Belonging (TYKM)

BELONGING

Belonging

“Where do I belong?” says Rina Sawayama as she opens her song “Chosen Family.” A track about the harsh lived experiences of queer people who fled their dangerous and unaccepting home lives in search for close kin to claim as their tribe. This is an experience that is not exclusive to the LGBTQ+ community. As humans, it’s so normal for us to constantly be on the lookout for other people who look like us, speak our language, understand our lived experiences and find similar joy through the media we intake.

Growing up, I had a vague understanding of my Mexican-American heritage. None of the elders in my life knew much about what part of Mexico their parents were from. I always felt like I was missing a huge part of my life throughout my adolescence. I realize, now, that I was missing culture. I lacked the ability to connect with peers in school. There was no link to bridge the gap of relatability which made those years so lonely. It wasn’t until high school where I grew into my queerness that I began to research LGBTQ+ history. My self-taught course on queer culture allowed me the space to discover my language, my customs, my lineage. Doing this allowed me to seek out similar individuals to share relatable experiences, use our slang, and be in community with one another. I finally felt my sense of belonging.

The beauty of our theme for this publication, which surrounds belonging, is being able to see our youth deepdive into the aspects that make them who they are. To see them share stories about their home lives, show items that make them feel safe, write about their friends or about the hobbies they have that espouses joy. It’s the same beauty that can be seen at our editorial meetings with youth from different parts of Fresno sitting around a table talking about TikToks that made them laugh or songs they’re currently listening to. As their adult ally, every week I get to see them bridge that gap of relatability in a space where they can always feel like they belong.

Youth Reporters of The kNOw & Journalists of Color:

Aileth Aguilar (she/her) | TKYM

Nancy Aguilar (she/her) | TKYM

Mohammad Al-Saber (he /him) | TKYM& JoC

Iliana Alfaro (she/her) | TKYM& JoC

Angel Alonso Arreola (he/him) | TKYM

Jazmin Alvarado (she/her) | TKYM& JoC

Ashley Barnica Puerto (she/her) | TKYM

Lorena Bernal (she/her) | TKYM

Sela Bloodgood (she/her) | TKYM

Mía Bulnes Martinez (she/her) | TKYM

Valeria Carrillo (she/her) | TKYM& JoC

Alastor Dillon-White (he/they) | TKYM& JoC

Gloria Flores (she/her) | TKYM& JoC

Judith Flores Mora (she/her) | TKYM& JoC

Michelle Gonzalez (she/her) | TKYM

Callisto Gutierrez (she/her) | TKYM

Melina Jauregui (she/her) | TKYM

Moises Jauregui (he/him) | TKYM

Samantha Jauregui (she/her) | TKYM

Kiera Kaiser (any pronouns) | TKYM

Ashens Limon (he/him) | TKYM

Abigail Luna (she/her) | TKYM

Ivan Manriquez (he/him) | TKYM

Pamela Martinez (she/her) | TKYM& JoC

Rosario Martinez (she/her) | TKYM& JoC

Soila Perez (she/her) | TKYM& JoC

Gilbert Tafoya (he/they) | TKYM& JoC

Maria Torres (she/her) | TKYM

Leslie Valverde (she/her) | TKYM& JoC

Andrew Vang (he/him) | TKYM& JoC

Sasha Velasquez (any pronouns) | TKYM

Alexis Zuniga (she/her) | TKYM

CoverArt: NancyAguilar (she/her) | Layout & Design: KodyStoebig (she/her)

Daniel Gonzalez

Johnsen Del Rosario Program Manager He/Him/His

Daniel Gonzalez Senior Program Coordinator He/They/Them

The Beauty of Art

by Aileth Aguilar

Belonging can have a different meaning to everybody. It can mean being able to connect with other people who share the same values as you, or finding a community of people who have the same hobby as you.

For me, drawing and art is what gives me that sense of belonging. It makes me feel like I have a place in the world.

I like creating art. Being a small artist makes me feel like I belong in the art community. We share the same aspects and are able to connect with each other.

We are able to draw our thoughts, emotions, and experiences. We are able to express our creativity.

I started off doodling in a regular notebook. I saw my sister draw these characters, and I thought I wanted to try drawing too. I found out it was a hobby of mine. At first, I just doodled some characters. I have to admit,

the drawings were pretty bad but I didn’t self-doubt myself simply because I wasn’t “good enough.”

I knew if I believed that it was good enough through my eyes, then that’s all I needed. Whether it was just stick figures, if I thought it was good, then it was good. And I think that’s the beauty of art.

Whether someone draws sticker figures or the Mona Lisa, they both come from the heart which creates a powerful emotional connection to the artist and everyone who views it. It creates a memory to cherish.

My sister took notice, and gave me a sketch book. I began to draw more often until I was able to find my own sense of art style.

For inspiration and reference, I look at and admire other artists’ and their artwork on Instagram. It’s quite beautiful to see, and it gives me a sense of

motivation; that I would be able to draw something similar if I just work hard enough.

It also helps me study other artists: the uniqueness they bring into their art and being able to see their perspective of the world through their eyes. And I love it when others get to see my point of view the world through mine.

There is a sense of community, and we’re able to make genuine connections with each other.

I studied every aspect of drawing during my free time. I am just beginning my journey as an artist, but a drawing can already help me communicate my ideas better than my words ever could. It makes me happy and it reduces the stress I experience at school.

In some ways, drawing relaxes me and helps me become more aware of my surroundings and how the visual world functions.

