Davidsonian 10.4

The

Davidsonian

Independent Student Journalism Since 1914

davidsonian.news

inside

2

Daniel Lee ‘26 reports on the Supreme Court’s Affirmative Action ruling

Volume 122, Issue 03

October 04, 2023

Cameron Krakowiak ‘24 examins women soccer’s season turn around

5

Arts and Culture uncovers the artist behind the new Nummit artwork

6

The Yowl: Squirrels exceed studentathletes in athletic ability?

CatCard Approved as Valid Voter Identification

SAVANNAH SORAGHAN ‘27 (SHE/HER) STAFF WRITER

D

avidson College students who want to vote in North Carolina in the next election will be able to use their CatCard to get into local polling centers.

Richard Terry, Director of Auxiliary Services at Davidson, has been working with CatCard services to get the CatCard approved as a valid form of ID. “It was tedious,” he said. “You had to send designs and there was a very short time frame to get them in, but we were approved.”

The approval comes amid a debate in North Carolina and across the country about access to voting, including voting on college campuses.

In 2022, North Carolina’s Supreme Court Justices shot down the state’s 2018 bill mandating that voters show a photo ID. This was based on the premise that they were infected with racial bias, therefore unconstitutional as it violated the state constitutions equal protection guarantee.

In April 2023 the North Carolina State Supreme Court revisited previous decisions regarding voter identification. With the new Republican majority, the court moved to enforce photo voter ID requirements in upcoming 2024 elections with a 5-2 decision.

The Court has said in a decision on their reversal of their original decision that they have failed to find proof of discrimination with the new voter ID law. In November of 2018, in a statewide referendum, 55% of citizens voted saying that they were in support of requiring photo ID. As the 2024 elections come nearer, both poll workers and voters will have to work to adapt to the changes in North Carolina’s voting law. Approving the use of a college ID as voter ID is just one step in a larger process of overcoming new challenges and opportunities that the law presents.

Many Republicans have justified the implementation of voter ID by stating its protection against voter fraud in eliminating voter impersonation and increasing the public’s confidence in election security, according to the National Conference of State Legislature. Henry McGannon ‘24, President of the Davidson Republicans and registered to vote in NC, is in support of the new law.

“It ensures that you are who you say you are when you vote. There are some concerns about photo ID, but the benefits outweigh the

disenfranchise voters, especially minorities.

According to the Southern Coalition for Social Justice, roughly 7% of registered voters lack voter ID. Many are concerned that this will prevent citizens from voting, particularly citizens of color. Quinn Dunlap ‘25, President of Davidson Democrats and registered NC voter, falls into this category.

“I think that it limits access to voting and that it is usually a way to impede on disenfranchised groups who don’t have access

CatCards are now an option for voter identification in NC. Created by Mckinley Lettre ‘24. cost,”McGannon said.

North Carolina joins the 35 states that require some form of identification at the polls.

The state requires active, government issued ID which includes a drivers license or DMV issued ID, U.S. passport, employee ID cards issued by state or local government, military identification, Veteran Affairs Identification card, tribal enrollment card, or a Student Identification card that has been approved by the state. While the law is meant to protect against voter fraud, many believe that it will

to ID… who may vote a certain way,” Dunlap said.

When NC legislation began to lay the groundwork for a voter ID requirement in 2018, which was then promptly struck down, Davidson started working towards getting the CatCard approved so if it came in question again, they would have all the paperwork and templates ready.

“We were not starting from scratch,” Terry said. “The State Board of Elections said that all the requirements they had initially were

8

the same…and actually we made a change then. One of the requirements for a college ID to be used as a voter ID, it needs to have an expiration date, which you can see on your CatCard now.”

The North Carolina State Board of Elections also has requirements regarding the security of printing the cards. According to their website, access to the equipment for production of the ID cards must be restricted through security measures and misuse of the equipment for their production will be grounds for termination.

However, there is some trepidation amongst students surrounding the security of using CatCards.

“It feels like a solution in search of a problem.

Anyone can have one [a CatCard]. It’s not the same as a government ID,” McGannon said.

Another concern stems from CatCard services’ future plan of allowing students to use preferred names instead of legal names. In the event that a student does choose to use a preferred name, it is not confirmed that it will be allowed as a valid voter ID. Although the number of students who may need to use a college ID when voting is small, there are a few cases where CatCards may become important to voting, especially for students who have changed their voter registration from their home state to North Carolina.

“It’s for a very small cohort of students,” Terry said. “So the idea is there could be a student who’s become eligible to vote in North Carolina who, for some reason, does not have a passport or driver’s license, and this is a way that they would be taken care of,.”

New Stone Path: A Solution or an Inconvenience?

JUDAH SILVERMAN ‘27 (HE/HIM) STAFF WRITER

W

hen the E. Craig Wall Jr. Center opened in 2017, the only paths to the building were the oval-shaped walkway from the E.H. Little Library and Chambers which still stands today. Students were meant to walk along this walkway, as opposed to cutting across the grass directly in front of Wall. However, the fast-paced nature of college students’ lives left little room for taking a detour. Many began traversing directly across the grass, though few realized that the grass they were crossing was meant to be campus lawn space for events.

David Holthouser, the Director of Facilities and Engineering for the college’s Physical Plant, explained that “students began to cut across and wore out [the grass].” Eventually, “the cut-through became unsightly, and campus events there stopped.”

To preserve the aesthetic nature of the lawn as students walked across, the stone path students use today was installed to keep

the area clean while maintaining the lawn’s integrity.

“The flagstone still symbolizes it as lawn space, as it was intended. I have the same treatment between [in the Sculpture Garden],” Holthouser said.

Beth Bleil, the director of the Office of Academic Access and Disability Resources, stresses that the grass infront of Wall was not meant to be used as a sidewalk.

“This area of grass was never designed as a walkway, so individuals should continue to use the previously designed accessible walkways.”

However, many students still chose to walk directly accross the grass. While the stone path acts as a convenience for many, this is not the case for all students. Sarah Todd Hammer ‘24, the founder and President of the Davidson Disability Alliance (DDA), an organization that “facilitates visibility, inclusion, and support for disabled students at Davidson College” elaborates on the matter.

“Those who use wheelchairs or scooters, crutches or a walker… walk unsteadily, have

Students exit Wall using the new stone walkway across the grass. Photo by Anika Banerjee ‘24. impaired balance, or are at increased risk of falling… have trouble accessing this path as the patches of grass make it a tripping hazard,” Hammer said.

Rui Rui Bleifuss ‘26, Vice President of the DDA explained that the deisgn of the path makes it difficult for her to use.

“The way the stones are so separated, I cannot drive my scooter across it,” Bleifuss said, “The grass in between the stones makes the path extremely unstable and is a hazard to students who have mobility aids, or poor

CONTINUED ON PAGE 2

News

2

End of Affirmative Action Brings Challenges to Davidson DANIEL LEE ‘26 (HE/HIM) STAFF WRITER

T

he Supreme Court’s ruling on Students for Fair Admissions v. Harvard declared race-based affirmative action unconstitutional, marking this summer as a new chapter for the heavily contested admissions policy.

