Lara and Matt

Lara

Matt

thanks

For opening our book

so nice to meet you

hello

We are Matt and Lara f rom a suburb just outside of Philadelphia and we’re so glad you’re here. Thank you for taking the time to get to know us. Our hope is that this book will give you an honest and open glimpse into our lives.

You are meeting us because we’re ready to grow our family through adoption. Adoption is something we’ve talked about for years, even before we were pregnant with our son Elliot, who is six years old. For us, now is the right time, and we can’t wait to become a family of four and to give Elliot a sibling. We’ve been married for 12 years and we have a community of loving and supportive f riends and family surrounding us. We know that for everyone involved, adoption can be a diff icult and complicated journey. But

WE HAVE A LOT OF LOVE TO GIVE, AND WE’RE EXCITED TO SHARE THAT LOVE

with another child

above all, it’s a decision born out of love and hope: love for a child and hope for their future. Please know that we would be honored if you put your trust in us to take this journey with you.

Thank you so much for taking the time to hear our story. Whatever decision you make will be the right one, because you know what’s best for you and your baby. We can’t imagine how difficult this must be to navigate, but we hope you feel a sense of peace throughout this process, no matter what you decide to do.

with love Lara and Matt

story

Our

We met at a mutual friend’s birthday party in 2008 and immediately started dating. The night we met, Lara was first drawn to Matt’s f riendliness, kindness, and how direct he was about getting to know each other, while Matt was attracted to how beautiful and approachable Lara was. At the time, we were both working in Philadelphia and had lots of fun going on dates in the city after work. Matt proposed at our home in 2009, followed by a surprise dinner with family and friends to celebrate. We have now been married for more than 12 years!

WHAT WE LOVE MOST ABOUT OUR RELATIONSHIP IS KNOWING THAT WE CAN ALWAYS COUNT ON ONE ANOTHER.

One of our favorite things to do as a family is going for walks with our son, Elliot, and our dog, Millie. We also like going out to eat with friends and cooking new recipes at home. What we love most about our relationship is knowing that we can always count on one another. We’re partners for life and love the family and community of friends we’ve built together. We’ve been through challenges together, and after each challenge our relationship becomes stronger than before. We know that we can handle anything together! Challenges have also taught us to value what’s really important in life – people, experiences, health, and happiness. We value joy and love being silly and laughing together.

Mostly, we love spending time and playing with Elliot and just being together as a family!

Why we are

adopting It took a couple of years to get pregnant with Elliot, and during that time we started to consider other options to grow our family. We agreed that if we couldn’t get pregnant, we were absolutely happy to grow our family through adoption. Lara’s delivery and postpartum were challenging, and we decided to choose another route to grow our family again. We have never doubted our decision to adopt and to love another baby just as we’d love a biological child.

We did not expect Elliot to be born with Down syndrome, and we are certainly not the “typical” kind of family that we first envisioned we would be. Elliot has taught us that what you least expect just might be the most amazing surprise. And that’s how we see adoption! It’s not what we expected, but it has become a unique and meaningful way to grow our family and to share our love. We will love and care for this baby, and will respect the important role that you have in this child’s life.

Having a child with special needs has taught us a very important lesson – to let go of expectations and allow our child to be whoever they are meant to be. We can commit to loving this child exactly as they are, and to support them on their journey toward a happy and fulfilled life.

Their occupation, their IQ, who they choose to love - none of that matters as long as they’re happy and compassionate people.

WE HAVE NEVER DOU BT E D O U R D EC I S I O N TO A D O PT

and to love another baby.

Lara meet

FAVORITE BOOK: Anything by Kristin Hannah FAVORITE MEMORY: Our wedding I’M INSPIRED BY: People who face adversity and find the strength to stay positive and keep going FRIENDS DESCRIBE ME AS: Loyal and supportive

I grew up in Pennsylvania and had a great childhood with my parents, older sister, and younger brother. We always had lots of animals (horses, cows, chickens) and spent lots of time being outside and active with family and f riends.

I’m most passionate about advocating for my son and others with disabilities by spreading awareness about our journey with Down syndrome. I want to use our story to help normalize differences and make the world a more compassionate, accepting place. My work is as a senior editor in the marketing department at a private university. I’ve been there for 15 years and love working at a university because it’s a high-energy environment where the faculty, students, and alumni are all doing truly inspiring work. I also really enjoy writing and using my skills to tell a good story!

