Davidsonian
Independent Student Journalism Since 1914
davidsonian.com
March 1, 2023
Volume 121
Issue 15
This week’s Feature brings the inside scoop on how Davidson celebrates Holi
Avo Reid ‘26 examines Davidson’s knowledge and understanding of the Responsibility Code
The Davidson Swim and Dive team performs exceptionally at the A10 conference
The Yowl takes a look at how the Marriage Pact will impact relationships
3 4 5 8 inside
Gabe Adams-Wheatley was born with no arms or legs. He was put up for adoption in Brazil at nine months old, and was adopted by a Mormon American family with 13 children. On Feb. 23, the now social media influencer and advocate for the disabled community delivered a talk at Davidson.
Adams-Wheatley, who identifies as nonbinary and uses he/him pronouns, began discussing his childhood, and the obstacles he faced on his journey to independence. Both Adams-Wheatley’s adoptive parents and siblings pushed him to learn to walk on his own and enjoy activities such as swimming and dancing.
While Adams-Wheatley had a close relationship with his parents, his sexuality caused division between them. At age nineteen, he came out as gay. Although it took time, he was able to maintain his relationship with his parents.
After speaking about his upbringing and family life, Adams-Wheatley went on to discuss his entrance on to social media. His platoform stemmed from his work as a motivational speaker post high school, and he posted his first TikTok in 2019.
Adams-Wheatley persues advocacy through social media, showing the numerous ways he can use makeup products. He posts short video clips and edits to his TikTok and Instagram reels. In addition, he often reposts videos of him performing at dance competitions.
“It’s given me so many opportunities to do things I’d never thought I’d do,” he said.
In 2019, Adams-Wheatley received the opportunity to model at NY Fashion Week, where he met Sarah Todd Hammer ‘24 for the first time. They both walked as models wearing accessible clothing with modifications such as magnets replacing buttons and zippers.
Like Adams-Wheatley, Hammer uses social media as an outlet. She began posting regularly in highschool, and found a community among other influencers.
“Even though disabled people are the largest minority in the world, it feels like such a closeknit community because I know so many names out there through connecting through social media,” Hammer said.
As President of the Davidson Disability Alliance (DDA), Hammer, who was originally paralyzed from the neck down but regained the ability to walk, has been attempting to revamp the club to represent disability as a culture and an identity. This led to her extending an invitation to Adams-Wheatly to come and
speak at Davidson.
“One reason we wanted Gabe to come was to push disability as an identity,” Hammer said.
“The Center for Diversity and Inclusion (CDI) at Davidson does not acknowledge disability as an identity…all of that responsibility is pushed back to the [Academic Access and] Disability [Resources] Office (AADR) in the library.”
The AADR works with the college to ensure that academic resources are accessible to all students, and provides accomidations to students with disabilities. This is in contrast to the CDI, who engages the entire community in diversity equity and inclusion efforts, but specifically targets students of color, LGBTQ+ students, first-generation students and undocumented students.
According to Gabriella Morreale ‘23, outreach coordinator for the DDA, AdamsWheatley could speak to the intersectionality between disabilities and other identifiers as he is a disabled, gay, person of color.
“He is not only limited by his disability but also by his identity,” Morreale said.
Morrealle has hearing loss, a disability that is not always apparent upon first glance.
“With visible disabilities people might first jump on what you can’t do…People see my personality and what I’m able to do first, versus what I’m not able to do,” Morrealle
said.
This is another aspect that adds to AdamsWheatley’s identity as well. His disability is visible and may often be the first thing people notice when they see him.
“It’s something interesting about Gabe, everyone stares at him all the time and he’s used to that,” Hammer said.
Hammer, also explained that it is difficult for her to ask for help at times because she considers her own disability to not necessarily be visible.
“Sometimes I feel awkward asking for help because people might not know why,” she said.
For Hammer, one would have to look closely to see the paralysis in her arms and hands. This is another motivating factor for Hammer in terms of bringing awareness to the disabled community.
While Adams-Wheatley had support growing up from his family, he faced hardships dealing with online hate from the media and bullying in school. He revealed that one of his tactics for regaining confidence is to read positive quotes, one of his favorites being: “Sometimes in life people will pout oil on us to watch us die, and other times they will pour water to watch us grow.”
A7.8 magnitude earthquake struck Turkey and Syria on Feb. 6, 2023, taking the lives of more than 47,000 people with thousands still under the rubble and many more injured. Another earthquake with a magnitude of 6.3 struck the TurkeySyria border region on Feb. 20.
Dr. Yener Ulus, visiting Assistant Professor of Environmental Studies, has family in Turkey who were impacted by the earthquakes.
“I was able to hear from them [my parents] after five or six hours through a very short, 20 second voice message as phones were not working, electric lines were damaged
and communication was cut,” Dr. Ulus said. “After a day, I was able to Facetime them. I’m constantly thinking about them, checking the news, Twitter and social media, calling my relatives and siblings. It’s in my mind all the time.”
Despite his initial “state of shock,” Dr. Ulus continued to hold classes. He was able to do so due to the support he received from his students and colleagues.
“International Student Programs (ISP) and Shelley Rigger, Vice President for Academic Affairs and Dean of Faculty, offered support and directed me to counseling services,” Dr. Ulus said. “They tried to reach me multiple times, not only once. My friends, colleagues and the head of my department here [at
Davidson] emailed me and genuinely asked me if I needed anything.”
Dr. Ulus is also working to contribute to rescue efforts.
“I am using Twitter trying to help people to locate other people under the rubble,” he said. “We get the information [on survivors] and relay that [to rescuers].”
Experiences with the earthquakes differ strongly across members of the international community.
Abigail Ruby ‘25 is Turkish and has friends and family that live in the country.
“A lot of my family is in areas that were heavily affected, and I haven’t heard back from my friends,” Ruby said.
After the first earthquake, Turkish
and Syrian students immediately began collaborating on aid efforts. They contacted the American Turkish Association (ATA) in Charlotte, receiving information on how to assist ATA’s effort’s in collecting and sending relief aid through the Turkish embassies in the United States. They decided to hold a donation drive outside Union, with the support of the Davidson International Association (DIA). Both the DIA and ISP circulated emails, posted on social media, had individual students make announcements in classes and sent emails to many departments, offices and organizations. On Feb. 18, 26 students volunteered at the
In late February of 2022, Russia began a full-scale invasion of Ukraine. A year later, the war is raging on, and Ukraine is not going anywhere.
A little over a year ago, expectations for the outcome of this invasion were very different.
