2019 XQQ

Cover is full size image with Text overlays

When Captain Vancouver sailed this coast he called what he saw the dreary wilderness, broken up only by the numerous towns and villages of people who had lived here since time immemorial. But here, the south island, with its Garry oaks and Camus fields was beautiful and different and he marked so on his maps. The beauty of these lands and seas remains today, as does the unbroken relationship with them by the people who lived here before us.

Co-op members acknowledge the territories of the different First Nations across BC where we live, work and play.

We are centered in Southern Vancouver Island and we thank the Coast Salish peoples for their hospitality.

We acknowledge the determination of genocide by the MMIWG commission. We acknowledge that as British Columbians, we are responsible for the just resolution of the largest un-treatied land area in North America, a duty long neglected, and that the Highway of Tears is part of our community.

We are treaty peoples, and we each choose daily whether we live here by agreement or occupation.

XQQ welcomes submissions from community members anywhere.

XQQ is produced by Leilani Jonas—Editor in Chief ChrŸs Tei—Production Issa Mistake—Proofing CONTRIBUTORS IN THIS ISSUE ChrŸs Tei—Ramblings

Edition

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Candlemas

Jan 21

Feb 2

Beltane

Apr 22

May 4

Pride

May 27

Jun 15

Lammas

Jul 22

Aug 1

Samhain

Oct 21

Oct 31

XQQ, Cross Queer Quarterly is published by five times a year and updated in between by

How to contact us Rainbow Health Co-operative c/o Victoria Native Friendship Centre 318 Regina Avenue Victoria, BC V8Z 1J6 Mail: PO Box 32 Sooke, BC V9Z 0E4 Email: editors@xqq.ca

Editor’s For those readers of XQQ who have had the opportunity to read some of our back issues, you may have noticed that there has often been a central theme governing the thread of articles, news stories, and other content. Yes, this has been purposeful but not always from the same starting position.

There have been times where we’ve sat down with a specific idea (like Pride or TDOR) and everything emanated outward from that point. Then, there were other issues (like Candlemas) where things came together, we looked at them and said: “Aha! Let’s connect the dots to bring out the central theme.”

polar model of extremes seems to be dominating global news headlines these days, with very little in the happy middle where we would prefer to spend most of our time.

Without getting into a ton of detail, our neighbours to the south continue to perpetuate SMH moments with insane legislation, court cases, news stories, and influencers saying outrageous things in an effort to satiate an increasingly jaded social media audience who don’t even get out of bed unless they’re sufficiently shocked or outraged to do so. We have election races all around the world where political party platforms and campaign promises range everyThe underlying theme for this iswhere from killing off the homosexsue (that you won’t likely see stat- uals to ensuring equitable access to ed explicitly other than here in the Edihealth for all, including trans people. tor’s note) is Love & Hate. If you Never has the stark contrast bejust raised an eyebrow, maybe it’s between love and hate been so upcause your editor, being of nonfront and in-your-face. binary gender, doesn’t have a particular In our own province, BC has seen like for (or need of) binary sysone of the most visible and spotems in general. Or perhaps it’s ken-about trans activists finally that we tend to prefer dwelling on see a modicum of justice in her the former while minimizing the impact favour, while an M.I.A. health minister of the latter. Like it or not, this refuses to engage with the trans community to answer even the most basic of questions about why people are being refused essential services under his watch.

(Edit: since I wrote this, we have actually received some communication from the minister;

Note

more info will follow). What’s funny though, is that while everyone is keen to call themselves an ally to the LGBTQ+ community, when it comes to actually doing something to demonstrate it, there are only tumbleweeds and crickets. With that kind of “love,” who needs hate?

Fortunately, it’s not all a Greek tragedy.

We refuse being chained to a rock while an eagle pecks out our liver daily, only to have it regenerate tomorrow and continue the torture. That is why we started XQQ and the Rainbow Health Cooperative. It is our mission to snap that little bastard’s neck and break the chains that bind us. One of the small ways that we show that love is stronger than hate is in the content of this magazine. You may notice a few more ads this issue, representing a cross section of businesses, individuals, and organizations who are committed to being inclusive, affirming, and supportive of the rainbow community. I would encourage everyone to support (and continue to support) those who are committed to love and who have made a conscious decision to govern their work by those principles.

With that, we hope you enjoy the issue and remember to tell everyone you know about us! Since this is our Pride issue, make sure your check out our Trans Guide to Pride and other great special features that we can’t wait to share with you! Also, please remember to follow us on social media! XQQ has a Facebook page and Twitter feed, where you’ll find regular updates and news that we couldn’t possibly fit into a single issue.

Letters to Editor The letters here are the opinions of the writer and do not reflect any position of this newspaper.

News Trans Need VICTORIA – Hundreds of protesters gathered in front of Windsor Park Pavilion in Oak Bay, after it had been learned by the community that Jenn Smith (he/him/his), a staunch opponent of SOGI 123, an educational approach used throughout public schools in British Columbia. Smith, who was sponsored by a religious group to go on a speaking tour of Vancouver Island, made his final stop in Oak Bay, after already having spoken in Duncan, Nanaimo, and Campbell River.

While protesters showed up en masse for all four venues, the large group that made its way to

the Oak Bay venue attracted significant attention from local news media as well as community leaders, politicians, and city council members. The title of Smith’s talk was “The Erosion of Freedom: How transgender politics in school and society is undermining our freedom and harming our women and children.”

Even an hour before the scheduled talk, community members

had already begun to congregate both in front of the venue and made their way inside as well, in order to be in attendance for the anticipated event. Attempts to convince the city of Oak Bay to cancel the lecture were unsuccessful, with mayor Kevin Murdoch, citing the lack of legal reason to do so. He did however issue the following statement.

“I believe we need to stand up and confirm that our society is an accepting and welcoming society for all.”

The mayor’s office went on to organize an event in support of the

LGBTQ+ community as well, to be held in another Oak Bay park, however the largest numbers present were at Windsor Park to protest Jenn Smith’s talk more directly.

While there were also some city counselors from neighbouring Victoria present as a show of solidarity with the LGBTQ+ community, speeches were given by Ryan Painter, the protest’s organizer, Randall Garrison (MP for Saanich,

News Trans Need Esquimalt, Sooke), and Morgane Oger, a transgender activist and founder of the Morgane Oger Foundation. Inside the venue, would-be attendees to Smith’s talk were outnumbered by protesters, and despite threats from Smith’s handler, representing the Canadian Christian Lobby, her security detail, consisting of several members of white supremacist group, Soldiers of Odin, and undercover Oak Bay Police officers, the protesters inside the venue successfully disrupted the lecture to the point that it had to be cancelled.

any hope of anybody being heard. Teachers’ Federation, and other Shortly after, uniformed Oak Bay community groups. Since its Police officers showed up and rollout in 2016, SOGI 123 has beended the event for fear of public come a part of public schools safety. Police Chief Andy Brinton across the province and continues said, “As the evening unfolded it to be taught with broad support became clear that due to the sig- from communities, educators and nificant number of people present students, although a few remnant and the manner they were adopposition groups still exist. dressing each other it would not be possible to ensure that continued public safety be maintained.”

