You came into this world with a compass. A position A pattern.
But no one taught you how to read it
So you did what most people do: You adapted. You survived You learned to play nice, play strong, play small or play to win.
But under all the performance and people-pleasing? There’s a core concern you’ve been carrying your whole life
That concern has shaped:
● How you lead
● How you love
● How you fight
● How you retreat
● How you self-sabotage
● How you measure success
● And why some relationships drain you while others make you come alive
This playbook is about discovering that truth. Your positional truth in the game of life
It’s about you your wiring, your role, your design, your blind spots, your gifts, and the truth you’ve been living even if you didn’t have words for it.
This is the origin story The personal revelation The mirror
Once you see the map inside you, you stop blaming yourself for being “too much,” “too cold,” “too sensitive,” or “too complicated ”
And you start understanding:
“Oh this is just how I’m wired ”
This Book Is Not a Quiz. It’s a Revelation.
We’re not here to give you a cute label or a motivational mantra We’re here to help you see the real you.
Before conditioning Before overcorrection Before burnout.
This is the origin code
4Cross isn’t a personality type. It’s a biological operating system for human understanding.
And whether you’ve been overfunctioning in relationships, burning out at work, craving something deeper, or just feeling like you’re not quite living aligned...
This book is here to show you who you are, positionally and what you were actually built to bring to this world.
You play a position in the game of life: North, East, South, or West
Not metaphorically Biologically.
And when you know your position, your entire life begins to click into place
Context
The Ancient Roots of 4Cross hOS™
4Cross hOS™ is not a trend
It’s not a theory
It’s not a personality system invented in a psychology lab.
It’s a remembrance
At its core, 4Cross hOS™ embraces one of the oldest, deepest understandings of human nature ever recorded: The Native American Medicine Wheel.
The Medicine Wheel is not just a symbol it is a sacred map of life It reflects the natural rhythms of existence: the seasons, the elements, the directions, and the human journey itself.
Each position in 4Cross is deeply aligned with these ancient truths:
● North = Winter = Air = Wisdom
● East = Spring = Fire = Valor
● South = Summer = Earth = Justice
● West = Autumn = Water = Prudence
These are not personality traits
They are biological orientations core positions we are born into, guiding how we survive, love, connect, and lead
Why This Matters
1. It’s Not Invented It’s Remembered
Modern psychological models try to describe human behavior
The Medicine Wheel understood it long before the first academic theories were written.
4Cross doesn’t create something new It modernizes something eternal
You are not shaped solely by culture or upbringing
You are born into a position with a survival concern, a biological mandate, and a role in the greater system of life.
2. It Grounds Love and Life in Survival, Not Sentiment
Each direction wasn’t poetic it was practical It mapped survival itself:
● Norths seek certainty to survive
● Easts seek freedom to survive.
● Souths seek harmony to survive
● Wests seek order to survive
This reframes love and relationships from being mysterious accidents to being strategic, biologically driven patterns
You are not "failing at love" you will simply learn to see the game you were always playing.
3. It Reveals the True Cycle of Human Coordination
The Medicine Wheel doesn’t just describe individuals it describes movement:
● The North conceives the vision
● The East explores and ignites possibilities
● The South builds stability and connection.
● The West refines, preserves, and protects what matters
This is the universal cycle: The way ideas evolve, relationships grow, societies succeed, and missions endure
You are part of this living pattern.
4. It Honors the Whole, Not Just the Self
In the Medicine Wheel and in 4Cross hOS™ no position is superior.
Each position holds sacred, non-negotiable value
Each role is vital to survival, to success, and to love
● Vision needs execution
● Creativity needs structure
● Action needs reflection.
● Connection needs clarity
When you see this, judgment fades. Compassion rises.
Love deepens
The Deeper Truth: Survival Required Understanding Human Nature
For Indigenous peoples, understanding human nature wasn't theoretical It was essential for survival.
They mapped humanity the way they mapped the stars: Observing, honoring, integrating.
● Norths brought direction when paths disappeared
● Easts sparked action when stagnation threatened
● Souths mended hearts when fractures appeared.
● Wests preserved wisdom when it was needed most
Everyone mattered.
Everyone had a role Everyone had a place in the Circle of Life
4Cross is not about hierarchy
4Cross is sacred coordination
The Sacred Blueprint Inside You
The Medicine Wheel teaches that the elements outside us Air, Fire, Earth, Water live within us
● A North brings the sharp clarity of Winter Air.
● An East ignites the spark of Spring Fire
● A South nurtures the life-force of Summer Earth.
● A West preserves wisdom like Autumn Water
This is not mythology This is biology, energy, and spirit woven together.
