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Just like normal this month wee ccut ut tthe ut h he bike night listing out of the magazine aggaazi z ne due to the fact that many normally mally ally al y close out in September, but also soo this year there were a batch that h t ha cancelled completely. There are a few that still host bike nights in October, so if you can, hit those spots and enjoy some late season camaraderie and help support some small Iowaa businesses. I know that on this iss end, with being busy with other er magazine and family stuff and bike nights that were cancelled, we did not get to as many as normal, and the mileage on the bike for the year reflects that loudly. The events list is also pretty thin right now, but that is not out of the ordinary, but seems a little worse than normal. We are asking that anyone that hosts or plans an event lets us know when dates and such are set. That way we can build our list even well into 2021 so riders have something to look forward to. At this time, we sure as hell need that and a lot of people would love to see events on the list and look forward to attending them as a way to regain normalcy. Email the event date, event name, and starting location to Vernon@thunderroadsiowa.com and we will get it on the list. We all need things to look forward to because this year has been a terrible mess for a ton of reasons. We have been able to barely hold on financially, but page count and such are way down from normal for the riding season. We cannot complain, but there are many in Iowa that have lost their businesses, their dreams, their livelihoods, and that is a terrible thing to happen to anyone. Couple that with restrictions, limitations, and hate spewing and it makes for a powder keg of emotions and reactions from people. I don’t have any magic answers to the country’s problems, but I would advise that everyone keep their head on a swivel. Keep your wits about you especially when you are out and about and always watch out for everyone else. We will
obviously recommend that everyone arm themselves legally and with as much as their means will allow and learn and train on how to protect yourself and your loved ones in the event of the need arising. Band together with those that you know will have your back if the proverbial substance hits the fan and take care of each other. On top of that, be decent, be polite, be respectful, be cautious, do no harm, and just try to get along with those other humans around us. That is our plan, to try to respect the right of other’s opinions and beliefs, and not jam our own on other people. We have tried really hard to get along with others that may disagree with us. If we cannot find a common ground, we try to just be nice and respectful of those people we don’t necessarily see eye to eye with. As we are closing out on the most difficult riding season we have ever encountered, we would like to relay heartfelt gratitude to those that support us. Our loyal and valued customers that have stuck with us through thick and thin are the bomb, and we appreciate all of you more than we can say. Thank you for keeping us afloat during the good and the bad times in the last ten plus years of publishing our beloved Thunder Roads Magazine of Iowa. We would also like to thank the readers who look at our pages every month whether it is a hard copy or the electronic versions posted on our website and Facebook pages every month. We could not do this without any of you and we are happy to have each and every one of our readers, sponsors, and supporters in our corner. Thank you! The Schwarte Clan, Vernon, Melanie, Sabin, Soren, and Violet Right On, Ride On! Quote of the Month: “I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America, and to the republic for which it stands, one nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.”
On the Cover We got some cool shots from Danny Carman with a special thanks to Pete Leehey, Dan Matzdorff, Cam Leehey, and Jon Jansen (Ginger) for taking a busy day out of the office to do some riding and smiling for the camera. These guys are award winning attorneys from www.thebikerlawyers.com and can be found there or at 877-209-9452 if you find yourself in need of awesome legal representation anywhere in the Midwest. 4 - TRMI OCTOBER 2020
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Mark and I were out in the driveway getting our bikes ready to head out for a ride last weekend when I suddenly realized that something was different. Oh yeah – I didn’t have sweat pouring down my back while I was standing still! The sunshine combined with the cooler temperatures promised an enjoyable day ahead. As we rolled out onto the street that runs in front of our house, I was struck by how bare our place looked with the last of our big trees gone. We live in the house Mark’s grandparents built; then his parents raised Mark and his sisters there; and later, we raised our children there. Mark’s grandfather had planted elms, maples and a pin oak on the parking back in 1943 and they were huge by the time we moved in. They provided great shade, but we spent weeks raking leaves every fall. One by one, they succumbed to whatever diseases kill trees and the city forester removed them till we had just one lonely maple left. By the time summer hit this year only one branch had enough life in it to produce leaves. There was no doubt that the maple was destined for firewood. I was gone when the tree service arrived to take the tree out, and by the time I came home, all that was left was the bottom twenty-two-ish feet of the main trunk. I didn’t see a cherry picker anywhere – just one guy up in the tree with several more guys milling around on the ground. I watched as Tree-guy began to maneuver his way down the trunk. Between a rope that was cinched around his waist and then looped around the tree trunk and a pair of spiked boots, he frog-hopped his way down the trunk. When he got about 8 feet below the top of the tree, he tied himself off, then ran some cables around the trunk several feet above where he was tied off. He threw the other ends of the cables down to the guys on the ground and one of them sent a chainsaw up to him. Tree-guy fired the saw up and started cutting into the trunk about a foot and a half above his anchor rope. I watched as he manhandled the chainsaw from his precarious position, woodchips pelting him, sweat pouring off him with the effort of his balancing act. Suddenly I realized that his position was dangerous not just because of how high he was, but because if that five-foot-long, three-foot-diameter trunk piece tipped over backward, it was going to land right on him. And as if that wasn’t enough fun, it would surely take him all the way down onto the street below. At that moment, the guys on the ground grabbed the ends of the cables and skipped back quickly from the tree, pulling the cables tightly in the opposite direction of Tree-guy, leaning outward to apply the continuous pressure needed to deflect the trunk away from their co-worker. As Tree-guy powered his way past the half-way mark, the tree began to groan until that gigantic section of trunk abruptly gave way, crashing to the ground with a Whoomp! that shook the whole house. As I headed back into the house, it hit me that I had just seen a great picture of the importance of supporting one another in prayer. Tree-guy represents any one of us who is in the middle of a precarious situation: it may be family problems, health or job issues, or a personal demon that we have been struggling to overcome. Like Tree-guy, the one in need is doing the majority of the heavy lifting: he’s the one who is on the front line of the issue getting pelted continually by the daily failures, the one who has to keep grinding away at the problem, stroke after stroke. The cables 6 - TRMI OCTOBER 2020
thrown down represent this person’s request for prayer. The guys on the ground straining away on the cables represent friends, who through prayer, help take some of the pressure off the one in need. I know that many times I have felt frustrated because I’ve wanted to help fix a situation, but couldn’t. I ended up feeling like I had somehow failed because “all I could do was pray”. But then I discovered that Galatians 6:2 tells us to “Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ.” That puts prayer on a whole different level. The story is changed because now I know that it’s not just a case of my friend’s desperate needs and my puny prayers. I am reminded that when we pray, God himself is involved in the struggle. That doesn’t necessarily mean things will turn out the way we think they should, but it does mean that the Lord God, the Creator of Heaven and Earth is by our side. As we continue to stumble our way through 2020, may we continue to remember those around us who have needs that only God can meet. May we remember to spend more time thanking God for his blessings and less time thinking about our losses. May we remember to spend more energy on forgiving and less on being angry. May we remember that God’s ways are higher than our ways and be willing to quiet our hearts before him when our plans and dreams come crashing to the ground. May we find our peace in knowing that God WAS in control, God IS in control, and God WILL BE in control. Blessings – Karla Mark and Karla Cornick are with the Christian Motorcyclists Association. Find out more about CMA and about God’s plan for your life at www.cmausa.org
