When Captain Vancouver sailed this coast he called what he saw the dreary wilderness, broken up only by the numerous towns and villages of people who had lived here since time immemorial. But here, the south island, with its Garry oaks and Camus fields was beautiful and different and he marked so on his maps. The beauty of these lands and seas remains today, as does the unbroken relationship with them by the people who lived here before us.
Co-op members acknowledge the territories of the different First Nations across BC where we live, work and play. We are centered in Southern Vancouver Island and we thank the Coast Salish peoples for their hospitality.
We acknowledge the determination of genocide by the MMIWG commission. We acknowledge that as British Columbians, we are responsible for the just resolution of the largest un-treatied land area in North America, a duty long neglected, and that the Highway of Tears is part of our community.
We are treaty peoples, and we each choose daily whether we live here by agreement or occupation.
XQQ welcomes submissions from community members anywhere.
XQQ is produced by Leilani Jonas Editor in Chief
ChrŸs Tei Production
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CONTRIBUTORS IN THIS ISSUE
ChrŸs Tei Ramblings
Candlemas Jan 21 Feb 2
Beltane Apr 22 May 4
Pride May 27 Jun 15
Lammas Jul 22 Aug 1
Samhain Oct 21 Oct 31
Cross Queer Quarterly is published by five times a year and updated in between by
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Rainbow Health Co-operative
c/o Victoria Native Friendship Centre 318 Regina Avenue
Victoria, BC V8Z 1J6
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Sooke, BC V9Z 0E4
Email: editors@xqq.ca
For those readers of XQQ who have had the opportunity to read some of our back issues, you may have noticed that there has often been a central theme governing the thread of articles, news stories, and other content. Yes,this has been purposeful but not always from the same starting position. There have been times where we’ve sat down with a specific idea (like Pride or TDOR) and everything emanated outward from that point. Then, there were other issues (like Candlemas) where things came together, we looked at them and said: “Aha! Let’s connect the dots to bring out the central theme.”
The underlying theme for this issue (that you won’t likely see stated explicitly otherthan hereinthe Editor’s note) is Love & Hate. If you just raisedan eyebrow, maybeit’s because your editor, being of nonbinary gender,doesn’t have a particular like for (or need of) binary systems in general. Or perhaps it’s that we tend to prefer dwelling on the former while minimizingtheimpact of the latter. Like it or not, this
Editor’s Note
polar model of extremes seems to be dominating globalnews headlines these days, with very little in the happy middle where we would prefer to spend most of our time.
Without getting into a ton of detail, our neighbours to the southcontinue to perpetuate SMH moments with insane legislation, court cases, news stories, and influencers saying outrageous things in an effort to satiate an increasingly jaded social media audience who don’t even get out of bed unless they’re sufficiently shocked or outraged to do so. We have election races all around the world where political party platforms and campaign promises range everywhere from killing off the homosexuals to ensuring equitable access to health for all,including trans people. Never has the stark contrast between love and hate been so upfront and in-your-face.
In our own province, BC has seen one of the most visible and spoken-about trans activists finally see a modicum of justice in her favour, while an M.I.A.health minister refuses to engage with the trans community to answer even the most basic of questions about why people are being refused essential services under his watch. (Edit: since I wrote this, we have actually received some communication fromthe minister;
moreinfo will follow). What’s funny though, is that while everyoneis keen tocallthemselves anally totheLGBTQ+ community, when it comes to actually doing something to demonstrate it, there are only tumbleweeds and crickets. With that kind of “love,” who needs hate?
Fortunately,it’s not alla Greektragedy. We refuse being chained to a rock while an eagle pecks out our liver daily, onlyto haveit regeneratetomorrow andcontinuethetorture. That is why we started XQQ and the RainbowHealthCooperative. It is our mission to snap that little bastard’s neck and break the chains that bind us. One of the small ways that we show that love is stronger than hate is in thecontent ofthis magazine. You maynoticea fewmore ads this issue, representing across section of businesses,individuals, andorganizations who are committed to being inclusive, affirming, and supportive of the rainbow community. I would encourage everyone to support (and continue to support) those who are committed to love and whohave madea conscious decision to govern their work by those principles.
With that, we hope you enjoy the issue and rememberto tell everyone you know about us! Since this is our Pride issue, make sure your check out our Trans Guide to Pride and other great special features that we can’t wait to share with you! Also, please remember to follow us onsocial media!XQQhas aFacebook page and Twitter feed, where you’ll find regular updates and news that we couldn’t possibly fit into a single issue.
Letters to Editor
The letters here are the opinions of the writer and do not reflect any position of this newspaper.
News Trans Need
VICTORIA –
Hundreds of protesters gathered in front of Windsor Park Pavilion in Oak Bay, after it had been learned by the community that Jenn Smith (he/him/his), a staunch opponent of SOGI 123, an educational approach used throughout public schools in British Columbia. Smith, who was sponsored by a religious group to go on a speaking tour of Vancouver Island, made his final stop in Oak Bay, after already having spoken in Duncan, Nanaimo, and Campbell River.
While protesters showed up en masse for all four venues, the large group that made its way to
had already begun to congregate both in front of the venue and made their way inside as well, in order to be in attendance for the anticipated event. Attempts to convince the city of Oak Bay to cancel the lecture were unsuccessful, with mayor Kevin Murdoch, citing the lack of legal reason to do so. He did however issue the following statement.
“I believe we need to stand up and confirm that our society is an accepting and welcoming society for all.”
The mayor’s office went on to organize an event in support of the
the Oak Bay venue attracted significant attention from local news media as well as community leaders, politicians, and city council members. The title of Smith’s talk was “The Erosion of Freedom: How transgender politics in school and society is undermining our freedom and harming our women and children.”
Even an hour before the scheduled talk, community members
LGBTQ+ community as well, to be held in another Oak Bay park, however the largest numbers present were at Windsor Park to protest Jenn Smith’s talk more directly.
While there were also some city counselors from neighbouring Victoria present as a show of solidarity with the LGBTQ+ community, speeches were given by Ryan Painter, the protest’s organizer, Randall Garrison (MP for Saanich,
News Trans Need
Esquimalt, Sooke), and Morgane Oger, a transgender activist and founder of the Morgane Oger Foundation. Inside the venue, would-be attendees to Smith’s talk were outnumbered by protesters, and despite threats from Smith’s handler, representing the Canadian Christian Lobby, her security detail, consisting of several members of white supremacist group, Soldiers of Odin, and undercover Oak Bay Police officers, the protesters inside the venue successfully disrupted the lecture to the point that it had to be cancelled.
