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Willamette Week JANUARY 27, 2016





Portland apparently thinks the J. Geils Band’s “Centerfold” is the greatest song of all time. 4 The OLCC has nothing better to do than hassle people about marijuana. 11 Nike’s all-time best-selling shoe was compared to a Subaru by one of its product managers. 16 The 2012 Air Jordans are so bland they look like knockoffs of themselves. 18


The director of Wild was a very unreasonable person. 21 They make Heelys for adults. 25 Yes, there is a bot that can tweet out your super-obvious David Bowie joke. 33 When consulted, a professional psychologist says Donkey Kong Jr. needs therapy. 35 Prince is kind of a pussy in Purple Rain. 58


Stuck Jordan by Julie Showers.

Carrie Brownstein has left the Portland.

STAFF Editor & Publisher Mark Zusman EDITORIAL News Editor Aaron Mesh Arts & Culture Editor Martin Cizmar Staff Writers Nigel Jaquiss, Rachel Monahan, Beth Slovic Copy Chief Rob Fernas Copy Editors Matt Buckingham, Madeline Luce Stage & Screen Editor Enid Spitz Projects Editor Matthew Korfhage Music Editor Matthew Singer Web Editor Lizzy Acker Books James Helmsworth

Visual Arts Enid Spitz Editorial Interns Peter D’Auria, Karina Buggy, Sophia June CONTRIBUTORS Mike Acker, Dave Cantor, Nathan Carson, Alex Falcone, Shannon Gormley, Jordan Green, Jay Horton, AP Kryza, John Locanthi, Mark Stock PRODUCTION Production Manager Dylan Serkin Art Director Julie Showers Special Sections Art Director Alyssa Walker Graphic Designers Rick Vodicka, Xel Moore Production Interns Bridget Baker, Tricia Hipps, Maya Setton, Paige Ta

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that lay out where they want to be in five years, “Supermayor: Seven Things the Next Portland 10 years and beyond. Mayor Must Do” in the Jan. 20 WW was a disHaving served on a large hospital board of turbing reminder that, since the next mayor directors and a nonprofit retirement community must possess supernatural powers to accomplish board has taught me that these strategic plans these feats, our government does not work with- must be set up, implemented and reviewed annually to determine if the entity is meetout miracles. The call for a “tax holiday” was ing its goals. The city will continue to exist way even more unsettling because nearly beyond any public official’s term in all items listed require funding. office. Shouldn’t the goals and desires We are tired of add-ons like that are embraced by our residents the arts tax and the street fee, but aren’t they evidence that Portland in a strategic plan be a continually lacks a serious revenue base? City evolving process over many years? —“PBrooks” Hall is in a fiscal bind, but funding pressing needs did not break the These are great suggestions. I bank, a lack of reliable revenue “Our next did. really hope the next mayor reads mayor might For political reasons, Oregon and heeds this article. hold hands —“Skepti-Cal” has been unable to accomplish serious 21st-century tax reform. with Wonder In the meantime, Portland can POT-RELATED LAWSUIT Woman in start with a small (2 percent to 3 AGAINST COUPLE Salem and percent) tax on served food and This is literally the benefit of legalaccomplish the ization [“Bud Rot,” WW, Jan. 20, beverages. Let the tourists pay! impossible.” In addition, City Commissioner 2016]. What was once a lawless and Steve Novick should be comunscrupulous industry now must mended for his gas tax proposal. meet regulation and code. Our nation, state and city face needs that If you have an actual, honest grievance and outpace our creaky political system. Either we can prove it, you can go to court and get it settled tackle structural reforms or we tolerate the instead of taking it out with guns or threats. decline of our infrastructure, opportunity and —“ubbaK” public services. Our next mayor must indeed be a superhero, This sounds more like a business investment but he or she might hold hands with Wonder gone bad instead of a shake-up of the power Woman in Salem and accomplish the impossible. structure. Investing two-thirds of a million into a black/gray market industry has its risks—espeRoberta Palmer cially if you don’t document a contract. Northwest Portland —“trav15t” As with our federal government, the city of Portland seems to have a strategic plan that LETTERS TO THE EDITOR must include the author’s street address and phone number for verification. only extends to the next election cycle. I can Letters must be 250 or fewer words. assure you that most businesses, but especially Submit to: 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. the most successful ones, have strategic plans Email:


I get why Z100-type radio stations play the 25 biggest current hits over and over. But (in Portland, at least) oldies stations also seem to pick just a few songs and repeat them ad nauseam. With 60 years of music to pick from, can’t they offer more variety?

—Ernest & Julio Down by the Schoolyard It’s not that I don’t trust you, Ernest, but—partly to be able to say I was “doing research” while passed out in my car at Denny’s—I switched my radio to KWLZ (96.3), the Eagle (106.7) and Charlie (97.1) to see what’s up. I learned two things: First, losing my customary pickup line, “BBC World Service and chill?” didn’t change my social life much either way; and second, oldies radio is almost as repetitive as hits radio. Is there some kind of wormhole connecting Top 40 to oldies, such that every Taylor Swift is balanced by an equal and opposite Grand Funk Railroad?


Willamette Week JANUARY 27, 2016

Local program directors weren’t talking. That doesn’t surprise Steve Warren, longtime musicradio consultant and author of every program director’s favorite one-handed read, The Programming Operations Manual. Warren says stations spend tens of thousands secretly developing the perfect playlist. “Every station wants to be playing ‘the best songs,’” he says. That means the most familiar and highestrated, as determined by focus-group dial testing. But testing is spendy. Say you can afford to test 300 “hooks” (a typical number, Warren says). Great! Now, the entire universe of popular songs consists of three groups: 100 songs that tested well, 200 that tested not as well, and approximately 1 gajillion that you didn’t test at all. If you’re a program director, your smart move is to keep playing those 100 highly rated songs. If the ratings tank, at least it won’t be your fault for taking a chance on untested material. (If you want to hear oldies deep cuts, check out KISN-FM 95.1.) Of course, none of this explains how—judging by airplay—we apparently think “Centerfold” by the J. Geils Band is the Greatest Song of All Time. Portland: the thinking man’s Spokane. QUESTIONS? Send them to

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Parents at $20,000-a-year Portland private school Northwest Academy say the administration mishandled discipline of a ninth-grade boy, allowing the student to return to school this month after he wrote a “hit list” of fellow students he wanted to kill. Parents say Northwest Academy suspended the student in December after he showed schoolmates his hit list, but he wasn’t expelled. “There’s been this effort to whitewash FOLBERG or erase the actions of one kid,” says Elizabeth Meyer, mother of a ninth-grader. Northwest Academy head Mary Folberg, who founded the school in 1997, resigned Jan. 26. “My retirement has no relationship to anything but my age, my 50 years in high-school and middle-school education, and my goal to help the school move to securing a permanent home in downtown Portland,” she says. Oregon Treasurer Ted Wheeler and Multnomah County Commissioner Jules Bailey both make far more money than the average Portland household, according to tax returns the Portland mayoral candidates released to WW this week. But the income gap between Wheeler and Bailey is also wide. Wheeler’s average income in 2012, 2013 and 2014 topped $1.5 million and came mostly from capital gains and dividends, while Bailey’s average household income (including his physician wife’s salary) hovered around $190,000. Portland’s median household income in 2013 was about $52,000 a year. John Horvick, a Portland pollster with DHM Research, says neither candidate can paint himself as an average Joe but voters may not care. “It’s not a priority issue,” says Horvick. “When I ask voters what they’re looking for in candidates, what they don’t say is ‘someone who isn’t wealthy.’” Parent irritation at Portland Public Schools has recently focused on the millions of dollars the district awards in no-bid contracts. Among them? The district spent more than $11,000 last year on a nine-page spreadsheet, which analyzed voting results by precinct in four recent PPS bond or levy elections. The work—which PPS contracted out to the political consultant who helped manage the district’s successful 2014 levy renewal—typically takes no more than a day, two political consultants tell WW. Instead, Jeremy Wright billed PPS $75 an hour for more than 150 hours of work. Jon Isaacs, public affairs chief at PPS, issued the no-bid contract to Wright four days after Wright submitted his final bill to the 2014 levy campaign. Isaacs, who has worked with Wright on political campaigns, defended the payments, saying the work was “very time-consuming.” Wright declined to answer questions. Mike Rosen, a PPS board member who’s been railing against no-bid contracts, says he’s concerned any time he hears PPS may have overspent. “I don’t care if it’s $12,000 or $5,000,” he says. Read about Carl Wolfson’s weekend with Bernie.