It’s how tribes survived
It’s how humans loved, led, and lived in rhythm with the greater whole.
Why 4Cross hOS™ Changes Everything
Rooted in this ancient wisdom, 4Cross hOS™ brings a sacred truth to the modern world: You are not broken. You are not random You are designed
Love, leadership, connection, purpose none of these are mysteries anymore They are patterns you can see, honor, and master.
You don’t need to fix yourself You need to know thyself.
And when you do, you don’t just survive You will thrive In life In love In peace
Chapter 1: You Were Never Random
Before You Were Anything Else You Were Positioned
Let’s start with something radical:
You’re not broken. You’re not confused You’re not “too much” or “too complicated.”
They seek peace not because they fear conflict, but because they understand what fractures cost.
“I just want us to be okay”
“Why does it always have to be a fight?”
“I don’t need much I just want to feel close ”
Souths are deeply loyal, emotionally attuned, and profoundly generous. But under stress, they suppress their own needs, over-function, or implode silently
They express love by giving. They struggle to receive They often feel exhausted but afraid to say so
If you’ve been told:
● “You’re too sensitive ”
● “You don’t speak up ”
● “You hold everything in.”
It’s likely you’re a South.
You’re not weak
You’re just wired to keep love from collapsing—and sometimes that means losing yourself in the process.
Your healing begins the moment you believe your needs matter just as much as everyone else’s.
West – The Guardian of Order
Core Concern: Security / Order
Element: Water
Season: Autumn
Gift: Structure, discernment, preservation
Shadow: Rigidity, criticism, emotional distance
If you are West, you were born to:
● Bring clarity to complexity
● Protect what matters most
● See what others miss (risks, patterns, systems)
● Create sustainability where others burn out
West is the force of long-game thinking They don’t perform They don’t rush They refine.
“Let’s slow down ” “Is this really the smartest move?” “We need to protect what we’ve built.”
Wests are precise, grounded, and wise But under pressure, they can become judgmental, withdrawn, or paralyzed by uncertainty.
They express love through reliability and protection But they often feel misunderstood or emotionally bypassed
If you’ve been told:
● “You’re cold ”
● “You’re too critical ”
● “You never open up ”
It’s likely you’re a West.
You’re not unfeeling
You’re just wired to create stability in a world that feels dangerously out of control.
You don’t need to soften your strength
You just need people who see the heart behind the structure.
Your Position Is Not a Box. It’s a Blueprint.
You weren’t meant to be everything
You were meant to be exceptional at your position in the game.
Once you stop trying to balance yourself into blandness and start owning your true lane life gets clearer
Not easier
But aligned
And when you move from alignment? You no longer just survive.
You lead You connect. You create You build
You become the upgraded version of yourself you’ve always sensed was there.
Now it’s time to find your position
Not with a quiz. But with your story
Chapter 3: Find Yourself in the Story
How Your Position Has Been Showing
Up
All Along
You know the four positions now North, East, South, and West
But information is not integration The real shift happens when you see yourself in your actual life:
In the way you answer texts.
In the people you’re drawn to
In what makes you panic.
In how you handle silence, pressure, intimacy, or change
This chapter is here to help you trace the evidence so you can say with confidence:
“Ah There I am That’s me I’ve been playing this role forever”
And once you see your default moves, you unlock your conscious power. Let’s begin Your Position Shapes Everything—Especially When You’re Not Aware It shows up in how you:
● Handle decisions
● Move through relationships
● Respond to failure
● Recover from conflict
● Show love
● Avoid vulnerability
● Try to prove your worth
● Try to keep your sanity
Below, you’ll see how each position operates in real life so you can identify yourself through pattern, not guesswork
NORTH – The One Who Has to “Figure It Out”
In relationships:
● You move fast, assess early, and lead the dynamic (even when you don’t mean to)
● You hate ambiguity If things are unclear, you take control or disappear
● You measure love in loyalty and action, not words or vibes
● If someone seems unstable or passive, you lose respect fast
Under stress:
● You double down on logic
● You start giving orders or isolating
● You can feel emotionally shut down but mentally overactive
● Vulnerability feels inefficient
In life:
● You’re drawn to responsibility
● You tend to take on too much, because “who else will do it right?”
