42 33 willamette week, june 15, 2016 by Willamette Week Newspaper

WE SPENT A WEEK MAKING MEALS FROM THE NEW PORTLAND FARMERS MARKET COOKBOOK. P. 37 YE OLDE PORTLAND VISITS THE MUCH-MISSED SIMMONS’ WORLD OF MAGAZINES. P. 59 WILLAMETTE WEEK PORTLAND’S NEWSWEEKLY

A TRIP TO THE DENTIST LANDS AN IMMIGRANT TEEN IN FEDERAL LOCKUP. P. 9

“IT WAS DIFFICULT NOT TO BURST OUT WEEPING.” P. 59

L ife IN THE

NUMBER S

WWEEK.COM

VOL 42/33 6. 15. 2016

East Portland’s hand-dipped corn dogs, hookah hip-hop clubs and storied honky-tonks. PAGE 12

Willamette Week JUNE 15, 2016 wweek.com

CHRISTINE DONG

FINDINGS

PAGE 19

WHAT WE LEARNED FROM READING THIS WEEK’S PAPER VOL. 42, ISSUE 33.

Nobody knows what Dan Saltzman looks like. 4 Oregonian editor Mark Katches isn’t going to let a little severe diarrhea keep him from boosting employee morale. 6 NPR allows its correspondents to give paid speeches for the potato lobby but not in opposition to corporate taxes. 11 Toby Keith likes to just pop in at

his favorite Portland bar unannounced. 17

ON THE COVER:

The Beer and Cheese Fest is sold out, so we recommend a sixer of Hoegaarden and some Casatica di Bufala. 35 Always grill your artichokes. 37 Oregon’s version of Burning Man is happening this weekend. 39 If you like metal, bier, brats and Californians, there is a place. 47 Hollywood Theatre is showing the only known 35 mm print of an X-rated religious ﬁlm. 57

OUR MOST TRAFFICKED STORY ONLINE THIS WEEK:

Photo of Daisy and Dylan at the 7-Eleven on Southeast 122nd by Christine Dong.

An old railroad line might someday be a trail from Portland’s ’burbs to the coast.

STAFF Editor & Publisher Mark Zusman EDITORIAL News Editor Aaron Mesh Arts & Culture Editor Martin Cizmar Staff Writers Nigel Jaquiss, Rachel Monahan, Beth Slovic Copy Chief Rob Fernas Copy Editors Matt Buckingham, Maya McOmie Stage & Screen Editor Enid Spitz Projects Editor Matthew Korfhage Music Editor Matthew Singer Web Editor Sophia June Books James Helmsworth

Visual Arts Jennifer Rabin Editorial Interns Grace Culhane, Russell Hausfeld, Jenna Mulligan, Ben Stone CONTRIBUTORS Mike Acker, Dave Cantor, Nathan Carson, Peter D’Auria, Alex Falcone, Shannon Gormley, Jordan Green, Jay Horton, AP Kryza, John Locanthi, Mark Stock PRODUCTION Production Manager Dylan Serkin Art Director Julie Showers Special Sections Art Director Alyssa Walker Graphic Designers Rick Vodicka, Xel Moore Illustration and Design Interns Jodie Beechem Photography Interns Henry Cromett, Clifford King

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Willamette Week JUNE 15, 2016 wweek.com

THE SALMONBERRY TRAIL

We’re thrilled to see that WW has caught the I read your article on the Salmonberry Trail with same sense of possibility that inspires us on great interest, having hiked a small portion of the Salmonberry Trail Intergovernmental it several years ago [“Wilder: The Salmonberry Agency, which is responsible for trail planning Trail Doesn’t Exist Yet. We Hiked It Anyway,” and development. This is a project with great potenWW, June 8, 2016]. tial and growing interest that we My interest turned to pure dismay when it became clear the believe will one day provide a great public recreation opportunity. bicycle lobby is back in action, deterHowever, the tunnels, trestles and mined to ruin for everyone what rails are hazardous, have not been could potentially be an incredible maintained since the 2007 flood backpacking experience for those not inclined (or able) to suffer the event, and pose a real and present THE SALMONBERRY TRAIL DOES’T EXIST YET. WE HIKED IT ANYWAY. pedestrian-choked corridors of the danger for anyone venturing onto the line. Pacific Crest Trail. The Salmonberry Railroad, site It isn’t as though cyclists don’t of the proposed future Salmonhave their own resources—they “My interest have managed to commandeer, at turned to pure berry Trail, is currently owned the cost of their own safety, a large by the Port of Tillamook Bay and dismay when is closed to public use. percentage of Portland’s streets and —Salmonberry Trail IntergovernOregon’s roads. God alone knows it became mental Agency how much of our tax dollars have clear the gone into green and white paint in bicycle lobby this state, in an effort to further the SHERIFF’S FAMILY LEAVE is back in illusion that this somehow increasWhen you’re on leave, you’re not action.” es everyone’s safety. It does not, as working [“Milking the Baby,” evidenced by the number of “ghost WW, June 8, 2016]. When you’re bicycles” adorning Portland’s utility poles. working, you’re not on leave. You can’t be on My disappointment extends to those politi- leave and work at the same time. That’s not a cally involved in the planning of this project, complicated concept. stalled over what is going to amount to an insur- —“ChasJo” mountable cost if the Salmonberry Trail is given over to the needs of cyclists. The costs could be Multnomah County Chairwoman Deborah less than 25 percent of what has been forecast Kafoury adopted the parental leave policy and if it is left in its largely natural state, with only handed it down to all departments. The policy is necessary repairs made and the addressing of hers…so shouldn’t she be the one in the hot seat? —“taxpayer4” safety concerns. Bicycles and their riders have enough ways to travel within the Portland metro area without the Salmonberry Trail. Let’s do what we can LETTERS TO THE EDITOR must include the author’s street address and phone number for veriﬁcation. to keep Oregon green and let the cyclists ride Letters must be 250 or fewer words. what already exists. Submit to: 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Email: mzusman@wweek.com. —Iain McLennon WILLAMETTE WEEK PORTLAND’S

NEWSWEEKLY

OIL TRAIN CATCHES FIRE IN THE GORGE. DON’T DRINK FROM THE SCHOOL SINK.

BY AARON MESH PAGE 12

WWEEK.COM

VOL 42/32 6.8.2016

WE ATE 25 BOWLS OF CHOWDER ON THE COAST TO FIND THE BEST. P. 16

I live in Southeast Portland and pay $1,100 a month for a two-bedroom townhouse. Last week, my landlord oﬀered to renew the lease— provided I agree to pay an additional $200 per month. Is this even legal? —Angry Renter

Having your city become “cool” is like throwing a good party. At first you just hope people will come. Later, it starts raging, and you’re excited that it’s such a success— you’re popular! You’ve arrived! But at 4 am, when everything is trashed, there’s a line for the bathroom, and you can’t get into your bedroom because a bunch of people you don’t know are doing coke in there, you realize you don’t actually care about being popular. You just want all these assholes out of your house. I daresay you may be reaching this moment of vomit-spattered clarity, Angry. An onslaught of people you and I don’t recall inviting drove rents up by 14 percent in 2015 alone. Your landlord’s proposed 18 percent increase is barely even gouging by current standards. 4

Willamette Week JUNE 15, 2016 wweek.com

ONE WOMAN’S STORY OF MOVING FROM PORTLAND TO ASTORIA. P. 19

HOW SPRUCE BEER BECAME OREGON’S FIRST NATIVE STYLE. P. 25

Oregon landlords have the legal right to raise your rent by 14 percent, 18 percent, or 500 percent, provided they give you 90 days’ notice to find other accommodations. Worse, we’re expecting 200,000 new residents in the next 20 years. The many plans to deal with this all have one thing in common: They focus on increasing the housing supply. But what about the demand side of the equation? Can’t we do something to reduce the number of people who want to move here? SUPER CONTEST ANNOUNCEMENT! Regular readers may be familiar with my “Make Portland Shitty Again” initiative, which solves our housing crisis by making Portland a less appealing place to live. (God knows I do my part.) Now I’m building a prospectus of reasons not to move to Portland, and I need your help. Send me your most convincing slams on the Rose City. Best entry receives our top prize: a seat on the City Council!* *Just go to City Hall, enter the council’s chambers, and act like you know what you’re doing. If anyone asks, say you’re Dan Saltzman; nobody knows what that guy looks like. QUESTIONS? Send them to dr.know@wweek.com

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really been on the radar for most people,” says City Commissioner Steve Novick. “On their face, the results don’t give us clear-cut direction as to ‘this is what the package should be,’ but it certainly gives us food for thought.”

The eﬀort to recall Senate President Peter Courtney (D-Salem) has failed. Earlier this year, Matt Geiger, a former GOP House candidate from Woodburn, launched

a recall campaign against Courtney, who ﬁrst won election in 1980 and is the Legislature’s longest-serving member. Geiger claims he fell just short of the 4,800 signatures required to put the recall on the ballot. “We were close,” Geiger says. Courtney, who will celebrate his 73rd birthday Saturday, says he’ll continue to work hard: “It’s the only way I know how to serve.” W W S TA F F

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The Oregonian has begun rebuilding its staff—it welcomed three new reporters in the past couple of weeks— and newsroom morale after years of buyouts. But one feel-good initiative, a May 31 cake-and-coffee gathering to recognize outstanding staff performance, went awry. The Multnomah County Health Department is now investigating a potential norovirus outbreak after at least 14 people came down with stomach pain and severe diarrhea after the event. The county sent samples of the cake to a laboratory for testing, according to health department spokeswoman Julie Sullivan-Springhetti. “One person did test positive to norovirus,”SullivanSpringhetti says, referring to the stomach-flu-like ailment sometimes called “cruiseship disease.” As The Oregonian has reported, norovirus and other food-borne disorders are increasingly common. “It was definitely unfortunate,” Oregonian Editor Mark Katches says in an email. “But it won’t stop us from doing these types of celebrations in the future.”

NEWS

WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS WEEK

M AYA S E T T O N

How many Portland Harbor ﬁsh you can safely eat each year by 2046.

JAMES MACKENZIE

SIGN O’ THE TIMES

Fishes and Loathing Last week, the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency unveiled a long-awaited plan to clean up the Portland Harbor—and was met with disgust from environmental watchdogs. It might seem strange that environmentalists would be unhappy about finally getting a federal plan to clean up one of the most polluted places in Portland—the Superfund site on the riverbed of the Willamette. To understand why, look no further than the fish living in the harbor: carp, smallmouth bass, bullhead and crappie. Those fish dine on invertebrates living in river sediment—dirt tainted with toxic chemicals, including arsenic, mercury, and even perchlorate, the main ingredient in rocket fuel. A 2009 study found that, in many scenarios, people eating fish from the harbor face cancer risks as much as 100 times higher than the EPA’s guidelines (“What the Muck,” WW,

March 27, 2012). The EPA suggests people eat no more than five Willamette River fish a year. Cami Grandinetti, manager of the EPA’s regional Superfund remedial cleanup program, says that by the time the proposed cleanup is completely finished—an estimated 30 years from now, in 2046—citizens should be able to eat 20 harbor fish per year without elevated cancer risk. But environmentalists are angry because the EPA’s plan— which would cost $750 million—would mean perpetual limits on fish consumption. “They’re trying to make the case, ‘Oh, well, there’s some contaminants upstream that mean that we can never lift the fish advisory,’” says Travis Williams, executive director of Willamette Riverkeeper. “They have very little data to show that. I mean, paltry amounts of data.” BEN STONE.

Hundreds of people gathered in front of Northwest Portland dance club Embers and at Tom McCall Waterfront Park on June 12, lighting candles to express sympathy and solidarity with the 49 people killed in a mass shooting at a gay bar in Orlando, Fla., earlier that day. Many of the more than 800 people who attended Portland vigils came bearing handmade signs, like the one above. For more pictures from the vigils, see page 31 and visit wweek.com. ENID SPITZ.

$ $

East Portland Isn’t Pumped East Portland is a land of cars. Judging from last month’s election results, it’s also a place that detests the city’s new gas tax. The 10-cent-per-gallon tax squeaked by 52 percent to 48 percent, one of the closest finishes on the May 17 primary ballot. A new map of precinct-level results shows the $64 million measure won despite a miserable performance east of I-205. In no East Portland precinct did the tax get more than 44 percent

of the vote. In some precincts, it received as little as 21 percent. Aaron Brown, manager for the yes campaign, notes the results came despite earmarks about $16 million for spending on projects in the areas where results were the poorest. “I wasn’t expecting East Portland to vote for the tax in massive numbers. I’m just thrilled it passed,” Brown says. “Now it’s time to build some trust.” NIGEL JAQUISS. FOR

AGAINST

Willamette Week JUNE 15, 2016 wweek.com

v. k a p o o r

NEWS In Mexico, he teamed with other young people and eventually made it close to the U.S. border, where he hailed a taxi to take him as close as possible. The driver at first said the ride would cost $30. A few minutes into the ride, he demanded $50. Then, pulling a gun, he robbed Billal of all the remaining money in his pockets. “I just gave it to him,” he says. One U.S. agency, the Office of Refugee Resettlement, welcomed Billal as a minor after he crossed into Brownsville, Texas, then ushered him to a youth shelter in Chicago. He had no documentation of his age, but said he was 17. The rules for unaccompanied minors are different from those regulating adults entering the country. Children are sent to shelters and some are allowed to go to school while the government processes their cases. Adults typically go to detention centers, even if there’s a chance of staying. In Illinois, Billal was informed of his rights and told he could go to school if he moved to Portland—a destination city for unaccompanied minors for at least the past few years. He arrived in Oregon on Oct. 28. From the start, the country that welcomed him tried to get rid of him. The Department of Homeland Security initiated deportation proceedings against him. Part of that investigation: requiring him to make two visits to the dentist to take X-rays that federal officials thought might prove Billal was an adult. On Dec. 10, a caseworker delivered a message to Billal’s foster home. “Billal’s dental tests have come back, and he’s a TOOTHACHES: Billal, a refugee from Somalia, arrived in the United States grown man,” the caseworker said. without a birth certificate last year, when he says he was 17. Once settled in Gresham, he was ordered to undergo dental tests that the federal U.S. officials had sent Billal’s Portland X-rays to a San government itself has discredited. “I didn’t have a choice,” hetktktk says. PHOTO: Caption Antonio forensic odontologist, who ruled that Billal’s third molar development meant he was “20.40 years plus or minus 3.30 years,” meaning he could in fact be 17 but was more than likely over 18. The Texas dentist’s report concluded there was a 92.55 percent chance that Billal was over 18, throwing him into the more difficult position of pleading his case as an adult. Billal was sent to the Northwest Detention Center in Tacoma, Wash., an adult immigration prison. In sending him to the center, federal authorities had relied solely on the dental X-rays to determine he was over 18—a practice that runs counter to the federal government’s By BE T H S LOV I C bslovic@wweek.com imperfect or no documents. Their purchase on American own guidelines on radiography. The guidelines say the govsoil is tenuous: Many, like Billal, have little more than their ernment must have reasonable suspicion to order the tests. Billal returned home from school Dec. 10 to find his case- own story to offer as evidence they qualify for refuge. Also, the X-rays have to be used in conjunction with other worker in his bedroom, packing his stuff. At the same time, immigration officials face a difficult measures to determine a person’s age. “She was like, ‘Hurry up,’” he says. “I was just shocked.” landscape: Under competing political pressures, they must “Radiographs of a person’s bones or teeth,” a 2009 report The 17-year-old Somali refugee had arrived in the balance the rule of law with the humanitarian impulse to from the DHS’s Office of Inspector General reads, “cannot United States in August, with no family, no paper records, settle people from war-torn countries. produce a specific age due to a range of factors affecting an and only $100 hidden in his shoe. But no sooner had BilBut in Billal’s case, his lawyers say, the deck was stacked individual’s growth. These include normal biological varialal arrived in Gresham than his long solo journey to the against him because U.S. officials were using junk science tion, as well as cultural and ethnic differences.” U.S.—one that took him across three continents—came to that their own federal agencies had rejectThe same report estimated that a screeching halt. ed seven years ago to build a case against immigration officials requested at least “It scares me He had been accused of lying about his age when he him. one radiograph a day until the practice to thInk thIs entered the U.S., gaining special protections available only “It’s frustrating because there are laws was debunked. to children. in place, and they were overlooked,” says Guadarrama, Billal’s Portland immimIght happen The evidence against him? His dental records. Denisse Guadarrama, Billal’s pro bono gration attorney, says the government to another Billal was whisked to a federal detention center, where attorney in Portland. “It scares me to had no reason to suspect Billal lied he spent two months away from his Portland-area high think this might happen to another child. about his age, even if he had motivation chIld. he’s not school, friends and his Gresham foster mom. He’s not the first or the last kid to arrive to do so. It also failed to use any other the fIrst or “I can’t even describe it,” Billal says. “The lights were on without documents.” methods for determining his age. the last kId to 24 hours and there were no windows to see if it was day or DHS released Billal two months later, night.” Billal’s story is a familiar one in Oregon, on Feb. 4, 2016. On April 29, a federal arrIve wIthout A federal judge eventually sided with Billal, invalidating where last year 122 unaccompanied refujudge ruled the government had erred documents.” the findings of a Texas dentist, but Billal’s future remains gee children settled. WW is using only his in using the X-rays to determine his age. uncertain as he awaits a ruling on his request for a special first name. A lawyer for the U.S. Department of Jus—Denisse Guadarrama, Billal’s attorney juvenile green card. His Sufi Muslim father was murdered tice declined to comment. There’s never been an easy time to be a Muslim refu- when Billal was a young child, by someone Billal’s case is unusual beyond the gee in America. That was true even before Republican believed to be with al-Shabaab, the Somali terrorist organi- fact federal authorities broke their own rules. It’s also rare presidential nominee Donald Trump urged closing the zation. Fearing for her son’s safety, Billal’s mother sent him because Billal had attorneys. borders to all Muslim immigrants, and before last week- to Kenya. He then fled to live with an uncle in South Africa. There’s no public defender system for asylum seekend, when a nation already on edge awoke to horrifying Billal never had a birth certificate—a common occur- ers—whether they’re adults or children. Billal’s foster news from Orlando, Fla., where a U.S.-born son of Afghan rence in Somalia—but his mother told him that he was born mother succeeded in finding him pro bono attorneys, immigrants massacred 49 people at a gay dance club. The in May 1998. He lost touch with her years ago. including in Washington. “No matter your views on immiPortland refugee service agency that helps Billal is so In 2014, when Billal was 16, he says South Africa was gration policy,” says Tim Warden-Hertz, one of Billal’s concerned about drawing unwanted attention, it refused deporting Somalis and he feared being sent back. Last year, Washington attorneys, “the thought of a child being forced to be named in this story. he traveled to Brazil, where he began a monthslong journey to try to make a case for why they shouldn’t be sent back At a time of heightened security, Billal’s case illustrates by bus and airplane through South and Central America, into danger should trouble you.” the no-man’s land faced by immigrants who arrive here with with the United States as his hoped-for final destination.

Pulling Teeth

THE THREATENED DEPORTATION OF A SOMALI REFUGEE FROM GRESHAM SHOWS THE DIFFICULT TESTS FACED BY MANY IMMIGRANTS.

Willamette Week JUNE 15, 2016 wweek.com

cc/ Wfiu public radio/flickr

NEWS

change of plans: national public Radio canceled a scheduled speech by correspondent Mara liasson to the oregon Business alliance, a lobbying group fighting a corporate sales tax on the november ballot.

Broken Pledge

NPR CANCELS A TOP CORRESPONDENT’S SPEECH TO A LEADING FOE OF OREGON’S PROPOSED $3 BILLION TAX INCREASE. By Be n Sto n e

bstone@wweek.com

On May 5, the Oregon Business Association announced it had secured a famous voice to address its annual Statesman Dinner in Portland. Mara Liasson, national political correspondent for National Public Radio, would deliver an Oct. 20 speech titled “Making Sense of the American Political Cyclone.” But soon it was Liasson, a 27-year NPR veteran who served as White House correspondent for eight years, who was caught in a whirlwind. Less than a week after OBA announced the speech in a press release and on social media, NPR abruptly canceled it, after receiving a complaint from the president of Oregon Public Broadcasting. NPR’s standards editor, Mark Memmott, told the business group Liasson could not appear because NPR prohibited employees from delivering paid speeches to organizations that do political advocacy. Two members of OBA’s board, speaking to WW on condition of anonymity, say Memmott told the business group that its

lobbying on one issue in particular had troubled NPR enough to pull Liasson. That issue? Initiative Petition 28, the November ballot measure that would raise $3 billion a year in new taxes on corporations with Oregon sales of more than $25 million a year. OBA is organizing business opposition to the measure. Liasson, OBA president Ryan Deckert

The cancellation was triggered by a complaint from OPB CEO Steve Bass. OPB is a member station of NPR, paying fees to broadcast its national programming. Bass says he learned about Liasson’s speech from a mass email, and wrote to NPR asking why it hadn’t notified OPB about Liasson’s speech to a lobbying group. “I didn’t mention IP 28 specifically,” Bass says, “but did say that there could be issues on the ballot on which OBA would be actively engaged.” The cancellation is significant for at least two reasons. First, it suggests how fraught the emerging battle over IP 28 has already become. Second, it raises questions about the standards NPR has for when and where its personalities can give paid speeches. The OBA, a bipartisan lobbying group founded in 1999, includes leaders of the state’s largest companies, including Intel and Nike. Its annual Statesman Dinner has a history of distinguished speakers, including former U.S. Sen. John Edwards (D -N.C.), House Speaker Paul Ryan (R-Wisc.) and former Secretary of Education Arne Duncan. The group is leading the fight against IP 28—a battle that pits business leaders against labor unions, which back the initiative. OBA will help raise a $20 million war chest to oppose the measure, which would impose a gross receipts tax on corporations that generate more than $25 million a year in Oregon sales. The tax will raise $3 billion a year. Experts anticipate total spending on both sides of the measure could surpass $30 million, which would make it the most

“We never announce a speaker—ever—that We don’t have Written confirmation or a signed contract With.” —OBA President Ryan Deckert and an NPR spokeswoman all declined to comment on the reason the speech was canceled or how much she was to be paid. NPR spokeswoman Isabel Lara initially told WW that Liasson had declined OBA’s invitation to speak, but Deckert says they had a deal. “We never announce a speaker—ever—that we don’t have written confirmation or a signed contract with,” he says.

expensive ballot measure in Oregon history. The cancellation highlights the potential ethical pitfalls of journalists giving paid speeches. “It may be common, or is certainly becoming common, for media ‘personalities’ to give paid speeches for politically inclined organizations,” says Tom Bivins, who teaches media ethics at the Univer-

sity of Oregon. “However, if one considers oneself a journalist, one should tread very cautiously in these areas.” NPR’s ethics handbook says correspondents can “accept honorariums, paid travel and meals for speaking engagements and awards ceremonies, but only from educational or nonprofit groups not engaged in significant lobbying or political activity.” Lara, the NPR spokeswoman, says the policy applies only to paid, not unpaid, speeches. Nevertheless, Shankar Vedantam, an NPR science correspondent, was paid to give the keynote address at OBA’s Statesman Dinner in 2014. (Vedantam’s 2014 speech came just weeks before voters rejected Measure 90, the open-primary ballot measure that was a top priority for the OBA.) And Liasson has given speeches in recent years to at least six organizations that spend large amounts on lobbying. She was paid to deliver at least one of those speeches—given to the National Potato Council in February, according to a representative of the organization. The council has a political action committee and lobbies consistently for political causes. In 2011, according to NPR’s own reporting, the potato council waged a fight against the U.S. Department of Agriculture’s plan to limit potatoes in school lunches, and between 2013 and 2015 it spent a combined $620,000 lobbying for reform in agriculture, the food industry, trade and immigration. When presented with evidence that Liasson had previously made other speeches to lobbying groups and Deckert’s assertion that the OBA had a signed contract with Liasson, NPR refined its story. Lara, the NPR spokeswoman, says the vetting process at the radio nonprofit has been inconsistent. “Ms. Liasson has a speakers’ agency that sometimes books speaking engagements for her,” Lara says. “There have been times when the agency has booked events and she did not put them through the NPR review process. We are taking steps to ensure that will not happen again.” On June 14, the OBA announced Liasson’s replacement for the Statesman Dinner: Ron Brownstein, political director of magazine publishers Atlantic Media Company.

Willamette Week JUNE 15, 2016 wweek.com

CHRISTINE DONG

Life

IN THE

NUMBERS 12

Willamette Week JUNE 15, 2016 wweek.com

“This Is the New That” WHY WE DEDICATED AN ISSUE TO THE NEIGHBORHOODS THEY CALL THE NUMBERS.

f you find yourself in the middle of Portland, the best broasted chicken in town can be found at Reel M Inn, a small video poker dive amid the fancy restaurants of Southeast Division Street. On a weeknight, you might run into the brewer from Breakside slathering jojos in hot sauce next to a well-known art critic. East of I-205, the best broasted chicken comes from a strip-mall video poker dive at Stark Street and 105th Avenue called Sadie Mae’s (see page 24). It’s the same chicken—the two spots have the same owner, supplier and recipe. But very few of the customers are the same—at Sadie Mae’s on a recent Friday night, blacks, Asians, whites and Latinos showed up in nearly equal numbers. The clientele is far less diverse on Division Street. “There are some people who go to both places, but not many,” said our bartender, who’s worked both spots. “But the way things are going, this is the new that.” Statistics back him up. People are moving to Portland faster than we can build new apartments, and rents are rising faster here than anywhere else in the country, according to a September study. An economist told The New York Times this month that Portland shouldn’t expect that to stop anytime soon. When the rent gets 2 damn high, people go out to what the kids call “The Numbers.” The long-maligned 80ish blocks between I-205 and Gresham are home to many, many strip malls, but the area may also be beginning its own renaissance—think of it as our Oakland. Believe it or

not, the area already claims 21 percent of the city’s population—only 7,000 fewer than live west of the Willamette River. Home sale prices are now rising faster there than in Portland as a whole (see page 15). It’s easy to forget that much of what we now call East Portland wasn’t even part of the city until the 1980s, when the city began to annex the many neighborhoods between I-205 and Gresham. This came as a disappointment for many in the area. Resentment lingers, and two East Portlanders tried to organize a secession effort in 2014, citing broken promises and neglect by the rest of the city. And that’s all true—East Portland remains underserved by City Hall and by Portland media. We’re certainly guilty of some level of neglect in our week-to-week coverage. Sure, we’ll hop by our favorite taqueria (page 22) for our annual Cheap Eats issue, or hit the rail at Pitiful Princess (page 29) for our Strip Club Guide, but until this issue we hadn’t been to the cool hookah nightclub on Powell (page 28) or the far Northeast location of West Burnside’s most notoriously drunken dive bar (page 19). We found the remnants of the area’s once-rollicking country scene (page 17), a butte that rivals Mount Tabor in its beauty (page 21), not to mention Mexican (page 24) and Russian (page 23) eateries and oldtime corn-dog joints (page 24) that rival any in town. East Portland is the future. It’s younger, it’s more diverse, and it’s about to become a lot more central to what we talk about when we talk about Portland. Here’s your primer.

THE NUMBERS 30B NE San dy Blvd .

Wooden Chicken Pub, 12500 NE

Sandy Blvd. Portland’s finest home for fans of stained glass and 84 the 49ers, page 19

Gateway Breakfast House, 11411 NE

Tienda de Leon,

Halsey St. Obama ate here, page 24

16223 NE Glisan St. The humble nopales salad some of Portland’s fanciest chefs drive miles to try when they’re not working, page 22

NE Halsey St.

SE 102nd Ave.

Sadie Mae’s, 10530

SE Washington St. Reel M Inn’s fried chicken in a Gateway strip mall, page 24

Division Halal , Kelly Butte,

SE 112nd Ave.

SE 103rd & Clinton A secret military bunker inside a longextinct cinder cone, page 20

12659 SE Division St. Fresh-baked Turkish flatbread straight out of a tandoor oven, page 26

SE Division St.

SE 148nd Ave.

SE 122nd Ave.

205

E Burnside St.

Duke’s, 14601 SE Division St.

The last monument to Portland’s once-legendary East County country scene, page 17

Lux 26 Hookah Bar, 12436 SE Powell Blvd. The hippest nightclub in Portland that doesn’t serve a single drink, page 28

Willamette Week JUNE 15, 2016 wweek.com

crash corners 7 OF THE 10 MOST DANGEROUS INTERSECTIONS IN PORTLAND ARE EAST OF I-205

INNER NORTHEAST

87.9%

INNER SOUTHEAST

77.2%

NORTH PORTLAND

73.5% EAST PORTLAND

49.6% 0%

20%

40%

60%

80%

100%

(Crash Corners, Sidewalks Source: Portland Bureau of Transportation)

Percentage of eastsIde Streets with Sidewalks

NUMBER WEST OF I-205 IN PORTLAND: 23 NUMBER TO THE EAST: 43

(Source: Oregon Manufactured Home Park Directory)

Trailer Parks

130 in Portland

Willamette Week JUNE 15, 2016 wweek.com

East of I-205

(Source: Portland Water Bureau)

Estimated total Benson Bubblers

22%

Percentage of people living west of the Willamette River in Portland, 2014

21%

Percentage of people living in East Portland, 2014

132,475 total

125,753 total

east portland is... younger poorer

Percentage under 18 in Portland: 19%

15.3%

Percentage under 18 in East Portland: 24%

8.6%

Number of languages spoken by the students of David Douglas High School, on SE 135th Ave: 49

12.1%

2.6% 1.3%

Median household income, Portland: $53,230

1.3% PACIFIC ISLANDER 2.6% NATIVE AMERICAN 8.6% BLACK 12.1% ASIAN 15.3% HISPANIC OR LATINO 61.5% WHITE

Median household income, East Portland: $42,271

more diverse

Percentage of Portland’s population that’s nonwhite: 28.2%

61.5%

Percentage of East Portland population that’s nonwhite: 38.5%

*2014, most recent reported (Source: David Douglas School District) (Sources: U.S. Census estimates based on surveys for five-year periods ending in 2009 or 2014; as well as the 2000 Census)

population of east portland

Total exceeds 100% because of overlapping racial and ethnic identities

73%

Overall increase in median sale price since Jan. 31, 2012 in Portland.

$158K

2012

$190K

2013

$200K

2014

81%

Increase during the same period in East Portland

$235K

2015

$259K

2016

East Portland median residential sale price (based on the last quarter of each year and of the quarter ending April 30, 2016)

Crime 36% MURDERS 32 of 88 murders in the city

For the nearly four years between April 2011 and February 2015, East Portland reported:

34% VEHICLE THEFTS

40%

4,076 of 12,062 vehicle thefts in the city

PROSTITUTION

35% KIDNAPPINGS 102 of 289 kidnappings in the city

292 of 736 cases of prostitution in the city

34% WEAPONS CRIMES 570 of 1,682 weapons crimes in the city

Willamette Week JUNE 15, 2016 wweek.com

(Sources: Portland Police Bureau, Neighborhood Crime Stats.)