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Edwards Motorsports and RV’s The Biker Friendly Business Directory is a list of establishments 1010 34th Avenue throughout Iowa that sponsor the Council Bluffs, Iowa 51501 magazine. You can pick up your 712-366-8400 copy here every month. Let them fullthrottleia.com or edwardsrvs.com know that you saw them in TRMI. If your business would like to Indian Motorcycle of Des Moines advertise in Thunder Roads Iowa 1500 E Army Post Road Biker Friendly Business Listing and Des Moines, Iowa 50315 become a part of the network, 515-256-9062 please email Indianmotorcycleofdesmoines.com vernon@thunderroadsiowa.com
Biker Accessories Crispy’s Biker Apparel Cedar Rapids, Iowa Find Us On Facebook
Candy Store Harlan Sweets & Treats 1004 6th Street Harlan, Iowa 51537 712-755-7018 Harlansweetsandtreats.com
Dealers Baxter Cycle 311 4th Street Marne, Iowa 51552 712-781-2351 www.baxtercycle.com Big Barn Harley-Davidson 81 NW 49th Place Des Moines, Iowa 50313 515-265-4444 www.bigbarnhd.net Carroll Cycle Center 1327 Plaza Dr Carroll, Iowa 712-792-1610 www.carrollcycle.com
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Indian Motorcycle of Mason City Mason City Powersports 12499 265th Street Mason City 641-423-3181 Masoncitypowersportsinc.com Loess Hills Harley-Davidson 57408 190th Street Pacific Junction IA 51561 712-800-3500 loesshillshd.com Metro Harley-Davidson 2415 Westdale Drive SW Cedar Rapids, Iowa 52404 319-362-9496 www.metro-motorsports.com Nishna Valley Cycle HONDA – YAMAHA – KTM Atlantic, Iowa 50022 1-888-577-6406 www.nishnavalleycycle.com Route 65 Harley-Davidson 1300 S Jefferson Way Indianola, Iowa 50125 515.962.2160 www.route65hd.net Storm Lake Honda 3040 Expansion Blvd Storm Lake, Iowa 50588 StormLakeHonda.com 712-732-2460 Zylstra Harley-Davidson 1930 E 13th Street Ames, Iowa 50010 515-232-6223 zylstrahd.com
Entertainment Book Em Dano’s 33 S Main Street Denison, Iowa 51442 712-263-9818 Mon-Sat 4-2 Dancers Nightly 5-1:30
Big Daddy’s 506 W Main Street Lewis, Iowa 51544 M,W,TH,F 4PM-*, Sat-Sun Noon-* Zipp’s Pizza & Big Patio! Bloodline Irish Pub 214 Public Square Greenfield, Iowa 50849 Bloodline Irish Pub on Facebook
Celebrations DJ & Karaoke Services Newton, IA 641-521-8036 Catfish Charlie’s Any Occasion /Rally or Event EmCee On the Mississippi River Facebook/Ray Johansen(Celebrations) 1630 E. 16th Street Dubuque, IA 52001 Specializing in Weddings & Receptions (563)582-8600 www.CatfishCharliesDubuque.com National Motorcycle Museum 102 Chamber Drive Desperados Anamosa, Iowa 52205 105 E 5th Street Atlantic 319-462-3925 712-243-7087 Nationalmcmuseum.org Home of Cold Beer, Good Times, Pizza & Wings Okoboji Classic Cars Museum and Restoration Shop Firehouse Bar 810 Jeppeson Road 1211 5th Street West Okoboji, Iowa 51351 Downtown Sioux City, IA 712-332-8029 712-224-1020 Open Daily at 12:00
Food and Drink
(Popular Poker & Fun Run Locations)
American Legion Post 111 1101 W 4th Street S Newton 641-792-3353 Open to the Public 7 Days a Week Newtonamericanlegion111.org Amigo’s 280 North 1st Street Fort Dodge, Iowa 50501 515-576-0142 Amigos Bar & Restaurant on FB Bea’s Place 108 N Main St Baxter 641-227-2080 Check Us Out on Facebook Food, Live Music, Bike Nights
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Flaming Office 201 W High Street Toledo 641-484-2255 Outdoor Patio, Happy Hour 5-7 Flaming Office on Facebook & Google Goozman’s Westside Bar & Grill 1019 7th St Harlan, Iowa 712-755-2259 Goozman’s Westside on Facebook Haverhill Social Club 202 1st Street Haverhill, Iowa 50120 641-475-3321 Tues-Sat 10-2, Sun 12-12 Iowa Legendary Rye 707 N Main Street Carroll, Iowa 51401 Iowalegendaryrye.com
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J.R. Willie’s Pines Steakhouse Oinkers Lounge & Grill 1500 E 7th Street Gateway to the Beautiful Hill Country Atlantic, Iowa 50022 Colesburg, IA 563-856-5095 712-243-3606 Open Daily Mon-Sun 11AM M-F 11AM-, S-S 4PMHome of the Willie Whopper
State Farm Clark Ahrenholtz, Agent NMLS# 1679997 2114 12th Street Harlan, Iowa 712-755-5724 Clark.ahrenholtz.jb69@statefarm.com
The Place2B! 116 N. Federal Ave Mason City, IA 50401 M-F 3p-2a S-S 2p-2a Find Us On Facebook
Just 1 More 515-570-4206 641-757-0159 309 Railway Jamaica, Iowa 50128
Polk City Pub 217 W Broadway Polk City, Iowa 50226 515-984-9388 Open @ 11:00AM / Closed Mon.
The Yankee Clipper 312 SW Maple St Ankeny, Ia 50023 515-964-9484 yankeeclipperbar.com
McCanns Tap NE 14th & 54th Des Moines, Iowa 50313 Bike Parking M-F 2:00 Sat & Sun 11:00
Riverside Tavern 450 E Main St Lehigh, Iowa 50557 515-359-9998 Email:riversidetap@gmail.com
Twisted Corn Tavern 1405 Walnut Street Dallas Center, Iowa 50063 515-992-3868 Twisted Corn Tavern on Facebook
Mi Casa Family Restaurant 512 Market Street Harlan, Iowa 51537 712-755-2258 Enjoy Drinks at the Full Bar!
Sandbar 103 North Noyes Street Mondamin, Iowa 51557 712-646-2300 Facebook Sandbar Mondamin
Vic’s Main Tap 304 Broadway Audubon, Iowa 50025 712-563-2122 Opens Sun-Fri 2:30, Sat 9:30
Midway Tavern 206 1st Street Soldier, Iowa 712-884-2230 www.midwaytavernsoldier.com
Sidetracked 206 West Union Street Creston, Iowa 50801 641-782-8534
Whiskey Barrel Pub and Eatery 112 E Jefferson Street Prairie City, Iowa 50228 515-630-9639 Whiskey Barrel Pub and Eatery on FB
Montgomery Street Pub 207 East Montgomery Street Creston, Iowa 50801 641-782-2165
Stumpy’s Bar & Grill 423 Main Street Duncombe, Iowa 50532 515-543-4222 Stumpy’s Bar & Grill on Facebook
Old Timer Tavern 401 S Center Street Marshalltown Mon-Sat 6am-2am, Sun 12pm-2am Outdoor Patio-Live Entertainment 641-753-9854 and Facebook
Sugar’s Diner & Lounge 2725 E Kanesville Blvd Council Bluffs, Iowa 712-322-3600 Check us out on Facebook
Papa Joe’s 117 South 6th Street Missouri Valley, Iowa 51555 712-642-9015
The Exchange 171 S Elm Street Avoca, Iowa 51521 712-343-2609 Lang’s Pizza, Cold Beer, Sports
Pearl Street Social Club 110 Pearl Street SW Shellsburg, Iowa 52332 319-436-7100 Find Us On Facebook!
The Open Road Bar & Grill 501 Ann Street Irwin, Iowa 51446 712-782-4545 The Open Road, Bar and Grill, LLC on FB
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Legal Hupy and Abraham sc, pc Lawyers for Bikers 800.800.5678 Hupy.com TheBikerLawyers.com The Biker Lawyers, P.C. Riding & Defending Your Rights for Over 30 Years 877-209-9452
Photo and Art
Wilson’s Tap and Recreation 1008 Story Street Boone, Iowa 50036/ 515-433-1395
Ullrich Photography PO Box 1842 Clinton, Iowa 52733 563-243-8715 www.natanic.com
Services
Guns and Ammo
Jason Roberts, LLC Haul It, Dig It, Doze It Code931993@yahoo.com 641-740-1411
JLM Shooters Supply 6931 Douglas Avenue Urbandale, Iowa 50322 jlmgunshop@gmail.com 515-331-1577
Shops & Fabricators
Insurance & Financial
Blackwell Gas 431 3rd Street Manilla, Iowa 51454 712-654-2812
O’Malley Wealth Mgmt. 5623 NW 86th Street Suite 400 Johnston, Iowa 50131 515-490-0930
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Butterfield’s M.C. Parts 8025 Blondo Street Omaha, NE 68134 402-391-3768
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Chuck’s Cycle Service and Repair S&S and Drag Specialties Dealer 714 East 7th Street Washington, Iowa52353 319-461-5278
Mean Machine Cycle Parts Elkhart, Iowa 50073 Stereos, Bars, LED Lights, Air Ride Mon-Fri 9-6, Sat 9-12 515-367-7336
Road Rage BikeWorks 401 High Street Avoca, Iowa 51521 712-307-6111 Road Rage BikeWorks on Facebook
Cycle Clinic 2209 ML King Pkwy Des Moines, Iowa 50314 cycleclinicdm.com 515-288-6954
Motorcycle Medic 3176 Highway 30 Woodbine, Iowa 51579 712-647-2818 Open Tues-Sat Noon-6PM
The Vic Shop DeSoto, Iowa 515-339-4313 Facebook.com/TheVicShop VICTORY & INDIAN ONLY
Eagle Motorsports 1425 Washington Street Eldora 641-939-1461 hotrod70@mchsi.com Eagle Motorsports on Facebook
Nelson Machine & Forge General Machining, Ornamental Iron, Weld/Fab 70 Washington Street Marne, Iowa 51552 712-781-2220
Thunder Road Cycles 4106 Rockingham Rd Davenport, Iowa 52802 563-323-3172 Thunder Road Cycles on Facebook
F & J Racing 701 N 3rd Ave Marshalltown, Iowa 50158 641-752-8651 www.fandjracing.com
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Trailers Lacaeyse Trailer Sales 4192 HWY 146 Grinnell Trailers & Truck Accessories 641-990-2674 www.lacaeysetrailers.com
SHOP EQUIPMENT Shop Tools Outlet Powersport / Auto Lift Supplier Marshalltown, IA 50158 888-288-6657 www.shoptoolsoutlet.com
Tires Sandbothe Firestone 1106 Main Street Griswold, Iowa 51535 712-778-2223 Sandbothe Firestone on Facebook
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wh att a dr a wha ag g... R A C E
If you happen to love fast cars or fast bikes and you haven’t been to Humboldt for the drags, well can you REALLY call yourself a race fan? The Humboldt County Dragway was originally built in 1964, so it’s not like you haven’t had a chance to get there. Over the years there have been several owners, but one thing has always stayed the same. The track offers plenty of opportunities each year for family friendly fun that is just plain cool. At the end of the 2017 season James Barhite and Dennis Quillen along with their families took over the management side of things at the track, and it has since been renamed the North Iowa Dragway. With new management have come many new ideas and plans for the future of the North Iowa Dragway, and we couldn’t be more pleased with that. Over the 4th of July holiday we had the pleasure of visiting the drag strip for the Vintage Motorcycle Drags. I can tell you firsthand that there is nothing cooler than watching old iron scream down the track, so if you have never been to the longest operating drag strip in Iowa, now is the time to head for Humboldt and experience it for yourself. Photo credit to Thunder Roads Magazine of Iowa’s own Jack Randleman Melanie J Schwarte