● You’re strategic, direct, and uncomfortable when you’re not in motion
● You often feel underestimated—and simultaneously overburdened
If this sounds familiar:
You’ve likely been a North your whole life leading rooms before you had the words for it, and resenting people for needing you while fearing what happens if they don’t
EAST – The One Who Can’t Be Contained
In relationships:
● You’re magnetic, fun, and full of ideas until it gets heavy or predictable
● You hate being pinned down emotionally or logistically
● You want someone who gives you space and sees your spark
● You confuse “peace” with “boredom” and sometimes self-sabotage just to feel alive again
Under stress:
● You perform, escape, or exaggerate
● You become erratic or emotionally slippery
● You hate being told you’re too much but also hate being ignored
● You fear becoming invisible
In life:
● You’re drawn to newness: projects, people, conversations, aesthetics
● You want to make an impact but long-term follow-through is tough
● You’re full of energy but feel trapped easily
● You thrive with flexible structure not rigid rules
If this sounds like you: You’re likely East You’ve been running from cages your whole life but you’re not wild You’re wired for expansion, and you’re learning how to stay without shrinking.
SOUTH – The One Everyone Turns To (but No One Really Sees)
In relationships:
● You attract people who “need” you
● You sense moods before they’re named
● You don’t say what you need until it’s too late
● You give, give, give and then quietly resent
Under stress:
● You withdraw but stay close just in case
● You soften conflict to keep the connection
● You carry emotional burdens for others
● You feel unappreciated but guilty for wanting more
In life:
● You are the peacemaker, the feeler, the connector
● You lead with your heart, not your agenda
● You get emotionally flooded but rarely explode
● You feel loyal to people long after they’ve stopped showing up for you
If this sounds like you:
You’re likely South. You’ve been keeping the group (or the family, or the relationship) together for years Now, it’s your time to be seen not just needed
WEST – The One Who Keeps It Together (Until They Don’t)
In relationships:
● You don’t rush You observe
● You show love through reliability, consistency, and quiet presence
● You don’t like being pushed emotionally
● You can look “cold,” but you’re actually cautious and deeply loyal
Under stress:
● You shut down or over-prepare
● You lose interest in spontaneity or intimacy
● You judge (yourself and others) more harshly
● You feel safer in routine than in emotional unknowns
In life:
● You value precision, ethics, integrity
● You feel responsible for protecting what matters
● You notice the cracks before anyone else does
● You’re slow to open but when you do, you stay
If this sounds like you:
You’re probably West. You’ve been trying to create order in a disordered world. And you’re learning that control doesn’t equal love but wisdom can still protect your heart
Still Not Sure? Try This Simple Pattern Recognition
Ask yourself:
“When I feel threatened, what’s the FIRST thing I try to get?”
● Clarity? → North
● Space? → East
● Connection? → South
● Order? → West
“What’s the WORST feeling in the world for me?”
● Not knowing what’s going on → North
● Feeling trapped or caged → East
● Feeling disconnected or rejected → South
● Feeling unprepared or out of order → West
“What do I wish people understood about me?”
● That I’m trying to help by taking charge → North
● That I’m not flaky I just need space → East
● That I’m not okay just because I’m quiet → South
● That I care deeply I just don’t show it like others do → West
This Is Just the Beginning
You don’t have to have every answer today
But once you start seeing the thread, the pattern, the instinct beneath the actions…
You’ll start reclaiming pieces of yourself you didn’t even realize you’d handed over
Your life gets clearer
Your choices get sharper. Your boundaries make more sense
Your healing becomes less mysterious.You’re not overreacting. You’re just playing a position you never had words for until now
Chapter 4: Shadow and Survival
What You Do When You Don’t Feel Safe And How to Catch It Before It Wrecks
You
Let’s start with a truth no one tells you:
Your survival mode isn’t bad It’s brilliant but outdated.
It kept you alive when you didn’t feel safe It protected your wiring. It helped you stay connected, in control, or invisible when those were your only options
But here’s the cost:
If you live in survival mode long enough, you start mistaking defense for identity
You confuse:
● Fear with logic
● Avoidance with peace
● Control with leadership
● Silence with strength
You become a master of survival and a stranger to your own alignment
This chapter shows you how that happens.
Survival Mode Is Your Position… On Fire
Your position isn’t the problem It’s how you use it when you don’t feel safe.
When you’re afraid, stressed, unseen, or under threat, your system doesn’t say:
“Let me communicate clearly and compassionately”
It says:
“Time to armor up ”
That armor always comes from your position and it always follows the same survival pattern.
Let’s break it down
NORTH – The Tyrant of Certainty
When unsafe, Norths try to take total control.
● They override emotions with logic
● They dominate conversations
● They shut down tenderness fast
● They become blunt, reactive, and emotionally unreachable
● They talk at people instead of to them
Why?
Because not knowing = danger
So when a North feels insecure, unseen, or questioned, they stop offering leadership and start demanding obedience
The leader becomes a tyrant.
The visionary becomes arrogant
The protector becomes a bulldozer
They don’t mean to crush They’re just trying to not get crushed.
