Thunder Roads Magazine of Iowa February 2024

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On the Cover & Calendar

On The Co Cover/Calendar ar Page: I feel the best way to describe this month’s calendar shot and cover are to quote a text I sent to Vernon about the photos… “The building in the background is an old general store called Smitty’s that everyone who grew up in Clinton for the last 100 years was familiar with. Steve, I believe the youngest of the family, struggled to keep it open for many years, until finally after the Derecho storm warped the wall in the background, and the city forced him to close the doors until he fixed it or they’d condemn it. Well he had no money to fix it, and shortly after this shoot they fenced off this corner, and earlier this year (2023) finally tore it down. This day we shot Vanessa on my bobber, and on a friend’s Indian for the calendar. Only shoots I ever did on this side of the building because that corner is one of the busiest intersections in town, on Highway 30 and 67, just before going across the bridge into Illinois. Was shot very early on a Sunday morning, and had to deal with some rain, which actually made the sidewalk look cool as fuck with backlight from the sun. Anyway, always thought something with this wall would make for a cool magazine cover.” Additionally… Smitty’s was the only place in Clinton that biker magazines like Easyriders and BIKER (which featured partial nudity) were sold, and basically that store is what introduced me to the world of biker magazines, and ultimately the biker world. Once condemned, I stated repeatedly that if I won the lottery the first thing I’d do is donate the funds to repair that building, which unfortunately never happened. Anyone that grew up in Clinton was heartbroken the day Smitty’s was tore down. I was working out of town that day, but knew the date was set and saw it all over social media. Still bothers me terribly that this building is gone. Steve was one of my biggest supporters once my photography work started showing up on the cover of the magazines he sold! Aside from that, the 1967 Triumph is one of my bikes, and has a rare one-year only 1938 Harley springer on it. Vanessa is the beauty posing on it, and also the cover girl for Natanic’s Pin-ups calendar this year, which are Buy 1 Get 1 Free at Natanic.com Nate Ullrich 2 - TRMI FEBRUARY 2024

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February is an 2024 list as complete interesting month to as possible. You try to come up with a can look on the back winter time colder than cover now and see hell not much riding we have been greatly time of year Letter expanding this page from the Editor. Not like normal this time a lot going just after of year, but we need the first of the year and your help. If you are many of the events hosting any events, are slated, but have or know of any that not been happening are confirmed for yet. My lovely wife date and location Melanie, who gains and such, email them another “ring” on her to me at vernon@ trunk on the 22nd of thunderroadsiowa. this month, mentioned com and I will that I should talk get them onto the about how happy I Thunder Roads am to have all of my Magazine of Iowa girlfriends all in one place. Events List. I post the updated E That is right, I have girlfriends, llist the first of the week on li and my wife fully approves of Facebook, so you can always F this. I have lost count of how ggrab the most updated list there many girlfriends I officially iiff you don’t have a print copy have, but each one has her oof the magazine handy. This own unique personality and llist li i ends up being shared far character traits that I have aand wide, so don’t be afraid to grown to love. I am also a very ddo the same. Share it right to lucky man to have all of my yyour own Facebook or other girlfriends all in one place now, ssocial media page. We all must as well as all of them getting work together to let the bikers w along. We never see any cat oof Iowa know what is going fights, arguments, or any of oon, and when. Ya can’t go if ya them being territorial or jealous ddon’t know. of the others. Some are similar to all of the others, and some I have one last note before are completely different than all pparting ways for the month the others. Some need a little that th h I am asking of all of our cosmetic surgery. Some need rreaders and sponsors. I am a complete make over. Some bbegging each and every one of have had rough lives and are yyou to keep tabs on the political in pieces. Some are ready to cclimate both nationally and in go out on a date at the drop of in n our great state. There are a hat. It doesn’t matter the age of condition d i off these di h lladies, di iissues that h can ddeeply l iimpact motorcyclist being discussed they all love me, and I love them. They get along with my by lawmakers at all levels. Please keep tabs on these wife, and my wife gets along with them, and that is the key things and sign up for alerts and calls to action via your to having a happy household. I love it during riding season state Motorcycle Rights Organizations such as ABATE and I am not around and someone asks Melanie where I am. of Iowa, with larger scale entities such as the Motorcycle She said the look on their faces when she tells them I am out Riders Foundation and National Council of Independent with one of my girlfriends is priceless. Not everyone is able Riders. Please highly consider joining and supporting these to have a loving wife, and multiple girlfriends all under one entities with memberships and becoming active with them. roof living the best life. I guess I cannot complain about Together we can make a difference. any of it! Until we can ride again, I am incredibly happy to report though that after a dismal event list in January that February starts to have some stuff Vernon Schwarte actually going on. Some things happening for bikers to Proud Editor/Owner Thunder Roads Magazine of Iowa gather and catch up and do biker stuff together. Chili cook Owner Thunder Guns and Thunder Guns West offs at some dealerships like HD of Carroll and Metro, IMDA Board Member Lobby Day at the Capital, Baxter Cycle’s Winter Open MRF Iowa Assistant State Rep House, and the SAFR Gala are all shaking out in the month COC Liaison of February. There are also some bike shows and swap NCOIR State of Iowa Representative meets firing up that you can look into as well. We are trying vernon@thunderroadsiowa.com like hell to get a hold of folks that host events to get the 4 - TRMI FEBRUARY 2024

