Our Youth Experience Vol. 3

¡OYE! NTSIA NOV! OUR YOUTH EXPERIENCES | VOLUME 3

The Youth Advocacy Leadership League (YALL) is a program of Youth Leadership Institute (yli). The YALL team is made up for Friday Night Live (FNL) leaders that represent each site across Fresno County. They work collaboratively to reduce underage drinking, tobacco and marijuana usage across Fresno County. To learn more, visit yli.org.

Funding for this project was provided by Faresno County Department of Behavioral Health, Public Behavioral Health Division.

— This zine is a project of Friday Night Live and YALL. It is brought to you by: Fresno County FNL Coordinator: Cynthia Rocha FNL Senior Program Manager: Emily Rivas FNL Program Manager: Julio Lopez FNL Program Coordinators: Daniel Gonzalez, Edith Martinez, Hilda Osuna Perez, JV Villarreal, Laura Hay, Mari Valencia Figueroa, Michelle Purnell, Valeria Salazar, and Zyanna Maynard Project Leads: Johnsen Del Rosario, Daniel Gonzalez, Valeria Salazar Design & Layout: Kody Stoebig | Translations: Jennifer Mandujano Cover Art: Nancy Aguilar Youth Contributors: Aileth Aguilar, Nancy Aguilar, Lykamae Alacar, Jacqueline Alvarez, Sela Bloodgood, Teirra Freeman, Jax Garcia, Jayden Guzman, Jaylen Guzman, Marisol Herrera, Kira Libke, Xitlali Paramo, Gabrielle Ramirez, Liz Salvador Leon, Fatima Sanchez, Zariyah Smith, Gilbert Tafoya, Melanie Vang, Alexis Zuniga — For more information, follow us on social media!

Friday Night Live: @cfnlp yli: @ylinstitute YALL: @fnlyall The kNOw & Betting On Our Future: @theknowfesno

Friday Night Live Chapters: Central Unified: centralunifiedfnl Edison: @efnl_cv Kerman: @kermanfnl Orange Cove: @orangecove_fnl Reedley: @rmchsfnl Roosevelt: @roosevelt_fnl Selma: @selmahighfnl_ Sunnyside: @sunnysidefnl

FINDING A HEALTHY ALTERNATIVE REASONS HIGH SCHOOL STUDENTS USE MARIJUANA

THE POSITIVE EFFECTS OF EXERCISE

Depression

According to the Mayo Clinic, exercise releases “feel good endorphins” that ease symptoms of depression

Anxiety

Both anxiety and the fight or flight reflex come from the same part of the brain. When you exercise, you can “trick” your brain into calming that reflex down to allow you to solve problems in a more rational manner

Sleep Problems / Insomnia

Exercise is a healthy and natural way to release energy, which leads to longer and better quality sleep

Focus / Concentration

Lack of focus often stems from having too much energy to sit still. Exercise is a natural release for all of that excess energy.

According to the National Library of Medicine, the main reasons for recreational marijuana use in minors is mental health related. Studies done by the Mayo Clinic show that exercise significantly decreases symptoms of depression and anxiety, both of which were listed as top reasons behind marijuana use in teens.

SMOKING IN A HOMELY ENVIRONMENT “Stay inside,” my grandmother called, her voice echoing in the now empty house. I peered around the corner and watched her shaky fingers slide the screen-door shut.

My family is outside, sitting around the wooden table and passing the single lighter that had yet to be lost.

I watched from the door. They brought the white stick stuck between their index and middle finger to their lips, inhaling slowly and exhaling a white cloud. Sometimes the white cloud blocked their faces, momentarily blinding young me. I thought it was beautiful. The way the smoke caught in the light, slowly changing from cumulus to cirrus.

But why was I not allowed to be outside with the adults? Why couldn’t I sit at the table and join in their conversation?

Occasionally, my breath felt trapped in my lungs. I couldn’t always get enough oxygen in, and it would cause coughing fits. I had to travel with a nebulizer packed amongst my clothes and toys like another item meant to play. My mother told me to use it only when necessary. She taught me how to turn it on and when to breathe in and out. In those moments, I felt like

my family. I would imagine being with them, outside with my stick. Clouds would be dancing around me, blocking someone else’s vision.

