44 10 willamette week, january 3, 2018

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AUBREY GIGANDET

FINDINGS

THE LIGHTHOUSE, PAGE 37

WHAT WE LEARNED FROM READING THIS WEEK’S PAPER VOL. 44, ISSUE 10.

An Oregon Senate race is feeling the Bern. 6

A tax on the salary of the Ducks’ football coach could fund tuition, room and board for 20 students. 7 Portland’s planned wooden skyscraper includes something familiar: a whopping price tag for low-income housing. 8 One day of subsisting solely on beer turned our reporter into human garbage. He persisted. 12

Illustration by Grant Kratzer.

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ON THE COVER:

WILLAMETTE WEEK

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2018 HEALTH AND WELLNESS ISSUE.

Getting a flip phone will give you serenity and a monthly bill of just $25. 14 A good sound-healing session is supposed to leave you feeling like a bear waking up from hibernation. 16 Aroids are the new succulents. 18

The best fried-chicken chef in town just found a new home. 29 Getting drunk is an art. 39

OUR MOST TRAFFICKED STORY ONLINE THIS WEEK:

What it’s like to betray Antifa to the cops—and get caught.

P. 29 VOL 44/10 01.03.2018

STAFF Editor & Publisher Mark Zusman

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DIALOGUE Last week, WW highlighted the voices of four Portlanders who were leaving 2017 with new identities (“Voices,” WW, Dec. 27, 2017). The most controversial perspective came from Tan, a 20-year-old former Antifa member who was ostracized from the group after being exposed as a police informant. Here’s what our readers had to say about Tan’s ousting: Hannah Howard, via wweek.com: “If Tan had a different opinion about police (albeit a pretty naive one), Tan should have voiced it to the groups Tan was part of, and those groups could have made a decision as a whole about working with police. Instead Tan acted entirely individually, on the view that Tan knew better than Tan’s fellow activists, and didn’t even bother to tell those activists about it.”

Amanda Smith, via Facebook: “You clearly don’t remember the past or are grossly ignorant of Portland’s history. There’s a good reason antifascists don’t try to change the minds of white supremacists, because it never works. They weren’t looking for open-minded discussion when they beat Mulugeta Seraw to death and they aren’t looking for it now.”

EDUCATION REFORM TAKES TIME

During my interview for “Voices” [WW, Dec. 27, 2017], journalist Rachel Monahan repeatedly framed her questions around the Chalkboard Project in the negative (“a notable failure”) and then presented my comments in a way that made it appear I affirmed her point of view. In the spirit of accuracy, I wanted to share more of what I told Rachel. “Antifa Aaron Brock, via Twitter: “It ain’t Chalkboard has become an indesnitching when you’re trying to protect makes me pendent, trusted voice in education innocent people who get caught in the embarrassed reform. In districts where it’s been crossfire from bad guys.” working, there has been measurable to be a tree-hugging improvement. Chalkboard’s core David Elrod, via Facebook: “Don’t programs focus on improving teacher come to Berkeley. No snitches needed lefty. ” effectiveness and have shown success. here.” Many are now being transferred to the state for widespread implementation. So there Cody Guenther, via Facebook: “Oh nice, anoth- have been real successes, but they’re incremental. er hit piece on Antifa. WW might as well endorse Education is a gnarly bureaucracy with deeply Trump for 2020 if they’re going to go out of their entrenched practices that takes years to evolve. We way to (poorly) smear the only people willing to do haven’t reached our aspirations around lifting student achievement outcomes statewide, but we’re anything these days.” on a solid path towards systemic change. Sean Fleckenstein, via Facebook: “Antifa makes me a little embarrassed to be a tree-hugging lefty. Doug Stamm They’re not accomplishing anything, quite the op- Meyer Memorial Trust posite.” Lee Matsuda, via Twitter: “Antifa isn’t ‘superstitious’ about cops—they are rightfully distrustful of a dangerously right-wing militarized police force.”

LETTERS TO THE EDITOR must include the author’s street address and phone number for verification. Letters must be 250 or fewer words. Submit to: 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Email: mzusman@wweek.com

Dr. Know BY MART Y SMITH

Ferry service in Portland seems to have ended in the 1920s. I can understand why such a service died when the alternative was a quick drive over the bridge, but crossing the bridges isn’t exactly quick these days. Isn’t it time for a rush-hour water taxi? —Brian Come, come, Brian; you know the answer to this question. It’s the same one your mom gave every time you walked past a toy store. Let’s you, me and a 2006 feasibility study commissioned by the city all say it together: “We can’t afford it!” “No fair! Seattle’s government let them have a water taxi!” “If Seattle jumped off a fiscal cliff, would you jump off after it?” “Yes.” “Seattle had an existing ferry infrastructure of docks and terminal facilities dating back decades, not to mention a Puget Sound ferry fleet ripe for repurposing. Your father and I would have to build all that stuff from scratch, to the tune of God knows how many millions of dollars. We just bought you a $57 million aerial tramway, why don’t you play with that?” “It’s stupid. It doesn’t even go anywhere.” “What about that $157 million streetcar we 4

Willamette Week JANUARY 3, 2018 wweek.com

bought you? That goes somewhere…sort of.” “You didn’t even buy that; it was from Uncle Sam!” “Well, mister, if you think you can persuade your Uncle Sam to buy you a water taxi, you just march right up to Capitol Hill and ask him. Even if you get it, you’ll need to cough up almost $7 per person, per trip, just to cover operating costs.” “The report said $5.55!” “That was in 2006 dollars. Why are you so in love with flashy transit options that don’t pay for themselves? Don’t you want some nice sidewalks for your eastside?” “Ugh, poor people.” “Yeah, sport, I guess you’re right—they’re gross, huh? What say you, me and our 200 favorite real estate developers price them all out to Gresham and then get ice cream?” “Oh, boy! It’s a deal!” QUESTIONS? Send them to dr.know@wweek.com


#wweek #wweek

C I S U M

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In 2017, thieves set a 20-year record by nicking more cars from Portland streets than in any year since 1997. More than 6,500 vehicles were stolen from driveways, parking spots and curbsides last year. Prosecutors say two Oregon Court of Appeals rulings have made it extremely difficult to convict car thieves (“Car Jack City,” WW, Nov. 29, 2017). But they hold out hope that a change in the law that failed in the 2017 Legislature could come back either in the short session or in 2019. “We’re trying to get that done,” says Multnomah County Deputy District Attorney Ryan Lufkin. “We’re going to be trying every year.”

Colleague Questions Smith’s Campaign Fundraising

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Multnomah County Commissioner Lori Stegmann says the county may need to seek the advice of an outside attorney on whether Commissioner Loretta Smith violated the county charter by campaigning for the Portland City Council this fall. Smith, who filed Jan. 2 to run to succeed City Commissioner Dan Saltzman, faces a fine from the state, but it’s not clear whether her campaign-related activity this fall was a technical violation of the charter, which requires commissioners to resign their seat if they run for another elected office more than a year before the end of their term. “I don’t have enough clarification of what the charter says,” says Stegmann. “As an elected [official], the most important thing is that we hold one another accountable.” Smith’s three other colleagues avoided questioning Smith’s actions.

Fight for Devlin’s Seat Heats Up

The battle to succeed longtime state Sen. Richard Devlin (D-Tualatin) has reached a fever pitch. On Jan. 6, precinct committee persons from Multnomah, Clackamas and Washington counties will meet to narrow the field of seven candidates to replace Devlin, who left the Legislature at year end for an appointment to the Northwest Power Planning and Conservation Council. Most interest groups have dual-endorsed some combination of candidates that includes Lake Oswego School Board member Rob Wagner or former Multnomah County lobbyist Claudia Black or both. But supporters of U.S. Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-Vt.) are emerging as a potential counterbalance to traditional interest groups such as labor unions. The “Berners” held a public candidate forum Dec. 29 and endorsed Black and Lake Oswego environmentalist Daphne Wysham. The three county commissions will select a new senator at the end of the month.

Nelson Named to State Supreme Court

NELSON

Remarkably, no AfricanAmerican has ever served on either the Oregon Court of Appeals or the state’s Supreme Court. Gov. Kate Brown changed that Jan. 2, naming Multnomah County Circuit Judge Adrienne C. Nelson to fill a vacancy on the Oregon Supreme Court. “Judge Nelson is a widely respected civil rights champion,” Brown said, “whose perspective on the bench moves us closer to our shared vision of justice for all.”


NEWS

WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS WEEK

No Profit, No Loophole

THE BIG NUMBER

$79,525

A PROVISION OF THE NEW FEDERAL TAX LAW WILL COST NONPROFITS DEARLY. BY N I G E L JAQ UI SS

njaquiss@wweek.com

The sweeping, 1,000-page tax reform bill rammed through Congress in December slashes corporate taxes and rewards the rich. But not every affluent person wins. One group that got coal in its collective stocking was the rarefied set of nonprofit leaders who get paid more than $1 million a year. In Oregon, that means college football coaches, hospital executives and the officials who run the state’s largest credit union. Starting in 2018, their employers will have to pay a 21 percent excise tax on the paycheck of each

Oregon Ducks football coach Mario Cristobal: Cristobal recently signed a contract with base compensation of $2.5 million. The University of Oregon’s tax on that amount: $525,000, or enough to pay tuition, room and board for about 20 students.

x 20 Oregon State Beavers football coach Jonathan Smith: Like Cristobal, Smith is brand-new. He’s slightly cheaper at $1.9 million. The tax on his salary, $399,000, could buy new 12-inch MacBooks for 300 students.

x 300

I L L U S T R AT I O N S B Y R O S I E S T R U V E

employee (up to a total of five per organization) who earns more than $1 million. Jody Wiser of Tax Fairness Oregon says the new provision brings nonprofits into line with forprofit corporations, which cannot deduct executive compensation of more than $1 million as a business expense. “It seems perfectly fair to me,” Wiser says. “Football coaches and hospital administrators shouldn’t be paid more than a million dollars anyway, and if they are, the public certainly shouldn’t be subsidizing it.” Here are some Oregonians likely to be affected by the new tax:

OnPoint Community Credit Union: Credit unions don’t pay taxes, but some pay their executives handsomely. OnPoint paid CEO Robert Stuart $2.35 million, according to its most recent tax return. It also paid three other executive well over $1.5 million. The tax on Stuart’s pay: $494,000, enough to buy 50 top-of-the line ATMs.

x 50 Oregon Health & Science University: OHSU President Dr. Joe Robertson is retiring, but his replacement is likely to make at least as much as Robertson’s $1.7 million paycheck for last year. OHSU will probably have other million-dollar earners, although doctors’ earnings for medical services are exempt from the new law. The tax on Robertson’s successor: $357,000, enough to buy a handmade quilt for each of OHSU Hospital’s 522 beds.

That’s the amount of campaign donations architect Stuart Emmons has reported raising as he mulls a second attempt at running for the Portland City Council. Emmons hasn’t declared which race he’s running in—the seat being vacated by Commissioner Dan Saltzman or the one currently held by Commissioner Nick Fish. Yet he’s already raised more money than anyone running in either contest. O n e c a m p a i g n f i n a n ce wa tc h d o g s ays Emmons’ coyness may be illegal. He could be breaking state law by raising funds without registering a new campaign finance committee with state officials or amending his existing one— the same violation that last month drew a $250 fine for Multnomah County Commissioner Loretta Smith. “He’s definitely got the same problem,” says Seth Woolley, secretary of the Pacific Green Party of Oregon, who filed the complaint against Smith. Emmons says he hasn’t decided whether to run for office or what seat he would seek. “We are confident that we are following the spirit and letter of Oregon election laws,” he says. RACHEL MONAHAN.

Providence Health & Services: Providence, which operates 50 hospitals in five states, paid at least 10 executives more than $1 million according to its latest tax return, topped by Seattle-based CEO Dr. Rod Hochman, who took home $5.17 million. The tax on his pay: $1.09 million—enough to hire 12 new nurses.

x 12 Legacy Health: Legacy is a lot smaller than Providence, but its CEO, Dr. George Brown, received $2.3 million last year. The tax on Brown’s salary: $483,000, which could otherwise pay for 1,000 high-quality blood pressure cuffs.

x 1000

x 552

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NEWS

TRICIA HIPPS

Wooden Nickels MAYOR TED WHEELER PLEDGED TO BRING DOWN THE PRICE OF AFFORDABLE HOUSING. NOW HE’S COMMITTED CITY DOLLARS TO AN EVEN MORE EXPENSIVE PROJECT. rmonahan@wweek.com

Portland Mayor Ted Wheeler announced Nov. 7 he wants to use public housing dollars to build an 11-story building with an innovative design. The building would be the nation’s tallest made of wood and serve as a public relations boon for the timber industry, but it’s also attracting critics because it would be far more expensive to build than a traditional concrete and steel structure. “This might be a good project if we were not in a housing emergency,” says Jo Ann Hardesty, a candidate for the Portland City Council. “I’m just concerned we get distracted by the shiny new object.” As Wheeler prepared to take office in fall 2016, he pledged to slash the high price the city pays to build affordable housing. At the time, WW reported that citysubsidized apartments cost up to $514 per square foot to purchase and renovate— more than double the rate of constructing market-rate housing (“Roofless,” WW, Sept. 28, 2016). Wheeler’s response to that story was decisive. “We have to reduce costs and get more supply on the market as quickly as possible,” Wheeler told WW then. “You can’t just declare a housing emergency and keep doing the same thing.” But a year later, Wheeler’s choice for Portland’s next affordable housing project comes with a even higher price tag: $651.43 per square foot. The $29 million high-rise in the Pearl District, called Framework, would be the tallest building in the country to use an innovative wood product called crosslaminated timber, or CLT, instead of steel and concrete. It will be a pricey test case in which two-bedroom apartments measuring just 8

Willamette Week JANUARY 3, 2018 wweek.com

660 square feet will cost $567,389 each to build, according to the county housing authority Home Forward’s calculations, which include a portion of the common area attached to each apartment. Wheeler defends his decision to back Framework, arguing that the city is paying for only part of the building, along with other public and private funders. The city will chip in $6 million in urban renewal funds toward the nearly $29 million project. Another $19.5 milLEVER ARCHITECTURE

BY RACHEL MONAHAN

lines. Those call for the city not to spend public dollars on two-bedroom units that cost more than $354,500 an apartment. The price per unit at Framework is more than $200,000 higher. “The cost of affordable housing is still way too high,” Wheeler tells WW. “These units are expensive. [But] the good news is that the city is only making small contributions.” Others are alarmed by the price. “It’s fine for a private investment,” says Hardesty. “I do not think that it’s fine for

“I’M JUST CONCERNED WE GET DISTRACTED BY THE SHINY NEW OBJECT.” —JO ANN HARDESTY

lion will come from other government sources—Home Forward and the federal low-income housing tax credit program— and $1.5 million from private investment and other public grants. Not only does the project mark a reversal of Wheeler’s pre-inauguration position, but the Portland Housing Bureau also chose to ignore its own cost guide-

addressing the housing crisis.” The Housing Bureau defends the project for a number of reasons: the advantages of getting units built quickly, the prime location of the project at Northwest 10th Avenue and Glisan Street, and the dividends of the new CLT technology. “In addition to the many known benefits of pioneering cross-laminated

timber locally,” says Housing Bureau spokeswoman Martha Calhoon, “this new technology has the potential to innovate faster, more efficient affordable housing development in the future.” The timber industry believes crosslaminated timber will revive logging in Oregon, directly creating as many as 6,000 jobs in the state. Its backers also argue it’s a more efficient building material, greener than concrete and faster to build with. And cross-laminated timber buildings could be safer in earthquakes than those constructed of other materials. “Framework is a catalytic project which will serve as a national case study,” says Anyeley Hallova, a partner at Project^, the building ’s developer. “Equally important, Framework addresses social equity by providing…affordable housing in the Pearl District.” Along with the high price tag, Framework faces another problem—backers haven’t secured all the public funding needed to complete the project. When Home Forward asked the Portland Housing Bureau to contribute to the project, the Aug. 28 application shows it expected to collect $2 million from Gov. Kate Brown’s reserve fund. But Brown spokesman Bryan Hockaday tells WW no money will be available. “There’s no funding coming directly from the governor’s office,” says Hockaday. Home Forward spokesman Tim Collier acknowledges the application “overstated where we were at.” Meanwhile, the City Council hasn’t been given a chance to vote on the funding of Framework with city dollars. Instead, Wheeler acted alone. In response to criticism last summer of the sluggish pace of city-funded housing projects, Wheeler relaunched a program called Fast Starts, in which developers with shovel-ready projects could apply for funding. The City Council voted to approve the Fast Starts, but Wheeler has picked Framework as the first project. Yet Framework’s $2 million funding gap raises questions whether it’s really shovel-ready. So far, only one of Wheeler’s colleagues has publicly endorsed the expenditure. Commissioner Chloe Eudaly says the city’s small contribution makes Framework “a reasonable investment on our part.” The other commissioners didn’t comment by deadline or said they hadn’t decided.


M.O. STEVENS

Poor Rep

THE SHOW WILL GO ON: Artists Rep is selling surplus property but staying put in Goose Hollow.

STRUGGLING FOR SURVIVAL, THE CITY’S OLDEST MAJOR THEATER COMPANY IS PREPARING TO SELL PART OF ITS PROPERTY.