No arrests were made and all parties left peacefully.

SOGI 123 (Sexual Orientation Gender Identity) is a method of teaching that recognizes and protects A number of Indigenous women students of all gender identities Although, this article focuses on stood in front of the lectern, sing- and sexual orientations from bul- the experiences of Trans women, I ing the Warrior Womens’ Song, as lying and stresses diversity and think this is an article that most if LGBTQ+ protesters yelled, jeered, acceptance in public schools. It not all of us who are part of the and used noisemakers whenever includes resources such as model transgender and non-binary comSmith or one of her team atlesson plans and discussion topics munities can relate. tempted to speak. Several minor that are appropriate for different We can feel so under attack colphysical altercations broke out ages and while it is not a curriculectively we lose sight that the between protesters and underlum, it is meant to be incorporated trans, Two-Spirit, nonbinary comcover police officers as well as into the existing school curriculum. munity is one of cross section and Smith’s security guards. At one It was created by the ARC Founintersectionality and the burden is point, someone pulled the fire dation in cooperation with the B.C. carried unevenly. alarm, which further drowned out Ministry of Education, the B.C.

Link to Original Article

News Trans Need A recent re-read of Dune lately, reminded me that in their world they had banned all thinking machines. Doesn’t seem likely any of us will give up our techno toys any time soon.

We have been clipping articles lately on the connection between technology and gender— or rather the concerns of how the bias of the dominant cis-normative social structure appears in the technology we use every day.

We might see Alexa et all as a consumer frill to enhance higher levels of consumption, which it obviously is, but it is much more as natural language becomes the primary interface to the machine based information systems that surround us.

Here is a different concern regarding tech and gender. This is a reflection on how gender is used as a classification element in facial recognition software and can result where someone is tagged as non-conforming durOne of systemic changes we are ing security screens. Even though working toward in the 0_CHI re- their ID matches their gender, the search project is to change how software is using different critesociety sees (our) the trans, Two- ria to determine who is what, and Spirit, nonbinary community. At may cause community members best we are viewed as an exotic experiencing additional scrutiny. part of the species, at worst a Link to Original Article deviation that must be stamped out wherever we appear. We need to begin where we are the ones to establish system-wide, functional descriptions of ourselves, and the condition which we experience. A condition that is different in everyone of us, yet still the same.

It is no accident that on-line assistants have what is considered feminine voices. They were typically programmed by white hetero/cis normative males. What is more concerning is what they consider appropriate responses to question no person would likely ask an actual woman. The gendering of table-top AI is incredibly problematic, as is what is being done with interactive ro- There has been skepticism about the introduction of table top AI bots. into the 0_CHI team, but perhaps The de-sensitizing of people defining a new gender model through the ubiquitous distribuneeds to assess the environment tion of porn is another instance it is occurring in. With eyes wide of where our lizard brains with openofound impact on the role their four million year old proof gender. grams are running up against Let's ask Lynn Conway. forces that are fully woven into Link to Original Article the fabric of today’s life, but have only been with us for years, not eons. We have no idea of where we are going.

Except that the cis-normative world seems so lacking of any sense of identity except for the weekly outrage of the tabloid press they feel the pressing need to co-opt others. Cultural (mis) appropriation takes on a whole new meaning with the trend of the moment of ‘straight prides’.

Link to Original Article

News Trans Need

VICTORIA – Fairfield United Church, known for its longstanding inclusive and affirming position for LGBTQ+ Christians, celebrated a first on June 9. Leilani Jonas, XQQ’s own editor-inchief and a member of this congregation of several years, marked a change of name.

Over 50 people attended the ceremony, with several XQQ staffers and Jonas’s family members in attendance While ceremonies marking a name change are not new even in the Christian tradition, the United Church of Canada does not have an official rite. Inspired by a ceremony used in the Memorial Congregational Church in Sudbury, Massachusetts, a new rite was created that could be used for anyone wishing to mark a name-changing milestone with the community and within their faith tradition. Jonas also shared a homily explaining the reasons and background for her choice, which XQQ is pleased to provide in a modified format here.

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News Trans Need Farmer Opens Sanctuary For NonBinary Hogs

n’t like that one bit. So I says to Claire: let’s make him a sanctuary and for other pigs just like him.”

ABBOTSFORD, BC, April 29, 2019 / CBSNW/ - Alfred Pinkelton, owner and Pinkelton then described his intentions spokesman for Pinkelton Hog Farms to end his current operations and reLtd., has announced the creation of a brand his enterprise as one that would new animal sanctuary for gender non- take in and care for gender nonbinary hogs that would be otherwise conforming swine of all types. destined for slaughter. The announce“We’re gonna have an animal psycholoment came on the heels of a major, logist on-hand who can council the anical protest in which hundreds of Vegans mals and find out whether they identify descended on another Abbotsfordas boy pigs or girl pigs. And then we can based hog farm, with claims of animal let ‘em roam free with their own kind cruelty and demands that the operation out in the fields.” be shut down. Pinkelton spoke to XQQ in an exclusive interview and offered the When asked about the costs involved in such a major operation restructuring, following statement.

Pinkelton remained optimistic that he “I was watching them Vegans on TV could gather donations from his church and how they was so passionate about and the local community. The estimate them hogs. So it got me thinkin’ that I obtained by XQQ from Jaycee Pinkelshould do something. I figured that I ton, Alfred Pinkelton’s cousin and Chief might be next. So rather than waitin’ for Financial Officer (CFO), was for $6.9 them Vegans to come take over my million, not including the ongoing costs farm I decided to make something spefor care of the animals that would no cial. So I says to my missus: ‘Hey, Claire. longer be sold for meat. XQQ also C’mere for a sec. Look at what’s on the asked Pinkelton what would happen to TV.’ And that’s when she says to me, any animals that weren’t trans or non‘Cripes, Alfie. They’re comin’ for us next. binary.