A number of Indigenous women stood in front of the lectern, singing the Warrior Womens’ Song, as LGBTQ+ protesters yelled, jeered, and used noisemakers whenever Smith or one of her team attempted to speak. Several minor physical altercations broke out between protesters and undercover police officers as well as Smith’s security guards. At one point, someone pulled the fire alarm, which further drowned out
any hope of anybody being heard. Shortly after, uniformed Oak Bay Police officers showed up and ended the event for fear of public safety. Police Chief Andy Brinton said, “As the evening unfolded it became clear that due to the significant number of people present and the manner they were addressing each other it would not be possible to ensure that continued public safety be maintained.” No arrests were made and all parties left peacefully.
SOGI 123 (Sexual Orientation Gender Identity) is a method of teaching that recognizes and protects students of all gender identities and sexual orientations from bullying and stresses diversity and acceptance in public schools. It includes resources such as model lesson plans and discussion topics that are appropriate for different ages and while it is not a curriculum, it is meant to be incorporated into the existing school curriculum. It was created by the ARC Foundation in cooperation with the B.C. Ministry of Education, the B.C.
Teachers’ Federation, and other community groups. Since its rollout in 2016, SOGI 123 has become a part of public schools across the province and continues to be taught with broad support from communities, educators and students, although a few remnant opposition groups still exist.
Although, this article focuses on the experiences of Trans women, I think this is an article that most if not all of us who are part of the transgender and non-binary communities can relate.
We can feel so under attack collectively we lose sight that the trans, Two-Spirit, nonbinary community is one of cross section and intersectionality and the burden is carried unevenly.
Link to Original Article
News Trans Need
We have been clipping articles lately on the connection between technology and gender or rather the concerns of how the bias of the dominant cis-normative social structure appears in the technology we use every day.
It is no accident that on-line assistants have what is considered feminine voices. They were typically programmed by white hetero/cis normative males. What is more concerning is what they consider appropriate responses to question no person would likely ask an actual woman. The gendering of table-top AI is incredibly problematic, as is what is being done with interactive robots.
The de-sensitizing of people through the ubiquitous distribution of porn is another instance of where our lizard brains with their four million year old programs are running up against forces that are fully woven into the fabric of today’s life, but have only been with us for years, not eons. We have no idea of where we are going.
read of Dune lately, reminded me that in their world they had banned all thinking machines. Doesn’t seem likely any of us will give up our techno toys any time soon.
We might see Alexa et all as a consumer frill to enhance higher levels of consumption, which it obviously is, but it is much more as natural language becomes the primary interface to the machine based information systems that surround us.
One of systemic changes we are working toward in the 0_CHI research project is to change how society sees (our) the trans, TwoSpirit, nonbinary community. At best we are viewed as an exotic part of the species, at worst a deviation that must be stamped out wherever we appear. We need to begin where we are the ones to establish system-wide, functional descriptions of ourselves, and the condition which we experience. A condition that is different in everyone of us, yet still the same.
There has been skepticism about the introduction of table top AI into the 0_CHI team, but perhaps defining a new gender model needs to assess the environment it is occurring in. With eyes wide openofound impact on the role of gender.
Let's ask Lynn Conway. Link to Original Article
Here is a different concern regarding tech and gender. This is a reflection on how gender is used as a classification element in facial recognition software and can result where someone is tagged as non-conforming during security screens. Even though their ID matches their gender, the software is using different criteria to determine who is what, and may cause community members experiencing additional scrutiny. Link to Original Article
Except that the cis-normative world seems so lacking of any sense of identity except for the weekly outrage of the tabloid press they feel the pressing need to co-opt others. Cultural (mis) appropriation takes on a whole new meaning with the trend of the moment of ‘straight prides’. Link to Original Article
News Trans Need
VICTORIA – Fairfield United Church, known for its longstanding inclusive and affirming position for LGBTQ+ Christians, celebrated a first on June 9. Leilani Jonas, XQQ’s own editor-inchief and a member of this congregation of several years, marked a change of name.
Over 50 people attended the ceremony, with several XQQ staffers and Jonas’s family members in attendance
While ceremonies marking a name change are not new even in the Christian tradition, the United Church of Canada does not have an official rite. Inspired by a ceremony used in the Memorial Congregational Church in Sudbury, Massachusetts, a new rite was created that could be used for anyone wishing to mark a name-changing milestone with the community and within their faith tradition. Jonas also shared a homily explaining the reasons and background for her choice, which XQQ is pleased to provide in a modified format here.
1/4 page ads 3.75 x 4.25
News Trans Need
Farmer Opens Sanctuary For NonBinary Hogs
ABBOTSFORD, BC, April 29, 2019 / CBSNW/ - Alfred Pinkelton, owner and spokesman for Pinkelton Hog Farms Ltd., has announced the creation of a new animal sanctuary for gender nonbinary hogs that would be otherwise destined for slaughter. The announcement came on the heels of a major, local protest in which hundreds of Vegans descended on another Abbotsfordbased hog farm, with claims of animal cruelty and demands that the operation be shut down. Pinkelton spoke to XQQ in an exclusive interview and offered the following statement.
“I was watching them Vegans on TV and how they was so passionate about them hogs. So it got me thinkin’ that I should do something. I figured that I might be next. So rather than waitin’ for them Vegans to come take over my farm I decided to make something special. So I says to my missus: ‘Hey, Claire. C’mere for a sec. Look at what’s on the TV.’ And that’s when she says to me, ‘Cripes, Alfie. They’re comin’ for us next. We oughtta do somethin’ before it’s too late.’ And that’s when she reminded me that we had this one sow named Jessie who was always acting like the boy pigs all the time. And I remembered this TLC documentary I watched one time about trans people and whatnot. So I was like, that’s it! I know what’s up. Jessie’s no sow. No sir. She’s a boar but just no one didn’t tell her no different and he’s just a bit confused. And I’m a good Christian. I don’t wanna kill no hog that lived his whole life all confused like. Jesus would-
n’t like that one bit. So I says to Claire: let’s make him a sanctuary and for other pigs just like him.”
Pinkelton then described his intentions to end his current operations and rebrand his enterprise as one that would take in and care for gender nonconforming swine of all types.
“We’re gonna have an animal psychologist on-hand who can council the animals and find out whether they identify as boy pigs or girl pigs. And then we can let ‘em roam free with their own kind out in the fields.”
When asked about the costs involved in such a major operation restructuring, Pinkelton remained optimistic that he could gather donations from his church and the local community. The estimate obtained by XQQ from Jaycee Pinkelton, Alfred Pinkelton’s cousin and Chief Financial Officer (CFO), was for $6.9 million, not including the ongoing costs for care of the animals that would no longer be sold for meat. XQQ also asked Pinkelton what would happen to any animals that weren’t trans or nonbinary.
“That’s a good question. So I was talking to a real nice man from Maple Leaf Foods who said we could send all the cis and straight pigs to him. He said they’d treat ‘em real good over there and that I could rest assured that they’d find their way into good homes.”