EAST – The Chaos of Freedom
When unsafe, Easts escape physically, mentally, emotionally.
● They ghost or disappear
● They spin in endless possibilities
● They start drama to avoid intimacy
● They joke when things get too real
● They stop finishing anything
Why?
Because commitment = confinement.
And if it starts to feel like a trap, the East will burn the whole thing down just to feel free again
The explorer becomes erratic.
The dreamer becomes unreliable
The fire becomes pure smoke.
They don’t mean to run They’re just trying to breathe.
SOUTH – The Disappearing Heart
When unsafe, Souths shrink, simmer, or emotionally collapse.
● They stop speaking up
● They martyr themselves in silence
● They cry quietly instead of setting boundaries
● They guilt-trip when they don’t feel heard
● They “forgive” things they’re still secretly hurting from
Why?
Because conflict = rejection
And if love feels unstable, they’ll sacrifice themselves just to keep the connection alive.
The healer becomes the martyr
The connector becomes resentful. The soft heart becomes weaponized guilt
They don’t mean to manipulate They’re just trying to stay close
WEST – The Shutdown of Order
When unsafe, Wests withdraw behind perfection and logic.
● They get cold or robotic
● They pick everything apart
● They demand perfection from themselves or others
● They vanish emotionally
● They stop engaging unless everything is “in order”
Why?
Because unpredictability = danger.
So when life gets chaotic, Wests try to restore safety through systems and they’ll cut off anyone who brings “too much emotional mess.”
The wise one becomes the critic The protector becomes the judge The calm becomes an ice wall.
They don’t mean to shut you out They’re just trying to not collapse.
You’re Not Toxic—You’re Triggered
Most people label these reactions as:
● Red flags
● Personality flaws
● Relationship deal-breakers
But 4Cross sees it differently.
These are not flaws
These are your position trying to get safe.
The trouble is, you’ve likely been in survival mode for so long that you:
● Think this version of you is the real you
● Keep repeating patterns you promised you’d never go back to
● Keep attracting dynamics that reinforce your shadow
But now?
You see the switch
You see what happens when your gift becomes your defense.
And you can stop reacting and start reclaiming
How to Intercept the Spiral
You don’t need to fight your instincts. You need to lead them
Here’s how to catch the shadow before it owns you:
Step 1: Name It
“I’m slipping into North shadow I’m not leading, I’m controlling.”
“I’m in East panic I’m trying to disappear again ”
“I’m South spiraling I’m overgiving and silently expecting ”
“I’m West shutting down I’m replacing connection with critique.”
Step 2: Breathe Before Reacting
Survival mode is fast.
Mastery is slower
Even one deep breath creates a space between impulse and action
Step 3: Offer the Gift Again
Instead of:
● North: “Everyone shut up I’ll fix it.” →
Try: “Let me offer direction that brings us together”
● East: “I’m out, this is too much.” →
Try: “Can we shift the energy and talk in a way that works for both of us?”
● South: “I’m fine ” (While dying inside) →
Try: “I actually need to be heard right now.”
● West: “This is all wrong.” →
Try: “Let’s slow down and bring clarity to what matters ”
Your Shadow Is Not Shameful—It’s a Signal
It’s the alarm that says:
“You’re not safe You’re not seen You’re not in alignment ”
But now that you see it, you don’t have to live in it
You can interrupt it
Redirect it.
Lead it
And when you do, your power doesn’t just return it multiplies.
Because now?
You’re not just positioned. You’re awake
Chapter 5: Becoming the Upgraded You
Living Your Position on Purpose
This is where everything shifts
You’re no longer reacting
You’re no longer wondering.
You’re no longer trying to be “well-rounded” or “balanced” or “less intense ”
Now you’re choosing:
To live your design on purpose
Because the truth is
You were born with precision
A unique contribution that no one else was wired to give in the exact same way.
And until now, you’ve probably been using it unconsciously. It’s been leaking. Or surging. Or burning out. Or getting buried.
But now? You’re ready to wield it.
Your Position Is Not a Limitation. It’s a Lever.
The world will try to make you smaller:
● Norths will be told to soften
● Easts will be told to settle down
● Souths will be told to toughen up
● Wests will be told to lighten up
But the upgraded human doesn’t shrink to fit They expand with awareness
Because when you live your position with consciousness?
● You lead without controlling
● You connect without collapsing
● You express without escaping
● You protect without withdrawing
This is mastery
Not through force but through alignment.