BY NIG E L JAQ UI SS

njaquiss@wweek.com

One of Portland’s most prominent arts organizations is in financial trouble. And its struggles could change the landscape of the city’s West End. Property and tax records show Artists Repertory Theatre, Portland’s oldest professional theater company, is about to bail itself out with the sale of half the full city block it owns in Goose Hollow. The 36-year-old nonprofit stretched mightily in 2004, paying $4.88 million for the property, which is located between Southwest Alder and Morrison streets and 15th and 16th Avenues. Now the land may provide the company a muchneeded life raft. The good news for theatergoers is that the transaction ART proposes should not affect future productions. The theater will stay where it is, though it may soon abut a 218-foot residential tower with 296 units and 206 parking spaces beneath ground-floor retail. The city of Portland is currently considering preliminary plans proposed by the would-be purchaser, Atlanta-based Wood Partners. The project, along with a separate proposal to redevelop the nearby site formerly occupied by The Oregonian’s printing press, would change the face of Goose Hollow, a Southwest neighborhood left largely untouched by the fast-paced redevelopment of much of downtown. Mike Barr, chairman of ART’s board of trustees, says board members made a prescient decision when they bought the land 15 years ago. “It’s been kind of struggle to make the mortgage payments,” he says, “but the equity we’ve built has been very positive.” ART has earned a reputation regionally and nationally for its ambition and creativity. Along with its larger peer, Portland Center Stage, the company is an anchor of the city’s theater scene. Records show, however, that ART, which has an annual budget of $3.8 million, has struggled

recently. It lost money each of the past four years, for a total of $1.3 million in red ink. Barr notes that other nonprofits, including the Oregon Symphony and the Oregon Ballet Theatre, which sold its Southeast Portland headquarters to a developer, have also faced lean years at the box office and a very competitive fundraising environment. But ART’s situation grew sufficiently dire last year that the Internal Revenue Service filed a lien against it Nov. 20 for $309,000 in unpaid payroll taxes. Even for struggling arts organizations, a lien of that size is unusual. When the lien was filed, ART had just inked a deal to sell half its property to Wood Partners. Terms of that sale, Barr says, are confidential, pending city approval of the proposed residential tower. (The organization has already taken steps to refinance existing debt on its property to pay the tax lien.) Barr says the sale would greatly strengthen ART’s finances. “Almost all arts organizations in the city have been under pressure,” he says. “We looked at ways to get more out of the building. One option was to sell and move, but that would just create another problem. Then this opportunity came in to develop half the block and fix the place up and pay some debt off.” Wood Partners, according to the company’s website, has developed 53,000 housing units across the country, including the recently completed 281-unit Block 17 in the Pearl District. The company declined to disclose the proposed price of the ART deal but hopes to break ground in late 2018. “While we are still in preliminary phases of this specific project, Wood Partners is committed to bringing distinctive housing development while preserving and enhancing the culture and communities where we grow,” said Michael Nagy, Wood Partners’ VP of development for the Pacific Northwest, in a statement. The proposed Wood Partners development would be subject to a new inclusionary zoning policy the City Council approved in 2016. That policy requires new projects larger than 20 units to set aside a percentage of units for lowincome housing. So one consequence of ART’s financial issues could be more affordable apartments near downtown. “This deal sounds like a win-win,” says Michael Andersen of the housing advocacy group Portland for Everyone. “It’s great to see the city’s inclusionary zoning policy paying off.” Willamette Week JANUARY 3, 2018 wweek.com

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G R A N T K R AT Z E R

BE STILL SURVIVE THE AGE OF ANXIETY WITH OUR 2018 HEALTH AND WELLNESS ISSUE. We’re living in the age of anxiety. We won’t repeat the reasons here. You know why—and if not, we can’t help you. You’re not alone. The most recent “Stress in America” study done by the American Psychological Association found that people are more stressed now than in any previously recorded year. Nearly two-thirds of Americans say the future of the nation is a very or somewhat significant source of stress, and that’s even higher for us in the Western U.S., where the figure is 70 percent. Existential dread about the failure of the American experiment is suddenly the biggest stressor in the country—more than money, work or health. Last year, we put together a health and wellness issue about preparing to fight through the Trumpocalypse. This year, we’ve dedicated the issue to R&R during that fight. Things will be fine. Or they won’t. Either way, you need to take care of yourself. This wellness issue is focused on how you can do just that, with the minimum amount of movement and effort. Your chillaxing regime could be as simple as buying some stylish new houseplants, which studies show make you happier and healthier (page 18). Or you could try sound healing, in which an “intuitive sound healer” uses gongs and bowls to induce a therapeutic slumber (page 16). Maybe the problem is your forever-blip-blooping smartphone, in which case you may want to consider ditching it for an old flip phone as one contributor did for her digital cleanse (page 14). Or you could try a new yoga practice like nidra, in which you lie as still as possible and use visualizations to enter a restful trance (page 15). If that all sounds a little too sober, you could do what one of our writers did, and what European monks do, and attempt to reach a state of peace and purpose through a fast in which you subsist only on beer for a full week (page 12). Then again, maybe you just need a new candle (page 20). Admittedly, some of these practices are of unverifiable benefit. But in an angry, anxious world that seems to have stopped making sense, we’ve all got to do what we can to find a moment of refreshing stillness. 

WE TRIED THE MONKS DIET

RETURN OF THE FLIP PHONE

P. 12

P. 14

THE YOGA OF SLEEP P. 1 5

LISTEN AND HEAL

HOUSEPLANTS FOR HEALTH

OUR FAVORITE WELLNESS GEAR

P. 1 6

P. 1 8

P. 2 0

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HEALTH AND WELLNESS

MY WEEK

OF

BY M ATT H E W KO R F H AGE

mkorfhage@wweek.com

I

t was supposed to be a spiritual experience. Instead, I felt like a bottle of beer left out overnight, and if friends were to be believed, I also smelled like one. I could taste my own breath so intensely it formed a pressure system in my throat— a miasma huddling against my tonsils. This shouldn’t be surprising. For the seven days leading up to Christmas Eve, I subsisted on nothing but beer. You are unlikely to find this diet recommended in the pages of Men’s Fitness, but there are nonetheless those who believe in it. It is propagated mostly on the sort of online beer forums where stout men debate the merits of pancake-flavored porter. Inspired in part by the 16thcentury Paulaner monks of Bavaria, who legendarily fasted during Lent by drinking nothing but doppelbock they brewed themselves, the diet enjoys a current small vogue that traces itself to a devoutly Christian Iowa man named Jay Wilson. In 2011, Wilson decided to follow in the monks’ footsteps, spending the 46 days before Easter drinking nothing but doppelbocks brewed specially for him at his local Rock Bottom Brewery. “I felt hunger for the first two days,” he wrote in a CNN blog documenting his experience. “My body then switched gears, replaced hunger with focus, and I found myself operating in a tunnel of clarity unlike anything I’d ever experienced.” Wilson claimed his purpose was entirely religious,

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though he also reported a loss of 25 pounds. Other beer bloggers followed suit with fewer religious scruples. These included Troy Rogers of Duluth, Minn., who in 2015 claimed a loss of 50 pounds in three months while on his own beer fast. “I love good beer,” he told beer site the Growler. “I thought to myself, ‘What if I do the opposite of what they tell you to do—I give up food and just drink beer?’” It all seemed too good to be true: weight loss and irresponsible indulgence together. Like CrossFit and juice cleanses, it is an affront to all moderation, less good health or discipline than a taunting dare to the human body. And like all good dares, it was impossible for me to resist. The first day, nonetheless, was terrifying. Food for me is a primary pleasure; a good meal is something I look forward to days in advance. Its absence threw my body’s internal reward system into something approaching panic. The primary quality of a beer diet, it turns out, is not drunkenness but hunger. It is less indulgence than an elementary math problem: How can you ingest enough substantive calories to live on, without also drinking yourself into sickness or debility? The ancient monks most likely drank beer made with inefficient yeast, resulting in a lowalcohol brew thickened with unfermented, malty

wort. Nothing like those beers exists today, when doppelbocks top 9 percent alcohol. And so I was left seeking a holy grail of high gravity, high calories and low alcohol. During the first day of my beer diet, a Sunday, I failed badly at this. I drank saison and sour beer from my home fridge before finally going out for a pint of higher-calorie milk stout. In all, I ingested maybe 900 calories, and was famished. I slept terribly, and on Monday morning, I was human garbage. If colleagues questioned even the smallest thing I did, my response was to question the relative merits of their entire human existence. “Wouldn’t you like to work from home this week?” my editor asked, somewhat hopefully. “If I suffer,” I responded, “you suffer.” The best solution, it turned out, was dessert stouts: chocolate stouts and peanut butter stouts and stouts made with unfermented milk sugar. Nutella stouts, even (see page 28). They are the opposite of anything I have ever wanted from beer, novelty brews for drinkers with the palates of children. But they also act as the sticky-mouthed beer equivalent of a dietary supplement, though in this case the supplement is not nutrients but simple sugars—an adult candy diet for the pre-diabetic. All week, I lived mostly on 22-ounce bottles of Samuel Smith chocolate stout. At only 5 percent alcohol, each bottle contains a whopping 400 calories and 4 grams of protein, oth-


BEER erwise in short supply in beer. It is delicious, in the way a chocolate protein shake can be delicious. And by chance it was on sale at New Seasons, reduced to $4.50 a bottle. The idea was to space out the beers by at least three hours over the course of the daytime so I was never more than a little impaired. With three Sam Smiths I could be assured of 1,200 calories, leaving me free to drink whatever beer I wanted after work as a treat. It was a perfect system, I thought—until at home, late Monday night, I broke down. I joylessly rammed a handful of stale, leftover Doritos into my mouth. Relief and guilt commingled, a sensation familiar to anyone raised Catholic. I am a terrible, terrible monk. Still, by Wednesday, I achieved a rhythm of sorts. I also came to accept low throbbing hunger as my lot in life. When other people ate doughnuts or hamburgers, I felt what house pets feel at dinner. What devout Wilson said about achieving spiritual clarity was, of course, a lie: I merely grew accustomed to being a lower-functioning human being. On Thursday, I could feel my synapses refusing to fire. In a fit of inspiration, I poured salt onto my palm and licked it like a tired horse in an effort to restore neurotransmitter function. Strangely, it worked. I incorporated a daily salt lick into my routine. By Friday, I noticed a strange, rotten-apple miasma lingering in my throat and worried it was a sign of ketoacidosis—a diabetic condition that can be induced

KORFHAGE’S COLLECTION OF BEER BOTTLES IN THE WW RECYCLING.

IT ALL SEEMED TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE: WEIGHT LOSS AND IRRESPONSIBLE INDULGENCE TOGETHER.

I LIVED ON NOTHING BUT BEER FOR A WEEK, AND SURVIVED.

by a combination of alcohol and malnutrition. The owner of the paper left me an angry email complaining that my beer bottles were attracting flies. Also, I realized I hadn’t had a bowel movement in three days. When it came, it was like squeezing oil paint out of a tube. I spent the next hour on the internet researching the Bristol stool scale, used to diagnose health from the consistency of your poop. It turned out there was no classification for what had just happened to me. I was, I became keenly aware, unhealthy. And yet by the time Sunday came, food felt less like relief than chore. My stomach had shrunk enough that eating was a slog—and a lunchtime pizza felt like foreign, somewhat disgusting excess. Self-abnegation is apparently self-perpetuating; I had a sudden and shallow understanding of the revulsion that ascetics often feel toward food. Aside from dropping half a belt loop, the main effect of my beer fast had been a renewed consciousness of just how compulsive most of my eating is—that I eat lunch because it is lunchtime whether or not I’m truly hungry, and that a large portion of my calories amount to a sort of primeval itch-scratching. I may even continue with some form of intermittent, beer-free fast—whether limited to specific times a day, or specific days a week. But only one resolution is guaranteed. I hope to go the rest of the year without ever hearing the words “chocolate stout.” 

G R A N T K R AT Z E R

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HEALTH AND WELLNESS

Dumb Is The New

Smart 7 MONTHS AGO, I TRADED MY SMARTPHONE FOR A BRICK PHONE. HERE’S WHAT HAPPENED.

It’s 6:30 pm on a gloomy Tuesday in midFebruary. My fellow riders and I sit in silence as the 4 bus crawls through downtown traffic. Our sullen faces scream exhaustion, even though the majority of us have been fixated on computer screens all day. My pocket buzzes and I instinctively pull out my phone. I open Instagram and immediately fall into the black hole of memes, dumb Tasty videos, wedding photos of my high school classmates, and paid promotions. Swipe. Tap. Scroll. Double tap. Zoom in. Zoom out. I’m shaken from my trance as the bus pulls up to my stop. It’s now 7:50 pm, and I haven’t looked up from my phone for more than an hour. I return to reality, sobered, and realize that everyone on the bus is also staring at tiny screens, completely oblivious to the world around them. Even without phones, most people wouldn’t strike up a casual conversation with their seatmate on the bus. But there was something distressing about seeing a mass of people in the same space completely transfixed by the small world inside their phone screens. I decided to make a change. I dumped my pocket computer and bought a burner phone. Specifically, a bricklike “ZTE Cymbal Z-320,” a knockoff Nokia with T9 that looks far shittier than the flip phone Kelly Rowland used to text Nelly in the “Dilemma” video. Now, seven months later, I know this was the right decision. I’m a 25-year-old who got her first dumb phone in seventh grade, a similar brick that I bedazzled with rhinestones and puff paint. My introduction to the smartphone world was my dad’s old BlackBerry. I remember being so amazed that the phone had a full keyboard. From then on, I was hooked on the efficiency and seemingly endless possibilities that these new phones had to offer. More disturbing than my growing fixation was the feeling that I began to rely on my iPhone as a social crutch, like a college kid who relies on Burnett’s and false confidence to get through a party. Any time I felt uncomfortable, bored or anxious, I would pull out my phone to soothe my troubled mind. At the DMV? Read the news. In line at the grocery store? Check my email. I couldn’t fathom tearing myself away from the blue light, and this feeling of reliance was wearing on me. 14

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ROSIE STRUVE

BY DERYN ISAAC

Now I pay $25 a month (!) for unlimited texting and calling with no data or internet. When I went to the MetroPCS store downtown to get it, the sales clerk looked at me like I had five heads. “Are you sure you don’t want data?” she asked. “I can make you a really great offer.” “Positive,” I responded. “OK, lady,” she replied with blatant suspicion, “whatever you want.” Her tone implied that she was worried for me, worried that I couldn’t maneuver through society without a device connecting me to the online world. Since I made the switch to a brick phone, I have felt refreshingly less connected. My memory has sharpened, as I am forced to rely on Mapquest for my driving directions—which is occasionally scary and gets me very lost. I have found that calling 411 comes in handy when I’m away from my computer and need a business’s phone number or address. Not to mention, the physical opening and closing of the phone creates a sensation of intentionally beginning and ending a conversation, which is kind of nice. (In case you’re wondering, the phone does not have Snake.) I’m not a total Luddite. I appreciate what technology has to offer. However, I no longer feel the intense urge to reach into my pocket and hit the unlock button out of force of habit. My general anxiety and FOMO levels have dramatically decreased because I have no way to watch Snapchat videos of my trendy acquaintances having seemingly inspiring times without me at a really average bar. I still keep in touch with my friends, colleagues and loved ones since I have Facebook, email and messaging. I just feel less hooked into the cycle of constant notification. Nowadays when I’m on the bus, I read, peoplewatch or just stare out the window. It’s a nice way to give my brain a break from the stimulus of the workday. Plus, you’d be pleasantly surprised how much weird, amazing stuff goes on around you once you look up. 


Night Night,

Sankalpa Tight WHAT I LEARNED FROM YOGA NIDRA, A MOVEMENT-FREE PRACTICE OF ENTERING A RESTFUL TRANCE. sgormley@wweek.com

When I first started practicing yoga nidra, my friends thought I had joined a cult. It wasn’t an absurd leap. Yoga nidra requires lying on your mat with your eyes closed while an instructor recites a script that’s meant to induce a deep, almost trancelike relaxation. It comprises several stages, including a body scan and visualization. A pilot class was offered at my college, and since it was the first class the instructor had taught, it was a closed course offered by invite only. We were told each stage would be introduced over several weeks, but we weren’t told what those stages would be. The unspecified “final stage” was what seemed so cultlike, and while it turned out not to be anything sinister, it was slightly bizarre, involving visualizing objects from nature like trees and puppies. Basically a highly structured guided meditation, yoga nidra is meant to bring you into a state of consciousness that’s similar to how you feel when you’re falling asleep. There are all kinds of unqualified claims about the benefits of practicing yoga nidra, such as a reduced need for sleep and enhanced creativity. At the beginning and end of class, you mentally repeat something called a sankalpa, which is a goal that you state as if you’d already achieved it. In his 1976 book on the subject, guru Satyananda Saraswati outlined yoga nidra as it’s practiced today, with a list of sankalpas that read like something out of The Secret: “I am successful in all that I undertake” and “I achieve total health.” I practice mediation just to get out of my own head, not really for spiritual reasons, so it all sounded a little esoteric. But it’s hard to deny that yoga nidra feels much deeper than sitting meditation. After class, I’d walk back to my dorm feeling like I had just woken up from the best nap of my life, with relaxed, focused energy and no grogginess. There’s a limited but growing body of research about yoga nidra’s benefits for soldiers who suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder. Partly inspired by Arianna Huffington’s book The Sleep Revolution, which extols the benefits of sleep for productivity, yoga nidra has become a fad in Silicon Valley. In Portland, there are no standing yoga nidra classes, but workshops pop up around the city with enough regularity that there’s usually at least a few

per month. North Portland Yoga and Mandala Yoga periodically host drop-in yoga nidra classes. Unfold on Southeast Division Street hosted a yoga nidra class on New Year’s Day, and the People’s Yoga on North Killingsworth Street is midway through a series that will continue into February. Last month, a Lake Oswego studio hosted a yoga nidra class that featured a live harpist. Yoga nidra has yet to experience the same widespread popularity as asana-based yoga or mindfulness-based stress reduction, perhaps out of a reluctance to commodify a practice many teachers and students view as deeply spiritual. But Portland yoga nidra instructor Kyla Ferguson says there’s another reason the practice is only beginning to catch on. “There’s a lot of value on really hard, sweaty vinyasa practice because it feels like you’re doing something for yourself and you’re sweating and maybe you’re burning calories,” says Ferguson, who teaches at Mandala Yoga on Southeast Belmont Street and recorded a short yoga nidra session for YouTube. “But there’s not as much of a cultural importance to accessing this kind of deep rest.” Ferguson learned about yoga nidra when she was training to become a yoga teacher. At the time, she had also been dealing with burnout from her job as a social worker. Yoga nidra didn’t erase all her job stress, but it helped enough that when she decided to get her master’s in social work at Smith College, she conducted a study on the practice for her thesis. “Yoga can make the stressful things in my life more sustainable,” she says. “I found that yoga nidra is a really incredible tool, so I wanted to study it in a scientific way.” For the study, 11 employees of a mental health clinic in Seattle participated in a 20-minute yoga nidra class in the middle of their workday, led by Ferguson in an office conference room. She held one class a week for six weeks, recording the perceived stress level of each participant (as determined by a standard clinical questionnaire) before and after class. Though it was a small study, the results were clear. At the end of the course, the average reported stress level had decreased by more than 50 percent, and participants reported a decrease in work-induced fatigue. “It definitely accesses a piece of rest that I think most of us in our daily lives and in our sleep cycles don’t access, even if we get a lot of sleep,” Ferguson says.