We oughtta do somethin’ before it’s too late.’ And that’s when she reminded me “That’s a good question. So I was talkthat we had this one sow named Jessie ing to a real nice man from Maple Leaf who was always acting like the boy pigs Foods who said we could send all the cis all the time. And I remembered this TLC and straight pigs to him. He said they’d documentary I watched one time about treat ‘em real good over there and that trans people and whatnot. So I was like, I could rest assured that they’d find their way into good homes.” that’s it! I know what’s up. Jessie’s no sow. No sir. She’s a boar but just no one XQQ was unable to reach a spokesperdidn’t tell her no different and he’s just son from Maple Leaf Foods to coma bit confused. And I’m a good Christian. ment at the time of I don’t wanna kill no hog that lived his whole life all confused like. Jesus would-

News Trans Need Andrew Wilkinson Comes Out As Trans; BC Liberals Announce New Trans Platform

Tegart went on to confirm a new par- unable to confirm or disconfirm the ty platform and strategy for the next existence of the health ministry and is election cycle. not prepared to comment on whether trans people do or do not, in fact exist in the province of British ColumVICTORIA, BC, April 1, 2019 /CBSNW/ - “We are also proud to announce our bia.”

In a shocking public announcement at new party slogan: ‘TRANS-forming the BC Legislature today, Liberal Op- The Future of BC.’ And please note position Leader, Andrew Wilkinson the all-caps on TRANS. You all got the declared she was, in fact, female. At double-entendre, right? Also, effecan impromptu press conference, Wil- tive immediately, all new BC Liberal kinson issued the following statement candidates must be trans or gender to the press. non-binary. Trudeau showed us the way with a 50% female caucus. Well we figured: if he could do it, we may “I am proud to say to all British Coas well go whole-hog on this and evelumbians, that today marks a new ryone will need to be trans in order chapter in provincial politics and my for this thing to work.” own personal journey. As most of you are already aware, I am, and always have been, a woman. Don’t let the When asked about his own transition, grey, drab suit fool you! Underneath I Tegart was not willing to provide any assure you I am wearing baby blue, details, although he hinted at the pink, and white panties that were possibility of an upcoming phalloplassewn from discarded trans flags ty prior to the next BC election. gathered at a recent anti-SOGI rally.”

Wilkinson went on to say that effective immediately, she would be pursuing HRT (hormone replacement therapy) with the eventual aim of obtaining gender confirmation surgery. Wilkinson was not able to confirm a “We are all behind Ms. Wilkinson one timeline for these procedures, and hundred percent. Of course, we all Health Minister Adrian Dix was silent knew it all along but were just waiting on whether the MLA would qualify to until she was ready to announce it – receive public funding for her procepreferably during a non-election year dure, but his office offered the folso that people couldn’t accuse us of lowing statement. using this as a way to solicit more votes.”

“At this time, Health Minister Dix is Jackie Tegart, Opposition Caucus Chair, spoke out in support of Wilkinson’s decision.

XQ Interview We recently connected with Morgane at a local rally where community members turned out to show their support for BC’s Ministry Of Education anti-bullying resource— SOGI 123. We got a chance to chat soon after.

XQQ: Hello Morgane. Thanks for taking the time to chat and tell us about what’s going on in your life these days. Community members are always interested in what our advocates are working on, but people also want to hear your story. I wondered if we could just start with a quick biography.

was an abomination.

I had more than one society's values talking to me so I knew that there were inconsistencies in these values and therefore society values are relative. I think that it really helped keep me solid. I think that's why I've managed to survive politics so far.

I've lived in a pile of countries, France, Switzerland, England, Germany, Morgane: Well let's see, I’m in my Netherlands, Moroc50’s, I’m the mom of two cool co, The United tweens, I live in downtown VancouStates, and Canada. ver in a housing society, I was born I've been an immiin France, I started my medical tran- grant in four counsition quite late. I tried to come out a tries, so I undernumber of times, and I was always stand immigrants. met with pushback and pathologizBut mind you, I was ing therapies. I would say I kind of always an immigave up and finally transitioned in grant in European my 40s. countries so I never Ultimately, the clincher for me was I felt racialized., and know my experience just couldn’t stand living my old life is very different and I also found myself telling my from people of colchildren to be true to themselves. our. Racism, and all And I just snapped and that's the thing. I had an advantage because I of these stigmas that are based on moved around a lot, which really supremacy are helped me because what came out of that was I never settled down into equivalent in my eyes. The harm is a society that would tell me that I

The XQ different, the pain is different, but they are equivalent. That's at the basis of a lot of my advocacy. I don’t live an indigenous life, and I’m not a black person, and I wasn’t groomed from birth to be a girl. I have a different experience than those, nonetheless, I understand some of the aspects of these things as I experienced them myself.

Now I’m in a relationship with a butch Latina and its super nice. We have been together for a few years.

entered a political machine. You can only get so far as an advocate. I found the machine that worked for me, I found the NDP. I love the NDP and all its complexities, I am an NDP politician, a new democrat. It was strange to fit in there, as on the one hand as one of my ancestors founded the French Communist Party. On the other hand I have executive experience in investment and commercial banking, and military work.

I have an atypical background and it came together, first as an organizer I’m in politics. I entered politics basithen a politician. Then I developed cally to give myself an advocacy. I some pretty strong organizer skills realized that we weren't going to get as it turns out. trans rights in BC, or federally, and I went to the next step and actually I became adept at fighting inside of the federal tribunals helping my own kids, but ending up in my own fight. It turns out that I did quite well and I succeeded in that.

curdling years. Nobody would say that what I did was easy and accessible. I was very lucky that the lawyers who represented me didn’t charge me for this. In a case involving precedent, it’s possible to get lawyers that will not make you pay.

The number of lawyers that worked on this case is unbelievable, 8 lawyers spent two years on it.

XQQ: On your side alone or in total?

Morgane: In total I would say, but on my side it was one lawyer for two years and one lawyer for half a year. It's a very important case. The ruling states that you can’t wrap yourself up in your belief, or free expression to incite hatred or to discriminate against someone, or in order to incite discrimination, or urge people to discriminate. That’s a big one.

Of course, an appeal is probably inevitable but right now I won and I’m thinking that we are going to be successful. But it was awful, they tried XQQ: Congratula- everything to break me, these peotions on winning ple. They lied all the time. They were your case at the trying tricks and ludicrous things, BC Human Rights thinking that lawyers aren’t compeTribunal. Tell us tent. Ultimately we succeeded, we more about that. have this precedent and it's being How long did it used as a precedent by others altake? ready.

Morgane: Yes I succeeded. It took two years, Two long awful blood-

XQQ: Can human rights tribunal judgements be transferred into civil litigation or criminal court? Can they cited as precedent?

Interview Morgane: It can be cited. It's a misunderstanding that because it's an administrative body it's not a judgement.

There were three members of the panel. One of the members had been at the ICC criminal dealing with war crimes and crimes against humanity. These are senior people, very experienced judges. They make a ruling but that ruling is just a legal ruling and that legal ruling can be appealed in courts, in the supreme court of BC. If it is not appealed and overturned, it's a legal judgement.

Going to the supreme court of Canada makes no difference. Of course if it’s upheld in supreme court, it becomes bulletproof. Anybody could appeal this ruling at any time at each level until it's confirmed to the next level. So its citable, it's binding and its decisions are enforceable.