Dr. Amanda Ewington, professor of Russian studies, explains that “Putin was largely counting on not much reaction from the West, and not particularly unified Western reaction.” Since the invasion, after months of struggle and significant ceding of land to Russia in September, Ukraine emerged with an unexpected push in the northeastern Kharkiv region. This offensive forced Russia out of many long-held areas. The element of surprise was key in allowing Ukraine to triumph over a larger opponent, but so was the instability of Russian forces.
Dr. Besir Ceka, professor of political
science, expanded on the power dynamic: “we have learned… that Russia is actually not as powerful militarily as we have thought. So we learned through their colossal failures on the battlefield, that the state of their army is not quite where they thought, and I think the Russians themselves were shocked at how incompetent and in some ways how poorly their army has been doing.”
In November, Russia pulled out from Kherson in an unexpected show of weakness. Much of the shifting dynamics are due to increased support from the West, which as indicated by President Joe Biden’s February visit to Kyiv, only appears to be growing.
Due to the war, life has been fundamentally and irreparably altered for all Ukrainians.
According to Dr. Ewington, “what’s [changed] most significantly is that the entire Ukrainian nation is under threat of bombing and destruction…any moment, people in their homes, it doesn’t matter where you are in Ukraine, can have a missile come down on
their house. And millions of Ukrainians have had to leave the country.”
According to the UN, at least 7,000 Ukrainian civilians have been killed, though the number is likely much higher.
Additionally, other humanitarian violations are occurring. Dr. Ewington spoke about a recent report, which revealed thousands of Ukrainian children have been taken by Russia under the guise of “reeducation,” saying that “Russia is trying to frame this as a humanitarian thing, and that they’re saving these children.” But, she says, this is an obfuscation of the truth, which is much more sinister–so much that “the case that is being made for understanding what Russia is doing as an attempted genocide is building.”
Speaking on the geopolitical implications of the war, Dr. Ceka discussed the reality of NATO going forward, saying “NATO has gotten a renewed purpose. This conflict, I think, has provided the Western democratic countries with a unified purpose to push back
against authoritarianism more generally, but especially on the military front … certainly a far more robust response than Putin expected. So the West has been unified militarily.”
Dr. Ceka emphasized that “the future of the world order is being decided on this war. And that’s why you have such a deep commitment on the side of the US and other countries to help Ukraine basically, to make it clear to potential aggressors in the future, that wars of conquest are no longer okay. If you attack democracies, there will be a vigorous response by the collective West… So this conflict matters, this war matters. It’s not just happening in another place in the world with not much significance for us. It does affect our lives and will likely affect them in the future.”
Davidson students interested in showing support for Ukraine can contact Dr. Ewington (amewington@davidson.edu) for opportunities to support refugees in the area, or to do humanitarian work abroad.
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Turkish Americans in Charlotte collection center to help sort donations.
“We had constant communication with ISP during the whole process,” said Turkish student Idil Ira’26.
However, Ira found the student response to the donation drives to be minimal.
“First day at the donation drive almost no one stopped, people would walk around us,” Ira said.
According to Ira, the table mainly attracted ISP staff, host families to international students, professors and other international students.
As a whole, Ira was disappointed in the lack of support provided by the Davidson community.
“In the first week no other Davidson office [aside from ISP/DIA] reached out to us. When
we were organizing we had to reach out to everyone. It made us feel excluded,” says Idil.
On Feb. 22 President Doug Hicks sent an email to the entire student body thanking those who volunteered in Charlotte, and sharing a message of gratitude from Emre Ergungo, president of the ATA.
“This example of your compassion and generosity is one of many acts that Davidson students, staff, and faculty undertake on campus and in the local community,” Hicks wrote. “In sharing a word of appreciation for this action, please hear my gratitude more broadly for this community’s care.”
This was the first campus-wide communication regarding the earthquakes in Turkey and Syria, and some students felt as though it came too late. Ira “appreciated” the sentiment, but pointed to a disconnect between her relationship to the earthquakes and that of American students, and others without
connections of Turkey or Syria.
“There are cities that don’t exist anymore,” Ira said.“That phrasing of ‘It’s great that your family is okay’ amplifies the survivor’s guilt when you are away from home.”
In an attempt to provide support for those impacted by the earthquakes in Turkey and Syria, the ISP office contacted individuals and host families. The Center for Student Health and Wellbeing and the Chaplain’s Office offered counseling.
“While we understand the desire for institutional expression of supportive thoughts, the College often refrains from public comment out of concern for compromising the privacy of individuals or putting an undue spotlight and burden on a small number of students on campus,” Director of Media Relations Jay Pfeifer said in an email on behalf of the College. “Our aim is to talk about what we do, to show how the Davidson community
is taking action to help.”
Maia Ferreyra ‘26 discussed the inability of many American students to relate to those impacted by the earthquakes.
“I feel like as Americans, we don’t really see problems like this affect us,” Ferreyra said. “We like to think that after one day, everything’s fine, because we don’t really know what it’s like, I don’t want to speak for everyone, but most Americans don’t know what it’s like to live in not a perfect place.”
Iasamin Hatem ’26 could relate to Ira and Ferreya.
“People who are not international care little about the problems that happen outside the United States,” Hatem said. “I don’t have an immediate support system in terms of identity. I felt helpless, overwhelmed and anxious.”
Every March, bright colored powder covers the bodies of those participating in the ancient Hindu tradition of the Holi celebration. On March 18th, Davidson’s South Asian Student Association (SASA) will be hosting its annual Holi celebration.
Holi marks the end of winter, and the arrival of spring. During the celebration. participants throw colored powder and water at each other to honor the joy of the new season.
Holi was first celebrated at Davidson in 2007. Organized by the Interfaith Fellowship (now known as Better Together) and the Curry Club (now known as SASA), a small number of students gathered on Patterson Court to engage in the festivities of Holi — throwing the colored powder and spreading joy. However, the style of celebration varies across communities.
SASA President Kwahish Sharma ‘24 was born in New Delhi and raised in the United States.
“Traditionally on the night of Holi, there’s a huge bonfire and a pyre, [...] [and] the next day, you play with colors [...] and you make everyone as colorful as the spring that you hope to come.”
Kala Thapa ‘25, SASA Vice President, is from Nepal. In her hometown, women light up and walk around a large stick, praying over it as a means of “burning away the old year.”
Sahana Athreya ‘25, was born in the United States but moved to Bangalore, India when she was eight. She recounted during Holi her entire apartment complex would come together and engage in the festivities, with food trucks, music, and tables full of colored powder packets.
Athreya emphasized the “chaos” of the celebration, saying that “there’s no escaping—it doesn’t matter if you’re just walking to [...] the grocery store, you cannot escape without having color all over you.”