G R A N T K R AT Z E R

BY S H A N N O N G O R MLEY

“DREAMING IS IMPORTANT, AND SLEEPING IS IMPORTANT, BUT THE YOGIS WOULD JUST SAY THERE’S MORE. THERE ARE DEEPER PLACES TO GO WITH YOUR CONSIOUSNESS.” —KYLA FERGUSON

Sleep doesn’t exactly feel restful if you’re plagued by stress dreams or wake up in the middle of the night with your thoughts racing. In yoga nidra, you’re just conscious enough to let go of your thoughts. And since it’s so structured and rhythmic, it’s harder for thoughts to come up in the first place. Ferguson emphasizes that yoga nidra isn’t a magic cure for stress, or a replacement for actual sleep. “We inevitably live in a fast-paced, taxing kind of culture,” she says, “so finding ways to continually come back and rest are really important, and it’s not always that easy. Sometimes there are just a lot of demands. It ebbs and flows in terms of how I’m able to use it and whether or not I feel like I need it.” Still, Ferguson expresses a kind of unease about evaluating her practice in purely pragmatic, results-based terms. “Dreaming is important, and sleeping is important,” she says, “but the yogis would just say there’s more. There are deeper places to go with our consciousness.”  Willamette Week JANUARY 3, 2018 wweek.com

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THOMAS TEAL

HEALTH AND WELLNESS

The

g n o G Show SOUND HEALING Y IS A DEEPER WA TO MEDITATE. BY MATTHEW SIN GER msinger@wweek.com

On the night of the recent winter solstice, a group of two-dozen adults paid $25 each to take a nap in a yoga studio. At l e a s t , t h a t ’s h o w i t appears from the outside. Ask Nicole Alcyon, who’s leading this sound-healing session at Awakenings Wellness Center in Southeast Portland, and she’ll explain there’s something much deeper going on. Still, what it looks like is a New Age slumber party. The mostly middle-aged attendees are sprawled on the floor, some prone, others propped up on back rests. Most are wrapped in blankets. For the next 90 minutes, Alcyon—a wispy brunette with the gentle disposition of a kindergarten teacher—performs what is essentially an intimate ambient music concert. Alcyon begins by pacing the room. While her partner, Tom, thumps a small hand drum,

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“IT’S HARMONIZING THE BODY WITH THE MIND, WITH THE SPIRIT. IN THAT WAY... IT BRINGS THE BALANCE OF HARMONY INTO ALIGNMENT.” —NICOLE ALCYON

she lightly bashes a small gong in each person’s face, letting the vibrations run across their bodies. Next are the tuning forks, which sound like a blissful drop of tinnitus being placed straight in your ear. She follows by playing a larger gong, sending out low, shimmering reverberations that almost seem to ring with feedback. And then, the singing bowls. Kneeling among 13 frosted-glass bowls of varying sizes, she taps the rims in a pattern that appears improvised but eventually forms a chiming, identifiable melody. By the time she finishes, a chorus of heavy breathing and full-on snoring cuts through the stillness of the room. It’s precisely the response Alcyon is hoping for. In her pre-session spiel, she says the goal for the evening is to leave the assembled group feeling like bears awakening from hibernation. She also says some other things that, for the less spiritually enlightened, probably sound a bit out-there—stuff about “hypno-chakra therapy” and the “Solfeggio scale” and the significance of the 3-6-9 pattern. At its core, though, the concept of sound healing is simple enough for even a granola-phobe to grasp.


New Year Health and Wellness Goals? “To get very basic, in layman terms, the frequencies just promote a deep sense of relaxation,” says Alcyon, who describes herself as “a certified hypnotherapist, intuitive sound healer, and angel therapy practitioner.” “When we can relax, and our bodies can rest, it allows for healing. Sleep can be very healing. As we are in this state of deep relaxation, it allows for us to enter into this greater healing state, where our body has that ability and that space to do its own natural healing and balancing.” When she moved to Portland from Los Angeles a decade ago, Alcyon was, as far as she knew, the only practitioner of sound healing in town. In the past few years, she says, the practice has steadily grown in popularity. A quick Google search shows you almost can’t run a wellness center or acupuncture clinic without offering some form of sound healing. Alcyon runs her own practice, Triniti Healing, out of Awakenings, and holds these “meet-ups” about every two weeks. It always draws a crowd. In an increasingly stressful world, sound healing is on the verge of joining yoga and meditation in mainstream consciousness. It’s not just about achieving a deeper state of sleep, either. As Alcyon explains it, it has to do with accessing the brain waves associated with relaxation through soothing tones and rhythms, and using specific frequencies that are thought to “clear out” dissonant or discordant energy. In effect, it’s much like meditation, except instead of regulated breathing, the path to betterment is guided by sound. “In meditation, there’s usually some guidance to focus on your breath or focus on your own thoughts, and this just allows people to go deeper,” she says. “They have something outside of them, and that something outside of them is deeply relaxing. It naturally takes them into a deep meditative state they wouldn’t naturally go in if they were just closing their eyes and taking deep breaths.” At the solstice meet-up, a silver-haired suburban dad named David—who’s quick to point out he’s “not as crunchy” as some of the other people in attendance—puts it another way. When a certain frequency hits a chakra—one of the seven points of energy that Buddhists believe run through the human body—he swears he can feel if it’s out of balance. As the session goes on, he can also feel the realignment happening. He says it’s not unlike seeing a chiropractor, only for the spirit rather than the physical body. Alcyon agrees with the comparison. “It’s bringing your energetic field into alignment,” she says. “It’s harmonizing the body with the mind, with the spirit. In that way, it can be very much like a chiropractic session. It brings the balance of harmony into alignment, and that’s ultimately what people receive from these sessions.” Alcyon mostly attributes the growing acceptance of sound healing to media exposure (Dr. Oz has done segments on it) and the general way information spreads in the digital age. But she also agrees that, at a time of widespread anxiety, any form of relief starts to look appealing. “More and more people are waking up to, ‘ What is this world all about?’ And I think, because of all the stress, we begin questioning, ‘Am I living meaningfully?’” she says. “And I think as people seek out meaning in life, and what’s going to fulfill them, this somehow gets into their sphere of reality. Because it is a deeper way to meditate, and it’s a way to achieve greater balance and clarity within really easily.” 

We will inspire and support you. NEW YEAR'S SPECIAL : One month of unlimited yoga for $79 offer ends 1/31/18

2305 SE 50th Ave., Portland • info@yogaunioncwc.com • 503-235-YOGA (9642)

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#wweek

HEALTH AND WELLNESS

the

T E E R ST

NEW LEAF SUCCULENTS ARE OLD AND BUSTED. AROIDS ARE THE NEW HOTNESS. BY MA RTIN CIZ MA R

mcizmar@wweek.com

Remember succulents? Not so long ago, cacti and their cousins were the hottest houseplants, with terrariums and Tillandsia xerographica serving as markers of sophistication and good taste. Tastemasters have quietly moved on to a diverse family of tropical plants called aroids, according to Jesse Waldman of Pistils Nursery on North Mississippi Avenue. “For whatever reason, people are super into aroids right now,” Waldman says. “They’re just really cool plants. They tend to have really interesting foliage, and they grow really well indoors. There’s this aroid cult right now.” There are a few reasons this is good news for Portlanders. First, because while succulents thrive when bathed in sunlight, aroids naturally grow under dense forest canopy, meaning they’re built to suck up diffuse ambient light. “Plenty of people love succulents, but just given our environment in Portland and the fact that we don’t get great light most of the year, they’re not going to thrive the way they do in Southern California, unless you happen to be one of those lucky people who happen to have big, southern-facing windows,” he says. Second, aroids have scientifically proven health benefits. Specifically, they clean the air, sucking up the toxins off-gassed by synthetic textiles and appliances while pumping out oxygen. So these plants grow well in Portland, clean the air and are super-cool—what’s the catch? Well, the aroids you find at an average garden store are, shall 18

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HOT TROPICS: Leafy aroids are both beneficial and cool.

we say, classic. Think: The potters your grandma had in her kitchen, next to the plate with a bunny rabbit baker in an apron. This is where a little expert advice comes in handy. Because while the most familiar forms of these plants are a little old-fashioned, they come from families with many subspecies that look G R A N T K R AT Z E R very different and really cool. “Most of the research is on the ones you see everywhere. As far as scientifically proven health benefits, the science maybe hasn’t caught up to the trends,” Waldman says. “But there are plants that are part of the same families that you would expect would have similar characteristics as far as the health benefits go.” And those health benefits are notable—even when you’re talking about a now-out-of-style succulent. “There are studies that show that having plants around improves your mood, improves your focus, just makes you happy,” Waldman says. “Part of our humanity is that connection with things that are green, connection to nature. So just having them around is super-beneficial for your mood.” Here are six uptrending houseplants that can better your being with almost no effort, including the common versions and slightly hipper variants. SANS EV I E RI A You probably know this as the snake plant, which is found everywhere up to and including mall food courts and is prized for its ability to suck up toxins and pump out oxygen. “There’s a study that you can probably find that NASA did a couple years ago, and this plant in particular was shown to absorb formaldehyde and all sorts of other chemicals that are put off in the air by the appliances,” Waldman says. “It also releases a ton of oxygen, specifically at night. So it’s good to have in the bedroom.” What you may not know is that the familiar snake plant has lots of cool cousins, some with dark purple leaves and even some, like the cylindrica, with tubular leaves.

The variations between species are not as pronounced as others, as all spider plants have green and white stripes.

“THERE ARE STUDIES THAT SHOW THAT HAVING PLANTS AROUND IMPROVES YOUR MOOD, IMPROVES YOUR FOCUS, JUST MAKES YOU HAPPY.” —JESSE WALDMAN

“Years ago we would barely carry that plant. It was something that you’d see commonly, but then we got into the kind of stranger ones,” he says. “Some of them you wouldn’t even necessarily know were sansevieria because they look so different.” POT H OS The pothos is native to the isolated island chain that includes Tahiti. In tropical lands where it’s not native, its tenacity makes it a feared invasive species. In Portland, it’s just hardy enough to survive for weeks without being watered. The golden pothos is “the classic one you see creeping around your grandmother’s kitchen.” But there are also a number of variations, like the satin pothos, Waldman says. “It’s similarly easy to care for, and it has that really cool matte leaf texture with those silvery speckles that people really seem to like.” SPIDER PLANT The spider plant, likewise, cleans the air and increases humidity. “It’s having a bit of a renaissance—people are asking for them a lot,” Waldman says. “I think why people like it is that it produces all those offshoots that you can clip off and give to your friends.”

PHILODENDRON These plants are prized for their big, leafy foliage and are typically seen in large planters in the corner of a room. But it’s a huge family with species spread across the Caribbean and South America, and so large that many varieties still haven’t been described. The trick with these is to find a plant that’s climbing— or to put yours on a stake. “Philodendron actually means ‘tree lover.’ So a lot of them are climbers. They climb around to get that light until they reach to the tops of the trees,” Waldman says. “Climbing triggers something in the plant: ‘Hey, I’m on a tree, getting what I need!’ So it starts getting bigger more interesting foliage.” MONSTERA DELICIOSA This one doesn’t have the scientifically proven health benefits of the others on this list, but Waldman sees benefits in monstera, which is “kind of in its biggest moment” given that it “just screams tropical” thanks to big, beautiful leaves with lots of interesting holes and splits. “Plants absorb sound,” Waldman says. “They’re actually going to reduce the background noise in your house. So that’s another subtle way that having plants in your space is going to make it more comfortable and more habitable. Obviously having bare walls that are reflective are going to create an echoey, uncomfortable feel.” LACE ALOE (ALOE ARISTATA) OK, so this one is a succulent. Aloe has long been a staple of the kitchen window shelf because the gel soothes and moisturizes skin. Aloe vera plants vary widely in appearance, including the super-on-trend variegated version. But if you want to up your game, check out Aloe aristata, which is bristly and often has richer green colors. “One of the growers of that one says he prefers the gel of that one to aloe vera,” Waldman says.  Willamette Week JANUARY 3, 2018 wweek.com

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HEALTH AND WELLNESS

l l e W

NESS L L E W E ORIT V A W. F O 8 N R T H OU G TS RI C U D O R P

PE RF EC T H A R MON Y LAV E N D ER E UCA LYPTU S CA N D LE $19, from mollymuriel.com or New Seasons Market. The holidays are over and most of us are still reeling from overindulgence. To avoid receding into a state of apathy and loneliness, just burn a healing candle and appreciate the fact that you won’t have to hear some terrible pop-country Christmas tune for 10 or 11 months. The Perfect Harmony Candle is locally made by artist Brenda Tiffany at her Milwaukie apothecary, Molly Muriel. The candle blends lavender and eucalyptus aromas, which provide tranquility and mental focus. Made with natural ingredients, the candle is also vegan. MICHELLE DEVONA. ROS E Q UA R TZ FAC IA L R OLLE R BY HE RBI VOR E $45, from herbivorebotanicals.com. Beauty regimens can be the closest you get to meditation time. Maximize your zen time in the mirror with this crystal facial roller, an ancient tradition that improves blood circulation and promotes lymphatic drainage. The cool stone—it gets even cooler and more effective when you leave it in the fridge—brings down any puffiness around the eyes or inflamed blemishes, and the rolling motion massages skin to stimulate collagen production and even skin tone. Make it a habit and it could ease sinus issues and delay wrinkles as well, all with the open-hearted positivity that makes rose quartz a healing gemstone. LAUREN TERRY.

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SO UL SH I NE $25 for 2 ounces, from the Herb Shoppe, 3912 N Mississippi Ave., 971-703-4347, theherbshoppepdx.com. Name an ailment, and there’s a traditional herbal remedy for it. At Mississippi’s Herb Shoppe, it’s common to hear people complain of anxiety, lack of energy or both. The Shoppe diagnoses this as an imbalance in the adrenal glands, which can be helped by adaptogenic herbs. And so it has developed house herb blends to help, including Soul Shine. Soul Shine employs a blend of herbs that include Siberian ginseng, rhodiola, holy basil and lemon balm, and is designed to balance your cortisol and adrenaline. It’s available as a tincture or a tea. MARTIN CIZMAR. SE L EC T STRA I NS C BD $45, from local dispensaries or selectcbd.com. Nifty low-dose disposable vapes first caught our eye about two years ago. Finally, Select made a version for when you need a microdose of chill. Just suck air and these buttonless teal tubes instantly bake up a little soothing CBD vapor. They come in three types, based on the other essential oils added to each: lavender-flavored Relax, minty Focus and citrusy Revive. The Focus is great on midday coffee breaks. MARTIN CIZMAR. G O F I T PRO F OA M MASSAG E RO L L E R $30, from REI. Achy quadriceps? Sore hip flexors? The best remedy for muscle pain is a massage and maybe a week in Hawaii. But for $30, you’ll feel better after spending time with this foam roller, which magically breaks up fibrous tissue, increases circulation and reduces stiffness. It’s called self-myofascial release—or tenderizing your own muscles, and all it requires is a floor with a bit of room to roll. This soft-foam version is great for beginners, but after a while you may want to move on to harder foam for a more intense session. MARK ZUSMAN.

STREAMAB LE B ARRE3 CLASSES $29 for one month, $162 for six months, $300 for a year, from barre3.com. Do you work odd hours or have another reason you can’t make it to the gym? Now you can experience Portland’s yoga-centric fitness studio Barre3 anytime and anywhere with an online membership. Barre3 posts hundreds of full-body workouts in its signature lowimpact style. The professional videos show instructors and students demonstrating the movements, and you can sort and filter them according to what you’re looking for and what gear you have available. Got 40 minutes to spare? Whip out your yoga mat for a fullbody workout like the squat-oriented Power Plus Grace routine. For beginners starting from scratch, there are detailed tutorials on each posture and movement. New workouts are posted weekly, and membership includes access to a growing collection of recipes and workout plans if you’re setting a more significant health goal. The best part is that you get to choose your own studio music for every class. LAUREN TERRY. OREGON’S WILD HARVEST STRESS GUARD $22.99 for 90 capsules, from New Seasons and other stores. A friend of mine, prone to all sorts of anxiety and deeply attuned to every possible chemical or organic solution, swears by these capsules as an aid to stress relief—though one should note their effects have not been certified by anything resembling an FDA study. “It’s a combo of quality, well-known, anti-stress stuff,” he says. “Theanine stimulates [‘downer’ neurotransmitter] GABA production, which in turn helps with


p U serotonin. Most people are deficient in B vitamins, particularly if they’re stressed—their natural function is to help deal with stress-related factors, among other things. Ashwagandha [root] is an adaptogen—in this case it acts as a cortisol regulator/balancer. All of those things should be returning you to a baseline, away from the stress effects.” MATTHEW KORFHAGE.

AL LO M N CO O L M I ST S MA R T H UMI DI F I E R A N D D IF F U S ER $37.99, from Amazon.com. Now that winter is here, those lucky enough to live in a home with a furnace have to face the severe downside of central heating—that intermittent torrent of dry, dusty air. The morning after you fire up the furnace the first time is brutal on the sinuses, yet the idea of using a humidifier seems odd given that the winter air in Portland often feels like a wet blanket. Do it anyway. The morning after firing up this aesthetically pleasing, pint-sized bamboo diffuser was a vacation for my dry and crusty nasal cavities. Add in voice control via Amazon’s Alexa and a pleasing spectrum of soft light emanating from the lid and you’ve got a replacement for both your night light and that greasy jar of Vicks VapoRub you’ve had in your medicine cabinet since the Clinton administration. Now if only they could get this thing to play Enya’s greatest hits. PETE COTTELL.

Willamette Week JANUARY 3, 2018 wweek.com

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street

(Left) “I go to Löyly Finnish Spa.” (Right) I’m from New York, and I spin! I do the Rock Rides, which is basically listening to classic rock while spinning.”

“I go shopping! Preferably at Nordstrom.” S

D WELLNES

HEALTH AN

Photos by Sam Gehrke

“Cleaning my room. Organization is key.”

@samgehrkephotography

what do you do for self care?

(Left) “I put music on, and after 5 pm get a drink!” (Right) “Kundalini Yoga, and same as her—a drink after 5 pm.”

our favorite looks this week.

“For me, it’s doing face masks and my skin-care regimen while blasting music. Also, shopping!”

“Drinking cheap beer and listening to records. Also this reminds me, I need to schedule a therapy appointment.”

(Left) “Spending time with my best friend (pointing to her)” (Right) “Not gonna lie, drinking. Haha!”

Willamette Week’s BEER Magazine 2017 Free

R

por

tla

nd

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ide

ery ew br and. l ry eve port hem . to t f nt r o 6 of 1 ou we 1 h e w an all hin wit

Our annual guide to beer in Portland is back! As our local beer scene continues to expand and change, we’ll follow the evolving taste the industry is offering our community. From our top 10 beers to best breweries and bars in town, this guide will arm our readers with the information they need explore this city’s beer scene.

Publishes: Feb. 28, 2018 503.243.2122 • advertising@wweek.com

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Willamette Week JANUARY 3, 2018 wweek.com

“Just breathing, and spending time alone with my thoughts.”


THE BUMP  STYLE

Portland Boutique Bingo BY WA LKER MACMU R DO

wmacmurdo@wweek.com

Want a fun game that’ll also help you understand the state of Portland’s fashion scene? The next time you’re out shopping with your friends, cut out this bingo sheet and check off each box as you come across the item in it. The first person to complete a row wins a date with their choice of a part-time skateboard videographer/full-time Jimmy John’s employee or a vegan, gluten-free cokehead.