Writing for the majority opinion, Chief Justice John Roberts argued that affirmative action “lack[s] sufficiently focused and measurable objectives warranting the use of race” and emphasized that applicants “must be treated based on his or her experiences as an individual.” In her dissent, Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson criticized the majority’s attempt to establish a “colorblindness for all” and wrote that “deeming race irrelevant in law does not make it so in life.”

As higher institutions prepare for the upcoming admissions cycle, many questions remain: How will the racial and economic diversity at selective institutions change?

What are the long-term implications? Should legacy preferences and standardized test requirements end?

Andrew O’Geen, Associate Professor of Political Science and an expert on the Supreme Court, said that the decision was not unexpected.

“One of the things that has become accepted knowledge among political scientists, especially with the modern court, is that the justices will behave exactly how we expect them to behave,” he said. “So, when you have a conservative majority who has historically been skeptical of affirmative action as a legal principle, it is not a particularly surprising outcome.”

As for the implications of SFFA v. Harvard, O’Geen said no one can be too sure.

“It’s certainly going to make it harder for colleges and universities that want to prioritize racial diversity among their student bodies to do that through the admissions process,” he said. “The Supreme Court has constrained admissions departments and limited the tools that are open to them, but they have not eliminated all possible tools.”

Among student voices, Anya Neumeister ’24 expressed that although she was not surprised by the decision, she was disappointed in the Court’s reasoning “Interestingly, [SFFA v. Harvard] targets race, but we do not hear any mention of legacy or other ways that some students have

an advantage over others,” she said.

Davidson, in recent years, has removed a question of legacy status from its application.

In a statement from College Communications, the school explained “There is no legacy preference. Legacy status plays no role in the point system used on applicants.”

Nate Bagonza ’24, a Senior Admissions Fellow, shared that he was “somebody who had to deal with a lot of accusations of being benefited by whatever affirmative action meant to [others] just because I am a Black student.” He is frustrated that SFFA v. Harvard affirms a “weird double standard where people think that now there is a privilege with being a minority, which is not necessarily true or valid.”

Anthony Toumazatos ’25 emphasized the importance of considering socioeconomic factors in admissions, something he felt as though affirmative action did not directly influence.

“Colleges are not the engines of social mobility we think they are,” Toumazatos said, referring to a New York Times study in 2017 that found that at elite private institutions, only about one student in ten manages to rise even two rungs (two quintiles) on the income ladder.

“I think race should not be a proxy for disadvantage but rather be used in tandem with disadvantage itself, which I operationalize as socioeconomic status,” Toumazatos said.

“With Affirmative Action, diversification did not come with democratization; it did not benefit the social mobility of those from lowincome backgrounds.”

Toumazatos further stated that his ideal policy “would be one that takes into account both race and socioeconomic factors because certain systemic elements may shape the experience of being low-income for people of color in a way it does not for white applicants.”

Toumazatous believes a policy tailored to “helping those from economically underserved backgrounds, who are also disproportionately people of color” will best help serve the goal of making “our college campus truly representative.”

Christopher Gruber, Vice President and Dean of Admission and Financial Aid, was frustrated with the Court’s decision.

“I have just entered my 39th year doing this, and I feel that the Courts slapped us pretty hard in having any respect for the type of work that colleges and universities are practicing and how holistic admissions is done,” he said. “Is that a devaluation? Maybe it is just a

Grey House, home to Davidson Admissions. Photo by Davidson College misunderstanding. It has been hard because I do not feel our work is being respected.”

Gruber added that the Admissions Office had thoroughly prepared for the end of race-based affirmative action because they suspected it would be overturned.

“In the last review cycle, the concept of race has been something that was spoken about in understanding the context of a student in the school, the programs that they are involved in, the things that are important to them, and their letters of recommendation,” Gruber said. “We looked to remove that from the conversation as best as we could in this trial time, preparing for what is likely to come. Can our narratives not include that? Are there different ways we can think of doing this?”

In upcoming admissions cycles, more effort and resources will be allocated toward recruitment, which involves strategic marketing tactics to attract prospective applicants who are good fits for Davidson.

“We are putting more money and deferring money from past budgets [into recruitment],” Gruber said. “When a student takes the SAT and says, ‘Yes, I would like to go into student search,’ I can still recruit by how one defines their race to the College Board. Also, Davidson hosts programming such as Access Davidson for students of underrepresented racial backgrounds, rural and socioeconomic backgrounds, and Pell-eligible students.”

In doing so, however, Gruber emphasized the commitment to a comprehensive, review in the admissions process that considers multiple aspects of an applicant’s identity.

“Nothing is 100% race-specific for anything,”

Gruber said. “You will find that there are students of all reported races and of first and non-first-generation status. There is nothing that is exclusive.”

While recognizing SFFA v. Harvard as “the law of the land,” College President Doug Hicks reiterated Davidson College’s commitment to justice, equality, and community.

“We understand that race continues to be an important factor in a person’s identity and how society is organized,” President Hicks said. “The notion of color blindness does not fully incorporate the questions of continuing injustice, inequality, and inequity.”

President Hicks elaborated on his understanding of DEI in creating a community–through the building of a new class or otherwise–at Davidson.

“To me, diversity, equity, and inclusion means a community where all the gifts and talents of people are able to be on full display and that people do not just have the invitation to belong to somebody else’s house, but that they truly belong.”

Despite the looming challenges presented

by SFFA v. Harvard, Gruber shared words of determination and trust for Davidson and other higher institutions.

“My hope is that there is confidence and trust in the work that we are doing,” Gruber said.

“I wish to convey hope to students who are coming through this, and especially to those students who perhaps could be most impacted by the Supreme Court’s decision. I hope that the experiences of how students can continue to learn and value one another on a campus like this will continue to grow.”

UNC-Chapel Hill Tragedy Sparks Debate About Guns on Campus

AIDAN MARKS ‘27 (HE/HIM) STAFF WRITER

O

n Monday, August 28, the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill was rocked by news of a shooting on campus. In a tragic incident, a graduate student shot and killed associate professor Zijie Yan. Just 16 days later, students went into lockdown again as news circulated of an armed person on campus. The fact that nobody was injured likely carried little comfort for students on a campus now intimately acquainted with the constant threat of gun violence.

The next day, Tim Moore – Speaker of the NC House of Representatives and a Republican – questioned the effectiveness of state law that classifies carrying a gun on educational property as a felony offense.

“You’re not just going to snap your fingers and get rid of guns,” Moore said. “That’s not reality; criminals are going to have guns. And the best deterrent against a criminal with a gun is a good guy with a gun.”

“The campus is a gun-free zone. And so a number of students have said, why do they have to be unarmed, when there’s clearly a way that bad guys can get on the campus? So,

you know, it’s a gun free zone, and that clearly is not working,” Moore continued.