The excitement of Holi lingers in the days following the celebration.
“It’s so nice going to school the next day, because everyone [...] has a patch of green on their ears or under their eyes, and it’s really funny,” Athreya said.
Sharma, Thapa, and Athreya all highlighted the unifying nature of Holi. Especially at Davidson, where the Hindu religion is a minority, Holi presents an opportunity for people of all different faiths and backgrounds to come together and celebrate.
“At the end of the day it is a festival of happiness and light and color, and it’s something that we can share with everyone,” Sharma said.
College Chaplain, Rob Spach ‘84, explained how celebrating
Holi at Davidson has given him the opportunity to interact with many students across all different faiths and traditions, which has aligned with his philosophy of having “a sense of reverence for the reverence of others.”
Spach referenced Davidson’s liberal arts identity in discussing the importance of such cross-cultural involvements.
“Students are going to graduate from here, and they’re gonna go into a very pluralistic world,” Spach said. “And so to be able to interact with people in many traditions, and get to know them as friends and have fun with them, and honor things that they care about, [...] it prepares you all the better to be [...] a person who is thoughtful, and [considerate] about that dimension of a variety of people’s lives.”
While all students are welcome at the Davidson Holi celebration, SASA aims to leave an impact beyond simply partaking in the festivities.
“Anyone who comes to [celebrate] should [...] come with an open mind to learn about a different culture.” Athreya said.
In an effort to spread awareness, SASA will be providing more background information in advance of this year’s celebration, as well as during their monthly Chai Chats.
As one of the first Holi celebrations at Davidson following the pandemic, students of any background are highly encouraged to attend and participate in the festivities.
“[Holi is] about inclusivity,” Sharma said.
BEGINNING ON FRIDAY, MARCH 3RD
Leaving for Spring Break
March 3rd
March 4th
March 5th
Returning from Spring Break
March 10th
March 11th
March 12th
We hope your finals season is going well! SGA is excited to announce this year’s shuttle service to and from the CLT airport for spring break. There are 9 spaces per van with luggage, so we’ll be offering rides on a first-come-first-serve basis using the signup sheet below. Due to high demand, we are also only able to offer limited time slots for the Friday and Saturday rides to the airport— we apologize for any inconvenience.
I, f or one, have no idea. But I have only been at Davidson for six months, so who knows, maybe I live under an administrative rock. So I asked around, and from sophomores, juniors, and seniors, I, again and again, heard resounding no’s. I looked it up. I was alarmed.
I know what the Honor Code is—in my first week at Davidson, its merits and consequences were preached to me by my OTM leader, then by a representative of the Honor Council, then by President Hicks, who drove his point home with Bentham and Rousseau. It is, I was told, the central governing document from which all Davidson’s ideology and expectations flow, our commandments from Mount Sinai. It is so important that the paper I signed, affirming that I had read and understood it, is hanging on the wall of the most central building on campus and will be until I graduate. So monumental a treaty that angels of knowledge (or whatever those things on the roof of Chambers are) watch over it day and fluorescently illuminated night. I assumed, as I believe much of this campus does, that included in the Honor Code are both grand sweeping ideological decrees (stuff of thou-shalt-not-lie-cheat-orsteal tier heft) and rules which govern dayto-day campus life. It actually only consists of three short paragraphs, two of which flow from the principally substantive first: Each Davidson student is honor bound to refrain from stealing, lying about College business, and cheating on academic work.
Stealing is the intentional taking of any property without right or permission. Lying is intentional misrepresentation of any form. Cheating is any practice, method, or assistance, whether explicitly forbidden or unmentioned, that involves any degree of dishonesty, fraud, or deceit. Cheating includes plagiarism, which is representing another’s ideas or words as one’s own.
Besides begging for some pre-law student to turn it into a rollercoaster of loopholes, the Honor Code is wholly separate from the prosaic rules which govern each student at Davidson’s everyday life. Those rules are mostly contained in the Responsibility Code, which I heard of for the first time last week. The Responsibility Code is a governing contract, which we, as students, are held to with the same ardent fervor with which we are held to the Honor Code—just sans lectures, ceremony, signing, or really any notification of any sort. My alarm is not because of anything radical in the Responsibility Code I had not heard before; most of it is just common sense: “Possession and consumption of alcoholic beverages by anyone under twenty-one years of age is forbidden by the State of North Carolina.” “...[S]tudents will not engage in any form of activity which intentionally or recklessly results in physical injury…” “ Every student residing in college housing has the right to exclude at any time anyone other than their roommate(s) from their room.” I am alarmed because, like any social contract, I was bound to it the moment
I stepped onto campus as an enrolled student and was for six months totally unaware of its existence. I may be the anomaly here, and after this article I might receive a flood of emails about how I exist on my own plane of imbecility and ignorance for not knowing. But as far as I know, I am not. It passes under the name of North Carolina law and common sense, which is perfectly reasonable, but a binding code is binding and those bound by it should be at least nominally aware of its existence. I believe Davidson has a responsibility to make its students aware of the rules that govern its students, a responsibility which, as far as the Honor Code goes, they satisfy with flying colors. The Responsibility Code, albeit less flowery and driven by ideology, deserves the same attention—we deserve that attention, if not for the sake of our adherence to it, then for the sake of the idea of a social contract in general. President Hicks made the same point in his address at the signing ceremony—a social contract (Rousseau’s, in Hicks’ example) can only be adhered to with the knowledge and consent of its social populace. Otherwise, it is illegitimate, or tyrannical, or both. The Responsibility Code poses no grand tyranny, but we are the victims of an ideological glut, caught in the chasm between theory and practice. Signing the Honor Code is not an empty act because it actualizes this principle, so often ignored in the actual political realms in which Rousseau hoped to be honored. If not at a liberal arts college, where else are the -
While Russia’s invasion of the Crimean Peninsula was alarming to many, it was not at all that surprising. Crimea is historically Russian, dating back to the days of Peter the Great, who conquered the region to ensure that Russia had a warm water port. It remained Russian until 1954, when Soviet Leader Nikita Kruschev transferred it to the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics. At this point, he believed that the Soviet Union would be eternally united, so it was a purely symbolic gesture aimed to please Kruschev’s native Ukraine. Not only were the two politically united, but also, thanks to centuries of Russian rule, the eastern regions of Ukraine had become ethically Russian. Even the name “Ukraine” roughly means “borderlands” in Russian. When the Soviet Union collapsed, however, Russia lost Crimea along with the essential port of Sevastopol, and now had to work out an international agreement to even use the facility for its navy. As long as there was a pro-Russian leader to negotiate with, Russia more or less had a guarantee that it could lease the port for as long as it needed.