Living Your Gift by Position
Let’s break it down
Here’s what it looks like to embody the upgraded version of your position: NORTH – Lead Strategically, Not Dominate Emotionally
The upgraded North:
● Brings clarity, not control
● Uses their vision to unify, not bulldoze
● Seeks input before deciding
● Leads with power and presence
● Chooses stillness when urgency isn’t required
They are not “less North” they are more conscious North. They create trust, not tension Their strength becomes safe. Their presence becomes directional wisdom, not pressure.
You were born to lead
But you were also born to listen. And when you do both? People follow freely
EAST – Create Without Burning Out or Burning Bridges
The upgraded East:
● Finishes what matters
● Channels energy into real impact
● Uses their fire to inspire, not flee
● Learns to rest without guilt
● Plays from grounded joy not performance
They are not “tamed” they are tempered Their charisma lands. Their energy heals Their spark builds something that lasts
You don’t need to run
You need room to shine and systems that support you When you get both? You stop escaping and start elevating.
SOUTH – Love Without Losing Yourself
The upgraded South:
● Speaks the hard truth without losing softness
● Sets boundaries without guilt
● Gives from fullness not fear
● Stays connected and honest
● Owns their voice as sacred, not secondary
They are not “less sensitive”—they are more self-honoring. Their kindness doesn’t cost them Their compassion includes themselves
You don’t need to be less tender. You need to be louder with your needs And when you are? Your love stops being a burden—and becomes a bond.
WEST – Protect What Matters Without Freezing What’s Alive
The upgraded West:
● Communicates even when it’s not perfect
● Invites emotion without losing clarity
● Moves forward before everything is flawless
● Softens with trust
● Teaches without correcting
They are not “less structured” they are more emotionally integrated. Their discernment feels like safety not shame Their loyalty feels like presence not distance.
You don’t need to be more exciting You need people who see the gold in your consistency When you’re seen, you relax and your wisdom flows.
This Is How Power Actually Feels
Here’s what no one tells you about real power:
It doesn’t feel like domination It feels like relief.
When you’re in alignment with your position:
● You stop overcorrecting
● You stop defending your wiring
● You stop chasing “balance” and start living your lane
● You give what you were always meant to give without apology or exhaustion
Your days feel cleaner Your boundaries get clearer Your relationships shift because people can finally feel you showing up whole.
You Have a Gift. The Map Gave You Language for It.
This book didn’t change you It revealed you.
It gave you a name for the thing you’ve been trying to express, contain, or justify your whole life
Now?
You don’t need to justify anything You get to live it.
On purpose In power. With love
Because now you know who you are.
Chapter 6: When They Don’t Understand You
Why You’ve Been Misread—And How to Stop Taking It Personally
Let’s be honest.
You’ve probably been called “too much,” “too quiet,” “too intense,” or “too sensitive” more than once in your life.
You’ve tried to explain yourself
You’ve tried to tone it down
You’ve tried to justify your decisions, your emotions, your needs...
And still
You’ve felt misunderstood.
That wasn’t an accident
That wasn’t failure.
That was positional collision.
Let’s talk about it.
Most People Are Not Seeing You. They’re Seeing Their Own Wiring Reacting to Yours.
Here’s the truth:
You weren’t rejected because you were wrong You were rejected because your design triggered someone else’s survival system.
They didn’t know that, of course They just felt uncomfortable Or intimidated. Or smothered Or judged. Or overwhelmed. Or unsafe
And instead of recognizing the difference, they made you the problem.
This is what happens when people read you through their own position
Let’s walk through it.
When People Misunderstand a North
What they see:
● Controlling
● Emotionally distant
● Intimidating
● Arrogant
What’s really happening:
● North is trying to bring clarity and direction
● They don’t mean to dominate they’re trying to protect progress
● They’re not cold they’re focused
What others don’t realize:
Norths lead because they care They don’t express love the way you want they express it the way they’re wired
If your softness or indecision triggers a North, they’ll go even more logical. If your strength triggers someone else, they’ll call you selfish or harsh
The truth?
You are decisive, not dangerous
You are leading, not attacking
When People Misunderstand an East
What they see:
● Flaky
● Self-centered
● Immature
● Unrealistic
What’s really happening:
● East is trying to stay free enough to stay present
● They don’t mean to avoid they’re trying not to suffocate
● They don’t need a leash they need room to breathe
What others don’t realize:
Easts bring vitality, ideas, and joy. They aren’t broken they’re exploratory
When you try to pin down an East out of your own fear, they’ll panic. When others call you “too much,” they’re really saying, “I don’t know how to hold your fire ”
The truth?