Real Estate Upswing

(Source: Redfin data, based on the quarter ending on Jan 31, 2012; most recent information is from April 30, 2016)

EAST PORTLAND ALMANAC 15

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E M I LY J O A N G R E E N E

OUR FAVORITE JUKE JOINTS, SPORTS HANGS AND DANCE FLOORS IN EAST PORTLAND

SE 146TH AND DIVISION

The LasT Cowboy bar

East Portland used to be the rollicking home of honky-tonk country in Portland. Now there is Duke’s. It’s a sweltering Saturday evening in Portland, and Chad Williams is onstage at Duke’s Country Bar & Grill on Southeast Division Street, in front of a wall-sized American flag, singing what everyone’s thinking—at least, everyone wearing Stetson hats and Wrangler jeans, and probably the members of the bachelorette party sipping cocktails through penis-shaped straws. “Feels like a good night for a walk in the dirt/ A good night for a dive in the lake/ A good night for a roll in the hay/ Hey hey heyyyyyyyyy!” A local boy with scruffy facial hair and a long ponytail pulled through a mesh hat, Williams embodies the modern-country gospel of trucks, Milwaukee’s Best and girls in bikinis, and while his heavy twang and hard-rock riffs might seem out of step with the culture of Portland proper, they’re right at home at Duke’s, country’s last remaining temple east of I-205. The list of names who’ve stood on that same stage read like a CMAs guest list: Miranda Lambert, Gretchen Wilson, Lady Antebellum, Eric Church, Florida Georgia Line, Kacey Musgraves. On Halloween night in 2006, a young Taylor Swift opened for Floridian heartthrob Jake Owen, and the crush she developed that evening purportedly inspired her early crossover single, “Sparks Fly.” Sometimes, the biggest stars in the business stop in while passing through on tour, just to grab a drink.

“Toby Keith walked through the front door like he was a regular customer,” says Duke’s co-owner Jeff Plew. “I know a lot of the record reps, and I said, ‘Why didn’t you call us?’ They’re like, ‘Toby just wanted to come down.’” A native of Northeast Portland, Plew spent his youth riding the bus to this part of town, back when it actually looked like the country. In the mid-20th century, this stretch of Division between 146th and 171st avenues, with Division Street Corral at one end and the Flower Drum on the other, was a shitkicker paradise, drawing the likes of Johnny Cash, Hank Williams and George Strait. As the area developed, though, whatever country scene Portland once had was forced to even farther edges of the city, to the Ponderosa near Delta Park and Bushwhackers in Tualatin. A fire closed the Corral in 1979. In the ’80s, Fred Meyer bought the property where the Flower Drum once stood. The owners changed the name to the Drum and moved across the street, where it continued to serve a dwindling clientele through the turn of the millennium. In 2001, Plew and his partners at Concept Entertainment bought the Drum, initially shifting the focus to Top 40. At the time, country was at a low ebb of popularity, and Plew didn’t see it as a viable format. Gradually, he began to notice a shift in the culture at large. “You saw the integration of rock into country, and that’s when it became main-

stream again,” he says. “Before, it used to be just country and western. Now the genre is wide.” In 2004, Plew rebranded his business as Duke’s, putting in a large dance floor and filling up the calendar with line-dancing classes. (He also had a mechanical bull, but he sold it after insurance rates got too high.) Among the various beer swag on the walls, a neon sign reading “Welcome to the Drum” nods to the building’s history. Chad Williams’ brand of country might not be recognizable to those who frequented the Drum and the Division Street Corral in the ’60s, ’70s and ’80s. But for Plew, being able to return some semblance of the music that once defined the neighborhood is a point of pride. “It’s the passion of my life,” he says. “To go there as a 21-, 22-year-old, and then turn it around and make it a full circle back to country was exciting for me.” MATTHEW SINGER. GO: Duke’s Country Bar & Grill is at 14601 SE Division St., 503-760-1400, dukesbar.com. 5 pm-midnight TuesdayWednesday, 5 pm-2:30 am Thursday-Sunday. Live music Tuesdays and most weekends, DJs and dancing on Wednesdays and Thursdays. CONT. on page 19

Willamette Week JUNE 15, 2016 wweek.com

LOVE TO HEAR LIVE MUSIC? MUSIC BY THE PEOPLE FOR THE PEOPLE Join Make Music Day PDX to celebrate live performances of music of all genres played at 21 venues around Portland on June 21.

Check out the venues, times, and performing musicians at makemusicdaypdx.org. Media Sponsor: Willamette Week

Willamette Week JUNE 15, 2016 wweek.com

17238 SE Division St., 503-760-4454. A country bar in form more than function, the Lariat Tavern beckons with its light-up sign of a cartoon cowboy whirling a lasso above his head, but the only spurs you’re likely to see are hanging on the walls, along with a horse saddle, replica steer horns and all manner of beer swag. Walking into the small, lowslung, wood-paneled saloon does feel a bit like stumbling into a roadside tavern in middle-of-nowhere Texas after your car breaks down, though. Regulars slouch elbow to elbow at the bar watching baseball and MMA, or playing pool, or video poker. Everyone is waiting on a plate of fried chicken to emerge from the kitchen and drinking cans of Coors Light, and you feel like you’re going to get side-eyed if you order anything fancier than that. But it’s comfortable enough to feel like, if your car really did break down out here, you could get used to it. MATTHEW SINGER.

Bridge City Taproom

620 SE 122nd Ave., 971-202-7267 The beer list inside the former Dog House Saloon, between Fabric Depot and Mr. Peep’s Peep Hole, boasts arguably the best beer offerings in East Portland—with happy hours that might include $3.50 pints of Hop Venom, Barley Brown’s Pallet Jack and Pfriem wit until 7 pm. Food offerings are only a little less generous, including a half-dozen wings for $6 and linguine in white clam sauce for $9. The wings were light on sauce, but otherwise respectable. Settle in to watch the game—there’s a row of screens in every direction—and get some cheap and crafty beers. MARTIN CIZMAR.

Tony’s Tavern East

10524 NE Sandy Blvd., 503-252-1887. Tony ’s Tavern is West Burnside’s mighty alcoholic liver—a jukebox dive processing every alcohol-stunned piece of humanity in the district. It’s not the sort of place you’d imagine to be a chain, and yet…here we are, in a little box on Sandy Boulevard that is also dirt-cheap–especially during the bar’s six-hour “happy hour” till 7:30 serving up $2.75 wells. There’s a lovely jukebox playing real albums, and the bar is full of old men who really want to talk or can’t really talk at all. The eastside location is much less adorned than Tony’s West—and being newer, it’s much cleaner—but otherwise, it’s like stepping into drunken Portland’s dirty mirror. MATTHEW KORFHAGE.

Wooden Chicken Pub

12500 NE Sandy Blvd., 503-253-8893, woodenchickenpub.com. If East Portland has a nightlife district, it is Parkrose, a onetime German enclave now home to countless giant neon signs advertising roadhouse bars smaller than the signs, from Bill’s Steak House to Katie’s Backyard to Nick’s Parkrose Pub. But if there’s one bar to rule them all, it’s the

always-packed chicken shack and party bar Wooden Chicken Pub, a hardwood sports hall for the 49ers faithful with pool tables stretching out like the greens of a putt-putt course, $7.50 pitchers of Bud at happy hour, a hundreds-strong phallic menagerie of tap handles apparently brought in by customers, and at least one regular so regular he sends Christmas cards with nearly naked photos. “Does his wife mind that he keeps sending those?” we asked. “Pretty sure she took the pictures,” said the bartender. MATTHEW KORFHAGE.

E M I LY J O A N G R E E N E

The Lariat Lounge

Boss Hawg’s Bar ’n’ Grill

617 NE 102nd Ave., 503-252-4647, bosshawgsbarandgrill.com. Despite its corrugated-metal Texas roadhouse exterior emblazoned with images of an angry Beaver and Duck, Boss Hawg’s is perhaps a perfect old-man and day bar. It is a dimly lit, sprawling, almost domesticfeeling place with all-day breakfast, including $3.95 Hawg McMuffins, and a cozy patio with a fireplace and a little stone water fountain as if it were on the deck of every suburban dad. Inside, Stella Artois is served at exactly 37 degrees, out of a spaceage tap that looks like it was designed by Stanley Kubrick. “Oh, that?” the bartender says. “Our owner likes to get fancy sometimes.” The bar’s Hawgarita machine was broken on our visit or we would have stayed even longer. MATTHEW KORFHAGE.

Papa-Son’s

12525 SE Powell Blvd., 503-761-4641. From the outside, Papa-Son’s looks like a German beer hall. Inside, the brightly lit, wood-paneled space offers a host of neighborhood regulars playing pool or ponied up to the bar, plus printed lists of rules entreating patrons to please not fight. A much more cheery sign lists the “all day every day” specials that count up from $1 Jell-O shots to $4 white Russians to the special board’s pinnacle, a $6 Long Island iced tea. The music went everywhere from Ke$ha to death metal, and the crowd is equally diverse. But when we arrived on a recent Friday at 11 pm, the first thing anybody did was offer to sell us a bunch of tube socks for $5. For that price, we’d recommend you go for a Jägerbomb off the specials board. Consider Papa-Son’s a worthy first stop if you’re heading to the non-drinking hookah nightclub across the street. ALYSSA WALKER.

Bar 108

10845 NE Halsey St., 503-255-8833, bar108pdx.com. A sign taped to Bar 108’s door kindly asks that patrons not wear hats, or bandanas, or jackets, or all sorts of things that might lead you to believe you’re in for a rough crowd. But within, Bar 108 is a mix of Bud Light, boba tea and fluorescent fishbowl cocktails, with a nightclubby environment framing what seems to be more of a chill hang for a mostly Asian crowd—with Vietnamese fish-sauce wings, pho and yum nuar on the bar menu next to the hamburger. On our visit, most of the action was at the pool

LUNA AZUL

1721 SE 122nd Ave., 503-954-3128. The name sounds like a resort with cabanas, and that’s essentially what this restaurant/club/quinceañera is for East Portland. The Mexican restaurant is an oasis of bright disco lights at night and pepper-flecked family meals by day. The seafood stew comes in a massive bowl with crab legs hanging over the rim, and the shrimp and fish are stewed in red Cuban spices, plated with fried plantains and served with heads and eyeballs intact. But forget food after 9 pm on weekends, when the DJ reigns supreme. Fridays are for karaoke that splits time between Spanish and English, and Saturdays are for dance-club salsa—but no one will stop you from dancing or singing along on any night. In fact, wallflowers should expect to be pulled into the disco lights by fasttalking girls in tight, white pants and sky-high heels, or guys in tight, white tees and slicked hair. Get your liquid courage from margarita specials or the house cocktail, an icy-blue drink resembling an AMF inboth flavor and hue. ENID SPITZ.

tables and on the porch. We’ve seen evidence of more crowded nights, and there’s a stage in the main “fireplace room” with a little cutout mic stand. But when we asked what the stage was used for, the bartender cheerily told us nothing at all. MATTHEW KORFHAGE.

Clamity Jae’s

10805 NE Halsey St., 503-257-4939. Ever feel a little cramped in Portland bars? Might I recommend Clamity Jae’s (note: not Calamity Jane’s, and yes, it does serve breaded clams), a big ol’ warehouse of a bar that nonetheless offers the comforts of deep, cushy booths and big round tables fit for a blue-collar King Arthur. The rules are clearly stated on the door—cannabis will get you “86’d for life” and you should “pull your pants up or don’t come in” as a way of demonstrating that you “have some decency and respect for yourself and others.” If you can pass these stringent guidelines—if you’re Clamity Jae’s material—you will be treated to both Blue Moon and Widmer Hefe. MARTIN CIZMAR.

The Pink Feather

14154 SE Division St., 503-761-2030, pinkfeatherrestaurantandlounge.com. It sounds like the name of a burlesque club, but the Pink Feather is really just your typical, old-fashioned, family-style diner with a backroom bar. One that’s decorated with velvet paintings that look purchased from the estate sale of a madame who died in the 1940s. With magenta furniture that

hasn’t been tended to since the Eisenhower administration. And a menu highlighted by broasted chicken. And an entertainment calendar featuring a summer luau, karaoke for kids, and the occasional Elvis impersonator. OK, so everything about the Pink Feather is pretty weird, in that gloriously unassuming way that can only happen in a part of town that has yet to be commodified—the kind of place where day-drunk 50-somethings dance around a standup fireplace to two guitarists playing drum machine-assisted classic rock covers, then nearly come to blows over an incident on the smoking patio involving a squirt gun. Don’t ever change, Pink Feather—not that there’s any chance of that happening. MATTHEW SINGER.

Rumpus Room

10555 SE Division St., 503-254-9212. This old-school dive bar has been around since 1972, and with its wood paneling and beige leather banquettes, pool tables and three screens showing sports, the decor doesn’t seem to have changed much since— aside from maybe a wall of video poker. But at 11 pm on a recent Friday, Rumpus Room was conspicuously lacking in rumpus. Only a handful of people had shown up for a karaoke night where patrons bring their own instruments—all-out jams happen Sunday. But that left a pair of shuffleboard tables— plus a karaoke setlist—wide open. Craft pints are $4.50, and pool and shuffleboard are free on Sundays and Tuesdays. Just stay far away from the $1 Jell-O shots. GRACE CULHANE. Willamette Week JUNE 15, 2016 wweek.com

COURTESY JEFF FELKER

WHERE TO PLAY IN THE NUMBERS

SE 103RD AND CLINTON

WHAT LIES BENEATH

Kelly Butte is Portland’s chamber of secrets. The 23-acre cinder cone in outer Southeast—a 900-foot pile of lava rubble atop an extinct volcano—looms ominously above I-205 and the Central Church of the Nazarene, accessible only by driving up an isolated stretch of 103rd Avenue. Whatever Portland does not want found seems to end up here. Over the past century, the Kelly Butte Natural Area has been home to a prison, a post-apocalyptic military bunker, an emergency call center, an underground homeless camp, an isolation ward hospital for dangerous diseases, and now—as of April 2015—much of the city’s water supply. Amid tree-lined paths and often startling natural beauty, much of the butte remains fenced off with rusty chainlink, visitors warded away by faded signs marked “No Trespassing” that are tacked mysteriously high in trees. And while you encounter very few hikers, you do find fast-food wrappers and spare socks, foreboding signs you’re not the only one who’s found their way uphill into air silent except for the soothing rush of the freeway and the occasional lone crow. “Some seriously odd chakra energy up there,” writes a reviewer on Google. “I think there is more on that hill than even God himself knows how to get past the pearly gates.” The history is equally haunted. Starting in 1906, much of Portland was built on the backs of Kelly Butte labor. A county judge got a prison built there so the inmates could 20

Willamette Week JUNE 15, 2016 wweek.com

COURTESY JEFF FELKER

Kelly Butte is home to Portland’s buried Cold War past.

crack the butte’s rocks to build roads all across the city to accommodate a new invention called the automobile. They continued their grim, backbreaking work for over 40 years until the prison was closed in the 1950s. A military civil defense bunker was instead carved into the butte, a cavernous 18,000-square-foot underground command center—with a 230-foot radio communication tower— meant to serve as Portland’s government headquarters in case of nuclear attack. It was used only once, in the 1957 Cold War movie A Day Called X. In 1974, it became instead the dreary home of Port-

land’s first 911 call center. But workers in the underventilated, windowless bunker began to suffer from nonspecific but persistent health problems—termed “sick building syndrome”—and it was finally shut down in 1994. Web historian and chiropractor Jeff Felker first encountered the bunker in 1984, when he delivered a pizza to the call center. “I was fascinated by the building,” he says. “After they closed it, it was occupied by the homeless for a while. The bums were living down there. They found the electrical cord [from the radio tower.] They ran an extension cord down into the bunker.” Reports of graffiti and vandalism escalated until the city finally sealed the bunker entirely in 2006, shoving tons of dirt over its top and bulldozing it down. Only the building vents are visible. But they, too, are filled in with dirt. “As a side note,” says Felker, “after they were using the bunker as the call center, they had a local artist come in and plant that big mural on there.” Famed Dutch artist Henk Pander—father of Portland underground comics and film artists the Pander brothers—painted a gigantic landscape within the bunker depicting Technicolor ruins, an almost tropical rendition of civilization long gone to hell. “They buried the painting with everything else,” Felker says. “It’s still down there.” MATTHEW KORFHAGE.

16160 SE Powell Blvd. At a stoplight marked only by a gas station, a road rises into cleaner pine air, arriving at Portland’s most breathtaking public park since…well, Mount Tabor. A visit means negotiating with the teens grimly vaping in the parking lot; they are, in their way, welcoming you to wonderland. The city’s easternmost Benson Bubbler water fountain (and another one for dogs) leads to paved, wheelchair-accessible trails that tangle into forested glens, grasslands where swifts whirl and dive, and a 360-degree lookout that showcases Mount Hood burning the color of a cherry Slurpee in the sunset. (Other awards this place deserves: best moonrise, best lover’s lane, best spot to smoke weed outdoors.) Powell Butte is the zenith of an untamed, inclusive, less homogenous Portland—the kind of location naysayers claim this city no longer nourishes. It’s the best money we ever spent. AARON MESH.

Jenne Butte Park

According to Google Maps, Jenne Butte—which straddles the border between Portland and Gresham—is located in someone’s driveway at the end of a cul-de-sac. One blogger’s dropped pin leads to the middle of an apartment building’s parking lot. This hike is almost impossible to locate without directions, so pay attention. Wander across the border of Portland to park at the Linnemann Station trailhead in Gresham, and walk west along the Springwater Corridor (a right turn if you’re facing the path from the parking lot). Walk under the Highland Drive overpass, and continue until you cross a bridge over Johnson Creek. The trail starts in about 50 feet on your left. Now you’re hiking up a butte! It’s an unmarked little gully that’s partially obscured by vegetation. Most of the hike is through thick greenery, so there’s not much of a lookout, but you’ll probably have the whole trail to yourself. Plus, the foliage provides welcome protection from the heat in Portland’s ever-warming summers. Just watch out for the occasional stinging nettle. GRACE CULHANE.

Parklane Park

Southeast 155th Avenue and Main Street. Parklane is not a special park at first glance. There’s a standard-issue play set on some woodchips, a standard-issue basketball court on some sort of red synthetic surface laid out in the middle of the grass. And then you notice something that separates East Portland from inner: the children. In inner-Southeast Portland, Colonel Summers Park is home to drunken and drugged adults playing Frisbee and Hacky Sack, while Laurelhurst Park is a minefield of twinned lovers sprawled atop each other like an acres-big lawn made of opium. But at Parklane—near the grade school of the same name—children play cruel and happy games. One kid sits on a smaller kid amid a pack of tiny people making the loudest sounds they know how to make, while their presumed tender tries desperately to read a magazine. What a world, in which children play in parks! MATTHEW KORFHAGE.

Glendoveer Golf Course

14015 NE Glisan St., 503-253-7507, oregonmetro.gov/parks. Golf is dying—fewer rounds are being played every year, and the average age of players is only getting older. Private courses are closing across the country as the resource-intensive sport fades. And yet, Glendoveer endures, recently surviving a plan to shave a few holes off the 242-acre complex, one of the largest parks in East Portland. Yes, in Portland, government-run golf courses are one of the last vestiges of Greatest Generation political power. Someday, it’ll be soccer fields and a giant skatepark. Until then, if you’re old enough to know how to hit a 200-yard drive instead of an ollie, come and enjoy it. It really is a beautiful course. MARTIN CIZMAR.

East Portland Community Center

740 SE 106th Ave., 503-823-3450, portlandoregon.gov/parks/60370. This community center isn’t at the center of any particular community—but it’s easily accessible by transit, it’s near the mall, and there’s a water slide, a rock wall, some basketball hoops and a big ol’ play set. The building

may look like a 1960s elementary school aside from the strange spire at its entrance, but when school lets out it will be packed as all hell with seemingly every unattended child within 60 blocks—especially since as summer hits, the center offers camps that double as really cheap babysitting, at about $10 for a full day if you enroll for both morning and evening sessions. MATTHEW KORFHAGE.

G6 Airpark

10414 SE Washington St., 503-255-3334, g6airpark.com. Your rambunctious 9-to-15-year-olds can wear themselves out on the wall-to-wall trampolines at G6 Airpark this summer. Though it is technically advertised as an all-ages recreation area, it would be unusual to find anyone old enough to drive hanging out there during the day, playing dodgeball with a bunch of middle-schoolers. For older crowds that really want to bounce around, you can always schedule a private party or show up late on a Friday night and go as hard as you want without fear of launching some child into the ceiling with your backbounce. RUSSELL HAUSFELD.

ED BENEDICT SKATEPARK

EMMA BROWNE

Powell Butte Nature Park

Southeast 100th Avenue and Powell Boulevard.

Ed Benedict is Portland’s only street-focused skatepark, and accordingly, it is filled with kickflipping teens pretty much all the time. There is a small transition section (a spot that goes from horizontal to vertical), but tweakers like to steal the pool edging, and the lack of decks makes it difficult to skate. If bowls are your pleasure, there are better options in the city. The skatepark is long and narrow with lots of banks, boxes and rails, but in true Portland fashion, everything is a bit weird. For skateboarders looking for the fun of street skating without the bust factor from police, Ed Benedict is your best bet. While anyone can find something to skate here—there’s plenty of flat and small features—the crowd tends toward the aggressive side, and they don’t take kindly to small children on scooters. BROOKE GEERY.

Luuwit View Park and Gateway Discovery Park

Luuwit: Northeast 126th Avenue and Shaver Street; Gateway: Northeast 104th Avenue and Halsey Street. Neither of these parks exist. But they will in summer 2017. They are Portland’s version of East Portland park reparations, a remedy to the dearth of tended greenspace. Gateway Discovery Park—at the edge of Portland’s new gentrification zone, near a confluence of freeways and MAX stops—will be some kind of wonderland. There will be canopies, a skatepark, a fountain of some kind, something called a “sand and water discovery center,” a performance space, a picnic grove, and a goddamn boulder hill. It’s like an Epcot version of a park. Luuwit View, meanwhile—named after the most obnoxious transliteration of the Klickitat word for Mount St. Helens— will contain an amphitheater with tiered rows of grass. Concept drawings show plenty of people doing yoga. However these parks actually end up getting used, the vision for them is…so upper-middle-class. MATTHEW KORFHAGE. Willamette Week JUNE 15, 2016 wweek.com

E M I LY J O A N G R E E N E

TACOS, BORSCHT, HAND-PULLED NOODLES AND THE BEST GERMAN POTATO SALAD IN TOWN SE 162ND AND GLISAN

Portland’s finest maker of guisados is finally pushing its family recipes to the fore.

Party in the Front 22

Willamette Week JUNE 15, 2016 wweek.com

For more than a decade, Tortilleria y Tienda de Leon has been the subject of almost cultish devotion, a hidden treasure at the exact border between Portland and Gresham whose name was passed on like a totem from food lover to food lover. The best Mexican food in town, they’d say. Have you been? Tucked into a Northeast Glisan Street strip mall whose marquee announces the presence of “CSL Plasma,” it’s easy to miss. And until recently, even when you walked into the shop, you wouldn’t see what made it so special. But Portland’s greatest guisados are finally stepping into the daylight. In February, de Leon manager Lucy de Leon renovated t h e 1 7- y e a r - o l d shop and put the food counter in its rightful place. The restaurant servi n g h e r f a m i l y ’s recipes is now the first thing to greet anyone coming into the store—the citric cochinita pibil from the Yucatan, carnitas that rank among the most tender and lovely anywhere near Portland, and the meltingly spicy pork nopales. For dedicated local food lovers, de Leon is hardly a secret. Naomi Pomeroy, the James Beard Awardwinning chef at Beast, is a fan of the nopales salad. Rodney Muirhead— chef at WW’s 2011 Restaurant of the Year, Podnah’s Pit—is a longtime lover of de Leon’s guisados, Mexican stews braised for hours and served with tortillas. You can order off the chalkboard, sure. But it’s better to just peer into the deli case and order whatever looks best. Depending on who’s working that day, there are special stews that never make it onto any menu. Each can be had for under $10 on a plate with rice, beans, fresh-made tortillas and salsa. After taking a class at Portland Community College to learn how to start the business, Lucy de Leon has also begun selling her family’s salsas

at New Seasons under the name Salsas Locas—and her tamales now show up in that store’s cold case. Killer Burger, Portland’s finest burger chain, asks de Leon to cater all of its holiday parties. Robo Taco and Muirhead’s La Taq both use her tortillas for their tacos. Meanwhile, customers who’ve heard about the shop have begun making pilgrimages from Astoria or British Columbia just to eat her food. It’s a long way from where the de Leon family started. When she was young, says Lucy de Leon, now 37, she often slept in a car. Originally from the Mexican border state of Tamaulipas, her father, Anselmo, worked the fields all across America as a migrant farmer. Ev e r y p l a c e t h e y went, her mother, Lusdivina, sold tamales and other foods to workers in the fields. “Oregon was the last state we stayed in,” says de Leon, who was born in the U.S. after her parents gained their citizenship in the ’70s. “My father always had a dream of having his own tortilla place, and so he sold his house.” She’s speaking in front of a massive and colorful mural—painted by her nephew Mario, whom she helped raise as her own—that depicts the family’s history, from Mexico to the fields to their arrival in Portland. On a graffiti-tagged sign marking the store’s location at the corner of Northeast 162nd Avenue and Glisan Street, Mario has drawn his own shoe hanging from the pole: a tatty Chuck Taylor All-Star. But now, Lucy de Leon says she’s considering expanding from that address to a more central Portland location, in a city whose options for authentic Mexican food are often very slim west of 102nd Avenue. “When I bring my kids downtown,” she says, “I hate to say it, but I go to Robo Taco.” MATTHEW KORFHAGE. GO: Tortilleria y Tienda de Leon, 16223 NE Glisan St., 503-255-4356, salsaslocas.com.

Simple ApproAch

Bold FlAvor

Roman Russian

10918 SE Division St., 503-408-7525. Mother Russia’s bosom embrace comes to life in this allpurpose deli. Cold cases stock a half-dozen types of pierogis, prepared stews, more sausages than your arteries can handle, and “herring under a fur coat” by the pound. There’s pickled fish, smoked fish, stewed fish and fish deep-fried with their heads and tails still on for 75 cents each. Women in long, floral dresses bustle around the labyrinthine rows of jams, pickles and baffling Russian ointments. Ask them what’s best, and take home an armada of deli containers from the smorgasbord of meats and beets. ENID SPITZ.

Traditional Russian

Southeast 102nd Avenue and Stark Street, 503-449-1531, pdxrussiancuisine.com. It isn’t easy to find this cart, which is hidden behind fences in a small pod at the intersection of 102nd and Stark. Hint: It’s across the street from a Starbucks, kind of. But a steaming takeout box of pelmeni covered in dill and spices ($7 for chicken, $8 for lamb) is worth a couple trips around the block. The traditional Russian dumplings are made for winter: They warm you up and inspire post-meal napping, if not a full hibernation. If you need more—and you won’t, but you’ll want more—the meat bliny ($5 for two pieces) is basically a tasty crepe filled with ground spiced meat. It strikes the perfect balance between sweet and savory. You may finish it in the car before you make it home. LIZZY ACKER.

vegan Friendly

HAPPY PRIDE PORTLAND!

open 11-10

everyday

500 NW 21st Ave, (503) 208-2173 kungpowpdx.com

Old Country Sausage Co.

10634 NE Sandy Blvd., 503-254-4106. Alongside its little grocery sporting the highest stack of Ritter Sport flavors anywhere in town, this little Germanfounded, Romanian-owned meat shop and deli offers a pleasant $6.75 schnitzelwich, plenty of sausage and some of the finest German potato salad in town. Get a Debreziner or Hungarian or (fairly mild ) hot bier sausage on a bun for a cool $5.75, top it with kraut and European mustard, and rest in memories of the Old World. But especially go for what’s maybe the only Romanian street food in town— little casing-free mici sausages from the motherland for $2 apiece. MATTHEW KORFHAGE.

Sa Bai Thai

4440 NE 131st Place, 971-229-1691. The outer reaches of Sandy Boulevard—at the border of manufactured homes and row houses and farm stands hawking Hood strawberries—seem an unlikely place to find some of Portland’s best family-style Thai, but Sa Bai Thai is serving curries with sweet, bright heat—in particular a panang curry with tender pork, coconut milk and fresh pungent spice, and a slightly fish-forward tom yum with an unholy wealth of herb and fresh veggies. It’s also perhaps the only family-run Thai-owned restaurant I’ve visited with a pair of farang manning the service slots— both, also, in the family of owner Wannaporn Chusri Olson. MATTHEW KORFHAGE.

Taipei Noodle Haus

11642 NE Halsey St., 503-206-5090, taipeinoodlehaus.com. One of my first and favorite food memories as a child is of noodles—majestically hand-pulled from sheets, a magical and impossible dinner theater I witnessed weekly at the once-wonderful Imperial Garden restaurant in Oak Grove. Funny to find out, lately, that the same family has threaded through Chinese food I’ve since loved at Chinese Delicacy on Southeast 82nd Avenue and now here at Taipei Noodle Haus in East Portland. Despite its TeutonicTaiwanese name, the spot’s influences are at the border of Chinese and Korean—but the specialty is, indeed, wonderful hand-pulled noodles, served out of a former sports bar still ringing with the sound of video poker. But, dear Lord, get the ja-jiang mein ($.9.25), a pile of beautiful, slightly CONT. on page 24

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M AT T H E W S I N G E R

TACOS, BORSCHT, HAND-PULLED NOODLES AND THE BEST GERMAN POTATO SALAD IN TOWN irregular, chewy, lovely noodles served with a sauce intimidatingly ink-black and goopy with bits of octopus. Within bites it will lose all unfamiliarity and become your only comfort—unless, that is, you opt for the dandan noodles ($7.95) or the chowma seafood noodle soup ($9.25). Unlike the crowd in the walled-off video poker room, on the noodles menu you always win. MATTHEW KORFHAGE.

Sayler’s Old Country Kitchen

10519 SE Stark St., 503-252-3171, saylers.com. Since 1948, this hulking East Portland steak house—it looks like the lobby of a Red Lion but has the community feeling of a summer camp that lasts forever—has offered a free meal to anyone who can eat an uninterrupted 4½ pounds of boneless, no-trim beef, accompanied by a nonsensical array of sides: two each of pickles, olives, carrots and celery, a piece of bread, 10 french fries, an onion ring, and a small bowl of ice cream. I have done it, and it will probably scar me in ways I have yet to recognize. But the mostly sexagenarian-plus customer base is more likely to do what the longtime regular next to me did: order a 40-ounce steak, then make three meals out of it. MATTHEW KORFHAGE.

Los Michoacanos

Southeast 148th Avenue and Stark Street. When I asked Jose Graciano, owner of this father-son taco cart—in a tire store parking lot, next to a hard-luck bar called Happy Landings—where he found good Mexican food locally, he said he didn’t eat anywhere else because his standards were too high. Then I ate his tacos and understood. This is the finest taco cart in all of Portland, from the perfect pickling on the carrot-free escabeche to the beautiful tortillas (made fresh daily by Las Cuatro Hermanas in Hillsboro) to the expertly seared finish on the lengua, the juicy and tender carnitas, the spice explosion of the al pastor, and—oh God—wonderful tripe and carne asada bursting with beef, and by far my favorite tender cabeza in the city. MATTHEW KORFHAGE.