That guarantee changed in 2004, when protesters successfully challenged the election of Viktor Yanukovych and elected their own pro-Western government. In the following six years, the Russian government fought the Ukrainian government on numerous political issues, from Ukraine joining NATO to the yearly gas transport dispute. In 2010, when Viktor Yanukoych was surprisingly reelected, he and then-president of Russia, Demitry Medvedev, worked out a number of pro-Russia agreements, most notably one that extended the Russian lease on Sevastopol until 2042. Although the Russian government has only implied as much, I believe that the Putin administration felt that the Ukrainian revolt threatens that agreement—at best, the new Ukrainian government would declare the old agreement null and void and demand a renegotiation; at worst, Ukrainian protestors might try to oust Russia from its port all together. This explanation does not justify Russia’s actions, but it does give some reason to the invasion beyond pure aggression. With that in mind, I doubt that Russia has the intention to annex all of Ukraine, and it certainly does not plan to start World War III by invading Poland or the Baltic countries.
On March 16 [2014], 95% of Crimean voters elected to secede from Ukraine and rejoin Russia. This vote was not particularly surprising, given Crimea’s ethnic and historical ties to Russia, but it leaves both Russia and the West in an odd situation. Although they will most likely vote to do so,
the Russian Duma (parliament) has yet to accept Crimea into the Russian Federation, and the Obama administration has already asserted that they will not recognize the March 16 referendum or Russia’s decision. Even with that pledge, neither America nor its allies can realistically stop Russia from annexing Crimea if it chooses to.
Moreover, the current dispute is part of larger ideological tensions that few Americans think about. Just as we are aware that we “won” the Cold War, the Putin administration is aware that it “lost” the Cold War. Overnight, Russia went from a world power to a radically impoverished and insecure state, which most importantly lost its global influence. To the Putin administration, Russia needs to gain that influence back, starting at the regional level. If Russia is going to have international power anywhere, it needs to start with the former Soviet states. Ukraine is an especially important country to Russia, given the number of ethnic Russians that still live there. This belief has been reflected in official
ory and practice to be wedded?
There is no Respon - sibility Code signing. The Responsibility Council is frankensteined from faculty and “randomly chosen” (I cite Davidson’s website) students pulled from the Honor Council. I am not advocating for the creation of either of these, but I am advocating for wider education about the Responsibility Code and its contents. Even if just an email that might end up buried in 1,927 Outlook inboxes (I checked—I have no such email), the College will have done its perhaps abstract, but nevertheless relevant, civic duty. The important thing is the email’s existence. It might end up between a Moodle notification and a Door Dash receipt, but at least a valuable olive branch will have been extended, a helping hand on the other end of it.
Avedis Reid ‘26 (he/him) is a Linguisitcs major from McLean, Virginia. He regularly reads administrative emails. He can be reached at avreid@davidson.edu.
Russian foreign policy since 2008. Furthermore, while some Americans may wonder why Russia has to be so antagonistic, the Russian government sees most negotiations with America as inherently unequal and therefore unfair to Russia. The Russian invasion of Crimea could easily be seen as one in a series of events—following Snowden, Syria, and Sochi—for Russia to regain its global influence and show America that it is not as powerful as it would like to think. Right now, all America can do is condemn Russia’s actions, but there is no reason why Putin feels like he has to listen.
James Mersol ‘14 majored in Politcal Science at Davidson. He currently serves as the Publications Manager at the Center for Strategic and Budgetary Assesments.
On February 15, Davidson’s Men and Women Swimming and Diving teams kicked off the Atlantic-10 conference championship meet, a four-day series of competitions in Geneva, Ohio. The team had been working their whole season towards this event, and the group was ready to give it their best shot and see how well they could place.
The ‘Cats put their preparation on display immediately. Leah Sandock ‘26, Abby Francis ‘23, Shelby Stanley ‘23, and Martha Tripsa ‘24 set a new program record in the 200 medley, relay (the first event of the competition), posting an impressive time of 1:40.47. Dylan Felt ‘26 stole the show on day two, setting Davidson’s record in the 500 freestyle preliminaries with a 4:23.09 time, only to be outdone in the finals — by himself, improving to 4:20.02 and winning the A-10 crown in the process. Felt’s work was not yet finished, though. Ian Brann ‘24, Guil Ware ‘25, and Ben McClain ‘25 joined him in setting the program record for the men’s 200 freestyle relay (1:20.46) to place fourth.
Felt kept riding the momentum through day three, taking the silver medal in the 200 freestyle (1:35.95) and setting yet another ‘Cats’ record. Andrew Schou ‘25 continued that trend with a 54.42 in the 100 breaststroke, as did a quartet of sophomores–Schou, Jeremy Kemp ‘25, Miles Charles ‘25, and McClain–with a 3:14.66 in the 400 medley relay, earning them a silver medal. The ‘Cats rounded out the competition in style, with Felt claiming the A-10 title and setting not only a Davidson
record but an A-10 record with a 15:09.08 in the 1,650 freestyle. Felt, McClain, Brann, and Ware established an incredible eighth and final all-time high for the program, completing the 400 freestyle relay in just 2:58.31 in their fourth-place finish.
It was an unforgettable trip from start to finish, with each and every team member contributing to the ‘Cats success, but all eyes were on Felt throughout the competition. He secured the A-10’s Most Outstanding Rookie award, which is limited to freshman, along with Most Outstanding Performer honors, beating out the field of swimmers of all ages. Felt, a native of Fort Lauderdale, Fl., got his swimming start at age 7. “My older brother, Myles, swam before me, so I said, ‘Hey, why don’t I try this?’” From that moment on, he has practiced and competed year-round, often 7 days a week, first at Swim Fort Lauderdale with Coach Dave Gibson, and now with the Wildcats.
For Felt, the experience of conferences was rewarding on a deeper level than pride in his numerous personal achievements. “As a team, I think we succeeded both in and out of the water. We had a lot of personal bests and with all of the hard work the team puts in at practice every single day, it felt really rewarding seeing everyone do so well.” In many ways, the out-of-the-water events were even more meaningful than the medals and program records for Felt. “I feel like we succeeded in how we carried our attitudes that whole week. The team never failed to stand up, scream, and cheer for every single person’s race. The collective support, whether someone swam a bad race or a great one, was nothing like
anything I’ve ever experienced on any team before,” said Felt.
