Metamorphosis

met·a·mor·pho·sis

BY AUTUMN VICTORIA

Nice To Meet You

How do you miss someone

It seems you hardly ever knew

As if I ever cross your mind While I still I search across the room

As if you didn’t almost kill me Yet still missing parts of you Like in another lifetime Our fate was deja vu Like maybe you really loved me And I’ve really forgiven you Like none of it ever happened And it was nice to meet you too

Live For

The days passing by I’m getting older

All these drunk feelings Though I’ve been sober Watching them come and leave Like the leaves on all the trees Building back pieces of me For a long while I haven’t seen

The days passing by As I’m getting older

This bed big enough but getting colder Tonight I wish I had a shoulder God been testing me To know it’s only one to lean on And though I’ve been doing fine Some nights I don’t wanna sleep alone I’m so over being chosen

Proving myself and my devotion No words left My heart has spoken

Done a lot of healing Though sometimes I cry Wondering how I am This way in your mind Wondering where you were All of them nights Because you would’ve never told me All of his lies

Putting my trust in the unfamiliar But they weren’t your eyes

Wish it could’ve been that simple Knowing you was what I wished for How you still worship my temple I would’ve had something to live for

I Do

Nobody cares

I be knocking when nobody’s there And of death I ain’t scared I’m just choosing to stay here

Choosing to find a place here

While I be crying the same tears All this shit in the same year Wake me up when the end’s near

Some things change you forever

You can’t imagine how My heart has been severed I promise I been a lot better With spirit guiding me through the desert

And though I’m just getting started Connecting with spirit We gone have us a party With libations and all that Gaining back my strength Surrendering all my heartache

Cause they look out for me Never make me feel alone When all hope was gone Their love from above Can’t compare at all

And each time I wanna cry about you I know he would tell me not to You don’t deserve my tears Cause if he was still here I would’ve saved my “I Do”

Think of Me Then

Most days with no texts It’s been 24 hours I remember being young With the time being ours Options all around But most of them cowards Wonder if I’ll ever give my heart Or if it’s all been devoured

Wonder where I am In peoples mind who I loved Even if we exchanged Nothing but brief stares and hugs The past is the past But I don’t like new things But they say To embrace what new brings How hard it is To share parts of me again Lately I been falling In love with my pen

Messages for you But I can’t press send How I wonder in ten What you will think of me then

Transparent

Don’t look like the magazines Is it why they don’t want me My mind every man’s dream But what about my body

You should go out more Get dressed up But falling for looks is so messed up If you can’t love me on my worst day Tell me how we gone get through the weather

So transparent I been see through Should I let the net put me under the needle After all they said I was too skinny My depression ain’t holding no damn food

Damn you

Mama why I don’t look like the other girls But other girls go through it just like me And why did he do me like that But bragged about how I was wifey

Whose You Are

Worshipping fake bodies Yet calling it real women Got mommy and daddy issues But we don’t wanna deal with it

Minding everybody business Instagram raising the children Portraying all these lies Just for the likes and millions

Everybody wanna be somebody Something somewhere all the time Nobody ever taught you Slow it down to find some peace of mind

Breathe sometimes Release sometimes Don’t you know spirit is your guide You’re made perfectly in his eye Why you compare Why do you cry

Dual realities Put down you phone Enjoy the breeze Have you ever seen the trees Tell me what is it they teach

Know we not from here But here we are doing our best I promise you’ll be better When you know who you are And whose you are instead

Colors

I think of myself then We were really just kids

I wonder if I can get back to her A girl of playful innocence Before yellow turned to red And red bled to black Our best moments lately They play back to back

Not That Girl Anymore

Not that girl anymore Who have I become For better or for worse

After what you’ve done Is it best to stay like this Or go back to my innocence I wonder when I’m older If sometimes I’ll be missing it

Remnants

I’d rather be numb than to ever feel again And rather sit with someone Than to sit with my pen You read my journal Thoughts of me and you I believed I never knew you but you knew all the pieces of me

Wonder

I wonder if you look for me Like I have in other people I Wonder how many lifetimes It took for us to meet our equal

How I Love

I realize out of the men that left me defeated

It was out of opportunities

I always felt cheated

Chances to learn and chances to grow

Lifting them up through all support I showed Feeling my touch softly enough

Bringing out sides they’d never seen blush Meeting my soul when my heart wrote words

Playing love songs I know they never heard

Spilling truths of every feeling I meant it

Sacred sex if I granted the tempted

I realize out of the men that left me defeated

It was how I loved them that had me so heated

It took 4 cornered walls and countless mirrored reflections

For me to see that I was the blessing