That's all there is to it.

XQQ: Was there actually a cash award out of the decision?

Morgane: There was, it was a two part award. I believe it’s a record breaking award. Half of the 55 thousand was for the harm that this man did and discrimination, that is, it was reparations. The other half was punishment for the outrageous behavior of the respondents. William Whatcott behaved outrageously during the proceedings. He wore a tshirt saying that said no matter how I see the laws I’m still a man. He was

awful, he passed out propaganda, he filmed, he did all these bad things ,and he was punished for it.

It's quite a severe punishment, the tribunal was displeased with his behavior.

unlikely. William Whatcott is very carefully staying destitute and he probably has no assets that can be gone after. But there are other ways to order him to pay. He will refuse it, he might say I can't afford it, or he might say I refuse to pay. If he refusXQQ: What do you see as an accomes to pay, he might go to jail for plishment from this aspect of the contempt of court. case?

I fully intend to take this to the ends Morgane: I think people now better of the earth on this man. This is not understand how binding a court rulthe first time he's done this. It’s outing is. That you do not mess with the rageous. I think if people go to jail ruling of a court or with its authority over their misbehavior they will think because courts can’t afford to have twice and they will make other peotheir authority questioned. Thereple think twice. fore they have unlimited power to escalate. People don't understand XQQ: Do you think for others experithat well enough that the conseencing similar things that a human quence of defying a court is called contempt of court and contempt of court sends you to prison. That’s a big deal, you could end up in a serious situation.

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So, 55 thousand dollars and I'll never ever see the money, it is extremely

The XQ rights complaint is an appropriate option? What would be the factors to help somebody decide that?

Morgane: That's a very tough one.

First I think it's important to recognize this happened in a civil court.

People talk about hate speech, hate crimes, and the Human Rights Tribunal together, but they are very different things. If you go to through the criminal court to resolve an incident of someone inciting hatred, the test for this is enormous. You don't get to decide if charges are laid, you only get to make a complaint. To file a complaint regarding an act of hatred against me that's not violence, then they say thank you and file it.

It's almost zero chance there would be any action by the police and I would have to transfer it to civil court. It’s very hard to get a charge and even harder to get a conviction.

Violations include a toxic environment, refusal of service, toxic environment at work, or being fired because of who you are. Then you have a case.

However you have to be able to prove it with a piece of paper produced by the person or service that says because you are something you are being treated differently.

Or it could be a pattern of behavior that lasts and lasts but it has to be provable.

that is the same level of accountability as if it was a piece of paper. And the ability to escalate an issue, so when it's consistent and persistent, then you get into real consequences, in civil law.

XQQ: We were talking about when to go to criminal, civil court, or the tribunal. You were distinguishing between them.

Morgane: The tribunal is where the B.C. human rights law is arbitrated, that is the B.C. Human Rights Code.

But you have to have proof. There's When you think of the Angela Dawanother thing you can do which is son case where she was discriminatlibel and defamation. Libel and defaed against by the Vancouver police, mation is people writing or saying the police left notes in their log callthings that harm you and your repuing her a man and making fun of tation and your ability to earn inher, that was the deciding factor. come, based on what they said. BaIn the Whatcott case it was a physi- sically people lying about you to cal piece of paper, where he wrote it hurt you. There's something interestwas an impossibility that I was a ing there, which is not used enough, woman, that was the clincher.

In a civil court of course, we can say which is the fact that it doesn't matit was a human rights violation, so if Important to note, all misconduct is ter if they believe it's true. you have evidence that you were not covered under human rights law. For example, when someone says discriminated against in housing, There is no law controlling online Morgane Oger is a man, which hapemployment or by anyone providing conduct in Canada and that's a pens a lot online, I could go after a service. there is an opportunity to problem I’m trying to address. I went them with libel, because, in fact, it’s have your case heard by the court. to speak to the House of Commons not true. There is a way to test this, Providing a service means any time Standing Committee on Human which is to look up my documentayou interact with a business or an Rights in May regarding this issue. I tion, because that's how we identify agency of any kind. For example gave testimony including 6 recomwho is or is not a man. My docugetting an ice cream, getting your mendations from the foundation ments will say "woman", and that's driver's license, buying sugar, or and I was pleased to see my recom- all there is to it. Then they'll go, "No, having someone mow your lawn. mendations included in their report. I meant biological man.", and then I These things are services normally can say, "Oh yeah? Prove it." Then Ultimately, my recommendation available to the public. you go down the rabbit hole of what was— hold the ISPs accountable,

Interview makes a man a man or what makes There is also criminal defamation, solidated 911 response center on the a woman a woman. It's hurtful. It's but it's almost never used. island, the operators get training in an awful case. Nobody wants to do it hate incident management and that In the Criminal Code it's Section 319, because it involves, basically, people there is a process so a hate incident which is inciting hatred likely to talking shit about me for months, report can flow through to the apcause disturbance. That's also albut that's possible. People do have propriate police force. most never used. It’s been used, like, the ability to go to court. three times in Canada. As to criminal Morgane: That would be nice.

Still, the nice thing about tort law, court, non-violent hatred will never XQQ: When the NDP provincial govwhich is wonderful, tort law has unbring in a criminal code charge. It's ernment came back in, there was a limited remedies. Penalties can be extremely unlikely. Don't waste the change in the Human Rights Comwhatever the courts assign. Where- time. Report it. Report it because if mission. Is that when the tribunal as, the human rights tribunal is basi- you report it, it gets counted, but was re-established? cally the small claims court of atdon't expect redress.

Morgane: Not the tribunal, not the tacks on dignity. That's basically the XQQ: One of the things Rainbow rights tribunal, the Commission. B.C. way it's done. You have the human Health is working on with Organizing had been pared down to just the trirights tribunal for human rights Against Racism and Hatred Victoria bunal, just to address complaints in code, and you have access to tort (OARH) is on their hate incident procourts. It was just a court layer. The law for libel and for defamation. tocol. The hope is that with the conNDP in British Columbia put back the

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The XQ Human Rights Commission and asmarginalized communities. Essentialsigned a Commissioner. (Kasari Gov- ly, we're trying to deal with stigmaender) She's from West Coast LEAF. driven diversions from applying the West Coast LEAF was an intervener law. What drove it, was that I was in my tribunal case. It was well done. getting ... me and the crew that I A great choice. The Commission's job work with who been part of my adis, of course, to pursue and move vocacy now for a number of years, forward issues of human rights that we were starting to notice that alneed to be addressed. Issues that most all the work we were doing was are more broadly socially than a in B.C., and it was as individuals. specific complaint. Tribunals are a Individuals doing work don't have complaint-based system. the longevity of an organization.