B

I

N Short-roll beanie

All-white interior

G

O

Single rack of vintage for some reason

Geometric weed-smoking accessories

Cool mom

Weirdly big pants Guy with buzz cut

Cuffed jeans

Some Danish brand no one’s ever heard of

Banana Republic/GAP/ J.Crew at vintage shop

Loud teens

Expensive accessory at 80% markdown

Genderless garments

Vintage band T-shirt costing more than $80

Free Space

Woman wearing serial-killer glasses

“I used to live in New York”

Ceramics

Minimalist jewelry

Stutterheim rain jacket

Soundcloud rap

Black-and-white Vans, old skool

Graphic tee with woke slogan

Crystals

I L L U S T R AT I O N S B Y T Y L E R A L E X A N D E R

Rick Owens/ Avantgarde menswear guy

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Willamette Week JANUARY 3, 2017 wweek.com

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STARTERS

B I T E - S I Z E D P O R T L A N D C U LT U R E N E W S

THOMAS TEAL

 Our Mistakes and Regrets from 2017  CULTURE EDITOR MARTIN CIZMAR: Made a mistake by not going to Heart Coffee during his audiophile tour of Portland cafes, as it’s actually owned by an audiophile and would have won. He regrets his habit of casually saying certain things he doesn’t like should “burn to the ground” and possibly summoning wrathful spirits. His main regrets are the things he didn’t do, such as going to see what turned out to be Ralph Carney’s final show at the O’Neill Public House last month, seeing Astoria Part I even after reading the book, and going to former Portlander Sean Tejaratchi’s reading at Powell’s to confront him about drawing logos for white supremacist podcasts. MUSIC EDITOR MATTHEW SINGER:

Made a mistake ranking 311’s self-titled album above FATHER JOHN Grassroots in his definitive MIISTY ranking of every 311 album. Upon reflection, it was clearly the wrong decision. He regrets tweeting that he was “starting to come around” to Father John Misty while watching him perform at MusicfestNW presents Project Pabst. He doesn’t know what came over him. Also, he regrets not reviewing your album or going to your show. He totally wanted to, but he’s old and washed and just wants to stay home with his fiancé and cat and watch cooking shows, and you’re just gonna have to get used to it.

W W S TA F F

STAGE & SCREEN EDITOR SHANNON GORMLEY: Regrets not covering three solo

shows by Portland artists that opened in the same weekend: Pepper Pepper’s Diva Practice, Jay Flewelling’s Please Underestimate Me and Aaron Ross’ Al Gore Memorial High School. She regrets not going to see more art in general, but particularly SZA, Haim and the art show Stolen Angels at Williamson|Knight gallery. She also regrets assuming that no writer would want to travel all the way to Seattle just for a press screening of the new Star Wars, and acknowledges that it was an absurd underestimation of Star Wars fandom. She’s a part of the Harry Potter generation and doesn’t really get why people are so into that, either.

ECO FIRMA

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Willamette Week JANUARY 3, 2018 wweek.com

PROJECTS EDITOR MATTHEW KORFHAGE:

Made maybe the most flagrant mistake of his writing career after repeatedly mishearing the word “veg room” as “bedroom” in a phone interview with Eco Firma Farms—a Fawlty Towers-caliber error that gave readers the deeply mistaken impression its owner slept at his cannabis grow facility. He does not. He grows plants there. Korfhage also regrets reporting on the visa status of a Portland taqueria chef who would rather the issue had remained private—but is appreciative of those in the restaurant community who reached out trying to help. He also regrets not including local roaster Nossa Familia, the coffee we drink at our office each morning, in a blind cold-brew taste test conducted this year. Oh, and he regrets not following up on a vague invitation to hang out with Jay Z.


W E D N E S D AY

1/3

RITCHIE YOUNG & THE DEAD LOVERS

LABYRINTH IN THE FIELD: AVANT-GARDE SHORTS

A couple years ago, local indie-folk favorites Loch Lomond went on a reduced touring schedule, which was good news for Portland, because it meant frontman Ritchie Young can do stuff like this and hang out at Al’s Den for a week covering Magnetic Fields’ melancholy classic 69 Love Songs. Al’s Den at Crystal Hotel, 303 SW 12th Ave., 503-9722670. 7 pm. Free. 21+. Nightly through Jan. 6.

There’s no better introduction to Church of Film, one of Portland’s weirdest movie nights, than a screening of avant-garde shorts. This time, the often surreal and always striking movies are mostly from 1960s Japan. Clinton Street Theater, 2522 SE Clinton St., cstpdx.com. 8 pm. $5-$6 suggested donation.

1/4

T H U R S D AY

TREKNOLOGY: THE SCIENCE OF STAR TREK Once every few years, a book like this one from Ethan Siegel is published, explaining the possibility of making warp drives and antimatter and cloaking devices according to the ever-advancing understandings of modern science. Every single time, it’s fun. The future is fun. Powell’s at Cedar Hills Crossing. 3415 SW Cedar Hills Blvd, Beaverton, powells. com. 7 pm. Free.

1/5

ALMA HAPPY HOUR WITH JASMINE PEARL F R I D AY

BRAHMS VS. RADIOHEAD The events marking the 20th anniversary of Radiohead’s landmark OK Computer didn’t end when the calendar flipped over. This should be pretty amazing, though—not only will the Oregon Symphony perform tracks from the alt-rock masterpiece, they’ll blend them with pieces of composer Johannes Brahms’ epic First Symphony. The Schnitz, 1037 SW Broadway, 503-2484335, portland5.com/arlene-schnitzer-concerthall. 7:30 pm. $25 and up. All ages.

Get Busy

As every first Friday of the month, Alma Chocolate hosts free chocolate, free cheese from Ancient Heritage—who make very good cheese—and free something from another local maker. This time it’s Jasmine Pearl Tea, which means this should be a very relaxing Friday evening. Alma Chocolate, 40 NE 28th Ave., 503-5170262, almachocolate.com.

BIG BOI

E V E NT S W E ' R E E XC ITE D A B O UT

JAN UARY 3 -9

A TRIBUTE TO FRED COLE

Losing Dead Moon frontman Fred Cole was a tough hit for the Portland music scene. This night’s show is a tribute to the breadth of his influence, with power-pop legends the Thermals, plus throwback country act Jenny Don't and the Spurs and pure punkers the Ransom and P.R.O.B.L.E.M.S. Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W. Burnside St., 503225-0047, crystalballroompdx.com. 9 pm. $8 advance, $10 day of show. 21+.

S AT U R D AY

1/6

HELP THE HOOPLE

THE NUTCRACKER CRACKED

In November, musician-about-town Scott McCaughey suffered a serious stroke. He’s got a long road to recovery, but his list of friends and fans is even longer. Tonight, the Decemberists, James Mercer and a makeshift band featuring members of Sleater-Kinney and R.E.M. come together to help raise money for his medical expenses. Wonder Ballroom, 128 NE Russell St., 503-284-8686, wonderballroom.com. 7 pm. $50. 21+.

Christmas is done, and so is the ballet version of this Christmas tradition. On to the crib note version: The puppet museum will host a 38-minute supercut of the Balanchine ballet with a cast of 84 rod puppets—a wild and fucked ballet circus for the ADHD-impaired. Portland Puppet Museum, 906 SE Umatilla St., puppetmuseum.com. 8 pm. $8.

1/7

EMILY WELLS

BLADE RUNNER

S U N D AY

Emily Wells is one of the most interesting musicians working today. She composes beautiful, rich pop songs using samples and loops inspired by both hip-hop and 18th century chamber music. On this year’s In the Hot EP, her voice haunts each track like a century-old curse. Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside St., 503-231-9663, dougfirlounge. com. 8 pm. $14 advance, $16 day of show. 21+.

Fuck. Yes. It’s been several months since the sequel was released, but a theater in Portland is finally screening the Final Cut of Ridley Scott’s cyberpunk masterpiece. Academy is also screening Blade Runner 2049, so if you’re really hardcore, you could spend five hours immersed in grimmy futurism for a mere $8. Academy Theater, 7818 SE Stark St., academytheaterpdx.com. Various times, Jan. 5-11. $4.

M O N D AY

1/8

BIG BOI

INDONESIAN SEAFOOD DINNER

As one half of OutKast, Big Boi has been cooler than a polar bear’s toenails for two decades. His 2017 solo album, Boomiverse, blends his unique pop sensibilities with his ATLien pimpisms and proves that neither trends nor age can dethrone the King of the South. Wonder Ballroom, 128 NE Russell St., 503-284-8686, wonderballroom.com. 8 pm. $30 advance, $35 day of show. All ages.

Chef Rita Herni will cook up a five-course meal with the foods of Jimbaran, the seafood capital of her native Indonesia. Expect shrimp and squid salad appetizer, grilled seafood in Indonesian spices and stir-fried water spinach. Feastly, 912 SE Hawthorne Blvd. 6 pm. $70. Tickets at eatfeastly.com.

T U E S D AY

1/9

PETE SOUZA

CHUPARROSA

You know all those photos that made you feel that your president was a real human being possessed of decency and humility and grace, who loved his wife and was compassionate to children? It feels so long ago since we’ve had a president like that. Anyway, Pete Souza took those photos, and he’s here to talk about it. Revolution Hall, 1300 SE Stark St. #110, powells.com/events. 7:30 pm. Sold out.

Chef Héctor Guerrero from Mexico City will be taking over the kitchen at Mt. Tabor Roastery to serve up the flavors of the Yucatán. Specifically, expect 3-for-$10 plates of panuchos, essentially bean-stuffed refried tortillas topped with either cheesypoblano rajas con queso or the region’s famous cochinita pibil pork dish. Mt. Tabor Roastery, 6922 NE Glisan St., chuparrosa. com. Order in advance for large orders. Willamette Week JANUARY 3, 2018 wweek.com

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= WW Pick. Highly recommended. By MATTHEW KORFHAGE. Editor: MARTIN CIZMAR. Email: dish@wweek.com. See page 3 for submission instructions.

CHRISTINE DONG

WWEEK.COM

FOOD & DRINK

FRIDAY, JAN. 5 Alma Happy Hour with Jasmine Pearl

As every first Friday of the month, Alma Chocolate hosts free chocolate, free cheese from Ancient Heritage—who make very good cheese—and free something from another local maker. This time it’s Jasmine Pearl Tea, which means this should be a very relaxing Friday evening. Alma Chocolate, 40 NE 28th Ave., 503-517-0262, almachocolate.com.

Bow & Arrow Tasting

Portland urban winery Bow & Arrow has been having a great few years, and at Pairings wine shop you’ll get the chance to try five of their wines for a mere $5—from a mineral-forward Melon de Bourgogne grown at Johan Vineyards to their beautifully bright gamay and a super-juicy pinot-gamay blend called Rhinestones. Winemaker Scott Frank will be on hand to tell you everything about the wines. Pairings, 455 NE 24th Avenue, 541-531-7653, pairingsportland.com.

SATURDAY, JAN. 6 Winter Farmers Mercado

Every Sunday through March at the Portland Mercado, take the farmers market indoors while sampling wares from the in-house butchery and the eight food carts. In addition to winter crops, expect live music, food demonstrations and stuff from assorted local makers. Portland Mercado, 7238 SE Foster Rd., 503-477-9945, portlandmercado.org.

BOTTLE ROCKET

TOP 5

HOT PLATES

1. 2.

Where to eat this week.

Stoopid Burger

2329 NE Glisan St., 503-477-5779, pdxstoopidburger.com. $-$$. If you haven’t figured it out yet, Stoopid Burger is now the best damn burger in Kerns, instead of being the best damn burger in North Portland.

Departure

525 SW Morrison St., 503-802-5370, departureportland.com. $$$. The excellent seven-spice Peking duck is departing, but if you’re out late downtown, check in for a cocktail and one of the insanely good sweets. Departure’s caramel apple custard cake might be one of our favorite new desserts we’ve tried this year. Sooo much apple. So much.

3.

Bark City BBQ

4.

Kingsland Kitchen

5.

Bottle Rocket

1331 N Killingsworth St., 971-227-9707, barkcitybbq.com. $$. There’s some seriously good new ’cue in town: Split a pit master platter for some seriously good pulled pork and ribs, plus a banana pudding milkshake studded with Nilla wafer and garnished with a crème brûlée banana. 301 SW Pine St., 971-300-3118, kingslandkitchen.com. $. Kingsland is devoted to one of the world’s underrated comforts: the bean, pork and toast-happy experience of a good English breakfast, served to patrons on plush seats made of near-distressingly soft cowhide. 1207 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 971-279-4663. $. Club 21’s burger chef is back at this cart serving up great oldschool burgers, with a side of new-school fish sauce tots or flash-fried Brussels sprouts.

MONDAY, JAN. 8 Indonesian Seafood Dinner

Chef Rita Herni will cook up a five-course meal with the foods of Jimbaran, the seafood capital of her native Indonesia. Expect shrimp-and-squid salad appetizer, grilled seafood in Indonesian spices and stir-fried water spinach. Feastly, 912 SE Hawthorne Blvd. 6 pm. $70. Tickets at eatfeastly.com.

TUESDAY, JAN. 9 Chuparossa

Chef Héctor Guerrero from Mexico City will be taking over the kitchen at Mt. Tabor Roastery to serve up the flavors of Yucatán. Specifically, expect 3-for-$10 plates of panuchos, essentially bean-stuffed refried tortillas topped with either cheesy-poblano rajas con queso or the region’s famous cochinita pibil pork dish. Mt. Tabor Roastery, 6922 NE Glisan St., chuparossa. com. Order in advance for large orders.

Blend Your Own Coffee Stout

At the Upper Lip, above Bailey’s, do the brewers one better and mix-and-match your own coldbrew coffee stout. Both Ex Novo and Perennial will be on hand with Imperial stout, oatmeal stout and even a barleywine—which you can personally mix to taste with Sump Kyoto-style coffee and Case Study coffee, testing the results against the breweries’ own coffee creations. Imperial Restaurant will offer up pastries to match. 720 SW Ankeny St., 503-295-1004, theupperlip.net.

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Willamette Week JANUARY 3, 2018 wweek.com

DRANK

Nutella Porter (BREAKSIDE) You wouldn’t think a little sugar would be so controversial. In the past three years, so-called “pastry stouts” have filled taplists with maple and muffin beers—think Great Notion when it’s not hazy. But even as the top-rated beers from Beer Advocate fill up with “Kentucky Brunch” coffee stout and marshmallow Dark Lord, the Chicago Tribune sniffs that craft fans have been caught “forgetting what beer tastes like.” So far, the trend has hit the Midwest and East Coast a lot harder than the Belgianand hop-happy Northwest. Portland’s Breakside Brewery is late to the pastry party, but also a pretty good dancer. Their new Nutella Porter tastes a lot like its down-under namesake, a sweet and nutty spread responsible for a quarter of the world’s hazelnut consumption. Early tastes of the beer were aggressive to the point of cloying, but it’s mellowed over the past few weeks into a filbert accent that doesn’t overtake the malt base—Nutella on brioche rather than eaten with a spoon. And sure, this beer has little to do with what I want from beer, but candy also has very little to do with what I want from food. It still tastes pretty good. MATTHEW KORFHAGE.


AUBREY GIGANDET

REVIEW

Feel It Still DOUG ADAMS REVIVES DIVISION STREET STANDBY WOODSMAN TAVERN. BY M A RT I N C I Z M A R

mcizmar@wweek.com

When it opened in 2011, the Woodsman Tavern epitomized the Portland aesthetic. It was the era of plaid flannel, mustache wax, country ham and oil paintings of rugged landscapes. A time when the city’s standard-bearing band played bouzoukis and made concept albums about forest creatures. The Woodsman’s signature dish was a whole skin-on roasted trout, which seemed like the perfect dish for its time and place. A lot has changed since. We now live in the era of imported white Danish plastic furniture and luxury sweatpants. The city’s most successful band, Portugal the Man, makes pop music that’s heavy on bass and synths. The city is obsessed with poke bowls and Asian dumplings. And yet, suddenly, the Woodsman Tavern is once again among the hottest restaurants in town. The renaissance comes courtesy of Doug Adams, who has been in a holding pattern during delays to the opening of the downtown hotel that will house his new restaurant, Bullard. Adams spent the summer fishing—literally—before Woodsman owner Duane Sorenson talked him into temporarily taking over his Division Street clubhouse. The Woodsman’s previous chef, who had not been informed of the Stumptown founder’s plan in advance, shuffled off to the Buckman Public House, and Adams set about putting his stamp on this once-great tavern, which had fallen from culinary relevance, and made up for it by hanging TVs showing football games. The main takeaway from three visits? Doug Adams is really good at cooking food. The Texan came up under Vitaly Paley at Paley’s Place, and salvaged his first spinoff, Imperial, which opened with a poorly conceived menu of deep-fried rabbit and duck meatballs. Quietly and quickly, Adams has done something similar at Woodsman, fixing the fundamentals and adding the sort of artful twists that turned Imperial into our 2015 Restaurant of the Year. As at Imperial, the first thing A dams did at the Woodsman is fix the fried chicken. Under the previous regime it had a dry, thin batter that flaked off into the bottom of the bucket. I think Adams makes the best fried chicken in town, and he’s brought his ultra-crispy recipe in which honey is drizzled onto just-outof-the-fryer batter. Adams has made similar refinements across the board. The side of macaroni and cheese ($5) is now extra cheese with Tillamook cheddar, with a crunchy hat of biscuit crumbles. The ham-braised collard greens have been boiled down perfectly, getting a meaty punch from the

SPRING CHICKEN: The former Imperial chef has led a renaissance at the Woodsman Tavern.

bones of the country ham and retaining the faintest note of bitterness. A side of delicata squash with whole toasted pecans, flaked aleppo pepper and thin ribbons of maple syrup is toasty, sweet and crunchy in the right places. Adams’ Southerninflected tastes pair well with a revitalized cocktail menu under bartender Daniel Osbourne, a Teardrop Lounge veteran who came on in February. Osbourne added equal refinement to his bar list with off-the-radar drinks like an Old World Belief #2, mixing coconut-toasted Appleton rum with campari, amaro and vermouth—adding sweet richness to the old-school Boulevardier. But the Woodsman classics remain well attended to, including the trademark house whiskey blends on their old fashioned and “four letter word” Manhattan. The more casual corners of Adams’ new food menu have also fared well. Adams is a master of classic comfort food,

making a super creamy pimento cheese dip with Duke’s mayonnaise and pickled jalapeno ($10 with hot, soft pretzels for dipping) and a mean double cheeseburger ($16, but, sadly, served with fries that were far too salty on our visit). But it’s when you get into that often-disappointing realm of “elevated comfort” that his work really stands out from the crowd. Take the baked cauliflower steak ($14) that was pleasantly smoky from being roasted in a charcoal Josper oven relish of roasted red pepper, and crunchy thanks to crushed cashews boiled in chile oil. Or take the trout ($24). When the Woodsman opened, the whole trout with crazy water was a big hit. And then, oddly, it was gone. When Adams mentioned he was taking over the Woodsman, he got a lot of requests to bring it back. He developed his own recipe instead, gently grilling the whole fish in simple lemon brown butter and serving it with herb-heavy potatoes. It may be even better than the recipe from the Woodsman’s heyday, managing the odd feat of simultaneously making me nostalgic and satisfied. Like the return of waxed mustaches and leather suspenders, the Adams era is likely to be short-lived at Woodsman. In the meantime, slip on your finest designer sweatpants and have yourself a night. GO: The Woodsman Tavern, 4537 SE Division St., 971-373-8264, woodsmantavern.com. Monday-Friday 5-9 pm, Saturday and Sunday 9 am-9 pm. Willamette Week JANUARY 3, 2018 wweek.com

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MUSIC = WW Pick. Highly recommended.

COMMENTARY STEPHEN GERE

Prices listed are sometimes for advance ticket sales. At-the-door increases and socalled convenience charges may apply. Event lineups are subject to change after WW’s press deadlines. Editor: MATTHEW SINGER. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, go to wweek.com/ submitevents and follow submission directions. All shows should be submitted two weeks or more in advance of event. Press kits, CDs and especially vinyl can be sent to Music Desk, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Please include show or release date information with all physical mailings. Email: msinger@wweek.com. Fax: 243-1115.