In Our Escape

We are told “you don’t know enough”

So we hide ourselves in the shadows

Trying to prove wrong their rebuff

The shadows transform into a bright illumination

As we light up the room

Painting an image of our imagination

From the depths of our soul

We begin to write song

To remind us of our goal

We then begin to feel the pressures of the crowds

Our mind tries to find a way out

Like the mountains when shrouded by clouds

In our escape

We light up the world

Thumping our feet to a new beat

We go where the wind takes us

And sometimes it may break us

But that only makes us stronger

So no more staying quiet

The passion of one’s work speaks louder than words

If ever in a moment of hesitance

Seek to ask yourself this question:

How can someone born to give light hide themselves in the shadows questioning your societal relevance?

by Judith Flores Mora

The Things That Make Us Belong

by Abigail Luna

Editor’sNote:Weallhavethingsinourlivesthatmeansignificantlymorethanourotherpersonalbelongings. Itmaybesomethingthatwasgiventoyoubyafriendorfamilymemberorsomethingyouboughtyourself. Itmayrepresentyouridentity,yourculture,yourreligion,oryoursexuality.Whateverthisitemis,youhold aspecialplaceforitinyourheart.Itgivesyouasenseofsecurity,love,safety,orbelonging.Weaskedthe youngpeopleofThekNOwYouthMediatosharewhatthatitemistothem,andwhatitmeanstothem.

Nancy Aguilar: Artificial Flower Arrangements in Glass Jars. I made some for me and my friends; I painted the lids with our favorite color, and used flowers they like or ones that reminded me of them. I made them so we can all have an item that connects us and reminds us of each other. My friends always made me feel like I belong and can be true to myself.

Aileth Aguilar:

An Alebrije from Mexico. Every time I see it, it reminds me of my culture and how I’m a part of it even though I wasn’t born in Mexico.

Melina Jauregui: Glasses. Without them, I feel uncomfortable and can’t see.

Kiera Kaiser: My dog. She makes me feel safe and loved :)

Alexis Zuniga: Journal and Poetry Book. They allowed me to open myself up completely and share every emotion I felt. It brought me clarity and was a source of my past and memories. I hold them dearly to my heart because it holds the stories of my life and journey on this Earth.

Mía Bulnes Martínez: I feel like my style of clothing is dependent on the event that I am going to. Whenever I decide what I am wearing based on the event I feel like I belong more to whatever event I might be attending. If I go to a place that is cultural and begin to see the culture in their clothing I can better see the history behind those stylistic decisions and I build even more respect for their culture and clothing style.

Samantha Jauregui: Creased-Up Pants. It’s a constant reminder of what makes me, me. Creasedup pants aren’t just for my representation of lifestyle and style, it’s a part of my discipline - the amount of time, effort, and patience that I put into them has a lot of meaning.

Sela Bloodgood: Sketchbook. It’s filled with all the memories I made over the years of hard work in college studying graphic design. It reminds me that I have flourished into a talented graphic designer and that I’ve put in the time and effort to belong amongst my peers.

Sasha Velasquez: Lesbian Flag. My orientation is such an integrated part of my life and having something as a little reminder of it is so affirming to my identity and the relationships I’ve built because of it.

Gloria Flores:

A wooden sign of La Virgen De Guadalupe. It was given to me by my parents which gives me a strong sense of belonging. Every time I look at it, I feel deeply connected to my home, my family, and our traditions.

Maria Torres:

A blank Canvas. I like to sometimes surround myself with empty sketchbooks and empty canvases because it helps me motivate myself to paint. It gives me a burst of creativity to put my mind into the real world.

Callisto Gutierrez:

A Minecraft Bee Plush. It gives me a sense of belonging because this game led me to having most of the friends I have now, and I always feel comforted when just passively playing Minecraft.

Beyond the Classroom: The Importance of Ethnic Studies

by Valeria Carrillo Velasco

Ethnic studies curriculum has been a hot topic amongst those involved in Fresno Unified the past couple of years starting with the passing of Assembly Bill 101, a bill that ensures ethnic studies will be taught in our California high school classrooms.

A discussion has been brought up about the importance of these classes and the role they will play in high school student’s education. Ethnic studies are essential to students’ sense of belonging in the classroom, with its focus on the experiences of people of color. Through my own experiences in my Chicano Studies at Edison High, I’ve found this to be true as I’ve developed a newfound perspective on my own culture and education.

If you’re unfamiliar with ethnic studies, Fresno Unified describes the curriculum as “the critical and interdisciplinary study of race, ethnicity, and indigeneity focused on the experiences and perspectives of people of color within and beyond the United States.”

Ethnic studies go beyond the history classroom and focuses on race, ethnicity, and even gender. With courses such as comprehensive ethnic studies, Chicano studies, and African American studies, students are encouraged to celebrate and honor, if not their own, different cultures and how they make up our world.

There is what’s described as “Guiding Values and Principles of Ethnic Studies” that include, but are not limited to, challenging racist, bigoted, and discriminatory beliefs, celebrating and honoring Native Peoples, and of course, connecting students to past social movements to build new possibilities for a post-racism society as well as pushing students to challenge systems that continue to perpetuate inequality. This year, I decided to enroll myself in a Chicano Studies class to see if this new curriculum was essential to students’ education. My findings have been positive; I’ve seen the things I’ve learned in my class to be not only critical to my growth as a Latina woman pursuing higher education but also my idea about education in general and my sense of belonging in the classroom.

I’m aware my positive experience in Chicano Studies isn’t enough to prove the importance of ethnic studies classes, but my classmates and teacher also have positive things to say about the class.

“I think it is important because you get familiar with your own culture,” Kiara Valenzuela said. “You get a break from the stereotypical American and European history and it’s actually interesting.”