I believe my grandma told me to stay inside because she thought she was making a difference. Like the screen door filled with hundreds of holes could block out the snakey trail of clouds that beckoned me over. Like with each shaky breath, I couldn’t smell the smoke that laced her clothes, furniture, and house. It stuck to me like glue, following me home in wafts of coughing fits.

from my favorite store. That’s where my family often went, every week probably. At least every weekend.

My grandparents were smokers before I was born.

Cigarettes were normalized then. Cigarettes are normalized for me now too.

I figured everyone smoked at some point. They had to since it was a part of getting older.

Eventually, the smokers did follow me inside. I stopped using my nebulizer, somehow outgrowing my asthma. Of course, this took years. Young me stood in a sea of clouds for almost a decade, struggling to survive.

I inhaled the smell of smoke, familiarizing my brain with the scent of nicotine, and exhaled out the signs of addiction.

My dad’s family weren’t the only smokers I knew. My mom and stepdad preferred cigars, but they still lit up the garage and dragged the smoke in with them. I periodically stuck my head out to see my mom with one between her lips, flipping her novel to the next page. I would wait until she spotted me, snapping her hand to shoo me away. In those moments, I can remember my mom being a hypocrite.

She would speak angrily about my grandparents smoking around me, but the smoke she hugged me with was no better.

Once that blockage disappeared, people started to light one in the house.

Cigars and cigarettes, what’s the difference? A child should see nor smell neither.

From the opening in the living room, if I stood on the couch, I could see my grandparents placing their shaky hands on the box

My nana, my mom’s stepmom, hid the fact she smoked from her husband.

I visited her every summer, and every summer, she

either had tobacco gum or little cherry cigars. These had to be my favorite. They smelt sweet, mature even, like a treat made for adults only, wrapped in a simple brown paper.

My nana hid them in the same spot. Her purse had a pocket inside, almost unseen. To anyone who didn’t know this, they would miss it. Their hands would scrape along the sides, feeling for something but touching nothing.

Of course, I knew of the secret pocket. I watched my nana place her box inside countless times over the years. I also knew her sleeping schedule.

One summer, when I was maybe sixteen, I decided to try out what all of my family seemed to crave. I watched them for years. I’ve seen how they changed after each cig.

Everyone was doing it, and I decided to take the next step.

I remember waiting for everyone to go to bed. At the time, three people were living in the house. All of them had different schedules due to work. If I was fast enough, I could do it before the last person came home.

I snuck over to the table

containing the purse. My hands crept inside. My heart raced as I pictured the consequences of being found out. I traced the pocket, trying to find the opening. My finger slipped in, poking the box. Soon enough, my hand wrapped around the container.

I took one out, afraid my nana would notice if I grabbed anymore. I tried to place it back in the same position, probably failing with how nervous I was.

Then, I quickened my steps back into my nana’s room, hiding it under the bed frame.

That was my first successful steal. I didn’t stop there. I wasn’t alone often in the house, so I took to grabbing more. I noticed I could take two at a time. Three is when she started to question. I dialed it back, giving her a week to finish one box before swiping another.

By the end of the summer, I had about a handful. No one spotted me or stopped me.

I took them back home with me, stuffed in my glasses case. I tried a few times to light them. I would place them in the same manner as my family. My excitement would bubble, and then fear came. While no one had suffered the consequences

yet, I knew problems came from smoking.

I could end up with cancer, heart disease, stroke, lung diseases, diabetes, and immune system problems.

I could become an outlier, smoking at barely sixteen.

It turned out that my family wasn’t different. On February 6, 2022, my grandfather suddenly passed away from lung cancer. It came out of nowhere. I was not allowed to see him in his final hours as I was sick and could’ve made it worse.

Tobacco took my childhood away. It covered it in the stench, lacing around the only moments I had with my family. Tobacco almost took my teen years away. I almost ruined the rest of my life for a few moments to be like my family. Tobacco took my grandfather away. He helped raise me, and now I no longer can see him.

In my family, the next generation always follows the previous. For once, I want to be different. I want to live long enough to see what becomes of the next generation. Tobacco is dangerous, and I’m afraid to see what it will do next to my family.

by Jax Garcia

MENTAL HEALTH. IT’S REAL & IT’S IMPORTANT. Mental health is defined as encompassing emotional, psychological, and social well-being, influencing cognition, perception, and behavior. In other words, how an individual handles stress, interpersonal relationships, and decision-making.