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Have you ever started some new venture that sounded great going into it but when the rubber started to meet the road, it wasn’t so fun? (No, I’m not talking about New Year’s resolutions, although if the shoe fits . . . ) I remember that type of come-down when I started to ride a street bike. I had spent some time roaring around our little farm on dirt bikes with our kids when they were teenagers so I figured that making the switch to a street bike would be pretty easy. Wrong. The balancing and the shifting were no problem, but the stopping was a whole ‘nother story. I was riding a Suzuki 650 that Mark’s brother-in-law had given us and I could touch one tiptoe down on the left or the other tiptoe down on the right, but could not touch both at the same time. It seemed like every time I stopped to turn around at the end of the alley my tiptoe wasn’t enough and I went down. After a couple evenings of that, I was feeling pretty dejected about the whole thing. My elbows were taking a beating and I felt stupid for thinking I could tackle riding a bigger bike. I was embarrassing myself in front of the neighbors (well, behind the neighbors, since I was in the alley) and I was almost ready to quit. inertia. You know the saying “Work smarter, not harder”? Mark realized pretty quickly that the Suzuki was just too tall Even after for me. He switched me to our new bike, which sat much accepting God’s lower to the ground. Problem solved! With that lower center gift of salvation, we of gravity, I quickly regained my confidence and my desire will still experience to ride. failures in life. We will still have In life, it doesn’t matter what the new venture is – a new personal flaws that relationship, a new job, a new exercise program, or even a new bike – it will bring new challenges. On top of that, the we’ll deal with until we die. I think that’s new becomes old pretty quickly and our real self bubbles where the “fear back up to the top. Going out with friends is easier than and trembling” part working on the marriage; delegating the part of the job comes in. I don’t we feel is beneath us is easier than doing the grunt work ourselves; watching TV is easier than going to the gym; and know anyone who we’d rather ride our bikes than change the oil filter. In other enjoys thinking about the possibility of failure or embarrassment, but we words, “easier” usually wins out. have to push past that fear and keep going. The solution for this situation is to use the spiritual version of “Work Maybe that’s why when we see someone who is a huge success, our unacknowledged, kneejerk assumption is smarter, not harder” - instead of being sidetracked by fear or that there’s just something special about that person. But if worry, we should pause and worship God. Remembering his love for us and his goodness to us helps bring us back into I stop to think about it, my adult brain knows that whether balance and gives us the courage to try again. it’s success in sports, business, health, or marriage, that success didn’t just happen: it took a lot of work and sacrifice This new year will without a doubt bring new to get there. If you ever spend time researching how your opportunities and new challenges, but you don’t have to hero made it to where they are, you’ll find out that the face them alone. The Lord will go with you, if you just ask. “secret” to literally everyone’s success is that they just kept moving toward their goal. Blessings – Karla Similarly, the Bible encourages each of us to Mark and Karla Cornick are with the Christian keep moving toward a spiritual goal. Paul tells us in Motorcyclists Association. Find out more about CMA and Philippians 2:12 to “Work out your own salvation with God’s plan for you at www.cmausa.org fear and trembling; for God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him.” In other words, through the gift of salvation in Christ Jesus, we have the beginning of a new relationship with God. It’s our responsibility now to put effort into learning who God is and what pleases him so our relationship can grow. And from God’s end of the partnership, he is already working in us to help us with the process. He knows we all have the “Easier is better” gene in us and will help us fight that 6 - TRMI FEBRUARY 2024

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The Biker Friendly Business Directory Indian Motorcycle of Mason City is a list of establishments throughout Mason City Powersports Iowa that sponsor the magazine. You 12499 265th Street Mason City can pick up your copy here every 641-423-3181 month. Let them know that you saw Masoncitypowersportsinc.com them in TRMI. If your business would like to advertise in Thunder Roads Metro Harley-Davidson Iowa Biker Friendly Business Listing 2415 Westdale Drive SW and become a part of the network, Cedar Rapids, Iowa 52404 please email 319-362-9496 vernon@thunderroadsiowa.com www.metro-motorsports.com

Biker Accessories

Route 65 Harley-Davidson 1300 S Jefferson Way Indianola, Iowa 50125 515.962.2160 www.route65hd.net

Crispy’s Biker Apparel Cedar Rapids, Iowa Find Us On Facebook

Mi Casa Family Restaurant 512 Market Street Harlan, Iowa 51537 712-755-2258 Enjoy Drinks at the Full Bar!

Flaming Office 201 W High Street Toledo 641-484-2255 Outdoor Patio, Happy Hour 5-7 Flaming Office on Facebook & Google

Midway Tavern 206 1st Street Soldier, Iowa 712-884-2230 www.midwaytavernsoldier.com

Haverhill Social Club 202 1st Street Haverhill, Iowa 50120 641-475-3321

Montgomery Street Pub 207 East Montgomery Street Creston, Iowa 50801 641-782-2165

Closed Mon-Tues, 4-Midnite Wed-Thur-Fri,

10-Midnight Sat, 11-Midnight Sunday Storm Lake Honda 3040 Expansion Blvd Storm Lake, Iowa 50588 StormLakeHonda.com 712-732-2460

Dirty Biker Design 122 S. John Wayne Drive Winterset, Iowa 50273 www.DirtyBikerDesign.com 515-444-9050

Entertainment

Dealers

Book Em Dano’s 33 S Main Street Denison, Iowa 51442 712-263-9818 Mon-Sat 4-2 Dancers Nightly 5-1:30

Baxter Cycle 311 4th Street Marne, Iowa 51552 712-781-2351 www.baxtercycle.com

Okoboji Classic Cars Museum and Restoration Shop 810 Jeppeson Road West Okoboji, Iowa 51351 712-332-8029

Big Barn Harley-Davidson 81 NW 49th Place Des Moines, Iowa 50313 515-265-4444 www.bigbarnhd.net Edwards Motorsports and RV’s 1010 34th Avenue Council Bluffs, Iowa 51501 712-366-8400

Iowa Legendary Rye 707 N Main Street Carroll, Iowa 51401 Iowalegendaryrye.com Jake’s Station 107 West HWY 59 Hancock, Iowa 51536 712-741-BEER Like Our Page Jakes Station on Facebook J.R. Willie’s Gateway to the Beautiful Hill Country Colesburg, IA 563-856-5095 Open Tuesday - Sunday 11AM Home of the Willie Whopper

(Popular Poker & Fun Run Locations)

Just 1 More 515-570-4206 641-757-0159 309 Railway Jamaica, Iowa 50128

Bloodline Irish Pub 214 Public Square Greenfield, Iowa 50849 Bloodline Irish Pub on Facebook Catfish Charlie’s On the Mississippi River 1630 E. 16th Street Dubuque, IA 52001 (563)582-8600 www.CatfishCharliesDubuque.com

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Papa Joe’s 117 South 6th Street Missouri Valley, Iowa 51555 712-642-9015 Pearl Street Social Club 110 Pearl Street SW Shellsburg, Iowa 52332 319-436-7100 Find Us On Facebook! Riverside Tavern 450 E Main St Lehigh, Iowa 50557 515-359-9998 Email:riversidetap@gmail.com Shootout Saloon 3571 310th St Dexter 1 Mile West of Bonnie & Clyde Shootout

Johnie’s Tap 112 NE 2nd Street Stuart, Iowa 50250 515-523-1146 Find Us on Facebook

Food and Drink

fullthrottleia.com

Harley-Davidson of Carroll 1327 Plaza Dr Carroll, Iowa 712-792-1610 www.carrollcycle.com

Desperados 105 E 5th Street Atlantic 712-243-7087 Home of Cold Beer, Good Times, Pizza & Wings

McCanns Tap NE 14th & 54th Des Moines, Iowa 50313 Bike Parking M-F 2:00-2 S-S 11:00-Close

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712-249-0041 Secluded Bar in the Woods Sidetracked 206 West Union Street Creston, Iowa 50801 641-782-8534 Stumpy’s Bar & Grill 423 Main Street Duncombe, Iowa 50532 515-543-4222 Stumpy’s Bar & Grill on Facebook The Exchange 171 S Elm Street Avoca, Iowa 51521 712-343-2609 Lang’s Pizza, Cold Beer, Sports

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The Yankee Clipper 312 SW Maple St Ankeny, Ia 50023 515-964-9484 yankeeclipperbar.com VFW Post 9662 Bar and Grill 1309 NE 66th Ave Des Moines 515 - 289 - 9914 and Facebook Vic’s Main Tap 304 Broadway Audubon, Iowa 50025 712-563-2122 Opens M-F 2-Close, Sat 9-Close, Sun 2-Close Western Iowa Ice 514 East Street Shelby, Iowa 51570 402-681-6521 Ice Delivered to Your Location Wilson’s Tap and Recreation 1008 Story Street Boone, Iowa 50036/ 515-433-1395