“A lot of the stuff we talk about in here, I didn’t know until recently such as the Lemon Grove Incident - an

early case of school desegregation in the 1930s - and it’s important to learn about my own history and my own culture,” Valenzuela continued.

Juan Madriz added, “This class is important for people that want to know about their culture and traditions. I think it just depends on how people really feel about their past.”

Abraham Perez, the teacher teaching Chicano Studies for the first time this year, agreed with his students on why ethnic studies is so important.

“I’m very happy that we offer [these classes],” Perez said. “ All students should take this because it’s not just learning about other communities of color, but a crucial part of this course is to reflect and to question your own identity, and understand how you play a role in this struggle and this fight against oppression.”

But something that also adds to the complexities regarding a course such as this one is the arguments against it. Is it too violent to learn about? Have we progressed enough as a society to where race and ethnicity don’t need to be talked about more? Parents have argued that their children are learning an “upsetting” curriculum.

Terry Ortigoza disagreed with the parents, saying that students learn about the same type of curriculum in regular US History classes. And when it comes to discussing hard topics, Perez said he usually frontloads his students about what’s coming up.

“If we’re going to talk about something in particular that can be a trigger for them, I usually tell my students up front what we’ll be talking about,” Perez said. “For example, I’ll say, ‘We’ll be talking about immigration - if you don’t feel comfortable engaging in this material, that’s fine. If you need to step out, you may.’”

“I give options for my students to not feel like they’re forced to engage in conversations they might not feel comfortable about to do so,” he continued.

One of the misconceptions I feel that most have about courses such as this one and the deep dive into the history of race is that it’s all historical and hard to hear about. While I agree that there are hard topics, I feel it’s important to highlight what Ortigoza said - it’s nothing new.

A lot of the things we discuss and learn about prompt us to feel inspired and reflectful, not sad. We look at poems, movies, and art; things that are colorful and beautiful. The conversation that ethnic studies have prompted is one that has been discussed longer than we realize. There is an importance to learning about communities of color and AB 101 reflects that.

I was a bit hesitant to take this class at first. Growing up, like many Mexican American children and students, never knew where I really belonged. My experiences in life do not completely correlate with an Anglo-American perspective or with a Mexican perspective.

This class has allowed me the opportunity to learn that I’m not alone. This separation of race and ethnicity we’ve been subjected to has caused a devastating identity crisis in a lot of teens of color. It’s classes like Chicano Studies that I believe will allow students like me who have faced similar situations to learn about the fluidity of identity.

Where Do I Belong?

Where do I belong?

Here? There? Everywhere? Nowhere? No one ever told me where.

I sit and wonder, where is here? Is here there? My head could never seem to understand. A brown-skinned girl with Mexican roots and American-born.

They tell me, “You don’t belong here, You’re too Mexican to be American.”

Me dicen, “Eres muy Americana para ser Mexicana.” I used to sit confused thinking “Where do I belong?” But now I’m no longer confused. Now I know where I belong.

The Chicano community is where I belong. You’re not too Mexican, not too American. The Chicano community is where I’m understood and accepted. Where I can be the real me.

by Samantha Jauregui

Many Homes

by Nancy Aguilar

There are many places I call home

My first home a place with valleys and clear skies

With mostly rocky dirt roads to roam

Where I first opened my dark brown eyes

Both sides of my family tree reside here

My first home and family are always in my mind

I learned that my bond with them remains strong each year

My second home a place where palm trees grow and the cold sea is near Cool weather and the start of a coastal city life

With the perk of most of my family living close to here

We moved here for a better life but not without strife

The birthplace of my sister a lifelong friend

I spent most of my childhood years here

We had to move once again but my love for my family and home won’t end

My third home a place with valleys and farmland

At first with our family hours away we only had each other

Living far away with blazing summers and icy winters isn’t what we had planned

Soon enough my sister and I welcomed a baby brother

We started a tradition to visit family at least once a year

My love for my new home grew as I welcomed new friends

My friends helped me find my place in the world here

There are many places I call home in which I belong

Though each home is a place and each one is unique on it’s own

Choosing to belong to just one place would be wrong

I belong to all these places where I have grown

My loved ones connected me to these places all along

I will always find new spaces that I will call home

But to my loved ones is where I truly belong

Los 3 Reyes: A Taste of Oaxaca in Fresno

by Gloria Flores

You might think that the only way to experience the authentic flavors of Oaxaca is to travel to Mexico, but there is actually a small business in Tower District that is bringing those flavors to town.

Pedro Reyes and his wife, Irma Garcia, are the proud and dedicated owners of Los 3 Reyes, a small, familyowned business located at 49 E Olive Ave.

They offer a variety of treats from refreshing raspados and creamy ice cream to thirst-quenching agua frescas with every menu item carefully crafted to offer customers a true taste of Mexico.

Their journey began during Reyes’ childhood where he learned to make Oaxacan desserts by watching his father and working alongside him.

“We saw how everything was prepared, and we learned little by little,” Reyes recalled. “I never imagined that I would start a business but I thought ‘I already know a little about this,’ so we got the courage and that’s why we have this business.”

Over the past seven years, their business has been a favorite in the community, known for their authentic and

delicious Mexican flavors that keep customers coming back for more.

Javier Morales, a regular customer of Los 3 Reyes, said, “I think it’s really important to support small businesses like Los 3 Reyes because not only are we supporting a family but if we didn’t support local businesses, they would suffer financially because of larger chains of businesses.”

Unfortunately, like many other small businesses, the COVID-19 pandemic significantly impacted Los 3 Reyes as they worried about paying their rent and experienced a decrease in customers. On top of that, the business was targeted by thieves.