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Scooter Tramp Ol’ G O Gray Beard
RAMBLINGS
When I first thought about continuing my monthly column here with TRMI, I had in mind to basically go over some rides, events, parties, garage time, photo-shoots, or general experiences both new and from the past of my coverage with various national publications over the years. This month I’m gonna throw in something a bit different though… I’ve met a lot, and I do mean A LOT, of people in my travels over the years, most of which have been great folks, with a few bad apples, as could be expected. But I’d like to take this month’s ramblings to reflect on old biker friend of mine, who is truly a good egg, not one of those bad apples! 20 years ago, I was at J&P’s Open House and saw a wild looking Knuckle chopper in the show. It had a huge stock-car rear wheel (yes a full size race car tire!) with a complete brake set-up off a stock-car too, and with power transferred off the tranny from a jackshaft. The frame was all bare metal with fresh welds, so pretty obvious that it was a new build. The owner didn’t appear to be anywhere near the bike, and this was before social media, so I couldn’t rely on any call-outs to see if someone in the area new the owner. Therefore back in those days, I’d simply leave a business card and a note expressing my interest in photographing their bike, in hopes that they’d get the note and contact me. Often times the note could get blown away, or the owner simply wouldn’t see it before jumping on the bike, so it was always a hit-n-miss situation leaving me wondering if they ever got my inquiry. But a few days later the phone rings and on the other end I hear “Nate… This is Harlan, I own the Knuckle chopper at J&P’s Open House.” He then gets quiet and I hear
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a beer can pop open, a few big gulps, followed by a brief belch, then he proceeded with “I’m interested in this note ya left on my bike!” Corny visual aside, I can’t recall how much time we spent on the phone that night, but I’m pretty sure he opened and slammed 3 or 4 more beers in the process! And he went on to give me a quick run-down that he’d owned the motor since the 70’s, which used to sit in a basically stock bike, but he recently had Jim Long (RIP) stroke it to 84 c.i. and he hand built the frame and jackshaft set-up. And, the bike was literally on its shake-down run that weekend, as he planned to tear it down again the following winter and tend to any issues that might come up, and paint the frame before final assembly. Bare metal frame and all, a month later we met with a model in Davenport to get some photos for a magazine submission, along with a web-site out of New York that was bugging me for some chopper material at the time. It was a great day of photos, along with the chance to get to know Harlan better and drink a couple beers with him in person, rather than over the phone. But before starting photos the model says “Is that a Shovel?” So I thought to myself bless her heart for trying to know Harley motors, and I simply replied “No, it’s a
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Knuckle.” She looked at me really weird and then blurts out “No, the rear fender!” And then sure as shit, Harlan went on to explain that he couldn’t find anything wide enough for a rear fender that looked good on the bike, until he spotted an aluminum scoop shovel in his shop, so he hacked the handle off and made it fit. He also went on to add that the seat pan was a spade shovel covered in leather too. This eye for ingenuity, along with his sincere love of old motorcycles and beer drinking habits were all sure signs that Harlan and I would be friends for years to come.
For a stretch of a few years, Sturgis really was about the only time Harlan and I would meet up, and he still likes to joke about the fact that we lived so close to each other, but had to cross 2 states and ride about 800 miles to have some beers together each year. This routine changed for the better in 2011 when I started photo-shoots for Natanic’s Pin-ups first biker babe calendar… Along with the Knuckle (which did get painted) Harlan had built numerous hot rods over the years, and still has a few in his collection, along with a 1948 Indian Chief, a 1970 Shovelhead and a few other projects that have come and gone. Therefore Harlan’s collection, along with a killer location for his shop, were all a perfect set-up for one of the first photo-shoots. Since then he’s had a car, bike, or his shop featured in every calendar since the beginning, including his Knuckle on the cover in 2015 and his Indian on the cover of this year’s edition. Harlan’s one person that I can count on to provide automotive material and a location, sometimes at last minute, and he’s always happy to oblige. Might be the fact that there’s always pretty girls hanging around his shop again, but I like to think it’s simply because he knows we’re gonna have a chance to drink some beers again!
Harlan was the proprietor of his own steel building business for many years at that point, and I would stop by his shop at last once a year to shoot the shit, and each year he had a new addition to his own shop, pretty much all made out of left over supplies from various jobs. On one particular stop, my wife Theresa and I stopped by while on the bike on the 4th of July. We had intensions on being home well before dark, but after a few hours of talking with Harlan about his chopper riding days of years past, it was getting close to dark, and cooling off. Theresa didn’t pack a jacket, so Harlan let her borrow his old retired riding jacket, which she was floating in, but kept her warm the whole way home. Only requirement was that we returned it at some point, as he wanted to make sure it was In recent years, Harlan has retired from his steel available for the next person that needed something warm business, giving him time to watch his grandkids grow for the ride home. up, and to tend to projects around his shop, assuring that I have reason to stop out and do more photo-shoots. Life got more and more busy for me, making it The days of riding his supercharged Evo Heritage for a harder to stop by regularly, even though we only live about highway bike have been replaced with bagger days, but 70 miles from each other, but we would occasionally meet the bagger also led him on a ride with his son to Alaska up in Sturgis for a couple nights of partying, and in 2008 in 2017, and him and I rode together through the New Harlan and I rode to Sturgis together, with a night at my England states last summer. So in closing this month’s friend Jody’s place in Minnesota on the way there. And ramblings, I wanted to take a different approach to my after a few days of hanging with Jody, Harlan dubbed him story subject, and talk about a good friend. People like the nickname “Jungle Jody.” We’ll just say Jody isn’t Harlan are the true representation of a good-hearted afraid of much, and never slows down! person, and I hope that everyone reading this can relate to a person of this sort in their own life. Nate Ullrich www.Natanic. com
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Jackie Kalkhoff Manning 2020 Harley Freewheeler FLRT
Sherry Sumner Newhall. 2012 883XL Sporty
Sota Storm Lake Can Am Spyder 16 - TRMI SEPTEMBER 2020
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to arrive. The waitress was very friendly and attentive, and despite appearing to be a bit understaffed, kept our coffee cups full. Before we knew it, our plates arrived and we had a hard time even waiting to snap a couple of pictures for your viewing pleasure before digging in.
Ainsworth Four Corners Restaurant & Fuel Stop 3112 Highway 92 Ainsworth, IA 52201 (319) 657-4441 Open 5:00 AM - 10:00 PM Daily
We were spending a couple of days away from home attending an advertiser’s event in Conesville when the idea struck us, that in all the years of sharing Will Ride To Eat with our loyal readers, we have rarely focused on breakfast as the main event. This lead us to the realization that we truly love breakfast and we should hop on the bike immediately and rectify the situation. Lucky for us just a few miles down the road sits the Four Corners Restaurant and Fuel Stop…or FoCo, for short. You may be asking, what exactly is FoCo, well, allow me to explain what is in store for patrons who visit this locally owned family restaurant that has been dishing up good eats since 1958. In addition to serving breakfast ALL DAY, they also offer a wide range of sandwiches, homemade soups, salads (and a vast salad bar) and fresh baked homemade pies! The morning we arrived there was a constant bustle of waitresses refilling coffee cups and carrying platters of breakfast goodness to eager customers. Our waitress arrived at our table just as we sat down and offered us something to drink. We are rather fond of coffee, so of course we accepted her offering of hot bean juice and immediately went to work studying the menu. Breakfast offerings include classics like pancakes, omelets, and eggs and toast, but they also offer some local favorites like “The Mess” which is offered in a couple different ways, but basically consists of hash browns, scrambled eggs, cheese, and various breakfast meat options.