Guns and Ammo Thunder Guns 201 4th Ave Portsmouth, Iowa 51565 712-249-5630 Find us on Facebook Thunder Guns West 1101 Chatburn Ave STE 103 Harlan, Iowa 51537 712-235-2632 Find us on Facebook

Hobbies & Collectibles

Quilting

Treasure Island Diecast/Facebook Hot Wheels, M2, Matchbox, Jada Ertl, Lightning, Harley, Maisto Buy-Sell-Trade 641-521-8036 rayaustinhd@gmail.com www.treasureislanddiecast.com

Bam-Bam Quilting 724 E Benton Winterset kerneskimmie@gmail.com 515-468-0264 Find us on Facebook

Insurance & Financial O’Malley Wealth Mgmt. 5623 NW 86th Street Suite 400 Johnston, Iowa 50131 515-490-0930 State Farm Clark Ahrenholtz, Agent 2114 12th Street Harlan, Iowa 712-755-5724 Clark.ahrenholtz.jb69@statefarm.com

Legal Hupy and Abraham sc, pc Lawyers for Bikers 800.800.5678 Hupy.com TheBikerLawyers.com The Biker Lawyers, P.C. Riding & Defending Your Rights for Over 30 Years 877-209-9452

Photo and Art Ullrich Photography PO Box 1842 Clinton, Iowa 52733 563-243-8715 www.natanic.com

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Nelson Machine & Forge General Machining, Ornamental Iron, Weld/Fab 70 Washington Street Marne, Iowa 51552 712-781-2220

Shops & Fabricators

Road Rage BikeWorks 401 High Street Avoca, Iowa 51521 712-307-6111 Road Rage BikeWorks on Facebook Thunder Road Cycles 4106 Rockingham Rd Davenport, Iowa 52802 563-323-3172 Thunder Road Cycles on Facebook

BS & Bikes 300 E 17th St S Suite 700 Newton, IA 50208 641-521-8448 Find us on Facebook Butterfield’s M.C. Parts 8025 Blondo Street Omaha, NE 68134 402-391-3768

Trailers

Chuck’s Cycle Service and Repair S&S and Drag Specialties Dealer 307 E 5th StreetWashington, Iowa52353 319-461-5278

Lacaeyse Trailer Sales 4192 HWY 146 Grinnell Trailers & Truck Accessories 641-990-2674 www.lacaeysetrailers.com

Cycle Clinic 2209 ML King Pkwy Des Moines, Iowa 50314 cycleclinicdm.com 515-288-6954 F & J Racing 701 N 3rd Ave Marshalltown, Iowa 50158 641-752-8651 www.fandjracing.com Mean Machine Cycles Elkhart, Iowa 50073 Custom & Full-Service HD Repair Mon-Fri 9-6, Sat by appt only 515-367-7336 Motorcycle Medic 3176 Highway 30 Woodbine, Iowa 51579 712-647-2818 Open Tues-Fri 9-6, Sat 8-12

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The Biker Friendly Business Directory is a list of establishments throughout Iowa that sponsor the magazine. You can pick up your copy here every month. Let them know that you saw them in TRMI. If your business would like to advertise in Thunder Roads Iowa Biker Friendly Business Listing and become a part of the network, please email vernon@thunderroadsiowa.com

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Enthusiast June 1956

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Enthusiast June 1956

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not so USELESS RAMBLINGS

TAXic Wasteland

Thankfully, there are a few people out there that have picked up on some of the wasteful spending habits of the United The very first taxes imposed upon the citizens of this nation States Government. began in the 1760’s when the British decided to reach across the pond and stick their hands in our pockets. This led to the Were you aware that the US Air American Revolution where we beat the Brits like a drum. Force parks planes on the tarmac Later on states and localities collected poll taxes on voters and will run the engines to burn and property taxes on land and commercial buildings. There off fuel? If it does not deplete were also state and federal excise taxes. The United States last year’s ration, it cannot briefly imposed an income tax during the Civil War and requisition additional fuel for again in 1890. State and Federal inheritance taxes began next year. after 1900. States began collecting sales tax in the 1930’s. Our US government has spent over $998,000 to ship TWO We’ve been taxed in some way, shape, or form almost since $0.19 washers from South Carolina to Texas, $350,000 to the very minute the settlers put boots on the ground in sponsor a NASCAR driver, $200,000 to rid Californians of this country. Throughout our beginnings, these taxes were unwanted tattoos, $500,000 to paint the image of salmon on mostly used for the good of the people and the country. The an Alaska Airlines jet? There was a $350,000 grant to study very first income tax was imposed to fund the American Smart Toilets. Civil War efforts. Sadly, money has a tendency to do strange things to mankind. Large amounts of money tend to make American taxpayers funded a $25,000 grant to the some people do really heinous things to their fellow man. I Springfield (Missouri) Art Museum to fund the Yoko guess that’s why they say money is the root of all evil. Ono Mend Piece. A description from their website reads, “Mend Piece brings to mind the metaphor of the ancient Today the average American pays about the equivalent of Japanese art of Kintsugi, a technique of repairing broken four months of their wages to fund all of the federal, state or cracked pottery using brushstrokes of gold and silver, and local taxes they are forced to pay each year. Washington a philosophy that treats the breakage and repair as part is slated to pull in more than $4.7 TRILLION in Federal of the object’s history - an important and precious detail, income tax revenue from the American taxpayer this rather than something to disguise, but also the idea that coming April 15th. I bet most of you reading this know that once broken, it is never the same. In a seemingly simple there will be millions, probably billions of those dollars white room, shattered cups and saucers are placed on a completely wasted on useless, unimportant shit that will do table. Participants are asked to mend the fragments together absolutely nothing that benefits We the People. using common household items: twine, glue, scissors, and tape. The resulting works are displayed on nearby shelves, I’m sure that we’d all be equally disgusted if I took the evidence of the power of collective action.” I don’t know time to research the wasted dollar to useful dollar ratio about you, but I’m sure happy I helped fund that one. and reported those results. I fear that I’d never be able to come up with accurate numbers because the vast majority Napa Valley is one of the wealthiest areas of the country of the wasted dollars are hidden deep within 9,000-page with hundreds of wineries, multimillion dollar homes spending bills that almost no one reads before signing them.

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dotting the countryside, with millionaires and billionaires coming and going. There are millions of dollars spent daily in the area, but US taxpayers funded a $4 million pedestrian trail to close an 8.1-mile gap in the Napa Valley Vine Trail to connect wineries together between Yountville and St. Helena.