According to a survey from Fresno County HYLP Civics Project, 74.5% of Latinas that took the survey felt that the topic of mental health was seen as a taboo issue in our community.

Living in a Hispanic household, I could agree with this. Having young immigrant parents meant that they really didn’t understand many things like mental health and how it affects us in our lives. Mental health for me is really important because it affects my daily life and how it will go. For me, it’s a sensitive topic to bring up because my parents don’t believe in mental health. They tend to brush it off without knowing they are brushing it off. My mom is starting to be a bit more understanding about it because she sees how my mental health is affected.

It was a complicated process for me to talk about the topic or even bring it up, but informing my parents and having open conversations with them has helped.

by Xitlali Paramo

-UNTITLEDEditor’s Note: This poem can be read up and down and backwards from the lowest line up.

You say you love me…

I know you don’t but I only want you I am intertwined with your life Your arms feel like home What are you waiting for Hold on to me and don’t let go This love is delicate The heart I carry lies full of romance The mind is a Polaroid of memories of you My love…

by Pirupi

GOODBYE DEPRESSION I can’t stay stuck in this place of sorrow I’m just wasting my time My life can be over in an instant I don’t want my last day to be filled with pain that I ignite I want to explore the beauty life brings with every day my heart beats Regretting my actions is what I choose to avoid I choose to take in the lessons I’m taught and use them to better myself Grow with the world around me rather than fight the roots

by Alexis Zuniga

on in This drawing represents what is very comm that Fresno. Smoke shops everywhere and ads d to target youth with flavored tobacco. I wantetobacco draw what I see every day, like the deals on shops. products in both convince stores and smoke

GOODBYE I don’t like to say goodbye.

Why would I when I know I’ll see you again?

See you sat regally on your favorite chair in the front yard.

Signature hat on and banda blasting from an ancient radio.

Smell your cologne of Levi denim and earthy musk.

Hear your booming voice joyously call my name.

Feel your embrace and hold your rough, callused hand.

-NO TITLE[1] Do you trust the gossip you’re given? Do you believe it to be true?

Has it served you? Understand knowledge is power, say what must not what you know. It spreads, it has impact. Know your words and mind them. I offer the wisdom of the magician, stand by your voice not by others for it’s blindly following words of assumptions and crudeness lies harsh judgment...

[2] I just woke up from a dream, I forced myself to draw what I remember.

I saw an aching hand pleading for a flourishing heart. They want to attempt to reach out but it hurts.

They don’t want pain from before.

They’re scared. Look to them and guide them there. It will hurt as a memory but they will see the love.

by Gilbert Tafoya

A routine that has been the same ever since my birth.

I never thought it would end.

The sun has set and the days rush past.

The world spins as if it has forgotten you.

I have not.

I don’t like to say goodbye, but there is no choice now.

I love you, I miss you, we’ll meet again.

Goodbye.

by Sela Bloodgood

Dear reader,

RALLY REFLECTION

We are members of the Central East High School Friday Night Live Chapter and this semester we worked on a positive social norms campaign to raise awareness of underage marijuana usage and the resources that are available to our peers in the community.

Our group has worked on researching and gathering data from the 2018/19 Fresno County Student Insight Survey to create uplifting stickers, posters, and an educational infographic.

We found that 40% of students think they would harm themselves with marijuana, 68% of students get marijuana from their friends, 83% of students think their parent/guardian will strongly disapprove of marijuana use, and 43% of students strongly disapprove of someone their age using marijuana.

Our group wanted to focus on providing uplifting messages and resources to our peers and community because it can be hard to find support when you are going through something.

To wrap up our campaign and showcase our positive social norms materials, our group co-hosted and planned a Prevention and Community rally with the Khair Internship. It was an educational rally filled with information and we invited community-based programs & organizations to come out to the table.