In response, students from UNC-Chapel Hill and NC A&T State University protested at the state legislative building to demand action on gun violence. As students were escorted out of the House gallery by General Assembly police, Moore quipped, “This isn’t a pep rally.

This is the House of Representatives.”

The incidents at UNC-Chapel Hill have caused many members of the Davidson Community to re-evaluate how safe they feel on campus.

“I would imagine that Davidson students, even more than Davidson faculty members, understand the vulnerability that we all have to gun violence…I think we all are subjected to this constant battery of shootings and mass shootings and interpersonal violence that makes everybody feel at least a little bit unsafe probably all the time,” said Dr. Melody Crowder-Meyer, Associate Professor of Political Science.

Henry McGannon ‘24, President of College Republicans, saw the shooting as a reality check.

“I think we tend to view the unlikely as impossible until it happens. That is, I feel generally safe on campus, but the idea that we

are immune to crime or tragedy is foolhardy, and one can never be too cautious,” McGannon said via email.

As Moore’s comments hang in the air, students such as Quinn Dunlap ‘25, President of College Democrats, have begun to consider how the presence of guns on campus would affect their perception of safety.

“It is ridiculous to suggest that we should just equip all college students with guns…I don’t think that would make anyone feel too good,” Dunlap said. “I would feel pretty freaked out.”

Dr.Crowder-Meyer finds truth in Dunlap’s concerns.

“You’re simply setting up an environment where [law enforcement is] less able to keep everyone safe, because they’re trying to ascertain which of the people with guns are the quote, good guys,” Dr. Crowder-Meyer said.

Others, such as McGannon believe a repeal of state restrictions would be a step in the right direction.

“I completely agree with Speaker Moore that good guys with guns deter bad guys with guns,” McGannon. “It’s no coincidence that many of this nation’s worst firearm tragedies have taken place in so-called “gun free zones.

The great flaw in the gun-free zone idea is that the defined area is gun-free–until it’s not; then, what you have is a bad guy with a gun and no one to stop him.”

Campus Police Chief Julian Coaxum declined to speculate on the effects of any potential change to state law.

“Davidson College Campus Police offer active shooter training sessions to faculty and staff upon request,” Coaxum said via email .

“In January 2023, campus leaders from across campus responded to a simulated activeshooter scenario.”

Moore is yet to propose policy on the issue.

To Dr. Crowder-Meyer, that likely means he does not intend to.

“This is an example of a well honed strategy that legislators use called position taking, where it turns out, people often aren’t paying close enough attention to really know if you accomplished a legislative goal…and so often legislators will pursue re-election through position taking, so they establish a position, maybe introduce a piece of legislation on that, but don’t actually follow through with anything substantive.”

Features

3

What event happens at 8:30 every Wednesday at Nummit?

BELLA ANDJELKOVIC ‘26 (SHE/HER) SENIOR STAFF WRITER

8

:30pm. Wednesday night. Nummit.

Students are welcomed by laughter, shouts of playful banter, and pitchers of beer as they wait in anticipation for new trivia host Nate Bagonza 24’ to begin.

Trivia is hosted every Wednesday at Nummit by the Union Board. For many, it is a weekday ritual. And with different themes and questions each week, it is easy to get hooked, even if you are not a “big trivia guy” as Jean Beltran ‘24, a trivia regular since h i s

sophomore year, puts it.

“What I love about trivia is that it honestly is not about trivia at all,” Beltran said. “To me, trivia is about hanging out with friends you haven’t been able to see due to busy conflicting schedules. It is about running into people you otherwise would not see. It is about drinking cider on a Wednesday night. It is an excuse to just get together and have fun.”

Trivia at Davidson is unique in its impact on a niche school culture. Emily Schmitt ‘23, last year’s host, experienced this firsthand.

“During my senior year I got to feel the full impact of trivia - people are so passionate about it that they get upset when things go wrong or questions are in a gray area - which is sometimes hard as a host but at the same time it’s rare that you get to be at the helm of something that people care so much about,” Schmitt said.

Cali Koerner ‘24, has observed trivia from an outside perspective as a Nummit barista and recent community and events manager.

“It really has a habit of connecting students who would not know each other otherwise,” Koerner said. “Trivia is a fantastic way to bring people together on this campus, especially if going out on the weekends is not really your vibe.”

The trivia host changes each year, and each host brings something new to the table. Virginia Heiser ‘24, Union Board president, said that they h a v e trouble

both are “fantastic.”

“Nate is super easy to work with and just a great person all around,” Koerner said.

From a participant standpoint, Beltran highlighted Bagonza’s ability to encourage healthy competition.

“He has done an amazing job at being trivia accessible for those who are casual players, but challenging enough for those who are trivia junkies to enjoy.”

I a n

For those tasked with answering Bagonza’s range of questions, there exist several different strategies for success. Macel credits his previous victories to his peers.

“It’s all about the team,” Macel said. “Our team is made up of a wide range of majors and people with different tastes. There is almost always someone who will know the answer and the rest of us will trust in them, and it usually pays off.”

Thomas Warren ‘24, four-time winner, offers alternate advice: “Read Wikipedia for fun, watch Jeopardy!, and do the New York Times crossword if you can.”

choosing from many strong candidates each spring.

“We often look for someone who has a strong background in public speaking and has shown interest in trivia during their time at Davidson,” Heiser said.

When applying to host trivia, Bagonza found confidence in his presentation.

“While I had to overcome my own nervousness about applying as somebody without much improv experience, as the past two hosts in my time here have both been president of Oops! [the on-campus improv group], I believed that I had what it took to stand in front of the crowd and put on a great event every week.”

While Koerner notices a change in energy between Schmitt and Bagonza, she finds that

Macel ‘24 has won trivia three times in the past year and is roommates with Bagonza. He finds Bagonza’s personality “perfect” for the job.

“He has a great mix of questions and his personal flair and gung-ho commentary is entertaining,” Macel said.

Bagonza dedicates the majority of his free time to choosing engaging music and writing fun and challenging questions.

“The presentation is always created in a fit of creative inspiration,” Bagonza said. “People often ask me how long it takes to write the questions, and the answer is it takes every second I have free until 8:29 pm on Wednesday.

I am constantly tinkering with things and editing the slides, thinking of what works best with the content.”

Trivia’s influence reaches far beyond Nummit’s walls.

“I used trivia as examples of creativity and working under pressure when I was interviewing for my current job and it’s one of the things I’m most proud of doing during my time at Davidson,” Schmitt said.

Bogonza emphasized the role he plays in cultivating the culture and community.

“It is an incredible feeling to meet people who tell me that an event I get to host is something they look forward to every week.”

Bogonza said. “COVID impacted my first year greatly, so I’m glad that things are back to normal now so freshmen can come to Nummit and build memories with one another from day one. I believe that’s already happening, which is beautiful and such a fulfilling part of my final year at Davidson.”