And policy. For example, the Human Eventually I will move on to other Rights Commission would be the things, let's say, politics. Then the place that I would go to, to ask that things that have happened will stick all contracts between B.C. instituto me, but they will become a polititions and societies that provide ser- cal tool, rather than being an organvices include requirements for proization's social progress tool. We hibiting discrimination, for example, identified that, if we had an organigender identity or race. We have zation that did this, it would work serious problems with non-profits well. and charities pretending to be incluWe based it off of The Broadbent sive, but actually discriminating Institute. We did a lot of consulting against people on prohibited with organizations that do things to grounds. That would be a place we move the dial forward on improving would do that. society. What we found was that XQQ: Give us the background on the there was a model to apply, and the Morgane Oger Foundation. How did model is that we have spokesperit come about? sons that have expertise in certain things. Right now, we've been very Morgane: I founded the Morgane loud on LGBT issues. Then we have Oger Foundation in 2017. I think it an advisory committee, with a dozen became official in 2018, when we anseats, that provides the wisdom and nounced it and the paperwork all the soul and the fire. They come came in. The purpose of the Foundafrom intersectional members of multion is to narrow the gap between tiple marginalized groups, or people Canada's human rights laws, as who have something that needs to they're written, and the experience be changed, that is compatible with lived on the ground by people in our human rights law. We use the

human rights law definitions to decide who should be into this group.

We try to get an elder and a young'un from each identified community. At least two, to try to get the fire and the wisdom together. We mix it up. Our advisory committee is reasonably informal. The whole point of the advisory committee is to have people to tap for advice and for soul, so that our spokespersons don't go off on tangents, or step on others. I shouldn't be talking about disability rights too much. It's really not my wheelhouse to talk about.

We should have someone who can talk about that.

We've been primarily focused on transgender rights, SOGI policy and reproductive independence. The right to choose. Those are the things that we're working on the most right now. We're also building the Canadian Atlas of Populistic Extremism.

(CAPE) XQQ: Where are you at on that project?

Morgane: We're at the architecture level right now. We're building the architecture. It's the most important part. You really want to put as much money as possible, and time, into getting the designs right so that you don't go and have to fix stuff.

We recruited, like, 2,000 people with knowledge in GIS and in apps and in databases to work with this. We're trying to get funding and support

Interview from lawyers and from universities.

Legal advice is an important part of this. We don't want to stray out of the doing good part of the thing into the danger zones. We're very mindful about that. We don't want something like Creep Catchers. We don't want to turn into something like this.

That's so dangerous.

Morgane: Yes, it is a path I did not expect. I didn't think I'd find myself investigating a transgender person accused of being an online predator.

I didn't think I'd sit at the side of a transgender serving a life in prison for crimes that involved children and death. I didn't think I'd be the person who gets reports of police violence or mob killings, from the mob, I The idea, when it's done, is that mean. This is hard on a soul. I don't we're going to have a facility availaknow where you are, at in all this but ble to organizations on which they it's hard on the soul. can map incidents that meet their mandate. For example, people have XQQ: I don't know how you do it. I asked us about mapping homopho- know some community members bic and transphobic incidents in de- somehow can be in the public space, veloping countries that are suscepti- but I'm always concerned about seeble to hatred, because they have ing a picture of myself somewhere. anti-LGBT law. Where they can't go You're just out there and I admire it and complain to the local authoriso much, because it is nothing I ties. We would track these things. could ever do.

with other parties as well. I'm not only working with my party and I'm very careful to not politicize, with partisan politics, things that have to do with human rights. Things that have to do with human rights are too important. If I can get the Conservative people to do something good, I get them to do something good and then we move on. I let them do it in their own story. If they didn't do something, I ask. Or if one of theirs does something bad, I'll jump on that one. We're all supposed to be in this. That social good thing and the politics thing and the social policy, we're supposedly in this, all of us, to make the world a better place.

I think it's important that we actually do that. All of us have to work together to make the world an actual People send me the most awful Morgane: I think I get to enjoy a cerbetter place. And we've come a long stuff. Recently I got a video I think tain luxury of being protected by my way. Along the way, the foundation was a live video while it was happen- activities in politics. I think that's a of our work was set by people who ing, of a, I believe it was a Ugandan major factor. In politics, there's this had a very different existence than transgender woman, being beaten brand you have to manage. The you and I had. to death in Kenya. brand that I got into politics on is that I fight for people and that I tell Trans people who were out 20 years XQQ: Oh my God. the truth. I think that that is what ago, 30 years ago, gay men and lesMorgane: Awful. These are commu- makes it possible for the politics to bians who fought for rights that are nities I know. I've been trying to help protect me. They let me in on that, now taken for granted in our cohort. refugees in the Kenyan refugee so they can't not let me continue.

Even the lesbians and the women camps. This is why they hooked me who hate trans women on the basis Speaking truth to power is what I am up on this video as it was happening. that we are not really women, or supposedly renowned for. I'm trying Oh my God. who say hateful things about us beto be that person and I'm trying to XQQ: As I worked through my own be true to it. Because I was brought cause they never got their rights completely, even those women transition, I have to say, I didn't think in on that, I can't be taken out of it. helped us get where we are. Even it would lead me to here.

I'm working with my party, and I'm though they're not happy with us

The XQ existing, they still gave us this.

XQQ: That's an important perspective to keep track of and it's not often granted, is it?

Morgane: It's not. It's not.

democracy working. We need to vote strategically, but what does that mean?

Morgane: I was door-knocking yesterday, trying to support my bid.

Well, trying to get more members into the NDP, because politics-wise, there's an election coming and I'm actively engaged in that election, as you can imagine. A man, who is Jewish, and I were talking about how I was face to face, in physical contact, with an actual Nazi two Saturdays ago, at the Vancouver Art Gallery.

got a technological jump with, basically, the industrialization of hatred.

The ability of propaganda to hit newspapers, books, TV, and radio.

We dealt with how it (the dissemination of hate) was being done . That's been dealt with. Now we have social media and the Internet, which is another technological jump.

XQQ: Let’s move over to politics and chat about our federal election year.

It was obvious that Justin's brand was going to wear thin. Happened to Each technological jump, it seems to his dad as well. But it seems to have turn out, allows the extreme right coincided with this reactionary repopulist hatred people an opportuniturn to, what you call the feasting of ty, because they adapt faster than the social predators. We see their policing adapt. They leverage the effectiveness with our neighbors to tool to say awful things before sociHe is a notorious, actual Nazi. He the south. It is an effective system ety quenches the tool's ability to was, somehow, expecting access to when combined with external agents help them be awful. I think we're seethe TV camera, or whatever. He who have no interest in any form of ing it again. I agree, this is a dangerthought he should ous time. We need people who can be in my proximistand out there. We need people ty. His people are who can step up and actually be in shifting the conthe places where the buttons are versation into a pressed and the decisions are made. place that's awAdvocacy is great, but if they don't ful. I was talking want to make the decision, they about what my won't make the decision. experience was there, and this XQQ: If we extend that metaphor, in man, this Jewish the 30s, there was England standing man of European alone, "in our darkest night". Somedescent, says, times, it seems, the western govern"This looks a lot ments are compromised in this. like 1928."