Willamette Week JANUARY 27, 2016





Portland State University President Wim Wiewel faces a common problem for a leader in higher education: Too few students can afford college. Wiewel’s solution is less typical. Last October, Wiewel unveiled a plan to go directly to voters for approval of a payroll tax on metro-area employers that PSU now projects would raise $35 million a year. If voters pass the ballot initiative this coming November, Wiewel says the money would be used as scholarships for Portland-area students, but it could also help ensure the financial stability of the university. “We’re in the business of serving students,” Wiewel tells WW. “This measure would allow us to serve more students better.” This isn’t the first time an Oregon school has appealed directly to voters for funding. The most recent request was last year, when voters passed a $23 million bond, funded by property taxes, for Blue Mountain Community College in Pendleton. But no college in the state has ever before sought its own separate and new tax, PSU says. The measure’s language still isn’t final. But the election campaign has already begun. The PSU Foundation has hired two of the city’s top political consultants, Mark Wiener and Liz Kaufman. The campaign will soon begin gathering about 40,000 signatures to qualify for the November ballot, Kaufman says. The bold proposal is at a crucial stage: Wiewel needs to gather support statewide for the ballot measure, which would probably join four other money measures on the November ballot (“Billion Dollar Ballots,” WW, Jan. 13, 2016). So far, Portland State University’s board has backed the proposal and has the support of at least one prominent real-estate developer. “If PSU thrives, the city of Portland thrives with it,”

says John Russell of Russell Development Company, noting that PSU’s $52 million endowment is about one-tenth the size of those at older, more established universities in the state. “PSU is handicapped in that respect.” But there’s far less enthusiasm among groups that regularly extol the importance of education and even groups whose members might benefit from a new PSU tax. Among those raising questions are groups whose support PSU will need: local employers, who would both pay the tax and benefit from a better-educated workforce; Portland Public Schools, whose students would benefit from scholarship money the initiative would raise; and public employee unions, some of whose members would benefit from the new revenue. None of those groups is on board yet—and the Portland Business Alliance has already come out against Wiewel’s proposal. Among the loudest critics are the leaders of large business. “This year, I expect a lot of money that would have been directed to PSU or other worthy causes will instead be used to battle poorly thought-through tax schemes that have various beneficiaries,” says Columbia Sportswear CEO Tim Boyle, “which makes it difficult to consider ideas that may be reasonable.” Portland State has struggled financially in recent years. Although the Legislature boosted the state allocation to the university from $61 million to $76 million last year, Oregon remains among the most stingy states in terms of public funding for higher education. Enrollment growth has flattened, and the university became independent in 2014, when lawmakers dissolved the Oregon University System. For PSU, that meant a chance to fundraise independently and the challenge of competing with its wealthier, better-connected peers at the University of Oregon and Oregon State University for fundraising dollars.

More money could go a long way toward helping PSU undergrads, nearly 50 percent of whom the university says have incomes low enough to qualify for federal Pell Grants. Student tuition provides the largest chunk of the university’s income. All that leaves PSU scrambling for dollars and—as an embarrassing episode last summer showed—sometimes desperate. As The Oregonian reported last August, a former PSU student named John Fitzpatrick offered the university a $100 million donation. Without establishing whether Fitzpatrick possessed even a small fraction of that amount (he apparently did not), the university prepared a grand public announcement of the gift, only to cancel at the last minute when staffers realized Fitzpatrick’s offer was probably bogus. Wiewel canned his two top fundraisers and turned his attention to a more reliable source of cash—tax-loving local voters. PSU officials argue the $35 million raised from a payroll tax would go to support low-income students, by providing scholarships and hiring counselors and more faculty. TriMet is currently the only local government body that raises money through a payroll tax. The transit agency serves hundreds of thousands of riders every day and benefits non-riders by reducing congestion and vehicle emissions. But the Portland Business Alliance, which represents the city’s largest employers, told Wiewel last month that it objected to his plan to bring a payroll tax increase to the ballot in November, in part because the money would go to a narrower pool of constituents. “A payroll tax is a tax on jobs. It’s a bad vehicle. We have a very broad tax that would benefit just one institution,” say the business group’s CEO, Sandra McDonough. CONT. on page 9 Willamette Week JANUARY 27, 2016



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CONT. from page 7

“We would prefer not to see a measure on the 2016 ballot.” Wiewel also hasn’t won friends in a year when four other measures are competing for voters to approve new taxes, particularly given that his was the latest idea proposed. School Board member Amy Kohnstamm, for example, who is working on a proposed bond measure for the Portland Public Schools, calls the PSU measure “ill-advised.” “Our community is really galvanizing around K-12 education,” she says, “where our infrastructure has been so sorely neglected.” Unions representing PSU workers, including Service Employees International Union Local 503, aren’t ready to commit to the tax plan. They’re fighting for an increase in the corporate tax rate through a separate ballot initiative, which backers say would generate $2.5 billion a year for education, among other state services. (Disclosure: This reporter’s husband works for the American Federation of State, County and Municipal Employees Council 75, which supports the corporate tax measure.) “We want to look into more comprehensive reform,” says SEIU Local 503 executive director Heather Conroy, who added that the measure could mean PSU gets short shrift from the Legislature if the school gains its own funding mechanism. “I hope that the PSU president is thinking that though,” says Conroy, noting she also hopes “it doesn’t let the legislators off the hook for the funding the state should be providing.” Such sentiments may be self-serving for unions. But it’s a worry shared by lawmakers themselves: PSU’s tactic of going it alone could backfire for the universities across the state because PSU would reduce the urgency for beefing up state funding levels. “One of the things it’s going to do is take some pressure off the higher-education budget because Portland would have taken care of their issue,” says state Sen. Tim Knopp (R-Bend), vice chairman of the Senate Higher Education Committee. Kaufman, the political consultant shepherding the ballot measure, says the details of the tax will be persuasive. “When people and organizations see how this money is going to be spent,” she says, “it’s going to be very hard for them to oppose it.”


Do you support a PSU payroll tax? The future of Portland State University plays a leading role in this year’s mayor’s race—and not only because one candidate, Sarah Iannarone, is assistant director of a PSU program. The university is pursuing a $35 milliona-year payroll tax on regional employers, an idea that has

already divided the city’s business and education leaders. We asked the three most prominent candidates for Portland mayor: Do you support a tax on regional employers to fund Portland State University scholarships for needy students? Why or why not? BETH SLOVIC.

Jules Bailey: Maybe. “I’m going to be meeting with President Wiewel in a few days, and I’m going to be going over this with him and other topics about PSU. I certainly support a world-class Portland State University, and I support access for people to attend what is the best pathway out of poverty that we have. I need to meet with him to understand exactly why this mechanism is the best mechanism to fund that. I want to hear more about why a payroll tax is the right way to go.”

Ted Wheeler: Probably not. “I have been a loud and consistent voice in favor of increasing student aid, and I commend President Wiewel for his commitment to the issue. While I have not taken a position on this particular measure, my preference is for a systemwide solution so that all Oregonians have the ability to access higher education.”

Sarah Iannarone: Yes. “I support the idea of creating a regional funding stream to support minority and low-income students at Portland State University. As the parent of a college-bound teenager, who’s about to have to pay for a public education, I understand what that means first-hand to think about the cost of education. I also understand the challenges of what Portland State has to do with the limited resources at its disposal. And I think Portland State is a very, very important institution in the city and region as an economic driver of innovation, knowledge and understanding. I think we should as a region rally behind support for Portland State. That said, I have concerns about the payroll tax as proposed. I want to make sure that the proposal is equitable, that we’re collaborating effectively with our partners in higher ed from around the region, and I want to make sure that we’re making efficient and effective use of public dollars.”

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SHATTERED GRASS: OLCC officials arrested Maria Toth based on this and other photos of the Dec. 10 Cannaball at Refuge PDX. “These photographs also clearly show Toth,” an OLCC officer wrote, “holding onto a glass of malt beverage near an unidentified male manipulating a bag of marijuana.”