5 things Lara loves Playing tennis Going for walks with girlfriends, our dog, or Matt and Elliot Reading and journaling Going out to eat with friends Doing DIY projects around the house (I’ve painted several rooms and renovated two of our bathrooms.)

Being a parent is the hardest but most rewarding thing I’ve ever done! I feel an incredible amount of pride every time Elliot accomplishes something new. Because of his Down syndrome diagnosis, Elliot often has to work really hard to accomplish things, and when he does, it’s just the most remarkable feeling. I also enjoy the little day-to-day experiences like Elliot’s smile and laugh. I’m excited to raise our future child in a loving home and to do the little, everyday things with them - walks at the park, reading books before bed, and chasing bubbles in the backyard.

I can’t wait to watch their personality develop, and to witness them explore the world around them. I’m so excited to see their relationship with their big brother, Elliot, unfold!

Matt meet

FAVORITE MOVIE: Bottle Rocket FAVORITE MEMORY: Our trip out west to visit national parks in 2013 I’M INSPIRED BY: People who continue to improve themselves throughout their life FRIENDS DESCRIBE ME AS: Optimistic and fun

I grew up in Pennsylvania, along with my parents and older brother. We moved to a new town at the beginning of f ifth grade where I made a bunch of good f riends, many of whom I am still close with today. We lived in a nice neighborhood packed with kids our age, which made me appreciate the bonds kids make when they’re young and caref ree. I am a senior product owner at an investment management company. I really enjoy working with our consumers and understanding their data needs, then developing and delivering products that make their lives easier and eventually deliver value to investors. I appreciate knowing that my work contributes to our investors’ f inancial success. In my f ree time, I enjoy listening to music and podcasts and diving into a good movie. I also like watching Philadelphia sports teams, as painful as that can be at times.

As a parent, I love the excitement of seeing our son pick up a new life skill or concept. These typically take more time and effort for Elliot, so his success is that much sweeter, especially knowing all the work he puts in with his teachers, therapists, and family. It’s truly a team effort and everyone gets to experience the joy. I am excited to share with our future child an open and accepting household and extended family. This child will have every opportunity to try all the different activities and sports our community has to offer and to pursue whatever makes them happy. They will join us on family walks and bike rides and play at the park across f rom our neigh-

5 thingsMatt loves Playing men’s league ice hockey Running outdoors Going for walks at the park with my family and dog

borhood. As they grow, I’m excited to cook with

Going to music concerts

them in the kitchen and prepare healthy and

Experimenting with cooking

delicious foods with them.

(especially Asian cuisine)

Lara

in Matt’s words

“Lara is a truly amazing and patient mother. Her capacity to advocate for and nurture our son is incredible. I feel at peace and lucky knowing our son has a mom who is more than up to the task of raising a son with special needs. I am grateful for how well Lara keeps the family organized, and she always has an eye toward the future, which keeps us all prepared for whatever comes next. Elliot and I have been lucky to join her family and the values, bonds, and support that come with it. I also really enjoy the conversations we have when we’re not being parents. When we have time alone, we still make each other laugh and enjoy each other’s company.” (Matt)

Matt

in Lara’s words

“Matt is a true caretaker. He cares for me and Elliot in big and small ways, every single day. My dad recently passed, and he and Matt had a special bond. I know that he respected Matt for the kind of father and husband that he is. Matt balances me out and brings peace to our family. He calms me down when I’m overwhelmed and he always puts things into perspective for me when I have a hard time doing that myself.” (Lara)

meet

Elliot

LOVING AND JOYFUL

Elliot is an extremely happy kid. He loves music (his favorite song is “Yeah” by Usher!), Sesame Street, reading books, learning with flashcards, playing with other kids, and having fun with our pup. Some of his favorite things to do are taking trips to the park and playground, swimming in the summer, and riding in his buggy when we take family bike rides. Elliot is in Kindergarten and loves going to school. He’s making new friends and especially enjoys learning how to read.

Though we talk a lot about Elliot’s special needs, that’s just a small part of who he is! People with Down syndrome are more alike than different from us. Elliot attends a regular elementary school, goes to a weekly creative movement dance class and plays on a community baseball team. He is such a hard worker and makes us immensely proud! We are so grateful he is healthy and doesn’t have any of the common health issues that children with Down syndrome can have, with the exception that he wears glasses.