“This was a fear that we went

through for two years of the pandemic,” Reyes admitted. “It was a very delicate situation… but here we are.”

Despite the challenges they faced during the pandemic, the Reyes family expressed how they have found their sense of belonging through acceptance from the community.

“The community that surrounds my business are good people, they respond well. Latinos support each other very much,” Reyes said.

In addition to feeling accepted by the community, the Reyes family has also found a sense of belonging by staying connected to their cultural heritage. They not only surround themselves with other members of the Oaxacan community in Fresno but also primarily speak their native dialect of Mixteco.

In supporting Los 3 Reyes, we are not only helping the Reyes family sustain their livelihood and continue to grow but also contributing to the preservation of a business that is a diverse part of our community.

So next time you are in Tower District, stop by Los 3 Reyes for an authentic dessert that transports you to Oaxaca!

The Best Place To Be A Cat

by Maria Torres | Photos by Callisto Gutierrez

The Cat House on the Kings is a six-acre sanctuary that’s dedicated primarily to cats. They are a no-cage, no-kill sanctuary for rescued animals. They provide a healthy and safe environment for them until they can find a forever home. They also provide advice and education to others to improve animal safety and dealing with animal behavioral problems.

The sanctuary was founded in 1997 by Lynea Lattanzio who dedicated her own home and property to unwanted cats and

some dogs. She was a surgical veterinary technician, but after retiring, dedicated her time and money to helping unwanted cats. Her story started when she rescued 15 abandoned kittens from a local animal shelter and found a home for 96 cats that same year.

Lattanzio and the sanctuary do an amazing job of taking care of about 700 cats and kittens. Each one is given vaccinations, is spayed and neutered, and is given medical treatment if needed. Every

Estrangement

I used to feel like two left shoes, Estrangement is what I felt when I looked over at you, The crowds of people

The frivolous laughter they’d emanate The smiles plastered on their faces

As inside jokes are exchanged, I could smell their happiness from galaxies away,

Like roses, freshly diced lemons, sweet warm vanilla, That elusive feeling

So far.

So I yearned for years, For that sense of

animal in their sanctuary is available for adoption. The Cat House provides information on affordable low cost for spay and neuter surgery.

Currently, the sanctuary is going strong. They always take in animals and find a home for them or a nice sanctuary for them to live their life. They have amazing staff and volunteers that help the sanctuary be a loving area for the cats. If you ever want to adopt a cat, I suggest booking a tour with them.

Home Community Understanding Belonging, But one day, As I looked in the mirror I saw who robbed me Robbed me of joy

Memories I could have made Moments I could never get back People I could have met And loved.

And then I learned. For you could never belong, If you never try.

by Lorena Bernal

I Belong In Politics

My father stood in the doorway, looking more defeated than I had ever seen him. One side of his body was caked with dirt. One arm cradled the other in a makeshift sling. An hour later, my worried mother whisked him to the hospital, while my sister and I sat at home, fretting.

The tumble that broke my father’s arm as he fixed a car at work shattered our family. He was unable to return to work. One income, lost. Suddenly, I was responsible for our applications for food stamps and retirement benefits in order to ensure our bills would be paid.

Approved for both. It was the responsibility of the 16-year-old eldest child, already so familiar with filling out paperwork, because his parents didn’t understand how to navigate a new country by themselves.

A year later: Solemnly, my mother directed my father, sister, and me to take a seat. The sofa cushions underneath us gasped from the sudden impact of all three of us at once. Our eyes and ears were glued to my mother. Lips pressed, eyebrows furrowed, and eyes wide, she announced she had been laid off from her teaching job.

It was all too much. Both sources of income, lost. My jaw fell to the floor as my mind raced, searching for answers.

In a flurry, my ears still ringing from shock, I whipped out my MacBook. Within milliseconds, I had typed “unemployment” into Google Chrome. That same night, I had completed our application.

May 18, 2021 and June 10, 2022 are two dates I will never forget. Suddenly, my parents were both unemployed, our family at risk of slipping off the precipice of financial stability. Bewilderment. Panic. Fear. What do I

do?

Work.

Since spring 2022, I have worked three jobs — as a political canvasser, an organizing fellow, and a services aide. This past summer, I worked 55 hours a week to cover our bare necessities. When I went back to school, I kept working 20 hours a week, meaning I often wasn’t home until after 9 PM. It wasn’t always enough to make ends meet, but it allowed us to keep our heads above water, to stave off drowning.

I have always been interested in grassroots organizing, but my family’s sudden financial precarity increased my commitment. When I applied for work, I chose positions that would not only pay the bills, but would allow me to work on behalf of people experiencing the same sort of crises we were facing. Every week, I show up at my jobs eager to serve people who feel our pain.

by Mohammad Al-Saber

My heart rang, my stomach fluttered, my palms clammed up as I prepared to address the City Council about Fresno’s unprecedented housing crisis. I had been asked to deliver a speech as part of my job organizing for Power California Action, which works toward affordable housing solutions across the state.

“This should not be the reality of a city with a budget of $1.7 billion,” I declared, my voice reverberating throughout the 300,000 square feet of City Hall, bouncing off of the ‘In God We Trust’ sign behind the councilmembers. “When Fresno has community-based solutions, Fresnans will live more affordable and safer lives.”

The next day, the City Council approved a $2 million eviction protection program.

I know how uncertainty feels, from whether the EBT card has enough money to cover groceries to where the other half of rent money will come from. I am still in charge of my family’s finances — managing bank accounts, filling out government forms, supporting my parents and sister, doing whatever it takes. I am driven to prevent these outcomes from happening to other people, to build a brighter future for all.