WEDNESDAY, JAN. 3 Ritchie Young & the Dead Lovers, Siren & the Sea

[RESIDENCY] See Get Busy, page 27. Al’s Den at Crystal Hotel, 303 SW 12th Ave., 855-205-3930. 7 pm. Free. 21+. Through Jan. 6.

THURSDAY, JAN. 4 Punk Rock Karaoke, Bombsquad

[PUNK SING-ALONG] Punk and karaoke are both born of the same basic idea: Anyone can be a musician. OK, not just anyone can be Whitney Houston, which you know if you’ve ever spent a Friday night at Alibi Lounge. But it is considerably easier for someone to cosplay as, say, Henry Rollins. And that, in essence, is the concept behind Punk Rock Karaoke. Tonight, you’ll get the chance to play frontman for a backing band consisting of members of Bad Religion, Adolescents, Dickies and Goldfinger. It works just like regular karaoke: Sign up at the venue, and the band will call you to the stage. Best avoid trying to do Bad Brains, though—your vocal chords probably can’t handle it. MATTHEW SINGER. Bossanova Ballroom, 722 E Burnside St., 503206-7630. 7 pm. $18. 21+.

is perfect for making out with your summer crush in Washington Park at the end of August. There’s a warmness to these songs, but also a wistful maturity in the understanding that the feeling won’t last. Even as you see beads of sweat form on your lover’s brow, you can sense that any day now the weather will turn, and the blue skies will fill with clouds the color of iron fillings. Still, you can’t help but enjoy the moment while it lasts. There’s a lushness to Holidae House that resembles Antidote-era Foals, or a less silly version of the Wombats. Holidae House deserves your attention. JUSTIN CARROLL-ALLAN. Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison St., 503-239-7639. 8 pm. $8. 21+.

FRIDAY, JAN. 5 Dead Moon Night: A Tribute to Fred Cole

Spillbound

[PUNK ROCK WAKE] See Get Busy, page 27. Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside St., 503-225-0047. 9 pm. $8 advance, $10 day of show. 21+.

CONT. on page 32

IN 2002, I DIDN’T WANT ROCK STARS. I WANTED BUILT TO SPILL. BY PETE COTTELL

Holidae House, Bermuda Love Triangle, General Mojo’s

TOP

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FIVE CONCERTS WE’RE LOOKING FORWARD TO IN 2018. Lorde at Moda Center, March 10

She put out the smartest party record of the year—a record about how parties are mostly terrible—and collected all the Album of the Year plaudits. Are we sure Taylor Swift wasn’t part of her entourage this whole time?

2 St. Vincent at Keller Auditorium, Jan. 20 On a better, weirder planet, Annie Clark’s newest one, Masseduction, dominated pop radio in 2017. Her live shows have grown increasingly surreal and theatrical, but really, her Nile Rodgers-meets-No Wave guitar playing is the only thing you’ll be watching. 3 Miguel at Roseland Theater, Feb. 22 He’s got some cringeworthy lyrics, to be sure, and his stage presence sometimes resembles a kid mimicking Prince in his bedroom mirror. But he’s one of R&B’s most captivating polymaths, whose less-than-stellar moments are still interesting, and whose stellar moments are downright jaw-dropping. 4 Judas Priest at Memorial Coliseum, April 17 Get that sixer of Schlitz out of deep-freeze, because the British metal gods are finally coming back to Portland. Who wants to tailgate in the Denny’s parking lot down the street before doors open? 5 Katy Perry at Moda Center, Feb. 2 Sure, her last album was a flaming diaper of bad ideas, but at least she had the good sense to get Carly Rae Jepsen to open for her. All hail the Queen of Support Slots! MATTHEW SINGER.

COURTESY OF CHUFF MEDIA

[BEDROOM POP] Portland’s own Holidae House’s selftitled EP, released last year,

I started college at the University of Akron in August of 2002. Rock ‘n’ roll had “returned” by then, but I was far too enamored with the somber everyman aesthetic of the Midwestern emo boom to take a bunch of foppish, leather-clad New Yorkers very seriously. The inevitability of emo’s swift decline then smacked me in the face the day after classes started, at a scene-kid-infested Taking Back Sunday show in Cleveland. So I decided my first matter of business as an oft-stoned college student was to seek out a more appropriate lifestyle soundtrack. The curation of streaming services like Spotify and Pandora were still years down the road, so I began my journey using the only resource I had: Amazon Listmania. My love for Jimmy Eat World’s Clarity helped me stumble upon artists like Mineral and Cap’n Jazz. So searching for “essential college albums” on AltaVista seemed liked a good place to start. I bristled at the predictability of the lists at first. Frustrated yet bored beyond comprehension, I clicked around aimlessly until an album with a blue cover featuring a girl with tiny wings finally caught my eye. It was Keep It Like a Secret by Built to Spill. I did a quick search to see what these guys were all about while the album downloaded on Audiogalaxy. The first thing I found was a press photo of the group, which immediately assuaged any concerns about them being pretentious aesthetes far too cool for an average kid from Akron, Ohio, to sincerely enjoy. “These guys look like dads,” I thought. At a time when every relevant offshoot of rock music was being corrupted by haircuts, seeing a balding guy in cargo shorts felt incredibly promising. In a weird way, the aggressive average-ness of Built to Spill fostered high hopes. Keep It Like a Secret blew me away from the get-go. I was no stranger to poppy guitar rock by then, but the urgency and cohesion of the album’s disparate elements struck me immediately. As

far as opening tracks that function as an album’s statement of purpose go, “The Plan” is undoubtedly one of the all-time greats. Here’s a band that crams bright and jangly chords, dueling lead guitars and Doug Martsch’s plaintive yowling about love, space and sidewalks into carefully built ear candy for an aspiring stoner not yet ready to go deep into prog rock or jam bands. Prior to Secret, Built to Spill crafted buzz-worthy albums with the loopy pop of 1994’s There’s Nothing Wrong With Love and the epic, perma-stoned sprawl of 1997’s Perfect From Now On. Secret joyously melds the two sounds into a tightly-wound 10-song collection that’s are equal parts dense and delectable. Martsch’s mastery of fusing space-rock onto ebullient anthems reaches its apotheosis on “Time Trap,” Secret’s five-minute centerpiece, which employs guitar feedback and tremolo picking to drop the album’s catchiest and most buoyant moment from out of nowhere. Followed by the drippy romanticism of “Else” and the classic-rock Easter egg hunt of “You Were Right,” Martsch keeps his earlier promise to be “perfect from now on.” With Secret nearing its 20th birthday and the requisite press junket of re-issues and reappraisals that inevitably come along with it, it’s hard to ignore how much critical perceptions of guitar rock has changed in the two decades that followed. Pitchfork originally awarded the album a 9.3 when it dropped in 1999, but it’s hard to imagine Secret getting little more than a pat on the back from the publication now. Considering the internet’s truncation of nostalgia cycles, perhaps we’re long overdue for yet another “rock revival” to be ushered in by scrappy youngsters who’ve found hope for the future of rock music in albums from the past like Keep It Like a Secret. As long as razor-sharp songwriting and endless layers of guitars take precedence over haircuts and jeans, then this 34-year-old is willing to keep the faith. SEE IT: Built to Spill play Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., with the Only Children, on Wednesday-Thursday, Jan. 3-4. 9 pm. Both shows sold out. 21+. Willamette Week JANUARY 3, 2018 wweek.com

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MUSIC The Weather Machine, Mosley Wotta, Kulululu

[FOLK REVIVALISTS] So much of the folk-revival scene is sleepy and contrived. Portland’s the Weather Machine shift the paradigm somewhat, playing a lively, farmhouse style of Americana that is far more hootenanny than sleepy coffee-shop open mic. The band’s 2015 release, Peach, is a pretty mix of stringy melodies, vocal builds and a certain swagger most rootsy acts lack. MARK STOCK. Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside St., 503-231-9663. 9 pm. $12 advance, $14 day of show. 21+.

and now he’s coming back to serenade us with his plaintive, apocalyptic acoustic folk project. Kelly hasn’t released a new solo album since 2012, but he did recently film a live set at Crater Lake, not terribly far from his Southern Oregon homestead. Supporting tonight is a rising solo star from Seattle that goes by the name STAHV. His brand new self-titled album is a seven-song smorgasbord of cinematic glory that blends guitar loops with lush synths to create bombastic modern soundscapes. NATHAN CARSON. Dante’s, 350 W Burnside St., 866-777-8932. 9 pm. $10 advance, $12 day of show. 21+.

So Stressed, Arteries, Shrilltones

Bowievision, SOS

[NOISE-PUNK] Making their Ghost Ramp debut with February’s Please Let Me Know, Sacramento’s So Stressed indeed produce sounds that can cause a lot of anxiety, with unrelenting drums, thrashing guitar riffs and a general noisiness that doesn’t let up. Their forceful racket recalls some of the finest in the harsher corners of the West Coast scene—think Minutemen meets Spazz. With Arteries (formerly Numbered) and the slight krautrock approach of newer band Shrill Tones also on the bill, everyone will more than likely leave with a tight feeling in their chest. CERVANTE POPE. The Know, 3728 NE Sandy Blvd., 503473-8729. 8 pm. Contact venue for ticket prices. 21+.

SATURDAY, JAN. 6 Scott Kelly, STAHV

[ACOUSTIC DOOM] Scott Kelly gets around. He’s been the vocalist and guitarist of Bay Area postmetal legends Neurosis since the ’80s. His new trio, Semantron, debuted in Portland just a few weeks ago,

[STARDUST MEMORIES] This one still stings. Bowie is dead, but he’s left behind a legion of Ziggys. Seattle’s Bowievision offers just about the best antidote to the plain fact that one of the best musicians of the last century is not longer with us. The seven-piece act is not only full of energy, but exploratory in its coverage of Bowie’s expansive catalogue. Bowievision is as likely to nail a cover of “Diamond Dogs” as its is to offer a moving version of “As The World Falls Down” from Labyrinth. MARK STOCK. Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside St., 503-231-9663. 9 pm. $19. 21+.

Help The Hoople: A Benefit for Scott McCaughey

[BON SCOTT] See Get Busy, page 27. Wonder Ballroom, 128 NE Russell St., 503-284-8686. 8 pm. $50. 21+.

SUNDAY, JAN. 7 Rufus Wainwright

[POP DRAMA] Rufus Wainwright

COURTESY OF BIGBOI.COM

PREVIEW

Big Boi, the Cool Kids

[SOUTHERN RAP] Big Boi has been cooler than a polar bear’s toenails for two decades now. As one half of OutKast, Big Boi helped popularize Southern rap, and in so doing completely changed the world’s perception of what the region sounded like. Think about it—before OutKast sank its teeth into the zeitgeist, the term “Southern music” brought to mind big cowboy hats, mud-speckled boots and Ford F-150s driving down dirt roads. Now it’s big-bodied cars drenched in candy paint, soul food and block parties on humid Atlanta streets. Big Boi’s recent experiment with Phantogram—the group Big Grams—was lackluster in large part because it was devoid of the unapologetic Southern flair that brought him so much success. Luckily, 2017 solo album Boomiverse does a better, more consistent job of blending pop with the sensibilities of his previous work on songs like “In the South,” “Kill Jill” and “Made Man.” Boomiverse proves that neither fame nor age can dethrone Big Boi as the King of the South. This is your opportunity to see a living legend. Don’t miss it. JUSTIN CARROLL-ALLAN. Wonder Ballroom 128 NE Russell St., 503-284-8686. 8 pm Monday, Jan. 8. $30 advance, $35 day of show. All ages. 32

Willamette Week JANUARY 3, 2018 wweek.com


PROFILE THOMAS TEAL

is the product of folk-singer parents who went on to forge a prolific career steeped in the unlikely combo of rock, opera and classical. He’s the kind of guy who can stroll into a music store and play everything with ease, with a crooning tenor voice to boot. Beloved by the industry, wonderfully dramatic and a true composer, Wainwright knows the game. His latest endeavor, 2016’s Take All My Loves, is nothing if not lofty—a collection of Shakespearean sonnets set to his music. Go get learned, in style. MARK STOCK. Aladdin Theater, 3017 SE Milwaukie Ave., 503-234-9694. 8 pm. $60. All ages.

Emily Wells, Like a Villain

[BAROQUE VIOLIN POP] See Get Busy, page 27. Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside St., 503-231-9663. 8 pm. $14 advance, $16 day of show. 21+.

Sad Horse, The Gutters, Plastic Harmony

[LO-FI] We’ve seen this exact lineup a few times in the past, and for good reason. Tonight differs slightly, as it’s doubling as the art opening for Sad Horse drummer and vocalist Elizabeth Venable and collaborator Clarence Jacobs. But aside from the art, patrons can marvel at each band’s old-school approach to garage, punk and psych. Sad Horse’s lo-fi but energetic take is simultaneously minimal and full-sounding. The same can be said for punk duo the Gutters, who possess a grit akin to the Fall and the Ruts. Plastic Harmony bridges the categorical gap, adding a dash of post-LSD Beatles inside their fuzz rock. CERVANTE POPE. Turn! Turn! Turn!, 8 NE Killingsworth St., 503-284-6019. 8 pm. Contact venue for ticket prices. 21+.

CLASSICAL, JAZZ & WORLD PROJECT Trio with Metropolitan Youth Symphony

[SONIC YOUTH] The kids studying classical music today need new models for reaching tomorrow’s audiences. Enter Brooklyn’s PROJECT Trio. In previous Portland performances, bassist Peter Seymour, cellist Eric Stephenson and beatbox flutist Greg Pattillo have earned rapturous applause, and for good reason—their performances have felt utterly spontaneous, their stage announcements are crisp and often funny and their energetic moves are coordinated for maximum impact. Even while covering classical masters like Tchaikovsky, Strauss, Brahms and Prokofiev, they dance across the stage, connecting with audiences unencumbered by music stands or stuffy attitudes. In other words, they’re an ideal role model for the teenage musicians of Portland’s Metropolitan Youth Symphony, who they’ll be fronting in this concert. BRETT CAMPBELL. Newmark Theatre, 1111 SW Broadway, 828-8285. 7:30 pm Sunday, Jan. 7. $20-$55. All ages.

Fear No Music presents Locally Sourced Sounds

[MADE IN OREGON] Fear No Music’s annual Locally Sourced Sounds concert is one of Portland’s most valuable showcases for new, homebrewed music in the classical tradition. This year’s show skews younger than usual. Sure, there’s a new duet by one of Portland’s best composers, Lewis and Clark college prof Michael Johanson, and a premiere by classical radio host and modern music maven Robert McBride. But the rest of the program consists of new music by Oregon composers under 35: Corvallisbased Jayanthi Joseph’s Synthesis for solo violin; recent PSU grad Jake Rose’s Music for String Quartet and Percussion; and The Peaceful and Mask of Sanity by Cleveland High student Sylvan Talavera, one of this year’s participants in FNM’s other valuable contribution to Oregon music, its year-long Young Composers Project. BRETT CAMPBELL. The Old Church, 1422 SW 11th Ave., 503-222-2031. 7:30 pm Monday, Jan. 8. $10-$30. All ages.

For more Music listings, visit

Thom Meets Brahms A CLASSICAL COMPOSER BRINGS RADIOHEAD INTO THE 19TH CENTURY. Steve Hackman was in his first assistant conducting gig when he began to feel disconnected from both the pop music he cherished and other 20-somethings. So he quit. A recent graduate of Philadelphia’s prestigious Curtis Institute, Hackman began writing arrangements of pop hits for fellow Curtis alums Time for Three, a classical trio that draws broad popular audiences via informal performances and rock band and stage appeal. That led to a series of jobs—in Indianapolis, Pittsburgh and Colorado—running the alt-classical programs more and more orchestras are creating to attract younger, more diverse listeners. A few years ago, Chapman created something more than simple juxtapositions. He fused a quintessential Romantic symphonic classic, Brahms’ 1876 Symphony #1, with songs from Radiohead’s landmark 1997 album OK Computer. He’ll conduct it with the Oregon Symphony and three singers this week. “Fans of Radiohead are going to hear this music they love through a different lens,” Hackman says. “And they’re gonna see it played by one of the best bands they’ve ever seen.” Along with rich harmonic complexity and counterpoint, he found a dense, dark brooding gravity infusing the music of Radiohead—a favorite of classical musicians made up of classically trained musicians who’ve made their own orchestral projects—and angsty Brahms. Sometimes the songs float above Brahms’ music, others are interpolated between movements. Musical themes slide from one to the other, or the songs are altered to fit the symphonic sound world. Brahms vs. Radiohead set the template for Hackman’s subsequent pop-classical mashups: Bon Iver with Copland, Coldplay with Beethoven, Bjork with Bartok, even his own original music with Stravinsky. (He’s also promised to do Kid A eventually.) While Hackman’s mashups have drawn strong, younger audiences to symphony halls, some critics prefer their genres separate but equally valid. Some classical purists regard such experiments as a cynical ploy to “youthify” and broaden audiences, and lend a facade of hipness and relevance to a backwardgazing genre. Pop fans worry, with equal justification, about bloated arrangements diluting the lean power of pop in a search for high-culture legitimacy. But Hackman, who grew up on pop music, competed on American Idol and has also recorded albums as a singer-songwriter, praises orchestras like the Oregon Symphony for their recent embrace of many such pop-classical hybrids. He sees his “syntheses,” as he prefers to call them, as a gateway to bring pop fans to the classical arena he equally cherishes—and vice versa. “This is not a symphonic treatment of Radiohead’s music as much as it is a true synthesis of it with a symphony of Brahms,” Hackman says. “By the end, you will have heard the entirety of Brahms’ first symphony, and I guarantee you’re gonna be curious to hear more. I’ve had so many listeners come up to me after one of these shows and say, ‘I’m gonna go home and listen to this again.’” BRETT CAMPBELL SEE IT: Brahms v. Radiohead is at Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall, 1037 SW Broadway, on Thursday, Jan. 4. 7:30 pm. $25 and up. All ages. Willamette Week JANUARY 3, 2018 wweek.com

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Thanks porTland

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Your gifts make a difference.

Visit giveguide.org to see the results of this year’s campaign. Follow @GiveGuide 34

Willamette Week JANUARY 3, 2018 wweek.com


MUSIC CALENDAR WED. JAN. 3 Alberta Street Pub 1036 NE Alberta St Jet Black Pearl

Al’s Den at Crystal Hotel

303 SW 12th Ave Ritchie Young & the Dead Lovers, Siren & the Sea

LaurelThirst Public House

2958 NE Glisan St TK & the Holy KnowNothings

Mississippi Studios

3939 N Mississippi Ave Built To Spill

The Goodfoot

2845 SE Stark St Soul Progression with Danny Verdieck and Midnight’s Children

White Eagle Saloon

FRI. JAN. 5 Alberta Street Pub

Dante’s

350 West Burnside Nu Wavers

Jack London Revue 529 SW 4th Ave Neo Soul Sunday Presents GreaterKind

303 SW 12th Ave Ritchie Young & the Dead Lovers, Siren & the Sea

Jade Lounge

2342 SE Ankeny St Waffle Taco

Anarres Infoshop

Kelly’s Olympian

7101 N Lombard St Squalor, Family Vacation, We Kill Police, Agriculutral Development

426 SW Washington St YouVees, Fleeting Few, DJ Missing Mei

Muddy Rudder Public House

Crystal Ballroom

Turn! Turn! Turn!