There's no leading advocate like Churchill, who says we just don't go We don't want to this way. What do you think? go there. We don't want to Morgane: There are some, you can think this is what see them. I'm up there saying you it is. Here's what I just don't go this way but, of course, propose. Hatred this is about my community, but I'm

Interview trying to make it about everybody.

All of us have to be careful because this could …...

leged eyes. Still, from what I see and pushback is because there is the ugme watching how our youth are ly people who are angry because growing and how some of them are they've already lost. It's the Wicked impossibly demanding for perfecWitch of the West that got wet and I hope I don't make people think I'm tion, consider how far we were from it's melting. comparing what happened to what's those expectations not very long happening now. That happened, it XQQ: The toes are twitching, but it’s ago. I'm really encouraged by what I was very bad, whereas here I'm talkall over. see. I really like memes. All of the ing about fears of what could hapMorgane: That's something that can stuff is encouraging. It's not widely pen. Two different things. We do almake us all smile. When we see that known, but uptake in independent so have the ability to elect people horror show of Laura-Lynn in my schools and in Christian schools of that will act. We have the ability to SOGI 1 2 3 curriculum, is accelerating. face at a rally, screaming about pestand up and to stand behind ideas nises and vaginas or whatever, I that state, "This is not acceptable.

It's really encouraging. I recently, think the lesson to take home is she This has to change." gave a talk during a service at a is a candidate for a populist extreme church. I've been invited to speak at We also have the need to not go too right movement that's going to get, evangelical churches. I maintain posfar due to the fear. I'm an advocate probably, one per cent of the vote, itive relationships with leaders of a for muzzling people that go too far. and Ninety per cent of those people number of religions. If somebody But, of course, my fear and the fear are going to vote for her group do does something bad, I can count on of others is, what if we go too far so because they were misinformed. the major Protestant denominations, muzzling, and that's a very valid which is my cultural religion, to have I think we're doing fine and it's getquestion. We have to manage how my back and write a letter, a public ting better. we limit people. We have to go not statement. This is like unheard of a But be careful out there. too far. decade ago, even three, four years XQQ: You too, you too.

XQQ: I'm going to check time here ago. If someone is unjustly discrimifor you. I wanted to give you a last nated against, and it's not because Morgane: Angry people do angry chance to wrap up. of their own reaction to, let's say, the things.

Morgane: Let me give you a conclu- oppression, but if it's documentable, XQQ: If it doesn't bother you, I'll do they can go to the courts and win. sion. an offering for your peace and secuParents who are transgender are rity, you're important to all of us.

In my observations from the trenchkeeping their children. I have a job, es, often I feel like I'm covered in Morgane: It never bothers me. They gore, in the stuff I do. I'm lucky. I get I'm working. Here I am. Working in a lay their hands on me at church to access mental health support and retail context in a leadership role. these days, sometimes.

Discrimination is getting managed loving people. It's affirming to have XQQ: I can see why. You need it. and people are understanding that people stop me in the street and Thank you so much for your time. stuff better. That's good. thank me for the work I do. I have good support and I recognize that And there's a pushback, and the not everybody does. Not everybody pushback is ugly, but part of the is seeing the world through my privi-

Morgane: It was wonderful to chat.

Pride in the Word is one of Canada’s largest Pride festival literary events. Each year it showcases some of the proudest and most talented writers from Victoria and across the country, and is always a great time.

jaye simpson - a Oji-Cree non binary trans woman writer, activist and wicked witch. they have had

FEATURING

Ahmad Danny Ramadan - Awardwinning Syrian-Canadian author, public speaker and LGBTQrefugees activist. His first novel, The Clothesline Swing, won multiple awards. He is currently working on two novels and a collection of short stories. He is finishing his Masters in Fine Arts - Creative Ali Blythe - Author of two critically Writing at University of British acclaimed books exploring trans- Columbia and lives with his huspoetics: the debut collection Two- band-inism, and the follow-up collection training in Hymnswitch. Blythe’s poems are Vancouver. published in literary journals and anthologies throughout Canada, and in England, Germany and Slovenia. He lives in Victoria, BC.

several publications in the last year and some top secret projects forthcoming. their tender rage is nuanced, unapologetic and oddly generous.

YOUR HOST

Robin Stevenson - Award-winning author of 25 books for kids and teens, including the Stonewall Honor book PRIDE: CELEBRATING DIVERSITY AND COMMUNITY. Her first book for babies, PRIDE COLORS, just came out this spring, as did MY BODY MY CHOICE, a nonfiction book about abortion rights. Robin lives in Victoria with her partner and their son.

Lahl SarDyke - Lahl came out in 1978, in Winnipeg. She dislikes meanness, lack of curiousity, asparagus and cooked peas. She loves community, poetry, gratitude, dancing, broccoli, knitting and many other things and people. She has been published more than she had thought possible, less than she would like.

Billeh Nickerson - Author of five books including the City of Vancouver Book Award nominated Artificial Cherry. He is also a silver medalist at the Canadian Gay Curling Championships. He now lives in Vancouver, but was first kissed in Victoria. He has lost count of how many times he has hosted Pride in the Word. It’s by far his favourite event in the country.

DAVID TILLSON (he/him) - PRESIDENT – PRIDE FESTIVAL COORDINATOR

DENIS EVE (he/him) - TREASURER

Aside from leading the VPS Board as President for the past 13 years, David is also the Victoria Pride Society’s in-house historian. Having been a part of Victoria’s LGBTQ2S community for 35+ years, along with his extensive background in event production, he has accumulated a wealth of knowledge that is a powerful asset in Victoria Pride’s ability to continue to evolve into something bigger and better with each passing year. While David wears many hats in the VPS world, including President and Pride Festival Coordinator, his favorite and most visible role is as the selfproclaimed “loud-mouthed EMC for the Memorial Dragball”. From its inception, where a mere handful of people cheered on the players, David has been front and center getting the ever-increasing crowd excited and invested in such a unique and special event. Due in large part to David’s commitment and enthusiasm, Dragball has grown into one of the flagship Victoria Pride Week Events, even requiring 2 changes of venue over the years to accommodate the growing number of fans!

After years working within non-profit environmental organizations, including seven years with Greenpeace Canada in fundraising, events, and communication, Denis moved into the tech sector as a web developer—albeit with some hesitation, knowing he was leaving a world of committed, likeminded people behind. Then Denis found a way to marry his two passions.