Elliot has a lot of love to give. He is a sweet, joyful boy who would thrive with a sibling to be his best friend for life. Having a sibling with Down syndrome is a unique opportunity for any child.

Studies have shown that kids who grow up with siblings with Down syndrome are more empathetic, insightful, accepting, and tend to have higher communication and social skills. Overwhelmingly, a relationship between a child with Down syndrome and his/her siblings is a beautiful thing.

in our family

WE UNDERSTAND THAT "HARD" DOESN'T ALWAYS MEAN BAD. SOMETIMES HARD IS JUST HARD, AND THAT'S OKAY. IN OUR FAMILY, WE LOVE UNCONDITIONALLY.

home

our

We live in a three-bedroom, single-family home in Pennsylvania. Our home was built in 1965, on a little over .8 acres. We live on a quiet street with a lot of trees. Our favorite part of our home is the large deck and backyard, where we spend many days in the warmer months. We also love to relax or play with Elliot in our big family room which has a vaulted ceiling and skylights. We love that our home feels cozy and welcoming.

Our street has lots of f riendly neighbors who also have children around Elliot’s age. At the bottom of our street is a park that we go to multiple times a week. We’ve lived in this town for more than 10 years. There are lots of great restaurants and shops, as well as a farmers market, food truck festivals, and other community activities that take place downtown. I’ve (Lara) also recently begun attending a church downtown with my sister. We’re in one of the top school districts in the state of Pennsylvania.

While our immediate family does not represent much diversity (as you can tell f rom our photos!), we live in a relatively diverse area and have many f riends with varying backgrounds. We’ve spoken to our f riends who are in multicultural relationships and have children in order to better understand their perspective as we prepare for the possibility of adopting a child who is not white. They’ve talked to us about the importance of things like skincare and haircare, and ways we can honor and incorporate our future child’s culture and background into our lives moving forward. And they have all offered to continue to walk this journey with us – even once our adoption is complete.

MEET MILLIE We have one dog – Millie! She and Elliot are best buddies. She lets him get away with almost anything...stealing her food, dressing her up, and pulling her tail. She is very tolerant and loyal with kids.

Since the day we brought Elliot home f rom the hospital, Millie’s been great with him. We know that she’ll be great with another child in the house too!

families

our

LARA’S FAMILY: We are extremely close with my family. My older sister, Kate, is one of my best f riends, and her husband and three kids live about 20 minutes away. We see them often.

Kate’s kids are 18, 14, 13 and 3 (their foster child). Elliot is extremely close to his cousins. They live in a big farmhouse with animals, a pool, and a big yard. We also take family vacations together and attend my nephews’ baseball games and my niece’s theatre performances. I’m close with my younger brother, Mike, who is a professor in Ohio and comes home for visits often. My mother lives nearby, and we see her at least once a week. My dad was an amazing father until we lost him in June 2021.

MATT’S FAMILY: My parents are divorced, and I am very close with both of them and their new partners. My mother lives in Upstate New York, but she is close with Elliot and has extended visits with us about six times a year. We also make an annual trip to visit her and her signif icant other. My older brother has Tourette’s Syndrome and some additional mental health challenges. We are always there for him when his needs are healthy and productive. We remain close with his daughter (our niece) and her mother. My dad lives locally with my half-sister and her wife and we’re all very close. My half-sister and her wife will also begin an adoption journey soon!

In our Family...

We appreciate differences and celebrate ever yone’s uniqueness.

There is a lot of laughter, silliness and dance par ties.

before you go We want you to know Thank you again for taking the time to get to know us and hear our story. We realize that you are considering an incredibly diff icult and selfless decision. More than anything, we want to reassure you that if you choose us, your baby will know what it is to be loved, unconditionally, every single day.

We also make these promises to you: • Your baby will grow up in a safe home, surrounded by a supportive community of family and f riends • We will celebrate their uniqueness and their victories – big and small • They will grow up to know the importance of being kind, showing compassion and helping others • We will always be by their side, loving them through the good times and the bad • We will honor your connection to them with whatever level of openness and communication you’re comfortable with

If we take this journey together, we will always speak of you with the respect and admiration that you deserve. No matter what you decide, we wish you and your baby the best, always.

with love,

Lara and Matt