Debbie Rottinghaus and other Beta Sigmas at her wedding.
chapter as best displaying Ann's four qualities. Kelli said her •. mother has the spirit 1~i and will to live and has "learned tocherish each day" with her loved ones. Kelli as those who love her. recommends that The patient may be tearful, bewJiderectand ·• other people facing a· ... .angry. She may withdraw from social aetivi;_ -;.• terminal illness do tie~faml tsolate herselt - even ~~o~_.imme~iate their own research so , V1 family. Sh~Jnay have.·overwhelmJ~!'l feelings that they may • :·~ ~~ - · .. -~-- ~ of loneliA~S:;,behyper-irrltabJe,alid have become involved in cartng, compassionate person. She studies into new treatments for canhostility toward G.!11d~~elf o-t~th~r~: · - - •' ,. ~i:: .· . ' ; ·- -: said Ann started to appreciate the cer, such as the one in which her Both the patieij'tan'd her friends~nd family .,.,..,,y; . . , w little things after she was diagnosed mother participates. Kelli and her may go throul\h,:§.tages of denial _, ~~$he looks with cancer. mother worked to set up a research _·, / :¥' healthy: it must l;ie·a mistake." Andall will "Ann wasn't religious, but library for patients at their local hoshave feelings of depression, guilt and fear of about one month prior to her death, pital to facilitate this type of research this potentially fatal disease. she was baptized and confirmed as and have been campaigning to get a Catholic," Christine said. "Ann other hospitals to do the same. How can you help? · was so positive and always had a Kelli has found it especially helpful -Be an active listener. Listen with your heart good outlook. She put things in to talk with others. She remembers without judging. y(;ur physical presen.C.eran perspective. " getting a phone call asking her to talk desire to listen are critical neiJling tools~ Don't Christine remembers how others with a girl whose father was diagworry so much ab-out.~hat you will say. Just supported Ann. When Ann was first nosed with cancer. "I not only helped concentrate on listeningJo the IJYOrds thatare her, but she helped me," Kelli said. diagnosed, the chapter passed out "Friends can help by just listening. pink ribbons, in honor of her last being shared with you ahd-irY to -u~derstana. name. People were asked to rememThey don't have to say anything." . · 8~ coinpa$~ionate. Gj0e_ ~~r;'p~t~J~§:io~_to ber and pray for Ann. While Ann was Kelli has found a support group express he(fee~gs\~ithout f~ar· of~criticism . called "Why me?" where she is able away from school, the chapter sent Learn from her; _c;lon't instruct ur set expectaher the weekly newsletter to keep her to talk to others with similar tions ab·o.ut how s~e j>~gqy!~ r~s~orid. Never -':- _..,;; up on what was happening. Some experiences. She suggested that say, "I know_just how yot1_tee!.:' You don't · others contact their local hospitals chapter members visited and would bring cards with notes from everyone, to find out about such support Allow her to experience the ·hurt, sorrow or -- ' groups. "Meet others going through Christine recalled. Others would call pain that she is feeling . Enter in_to -h.er.feelfngs, it," Kelli said. or send flowers . but never try tQ. take them ~.v~ay. Be'c;o§nikeSandra said she had to learn to "Ann was getting stronger through tears are a naturaf"and apprormat~~p~~s$io~..-' 1 ask people for help. She learned to let each hurdle she crossed," Christine of Pa-in. -=>~;- ~-~ -~~-i·= ~/ ;P..~,.~.'. d others help by doing laundry, going said. "Ann was concerned about her ,,; ~ ~void -cliches. w~:;~~;~P be ext,r_ew~ly _ stomach being cut. She accepted that to the grocery, cleaning her house and cooking some meals for the and became stronger. The cancer painful. Cliches are off · ~-~ ~en iptentions family. She remembers that people began to spread throughout her to diminish the pain b .&~~ · '- pie solu- ··; 1 were especially helpful right after her body, and she became stronger . . ~~ tions to difficult reatit' ~: .. surgery by just sitting at her house to through each obstacle." Offer practical help. Pr.eQafif.Jg food ; washhelp answer the phone or door while The chapter vowed she would . .... . ing clothes, cleaning the hoo_s.e aod:groe~ry;.._"· . never be forgotten. A scholarship was she took a nap. ,;,.._ ·.. . . ,_ -..... . shopping are a few of the pr!etica)-w;Iys of, . - ~..,· ~: Sandra suggests that friends established in her name and is 'just listen . . . let them tell their '• awarded annually. The applications -showing you Gare.' This suppo'~~i{~e.e~ed ,',_~'- ;: story." She said that friends are reviewed by Ann's parents, who throughout the time of the canoohr.eaiment. .. . -If' shouldn't offer suggestions or criticize select the woman who best displays ·--Don't just visit initially, thenhi~affp~;r. A."J.~ ~:,;...~ -~i:. -~ like suggesting another doctor, the four qualities - courage, brief visit, telephone call or written 11\'0tds"are·:, "- · hospital or treatment. "Ask them how strength, generosity and dedication appreciated. A touch of your ruaki~g-~ye · · ·they are feeling," she said. "And ask that Ann had. contact or a hug 'often comm~nlca~;~~r~ ' . ' ~. them, 'What can I do to help you?' " A chapter award also is given in than words could ever say, . ;,.~:"'·;~:;~~--~:~· -- her name to the woman voted by the .' ~:·
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THE PHOENIX OF ALPHA SIGMA ALPHA
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