Crime Log Time Reported

Description/Location

09/21/23 12:46 hrs

Threats Offense: Communicating Threats

Students enjoy playing trvia at Nummit every Wendesday. All photos by Shreya Sharma ‘24

Walkway Inaccessible for Some

Carnegie Guest House, Inactive

09/23/23 12:00 hrs

Forgery Offense College Store, Inactive

Felony Breaking & 09/23/23 13:30 hrs Entering a Building

Armfield, Further Investigation

09/24/23 00:49 hrs

Larceny Offense: Misdemeanor Larceny Baseball PVA, Inactive

09/27/23 1345 hrs Harrassment;

2nd Degree Kidnapping Ryburn, Inactive

Students walk to class on the new stone path. Photo by Anika Banerjee ‘24

CONTINUED FROM PAGE 1 balance.”

Campus activists like Bleifuss and Hammer are seeking swift change to make this path inclusive and accessible.

“When areas are not accessible, they are not complete,” Hammer said. “Access is part of the work – not extra work,” she adds.

Despite the challeges the walkway presents, Bleil emphasizes the hard work done by Physical Plant to create more accommodating spaces on campus.

“Physical Plant does a good job of maintaining our campus to be a beautiful one, and they also

care about accessibility. For example, they are a leading partner in a campus accessibility audit currently being conducted by the college.”

Perspectives

4

Free Education Pays More

7

JOHN ENDRES ‘26 (HE/HIM)

2 Thousand Dollars. One can buy a lot with that money. It’s a downpayment for a 2 bedroom house in Houston. It’s a brand new Mercedes-Benz. It’s about 66 Taylor Swift tickets on the resell market. It’s also the price of a year’s education at Davidson College. For such a steep price tag, college should be an investment that guarantees students not only a valuable degree, but a financially-stable future to go along with it.

The unfortunate reality is that the cost of going to college has rapidly outweighed the financial benefit one receives from attending college.

The solution is simple: make public colleges and universities 100% tuition free. Guarantee that no student, no matter their background, socioeconomic status, race, or gender, is to be denied higher education simply because of the price tag.

Due to the cost of college, according to Forbes, 43.5 million Americans owe student debt. The debt accrued from attending college prohibits many graduates from attaining basic aspects of adulthood. How much so? Gallup reports that 51% of renters say student loan debt has prevented them from buying a home. If college is supposed to provide a higher quality of life for its students, why is it that millions of Americans

have to put their life on hold because of it? The cruel irony is that an increasing number of employers won’t even look at an applicant unless they have a college degree. The average teenager is left with an impossible dilemma: refuse to attend college and be relegated to a job pool that consists of insufficient hourly pay, or spend tens of thousands of dollars on college tuition and

perspective, is the moral perspective. The United States is the richest country in the history of the world, and yet the political conversations center around implementing tax-cuts for those who don’t need them as opposed to investing in the most important demographic in the nation: our children. How are we embodying the “American dream” if we are forcing our college graduates into

“You are not truly free when you graduate college with hundreds of thousands of dollars in student debt. You are not truly free when you cannot pursue your dream of becoming a teacher, journalist, or nurse because you cannot make enough money to cover your student loan payments.” spend the rest of their adult lives working to pay it off. With Forbes also reporting that the cost of college has increased nearly eight times faster than wages the past 30 years, the next generation of college graduates is being left a significantly duller future than those preceding them.

Perhaps more important than the economic

hundreds of thousands of dollars worht of student debt? How can we tell our sons and daughters that they can truly change the world if we perpetuate a system that disincentivizes following one’s passion? You are not truly free when you graduate college with hundreds of thousands of dollars in student debt. You are not truly free when you

cannot pursue y o u r dream of becoming a teacher, journalist, or nurse because you cannot make enough money to cover your student loan payments.

Not only are we living in a society that is punishing people for wanting to learn and grow, we are punishing the hardest-working Americans who got into college against all odds, those whose contributions to society will further our nation’s progress.

The cost of tuition-free college is, ironically, free. It would require no change in the tax code, nor would it cost any citizen more in taxpayer dollars. All it would cost is a slight shift in our national priorities.

Do we want to invest in the education of our constituents, an investment that would ensure a more knowledgeable workforce that is versatile and capable of adapting to the supply and demand of the economy? Or do we want to continue providing tax cuts for the top 1/10th of 1 percent and see the already unprecedented and despicable level of income inequality increase? The choice is ours.

Profits over People, 836th Edition DANIEL MADDY ‘24 (HE/HIM)

I

n late 2019, the U.S. Congress passed the 2020 National Defense Authorization Act which funds our military. This past Sunday marked the final day that the Department of Defense could use its funds to purchase a highly specialized fire-fighting foam. This foam, AFFF, was the military’s best solution to hangar fuel fires, which respond poorly to normal extinguishing methods. The question, then, is why phase out this incredibly effective solution?

The same bill allocated federal funds for studying, removing, and remediating instances of an eighty-year-old class of chemicals called PFAS, more commonly known as ‘forever chemicals’. If you’ve ever had the fortune to cook an egg in a nonstick pan, eat popcorn out of a microwave bag, or sleep dry in a waterproof tent, then you’ve felt the benefits of this class of chemicals.

These chains of carbon surrounded by fluorine atoms have properties that make them resistant to grease, water, and stains.

In the early 1980s, DuPont, one of the world’s largest chemical manufacturers, bought a small plot of land from a farmer in West Virginia. This land would then be used to dispose of waste from manufacturing Teflon, their miracle nonstick coating. Over a decade after DuPont had built and began filling a chemical landfill on that land, the farmer – Wilbur Tennant – found that almost three quarters of his cattle were dead, dying, or born with organ defects. As depicted in Tennant’s lawyer Robert Bilott’s book Exposure: Poisoned Water, Corporate Greed, and One Lawyer’s Twenty-Year Battle against DuPont – one forever chemical abbreviated PFOA had been negligently disposed of in the DuPont landfill. In fact, DuPont was eventually found to have dumped PFOA-

containing waste directly into the Ohio river.

Finally, in 2000, Bilott won discovery of DuPont’s internal documents regarding PFOA, revealing that DuPont had privately conducted, acknowledged, or cited studies as early as 1961 which showed the chemical’s negative health effects. A 2016 New York Times article by Nathaniel Rich explains that both DuPont and 3M, who also manufactured the chemical, knew by 1981 that several cancers had become remarkably common in Teflon plant workers and their children.

Of seven children born to factory workers, two had eye defects. In 1984, DuPont knew PFOA permeated the local water supply. The list goes on.

Today, 3M, DuPont, and other companies are turning away from the highly profitable production of PFAS after decades of footdragging and stock-salvaging euphemisms.

The US government and other global organizations have initiatives and legislation curbing or banning the use of a few PFAS, though these aren’t typically legally binding.

SEC filings tell us that Teflon alone carries over a billion dollars in market value for DuPont, making obvious the reason behind companies’ resistance to a committed phase out.

Why should we care, though? Aren’t corporations always honest, or hasn’t the government always quickly and fairly regulated those corporations that provoke public health crises? Tobacco and opioids are other clear examples of the US government’s failure to manage similar situations. The difference with PFAS, however, is in the name: they are ‘forever’ chemicals. The BBC reported in 2022 that PFAS levels in rainwater around the globe exceed safe levels. People around the globe are now at growing risk of the many adverse health effects that PFAS pose.