The ‘Cats ended their season with considerably more good races than bad in that four-day span, and the culture of high expectations and team spirit established by the upperclassmen does not appear lost on younger team members. When asked to recall the most memorable moment of conferences, Felt, without hesitation, replied, “The team dinners and bus rides. Taking our minds off racing and just winding down, joking around with teammates, and having good talks was the best part.”
This feeling has been present all season–both on road trips and on campus–and will continue the rest of the semester, even though
the spring season demands much less time in the pool. “Between the team dinners at commons and study breaks in the library, you always have a group of friends to talk to” in the form of teammates of all ages. More than that, “you have a group of friends who understand the balance of student-athlete life that are always there to help you…knowing I have this support system makes me unafraid to ask for help in schoolwork and in my social life, which is such a unique privilege of Davidson,” Felt concluded. He and the ‘Cats will enjoy their less demanding schedule now that the season has concluded, but they will be ready to compete and improve on this season come next semester.
Senior guard Suzi-Rose Deegan ‘23 took time to reflect on the past four years she has spent with the Davidson basketball program. The heart-and-soul of the squad as well as one of the primary scorers on the team, Deegan is contributing over 14 points a night on over 33% shooting from beyond the threepoint line. However, more important than her accolades on the court is the journey she has experienced off of it with the team and the Davidson program as a whole. When asked about her decision to go to Davidson, Deegan pondered, “I think the basketball program does a really good job of balancing athletics and education, they prioritize studying and our ability to get to classes. I think that’s really important and something that you aren’t going to find at a lot of Division One programs.”
When asked about what she enjoyed about Davidson’s style of play on the court, she grinned, “As a whole, we play a very team-
oriented game, offensively and defensively fun to play in.” Deegan brings her upbeat attitude to every game and it definitely rubs off on her teammates, providing a positive spark every time she is out on the floor.
Although some of her senior teammates are injured this season, Deegan does not let that affect her on-court chemistry with the younger players who are getting a chance to shine.
“When you like people, it’s easy. Davidson does a good job of emphasizing relationships over performance so it’s never just me out there it’s all of us…whether I’m playing with people I’ve played with for four years or just a couple of games.” When looking at her accolades, most recently joining the 1000-point club this season, it would be easy for Deegan to stake her claim as a dominant individual performer in the A-10. However, she attributes her success to the team-first mentality that this squad plays with. When asked about the moment she scored her thousandth point, she recalled:
“It’s pretty special, joining a group that is a special group. For me it wasn’t so much as a
great individual achievement but more of what the program has allowed me to do. To get that accolade meant a lot to me though in terms of the resilience I showed coming back from injury…yeah it was more about my resilience than anything else.”
Deegan embodied the team-first mentality to a tee as she supported her teammates from the sidelines as she battled back from an injury that kept her off the court for two full seasons.
When asked about the development of her game from freshman year, Deegan commented, “My freshman year I was very much only a scorer, not adequate defense or passing skills…but just watching the game, I feel like I’ve become a better teammate and a better leader.” These improvements are very apparent in the stat sheet, as Deegan has improved both her assists and rebounds per game this season. Buying into the team’s defensive strategy, Rosie grinned proudly, “I’ve taken nine charges…so my chargetaking abilities have developed.”
Deegan plans to continue with basketball even after she leaves Davidson, confident
she will have an exciting pro career overseas in Europe, “I can’t wait to explore that route[Europe], but I really don’t know what the future holds, hopefully playing in the WNBL in Australia and who knows maybe the WNBA.” Regardless of where her career leads her next, Deegan is relishing her senior season here at Davidson, “we’re all fighting harder out there, supporting harder, it’s really like our last ride together so we’re definitely going to enjoy it,” as they look forward to the Atlantic 10 tournament in March.
Davidson is currently sitting at the 11seed in this year’s tournament set to begin in Wilmington, Delaware on March 1st. When asked about her prediction for the tournament, Deegan remained optimistic, “We gotta take it one game at a time, we’ve been between seven and eight healthy players all year and we are gonna show that we are resilient, keep playing hard. At the end of the day, anyone can win… we got that underdog mentality and we have the potential to beat these top teams”. Look out for Deegan and Co. to charge full steam ahead into the tournament in the coming weeks.
Getting laughed at by your classmates is normally a student’s nightmare, but for CJ Jenkins and Drohan
Lord it is a moment of excitement. One could hardly tell that this Oops Improv show was Jenkins and Lord’s first performance in front of an audience. Both new faces to the selective club this semester, Jenkins and Lord were not expecting anything to emerge from auditions. However, a successful tryout in Hance and a collective nine practices later, the pair walked onto the 900 Room stage for Oops’ Live Thursday show, welcomed by cheers from friends and strangers.
I had the opportunity to interview Jenkins and Lord in the lead up to their debut show and again in the wake of it. On the Tuesday before the performance, the two riffed off of each other in the Belk lounge with palpable nerves and eagerness. The
pair met earlier this year through mutual friends and Commons meals, and, when Jenkins decided to audition for Oops this semester, Lord joined him for support: “I just did it for fun, to see CJ.” So, when the news arrived that both of them made the cut as the only two new members, Lord was surprised. “I had a picture in my mind of who would get accepted, and I was definitely not in that picture.” Jenkins similarly explained his feelings towards the news, “I guess everyone has imposter syndrome,” wondering “are we even funny?” The irony in their nerves, though, arrived in the natural humor that filled Belk’s lounge when Jenkins and Lord answered simple questions. Lord articulated the key feature of improv: “It’s all about the chemistry…because it’s improv, it’s all so temperamental.” And Jenkins and Lord are in no way lacking comedic chemistry. When Lord explained that he “was considering doing standup before the pandemic started,” Jenkins, without missing a beat, quipped “but he had to sit down.” At that moment, all three of us laughing, I knew that there was nothing to worry about for Thursday night.
On Friday afternoon, Jenkins and Lord were still riding the high of the last night. Where nervousness was in the Thursday interview, enthusiasm now filled its place. Answering if their performance went well, Jenkins smiled and responded, “From what I’ve heard, it did.” Full of improv elements ranging from “sandcastle competitions” and accents to squirrels and character switches, the Oops show left the audience laughing past its eleven o’clock finale. Of course, behind the smooth performance were the inescapable first show jitters. Lord recalled a moment right at the beginning of the show when he forgot where to stand, and Jenkins mentioned freezing up for a moment in his squirrel skit, which involved miming the size of an acorn and lying on the ground. Lord chimed in, though, that “it feels like you freeze for a long time, but really everything just slows down for a second” and, as an audience member, it’s true that none of these supposed mistakes or pauses are noticeable. The pair also found support in their fellow Oops
members. Jenkins remarked on the comfort that even if he had a bad prompt, “I know Emma, Pete, and Amelio are going to make this workable.” Lord explained that the veteran cast “all gave their own individual wisdom” to the newcomers as they prepared for their first show. It’s clear that that wisdom paid off, as the duo seamlessly meshed with the rest of the group during their first show. By the end of the hour-long performance, Jenkins explained that he “was ready for the next.” Jenkins and Lord have now set a high bar for whatever comes next, and they can go back to their weekly practices knowing they’ve overcome their official inauguration into Oops. In parting words Jenkins thanked “everyone for supporting” and Lord–to fans–wanted to be clear: “Oops thanks you, and America thanks you.”