No one claimed this work was easy, but it is worth it. Without it, hope for the future is extinct.

I Love You, I Love You Not

Sometimes I wonder if I’m missing something. Something in me that broke a long time ago or something I never had that makes me feel the way I do.

Romance is a part of the human experience. There are countless stories in the world about passionate romances and how love conquers all.

The idea of being blissfully in love has always made me feel warm and fuzzy. Just thinking about finding someone who loves and accepts me for all that I am is thrilling. Someone to grow old with and someone who would want to hold my hand even when my looks have faded and I have only my soul to bare. A love I see when my parents dance with each other, eyes locked and bodies moving together in an effortless rhythm decades in the making.

I’ve wondered what falling in love would feel like all my life. As I got older, however, it dawned on me that when I imagined my own epic romance, all I felt was fear.

It’s terrifying to wake up one day and realize that you may never truly be able to love like the people around you. Not because I didn’t have chances to talk to people or that I never tried, but because I have never felt comfortable pursuing anyone whom I didn’t know on every level. Certainly never someone who

asked for my number because they thought I was attractive.

I witnessed this a lot though. Acquaintances of mine would enter a relationship with someone because of their popularity or attractiveness, but nothing more. Never knowing things like how they treat their mother or what their worries are.

After dates, they would tell me all about their experience and be a bit too candid on intimate details that would make me uncomfortable. They seemed so happy though. So happy that I began to think of how weird my emotions were in comparison. I thought that I should make an effort to ignore the little voice in the back of my head that craved more than someone to tell me I’m pretty. So I did.

I ignored my innermost desires and tried to be “normal.” Tried to make myself into a person who I thought would guarantee me an epic romance. I hung out with vapid men while smiling and laughing at all of their dumb, unfunny jokes. I gossiped with mean-spirited women I now realize never truly accepted me. I did all of this, kept all of who I was and what I wanted close to my chest, and felt dreadfully lonely.

Now, at 22, I have a better understanding of how romance works for me. I’ve realized that people can be

by Polaris

great to look at. They can be pretty, handsome, beautiful, cute, and every other similar adjective out there to me. That’s usually it though. I don’t feel anything more about someone I’ve never met.

For a younger me, these were rather unfortunate feelings to piece together when figuring out who I was. After all, how was I supposed to find love if I was never really invested in someone? I realize now that if I were to fall in love, it’d be all or nothing. A fragile, but hopeful type of love that I can’t just share with just anyone. It has to be someone I trust implicitly. Even then, I am terrified of giving it away without knowing with almost one hundred percent certainty that everything will be alright.

That’s what love is though, isn’t it? Scary, confusing, and allconsuming. An insane bet you hope works out in your favor.

A moment that you hope lasts forever.

I haven’t found my love in the world yet, but I know now that the way I look for love is not wrong. Love is also not my end goal in life. Love has become a future luxury in my eyeslike keeping a precious wine bottle to open at the right moment and savor. Maybe in time, I’ll find it, but I think loving myself as much as I can, for now, is excellent practice for loving someone else.

Designing Your Way to Confidence

by Alexis Zuniga

As I approached my final moments at Fresno State, I began to reflect on my journey as a graphic designer.

I went into college knowing I wanted to major in something that incorporated advertising and art but I was unaware of the specific career path.

During my freshman year, I discovered graphic design which focused on digital art. I had never worked with Adobe Suite programs, but I had a willingness to learn something new.

What I was not prepared for was the many emotional ups and downs that came with learning the Adobe programs and creating digital art. I had this constant confusion of my state of belonging within the graphic design program.

In the beginning, I felt I was the only one struggling and feeling a sense of pressure to be perfect and efficient in my understanding of the programs.

I was experiencing imposter syndrome.

My self-doubt and lack of confidence as an artist trickled in with every challenging project and final design. There was a

constant comparison to my classmates and their designs. I often questioned if my design was eye-catching or if others liked it. Did I belong here? As the years continued, my

used for school projects, I was able to focus on designing my best work. To reflect this hard work, two of my pieces were selected to be showcased in the Fresno State Student Art Show.

During the award ceremony for the exhibition, they announced that one of my pieces won best of show in the graphic design category.

Surprised and thrilled with this announcement, I felt a sense of validation for my art because of its special recognition.

When it came to senior year, my emotions were on overload as I moved closer to the end of my journey at Fresno State. Projects were harder than before and expectations were high.

peers started gaining work experience with graphic design jobs. Although I was a full-time student, interning at marketing organizations and freelancing as a reporter with The kNOw Youth Media, I felt behind.

This pressure of needing work experience while in college in order to get a job or have a successful career consumed my thoughts. With the majority of my time

Even though it was the most challenging fall semester, I pushed myself to create professional designs that I could imagine within the world.

The work I produced was the best I had ever done. I was extremely proud of all the hard work I did and the designs I created. It showed me that I could succeed as a graphic designer.

With this collection of work, I submitted two projects

into a local graphic design competition, the American Advertising Federation Fresno.

I chose the designs I was most proud of in an attempt to be selected for an award. Proudly to announce, I was informed that both of my pieces were selected and won silver. This was such an honor and I felt I was worthy to be a graphic designer.

During all this excitement of awards, we were assigned to create our own brand for our final portfolio exhibition. This included a logo, portfolio book, website, resume, and promotional items that were displayed on a 4-by-8 foot board that I painted and installed with shelves.

The week of this show, leading up to the closing reception, I felt a lot of anxiety and self-doubt.