He developed and taught a diploma program for an accredited tech college that paired students with charities and NGOs, the organizations received free professional digital marketing assessments, branding and websites, while the students launched their careers with industry-ready portfolios. In his role as Treasurer, and his involvement in the Partnership, Fundraising & Communications Committees, Denis brings his skills and enthusiasm to the Victoria Pride Society.

SCOTT DALY (he/him) - COMMUNICATIONS COORDINATOR

Scott works as a Marketing Manager at a solar lighting technology company, ranked as one of the fastest growing companies in Canada. Outside BRITT KOHN (she/her) - CO-VICE PRESIDENT – PARADE COORDINATOR of work, he devotes time to a number of local environmental and poverty Britt was raised on the territories of the Lekwungen and W̱SÁNEĆ peoples alleviation causes. Scott’s volunteer experience includes 6 years on the and feels fortunate to serve her home communities. Growing up with a Board of Our Place Society during a period of rapid organizational growth love of the water, Britt has been instrumental in the success of numerous that saw the addition of numerous new services including overnight sheldragonboat and paddling festivals over the last 10 years. After four years ters, an employment program, Victoria’s first overdose prevention site of volunteering for the Victoria Pride Parade, Britt became the Parade and, more recently, a therapeutic recovery community. Scott is passionate Coordinator last year, where her talent for event management has about community building and feels very fortunate to be able to live in thrived. This past year, Britt overhauled the Society’s Operational ProceVictoria with his husband, Tom. A past volunteer in Victoria Pride’s beer dures, and created architecture for the new pride website. Britt is an enthu- garden for many years, Scott was the Volunteer Coordinator for Victoria siastically approachable people-person, who is committed to creating an Pride 2018 while also helping with communications. Scott applies his skills in environment that is inclusive and welcoming to all. She is passionate about the role of Communications Coordinator to enable the Victoria Pride Socieserving the community, and learning the history of Victoria’s pride. ty to continue to grow its organizational capacity so that it can continue to serve our growing queer community.

LIZ DAMATA (she/her) - CO-VICE PRESIDENT – PRIDE FOOD VENDOR COORDINATOR HOPE WARREN (she/her/they) - SECRETARY – COMMUNITY ENGAGEMENT COORDINATOR Liz has been an active volunteer in community and business organizations for many years. From sitting on the provincial and local boards of the Brit- Hope is a local Tradeswoman with a passion for trans and queer history. ish Columbia Restaurant and Food Services Association as Secretary and As a self identified Genderqueer woman, she currently works along side a Vice chair to the Victoria Pride Society’s treasurer last year, Liz has brought number of different Trans/Queer organizations here in Victoria and years of governance and financial accountability to our board. Liz has strongly believes that our community greatly benefits from promoting been a business owner and community member in Victoria who has spon- robust inclusion and collaboration. Hope shares a passion for our local sored, volunteered and supported Victoria Pride for over 15 years. Anyone queer/trans artist’s and believes in the world class talent that exists right remember drag bingo at The Reef?! Currently enjoying life as a parent, here in our pretty city. As a Transfemme and a Dyke who loves to study partner & financial advisor she looks forward to another year supporting our rich and diverse history, Hope wants to share her heart with our elders the Victoria Pride Society as Vice Chair with all the experience and passion and help highlight some of their incredible efforts and achievements that she brings to every job she takes on. have helped create the platforms she has today.

ALEX CARROLL (they/he) - DIRECTOR – ASST FESTIVAL COORDINATOR

bracelet, hat, button, sticker, you have Tina to thank!

Alex is proud to be a kaleidoscopic mix of multiple traditions and lineages.

Cree and Sioux on his mothers’ side, and Scottish Irish Norwegian on his fathers. His paternal grandfather was adopted from the Erickson family very young, that history is mostly a mystery. His maternal lineage is vast, originating from Saint Boniface, Manitoba. Alex is still learning where his blood lines originate.

DR. LINDSAY HERRIOT (her/she) - DIRECTOR – TRANS TIPPING POINT

Dr. Lindsay Herriot is a queer/bisexual adjunct professor at the University of Victoria and a special education teacher in School District 61. She’s been honoured to volunteer with Victoria Pride Society youth initiatives such as the Pride Week Youth Kickoff Party and the Youth Council. She is also the co-founder and co-coordinator of the youth centered Transgender TipAs a young adult Alex’s love of theatre enticed him to perform as a gender ping Point, which has happily moved under the Victoria Pride Society umillusionist, co-founding the DragBots, and being crowned Mr. Gay Vancou- brella. ver Island. Twice! He is excited to join the Pride family and continue to KELLY LEGGE (she/her) - DIRECTOR – YOUTH ENGAGEMENT CO-CHAIR deepen his personal knowledge and love of our diverse community. In his Kelly Legge (she/her) has lived in Lekwungen and W̱SÁNEĆ territories, role as Assistant Pride Festival Coordinator, Alex enjoys working directly Victoria, for over 10 years. Kelly was a child and youth coach for 8 years. with the Pride Society’s ever-growing number of friends, supporters and allies. He feels that facilitating our supporting Festival Vendors and partici- She currently works at an Indigenous non-profit organization that facilitates Reconciliation workshops and training in Aboriginal child welfare. As a pants in expressing their values and missions throughout the diversity of non-Indigenous person, the work is rewarding, a constant learning, and the Queer communities is not only rewarding, but essential for the longfuels the passion for building community partnerships. As Drag King Persi term goals of an inclusive and balanced society.

Flage and former Mr. Gay Vancouver Island (2016) she co-founded ROTEM GABAY (she/her) - DIRECTOR – VOLUNTEER COORDINATOR Staches and Lashes Collective, a group of drag performers who host Rotem was born and raised in Israel and arrived in Victoria in 2018 to live queer arts events, privileging LGBTQ2* programming for kids and youth. with her girlfriend. In Israel, she worked with kids and teenagers as a swim- She’s an aspiring film-maker and queer-focused children’s book writer ming/water-polo coach and was the manager of the National Youth Wa- through HiveWorks Productions. For her, sharing queer stories is where the ter Polo Team of Israel. Since arriving, she has been trying to see and expe- bliss is. She’s excited to be bringing her experience and passions to VPS as rience as much of Victoria and Canada as possible, enjoying this beautiful a Director at Large and the Youth Engagement Committee Co-Chair! and peaceful place. She says she finds Victoria to be a secure and respectCHARLIE NASH (they/them) - DIRECTOR – ASSISTANT ENTERTAINMENT ful place for the gay community and is excited to be a part of it! In her travCOORDINATOR els, Rotem has come to the realization that the best way to experience and learn about a new culture is through its community. In her role as the VPS Self-proclaimed local legend, Charlie also goes by Henrietta Dubét. PasVolunteer Coordinator she hopes to meet many new people, learn about sionate about community, Charlie strives to take their enthusiasm and inject it straight back into the scene that birthed them. They have not only their experiences, their passions, their commitment, and facilitate their worked within the community to help foster safe spaces for queer youth integration into the world of Victoria Pride Society Events and Programs. through the Staches and Lashes Collective, but they have also led workTINA GOULD (she/her) - DIRECTOR – MERCHANDISE COORDINATOR shops in drag makeup application through the Trans Tipping Point and at Tina was born and raised in Victoria and feels privileged to serve our com- the Two Spirit Conference. Charlie is not only a lover of drag but also an munities on the traditional lands of the Lekwungen and WSÁNEĆ peoples. advocate of trans (and human) rights and intersectional feminism. They Tina first began working in Victoria’s LGBTQ2S community in the late 90s are excited to give back to the Victoria Pride Society in a concrete way, as when she put on some of the first all gender events in Victoria, revived Mr. they have had the pleasure of being a part of several Pride Festivals in the Gay Vancouver Island, brought in Queer entertainers from across Canada, past and enjoys their involvement in the evolution of future events preand occasionally tended bar. After taking a well deserved break from sented by the Society. In addition, Charlie is eager to apply their skills to onevent planning, Tina is back on the scene and applying her skills and pas- going community development in their role on the Community Engagesion to her communities in the best ways that she can. In Tina’s role as the ment Committee, and as Assistant Festival Entertainment Coordinator.