Cate Goodin/2026 (she/her) is a English and Political Science major from McLean, VA. She can be reached for comment at cagoodin@davidson.edu
It’s 5:30 on a Friday night in Union. Students buzz about, almost idle in their exhausted anticipation. In moments like these, setting aside Moodle in favor of the present moment, Davidson students can enjoy a stress-free, fun experience. In this quick interlude before the academia can enter the center stage at 10 am the next morning, the Davidson student band, The Simulations plan to entertain the student body.
The Simulations is ‘simulated’ by Tyler Puleo on lead guitar, Kavi Gandhi on drums, Andrew Tinaz on rhythm guitar, Malik Ramadanovic as the pianist and back-up vocals, Walker Hansen on bass, and Ellie Rice as vocals. While the band is not academically affiliated, all of the members have a connection to the Humanities Program at Davidson. It is not surprising, therefore, that the members named their band in reference to an academic quandary discussed in Humes.
“Fun story,” explains Gandhi. “The name of the Simulations, in fact, comes from the Humanities Program at Davidson College.” Ramandavoic is quick to point out the unofficial mascot of the band, Professor David Robb in the Philosophy Department and references his assigned reading, which inspired their name.
“We couldn’t think of another name,” bemuses Rice. Perhaps, then, it is better that they had met each other in Sapere Aude rather than a pre-dental program. Then, they might be named the Molars.
In the end, while the Humes program might not offer everyone a life-changing experience (or even a human experience), it did offer these 2022 Humesters a chance for musical connection. “Yeah, it was weird,” remembers Gandhi. “There was just a group of us sitting in a dorm room. Then someone had a guitar. It was probably Tyler. And he started playing and then people started singing and then I started tapping on the desk.
As Gandhi, Rice, and Ramandavic reflected on the band, it was easy to see that they were not talking simply about fellow band members, but deep friendships. “I think there’s just something really different with student-created, student-directed arts. You build this chemistry where you can start playing a tune, and it’s just gonna end up somewhere totally different. I think with all music, you’re making music for yourself and for an audience. I think that’s really special because we’re all in different places in our journey with music. Malik knows everything about music theory, and I know a lot about rhythm, and Ellie knows a lot about vocals, and Tyler can just play a mean guitar solo. And Andrew knows what to do with his pedals, and Walker can just pull a baseline out of nowhere when he’s just sitting in
the corner. But then, we can pull all of this together and make really fun music. it’s just a different vibe than when you’re sitting in front of a director who’s telling you what to do and how you should sound.”
However, The Simulations, while untethered to strict institutional standards, are also untethered to the benefits of Davidson-funded equipment. “I think the biggest struggle when it comes to playing music for parties or gigs is we can’t even get the equipment,” explains Rice. “Even though we rehearse, I think a big problem we are facing right now is that even though everyone is asking for live music, and everyone wants student bands, no one is willing to support student bands,” further details Rice. “We kind of had to do a reassessment of what we have. Can we pull together stuff from our own homes and truck it to campus after a break? We just sound like crap without a mixer and the good stuff that the school has.” Looking out at the graceful scene on a spring afternoon at Davidson, it is easy to forget the immense academic responsibility carried
by the students that speckle Chambers Lawn. Similarly, it is easy to love college bands without seeing the work, effort, and aggravation that goes into maintaining and cultivating a band.
“I think student bands are such a malleable thing,” reflects Ramandanovic. “ Even if we didn’t get gigs or perform, we would just rehearse. That’s the purpose. At the end of the day. Just have fun making music.” While the Simulations are passionate about their gigs, they don’t plan to continue playing beyond Davidson. However, this future never really mattered to The Simulations. They don’t come together to simply craft a specific song or play at a certain venue. Rather, they only hope to harmonize with their present moment for the inherent joy and internal balance they find in creating music.
Belle Mckissick Staley (she/her) is a Chemistry and Art double major from 2nd Belk (its okay to shudder). She can be reached for comment at Bemckissickstaley@davidson.edu
CATE GOODIN‘26 (SHE/HER) STAFF WRITER The Simulations after a show in the 900 room, Alvarez Student Union. Photo credit: Ellie Rice ‘25 Drohan Lord, Avo Reid, and Julieta Lessne playing the sound game. Photo credit: Katherine Marshall ‘26 Oops members at Live Thursday. Photo credit: Oops improv BELLE STALEY ‘26 (SHE/HER) STAFF WRITERWe have once again reached the time of year where Nummit is absolutely OVERRUN by Big/Little coffee chats. You’ve seen them, you’ve struggled to find a seat because of them, you’ve unintentionally (or intentionally) eavesdropped on them and now know way more about random freshman/sophomore eating house members than you ever intended to, and I bet it has you wondering - what’s it like to have a Big? Well, my quiz-takers, I am here to tell you: If you had a Davidson College Big, who would it be?
Pick a favorite snack you want your big to get you a whole basket of...
A. Nerd Gummy Clusters (despite popular belief they actually do sell these outside of Davidson vending machines)
B. Cheez-Its/Goldfish
C. Fresh fruit (this is sort of unhinged but I support you!)
D. Chocolate!
Mostly A’s: Doug Hicks
Congratulations - with the president of the school as your new big, you are the official Nepo Baby of Davidson college!
Mostly C’s: A Nummit barista (pick your favorite!)
This is sort of a choose-your-ownadventure option, but no matter who they are, you will definitely be showered with lots of free coffee and avocado toast - yay!
Pick a person you want your Big to contact to help them with Big/Little week!
A. Your partner.
B. Your best friend.
C. Your Davidson unicorn (don’t lie, we all have one.)
D. Your mom (What? She knows you best!)
Pick a random thing for your Big to treat you to during the week.
A. A fresh-brewed cup of your favorite coffee/tea waiting for you in your dorm every morning.
B. A super fun date night planned with your partner/best friends.
C. A fanpage of yourself.
D. An extension on that assignment you’ve been super worried about.
Mostly B’s: Steph Curry
You didn’t hear this from me, but everyone else is REALLY jealous of you now. Is it more because of Steph being your big or Ayesha being your big-in-law? We may never know.