Extinction and Eternity in the Russian Arctic: The book will demonstrate Russia’s “apocalyptic utopianism and it’s concern with the end of life on Earth as we know it and the fears of human extinction.” And let’s not forget the $660,000 study we funded to find the impact COVID-19 had on Russian women.

Well, at least the government is wasting our money on US based dumpster fires, right? But wait, there’s more! There are several examples of our tax dollars funding extremely ridiculous projects abroad, like the $20,600 grant to an Ecuadorian cultural center to fund 12 drag queen shows.

The State Department gave $500,000 to teach English in Pakistan with a focus on courses for Pakistani transgender youth.

Last year the National Science Foundation funded a $138,000 study of butterflies in Europe. We paid a Swedish scientist to study butterflies in Germany. Last year the National Education Association gave a $40,000 grant to Pepperland to set up a tribute in Brooklyn for the Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band; this is not an American band, so why was this funded? Tax dollars funded a $55,000 study of Colonial Mexican soundscapes. A researcher was paid to travel to Mexico

Nearly $1.5 million of our tax dollars are going to a research and education program to “understand, visualize and mitigate climate-change impact cascades and inequities in central Mexico.” Maybe we should be spending that money on a program to understand, visualize and mitigate illegal immigration impact cascades and inequities at the southern border. Returning to American soil, the Department of Justice recently implemented a “transgender curriculum” in federal prisons. John Q. Public is now on the hook for around $1.5 million to teach federal inmates who identify as transgender the “techniques to seek support for mental health concerns and skills to advocate for physical, emotional, and sexual health and safety.” The above examples are just a small portion of the wasteful and stupid spending that our federal government is responsible for; there are many more examples. The failing education system in this country continues to pump out more and more mindless drones, the infrastructure is crumbling, the dollar is shrinking, and the economy is in the tank, but at least Pakistani transgender teens will be able to speak English while admiring the beautiful salmon painted on the Alaskan jet.

who then wrote a book on how the sounds of Colonial Mexico could then be used to “influence communities.” What does that even mean? There was a $268,000 study funded in Ghana on the effectiveness of helmets and seatbelts on saving lives. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I do believe that the US government has already spent millions of our tax dollars on this study. Their conclusions led them to write and pass laws in this country requiring the use of seat belts in all vehicles and they were successful in getting many states to pass some form of helmet use guidelines. Why was there a need to study helmet and seatbelt effectiveness in Ghana if studies have already determined they are useful? There has also been an additional $240,000 in grants over the past two years to study rural roads and the impact of climate change on road safety in Ghana. The National Endowment for the Humanities awarded a $60,000 grant to write the book Pleistocene Park: Thunder Roads Magazine of Iowa on Facebook

Today, as I write this, the total national debt is a touch over $34 trillion; that breaks down to about $101,250 per man, woman, and child. The annualized cost of servicing this debt was $726 billion in July 2023, which accounted for 14% of the total federal spending. The Congressional Budget Office estimates that interest payments on our national debt will exceed $10.5 trillion over the next ten years. These payments will go to countries that have purchased our debt; for instance, China. To quote our forefathers…” Taxation without representation is tyranny.” Welcome to the TAXic Wasteland of these divided states. *Numerical data as reported by the office of Senator James Lankford, “Federal Fumbles,” www.lankford.senate.gov David McCoy - david@thunderroadsiowa.com - facebook.com/TRMIDave - facebook.com/TRMINSUR

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despite the amazing smell of barbeque that now filled the café.

Sunshine Café 1327 12th Street Eldora, Iowa (641) 939-3848 Monday: CLOSED Tuesday – Thursday: 7:00 AM - 3:00 PM Friday – Saturday: 7:00 AM - 8:00 PM Sunday: 7:00 AM - 3:00 PM

Josh ordered a diner classic, the hot beef sandwich. The large portion of tender roast beef came piled high on a white bread base next to creamy mashed potatoes, and the whole plate was covered in brown gravy. There was also an order of cheese curds, crispy golden breading on stringy white curds…fried deliciousness at its finest. Eric got a chicken tenders meal that came with a side of cooked carrots and he also ordered French fries as his side dish. The tenders were battered in a delicious airy breading, and fried to perfection, just like the fries. Vernon ordered a chicken fried steak breakfast. This breakfast came with a huge portion of golden hash browns, two eggs cooked to your liking (Vernon chose them over medium)two pieces of toast, and the chicken fried steak was so big, it needed its own plate. It was a thick, hand breaded steak, perfectly seasoned and fried, topped with steaming hot sausage gravy. I also chose to order from the breakfast section of the menu, but I ordered a Sunshine skillet. The skillet was near overflowing when it arrived. There was a base of crisp hash browns, topped with fresh veggies including onions, peppers, and mushrooms. On top of the veggies was my own portion of chicken fried steak covered in sausage gravy, and two fluffy scrambled eggs perched right on top. I also had a side of toast, but who am I kidding, did I even need the toast?

Vernon and I had traveled to Eldora one particular Saturday All of the meals brought to our table were delicious and for a meeting at the Sunshine Café. We walked in and fresh. We ordered a total of four meals, but we could have got drinks to enjoy while the meeting got rolling. This easily ordered two and still left the table full. Remember particular meeting was very important, and took a couple that motto I told you about? It is more than true. Bring hours of discussion before it came to a close. And let me tell your appetites to the Sunshine Café and tell them Thunder you, as the dinner hour kicked into full swing, focusing on Roads Magazine of Iowa sent you! the discussion, and not the heaping plates of hot, delicious looking food Melanie J Schwarte being carried to various If you have a WRTE location for us to visit, please let tables me know at Melanie@thunderroadsiowa.com became increasingly difficult. There is a motto, proudly displayed at the Sunshine Café that we were soon to discover was 100% the TRUTH… “If you leave here hungry, it’s your own fault.” We all looked the menu over for a while before making our decisions. The waitress also let us know that the special during our visit was barbequed pork ribs. We had seen them be carried to a nearby table, but each of us decided on other meals, Thunder Roads Magazine of Iowa on Facebook www.thunderroadsiowa.com 22 - TRMI FEBRUARY 2024


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What can strike a blonde without her even knowing it? A thought.