Maria Toth owns what seems the perfect venue for a party celebrating Oregon’s legalization of recreational marijuana. Her central eastside nightclub, Refuge PDX, boasts 7,100 square feet, a spacious dance floor, a stage and a bar. It sits just a few blocks from the Morrison Bridge, right across the river from downtown Portland. Most importantly—at least within the byzantine rules that govern recreational pot—the club has no liquor license. The Oregon Liquor Control Commission oversees a tangle of rules for the state’s legal recreational marijuana market. Many are confusing. But this much is clear: You can’t smoke weed in a bar, and you can’t sell beer at a marijuana event. Because Refuge PDX has no liquor license, it’s become a rare and coveted location in Portland’s marijuana scene: a private space to smoke. Yet the OLCC says Toth kept selling alcohol anyway. Last month, officers for the agency arrested Toth for allegedly selling beer at a marijuana networking event—a party called Cannaball. People get arrested in Portland every day for far more serious crimes. The OLCC says this case is nothing more complicated than a businesswoman selling beer without a license. Toth says she did nothing wrong at all. But in fact, this arrest spotlights the difficulty of the OLCC’s quest to keep marijuana and alcohol separated. For many people, marijuana and alcohol are two great tastes that go great together. As states legalize pot, cannabis entrepreneurs have hosted tasting parties where weed strains are paired with wines. Brewers and mixologists are experimenting with adding pot tinctures to cocktails and beer (“Cannabooze,” WW, Sept. 16, 2015). The OLCC is helpless to regulate much of this action, which takes place in homes and at private events. What it can do is enforce its rules against mixing the sale of beer and weed. Toth’s arrest points to where the OLCC is likely heading: The agency that regulates the liquor and cannabis industries will spend its time and resources keeping the two markets apart. “It’s an either-or question,” says OLCC marijuana pro-

gram spokesman Mark Pettinger. “You can’t be a bartender and a budtender.” That makes business tricky for Oregon’s budding marijuana entrepreneurs. “The indoor smoking policy and laws are very difficult to digest,” Toth tells WW via email. She denies selling alcohol at Cannaball. Toth is no stranger to the authorities. In her career as proprietor of Refuge PDX, she has been accused of trying to bribe Portland Fire & Rescue, cited by the fire bureau for allowing too many people into the club, and accused of failure to report an alleged sexual assault (“Service With a Smile,” WW, Nov. 18, 2014). Dating back to 2009, Toth has held a number of temporary sales licenses to serve alcohol at various events. During this time, she has also racked up seven OLCC violations, including employing bartenders and security guards with-

thing hinges on whether or not it’s a public place.” In the past six months, Refuge PDX has hosted a number of prominent weed events, including the 2015 Oregon Dope Cup, the Cannabis Finance Boot Camp, and the Sungrown Cannabis Festival. “The venue does not have an alcohol license, so we were able to work with farms and dispensaries within the framework of consumption, music and education,” Toth tells WW in an email. “Maria has been an advocate for the industry for some time,” says Sara Batterby, co-chairwoman of Portland’s chapter of Women Grow, a national network for female cannabis entrepreneurs. The group hosted a networking event at Refuge PDX in July. Records show the OLCC closely monitored marijuana events and other parties at Refuge PDX. On Aug. 28, OLCC officer John Mereen reported an unlicensed event at Refuge PDX, complete with a fully stocked bar and public marijuana use. Over the next four months, police and officers for the agency reported a number of events at Refuge, where they believed payment had been accepted for alcohol. In one of these incidents, in September, Toth told OLCC officers that bartenders had been paid in “donations.” In October, incident reports to the commission describe preparations for a “Gremlins Show” at Refuge. According to the reports, Toth denied alcohol would be served at the event, but when officers inspected the premises they found two full beer kegs, taps, “at least 16 bottles of various wines,” and a case of Copa Di Vino wine in single servings. OLCC records say the event’s promoter admitted that she planned to have a “collection box” at the event. But the last straw was Cannaball. On Dec. 24, OLCC officer David Luster reported seeing event photos on of “Portland’s First Annual Cannaball,” which had taken place two weeks earlier at Refuge PDX. Luster describes the photos in his incident report: “These photographs also clearly show Toth, holding onto a glass of malt beverage near an unidentified male manipulating a bag of marijuana and spreading it out onto a table near Toth. These photographs also show other patrons holding onto full beer and champagne glasses and the smoking of marijuana in public.” Scott says she believes this was the first OLCC arrest made for activities that occurred at a marijuana event. But

TOTH DENIES THE PRESENCE OF ALCOHOL AT CANNABALL. “THE CANNABIS EVENTS HOSTED AT REFUGE ONLY HAVE CANNABIS ONSITE,” TOTH TELLS WW IN AN EMAIL. “NO ALCOHOL HAS BEEN SOLD OR CONSUMED.” out valid documentation, and failure to use wristbands to prevent overcrowding. In an email, Toth describes the license application process as “excruciating.” “Despite responding to every demand,” she writes, “we continued to be denied permission to sell alcohol.” But that frustration has also opened up new opportunities for Toth. A liquor license or a retail marijuana license would designate her venue as a public place. Refuge PDX has neither, and so it can be rented for private events. And at private events, it’s legal to smoke weed. It’s also legal to serve alcohol, as long as it’s free of charge. Scott, the OLCC spokeswoman, confirms this, saying the OLCC is trying not to run afoul of federal law. “You can have an event where you have BYOB marijuana and you’re giving away alcohol,” Scott tells WW, “but every-

she says the marijuana was simply a detail. “This ticket has nothing to do with the marijuana,” Scott tells WW. “This has everything to do with the fact that [Toth] continually keeps holding events without liquor licenses.” Despite the photographs, Toth denies the presence of alcohol at Cannaball. “The cannabis events hosted at Refuge only have cannabis onsite,” Toth tells WW in an email. “No alcohol has been sold or consumed.” Toth faces a misdemeanor charge of selling alcohol without a liquor license, which carries a maximum penalty of one year in prison or a $6,250 fine. Despite the charges leveled against her, Toth remains optimistic about her club’s future. “I envision Refuge becoming a multifaceted venue,” she writes, “capable of transforming to suit the needs of any client that may want to use the space.” Willamette Week JANUARY 27, 2016


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sneaker Willamette Week JANUARY 27, 2016



f you look at this city through the lens of Portlandia, Kinfolk and travel pieces published by The New York Times, this is a twee land of arugula ice cream, secondhand indie vinyl and intimate dinner parties featuring locally brewed saisons and fresh persimmons. But the most celebrated cultural artifact of this city, and the only product made here that really matters to the global economy, is missing from that picture. Portland is Sneakertown. To the extent that kids in Beijing or Johannesburg give a shit about anything in Oregon, it’s our sneakers and streetwear. Any hope Portland has of becoming a true global city hinges on the people at Adidas, Nike and Under Armor—the three largest athletic footwear brands in the country—all of whose design teams are either headquartered here or on the way (page 16). Which is why this week’s issue is about shoes, and not locally roasted coffee or our active small-press publishing community. There are definitely some very real problems with the footwear industry, which relies on grossly underpaid Third World labor and intensive marketing directed at impoverished urban communities where folks would probably be wise to pass up a pair of $200 sneakers. And yet, there is so much good that comes from it, too, especially in the way sneaker culture unifies people across cultural divides. It also empowers kids like Blazers point guard Damian Lillard, who grew up in a rough area of Oakland dreaming of the day he’d have his own signature shoe, which he designed so it could be priced at a comparatively reasonable $100 (page 23). The Air Jordan sneaker line includes some of the most durable icons of street fashion, and was created in Beaverton. The Air Jordan just celebrated its 30th anniversary, and we ranked every iteration (page 18), an exercise that doubles as a history of streetwear fashion in the past three decades. In the same vein, we talked to a man who’s owned them all, the world’s most prolific sneaker collector, who was once banned from Nike stores, and who recently moved to Portland (page 22). Because we know our readers want some classic weirdness, we also sent one of our writers to spend a week wearing eccentric footwear in public—it turns out no one in Portland bats an eye at Crocs, toe shoes or an adult skating around the mall in Heelys (page 25). We also put together an oral history of the boot made famous by Wild (page 21). The last part of this issue is a big directory of the city’s notable shoe stores (page 27), most of which are locally owned. We urge you to consider shopping at one of them the next time you need a new pair of kicks. But most of all, the next time you absent-mindedly strap on your pair of Air Force 1s, reflect on the fact that they probably mean more to the world than any Decemberists record. MARTIN CIZMAR.

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Willamette Week JANUARY 27, 2016


Much of shoe culture focuses on ultra-limited and/or expensive new releases from top designers, obscure European labels or limited collaborations with rappers and athletes. Hey, I want pairs of Yeezy Boost 750s and OVO 10s as much as the next manchild. Unfortunately, I can’t spend upward of $2,000, in Yeezy’s case, for a single pair of shoes. These releases inspire scores of people to sleep on the streets outside of elite boutiques for days just for the chance to spend a lot of money on shoes. Although we admire their dedication, most well-adjusted people just want to spend the minimum required not to look like an earwax-sniffing shut-in. I scoured some of Portland’s busiest shoe retailers to find out what’s trending in the city’s streets, and provide some outfit suggestions so you can look as effortlessly cool as your favorite barista.