XQQ was unable to reach a spokesperson from Maple Leaf Foods to comment at the time of
News Trans Need
Andrew Wilkinson Comes Out As Trans; BC Liberals Announce New Trans Platform
VICTORIA, BC, April 1, 2019 /CBSNW/ -
In a shocking public announcement at the BC Legislature today, Liberal Opposition Leader, Andrew Wilkinson declared she was, in fact, female. At an impromptu press conference, Wilkinson issued the following statement to the press.
“I am proud to say to all British Columbians, that today marks a new chapter in provincial politics and my own personal journey. As most of you are already aware, I am, and always have been, a woman. Don’t let the grey, drab suit fool you! Underneath I assure you I am wearing baby blue, pink, and white panties that were sewn from discarded trans flags gathered at a recent anti-SOGI rally.”
Jackie Tegart, Opposition Caucus Chair, spoke out in support of Wilkinson’s decision.
“We are all behind Ms. Wilkinson one hundred percent. Of course, we all knew it all along but were just waiting until she was ready to announce it –preferably during a non-election year so that people couldn’t accuse us of using this as a way to solicit more votes.”
Tegart went on to confirm a new party platform and strategy for the next election cycle.
“We are also proud to announce our new party slogan: ‘TRANS-forming The Future of BC.’ And please note the all-caps on TRANS. You all got the double-entendre, right? Also, effective immediately, all new BC Liberal candidates must be trans or gender non-binary. Trudeau showed us the way with a 50% female caucus. Well we figured: if he could do it, we may as well go whole-hog on this and everyone will need to be trans in order for this thing to work.”
When asked about his own transition, Tegart was not willing to provide any details, although he hinted at the possibility of an upcoming phalloplasty prior to the next BC election.
Wilkinson went on to say that effective immediately, she would be pursuing HRT (hormone replacement therapy) with the eventual aim of obtaining gender confirmation surgery. Wilkinson was not able to confirm a timeline for these procedures, and Health Minister Adrian Dix was silent on whether the MLA would qualify to receive public funding for her procedure, but his office offered the following statement.
unable to confirm or disconfirm the existence of the health ministry and is not prepared to comment on whether trans people do or do not, in fact exist in the province of British Columbia.”
“At this time, Health Minister Dix is
XQ Interview
We recently connected with Morgane at a local rally where community members turned out to show their support for BC’s Ministry Of Education anti-bullying resource SOGI 123. We got a chance to chat soon after.
XQQ: Hello Morgane. Thanks for taking the time to chat and tell us about what’s going on in your life these days. Community members are always interested in what our advocates are working on, but people also want to hear your story. I wondered if we could just start with a quick biography.
Morgane: Well let's see, I’m in my 50’s, I’m the mom of two cool tweens, I live in downtown Vancouver in a housing society, I was born in France, I started my medical transition quite late. I tried to come out a number of times, and I was always met with pushback and pathologizing therapies. I would say I kind of gave up and finally transitioned in my 40s.
Ultimately, the clincher for me was I just couldn’t stand living my old life and I also found myself telling my children to be true to themselves. And I just snapped and that's the thing. I had an advantage because I moved around a lot, which really helped me because what came out of that was I never settled down into a society that would tell me that I
was an abomination. I had more than one society's values talking to me so I knew that there were inconsistencies in these values and therefore society values are relative. I think that it really helped keep me solid. I think that's why I've managed to survive politics so far. I've lived in a pile of countries, France, Switzerland, England, Germany, Netherlands, Morocco, The United States, and Canada. I've been an immigrant in four countries, so I understand immigrants. But mind you, I was always an immigrant in European countries so I never felt racialized., and know my experience is very different from people of colour. Racism, and all of these stigmas that are based on supremacy are equivalent in my eyes. The harm is
different, the pain is different, but they are equivalent. That's at the basis of a lot of my advocacy. I don’t live an indigenous life, and I’m not a black person, and I wasn’t groomed from birth to be a girl. I have a different experience than those, nonetheless, I understand some of the aspects of these things as I experienced them myself.
Now I’m in a relationship with a butch Latina and its super nice. We have been together for a few years.
I’m in politics. I entered politics basically to give myself an advocacy. I realized that we weren't going to get trans rights in BC, or federally, and I went to the next step and actually
entered a political machine. You can only get so far as an advocate. I found the machine that worked for me, I found the NDP. I love the NDP and all its complexities, I am an NDP politician, a new democrat. It was strange to fit in there, as on the one hand as one of my ancestors founded the French Communist Party. On the other hand I have executive experience in investment and commercial banking, and military work.
I have an atypical background and it came together, first as an organizer then a politician. Then I developed some pretty strong organizer skills as it turns out.
I became adept at fighting inside of the federal tribunals helping my own kids, but ending up in my own fight. It turns out that I did quite well and I succeeded in that.
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curdling years. Nobody would say that what I did was easy and accessible. I was very lucky that the lawyers who represented me didn’t charge me for this. In a case involving precedent, it’s possible to get lawyers that will not make you pay. The number of lawyers that worked on this case is unbelievable, 8 lawyers spent two years on it.
XQQ: On your side alone or in total?
Morgane: In total I would say, but on my side it was one lawyer for two years and one lawyer for half a year. It's a very important case. The ruling states that you can’t wrap yourself up in your belief, or free expression to incite hatred or to discriminate against someone, or in order to incite discrimination, or urge people to discriminate. That’s a big one.
XQQ: Congratulations on winning your case at the BC Human Rights Tribunal. Tell us more about that. How long did it take?
Morgane: Yes I succeeded. It took two years, Two long awful blood-
Of course, an appeal is probably inevitable but right now I won and I’m thinking that we are going to be successful. But it was awful, they tried everything to break me, these people. They lied all the time. They were trying tricks and ludicrous things, thinking that lawyers aren’t competent. Ultimately we succeeded, we have this precedent and it's being used as a precedent by others already.
XQQ: Can human rights tribunal judgements be transferred into civil litigation or criminal court? Can they cited as precedent?
Interview
Morgane: It can be cited. It's a misunderstanding that because it's an administrative body it's not a judgement.
There were three members of the panel. One of the members had been at the ICC criminal dealing with war crimes and crimes against humanity. These are senior people, very experienced judges. They make a ruling but that ruling is just a legal ruling and that legal ruling can be appealed in courts, in the supreme court of BC. If it is not appealed and overturned, it's a legal judgement.
Going to the supreme court of Canada makes no difference. Of course if it’s upheld in supreme court, it becomes bulletproof. Anybody could appeal this ruling at any time at each level until it's confirmed to the next level. So its citable, it's binding and its decisions are enforceable. That's all there is to it.
XQQ: Was there actually a cash award out of the decision?
Morgane: There was, it was a two part award. I believe it’s a record breaking award. Half of the 55 thousand was for the harm that this man did and discrimination, that is, it was reparations. The other half was punishment for the outrageous behavior of the respondents. William Whatcott behaved outrageously during the proceedings. He wore a tshirt saying that said no matter how I see the laws I’m still a man. He was
awful, he passed out propaganda, he filmed, he did all these bad things ,and he was punished for it. It's quite a severe punishment, the tribunal was displeased with his behavior.