If you drop your phone in n water, put it in a bowl of rice. Overnight an Asian will A young man wanted to purchase a gift for his new come to your house, fix the sweetie for Valentine’s Day. As they had not been dating phone, eat the rice and then very long, it was a very difficult decision. After careful run away. consideration, he decided a good gift would be a pair of gloves. Accompanied by his sister, he went to the store Roger, who was 19 years old, wass and bought the gloves. His sister purchased a pair of buying an expensive bracelet, t, panties at the same time. The clerk carefully wrapped to surprise his girlfriend on n both items but, in the process, got them mixed up. The Valentine’s Day, at a very smart rt sister was handed the gloves and the young man got the jeweler’s shop in Hatton Garden, den, de n n, panties. The young man mailed his Valentine’s Day gift London. The jeweler inquired, uire ui red, re d d, with the following note: “This special Valentines Day gift “Would you like your girlfriend’ss name name was chosen because I noticed you are in the habit of not engraved on it?” Roger thought ht fo forr a wearing any when we go out in the evenings. If it had not moment, grinned, then answered, d, been for my sister, I would have chosen the ones with “No, instead engrave ‘To my buttons, but she prefers short ones that are much easier to one and only love’.” The jeweler remove. These are a lovely shade, the lady I bought them smiled and said, “Yes, sir; how from showed me the pair she had been wearing for the very romantic of you.” Rogerr past three weeks and they were hardly soiled. I had her retorted with a glint in his eye, “N “Not ot try yours on for me and they looked quite lovely.” I wish I exactly romantic, but very practical. ctic ct ical ic al.. al was there to put them on you for the first time; no doubt, This way, if we break up, I can use use it other hands will come into contact with them before I again.” have a chance to see you again.” When you take them off, remember to blow on them lightly before putting them What do you call a fat Chinese prostitute? away as they will naturally be a little damp from wearing. Chun Ki Ho. Just think how many times I’ll be kissing them in the future. I hope you’ll wear them Friday night for me.” A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middleLove, Cuddle Bear aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically PS: The sales lady says the latest style is to wear them placing “Love” stamps on bright pink envelopes with folded down with just a little fur showing. hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them. His curiosity A professor travels to Africa to live with a primitive tribe getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding and spends years with them, teaching them all about the man and asks him what he is doing. The man says “I’m wonders of science and mathematics. He makes friends sending out 1,000 Valentine cards signed, ‘Guess who?’” with the tribe’s chief and his wife and they all live happily “But why?” asks the man. “I’m a divorce lawyer,” the man for some time. One day the chief ’s wife gives birth to replies. a white child. The word spreads and the entire tribe is in shock. The chief pulls the professor aside and says, Valentines Day is the day that the “V” and “D” come “Look, you are the only white man we’ve ever seen around together. here, and my wife gave birth to a white child. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out what happened!” The professor A man went to the doctor’s office to get a double dose of replied, “No, chief, you’re mistaken. What we have here Viagra. The doctor told him that he couldn’t allow him is a natural occurrence what we in the civilized world call a double dose. “Why not?” asked the man. “Because it’s an albino! Look at that field over there. All the sheep not safe,” replied the doctor. “But I need it really bad,” are white except for one black one. Nature does this on said the man. “Well, why do you need it so badly?” asked occasion.” The chief was silent for a moment, then said, the doctor. The man said, “My girlfriend is coming into “Tell you what. You don’t say anything more about that town on Friday; my ex-wife will be here on Saturday; sheep and I won’t say anything more about the white kid.” and my wife is coming home on Sunday. Can’t you see? I must have a double dose.” The doctor finally relented My girlfriend’s dad asked me what I do. saying, “Okay, I’ll give it to you, but you have to come Apparently, “your daughter” wasn’t the right answer. in on Monday morning so that I can check you to see if there are any side effects.” On Monday, the man dragged Jim asked his friend, Tony, whether he had bought his himself in; his arm in a sling. The doctor asked, “What wife anything for Valentine’s Day. “Yes,” came the answer happened to you?” The man said, “No one showed up.” from Tony who was a bit of a chauvinist, “I’ve bought her a belt and a bag.” “That was very kind of you,” Jim added, Little Melissa comes home from first grade and tells her ‘I hope she appreciated the thought.” Tony smiled as he father that they learned about the history of Valentine’s replied, “So do I, and hopefully the vacuum cleaner will Day. “Since Valentine’s Day is a Christian saint and we’re work better now.” Jewish,” she asks, “will God get mad at me for giving someone a valentine?” Melissa’s father thinks a bit, then What do a slice of burnt toast and a pregnant girlfriend says, “No, I don’t think God would get mad. Who do got in common? In both cases you wish you took it out a you want to give a valentine to?” “Osama Bin Laden,” few seconds earlier. she says. “Why Osama Bin Laden?” her father asks in 24 - TRMI FEBRUARY 2024