Mi Pueblo

17466 SE Division St., 503-760-3666. If you’re a taqueria next to the marvelous Supermercado Mexico supermarket— which itself contains a taqueria—and yet you’re packed with diners at 3 pm on a Sunday, there’s a reason. It probably isn’t the “Dember Homelett,” a Latinized allAmerican breakfast I am eager to try one day. Though Mi Pueblo has family-style birria and enchilada plates and fried whole mojarra fish, what leaves me excited is the rare flat-top-seared crispness on its flavorful carnitas, the beautifully managed texture of its tripe, and the lovely corn flavor of its housemade tortillas. Those $1.25 tacos are excellent. Order a plate of three carnitas for under $5, and be well. MATTHEW KORFHAGE.

Willamette Week JUNE 15, 2016 wweek.com

Sadie Mae’s Deli

10530 SE Washington St., 503-257-0660. Down at Reel M Inn, the beers are still basic, the boxes of empty bottles still taking up two of the 20-odd chairs, and the lone bartender-cook-barback-server-cashier still has way too much to do. But the cramped Division Street dive isn’t what it was even five years ago—on my last visit, the place was packed with nattily dressed Golden State Warriors fans. Next time I want chicken and jojos during a ball game, I’ll drive out to Sadie Mae’s, the secret sister by Mall 205 where there’s still just one guy doing it all. It’s a spacious and half-empty bar where the stool next to you is occupied by a guy who looks like he just got done laying bricks all day. MARTIN CIZMAR.

RingSide Grill Glendoveer

Original Joe’s Deli

10200 NE Halsey St., 503-408-1362. Not to be confused with the bento-focused Original Joe’s at Jantzen Beach, or the now-shuttered original Original Joe’s on Southeast Powell, or the Bay Area franchise of the same name, this Original Joe’s serves all-American comfort food of the county-fair and sports-stadium variety: sloppy burgers, hot dogs drowning in their fixings, and their signature, hand-dipped corn dogs the size of a billy club. At a glance, you might assume the generic gray building was a convenience store or check-cashing place, and it’s not much to look at on the inside, either—linoleum floors, plastic covers on the tabletops, an arcade of video poker machines set off from the dining area—but it does what it does well, putting a twinge of nostalgia in every artery-stretching bite. MATTHEW SINGER.

Bora Bora

15803 SE Division St., 750-1253. Before Pollo Norte and Pollo Bravo and Polli-Tico, and long before Chicken and Guns, the only truly great slow-cooked, crispy-skinned, spice-rubbed Latin chicken was all east of I-205, whether at El Inka in Gresham or this taco truck fronted by a grill tightly packed with beautifully browning pollo al carbon massaged with Sinoloan flavors. A $20 bill is a ticket to an entire succulent chicken and sides—although you’d be a sucker to pass up lesser-seen items like the gooey-cheesed vampiros or ceviche freshened by an extra lime squeeze as you watch. Ever wonder where Mexican-born cooks working in other kitchens eat when they finish their shift? This is the spot. MATTHEW KORFHAGE.

Cruiser’s Drive-In

2515 SE 136th Ave., 503-761-1151. Cruiser’s has been cruising since the 1950s fetish of the 1980s—previously, it was Double E’s—and it has that oddly canned feeling of a replica, with checkerboard blue floors and pink walls and claw-crane toy machines. It’s a drive-in the same way Argentinian steak house Ox is: It has a parking lot. The Fantastic Burgers are thousand

island-smothered, with pickles and ham and an oddly crisped egg—a protein-piled trashiness that requires a certain amount of cultural memory to appreciate. But the softserve cones are really the reason you come in, “splashed” with flavors from caramel to blackberry to neon green green-apple and stacked to unholy heights. It’s wonderful. MATTHEW KORFHAGE.

Grant’s Philly Cheesesteaks

15350 NE Sandy Blvd., 503-252-8012. Before there was Grant’s Philly Cheesesteaks, there was Grant’s Philly Cheesesteaks. Long before Portland’s best Portland-style Philly hoagies showed up in Slabtown near our offices, we were making the long trek out to Portland’s far Northeast, where industrial workers from the airport warehouses line up single-file at a little red A-framed shack for cheesedrenched fries, fresh-made potato chips and that magical thin-sliced sirloin, Italian bread, peppers and cheese—provolone preferred, though whiz wit’ is always available. Pull a Coke out of the Coke fridge, walk out to a patio table, and relish one of Portland’s most brotherly experiences. MATTHEW KORFHAGE.

14021 NE Glisan St., 503-255-0750, ringsidegrill.com. Very few people know this, but there are some rich people out in Gresham. And when those rich people want a bloody steak after playing 18 holes, this is where they go. Originally branded RingSide East and mirroring the stuffy West Burnside steak house, this clubhouse restaurant at the county-run Glendoveer Golf Course rebooted last year. It’s now large and airy, though everything is wood, and that wood is dark. The more casual grill has a big beer list and a bargain happy hour, when a basic cheeseburger with chips is just $3.75 and steak bikes are $4.75. There’s no price break on the city’s most famous onion rings, which are always $10.50 and very good. MARTIN CIZMAR,

Gateway Breakfast House

11411 NE Halsey St., 503-256-6280, gatewaybreakfasthouse.com. Obama ate here, but should you? This old-school diner is like an eastern cousin to Hotcake House, and known for heaping portions of potatoes (hash browns or big, pale steak fries nearly the size of jojos) and cheap vittles. The tables have advertisements for hydroponics and auto parts on them, the servers have more tables than they can handle, and the plates come heavy. If you come on a weekend, expect to wait— Obama went on a Tuesday, and had split pea soup. MARTIN CIZMAR.

LivingWell Bistro

10000 SE Main St., 503-261-4422, livingwellbistro.com. Hot damn, the Adventists can make a TexMex taco. This cafeteria inside Adventist Medical Center behind Mall 205 dishes up vegan health-food fare that is as clean as its antiseptic setting. Quinoa and kale bowls are drizzled with nondairy ranch alternatives and stacked with tempeh. Rotating daily specials include “live tacos” with romaine for a shell or black bean patties sans bun. The Bistro hits the price point of a dive ($3-to-$8 specials), but looks like a cardiology waiting room and tastes like a co-op. Skip the pizzas—a cardboard pita with one or two veggies and a glob of “cheese”—and go for the quinoa salad, which could actually masquerade as Harlow fare. Sitting with doctors on their break, munching lentils in a spotless Panera look-alike—this could reverse clogged arteries. ENID SPITZ.

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M AYA S E T T O N

SHOP THE NUMBERS SE 126TH AND DIVISION

all the halal

For the thousands who’ve moved to Portland from Muslim countries, halal butchers and markets are a crucial lifeline not only to their homeland, but to simple sustenance. Comparable to kosher shops for observant Jews, halal butchers serve the only meat that devout Muslims in Portland are allowed to eat—not to mention some of the only decent places to get a leg of goat or lamb in this town, along with spices and sauces often not found elsewhere. And in East Portland, the home of the halal butcher is outer Southeast Division Street. From the intersection of Division and 122nd Avenue, you will find three halal markets in as many blocks—Division Halal Meat Market, Mingala International Market, and Tawakal Halal Grocery all cater to a highly multicultural population that includes immigrants from Somalia, Turkey, Afghanistan and Burma. The oldest and most comprehensively stocked of these is Mingala International Market (2548 SE 122nd Ave., 503-9541346), tucked away in a busy strip mall with a Pizza Baron and Final Table Poker Club. Owner Yusuf Iqbal started the store so he could bring in all the specialty fish pastes, fermented tea leaves, banana blossoms and other ingredients necessary for Burmese home cooking. He later began stocking products from across Asia, Africa and the Middle East to accommodate his neighbors, making his shop one of the most diverse in East Portland. There’s a cut-to-order meat counter where you may hear someone inquire about the price for a whole young goat, and a freezer stocked with fish, some of which look to be the size of a whole young goat. 26

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M AYA S E T T O N

The heart of the Muslim meat-packing district is on outer Division Street. Division Halal Meat Market (12659 SE Division St., 971544-7756, divisionhalalmeatmarket.weebly.com) started as a butcher shop in 2012, and last year added a bakery that makes khubz—the Arabic word for bread—which in this case is a spongy flatbread with charred bubbles of dough that comes from the inferno-hot tandoor oven. When possible, the market sources Oregon-grown and sustainably raised lamb, beef and goat from Springfield’s Mohawk Valley Meats. If you ask nicely, the shop will even make you a cup of profoundly rich Turkish coffee in a hammered copper pot called an ibrik. Tawakal Halal Grocery (12350 SE Division St., 503477-7203) opened in 2011, but was recently passed on to new owners from Burma—they’re still in the process of stocking shelves and refrigerators while waiting for their Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program certification, an essential credential in an often poverty-stricken neighborhood. But on our visit, they had a basket of the prickly and alien-looking balsam pear, okra and lemongrass, a dry goods section with a painter’s palette of dried lentils, plus handmade samosas and flaky Indian pastries called khaja, with plans to branch out into foods for the neighborhood’s Afghan and Somali populations. Most of the products at these shops will not fit neatly into a New York Times recipe, nor will you find them at New Seasons or Whole Foods. That’s exactly what makes them so vital. ZACH MIDDLETON.

R A C H A E L R E N E E L E VA S S E U R

Europa PDX

14643 SE Stark St. This brand-new, Albanian-owned market has its roots in Vancouver, where owner Sutko Gojak opened his first store. But the goods lean east all the way to Russia and the Middle East, with perhaps the most lovely selection of imported Eastern European sausages, pressmeats and liver-based foods in Portland, whether refrigerated or frozen. In the deli case, there’s an even rarer thing: fresh halva available by the gram, cake-high and quivering under the lights. MATTHEW KORFHAGE.

All American Magic Shop

The Barn Produce Market

5211 NE 148th Ave., 503-253-5103, thebarnproduce.com. Just south of Grant’s Philly Cheesesteaks’ hall of beef—near the airport, medical laboratories and the Multnomah County Republican office—is one of the region’s best seasonal produce markets. The Barn was established in the 1940s, and the riverside industry and residential district both later sprung up around it; the food still comes mostly from Sauvie Island fields and Hood River growers, or maybe the strawberry farms just to the north. Get the sweet white corn, cucumbers (or pickled cucumbers) and kraut cabbage (or pickled kraut)—and, oh Lord, the rhubarb. During the months it’s open, the Barn is perhaps the most reliable source of fresh-picked local produce. MATTHEW KORFHAGE.

A Bead Source

15831 SE Division St., 503-760-8964. In a little house painted neon yellow, with a tattoo parlor out back, A Bead Source is a hidden treasure box. Inside, endless tables of tiny beads will make your eyes cross, and strands in every color line the walls. Agate stones hang next to Swarovski crystals, pyramid beads from the Czech Republic, and rows of metal charms. This is no average bead shop: It is Portland’s best gem depository, where one room houses chains on huge spools, one displays a perplexing assortment of Native American tchotchkes like a leather-handled stone ax, and a house cat named Violet wanders around shoppers’ ankles. If you want your jewelry ready-made, go to the attached gift shop, opened last February, where beaded bracelets, pendants and sterling rings are spared the markup of Hawthorne’s shops. ENID SPITZ.

SUPERMERCADO MEXICO

17420 SE Division St., 503-477-5947. The two Supermercados Mexico bookending Portland—one in Gresham, one in Hillsboro—offer a vision of grocery shopping that’s a lot like a child’s birthday party. There’s impossibly sunny music, a wealth of piñatas and balloons, and a taco feed with a kickass salsa bar. The eastside location is the newest, most expansive, and most wonderful—making it the most wonderful grocery store in all of Portland, at any price point. It even has a little frutas stand in the back serving fresh fruits in a cup doused in lime and chili. Pick up some meat from a splendid case of cuts, stripped out for tacos if need be. Then order pollo al carbon, followed by a delicious tres leches cake straight out of the deli case. MATTHEW KORFHAGE.

CLIFFORD KING

9994 SE Washington St., 503-995-7379, magicpdx.com. A combination all-purpose magic shop, magic theater and emporium of esoterica, Mark Benthimer’s little store is the most dedicated purveyor of all things magical in Portland. It’s also the only dedicated magic shop in Portland. Benthimer is a nationally touring practitioner of the sleight-of-handed arts—his next magic show is June 18 at the next-door theater, with ventriloquist and shop partner Scott Davis—which means if you’re lucky, he’ll let you in on some secrets. But if not, there are plenty of books and kits, and fart jokes from whoopee cushions to fake poop. MATTHEW KORFHAGE.

Fabric Depot

700 SE 122nd Ave., 503-252-9530, fabricdepot.com. When the dusty Fabric Depot on North Lombard Street shut down, packing up its mothy upholstery fabrics and sun-faded circle skirts, few mourned. But this wondrous outer-eastside location is a world apart, easily eclipsing most Portland-area fabric stores in size and activity. Think of it as a Costco for crafters. The industrial warehouse-sized shop attracts everyone from bespectacled quilters who quibble over thread weights to 20-something moms in Kate Spade flats, and art school students. Suspended from the ceiling are prize-winning quilts and arrows to direct you between the massive sales and well-staffed cutting tables. On weekends, pristine sedans pack the lot, and women fill the attached classrooms for tutorials on “demystifying knits,” T-shirt pattern-making and DIY espadrilles. The Depot is Portland-famous for its “Fancy Forest” quilts, minimalist designs with twee foxes, owls and hedgehogs that look like Kinfolk Jr. ENID SPITZ.

Everyday Deals

600 SE 146th Ave., 503-477-8031. Want a literal gallon jug of A.1. steak sauce for $4.79? A huge box of granola or a pint of Greek yogurt for a dollar? More Butterfinger mini-cups than you could ever hope to eat for under $5? You come to Portland grocery liquidator Everyday Deals—which also has stores in Gresham and Vancouver—amid Russians and Latin American immigrants and a weirdly large number of bargain-hunting burners, where food that is almost out of date comes to be sold in ridiculous bulk, at prices that actually make you laugh out loud. A little taqueria called

FABRIC DEPOT

Lupita’s Deli serves excellent taco recipes alongside hotplate burritos for the gringos. MATTHEW KORFHAGE.

Disc Golf Depot

2410 SE 121st Ave., No. 214, 503-771-9900, discgolfdepot.com. Inside a “business complex” that looks more like a 1970s apartment complex—inside a shop the size of a garage, but no longer an actual garage—you can find more Frisbees, in more types and colors, than anywhere else you could reach without an airplane. Its somewhat taciturn owner, Jerry Miller, has spent 30 years building the sport of disc golf— and his son and daughter are also pro disc golfers. Which means if you need a disc, he’ll not only know which one, but he probably also stocks it in a color that matches your shirt. MATTHEW KORFHAGE. Willamette Week JUNE 15, 2016 wweek.com

THOMAS TEAL

WEED & STRIPPERS

SE 124TH AND POWELL

BaBy, pass me the hookah Wanna make something v tite? Why not try banning it? There’s probably a doctoral dissertation in the contemporary phenomenon of the hookah lounge club scene, which is a hot topic from Tampa to Seattle, where authorities are trying to Footloose ’em out of existence. Maybe it’s the ever-increasing ghettoization of tobacco (in Portland you can’t even smoke in a park), or maybe it’s the rise of vaping (it introduces people to the wonders of nicotine with none of the coughing or stank), or maybe it’s the nation’s generalized Islamophobia (see: Trump, Donald), but the hippest nightspots in America don’t even have booze right now. And so it is in East Portland. You can find the international youth trend—otherwise unknown in this city—out on Deep Powell. Inside 18-and-up club Lux Hookah Lounge, you’ll see a scene like something out of a Tyga video. This is a neighborhood where the parking lots are dusty gravel and the bewildered old neighbor men walk by either limping terribly or with big German shepherds on rope leashes while a flossedout Dodge Viper rolls up, attracting every single dude in the parking lot to run up on the car all smiles.

Willamette Week JUNE 15, 2016 wweek.com

THOMAS TEAL

Lux Hookah Lounge is maybe the coolest nightclub in Portland—without serving a single drink.

But past the bouncer who pats you down and the fashionably uninterested female clerk charging a cover via Square, you find a club with young people of all colors and creeds dancing to hip-hop of all vintages—DMX for the fellas, Brandon Beal’s “Twerk It Like Miley” for the ladies. The front room is full of dancing, while the quiet back room hosts a halfhearted pool game. There’s even that one dude in the couch section who doesn’t take the hookah hose out of his mouth while playing a soccer video game. For at least an hour. Lux was exceptionally chill, but this type of club is catching attention nationwide, cracked down on because of associations with gang violence. Baltimore limited hookah-bar hours after a rash of shootings. Seattle targeted its dozen hookah clubs after shootings. And after a shooting near Lux—and also near several other bars—on New Year’s Eve, news and police reports all mentioned the fight’s nearness to the hookah club. In Europe, Islamophobia has marginalized both Muslims and hookah culture. Portland can and should do better. Tobacco kills it. MARTIN CIZMAR. GO: Lux Hookah Lounge, 12436 SE Powell Blvd., 503-208-2629, luxhookahclub.com.

CAMERON BROWNE

Ascend

13836 NE Sandy Blvd., 503-432-8937, ascenddispensary.com. Ascend is hidden in the corner of a nondescript strip mall along Portland’s Green Mile, and thus easy to miss. It’s not a spot for tourists and looky-loos—it’s popular with neighbors and the blue-collar workers in the nearby industrial zone. Ascend’s longtime partner Toke Joints teams with it to sponsor locally run cannabis-industry events and, naturally, provides the shop with among the best joint selections in town. High-CBD strains and clones are available, but the latter tend to disappear quickly. Credit cards are accepted without transaction fees. TYLER HURST.

CannaDaddy’s

16955 SE Division St., 971-279-4932, canna-daddys.com. Starting on the day this issue prints, highvolume eastside dispensary CannaDaddy’s will be moving into a massive new space pretty much across the street, at 17020 SE Division St.—opening as soon as June 19, according to staff at the current store. So the sparkling clean store will move its current two walls of weed into a much vaster, 6,500-square-foot space with a whopping 10 registers. And to choose among the store’s 100 strains, visitors will have access to the entire Leafly library in the reception area on iPad screens, to winnow down their needs before talking to the budtenders within. SOPHIA JUNE.

Budlandia

6440 SE Division St., 503-805-2871. From the street, it’s impossible to determine whether this dispensary is open, and the ambiguity isn’t cleared up once you’re in the waiting room. There are no chairs, signs or people to greet you when you enter, just a wall of bulletproof glass through which you’ll eventually offer your ID once someone has come back to check if there are visitors. After you’ve gotten through the DMV entryway, you’ll be ushered into a dark, space age-y interior. Budlandia offers anywhere from 25 to 30 strains at a time, most of which are sourced through Ripped City or Ring of Fire, and the staff seems genuinely excited to talk about the flower on hand. The prices are reasonable, and the selection is adequate, so don’t let the creepy entrance deter you. GRACE CULHANE.

Nectar

1019 NE 122nd Ave., 971-279-2512 nectarpdx.com. Nectar may be the Fred Meyer of Portland weed, but the 122nd Avenue location is more like Fred Meyer’s country home, with a little walk leading to a red-painted house that looks a little like a log cabin— with a much more modern store within that includes a sculpture of what the baby might look like if a cheetah fucked an elephant. As at other Nectars, pre-rolls fly off the shelves here, as do the weekly BOGO eighths. It’s tough to recommend any one

thing, because the Fred Meyer of Portland cannabis shops’ greatest strength is its menu. This is the place to go when you’re not sure what your out-of-town friend really wants. TYLER HURST.

Five Zero Trees

10209 SE Division St., Building B, Suite 100, 971-242-8492, fivezerotrees.com. When your GPS app indicates you’ve arrived at Five Zero Trees, you’ll probably think it’s a joke. Masking the dispensary from street view is Blessings, a massive Christian resource center. But have faith and drive in anyway; salvation is just across the parking lot. From the outside, Five Zero Trees looks like the backside of an abandoned Party Depot. But inside, it feels like a seaside spa, with walls made of dark wood planks with light-blue chipped paint for a manufactured vintage effect, dim lighting and a wall full of clear glass. I half expected my budtender in Princess Leia braids to offer me an eyebrow wax with my $2 white chocolate raspberry edible. The dispensary, which opened in 2013, is mainly medicinal, but the pot connoisseur will also feel at home, with 50-plus strain selections, predominantly from in-house growers. Five Zero Trees is known for its high-end BHO, which goes for $50 a gram. But for a more casual experience, the pre-rolls are huge and a bargain at $25 for three, and top-shelf recreational goes for $13 a gram. SOPHIA JUNE.

Green Gratitude

10322 SE Holgate Blvd., 503-444-7707, 420greengratitude.com. Oreo-ed between a Plaid Pantry and a sushi joint, this dispensary has more to offer than Google Street View suggests. Inside the wide-open budroom is a fat selection of glass, two flower stations, an edibles fridge, and a clone cubby. Did I mention it feels like an underground lounge? I spied a bong with a Smokey Bear logo on the neck and couldn’t help but giggle. I was happily surprised to find the elusive chronic variety Snoop’s Dream and snatched it up. Green Gratitude also has high-CBD flower varieties. I strolled out of the place with one called Happy Medium in a damn fine pre-roll. K.C. SWAIN.

Head East

13250 SE Division St., 503-761-3777, headeastpdx.com. Head East head shop is a family affair— started first in 1976 by Robert Smalley and then continued by his son Paul, who hung out there growing up. The checkerboardfloored shop bears the imprints of its long history with items that stretch back years, glass from all over (including a blower in Smalley’s own shop), hammocks, jewelry, figurines and Rastafarian garb. Lately, it’s selling a lot of nouveau herbs like kratom, not to mention plenty of hookah shisha and out-there glass like a light-up pipe with sculptured eyes opening from nonspecific biology. MATTHEW KORFHAGE.

PITIFUL PRINCESS

12646 SE Division St., 503-954-1019. Pitiful Princess brings the drama. Not only are moralizing Oregonian writers obsessed with the place—it’s weathered brutal columns from heavy-hitters Anna Griffin and Steve Duin—but it also has some issues with professionalism and/or workforce morale. “I thought those bitches were my friends, and then they pull this shit,” the bartender explained to the gentleman on the stool next to us. “But I threw that fucking cunt out of here, and just texted her and told her not to fucking come back.” The bartender, herself a former dancer, showed her Android, and I can confirm that she said exactly that. Get past the name, and the dancer drama, and Pitiful Princess actually is a pretty pleasant hangout. It vaguely channels the basement from That ’70s Show through wood paneling and a pool table. All music played is contemporaneous with Marcy Playground, which probably makes it oldies to the Saturday-night dancers. Those dancers are young and not especially practiced in their craft, but the beer’s cheap and the vibe’s chill. Compared to some other clubs we visited in East Portland, it might as well be Mary’s. MARTIN CIZMAR.

Sweet Leaf

2367 SE 122nd Ave., 971-703-4552, sweetleafmarijuana.com. On a far corner of Division Street, in what looks like an In-N-Out that’s been whitewashed, Sweet Leaf will show you what a dispensary should be. The best items for sale include discounted five-packs of assorted pre-rolls (why doesn’t every shop do this?), Golden Xtrx THC dabs, and a glass selection almost unrivaled at other Portland shops. Want to smoke out of a bacon-shaped pipe? Want a handmade piece shaped like a beagle that is more fine art than drug paraphernalia? Across the huge, minimalist room, a colorful retail rack looks straight from American Apparel and stocks beanies, a hot-pink tank dress, and branded tees you’d actually wear. Surrounded by potholed roads and fast-food joints, Sweet Leaf is like an Apple Store of weed, with the minimalist aesthetic and iMacs on the checkout counter to prove it. ENID SPITZ.

Club 205

9939 SE Stark St., 503-256-0527, club205live.com. If East Portland has a Magic Garden (R.I.P.) or Sassy’s, it’s Club 205. The cocktails are reasonable during regular hours ($6 Maker’s!) and insanely cheap at happy hours ($1.50 well vodka and drafts till 5 pm!). The front section might as well be any dive bar in Portland—a rail of wood staffed by nononsense vets who favor regulars with their

pours and lighten up on drunks, the food fried and decent. The main room is a triplestack of octagonal stages of varying sizes— two with poles, one with a swing—with tatted and pierced dancers heavy on upsidedown pole craft, small talk and the ability to extend most of their body beyond the stage. When you walk in, even if you’ve never been, your cockles are warmed by the sense of the familiar. Here you are in Portland—so much Portland. MATTHEW KORFHAGE.

Mystic and Falco’s

9950 SE Stark St., 503-477-9523 (Mystic), 503-477-9628 (Falco’s), mysticpdx.com. Mystic strip club and its adjunct dive bar, Falco’s, have been the scene of so much tragedy—shootings in the parking lot, a security guard shot within, a woman driven to a Fairview lake and killed—it sort of pervades the air a little, with a memorial shrine to the fallen on Falco’s bar. While Mystic is like a dive-bar version of a gentlemen’s club—club bangers, a haze of neon and high-priced drinks, heavy tats on dancers that tend toward the skulland-full-back-spider-web variety—Falco’s is a tight-knit, community-minded pool dive with a couple tables and a few sports screens, serving strip-club steaks at stripclub prices ($5 cheap!). “Home of the Cheap Date,” says the sign, right next to the club that’s home to the expensive date. MATTHEW KORFHAGE. Willamette Week JUNE 15, 2016 wweek.com

WILLAMETTE WEEK’S

W EDNES DAY, JU LY 1 3 2 2 2 0 NW Q U I M BY ST | 5 TO 9PM O PEN TO T HE PU BLIC A L L AGES

PROCEE DS BEN EFIT

V IL LA G G A R D EN SE

ED BY PRESENT

RSV P FOR F R E E // O R P U RC H A S E $22 V I P FOOD TIC KET V IP TICKET INCLU DES 6 BBQ SA M P L ES, T WO DRIN KS A N D A $2 DON AT ION TO V I L L AG E G A R D E N S.

VOT E FO R YO U R FAVO RITE B B Q ! RUSSE LL STRE E T BBQ | RE VE RE N D'S BBQ | POD NA H’ S PI T | A ND M ORE T BA

RSV P OR BU Y TI C K E TS : W W E E K .CO M / B O P PA RTY 2016

Willamette Week JUNE 15, 2016 wweek.com

STREET

PULSE PORTLAND SCENES FROM THE VIGIL AT TOM MCCALL WATERFRONT PARK. PHOTOS BY MAYA SETTON www.wweek.com/street

Follow your feet to Footwise for

sandals• clogs•shoes•boots•socks

1433 NE Broadway • 503.493.0070 Hours: Mon-Sat 10-6; Sun 11-5 Facebook.com/footwiseportland

PROUD AT PORTLAND PRIDE! Willamette Week JUNE 15, 2016 wweek.com

Willamette Week JUNE 15, 2016 wweek.com

“You are not a cool band if you roll up in a minivan.” page 42

GONE TILL WHENEVER: Rapper Vinnie Dewayne, one of the Portland hip-hop scene’s young leading lights, has moved back to Chicago, where he attended Columbia College. “It was always a plan for me to go back to Chicago,” he writes in an email. “I stayed in Portland longer than I expected. It only feels right to go back.” After returning to Portland in 2013, Dewayne’s knack for honest autobiography made him one of the city’s most popular MCs. He placed on our annual Best New Band poll in 2015, performed at City Hall for the inaugural Hip-Hop Day, and released his long-awaited mixtape, The St. Johns Scholar, in January. Dewayne is the latest high-profile rapper to leave town, following Tope, Glenn Waco and Hanif, who has since returned. “I don’t think hip-hop is appreciated in Portland like it is in other cities,” Dewayne writes. “There’s not enough kids in the suburbs that are telling all of their high school friends to come to a local rap DEWAYNE show in Portland.” TIP OFF: Two more top Portland restaurants are going gratuity-free. Navarre and Luce will adopt a gratuity-free policy by the end of the year, as part of a movement among restaurateurs to equalize pay between the front and back of house. Both restaurants are owned by chef John Taboada and will begin their no-tipping policy by the end of the year. Those restaurants will join Bent Brick, Park Kitchen, Farm Spirit and Le Pigeon. Le Pigeon begins its no-tipping policy June 18. Park Kitchen and Bent Brick will begin July 1 and 2, respectively. JUPE JOINT: East Burnside hipster hotel the Jupiter and Dope Magazine have launched the city’s first “420 Package,” aimed at tourists in town for cannabis. The $50 package follows a Voodoo Doughnut breakfast package and a Fantasy for Adults Only sex toy box. There are a couple catches, though. First, you don’t get any weed. Second, you can’t smoke in your room at the hotel. And since you technically can’t smoke at any other public place in the state, you can’t actually use the package legally. If you do smoke in your room, there’s a $150 cleaning fee. Welcome to Portland, where weed is almost kinda legalish! HOLE IN THE HEAD: Loggers have stripped the public of a chance to swim at Naked Falls, one of the Portland area’s most popular swimming holes. The site on Washington’s Washougal River is now marked with signs from timber giant Weyerhaeuser, which owns much of the area. People parking near Naked Falls may be subject to parking tickets up to $200. According to Ryan Schreiner, a recreation manager at the Washington Department of Natural Resources, this did not come as a surprise. The department has put in new public restrooms and parking at nearby Dougan Falls to accommodate people accustomed to sloshing around at the newly rip-rap-rock-blockaded Naked Falls. “Dougan Falls, which belongs to us, is open to the public,” says Schreiner. “The only requirement is that they have a Discover Pass hanging from their window.” Dougan Falls is fine, but for some other great swim spots in the Gorge be sure to pick up next week’s issue.

Willamette Week JUNE 15, 2016 wweek.com

V I N N I E D E WAY N E . C O M

STARTERS

BITE-SIZED PORTLAND CULTURE NEWS.

Headout

WHAT TO DO THIS WEEK IN ARTS & CULTURE

FRIDAY JUNE 17

I L L U S T R AT I O N S B Y L O VAT T O

DJ Stingray

[DETROIT TECHNO] An icon of American techno, the producer born Sherrard Ingram is one of the genre’s most uncompromising ﬁgures. Stingray lurks in the depths of pummeling drum patterns and spun-out acid bass, but it’s the ambient spaces between the noise where he truly leaves his mark. The Liquor Store, 3341 SE Belmont St., 503-754-7782. 9 pm. Call venue for ticket information. 21+.

THE BEER AND CHEESE FEST IS TOTALLY SOLD OUT. NEW SEASONS TO THE RESCUE.

SATURDAY JUNE 18 Club Destiny

BY RUSSELL HAUSFELD

[PATIO PARTY] Put on your tank top, Ray-Bans and boat shoes, Chanti Darling DJs for this week’s patio dance party at White Owl. Bridge Club, a local LGBTQIA DJ collective, hosts, with photography by Megan Holmes—who has shot for Holocene, Wildfang and an art book titled An A-Z of Franz Ferdinand. Summer is now. White Owl Social Club, 1305 SE 8th Ave., 503-2369672. 8 pm. $10. 21+.

rhausfeld@wweek.com

Everyone wants to feel fancy sometimes, right? But Portland’s fanciest beer fest, Saturday’s Beer and Cheese Fest, sold out weeks ago. Only a lucky few will be sampling the pairings created by master cheesemonger Steve Jones along with Xocolatl de David artisanal chocolates and very fine smoked meats. Why not hold you own beer- and cheese-tasting party? We decided to do just that, and with everyday beers from New Seasons. We went to the Slabtown store and asked the cheese seller on duty, Chandra Galuh (a veteran of Bar Avignon), to find us perfect pairings. We spent less than $50 on enough beer and cheese for three— admission to the festival was $35.