Vernon’s choice of chicken fried steak consisted of a large platter piled high with a layer of fresh hash browns, a tender beef steak, breaded and fried to crispy perfection and covered with delicious sausage gravy. Sitting right on top were two perfectly cooked over medium eggs. Warm wheat toast accompanied the platter, and was perfect for mopping up any extra sausage gravy left behind. My omelet was quite possibly the fluffiest, most delicious omelet I have ever had the pleasure of eating. It was masterfully composed of layer after layer of fluffy egg, stuffed full of fresh diced onion, green pepper, smoked ham, and just the right amount of sharp cheddar cheese to hold it all together. My omelet had the option of a big ol’ side of hash browns as well, but I opted for just the wheat toast on the side. And, boy am I glad I did, because as delicious as my meal was, I just couldn’t manage to eat it all. Small portions definitely DO NOT exist at Four Corners, so make sure you bring your appetite when you visit. This time around was all about breakfast for us, but honestly, I can’t wait to make a return trip and try all of the other options on the FoCo menu. If I hadn’t been so full after that monster omelet this time, I would have paused a little longer by the pie cooler and snagged myself a piece of that homemade French silk pie I saw eyeballing me on my way out the door! Next time you find yourself on Highway 92 in the Ainsworth area, be sure to make the stop at FoCo. I am sure you won’t be disappointed. Melanie J Schwarte If you have a place you think should be featured in WRTE, let me know at Melanie@thunderroadsiowa.com
Vernon decided on the chicken fried steak breakfast and I went with the Western omelet. Both of us continued to drool over other patrons’ deliveries while we waited for our order www.thunderroadsiowa.com 18 - TRMI OCTOBER 2020
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T TRMI found f d this h and d thought h h it interesting to share h with h riders. This outlines what is expected of those in active service that ride.
motorcyclist l can bbe injured, d or kkilled. ll d This lleader’s d ’ b bookk is designed to help leaders and riders better understand the rules, and regulations for motorcycles. It also contains a motorcycle checklist for leaders, so they can inspect US ARMY MOTORCYCLE SAFETY HANDBOOK FOR motorcycles quarterly. This information should be in a LEADERS AND RIDERS motorcyclists’ counseling packet. Soldiers and Leaders have a Responsibility; to become educated, by supporting our The following are guidelines issued by the United States senior leaders, by demanding that our soldiers and fellow Army, intended to keep soldiers safe on two wheels and valid riders set the standards of conduct while on a motorcycle for civilian riders as well. Followed up by the signing of the and by accepting nothing less from our riders and Leaders. acknowledgement of responsibility by all soldiers who ride. Remember- If a soldier purchases a motorcycle- they have We should all be so diligent. 10 days to enroll into an approved MSF class. III Corps Safety has a contract with an approved Motorcycle Safety A Note to Leaders and Riders. Motorcycles are unlike any Foundation (MSF) contractor to administer the MSF course; other recreational vehicle. Boats, Jet skis, snowmobiles, for further information call 254.287.4639. It is your duty and and others have their own areas, and environments that responsibility to ensure they attend an approved MSF class. allow them to be enjoyed in relative isolation. Motorcycles, It is also the leadership’s duty to make sure they are licensed on the other hand, constantly interact with the local to operate the motorcycle and the motorcycle is insured. The population. They share the same roads, and environments motorcycle needs to be inspected regularly, especially during that everyone else populates. This puts motorcycles at an holiday weekends. If the soldier displays conduct on the extreme disadvantage. Motorcycles are harder to see, and motorcycle that shows a disregard for safety- counsel that require the motorcyclist to be a “smarter” and “better” soldier and have them attend the MSF class again. Soldier driver than those of the 4-wheeled world. Motorcycles are skills are based on standards, and we always train and like helicopters- they require constant input and constant retrain to that standard. response. They also require the rider to respond quickly. Motorcycles will not “drive” themselves. From the time I understand that as a soldier riding a motorcycle, both you start your motorcycle to the time you park it, you are on and off post, I must abide by the rules and regulations working against many laws- the law of gravity, and the laws covering motorcycles and motorcycle safety. I understand it of physics. To prove this point, Take a motorcycle off its is my duty and responsibility to wear my personal protective center stand, and let it go. It will just fall over. Try taking a equipment at all times. I am in possession of a DOT helmet, curve on a motorcycle, and not counter steer, you will just full-fingered gloves, and a retroreflective vest. I am also go straight and crash. These are only 2 examples. We all aware that in order ride within the regulation, I must also know how challenging it is to drive a car, now add all of the wear, a long sleeve shirt or jacket, long pants, and over the challenges of riding a motorcycle, and you have a full plate. ankle leather shoes. AR 385-55 and local post policies dictate Motorcyclists as a rule ride for many reasons. It could be that I will wear my helmet when riding my motorcycle, both financial; it could be for fun, or an expression of personal on and off post. Failure to comply with Army regulations freedom. Most riders agree that Personal freedom is the could result in my loss of motorcycle driving privileges. If biggest reason. But just like any other Freedoms, especially I am involved in a motorcycle accident and it is found that in this case, freedom isn’t free. Riding a motorcycle comes I have violated the regulation, I could be held liable for all at a cost. The cost is responsibility; Responsibility to ride medical costs that I incur as a result of that accident. If I lose in a legal mature manner and as soldiers to ride within the my life, and found to have violated the UCMJ, My survivors Military Rules, and regulations. AR 385-55 and AR 190-5 could be denied my SGLI benefits. Operator and Inspector give soldiers and their leaders the basic guidelines on riding Signatures Operator Signature ________/______________ safely. DOD regulation 6055.4 gives civilian employers Date Inspector ______________________/_____________ guidance for their employees. Local post policy letters add ____________ Print Signature Date to the regulation or make clarifications to the regulation for their areas. These regulations are made to keep us safe- and just like any other regulation, if they are not followed, the 24 - TRMI OCTOBER 2020
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The Stuff of Legends:
B Margie Siegal Taken from By h https://www.motorcycleclassics.com
THE... Harley D av i d s o n JDH If you had a need for speed, the Harley-Davidson JDH, arguably the first Superbike, was the machine for you. Harley-Davidson JDH Claimed power: 29hp @ 4,000rpm Top speed: 85mph Engine: 1,207cc (74.7ci) air-cooled IOE 45-degree V-twin, 3.424in x 4in bore and stroke, 6.5:1 compression ratio Weight (wet): 408lb (185kg) Fuel capacity: 4.75gal (18ltr) Price then/now: $370/$45,000-$65,000 Is the Harley-Davidson JDH the first Superbike? When motorcycle magazines started talking about Superbikes in the late Sixties, they were big-bore motorcycles with speed and panache, bikes that broke quarter-mile times and turned heads with equal ease. The implication in the excited magazine articles was that this type of machine was a recent development. As Exhibit A in the “It Ain’t Necessarily So” department, Motorcycle Classics presents the HarleyDavidson JDH, the machine that helped the Twenties roar.
archrival Indian concentrated on selling bikes to the American expeditionary forces, starving its dealers and leaving the field open for Harley to expand. In 1915, Harley sold over 16,000 motorcycles, mostly 61-cubic-inch twins. Good sales led to improvements in the product. An electric headlight and taillight were offered as an option, as well as Harley’s first 3-speed transmission. The oiling system was improved, and Harley guaranteed its twins would develop 11 whole horsepower. The valve gear on Harley’s 1915 V-twins was inlet over exhaust, with the intake valve operated by a cam lobe in the crankcase via a long pushrod and an exposed rocker to the valve, which sat atop a valve pocket cast into the cylinder. The exhaust valve, located in the bottom of the valve pocket, was also moved by a cam lobe, but with a much shorter pushrod. This inlet-over-exhaust top end was messy — oil mist got over everything from the exposed valves. Yet it worked, and worked well, and Harley used this system for the next 15 years. In 1917, in a bow to the doughboys of World War I, all Harleys were painted a shiny olive drab livened up by fancy pinstriping instead of the gray used previously. Except for two years when Harley tried a different green, the stock color on all its bikes through the early Thirties was olive drab.
The JDH The JDH has been the stuff of legends for over 80 years. It weighed about 408 pounds, was powered by a 74-cubicinch V-twin and was good for 85mph in standard trim — 100mph if you matched the manifold to the cylinder heads and knew how to tune the beast. Based on factory racing designs, a JDH would blow away almost everything else on the road, two wheels or four, when it was introduced in 1928. In the late Twenties, if you had a need for speed, a JDH was the cat’s pajamas. The bike that became the Harley JDH took shape in the period around World War I, a time when Harley-Davidson’s In 1919, Harley started building racers with two cam gears (with two lobes on each gear) on separate shafts instead of having all four cam lobes mounted on one gear shaft. The idea was to reduce reciprocating weight and reduce the length of the cam followers. The two-cam engines could rev higher than comparable Harley single cam twins, and they were fast and reliable in a racing environment. In the beginning, two-cam engines were only available to factory racers.