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shock. “Well,” she says, “I thought that if I told my crush at school, “If you love me, come wearing a little American Jewish girl could have red tomorrow.” The next day she came in wearing black! enough love to give Osama a valentine, When she dropped her pen and she bent over to pick it he might start to think that maybe up, I got a look up her skirt at her red thong. Moral of the we’re not all bad, and maybe start story: she really loves me underneath it all. loving people a little bit. And if other kids saw what I did and sent valentines A man is riding aimlessly through the desert on a donkey. to Osama, he’d love everyone a lot. And He is not hungry or thirsty, because he has a bottomless then he’d start going all over the place bowl of fruit. He wanders for about a week and to tell everyone how much he loved them eventually gets pretty horny. He gets to the point where and how he didn’t hate anyone anymore.” he can’t stand it anymore. So, he decides to try and have Her father’s heart swells and he looks at his daughter sex with the donkey. He drops his pants and positions with pride. “Melissa, that’s the most wonderful himself under the donkey. But, to his dismay, the donkey thing I’ve ever heard.” “I know,” Melissa says, walks away. Only slightly discouraged, the man decides “and once that gets him out in the open, the to try again. He walks to where the donkey is standing, Marines could blow the crap out of him.” positions himself under the donkey, and right before he goes for it, the donkey walks away again. Now the man is What do squirrels give for Valentine’s Day? getting frustrated. As he prepares for his third and final Forget-me-nuts. try, he sees a vision. A beautiful, naked woman appears out of nowhere. She approaches the stunned man, who A little boy came home from school and his until recently, believed that he was the only person for homework assignment was to find out what hundreds of miles. She smiles at him and says, “I would the difference was between hypothetically and do anything for that bowl of fruit you have.” “Anything?” realistically, so he asked his dad. His dad said, he says, getting fairly excited. “Yes, anything.” she replies. “Well, go ask your mom if she would sleep with the So, he says, “Will you hold the donkey?” mail man for $1,000,000.” He went and asked and came back and said, “She said yes”. “Well,”, said the dad, “Go ask A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette are riding in an your sister the same question.” He did and came back and elevator, when they see a small puddle in the corner. The said, “She said yes.” And the dad said, “Now go ask your brunette looks at it. “That’s definitely cum,” she says. brother the same thing.” He did and came back and said, The redhead touches it. “That’s definitely cum,” she says. “He said yes too!” And the dad said, “Well hypothetically The blonde takes a little taste. “That’s definitely cum, but we’re sitting on three million dollars, realistically we’re nobody in our building.” living with 2 whores and a fag!” A woman walks into her accountant’s office and tells him I just love to do special things for my wife on Valentine’s that she needs to file her taxes. The accountant says, Day. Like open the door for her when she puts all the “Before we begin, I’ll need to ask a few questions.” He gets laundry in the washing machine, or plug and unplug her name, address, social security number, etc. and then the vacuum as she moves from room-to-room cleaning. asks, “What is your occupation?” The woman replies, Guys, it’s these little thoughtful things you can do to have “I’m a whore.” The accountant balks and says, “No, no, no. a marriage such as mine. That will never work. That is much too crass. Let’s try to rephrase that.” The woman, “Ok, I’m a prostitute.” “No, Tired of constant blonde jokes, a blonde dyes her hair that is still too crude. Try again.” They both think for a brown. She then goes for a drive in the country and minute, then the woman states, “I’m a chicken farmer.” sees a shepherd herding his sheep across the road. “Hey, The accountant asks, “What does chicken farming have shepherd, if I guess how many sheep are here, can I keep to do with being a whore or a prostitute?” “Well, I raised one?” The shepherd is puzzled but agrees. She blurts out over 5,000 cocks last year.” “352!” He is stunned but keeps his word and allows her to pick a sheep. “I’ll take this one,” she says proudly. “It’s I was in Venice Beach in January and there was a homeless the cutest!” “Hey lady,” says the shepherd, “if I guess your man with a sign that said “1 dollar for dirty joke.” Seemed real hair color, can I have my dog back?” like a good investment to me so I gladly handed over a dollar. Homeless man: “Alright sir what’s your name?” Why do people say ‘Grow some balls?’ Balls are weak and Me: “John” Homeless man: “So Johny, there is black sensitive. If you wanna be tough, grow a vagina. Those rooster alright? How many legs does that chicken have.” things can take a pounding. Me: “Two?” Homeless man: “Right, now how many wings this black rooster got?” Me: “Two?” Homeless man: Two old ladies are walking through a museum and got “Right, now how many eyes this black rooster got?” Me: separated. When they ran into each other later the first “Two?” Homeless man: “Right again, now there is this old lady said to the second, “Oh my! Did you see that white cat walking around how many hairs are on that statue of the naked man back there?” The second old white cat?” Me: “I don’t know? A lot?” Homeless man: lady replied, “Yes! I was absolutely shocked! How can “Well Johny, why do you know so much about black cock they display such a thing! My gosh the penis on it was so and not enough about white pussy.” large!” Where upon the first old lady accidentally blurted out, “...Yeah, and cold, too!” Enjoy Valentine’s Day! 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same trough. I am done, I can’t do it. Remember just a few years ago and the toxic nature of our culture and Screw it, I am gonna sit this one out. what the complete shit show it all was? You know it will Okay I have said this before, I hate February, but that is why be returning and it’s sad. It changed the dynamics of how I am going to sit out this time around. Sure, this is a screwy we enjoyed social media, no matter what side someone month. In Iowa it’s one of the coldest months, we are in the was one, the toxic filth that came out was just so tiring death grip of winter and its icy grasp on our nether regions. and myself (like a great many other people) just choose The weather is fine if you’re into the icy things. Ice fishing, to not engage with so many people any more, all because Ice hockey, Ice sculpting, Ice dancing, or ice in my bourbon instead of having a conversation about policy it was all just a character shredding of each side no matter what glass, we are at peak ice crap which does not bode well at all for riding. It’s the month that unless I travel somewhere, you supported. I am not ready to go through all the same there is not much of a chance that I will ride at all, let alone malarkey again; my brain just can’t deal with it. Even friends of mine whom perhaps in my Hawkeye state. It is I am politically in lined just amazing how much the with kept posting the same weather just drives us to propaganda rubbish, the same spend time inside and wait memes, re-sharing cable news for spring, the correct day stories or worse, some crack is March 1st by the way. pot podcast with “the ultimate Weather insiders will tell truth that will lead to so and you, March 1st is spring, so going to prison”. I just just go with it. don’t care. Here again is the other Did you also notice none “issue” I have with of that crap ever happened? February and it’s because Nothing got repealed, nobody it’s a Leap Year, you know went to jail, no fixtures “went that event every four years down” and the election was when we need to add held up. It was a wasted an additional day to the void of garbage from both calendar to balance out the sides and it was just mind year so we make it February numbingly stupid and I want the 29th. That is just some no part of it. stupid crap, an extra day in February. Why! When I have more inclusion than I am in charge, and I will the average person when it comes to the political game. I be, my first order of business is to move Leap Day out off worked on several campaigns, I grew up with a grandfather its terrible month and move it to June…June 31st has a lovely ring to it doesn’t it? I mean why wouldn’t you want that was an election commissioner, I helped set up polling places, I planned rallies, worked phone banks, and even an extra day in a glorious month rather than this month. Makes so much sense and nobody will be against me when acted as a driver to events for candidates, served on I make this happen. June 31st, see you at the bar, beach, or advisory boards and “gulp” actually at one time may or may not have considered running for an office. Okay, I was whatever. recruited a couple of times to run for a couple of different Here is what I am sitting out. The thing that comes up every offices but I just can’t deal with any of it any more. I was honored to be considered but just value my life way too Leap Year, another national election. much to deal with the frustration. Look, I don’t care what person is causing you to vote a specific way, left, right, middle, male, female, a yoga goat, I mean sure, so many people that enter the public life end up being millionaires and when they do leave office wind I don’t care. I don’t like who you like. To be honest, I up with some cushy job that pays a ton of cash to because don’t like any one that I am may support, it’s all shit from the same pig and every single one running is feeding at the of connections. I guess if we can just skip to that part and somebody makes me rich, I’ll be your Huckleberry! The point is, been there, done that and I am over all of it. I don’t know if your person is good, I can’t see how they really are, again, nothing ever changes. No promises are ever kept when it comes right down to it and every four years we just rinse, lather, and repeat. The cycle never stops. But mine did. 28 - TRMI FEBRUARY 2024

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I don’t engage in discourse any longer, I don’t let people try and suck me into social media pissing matches, I simply walk away or if they don’t get the hint, the block button works wonderfully.

already puts me on edge just a little bit. I am checking out, pulling the plug, and stepping away. I don’t want to play in those reindeer games. If that strokes your privates, have a great time and enjoy it.

I have a great many things that are going to bring me I am moving forward to achieve my true goal… immense happiness this year. A great once in a lifetime trip to see stuff I have only dreamed of. Some expanded Moving Leap Day to June. horizons to ride and embrace some areas that are opening themselves up to more freedom for riders and I cannot wait Todd “Crash” Davis to support that. We have a return to Sturgis coming up with people that I adore, my son has a ton of leave from the Air Force to burn up and he wants to hang out and I am still fully embracing this newly discovered empty nester thing now that our daughters are both in college. So many cool things we have planned. Not counting the random Thursday night where we can just jump on a bike and go find a tenderloin. Hell, I might find the top five tenderloins in Iowa and start knocking them off my list. I have done much stupider things in my life. You are looking at a guy that once flew to Dallas for a cheeseburger. (There and back in the same day, who doesn’t love America?) The election crap is only going to get more intense every single day until this election is over. Forgive us all if we go through the same crap even after the election that we dealt with the last go around. Plus, it’s February and this

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for motor vehicles. ABATE of Ohio played a major role in getting this law on the books. In northern Europe, Norway, which had targeted zero greenhouse gas emissions by 2030, is likewise backing off on its plan as its feasibility becomes less certain. None of this is to say that we shouldn’t be concerned about pollution. We absolutely need to address these issues, especially in our major cities. But the outright elimination of vehicles powered by fossil fuels is not the answer.