Fortress of Inca Adriana Coco ankle boots, $240

Nike Roshe Flyknit sneakers, $75-$160

Vans Sk8-Hi high tops, $55-$85

What are those? Fortress of Inca produces several models of minimalist, all-leather upper and woodensoled shoes sustainably produced in Peru by workers paid a fair wage. The Adriana Coco boots are striking, modern and affordable, while retaining a classic silhouette that dresses up and down. Pair them with: A hand-knitted asymmetric cardigan, floppy sun hat and white guilt. Buy: Limited stock remains at Miss Meers, 7347 SW Bridgeport Road, Tigard, 726-0701,

What are those? With a clean, stripped-down design, ultra-light construction and an almost bargain-basement price, Nike’s Roshe Flyknit and One shoes have slowly grown to become part of everyone’s wardrobe, from teenagers in drop-crotch joggers to slightly cool parents. If you have a bigger budget and are more fashion conscious, upgrade to Adidas Ultra Boosts ($180). Kanye wore them! Pair them with: A skintight Lululemon Lycra jacket, Lululemon yoga pants, ponytail and your baby, whom you gave a dumb old-timey name like Otis. Buy: Most major sports shoe retailers at Lloyd Center or the Nike store, 638 SW 5th Ave.

What are those? The classic is back. Vans’ iconic high-top skate shoe has seen a resurgence in popularity thanks to an expansion of colorways, patterns and collaborations. Although you could choose a pair in your favorite color, the all-white canvas Sk8-His are timeless and will make you feel nostalgic and hip. Pair them with: Your best pair of blue jeans, a crisp, white T-shirt and a selfie of yourself bored and smoking a cigarette. Buy: Vans store at Lloyd Center or


Red Wing Heritage Iron Ranger Style No. 8114 boot, $320 What are those? You know those expensive-looking black leather boots that every Tom, Dick and Harry with a flannel, black jeans, beard and beanie is wearing? They’re Red Wing Iron Rangers. American-made and resoleable, Red Wing boots are worth the investment because they last forever with minor maintenance. Pair them with: The bored Portland barista uniform and your trust fund. Buy: Animal Traffic, 429 SW 10th Ave. and 4000 N Mississippi Ave.

Nike Jordan Eclipse low tops, $110 What are those? Air Jordans are a little ostentatious for some. This is where Jordan Eclipse, the moreaffordable, low-top option that doesn’t look like an embarrassing dad tennis shoe comes in. Eclipses are modest, but sleek enough to communicate that the wearer knows what he is doing. You can show flair with some of the more daring colorways. Pair them with: Black joggers and a snapback. If you are WW arts and culture editor Martin Cizmar, baggy blue jeans and a soiled hoodie. Buy: Nike store, 638 SW 5th Ave.

Adidas D Lillard 2.0 low-top basketball shoes, $105 What are those? Adidas has just released beloved Blazers point guard Damian Lillard’s second shoe for the company. Jazzed up from the first edition with new homages to Dame’s upbringing and new sneaker technology, the D Lillard 2.0 is among the most affordable basketball shoes on the market. Although the “Home” colorway is sweet, I’d wait for the mostly black “Away” colorway, which drops in early February. Pair them with: Your Damian Lillard jersey and Trillblazin hat. Rip City. Buy: Foot Locker at Lloyd Center or Willamette Week JANUARY 27, 2016


last June, for undisclosed terms. But Nike’s suit claimed that the three covered their tracks by wiping phones and smashing laptops, and that at least one of them planned to cop old Nike designs to make a Michael Jackson-themed “Moonwalker” line of retro shoes.

Who owns who among Portland shoe companies?

Nike owns Converse. Adidas owns Reebok. LaCrosse owns Danner, but is in turn owned by Tokyo’s ABC-Mart. Columbia owns Pacific Trail, Montrail, Sorel and Mountain Hardwear. Anta bought Fila, after that company was bought by its own Korean subsidiary in 2007. Kevin Plank, a formerly very sweaty football player for the University of Maryland, owns Under Armour.





Who’s winning the local sponsorship game?



How big is the Portland shoe industry?

Whatever America looks like from the ankles down, it was probably designed in Portland. All by itself, Nike’s $30 billion in revenues puts it in charge of almost half of the nation’s athletic shoe market. A well-trainered army of 9,000 employees works on Nike’s hundreds-acre empire in unincorporated Washington County, a campus that will expand by 3.2 million square feet next year when the company builds a megalithic glass complex that looks like a giant orange zipper opening up a steel-woven basket. Under Armour and Adidas—Nos. 2 and 3 in the U.S. in athletic footwear, respectively—are also housing much of their shoe-design divisions in Portland. German shoe giant Adidas has 1,200 employees at its North Portland uberplex near Old Gold whiskey bar, and it plans to add even more Lebensraum next year. Since 2014, Adidas’ head of design has been centered in Portland, not Germany. In April 2015, Baltimore’s Under Armour bought the old downtown Portland YMCA and announced plans to fill the whole thing with Under Armour—including most of its footwear division. Columbia Sportswear also makes a lot of shoes—$414 million worth in fiscal 2014. People forget that sometimes. (See “Who owns who?” this page.) Other shoe companies just keep coming. Dutch shoe giant Hi-Tec put its U.S. headquarters in Portland in 2010. Bogs moved here in 2011. Keen came up from California in 2012. Mizuno put its design center here in 2013. Uganda’s largest shoe exporter, Sseko, is based in Portland. Chinese shoe company Anta—the official NBA sponsor in China, with Kevin Garnett on its roster—does its U.S. business in Portland. Chinese shoe giant Li-Ning used to do the same (see page 17). And when Wisconsin’s LaCrosse Footwear bought Danner boots in 1994, it didn’t move Danner to milk country, but instead moved its own headquarters near Portland International Airport.


Willamette Week JANUARY 27, 2016

Why do all the shoe companies keep moving to Portland?

“It’s the talent,” says 27-year Nike veteran Ellen SchmidtDevlin, who runs the newly founded Sports Product Management program at the University of Oregon campus in Portland. “We have some of the most experienced footwear people in the world living in Portland. They’re coming from Nike, from Adidas. We’re also a great gateway to Asia. All of those companies are very dependent [for manufacturing] on countries all across Asia, from Vietnam to China. It’s easier to communicate from Portland than out of Boston.” Adidas had an additional reason to move its design team to Portland, however. Until this year—when Adidas went on a high-fashion surge that included its Yeezy and Y-3 lines—the company was shedding U.S. market share like cat fuzz in the summer. “Adidas realized that their product line was far too Eurocentric,” says shoe industry analyst Matt Powell, who writes the Sneakernomics column for Forbes. “Across the world, Adidas and Nike are the same size in every country except one. They realized they needed to make their product more appropriate to an American consumer.” Nike and Adidas have also spawned a secondary support industry in Portland that makes it attractive to shoe companies—whether corporate moves or new startups. “There’s a whole economy of freelance shoe designers,” says Jennifer Ernst Beaudry, a journalist who’s been covering the shoe industry for a decade. “Whether you’re recruiting people who love the lifestyle, or the freelance designers [in Portland], you have everything physically there.” There’s a shoe-design school, Pensole, started by former Air Jordan designer D’Wayne Edwards; a shoe and apparel business accelerator from local bow-tie magnate Crispin Argento, and a venture capital company, Skyline, devoted to shoes and athletic gear.

So when everybody comes to poach on Nike lands, does this cause fights?

Boy, does it! In December 2014, Nike sued three of its former shoe designers for $10 million, after they jumped ship to work for Adidas, claiming breach of contract and theft of intellectual property. The lawsuit was settled

Nike pretty much owns college athletics throughout Pac-12 country, with exclusive deals at Oregon State and Oregon, Nike soccer invitationals at the University of Portland, and fundraisers at Portland State University. This year, Nike dropped $10 million to own the branding on Portland’s impending bike-share program. It will be called Biketown, in Nike font with a little swoosh, and the bikes will be painted Nike orange. City officials swear it’s not pronounced “bikeytown.” But if Nike owns college sports, Adidas has made damn sure it owns Portland professional sports. The Adidas logo adorns not only the home stadium of the Major League Soccer-champion Portland Timbers, but also the feet of the Trail Blazers’ only true star, Damian Lillard (see page 23), and those of local pro skate legend Silas Baxter-Neal. Under Armour’s presence in town is minimal so far—but the company did agree in 2015 to sponsor two parks in Portland, Lents and Duniway, over loud objections from Nike.