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In 1920, Harley-Davidson finished constructing the largest motorcycle plant on the planet, and started building its own generators and coils. By then, the company employed 2,400 people. Only 14 years earlier, the Harley shop was so small Thunder Roads Magazine of Iowa on Facebook www.thunderroadsiowa.com
it was picked up and moved back a couple of feet to avoid encroaching on a railroad right of way.
Changing markets The American motorcycle market had changed considerably in those 14 years. When Harley started production, most motorcycles were bought for economical transportation. With the advent of the Ford Model T, an increasing percentage of the economical transport crowd abandoned their bikes for four wheels. Most American motorcycle manufacturers went out of business, and the few left got by through a combination of overseas exports, sales to sport riders, urban commercial sales and police sales. A major market for Harley-Davidson was motorcycle-based commercial delivery vehicles, which could thread through crowded city streets. The commercial purchasers demanded reliability, and police purchasers also wanted power. In 1921, Harley came out with its first 74-cubic-inch V-twins. Harley continued to build two-cam racers, refining the design every year, but they were still not available to the general public. Some dealers with an “in” to the factory were able to get one, but the hot engines were out of reach for the average enthusiast. Good times led to an increase in the number of sport riders. Starting in the mid-Twenties, Harley-Davidson pushed the idea of motorcycle clubs all over the country. Dealers were encouraged to sponsor clubs and provided with literature
inchers and the Model JD 74s. However, these were basically commercial machines; many sport bike enthusiasts preferred Indian 101 Scouts and Excelsior 45-cubic-inch Super X twins, while still others bought Henderson Fours. Harley felt the need to offer a sporting machine to compete.
One for the road In 1928, Harley finally broke down and started offering road going versions of its two-cam engines to the general public. Available in JH 61-cubic-inch and JDH 74-cubicinch versions, the production two-cammers had the same general setup as the contemporary two-cam racers. The twin cams acted through tappets to actuate the overhead intake valve pushrod and the exhaust valve. The intake valves had double valve springs and the springs on the exhaust valves were uncovered for increased cooling. Lifter blocks on top of the right case helped route oil back to the crankcase and pistons were domed magnesium alloy, producing a compression ratio of 6.5:1. Harley offered a sports package, called the Sport Solo, which included narrower gas tanks and 18inch wheels. The package also included shorter handlebars that were more like the bars on modern bikes and less like the wheelbarrow-like bars on earlier motorcycles. Many two-cammers came with this package, and the package was also available for the standard V-twins. The 74-inch JDH cylinders are identifiable by continuous fins around the exhaust valve area, which increased cooling. Sometime earlier, the company had started to make optional colors available, another bow to the needs of sport riders. Although these optional colors were not advertised to the general public, dealer circulars and paint chip sets that have surfaced show that the optional 1928 colors included cream, white, coach green, azure blue, police blue and maroon. A JDH was not cheap. The sticker price of $335 in 1928 dollars increased to $370 in 1929. At the time, $385 would buy a bare-bones Model A Ford. A tuned JDH could not run on the low-octane fuel available at most pumps, however, so owners who increased the compression ratio and horsepower had to buy or concoct expensive high-octane fuel mixtures.
All Harley Big Twins, including the two-cammers, received three important updates in 1928: a new air cleaner, a throttle controlled oil pump and a front brake. Riders had considered front brakes dangerous on the largely unpaved roads of early Twentieth century America. During the 1920s However, the combination of general prosperity and roads had gradually improved, and better roads meant Harley’s push for club formation brought new riders into the higher speeds were practically possible — a front brake was fold. Harley dealers found that supporting clubs and social both safe and necessary. events was good for business: An active local motorcycle club meant increased sales of motorcycles in general and The 1929 version of the JDH included a lot of one-yearsport bikes in particular. Harley’s sales numbers, which had only parts, including a four-tube muffler that many riders been stagnant, started to rise, and the sales leaders were the disliked because it was too quiet! Other one-year-only items faster twins. By 1927, Harley was selling over 18,500 bikes included dual headlights, a bigger Klaxon horn, and an a year, over 13,000 of which were the Model J 61-cubicCONT., turn the page! Thunder Roads Magazine of Iowa on Facebook www.thunderroadsiowa.com TRMI OCTOBER 2020 - 27 on how to get clubs started. Numerous enthusiast clubs had sprung up in the early years of the century, but many had fallen by the wayside after the get-to-work riders bought Model Ts.
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adjustable generator that let the rider turn the amperage up or down. In late 1929, Harley switched from the inlet-over-exhaust valve configuration to sidevalve V-twins. These sidevalve engines were heavier than the JDs, and JDs often beat the newer bikes in races during the 1930s. However, the sidevalve engines were more reliable and needed less maintenance.
Hard to find Harley has never provided production figures for the two-cammers. The only sales figures available lump the JH and JDH with JD V-twin production. Harley sold a lot of JDs in both 1928 and 1929, but most of these were probably singlecam machines. JDHs don’t turn up for sale very often. Pre-1931 HarleyDavidson restoration specialist Steve Thielicke says many JDHs and JHs he sees have welded cases from being ridden past redline too often. Steve is the owner of Preston Cycle Works in Preston, Washington. He first fell in love with vintage bikes at age 19, and acquired five JDHs “before they were worth anything,” he says. He eventually sold them off for a pile of Henderson parts. Steve’s father-in-law was a hill climber back in the day, and he stoked Steve’s lust for old bikes with stories of crazy biker stunts back in the day, with motorcycles that would now be worth a fortune. “I have a compilation of films of bike events from this area,” Steve says. “People are doing all sorts of things, having fun. We hold these bikes up on a pedestal, but at the time, they were just vehicles.”
Restorers expect basket cases to be missing hard-to-find parts, but amazingly, the two JDHs had all their sheet metal (the hardest to find item) in restorable shape, and almost all other parts present. Steve, like many old bike enthusiasts, has a stash of parts, and was happy to find that almost all the needed missing pieces were in his parts collection, except the exhaust. “Of the JDHs, this one was spectacular. The other had been blown up, and the cases welded. I used the best parts for this bike,” Steve says. Steve does his own sheet metal, his own painting and his own machine work. He sends out parts to be plated, but not before doing the prep work himself. The major challenge was replicating the exhaust — the 1929 four-pipe exhaust has a lot of separate pieces. “It took me two weeks just to make the exhaust.” Having most of the components is especially important for a 1929 JDH, as finding missing pieces is often impossible. “There are so many one-year-only parts on this bike,” Steve says. “Figuring out what is correct can be difficult. There is some, but not much literature. Sometimes, the correct parts are not in the catalog. They would make changes over a model year and not note the changes,” he says. Another hurdle is figuring out the correct finish for a particular part. Should it be nickel-plated, painted or Parkerized? Parkerization, a metal preservative finish used on many small parts, may have turned out differently in the 1920s due to the different chemicals available. “I have come up with my own Parkerizing solution, but even so, the hue on new metal is not the same as the color on old metal that has been cleaned,” Steve says. “The hue does not take uniformly, no matter what you do.” Steve says the JDH is easy to start and fun to ride, and with careful blueprinting and internal polishing, Steve thinks this machine may be able to reach the fabled “ton.” American Iron Magazine publisher and vintage bike fan Buzz Kanter rode a JDH in the 2012 Cannonball coast to coast endurance run, and kept it running for most of the almost 4,000-mile event (he had to have it trucked for one day of the event because of water in the tank). In published interviews, he agrees with Steve’s assessment of the JDH as a fast, easy-to-ride bike.
One night, Steve was flipping through Hemmings Motor News when he saw an ad for two JDHs at a more than These days, the bike belongs to vintage car and bike reasonable price. Thinking it had to be a joke, he let it go. collector Don Hart. “The JDH is a part of the Harley saga,” Shortly afterwards, he ran into the guy who bought the bikes — which actually turned out to be seven disassembled Don says. “It’s a piece of the puzzle, and there aren’t a lot of them around.” The stuff of legends, indeed. bikes. “It turned out to be the real deal,” Steve says. The buyer and Steve came to an agreement, and he ended up with all seven basket cases. Thunder Roads Magazine of Iowa on Facebook www.thunderroadsiowa.com TRMI OCTOBER 2020 - 29
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Wow, is it really October already? This year is just flying by and with the kind of year it has been I think we can probably all agree that it needs to continue to go by quickly. Getting started with a new year will do everyone some good.
At ABATE of Iowa we strongly believe that everyone needs to get out to vote. To make changes happen, everyone needs to get involved, know the people on your ballot whether it is a local official, a state
At ABATE of Iowa we are getting ready for the upcoming year and working on what to do regardless of how things may look after the upcoming elections. We support many candidates from both of the popular political parties. We watch all of the updates on election stats and races from the local level up to the federal level. These races have a huge impact on what bills we may have to either fight against or get behind and support to get passed in the upcoming legislative season.