Is Green the New Gray Area? By Mark Buckner Executive Director – Motorcycle Riders Foundation For as long as I can remember – which is getting to be a LONG time! – those of us who love riding motorcycles and have devoted a large part of our lives to preserving and protecting our way of life have been telling anyone who would listen that the enemies of motorcycling don’t just want to pass more and more restrictive laws where we’re concerned. Their ultimate goal is to get us off the road entirely. A prime example of this is the recent push to outlaw internal combustion engines, just one of the issues the Motorcycle Riders Foundation and our partners in the state motorcyclists’ rights organizations and the motorcycle aftermarket are fighting head on.

Regarding the general public’s opinion on an all-electric solution, many people are less than enthusiastic about moving away from gasoline-powered alternatives. According to the Sierra Club, in 2022 66% of car dealerships did not have an electric vehicle for sale. We can only assume that’s because there was no market for them. Today, thousands of car dealerships around the country are pushing back on the Biden plan, saying they can’t sell the electric vehicles they already have in stock. Car manufacturers are backing off as well, curtailing production of new EVs. Why is that?

First and foremost, electric vehicles are expensive. Some studies suggest that people who can afford to buy allSo why are internal combustion engines under attack? The electric cars represent a finite group, and that many of Biden administration is calling for one in two new cars sold those consumers have already purchased an EV car or in the 2030s to be fully electric. Federal incentives intended truck, meaning the available pool of buyers is shrinking. Also problematic is that due in large part to the high cost to prop up ‘green’ proposals have been pushed through of battery replacement, there is a very small market for Congress. In some states, these initiatives have become used electric vehicles. Basically, no one wants to buy them all the rage, calling for the elimination of all internal combustion engines and the end of fossil fuels as an energy knowing that a big repair bill is headed their way. While battery technology will likely improve in coming years, source. California’s plan to ban all internal combustion engines by 2035 is the most obvious of these, while similar as of today that technology and questions about the cost of building a sufficient charging infrastructure are major plans have been launched around the country and the concerns for consumers. world. On the surface, that might sound bleak for those of us who love our gasoline-powered bikes, cars, trucks, and Finally, we should never forget that for the ‘nanny state’ boats, but there may be good news on the horizon. As more crowd, going all the way back to Ralph Nader and the research is coming to light from a feasibility, a financial, original safety-crats of the 1960s, the mantra has remained and an environmental perspective, initiatives targeting zero the same. That being, where safety is concerned, the public greenhouse gas emissions are being reexamined. can’t be trusted to make their own decisions or manage their own risks. In other words, these fine folks think they’re The Connecticut state legislature, like their counterparts smarter and better equipped to make policy decisions than in California, initially targeted the elimination of internal combustion engines by 2035, but has now decided to pump us mere citizens. In their delusionary ‘Road to Zero’ world - where there will be zero accidents and zero fatalities - the the brakes, killing Senate Bill 1145 which would have set unattainable greenhouse gas emission goals. Part of that bill best way to get there is to get rid of what they consider to be would have penalized non-compliant parties up to $25,000 dangerous activities - like riding motorcycles. Eliminating internal combustion engines could go a long way towards PER DAY for not meeting stated objectives, labeling the achieving that goal. penalties as a ‘tax’. Other uncoordinated decarbonization ‘roadmap bills’ are still being considered in Connecticut, but Just as we have since the 1980s, the Motorcycle Riders the all-out push to join states like Massachusetts, California, Foundation is standing up for motorcycling, fighting against and others is on the decline. issues like the elimination of internal combustion engines, Ohio is pushing back as well. Their state legislature recently and we need every concerned rider to join us in our mission. If you’re not already a member of the MRF, my only passed House Bill 201, signed into law by Governor Mike question to you would be ‘why not?’ DeWine. HB 201 prohibits state agencies, counties, or townships in Ohio “from restricting the sale or use of a The answer: htpps://mrf.org/join motor vehicle based on the energy source used to power the motor vehicle.” It also specifically prohibits a state For independent aftermarket motorcycle shops: https://mrf. agency from adopting the California emissions standards org/join-mrf-imac Thunder Roads Magazine of Iowa on Facebook www.thunderroadsiowa.com 30 - TRMI FEBRUARY 2024



7 Essential Cold Weather Winter Riding Tips for Motorcyclists

socks, gloves, vests, and jackets. It’s highly suggested to consider having a heated jacket or vest stored within your motorcycle at all times. These thin layers fit within most insulating layers, or can even take the Cold weather winter riding is something almost every place of them to help keep your core warm. Heated or motorcycle rider around the world will experience either high-quality gloves are crucial to keeping your hands on purpose, or on accident. And when you’re sitting at warm as well, which is essential for maintaining good your desk, reading an article about it, it might not seem motorcycle control. like that big of a deal, however, cold-weather riding is a unique situation that demands your respect as a rider, 4. Motorcycle Effects: Riding in the cold can affect and your knowledge of how to safely navigate it. Riding the machine as much as the person riding it. In cold while cold has been proven to decrease both mental conditions, tires become harder and consequently lose and physical capacity, and also negatively affects traction. In cold weather, there may also be sleet, snow, motorcycle function as well. So whether you’re simply ice, frost, or even new cracks or holes in the road. a normal rider who wants to be prepared for getting Because of this, rider lean angle must be decreased caught in the cold at some point (eventually we all are) (as if you were riding in the rain) and extra precautions or you’re one of the few, the brave, and the possibly need to be taken while navigating corners or calculating insane motorcyclists that ride year-round — these stopping distances. Top motorcycle elements to check essential cold-weather riding tips are for you: before, during, and after a cold-weather ride are: 1. Check the Forecast: This may seem like common sense but you’d be surprised how fast a perfectly sunny day can turn into a dangerous riding situation. Checking the weather only takes moments, and lets you know what to expect throughout the day. Another important reason to check the weather is to accurately calculate the riding temperature. According to the U.S. National Weather Service, riders can calculate the motorcycle wind chill by using the wind-chill charts readily available on the internet. 2. Layer Smarter (Clothing): When it comes to layering protocol — the best strategy is to layer smarter, not thicker. An effective layering strategy would be: 1. Wicking Layer: A thin, wicking, athletic-material layer to prevent dampness and saturation. 2. Insulating Layer: A thin mid-layer of wool, polyester, or a blend to trap heat and provide insulation. This could be a long sleeve T-Shirt. 3. Insulating Layer: A second, thicker insulating layer, possibly with a hood or thin helmetfriendly head covering.