You are expansive, not unstable. You are possibility, not chaos
When People Misunderstand a South
What they see:
● Weak
● Needy
● Codependent
● Manipulative
What’s really happening:
● South is attuned to emotional balance and afraid of disconnection
● They don’t want to control you just haven’t heard them
● Their silence isn’t submission it’s exhaustion
What others don’t realize:
Souths are the emotional backbone of the tribe They aren’t passive they’re carrying more than you know
When someone’s discomfort with feeling causes them to mock your tenderness, that’s not a reflection of you that’s their own numbness speaking
The truth?
You are strong through softness You are generous, not weak
When People Misunderstand a West
What they see:
● Cold
● Judgmental
● Rigid
● Detached
What’s really happening:
● West is trying to restore safety through structure
● They’re not rejecting they’re regulating
● They don’t need a flood they need integrity
What others don’t realize:
Wests hold the line when everyone else is unraveling They’re not unfeeling they’re discerning
When someone tells you to “be more fun” or “just open up,” it’s usually because they don’t know how to sit in stillness with you
The truth?
You are stable, not frozen You are loyal, not distant.
So What Do You Do With All This?
When people misread you don’t collapse
Interpret it Don’t internalize it
Ask:
● What position might they be operating from?
● What are they trying to protect that your energy is unintentionally threatening?
● Is their judgment actually a reaction to positional contrast?
Then choose:
To hold your position with more skill not shame
To translate your wiring without apologizing for it
To stop taking every misreading personally
To stop shrinking in the presence of people who haven’t studied themselves yet
You Were Not Made to Be Understood by Everyone—You Were Made to Be Effective at What You’re Here to Do
People don’t have to “get you” for you to play your position with mastery.
Once you understand your own map, and you know how to recognize theirs?
You stop battling
You stop begging.
You start moving with positional grace.
You don’t need everyone to see you.
You need to stop abandoning yourself when they don’t.
Chapter 7: The People You’re Drawn To
Attraction Isn’t Random It’s Positional
Let’s talk about your “type ”
Not their eye color
Not their job.
Not their attachment style
The positional type the wiring you’re drawn to again and again, even if it burns, breaks, or blinds you
Because here’s the secret no one told you:
Attraction is not always alignment. Sometimes it’s survival strategy
Sometimes it’s memory. Sometimes it’s the magnetic pull between opposites trying to find balance or resolution.
Let’s decode it
Your Attraction Patterns Are Telling a Story
Think about your past relationships the people who made you feel alive, obsessed, or confused
Ask yourself:
● “What energy did I feel pulled toward?”
● “What was I chasing?”
● “What was I hoping they’d give me or fix in me?”
● “What felt familiar even when it hurt?”
Because that feeling? That pull?
It was your position reaching for something it either lacked, admired, feared, or secretly wanted to reclaim
Let’s break down the chemistry between positions
North’s Patterns of Attraction
North is drawn to:
● South: Because they soften what’s sharp
● East: Because they spark something spontaneous
● West: Because they stabilize the vision
North is magnetized by people who won’t compete with their leadership but will either anchor, amplify, or mystify it
But sometimes:
● Souths make North feel needed but eventually too slow or passive
● Easts excite North but can also feel irresponsible
● Wests calm North but their caution can frustrate
North often chases what they can’t control until they learn to lead without dominance.
East’s Patterns of Attraction
East is drawn to:
● West: Because they represent the structure East lacks
● North: Because they match the energy and boldness
● South: Because they offer acceptance and safety
East is magnetized by people who ground their fire but still believe in it
But sometimes:
● Wests become the wet blanket
● Norths become a power struggle
● Souths become too emotionally heavy
East often chases what feels unpredictable until they learn that freedom and intimacy can coexist.
South’s Patterns of Attraction
South is drawn to:
● North: Because they offer direction and strength
● East: Because they bring energy and spontaneity
● West: Because they bring safety and predictability
South is magnetized by people who feel bigger, louder, or steadier people they believe can “carry” what they’ve been holding
But sometimes:
● Norths overpower them
● Easts forget them
● Wests don’t open up in return
South often chases someone to feel safe with until they realize safety starts with not abandoning themselves.
West’s Patterns of Attraction
West is drawn to:
● East: Because they bring spark and newness
● South: Because they bring warmth and softness
● North: Because they bring decisiveness and motion
West is magnetized by people who breathe life into their measured world but who don’t demand instant emotional access.
But sometimes:
● Easts overwhelm them
● Souths flood them
● Norths bulldoze them
West often chases what feels alive until they realize they’re allowed to move emotionally, not just intellectually
The Chemistry Is Real—But the Compatibility Is Positional
Here’s the game-changer:
Attraction is instinct But relationship is coordination
You can feel an insane pull to someone who:
● Validates your position
● Challenges your survival style
● Feels like the missing piece
● Or reactivates your childhood pattern
But that pull doesn’t mean it’s healthy or sustainable
It just means your position recognizes something familiar
Why You Keep Repeating Patterns
If you’ve ever said:
● “Why am I always the one doing all the work?”
