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The only one who had made me sunk to the and when I try to talk, it’s stone cold I just kissed Aman and you still punished me floor of your expectations like I was pregnant or something I didn’t think a kiss could be so bad until I felt Was me the rice digging into my knees as you twisted my head towards Virgin Mary, even the statue So society, I thank you felt like it was judging me too I truly do But I wouldn’t say the prayer You’ve taught me that to be above the noise I had to above my own impulse to be better Didn’t. Do. Anything. Wrong. than the next person And instead become the best version of me But you still banished me from having free time and took my phone anyway I felt like my thoughts could only be heard in my journal, Seek First to Understand the journal Twin gave me Then to be Understood But you had to block out that communication too Saniya P. Everything that could listen to me the way you never did, you burned into flames The same flames I saw as my leather journal Mami would never agree to that statement turned into ashes before my eyes Of course she wouldn’t disagree directly, Each word speaking my truth but rather wave it off with her neglect to hear Gone. my voice And I started to wonder...if you would burn me To understand...me too if you could knowing that my poetry was I’m tired of being put in this cookie-cutter frame there too to be this “perfect nun” My truth. When I’m still trying to figure out who or what God is And I’m tired of the dirty looks I’d get from her when I ask questions about the Bible I mean, you expect me to go to confirmation classes without knowing why this book was written in the first place? I know now we were never on the same page about...well everything I used to look up to you as a little girl Mami but now...I see you as this wall that shuts me out