A single lawsuit – Tennant v DuPont – arguably sparked the flame under corporations

to admit to and address the health and environmental issues associated with PFAS. Continued legal pressure and publicity has led 3M to dedicate more than a tenth of its most recent 150-page shareholder report to the dangers that ongoing PFAS litigation poses to its profits. Corporate greed, environmental destruction, and global public health are all massively complicated topics that no one person can wholly solve, but through

and action, always possible.

education progress is

Sports

5

Men’s Soccer Looks to Continue Solid Start as A-10 Play Heats up VICTOR TAYLOR ‘24 (HE/HIM) SPORTS EDITOR

D

avidson Men’s Soccer has had a turbulent few years, finishing 7th and 11th in the past two years, respectively. The league’s coaches evidently felt that the team would have a similar year, as the ‘Cats were tipped to finish 9th in the Atlantic 10 this season. However, so far, that’s not looking to be the case. A surprisingly positive season has led to them starting 6-2-1, with a 2-1 record in A-10 play. With five matches to go, a few more impressive displays could make this year’s group the best finishing Davidson team since 2018.

Non-conference play included a tie with number 18 Wake Forest and a win on the road against RV UNC Greensboro. A stout defensive gameplan from the ‘Cats have led to five clean sheets out of nine matches total, but they have shown how to score too. Vincent Bennage ‘25 is the primary offensive contributor, scoring five goals and assisting on three others. With the ‘Cats scoring 16 goals in total on the season, Bennange’s involvement makes him a dynamic presence as an attacker. Strike partner Denis Krioutchenkov ‘26, a preseason all-conference selection, has also tallied 3 goals and 2 assists to further diversify the team’s attack.

While the stats give credit to the team’s offense, the defense has been rock solid, with a large veteran presence contributing to the steadiness. Seniors Nico Cavallo ‘24 and Trey Gardiner ‘24 have logged over 90% of available minutes on the back line and been essential to the team keeping as many clean sheets as they have against good competition. When opposing teams have been able to get looks on goal, keeper Lou Liedtka ‘24 has been able to man the net with an 82.7% save percentage. After starting the last six games of last season due to Giacomo Piccardo’s ‘23 injury, Liedtka seized the starting job his senior year and has been impressive.

With five games to go, the ‘Cats face a tougher schedule with all five opponents being predicted to finish above them in the polls. They’ll get three of those opponents at home, starting with a key weeknight clash this Wednesday, Oct. 4 against top of the league Duquesne. With a hot start and momentum at their backs, the end of this season will determine what kind of long term trajectory this group is truly on. Davidson plays Duquesne at Alumni Stadium at 7pm.

Vincent Bennage ‘25 dribbling soccer ball. Photo by Tim Cowie

Women’s Soccer Looks to Turn Around Season Despite Rocky Start to Conference Play CAMERON KRAKOWIAK ‘24 (HE/HIM) SPORTS EDITOR

A

fter an impressive 13 win season last year that brought the ‘Cats to one win of an A-10 Championship Bid, the women’s soccer team finds itself navigating a challenging season. In the heart of the Atlantic 10 Conference, Dayton and St. Louis are within the top 50 teams in the nation. With a season record of 3-9-1 and 0-5-1 within the Atlantic 10 Conference, the Wildcats have encountered an uphill struggle in their pursuit of racking up wins.

The team’s recent performance reflects the blows they’ve faced, having suffered five consecutive losses, mostly by not being able to put the ball in the net. A mediocore Fordham defeated them, 1-0 on Oct. 1. On paper it would seem that the ‘Cats would have been able to get one through the goal posts as they out shot Fordham by double, 18-9 overall shots and 9-5 on shots on goal.

Before facing Fordham, the ‘Cats faced University of Rhode Island in the Ocean state; Davidson managed to muster nine shots compared to Rhode Island’s eight on goal during that game, but their efforts went unrewarded, leaving them still in search of a victory in conference play. Glaringly overall, the Wildcats have been plagued by a troubling statistic: they’ve been outscored by their opponents 11-0 in their last five matches.

Last year, the ‘Cats scored an average of 1.4 goals per game, this year a staggering drop off as they only have been able to put across .615 per game. As the Wildcats strive to turn their fortunes around, they face the stark reality of being ranked third from the bottom in goal per game average within the A-10, while they have the sixth-highest average of goals allowed, standing at 1.38.

In the standings, Davidson finds itself tied with George Washington, sharing a similar winloss record with George Mason and Richmond as well. However, it is not completely out of the question that the ‘Cats go on a run the rest of the year. The ‘Cats last season went on a 6-0-3 run in their final 9 outings last year. With four games remaining the ‘Cats have a tough task ahead if they want to make the A-10 tournament, however it does not seem entirely out of the question as three out of the next four opponents they face are under .500. The’Cats challenge Loyola

Standings Update

Women’s Soccer Huddle. Photo by Tim Cowie Chicago this Saturday at Alumni Stadium.

Despite these formidable challenges, the Davidson Women’s Soccer team remains determined and resilient. As they look ahead to the rest of the season, they seek to overcome adversity, build on their strengths, and rewrite the narrative of their 2023 campaign.

Pioneer Men’s Football Conference Standings Team Butler Davidson ST. Thomas Drake Marist San Diego Presbyterian Valparaiso Dayton Morehead State Stetson

W

L

PCT STRK

2 2 2 1 2 1 0 0 0 0 0

0 0 0 0 1 1 1 1 2 2 2

1.0 1.0 1.0 1.0 1.0 .5 0 0 0 0 0

W2

W2 W2 W1 W2 L1 L1 L1 L2 L2 L2

A-10 Conference Women’s F-Hockey Conference Standings Team St. Joseph’s VCU La Salle Richmond UMass Lock Haven Davidson St. L ouis

W

L

PCT STRK

3 2 2 2 2 1 0 0

0 1 1 1 1 2 3 3

1.0 .67 .67 .67 .67 .33 0 0

W3

W2 W2 L1 W1 L1 L2 L3

Arts and Entertainment 6 Artwork at Nummit - Interviewing Annelise Hawgood CATE GOODIN ‘26 SHE/HER

W

alking into Nummit is scary enough for a firstyear; can you imagine walking in to sell your art? Annelise Hawgood can! Though she has only been on campus for a little over a month, Hawgood has already carved out her own space at Davidson. The first-year from Cincinnati, Ohio, sat down to talk with me about her passion for art and to give some insight into those new flower paintings you might have seen up on the walls at Nummit.

Hawgood only started gauche, the paint medium she uses for her paintings, a year ago, but her relationship with art has been lifelong. She explains that though she did not take many art classes in highschool, her mom majored in Art History: “my mom used to take my twin and I to the local art museum every weekend… she always wanted us to know about art.” With that foundation, art has become a “meditative” experience.