XQQ: What do you see as an accomplishment from this aspect of the case?
Morgane: I think people now better understand how binding a court ruling is. That you do not mess with the ruling of a court or with its authority because courts can’t afford to have their authority questioned. Therefore they have unlimited power to escalate. People don't understand that well enough that the consequence of defying a court is called contempt of court and contempt of court sends you to prison. That’s a big deal, you could end up in a serious situation. So, 55 thousand dollars and I'll never ever see the money, it is extremely
unlikely. William Whatcott is very carefully staying destitute and he probably has no assets that can be gone after. But there are other ways to order him to pay. He will refuse it, he might say I can't afford it, or he might say I refuse to pay. If he refuses to pay, he might go to jail for contempt of court.
I fully intend to take this to the ends of the earth on this man. This is not the first time he's done this. It’s outrageous. I think if people go to jail over their misbehavior they will think twice and they will make other people think twice.
XQQ: Do you think for others experiencing similar things that a human
rights complaint is an appropriate option? What would be the factors to help somebody decide that?
Morgane: That's a very tough one. First I think it's important to recognize this happened in a civil court. People talk about hate speech, hate crimes, and the Human Rights Tribunal together, but they are very different things. If you go to through the criminal court to resolve an incident of someone inciting hatred, the test for this is enormous. You don't get to decide if charges are laid, you only get to make a complaint. To file a complaint regarding an act of hatred against me that's not violence, then they say thank you and file it. It's almost zero chance there would be any action by the police and I would have to transfer it to civil court. It’s very hard to get a charge and even harder to get a conviction.
In a civil court of course, we can say it was a human rights violation, so if you have evidence that you were discriminated against in housing, employment or by anyone providing a service. there is an opportunity to have your case heard by the court. Providing a service means any time you interact with a business or an agency of any kind. For example getting an ice cream, getting your driver's license, buying sugar, or having someone mow your lawn. These things are services normally available to the public.
Violations include a toxic environment, refusal of service, toxic environment at work, or being fired because of who you are. Then you have a case.
However you have to be able to prove it with a piece of paper produced by the person or service that says because you are something you are being treated differently.
Or it could be a pattern of behavior that lasts and lasts but it has to be provable.
When you think of the Angela Dawson case where she was discriminated against by the Vancouver police, the police left notes in their log calling her a man and making fun of her, that was the deciding factor.
In the Whatcott case it was a physical piece of paper, where he wrote it was an impossibility that I was a woman, that was the clincher.
Important to note, all misconduct is not covered under human rights law. There is no law controlling online conduct in Canada and that's a problem I’m trying to address. I went to speak to the House of Commons Standing Committee on Human Rights in May regarding this issue. I gave testimony including 6 recommendations from the foundation and I was pleased to see my recommendations included in their report. Ultimately, my recommendation was hold the ISPs accountable,
The XQ
that is the same level of accountability as if it was a piece of paper. And the ability to escalate an issue, so when it's consistent and persistent, then you get into real consequences, in civil law.
XQQ: We were talking about when to go to criminal, civil court, or the tribunal. You were distinguishing between them.
Morgane: The tribunal is where the B.C. human rights law is arbitrated, that is the B.C. Human Rights Code. But you have to have proof. There's another thing you can do which is libel and defamation. Libel and defamation is people writing or saying things that harm you and your reputation and your ability to earn income, based on what they said. Basically people lying about you to hurt you. There's something interesting there, which is not used enough, which is the fact that it doesn't matter if they believe it's true.
For example, when someone says Morgane Oger is a man, which happens a lot online, I could go after them with libel, because, in fact, it’s not true. There is a way to test this, which is to look up my documentation, because that's how we identify who is or is not a man. My documents will say "woman", and that's all there is to it. Then they'll go, "No, I meant biological man.", and then I can say, "Oh yeah? Prove it." Then you go down the rabbit hole of what
Interview
makes a man a man or what makes a woman a woman. It's hurtful. It's an awful case. Nobody wants to do it because it involves, basically, people talking shit about me for months, but that's possible. People do have the ability to go to court.
Still, the nice thing about tort law, which is wonderful, tort law has unlimited remedies. Penalties can be whatever the courts assign. Whereas, the human rights tribunal is basically the small claims court of attacks on dignity. That's basically the way it's done. You have the human rights tribunal for human rights code, and you have access to tort law for libel and for defamation.
There is also criminal defamation, but it's almost never used.
In the Criminal Code it's Section 319, which is inciting hatred likely to cause disturbance. That's also almost never used. It’s been used, like, three times in Canada. As to criminal court, non-violent hatred will never bring in a criminal code charge. It's extremely unlikely. Don't waste the time. Report it. Report it because if you report it, it gets counted, but don't expect redress.
XQQ: One of the things Rainbow Health is working on with Organizing Against Racism and Hatred Victoria (OARH) is on their hate incident protocol. The hope is that with the con-
solidated 911 response center on the island, the operators get training in hate incident management and that there is a process so a hate incident report can flow through to the appropriate police force.
Morgane: That would be nice.
XQQ: When the NDP provincial government came back in, there was a change in the Human Rights Commission. Is that when the tribunal was re-established?
Morgane: Not the tribunal, not the rights tribunal, the Commission. B.C. had been pared down to just the tribunal, just to address complaints in courts. It was just a court layer. The NDP in British Columbia put back the
Human Rights Commission and assigned a Commissioner. (Kasari Govender) She's from West Coast LEAF. West Coast LEAF was an intervener in my tribunal case. It was well done. A great choice. The Commission's job is, of course, to pursue and move forward issues of human rights that need to be addressed. Issues that are more broadly socially than a specific complaint. Tribunals are a complaint-based system.
And policy. For example, the Human Rights Commission would be the place that I would go to, to ask that all contracts between B.C. institutions and societies that provide services include requirements for prohibiting discrimination, for example, gender identity or race. We have serious problems with non-profits and charities pretending to be inclusive, but actually discriminating against people on prohibited grounds. That would be a place we would do that.
XQQ: Give us the background on the Morgane Oger Foundation. How did it come about?
Morgane: I founded the Morgane Oger Foundation in 2017. I think it became official in 2018, when we announced it and the paperwork all came in. The purpose of the Foundation is to narrow the gap between Canada's human rights laws, as they're written, and the experience lived on the ground by people in
marginalized communities. Essentially, we're trying to deal with stigmadriven diversions from applying the law. What drove it, was that I was getting ... me and the crew that I work with who been part of my advocacy now for a number of years, we were starting to notice that almost all the work we were doing was in B.C., and it was as individuals.
Individuals doing work don't have the longevity of an organization. Eventually I will move on to other things, let's say, politics. Then the things that have happened will stick to me, but they will become a political tool, rather than being an organization's social progress tool We identified that, if we had an organization that did this, it would work well.