What is Nike’s best-selling shoe?

In 2015, Nike’s best-selling line of NBA-playerendorsed shoes was the Nike LeBron, at $340 million in sales—LeBron James signed a lifetime deal with Nike in December. The LeBron sales almost doubled the amount brought in by runner-up Kevin Durant. Brand Jordan—a separate Nike subsidiary since 1997—trumped them all at $2.6 billion in sales last year. But the best-selling Nike shoe of all time, with a 30-yearhistory, is one of its least flashy: the Air Pegasus running shoe. You probably own a pair and don’t even know it. “It’s a very versatile product,” says Schmidt-Devlin, who formerly worked on Air Pegasus shoes at Nike. “The Pegasus has always been a product that’s ultra-versatile, that has attracted a tremendous following, and Nike’s done a great job of updating it and making sure they put in the products at a good price. I’m a Pegasus wearer. If I were to compare it to an automobile—a designer would kill me for saying this—I was going to say the Subaru.” She pauses. “I probably should say my Prius.”

If Nike is doing so well, why did the company suddenly kill its snowboarding program?

At the Sochi Olympics in February 2014, you could be forgiven for thinking Nike was finally set to own snowboarding—a market it had struggled to dominate for years. Nike was riding high on a “Never Not” snowboarding ad campaign, and a stacked team of pros were flashing big Nike boots on Russian powder—including gold medalist Sage Kotsenburg. But they will never say “Never Not” again. In September 2014, Nike announced it was cutting its snowboarding program and doubling down on skateboarding. The only official statement the company issued was characteristically terse: “Nike SB will focus its innovation, design, and marketing resources on its biggest brand driver and growth opportunity, skateboarding. The current Holi-


day 14 Nike Snowboarding collection will be the final at retail.” The boarders weren’t happy about Nike’s bail. “It was quite surprising to all of us, especially with the heavy commitment to the Olympics,” says Circe Wallace, an agent to clients ranging from snowboarder Travis Rice to skateboarder Paul “P-Rod” Rodriguez. “They felt like the margin wasn’t there, it wasn’t a big enough market. I think we’re still scratching our heads. Historically you’ve seen their efforts, and they did it right, and they made a conscious choice to get out.” Wallace says, however, weather may play a role—along with the global market for skate. “Skateboarding has a low barrier to entry,” she says. “You have all of Brazil, Central America, Asia, China. [Nike] never said anything about global warming, but it was part of the equation, I’m sure—we’ve had quite a few bad winters. I think they saw the writing on the wall. The sad thing is that we needed them.” Although Nike’s snowboarding program remains defunct, the company made the surprise move in January to continue sponsoring snowboarders—including 15-year-old Chloe Kim— for streetwear only.



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503 546 0910 m a n i fe s to s h o e s . c o m

If all the shoe companies want to be here, why did Li-Ning—the “Nike of China”—fold so fast in Portland?

In 2007, ambitious Chinese shoe giant Li-Ning quietly slipped a design center into Portland’s Pearl District. In 2009, following sales of the Portland-designed BD Boom basketball shoe and Shaquille O’Neal signing an endorsement deal in China, Li-Ning opened its first-ever North American store in Portland. “The primary objective of us being here is to upgrade our talent,” a Li-Ning spokesperson said at the time. In 2011, the company announced a huge expansion. “Portland-based Li-Ning Sports USA reportedly set to expand U.S. footprint, spend $10 million,” read an Oregonian headline on Jan.11, 2011. Li-Ning had a shoe, “Fremont,” named after a Portland bridge. But a year later, in February 2012, the retail store was closed, local staff was slashed and Li-Ning quietly moved its operations to Chicago as “Digital Li-Ning,” farming out its branding to a Chicago marketing firm. In 2013, the company lost a $1.25 million lawsuit filed by its former Portland design director, who declared working there “intolerable.” Schmidt-Devlin chalks it up to an Icarus story. “I went to the Beijing Olympics [in 2008],” she says. “The one Chinese athletic brand [Li-Ning] was trying to look international, and all the international brands were trying to look Chinese. They just overextended themselves, and since then they’ve had to pull back. You’ve seen it: Somebody tries to play bigger than they are and they place bets. Sometimes you win, sometimes you don’t.” Powell, however, figures Li-Ning was just half-hearted to begin with. “I don’t think Li-Ning was ever really committed to the U.S. market,” Powell says. “I think they were here so they could say that they were a U.S. brand to the Chinese consumer.” Willamette Week JANUARY 27, 2016






Earlier this month, Nike announced the 30th rendition of the Air Jordan sneaker, an enduring icon of streetwear that played a major role in turning sports shoes from purely functional to a fashion statement. Michael Jordan’s collaborations with legendary sneaker designer Tinker Hatfield and others have produced some of the most beloved sneaker designs on the market. However, the Jordan brand has its fair share of stylistic misfires, gaudy gimmicks and overrated designs that are better loved than they should be. To celebrate Air Jordan 30 and 30 years of Air Jordans, we slightly iconoclastically ranked every pair from worst to best.


Michael Jordan is notorious for suffering from textbook nouveau riche taste, and his love for Italian leather and sports cars often got the best of him and his shoes, especially in the early 2000s. The results are some of the tackiest and shoddily constructed shoes in the Jordan brand.




XV (1999)

The bizarre, vaginaesque sock isn’t the worst thing about the 15s: They were also notoriously uncomfortable and poorly constructed.


XX (2005)

Who would’ve thought that an ankle strap and bike shoe-inspired fashion sneaker wouldn’t age well?



2012 (2012)

A shoe so bland it looks like a knockoff of itself.



XVI (2001)

The 16s’ blocky upper makes them look like a horse’s head. It doesn’t help that the patentleather toe frequently creased and cracked, and that the lace shroud was infamous for falling off during play.


XIX (2004)

The shiny material used on the toe and the mesh lace-replacement make the 19s one of the coolest pairs of Crocs on the market.


2010 (2010)

The transparent plastic window on the side of the 2010s helps potential purchasers “see through” clumsily executed gimmicks that ruin otherwise decent sneakers.


2009 (2009)

The first of four years of Jordans named after the year they were released, the 2009s are inoffensively dull enough to look like you can buy them at Payless.

Although we are out of the danger zone, the next six shoes suffer from chronically uninspired design.





The smoothed leather shroud upper and studded rubber heel make for an aggressive clash that has the 18s looking like cheap leather boots.

The underachieving younger brother of the original Air Jordan, the 2s are flabby, boring sneakers that are among the most chronically overrated in the Jordan line.

XVIII (2003)

Willamette Week JANUARY 27, 2016

II (1986)


XIV (1998)

The otherwise sleek 14s are marred by a Jumpman stylized to look like the Ferrari logo, the most wince-inducingly gaudy feature in the Air Jordan line.


XXIII (2008)

The 23s get points for the hand-stitched exterior, but this otherwise uninspired shoe lacks the pizazz that sets the best Jordans apart.


XXII (2007)

Although still comparatively plain, the 22s are the most exciting of the mid- to late-2000s Jordans, with an angular approach to detail that sets off the leather upper nicely without clashing.


Many of the middle of the pack are good but flawed sneakers, or less well-executed incarnations of the best of the best.





2011 (2011)

XXI (2006)

The burnished leather upper should look cool in theory, but a boring collection of colorways and lack of flourish let the 2011s down.

Not without their garish charm, the suede 21s echo Steve Harvey’s outlandish style, but a suede basketball shoe is nonetheless intrinsically ridiculous.



VII (1992)

The 7s’ detail-heavy angularity and curves make them festively loud and one of the best Jordans suited for expressive colorways.




XX9 (2014)

The sleek and modern 29s certainly look like a modern sneaker, but the gigantic Jumpman on the exterior makes them less pretty than other modern Jordans.


XVII (2002)

Although the lace shroud looks a little chunky today, the 17s’ sleek lines and subtle details make them the best of an otherwise dark era.


IX (1993)

The block-coloring on the 9s’ nubuck accents unfortunately let some colorways down, making many pairs of this otherwise excellent, restrained shoe resemble hiking boots.


XXX (2016)

Modern and airy with a nice collection of details less intrusive than the 29s, the 30s bring out the best of modern sneaker design without overdoing it.

The only thing holding back these six shoes is that other Jordans happened to be more classic.