Hawgood started watercolor before she forayed into gauche, a medium like mixture between acrylic and watercolor paint. She switched after she “saw a lot of gauche videos on Instagram.”

She loves its vibrant colors and its elements of “transparency and opaqueness” that lend to the flower compositions up at Nummit.

Following in her mother’s footsteps, Hawgood already knows she wants to pursue Art History. Along with taking a class in that department, she has started Basic Painting, her first formal experience with studio art. Knowing how hard it is to get into studio classes, Hawgood recognized its importance for her schedule and put it at the top of her WebTree. It provides a balance to her gauche pieces, as in the class they are using oil paints. Though it is a medium she had never worked with before, Hawgood can already see the benefit of learning oils and using gauche outside of class, “they definitely help each

other.” No matter the material, she recognizes there’s really a “different manner of interpreting” the subject one’s painting.

The flower paintings started when she “brought some posters for [her] room that [she] had done a week before” move-in.

Some friends saw them and asked for commissions, then a few more, and suddenly Hawgood saw a market for what she originally just did as a hobby.

To further this pursuit, Hawgood followed up on an observation she saw when she worked in Nummit: “I saw those posters hanging on the wall of people wearing masks and, while they were cute, I imagined they could be updated with something else.” So Hawgood reached out to Cali Koerner the manager for student activities at Nummit, and the rest is history. Soon Hawgood had her paintings up all over the walls, but the number is shrinking as more and more sell. So far Hawgood has sold seven personal commissions and ten flower posters, some thanks to the visibility at Nummit.

She has merged the hobby with service, as well. She explained that “about half of the profits are going to Cincinnati Children’s hospital… it is just an amazing place.” She really appreciates its strength in pediatric oncology and is grateful to donate proceeds towards this cause, particularly because “September is childhood cancer awareness month.” So while this mini art gallery in Nummit is only a September event, Hawgood already has plans for the future. In January she will be showing her work at a local cafe in her hometown, and it would not be a surprise if more of her work pops up around campus.

Hawgood has loved meeting new people through this endeavor, and she says, “I’m completely honored when someone tells me they saw my art.” She also praised the Davidson community: “It feels really good to be surrounded by a community that really cares about art.” In final words of advice for artists or entrepreneurs, Hawgood commented, “Don’t hesitate. There’s a crowd of people out there who are interested in your art and they can’t wait to see it.” But in

typical first year fashion caveated, “I’m just a freshman!” Well, we can’t wait to see what she’ll do in the next four years.

Annelise Hawgood posing with her paintings. Photo by Katherine Marshall

Cate Goodin 2026 (she/her) is an English and Art History major from McLean, VA. She can be reached for comment at cagoodin@davidson.edu

Intoducing DACE: Student Craft Space on Campus BROWN PAYNE ‘24 HE/HIM

I

n the Davidson Arts and Creative Engagement (DACE) studio in the basement of Chambers, creativity is always flowing. Through programs, grants, or just crafting, DACE is hoping to facilitate your creative and plans. The opportunities DACE offers to students are virtually endless, but many may not know about them. DACE hosts events, puts on workshops, and assists students getting in touch with their creative side. Whether you want to paint, dance, or craft, DACE is here to integrate arts into the daily lives of all students, faculty, and staff.

Generously supported by the Friends of the Arts Fund, the AIR and Spike! grants are two different types of grants that DACE offers to students. The AIR grant, which stands for Artistic Independent Research Grant, supports students with a faculty advisor from any department in an art-based independent study.

My own experience with DACE started last year, when I wanted to do an independent study about Black Mountain College. Adam Saacke ‘24 and I applied for and recieved an AIR grant to cover the costs of materials and travel to Black Mountain, North Carolina to learn about the college that existed there from 1933 to 1957.

Another opportunity is the Spike! Grant, which centers around student-driven artistic performance endeavors. It can be any art genre including, but not limited to theater, film, music, dance, visual art, spoken word, and creative writing. Allen Rigby ‘14, now a Major Gifts Officer for Davidson College, was one of the first recipients of a Spike! Grant at Davidson College.

He and a couple of other students directed one act musical written by Hunter Bell with music and lyrics by Jeff Bowen.

Performed at the newly opened Summit Outpost in the 201314 school year, Rigby and his peers were able to try out new roles outside of the structures of the theater department.

“The grant allowed us to take on a different level of creative ownership and license than what is possible in the classroom or in an official production put on by the department.”

Rigby also spoke to the exposure of putting on a show.

“It also provided us an opportunity to gain experience with the full cycle of producing a show, from casting and choreography to marketing and booking spaces for rehearsal.”

Through Spike! Grants, DACE hopes to create opportunities for students which can foster and elevate their performing,

Students lead a crafting workshop at the Davidson Arts and Creative Engagement studio. Photo by Brown Payne artistic learning, and creativity.

Apart from grants, DACE is also the perfect place to get creative. Looking to get creative with your hands? The DACE Studio in the basement of the North-end of Chambers is a perfect place to start crafting. DACE has everything that one could need to get started on a craft project, including sewing machines, a knitting machine, yarn and string, embroidery tools, paints, coloring utensils, paper, and canvas. Shreya Sharma ‘24, a DACE program manager, has high praise to give the DACE studio, or the DACE Space as it is known.

“The first time I ever heard about the DACE studio was from my roommate Nora who burst into our room one afternoon and exclaimed that there was a huge, awesome room in the basement of chambers with three sewing machines, paints and canvases, and all the craft supplies you could dream of!”

Sharma said. “It was a moment of pure joy and excitement that I’ve seen replicated numerous times as people discover the studio for the first time. It’s a magical place, people always leave it happier and lighter than when they first came in.”

The workshops offered this semester include crocheting, embroidery, cyanotype printing, and many more. DACE is open during weekdays from 9:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. and from 7:00 p.m. to 10:00 p.m. on Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday.

Bringing the new DACE studio into the basement of Chambers just this past January, Director of DACE Sherry Nelson envisions the studio as a place for wellness and creativity for all students.

“It is important for students to have a creative place and access to materials for themselves that is not in an academic setting,” Nelson said. “Especially after the worst parts of Covid, we’re hoping to foster a creative community for all students.”

Nelson has enjoyed watching students take advantage of the space.

“We love seeing new students coming in to create, sew, and make art daily,” Nelson said. “It’s been so much fun meeting new people and watching them enjoy the space on a regular basis.”

Stay tuned for events and programming on WildcatSync or go to davidson.edu/offices-and-services/arts-creative-engagement to find out more about DACE. Brown Payne 2024 (he/him) is an Art History major from Nashville, TN. He can be reached for comment at brpayne@ davidson.edu

Living Davidson

7

Crossword Spread The 63-Across Crosswords by Victor Fleming ‘73

Across

1 The class of 2024’s ___ Goldfarb 5 Food measured by alarms 10 Bk. before Job 14 Aluminum sheet 15 Did an usher’s job 16 Houston baseball pro, slangily 17 Solitude seekers 19 Reagan Era Surgeon General C. Everett ___ 20 “Classified” listings 21 Wile E. Coyote’s vendor 22 Almost-perfect grade 24 Shaming tongue clucks 26 Tom Clark specialty 27 Photo ___ 28 Barn dances 31 Baseball’s ___ Ruth 34 Sociology Professor ___ Kaufman 35 Unreturnable serve 36 ___ House (on-campus home focusing on sustainable lifestyles) 37 Certain streets, casually 39 Left Coast bag tag abbr.