We based it off of The Broadbent Institute. We did a lot of consulting with organizations that do things to move the dial forward on improving society. What we found was that there was a model to apply, and the model is that we have spokespersons that have expertise in certain things. Right now, we've been very loud on LGBT issues. Then we have an advisory committee, with a dozen seats, that provides the wisdom and the soul and the fire. They come from intersectional members of multiple marginalized groups, or people who have something that needs to be changed, that is compatible with our human rights law. We use the
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human rights law definitions to decide who should be into this group.
We try to get an elder and a young'un from each identified community. At least two, to try to get the fire and the wisdom together. We mix it up. Our advisory committee is reasonably informal. The whole point of the advisory committee is to have people to tap for advice and for soul, so that our spokespersons don't go off on tangents, or step on others. I shouldn't be talking about disability rights too much. It's really not my wheelhouse to talk about. We should have someone who can talk about that.
We've been primarily focused on transgender rights, SOGI policy and reproductive independence. The right to choose. Those are the things that we're working on the most right now. We're also building the Canadian Atlas of Populistic Extremism. (CAPE)
XQQ: Where are you at on that project?
Morgane: We're at the architecture level right now. We're building the architecture. It's the most important part. You really want to put as much money as possible, and time, into getting the designs right so that you don't go and have to fix stuff.
We recruited, like, 2,000 people with knowledge in GIS and in apps and in databases to work with this. We're trying to get funding and support
Interview
from lawyers and from universities. Legal advice is an important part of this. We don't want to stray out of the doing good part of the thing into the danger zones. We're very mindful about that. We don't want something like Creep Catchers. We don't want to turn into something like this. That's so dangerous.
The idea, when it's done, is that we're going to have a facility available to organizations on which they can map incidents that meet their mandate. For example, people have asked us about mapping homophobic and transphobic incidents in developing countries that are susceptible to hatred, because they have anti-LGBT law. Where they can't go and complain to the local authorities. We would track these things.
People send me the most awful stuff. Recently I got a video I think was a live video while it was happening, of a, I believe it was a Ugandan transgender woman, being beaten to death in Kenya.
XQQ: Oh my God.
Morgane: Awful. These are communities I know. I've been trying to help refugees in the Kenyan refugee camps. This is why they hooked me up on this video as it was happening. Oh my God.
XQQ: As I worked through my own transition, I have to say, I didn't think it would lead me to here.
Morgane: Yes, it is a path I did not expect. I didn't think I'd find myself investigating a transgender person accused of being an online predator. I didn't think I'd sit at the side of a transgender serving a life in prison for crimes that involved children and death. I didn't think I'd be the person who gets reports of police violence or mob killings, from the mob, I mean. This is hard on a soul. I don't know where you are, at in all this but it's hard on the soul.
XQQ: I don't know how you do it. I know some community members somehow can be in the public space, but I'm always concerned about seeing a picture of myself somewhere. You're just out there and I admire it so much, because it is nothing I could ever do.
Morgane: I think I get to enjoy a certain luxury of being protected by my activities in politics. I think that's a major factor. In politics, there's this brand you have to manage. The brand that I got into politics on is that I fight for people and that I tell the truth. I think that that is what makes it possible for the politics to protect me. They let me in on that, so they can't not let me continue.
Speaking truth to power is what I am supposedly renowned for. I'm trying to be that person and I'm trying to be true to it. Because I was brought in on that, I can't be taken out of it.
I'm working with my party, and I'm
with other parties as well. I'm not only working with my party and I'm very careful to not politicize, with partisan politics, things that have to do with human rights. Things that have to do with human rights are too important. If I can get the Conservative people to do something good, I get them to do something good and then we move on. I let them do it in their own story. If they didn't do something, I ask. Or if one of theirs does something bad, I'll jump on that one. We're all supposed to be in this. That social good thing and the politics thing and the social policy, we're supposedly in this, all of us, to make the world a better place.
I think it's important that we actually do that. All of us have to work together to make the world an actual better place. And we've come a long way. Along the way, the foundation of our work was set by people who had a very different existence than you and I had.
Trans people who were out 20 years ago, 30 years ago, gay men and lesbians who fought for rights that are now taken for granted in our cohort. Even the lesbians and the women who hate trans women on the basis that we are not really women, or who say hateful things about us because they never got their rights completely, even those women helped us get where we are. Even though they're not happy with us
existing, they still gave us this.
XQQ: That's an important perspective to keep track of and it's not often granted, is it?
Morgane: It's not. It's not.
XQQ: Let’s move over to politics and chat about our federal election year. It was obvious that Justin's brand was going to wear thin. Happened to his dad as well. But it seems to have coincided with this reactionary return to, what you call the feasting of the social predators. We see their effectiveness with our neighbors to the south. It is an effective system when combined with external agents who have no interest in any form of
democracy working. We need to vote strategically, but what does that mean?
Morgane: I was door-knocking yesterday, trying to support my bid. Well, trying to get more members into the NDP, because politics-wise, there's an election coming and I'm actively engaged in that election, as you can imagine. A man, who is Jewish, and I were talking about how I was face to face, in physical contact, with an actual Nazi two Saturdays ago, at the Vancouver Art Gallery. He is a notorious, actual Nazi. He was, somehow, expecting access to the TV camera, or whatever. He thought he should be in my proximity. His people are shifting the conversation into a place that's awful. I was talking about what my experience was there, and this man, this Jewish man of European descent, says, "This looks a lot like 1928."
We don't want to go there. We don't want to think this is what it is. Here's what I propose. Hatred
The XQ
got a technological jump with, basically, the industrialization of hatred. The ability of propaganda to hit newspapers, books, TV, and radio. We dealt with how it (the dissemination of hate) was being done . That's been dealt with. Now we have social media and the Internet, which is another technological jump.
Each technological jump, it seems to turn out, allows the extreme right populist hatred people an opportunity, because they adapt faster than policing adapt. They leverage the tool to say awful things before society quenches the tool's ability to help them be awful. I think we're seeing it again. I agree, this is a dangerous time. We need people who can stand out there. We need people who can step up and actually be in the places where the buttons are pressed and the decisions are made. Advocacy is great, but if they don't want to make the decision, they won't make the decision.
XQQ: If we extend that metaphor, in the 30s, there was England standing alone, "in our darkest night". Sometimes, it seems, the western governments are compromised in this. There's no leading advocate like Churchill, who says we just don't go this way. What do you think?
Morgane: There are some, you can see them. I'm up there saying you just don't go this way but, of course, this is about my community, but I'm
Interview
trying to make it about everybody. All of us have to be careful because this could …...
I hope I don't make people think I'm comparing what happened to what's happening now. That happened, it was very bad, whereas here I'm talking about fears of what could happen. Two different things. We do also have the ability to elect people that will act. We have the ability to stand up and to stand behind ideas that state, "This is not acceptable. This has to change."