Gaylabration

[PRIDE] When New York passed marriage equality legislation in 2011, Portlanders, living in a state where samesex marriage was still illegal, launched Gaylabration in protest. Now the biggest oﬃcial dance party of Pride season, it’s nonstop dirty pop radio edits and onstage dancers from Lyfe Company, some of whom have backed Britney herself. Crystal Ballroom, 332 W Burnside St., 503-225-0047. 10 pm-2 am. $19.90-$49.99. 21+.

SUNDAY JUNE 19 Suuns

OUR FAVORITE: Hoegaarden ($1.67) with Casatica di Bufala ($17.99 per pound). This was a wonderful combination of softness with softness. The Casatica di Bufala heightened the flavors of the Hoegaarden and vice versa. The yeasty funk of the Belgian ale complemented the creamy funk of the cheese for a surprisingly flawless pairing. It was perfect. The banana flavor of the wheat beer played really nicely with the cheese, and they just tango together.

ALSO VERY GOOD:

MAYBE NOT:

Stiegl Radler ($2.25) and Vlaskaas ($17.99 per pound). We paired this light grapefruit-spiked beer with the hard Vlaskaas cheese for a fairly agreeable result. There was maybe a little too much creaminess in the cheese for the citrus if we were to get particular, but it was an overall satisfying pairing. One thing we gleaned from considering Stiegl Radler as a pairing, though, was that its most sensible bride would be a cheeseburger, rather than just sliced cheese.

Vicious Mosquito IPA ($4.99) and Heublumen ($29.99 per pound). Vicious Mosquito was named one of our 10 favorite Oregon beers, and Heublumen was by far the most expensive cheese we purchased, so we were expecting some beautiful sparks to fly between these two. Unfortunately, pairing a super-hoppy IPA can be tricky. The IPA flooded the palate, canceling any noticeable connection with the cheese.

ALSO PRETTY GOOD:

Anchor Steam Lager ($1.58) and Mahón ($14.99 per pound). The malty Anchor Steam Lager we bought at New Seasons had begun oxidizing, creating a rusty flavor that would be hard to pair with anything. The fault was in the beer, not the cheese.

Pyramid Apricot Ale ($1.59) and Bucheron ($14.99 per pound). This combination worked well in essence, but could be improved with a more farmy apricot beer that lingers longer on the tongue. The funk and super-creaminess of the Bucheron cheese melted in your mouth with a very distinct flavor that complemented the apricot at first, but it quickly rushed your taste buds, pushing the apricot aside.

NAH:

GO: New Seasons Market, various locations, newseasonsmarket.com. If you have tickets for the Portland Beer and Cheese Fest, remember to use them at 1 pm Saturday, June 18, at Wayﬁnder Beer, 304 SE 2nd Ave. Sold out.

[ART ROCK] Like the two records that came before it, Suuns’ Hold/Still is the soundtrack to the worst possible bad trip. The album’s krautrock grooves and hypnotic repetition invoke intense feelings of paranoia, and the brooding dissonance would make Trent Reznor squirm. It’s not always easy to listen to, but music this ominousness is hard to turn away from. Doug Fir Lounge, 803 E Burnside St., 503-2319663. 9 pm. $12. 21+.

Making a Murderer’s Dean Strang and Jerry Buting

[LECTURE] Wherever you stand on the guilt or innocence of Making a Murderer subject Steven Avery, you have to admit his defense team is totes adorbs. They’ll give a talk on the justice system, and possibly answer questions from the audience. We suggest: “Do outlier cases such as this really do anything to solve the systemic problems of prosecutorial injustice?” and “Are you on Tinder?” Newmark Theatre, 1111 SW Broadway, 503-248-4335. 8 pm. $39.50-$95. All ages.

Willamette Week JUNE 15, 2016 wweek.com

FOOD & DRINK SATURDAY, JUNE 18

= WW Pick. Highly recommended. By MATTHEW KORFHAGE. Editor: MARTIN CIZMAR. Email: dish@wweek.com. See page 3 for submission instructions.

Traditional taste, contemporary nourishment. The only all gluten-free, Middle Eastern lunch buffet in town. Delicious vegan and meat dishes. Signature cocktails with Middle Eastern herbal infusions. Join us! 320 SW Alder St. darsalamportland.com M-F 11:30 a.m.- 9 p.m. Sat. 12:30 p.m. - 9 p.m.

Tacos ’n’ Tequila

Tacos and tequila go together like… tacos and tequila. At Mississippi Studios, four tequila cocktails will be paired with tacos from Tex-Mexers Stella Taco and La Taq, swanky friedchicken pop-up people Mae, and Portland’s finest gringo taco makers, Taqueria Nueve. Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., 288-3895. Noon. $15.

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 15 Mussels From Brussels

Alex Ganum of Upright keeps winning this one. Every year for four years, five brewers come to Bazi with their own special sauce for a bowl of mussels. Breakside, Fat Head’s, Lompoc, Upright and and Pfriem compete, pairing each mussel bowl with their own Belgian-inspired beers. Tickets available at eventbrite.com. Bazi Bierbrasserie, 1522 SE 32nd Ave., 503-234-8888. 5:30-9 pm. $28.

SUNDAY, JUNE 19 Basque Supper Club

For the first time, chef Javier Canteras will cook his traditionalmodernist Basque Supper Club pop-up dinners in the space that will house his new Basque and Spanish tapas restaurant, Urdaneta. Expect six courses that include three Spanish wine pairings, Spanish fideos, chevre avocado flan, green strawberry sorbet and crispy lamb belly. Sunday has a few seats left. Tickets available at basquesupperclub.com. Urdaneta, 3033 NE Alberta St. 7 pm. $96.

Weird Beer Bonanza

Weird-ass beers, with drink tickets for 4-ounce tasters so you can taste both liberally and…judiciously on vanilla lemon Sourrento from the Bruery, Sweet Potato Brown from Breakside and, like, a Gatorade Reverend Nat’s. Imperial Bottle Shop, 3090 SE Division St., 971-302-6899. Noon-10 pm.

Shandong www.shandongportland.com

The Seattle-based Cider Summit is back in Portland, with about 200 different ciders, plus music, meads, cider cocktails, and…well, mostly lots of ciders. A $35 ticket nets eight 4-ounce pours. So…$18 a pint? And the thrill of togetherness? The Fields Park, 1099 NW Overton St., cidersummitnw.com. 3-8 pm (2 pm VIP). $35-$45. Also June 18 (noon-5 pm).

(TOWNSHEND’S)

Fernet-Branca is the drink of choice for service-industry workers looking for a midshift buzz while keeping their breath minty fresh. So it made perfect sense that Townshend’s decided to produce a Northwest version: a respected local institution making use of local botanicals (Douglas fir, birch bark, hops) to quench the thirst of a town where servers aren’t allowed to imbibe on the clock. Unfortunately, competing with a product that’s 170 years old is hard, and Townshend’s overthought the task. On the nose, the fernet has the piney rush of a very herbal gin, which leads to an array of independently nice but collectively disjointed flavors like mint, tobacco and cardamom. Whereas Fernet-Branca is like smoking a menthol cigarette through your nose, Townshend’s fernet is like standing in a burning head shop. If that weren’t enough, it’s also $10 more than the Italian original, which could make it a tough sell for those who pay with wrinkled-up wads of tip money. Not recommended. ZACH MIDDLETON.

1. Hat Yai

Shandong

1605 NE Killingsworth St., 503-764-9701. Hat Yai offers the fresh, earthy, complex flavors you want from a place like Pok Pok—but in a fastwww.shandongportland.com casual setting. Like, say, Pok Pok circa 2008. $$.

2. Garagiste

1225 N Killingsworth St., 503-954-3959, janmarcwinecellars.com. This may be a wine bar, but it’s also one of the most exciting North Portland restaurants to open in a while, with hyper-fresh local ingredients like Oregon-caught steelhead trout and chevre from a goat farm in Ridgefield. $-$$.

Papacito (BRIANNE DAY)

3. Laurelhurst Market

3155 E Burnside St., 503-206-3097, laurelhurstmarket.com. Near-perfect, spicy parking-lot chicken is served up with equally wonderful slaw and pickles every lunch but Tuesday. $.

4. Please Louise

1505 NW 21st Ave., 503-946-1853. Please Louise has delivered on the basic, modern pizzeria that Slabtown needed. The cocktails are restrained, the shop is minimalist, and the dough does its job. $$. 126 SW 2nd St., 503-939-9449, opwurst.com. Best. Hot dogs. Ever. Even the dogs that look like gimmicks—whether an Elvis-influenced peanut butter-banana or poutine dog—are terrific. $.

OP WURST Willamette Week JUNE 15, 2016 wweek.com

C O U R T E S Y O F O P W U R S T. C O M

5. OP Wurst

Cuisiniéres Supper Club

Kate Norris and chef Althea Grey Potterwill cook another round of their Cuisiniéres Supper Club Series. They’ll cook duck confit with smoked cherries, heirloom summer squashes and a stone-fruit and berry tart, paired with wines from 51 Weeks, Welsh Family Wines and Division Villages. SE Wine Collective, 2425 SE 35th Place, 503-208-2061. 6 pm. $50.

Pacific Northwest Fernet

Cider Summit PDX

TUESDAY, JUNE 21

DRANK

FRIDAY, JUNE 17

accepting reservations for Father’s Day brunch

Snackdown

A snackdown is what happens when snacks fight. There’ll be 10 small plates from people like Nomad, Lardo and Kim Jong Grillin, paired with 10 5-ounce beers from people like Breakside and Buoy. Then everyone votes on the best ones, after eating and drinking a lot. Tix at pdxbeerweek.com. The Evergreen at Loyal Legion, 618 SE Alder St. Noon. $49.

Lambrusco gets a bad rap. Most Americans know it as that sweet, red, sticky fizz they sell for $5 at Trader Joe’s—the stuff of a thousand suburban teenage hangovers. Well, #NotAllLambrusco. In the right hands it’s a party, good for pairing with sunny days or summertime food like barbecue ribs or hot dogs with grilled red pepper. Oregon winemaker Brianne Day has been at the forefront of natural wines in this state, and her new summer fizz, Papacito, is a beautiful riff on Lambrusco that can be fizzy and dry, complex and savory-sweet. Note, however, that it can’t legally be called Lambrusco—that’s a protected designation, not unlike Champagne, and restricted to certain Italian regional and grape variety requirements. Call it a New World Lambrusco, maybe—a free-form improvisation across wine styles from the Old World. Papacito is made with a grape called primitivo, an Italian cousin of zinfandel grown in small quantities by noted vineyard tender Herb Quady down in the Applegate Valley. Day produces the wine at her new winemaking facility in Dundee, which she’s currently upgrading to include a revamped tasting room and cellar. More than clear blue skies and baseball, Papacito tastes like those heavy, humid, gray Portland summer days when the temp sits around 80 and just kind of…hangs. Dry, fizzy, refreshing yet weighty, this wine is like a red clay puddle in the park, or a cumulonimbus cloud ready to burst. More please. Recommended. JORDAN MICHELMAN.

REVIEW M AYA S E T T O N

a rush out of working with hot peppers. Will I accidentally rub my eye before washing my hands? Will the heat be too much to handle? It’s thrilling! After a few days in the fridge, the ganache hardened, forcing me into a process of microwaving and refreezing to get it at the right consistency to scoop. Eventually, it softened enough for me to messily hand-roll about two-dozen chocolate marbles, which are insanely rich but come with a light, pleasing burn at the end.

DRINK THIS

Watermelon-jalapeño-vodka sipper

(Eva Sippl, Eva’s Herbucha) The recipe calls for “good-quality smallbatch vodka such as Bull Run, House Spirits, or New Deal,” but in my experience, a warmed, half-full bottle of Svedka that’s been sitting in your liquor cabinet for God knows how long will do in a pinch. What

Totes Fresh

CLIMB CARROT MOUNTAIN: Farmers market season is in full swing.

WE MADE A BUNCH OF RECIPES FROM THE NEW PORTLAND FARMERS MARKET COOKBOOK. HERE’S WHAT WE RECOMMEND. BY M AT T H E W S I N G E R msinger@ wweek.com

When the sun comes out, so do the totes. An average of 25,000 shoppers come through the Portland Farmers Market during summer, filling Powell’s gift bags with meat and produce from nearly 250 local vendors. I’m typically not one of them. Until a few years ago, you wouldn’t even find me at Safeway unless it was the beer aisle. Cooking wasn’t something I ever had enough confidence to try, beyond throwing a chicken breast on the regifted Foreman Grill I brought with me when I first moved out of my parents’ house. It took unemployment—and a monthly $200 food-stamp stipend—for me to discover that I derive an unexpected satisfaction from preparing meals. But I’m still very much a novice. I also have the palate of an 8-year-old: I couldn’t tell the difference between free-range beef and whatever’s inside a Doritos Locos Taco. But with farmers market season approaching, I figured this would be a good time to take a culinary step forward. And they’ve made it easy: The new Portland Farmers Market Cookbook features 100 recipes from regional chefs and restaurateurs, divided by season. So, on a recent Saturday, I went to Portland State University with a shopping list and a meal plan. After making a week’s worth of recipes, here’s what I recommend.

DINNER Peach and pancetta pizza

(Mark Doxtader, Tastebud) Anything involving yeast still intimidates me, so I let my more experienced girlfriend handle the dough recipe. Unfortunately, it never rose. I will let her defend herself here: “I just kinda overmixed it, by knead-

STARTER Fire-roasted artichokes with lemon aioli

(Patreece DeNoble, DeNoble Farms) Who’s the first person who looked at an artichoke and said, “There’s gotta be something edible somewhere on this thing”? Artichokes always struck me as a lot of work for little reward, and this recipe initially seemed to be adding steps to the process: cut in half, boil, brush in herb mixture, grill, enjoy that tiny swab of flesh on the bottom of each petal. Turns out, grilling—or griddling, in my case—is the ideal way to cook an artichoke, mak-

you do here is hollow out a watermelon to use as a makeshift punch bowl, mix the liquor with kombucha and sliced jalapeños, and let it refrigerate for a few hours. We found it preferable to strain the liquid rather than sip with the chunks of watermelon floating in it. The end result is smoky and refreshing, with a subtle flavor of jalapeño but none of the heat.

MAYBE AVOID Salted cucumbers with ricotta, red onion and basil

ing it with my hands instead of just with a wooden spoon. I think I was heavy-handed in my flour measurement.” So we picked up some pre-made dough from New Seasons. Ultimately, though, it’s what’s on top that counts, and the sweet and savory combination toppings—with a mozzarella and mascarpone base and scattered with arugula—was a revelation, even coming out of our apartment’s ancient oven.

(Joshua McFadden, Ava Gene’s) I figured this would be the hardest to screw up. Sprinkle salt on a bunch of cucumber slices, toss them in a dressing of ricotta and olive oil, done. What could go wrong? Take it as an omen that I nicked my finger on a

DESSERT Chocolate-apricot-habanero truﬄes

(Melissa Berry, Missionary Chocolates) Although Nicki Minaj’s “Truffle Butter” just about swore me off truffles for good, I was excited to make these, mostly because I get

ing it much more flavorful than steaming. The buttery, tangy lemon aioli was the perfect complement, too. We paired this with butter-roasted, fresh-caught salmon, gifted to us by our downstairs neighbors as an apology for a noisy weeknight party. All food tastes best with a side of contrition.

mandoline five minutes into the process. As cucumbers are apparently nature’s loofahs, the salt is meant to draw out the vegetable’s moisture. In my case, it worked almost too well. Maybe I sliced them too thin, or left them in the fridge too long, but they would not stop sweating. Even after draining the excess water, there was a milky-white puddle that formed at the bottom of the Tupperware used to transport it to a barbecue. It came out looking soggy and unappetizing, but my friends gave it positive marks, because they’re good friends. Willamette Week JUNE 15, 2016 wweek.com

Willamette Week JUNE 15, 2016 wweek.com

MUSIC R ya n l a b R i e R e

HOTSEAT

Exit the Dragon THE PAST, PRESENT AND FUTURE OF WHAT THE FESTIVAL. BY NIC K J O H N SO N

njohnson@wweek.com

Five years ago, Glen Boyd stood at a crossroads. Should he commit to building the dragon, or start a music festival? He chose the festival. Now, What the Festival—a cross between Burning Man art rave, big-tent bacchanal, Las Vegas pool party and intimate, Pickathon-style campout—is one of the most anticipated annual parties in the state, attracting both basschasing college kids and serious electronica aficionados to the woods of Dufur, Ore. Last year, WTF drew its biggest crowd yet, and finally crossed over into financial stability. Many questions remain, however. Not just about What the Festival, but the future of dance music itself. WW spoke to Boyd and festival co-founders Peter Clark and Tiffany Boyd—who is also Glen’s wife—about sustaining their brand, mitigating the hazards of “party culture,” and, of course, the dragon that got away. WW: Why did you start the festival? Glen Boyd: Having retired a decade-plus before, I did a lot of traveling and finished raising my children. I was ready to get immersed in something again. Both Tiffany and I and Peter had all attended Burning Man for many, many years and did large art projects and theme camps there. This just seemed like a logical next step for wanting to do more art and more music-related events.

Pool ParTy: a scene from What the Festival 2014.

lost money every year. We’re finally at sustainability, to where I’m no longer funding it and we’re able to start work on repaying some of the investment and making the festival sustainable over time.

Some journalists have declared that EDM is dying, if not already dead. How does your festival, at this point focused on electronic music, respond to that? Glen Boyd: I think there’s some truth to that about mainstream EDM. People are bored with it. When you talk about Euro house or Swedish House Mafia or these very large, mainstream electronic music acts, I would agree with that. There’s so much more happening in the electronic music Do you remember the moment Probably 50 percent of “eveRyOne’S Running realm. when you made the decision? our acts of the last several years Glen Boyd: I was very close to had some level of live compoaROunD nakeD!” making a commitment to a very nent mixed in, whether it was —Tiffany Boyd, large-scale art piece at Burning our headliner Big Gigantic or Man. Something that would have Griz or Bonobo or Emancipator. What the Festival co-founder taken a good six to nine months That’s a whole area that I don’t of my life between the fundraissee going away any time soon. ing and the architectural design and engineering, and then Peter Clark: We really have tried to stay ahead of that a month living out there. Of course, at the end, you end up language for years. We don’t brand ourselves as EDM. We burning it. So there’s something very poetic about that, but constantly edit to make sure that word doesn’t make it also final. There had been an opportunity we’d been discuss- into our profile, because it is a buzzword and not someing about starting the festival because of another festival thing we want to associate with. It’s a part of the music [Emerge-n-See] in Oregon that decided that they weren’t scene right now, and we’re seeing it really hurt a lot of going to be returning. It was a little festival that happened other events that are associated with it. down in Salem, and we saw that as an opportunity. We knew that if we waited another year we might miss the window, so People have preconceived notions about music it was really tough for me to decide to give up planning this festivals, especially ones that feature electronic dragon for almost two years. I guess the joke I said at the music, of being one long party with lots of drugs. time—which wasn’t a joke—was, “Well, I know at least I’m not How do you mitigate that? going to be burning it at the end and we’ll have the opportu- Glen Boyd: The first thing is to make sure the environment nity to get our money back.” That hasn’t been the case yet. is safe. We have a massive security force onsite. We also have a massive medical and fire team onsite. We joke and say we Was the Dragon Stage a way for you to finally build the basically run a city. We have all the major departments. We dragon installation you wanted to do at Burning Man? have a doctor-led medical team. We do free water for all of Glen Boyd: Exactly. An ode to the dragon I never built. the participants at dozens of locations. Our goal here is to give everybody a place to hang out with their friends and You’ve been around for a while, which isn’t neces- enjoy the weekend like a summer camp. Be safe about it. sarily the case for a lot of festivals. Was there a time when you felt like it’s going to be around for a while? What would you say to someone who is on the fence Glen Boyd: This past year really gave all of us that feel- about attending but might feel pressure to particiing. Before that, every year has definitely been a struggle pate in the “party culture” at the festival? of whether or not we have the financial stamina. We’ve Tiffany Boyd: It’s just getting the message out and letting

people know we are so much more than that scene. We have yoga and movement workshops during the day. We have spoken workshops. They’re so much more. We have a film festival. There’s more to it than the music and the party. Glen Boyd: Burning Man suffered through that same kind of thing for a long time. There’s this preconceived idea that everybody who went to Burning Man is a certain type of person. Tiffany Boyd: “Everyone’s running around naked!” [Laughs.] Glen Boyd: We like to say that we’re proud of growing a little slower. It’s allowed for most of our participants to acculturate. What that means is that someone comes because their friends are bringing them, and there’s a certain level of builtin training, or a support system. If somebody comes for the first time with their friend, they’re a little less intimidated and they also get a little bit of culture of how to— Tiffany Boyd: —of how to act and not to act. What new art installations and acts are you most excited about this year? Glen Boyd: Where do I begin? The art changes every year. That’s always new and exciting, and I’m intimately involved with the curation of that. From a structural side, we’re adding a third pool and we’re adding an additional late-night stage. Who will be the breakout act this year? Clark: We’re really happy with the lineup. It has something for everybody. We’re all very excited to see FKJ, Tourist, Thievery Corporation, Bonobo, Lettuce. Once you get further down the list, you may have never heard of some of these artists. Where do you see What the Festival going in the next decade? Clark: As the market gets more and more saturated with music festivals, I think what we’re trying to strive for is to separate ourselves from that pack and stay unique, stay different and maintain our own kind of consistency. I would think in 10 or 20 years, if the stars are aligned, we’ll continue to be that breakout brand that’s still exciting people in ways that many other events are trying to figure out. Maybe we’ll have multiple events. Maybe we’ll be doing more long-term stuff. It’s sort of hard to stay, but I think maintaining the brand feel is what my dream would be. SEE IT: What the Festival is at Wolf Run Ranch in Dufur, Ore., on Friday-Monday, June 17-20. See whatthefestival. com for tickets and complete schedule. Willamette Week JUNE 15, 2016 wweek.com

Willamette Week JUNE 15, 2016 wweek.com

MUSIC Editor: MATTHEW SINGER. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, go to wweek.com/submitevents and follow submission directions. All shows should be submitted two weeks or more in advance of event. Press kits, CDs and especially vinyl can be sent to Music Desk, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Please include show or release date information with all physical mailings. Email: msinger@wweek.com. Fax: 243-1115.

Tristen, My Body, Moody Little Sister

[SYNTH POP] Nashville native Tristen Gaspadarek was already a standout pop chanteuse in a town full of them when she released two albums of exceptional, expertly orchestrated folk rock. For her crowdfunded third eﬀort, C.A.V.E.S., she opted for a dramatic synth-pop makeover, and leapt from exceptional to incredible. Imagine Taylor Swift’s 1989 as produced by Saddle Creek mastermind Mike Mogis. With last year spent in the service of Jenny Lewis’ backing band, it’s high time she enjoyed some alone time in the spotlight. CRIS LANKENAU. Lola’s Room at Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside St. 8 pm. $12 advance, $15 day of show. All ages.

Ser Porten Vid, had been released half a decade earlier, it would probably be spoken about in the same reverential tones extreme-metal fans have for Ulver’s beloved Bergtatt. Instead, Norway’s Taake has been resigned to hard-working obscurity for years, only emerging in the past few as one of the stalwarts of ’90s black metal. Taake is appropriately joined by Young and in the Way, which has been making big waves among hardcore kids who discovered black metal in their early 20s. WALKER MACMURDO. Dante’s, 350 W Burnside St. 8 pm. $15. 21+.

CONT. on page 42

Taake, Young and in the Way, Wolvhammer, Winter in the Blood, Uada

[BETTER TROO THAN NEVER] If Taake’s 1999 debut album, Nattestid

TOP

JOHN CARPENTER’S FIVE GREATEST FILM SCORES 1 The Fog (1980) The score to Carpenter’s pirate-ghost story, like the film itself, is all about creeping in and getting under your skin. It’s a remarkably subdued exercise in classical piano-synth fusion that creeps in and buries itself deeper than a rusty hook. 2 Prince of Darkness (1987) When your movie features a homeless Alice Cooper being impaled by a bike frame, the music has to bring the surreal. Carpenter and collaborator Alan Howarth tap into their inner Goblin for a screechy, ominous bit of orchestral nightmare fuel. 3 Assault on Precinct 13 (1976) An early Carpenter siege movie that deserves way more credit, Assault basically laid the groundwork for every synth-based action score to come. And, come to think of it, probably a whole generation of run-and-gun games on the 8-bit systems of yore. The Escape From New York theme is more iconic, but Assault is Carpenter’s action-theme masterpiece. 4 They Live (1988) A slow, droning, harmonica-driven synth oddity, “Rowdy” Roddy Piper’s theme is reminiscent of some sort of hybrid futuristic Western blues odyssey, with a little porn sax for good measure. Excellent for kicking ass and chewing bubblegum. 5 Halloween (1978) Yep. It’s obvious as hell. And sure, the Howarth-assisted Halloween III score is more nuanced. But the simplicity of rhythm here is horror’s most memorably creepy score, more than “Tubular Bells” or even Jason’s heavy breathing. Once you hear those three stabbing piano notes, you know some baby sitter is about to get kebabed. AP KRYZA.

COURTESY OF THEOFFICIALJOHNCARPENTER.COM

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 15

HAPPY PRIDE PORTLAND!

= WW Pick. Highly recommended. Prices listed are sometimes for advance ticket sales. At-the-door increases and so-called convenience charges may apply. Event lineups are subject to change after WW’s press deadlines.

SEE IT: John Carpenter plays the Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall, 1037 SW Broadway, on Wednesday, June 15. 8 pm. $40-$60. All ages. Willamette Week JUNE 15, 2016 wweek.com

No Cover Charge

MUSIC The Bacon Brothers, Cindy Alexander

[SIX-STRING DEGREES OF…] For those hidebound traditionalists reﬂexively bristling whenever a movie star takes the mic, let’s dismiss a common misconception about the Bacon Brothers: This is not a vanity project. Kevin and older brother Michael—a wildly successful composer for dozens of ﬁlm and television projects you’ve never seen—have been touring for 19 years now, and their six studio albums represent an alarmingly consistent body of work. (The brothers Gallagher, in comparison, managed seven albums and 18 years.) While the Bacons’ glossy mélange of over-emoted folk, rock, soul and country won’t win many converts, this isn’t Dogstar or 30 Odd Foot of Grunts. There’s a craft and personality throughout, and however outrageous the ticket prices for middling dad-roots balladry, they could probably charge double by cutting straight to the “Footloose” encore. JAY HORTON. Revolution Hall, 1300 SE Stark St., No. 110. 8 pm. $45. 21+.

bringing an added layer of depth to the band’s catalog. Edgeﬁeld, 2126 SW Halsey St. 6 pm. $37 advance, $38 day of show. All ages.

Spend the Night presents DJ Stingray, Ben Tactic, Graintable

[DETROIT TECHNO] DJ Stingray is the shadowy moniker of techno’s most uncompromising ﬁgure. As part of the legendary production combo Urban Tribe, he and his cohorts came up evoking a New Age Afro-Atlantis via sprawling hybrid compositions of electro and hip-hop. Stingray lurks in the depths of pummeling drum patterns and spun-out acid bass, but it’s the space between the noise that the producer lesser known as Sherard Ingram calls his own, with amelodic ambience ascending the mix.

Do not miss this rare chance to see an icon of American techno. WYATT SCHAFFNER. The Liquor Store, 3341 SE Belmont St. 9 pm-2 am. Free. Contact venue for ticket information. 21+.

SATURDAY, JUNE 18 JMSN, Snoh Aalegra

[CONTEMPORARY R&B] Detroit’s JMSN strolled onto the scene just as the new R&B movement was peaking, when artists like Autre Ne Veut, Shy Girls and How to Dress Well were crooning the pants oﬀ of their adoring fans. The stylistic shimmer has faded some, but JMSN still has a tireless, Timberlake-esque stage presence that’s terribly entertaining. The musician’s newest LP, It Is, strays a bit into

INTRODUCING

THURSDAY, JUNE 16 Lloyd Cole

Karaoke nightly till 2:30am www.chopstickskaraoke.com

(503) 234-6171 3390 NE Sandy Blvd 535 NE Columbia Blvd

[SINGER-SONGWRITER] Ink-black hair and matching togs, stooped posture, unsettling glower, adenoidal voice, allusive lyrics—that’s how Brit bard Lloyd Cole first appeared to us, and though the hair may no longer be as inky, it’s largely how he remains. His present tour, though, revisits the period when he made that first impression, coming amid Cole’s assembly of two archival box sets. Last year’s Collected Recordings 1983-1989 was an exhaustive look at his work with original British band the Commotions, while this fall’s anticipated follow-up covers the first years of the tunefully literate grouch’s expatriate solo career. JEFF ROSENBERG. Alberta Rose, 3000 NE Alberta St. 8 pm. $25. Under 21 permitted with legal guardian.

Cherry Glazerr, Sex Stains

[GARAGE CANDY] Some bands peak early, some peak late, and others not at all. It seemed like L.A. group Cherry Glazerr was in the ﬁrst category, having earned plenty of press and subsequent buzz from the folks at Burger Records, all while still in high school. Now, a couple of years after the release of Haxel Princess, the band is touching up its full-length follow-up. We know Cherry Glazerr is capable of delivering a candy-coated brand of garage rock that sounds like a cross between Thao and Houndstooth, and this show may reveal how it’s evolved since that early burst of notoriety. MARK STOCK. Lola’s Room at Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside St. 8 pm. $15. All ages.

FRIDAY, JUNE 17 Luluc, Tyson Motsenbocker

[SLOWCORE] After last year’s critically acclaimed Passerby, Aussiecum-Brooklyn duo Luluc tours back through Portland on a victory lap. Its sophomore eﬀort ended up on several best-of lists, and featured production by Bryce Dessner of the National. The execution is an understated aﬀair that evokes Judy Collins covering early Iron & Wine, and has earned high praise from National frontman Matt Berninger—who hasn’t been so vocal about another artist’s greatness since his little brother made a movie. CRIS LANKENAU. Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside St.. 9 pm. $13 advance, $15 day of show. 21+.

Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros, Preservation Hall Jazz Band, Harriet

[FOLK POP] The band best known for the platinum single “Home” has since experienced a major lineup change in the departure of female vocalist Jade Castrinos, and reconvened in New Orleans for recently released fourth eﬀort PersonA. It’s always kind of sounded like a kidfriendly Arcade Fire, and was therefore perfect for soundtracking commercials meant to feel like moody short ﬁlms. PersonA incorporates some of the Montreal band’s gloom,

Willamette Week JUNE 15, 2016 wweek.com

Sleeptalker WHO: Luke Clements (vocals, guitar), Jeff Taylor (drums), Joe Vanaman (bass). SOUNDS LIKE: Keith Morris daydreaming of taking a sledgehammer to the break room of his service-industry job. FOR FANS OF: Descendents, Circle Jerks, Rocket From the Crypt, Gaytheist. It’s a drag getting old, especially in the young person’s game of punk rock. But the members of Sleeptalker aren’t sweating it too hard. After all, the way they tour these days, it’s usually in a vehicle with a working air conditioner. “We did the math, and it’s better to rent a minivan than buy a van and pay for it if you’re not using it,” says bassist Joe Vanaman, 38, from the roof of Olympia Provisions in Southeast Portland, where he works as a pickler. “You look like a goon,” adds singer-guitarist Luke Clements, 40. “You are not a cool band if you roll up in a minivan. You’re Morty Seinfeld.” For Sleeptalker, this is growing up—placing comfort above cred, and regular life before the band. They’ve all spent enough time in other projects doing the opposite, and at this point, fitting the group around their day jobs and marriages is far more satisfying than treating it as an all-or-nothing proposition. It certainly hasn’t hurt the music any: Sleeptalker may have traded barely functioning Econolines for the spaciousness of a Chrysler Town & Country, but the band still taps the adolescent adrenaline rush of hardcore, with the sneering pop sense and spring-footed musicianship of dudes who’ve logged enough miles that they can afford to take things a little easier now. But settling down is not the same as settling in. New album Dead Tubes is riddled with the angst of adulthood, or what Clements calls “raging against comfortability.” “I was going through this weird transition point in my life, with jobs and stuff, and it’s mostly [about] working in a place you’re dissatisfied with,” he says. Songs blitz by in two minutes, racing against time, middle age, and the feeling that the world is moving on without you. “Seeing people do great things, and me not doing great things, puts things in perspective,” he says. Then again, this is also a band whose previous album spoofed the cover of Simon & Garfunkel’s Bookends. So at least they’ve still got their sense of humor. “We take the music really seriously, but not ourselves,” Clements says. “That’s so boring. A mysterious rock-’n’-roll band? Who’s ever liked that?” MATTHEW SINGER. SEE IT: Sleeptalker plays the Know, 2026 NE Alberta St., with Hurry Up and White Glove, on Saturday, June 18. 8 pm. $5. 21+.

C O U R T E S Y O F S L E E P TA L K E R

!A PLACE FOR FRIENDS AND FUN!

JOEY MOON

WHAT A DEEE-LITE: Lady Miss Kier plays Playground PDX Pride on Saturday, June 18. See our proﬁle at wweek.com. the realms of funk and soul, but is largely the tender, marginally embellished love-thirsty pop we’ve grown accustomed to over the past several years. MARK STOCK. Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside St. 9 pm. $12 advance, $14 day of show. 21+.

Heron Oblivion, Heather Woods Broderick, the Lavender Flu

[SLOW PSYCH] On Heron Oblivion’s debut, the quartet’s 10-minute “Rama” eases through a reasonable rock opening, shunts into a minimal drum portion and launches into a few minutes of melodramatic guitar soloing. The members’ backgrounds include work on Comets on Fire’s heavy psych and Esper’s ethereal folk maneuvers, as well as a half-dozen other ensembles dating to the early 21st century. Meg Baird’s crooning, dappled across the band’s Bay Area-infused psychedelia, makes the whole thing seem like a wicked version of Neil Young’s Crazy Horse. But it’s all fairly familiar rock territory, just dispatched with passions properly split between ’70s rock classics and the contemporary avant-garde underground. DAVE CANTOR. Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave. 9 pm. $10 advance, $12 day of show. 21+.

Wizard Rifle, Zirakzigil, Tiny Knives, Stress Position

[RIFF CITY] Wizard Rifle sounds like what would happen if the members of increasingly popular sludge-pop act Torche stayed up super-late, drank a ton of Mountain Dew Baja Blast and jammed out until their parents woke up and told them to pipe down. Wizard Rifle brings 2 liters of joyously jittery energy to its upbeat, riff-heavy pop metal, whether that entails stretches of spaced-out psychedelia, jarring post-hardcore angularity or big, fat, Southern-fried grooves. The band is joined by Portland heavy-psych rockers Zirakzigil, whose 2015 album, Worldbuilder, is newly reissued on Prosthetic Records. WALKER MACMURDO. Panic Room, 3100 NE Sandy Blvd. 9 pm. $10. 21+.

SUNDAY, JUNE 19 Suuns, My Body

[UNEASY ART ROCK] Suuns frontman Ben Shemie isn’t overly concerned about writing anything that could be construed as “happy.” Like the two records that came before it, their latest, Hold/Still, is the soundtrack to the worst possible trip. The album’s krautrock grooves and hypnotic repetition invoke intense feelings of paranoia. Its industrial incantations, sung over a bed of experimental post-punk guitars and synths are not always easy to listen to—the brooding dissonance and Shemie’s half-muttered vocals would make Trent Reznor squirm— but the foursome delivers it so well you can’t help but respect the music’s ominous nature. BRANDON WIDDER. Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside St. 9 pm. $12. 21+.

Tope, Stewart Villain, Wes Guy, 1Lady, Louis Archer, Verbz

[HIP-HOP HOMECOMING] A little over a year ago, Portland’s rapper

next door became the rapper in the next state. When Anthony “Tope” Anderson moved to Oakland, the city lost its most visible young MC, a tireless talent who earned plaudits from inﬂuential hip-hop publications like The Source, XXL and 2DopeBoyz for his relatable, conversational style and unabashed ’90s worship. But while he might be gone, he is certainly not forgotten, and he hasn’t forgotten us, either. Touring as a run-up to his new album, 3 AM in Oakland, Tope swings back through the town that raised him, propelled by a new single, “Better Place,” featuring a Lauryn Hill ﬂip from local producer Stewart Villain. MATTHEW SINGER. Kelly’s Olympian, 426 SW Washington St. 8 pm. $5. 21+.

Nothing, Wrong, Culture Abuse

[YELLING AT THE STARS] Philadelphia quartet Nothing has produced one of the most cohesive records of the year in Tired of Tomorrow, its high-octane melodic surges injecting life into the traditional shoegaze approach. While whirring, Nothing’s sound oﬀers bursts of noisy, atmospheric rock, suggesting that there’s more than just angst inside the group’s collective head. The newest record is a triumph in the musical art of fearsome lulling. It’s at once loud and soothing, a dreamy, astral kind of rock that Nothing has pretty much perfected. MARK STOCK. Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave. 8 pm. $12 advance, $14 day of show. 21+.

MONDAY, JUNE 20 Venom Inc., Necrophagia, Sunlord, Weregoat

[DEPRESSING BLACK METAL] Some people are going to be excited to see two of the three original members of Venom, the English proto-blackmetal band that coined the term for the subgenre with 1982’s Black Metal. I’m very happy for you, and I hope you have a rip-roaring, D-beat-fueled great time. Others—myself included— are ﬁlled with an intense existential sadness, because a band that hasn’t been artistically relevant in decades is touring under the name “Venom Inc.” after failing to secure the rights to the real name from Venom frontman Cronos, who is also touring and playing unlistenable music without the people he once wrote important songs with. Life comes at you fast. WALKER MACMURDO. Star Theater, 13 NW 6th Ave. 9 pm. $20. 21+.

TUESDAY, JUNE 21 Beth Orton, Emmy the Great

[DAY TRIP-HOP] Don’t call it a comedown. In the 20 years since her William Orbit-designed solo debut, Trailer Park, introduced “folktronica” to the lexicon and anointed Beth Orton chill-out doyenne of a far more irritated age, the U.K. chanteuse has increasingly abandoned synthscapes for the sort of singer-songwriterly acoustic strums that marked 2012’s Portland-recorded Sugaring Season. The unabashed digitalia of latest release Kidsticks, then, came as something of a surprise. Whether propelled by new motherhood or

CONT. on page 45 Willamette Willamette Week WeekJUNE JUNE 15, 15, 20162016wweek.com wweek.com

WILLAMETTE WEEK’S

PROCEE DS BEN EFIT ED BY PRESENT

V ILL AG G AR DE NSE

W ED N E SDAY, JU LY 1 3 | 2 2 2 0 N W Q U I M BY ST | 5 TO 9PM | OP EN TO THE P UB LI C | A LL AGES

RSV P FOR F R E E // O R P U RC H A S E $22 V I P FOOD TIC KET V IP TICKET INCLU DES 6 BBQ SA M P L ES, T WO DRIN KS A N D A $2 DON AT ION TO V I L L AG E G A R D E N S.

VOT E FO R YO U R FAVO RITE B B Q ! RUSSE LL STRE E T BBQ | RE VE RE N D'S BBQ | POD NA H’ S PI T | A ND M ORE T BA

RSV P OR BU Y TI C K E TS : W W E E K .CO M / B O P PA RTY 2016

JOE HEINEMANN THURSDAY, JUNE 16TH AT 6PM

Joe Heinemann’s long and successful career in jazz and blues has now led him to an entirely new sound on his solo piano debut, Gratitude. Heinemann’s piano melodies, sometimes accompanied by other acoustic instruments, are reflective, intimate, unquestionably personal and heartfelt, and were recorded with superb attention to detail.

TWIN PEAKS FRIDAY, JUNE 17TH AT 6PM

Give Twin Peaks an inch and they’ll take a stretch of the road. Having careened across America and beyond, sharing their staggering energy, the band made their third album the best way they know how: by themselves. The same group that produced the scuzzy squalor of their debut “Sunken,” had legions of fans screaming along to their anthemic sophomore effort, “Wild Onion,” now swings and serenades with “Down In Heaven”.

VALERIO PICCOLO SATURDAY, JUNE 18TH AT 3PM

Valerio Piccolo has long been a fixture in both the Rome and New York artist scenes. A musician and translator by trade, he has worked with the top film directors –Quentin Tarantino, David Lynch, Ron Howard, Clint Eastwood and more--translating films for the Italian market. His new album “Poetry Notes” is a new collection of songs that marries the words and poetry of renowned American novelists, poets, songwriters and journalists to his soulful, vibrant vocals and strikingly lush, melodic songcraft.

NOTHING

SUNDAY, JUNE 19TH AT 4PM

‘Tired Of Tomorrow’ is a modern, nihilistic take on the triumphant fuzzed-out guitar rock of the 90’s, replete with huge hooks and brooding melodies. Much like the events it’s based on, the album displays an unparalleled balance of opposites and contradictions, rife with sweet-and-sour themes, downcast grooves, infectious choruses, and blissfully expansive washes of sound.

Willamette Week JUNE 15, 2016 wweek.com

MUSIC the extended Los Angeles sessions— or, most likely, co-writer and producer Andrew Hung of Fuck Buttons—Orton has again embraced the machines. While the crystalline bleepcraft won’t please all tastes, she’s never sounded more warmly human. JAY HORTON. Revolution Hall, 1300 SE Stark St., No. 110. 8 pm. $33. All ages.

CLASSICAL, JAZZ & WORLD Joshua Redman Quartet

[SAX MAN] World-class saxophonist Joshua Redman almost became a lawyer. In 1991, he graduated summa cum laude from Harvard and got into Yale law school, but decided to take a year off from his studies to live in Brooklyn. During that time, his passionately lyrical bebop style won him the Thelonious Monk competition, which he had entered on a whim— naming him arguably the best player on his instrument under the age of 30 in the world. It was then that Redman realized he should probably give this jazz thing a shot. Two decades later, the composer and bandleader remains a force in the world of improvised music, a powerhouse whose solos and melodies soar above a heavily approachable, grooving base. And to think, all that talent was almost wasted on tort cases. PARKER HALL. Jimmy Mak’s, 221 NW 10th Ave., 503-295-6542. 7 pm Wednesday, June 15. $30 general admission, $35 reserved seating. Under 21 permitted until 9:30 pm.

Gregory Porter, Kandace Springs

[BIG JAZZY SOUL] Gregory Porter’s mellow baritone could easily have been co-opted by a more classic soul sensibility. Instead, the burly, bearded vocalist—a Blue Note signee who crafts soul-influenced jazz for the same people who fell in love with Norah Jones a decade ago—spreads his sound over gently brushed grooves and introverted piano chords. It’s clean, it’s crisp, and it offers a deep layer of feeling missing from much of the throwback-music world, offering a sense of the musical which is beautifully exhibited on his latest release, Take Me to the Alley. PARKER HALL. Revolution Hall, 1300 SE Stark St., No. 110. 8 pm Thursday, June 16. $25-$38. Under 21 permitted with legal guardian.

ViVoce

[GLOBAL CHORAL] Celebrating its 10th anniversary, Portland Revels’ women’s chorus has carved out a unique niche in the Portland choral scene—first by incorporating storytelling into its shows, then, with the arrival of director Jamie Webster, increasingly adding global folk music to its always stimulating menu. This summer’s shows include music from Bolivia, Ecuador, Romania, Bulgaria, South Africa, North America, Renaissance Italy, France and the British Isles, and weave in a story found in different versions of Psalm 42, including one in Xhosa. BRETT CAMPBELL. St. Michael and All Angels Episcopal Church, 1704 NE 43rd Ave. 7:30 pm Saturday, June 18. First Unitarian Church, 1011 SW 12th Ave. 4:30 pm Sunday, June 19. $15.

The Thing, the Crenshaw

[GARAGE FREE JAZZ] Wikipedia says Swedish saxophonist Mats Gustafsson is known for his “tonal belligerence.” Perhaps that is what qualifies him to lead a trio as dirty as the Thing. This group—featuring bassist Ingebrigt Flaten and percussion favorite Paal NilssenLove—dabbles beyond jazz, touching on punk, noise and avant-rock. It’s a hard-working and constantly touring unit, sure to peel a layer of sheetrock off the walls of Disjecta. Another Creative Music Guild affair that deserves your attention and support, provided you want to be engaged and challenged. NATHAN CARSON. Disjecta, 8371 N Interstate Ave. 8 pm Tuesday, June 21. $12. 21+.

For more Music listings, visit

dates here ALBUM REVIEWS

Alto! LP3

(Trouble in Mind)

[EXPERIMENTAL JOURNEYS] Across three a l b u m s, p e r c u s sion-heavy trio Alto has continually expanded its broad range of influences, incorporating prog rock, desert psych, post-war German music and African drumming into its exploratory mélange. On the three-song LP3, guitarist Derek Monypeny and dual drummers Steven Stone and Kyle Emory find equal space for dissonant freak-outs as they do minimal electronics. Each track is an organic composition that seems to grow in real time. “Piece Fourteen” is most emblematic of the band’s influences and jamming aesthetic, taking the listener on a journey via electronic bass and crescendoing guitar work. “Piece Sixteen-Fifteen” stretches more than 18 minutes, growing from windswept ambience to what sounds like an oud taking over the main riff, with the polyrhythmic motorik beat tying it all together. LP3 is the sound of Alto finding greater success creating unworldly sounds out of humble basement jams, offering something for anyone who appreciates bearded men playing the triangle in one breath and a stoner-rock power-chord slam the next. WYATT SCHAFFNER. SEE IT: Alto plays the World Famous Kenton Club, 2025 N Kilpatrick St., with Grex and Noah Bernstein, on Thursday, June 16. 9:30 pm. Free. 21+.

Arlo Indigo DREAMBOAT

(Self-Released)

[BEDROOM BOWIE] A r l o I n d i g o ’s Dreamboat EP manages to say a lot in just three tracks. For starters, he’s enlisted a band, retiring his fuzzy electronic drum loops in favor of restrained, funk-tinged chops. Indigo thrives in the roomier arrangements, as if he’s finally able to authentically emulate childhood heroes like New Order and Pet Shop Boys. Nowhere is the British dancefloor influence more prominent than on “Purple Mountain Drive,” with its breezy chorus of lamented love and kaleidoscopic bursts of volume. “Your World” veers toward psychedelic soul with an assemblage of the reductive, minor-seven chords used so expertly in the Motown songbook. But the crown jewel of the trio is closer “Petting the Crocodile.” Opening with an angular, palm-muted guitar riff, sounding like a lost cut from Low, the track incorporates all the tricks of Indigo’s strange new bag into a wonderful cohesive whole. Its amped-up transition to a chunky chorus and blues-funk breakdown is a vibrant, dramatic close to a collection that should have a former bedroom Bowie gunning for broader stages. CRIS LANKENAU. SEE IT: Arlo Indigo plays Rontoms, 600 E Burnside St., with Ali Muhareb’s Mujahedeen and Rare Diagram, on Sunday, June 19. 8 pm. Free. 21+. Willamette Week JUNE 15, 2016 wweek.com

MUSIC CALENDAR

For more listings, check out wweek.com.

FLASHBACK

SUN. JUNE 19 WW ARCHIVES

= WW Pick. Highly recommended.

Editor: Matthew Singer. TO HAVE YOUR EVENT LISTED, send show information at least two weeks in advance on the web at wweek.com/ submitevents. Press kits, CDs and especially vinyl can be sent to Music Desk, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Please include show or release date information with all physical mailings. Email: music@wweek.com.

WED. JUNE 15 Alberta Street Pub

1036 NE Alberta St Hayley Lynn and Friends • Ryan Westwood • Ronnie Carrie

Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall

Doug Fir Lounge

Hawthorne Theatre

Crystal Ballroom

1507 SE César E. Chávez Blvd. Israel Vibration & Roots Radics

1332 W Burnside St Tristen, My Body, Moody Little Sister (Lola’s Room)

Dante’s

Kelly’s Olympian

350 West Burnside Taake, Young and in the Way, Wolvhammer, Winter in the Blood, Uada

426 SW Washington St. The 3AM Tour hosted by Verbz Tope, Stewart Villain, Wes Guy, 1Lady, Louis Archer, Verbz

Hawthorne Theatre

1507 SE César E. Chávez Blvd. Jacob Whitesides

Kenton Club

2025 N Kilpatrick St Disassturbator/Ratghost/ Dungeon Brothers

High Water Mark Lounge

LaurelThirst Public House

6800 NE MLK Ave Death Bells, Tender Age, Hollow Sunshine

2958 NE Glisan St Freak Mountain Ramblers

Holocene

3552 N Mississippi Ave Ryan David Orr; Josh Garcia Band, The Petals

Jimmy Mak’s

Mississippi Studios

221 NW 10th Ave. Joshua Redman Quartet

DANCE WITH PRIDE: Inside City Nightclub, Portland’s original all-ages gay nightclub. See “In the City” at wweek.com.

Kelly’s Olympian

2958 NE Glisan St Lynn Conover & Gravel

Mississippi Pizza

3552 N Mississippi Ave Black Sheep Brass Band; Tallulah’s Daddy

Revolution Hall

1300 SE Stark St #110 The Bacon Brothers, Cindy Alexander

The Goodfoot

2845 SE Stark St Shafty

The Liquor Store

3341 SE Belmont St, Damn!, Patsy’s Rats, The Exacerbators

The Old Church 1422 SW 11th Ave David Rothman

Valentines

232 SW Ankeny St Oro Azoro with Dan Dan, The Valley

Wonder Ballroom 128 NE Russell St. Snow Tha Product

THURS. JUNE 16 Alberta Rose

3000 NE Alberta St Lloyd Cole Retrospective: Playing the Classic Songbook 1983-1996

Alberta Street Pub 1036 NE Alberta St Lucy Barna

Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall

1037 SW Broadway Bill McKibben

Corkscrew

1665 SE Bybee Blvd Ko Tagawa Jazz Melodica Trio

Kung Pao Chickens; Anita Margarita & the Rattlesnakes

Mission Theater

1624 NW Glisan St. An Intimate Evening with Good Old War

Mississippi Pizza

3552 N Mississippi Ave Mr. Ben

Panic Room

3100 NE Sandy Blvd Unaussprechlichen Kulten, Dire Omen

Produce Row Cafe 204 SE Oak St, Music Mondays

Star Theater

13 NW 6th Ave. Venom Inc., Necrophagia, Sunlord, Weregoat

The Analog Cafe

720 SE Hawthorne Blvd. SambAmore

The Goodfoot

2845 SE Stark St Sonic Forum

The Know

2026 NE Alberta St Elephant Rifle // Drunk Dad // Tiny Knives

The Liquor Store

3341 SE Belmont St, WEEED / Western Mystics / EBT BBQ

Mississippi Pizza

1001 SE Morrison St. Charts, The Tamed West, Neighbor Wave

LaurelThirst Public House

1332 W Burnside St The Chicharones, Speaker Minds, Bad Habitat, Unlikely Heroes (Lola’s Room)

830 E Burnside St. Suuns, My Body

1665 SE Bybee Blvd Cody Ray

2958 NE Glisan St Jake William Capistran, Each Both, Pete Giza

Crystal Ballroom

350 West Burnside Jet Black Pearl, World Wild Accordion Diva.

Corkscrew

LaurelThirst Public House

1665 SE Bybee Blvd The Bylines

Dante’s

1037 SW Broadway John Carpenter: Live Retrospective

426 SW Washington St. Outer Spaces

Corkscrew

[JUNE 15-21]

Crystal Ballroom

1332 W Burnside St Cherry Glazerr, Sex Stains (Lola’s Room)

Dante’s

350 West Burnside Mac Sabbath, Spazztic Blurr

Duff’s Garage

2530 NE 82nd Ave Orphan John

Edgefield

2126 SW Halsey St Troutdale OR 97060 Rabbit Wilde

High Water Mark Lounge

6800 NE MLK Ave Mos Generator, Maximum Mad

Jimmy Mak’s

221 NW 10th Ave. Mel Brown B3 Organ Group

Kelly’s Olympian

426 SW Washington St. Green Luck Media Group presents: Take Shape, I Was Afraid

Kenton Club

2025 N Kilpatrick St Grex (Oakland), Alto (Album Release), Noah Bernstein

LaurelThirst Public House

2958 NE Glisan St Caitlin Jemma, Matt Buetow; Lewi Longmire & the Left Coast Roasters

Mississippi Pizza

3552 N Mississippi Ave Live in the Depths: Electroncia; Mo Phillips

Revolution Hall

1300 SE Stark St #110 Gregory Porter, Kandace Springs

Roseland Theater

8 NW 6th Ave Stephen “Ragga” Marley

Star Theater

13 NW 6th Ave.

Willamette Week JUNE 15, 2016 wweek.com

Hive Presents 16volt, Gina and the Eastern Block, and Particle Son//DJS KAOZ & Michael [product]

The Analog Cafe

720 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Doll Skin, Amelia; World Beat PDX Featuring: WAMBA

The Goodfoot

2845 SE Stark St Todd Clouser, Galen Clark, Damian Erskine, Tarik Abouzied play Captain Beefheart and more

The Know

2026 NE Alberta St Dreckig, Galaxy Research, Elfin Elephant

The Old Church

1422 SW 11th Ave Harry Nilsson 75th Birthday Tribute Concert

The Secret Society

116 NE Russell St Thursday Swing! Featuring Trashcan Joe, Pink Lady & John Bennet Jazz Band

Twilight Cafe and Bar

1420 SE Powell Ascended Dead, Torture Rac, Rotting Slab

FRI. JUNE 17 Alberta Rose

3000 NE Alberta St Robben Ford with special guest Kyle Swan

Crystal Ballroom

1332 W Burnside St Amanda Cook

Doug Fir Lounge 830 E Burnside St. Luluc, Tyson Motsenbocker

Duff’s Garage

2530 NE 82nd Ave Bruce Katz

Edgefield

2126 SW Halsey St Troutdale OR 97060 Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros, Preservation Hall Jazz Band, Harriet

High Water Mark Lounge

6800 NE MLK Ave Pale Dian, Shadowhouse, Meringue

Holocene

1001 SE Morrison St. School of Rock Portland Presents: The Velvet Underground + Nico

Jimmy Mak’s

221 NW 10th Ave. Eddie Martinez

Kelly’s Olympian

426 SW Washington St. The Secret Sea, Pistachio, Amber Ikeman

LaurelThirst Public House

2958 NE Glisan St Michael Hurley & the Croakers; Baby Gramps

Mississippi Studios

3939 N Mississippi Ave. Sonny and the Sunsets, Sarah Bethe Nelson, Gonzo

Roseland Theater 8 NW 6th Ave The Growlers

Star Theater

13 NW 6th Ave. Wussy with Chris Brokaw

The Analog Cafe

720 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Together PANGEA Patsy’s Rats / with guests

The Firkin Tavern

1937 SE 11th Ave CASTLES, Coloring Electric Like, Paper Brain

The Know

2026 NE Alberta St Laser Background // Ah God // Wave Action // Stevhen Peters

The Old Church

1422 SW 11th Ave Astoria Music Festival Portland Preview

The Secret Society 116 NE Russell St

Schoolyard Farms Fundraiser feat. Ezza Rose, Sandy Loam, Dan Dan, Banda Feahr

Twilight Cafe and Bar

1420 SE Powell Rock Gaga (Rock Tribute to Lady Gaga)

Valentines

232 SW Ankeny St Dead Soft with EBT BBQ, Riled; AH GOD with Moonchild

SAT. JUNE 18 Aladdin Theater

3017 SE Milwaukie Ave Junior Brown

Alberta Street Pub 1036 NE Alberta St Elke Robitaille

Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall

1037 SW Broadway The Divas

Doug Fir Lounge

830 E Burnside St. JMSN, Snoh Aalegra

Duff’s Garage

2530 NE 82nd Ave Big Monti/Rae Gordon

Duff’s Garage

2530 NE 82nd Ave Tyler Jakes

Edgefield

2126 SW Halsey St Troutdale OR 97060 Cage The Elephant + Portugal. The Man

Jimmy Mak’s

221 NW 10th Ave. The Lisa Mann Band

Kelly’s Olympian

426 SW Washington St. Tokyoidaho with Stay Up and Secret Ceremony

LaurelThirst Public House

2958 NE Glisan St Redray Frazier; Greener Pastures, Hickory Justice; Billy Kennedy

Mississippi Pizza

3552 N Mississippi Ave

Dust & Thirst String Band

Mississippi Studios

3939 N Mississippi Ave. Heron Oblivion, Heather Woods Broderick, the Lavender Flu

Panic Room

3100 NE Sandy Blvd Wizard Rifle, Zirakzigil, Tiny Knives, Stress Position

Revolution Hall

1300 SE Stark St #110 Kimberly Monique

Star Theater

13 NW 6th Ave. Abney Park

The Analog Cafe

720 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Lioness Kate, Great Regular Flavor, Strickly Platonic

The Firkin Tavern

1937 SE 11th Ave Lord Master//2x2 (from Boise)//Almost Dark

The Goodfoot

2845 SE Stark St Garcia Birthday Band

The Know

2026 NE Alberta St Sleeptalker // Hurry Up // White Glove

The Lovecraft Bar

421 SE Grand Ave Miscreancy, Xantam and Tideless

The Secret Society 116 NE Russell St Melao De Cuba Salsa Orchestra

The Secret Society 116 NE Russell St Everything’s Jake

Turn! Turn! Turn!

8 NE Killingsworth St Grex (Oakland), Toyboat Toyboat Toyboat, Bubble Cats

White Eagle Saloon

836 N Russell St Gabriel Cox, Black Sheep Black, Old Mill

3939 N Mississippi Ave. Nothing, Wrong, Culture Abuse

Rontoms

600 E Burnside St Arlo Indigo [Record Release] + Ali Muhareb

Star Theater

13 NW 6th Ave. Aesthetic Perfection

The Analog Cafe

720 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Bankshot, Question Tuesday, Faithless Saints &amp; Secnd Best

The Know

2026 NE Alberta St Marshall Poole // Wooden Indian Burial Ground // Shadowlands

The Liquor Store

3341 SE Belmont St, Public Eye + The Stops

Valentines

232 SW Ankeny St Showdeer Presents featuring R.Ariel with Little Star, Fountaine, Bri White

MON. JUNE 20 Aladdin Theater

3017 SE Milwaukie Ave Justin Hayward at Aladdin Theater w/ Mike Dawes

Dante’s

350 West Burnside Karaoke From Hell

Hawthorne Theatre

1507 SE César E. Chávez Blvd. Ill Nino

Jimmy Mak’s

TUES. JUNE 21 Alberta Rose

3000 NE Alberta St Roy Rogers and the Delta Rhythm Kings

Alberta Street Pub

1036 NE Alberta St Dinner Pairing Series: TBA

Disjecta

8371 N Interstate The Thing, the Crenshaw

Duff’s Garage

2530 NE 82nd Ave The Redwood Roots

Jimmy Mak’s

221 NW 10th Ave. Mel Brown Septet; Joe Manis and Siri Vik

Kelly’s Olympian

426 SW Washington St. dreamcatchr, Colorworks

LaurelThirst Public House 2958 NE Glisan St Jackstraw

Mississippi Pizza

3552 N Mississippi Ave Lili and the Dirty Moccasins; Baby Ketten Karaoke

Mississippi Studios

3939 N Mississippi Ave. Plants And Animals // Royal Canoe

Revolution Hall

1300 SE Stark St #110 Beth Orton, Emmy the Great

The Analog Cafe

720 SE Hawthorne Blvd. BAS – Too High to Riot Tour

The Goodfoot

2845 SE Stark St Yak Attack

221 NW 10th Ave. Dan Faehnle; Dan Balmer Trio; Aventine Circus

The Liquor Store

Kelly’s Olympian

The Old Church

426 SW Washington St. When a Tyrannosaurus Wrecks Your Hike (Ezza Rose and Lance), Cotton, Makeda & Sam, Crackling Rock Man, Average Pageant

LaurelThirst Public House 2958 NE Glisan St

3341 SE Belmont St, Focus! Focus! + Guests 1422 SW 11th Ave Make Music Day PDX

NEEDLE EXCHANGE

M AYA S E T T o n

MYKL FSTR

BAR REVIEW

Where to drink this week. 1. Laurelwood Brewpub 5115 NE Sandy Blvd., 503-282-0622, laurelwoodbrewpub.com. now is the time to rediscover Laurelwood’s beautiful rooftop patio—still unknown to most in the city—looking out over scenic...Sandy Boulevard.

2. Toffee Club

DJ Sappho Years DJing: I started making mixtapes at age 8 with my Fisher-Price cassette recorder. I began DJing, using the proverbial two turntables and mixer, 17 years ago. Genres: Cosmic disco, new beat, dark pop, acid house, electro, hypnotic techno, obscure boogie. Where you can catch me regularly: I am a resident DJ for the parties Stranger Disco at District East, Yes Please at Holocene, and Playground held at various underground locations. You can also catch me at Moloko at least monthly for some chilled-out lounge times. In addition, I host a radio show, Misplaced Keys, on Freeform Radio, every Saturday from 6 to 8 pm. Craziest gig: Imagine it is Dec. 31, 2015. Imagine it is 25 degrees outside. Imagine the New Year’s Eve party you are hosting and DJing is in an unheated warehouse. We had about 700 party freaks huddled in the freezing-cold event space Constellation. I could see my breath all night. My fingers were frozen. The music was a psychedelic arctic journey, and the crowd was incredibly engaged—possibly out of necessity of having to huddle so as not to freeze. My go-to records: William Onyeabor’s “When the Going Is Smooth & Good,” the Joubert Singers’ “Stand on the Word,” Todd Terje’s “Inspector Norse,” and Moodymann’s “Love Hangover” never leave my crate. Don’t ever ask me to play…: Music that does not make sense with the time-space continuum (to be honest, I really don’t take any request). NEXT GIG: DJ Sappho spins at Cathy Disco Pride at District East, 2305 SE 9th Ave., with Vera Rubin and Stormy Roxx, on Friday, June 17. 10 pm. $12. 21+.