XX8 (2013)

A rebirth in modernity after the mostly leatherbound years of the late 2000s and early 2010s, the 28s are striking, support several excellent colorways and paved the way for a new generation of sleeker Jordans.


XIII (1997)

Stylized to resemble a panther’s paw, the 13s are probably Tinker Hatfield’s best execution of a highconcept Jordan and one of the brand’s most unique shoes, even though the holographic “eye” may be a touch on the silly side.


XII (1996)

The faux-lizard skin “Rising Sun” leather print on the 12s makes them one of the best, most expressive of the line-patterned Jordans, distinguishing itself with subdued design instead of silly details.


XI (1995)

Hatfield’s favorite Jordan, and a perennial fan favorite, the 11s are one of the best, but the 10s are simply a better, more clean execution of the “dress sneaker” concept.

The cream of the crop, the best six Jordans are all unimpeachable classics to sneakerheads and casual shoe fans alike.






III (1987)

Tinker Hatfield’s legendary 3s are the shoes that kept Michael Jordan with Nike. Despite the 3s’ importance, the 4s are a more memorable and enduringly influential model that better executes the 3s’ stylistic concepts.




VIII (1992)


V (1990)

The 5s’ shark-toothed soles and mesh side panels marked the beginning of a period of many of the best and most tastefully ostentatious Jordans.




The shoe Jordan wore during his first NBA championship, the 6s perfectly balance classic sneaker style, restrained detail and angular design to make them one the greatest of all time.

The shoe that started it all, the 1s are a timeless classic that have been retroed every year since 2007 and set the bar for modern high-top sneakers.

Patent leather be damned. The cream of the crop of mid-90s Jordans, the 10s kicked off a period of clean restraint following the festive early 90s, and remain the high-water mark for dress sneakers.

VI (1991)

I (1985)

X (1994)


IV (1989)

The 4s took the 3s’ combination of functionality and fashion and pushed it to new levels with a flight of details and flourishes that make them one of the most recognizable and influential sneakers of all time.

Gigantic. Colorful. Strappy. The 8s represent the culmination of the id driving the Jordan aesthetic. They are recognizable from a mile away, their kaleidoscopic, aqueous pattern supporting an infinite array of colorways. Ostentatious, functional and cartoonishly joyful, the 8s are the Jordan of Jordans.

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Willamette Week JANUARY 27, 2016

and was retrieving them, but because it’s really rough terrain, not all of the boots got retrieved. I’m not sure how many got away.”

When Gabriele Wilson was assigned the task of designing the cover of Wild, she didn’t know she would create an icon. With a looming deadline, she bought a stock photo of two dirty hiking boots. She Photoshopped one boot out and put the image of a single, muddy boot with red laces on the cover. That stock image has come to define Wild, so much so that director Jean-Marc Vallée, who made a film version of Cheryl Strayed’s hiking memoir, became obsessed with finding the right version for his opening scene. He ended up using custom boots by Portland-based Danner, which when put into production, sold so many pairs it could barely keep up with demand. Here’s the story of the Wild boots—including one that actress Reese Witherspoon tossed from a cliff near Mt. Hood Skibowl which a local man set out to find.

On Dec. 3, 2014, Wild was released. It opens with the scene

where Witherspoon accidentally knocks her boot down a hill. She takes off her other boot and throws it down after it. “Fuck you, bitch!” she screams, as the boot bounces down a cliff. To mark the occasion, Danner released the Mountain Light Cascade boot, the same style featured in the film. They are priced at $360. REI and Urban Outfitters both sell them. By Dec. 29, even Vogue had blogged about the boots. Wojnar: “When the movie came out, demand [for the boots] increased. When it was released on DVD, demand increased. When it was released internationally, demand increased. We’ve struggled in the Portland factory with meeting the demand—we can’t make enough of them.”

In June 1995, Cheryl Strayed began her 1,100-mile hike

Chris Kesting decided to get one boot for free. Kesting, who lives in Camas, is an engineer at Hewlett-Packard who frequently backpacks in Oregon and Washington. When Kesting saw the film, he realized he had been to the exact spot where Witherspoon threw the shoe.

on the Pacific Crest Trail wearing a pair of Raichle boots. In August, one of Strayed’s boots fell off a cliff when she stopped to pull off a bloody toenail. Frustrated, she threw the other one after it. “It was a big lug of a thing, of genuine heft, a brown leather Raichle boot with a red lace and silver metal fasts. I lifted it high and threw it with all my might and watched it fall into the lush trees and out of my life.”

On March 20, 2012, Strayed’s memoir Wild was

released, featuring a torn-up hiking boot on the cover.

Gabriele Wilson: “The one boot to me was a symbol of her and her single hike, doing it on her own and her perseverance. When I look back, I wish that I would have shot it myself, but I ended up going online and finding a photo in a stock house that looked pretty close to what I pictured her boots looking like. There were two boots in the image, and I thought, ‘That’s too obvious.’”

On June 1, 2012, Oprah Winfrey announced she would

resurrect her discontinued book club to showcase Wild. The effect was immediate. By July, Wild was No. 1 on The New York Times best-seller list. The stock-image boot chosen for the cover became an icon. A movie deal was signed in July 2013. In October 2013, the film version of Wild went into production. Portland native Greg McMickle has worked in the film industry since 1980. He worked on Homeward Bound, Leverage and received a platinum record for contributing to “We Are the World.” Working on props for Wild was his dream job. An avid hiker, McMickle scoured outdoor stores for vintage hiking gear and held Witherspoon’s backpack for her during the boot-throwing scene. Raichle still makes hiking boots, but Wild director Jean-Marc Vallée didn’t want to be accurate; he wanted the iconic boot from the book cover. McMickle: “The director is sort of obsessing on the way [the cover] boot looked, and we’re madly going around trying to find boots that look like that boot. The director

On March 7, 2015, Kesting went to see if he could find the boot Witherspoon threw. was a very unreasonable person. Finally, somebody in our wardrobe department found a Danner boot, which was in production, but sort of the wrong color.” McMickle actually grew up on the same block in Portland as the Danner children, and even played in the same costumeclad social-commentary band in high school. The studio asked Danner to make the boots, using the Mountain Light design as a base template, but changing the color of the leather and laces to create a vintage look. Danner was founded in 1932, during a boom in the Oregon logging industry. The man in charge of the boots in Wild was Chris Wojnar, Danner’s director of product line management. With his help, they made 25 pairs in Witherspoon’s size 6½ for use in the movie. Wojnar: “It was a pattern we originally designed and developed in the 1970s. It’s remained in our line for decades. We built the boot that was used in the movie the same way as in production. The functionality was the same; it was more trying to capture the same look as the leather.”

In fall 2013, It was time to film the scene where Witherspoon throws the Danner boot off a hill in the Willamette National Forest. This would eventually become the movie’s opening scene.

McMickle: “There might have been a couple shots where somebody else threw the boot, where [Witherspoon] was not included in the shot, where the boot was sailing. She probably threw it 15 or 20 times herself.… One of our producers was a good rock climber, and he’d gone down below

Kesting: “I just thought it would be fun to see if the thing was actually up there. I knew where the top was, but what I didn’t know was where the boot would be. It took me about an hour to go down. I just went right below that spot underneath the cliff, and I looked around for 15 minutes or so. I looked down, pretty much at my feet, [until] I saw the red laces of the boot. COURTESY CHRIS KESTING


Kesting had the boot on his bookshelf for a few months before emailing The Oregonian to announce he’d found it, sending a photo of it. On May 8, 2015, The Oregonian published the first article about Kesting’s discovery. The next day, Strayed confirmed the boot was from the film.

Kesting: “I pretty much just had it on my bookshelf for a couple months. I was kind of surprised nobody wanted to buy the thing, actually. The boot had been sitting there for a year and a half or something like that, and it looks beautiful. Pretty good quality for sitting out in the snow and rain for a year and a half. I told Danner they could use it for advertising if they want. I’m gonna build a little shelf for it and keep it in my house, unless somebody has a better idea for it.” SAY CHEESE: Chris Kesting with Reese Witherspoon’s boot in the Willamette National Forest.

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AIR JORDAN: Jordan Michael Geller holds his favorite shoes.