We also have the need to not go too far due to the fear. I'm an advocate for muzzling people that go too far. But, of course, my fear and the fear of others is, what if we go too far muzzling, and that's a very valid question. We have to manage how we limit people. We have to go not too far.
XQQ: I'm going to check time here for you. I wanted to give you a last chance to wrap up.
Morgane: Let me give you a conclusion.
In my observations from the trenches, often I feel like I'm covered in gore, in the stuff I do. I'm lucky. I get to access mental health support and loving people. It's affirming to have people stop me in the street and thank me for the work I do. I have good support and I recognize that not everybody does. Not everybody is seeing the world through my privi-
leged eyes. Still, from what I see and me watching how our youth are growing and how some of them are impossibly demanding for perfection, consider how far we were from those expectations not very long ago. I'm really encouraged by what I see. I really like memes. All of the stuff is encouraging. It's not widely known, but uptake in independent schools and in Christian schools of SOGI 1 2 3 curriculum, is accelerating. It's really encouraging. I recently, gave a talk during a service at a church. I've been invited to speak at evangelical churches. I maintain positive relationships with leaders of a number of religions. If somebody does something bad, I can count on the major Protestant denominations, which is my cultural religion, to have my back and write a letter, a public statement. This is like unheard of a decade ago, even three, four years ago. If someone is unjustly discriminated against, and it's not because of their own reaction to, let's say, the oppression, but if it's documentable, they can go to the courts and win.
Parents who are transgender are keeping their children. I have a job, I'm working. Here I am. Working in a retail context in a leadership role. Discrimination is getting managed and people are understanding that stuff better. That's good.
And there's a pushback, and the pushback is ugly, but part of the
pushback is because there is the ugly people who are angry because they've already lost. It's the Wicked Witch of the West that got wet and it's melting.
XQQ: The toes are twitching, but it’s all over.
Morgane: That's something that can make us all smile. When we see that horror show of Laura-Lynn in my face at a rally, screaming about penises and vaginas or whatever, I think the lesson to take home is she is a candidate for a populist extreme right movement that's going to get, probably, one per cent of the vote, and Ninety per cent of those people are going to vote for her group do so because they were misinformed. I think we're doing fine and it's getting better.
But be careful out there.
XQQ: You too, you too.
Morgane: Angry people do angry things.
XQQ: If it doesn't bother you, I'll do an offering for your peace and security, you're important to all of us.
Morgane: It never bothers me. They lay their hands on me at church these days, sometimes.
XQQ: I can see why. You need it. Thank you so much for your time. Morgane: It was wonderful to chat.
Pride in the Word is one of Canada’s largest Pride festival literary events. Each year it showcases some of the proudest and most talented writers from Victoria and across the country, and is always a great time.
FEATURING
Ali Blythe - Author of two critically acclaimed books exploring transpoetics: the debut collection Twoism, and the follow-up collection Hymnswitch. Blythe’s poems are published in literary journals and anthologies throughout Canada, and in England, Germany and Slovenia. He lives in Victoria, BC.
winning Syrian-Canadian author, public speaker and LGBTQrefugees activist. His first novel, The Clothesline Swing, won multiple awards. He is currently working on two novels and a collection of short stories. He is finishing his Masters in Fine Arts - Creative Writing at University of British Columbia and lives with his husband-intraining in Vancouver.
jaye simpson - a Oji-Cree non binary trans woman writer, activist and wicked witch. they have had
year and some top secret projects forthcoming. their tender rage is nuanced, unapologetic and oddly generous.
Robin Stevenson - Award-winning author of 25 books for kids and teens, including the Stonewall Honor book PRIDE: CELEBRATING DIVERSITY AND COMMUNITY. Her first book for babies, PRIDE COLORS, just came out this spring, as did MY BODY MY CHOICE, a nonfiction book about abortion rights. Robin lives in Victoria with her partner and their son.
YOUR HOST
Author of five books including the City of Vancouver Book Award nominated Artificial Cherry. He is also a silver medalist at the Canadian Gay Curling Championships. He now lives in Vancouver, but was first kissed in Victoria. He has lost count of how many times he has hosted Pride in the Word. It’s by far his favourite event in the country.
Lahl SarDyke - Lahl came out in 1978, in Winnipeg. She dislikes meanness, lack of curiousity, asparagus and cooked peas. She loves community, poetry, gratitude, dancing, broccoli, knitting and many other things and people. She has been published more than she had thought possible, less than she would like.
DAVID TILLSON(he/him)- PRESIDENT– PRIDEFESTIVAL COORDINATOR
Asidefromleadingthe VPS Board asPresident forthe past 13years,David is also theVictoria PrideSociety’sin-house historian. Having beenapart of Victoria’sLGBTQ2S community for 35+ years, along with hisextensive backgroundineventproduction,he hasaccumulateda wealth of knowledgethat isapowerfulasset in VictoriaPride’s ability tocontinue to evolveinto somethingbiggerandbetterwitheach passing year. While Davidwearsmanyhats inthe VPS world, includingPresident andPride FestivalCoordinator, his favorite and most visible role isasthe selfproclaimed “loud-mouthed EMCfor the MemorialDragball”. From its inception,where a mere handfulofpeople cheered onthe players,David has beenfront andcenter getting the ever-increasingcrowd excited and invested in such auniqueandspecialevent. Due inlargepart toDavid’s commitment andenthusiasm,Dragballhasgrowninto oneof the flagship VictoriaPride Week Events,evenrequiring 2changesof venueover the yearsto accommodatethe growing numberof fans!
Britt wasraised on the territoriesof the LekwungenandW̱SÁNEĆpeoples and feels fortunate toserveherhome communities. Growingup with a love of thewater,Britt hasbeeninstrumentalinthe success ofnumerous dragonboat and paddling festivals over thelast 10 years. After four years of volunteering forthe VictoriaPride Parade,Britt became theParade Coordinator last year,where hertalent forevent managementhas thrived. Thispast year, Britt overhauled theSociety’s Operational Procedures,andcreated architecturefor the new pridewebsite. Britt isan enthusiastically approachablepeople-person,who iscommitted tocreating an environment that is inclusiveandwelcomingto all. Sheispassionate about serving thecommunity, and learning thehistory of Victoria’s pride.
LIZ DAMATA (she/her)- CO-VICEPRESIDENT– PRIDE FOOD VENDOR COORDINATOR
Liz hasbeenan active volunteerin community andbusiness organizations for many years. Fromsittingon the provincial and localboards ofthe British ColumbiaRestaurant andFood Services AssociationasSecretary and Vicechair to theVictoria PrideSociety’streasurerlast year,Liz hasbrought yearsof governanceandfinancial accountability to our board. Lizhas beenabusinessowner andcommunity member inVictoria who hassponsored,volunteeredandsupported Victoria Pridefor over 15 years.Anyone rememberdragbingoat TheReef?! Currentlyenjoyinglife asa parent, partner& financialadvisorshe looks forwardto another yearsupporting the VictoriaPrideSocietyasVice Chair with allthe experienceandpassion she brings toeveryjobshe takeson.