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representative, federal senators and congressman/ woman, and even the president of the United States of America. If you want a change get out and vote. If you want to make things great, then get out and vote. The key is to make sure your voice is heard at the polls. David Duffy ABATE of Iowa State Coordinator
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The Toaster; otherwise known as, the ultimate bath bomb. 3 citizens were going through an exam to become agents of the FBI, their instructor handed the first guy a gun in a room with his wife and said he had to shoot them, he walked out in shame and said he couldn’t do it. The second guy had the same scenario, he put the gun up but couldn’t pull the trigger so he walked out in shame. The third guy was put in the same scenario, he walked out and told the instructor, “The gun wasn’t loaded, I had to strangle the bitch.”
just come down to the river tomorrow row aand nd w we’ll e ll e’ l orr show you.” The next day the doctor shows up and sees a group of men near a donkey. One man says “Since you’re our guest you get to go first.” The doctor not wanting to go against custom starts to kiss, then proceeds to have sex with the donkey. Then a man in n the group asks “Are you almost done ne Doc?” “We need the donkey to cross oss s Two kids were beating up a kid in an ally, so I stepped into the river in order to get to the tribe o off help. He didn’t stand a chance against the three of us. women.” I was digging in our garden when I found a chest full of gold coins. I was about to run straight home to tell my wife about it, but then I remembered why I was digging in our garden.
A kid walks by his parents having sex sex asks aassks ks what’s going on and his mother ttells ells el ls h him, im,, im “We are making fish sticks”. The next xt da dayy th thee kid says, “Mom were you making fissh h st stic sticks icks ic ks again?” And she says “Why, yes,, A robber breaks into a house while the residents are how did you know, honey?” And away one dark night. Eager to see what he can loot, he the kid replies, “Well, you have a quickly starts searching through cupboards and dressers, little tartar sauce on your mouth.” grabbing valuables with a trained eye. Suddenly, he hears a voice come out of nowhere. “Jesus is watching you.” The A girl goes into the doctor’s officee for for a criminal jumps, scared the residents are back, and freezes. checkup. As she takes off her blouse, use se,, th thee After a few minutes of silence however, he assumes it doctor notices a red ‘H’ on her chest. st. t “How “Ho How w was his imagination, and goes back to robbing. A couple did you get that mark on your chest?” asks the minutes pass, before once again, the voice returns. “Jesus doctor. “Oh, my boyfriend went to Harvard and he’s so is watching you.” Quite confused, the thief searches the proud of it he never takes off his Harvard sweatshirt, even house and checks the front door, but nothing pops out as when we make love,” she replies. A couple of days later, unusual. He finally decides to move rooms, and finds a another girl comes in for a checkup. As she takes off her parrot, but ignores it. Before he can begin to do anything, blouse, he notices a blue ‘Y’ on her chest. “How did you someone speaks again, “Jesus is watching you.” The robber get that mark on your chest?” asks the doctor. “Oh, my realized it was the parrot talking! Going to the parrot, he boyfriend went to Yale and he’s so proud of it that he never asks it, “Are you the one who’s been talking to me?” The takes off his Yale sweatshirt, even when we make love,” she parrot responds, “Yes.” The thief couldn’t believe it. So, he replies. A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a asks another question. “What is your name?” “Ismael.” the checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a green ‘M’ parrot replies. The man scoffed. “What type of idiot names on her chest. “Do you have a boyfriend at Michigan?” asks a parrot Ismael?” The parrot speaks yet again, “The same the doctor. “No, but I have a girlfriend at Wisconsin, Why type of idiot that names a Rottweiler Jesus.” do you ask?” A man walks into a bar and orders three shots of whiskey. The bartender asks, “What’s got you down?” The man says, “I just found out my nephew is gay.” the next day he orders four shots of whiskey and the bartender asks, “What’s got you down now?” The man says, “I just found out my son is gay.” The next day he orders six shots of whiskey. The bartender says, “Got anybody who likes women?” The man says, “My wife does.” A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.” The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do you want, son?” The boy takes the quarters and leaves. “What did I tell you?” said the barber. “That kid never learns!” Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream parlor. “Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?” The boy licked his cone and replied: “Because the day I take the dollar the game is over!”
A woman goes to her doctor and says she wants an operation because her vagina l**s are much too large. She asks the doctor to keep the operation a secret as she is embarrassed and does not want anyone to find out. The doctor agrees. She wakes up from the operation and finds three roses carefully placed on her nightstand. Outraged, she immediately calls the doctor and says” I told you not to tell anyone!” The doctor replies, “Don’t worry, I didn’t tell a soul!” When the woman inquires about the roses the doctor says, “Oh, those! The first rose is from me. I felt bad because you went through this all by yourself. The second rose is from my nurse. She assisted me with your operation and has been through this procedure herself, so she understands what you’re going through. And the third rose is from the guy upstairs in the burn unit. He wanted to thank you for his new ears.
A woman and baby are in the doctor’s office. The doc is concerned about the baby’s weight, “Is he bottle fed or breast fed? The woman replies, “Breast fed.” The doc gets her to strip down to her waist so he can examine her breasts. He pinches her nipples and rubs both boobs for a A big city doctor visits an Indian tribe full of men, he asks while … “No wonder the baby is underweight, you have no “How do you guys relieve your sexual tension?” “Simple, milk.” Woman replies, “I know. I’m his granny … but I’m 32 - TRMI OCTOBER 2020
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sure glad I came!”
identified the taste of cherries, lemons and mint, but when the teacher gave them honey-flavored lifesavers, all of the kids were stumped. I’ll give you a hint,” said the teacher. A duck, a pigeon, and a chicken “It’s something your mommy probably calls your daddy all all walk into a courtroom… the time.” Instantly, Little Johnny coughed his onto the The judge asked the duck, floor and shouted, “Quick! Spit’em out! They’re assholes!” “What is your crime?” The duck responds, “I was blowing bubbles A guy walks into a doctor’s office with a 5 iron wrapped in front of City Hall.” The judge around his neck and 2 black eyes. “What happened to says, “There’s no crime committed you?” asked the doctor. “Well it all started when my wife here, you’re free to go.” The judge and I were golfing and by accident she hit the ball into a then asks the pigeon, “What is your cow field. When we went to investigate, I saw the ball in crime?” The pigeon responds, “I was also blowing a cow’s ass. I went and lifted the tail of the cow and that’s bubbles in front of City Hall.” The judge looks a when I made my mistake.” The doctor looked puzzled and little confused but finally says, “There’s no asked, “What mistake was that?” “I said ‘Hey this looks crime committed here, you’re also free like yours hun!’” to go.” Lastly, the chicken walks up to the judge, and the judge asks, “What is A guy walks into the bar of a restaurant and goes to the your crime?” The chicken, first looking bartender and asks “how much for a beer?” The bartender back at the pigeon and the duck, then replies “$1”. The customer completely amazed, orders a turning to the judge says, “I’m bubbles.” beer then asks the bartender “Well then how much for a NY sirloin, with side of mashed potatoes and salad, and an Mrs. Jones goes to the doctor for a entire cheesecake for dessert?” The Bartender reply’s “$5”. full medical. After an hour or so, the The guy still amazed then orders everything and after he is doctor looks at Mrs. Jones and says the done eating his meal then says “Wow, this place is amazing, following: “Mrs. Jones, over all you are very I really wish I could meet the owner of this place”. The healthy for a 45-year-old. There is however, bartender then says “Oh well, he’s upstairs in his office with only one problem. You are 40 pounds overweight my wife”. The guy looks all confused then asks “What is he and bordering on obese. I would strongly suggest that you doing upstairs in his office with your wife?” The bartender diet now to save any complications in later years.” She then says “The same thing I’m doing to his business”. looks sternly at him and says, “I demand a second opinion”. “OK” he says, “you’re damn ugly as well!” A young man was showing off his new sports car to his girlfriend. She was thrilled at the speed. “If I do 200mph, Three construction workers were sitting at the top of a will you take off your clothes?” he asked. “Yes!” said his very high building they were working on. the discussion adventurous girlfriend. And as he gets up to 200, she peeled moved to how manly each was. Roy stood up dropped his off all her clothes. Unable to keep his eyes on the road, the pants, and his penis fell 3 stories! “Let’s see you beat that car skidded onto some gravel and flipped over. The naked boys!” yelled Roy. At that, Jim dropped his pants, and his girl was thrown clear, but he was jammed beneath the penis fell down four stories! “Take that Roy!” Said Jim with steering wheel. “Go and get help!” he cried. “But I can’t. a laugh. Then both Jim and Roy looked down the way at I’m naked and my clothes are gone!” “Take my shoe”, he bob who was moving his hips and making all sorts of weird said, “and cover yourself.” Holding the shoe over herself, moves. “What in the hell are you doing bob?” asked Roy. the girl ran down the road and found a service station. Bob replied, “dodging traffic boys, dodging traffic!” Still holding the shoe between her legs, she pleaded to the service station guy, “Please help me! My boyfriend’s stuck!” A teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to The service station guy looked at the shoe and said, “There’s her class. She came to the part of the story where first pig nothing I can do…he’s in too far.” was trying to gather the building materials for his home. She read. ‘And so the pig went up to the man with the A young guy meets an older woman at a bar last night. She wheelbarrow full of straw and said: ‘Pardon me sir, but may looked pretty good for a 60-year-old. In fact, she wasn’t I have some of that straw to build my house?’ The teacher too bad at all, and he found himself thinking she probably paused then asked the class: ‘And what do you think the had a really hot daughter. The young guy drank a couple of man said?’ One little boy raised his hand and said very beers and she asked if he’d ever had a Sportsman’s Double? matter-of-factly…‘I think the man would have said – ‘Well, ‘What’s that?’, he asked. ‘It’s a mother and daughter Fuck me!! A talking pig!! threesome,’ she said. As his mind began to embrace the idea, and he wondered what her daughter might look like, A man says to his wife, “I want some kinky sex, how about he said, ‘No, I haven’t.’ They drank a bit more, then she said I put it in your ear?” The wife hastily replies, “No, I might with a wink, ‘tonight’s your lucky night.’ They went back go deaf!” To which the man replies, “I’ve been putting it to her place, they walked in. She put on the hall light and in your mouth for the last 20 years and you’re still talking shouted upstairs: ‘Mom…you still awake?’ aren’t you?” A family is on vacation and they stop at a hotel for the night. A teacher was working with a group of children, trying to The dad goes in to the front office to check in, and tells the broaden their horizons through sensory perception. She check in guy, “I’m here with my family, so I hope the porn brought in a variety of lifesavers and said, “Children, I’d is disabled.” The check in guy replies, “No, it’s regular porn! like you to close your eyes and taste these.” The kids easily You sick bastard!” Thunder Roads Magazine of Iowa on Facebook
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NOT LIKE THE ELECTRIC SLIDE
really start to blossom until 85-86, I still remember paying north of a $150 for my CD player, from Radio Shack and I was the coolest kid around, even if I only had 5-10 CD’s to actually play on it. Same issue with DVDs remember those? The came out spring of 98 and the infomercials aired all the time around November of that year, I had to have one, $585 and a week later, a JVC box was delivered. Yes I was drunk when I bought it and it sat next to my front door for a week because I was sending that bitch back for sure, then a cold Saturday night, drinking, I had to check it out. And I was hooked.