The following are our thoughts of the process and end result: “The rally definitely inspired my idea of what I would like to see on campus. It brought a lot of awareness to my peers and I think the whole experience was very positive.” - Zariyah Smith, 9th, Central East HS “Although I couldn’t attend, my experience in planning the rally was giving me ideas & helping plan it out thoughtfully.” - Gabrielle Ramirez, 9th, Central East HS “I would like to see more experiences of people getting engaged.” - Jaylen Guzman, 9th, Central East HS “This event did inspire me to help out Central East more and be involved because it’s very fun.” - Teirra Freeman, 9th, Central East HS “My experience with planning the rally was very eventful, and enjoyable. There were many ups and down to the rally but at the end everyone came together to really make it fun and encouraging. The planning built up the eventfulness and encouragement to make it good.”

- Jayden Guzman, 9th, Central East HS

by Central East High School Friday Night Live Chapter

FREEDOM Freedom. Like a bird and its soaring wings.

choking up, clenching his chest.

Stuck with both feet bolted to the concrete, a boy looks up and sees its magnificent wings flapping throughout the blue sky.

All he can do is watch it fly freely, without a care in the world.

The bird dives down to the boy, “You are the boy who seeks freedom, you’ll find that freedom soon.” The bird chirped. “I was once like you before. You’ll be okay.”

“I aspire to be like you,” the boy said, envying the bird flying above.

The boy looks up and makes out the bird to be a parasitic jaeger looking him straight in the eye.

The bird has seen that face many times. The “In my eyes, you’ll be the boy who seeks face of disappointment, the face that shows freedom, but until you find it, goodbye friend. the desperateness of the poor people I’ll find you soon. below who seek to be just like him.

The jaeger smoothly glides back up into the “I’m grateful I get to live this free life. I hope endless sky and flies off far into the sunset. you get to experience it soon,” he blessed the boy down below.

(This small excerpt was highly inspired by the anime “Attack on Titan”.)

“I feel trapped. All I can do is seek what I want most in life. Freedom,” the boy says,

by Melanie Vang

MY OWN STARS

HER SEA

People tell me to reach high for the stars That it’ll be worth it all No matter the scars To sacrifice night and day So I can reach this bright light I put in my all to touch it After a while, this didn’t feel right I take the time to think this through If I truly do want to continue to reach up high That I’ll be happy once the light is with me Saying that I’ll be happy would be a lie The stars aren’t for me They aren’t my goal I’m meant to reach for something else I can feel it within my soul I’ll find my own stars to reach for

Someone so sweet, I cannot believe was mine.

Waves flow like her gentle sway.

Why have you gone away?

Her touch, so warm, it’s like a bait.

Her embrace so light but full.

This is really my fate.

Why does the world have to be so cruel?

The sun so bright it hurts to gaze.

Her smile so bright, it does not faze.

Her touch may sink through the sand, But her memories will always stand.

It is so surreal, I question is this really real?

I grieve not seeing her at last, but she will not stay in the past.

by Nancy Aguilar

by Lykamae Alacar

THE AFTER EFFECT Smoke, chew, sniff, cigars, cigarettes, bidis, and kreteks are all forms of consuming tobacco.

It might seem cool at first glance but it can also be harmful. Of course, most people are aware of the consequences these products contain but end up brushing it aside and decide to focus on the pros it may have. Another variable is the people who tempt others to try products such as tobacco. It may only bring pleasure at the moment but it won’t stay like that forever. It has its limits as well in which it could result in bigger issues.

Just as there are many ways to consume tobacco products, there are different ways people are tempted to try these products without realizing the stuff that they consume can have serious consequences in the long run if consumed long-term. People are easily influenced by many factors such as peer pressure, misinformation, parental influence, advertising ad media influence, and stress relief. Consuming tobacco products long-term can result in medical issues, like lung diseases such as; emphysema and chronic bronchitis. That’s not all, there’s cancer, asthma, stroke and blood circulation, diabetes, infections, dental problems, and more. There are more side effects compared to pros that tobacco can have.

One must always look into things, and not just blindly consume products that can end up having side effects. Needless to say, there are many forms of tobacco prevention in our communities. One example is the increased taxation of tobacco products as well as when and where they can be used, it can take the form of police-level measures.

by Fatima Sanchez

Smoking causes your money to fly away.

Each time you smoke, it causes the blue sky to fade away where you smoke.

It also caused you to leave a messy trail of cigarette butts leading back to you.

YLI.ORG