Tetsuo: DJ Swamp (turntablism)

Star Bar

639 Southeast Morrison St. DJ Jonny Cakes

The Lovecraft Bar

WED. JUNE 15 Church

2600 NE Sandy Blvd. Wu-Tang Wednesday

Dig A Pony

736 SE Grand Ave. Morning Remorse (fuzz, psych & hand claps)

THURS. JUNE 16 Beech Street Parlor 412 NE Beech Street DJ White Merlot

Beulahland

118 NE 28th Ave Splash!

421 SE Grand Ave Shadowplay (goth, industrial, EBM)

FRI. JUNE 17 Beulahland

Dig A Pony

118 NE 28th Ave Nik Fury

315 SE 3rd Ave VNDMG + secret guest

736 SE Grand Ave. Battles & Lamar (freestyle, electro, boogie)

Ground Kontrol

Gold Dust Meridian

20 NW 3rd Ave The Cave w/ Massacooramaan

Euphoria Nightclub

511 NW Couch St. TRONix (electronica)

Panic Room

3100 NE Sandy Blvd Wicked Wednesday (hip-hop)

Star Bar

639 Southeast Morrison St. DJ Suzanne Bummers

The Lovecraft Bar

421 SE Grand Ave Event Horizon (darkwave, industrial)

3267 SE Hawthorne Blvd. DJ Gregarious

Killingsworth Dynasty 832 N Killingsworth St Post-punk Discotheque Vol V. w. DJs Dungeonmaster and Dark Entries

Moloko

Black Book

Crystal Ballroom

1332 W Burnside St 80s Video Dance Attack

Dig A Pony

736 SE Grand Ave. Jimbo (funk, rap, electro)

District East

3967 N. Mississippi Ave. Brazilian Night w/ Nik Nice & Brother Charlie

2305 SE 9th Ave, Cathy Disco Pride w/ DJs Vera Rubin, Sappho, and Stormy Roxx

Panic Room

Gold Dust Meridian

3100 NE Sandy Blvd

3267 SE Hawthorne Blvd. DJ Tiger Stripes

1006 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 971-254-9518, toffeeclubpdx.com. Where else can you eat bangers and mash and down a Fuller’s while watching a backroom projection of an Everton game with a soccer ball bigger than any human head?

3. Old Gilbert Road Tavern

5501 SE 72nd Ave., oldgilbertroad.com. The spirit of Mount Scott resides in this rough-andtumble dive with “classy as fuck” Champagne cocktails, “chicken stripper” sandwiches and a damn good tap list, not to mention a stage housing bizarro nights co-hosted by a lady in a monkey suit.

4. Skyline Tavern

8031 NW Skyline Blvd., 503-286-4788, skytav.com. Skyline Tavern, our 2016 Bar of the Year, is a singular mountain vacation within Portland city limits—an old roadhouse dive with a back patio looking out on trees and more trees, a barbecue out back and, lately, a credit-card reader and a great beer list.

5. Lardo

1205 SW 12th Ave., 503-241-2490, lardosandwiches.com. Lardo’s westside location might as well be a Breakside brewpub until June 19, the end of Portland Beer Week— with 16 taps of common and rare brews on tap from the Milwaukie brewery.

Holocene

1001 SE Morrison St. 50: A Possible History of Dance Music

NOW IN 3-B: Division Street is pretty fancy for Gestalt Haus (3584 SE Division St.). In its native Bay Area, this bike, brat and bier bar was out on the rusted-steel fringes. But when cafe and bar Eugenio’s gave up its ghost—holding an actual wake for Old Portland— Gestalt moved in. Actually, it’s still sorta moving in. After it expands its refrigeration, Gestalt will add a few more German beers and maybe hang a few more flags. “If it was up to me, we’d have opened even if we just had brats and Hofbräu,” says the bartender. “Start making money to pay the rent.” Gestalt already has other sausages (the bar is buying meat from Zenner’s and supplementing with vegan options) and beers, including Spaten Optimator, Hacker-Pschorr weisse and Occidental Kölsch. It plays mostly heavy metal and talk is mostly about biking, especially the mountainous type. The brats are great, and only $5. “That’s always what this place has been about—a spot where you can get a good beer and a brat that’ll fill you up for $10,” says the bartender, who moved here from the Bay Area and became a co-owner, referring to it as “buying myself a job.” There will be some who bemoan these Californians coming into the neighborhood, but not me—the city needs a few more good, cheep bierhauses, and the bikeyness is a bonus. MARTIN CIZMAR.

Valentines

232 SW Ankeny St Surface Noise Vinyl Invitational Happy Hour

Jack London Bar

529 SW 4th Ave. Decadent 80s (new wave, synthpop, dance)

Killingsworth Dynasty 832 N Killingsworth St Strange Babes (wave, synthpop, punk)

Moloko

3967 N. Mississippi Ave. Monkeytek

Panic Room

3100 NE Sandy Blvd Giom (house, remix)

The Goodfoot

2845 SE Stark St Soul Stew w/ DJ Aquaman (funk, soul, disco)

The Liquor Store

3341 SE Belmont St, Spend the Night presents DJ Stingray, Ben Tactic, Graintable (Detroit techno)

The Lovecraft Bar 421 SE Grand Ave Open Wide Pride

SAT. JUNE 18 Beech Street Parlor 412 NE Beech Street Champagne Jam

Beulahland

118 NE 28th Ave Jon Ra

Church

2600 NE Sandy Blvd. Chookie Crisp (hip-hop, r&b)

Crush Bar

1400 SE Morrison Pants Off Dance Off: Pride For All

Crystal Ballroom

1332 W Burnside St Come As You Are 90s Dance Flashback

Dig A Pony

736 SE Grand Ave. Dirty Red

District East 2305 SE 9th Ave, R U Gay??? featuring Katya and Detox

EastBurn

Signal 16 featuring DJ Ceiba (dub, bass, dancehall)

Gold Dust Meridian

White Owl Social Club

1800 E Burnside St. DJ Doc Rock 3267 SE Hawthorne Blvd. DJ Philadelphia Freedom

Holocene

1001 SE Morrison St. Playground PDX Pride Feat. DJ Lady Miss Kier (Deee-Lite)

Killingsworth Dynasty 832 N Killingsworth St Lez Out: Lez Do It Pride Edition w/ DJs Chelsea Starr & Mr. Charming

Moloko

3967 N. Mississippi Ave. Klavical

Sandy Hut

1430 NE Sandy Blvd. DJ Billy Club

The Liquor Store

3341 SE Belmont St, Authentic! (northern soul, rocksteady, reggae)

The Lovecraft Bar

421 SE Grand Ave Sabbath w/ Miz Margo

Valentines 232 SW Ankeny St

1305 SE 8th Ave East Bridge Club Presents: Club Destiny featuring Ma Deejay

SUN. JUNE 19 Church

2600 NE Sandy Blvd. Overcol (glam, new wave)

Dig A Pony

736 SE Grand Ave. Emerson (hip hop, r&b)

The Lovecraft Bar

421 SE Grand Ave Super Fun Happy Kawaii Party (Jpop, Kpop, cosplay)

MON. JUNE 20 Beech Street Parlor 412 NE Beech Street Incidental Music

Dig A Pony

736 SE Grand Ave. Lamar (boogie, modern dance)

Ground Kontrol

511 NW Couch St. Reagan-o-mix (new wave, hip-hop, soundtrack)

Kelly’s Olympian

426 SW Washington St. Eye Candy VJs

The Lovecraft Bar

421 SE Grand Ave Murder Mass (industrial, 80s, spooky)

TUES. JUNE 21 Black Book

20 NW 3rd Ave Turnt Up Tuesdays

Church

2600 NE Sandy Blvd. Fritzwa (NY house, hiphop)

The Embers Avenue 100 NW Broadway Recycle w/ DJ Tibin (dark dance)

The Lovecraft Bar

421 SE Grand Ave Mood Ring (electronic, dance)

Tube

18 NW 3rd Ave. Tubesdays

Willamette Week JUNE 15, 2016 wweek.com

PROUD IN PORTLAND!

Willamette Week JUNE 15, 2016 wweek.com

TERRY BLAS

PERFORMANCE = WW Pick. Highly recommended. Most prices listed are for advance ticket sales. At-the-door increases and so-called convenience charges may apply, so it’s best to call ahead. Editor: ENID SPITZ. Theater: ENID SPITZ (espitz@wweek.com). Dance: ENID SPITZ (dance@wweek.com). TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, submit information at least two weeks in advance to: espitz@wweek.com.

OPENINGS & PREVIEWS A Conversation on Justice with Making a Murderer’s Dean Strang and Jerry Buting

Dean Strang and Jerry Buting, the defense attorneys for Steven Avery in the Netﬂix documentary Making a Murderer, will come to Portland to speak with audiences about the United States’ criminal justice system, as well as answering audience curiosities at a Q&A session. Newmark Theatre, 1111 SW Broadway. 8 pm Sunday, June 19. $39.50$95.50.

Motown the Musical

Motown founder Berry Gordy started out as a lightweight boxer and then launched heavy-hitting stars like Diana Ross and mMichael Jackson into stardom. Broadway in Portland puts on this spectacle of nonstop song and dance with neon backdrops and bellbottom pants. Relive the Jackson 5’s top hits, if you can handle a two and a half hour-plus run time with the inevitable families in the audience. Keller Auditorium, 222 SW Clay St., 7:30 pm Tuesday-Friday; 2 and 7:30 pm Saturday; 1 and 6:30 pm Sunday, June 14-19. $30-$105.

Risk/Reward Festival

Now in its ninth year of showcasing northwestern indie artists, the Risk/ Reward music/theater/dance festival is known for highlighting up-andcomers. It’s both extra fringe and gender-focused this summer. Carla Rossi headlines with her Portlandfamous drag show. Seattle feminist performer Ilvs Strauss (pronounced like “Elvis”) does gender-bending works, like Manifesto, her one-woman show with minimal props and costumes, where she uses a California red sea cucumber as an allegory for womanhood. Rounding out the lineup are Portland’s SNKR, a shoeobsessed duo known for YouTube videos, and a highly political theatrical trio called Hong Kong Exile. The most “normal” performance might come from Vancouver dancer Vanessa Goodman, who looks like a ballerina and moonlights as a pilates instructor. Artists Repertory Theatre, 1515 SW Morrison St., risk-reward.org. 7:30 Friday-Saturday, June 17-18 and 5 pm Sunday, June 19. $20.

Slant: Live Queer Storytelling

Slant gives you a more mellow and heady way to enjoy Pride, with seven-minute talks from six speakers. The patio and killer burgers at Bar Bar are a good alternative to sweating at Stag. Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., 503-288-3895. 8 pm Thursday, June 16. $12 advance, $14 at the door. 21+.

NEW REVIEWS American Idiot

High energy angst? Check. Heroin withdrawals set to rock music? Check. Eye-liner and neckties? Check. Everything you could want from the actors of Triangle Production’s American Idiot is there in full force, but on opening night, the show was wrought with technical diﬃculties. Director Don Horn’s choice to stage American Idiot—a production that should be a seizure-inducing, explosive light show of a rock opera— in the quaint Sanctuary at Sandy Plaza was a huge risk. Triangle paid the price for it at points during the

show. The acoustics of the room, which used to be used as a church, were not built for power chords. Faulty mic problems throughout the show ended up with actors singing at diﬀerent volume levels and loud static interrupting guitar solos. The opening was a lesson in commitment, as performers powered through the technical struggles. Regardless, Triangle Production’s American Idiot has great potential, if they can get their mics under control. In light of last weekend’s shooting at Pulse night club, a portion of proceeds from the show will beneﬁt The Center, Orlando’s LGBTQ advocacy group. The Sanctuary at Sandy Plaza, 1785 NE Sandy Blvd., 503-239-5919. 7:30 pm Thursday-Saturday. June 9-July 2. $15-$35.

FRISKY WHISKER: Stag’s “body-positive non-ageist racially diverse strip/go-go night” is June 16.

FEATURE

Etiquette for Allies HOW TO PARTY FOR PRIDE, PROPERLY.

ALSO PLAYING Francesca, Isabella, Margarita on a Cloud

In Carol Triffle’s latest eccentric music-theatre piece, three Southern sisters spill their fame-shame moments, from backstage at a Tiny Miss pageant or accidentally naked on camera. Francesca, the smart one, inherited her childhood home for playing the loser in her parent’s pageant scam and now begrudgingly rents rooms to her sisters. Like a worn-out dollhouse, the set features faded pastels, protruding corners, painted appliances and uncanny doors good for revolving entrances and exits. The Portland-famous Megan Skye Hale keeps her considerable energy contained for this role, the stump to her sister’s swinging branches. Isabella (Elizabeth Fagan) returns from Albuquerque where she acted in an art film, or a “sensitive scene,” or yeah, porn. She flops and flails, dropping polaroids and fishing for praise. She is no match for Margarita (Anne Sorce), who has endless energy for self-aggrandizing, often using the top of the kitchen table as her pedestal and dishing scornful affection to her admirer, Bob the Weatherman (Sean Bowie), who dedicates each bizarre broadcast to her beauty. Exposition drags the play down, but its exaggerated physicality and quirky humor earns the applause. JESS DRAKE. Imago Theatre, 17 SE 8th Ave., 7:30 pm Thursday-Saturday and 2 pm Sunday, through June 19. $15-25.

The Skin of Our Teeth

A ﬁrst grader plays a woolly mammoth is this reprisal of Thornton Wilder’s Pulitzer-winning comedy. In it, one ordinary American family in New Jersey does the impossible. The Antrobus family lives through the entire history of the planet. A huge ensemble cast— including some of Portland’s top talents like Val Landrum, Michael Mendelson and the indomitable Vana O’Brien—acts out biblical stories and ancient myths, couching them all in the context of family life. Cain is a kid throwing rocks. Mom tries to herd animals two by two, like a domestic Noah. Dad’s busy inventing the wheel. No show July 4; extra show 2 pm Saturday, July 11. Artist’s Repertory Theatre, 1515 SW Morrison St., 503-241-1278. 7:30 pm Wednesday-Saturday; 2 and 7:30 pm Sunday, through June 19. $25.

CONT. on page 51

As last weekend’s tragedy reminded us, there’s a reason LGBTQ events, vogue and whaack nights are mostly underground. And it’s not that they’re elitist. “Everyone jokes about ‘safe spaces’ being this hypersensitive concept,” says Marquise Dickerson, a dancer known as Coco Black for local R&B band Chanti Darling, “but that comes from a time when we needed a place where we knew we wouldn’t get beat up.” But this week, perhaps more than ever, straight allies want to be part of the scene to show their support. That requires a delicate negotiation, says Pantyraid host Katey Hollenbeck, aka Vera Rubin. “Like a photograph, there’s a level of exposure that looks just right. Once it’s been overexposed, it looks terrible.” What should heterosexual partygoers do during Pride? Don’t ruin the party. True allies have respect for the difficult history that brought us to this point. Here’s what to do and not do. LAUREN TERRY.

Do act like a guest. Blaine Provancha, host of Frisky Whisker: “I love to be inclusive, but know that this space was created for gay people to get together. With recent events, our community is fragile. Come in, shake our hand, buy someone a drink, even if you don’t want to sleep with them. Be human.” Marquise Dickerson: “Don’t forget that we are running the show. You are at our dinner table and high faggotry is on the menu.” Provancha: “I should be able to walk up to a bar and not worry about someone having a negative response to my orientation, or body-shame me. This isn’t your safe haven, it’s ours.”

Don’t ﬂaunt your straightness. Dickerson: “The bachelorette parties used to sting, especially before gay marriage was passed. Like, ‘Girl, good for you, bye.’ Now it’s just tacky, in my opinion.” Katey Hollenbeck: “Wallflowers are OK, though. If you can’t dance, that’s OK. We are freak positive and creep negative.”

Do get a little dressy. Hollenbeck: “I don’t want to see untucked shirts and baggy jeans. I want beauty, drama, elegance…

my space is not the Lucky Lab. Get weird and get vulnerable, that’s what the night is for. Just remember that we’re making art, not Halloween costumes. Disco does not equal a leisure suit.” Dickerson: “It’s about escapism. Being somebody—something—else for a night. When you go to a show or want to go dance, you can’t fully escape without everyone being on the same page.”

Don’t take photos without permission. Hollenbeck: “My Pantyraid parties took place at the Belmont Bodega, a little grocery store. When some guy from Vice showed up, I threw him out. He was stealing our art to make money off of pictures of this event while we are struggling to pay power bills. It’s vulturing.”

Do say nice things. Hollenbeck: “Give good compliments that are not based in sexualizing people. Do not make comments on people’s bodies.” Dickerson: “If a queen, king, weird thing is performing, do not interrupt them. You have no idea how much goes into getting up on that stage. Let them have their shine.”

Don’t touch. Brandon Harrison, aka Hydrangea Strangea: “Oh, my God, the butt grabbing! Not OK. People don’t know what it takes to put our looks together and construct our outfits. Drunk girls should not be reaching up to touch people’s makeup.” Dickerson: “Don’t touch people without permission. I think straight people think this is an ‘anything goes’ type of place, when common sense still very much applies.”

Do leave if you’re not comfortable. Provancha: “It’s about knowing when you’re not in the right space, and when you’ve overstayed your welcome. If you aren’t comfortable, go to one of the other 19 parties aimed toward straight people going on that night. We have this one.” SEE IT: The Portland Pride Festival is at Tom McCall Waterfront Park, Southwest Pine Street and Naito Parkway, on Saturday and Sunday, June 18-19. The Pride Parade starts at West Burnside Street and Northwest Park Avenue at 11 am Sunday, June 19. Full calendar at pridenw.org/events.

Willamette Week JUNE 15, 2016 wweek.com

MAKE ART THINK DESIGN Drawing & Painting Atelier Workshops for All Levels Register now for Summer! PA�IFI� NORTHWEST �OLLEGE OF ART �ONTINUING EDUCATION

ce.pnca.edu Portland North Park Blocks 511 NW Broadway 503.821.8889

Willamette Week JUNE 15, 2016 wweek.com

PERFORMANCE

Stupid Kids

Enter Joe McCarthy High School in Anytown, America circa 1980-something. It’s a petri dish of drama, where two gay friends struggle with their budding hormones. Neechee is a recluse who falls for the town rebel. Kimberly is loud and proud and in love with the “it” girl. This staging of John C. Russell’s Off-Broadway satire comes from Post5’s new management, including Rusty Tennant, who also oversees the OUTwright LGBTQ-dedicated theater festival. It’s the “MTV generation’s” view of coming out, staged in an old Sellwood church. Extra show 7:30 pm Thursday, June 23. Post5 Theatre, 1666 SE Lambert St., 7:30 pm Friday-Sunday, through June 25. $20.

The Udmurts

The coffee line at intermission was buzzing after a startling bit of bloody Udmurtian horse magic just before the break (Udmurtia is a region of Russia, if you were wondering). Then, a perky Southern lady says: “I’ve just never seen nothing like that before. Two boys kissing! But that’s just real life, even if it ain’t mine. That’s why I love Defunkt.” It’s hard to resist enjoying the lazy seduction of a shining, virginal gay boy by a smooth-talking, trust-fund dude and his fierce, thieving girlfriend. They pass a joint around the pullout couch bed with rainbow afghan in the apartment filled with eclectic treasures, or junk, depending on your eye. Then the seduction turns sinister, to edgeplay with sexual violence and straight-up scams. Apartment owner Mrs. Huff (Jane Geesman), a former actress and last of the Udmurts—pagan redheads whose land was stolen by the USSR for chemical warfare factories—takes in a renter, Nate (Samson Syharath), who has fled his abusive Florida megachurch family. This play elegantly shifts between vulnerability, violence, arousal and betrayal, raising the question ”Who can be trusted?” JESS DRAKE. Defunkt Theatre, 4319 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 503-974-4938. 7:30 pm ThursdaySunday, May 13-June 18. Pay what you will Thursdays and Sundays, $15-$25 Fridays and Saturdays.

Weekend at Bernie’s

Not that Bernie. This might the the longest-running summer show in Portland, but the comedic buddy tale won’t last until election night.

Instead, Portland’s top improv talents stage the bumbling tale of two guys trying to convince the world that their boss is not dead. Think Office Space with 1980s Hawaiian shirts, mob bosses and super hot babes, inside Portland’s best new comedy venue. After the show, enjoy the fragrant Old Town scene outside. The Siren Theater, 315 NW Davis St., 10 pm FridaySaturday, June 10-July 30. $16.

DANCE Bob the Drag Queen

Bob the Drag Queen, winner of RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 8, will be headlining two shows at the Star Theater for Pride Sunday. The first event will be an all-ages drag show, and later on a 21+ event will be held. This is a chance to see some renowned talent in the world of drag and spice up your Pride Sunday with some LGBTQ fun, regardless of your age. Star Theater, 13 NW 6th Ave., startheaterportland.com. 1 pm All ages, 4 pm 21+, Sunday, June 19. SOLD OUT.

COMEDY Al’s Den Comedy Night

Danny Felts brings comics, mostly local stand-up folk and Seattleites passing through, for an hour long showcase. Sometimes the best part is watching Crystal Hotel guests awkwardly sidle by the stage, wearing only a swimsuit and towel, on their way to the pool behind this basement bar. Al’s Den, 303 SW 12th Ave., 10:30 pm Fridays and Saturdays. Free. 21+.

The Brody Open Mic

Twice-weekly, Portland’s most prolific improv venue opens its stage to everyone for 3-minute bits. Sign up online day of before 1 pm. Brody Theater, 16 NW Broadway, 224-2227. 8:30 pm Tuesday-Wednesday. Free.

Curious Comedy Playground

It’s basically free time for comedians. Acts run the gamut, from improv to video and musical comedy, and you never know who’s coming out to play. Curious Comedy Theater, 5225 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., 477-9477. 9:30 pm every first, third and fifth Thursday. Free.

The Dude Bra Tour

Mixing comedy and music, The Dude Bra Tour is rolling into Portland. Comedian Kate Willet has toured the world with Margaret Cho and performed with a murderers’ row of alt comics: Kyle Kinane, Jen Kirkman and Jackie Kashian among them. Rachel Lark is an up-andcoming musical sensation whose sex-positive music has appeared on the Savage Lovecast. Together, they are The Dude Bra Tour. Curious Comedy Theater, 5225 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., 503-477-9477. 9:30 pm Saturday, June 18, $10 advance, $15 day of show.

Extra Cheese

Brodie Kelly’s weekly pizza party/ comedy showcase gives locals a tight 5 for standup, and coincides with happy hour: $2.50 pints. Hotlips Pizza, 2211 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 234-9999. 8pm Mondays. Free.

Friday Night Fights

Curious’ twice-monthly improv competition pits teams that won last week’s Thursday Night Throwdown against one another. Curious Comedy Theater, 5225 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., 4779477. 9:30 pm every first and third Friday. Free.

Jay & Silent Bob Get Old

Jason Mewes and Kevin Smith, known since the ‘90s by the professional names Jay and Silent Bob, are icons of the late-era slacker generation, a time before the

Internet turned everybody into a pop culture expert. Older now, and with the pinnacle of their pop cultural relevance behind them, Jay &amp; Silent Bob are coming to Portland to share funny stories, probably talk about Batman, and most likely say some shit about Hollywood. Helium Comedy Club, 1510 SE 9th Ave., 888-643-8669. 7:15 pm Wednesday-Thursday, June 15-16, $35. 21+.

Jon Dore

Star of the eponymous The Jon Dore Television Show , Jon Dore has an impressive comedy resume. He’s appeared on Unusually Thicke, Alan Thicke’s reality-sitcom hybrid. He was a correspondent on Canadian Idol. He’s won three Canadian Comedy Awards. Also, Jon Dore is Canadian. Currently residing in Los Angeles, Dore comes to Portland for a two-night, four-show engagement that might include a joke or two about free healthcare and Justin Trudeau. Helium Comedy Club, 1510 SE 9th Ave., 888-6438669. 7:30 pm &amp; 10 pm FridaySaturday, June 17-18, $22-$30.

Sisters gonna slay. The Siren Theater, 315 NW Davis St., sirentheater.com. 7:30 pm Friday, June 17. $10.

Theater, 5225 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., 477-9477. 8 pm Sundays. Free.

Supernova

Sunday School

Brody’s students showcase their improv, sketch and standup skills— a different class each week. Brody Theater, 16 NW Broadway, 224-2227. 7:30 pm Thursdays. $5.

Curious Comedy Open Mic

Sign up start at 7:15, and every comic gets a tight three minutes onstage in this weekly show hosted by Andie Main. Curious Comedy

Workshop students, veteran crews and groups that pre-register online perform long form improv every Sunday. Curious Comedy Theater, 5225 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., 477-9477. 6 pm Sundays. $5 suggested donation .

For more Performance listings, visit

REVIEW C O U R T E S Y O F C O R R I B T H E AT R E

A Streetcar Named Desire

Demetrius Grosse, a gargantuan column of muscle definition and sweat-licked skin, dominates Portland Center Stage’s A Streetcar Named Desire as theater’s most well-known abuser, Stanley Kowalski. The entire production is a perfectly cast and detail-oriented take on Tennessee Williams’ classic. As one of our wealthiest theaters, PCS can afford Equity talent, extras, a warehouse of costumes, and sets by award winners like New York’s G.W. Mercier. Streetcar brings it all. But too many theatrical tricks distract from the show’s biggest asset—the cast. Alongside Grosse’s monolith of masculinity, Kristen Adele is the ideal Stella—a wideeyed young wife frosting cakes and tidying. She looks at home in lacecollared pinafores, bare feet and a hairstyle like Dorothy’s in Oz. The addled Blanche, on the other hand, is an explosion of manic energy as played by NAACP award-winner Deidrie Henry, Like sardines, the characters pack into the tworoom set, a dilapidated French Quarter apartment with crumbling plaster. There’s always an extra to watch, a costume change to judge, a jazz riff punctuating dialogue or a prostitute lighting up in the wings. Portland Center Stage, 128 NW 11th Ave., 503-445-3700. 7:30 pm Tuesday-Wednesday and Friday; noon and 7:30 pm Thursday; 2 and 7:30 pm Saturday-Sunday. Through June 19. $25-$75.

Kevin Smith

A writer, comedian, podcaster, and film director, Kevin Smith has written and directed for films, including Clerks, Chasing Amy, Dogma, and Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back. His most recent bit of writing, Tough Sh*t: Life Advice from a Fat,Lazy Slob Who Did Good speaks for itself. See the man who brought the world Dogma in the flesh. Helium Comedy Club, 1510 SE 9th Ave.. 9:30 pm TuesdayWednesday, June 14-15. Free.

Lez Stand Up

A special Pride edition of the regular and hilarious lady-things show helmed by Portland’s Caitlin Weierhauser and Bob Wolf. “All your fav lezzes” will be there, like Mel Heywood, Diane Gasperin, Laura Anne Whitley and headliner Whitney Streed, hot off Bridgetown Comedy Fest. The Siren Theater, 315 NW Davis St., sirentheater.com. 8 pm Thursday, June 16. $10.

The Liberators

Portland’s best veteran sketch comedy group is a rare catch. Shelley—owner of The Siren Theater—and other members Tony, Nicholas and John are usually producing their own shows, on The Moth or Grimm. This one-night reunion show will be hilarious—possibly the best improv you can get in Portland—and, most notably, is just as much a reunion for the fanbase as the crew. Don’t hold your breath for the next show. The Siren Theater, 315 NW Davis St., sirentheater.com. 7:30 pm Saturday, June 18. $12 advance, $16 at the door.

Open Court

This weekly, long-form improv show combines performers from many Portland theaters and troupes. Newbies are welcome and teams are picked at random, then coached by an improv veteran before taking the stage. Curious Comedy Theater, 5225 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., 477-9477. 7:30 pm Thursdays. $5.

The Ranger Station Open Mic

Sign ups start at 8 pm for a weekly open mic night hosted by Victor Johnson, set in the whiskey-heavy bar WW once compared to “a Roosevelt-era public works cabin.” The Ranger Station, 4260 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 894-8455. 8:30 pm Wednesday. Free. 21+.

Sisters of Mercy

The one-year-old Sisters sketch group includes Siren Theater owner and Portland improv master Shelley McLendon (she’s headlining Saturday with The Liberators). Joining her are Stumptown Improv Fest co-founder Erin O’Regan, B. Fran Masters of BackFence PDX and a crew that regularly acts in McLendon’s Bad Reputations shows.

NANNY DIARIES: McKinney, Weaver and Salmon.

Domestic Hurt

Blue moonlight falls through the window of an all-white kitchen, hitting a small mirror on the table and bouncing back onto the steel blade of a knife in the hand of a somber young boy. He has carefully sterilized his own ear in preparation. When a muffled noise offstage stops his next, disturbing action, the boy skulks into the shadows without anyone knowing what almost happened. What is out of sight is what matters most in Nancy Harris’ suspenseful, domestic drama from Corrib Theatre. In the light of day, the kitchen is crowded with boxes of glass bottles containing a thick yellow liquid. Everything and everyone here seems suspect thanks to the eerily suburban, detailed set. It’s only olive oil, imported from Italy, a new business venture for mompreneur Hazel. Privileged, pissed and pregnant—a terrifying combination, and she knows it—Hazel has written to her husband, Richard, for help. He is heroically away, fixing burn victims in war-torn countries in his role as a doctor without borders. To cover his absence, Richard hires a nanny named Annie (without consulting his wife). For Hazel, the only thing worse than not being able to do it all is to be seen failing. Our New Girl is a show made of tense dialogue and fierce gazes. Annie (Paige McKinney) watches Hazel’s mistakes and makes notes in her journal. Richard (Todd Van Voris) watches his patients, prescribes pills and leaves. Their son Daniel (Atticus Salmon) gets reprimanded at school for his “aggressive staring.” Fitting Corrib Theatre’s trend of dark Irish plays, the show mines its characters and script for the drama. Portland mainstay Nikki Weaver is a perfectly restrained Hazel, lips pursed as she contemplates her failure— not being a gorgeous Italian woman who effortlessly feeds a baby while kneading bread, running a vineyard and wearing stilettos. Usually a firecracker onstage, Weaver plays worn-out here. Her mom bob is a bit mousy, and her biceps look thin sticking out of a baggy jumper. We get stuck with things we don’t like, posits Harris’ Girl. Sometimes that is your child wanting a poisonous pet instead of a puppy or your patients’ gruesome injuries in abysmal conditions. For audiences enjoying director Gemma Whelan’s finely curated mini-season, though, this fourth and final show feels anything but stuck. JESS DRAKE.

The help is always watching in Corrib’s season closer, Our New Girl.

SEE IT: Our New Girl is at Portland Actors Conservatory Theatre, 1436 SW Montgomery St., corribtheatre. org. 7:30 pm Thursday-Saturday and 2 pm Sunday, through June 26. $25. Willamette Week JUNE 15, 2016 wweek.com

VISUAL ARTS = WW Pick. Highly recommended. By JENNIFER RABIN. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, submit show information—including opening and closing dates, gallery address and phone number—at least two weeks in advance to: Visual Arts, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Email: espitz@wweek.com.

Tooth & Claw

The front gallery of Jeffrey Thomas Fine Art is teeming with life. Cross sections of tree trucks hang on the far wall. Large steel carbon chains wait to be stepped over. A dark form on a white canvas could be a taproot or a dendrite. Artist and designer Brian Borrello uses wholly unnatural materials like fiberglass, epoxy and motor oil to create a series of sculptures and paintings that represent the building blocks of life and make a powerful statement about man’s relationship to and effect on the natural world. Jeffrey Thomas Fine Art, 2219 NW Raleigh St., 503-544-3449. Through June 18.