40 English Professor ___ Fox 41 Colonel and general 42 “Hamlet” or “Macbeth” 43 Rom-com plot point 45 ASCAP competitor 47 “___ the big deal?!”

48 Debonair 52 1996 best-seller for “grammarphobes” 54 “How are you?” reply 56 Computer’s core, briefly 57 “___ Old Cow Hand” (Johnny Mercer song) 58 Certain employee assembling products 61 Meadow bird 62 Big East sch.

63 Word spread in 17-, 37- & 58-Across and 11- & 33-Down 64 Prohibition proponents 65 Common stuff?

66 2nd in command

Down

1 Alias of D sharp 2 Dispositions

3 Belarus capital 4 Pub draught

5 Time keepers 6 Captain’s place

7 “... you were coming, ___ baked a cake” 8 Tell a whopper 9 Jealous descriptor

10 Igloo dweller 11 Wire fence alternative

12 Pants, slangily

13 Bounces like a bunny 18 Insect with a stinger

23 Manners 25 Golf club part 26 Some Prado hangings 28 Actor Ethan

29 “Elite Eight” org.

30 Alluringly attractive

31 Ray of light 32 Clearasil target

33 Drained of all energy 34 Chaps

37 Aquatic killers 38 Captain Nemo’s submarine 42 Water ___ (Teledyne toothbrush brand) 44 Cogitates 45 “Fountain of Sorrow” singer-songwriter Jackson ___ 46 Blue-gray shark 49 Clinton advisor Harold 50 Emulates Etna 51 “Back Street” novelist Fannie 52 Desolate area, with “the” 53 Poet Khayyám 54 A part of 55 Clothing store department 59 Cooling cubes 60 Biology class initials

TYPE WRITING? KEY 7 6 3 % $ 5 $ . * , 6 7 $ ' 2 5 ( $ : + 2 $ 3 ( 6 7 2 5 < ' , & . ( 1 6 , $ 1 & / , 1 * % < 5 2 1 , & 8 5 , $ + ' 1 $ + ( $ 5 7 $ / ( & ( 0 ( ( 5 2 8 6 7 , 0 $ & 7 6 $ 5 6 * 3 6 ( 3 2 1 < 0 2 8 6 1 2 $ + 6 & 2 : 6 % ( ' $ / $ 1 / $ * 6 + 2 3 7 2 1 2 1 ( 7 7 $ 5 2 7 $ 7 ( % ( 6 2 6 ' $ 1 7 ( $ 1 $ / % $ . $ ) . $ ( 6 4 8 ( ( / / ( 1 2 8 5 6 * 2 $ ' 1 6 < 1 & ( ) 7 2 7 5 $

COMMONS THUS FAR

T ENTER SPOOKY SEASON DAVID SOWINSKI (HE/THEY) ‘25 Let the nigh-insufferable obsession with all things Halloween commence! If you did not know that spooky season belongs to the queers, now you know.

This week we direct your attention to the silver screen…

The Scream franchise has not let up its grip on queer horror culture. Scream VI was released earlier this year to a great reception. Following the huge success of Netflix’s Wednesday last year, Jenna Ortega has set herself up as our latest scream queen; and a plus: she has used her platform to advocate LGBTQ+ rights.

If you find your appetite for Ghostface yet unsated, never fear! Development of a seventh Scream film was announced in August, and it will be the first in the series to have a gay director, Christopher Landon.

January saw a couple of horror films released, and now might be the time to revisit them. Fans of Mia Goth, who sat on the horror throne last year with her performances in Pearl and X, can see her again in Infinity Pool. For viewers apprehensive of horror

films’ usual R-rating, M3GAN might be for you.

Mike Flanagan is back this October with an adaptation of Edgar Allan Poe’s The Fall of the House of Usher, on Netflix. Stars including Carla Gugino and Kate Siegel will return for the series, so if you enjoyed them in projects like The Haunting of Hill House and Midnight Mass, definitely check out Flanagan’s latest.

That’s all for now! This month, be sure to swing by Spirit Halloween, gorge yourself on candy corn, glue your eyes to some goosebump-y entertainment, and haunt your straight friends. Twenty-seven days and counting until the (un)holiest day of the year!

PHIL GREENWOOD ‘26

his being the 5th week of classes, I think the review that would best serve the student body is perhaps a summative take on Commons and its fall 2023 performance thus far. Starting with the real contentious issues: the saga of the Herbs and Spices has continued well into this season. At first, we thought we had lost the longappreciated curries, fried veggies, and jasmine rice, but just about a week ago, the original Herbs and Spices has returned. The only remaining concern here is whether or not the relatively popular falafel bar will still have a place at Commons - I do hope so. As far as chef expressions goes, it is the same old same old. Big hitters like lasagna and chicken/eggplant parm have appeared with some regularity.

I think it is also accurate to say that the “make your own…” bar has been nachos or tacos disproportionately, leaving many to wonder if the wellliked penne/tortellini bar is a thing of the past. The addition of BBQ chicken to the grille area is definitely a victory, especially when sided with those Commons fries which have been noticeably more crispy, fluffy, and well seasoned than last

year’s disappointment. New salad bar additions of fresh pineapple, strawberries, blueberries, and even some watermelon at the very start of the year are certainly an upgrade.

I have some questions about the addition of grape Gatorade to the beverage selection but so long as they keep the original opinions, all is well.

Finally: as far as desserts go, nothing crazy new or exciting, pretty reliable as usual. Overall, despite some minor adaptations and improvements, Commons has remained largely unchanged. It is what it is, and I still stand by the assertion that no matter how picky you are, there is always something each patron is at least willing to eat even if it is off of a flimsy piece of cardboard.

The

Yowl

Irreverent student journalism since 2004. Castigat Ridendo Mores.

inside

yowl.com/thxforwritingthisweek

PCC President Holds Timely Warning: FirstAnti-Hazing Meeting Year Run Over By Scooter on Patterson Court with Campus Mosquitoes Page Deet Organization Put on Probation Page Free Tuition

October 04, 2023

Crazy Underground Mixer Hosted by Campus Groundhogs Shut Down By Campo Page Free Dirt

Finger Food: ENV Majors Pledge to Use ‘The Silverware G*d Gave Them’ Until Commons Ends Disposable Cutlery Use

I

n their newest form of performative activism, ENV majors decided last week to stage a boycott based around Commons’s use of disposable cutlery and dishes. Students concerned about increased waste decided to take matters into their own hands.