1037 SW Broadway Kids Concert: Dinosaurs!

830 E Burnside St Emily Wells, Like a Villain

Al’s Den at Crystal Hotel

830 E Burnside St The Weather Machine, Mosley Wotta, Kulululu

Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall

Doug Fir Lounge

1036 NE Alberta St Cascade Crescendo; Jonny Cool; Pretty Gritty

The Secret Society 116 NE Russell St Wednesday Night Zydeco

LAST WEEK LIVE

836 N Russell St Rainbow Electric & Urban Shaman

1332 W Burnside St Dead Moon Night: A Tribute to Fred Cole

[JAN. 3-9]

For more listings, check out wweek.com.

E M I LY B E R K E Y

= WW Pick. Highly recommended.

Editor: Matthew Singer. TO HAVE YOUR EVENT LISTED, send show information at least two weeks in advance on the web at wweek.com/ submitevents. Press kits, CDs and especially vinyl can be sent to Music Desk, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Please include show or release date information with all physical mailings. Email: music@wweek.com.

8105 SE 7th Ave Dan and Fran

Newmark Theatre

Doug Fir Lounge

1111 SW Broadway Project Trio, Metropolitan Youth Symphony

8 NE Killingsworth St Caspar Sonnet and Dead Death: Outset Series

High Water Mark Lounge

Rontoms

White Eagle Saloon

6800 NE MLK Ave Torment is Flesh

600 E Burnside St Turtlenecked, Mo Troper, Little Star

Jack London Revue

Tapalaya

836 N Russell St Bakersfield Rejects; Ronnie Carrier’s Drifin’ Inn

THU. JAN. 4 Alberta Street Pub

1036 NE Alberta St McDougall & Friends; Jaycob Van Auken

Al’s Den at Crystal Hotel

303 SW 12th Ave Ritchie Young & the Dead Lovers, Lael Alderman

Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall

1037 SW Broadway Brahms vs. Radiohead

Bossanova Ballroom

722 E Burnside St Punk Rock Karaoke, Bombsquad

Dante’s

350 W Burnside Bad Assets, Trujillo

Holocene

1001 SE Morrison St Holidae House, Bermuda Love Triangle, General Mojo’s

Kelly’s Olympian

426 SW Washington St The Thesis

Mississippi Studios

3939 N Mississippi Ave Built To Spill

The Know

3728 NE Sandy Blvd Smelly Elle Death Metal Art Show

Turn! Turn! Turn!

8 NE Killingsworth St die Reihe, The Tenses, Jeff Host

Twilight Cafe and Bar 1420 SE Powell Blvd Rascal Miles, Millstone Grit, The Sincerelys

116 NE Russell St The Not-So-Secret Family Show feat. Red Yarn

2025 N Kilpatrick St The Bandulus, The Sentiments

Local Celebrity

816-820 N Russell st Lili St Anne, Erica Russo, Kendall Core

Mahers Pub

352 B Ave, Lake Oswego Harvey Brindell & The Tablerockers

Mississippi Studios

3939 N Mississippi Ave New Move, Ezza Rose, Merō

Muddy Rudder Public House 8105 SE 7th Ave The Junebugs

Rock Hard PDX

13639 SE Powell Blvd Raw & Unsigned: Live Metal Showcase

Roseland Theater 8 NW 6th Ave The Green

SouthFork

4605 NE Fremont St Devin Phillips

Spare Room

The Fixin’ To

2845 SE Stark St Clark/Russell/Hendrix Organ Trio

The Secret Society

Kenton Club

13 NW 6th Ave Help the Hoople Night 1: A Benefit for Scott McCaughey

The Goodfoot

3728 NE Sandy Blvd Worws, Ruined It, Squalor, No Trial

426 SW Washington St Cedars and Crows, Bridges for People, The Angry Lisas

4830 NE 42nd Ave Erotic City

8218 N Lombard St The Fur Coats, Wet Fruit, S.E.C.R.E.T.S.

The Know

Kelly’s Olympian

Muddy Rudder Public House 8105 SE 7th Ave Sleepy Eyed Johns

28 NE 28th Ave Solo Guitar at Tapalaya

529 SW 4th Ave Cosmic Dust, Innersphere

Star Theater

The Firkin Tavern

1937 SE 11th Ave Soul Ipsum, Omari Jazz, Pat Moon

Turn! Turn! Turn!

ALL THAT GLITTERS: In 2016, when rapper Aminé ended his breakout year with a sold-out homecoming performance at Roseland Theater, the Portland native showed both his star potential and his inexperience. While commanding onstage, he didn’t yet have the material for a full headlining set, filling his time with jokes about Benson High and the Blazers, multiple cover songs and surprise guests. He was so new at that point that some fans didn’t know he was even from Portland. This year, there was no confusion. Returning to the Roseland for the second of a two-night stand on Dec. 28—his first Portland appearances since releasing his well-received major label debut, Good for You, last July—the crowd was electric with anticipation and, as per his instructions, covered in glitter. Clad himself in an all-denim outfit that was studded from seam to seam, then drowned in glitter, Aminé looked like Freddie Mercury going out for a night at the Thunderdome. “Y’all know where I’m from, right?” he joked after he ripped the night open with “Baba.” He made the same joke last year, but it landed better this time. The performance was tight and impeccably orchestrated. There were some miscues. There was a long lag in the show when Aminé brought a fan on stage to sign a pair of pants and the large, inflatable “Good For You” sign kept losing air. He encored with “Spice Girl,” a puzzling choice, given that he’d already played it. But by the time he got to “Caroline”—which started slow, built with quiet surges, then exploded with 808s and confetti cannons—it was clear that this is a much different Aminé from last year. If his last homecoming showcased his potential, this year’s fulfilled it. Finally, Portland has a true rap star to call its own. JUSTIN CARROLL-ALLAN. Pelican Ossman Cassette Release Show!

Twilight Cafe and Bar 1420 SE Powell Blvd TallWomen, GBA, Towers, root_dir, The Thrash Key Kids

Zarz On First

814 SW 1st Portland Robbie Laws Band

SAT. JAN. 6 Alberta Street Pub

The Secret Society

Al’s Den at Crystal Hotel

116 NE Russell St The Barn Door Slammers; Paul Brainard’s Fun Machine Big Band, Mystery Seed

Turn! Turn! Turn!

8 NE Killingsworth St

Twilight Cafe and Bar

1420 SE Powell Blvd Question Tuesday, Stab In The Dark, Spicy When Naked, 9 Fly Points

White Eagle Saloon

836 N Russell St Hollowdog Happy Hour

MON. JAN. 8 Lake Theater and Cafe

106 N. State St, Lake Oswego An Acoustic Night With Ty Curtis

Muddy Rudder Public House 8105 SE 7th Ave Lloyd Jones

The Goodfoot

The Know

3728 NE Sandy Blvd So Stressed, Arteries, Shrilltones

8 NE Killingsworth St Sad Horse, The Gutters, Plastic Harmony

1036 NE Alberta St Scarlet Town

303 SW 12th Ave Ritchie Young & the Dead Lovers, By the Winds Sailor

Dante’s

350 W Burnside Scott Kelly, STAHV

Doug Fir Lounge 830 E Burnside St Bowievision, SOS

Hawthorne Theatre

1507 SE César E. Chávez Blvd Maiden NW

High Water Mark Lounge

Milwaukie Ledding Library

10660 SE 21st Ave Swing & Standards Jazz Band

Mississippi Studios

3939 N Mississippi Ave Rocker T & The 7th Street Band

6800 NE MLK Ave Chris Newman Deluxe Combo, LoudMotor, Perfect Monster

Muddy Rudder Public House

Jack London Revue

Rock Hard PDX

529 SW 4th Ave Evan Mustard Trio, John Moak

LaurelThirst Public House 2958 NE Glisan St Tom Petty Tribute

Lombard Pub

3416 N Lombard St First Sat Psych Night: Pulse Emitter, Quiet!, Introvert

8105 SE 7th Ave Steve Itterly

13639 SE Powell Blvd The Desolate, Vintersea, Von Doom, Brandon Sills Project

The Fixin’ To

Shannon Entropy, Toothbone Duo, Paper Gates, and !mindparade

The Know

White Eagle Saloon

8218 N. Lombard St A Very Bowie Birthday 3728 NE Sandy Blvd The She’s, Cool American, Havania Whaal, Chain

The Lovecraft Bar

421 SE Grand Ave Wire Spine, Blood of Others

The Paris Theatre 6 SW 3rd Ave Mac Lethal

The Secret Society

4605 NE Fremont St PDX Side Hustle

116 NE Russell St Pete Krebs and his Portland Playboys feat. Rusty Blake; The Libertine Belles

The Firkin Tavern

Tonic Lounge

SouthFork

1937 SE 11th Ave Bevelers, Erica Russo, Cloven Pink

3100 NE Sandy Blvd Torment is Flesh

Turn! Turn! Turn!

8 NE Killingsworth St

836 N Russell St Stephanie Anne Johnson, Paul Mauer & the Silence

Wonder Ballroom

128 NE Russell St Help The Hoople Night 2: A Benefit for Scott McCaughey

SUN. JAN. 7 Aladdin Theater

3017 SE Milwaukie Ave Rufus Wainwright

Alberta Street Pub 1036 NE Alberta St Matthew Zeltzer

Al’s Den at Crystal Hotel

2845 SE Stark St Ural Thomas & The Pain

The Old Church

1422 SW 11th Ave Fear No Music presents Locally Sourced Sounds

Wonder Ballroom

128 NE Russell St Big Boi, the Cool Kids

TUE. JAN. 9 Alberta Street Pub 1036 NE Alberta St Chez Stadium

Raven and Rose

1331 SW Broadway Na Rósaí

Twilight Cafe and Bar 1420 SE Powell The Order of Elijah, We Were Giants, When We Met, Banners

303 SW 12th Ave Matthew Lindley

Willamette Week JANUARY 3, 2018 wweek.com

35


MUSIC COURTESY OF DIRTY DEEDS

NEEDLE EXCHANGE

Dirty Deeds Years DJing: About 10 years. Genre: I don’t like to consider myself genre-oriented, because I play a lot of different music. But I love house music, experimental trap, Brazilian-influenced trap, breaks, club music, Kaytranada-influenced house (because I don’t even know how to describe that stuff ), moombahton and dance hall. Where you can catch me regularly: At Holocene for Verified, and anywhere that brings an artist that I like—Whiskey Bar, Liquor Store, 45 East, Paris Theatre. Craziest gig: Phantom PDX. Every year is crazy insane. I’ve played the last three years and every time I get a huge, amazing crowd. My first year I went back-to-back with my close friend Chris Bower on top of a bus to close the night off, and there were so many people just going crazy the whole time. My go-to records: “Yo Vogue” by French Fries; “Sirens” by Born Dirty; “100mph” by Sage Armstrong and Astronomar; “Me De Amor” by Sàngo; anything from Kaytranada. Don’t ever ask me to play…: Anything by Jason Derulo, Taylor Swift or Prince Royce. Or even anything that might be on the radio. NEXT GIG: Dirty Deeds spins at Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison St., on Saturday, Jan. 13. 9 pm. $5 advance and at the door before 11 pm, $10 after. 21+. Mad Hanna

6129 NE Fremont St Never Say Die Rocknroll Night w/ DJ Just Dave

Maxwell Bar

WED, JAN. 3 Beulahland

118 NE 28th Ave Wicked Wednesday (hip-hop)

Dig A Pony

736 SE Grand Ave El Dorado (rock & roll)

3100 NE Sandy Blvd Death Throes (death rock, dark wave)

THU, JAN. 4 Dig A Pony

Killingsworth Dynasty

Elvis Room

832 N Killingsworth St Finite Plane

Maxwell Bar

20 NW 3rd Ave Wu-Tang Wednesday

Rock Hard PDX

13639 SE Powell Blvd Riddim Revolution (edm)

The Lovecraft Bar 421 SE Grand Ave

Willamette Week JANUARY 3, 2018 wweek.com

Tonic Lounge

Elvis Room

203 SE Grand Ave DJ Joey Prude

36

Event Horizon (darkwave, industrial)

736 SE Grand Ave Jen O (of Strange Babes) 203 SE Grand Ave DJ Atom 13

Ground Kontrol

511 NW Couch St Community Library DJs: DJ Brokenwindow & Strategy

Killingsworth Dynasty 832 N Killingsworth St Dynasty Goth Night w/ DJs Musique Plastique

20 NW 3rd Ave Ascension

Moloko

3967 N. Mississippi Ave Sappho Digs Deep

The Lovecraft Bar

421 SE Grand Ave Shadowplay (goth, 80s)

The Paris Theatre 6 SW 3rd Ave Ethereal Thursdays

FRI, JAN. 5 Bit House Saloon 727 SE Grand Ave NoFOMO

Crystal Ballroom

1332 W Burnside St 80s Video Dance Attack

Dig A Pony

736 SE Grand Ave Bobby D (funk, 90’s hiphop)


BAR REVIEW

BUZZ LIST Where to drink this week.

AUBREY GIGANDET

TOP 5

NEWS

1. Tough Luck

ARTS & CULTURE

1771 NE Dekum St., 971-754-4188, toughluckbar.com. Dekum bar Tough Luck is a whiskey-happy bit like The Old Gold—but with the addition of nice Korean fried chicken bowls and kimchipimento-cheese hamburgers to pair with your $5 michelada.

2. Huber’s

FOOD & DRINK

411 SW 3rd Ave., 503- 228-5686, hubers.com. The winter month after the holidays can be depressing. Find refuge at Portland’s oldest bar, where the owner may greet you personally and your server may do tableside magic tricks.

3. The Standard 14 NE 22nd Ave., 503-233-4181. Few dive bars throw themselves into the winter spirit so completely: While it remains cold as fuck, warm your insides with $5 hot whisky and cider, rum horchata or hot toddies.

4. Up North Surf Club

1229 N Killingsworth St., 503-706-5932, upnorthsurfclub.com. Peak surf season is now. Catch tips at this surprisingly rollicking surf shop bar with a great taplist— and order fried chicken from brand-new Haymaker next door.

5. 15th Avenue Hophouse

1517 Northeast Brazee St., 971-266-8392, oregonhophouse.com. All month in January, the Hophouse will have a blind taste test: For $12 you taste 12 Oregon IPAs and try to guess them all. The crowd favorite wins a berth on the taplist.

Eagles Lodge

4904 SE Hawthorne In The Cooky Jar (soul, r&b)

Killingsworth Dynasty 832 N Killingsworth St Lez Do It

Maxwell Bar

20 NW 3rd Ave Chi Duly

Moloko

3967 N. Mississippi Ave Lite It Up First Fridays w/ Frankeee B (Scandinavian synthetic funk)

The Goodfoot

2845 SE Stark St First Friday Superjam (funk, soul, disco)

The Liquor Store

3341 SE Belmont St Uplift

The Lovecraft Bar

421 SE Grand Ave DoublePlusDANCE w/ DJ Acid Rick & DJ Carrion (new wave, synth, goth)

The Paris Theatre

6 SW 3rd Ave Fuego Fridays (latin, hip hop)

KEEPING IT LIGHT: Nobody buys rounds anymore. A photocopier saleswoman had just pulled $350 off the video poker machines at the Lighthouse Restaurant and Bar (10808 NW St., Helens Rd., 503-2408827, lighthousepdx.com), and she figured it was her moral duty. “If you spread it around,” she explained, “It comes back. That’s how it works, right?” Not everywhere. For 67 years, Linnton’s nautical-themed Lighthouse Inn has been a small-town bar at the edge of Portland, the sort of place where the owners also buy bar rounds on their birthday while longbearded regulars play cornhole on the sidewalk out front with drinks in hand. The bathrooms are reserved for either “Gulls” or “Bouys,” in a folksy misspelling preserved for decades. Except for the updated menu, you might not even know the place got new owners a year back. New stewards Alex and Julia Bond have made a vocation out of buying and preserving die-hard spots for the people who still go there, from twee bakery Saint Cupcake to Clyde’s Prime Rib on Sandy. They fell in love with the Lighthouse while on a motorcycle trip and took it over, keeping on the bar staff and the scattershot beer selection. What changed was the food, with a much-improved menu from former Woodsman Tavern sous Will Boothe. The nachos are baked fresh, the voluminous cobb salad is the same beauty served at Clyde’s, and the chowder is filled with so many clams it might as well be a stew. Both the mammoth, airy onion rings and the tangy-sauced burger hit every mark they were meant to. The bottled and canned beer selection stretches across four coolers, and nothing costs more than $4.50. The cocktails aren’t fancy, but they’re stiff. The next time anybody complains that all the good old bars are gone, the Lighthouse is where you should send them. Who knows? Maybe somebody will still be spreading the wealth from the last round. MATTHEW KORFHAGE. The Steep and Thorny Way to Heaven SE 2nd Ave. & Hawthorne Blvd Brickbat Mansion (goth)

Valentines

232 SW Ankeny St Massacooramaan

SAT, JAN. 6 Crush Bar

1400 SE Morrison St Pants OFF Dance OFF: Happy Nude Year

Crystal Ballroom

1332 W Burnside St 90’s Dance Flashback

Dig A Pony

736 SE Grand Ave Dirty Red (boogie & bangers)

Kenton Club 2025 N Kilpatrick St Club Nitty Gritty (soul, r&b)

Quarterworld

4811 SE Hawthorne Blvd VCR TV w/ DJ Kyle-Reese

The Liquor Store

3341 SE Belmont St Wake The Town

The Lovecraft Bar

421 SE Grand Ave Expressway to Yr Skull (shoegaze, deathrock, indie) Death Trip w/ DJ Tobias

The Wayback

4719 N Albina Ave Soul Good

Valentines

232 SW Ankeny St Halcyon

Vendetta

4306 N Williams David Bowie Tribute

SUN, JAN. 7

Killingsworth Dynasty

Maxwell Bar

Moloko

Star Theater

832 N Killingsworth St Questionable Decisions

3967 N. Mississippi Ave Roane (hip-hop, soul, boogie)

20 NW 3rd Ave Dubblife 13 NW 6th Ave Hive (goth, industrial)

EVENTS MUSIC MOVIES CONTESTS GIVEAWAYS

MON, JAN. 8 Dig A Pony

736 SE Grand Ave Motown Mondays

Ground Kontrol

511 NW Couch St Reaganomix: DJ Nate C. (80s)

The Lovecraft Bar

421 SE Grand Ave Black Mass (goth, post punk)

TUE, JAN. 9 Dig A Pony

736 SE Grand Ave Bad Wizard (50s & 60s)

Killingsworth Dynasty 832 N Killingsworth St Final Report

Sandy Hut

1430 NE Sandy Blvd DJ Montel Spinozza

The Lovecraft Bar

WWEEK.COM

421 SE Grand Ave Sleepwalk (deathrock, gothrock)

Tube

18 NW 3rd Ave Tubesdays w/ DJ Jack

Willamette Week JANUARY 3, 2018 wweek.com

37


COURTESY OF SHANE TORRES

PERFORMANCE

GAME FACE: Shane Torres returns to Portland for a three-night stint at Helium comedy club.

