disordered
a deeper look at my fluctuating relationship with food
By Perri Moran
M
y earliest memory of my troubling relationship with food comes from age six or seven. At that age, my parents fed me and I was never responsible for making my own food. My family ate a pretty standard diet for the early 2000’s: PB&J on whole grain, grilled cheese and Campbell’s tomato soup and Annie’s boxed mac and cheese — a healthier alternative to Kraft. However, on the particular night in question, my mom left dinner duty to my dad, who was not feeling up to the task of putting a pizza in the oven for me and my brother. “I’m hungry,” I told him, as we stood in the kichen. He thought for a moment, then his eyes widened and with a grin, he said, “pig out!” Essentially, he was telling me to go into the pantry and be self-sufficient. For 6- or 7-year-old Perri, this was huge. Never had I been allowed to take things from the refrigerator or pantry without asking or being moderated.
late Factory; in slow motion, I shove sliced ham, string cheese, Oreo cookies, wheat thins, potato chips and whatever else looked appealing into my mouth, barely taking a moment to chew before my next mouthful. Over the next decade of my life, as I became increasingly self-sufficient with food, I found myself doing this more and more. I grew up in a “finish what’s on your plate” kind of family. I don’t necessarily blame that rule for this, but as I got older, I often found myself overeating to the point of discomfort.
are “behavioral conditions characterized by severe and persistent disturbance in eating behaviors and associated distressing thoughts and emotions.” (Psychology.org) However, eating disorders are not just anorexia and bulimia. Several other eating disorders exist, including Binge Eating Disorder, Other Specified Feeding and Eating Disorder and Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder (ARFID). And then, alternatively, there is the more recently recognized idea of disordered eating, and disordered eating can look a lot different from what comes to mind at the
It was at this point that my disordered relationship with food began.
When I hear the phrase “eating disorder,” the first thing that comes to my mind is starving oneself, being at an unhealthily low weight first mention of “eating disorders.” or binging and purging. That’s not an uncommon correlation. Dr. CassieVanderwall, a registered dietiI recall the next part of this memotian nutritionist, UW-Madison teachAccording to the American Psychiry as if it’s Augustus Gloop’s scene ing faculty member and former clinici atric Association, eating disorders from Willy Wonka and the Choco-
11 Spring 2022