Stupid Man

Specular

When you arrive at Hap Gallery this month, the space will be completely empty save for a pair of enormous black goggles hanging on the wall, trailed by a long chord. Putting them on transports you into an immersive virtual reality installation, designed by artist Damien Gilley, that resembles the digital future promised to us by sci-fi films of the ’80s (think: Tron). Neon green and fuchsia lines, like laser beams, define the planes of the room, giving you the impression that you are inside a three-dimensional blueprint drawn by an architect on hallucinogens. Gilley developed the installation during a residency with the interactive software company dotdotdash, which coded the program so that Gilley could draw and edit the environment himself, in three dimensions, using wireless remotes in both hands. Gilley employs such economy of gesture, giving us so much to navigate with so little. Hap Gallery, 916 NW Flanders St., 503-444-7101. Through July 9.

Reactive Matters

This might be the first time you see a photo show in which one of the photographers never touched a camera. Newspace’s thoughtful exhibition, Reactive Matters, features the work of three photographers about the effect of nuclear energy on our environment. Shimpei Takeda exposes photosensitive paper to soil samples from Fukushima, capturing latent images of radioactivity that look like the night sky—his camera nowhere in sight. Abbey Hepner photographs nuclear waste facilities using a vanished processing technique involving uranium that lends an acid-orange cast to her images. Jeremy Bolen buried his film near nuclear reactors before unearthing it to document the surrounding landscapes. The work of these three artists is a powerful testament to

Willamette Week JUNE 15, 2016 wweek.com

Or Fact a Formal Treatment

Artist Robert Schlegel and his son Rob Schlegel, a poet, collaborated on a series of visual and textual works on paper. Using dictionary pages as his canvas, the elder Schlegel drew acrylic and charcoal figures against a wordy background that his son scoured for the building blocks of his poems. The resulting work, shown as limited-edition archival prints, shows form interrupted by language and language obscured by form, causing us to look at both more critically and with greater curiosity. Roll-Up Photo Studio + Gallery, 1715 SE Spokane St., 503-267-5835. Through June 30.

Out There

Printmaker Alyson Provax is interested in “how we approach that which we do not know.” In Out There, Wolff Gallery’s second exhibition, Provax uses monotype, collage and the experimental letterpress techniques she is known for to explore the mysteries of the universe. In one piece, the artist prints the phrase “I felt the sound more than heard it,” and repeats it diagonally across the paper, like a mechanical glitch that conveys the faded echo of someone’s story about a UFO encounter. Wolff Gallery, 618 NW Glisan St., Suite R1, 971-413-1340. Through July 3.

COURTESY OF SHARON BRONzAN

Ty Ennis’ series of grayscale paintings are rough and loose. Images of a heron, a cowboy in shadow and a man skinning a deer are rendered with few assertive brush strokes, conveying worlds with little gesture. With Stupid Man<em></em>, Ennis set out to make a body of work that would return him to an earlier time—when he first started painting—with fewer materials, expectations and obligations. The simplicity, joy and freedom of that time are evident in the work, folded in with autobiographical references to his life as a new father (think Looney Tunes characters). He successfully uses the visual language and techniques of youth to question the expectations and obligations of adulthood. Nationale, 3360 SE Division St., 477-9786. Through June 18.

conceptual photography. Newspace Center for Photography, 1632 SE 10th Ave., 503-963-1935. Through July 23.

tary short The United States v. Tim DeChristopher. The film, projected in the back gallery at Elizabeth Leach, tells the story of DeChristopher’s protest of an oil and gas auction in Utah’s untouched Red Rocks region. In an attempt to prevent drilling, DeChristpher bid on 22,000 acres of land totaling $1.8 million dollars and, upon winning, refused to pay. There are setbacks and triumphs to how things turn out—and I don’t want to spoil it—but Bowers shows us how the average person can take on powerful forces to change great swaths of our country. Elizabeth Leach Gallery, 417 NW 9th Ave., 503-224-0521. Through July 16.

Album

Photographer Joe Rudko creates a series of assemblages out of photos he found in an abandoned shed. Sorting through thousands of images which were taken over 100 years, Rudko bridges the expanse of time by working with visual commonalities— water, shadows, sky—to create new compositions that speak to the universal human experience. The title of the series, Album, suggests that by culling elements from photos taken over a century by different people, in different parts of the world, one can create a photo album that includes everyone. In the hands of another person, the collage assembly might have fallen flat or have been, at best, uninspired, but Rudko’s masterful understanding of rhythm, negative space and composition makes the work moving and transcendent. PDX Contemporary Art, 925 NW Flanders St., 503-227-5111. Through July 2.

2016 Student Thesis Exhibition

Going to see student work can be a great way to scout out diamonds in the rough. This time around, two pieces of conceptual sculpture by Hannah Hertrich steal the show. Exploring the realities of being torn between two cultures, Hertrich constructs a bench with blond, un-ornamented wood on one side and dark, lathetuned wood on the other— and then pulls them apart like taffy, with materialdefying threads in between. In another piece, the backs of two off-kilter chairs are joined in a twisted arch high above them, creating a beautiful but strained bridge in between. Hertrich’s conceptual premise and the meticulous craftsmanship she employs to bring it to fruition are more impressive than work I’ve seen at blue-chip galleries. Someone please give this woman a show. PNCA, 511 NW Broadway, 503-2264391. Through June 17.

RESCUE BY SHARON BRONZAN

Sharon Bronzan

Sometimes we find treasures where we’re not looking. If you bypass the two main exhibitions at Augen Gallery (we’re going rogue here), you will find a series of figurative paintings on panel by artist Sharon Bronzan. Bronzan’s female subjects stand triumphantly in treetops and consort with foxes and antelope, all while wearing clothes that match the forms of nature around them. The magical quality of the work makes it feel as though it was created by a fine artist who got her start illustrating children’s books. So unless you’re hard-hearted or have lost your sense of wonder, Bronzan’s paintings will carry to back to a sweeter more innocent time. Augen Gallery, 716 NW Davis St., 546-5056. Through July 2.

The United States v. Tim DeChristopher Some artists devote themselves to creating objects, others to creating awareness. Andrea Bowers, an artist and social activist, falls into the latter category with her documen-

Subduction

When you walk into Upfor to survey the exhibition as a whole, there is a vanished and unknowable quality to the work. You tell yourself that if you get closer, each piece will reveal itself to you. But strangely, surprisingly, gloriously, that never happens. Even when you look at the materials list for each of the 2-D pieces— which range from lithographic plates to pigment prints to wax paper—it’s impossible to tell how the images were created. And this feels entirely freeing. Upfor’s ambitious mission to show time-based and new media work that often centers around technology, can cause its exhibitions to feel disjointed. But with Subduction, a three-person show featuring the work of artists Sharon Koelblinger, Harold Mendez and Ronny Quevedo, Upfor has created a beautifully cohesive show that will sink into your bones if you let it. Upfor, 929 NW Flanders St., 503-227-5111. Through July 9.

For more Visual Arts listings, visit

BOOKS = WW Pick. Highly recommended. By JAMES HELMSWORTH. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, submit lecture or reading information at least two weeks in advance to: WORDS, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Email: words@wweek.com. Fax: 243-1115.

THURSDAY, JUNE 16 Gary Corbin

When Lehigh Carter ﬁnds an injured dog by the side of the road, his girlfriend convinces him he should take it in. But this reluctant act of kindness embroils Carter in a political conﬂict that could mean his life. It’s The Mountain Man’s Dog, from Camas local Gary Corbin. Annie Bloom’s Books, 7834 SW Capitol Highway, 503-246-0053. 7 pm. Free.

Comma: Melissa Madenski

the name of every bit of ﬂora and fauna in their San Francisco neighborhood. In Unseen City, the elder Johnson explains both the science behind the integration of the wild with the city and what we can learn from it. Powell’s Books on Hawthorne, 3723 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 800-878-7323. 7:30 pm. Free.

Christopher Boucher

You could call Christopher Boucher’s Golden Delicious absurd, but that might not be the right word. It’s narrated by a guy named ______, whose town in Massachusetts gets infested with bookworms—some kind of weird mythical creature. The economy tanks, and his mother joins a militia called the Mothers. Witty? Whimsical? I don’t know. Whatever way, it’ll probably be unlike anything you’ve ever read. Powell’s

City of Books, 1005 W Burnside St., 800-878-7323. 7:30 pm. Free.

TUESDAY, JUNE 21 Natashia Deón

PEN Fellowship recipient Natashia Deón weaves together the story of a mother and daughter in her debut, Grace. Naomi escapes slavery in Alabama, hides in a brothel in Atlanta, and falls for a white gambler named Jeremy. Twenty years later, her daughter Josey ﬁnds that the Emancipation Proclamation brings more violence than freedom. Powell’s City of Books, 1005 W Burnside St., 800-878-7323. 7:30 pm. Free.

For more Books listings, visit

REVIEW

Comma is a weekly reading series held at Broadway Books, hosted by multidisciplinary artist Kirsten Rian. This week, she’ll be joined by Melissa Madenski, a children’s book author, poet and essayist who lives on the coast. Broadway Books, 1714 NE Broadway, 284-1726. 7 pm. Free.

Portland Nonprofits!

The Star Trek Book

This book ﬁts conveniently in a camping backpack to correct that normie question master at your neighborhood trivia night. Powell’s Books at Cedar Hills Crossing, 3415 SW Cedar Hills Blvd., Beaverton, 800-878-7323. 7 pm. Free.

Sean Carswell & Ron Tanner

If there’s one thing that writers love it’s, well, writers. Sean Carswell takes this aﬃnity as far as it can go with The Metaphysical Ukulele, a series of short stories about writers that at least features a metaphysical ukulele. No, I don’t know what that is either. He’ll be speaking with Ron Tanner, author of the biting satire Missile Paradise. Powell’s Books on Hawthorne, 3723 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 800-878-7323. 7:30 pm. Free.

Mary Roach

Mary Roach has built an empire on monosyllabic scientific nonfiction titles: Stiff explored cadavers, Spook the science of the afterlife, Bonk sex, and Gulp the gastrointestinal tract. In her latest, Grunt, she explores the science of war: how soldiers stay awake, stay cool and poop in wartime. Wait, she has a book called Packing for Mars? Well, pobody’s nerfect I guess. Powell’s City of Books, 1005 W Burnside St., 800-878-7323. 7:30 pm. Free.

FRIDAY, JUNE 17 Poetry Press Week

Fashion week draws a tremendous amount of buzz and media coverage, so why couldn’t poetry do the same? Oh, right, because there’s even less money in poetry than there is in telling jokes about books. Well, now that that’s covered, Poetry Press Week is a showcase of Portland’s ﬁnest poetic talents. W. Vandoren Wheeler and Susan Moore will headline June 17 and 18, respectively. Disjecta, 8371 N Interstate Ave., 503- 286-9449. 7:30 pm. Free.

MONDAY, JUNE 20 Ian Frazier

Ian Frazier has been writing for The New Yorker since 1974, winning the Thurber Prize in 1997 for his book Coyote v. Acme. His latest book is a compilation of his reporting and essays entitled Hogs Wild. Powell’s Books at Cedar Hills Crossing, 3415 SW Cedar Hills Blvd., Beaverton, 800-878-7323. 7 pm. Free.

Nathanael Johnson

While walking his daughter to day care, Nathanael Johnson was constantly beset by questions: The younger Johnson wanted to know

Pauls Toutonghi, DOG GONE The thing about Gonker was, if nobody found him, he was going to die. The dog had Addison’s disease, an affliction of the adrenal gland that requires monthly injections. So when he bounded into the underbrush of the Appalachian forest in October 1998 and didn’t come back, Fielding Marshall had only 20 days to find his best friend. Portland author Pauls Toutonghi, who happens to be Fielding’s brother-in-law, takes an intriguing parcel of family lore—the fervid (some would call it obsessive) hunt for a missing pet—and uses it to explore histories of abuse and illness that cloud an otherwise idyllic suburban household. Dog Gone (Knopf, 272 pages, $25) is a quick read with a deceptively humble focus: how dogs impact the lives of the humans who care for them. But as we get to know Fielding and his family, we see the dogs in their lives filling the cracks pried open by broken human relationships. For Fielding’s mother, a Japanese Akita becomes a source of affection and comfort during some of the darkest moments of a traumatic childhood. He “[rescued] her, and [stood] by her, in the midst of the vast wilderness” of her mother’s anger and addiction. For Fielding, Gonker helps to heal the wounds of a whirlwind college romance that ended with the death of his girlfriend’s infant. Dog Gone’s most compelling moments emerge in these backstories. Toutonghi has a formal writing style, as well as a tendency to analyze his own story as he’s telling it. In the book’s prologue, he informs readers that what they’re about to encounter is “really about duty and death, about the way our past shapes our present, and the way we fill our necessary roles most vividly in a crisis.” But the book treats its subjects kindly, and over the course of 54 short chapters, we begin to view the trials of the Marshall family with a sincerity and suspension of judgment that most of us want from the animals in our lives but only rarely enjoy from the humans. “Dogs,” Toutonghi writes, “burrow into the deepest parts of ourselves. They live inside of us, in a part of our soul that we don’t normally access.” In Dog Gone, Toutonghi burrows just as deeply into some of his family’s most painful memories. He is trusting us to treat them with the same kindness and humilty he shows. GRACE CULHANE.

It’s time! Apply for the 2016 Give!Guide and Nominate someone for the Skidmore Prize

AVAILABLE UNTIL JUNE 30 AT GIVEGUIDE.ORG “Give!Guide is a toolkit that allows nonprofits to have a really successful, professional yearend giving campaign. WW does all of the heavy lifting, such as creating the website, gift processing and city-wide promotion, and PPN! just works really hard to educate people about how important our work is and encourage people to donate. G!G allows us to raise more money than we ever could on our own.” —Julie Miller, former Development Director, PDX Pop Now!

GO: Pauls Toutonghi reads at Powell’s City of Books, 1001 W Burnside St., 503-228-4651, powells.com, on Friday, June 17. 7:30 pm. Free. Willamette Week JUNE 15, 2016 wweek.com

= WW Pick. Highly recommended. Editor: ENID SPITZ. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, send screening information at least two weeks in advance to Screen, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Email: espitz@wweek.com. Fax: 243-1115.

OPENING THIS WEEK Central Intelligence

Dwayne Johnson and Kevin Hart’s buddy action comedy comes with a tagline too corny to print and too fitting not to Google-bait. From DodgeBall director Rawson Marshall Thurber, Central Intelligence follows lethal CIA agent Bob Stone (Johnson) to his high school reunion. Once the bully’s target in school, Stone persuades former classmate and athlete Calvin Joyner (Hart), now an accountant, to help him with a top-secret case. Little does Calvin know about the espionage that might get them both killed. Screened after deadline; see wweek.com for Michelle Devona’s review. PG-13. Bridgeport, Cedar Hills, City Center, Clackamas, Division, Eastport, Lloyd, Pioneer Place, Tigard, Vancouver.

Finding Dory

B+ The sea has become a little more

existential since Nemo got found. For 13 years, the entire world eagerly awaited Pixar’s sequel and the return of Ellen DeGeneres as the forgetful Dory. This time, Dory is on a quest to find her family. The Nemo clan’s all here— the SoCal sea turtle still stoned—plus the introduction of a likable, pessimistic octopus named Hank (Ed O’Neill) and catty sea lion (Idris Elba). The film keeps its Nemo charm and comedic voices while offering a more serious tone for Pixar’s message: We are all special, in our own way. You can sway to the singing stingrays, 3-D giggle at a nearsighted hammerhead shark and appreciate the humor in fish residing in a rehabilitation center for “sick” sea life. There’s tears to fill a tide pool, wit to keep adults amused, and laughs for any audience with a short attention span. You will (hopefully) remember a majority of this film. PG. AMY WOLFE. Bagdad, Bridgeport, Cedar Hills, City Center, Clackamas, Division, Eastport, Lloyd, Pioneer Place, St. Johns 1 & 2, Tigard, Vancouver.

Genius

B Thomas Wolfe’s novels have largely

faded from public memory, and Genius is more interesting for it. Despite a couple “Welcome to literary history!” banners unfurling in the form of Hemingway and Fitzgerald asides, it’s a movie of timeless artistic arguments between writer and editor—about the nobility and pitfalls of prose and pruning that prose. Played loudly by Jude Law, Wolfe is flamboyantly Southern and verbose. The historical drama’s heart, however, belongs to Colin Firth guardedly portraying editor Maxwell Perkins. Housed mostly in a drab, Depression-era office at Scribner, Genius fails like so many author movies to make the creation of brilliant fiction compelling. But peel back the cheese and half-done parts for Perkins’ family, and the central parable on loneliness, friendship and business would survive most editors’ pencils. PG-13. CHANCE SOLEM-PFEIFER. Fox Tower.

Honeyglue

C A twee romp through the familiar territory of indie faux-rebellion, James Bird’s Honeyglue goes through all the regular motions. This time the leads are Morgan, the naive and terminally ill teenage daughter of a loving family, and her love interest Jordan, a sanctimonious and gender-bending rebel with a dark past. After a cute shotgun wedding, the couple commits a cute robbery and randomly kidnaps a doctor—but in, like, a cute and consequence-free kinda way. A powerful scene sporadically appears, but there’s also a song-and-dance number,

COURTESY OF CINEMA LIBRE STUDIOS

MOVIES children’s animation within the narrative, and the forced use of 19 mm film. As it tackles issues like cancer, death and gender dynamics, Honeyglue is a lot like Portland: conventionally unconventional. R. CURTIS COOK. Clinton Street Theater.

Portland Jewish Film Festival

The 24th festival brings modern-day mensches to the big screen with two weeks of culturally significant film. Week one screens In Search of Israeli Cuisine (7 pm Thursday, June 16), with chef Michael Solomonov, owner of the restaurant Zahav, spotlighting Israeli food and history in a film that bests Anthony Bourdain’s No Reservations. In The Midnight Orchestra (7 pm Wednesday, June 15), the son of a famous Jewish musician travels from Morocco to lay his father to rest and reconnect with his dad’s old bandmates, enlisting the unlikely help of an entertaining cab driver along the way. The Kind Words (4:30 pm Sunday, June 19) is a comedy-drama that follows a sister and two brothers who discover their birth mother is still alive after the woman who raised them dies of cancer. Packed with surprising humor, the quirky film has an allure that works in any language. NR. AMY WOLFE. NW Film Center’s Whitsell Auditorium. Full schedule at nwfilm.org.

A Time to Choose

A- Climate change activism is persuasive again in this availing take by Oscar-winning documentarian Charles Ferguson. Here, Oscar Isaac narrates a sobering sequence of interviews and scenes of environmental devastation. Divided into three categories—coal and electricity, oil and gas, land and food— the film’s talking heads include Jane Goodall and Nobel winner Steven Chu. Time to Choose drives the message home. Should the population rest on its laurels (i.e., unsustainable energy technologies), runaway climate change is the global catastrophe we doom our children to. NR. JENNIFER LEE. Empirical.

STILL SHOWING 3rd Street Blackout

C+ For tech-savvy yuppies, Hurricane Sandy was a life-changing experience. Not because they lost their homes, but because they had to return to strictly analog interactions. Mina and Rudy, a couple who have just moved in together get separated during the blackout. While you may not know what a “two-Roku household” means, everyone can relate to their confused adaptation to a week without cell service. NR. LAUREN TERRY. Living Room Theaters.

10 Cloverfield Lane

C+ The gist of J.J. Abrams’ latest thriller is, basically, don’t text and drive. Also, don’t break up with your fiance, or else you’ll get in a terrible car accident, be abducted by a Lolita-inspired murderer and watch your whole family die in the alien apocalypse—in one night. PG-13. SOPHIA JUNE. Academy, Avalon, Laurelhurst.

Alice Through the Looking Glass

D James Bobin has turned down the quirk from Tim Burton’s atrocious predecessor—viewers are mercifully spared another Johnny Depp dance number— but the basic problems remain. It’s bad, and everyone involved should feel bad. PG. JOHN LOCANTHI. Beaverton, Bridgeport, Cedar Hills, City Center, Clackamas, Division, Eastport, Living Room Theaters, Tigard, Vancouver.

The Angry Birds Movie

Perhaps the greatest Finnish-American collaboration this decade is this movie based on a game based on anger management therapy and avian flu. PG. Bridgeport, Cedar Hills, City Center, Clackamas, Division, Oak Grove, Tigard, Vancouver.

Willamette Week JUNE 15, 2016 wweek.com

CONT. on page 56

cEntErS For diSEaSE control: the cdc suppressed evidence, says director andrew Wakefield.

REVIEW

Vaxxed Is Wack BAD JOURNALISM ABOUNDS IN A SHITTY RESEARCHER’S SHITTY DOCUMENTARY ABOUT AUTISM AND VACCINES.

With a little bit of research, the “documentary” degrades further. One of the key talking heads is, in fact, a voice—that of Dr. William Thompson, who was secretly recorded by another doctor, Brian Hooker, who appears prominently in the movie. That’s bad Vaxxed, the documentary by researcher and activ- journalism. There’s also the fact that the increase in ist Andrew Wakefield that links mumps, measles documented cases of autism has been concurrent and rubella vaccine (given to all children in their with increased rigor in autism screenings. We’re infancy) and autism, is dangerous. Not dangerous in looking harder, so we find it more. And while the CDC a cool, countercultural, Hunter S. Thompson sense, works with Merck, Bristol-Myers Squibb, GlaxoSbut in the sense that not vaccinating your kids is mithKline and Pfizer, vaccines were reported to be dangerous. It has the potential to spread diseases 1 or 2 percent of those companies’ sales. That makes eradicated decades ago. Diseases that leave people the incentive behind a potential cover-up pretty brain-damaged and sterile. dubious. Vaccines aren’t really a lucrative business. We live in hostile, polarized times. So, let me Motive is an important factor in conspiraextend a verbal olive branch: I legitimately cies. Would Pfizer et al. give the CDC enough opened my mind when I sat down to money to eclipse the Centers’ mission, the “NOW watch Vaxxed. lives it imperiled and the $1.73 billion it I HAvE A It’s totally reasonable to believe receives from the federal government? What about all the scientists whose in widespread government coverNEW AND ups. The U.S. government spies auspices this would have passed SUCCESSFUL through? What do they gain? on you through your computer and phone, the Chicago police Wakefield has a lot to gain from CAREER AS A proving vaccines cause autism—most department ran a secret torture FILMMAKER.” notably, redeeming his reputation and chamber, and public officials in our —Andrew Wakefield career. But the evidence is against him. own city knowingly allowed our kids to drink polluted water. If all of these “Compared to when the original incorare true—and they are—is it so crazy to rect Wakefield research came out, we actually think the Centers for Disease Control could be cover- know more than ever about the causes of autism,” ing up vaccines’ ability to cause autism? I listened to explained one of the doctors in my family, Dr. Wakefield’s argument. James Priest. Autism is genetic. My zen attitude lasted about 40 minutes, less That’s how science works. Somebody finds out a than halfway through the movie. Vaxxed is a mess. thing, others look into it, then they add to the findings. It starts with an animated history of the MMR vac- In the case of Wakefield, the scientific method revealed cine, before getting to Wakefield’s research, which he was totally wrong. But he’s led his crusade from the has since been completely discredited. Using sound frying pan of bad science into the fire of bad journalbites from autism journalists, activists and parents ism. The overwhelming bias in the film, and the degree of autistic people, and a few shorthand notes from a to which it goes unchecked, further damns Wakefield. CDC meeting schedule, it posits that the CDC supConspiracies are real, but what differentiates the pressed evidence the MMR vaccine causes autism MMR vaccine-autism conspiracy from others is that in order to retain funding from Big Pharma. others have a body of evidence that proves they are Parents’ testimonials are the most compelling true. Should evidence that vaccines cause autism part of Vaxxed. It’s moving to watch them sacrifice appear, I will raise the alarm. As will, no doubt, the everything to raise their children and organize activ- vast majority of pediatricians across the country. But ism on behalf of their offspring. It’s also emblematic that hasn’t happened. Vaccinate your goddamn kids. of what’s wrong with this documentary. It’s not sci- JAMES HELMSWORTH. entific evidence. A teary-eyed anecdote about how F SEE it: Vaxxed opens Friday at Cinema 21. a kid started showing signs of autism after getting a Producers Del Bigtree and Polly Tommey will vaccine does not mean we should stop vaccinating. appear for Q&As after the 3:45 and 7 pm shows Saturday and Sunday. Correlation is not causation.

’Screen Up BY AP K RYZ A

503-243-2122

When you wait all year for a Portland summer, it seems almost a sin to just sit around watching movies (God, Mom!). Unless you do it outside.

99W Drive-In

3110 Portland Road, Newberg. Fridays-Sundays, through late October.

The scene: 99W a classic drive-in and just nabbed No. 1 in America in USA Today’s reader’s poll. One of the last remaining ones, it’s a historic landmark full of hickey-spotted teenagers and parents who misremember the experience of a double feature with your folks. Best bet: The Absolutely Volkswagen car cruise Aug. 13 is basically history coming to life.

Flicks on the Bricks

Pioneer Courthouse Square, 701 SW 6th Ave., thesquarepdx.com. Fridays, July 22-Aug. 19.

The scene: The same crowds from Movies at the Park, plus whichever clipboarders and MAX-stop denizens who decide to get distracted by the magic of Tom Hanks in Big (July 22) instead of harassing passersby. Best bet: The Sandlot (Aug. 19), for the generation that refers to 1995-2009 as “Old Portland” and leaves PBR cans all over parks after adult kickball games, is a modern classic of baseball, prepubescence and puking on strangers.

Hollywood Theatre’s State Park Screenings

Molalla River State Park, June 25. L.L. “Stub” Stewart State Park, Aug. 6. Two more dates TBA. Free, tickets required.

RICK VODICKA

The scene: The latest addition to the outdoor screening scene, the Hollywood Theatre is going full road show with themed screenings like Best in Show (June 25) with an accompanying doggyfashion competition. Best bet: The mountain bike-themed screening at Stub Stewart (Aug. 6) promises trail rides. The movie is TBA, but if it’s not BMX Bandits, consider it a dropped ball.

Movies at Dusk at Pix Pix Pâtisserie, 2225 E Burnside St. Wednesdays, through Sept. 28.

The scene: Outdoor cinema reimagined as suburban French backyard, complete with incredible macarons, themed cocktails and berets. Best bet: Who Framed Roger Rabbit (July 20) is a solid bet, but watching Wes Anderson’s best film, Rushmore (Aug. 10), with a crowd resembling grown-up Max Fischers is the golden ticket.

Movies in the Park

Various Portland parks, portlandoregon.gov. July 7-Sept. 10.

The scene: Kids can make all the noise they want as parents sip wine out of Solo cups and watch movies on a big-ass inflatable screen. Best bet: Kiddie fare—Toy Story, Inside Out, Zootopia—dominates, but with Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (George Park, July 20) turning 30 this year, now’s the perfect time to expose kids to the ’80s most charming sociopath.

Night Movies at Cartopia

Cartopia, Southeast 12th Avenue and Hawthorne Boulevard. Sundays, through Sept. 25.

The scene: The threat of condos replacing the OG pod has subsided. The tradition of loading up on Chicken and Guns and pairing your food coma with a questionable movie continues. This year, each feature is paired with an episode of The X-Files. The real one. Not the shitty reboot. Best of the best: An ’80s ode to cocaine and cadaver defilement, Weekend at Bernie’s (July 17) will entice and confuse crowds still feelin’ the Bern.

Top Down Rooftop Cinema Hotel deLuxe, 729 SW 15th Ave. Thursdays, July 14-Aug. 25.

The scene: For its swanky, social screenings, the rooftop of Hotel deLuxe transforms into a combination wine bar, concert and theater. No need to put your booze in a bag to watch classics like Plan 9 From Outer Space (July 14) or cult favorite Raising Arizona (July 21). Best bet: Joe Cornish’s 2011 sci-fi comedy, Attack the Block (Aug. 11), blends slick carnage and Amblin-style hijinks when aliens and hoodies clash in London.

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Willamette Week JUNE 15, 2016 wweek.com

MOVIES Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice

D The new Warner Bros. Superman

is classically boring, overpowered and out of place in the 21st century. Batman, on the other hand, has been reinvented as a huge dickhead. Played by Ben Aﬄeck with a characteristic lack of gravitas, Batman walks around in a silly metal suit killing people. You know how Batman never kills people? He does now. Despite the rare bright spots—like Jesse Eisenberg’s intriguingly outlandish Lex Luthor and Amy Adams as a strong international war reporter version of Lois Lane—I left feeling bored and slightly concussed from giant men punching each other into buildings for no reason. PG-13. ALEX FALCONE. Avalon, Vancouver.

A Bigger Splash

B+ Luxuriate in the sexiness of director Luca Guadagnino’s (I Am Love) hypersensual images of island love, where a rock star (Tilda Swinton) and her boyfriend vacation on the island of Pantelleria, sunbathing and having sex in silence. R. EZRA JOHNSONGREENOUGH. Fox Tower.

Captain America: Civil War

WILLAMETTE WEEK’S 2016

A- Captain America: Civil War, though, is proof you can jam pretty much every superhero in your roster into one ﬁlm and still let individuals shine. In pitting team Iron Man (Robert Downey Jr.) against Team Cap (Chris Evans) over a suspiciously fascist registration law for “enhanced humans,” directors Joe and Anthony Russo could have just put the heroes in a big-ass sandbox and let them duke it out. They do that, and it’s spectacular. But there’s nothing redundant in the action here, from a Bourne-esque opening chase to close-combat thrills reminiscent of The Raid to a surprisingly subdued and heartfelt ﬁnale. The Russos have heard your complaints about universe-building at the expense of story. Civil War is fun. It’s smart. It’s coherent. And, most importantly, it allows its heart to beat strongly amid the chaos. Your move, DC. PG-13. AP KRYZA. Bridgeport, Cedar Hills, City Center, Clackamas, Division, Eastport, Lloyd, Oak Grove, Pioneer Place, Tigard, Vancouver.

The Conjuring 2

Pro and Home Brewer Applications live NOW! bit.ly/WWBeerProAm2016

B- First thing’s first: The Conjuring 2 is often very scary. The story of a downtrodden British family in Enfield tormented by the vengeful spirit of an old cockney man ups the voltage slowly but steadily. Never mind that the true story is reportedly a hoax: Scary’s scary, and for at least its first hour, C2 delivers an old-school haunted-house experience of the Poltergeist variety. Thing is, we’ve seen this before. In between creating the Saw series and launching Vin Diesel off a skyscraper in Furious 7, director James Wan has more or less been revisiting the same funhouse during the course of the Insidious and Conjuring films, which are essentially interchangeable except for Conjuring’s ’70s setting. Still, Wan seems content painting over the same canvas, adding flourishes that are richer and scarier with each pass. If he wants to keep tinkering, we’ll keep coming, because when Conjuring 2 is scary, it’s in a class of its own. R. AP KRYZA. Bridgeport, Cedar Hills, CineMagic, City Center, Clackamas, Division, Eastport, Lloyd, Oak Grove, Pioneer Place, Tigard, Vancouver.

Dark Horse

B At ﬁrst, Dark Horse is deceptively whimsical, what with scenes of horses frolicking in the lush Welsh countryside. Louise Osmond’s documentarydrama centers on barmaid Jan Vokes, who assembles a syndicate from the working men’s club to breed a racehorse. PG. MICHELLE DEVONA. Cinema 21.