● “Why do I always attract chaos / coldness / control?”
● “Why does this feel so good in the beginning and then fall apart?”
● “Why can’t I stop thinking about them even if I know it’s wrong?”
You’re not crazy
You’re in a positional pattern
And until you name your position and theirs you’re flying blind
So What Do You Do Now?
1 Name your position honestly No more trying to be everything Know your lane
2 Recognize the position you’re drawn to Not just the person the pattern.
3 Ask what your attraction is trying to heal, prove, or protect Am I chasing safety? Power? Validation? Or freedom?
4 Choose people who can coordinate with your position Attraction alone won’t build a future. Alignment builds legacy.
5. Love is not just chemistry. It’s choreography. The smartest relationships aren’t always the hottest they’re the ones where both people know their position and play it with skill.
Chapter 8: Playing Your Position in Love, Work, and Purpose
You Weren’t Just Wired for Connection You Were Wired for Contribution
You know your position now
You know what you protect. You know what you give
You know what happens when you’re triggered. You know how to move in love, in attraction, in reaction.
But there’s one more level to claim:
Playing your position in the world.
This is not about your relationship
This is about your impact.
Because your wiring was not just built to survive love It was designed to serve something larger than yourself.
When you align with your design, you don’t just love better You live bigger.
The Real You Shows Up Everywhere
Your wiring doesn’t turn off when you leave a relationship
It shows up:
● In the way you speak up in meetings
● In how you process ideas or tension
● In how you handle pressure, deadlines, risk
● In the way you lead, support, create, or correct
When you know your position, you stop asking:
“What should I do?”
And you start asking:
“What am I built to do best?”
Let’s look at how each position plays in love, work, and purpose with power, not apology.
NORTH – The Visionary Leader
In love:
● You lead the relationship. You pursue, plan, protect.
● You’re most alive when there’s movement
● You value action over sentiment but when trusted, you open deeply
In work:
● You’re a builder, a driver, a decision-maker
● You thrive in pressure
● You innovate through clarity.
● You make things move when others freeze.
In purpose:
● You lead movements, teams, families, visions
● You bring courage where others bring comfort.
● Your gift is not “being in charge.” It’s seeing what others can’t and making it real.
Your alignment mantra:
“I lead with clarity, not control I offer direction without domination I move the world with vision and courage ”
EAST – The Creative Firestarter
In love:
● You bring vitality, surprise, and momentum
● You reawaken joy in tired hearts
● You show love in motion adventure, play, newness.
In work:
● You thrive in brainstorming, innovation, disruption
● You’re a culture-shifter A pattern-breaker
● You resist boxes and should never be managed like one.
In purpose:
● You energize spaces that have lost their spark
● You create what didn’t exist before
● Your gift isn’t just ideas it’s the courage to do things differently.
Your alignment mantra:
“I fuel joy, vision, and innovation I am not chaos I’m creation I change the room by showing up in full color.”
SOUTH – The Connector and Healer
In love:
● You create safety, depth, and emotional space.
● You hold people in ways they didn’t know they needed.
● Your love is devotional, subtle, and stabilizing
In work:
● You excel in team dynamics, coaching, relational leadership.
● You feel the emotional pulse of the room
● You bring culture, cohesion, and calm to pressure
In purpose:
● You bind the broken parts of systems, families, teams.
● You restore dignity where it was lost
● Your gift is not “being nice ” It’s relational wisdom that outlasts storms
Your alignment mantra:
“I heal through connection I unify without disappearing My power is felt, not forced and it holds people together.”
WEST – The Preserver and Precisionist
In love:
● You show up through structure, follow-through, and devotion
● You build trust slowly but permanently
● You protect love by protecting what matters
In work:
● You’re a systems-thinker, a truth-teller, a standard-bearer
● You manage risk, refine processes, and preserve excellence
● You don’t miss details and that saves everything.
In purpose:
● You hold the record The line The legacy
● You protect the future by refining the now
● Your gift is not “perfectionism.” It’s discernment and devotion to what lasts.
Your alignment mantra:
“I protect what matters I honor the details I build with precision so others can thrive in safety”
This Is What Real Confidence Feels Like
Confidence isn’t loud It isn’t performative It’s positional.
It’s the quiet, grounded energy of someone who knows what they’re here to give and stops trying to give what they’re not.
The moment you stop trying to do everything, and start offering your exact design, everything accelerates:
● Your energy stops leaking
● Your decisions get sharper
● Your relationships improve
● Your purpose feels cleaner
● Your leadership becomes effortless
Because you’re no longer battling yourself You’re moving from the core of your design.