New stuff is pretty cool a lot of the time. Okay, I might be getting a little long in the tooth to still be on the cutting edge of “what’s new”, but I still love seeing new I have always dug innovation; I have been a believer that Elon Musk is either the greatest human ever born, innovations, new ideas, and new concepts. It might be or an alien shape embedded into me shifter here to eventualin a way. My grandpa, ly take over the planet. the cool dude that was Tesla cars are amazing. responsible for the I love electric cars, the third bike (1968 Honda torque is amazing and Trail 90) as bad ass of a once we can figure out bike (for a 10 year old) batteries and charging as there ever was. My systems…game on. I grandpa used to say have an electric golf all the time that people cart, not your normal that talk about the cart, it’s “supped” up a “good old days” don’t bit and I have hooked remember how shitty it on to large ATV’s and really was. drug them round like rag dolls. He was born in 1910, passed away in 2006 Electric Motors=kick and was always fasciass nated by new things. It’s too bad he was The latest kick ass thing too old in life to learn that just hit the market about computers and is the Harley Davidwhat they brought to son Live Wire, the first our lives, he was a electric bike to hit the voracious reader and market and it’s going learner of many things. to be the innovation He would have loved to leader. I love many be ass deep in the net. brands, but they won’t Never afraid of seeing be able to catch up with what was new. Now, the Live Wire, this is setjust because he was ting the standard. Hell, that way, he still had not many bikes will be a spot for what were able to catch this bike, considered the timeless it’s so FREAKING FAST! classics. He appreciWOW! ated where we came from. Be it farm equipment (he had an amazing collecI was invited to one of the few Harley dealers in the tion of antique Farmall Tractors over the years), a love Midwest, Defiance Harley-Davidson in Omaha, to take of which he passed along to a few of his sons, and to me, one of his several grandsons. Cars, guns, he really one for a spin and it was something I jumped on, quite literally. loved old guns, and many other timeless classics. If it was something that had proven the test of time, or was cutting edge when it came out, he was seemingly a fan. Lots of the Motor Company fans are scoffing about HarI guess you could call it a general appreciation of cool ley going electric and seem deeply offended by the very notion of the concept. They have told me, “It’s not things. the Harley look” “It doesn’t have a Harley Sound” Well, I never considered myself to be on the cutting edge of that is very true, and it has zero sound. I mean stone ass quiet. The only noise is the tires tacking to the road, anything. I am not a trend setter, not some cool inner and the belt running the rear tire. city hipster with an eye on fashion, trends or the next cool thing…not by a long shot, but I do love learning Harley has always been the innovator, the clutch, the new things and I am fascinated with shit that is cool. I multi gear transmission, the kick start, all H-D. They was a very early user of Compact Discs, remember those? They hit the market around 1982-1983 but didn’t didn’t invent the V Twin, but they made the V Twin the
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classic perfection that it has been for the last 110 years. Better air cooling, longer lasting motor oil, the list goes on and on, it only made sense that they would take the lead and over the last five years in perfecting the electric bike. Yea, five years, they worked and worked until they could release the perfect incarnation of the next generation of bikes. Have I mentioned the torque? I got a quick update about how this bike is a bit different, It comes with a few different setting modes, Rain, Highway, and Sport. It’s good to start with Rain Mode in order to get a feel of how this bike responds. Even in the rain setting, it will flat out scoot. I felt at ease aboard the Live Wire almost immediately, so smooth and sleek. Yes it was weird not shifting; heck it doesn’t have a shifter of course at all. Even at 45 MPH cracking the throttle in “rain” mode made the bike feel like it was on a rocket sled, and I could have pulled the front end off the ground! But that was just the warm up. Curiosity took over and while riding I kicked it over, well, switched it over from “rain” to “highway” and felt it be even more responsive and wow, the fun was beginning! A few miles getting the feel of this now even more hopped up rocket, that was it, I had to kick this bad mother trucker into sport and really feel what they had created with this bike! Beforehand I was reading how it was set up to go 0-60 in 2.6 seconds. Are you flipping kidding me!?! That’s screaming ass fast! But could it really be that fast? The answer is Yup, and then some! I was rolling along about 45, cracked the throttle and the damn back tire cracked loose! Yes, the only noise it made was the time it barked on the road. It just made me tingle in all the right places. But what could I pull off without getting caught? 45-101 miles per hour, in damn near a block and a half…..no shit. I have ridden just about every brand of bike out there, some very stupid loaded up crotch rockets that had more horsepower than I can recall; those bikes would get SMOKED by the Live Wire. It wouldn’t even be close. The Live Wire by Harley-Davidson is a category creator. It will lead the way. Will it be mass appeal? I don’t know, likely not for a while, but if you love the cool new toys you will dig this bike. Go find a dealership that has them, swing a leg over it and hang the hell on. No, that doesn’t make me a tree hugging hippy, but I still got to be happy that Elon Musk is on our side and not some Dr. Evil with plans to take over our planet. Todd “Crash” Davis
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Sometimes, Ya Just Gotta Go! Last month I was telling you all about Ron’s once in a lifetime motorcycle that he secured a deal on down in Texas. He got the deal done, so all we had to do was haul down the WLA and pickup the JDH and head for home. We were planning on leaving on Wednesday May 13th at 7 am from my place when Ron came by to pick me up. The plans were made, the trip was planned, it was nothing but windshield time now to make a dream come true for a lifelong motorcycle dude.
number 2
were smooth, and the conversation was interesting and fun. I know that I sure as hell learned a ton more about vintage motorcycles and I would guess that Ron learned a bit about the magazine publishing world and the workings of a gun shop. We ran into a bit of intermittent rain through the Kansas area, but nothing much to speak of or be alarmed about. A After a few hours of travel, Ron was in nneed of a windshield break, so I took oover the reins and continued south on th the rest of the journey for that day. We cchecked the straps on the WLA in the bback, tightened the tarp straps, and kkept hammering on down the highway. The miles across Kansas, the Kansas T Turnpike, and Oklahoma proved to T be uneventful, which was a w vvery good thing. The rain earlier T hhad given way to a gorgeous dday, and as we ccontinued going ffarther south, warmed right up w aas well.