Selling His Sole



In 2009, Jordan Michael Geller got a threatening letter from Nike. The company said he was no longer allowed to shop at any of its stores. “Please know that Nike’s retail salespersons are not authorized to discuss this decision with you, so please do not seek to engage them in any way regarding the future sale or return of Nike products,” wrote Nike’s then-director of stores, Jon Auerbach. Geller wasn’t a shoplifter or a corporate spy. The 38-year-old Nob Hill resident was perhaps the greatest shoe collector the world had seen since Imelda Marcos. He has an entry in Guinness World Records 2013 to prove it, touting his collection of 2,504 pairs of Nikes. In August 2011, he opened the world’s first sneaker museum, the ShoeZeum, on the Las Vegas Strip. But to amass his collection, he spent eight years buying Nikes from outlet stores and reselling them on eBay. Nike didn’t like that. “I had this idea that I could sell off all that inventory and use the money to curate the world’s greatest sneaker collection,” he says. “I wanted to show Nike who they’d banned.” Sneakers weren’t the first thing he collected. Baseball cards were. Then it was Garbage Pail Kids. Later, Snapple caps and pencils. But his 22

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true romance was always Nike sneakers. From the time he was in fifth grade, he wanted Air Jordans, but they were too expensive for his family to buy. As soon as he was financially independent, he bought his first pair. Geller says he loves Nikes more than anything else in the world. He notes that his first and middle names are Michael Jordan reversed, and that the randomly assigned number he received when he passed the California State Bar exam after law school, 234523, combined the two jersey numbers (23 and 45) Jordan made famous. But Geller says he is done collecting now. Although he’s been able to support himself with his shoe collection, it also represents a dark underbelly of obsession. “It is crazy. Definitely crazy. Because I’m wired to be like that, so all or nothing—I can’t even dabble in buying shoes,” he says. We are sitting in a seemingly unused conference room on the bottom floor of his luxury apartment building along Couch Park, where he now lives with his wife, Natalie. But at one point he had to rent an entire apartment in Las Vegas solely to store his shoes. Geller knew that owning a pair of every shoe Nike ever made was near impossible, but figured he could own enough of them to accurately curate their history. For a year and a half, Geller says, he

dame vs. yeezy L O VAT T O

was obsessed—a word he often uses to describe himself. “I did it in complete secrecy. I didn’t tell one person what I was doing because I thought that people would think it’s insane,” he says. “I became completely obsessed with it, to where everything I saw in the whole wide world reminded me of an exhibit or a shoe.” After he opened the ShoeZeum, it brought on a new kind of obsession. Jordan and Natalie Geller lived across the Strip, and even though they hired an overnight security service, Geller would wake up at 3 in the morning and cross Las Vegas Boulevard to check on his shoes. “People are coming in and know exactly where the good stuff is,” he says. “If they wanted to come in and take it down, they could. We could get hurt along the way. It was superduper dangerous.” The Gellers decided to close the ShoeZeum in November 2012, and moved to Portland last year. But despite moving to Nike mecca, Geller decided it was time to stop collecting. He has instead been selling them—which has become a full-time occupation for the couple. One of Geller’s collections is a complete set of shoes designed by patients at Doernbecher Children’s Hospital at OHSU. He has priced the collection at $50,000. He went from three large storage lockers to two—and then one. He still has 200 to 300 pairs left, which are kept at Natalie’s parents’ house, in a storage unit and in a safe deposit box. “It’s been an emotional decision for Jordan to stop,” says Natalie. She says the attachment comes partly because his father used to run marathons in Nikes. There are a few sneakers he’ll keep: a pair of game-worn Michael Jordan 1985 Air Jordan 1s, a pair of Air Jordan 11s customized for him by legendary Nike designer Tinker Hatfield, and an original Nike waffle shoe that was dug up from Nike co-founder Bill Bowerman’s yard, to name a few. His days of scouring eBay and camping out at shoe releases, however, are over—although he says Nike has lifted his ban from local outlet stores. “I just think it’s time to move on,” he says. “I think it’s been healthy for sure. I don’t need all of this stuff, and I’ve already done it, and I have the memories of it. They’re not even out and being enjoyed. They’re just boxes of things I’ve become afraid of.” THOMAS TEAL

WHO IS THE MICHAEL JORDAN OF THE ADIDAS LINE? WE COMPARE DAMIAN LILLARD AND KANYE WEST. They’re priced at $105 and have BOUNCE™ cushioning, TORSION® midfoot integrity and Continental™ rubber. There’s no Adidas Boost foam because Lillard thought it would make the shoes too expensive.


The newest, freshest release retails for $350, but you’ll never get them at retail price unless you camp out for a few days. They have Boost, plus a material called tonal Primeknit, designed to “fit like a second skin.” Rumor has it the next line will fit like dolphin skin.

The D Lillard 2.0 in white. Simple, classy, guaranteed to make you look good while barely missing the playoffs.


The tan Yeezy Boost 350 low tops, which look like something every baller on Tatooine would pawn their service droid to buy.

“The D Lillard 1 provides a solid shoe ideal for a guard accustomed to quick cuts,” says Sports Illustrated. “The D Lillard 1 is a decent budget model. Don’t get that confused with bang for your buck,” says “Surprisingly these shoes have a lot of grip, they feel awesome. I kinda feel bad playing with them because of how cool they look,” says Amazon user Jesse Garcia.


“Sold my car that I need to get to work but damn it was worth it. When you put these on it’s honestly amazing. You can really feel the sold Honda Accord when I walk,” says Amazon user rocco ficociello.

Damian Lillard.

“Bigger Than Us,” Dame DOLLA’s first all-original rap song. It’s actually about racial strife in America, but what heals socioeconomic divides better than affordable sneakers?

Drain 30-foot jumpers with a defender in your face and the shot clock winding down.

SLAM DUNK: Jordan Michael Geller’s collection of shoes designed by patients at Doernbecher Children’s Hospital.

A Dallas Mavericks jersey five years from now.


President Obama, Taylor Swift, Lakers guard Nick Young, all the Kardashians, Justin Bieber, Gigi Hadid, Victoria Beckham, Calvin Harris, Pharrell Williams, Formula One driver Lewis Hamilton, Joe Jonas, Lorde, 2 Chainz.


“Facts,” a Nike-dissing, Drake and Future-referencing freestyle about how ’Ye jumped our Jumpman.



Drop classic album after classic album while continuing to make white America very mad.

A leather utilikilt with a diamondencrusted gimp mask and prosthetic antlers. Willamette Week JANUARY 27, 2016


k Store

ette Wee

m The Willa

TreaT yourself wiTh a DubDubDeal! Did you break the bank this holiday season? Well we’ve got plenty of affordable offers to start the year off right. Find certificate discounts to your favorite Portland restaurants like North Light at

Tuesday, February 23 • Revolution hall • $15 • 24

Willamette Week JANUARY 27, 2016


Five Feet $





think is sex. Like, ‘Look, here’s my butt! Ready for you!’” At the mall: These shoes make every single activity a horrible ordeal. Taking a down escalator in these was scarier than dropping in on a wave. I fell down twice in the Clarks store. At the office: Never, ever wear these to work. Even if you’re a stripper. Pain factor: Ten out of 10; the most painful, physically. Walking just to the grocery store in these was worse than sprinting up a mountain in those shitty toe shoes. Likelihood I will ever wear them again: I got these shoes for a bat mitzvah that was “Las Vegas Dancer”themed. If I get invited to another, I’ll probably wear these shoes.


Shoes: What else so clearly illustrates our fragility as a species? Like, no other animals ever wear shoes— horseshoes aren’t shoes so don’t start on that—and yet, walk outside without wearing shoes in a snowstorm and you’ll probably die. But shoes aren’t just for survival of the human race. That was the original idea, but the patriarchy pivoted. The second iteration of the shoe went from “Hey, these really freed us up to walk around on various types of non-carpet terrain” to “Could they also be used to make sure women aren’t free to walk away from their responsibilities of being sexy, having babies and cooking?” From Chinese foot-binding to high heels, men discovered they could un-literally-chain women from the stove and use shoes as a subtler way to subjugate them. Now all they have to do is be part of the system that internalizes misogyny and makes women think the only way to be sexually attractive, and therefore have worth, is to wear shoes that destroy their spine and ankles. You can’t run away when you can’t walk. Nowadays, women don’t necessarily have to wear high heels to be taken seriously, though it helps, believe me, especially if paired with lipstick. But I am generally too busy living my life to spend my mornings getting myself hot for a bunch of dudes I’m never going to sleep with anyway. And I have weak ankles. At this point, my main shoes are Blundstone boots in the winter and Birkenstocks when it isn’t raining. But what if I am limiting myself? Shoes can make you more sexually attractive, sure, but they can also make you more fun or increase your speed. I set out to wear a different pair of outlandish shoes every day for a week. Here’s what happened.