DENIS EVE(he/him)- TREASURER
After yearsworking within non-profit environmentalorganizations,including seven yearswith GreenpeaceCanada infundraising,events, and communication,Denismoved into thetechsectorasa webdeveloper albeit with somehesitation,knowinghe wasleaving aworld ofcommitted, likeminded peoplebehind. ThenDenis found away tomarryhistwo passions. He developed andtaught adiploma programfor an accreditedtechcollegethat pairedstudents with charities andNGOs,the organizations receivedfree professionaldigitalmarketing assessments,brandingand websites,while thestudentslaunched theircareers with industry-ready portfolios. In hisroleasTreasurer,and hisinvolvementin thePartnership, Fundraising&CommunicationsCommittees,Denisbrings hisskillsand enthusiasm to the VictoriaPrideSociety.
SCOTTDALY (he/him)- COMMUNICATIONS COORDINATOR
Scott worksasaMarketingManagerat asolarlighting technologycompany, ranked as one of thefastest growingcompaniesinCanada. Outside of work,he devotes time toa numberof localenvironmental andpoverty alleviationcauses. Scott’svolunteerexperienceincludes6 years onthe Board of OurPlace Society during aperiodof rapidorganizationalgrowth that saw theadditionof numerous newservicesincludingovernight shelters,anemploymentprogram, Victoria’sfirst overdose preventionsite and, more recently,a therapeutic recovery community. Scott ispassionate about communitybuildingandfeelsvery fortunate to be able to live in Victoria with hishusband,Tom. Apast volunteerin VictoriaPride’sbeer gardenformany years,Scott was the VolunteerCoordinatorfor Victoria Pride2018 while also helping withcommunications. Scott applieshisskills in the roleof CommunicationsCoordinator to enable theVictoriaPride Society to continue to grow itsorganizationalcapacity sothat itcancontinue to serve ourgrowingqueercommunity.
HOPE WARREN(she/her/they)- SECRETARY – COMMUNITY ENGAGEMENTCOORDINATOR
Hope isa localTradeswoman with a passionfor transandqueerhistory. As aselfidentifiedGenderqueerwoman,she currently worksalong side a numberof differentTrans/Queerorganizations herein Victoriaand strongly believes that ourcommunity greatlybenefits frompromoting robust inclusionandcollaboration. Hope sharesa passion for ourlocal queer/transartist’s andbelieves in the worldclasstalentthat existsright here in ourprettycity. Asa Transfemme and aDykewho loves tostudy our richanddiverse history, Hopewantsto share her heart with our elders and help highlight some oftheirincredible effortsandachievements that have helpedcreate theplatformsshehastoday.
ALEX
CARROLL(they/he)- DIRECTOR– ASST FESTIVAL COORDINATOR
Alex is proud to be akaleidoscopic mix ofmultipletraditions and lineages. Cree andSioux on hismothers’side, andScottishIrish Norwegianon his fathers. Hispaternal grandfatherwasadopted fromthe Erickson family very young, that history ismostlyamystery. Hismaternallineage is vast, originatingfromSaintBoniface,Manitoba. Alex isstilllearningwhere his blood linesoriginate.
As ayoung adult Alex’slove of theatreenticedhimto performasa gender illusionist,co-founding the DragBots, andbeingcrownedMr. GayVancouverIsland. Twice!Heisexcited tojoin the Pridefamily andcontinue to deepen hispersonalknowledge and love of ourdiverse community. Inhis role as Assistant Pride FestivalCoordinator, Alexenjoysworkingdirectly with the PrideSociety’s ever-growing numberof friends,supporters and allies. He feels that facilitating oursupportingFestivalVendors andparticipants inexpressingtheirvaluesand missions throughout the diversity of the Queercommunitiesisnot only rewarding,but essentialfor thelongtermgoalsof aninclusive and balancedsociety.
Rotem wasborn and raised in Israelandarrivedin Victoriain 2018to live with hergirlfriend. InIsrael, she workedwithkids andteenagersasaswimming/water-polocoachandwasthe managerof the NationalYouth Water Polo TeamofIsrael. Sincearriving,she hasbeen tryingto seeand experienceasmuch of VictoriaandCanada as possible,enjoyingthis beautiful and peacefulplace. Shesays she finds Victoriato beasecure and respectful placefor thegaycommunityand isexcited to be apart of it!Inher travels,Rotemhascometo the realization that the best way to experienceand learnabout anewculture is through itscommunity. In her role as the VPS Volunteer Coordinatorshe hopesto meet many new people, learnabout their experiences, their passions,theircommitment,andfacilitatetheir integrationinto the world of Victoria PrideSociety EventsandPrograms.
TINA GOULD (she/her)- DIRECTOR– MERCHANDISE COORDINATOR
Tina was bornandraised inVictoria and feels privileged toserveour communitieson thetraditionallandsof the LekwungenandWSÁNEĆpeoples. Tina first beganworking in Victoria’s LGBTQ2S community inthe late 90s when she put onsome of thefirstallgendereventsin Victoria,revivedMr. Gay VancouverIsland,brought inQueerentertainersfromacrossCanada, and occasionallytendedbar. After takinga welldeserved break from eventplanning, Tina is back onthe sceneandapplying herskillsand passion to hercommunitiesin thebest waysthat shecan. InTina’s role as the VictoriaPride Society’sMerchandiseCoordinator,she is responsiblefor the design and distribution ofallmaterials that areused to promote the Society and ourEvents, Programs &InitiativesSoif you likethat t-shirt, flag,
bracelet, hat, button,sticker, youhave Tina to thank!
DR. LINDSAY HERRIOT (her/she)- DIRECTOR– TRANS TIPPINGPOINT
Dr. Lindsay Herriot isaqueer/bisexual adjunctprofessorat theUniversity of Victoriaandaspecialeducation teacherinSchool District 61. She’s been honoured to volunteerwith Victoria PrideSociety youth initiativessuch as the Pride Week Youth KickoffParty and the Youth Council. She is also the co-founder andco-coordinatorof the youth centered Transgender Tipping Point,which hashappily moved under the VictoriaPride Society umbrella.