The students participating in the protest refused to accept plastic cutlery and plates when passing through the lines for food. Thankfully, the buns provided from the weekly special “Vail Doghouse” and the pita accompanying Artisan Flats allowed for minimal mess. However, when entering the herbs and spices line, the ENV majors in question simply held open their palms for a scoop of the sought-after butter chicken and pakora. When asked for comment, a Commons worker remarked: “it was getting really handsy...something we as an eating establishment try to avoid.”

Not skimping on dessert, Yowl reporters sent to witness the disposable-dish boycott noted that students were also carrying out toffee cookies on their heads, giving a new meaning to “balanced meal.”

Unfortunately, their fingers were not watertight when it came to getting beverages. The ENV and sustainable-adjacent students were spotted dispensing chocolate pea-milk and cheer-wine

directly into their mouths.

After three days with no signs of returning to the usual dishes and silverware the activists were put off and attempted a different technique. “We’re boycotting Commons as a whole,” stated one protester. The students have moved directly to the source of the food: the Davidson College Farm.

“By taking the food at its source, we’re removing fossil fuels from harvest and transportation out of the equation,” one student told us before eating a raw potato straight out of the ground.

The farm workers don’t seem to be fond of this activism, as one told a Yowl reporter that “it’s hard to get my work done when these damn students are sitting around on my plots, shoving carrots down their mouths.”

Not all the ENV majors are equally passionate, however. One of the first students to lead the efforts was recently spotted leaving union with a Mediterranean bowl and plastic SmartWater bottle. When asked to comment, the student told us, “I was honestly just trying to impress the hot vegan chick that sits next to me in class.

Turns out she has a boyfriend, so my activism is over.”

“Put that Blender You Never Use in Your Butt” - Center for Student Health Offers Alternative Ideas for Vibrators

M

any horny students on campus were disappointed this week when the (in)famous vibrator vending machine ran out of stock. For just $12, students had been able to buy the perfect sex partner - one that never talked about their involvement in KSig, didn’t ride scooters across campus, and was silent about their acapella group. Although students are panicking, the Center for Student Health sent out an email listing many alternatives in hopes that “pleasurable activities can resume”. Here were some listed.

1.

2.

3.

4.

The Flu Shot Issue

Math Majors Calculated Your Chances With Your Crush: Results Low Page Statistically Insignifcant

Sociology Majors Predict 90% of First-Years to Breakup With Hometown Boyfriend Over Fall Break Page Fall Break(up)?

Campus Squirrels Now More Athletic Than Athletes, Experts Say

M

any Davidson students have experienced getting cut off by squirrels on the sidewalk, or chased by them on their way to Chambers.

But did you actually know that the tireless rodents could be the future of our men’s athletic programs?

According to a new study completed by the Davidsonians for Squirrel Rights, it has been determined that many campus squirrels are faster than the average athlete. “Since 99% of campus squirrels walk around, and do not own a scooter,” Chris Peacock, local squirrel expert says, “they tend to be incredibly fit and agile.”

Considering the scooter epidemic among athletes has caused a depletion in muscle mass, especially those used in walking, such as the calf, thigh, and hip muscles, some believe the squirrels might be this year’s new recruits.

Joe King, a senior football player with an (included at his request) IQ of 32, says that by recruiting squirrels for his team, we just might be able to beat D2 schools. “By combining the squirrels’ brawn with my brains,” King quotes, “The future of our rodent-powered team is outstanding.”

When asked for his comment on the matter, Doug Hicks replies: “Gopher it.”

Plans to domesticate and train these squirrels are already underway. The new $50 million football stadium already has plans for a Squirrel Unit addition, with obstacles courses, squirrel-sized weight racks, and a miniature sauna for the squirrels. Getting the squirrels adjusted to student life will be

easy, as many of them that hang out around the outdoor tables of Commons are used to hearing the daily gossip about people they’ve never actually talked to, watching students scroll through the 1000 pages of reading they’re assigned each week, and eating mediocre tasting crumbs.

Biology Professor Debra Newsome is delighted about the increased interest in the squirrels on campus. “So many rats have dedicated their lives to science down in the basement of Wall, but seeing those little furry creatures overdose on cocaine and other substances day in and day out gets so tiring. I’m glad we can find new animals to abuse on campus.” Newsome suggested that in the future, their research could expand to other animals on campus, such as the groundhogs who have been recently detained by campus police for hosting underground ragers, or even students who do not meet certain academic thresholds. One social justice warrior, Kimmy Fartgod ‘24, a GSS major, was upset with Newsome’s statement, “students should also be judged on the number of informative Instagram graphics they repost on their story, not just academics.”

The media team has already started editing Hype videos to play on the jumbotron at the big games. They’re asking students to send videos of the squirrels they see around campus showing off their most athletic moves.

If you happen to get a good video, the team asks that you email it to yowl@davidson. edu for a chance for it to be featured on some Davidson media outlets.

Steal the Look: Your 80 Year Old Professor Who Refuses to Retire

“Put the blender you never use in your ass. Yeah, we know you said you were going to go to the gym at 7 am every morning and make a healthy smoothie, but that Nutribullet last saw a fruit when you had that bisexual Nummit barista over for some ‘fun’. Of course, make sure to replace the rotors with something a little bit softer - or don’t. Your body, your choice.”

“Set your phone to vibrate, sit on it, and try to log in to any Davidson application on your computer. The Duo Push notifications will stimulate your sensitive areas better than any person could. If you want some more fun, text some guys in your hall ‘Who should I have on my fantasy football team?’ You’ll be getting dozens of messages per minute!”

“There are free bananas at commons for you to take - I’m sure you see where this is going. Take one at your next meal, and walk over to the Harris Teeter about a mile away and say you need to return the banana because it smells funny. Mention that you don’t have a receipt because your dorm burnt down in a terrible fire after some kid thought that Fireballs got their name because you set them alight and then drink them. Do this around 20 times, and you’ll have enough store credit to buy a vibrator!”

“Get a job on the Davidson landscaping crew, and work hard enough to where they trust you to get on the big riding mower. Once you get situated, drive erratically across the plot of grass, maybe a few first years. The more bumps, the better. You’ll be quivering in delight!”

The email concluded with a reminder to stay safe and always practice safe sex habits. It also mentioned one final alternative - “If you really want to feel what it’s like to be fucked, just look at your

The

Yowl

WRITERS

QUOTE OF THE WEEK

Hugh Jass Joseph Matriarch Never Ever Skink Inker

“It’s 80 pages, I wasn’t going to finish it anyways.”

— Yowl Editor who is more committed to the Yowl than academics

*Not based on any professors at this school, obviously.

AITA for throwing my fingernail clippings into my roommate’s bed?

My roommate snoozes his alarm six times every morning, and it’s so annoying. I’ve told him he needs to stop, but he hasn’t. Out of spite, I’ve started tossing my fingernail clippings into his bed. When he finally found out the other day, he told me I was “gross” and “inconsiderate.” I told him I’d stop when he stops snoozing his alarm, but he thinks I’m disgusting. AITA?

Note: The Yowl is a satirical supplement to The Davidsonian.

Hence, nothing in it should be taken as truth.