Seeing every designer’s board with their work was intimidating because of the amount of talent surrounding me.

Everyone’s brand was unique to their style and personalities which made me feel as though my work wasn’t strong enough or deserved to be in a room with such talent.

I think these feelings are something every designer feels but I understand that art is a matter of perspective and interest. During this two month project, I was overwhelmed with emotions. It made me anxious

Letters To My Younger Self

There will be moments where you will be filled with anxiety, Where you will not know where to turn or who to turn to You will begin to feel that there is no one to turn to at all. You will face moments of insecurity, self-doubt, and begin to harbor resentment toward yourself.

You will feel alone, unable to express yourself or how you’re feeling because no one will understand. You will begin to feel so inadequate and so generic. You will have to censor your truest-self in order to please everyone else.

You’ll hear, “Be a man, be tough, do not be weak.” And the pressure will be so unbearable. You’ll stop listening to your favorite music, Dressing how you want to, And overthink every movement you make.

But it will all be temporary.

You will grow into yourself completely. You will learn to embrace your sexuality, Your power, your confidence, and your pride. And it may all seem like a far away wish.

But time will show you that everything will truly get better. Experience will make you wiser. The people you meet will make you smarter. Heartbreak will make you stronger. And the things you learn will make you ready.

yet excited for the future. It allowed me to reflect on the projects I had completed, the organizations I joined and worked with, and the community of designers I grew with during my time at Fresno State.

Looking at all that I had accomplished made me feel proud of all my hard work within the last four years.

I may always struggle with my confidence as a designer, but I will never stop pushing myself to learn, grow, and work my hardest. It will be one thrilling roller coaster of an adventure but I am excited to see where my future will take me as a graphic designer.

by Ivan Manriquez

Things may seem like they never work out for you. But thinking like that is what will never work for you. You have always been stronger than you think, Or anyone else has ever made you think.

Remember to keep your head up, Your mind open, your back straight Your heart strong, and your chest high. Because everything will get better.

Living distinctly should never be shameful. Does a rainbow ever wish to carry dull colors? Should a tiger ever regret her stripes? Living distinctly is dinstinctfully vibrant.

Wishing to bound yourself into a cage keeps you from embracing your individuality. Allowing others to push you into that cage deprives you of your uniqueness. It can kill you.

Your shine, your love, and your uniqueness is supposed to shine through anything dull, Anything lifeless.

You are distinctly you, distinctly beautiful. Your soul, your heart, and your mind should never be silenced.

Dancing Against the Clock

Dance is a form of art that comes in many different styles such as ballet, contemporary, modern, tap, jazz, hiphop, tango, flamenco, and krumping to name a few. It is movements that allow people to express themselves and their feelings. It can be used to portray a story, a form of symbolism, or simply for the entertainment of others.

Dance requires extreme commitment and time to get better since it is a competitive field. Most dancers who dance professionally today began taking dance classes at a very early stage in their lives. Beginning dance at an early age is beneficial since it allows dancers to better understand the techniques they are taught and begin to form their lines; they have an opportunity to better comprehend what they are learning, and they have the ability to correct their forms and improve faster.

However, dancers who begin dancing at a later stage in life do not have the same experiences. They are exposed to more challenges and pressures if they wish to pursue dance as a profession. They missed precious time that would have allowed them to understand the basics of their form at an earlier stage. This puts them at a disadvantage compared to other dancers who have already mastered the basics at an early age.

These dancers are surrounded by others who have more years of experience. Being surrounded by others who are more advanced causes late bloomers to constantly compare their own progress to others, even when there’s nothing to compare.

For example, ballet is one of the most competitive dances where most of the dancers begin young because it is full of technique and discipline that is hard to master. Ballet dancers who began dancing earlier are usually on pointe by the age of 14 which is when many are just beginning to learn the form. Being on pointe requires an immense amount of strength since a dancer is supporting their entire body on the tip of their feet.

Being able to become a professional in these fields is very difficult since only a few dancers can become principal dancers. The majority of these principal dancers began at an early age and still have to compete against others.

This experience is more difficult for dancers who began at a later stage since they still do not have the same experiences and exposure that

by Rosario Martinez

other dancers have had in the field.

Although many dancers who began at a later stage are still very talented, they fall victim to their own pressures. They begin to question if this field is the right path for them and if they will ever be able to succeed. They become full of doubts about their potential to succeed and question if they are good enough.

Starting dance at a later stage is an obstacle for many

dancers who want to become professionals however it can be overcomed. These dancers just have to put in more effort to compensate for the time they missed.

They just have to be willing

to try and not fall under the pressures that beginning dance at a later age can bring.

Ultimately, dance is a form of art composed by movements that are open for everyone to interpret. Dance is full of

The Story of My Name

Mía Bulnes Martínez

The story of my name.

We give our own history to our name and it makes us who we are, but since before I was born, my name has had an interesting history. My dad was lucky enough to give me my two names:

“Mia” - he chose it from one of his favorite soccer players “Rowenna” - he chose it because of the book “Ivanhoe” by Walter Scott, a book of stories about noble families, romance, and drama, where there is a character named “Lady Rowena.”

My name told a story by itself, but it was my duty to give my name its own story.

I always wondered what

interesting things I would bring to my life?

Is what people expect of me what shapes me?

Do my achievements shape me as who I am?

So, the real question is… Who am I?

The only answer I can give, Socrates already said. “The only thing I know is that I know nothing, and I am not quite sure that I know that.”

I don’t know if there is an answer to that, I just know that I am a girl who grew up in Honduras for a large part of her childhood, and was filled with traditions and culture in that country.

different people with different skill levels that begin their journeys at different stages in their lives. But whether you start early in life or try to break through at a later age, it is never too late to learn a form of dance.