KELLY LEGGE (she/her)- DIRECTOR– YOUTHENGAGEMENT CO-CHAIR
Kelly Legge(she/her) haslived inLekwungen and W̱SÁNEĆ territories, Victoria, forover 10 years. Kelly was achildand youth coach for8years. She currently worksat anIndigenous non-profit organization that facilitates Reconciliation workshops and training inAboriginalchild welfare. As a non-Indigenousperson, thework is rewarding,aconstantlearning,and fuels thepassionfor buildingcommunity partnerships. AsDragKing Persi Flage and formerMr. Gay VancouverIsland (2016)she co-founded Stachesand LashesCollective, agroup of drag performers who host queerartsevents,privilegingLGBTQ2* programmingforkids andyouth. She’sanaspiringfilm-makerandqueer-focusedchildren’sbook writer through HiveWorks Productions. For her,sharing queerstoriesiswhere the bliss is. She’sexcitedto bebringing herexperience and passions toVPS as a Director at Large andthe Youth Engagement Committee Co-Chair!
CHARLIE NASH(they/them)- DIRECTOR– ASSISTANTENTERTAINMENT COORDINATOR
Self-proclaimed locallegend, Charliealso goes byHenriettaDubét. Passionate about community, Charlie strives to taketheirenthusiasmand inject itstraight back into thescene that birthed them. They have not only workedwithinthe community tohelp fostersafespacesforqueeryouth through the StachesandLashesCollective, but they havealsoledworkshops indragmakeup application through the Trans TippingPointandat the Two SpiritConference. Charlie is not onlya loverof drag but also an advocateof trans (and human)rights andintersectionalfeminism.They are excited togiveback to theVictoria Pride Society inaconcrete way, as they have had thepleasure of being apart ofseveral Pride Festivals inthe past and enjoystheirinvolvement in the evolution of futureeventspresentedby theSociety. In addition,Charlieiseagerto apply theirskills to ongoingcommunity development in theirroleon theCommunityEngagementCommittee,and as Assistant FestivalEntertainmentCoordinator.
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Dear Pepper & Pearl,
Until recently, if you had asked me who I was, I would’ve told you that I was a trans boy (assigned female at birth). I started T a few months ago but when my voice starting dropping it made me feel dysphoric so I stopped. Still, my pronouns are he/ him but I feel most comfortable in female spaces… That is, until last weekend. I was out wearing a button -down shirt and when I tried using the women’s washroom in a public place, I was kicked out… Which made me feel really bad because that’s where I feel safest. But I also feel super-guilty because I’m very aware
that many trans guys out there would kill to be read as cis-male. And until recently, I’ve been wearing a binder to hide my breasts because of dysphoria and to appear more masc. But now I feel like I should be wearing tops that show off my boobs so I don’t get dirty looks when I try to access female spaces. Funny thing is, the thought of it doesn’t make me feel dysphoric like it used to. Am I not trans enough? I don’t think I know who I am anymore. Please help.
A boy in a girl’s body in a boy’s body in a…
Dear boy/girl/boy/etc
Guess what, hun? You’re fine. It’s the rest of the world that’s confused. No, really! Everyone in the cis world keeps wanting to sort everyone into TWO distinct piles without admitting or realizing that it’s all just one pile –always has been. Gender is fluid. And I think that a large part of your confusion stems from trying to put labels on things that shouldn’t even have labels. But I understand as well. Sometimes selflabeling is a way of understanding and putting words to a feeling or experience in a way that you can make sense out of it. If I were to venture a guess, I might suggest that your experience is consistent
with many demiguys. Don’t quote me on that though. Do your own research into it. Demiguys often identify with masculinity in part, but not entirely or at all times. Regardless, before I go on, let me reassure you, that you are valid. There is no right or wrong way to experience gender and there is no better expert on who you should be, than YOU! First, let’s take a look at your recent experience. When you walked into the women’s washroom, you may or may not have been actively thinking about how people might read you, since you were you entering into a space that aligned with your agab (assigned gender at birth). Then, lo and behold, someone takes a look at you and decides that you don’t fit their mental image of what “woman” should look like, and polices you based on their prejudice. And that sucks! And it may not be a huge comfort to you, but I assure you, it’s got NOTHING to do with YOU! Every day, in every country in the world, there are scores of CIS people being policed out of their own public washrooms too! And for most of them, being trans or non-binary isn’t even on their radar! Maybe that person’s hair was too short. Maybe for the other one, it was too long. Maybe it was the smooth skin or lack of facial hair. Maybe they had too much facial hair. Maybe it was a woman with hirsutism and PCOS. Maybe it was a man with gynecomastia. Take your pick. But fact is, people will always say inappropriate crap to others in public. But guess what? That neither invalidates your gender presentation, nor does it mean everyone else sees you the same way as that one individual did. On some days I might
get an equal number of Sirs and Ma’ams, depending on where I go and who I speak with.
Okay, so what do we make of your newfound desire to ditch the binders and go back to having visible breasts. Honestly, I don’t think it’s strange at all. It’s human nature to have the desire to feel safe in one’s space. Especially a bathroom, where we literally have our pants down and feel extra vulnerable and exposed. I would say that you are tying that need to feel safe with the elephant in the room – or elephants if you will…
The most visible, obvious characteristic that will make people see that you belong in the space you’ve chosen. I get it! Many a time, have I gotten SIRRED by someone in a store while wearing a low-cut dress, high heels and a makeup covered face, and I feel like yelling “would a SIR have TITS like these, dude?” But in my case, it’s because they aren’t looking at my boobs, but listening to my voice, which happens to be deeper than many women…
So, as it relates to advice… here’s the score. Yes, you COULD ditch the binder and wear a boob-a-licious top, but you are literally counting on and expecting that the gender police will LOOK at your BOOBS. But what if they don’t? What if they are using a completely different cue to determine that you’re the square peg in the round hole? What, are you going to keep changing things about yourself until you’re unmistakably read as cis-female? I’m not saying that’s wrong or bad But is that REALLY who you are? Is that REALLY what you want? Be true to yourself. Plus, would you being doing that for the
sole reason of not getting kicked out of a bathroom?
If so, I would propose avoiding dressing only for bathroom use. Yes, you would probably feel better about the likelihood of not being mis -gendered, but at what collateral cost? In any given day out on the town, I may use a public bathroom once or maybe twice. Each visit takes me 2 or 3 minutes. Okay, to err on the long side, let’s say 5 minutes per visit. There are 1,440 minutes in a day, or 480 minutes in an 8-hour period. This means that at worst, you spend 2% of your excursion in a public bathroom (but likely less than that). Are you really going to alter your appearance for that 2% of your day? How about the remaining 98%? Is it really going to make you happy if you aren’t dysphoric 2% of the time but feel like an imposter for the remaining 98%?
I’ll be honest with you. Some days I also worry about how people will read me in the spaces I choose. When it comes to bathrooms, I am always MOST comfortable in gender -free, accessible, or family bathrooms. Yes, they’re certainly not as common as the binary ones, but I do try to make use of them whenever available, and I do often tend to gravitate toward places that I know have them. But if they aren’t, I won’t shy away from using the bathroom where I feel safest. Period. I won’t let any gender police take that away from me. All it takes is having the spoons to do it. But where to get those spoons I’m afraid, is the topic for a future column.