Deadpool

Event: October 15 Application Due: June 30 56

Willamette Week JUNE 15, 2016 wweek.com

B Within the ﬁrst 10 minutes. the titular “merc with the mouth” slaughters a baker’s dozen of goons to a soundtrack of “Shoop,” breaks the fourth wall by talking to the audience, punches multiple scrotums, drops more f-bombs than Tony Montana and takes a bullet directly up the butthole while giggling about it. Deadpool doesn’t reinvent the wheel. But it

does teabag it. And sometimes that’s enough. R. AP KRYZA. Academy, Avalon, Valley.

The Divergent Series: Allegiant, Part 1

D Undistinguishable from its counterparts, Part 1 ’s excessively dull proceedings are punctuated by generic action scenes in which the Bureau of Genetic Welfare uses a bunch of weirdo army shit to kidnap little kids and wipe their brains clean. PG-13. MIKE GALLUCCI. Vancouver.

Everybody Wants Some!!

A- Richard Linklater’s newest film doesn’t have a plot. But you’ll hardly realize it and you probably won’t care. The filmmaker who stunned the world with Boyhood’ brings his “fuck it” attitude to a film about a college baseball team in 1980s Texas. R. SOPHIA JUNE. Academy, Kennedy School, Laurelhurst.

Eye in the Sky

C+ The year’s ﬁrst movie on the ethics of drones and the last ﬁlm featuring Alan Rickman, misses its mark. British Col. Katherine Powell (Helen Mirren) tracks infamous terrorists to a house in Nairobi, Kenya. The plot arc is more of a plot sine wave, with the withering Lt. Gen. Frank Benson (Rickman as a wandless Professor Snape in olive drab) throwing up his hands and staring down the people who just refuse to blow things up already. R. ZACH MIDDLETON. Academy, Laurelhurst, Vancouver.

Green Room

B+ Patrick Stewart plays the big bad

leader of a backwoods gang of white supremacists. The punk-rock band that falls into his clutches is loosely led by Anton Yelchin (Scotty in the new Star Trek ﬁlms), and the band is on an unsuccessful tour, taking a detour to play a paying gig at a neo-Nazi compound. There, the band witnesses a murder that these guys won’t let them walk away from. The outcomes are unpredictable, shocking, grisly and really fun. PG-13. EZRA JOHNSONGREENOUGH. Academy, Laurelhurst.

Hail, Caesar!

B+ The Coens’ funniest ﬁlm since The Big Lebowski. PG-13. Laurelhurst.

Hello, My Name is Doris

B Doris is a whip-smart comedy that pokes fun at the ultra-curated youthful lifestyle, while avoiding the recent trope of seniors ﬁnding a place amid the nostalgic fascination of millennials. PG-13. LAUREN TERRY. Academy, Laurelhurst.

The Huntsman: Winter’s War

B It’s been called an unnecessary

sequel. And it may be, but as a steadfast lover of swords and sorcery films, I must steadfastly protect it like the Citadel Guards of Gondor. This sequel functions as both a prequel and sequel to the first film, and it actually does a competent job of completely leaving out Snow White. Snow White’s absence is more than made up for by a very game Jessica Chastain as the huntsman’s feisty partner, who is a lot of fun as a badass warrior, and Chris Hemsworth does Hemsworth well as the over-cocky, macho title character. PG-13. EZRA JOHNSONGREENOUGH. Avalon, Jubitz, Kennedy School.

Keanu

B- From Jordan Peele and KeeganMichael Key, it’s essentially a movie extrapolation of that bit about “White Sounding Black Guys,” which is a skinny framework for carrying a movie. R. JAMES HELMSWORTH. Fox Tower.

The Lobster

B+ The Lobster is one of those dystopian sci-fi movies that needs to spend the first 30 minutes laying down the ground rules of the setting. David (Colin Farrell) is single, which is outlawed, so he goes to a singles retreat. But there is one catch: If you don’t find a mate within 60 days, you

will be turned into an animal. On the plus side, you get to pick your animal. David chooses the lobster. Interesting concept, though this vision of the future mostly involves Farrell, John C. Reilly, Rachel Weisz and the rest of cast speaking in a dull, passionless monotone. R. JOHN LOCANTHI. Bridgeport, Cinema 21, City Center, Clackamas, Hollywood, Lloyd.

Love & Friendship

B+ Kate Beckinsale stars in Whit Stillman’s vicious comedy of manners as Lady Susan Vernon, an accomplished ﬂirt and recent widow who guilts her sister-in-law into hosting her and then brings a maelstrom of drama into the household, mainly in the form of would-be suitors and a runaway daughter. Lady Susan may have no shame, but Beckinsale plays up her character’s propriety, always pronouncing her witty, backhanded comments with a composed pout. Anything besides another Pride and Prejudice remake would feel radical, but Stillman manages to play with the text’s catty eloquence in a modern way, reminding us of Austen’s audacity and sense of humor. R. LAUREN TERRY. Bridgeport, City Center, Clackamas, Fox Tower.

Maggie’s Plan

B As evidenced in Frances Ha and Mistress America, Greta Gerwig’s go-to acting move is convincing us of her character’s unbearable superficiality before letting the humanity surface. Playing a chronically single woman who falls for a wannabe novelist, she pulls off a similar feat in Maggie’s Plan with the help of a terrifically severe performance from Julianne Moore as the novelist’s wife. From writer-director Rebecca Miller, the film’s ambience is the heir to ’70s Woody Allen, right down to the gypsy jazz. R. CHANCE SOLEM-PFEIFER. Bridgeport, Cedar Hills, City Center, Clackamas, Fox Tower, Hollywood.

Me Before You

D Take me back to before I witnessed the train wreck that is Me Before You. Based on Jo Jo Moyes’ bestselling novel, it’s no surprise the film’s death with dignity plot is already suffering backlash ranging from angry twitter hashtags to picketing outside film screenings. Spontaneously ditzy Lou (Emilia Clarke) is hired to care for Will Turner (Sam Claflin), a job that includes trying to convince Turner he shouldn’t end his life because of a disability he suffers from since an accident years ago. PG-13. AMY WOLFE. Bridgeport, Cedar Hills, City Center, Clackamas, Division, Eastport, Fox Tower, Lloyd, Oak Grove, Tigard, Vancouver.

The Meddler

C Just as her thick eyeglasses turn her brown eyes into saucers, Susan Sarandon magniﬁes all angles of her worrywart mother character, the titular Meddler. From writer-director Lorene Scafaria (Nick & Norah’s Inﬁnite Playlist), the script’s bones are a meaningful reversal of mother-daughter grief and recovery, but they’re forced to support Blues Traveler cameos. PG-13. CHANCE SOLEMPFEIFER. Fox Tower.

Money Monster

C- George Clooney stars as a ﬁnancial TV show host, with Julia Roberts as his capable director and Jack O’Connell as the gunman who takes the studio hostage during a live broadcast. The plot devolves into an unbelievably absurd investigation into the nefarious management of a stock that went tits up, treating the audience like the same fools the rich and powerful think we are. R. EZRA JOHNSON-GREENOUGH. Bridgeport, Cedar Hills, Clackamas, Division, Living Room Theaters, Tigard.

Neighbors 2: Sorority Rising

B- Following classic stories of friendship and sexual fumbles like Harold & Kumar and Revenge of the Nerds, Neighbors 2 is a dumb comedy that captures freshman year 2016 from a feminine perspective. Continuing

The Nice Guys

A- The Nice Guys exists in some weird,

hyperviolent mirror image of Los Angeles—one that looks a lot like Atlanta. It’s like Roger Rabbit’s Toontown, but populated with cartoons that bleed. The Nice Guys plays like a 1970s spiritual sequel to writer-director Shane Black’s 2005 Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, a winking landmark of self-aware grit that revitalized Robert Downey Jr.’s career. And it’s kind of perfect. The plot is inconsequential, involving a dead porn star, a bunch of gangsters, a missing student, some more gangsters and the auto industry. But all of that is just an excuse to get its perfectly cast stars lobbing insults. Showing comic chops that belie his fuckhead reputation, Russell Crowe is hilarious as a broad-bodied bruiser. He’s paired with Ryan Gosling’s shrill, alcoholic PI, whose Buster Keaton-esque clumsiness adds “physical comedy” to the résumé of one of our generation’s biggest powerhouses. Investigating murder and missing persons, they fire off staccato quips as they rocket between scenes—including a crackerjack centerpiece at a mermaid-themed porn party. This movie starts at full speed and never stops. R. AP KRYZA. Bridgeport, Cedar Hills, Clackamas, Division, Fox Tower, Lloyd, Moreland, Tigard, Vancouver.

Now You See Me 2

C- A hyperbolic spectacle more than anything else, Now You See Me 2 supersedes its predecessor on every level of absurdity. Jesse Eisenberg leads the Four Horsemen in his usual irritatingly haughty fashion as the gang goes on a mission to steal a computer chip that can control the world. Ex-Hogwarts wizard Daniel Radcliffe, whose creepy bearded grin seems a permanent fixture on his face throughout the film, plays the “narcissistic little man-boy” villain who attempts to outwit the smug magicians. Trying too hard to be cool with a string of tricks each more ridiculous than the next, the flashy caper proves anything but magical. PG-13. MICHELLE DEVONA. Bridgeport, Cedar Hills, City Center, Clackamas, Division, Eastport, Fox Tower, Living Room Theaters, Lloyd, Oak Grove, St. Johns 1 & 2, Tigard, Vancouver.

Popstar

C Even if it doesn’t bring to screen a Wayne Campbell or a Blues Brother, Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping is an SNL movie. From the music parody trio the Lonely Island (Andy Samberg, Jorma Taccone, Akiva Schaffer), the mockumented rise and fall of fame-mongering musician Conner4Real is a sketch’s sensibility spread thinly, or simply repeated, across a film’s length. The comedic rhythm of Popstar may be telegraphed like bass drops in a banger, but its giddy irreverence and excessive talent pose a simple question: “What if this thing you once liked was a movie?” It features a dozen new Lonely Island songs, 30 celebrity cameos and the SNL Digital Short pioneers understanding what they always have: Their imitation and ludicrous exaggeration of radio rap is somehow both appealing satire and joyful tribute. R. CHANCE SOLEM-PFEIFER. Bridgeport, Cedar Hills, City Center, Clackamas, Division, Fox Tower, Lloyd, Oak Grove, Tigard, Vancouver.

Sing Street

A A New Wave rock-’n’-roll fairy tale set in early-’80s Dublin, for fans of quality nostalgia fare like Freaks & Geeks. A 15-year-old boy (Ferdia Walsh-Peelo) seeks to escape the harsh reality of his brutal schoolmasters and splintering home. The story is about as believable as Almost Famous or School of Rock, but that’s not the point. PG-13. NATHAN CARSON. Kiggins, Laurelhurst, Vancouver.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows

AP FILM STUDIES COURTESY OF RUSSO PRODUCTIONS

the story of cool parents Seth Rogen and Rose Byrne, and their poor decision to live so close to campus, the focus shifts toward the newly established antisorority on the block, headed by Chloë Grace Moretz. Nicholas Stoller returns to write and direct this sequel, making smart use of millennial ineptitude and letting the comedic tone get weirder. While a handful of scenes approach John Waters levels of obscurity, you’re going to need to get properly stoned to roll with a version of feminism that empowers girls to bro out. R. LAUREN TERRY. Clackamas, Vancouver.

C Adults nostalgic for old toys and unconcerned with plot will delight in this sloppy, campy trip to Michael Bay’s multimillion-dollar sandbox. Interdimensional monster Krang, an alien brain in a robot’s stomach and is voiced by Brad Garrett, is aided by Tyler Perry as a sniveling mad scientist who is also instrumental in getting nerds to cream their pants when punk-rock mutants Bebop and Rocksteady (a warthog and a rhino) start smashing shit and driving tanks. This is a Ninja Turtles movie. It’s what it needs to be. The characters— especially the heroes—are grating as hell, but look great. R. AP KRYZA. Bridgeport, Cedar Hills, City Center, Clackamas, Division, Eastport, Lloyd, Milwaukie, Oak Grove, Pioneer Place, Tigard, Vancouver.

Warcraft

D+ With Warcraft, writer-director Duncan Jones has managed to squander the creative momentum and critical goodwill he’s amassed, presenting another generic and listless excursion into a wasteland of storytelling misery. A tremendous ensemble of pretty-boy Humans and CGI Orcs play out petty concerns to no resolution for over two hours of meandering story that’s only function is to set up sequels. Die-hard veterans of the games will find fun in seeing icons come to a bizarre sort of life, but the incomprehensible spectacle will crush the uninitiated. The film’s few saving graces include batshit insane spell-casting effects, the likes of which have never before been committed to the screen (and are solely responsible for this film not receiving an F). The other high—an enraged gryphon kicks a few Orc dudes off a cliff. Shame on you, Duncan. PG-13. MIKE GALLUCCI. Bridgeport, Cedar Hills, City Center, Clackamas, Division, Eastport, Milwaukie, Oak Grove, Pioneer Place, Tigard, Vancouver.

Weiner

A Weaving together clips from cable

news shows, YouTube videos, and footage filmed on location at crucial moments, the new documentary Weiner shows the rise and eventual implosion of Anthony Weiner’s 2013 campaign for mayor of New York City. The film’s unprecedented level of access to the subject makes Weiner a necessary and unflinching look at how the sausage of modern politics gets made. R. ZACH MIDDLETON. Cinema 21.

X-Men: Apocalypse

B+ The latest in the X-franchise proves

that the Marvel Cinematic Universe is not the only home for A-grade superhero fare. With Apocalypse, writer Bryan Singer has finally steered the ship back on course, crafting one of the greatest comics pictures to date. The film opens in ancient Egypt, introducing the titular villain as the first mutant. Oscar Isaac portrays the blue-skinned Apocalypse then, aping Marlon Brando in Apocalypse Now. Jennifer Lawrence and Michael Fassbender return as Mystique and Magneto, respectively, and Hugh Jackman makes a brief but satisfying cameo as the pre-Wolverine Mutant X. Factions on the internet will inevitably find reasons to hate this movie. The Egyptians will be too pale for some. The question is: Do you want to have fun and enjoy a comic book turned into a quarter-billion-dollar feature film or would you rather stay home reading Proust? PG-13. NATHAN CARSON. Bridgeport, Cedar Hills, City Center, Clackamas, Division, Lloyd, Pioneer Place.

Zootopia

B Every dynamic, doe-eyed charac-

ter in this animated adventure brings laughs for the kids, and hope for adults that their children won’t adopt Donald Trump ideals. PG. AMY WOLFE. Academy, Avalon, Kennedy School, Valley, Vancouver.

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arE you ThErE god?: The Devils.

The Devils Coming to Portland HOLLYWOOD THEATRE HAS THE ONLY X-RATED 35 MM PRINT. BY A P kRYzA

503-243-2122

Christianity and subversive content are regular bedfellows in film, but Ken Russell’s The Devils might be the most depraved religious film ever, and there’s only one known 35 mm print of the original X-rated version. Right now, it’s at Portland’s Hollywood Theatre. Martin Scorsese’s The Last Temptation of Christ humanized the Messiah as a man who considered opting out of the whole “horrible death” thing. William Friedkin’s The Exorcist shows a little girl violently masturbating with a crucifix. And Abel Ferrara’s Bad Lieutenant has a nun raped in a church, complete with penetration by crucifix. Those films seem tame as an episode of Davey and Goliath next to The Devils, which is perhaps the most twisted film from Russell, whose most famous work is the Who’s Tommy but whose Altered States is also a paragon of cinematic lunacy. Devils starts with priests getting down at a gay theater and ends with a woman of God masturbating with a charred bone. The film follows the trialby-hysteria of a philandering priest (Oliver Reed) in plague-ridden France, as he’s accused of sexual witchcraft by a hunchbacked nun (Vanessa Redgrave). It was banned almost the minute it wrapped. Bootleg DVDs and old-ass VHS tapes were your only chance to see this film in its intended, X-rated version before the Hollywood Theatre got it. But should you go? The Devils is a surreal, brutal, twisted mindfuck of a movie designed to provoke. And provoke it does. In one scene, a woman simulates cunnilingus on Christ’s spear wound; in another, an entire convent—habits aside—essentially rape a crucifix. This isn’t a good film for family night. It’s crass, trippy and intentionally offensive, with Reed’s melodramatic sequences as a conflicted (but so sexy!) priest like melodramatic pap compared to Redgrave’s sexual revolt.

The film is shocking for the sake of being shocking, but it’s also essential, considering its place in cinematic history. Released in 1971—a banner year for X-rated prestige films thanks to this and A Clockwork Orange—Devils came at a time when audiences were still becoming accustomed to the thought of nudity and violence in the wake of the dissolution of the Hayes code. This is a director of distinct vision hurling blasphemy at the screen with reckless disregard for taste. What he does have is a keen eye for style, even when the film is almost unwatchably depraved. Nearly 50 years after its release, Devils is still hidden from audiences at large. No film before it presented such a daftly executed takedown of religious hypocrisy. God willing, no film after it will either. SEE IT: The Devils screens at the Hollywood Theatre. 7:30 pm Tuesday, June 21. alSo showinG:

For Pride Week, the Mission screens the classic Franco-Italian comedy La Cage Aux Folles and its American remake, The Birdcage. Laughter might just offer a note of healing in the wake of horrible tragedy. Mission Theater. Opens Wednesday, June 15. The finest film set in Oregon—with respect to the Diane Lane internet thriller Untraceable—One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest gets the Movies at Dusk treatment. Pix Pâtisserie. Dusk Wednesday, June 15. In tribute to the late, great(est) Muhammad Ali, the Mission offers two essential films depicting the American icon: 1977’s The Greatest, featuring the once Cassius Clay as a dramatized version of himself, and Michael Mann’s criminally underrated Ali, featuring Will Smith in the finest performance of his career. Mission Theater. Opens Saturday, June 18. Before teenage vampires were sparkly whiners, they were The Lost Boys, who were, well, also kind of sparkly whiners, though their sparkles were reflected off the studs in their leather jackets. And they actually fucked shit up. Cartopia. 9 pm Sunday, June 19. See more Also Showing on wweek.com.

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Parenting is exhausting, sacred work. I know this because our daughter is nearly 7 and I’ve been home with her since she was born. In the past few years, I’ve parented alone. Throughout that time, I’ve been living a phenomenon that The Globe and Mail, Canada’s answer to USA Today, finally discovered last week in an article headlined “Is Weed the New Little Helper for Stay-at-Home Dads?” The writer, Leah McLaren, opens with cheap jokes about Joe, her layabout neighbor who resembles Cheech & Chong in dungarees and a goatee. Finally, she notices something: Joe pays attention to his kid and seems to be a decent father. She enters the world of stoner dads, depicting a smoke-cloaked Canadian utopia where families subsist on single incomes from grocery store clerking, dads share joints in city parks, and moms get steadily smashed. McLaren compares weed to mommy blog staples like mimosas and chardonnay, touches briefly on Xanax and Lorazepam (she describes it as “soul-calming”), and curiously neglects to mention prescription opioids, which her newspaper reported “skyrocketing” across Canada in April. The stoner dads in McLaren’s article each applaud cannabis for fostering interaction and wonder in child-rearing. The most incisive quote comes from a father of two in Toronto: “The fact is, weed makes playtime more fun, suppertime more delicious, bathtime more relaxing and storytime more interesting. What’s not to like?” Primary caregiving as a father is isolating. Stay-at-home dads account for only 16 percent of American stay-at-home parents. Most community and support groups exist to serve mothers, either outright or de facto because being the only dad in a band of moms is…disquieting. My daughter now converses with complexity, but she certainly couldn’t a few years ago. Now, she reads whatever she can, filling her mind with stories and facts, but I recall afternoons when

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our family sat cross-legged on carpets, reading board books as she smacked at the pages. Those are fond memories, but at the time they could be mind-numbing. Endless hours stacked one on another. And I didn’t smoke much back then. There is little to no affirmation or feedback in parenting, especially doing it alone. Even finding an effective parenting style is fraught. There are books to read, common ground to find, in-laws and neighbors with startling opinions on breastfeeding and spanking and gluten and head thwaps and the word “no” and co-sleeping. If you’ve got the gall to find a different way, even then the fruits of your labor are gradual, ground gained unseen centimeters at a time. I think this is the main reason mommy blogs litter the landscape—there’s a need to connect, commiserate and assure. Moment by moment, being a parent carries heart-bursting joy, backed up to pain and sadness. It is hard, thankless work, and the appeal of chemical assistance is understandable in the same way a shopkeeper swallows ibuprofen, an accountant pours coffee, or a day trader cuts coke. For me, weed has helped. Cannabis does not solve day-to-day problems. A person’s experience being high depends not simply on the strain or terpenes ingested, but the mindset and surroundings of the partaker. If you’ve been repressing your fears, anxieties and shame, getting stoned may stir them up. If you’re toking lightly, opening your eyes and heart to engage others, keeping track of inspirations that bubble up and appreciating what exists around you, there’s a good chance you’ll benefit from cannabis. There are times being high aided my sense of presence and playfulness, when it allowed me to empathize with my daughter, to see her perspective more clearly. Other times, being high aided my ability to ignore her while paying devout attention to whatever shiny black screen was in front of me. Both have their benefits and downsides in certain situations. And if you’ve been a parent, you know that. Perhaps Father’s Day is a crass excuse for gift-card perpetuation, but here’s a cloud to all you dads out there, stoned or otherwise. But especially to Canadian Joe.

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W W S TA F F

BY N AT E WAG G O N E R

I can always tell how long people have lived in Portland if they talk about Powell’s World of Books without mentioning the store that used to exist across the river. I was there on the last day of business at Simmons’ World of Magazines, and I bought a bushel of magazines and some candy bars. There were a bunch of us regulars in the store that day. None of us wanted to leave, and all of us agreed that it was very difficult not to burst out weeping. Simmons’ had a selection like no other magazine store in the world. It was four stories tall, crammed wall-to-wall with shelves of new and used magazines. It had Time, National Geographic, Harper’s Bazaar, Playboy and Havisham’s Menagerie—you name it, the store had it. And it had a reverence for the magazines like no other magazine store I’ve been to anywhere else in the country. Tourists would visit Portland just so they could say they had bought a magazine at Simmons’. Many of my friends would hang out in the stacks just to meet people. I once dated a girl I met in Simmons’ for seven years. We almost got married. We heard about Simmons’ closing and the new OMSI location taking its place about a month before. I think I probably went to Simmons’ 21 of those last 31 days. Word was, business was getting lean due to the influx of people moving in from out of state. Real Portlanders were being edged out. And, unlike real Portlanders, who buy their magazines in a store, these people all had magazine subscriptions. It was a real heartbreaker the day Simmons’ went out of business, and one of the very first signs that Portland’s Golden Age was drawing to a close. Dr. Mitchell Millar is president of the Olde Portland Preservation Society, which holds among its collection the bones of a giant squid that washed up on the shores of the Willamette in 1867, briefly inspiring a doomsday cult that caused a schism between the region’s German settlers.

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“Shell Games”–from an outside perspective. surface shaped like a “7” 63 River into which Ali threw his gold medal 64 Lost spectacularly, in slang 65 “... hit me like ___ of bricks” 66 Recurring “Seinfeld” character from Pakistan 67 Center square occupant Paul 68 Tony of “Veep” 69 Czech Republic river 70 Freight hauler 71 “Ye ___ Curiosity Shoppe”

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Sergey 20 Alternative rock band formed in 1984 that’s called Honolulu, Austin, and Chicago home 23 Treatment facility 24 “Rikki-Tikki-___” (Kipling short story) 25 Auth. submissions 28 Colonial critters? 31 Punk rocker with the backup band The Pharmacists 35 Scratcher’s target 37 Bovine Old Testament idol 39 Headwear banned

by the NFL in 2001 41 “La ___” (Debussy opus) 42 Actor Killam of both “Mad TV” and “SNL” 43 Races, like the heart 46 Hourly wage 47 ___ fugit 48 Olympic skating medalist Michelle 50 “Feed me kitten food!” 51 Barks like a fox 53 Ornamental carp 55 Schoolroom furniture with a

Down 1 Fill-in at the office 2 Cookie sometimes eaten inside-out 3 iPod Nano precursor 4 Gulf War missiles 5 The Little Rascals, alternately 6 Motherboard component 7 “We’ll tak a ___ kindness yet”: Burns 8 “___ you just the cutest thing ever?” 9 Formal order 10 Prius, e.g. 11 Memento ___ 12 Norse counterpart of Ares 13 Ratted 21 ___-Locka (city near Miami) 22 Track meet component 25 In the ___ of (surrounded by) 26 Add fuel to 27 See-through

scenery piece 29 Grant’s landmark 30 Aerodynamic 32 West Coast NFLer as of 2016 33 Bring bliss to 34 Humans ___ York (photo/interview site) 36 Time to drink cheap 38 Old West challenge 40 Astronaut’s pressurized garb 44 Blacktop makeup 45 Rest for a while 49 Head bob 52 Attendant of Bacchus 54 State where “Wayward Pines” is set 55 Cop or call lead-in 56 “If ___ $1000000” (Barenaked Ladies song) 57 Dig 58 “99 Luftballons” singer 59 Actress Conn of “Grease” 60 “Too many more to mention” abbr. 61 Gavel-banging word 62 Meniscus location

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ARIES (March 21-April 19) The coming months will be a favorable time to boost your skills as a cagey warrior. I don’t mean you should push people around and get into lots of fights. Rather, the goal is for you to harness your aggressiveness constructively and to wield your willpower with maximum grace. In the face of fear, you will not just be brave, but brave and crafty. You’ll refrain from forcing storylines to unfold before they’re ready, and you’ll rely on strategy and good timing instead of brute strength and the decree “Because I said so.” Now study this counsel from the ancient Chinese statesman Zhuge Liang, also known as Crouching Dragon: “The wise win before they fight, while the ignorant fight to win.”

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) During the next 15 months, you will have an unprecedented chance to materialize a fantasy you’ve harbored for years. Essential to your efforts will be a capacity to summon more ambition than you ever have before. I’m not talking about the grubby self-promotion that typically passes for ambition, however. Arrogant self-importance and selfish posturing will not be part of your winning formula. Rather, the kind of ambition I’m referring to is a soaring aspiration that seeks the best and highest not just for yourself but for everyone whose life you touch. I mean the holy hunger that drives you to express impeccable integrity as you seek to master the tasks you came to Earth to accomplish. Get started!

TAURUS (April 20-May 20) Everything you do in the coming days should be imbued with the intention of enhancing the Flow. It’s high time to identify where the energy is stuck, and then get it unstuck. You have a sacred mandate to relieve the congestion . . . to relax the tweaks . . . to unravel the snarls if you can, or simply cut through them if necessary. You don’t need to tell anyone about your secret agenda. Just go about your business with zealous diligence and unflagging purpose. If it takes more effort than you wished, so be it. If your progress seems maddeningly gradual, keep the faith.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) During the next 15 months, composting should be a primary practice, as well as a main metaphor. If you have been lazy about saving leftover scraps from your kitchen and turning them into fertilizer, now is an excellent time to intensify your efforts. The same is true if you have been lax about transforming your pain into useful lessons that invigorate your lust for life. Be ever-alert for opportunities to capitalize on junk, muck, and slop. Find secret joy in creating unexpected treasure out of old failures and wrong turns.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20) My long-term predictions for the next 15 months are a blend of hopeful optimism and a reasonable interpretation of the astrological omens. Here we go: 1. You will have an excellent chance to smooth and soothe the rough spots in your romantic karma. 2. You will outgrow any addiction you might have to frustrating connections. 3. Unrequited love will either be requited, or else you’ll become bored with the futile chase and move on. 4. You’ll be challenged to either refresh and reinvent an existing intimacy, or else get shrewd enough not to repeat past mistakes in a new intimacy. 5. You will have an abundance of good ideas about how to install the theme of smart fun at the heart of your strongest alliances. CANCER (June 21-July 22) Author Courttia Newland quotes the pre-Socratic philosopher Meno: “How will you go about finding the thing the nature of which is totally unknown to you?” In response to this riddle, Newland riffs on what it means to him: “Even more important than the journey itself, is the venture into the unknowable. The ability to find comfort moving forwards without quite knowing where you are going.” I nominate these to be your words to live by in the coming days, Cancerian. Have open-hearted fun as you go in search of mysterious and impossible secrets! I’m confident you will track them down -- especially if you’re willing to be lost. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22) Your homework is to write a story about the life you’re going to live between now and next April. The length of this predictive tale should be at least three pages, although it’s fine if you produce more. Here are some meditations to lubricate the flow of your imagination. 1. What three questions would you love to have answered during the next 42 weeks? 2. Of the numerous adventures that might be fun to explore, which are the two that would be most consistently energizing? 3. What is the one thing you’d most like to change about your attitude or revamp about your life? 4. What new privilege will you have earned by April 2017? VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) According to an old Chinese proverb, if you want to get rich, you must have a nickname. My meditations on your future suggest that this curious formula may have some validity. The next 15 months will be a favorable time to attend to the groundwork that will ultimately increase your wealth. And your luck in doing this work is likely to be oddly good if you add a frisky tweak to your identity -- such as a zesty new nickname, for example. I suggest you stay away from clichés like Ace or Vixen or Sharpie, as well as off-putting ironic monikers like Poker Face and Stonewall. Instead, gravitate toward lively choices like Dazzler, FluxLuster, HoochieCoochie, or FreeBorn.

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SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) Have you ever made a fool of yourself while trying to fulfill your deepest yearnings? I hope so. If you haven’t, your yearnings probably aren’t deep enough. Most of us, on multiple occasions, have pursued our longings for connection with such unruly intensity that we have made foggy decisions and engaged in questionable behavior. That’s the weird news. The good news is that now and then, the impulse to leave our safety zone in a quest to quench our deepest yearnings can actually make us smarter and more effective. I believe this is one of those times for you. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) During the next 13 months, what can you do to enhance your ability to be the boss of yourself? What practices can you engage in on a daily basis that will build your potency and authority and clout? How can you gain access to more of the helpers and resources you need to carry out your life’s master plan? These are excellent questions to ask yourself every day between now and July 2017. It’s time to find or create your ultimate power spot. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) The prison population in the U.S. is over two million, more than twice what it was in 1990. In contrast, Canada keeps about 41,000 people in jail, Italy 52,000, and France 66,000. That’s the bad news. The good news, at least for you and your tribe, is that a relatively small percentage of you will be incarcerated during the next 15 months. According to my analysis of the astrological omens, Aquarians all over the world will specialize in liberation. Not only will you be extra ethical; not only will you be skillful at evading traps; you will also be adept at emancipating yourself from your own delusions and limitations. Congratulations in advance! It’s time to start singing some new freedom songs. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20) The English word “catharsis” is derived from the ancient Greek katharsis, which was a technical medical term that meant “purgation” or “purification,” as in flushing out the bowels. Aristotle converted katharsis into a metaphor that described how a drama performed in the theater could “clean out” the emotions of spectators. These days, catharsis may refer to any event that precipitates a psycho-spiritual renewal by building up and then releasing tension. I foresee at least one of these strenuous blessings in your immediate future.

Homework If you could change your astrological sign, what would you change it to and why? Go to Freewillastrology.com and click “Email Rob.”

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