enough, and worth spending your time with. Nothing builds self-concept and self-esteem more than spending time with them. Youths notice when you make time for them - when you listen, show up at their events, or simply check in.
Being available builds trust and lays the foundation for meaningful relationships. In the end, your willingness to be present speaks louder than your ability to solve problems.
ASK YOURSELF
1) In what practical ways can I make myself more available to them?
2) How do I show them that their lives and concerns matter to me, beyond my own agenda?
LEARN TO PLAY CHESS, NOT CHECKERS
Every youth is unique in their personality, talent, and developmental progress. We cannot put them into one-size-fits-all cookie-cutter molds. Checkers assumes everyone plays and moves the same way. Instead, we must approach each youth as an individual with their own strengths, weaknesses, interests, needs, and motivations.
By doing so, we begin to help them reach their full individual potential. In order to do this, we have to avoid the temptation to compare or over-generalize their issues. Because no two youths are the same to begin with. Instead, we have to learn to take time to understand, recognize their unique value. And tailor and adapt our approach to them with patience.
ASK YOURSELF
1) How should I take time to understand each youth’s unique personality, situation and needs?
2) How can I adapt my approach to better address their needs and support their growth?
CONNECTION BEFORE CORRECTION
need to feel genuinely connected to you first, before they can accept guidance, or correction. Connection creates a safe space where trust can grow, making it easier for them to receive feedback without feeling judged. When youths sense that you care about them as individuals, they are more open to learning and change.
Correction without Connection often leads to resistance and misunderstanding. Learn to prioritize building a trusting relationship with them, and understanding their world. Only then will your words carry weight when you earn the right to speak into their lives.
ASK YOURSELF
1) How am I building authentic relationships with the youths I serve? Are they real connections or just surface touch-points?
2) How do I know if I have enough connection with them in order for them to receive the feedback or correction from me?
YOUTHS WANT TO PROCESS, NOT ACCESS MORE INFORMATION
It’s important to understand that young people today are flooded with info-overload. They already have direct access to vast amounts of information found online. What they often lack is a safe space to process and make sense of what they encounter. Your role is not to add to the noise, but to help them sift through it —asking questions, facilitate reflection, and guiding them toward wise decisions.
We have to learn to be a sounding board, not just a source of facts. This will help them develop selfawareness, critical thinking and analytical skills. And ultimately help them become more informed, empowered, and confident in navigating their world.
ASK YOURSELF
1) How am I giving them space to process and reflect, rather than mere information or solutions?
2) What approaches can I take to better facilitate meaningful conversations that help them think deeper?
LESSONS ARE CAUGHT MORE THAN THEY ARE TAUGHT
ple are keen observers. They learn more from what you do than what you say. Your actions, attitudes, and responses set the real example for them to learn. If you model integrity, empathy, and resilience, they are likely to follow suit. Teaching is important, but living out your values in front of them leaves a deeper impression.
Remember, they’re watching how you handle challenges, treat others, and live out your values and beliefs. Let your actions speak louder then words. And never teach what you don’t do yourself!
ASK YOURSELF
1) What unspoken lessons am I teaching through my everyday actions?
2) How can I be more intentional about modeling the values I hope to instill?
EXPOSE THEM, NOT IMPOSE ON THEM
youth is about opening doors, not closing minds. Focus on exposing them to new experiences, ideas, and perspectives, we can help them develop their own unique beliefs and values. Encourage curiosity and exploration, allowing them to form their own opinions and make informed choices.
This is more effective than simply telling them what we think they should believe, or forcing your opinions or solutions upon them. When we impose, we risk alienating them and undermining their autonomy. In fact, we invite resistance every time we try to convince or coerce them. By contrast, when we expose them to a range of ideas and encourage them to think critically, we empower them to make their own informed decisions.
ASK YOURSELF
1) How am I creating opportunities for youths to discover and explore, rather than dictating what they should think?
2) In my interactions with them, how can I encourage open-mindedness and critical thinking in my interactions?
INSPECT, NOT JUST EXPECT
tations is important, but what truly motivates youths is knowing that someone cares enough to take interest and follow-up in their progress. When you regularly check in, give feedback, and celebrate milestones, you show that their efforts matter. Inspection isn’t about micromanaging—it’s about accountability, encouragement, and support.
By ‘inspecting’ their tasks, we can help them identify areas where they may need additional support or guidance. It can also be an opportunity to provide positive reinforcement and recognition. This can boost young people's confidence and motivate them to continue improving their skills. Youths are more likely to step up when they know you ’ re genuinely invested in their journey.
ASK YOURSELF
1) How am I actively following up on the goals and commitments of the youths I work with?
2) In what ways can I provide constructive feedback, positive reinforcement and encouragement?
YOUTHS DON’T CARE HOW MUCH YOU KNOW, UNTIL THEY KNOW HOW MUCH YOU CARE
Knowledge and exp make an impact when young people feel genuinely cared for. Your kindness, empathy, and willingness to invest in their lives open the door for influence and collaboration. Learn to show interest in their stories, passion, and dreams. Express concern and empathize with their struggles and challenges.
When youths sense your care, they become more receptive to your insights and guidance. Remember, relationship always comes before instruction.
ASK YOURSELF
1) How do I demonstrate genuine care and concern for the youths in my life?
2) What can I do to deepen my relationships with them beyond surfacelevel interactions?
NOWLEDGEM
is part of a series of various pu Of Life (AOL), a social enterpri mpowers ex-offenders and youth