A girl who woke up every morning with the sound of a mother making breakfast and the warm good morning of a father.

A girl who the only thing she expected on Christmas was to throw sparklers at midnight with her cousins.

A girl who went out to visit her grandmother in a small and humble town where everyone knew each other.

A girl who did not look at the socioeconomic status where she lived.

Yes, that’s how I was when I was little and that’s how I was formed.

This is all a part of Me.

Defining Home: Family, Cities, & Houses

by Moises Jauregui

MY FAMILY IS MY HOME

A house is not a home. A home is made where you feel safe. The idea of coming home gives you a warm feeling no one can explain. It gives you strength to keep fighting when everything seems lost. Some people find a home in different places, but my home belongs where my family is.

My family is worth more than the shiniest diamond in the universe. They are the best support that even super glue can’t come close to. Others see them as sour, but they are sweeter than candy.

My family gives me motivation to try my best. I am blessed that I have found my home in my family and there is no need to seek a home.

Family love can sometimes be tough love, but tough love is still love. My family has been there in my toughest times and always will. They will move stars from the skies, will always be there to catch me when I fall, and will cheer the loudest for my success.

My family might not be perfect, but my family is my home. And above all, my home is perfect.

TIJUANA, LOS ANGELES, FRESNO, OR SOMEWHERE ELSE

For as long as I can remember, my family has never been in one place.

When I was born, I was born in Inglewood, Los Angeles. When my sisters were born, my family moved to Tijuana, Baja California.

When I was about eight or nine years old, we moved back to Fresno, California. So, I was never in one place and didn’t have a specific location to call home, but I knew that my future home is not where I have lived before.

I have this feeling that my home will be somewhere else. My feelings are telling me that I will be moving to Northern California. Something is telling me to move north. I still don’t know what is up there, but only time will tell. But as of right now, I am where I belong with my family.

FIRST HOUSE

It was November 2020 when we finally moved to our brand-new home. We have been looking for a house for a while but nothing.

I only got to visit two houses when my family was searching for a new house. One of the houses was amazing, but it didn’t give me home vibes. The other house gave me a warm, welcoming feeling that even the sun cannot match. We all fell in love with the house, and we even started to make plans like we were already living in that house.

At first, the house that we really liked had already had an offer. The house was almost close to being purchased, but at the last minute, they withdrew their offer. We then started talking with a real estate agent, and the agent helped us get a great offer on the house. We were able to finish escrow and finalized moving into the new house. As soon as we got the keys, I felt safe and at home.

Express Yourself, Don’t Repress Yourself

by Pamela Martinez

As cliché as it sounds, selfexpression is very important. It’s a human need. In fact, it is one of the greatest things you can do for yourself. The topic of self-expression itself isn’t talked about enough even though it is something that everyone does everyday unknowingly.

Self-expression is much more than the clothes you wear on your back. It can literally be any way you choose to express yourself. Whether it is the things you write or even the art you make, it is all self-expression. When you really think about it, almost everything you do goes back to it.

From the moment you get up in the morning and choose what clothes you put on to the music you listen to - you are expressing yourself. But have you ever wondered why you wear the clothes you do? Or why do you listen to that type of music?

According to Dr. Heejung Kim, a social psychologist, “Selfexpression is a notion that is closely associated with a horde of positive concepts, such as freedom, creativity, style, courage, self-assurance and even healing and spirituality.”

One of the easiest ways to express yourself is through clothing. It’s such an easy and fun way to differentiate yourself from others. It can help you develop your own sense of style and identity, especially for students in high school.

“It’s important to express

yourself so others can know the real you,” said Serena Pinon, a freshman at Kerman High School. “Be original and follow the trends you want to follow, but stay true to yourself and don’t let anyone influence you.”

Something so beautiful about self-expression is the diversity that comes with it. What we wear is always so much more than just a piece of fabric. People from all around the world wear specific clothing that often tells history, culture, and even religion.

To name a few, in India, women wear a garment called a sari that can be passed down

thoughts, feelings, and ideas.

For example, writing music or poetry is a great way to express yourself and discover who you really are. It can help you feel more confident and selfassured, but to also explore and challenge your own creativity. It’s a great way for you to inspire others and make a positive impact on the world.

Writing has always been a fun and creative outlet for me.

But one of the main reasons why I love it so much is because it gives me a chance for my voice to be heard. By sharing your own unique perspective on the world, you can help others see the world in a new light which helps gain a deeper understanding of the world around us.

Putting your feelings on paper can be a way to cope with difficult emotions and experiences. Expressing yourself through writing, art, and even clothing, helps you process your feelings in a healthy way.

through generations or even worn as everyday clothing. In Japan, they wear kimonos that can be worn by both men and women that are usually worn for weddings, special occasions, funerals, and festivals.

Self-expression also allows you to communicate through your

By expressing yourself through writing, clothes, and art, you are living your own authentic life by staying true to yourself, which helps create a life that is both fulfilling and meaningful.

Self-expression can be a way to celebrate your own individuality and embrace your own unique qualities. It can bring a sense of belonging and purpose in your life that you’ve never seen before.

by Sasha Velasquez

When we think about how we feel when we consume media, we may recall a plethora of different emotions. Sad movies make you feel sad, happy movies make you feel happy, and so on and so forth. However, there is an underlying emotion that we are likely to feel when we deeply connect with a character or concept in a piece of media, and that feeling is belonging.

Whether it be movies, TV shows, or books, great storytelling has the power to make us feel involved and represented in the things we hear and see.