1. Tires: Cold weather means cold tires, which means decreased traction. One way to protect against the effects of cold weather on motorcycle tires is to ensure that they’re in good shape. Tires should have ample tread, be at the correct pressure, lack any type of bulges or rot, and be less than 5 years old. Tire pressure should always be check before every ride. 2. Fluid: Maintaining correct fluid levels should also be on your pre-cold-weather ride checklist. Coolants are often rated for specific temperatures, and some motorcycle manuals will call for different oil weights in different riding conditions. 3. Battery: Proper battery function should be confirmed before riding (to ensure you don’t get stranded when stopping). Carry a battery jump starter just in case. 5. Motorcycle Modifications: In today’s world there is an almost endless amount of safety and comfort-related modifications riders make to their bikes. Some top coldweather riding related ones are:

4. Waterproof Shell: A waterproof, breathable shell with covered seams (most textile motorcycle jackets are waterproof).

1. Larger Windscreen: Any blockage of airflow over your body will help to reduce lost heat

5. Neck/Head Protection: An often-overlooked element of staying warm, products like the Aerostich Windstopper help to keep this area warm.

2. Lowered Fairings: Same as above, more body protections means more retained warmth. Handlebar Covers: A step up from handguards — handlebar covers are an insulated layer that furthers your hands’ protection from the cold.

When selecting your clothing for a cold-weather ride it is always smarter to overcommit than under. You can always unzip layers, or remove them entirely if you have storage areas on your motorcycle. Remember to include layering for your legs and feet too, and strive to never use layers that are too thick for you to move comfortably in.

4. Heated Seat: Though more common in cars than in motorcycles, heated seats are an available modification option for many makes and models.

3. Heated Motorcycle Gear: The advent of heated gear was a game-changer for riders everywhere. Heated gear is available in a variety of forms, including pants,

6. Mental Checks: Knowing how to spot the warning signs of cold-induced fatigue can truly mean the difference between life and death for a rider. These

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3. Heated Handgrips: Installing a heated handgrip system is simple and cost-effective.

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beginning warning signs of hypothermia while riding can include:

doing this however, as sweating will greatly increase the speed at which you become cold again.

1. Slowed reaction times. 2. Stiffness in the hands and legs, loss of mobility. 3. Decreased mental clarity, “zoning out” or missing road signs. 4. Shivering. 5. Difficulty naturally taking deep breaths. 6. “Hunched” or lowered posture while riding.

2. Have a Snack: The act of digestion burns calories, which creates heat. Ideally, your snack would be or include something warm. 3. Know When to Stop: One of the most important skills a motorcyclist can have is knowing their limits. If you begin to have signs of impaired function, have an improperly prepared motorcycle, are caught in unexpected weather, or simply are too tired to continue — find a place to stop for the night and start fresh in the morning (using a tow service if needed).

Any combination of these symptoms can indicate that your mental and physical capability to ride a motorcycle has begun to decrease, which is a serious issue that needs to be addressed as quickly as possible to Without a doubt, cold-weather riding can be rewarding prevent further decline. and exhilarating. It’s important to recognize when conditions are too hazardous to ride, and while riding 7. Quick Fixes: Most riders don’t intend to ride in cold it’s essential to always perform both motorcycle and weather. More often than not riders are caught off guard self-checks to ensure optimal performance from both by a sudden storm or decrease in temperature. In these man and machine. Often a rider won’t even realize how situations, a few well-used “hacks” can help you to heat much the cold is affecting them until they have a close up and get home safely. call or experience significant issues. Learning how to recognize warning signs and address cold-weather 1. Pushups: When we become cold our blood challenges is crucial for anyone on two wheels. vessels constrict, decreasing circulation to our body. A temporary quick fix could be to stop to https://ride.vision/blog/7-essential-cold-weather-winterexecute a set of pushups and/or jumping jacks. riding-tips-for-motorcyclists/ It’s essential not to over-exert yourself when 34 - TRMI FEBRUARY 2024

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GET US YOUR EVENTS FOR THIS YEAR! EMAIL vernon@thunderroadsiowa.com Thanks in Advance! Feb 8 Feb 10

ABATE of Iowa Lobby Day Des Moines 33rd Annual Chili Cook-Off Metro HD Cedar Rapids Feb 16-18 38th Annual ABATE D2 Lincoln Bike Show Lincoln, NE Feb 17 Chili Cook Off Harley-Davidson of Carroll Feb 17 Baxter Cycle Open House Marne Feb 24 Sleeping Angels Foundation 6th Annual Angel Gala Boone Feb 25 620 Polar Roller Bowling Tournament Metro HD Cedar Rapids Feb 24-25 55th Annual O’Reilly Auto Parts Rod and Custom Show Monticello Mar 3 Parts Girl Promotions Swap Meet Cedar Rapids Mar 22-24 Omaha Chapter AMCA National Swap Meet Fremont NE Mar 23 29th Annual Metro Pancake Breakfast Metro HD Cedar Rapids Mar 23-24 35th Annual Donnie Smith Show and Swap Saint Paul, MN Apr 7 Parts Girl Promotions Swap Meet Rock Island, IL Apr 27 BACA Pancake Breakfast Metro HD Cedar Rapids May 3-4 Vintage Torque Fest Dubuque May 4 13th Annual Sleeping Angels Fun Run Boone May 5 6th Annual 1st Baptist Bike Blessing Muscatine May 5 40th Annual Spring Auto/Motorcycle Swap Meet Monticello

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May 17-18 Rust Resurrection Traditional Hot Rod Show/Swap Conesville May 23-26 Redneck Revival Conesville May 25-27 Midway Tavern’s 26th Annual Veterans Memorial BBQ, Poker Run, & Street Dance Soldier Jun 14-15 Rumble in the Sand Conesville Jul 3-6 ABATE of Iowa Freedom Rally Algona Jul 4-6 Iowa Hog Drags and Nostalgia Reunion Humboldt Jul 6 17th Annual Freeman Ride Avoca Jul 12-13 11th Annual Combat Vets Chapter 39-3 Benefit Ride/Cruise Elkport Jul 20 7th Annual Cruizin for a Cure Charity Ride Metro HD Cedar Rapids Jul 25-28 Omaha Bike Week Ralston, NE Aug 2-11 Black Hills Motorcycle Rally South Dakota Aug 16-18 19th Annual BTW Trike In Kellogg Aug 17 Hell on Wheels #7 Donnellson Aug 18 6th Annual Cancer Sucks Car, Truck, & Bike Show Council Bluffs Aug 28-Sep 1 Redneck Revival Conesville Aug 31-Sep 1 Midway Tavern’s 261960th Annual Soldier Valley Poker Run, BBQ/Dance/Concert Soldier Sep 15 18th Annual World-Famous Butterfield’s M-C Parts Hot Dog Daze Omaha, NE Sep 20-21 Rumble in the Sand Conesville Sep 21 Bike Night & BBQ Cook Off Stuart Sep 26-29 40th Annual MRF Meeting of the Minds St Louis, MO Sep 28 Apple Fest Car and Bike Show Woodbine Nov 1-3 Iowa Steam Council Bluffs

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