Bat Out of Hell

THE ONLY THING COMEDIAN SHANE TORRES IS AFRAID OF IS BEING PIGEONHOLED. It’s been three years since Shane Torres moved from Portland to New York, but you’d never know it from his first album. Established 1981, the record Torres put out in September in conjunction with his first Comedy Central special, features a lot of material Portlanders will remember from his time here, starting with Torres introducing himself with one of his classic lines about looking like “a Native American Meatloaf impersonator.” It’s material he’s been working on for six years—and now that it’s on an album, it’s dead. Which puts Torres in an interesting position as he embarks on the cross-country tour that brings him back to Portland for a three-day stand at Helium this weekend. Torres, who came in second on our firstannual Funniest Five poll back in 2013, is now starting from scratch with a new act that’s all still “demo cuts.” “Right now, there are some pretty candid stories. Like, I moved my dad into a homeless shelter when I was a kid—and that’s in there,” he says. “But there’s also some dumb, goofy shit. I don’t want to be one way—‘He’s the dark comedian!’ Or ‘He’s the silly one!’ I want to be able to do both, because I think those are all valuable things. Creating the act, I’m going a bunch of different ways even on heavier subjects.” 38

Willamette Week JANUARY 3, 2018 wweek.com

That impulse to avoid getting pigeonholed came up a few times during my half-hour chat with Torres, who was visiting his native Fort Worth, where he has newfound semi-celebrity status thanks to a bit done in defense of Guy Fieri which went viral.

“LIKE I GIVE A SHIT IF I GET SUED FOR THE DOZENS OF DOLLARS I HAVE IN MY BANK ACCOUNT.” - Shane Torres

For those who know Torres—he unironically refers to Jimmy Eat World as “America’s Beatles”—there was nothing surprising about the counter-intuitive take. Especially in Portland, where takes on such subjects tend to be lukewarm and orthodox, it was refreshing. But that’s all the more reason not to do another bit like it. “I don’t want to be the guy who defends things that suck—or that people think suck,” he says. “It’s not going to be formulaic. I’ll try to present a perspective if I think it’s funny. But there’s a true worry for me, creatively, of being like, ‘Oh, this is the thing he does now.’ I’ll do it, but it won’t be the same way. To me, that’s a death knell.”

That focus on moving forward is scary but also exhilarating, Torres says. And three years in New York has certainly shaped his material. “There’s a change in tone, for sure,” he says. “It’s definitely made me more assertive and a little meaner on stage. Less afraid of, like, ‘What if they don’t like me?’ It gave me a little bit of hair on my chest.” Seeing Torres’ raw and candid new act in the town where his comedy career began will be interesting—the biggest way that Established 1981 differs from his shows here is that it’s more confessional. Take the story about the mayhem that ensues after Torres gets “top five drunk” and then runs into his ex-girlfriend at a bar. The piece is titled “A Tribute To Whitney S.,” which in Portland is a not especially subtle callout to fellow comedian Whitney Streed. “The lawyers were like, ‘We might get sued.’ And I was like, ‘Fucking fine, fucking fix it!’” Torres says. “Like I give a shit if I get sued for the dozens of dollars I have in my bank account.” GO: Shane Torres is at Helium Comedy Club, 1510 SE 10th Ave., portland.heliumcomedy.com. 7:30 pm and 10 pm Friday-Saturday, 10 pm Sunday Jan. 5-7. $20-$28. 21+.


VISUAL ARTS C O U R T E S Y O F R I C H A R D W. J A M E S

Feeling the Buzz FREE WHISKEY AND FOUR OTHER ART SHOWS OPENING THIS WEEK. BY S HA N N O N G O R M L EY

sgormley@wweek.com

In contemporary art, an artist’s process is often just as important as the art itself. So seeing a work in progress can not only help you better understand the resulting work, but also experience a crucial part of it. Several artists who have First Thursday and Friday openings this week are allowing you to do just that. Ben Hucke is going to create photorealistic drawings at his solo show, and Vance Feldman is displaying a segment of a constantly evolving illustrated scroll that’s now longer than the Titanic. Though it’s not a part of First Friday or Thursday, we’ve also included Portia Munson’s open studio in our monthly preview. Her new exhibit, Flood, will open at Disjecta at the end of the month, and will display found objects Munson has collected in the form of elaborate sculptural installations. Her open studio will provide a glimpse of Munson’s collection process, which defines her work more than any predetermined concepts. Here are the five gallery openings we’re most excited to see this week.

THURSDAY Instructions for Drinking with a Friend For Portland artist MK Guth’s new exhibit, she’s built a table, two chairs, a custom bottle of whiskey and two glass cups. You’re encouraged to bring a friend, sit together in the gallery, drink some whiskey and have a conversation that’s prompted by a book of rules provided by the artist. The exhibit is open during regular gallery hours, meaning there could be presumably sober strangers in the gallery, making your drunken conversation as much a part of the space as the canvases on the wall. Elizabeth Leach Gallery, 417 NW 9th Ave., elizabethleach. com. Reception 6-8 pm. Through Jan. 27. ForeverScape In the eight years that Portland illustrator Vance Feldman has been working on ForeverScape, it’s grown from a single eight-and-a-half-inch sheet of paper, to a grid that’s over 1,000 feet long. Every three days since 2009, Feldman added a new detailed sheet to the project, creating a series of surreal, interlocking scenes in a style that’s somewhere between comic book and Boschian. Smaller segments of the work were displayed in Portland galleries earlier in the process, but the installation at Blackfish will be ForeverScape’s largest yet. Part of the illustration will cover the walls from floor to ceiling, and there will be a mechanical scroll on display that will wind through a smaller-scale copy of the complete work. Blackfish Gallery, 420 NW 9th Ave., blackfish.com. Reception 6-9 pm. Through Jan. 27. Ben Hucke Ben Hucke’s exhibit at Gallery 903 avoids being static in a very literal way. The former BMX biker turned artist creates pen-and-ink replicas of whatever strikes him as meaningful—everything from worn Adidas sneakers, the Columbia River Gorge or a portrait of Kanye West. At the reception of his

ALBERT VI BY RICHARD W. JAMES

solo show at Gallery 903, Hucke will demonstrate his methodical process in real time, creating new works, which seems fitting for a style of art that’s so much about technique. Gallery 903, 903 NW Davis St., gallery903.com. Through Jan. 31.

FRIDAY The Persistence of the Residuum Eutectic’s new show of ceramic sculptures is kind of terrifying. There’s Richard W. James’ weathered looking, off-kilter sculptures, like one of an old man with a wrinkled but smiling face and a zither, looking a little like a guillotine blade, jammed into his head. Then there’s Russell Wrankle’s wall-hanging sculptures that include a rubbery rabbit skin stretched over the edges of an iron skillet and a rust-colored hand with a bloated finger stuck in the artery of a blood-red heart. Not only are the sculptures deeply imaginative, but they’re crafted with careful detail that implies a kind of strange, but attentive affection. Eutectic Gallery, 1930 NE Oregon St., eutecticgallery.com. Reception 6 pm-9pm. Through Jan. 27.

SATURDAY Open Studio with Portia Munson New York artist Portia Munson creates foundobject installations that are manically ornate. As part of her decades long obsession with the color pink, she’s built a canopy of pink onesies over a hectic display of pink toys, and filled a coffin-sized glass case with discarded pink objects she found over the course of several years. To create her upcoming Portland exhibit, Flood, she embarked on a cross-country road trip, collecting items that will become her new show. The exhibit will open at Disjecta at the end of the month. While it’s still in process, Munson is hosting an open studio at c3:initiative, where she’s currently the resident artist. What’s on display this Saturday could look totally different from the final product, but seeing Munson’ process can only increase appreciation and understanding of what’s sure to be a complicated exhibit. C3:initiative, 7326 N Chicago Ave., c3initiative.org. 2 pm-7 pm.

Willamette Week’s BEER GUIDE 2017 Free

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Our annual guide to beer is back! As our local beer scene continues to expand and change, we’ll follow the evolving taste the industry is offering our community. From our top 10 beers to best breweries and bars in Oregon, this guide will arm our readers with the information they need explore this state’s beer scene. 503.445.1426 advertising@wweek.com Willamette Week JANUARY 3, 2018 wweek.com

39


COURTESY OF PYRAMID FILMS

MOVIES Screener

GET YO U R REPS IN

Blade Runner (1982)

Fuck. Yes. It’s been several months since the sequel was released, but a theater in Portland is finally screening the Final Cut of Ridley Scott’s cyberpunk masterpiece. Academy is also screening Blade Runner 2049, so if you’re really hardcore, you could spend five hours immersed in grimmy futurism for a mere $8. Academy . NW Film Center’s Whitsell Auditorium, Jan. 5-11.

Labyrinth in the Field: Avant-Garde Shorts (various) There’s no better introduction to Church of Film, one of Portland’s weirdest movie nights, than a screening of avant-garde shorts. This time, the often surreal and always striking movies are mostly from 1960s Japan. Clinton, Jan. 3.

My Neighbor Totoro (1988)

WILL VINTON’S CLOSED MONDAYS.

History in Motion

Populated by benevolent and adorably rotund spirits, Miyazaki’s masterpiece is a dark war-torn metaphor cloaked in quirky animation. Academy, Jan. 3-4.

MARK SHAPIRO HAS HIS FINGER ON THE PULSE OF STOP-MOTION ANIMATION.

It takes less than two minutes before Will Vinton’s Closed Mondays gets really weird. In the 1974 short by the stop-motion animation pioneer and Oregonian, an old man walks into an art gallery. But the banal scene quickly turns surreal when music notes painted on one of the canvas start moving. From there, Closed Mondays only moves further from reality, until it culminates with a green robot with oversized teeth mutating into what looks like an apple, then the Earth, then a hand and finally, Albert Einstein’s head. Just over seven minutes, Closed Mondays is screening as part of Animated Worlds: Stop-Motion Shorts. Its strange transformation offers a stunning reminder of stop motion’s potential to test the boundaries of film. “Seeing the puppets interact with art works and art works coming to life was a pretty mind-altering experience,” says Mark Shapiro, who curated the series and works for Hillsboro based, internationally acclaimed stop-motion studio LAIKA. Animated Worlds is part of NW Film Center’s ongoing stop-motion animation series that continues until April. The movies in the series stretch from the 1933 King Kong to LAIKA’s most recent movie, the multiOscar winning Kubo and the Two Strings. 40

Willamette Week JANUARY 3, 2018 wweek.com

But Animated Worlds is the only screening in the series dedicated to shorts. It will feature works by stop-motion legends like Will Vinton and Tim Burton. But there are also shorts by current stop-motion’s current innovators. That includes a work by Kirsten Lepore, whose short Hi Stranger, which depicted a waxy figure lying on its stomach and talking in a low voice about its butt, went viral last year. “The goal,” says Shapiro says, “was to create a program that exhibited the best of stop motion.” Even though he works for one of the most innovative stop-motion companies, Shapiro isn’t exactly who you’d expect NW Film would ask to curate a lineup of stopmotion shorts. Shapiro is LAIKA’s brand manager, not one of its creators. Before he took the job at LAIKA, he had no background in stop motion. “It takes a unique talent to be an animator, and I don’t have that,” says Shapiro. “But I have the appreciation.” Still, his years at LAIKA have not only inspired a personal passion for the art form, but have made Shapiro a uniquely authoritative voice on stop motion. Over the years, he’s attended dozens of national and international film festivals where LAIKA and other stopmotion shorts are screened. It’s made Shapiro well versed in modern-stop motion animation, and allowed him to develop a knowledge of the genre that stretches far beyond LAIKA.

Though he says that comparing shorts to features is like “comparing a poem to a novel,” Shapiro has a particular passion for short films. He especially admires the “handmade, tactile” quality of stop-motion animation, which is visible in the features of the misshapen, obviously sculpted hero of Closed Mondays, who is all the more remarkable because you can visibly see the work it took to bring him to life. Especially impressive in Animated Worlds’ lineup are Fresh Guacamole and Western Spaghetti, two shorts from the filmmaker PES that turn household items like dice and sticky notes into guacamole ingredients. “If he’s showing a Rubick’s Cube being cut, what’s the sound that that makes?” says Shapiro. “That all has to be manufactured and attached to the image, which is another incredible part of a filmmaker’s world. They’re not just moving the puppets. They’re actually creating energy and sound and movement.” Ideally, Animated Worlds will impact Portland moviegoers the same way that those living paintings in Closed Mondays once wowed Shapiro. “When the lights go up,” he says, “hopefully, people will walk away, go grab coffee or something and talk about what they’ve just seen.” SEE IT: Animated Worlds is at NW Film Center’s Whitsell Auditorium, 1219 NW Park Ave., nwfilm.org. 2 pm Sunday, Jan. 7. $9.

(1984)

Watching Prince act is pretty absurd, but Purple Rain still has one of the greatest movie sountracks of all time. Mission, Jan. 8-14.

The Princess Bride (1987)

Holy shit, people love this movie. Rob Reiner’s goofball fantasy tale of Westley and his quest to save Princess Buttercup is a classic among cult classics. Mission, Jan. 3-7.

ALSO PLAYING: Clinton: 12 Monkeys (1995), Jan. 8. Kiggins: The Bride of Frankenstein (1935), Jan. 6. In A Lonely Place (1950), Jan. 8. Laurelhurst: Ong-Bak: Muay Thai Warrior (2005), Jan. 3-4. District B13 (2006), Jan. 5-11. Mission: Dazed and Confused (1993), Jan. 8-12. NW Film: A Matter of Life and Death (1946), Jan. 5-7. Phantom Lady (1944), Jan. 8.

C O U R T E S Y O F WA R N E R B R O S .

BY BENNETT CAMPBELL FERGUSON

Purple Rain

Blade Runner


COURTESY OF A24

LADY BIRD Editor: SHANNON GORMLEY. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, send screening information at least two weeks in advance to Screen, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Email: sgormley@wweek.com. Fax: 243-1115. : This movie sucks, don’t watch it. : This movie is entertaining but flawed. : This movie is good. We recommend you watch it. : This movie is excellent, one of the best of the year.

NOW PLAYING All the Money in the World

In 1973, oil billionaire J. Paul Getty was the richest man to ever walk the planet. All the Money in the World follows the kidnapping of his grandson, which was a tabloid sensation of its day—despite his wealth, Getty wouldn’t pony up a ransom, allowing his grandchild to languish for half a year with his captors. The stakes could scarcely be higher, but none of it is particularly thrilling to watch. The characters here are merely chess pieces in a plot you could just as easily read about on Wikipedia. R. CHANCE SOLEMPFEIFER. Bridgeport, Cedar Hills, City Center, Clackamas, Division, Eastport, Fox Tower, Tigard, Vancouver.

Blade Runner 2049

With an overwhelming dissonant, bassy score by Hans Zimmer, 2049 looks and sounds spectacular. But as a testament to the influence of the original, there isn’t much 2049 has to add about how technology blurs our sense of self and soul. 2049 seems less concerned with tiny moments of emotion than big reveals from a twisty plot that seems to define 2049’s imaginative boundaries rather than expand them. Still, it’s one hell of a spectacle. R. SHANNON GORMLEY. Academy, Jubitz, Laurelhurst, Valley Cinema Pub, Vancouver.

Darkest Hour

If this fussy, grandstanding biopic is too believed, Winston Churchill’s crusade against Adolph Hitler consisted primarily of shouting and smoking his weight in cigars. That’s the narrative that director Joe Wright (Atonement) tries to sell with help from Gary Oldman, who glowers and yowls mightily as Churchill. Their enthusiasm yields not a humanizing portrait of the venerated prime minister, but a history-book myth that treats him

more like a statue to be dusted off from time to time than a human being. PG-13. BENNETT CAMPBELL FERGUSON. Bridgeport, City Center, Clackamas, Living Room Theaters, Lloyd, Vancouver.

Call Me By Your Name

The new romance from director Luca Guadagnino (I Am Love, A Bigger Splash) follows the love affair between Elio, a teenager summering in Italy with his scholarly parents, and Oliver, a grad student studying with Elio’s father, smolders for the better part of this novelesque character study. Though its backdrop couldn’t be more different, there’s a chance Guadagnino’s excellent film could follow in the awards-season footsteps of Moonlight this winter— a highly acclaimed queer love story in which feelings of foreboding are personal and emotional, not societal. R. CHANCE SOLEM-PFEIFER. Fox Tower.

Coco

Pixar’s transcendent fable follows a young boy named Miguel (voiced by Anthony Gonzalez) who lives in Mexico and dreams of becoming a musician like his long-dead idol, Ernesto de la Cruz (Benjamin Bratt). Miguel’s family disapproves of his guitar-filled dreams, but Coco isn’t Footloose for musicians—it’s a Dia de los Muertos odyssey that sends Miguel on a trippy trek to the afterlife, where he seeks validation from de la Cruz’s fame-hungry ghost. Nestled beneath the film’s cheery mayhem, however, is an overwhelmingly powerful meditation on memory, mortality and familial love. Miguel may make some extraordinary discoveries in the great beyond, but the most beautiful thing in Coco is his realization that the only place he wants to journey to is the home he left behind. PG. BENNETT CAMPBELL FERGUSON. Bridgeport, Cedar Hills, City Center, Clackamas, Division, Eastport, Living Room Theaters, Lloyd, Tigard, Vancouver.

Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle

Two decades after the eponymous game loosed animal hordes upon New Hampshire suburbia, Jumanji is now a video game. Its cartridge is chanced upon by a detention-bound quartet of familiar teen caricatures (gamer, jock, princess, wallflower) who soon find themselves sucked into the game and retrospectively transformed into two-fisted archaeologist Dwayne Johnson, fun-sized ‘weapons valet’ Kevin Hart, husky cartographer Jack Black and dance-fighting Karen Gillan. As Director Jake Kasdans slackens the rigors of saccharine banality just enough for absurdist flights of fancy and flashes of perverse wit to regularly subvert expectations. Can we ask much more of our modern holiday blockbusters? PG-13. JAY HORTON. Bridgeport, Cedar Hills, City Center, Clackamas, Division, Eastport, Lloyd, Oak Grove, Pioneer Place, St. Johns Pub and Theater, Tigard, Vancouver.

Lady Bird

In Greta Gerwig’s writer/ director debut, Christine, who insists on being called Lady Bird, is a high school senior growing up in Sacramento, which she loathingly refers to as the Midwest of California. Desperate to break free from mediocrity, Lady Bird slowly abandons her theater-kid friends for a group of rich kids. Gerwig has crafted a sprawling story in which every character is subject to Gerwig’s absurd humor as much as her deep empathy. What makes the movie so uniquely touching is Lady Bird’s tense interactions with her mom—It’s rare to see a relationship between two complicated women portrayed with such care and empathy. Still, Lady Bird is endearing because of her boldness, not in spite of it. R. SHANNON GORMLEY. Bridgeport, City Center, Eastport, Fox Tower, Hollywood.