While this feeling of belonging may seem rather arbitrary and unimportant to storytellers, it makes a world of a difference to the audiences who consume their projects.

People with marginalized ethnic and social backgrounds, sexuality and gender identities, or stigmatized trauma and disabilities may feel ostracized from society. They often feel alone or excluded from the basic human experience that seems to bind everyone else together.

Media has an extraordinary ability to recognize these people, to place them in the

books, shows, and movies they consume, and let them know that they are not alone.

Achieving a sense of belonging can be accomplished in several ways through media. It may be the conflict a character must overcome, a character’s personality or actions, or even just the color of their skin.

“Abbott Elementary,” a TV series created by Quinta Brunson, is about Black teachers as they work at a woefully underfunded elementary school. The show is a prime example of the difference that representation can make in media, and how it contributes to a significant feeling of belonging. Brunson not only made a show about Black characters, but she made it about their lives and struggles beyond their race.

By telling the story of Black people without prioritizing their racial struggles and trauma, Brunson creates a space for Black communities to identify and connect with the characters and storylines on a more personal level. She makes her audience feel like they belong.

Inclusiveness is not just important to adults. In fact, making children feel like they

belong is one of the most amazing things a piece of media can do.

“Encanto,” a Disney movie released in 2021, captures the essence of Latino culture in a fun, colorful, and sentimental way as it hones in on the rather large Madrigal family. The movie featured a diverse range of characters, so children could finally see their skin color, hair texture, and heritage reflected in a movie made just for them.

Social media posts started popping up from around the world as parents captured their children standing next to the TV, smiling as they stood next to an “Encanto” character that resembled them. Latino children began to feel like they belonged.

Media can even go further than character design and plot points to evoke a sense of belonging from its audience.

One of my favorite movies of all time is “Fantastic Mr. Fox,” and it creates such an extraordinary feeling of belonging for me. I don’t look like any of the characters, in fact, they’re all anthropomorphized foxes. What makes me feel so connected, though, is the actions of the main character,

“Our heroes feel like the best part of us, and stories feel perfect and powerful, because here, they are.” -Nicole Kidman

Mr. Fox. He struggles with his identity, and remains in a conflict throughout the movie regarding his constant need to outdo himself, hurting others in the process. I identified so much with this from the very first time I saw it. Although there was no explicit race, sexuality, or ethnicity from the movie I could connect to,

I deeply felt the emotions and behavior of the protagonist, and it was really fantastic.

If you have yet to find your piece of media that makes you feel like you belong, I encourage you to advocate for the representation you are entitled to. Media is undeniably one of the most significant

influences of our lives, which is why it should make us feel represented, seen, and heard. When we turn on our TVs or open a book, we should feel like we belong in the real world.

Remember, whether or not you have seen yourself mirrored in the movies you watch or the books you read, you do belong.

Editor’sNote:AsSashamentionedintheirarticle,themovie“FantasticMr.Fox”madethemfeel anextraordinarysenseofbelonging.WeaskedtheyoungpeopleofThekNOwYouthMediato sharewhatpieceofmedia(movie,TVshow,book,music)madethemfeelthesameway.

Sense 8 on Netflix. It’s all about humanity and what connects us to each other. The show aims to prove that everyone is connected in more ways than you could ever imagine, and the things that divide us seem really small after watching it.

(Kiera Kaiser)

Under the Same Moon directed by Patricia Riggen. When my mom immigrated to the United States, with the passage of time, I realized how much I really missed her, like the movie Under the Same Moon.

(Lesly Hernandez)

Before the Coffee Gets Cold by Toshikazu Kawaguchi. The book explores the beauty of human connection and the importance of living in the moment. It gave me a sense of belonging because it reminded me of how important it is to cherish my relationships with others and how we all share past regrets, but closure and forgiveness is possible.

(Gloria Flores)

Tangled and Tangled: The Series from Disney. I didn’t know why I was so drawn to Rapunzel until I was older, and that’s when I realized I was an artist all along. I resonated with her on pursuing her dreams and loved the powers she held. Watching the movie or show gives me the sense that I’m on the right path in doing what I love.

(Nancy Aguilar)

Coco from Disney. Mexico isn’t my country of origin, but it reminds me of the Latino culture in which I lived for a long time. It makes me feel like I’m at home.

(Mía Bulnes Martinez)

Saturn by Sleeping At Last. This song made me feel my existence was important and valued. The artist sings, “How rare and beautiful it is to even exist.” This lyric held so much power and encouragement in my life to fight through depression and seek a life that was fulfilling.

(Alexis Zuniga)

A Better Life directed by Chris Weitz. The story in it resonates with me and I feel understood knowing that others have similar experiences as well as struggles.

(Callisto Gutierrez)

Mi Familia directed by Gregory Nava. My family is chaotic and isn’t perfect, but we still love each other and are there for one another.

(Melina Jauregui)

Lilo and Stitch from Disney. I have about six Stitch stuffed animals that I like to collect. I have always felt a sense of safety and much happier when I’m watching the movie and the TV series.

(Maria Torres)

Nailed It! on Netflix. It’s a show about terrible bakers making even more terrible cakes, but at its core, I feel like it’s about never giving up and finding peace in chaos. These have gotten me through some dark days in my life, and I think the underlying message in Nailed It! can resonate with a lot of people. (Sela Bloodgood)

The kNOw Youth Media and Journalists of Color are programs of Youth Leadership Institute. Youth Leadership Institute builds communities where young people and their adult allies come together to create positive community change that promotes social justice and racial equity.

To find out more, visit: yli.org or theknowfresno.org