Mostly D’s: Woodrow Wilson
Even though he transferred (and is unfortunately, no longer with us), Wilson came back to be YOUR big. Whether you love him, hate him, or need to google him to remember how you feel about him, that’s no longer my problem.
Pick a “favorites category” that you and your Big have in common.
A. Favorite movies/tv shows
B. Favorite sport/sport teams
C. Favorite songs/artists
D. Favorite books
And finally, how do you want to find out who your Big is?
A. By means of your own investigative skills.
B. Someone letting it slip.
C. Oh please - you requested them and knew who it’d be the whole time.
D. In a classic, dramatic reveal!!
I’M HERE WITH ELLIE HEALD ‘26 AND WELLS LETSON ‘26 AND WE DISCUSSED THEIR INVOLVEMENT WITH DAVIDSON OUTDOORS AND HOW IT HAS ALLOWED THEM OPPORTUNITIES TO CONNECT WITH FELLOW DAVIDSON STUDENTS AND CONTINUE THEIR PASSIONS FOR BEING OUTDOORS.
HAVE YOU PARTICIPATED IN A DAVIDSON OUTDOORS TRIP BEFORE?
ELLIE: I DID OUTDOOR ODYSSEY OVER THE SUMMER AND LOVED THE GROUP OF PEOPLE I WAS WITH AND WAS SO GLAD I KNEW THEM GOING INTO THE SCHOOL YEAR. I ALSO DID JOSHUA TREE OVER WINTER BREAK AND IT WAS ONE OF THE MOST UNIQUE AND EPIC EXPERIENCES. IT DEFINITELY MADE ME WANT TO DO MORE WITH DO WHICH IS WHY I’M DOING TLT NOW!
WELLS: I HAVE PARTICIPATED IN OUTDOOR ODYSSEY WHEN I WENT BACKPACKING AND PADDLING. I LOVED BEING OUTSIDE BUT IT WAS DEFINITELY A LITTLE OVERWHELMING BEING IN THE WOODS WITH PEOPLE YOU DON’T KNOW, ESPECIALLY IN THE VULNERABLE PRE-COLLEGE TIME. I ALSO DID ROCK CLIMBING TRIP LEADER TRAINING (RTLT) THIS YEAR WHICH WAS AWESOME AND WHERE I MET TWO OF MY BEST FRIENDS.
WHAT IS TLT AND WHY DID YOU WANT TO PARTICIPATE IN THE TRAINING?
ELLIE: TLT STANDS FOR TRIP LEADER TRAINING AND IS A COURSE THAT STUDENTS CAN TAKE IF THEY WANT TO BE ABLE TO LEAD DO TRIPS. YOU LEARN BOTH TECHNICAL SKILLS LIKE HOW TO DO A BEAR HANG OR USE A STOVE AS WELL AS PERSONAL SKILLS SUCH AS HOW TO CO-LEAD AND HOW TO GIVE FEEDBACK. I AM HOPING TO LEAD TRIPS IN THE FUTURE AFTER COMPLETING THIS COURSE!
WELLS: I DID RTLT BECAUSE I WANTED TO BE MORE INVOLVED IN DO AND HEARD THAT TLT WAS FUN AND WANTED TO CONTINUE MY LOVE FOR ROCK CLIMBING. I LED MY FIRST TRIP RECENTLY AND IT WAS SO MUCH FUN! I HOPE TO HELP OUT WITH ROCK CLIMBING TRIP LEADER TRAINING IN THE FALL OF MY SOPHOMORE YEAR.
We Are Wildcats is a human-interest column that aims to share the extraordinary within the ordinary at Davidson College and to showcase the inspiring things that make each and every Wildcat unique. If you wish to be featured or know someone whose story needs to be heard, please feel free to contact saathreya@davidson.edu! Stay tuned for future stories! This interview has been edited for length and clarity. (Check out this week’s profile to the right!)
HOW DOES DAVIDSON OUTDOORS CONNECT YOU TO ACTIVITIES YOU DID BEFORE COLLEGE?
ELLIE: I DID A TON OF BACKPACKING BEFORE COLLEGE AND KNEW I WANTED TO CONTINUE ESPECIALLY BECAUSE OF THE NATURAL RESOURCES WE HAVE ACCESS TO IN NORTH CAROLINA. DO HAS MOST DEFINITELY HELPED ME NOURISH MY LOVE FOR BEING OUTDOORS!
WELLS: I DID A LOT OF OUTDOOR PROGRAMMING LIKE CAMPING AND CLIMBING WITH MY JOB AT A CLIMBING PLACE WITH MY FRIENDS FROM HIGH SCHOOL. I LOVE THESE MOUNTAINS!
yowl.com/existentialcrisisbeginsnow
Freshman Who Wanted to Change the World is Now Senior with Desk Job Lined Up at Wells Fargo Page Money Route
Political Science
Major in Your Ethics
Class Needs to Shut the Fuck Up Page CaPiTaLiSm
March 1, 2023
Shocking News: Student Working a Made-Up Work Study Job Not Ruthlessly Efficient and Motivated at Work Page Paid Homework Time
Like a wide-eyed protagonist crossing the threshold into the unknown, someday you’ll have to campaign for yourself for a role at Davidson College. Unlike in the history department where people critique people that are dead, when running a campaign, people critique people that are alive, and that’ll be you whether you like it or not. Perhaps someday you want to be a real politician, well us students here at Davidson provide a trueto-life toxic world where you can practice your campaigning skills. No poli sci class can teach you what the Davidson college school of hard knocks can teach you.
Whether you’re running for SGA or vying for a treasurer position in a club’s e-board, you have to control the narrative around you and the only way to get a good reputation on this campus is by being around, but doing nothing. Never say anything opinionated, and never do anything that could ever rub someone the wrong way. So, you must exist in any space without doing anything. Be amicable, but not too nice. Respectful, but not weirdly respectful. Funny, but dad jokes not Yowl jokes. The best way to win a campaign is to keep your name out of other’s mouths. Because if people are talking about you, there’s just no way it’s a good thing.