You Are Not Random. You Are Required.
The world doesn’t need more hustle It needs more humans in alignment.
Imagine:
● Norths leading with vision
● Easts igniting systems with fire
● Souths restoring connection in divided cultures
● Wests protecting standards in a world addicted to shortcuts
That’s not fantasy.
That’s what happens when smart humans stop guessing and start playing their position.
And now?
You’re one of them.
Chapter 9: Who Are You Now?
The Final Mirror — And the Beginning of Everything
Take a breath
You’ve just walked through a sacred map a remembering of the design you’ve carried since birth
And maybe for the first time, you’re not confused.
You’re not apologizing
You’re not trying to shrink, fix, or explain yourself.
You’re just here.
In your wiring. In your rhythm In your truth
This is who you are.
Not the broken version
Not the masked version.
Not the version contorted to survive love, approval, or success
But the original version
The one underneath all the stories.
The one you’ve always been becoming
You Were Not Lost—You Were Unaware
You weren’t floating. You were positioned in the game of life
You weren’t random.You were responding to chaos, to fear, to pressure, to people who didn’t know how to see you
Every part of you
The leadership
The laughter
The silence.
The sensitivity
The storm
The shutdown.
The spark
The structure
All of it makes sense now
Because you’ve seen the map
And the map? Was never outside you.
It’s been inside you the entire time
You Are Not Just One Thing—But You Are Not All Things
You don’t need to be everything for everyone
You just need to be you, on purpose
Your job is not to balance yourself into blandness Your job is to play your position with skill and reverence:
North – Own your vision. Lead with clarity. Make the hard call with heart. East – Spark the room Create what’s never existed Show up with fire and follow-through South – Hold the tribe. Speak the truth gently. Love without erasing yourself. West – Protect what matters Set the standard Soften without collapsing the structure
You don’t need to be all four
You need to partner with the rest
You need to trust the circle you’re part of.
Because when you stay in your lane with skill? The whole world moves better
You’re Not Done. You’re Awake. This is just the beginning.
You will still catch yourself collapsing into patterns
You will still slip into old survival moves. You will still question your design on hard days
But now?
You’ll catch it sooner
You’ll recover faster.
You’ll forgive yourself more quickly
You’ll love yourself more honestly
Because now you know:
Why you react the way you do
What your heart is actually protecting
What your wiring is built to give
And how to move in the world with precision and peace
But this all takes time and practice to become who you are.
You can become…
Someone who knows.
Your position
Your shadow.
Your patterns of attraction
Your gifts in love and leadership
How to move differently.
And most of all?
You know you were never wrong. You were never “too much ”
You were never broken
You were born wired. And now you can run aligned
This is not the end.
This is your origin point. A new beginning.
From this place, you love smarter.
You lead clearer
You attract better
You trust yourself deeper.
You build what you were born to build
You’re not floating anymore.
You’re oriented
You’re not just reacting.
You’re moving
You’re not wondering who you are.
You know.
Final Words
You’ve done something sacred by remembering your wiring
Now you can live it
With clarity. With compassion
With full permission
Know yourself. Play your position.
Train with fierceness.
Love with wisdom. Be Coachable
Become who you were always designed to be.
Welcome to the next level of you
The one who no longer wonders.
Quick Reference Toolkit
A rapid guide to knowing, naming, and navigating your position in the world
NORTH The Visionary, The Decider, The Driver
Core Concern: Certainty Element: Air Season: Winter Role: Leads with vision, clarity, and strategic momentum
You prefer peace and logic over drama and spontaneity
You feel safe when things are predictable, planned, and true
Under Stress:
You withdraw emotionally
You critique everything to avoid feeling
You get stuck in overthinking
You enforce perfection over progress
Aligned Power Move:
Soften without losing structure
Speak even when it’s not polished
Trust that truth doesn’t require control
Let love be a little messy without being unsafe
How to Use This Toolkit:
When you feel overwhelmed → Ask: “What concern is activated in me?”
When you feel misunderstood → Ask: “What gift am I offering that’s being misread?”
When you’re stuck → Ask: “What would my aligned position do right now?”
When you’re ready to rise → Ask: “What does full, conscious power look like for me today?”
Final Reminder:
You can’t be all four positions You need to be fully YOU. Positioned. Clear Conscious Aligned. And unapologetically effective at your design Keep this guide close. But even more importantly keep your position sacred You were born wired Now you move awake.
Your next read should be: ‘The Playbook to the Game of Life’ You can find it at 4Crosslove.com/resources