Victoria Pride Society’s Merchandise Coordinator, she is responsible for the design and distribution of all materials that are used to promote the Society and our Events, Programs & Initiatives So if you like that t-shirt, flag,

Thoughts &

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that many trans guys out there would kill to be read as cis-male.

And until recently, I’ve been wearing a binder to hide my breasts because of dysphoria and to appear more masc. But now I feel like I should be wearing tops that show off my boobs so I don’t get dirty looks when Dear Pepper & Pearl, I try to access female spaces. Funny Until recently, if you had asked me thing is, the thought of it doesn’t who I was, I would’ve told you that I make me feel dysphoric like it used was a trans boy (assigned female at to. Am I not trans enough? I don’t birth). I started T a few months ago think I know who I am anymore. but when my voice starting dropping Please help. it made me feel dysphoric so I stopped. Still, my pronouns are he/ A boy in a girl’s body in a boy’s body in a… him but I feel most comfortable in

with many demiguys. Don’t quote me on that though. Do your own research into it. Demiguys often identify with masculinity in part, but not entirely or at all times. Regardless, before I go on, let me reassure you, that… you… are… valid. There is no right or wrong way to experience gender and there is no better expert on who you should be, than YOU!

First, let’s take a look at your recent experience. When you walked into the women’s washroom, you may or may not have been actively thinking about how people might read you, since you were you entering into a space that aligned with your agab female spaces… That is, until last Dear boy/girl/boy/etc… (assigned gender at birth). Then, lo weekend. I was out wearing a button Guess what, hun?

You’re fine.

It’s the and behold, someone takes a look at -down shirt and when I tried using rest of the world that’s confused.

No, you and decides that you don’t fit the women’s washroom in a public their mental image of what “woman” place, I was kicked out… Which made really! Everyone in the cis world keeps wanting to sort everyone into should look like, and polices you me feel really bad because that’s TWO distinct piles without admitting based on their prejudice. And that where I feel safest. But I also feel or realizing that it’s all just one pile – sucks! And it may not be a huge super-guilty because I’m very aware always has been. Gender is fluid. And comfort to you, but I assure you, it’s I think that a got NOTHING to do with YOU! Every large part of your day, in every country in the world, confusion stems there are scores of CIS people being from trying to put policed out of their own public washlabels on things rooms too! And for most of them, that shouldn’t being trans or non-binary isn’t even even have labels. on their radar! Maybe that person’s But I understand hair was too short. Maybe for the as well. Someother one, it was too long. Maybe it times selfwas the smooth skin or lack of facial labeling is a way hair. Maybe they had too much faciof understanding al hair. Maybe it was a woman with and putting words hirsutism and PCOS. Maybe it was a to a feeling or man with gynecomastia. Take your experience in a pick. But fact is, people will always way that you can say inappropriate crap to others in make sense out public. But guess what? That neither of it. If I were to invalidates your gender presentaventure a guess, I tion, nor does it mean everyone else might suggest sees you the same way as that one that your experi- individual did. On some days I might ence is consistent

get an equal number of Sirs and Ma’ams, depending on where I go and who I speak with.

sole reason of not getting kicked out of a bathroom?

If so, I would propose avoiding Okay, so what do we make of your dressing only for bathroom use. Yes, newfound desire to ditch the binders you would probably feel better and go back to having visible about the likelihood of not being mis breasts. Honestly, I don’t think it’s -gendered, but at what collateral strange at all. It’s human nature to cost? In any given day out on the have the desire to feel safe in one’s town, I may use a public bathroom space. Especially a bathroom, where once or maybe twice. Each visit we literally have our pants down and takes me 2 or 3 minutes. Okay, to err feel extra vulnerable and exposed. I on the long side, let’s say 5 minutes would say that you are tying that per visit. There are 1,440 minutes in need to feel safe with the elephant a day, or 480 minutes in an 8-hour in the room – or elephants if you period. This means that at worst, will… you spend 2% of your excursion in a public bathroom (but likely less than The most visible, obvious characterthat). Are you really going to alter istic that will make people see that your appearance for that 2% of your you belong in the space you’ve choday? How about the remaining 98%? sen. I get it! Many a time, have I gotIs it really going to make you happy ten SIRRED by someone in a store if you aren’t dysphoric 2% of the while wearing a low-cut dress, high time but feel like an imposter for the heels and a makeup covered face, remaining 98%? and I feel like yelling “would a SIR have TITS like these, dude?” But in my case, it’s because they aren’t I’ll be honest with you. Some days I looking at my boobs, but listening to also worry about how people will my voice, which happens to be deepread me in the spaces I choose. er than many women…

When it comes to bathrooms, I am So, as it relates to advice… here’s the always MOST comfortable in gender score. Yes, you COULD ditch the -free, accessible, or family bathbinder and wear a boob-a-licious rooms. Yes, they’re certainly not as top, but you are literally counting on common as the binary ones, but I do and expecting that the gender police try to make use of them whenever will LOOK at your BOOBS. But what available, and I do often tend to if they don’t? What if they are using gravitate toward places that I know a completely different cue to deter- have them. But if they aren’t, I won’t mine that you’re the square peg in shy away from using the bathroom the round hole? What, are you going where I feel safest. Period. I won’t let to keep changing things about your- any gender police take that away self until you’re unmistakably read from me. All it takes is having the as cis-female? I’m not saying that’s spoons to do it. But where to get wrong or bad… But is that REALLY those spoons… I’m afraid, is the topic who you are? Is that REALLY what for a future column. you want? Be true to yourself. Plus, would you being doing that for the