Ron showed up that morning and was even early. I can only imagine that he was entirely too excited to go get his new project so that he could get it home and get started on it. Maybe though he was just excited for endless hours of awesome company and interesting conversation with a fellow riding type of cat? If I had to guess, it was excitement for the motorcycle more than anything. I threw my bag in the back of the truck where the WLA was strapped down and tarped, hopped in, and we got on our way. Now remember this was just short of two months since the ‘Rona, and at that time, there were many places that had travel restrictions, mask restrictions, common sense restrictions, and all sorts of stuff going on. It was a little disheartening to take off on a trek across the country in times of such uncertainty. This was a once in a lifetime deal, but certainly did not want to cause anyone any undue stress, harm, or death or anything bad like that, so we went prepared with hand sanitizer and the like. Ron and I confirmed that we were both healthy at the time of departure, so called it good to go. I just figured that if we washed our damn hands like we were supposed to, that all would be good.
As we were in southern Oklahoma area, it started to get downright muggy outside, but we had the luxury of air conditioning and many miles of great conversation. I learned that Ron’s affinity for motorcycles was sparked by his father and then many friends later on in life. He had previously shown me a photo of his father on a JD HarleyDavidson, and Ron was now going to pick up a hot rod version of what his dad had owned back in the day. Ron was raised in the same area that I was and it was interesting to hear stories of people that I knew or knew of growing up, and the interesting types of things that Ron and his cohorts got into as young men.
We headed south and Ron and I chatted about a plethora of old motorcycle types of things. The miles just seemed to rack up effortlessly as the weather was good, the roads
If nothing else, this trip made me realize the importance of sharing time with those that have lived other lives than what we have always known. Never pass up a chance to
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listen to stories from an old graybeard biker, and cherish the time that you can get with them. Glean every little bit of information you can from them because more than likely, when they are gone, their lifetimes of knowledge and stories will be gone with them. Don’t be afraid to take the time to enjoy the company of those around you while you can. I knew that Ron was a Veteran of the Air Force, but never really talked anything about his service. Part of the days journey brought discussions about him being in charge of keeping a transport aircraft flying during the Vietnam War. He told some stories about his time in service to our great nation, but Ron is a private and shy type of cat that felt that his efforts during wartime are nothing that are worthy of recognition. With that, we would like to thank Ron for his service to our country. This discussion about his Military background brought on more discussions about his mechanical aptitude and it was no surprise that he ended up working on planes in the service. After the service he came home and ended up with an old Indian. He worked at Jacobs Corporation and played with old motorcycles and just kept building and tinkering along the way. After dozens and dozens of motorcycles over the years, finally finding an opportunity to get a motorcycle he has always sought was an amazing find for him. As the miles melted away with the conversation, I could sure tell Ron was excited as hell to see his new project.
We set up a time for our return the next morning, when Ron and Jon would do an inventory of the purchase items and get the truck loaded and then we could check out JJon’s wares and his collection. We headed out a short ddistance to go to the motel and check in, then found ssome vittles and a beer or two, and then off to get a ggood night’s sleep. That was the plan anyway, too bad it didn’t work. We had to be at Sagebrush first thing in the morning, and I was fearful of oversleeping, so ddidn’t sleep well at all. I tossed and turned all night aand finally the alarm went off signaling it was time to hhead over to Jon’s place. W We grabbed a quick bite to eat to start our day, and then headed over to ssee Jon and Matt. We w were both very anxious to get there and excited to be able to get the ddeal done and look aaround at Jon’s place a bit. We were going to stay and hang out aall day Thursday, maybe go ride some m oof Jon’s old iron, tell eeach other a bunch of stories and lies, and just relax a bit, but there li were some nasty storms brewing w that we wanted to try to get a jump th oon, so decided to just take care of bbusiness and head out.
When we got to Jon’s place and W it was already pushing 90 degrees with about matching humidity. w Must have been “nice” for Texas M in the middle of May, but not for We Google mapped me, I wasn’t much of a fan at all. m out the location of JJon and Ron started going through Sagebrush Cycle and the list of parts and pieces that was th made our way through ppresent, and marking the stuff that the outlying area of Fort w was needed yet. Matt and I were Worth to Jon’s place. iin the “strong back, weak mind” Ron called to make sure cclub and were assigned the tasks of grabbing and loading someone would still sstuff as it was inspected and checked off of the list. A frame be around so that we hhere, front fork there, front wheel here, rear axle there, and could at least unload the tthe list went on and on. Not that a 1928 JDH motorcycle WLA before we would iin parts is a small list, but I suppose it is much smaller than head to the motel for a modern twin cam parts list of things to check off. With the evening. We pulled tthe truck all loaded up, items secured, strapped in the back, in the driveway about aand even behind the front seats full of antique motorcycle 5:45 PM after a long day ggoodies, we finally got a chance to dig through some of of travel, and we were JJon’s weary but excited as hell w wares to see what was shakin’ aand the in Texas! We greeted ccobwebs Jon and met Matt and got to work unloading the WLA. Un- of his tarped, unstrapped, and backed out of the back of the truck, brain. and I think Jon and Matt were just as excited to see and hear the WLA as Ron was to get a hold of his JDH. They Jon has drooled over the WLA for a while and then decided that it been should be kicked to life so they got her fired up and enjoyed known the 45-inch flattie purring in the shop there for a bit. for a number Thunder Roads Magazine of Iowa on Facebook
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of years to be a HarleyDavidson JD and VL model guru. He has connections all over the world for pieces and parts for these things to get them or keep them running. He has done the cross-country trips on his very own twin cam JDH motorcycle, and has many a build under his belt for the very same race. His passion for the vintage motorcycles is contagious, with Matt having the bug as well and moving across the country to be able to work alongside and learn from Jon at Sagebrush Cycle about all things vintage two wheeled.
is i for sure!
Jon has always been into older stuff, but has a previous life twice removed from old iron. He was one of those cats that decided school did not really apply to him at about 15 years old and decided that being an electrician was a lot more fun. Jon is of the age that dropping out of school was not a mandatory sentence to the lower levels of society, but for those that were go-getters, a way to succeed. He worked to become a Master Electrician and then moved into electrical controls. He started a company and formed a team of people that invented conveyors for moving baggage for the airline industry. He succeeded with that to the point that in 2010 he sold that company and jumped full bore into his passion of vintage iron and started Sagebrush Cycle. We started off the tour in the smaller of the two shops, with some vintage tooling and a variety of engine builds in various stages of completion. These old critters are not simply something that can just be built or rebuilt with parts ordered from the local dealer, or any dealer for that matter. A vast majority of these parts are sourced from specialty suppliers around the world. They are not cheap or easy to come by, and some parts for the rarer models such as the JDH are almost impossible to find. Antiques are not cheap by any means, and usable vintage motorcycle parts are no exception to that fact.
hhistory in that one room is amazing aand I think we could have stayed there all-day hearing stories of the th bbikes, the rides, and the riders. We moved on to the plethora of parts that m JJon has amassed over the years. The sshelves are full, the racks are packed, aand there is stuff laying around all oover. Not in a disorganized way, bbecause I would guess that between JJon or Matt, if you asked for a sspecific part for a specific year of a specific motorcycle, they would know exactly where it was located k in the building, what shape it was in, and a what the value of said part is. These cats know their cabbage, that T
With W the tour out of the way, we paused for a couple of o photos, and then got some awesome information and a direction on making the pile of parts come together into a complete running motorcycle t sometime in the future. Ron has one hell of a s project, but will have one hell of a machine when he p gets g it all put together. This is exactly what he loves to t do, and has been doing for decades, and now he finally got his “Holy Grail” of machines to work on and complete. After the educational session, we decided A it was about time to hit the road and head north. The storms were building to the n west w and if they tracked right, and we didn’t dink around, we may get home unscathed. d As A we were rolling north, we realized that it was not a possibility for missing the storms, as they seemed to be changing s direction, strengthening, and chasing us d down. Sprinkles turned into full blown d rain, followed by torrential rain and some r interesting winds. The rain that began to hit in us u in Oklahoma followed us clear through that th state and most of the way through Kansas. As I was hammering down the K highway, Ron kept an eye on the radar and h maybe said about 92 times how he was m amazed that it just kept following us. I just a figured that it was a way to wash the old parts before Ron got home with them!
Finally driving out of the multi-state rain, we were able to get moving at a bit of a quicker pace, and ended up back in K Town at 9 PM on Thursday evening. I ended up driving all but about three hours of the total trip, and was happy to be able to help Ron out and do that to get his new prized possession. We made good time coming home and overall, the trip was about 38 hours of fun and learning. Not a bad time for a trip to Texas and back to swap out some old motorcycles. I could think of one hell of a lot of worse things to do with my time for a couple of days! Thanks to Ron for the invite, and to Jon and Matt for their Texas Then we went into the big building where there are some of hospitality! Jon and Matt’s personal motorcycles as well as customers’ bikes that have been or are being worked on. The amount of Vernon Schwarte 38 - TRMI OCTOBER 2020
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Before heading out for any of the scheduled events on our dinner ride/bike night list and our events listing, please call ahead to make sure they are still happening. With all of the closures happening as of late, many events have been forced to reschedule or even cancel all together. But with or without events to attend, tearing up some pavement has always been a bikers preferred form of social distancing. Ride safe and ride often!
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