Molly’s Game

Written and directed by Aaron Sorkin, Molly’s Game is the story of the rise and fall of Molly Bloom (Jessica Chastain), from aspiring Olympian to “Poker Princess” of LA and New York. It’s a lot of ground to cover, but Sorkin is a master of hiding exposition by varying dialogic rhythm and precisely choosing the words hyper-articulate characters say. The unquestioned

star, however, is Chastain. A lesser actor would be devoured by Molly Bloom, but Chastain’s performance accomplishes the difficult task of humanizing her. R. R MITCHELL MILLER. Bridgeport, Cedar Hills, Fox Tower.

The Shape of Water

Guillermo del Toro (Pan’s Labyrinth) has created a film that is beautiful but cluttered, visionary but formulaic and sympathetic to its kind, lonely heroine, but unwilling to let her spearhead the story the way that men have driven del Toro fantasies like Pacific Rim. That heroine is Eliza (Sally Hawkins), a mute janitor who works in a Baltimore laboratory where she cleans bathrooms and, on occasion, the chamber where a dark-eyed, water-dwelling creature (Doug Jones) has been imprisoned. Eliza and her slimy-but-beautiful prince, fall in love, but del Toro seems skittish about lavishing their romance with too much attention. He stuffs the film with subplots about Cadillacs, Russian spies and key lime pie—it’s a relief when he simply lets us stare in rapture at the image of Eliza and the creature floating together in a flooded bathroom. Love, that glorious image suggests, is enough for them. Why didn’t del Toro trust that it would be enough for the movie? R. BENNETT CAMPBELL FERGUSON. Cinema 21, Hollywood.

Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri

A year ago, Mildred Hayes’ (Frances McDormand) daughter Angela was raped and murdered. Now, the case has stalled for the hothead Ebbing police department. So she decides to rent the billboards so that they display three messages: “Raped While Dying”; “And Still No Arrests?”; “How Come, Chief Willoughby?” The residents of Ebbing are forced to choose between the mother whose daughter was brutally killed and the popular Chief Willoughby (Woody Harrelson), who’s dying of pancreatic cancer. It would be easy to imagine the premise as a seriously dark and thoughtful drama. But in the hands of writer/director Martin McDonagh, what emerges is a seriously dark and thoughtful comedy. R. R. MITCHELL MILLER. City Center, Fox Tower, Hollywood.

Willamette Week JANUARY 3, 2018 wweek.com

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LEAH MALDONADO

POTLANDER

Sprouting Soon THREE THINGS WE’RE EXCITED TO SEE IN PORTLAND CANNABIS IN 2018 By LAU R EN TER RY

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Portland cannabis business are happy to have 2017 behind them. It was a year of costly changes and a rapid transition into operations that, for the first time, had to worry about things like commercial kitchens and building occupancy. 2018 will be the real baseline, the first year when businesses can actually just go about as recreational shops, producers or distributors, without preparing for drastic legislative changes every three months. And now there’s enough stability for ancillary ideas to come to fruition, like the mysterious Green Space Lounge on Southeast 9th and Division, a “premier working, meeting and socializing space for the cannabis enthusiasts.” Owner Eric Logan was unavailable for comment, but the space’s Instagram alludes to an exclusive networking lounge, with annual membership fees of $7,000. Though there is always uncertainty—Trump hasn’t moved on cannabis, but could—it seems 2018 will be a smoother time for businesses to experiment and grow. Here are a few more reasons to be excited for this year in cannabis. PHYLOS BIOSCIENCE ESTABLISHES AN OFFICIAL CERTIFICATION PROGRAM Maybe your grower has a legit cut of Dark S t a r, o r m a y b e i t ’s a n e s t r a n g e d s t e p child of Haze and Acapulco Gold. Finally, i n 2 018 you’l l b e a b l e t o k n ow for s u re . Phylos Bioscience (phylosbioscience.com) has been organizing a genetic history of cannabis for the last three years. After developing the foundation to their revolutionary strain Galaxy, the Phylos crew has launched a streamlined certification for growers who have their strains analyzed and added to the first-ever comprehensive map of cannabis genetics. Phylos certification would put your strain in their galaxy, preventing future patenting of your plants and strengthening the world’s only genetic database for cannabis, providing growers with a genotype report showing closest genetic relatives, line stability, population profile and more. “It’s a transparency tool,” explains Carolyn White, marketing manager at Phylos. “Everyone that genotypes their plants has access to unique fingerprint seals that have unique IDs that indicate the exact location on the Galaxy. Before the seals, there was no easy way for growers to share their data.” BUDS WITHOUT BORDERS: UNITING THE WEST COAST IN THE FACE OF NATURAL DISASTERS We read about Napa Valley and horse ranches catching fire, but news coverage didn’t mention the

devastation to the newborn recreational cannabis farms growing in the path of the wildfires. “I have friends that lost everything, f r i e n d s o f f r i e n d s w h o h a v e l o s t e v e r ything,” says Meghan Walstatter, co-owner of the recreational dispensary, Pure Green. Then she learned that because Californian growers aren’t allowed crop insurance, they will have to pay tax bills on crops that burned to ash. Walstatter knew it was time to lend a hand, and reached out to the Cal Growers Association. With help from colleagues at Maya Media, Walstatter launched Buds Without Borders (budswithoutborders.org), a campaign to raise funds for those struggling to recover from the California fires. Donations go to the Cal Growers Association’s Wildfire Recovery Fund, available only to those who are licensed or in the application process of licensing and experienced severe-tototal damage. Phylos has agreed to match up to $8,000, so there’s a goal of at least $16,000 total. “It’s an arbitrary line between California and Oregon when it comes to cannabis,” Walstatter says. “We’re a big family of cultivators, and with everything else going on, I am just sick of waking up and feeling powerless.” A BIGGER, BRIGHTER CULTIVATION CLASSIC ON MAY 12 Portland still hosts the world’s only serious competition for cannabis produced without mineral salts or synthetic pesticides, herbicides or fungicides. The event, organized by Willamette Week, has a new partnership with Habu Health that will refine and more efficiently compare subjective feedback from 75-plus judges, breaking down the “overall effect” rating into elements like body, cognition and mood. Outstanding terpene profiles will be a new award in the lineup this year, possibly the first of its kind at a cannabis cup. “We are the most scientifically rigorous cannabis competition on the planet,” says Steph Barnhart, director of the Cult Classic. “I take that claim very seriously. I dream of a world where winning the Cultivation Classic ‘distinguished terpene profile’ is more exciting to consumers who walk into a dispensary than the bud with 25% THC. We’re trying to push the conversation there.” The window is open for growers to enter the competition, just note the deadline for submissions is February 16. You can find more info at cultivationclassic.cc.


RICK VODICKA

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SUPERIOR COURT OF WASHINGTON FOR THURSTON COUNTY In Re the Interest ofInfant Weston, Persons under the age of eighteen. NO. 17-5-00054-34 AMENDED NOTICE OF PETITION FOR TERMINATION OF PARENT/CHILD RELATIONSHIP; NOTICE OF HEARING ON TERMINATION TO: RYAN WESTROPE, alleged father: YOU ARE HEREBY NOTIFIED that there has been filed in this court a petition for termination of parent-child relationship and consent to adoption. Said petition asks that there be first an adjudication that your consent to adoption of such child is not required by law, and that your parental rights to such child, if any, be terminated. YOU ARE NOTIFIED that a petition for termination of parent-child relationship with the above-named children and consent to adoption by the mother of the above-named children has already been given. INFANT WESTON was born on MAY 14, 2016 in KETCHIKAN, ALASKA YOU ARE FURTHER NOTIFIED that a hearing on the petition for termination of parent-child relationship will be held on 2/16 at 9:00 a.m./p.m., at the THURSTON County Courthouse, 2801 32nd Avenue SW Tumwater, WA 98512. At such hearing you have the right to be represented by counsel. Counsel will be appointed for you if you are unable to afford counsel and request that counsel be appointed. Your parent-child relationship will be terminated if you fail to respond to this notice within twenty (20) days of the personal service hereof (or within thirty (30) days if service was outside the State of Washington) or thirty (30) days from the date of the first publication of this notice. YOU ARE HEREBY FURTHER NOTIFIED that you have the right, pursuant to Revised Code of Washington, Chapter 26.26, to file a claim of paternity regarding these children. Failure to file such a notice, or to respond to the petition for termination of parent-child relationship within 20 days of the personal service of such petition, or thirty (30) days if you are personally served outside the State of Washington, or thirty (30) days from the date of the first publication of this notice is grounds to terminate your parent-child relationship. Dated: January 3, 2017.

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Across 1 "___ Drives Me Crazy" (1989 hit) 4 Curvy letters 8 Took off on two wheels 13 Edinburgh resident 14 And nothing more 15 Lawn straightener 16 "No way" 17 Binary digits 18 Oath-taker's prop 19 St. Vincent album on a lot of "Best of 2017" lists 22 Whitman of TV's "Parenthood"

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61 1998 baseball MVP Sammy 62 Fasten, in a way 63 Got up 64 Unrestrained way to run 65 RR stops 66 Tropicana's locale 67 Cartoon skunk Le Pew 68 Go with ___ grain Down 1 Kristen of "The Last Man on Earth" 2 Common eightlegged pest 3 Suffixes after "twenti-", "thirti-," etc. 4 There were "A Few" in a 1992 film title 5 Boredom 6 Util. measured in kWh 7 Part of DOS, for short 8 Charlie Parker's genre 9 Menzel who sang in "Frozen" 10 Soviet org. dissolved in 1991 11 Sushi selection 12 Beats by ___ (headphones brand) 13 ___ cum laude (with highest honors) 20 Protect, as with plastic 21 Ceases to exist 25 Scythes through the underbrush, perhaps 26 "Dear ___ Hansen" 27 Pirate executed in 1701 29 "I think somebody needs ___"

30 Turtle-ish enemy in Super Mario Bros. 31 Prefix meaning "all" 34 John of "Entertainment Tonight" and new age music 35 He followed a trail of breadcrumbs 36 First South Korean president Syngman ___ 37 Certain GIs 38 Laugh-out-loud type 42 6'11", say 43 Dessert made with pecans or almonds, maybe 47 Bear-ly? 48 Clementine coats 50 Industrial city of Japan 51 Home Depot competitor 52 "The Ant and the Grasshopper" storyteller 55 "Get on it!" 56 Setting for "Julius Caesar" 57 Part of MIT 58 Dallas player, briefly 59 Overwhelming wonder 60 Gearwheel tooth

40 "Can you give me ___?" 41 Toy fad that caught on in 2017 44 Olympic gold medalist Sebastian 45 ___ moment (epiphany) last week’s answers 46 Depletes 49 Casual walk 52 Took in dinner (but not a movie) 53 "There ___ no words ..." 54 Major 2017 event that required special glasses 58 Parrot's cousin ©2017 Jonesin’ Crosswords (editor@jonesincrosswords.com) For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle #JONZ823. 23 Abbr. for someone who has just a first and last name 24 Actress Sissy of "The Help" 28 ___-Lorraine (area in northeast France) 30 Thor Heyerdahl's "___-Tiki" 32 Half of CXII 33 2017 movie that could be Daniel DayLewis's last, if he sticks with retirement 37 Fuel-efficient Toyota 39 365 billion days, in astronomy

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"The Somethingest of 2017"--not good, not bad, just...something.


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Week of January 04

ARIES (March 21-April 19):

missions ventured into the open sea and down along the coast of West Africa. Eventually, this new technology enabled long westward trips across the Atlantic. I propose that we make the caravel your symbol of power for 2018, Libra. According to my reading of the astrological omens, you will find or create a resource that enables you to do the metaphorical equivalent of effectively sailing into the wind.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20):

The Aztecs were originally wanderers. They kept moving from place to place, settling temporarily in areas throughout the land we now call Mexico. An old prophecy told them that they would eventually find a permanent home at a site where they saw an eagle roosting on a cactus as it clutched a snake in its talons. There came a day in the fourteenth century when members of the tribe spied this very scene on an island in the middle of a lake. That’s where they began to build the city that in time was the center of their empire. I bring this to your attention, Scorpio, so it can serve as a metaphor to guide you in 2018. I suspect that you, too, will discover your future power spot -- the heart of your domain for years to come.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20):

CANCER (June 21-July 22):

Not every minute of every day, but when you have had the time, you’ve been searching for a certain treasure. With patience and persistence, you have narrowed down its whereabouts by collecting clues and following your intuition. Now, at last, you know its exact location. As you arrive, ready to claim it, you tremble with anticipation. But when you peel away the secrets in which it has been wrapped, you see that it’s not exactly what you expected. Your first response is disappointment. Nevertheless, you decide to abide in the presence of the confusing blessing and see what happens. Slowly, incrementally, you become aware of a new possibility: that you’re not quite ready to understand and use the treasure; that you’ll have to grow new capacities before you’ll be ready for it in its fullness.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22):

Soulful beauty will be a major theme for you in 2018. Or at least it should be. But I suppose it’s possible you’re not very interested in soulful beauty, perhaps even bored by it. Maybe you prefer skin-deep beauty or expensive beauty or glamorous beauty. If you choose to follow predilections like those, you’ll lose out on tremendous opportunities to grow wilder and wiser. But let’s hope you make yourself available for a deeper, more provocative kind of beauty -- a beauty that you could become more skilled at detecting as the year unfolds.

In 2018, your past will undergo transformation. Your memories will revise and rearrange themselves. Bygone events that seemed complete and definitive will shimmy and shift, requiring new interpretations. The stories you have always told about how you became who you are will have to be edited, perhaps even rewritten. While these overhauls may sometimes be disconcerting, they will ultimately be liberating. In 2018, people will be drawn to you even more than usual. Some will want you to be their rock -- their steady, stable source of practical truth. Some will ask you to be their tonic -- their regular, restorative dose of no-nonsense. And others will find in you a creative catalyst that helps them get out of their ruts and into their grooves. And what will you receive in return for providing such a stellar service? First, there’ll be many opportunities to deepen and refine your integrity. To wield that much influence means you’ll have to consistently act with high-minded motivations. And secondly, Taurus, you’ll get a steady supply of appreciation that will prove to be useful as well as gratifying. Influences that oppose you will fade as 2018 unfolds. People who have been resistant and uncooperative will at least partially disengage. To expedite the diminishing effects of these influences and people, avoid struggling with them. Loosen the grip they have on your imagination. Any time they leak into your field of awareness, turn your attention instead to an influence or person that helps and supports you. Here’s another idea about how to collaborate with the cosmic rhythms to reduce the conflict in your life: Eliminate any unconscious need you might have for the perversely invigorating energy provided by adversaries and bugaboos. Find positive new ways to motivate yourself. I predict that in 2018 you will figure out how to get your obsessions to consistently work for your greatest good. You will come to understand what you must do to ensure they never drag you down into manic self-sabotage. The resolute ingenuity you summon to accomplish this heroic feat will change you forever. You will be reborn into a more vibrant version of your life. Passions that in the past have drained and confused you will become efficient sources of fuel for your worthiest dreams. Just because you have become accustomed to a certain trouble doesn’t mean you should stop searching for relief from that trouble. Just because a certain pain no longer knocks you into a demoralized daze for days at a time doesn’t mean it’s good for you. Now here’s the good news: In 2018, you can finally track down the practical magic necessary to accomplish a thorough healing of that trouble and pain. Make this the year you find a more ultimate cure.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22):

Have you ever nursed a yearning to speak Swahili or Chinese or Russian? The coming months will be an excellent time to get that project underway. Do you fantasize about trying exotic cuisines and finding new favorite foods? I invite you to act on that fantasy in 2018. Is there a form of manual labor that would be tonic for your mental and physical health? Life is giving you a go-ahead to do more of it. Is there a handicraft or ball game you’d like to become more skilled at? Get started. Is there a new trick you’d like to learn to do with your mouth or hands? Now’s the time.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22):

Before the fifteenth century, European nations confined their sailing to the Mediterranean Sea. The ocean was too rough for their fragile, unadaptable ships. But around 1450, the Portuguese developed a new kind of vessel, the caravel. It employed a triangular sail that enabled it to travel against the wind. Soon, exploratory

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21):

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21):

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19):

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AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18):

“Let your freak flag fly” was an expression that arose from the hippie culture of the 1960s and 1970s. It was a colorful way to say, “Be your most unique and eccentric self; show off your idiosyncrasies with uninhibited pride.” I propose that we revive it for your use in 2018. I suspect the coming months will be a favorable time for you to cultivate your quirks and trust your unusual impulses. You should give yourself maximum freedom to explore pioneering ideas and maverick inclinations. Paradoxically, doing so will lead to stabilizing and enduring improvements in your life.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20):

In accordance with the astrological omens, I suggest you start compiling a list entitled, “People, Places, Ideas, and Things I Didn’t Realize Until Now That I Could Fall in Love With.” And then keep adding more and more items to this tally during the next ten months. To get the project underway in the proper spirit, you should wander freely and explore jauntily, giving yourself permission to instigate interesting mischief and brush up against deluxe temptations. For best results, open your heart and your eyes as wide as you can. One further clue: Act on the assumption that in 2018 you will be receptive to inspirational influences and lifetransforming teachings that you have never before been aware of.

Homework I’d love to see your top five New Year’s resolutions. Share by going to RealAstrology.com and clicking on “Email Rob.”

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503-736-0111 · morelink.biz

3213 SE DIVISION ST AND AT 909 N BEECH ST. PORTLAND AND SHOP ONLINE AT SHEBOPTHESHOP.COM

$300 SIGNING BONUS!

Marijuana Shop

*971-255-1456* 1310 SE 7TH AVE

Mcmenamins Sherwood is now hiring line cooks!

20595 SW TV Highway. Aloha, OR 97006 503-746-4444

NORTH WEST HYDROPONIC R&R We Buy, Sell & Trade New and Used Hydroponic Equipment. 503-747-3624

See page 45 for details.

OMMP CARDHOLDERS GET 25% DISCOUNT!

Quick fix synthetic urine now available. Kratom, Vapes. E-cigs, glass pipes, discount tobacco, detox products, Butane by the case Still Smokin’ Glass and Tobacco 12302 SE Powell 503-762-4219

Need Computer Help? Guaranteed on-site help flexible pricing, fast turnaround 360-773-1861

Top 1% Buyer’s Agent Kami Price, Broker 13+ years experience Permiere Property Group, LLC 503-773-0000

ROSE CITY GUN & KNIFE SHOW

Jan 6th & 7th Portland Expo Center Sat. 9-5, Sun 9-3. Admission $10. 503-363-9564 wesknodelgunshows.com

SO, YOU GOT A DUI. NOW WHAT?

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JiuJitsu

Ground defense under black belt instruction www.nwfighting.com or 503-740-2666

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Guitar Lessons

Personalized instruction for over 15yrs. www.portlandguitar-lessons.com 503-546-3137

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Eskrima Classes

Personal weapon & street defense www.nwfighting.com or 503-740-2666

MEDICAL MARIJUANA Card Services Clinic

503-384-WEED (9333) www.mmcsclinic.com 4911 NE Sandy Blvd, Portland Mon-Sat 9-6

503 235 1035

New Downtown Location! 1501 SW Broadway www.mellowmood.com

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Pizza Delivery

Until 4AM!

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