Of course, this all seems almost impossible to achieve. How can you be yourself and also be a shapeless hollow of a person? That’s a good question–here’s another strategy…to truly control the narrative, do something that you’ll forever be known for that you can control. Perhaps one day in class, you spill water all over yourself and have to leave to change. Not too bad huh? Then everyone will talk about that event for years on end, and yes you’ll look like a fool and a
klutz, but you controlled how people think about you, and that’s how to win campaigns. You can be sure that even if you do something embarrassing in front of one or two people, it will spread to the entire school. Fuck it, why not go to live thursday, pretend to get drunk and have to run to the bathroom to throw up publicly. It’s rude, it’s embarrassing, but it’ll be funny in a few days, and instantly you become that person. If you’re lucky, that story will follow you your entire life. Fortunately, Davidson College has an extensive group of alumni that will know this story, and you’ll always be proud that you got in front of the media, and the toxic group of Davidson college.
The final tidbit of information is to control your social media. If you feel you’re able to control your narrative, then make sure you don’t ruin it by posting something embarrassing on social media. Even if you feel that you took a sick picture of yourself at the beach, I wouldn’t post that if I were you. If you look too good, you’re a douche, and if you look bad, then well, people will let you know behind your back. Make sure to post pictures of groups, especially groups of people that are unknown to the Davidson general body. You don’t want to associate yourself with someone else that might be disliked by someone. Perhaps even hire a group of actors to act as your friends so you can avoid any further discussion of your views.
So if you want to be treasurer of the Ultimate Frisbee club, make sure you cover all your bases. If all this seems impossible to achieve and extremely stressful, then perhaps you picked the wrong school to go to? We may have small class sizes (except for any department that’s popular) but we all have big mouths. You have to love it right?
Beneath the chatter and group projects, Aisles of dusty periodicals, Sunk into the wormy soil, Ever quiet, ever eerie.
Lies a creature seen by none, Imagined by few, the ones who linger, Buried in papers and projects, but GASP!
Shocked when an AirPod is nowhere to be found
Gone is a singular pod!
Only one ear can hear your tunes!
Beta waves and lofi beats, Left behind in a bathroom break, I reach through the books and SNATCH! Never to be seen again…by you at least Get it?
Xoxo, Egg White
(We hear Egg White got an A on this poem in their self-graded poetry independent study.)
WRITERS Error
He Showed Up Egg White
The Negative Nancy Issue
Students Learn That Music Other Than No Hands by Waka Flocka Flame Exists at Walt x KSig Boiler Room Page Cultural Diversity
Music Star You’ve Never Heard of Gets Honorary Degree But You Can’t Graduate b/c You Didn’t Play an IM Sport Page Softball
The Davidson Marriage Pact came out today and everyone got their dream results. Everyone except for you that is. Sources tell us that you didn’t get a match. Over half the students here are on it and we couldn’t find you a match. Have fun getting to listen to all your friends fawn over their match and compatibility. But I’m sure it’s nothing personal, it is just a made up algorithm. Oh wait never mind, it really is a you problem. In a statement provided to the Yowl, Marriage Pact said you in fact “should take it incredibly personally. This isn’t how the process goes at all. For most people we have multiple matches and have to narrow it down, we couldn’t even find just a single one for you. Really says something about you doesn’t it?” The founders continued to pour salt in your wound, adding “I mean at this point why even get excited for the reveal day. You must have known deep down that your answers were the exact wrong things to say. We didn’t know you could fail Marriage Pact, and yet here you are.”
To be fair, what did you expect? Davidson Fika, who are desperate for people to fill out their survey, couldn’t even match you. What makes you think some shady outside website would be able to find you someone new on this already small campus. By now we thought that you would have started putting 4 for every question and formed some of your own opinions, but no, you’re just another generic person. Guess you don’t prefer to apologize or stand your ground. And you don’t even have an opinion on abortion? Cmon, we go to a liberal arts school. Giving your personal data to this website has truly gotten you nothing other than having your school email and personal information sold online, what a tough run for you.
Oh my apologies, it turns out we did have a match for you! They just didn’t want to talk to you. Man, that’s almost worse. This person saw your email and Outlook photo and decided to just be alone forever instead. We even managed to pull the most desperate person at this school to match with you and they nevertheless opted out. You really do hate to see it. It’s almost more insulting that someone filling out a random pact to marry someone would rather take their chances on their own than even email you. What are you gonna do now, huh? Start replying to the Insta DM’s from Porn Star bots? Try to send them an email to meet up with your TA? Get set up through Outlook Invite? Good luck with that one pal.
Since the majority of students here are carpetbaggers who defaulted to Davidson after not being able to get into their swanky New England liberal arts school, it’s no wonder this place has a performative activist tinge. But recently it seems that the Davidson student body may not be as liberal as it once was. The Yowl investigative team has recorded a number of ways in which conservative ideas are starting to seep their way into Davidson student’s minds.
Students say they’re concerned about global warming but are enjoying the weather. Stop sunbathing on Chambers lawn and start worrying about this crisis! Not only has online purchases for cute spring dresses and Spikeball sets increased, but so has the number of empty plastic Nummit cups rolling back down the hill (good luck finding an Obama quote to justify this one), making it clear that Davidson students aren’t nearly as concerned
“We objectively slayed.”
- Someone I overheard (not ironically)
about the environment as they claim to be. If they really were, they would be building a fully sustainable bunker (just as sustainable as the Susty Coop) underneath the Davidson Farm.
A new study finds that 91% of the student body supports campo’s handling of the middle school biker gang. For the past month, detainments and trespassing have been listed on the college’s public crime log. Any Union frequenter knows very well this is the devil in the disguise of several middle schoolers which may be why these series of detainments have boosted pro-campo sentiments to second highest it’s ever been in the school’s history. It seconds the Timely Goose Warning from last semester only by a few margin points. Because of the rise of pro-campo attitudes, some students have even suggested bringing the Delta force back to campus in order to create a surveillance state against the middle school biker gang.
Your Marriage Pact Top Qualities:
- You’re in the 90th percentile for having a loud mouth
Another study finds that despite claiming to advocate for gender equality, Davidson students are gravitating to their male professors more. It’s spring time which means love is in the air and nothing is more adorable than your elderly man professor. His shaggy beard because he’s too old to be bothered anymore reminds you of the stuffed animal you made at Build-A-Bae. His feeble old walk is clearly a manifestation of his unsteady relationship, a sign that you can swoop in.
Yes it’s clear that the college’s conservative underbelly is showing itself. Though Davidson Students can pretend all day that they don’t have a credit card with their parents’ name on it, they’ll have to reckon with the fact that perhaps they’re not as socialist as they want others to think, and maybe, just maybe, they’ve benefited from a capitalist system…the horror.
- You’re in the 99th percentile for being bad in bed
- You’re in the 20th percentile for being
Note: The Yowl is a satirical supplement to The Davidsonian Hence, nothing in it should be taken as truth.