Reaction: Heelys are those shoes with wheels in the heels. Popular with elementary-school juvenile delinquents. For some reason, my purple LSU Tigers adult-size Heelys were available at a deep discount. Because it’s hard to tell these are shoes with skates unless the wearer is actually rolling, these just look like dope kicks. One old woman said to me, “Nice shoes.” At the mall: Are Heelys the best mall shoe ever invented? The smooth surface of the floor proved ideal for roller skating undetected through Pioneer Place. Turns out security guards aren’t looking for women in their 30s flouting the mall code of conduct. At the office: Not great at my standing desk. They are basically like wedges with a potentially lethal heel when you’re standing still. Pain: Minimal, though I had some weird muscle pain after a day of basically walking on my tiptoes. Likelihood I will ever wear them again: A good chance. If I want to impress children or get around more efficiently at the mall or make a trick video, these will be the




shoes I wear. A 5-year-old asked me, very seriously, “Do they make these shoes for kids?!”


Reaction: Most of what I would call “stranger reactions” to these famous “barefoot running shoes” with individual toe sleeves were my own internalized feelings of shame. The shoes made my insides feel like I was wearing underwear on my head. Who invented these? What kind of cruel monster? At the mall: The shame I felt while wearing these at Pioneer Place was the kind of thing that takes deep hypnosis to get over. At the office: Things started OK, but by 3:40 pm the FiveFingers were squeezing my feet in a way that seemed unseemly for “barefoot” shoes. They’re more comfortable than Heelys, less comfortable than Crocs. Pain factor: Nine out of 10. Emotionally, these were the most painful shoes to wear. I felt like I was walking around as an adult in a wet diaper. Except the diaper was on my feet, and everyone could see it. Likelihood I will ever wear them again: Zero, except maybe in cases of extreme river walking, and only then if every other pair of shoes I owned was lost in a fire and there was lots of glass.


Reaction: You know what men like? A lady in unbearably high heels. Now, to be fair, I wore makeup to work, and a dress, on the day of the black patent leather stripper shoes, but, whooo boy, that’s the day I got the looks. A coworker put it this way: “Men see those shoes, and all they

Reaction: The truth is this: I look like a person who wears Crocs in public. No one batted a goddamn eye. I once made fun of my dad for wearing Crocs. Now I know I was a foolish, ungrateful child—last year. I wore Crocs on the bus, in the store, before yoga, after yoga, on a plane. Crocs are a gift from heaven. By the end of the day, I didn’t even think they were ugly anymore. At the mall: If you can’t take Heelys to the mall, and/or you have a long day of shopping ahead of you, Crocs are the perfect mall shoe. At the office: Crocs may be ugly—OK, they are ugly—and, yes, they’re called “Crocs,” but surgeons wear them to work, as do cooks and people in any other non-customerfacing standing-up-a-lot job. They are very comfortable. Likelihood I will ever wear them again: I’m wearing them right now.


Reaction: Hot Casual Sneakers have soles that light up with LEDs. They’re rechargeable and have a push button to change the color of the lights or make them pulsate in different patterns. They were purchased on eBay, and I don’t think I’ve ever found so much joy for less than $15, plus shipping and handling. Here is a factual but incomplete list of the people who stopped me to say they loved the shoes: bus driver, construction worker, every single Nordstrom employee, female Mormon missionary, child, homeless person. If you’re feeling down, like no one in this world understands or loves you, the answer is light-up shoes. Has anyone thought of bringing these shoes to Jerusalem? At the mall: Lighting at the mall is not conducive to people noticing your sick LED Light Up Hot Casuals. These shoes are too good to be wasted at a mall. At the office: These look good but aren’t exactly made with comfort in mind. There’s a bit of a lump under the heel—some kind of wiring maybe?—and they get warm when they are on, giving the wearer the uncomfortable feeling of being in cool shoes that were made in China and maybe not fully tested for safety to make sure they won’t catch on fire. Pain factor: Five out of 10. They were mildly uncomfortable after a couple hours of that distressing warming. Likelihood I will ever wear them again: There is a 100 percent chance—if they don’t blow up. Willamette Week JANUARY 27, 2016


Bridgeport Village

Cascade Station

At Shoe Mill the customer is our priority.

This core value has been the base of our family owned company for over 38 years, and shaped us into a chain of shoe stores that provide the best comfort footwear from around the world. As a family business we pay attention to details when sizing and fitting, and have created a catalog of knowledge of how footwear fits and functions that helps shape our merchandise selection each year.

At Shoe Mill “We Put the World at Your Feet” Bridgeport Village 503-430-1325

Lloyd Center 503-284-3420

Salem Center 503-362-1047

Gresham Station 503-491-4455

Cascade Station 503-719-5560

Washington Square 503-684-1244

Clackamas Promenade 503-652-8944

Lancaster Mall 503-391-6288 26

Willamette Week JANUARY 27, 2016

The Streets at Tanasbourne 503-531-6009



ALL-PURPOSE Imelda’s and Louie’s

3426 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 233-7476, WW readers’ poll pick for Best Shoe Store, Imelda’s and Louie’s boutique shop stocks stacks of high-quality men’s and women’s boots and shoes along with hip Portlandcentric accessories. The retail here looks as much like art as it does footwear.

Johnny Sole

815 SW Alder St., 225-1241, Because you aren’t just another guy in the IT department or merely an administrative assistant, you may be trying to track down footwear with a bit of swagger that is still office-appropriate. Johnny Sole has an assortment of brands such as Wolverine, Bed Stü and Frye.


938 NW Everett St., 331-0366, Located in the Otis Elevator Company Building, this shop boasts finely made footwear. Most of the inventory comes from smaller designers out of Romance languagespeaking countries and is molto di moda.

Manifesto (and PedX)

3806 N Mississippi Ave., 546-0910, This bright and inviting storefront on Mississippi is a fine resource for footwear brands like Swedish Hasbeens, Camper and Jeffrey Campbell. If you can’t find what you are looking for here, the older sister store, PedX (2005 NE Alberta St.), is worth visiting—especially if you’re in the market for vegan shoes.


7419 N Burlington Ave., 720-6118, A shoe store grows in St. Johns. This little family-run shop, opened in September, is more in the tradition of old St. Johns than new New Seasons St. Johns—a home for quirky comfortwear and international designs like Indonesianstyle Bali Elf and fair-trade Oliberté from Africa.

Shoe Mill

Lloyd Center and six other Portland-area shopping malls, It is a weirdly heartening thing that in Portland, our most dominant shopping-mall shoe outlet is not Payless or Foot Locker or Shiekh but rather Shoe Mill—a humble 37-yearold chain still owned and run by two generations of the Habre family.



417 SW 13th Ave., 224-3591, This showroom for the Warby Parker of shoes is worth a field trip to wander its rows of very unordinary inventory. Find rainbow-sole creepers and giant platforms among other eclectic pairs fit for a dance floor or festival. All shoes must be purchased online, but you can order a try-at-home box with up to five styles to help make up your mind.


The Annex/Animal Traffic

4018 N Mississippi Ave., 493-7363, Long a new-and-vintage sartorial home to Portland’s urban lumberjacks and would-be midnight cowboys, Animal Traffic has expanded into shoes at its Mississippi Annex, offering ankle-height Florsheim and Red Wing boots alongside skater leisurewear like Pointer and Clarks.

Winn Perry & Co.

209 SW 9th Ave., Menswear shop Winn Perry—like John Helmer Haberdasher just blocks away—stocks a single brand of dress shoe: New England’s Alden, the $500 hand-stitched shoe heavily prized by fops and dandies alike. What else could one possibly need? Why, a Kasuri-woven Doek canvas boat shoe, of course! For the yachting!

Women’s Amenity

3430 NE 41st Ave., 282-4555, It’s practical but hardly basic—a boutique stocking high-end, artsy alternatives for folks who can afford the price of handdyed leather but want the aesthetic of a crafty street vendor. The fine leather loafers, flat boots and practical heels here (mom purses, too) look like a trendier version of Danskos that cater to Waldorf parents and aging theatergoers. CONT. on page 28

Willamette Week JANUARY 27, 2016


M I C H A E L A F U J I TA - C O N R A D S


600 NW 23rd Ave., 295-7959; 2105 SE Division St., 841-6597. Tweens and 20-somethings window-shopping TrendyThird will inevitably find all their one-season ankle booties, leggings and knockoff Hermes satchels here. You’ll find the same design in various shades of synthetic leather, and any leftovers are at the Division “warehouse” location, which is neither cheaper, larger nor a warehouse.


728 NW 23rd Ave., 224-1228, An annex of Sloan boutique, Platform has hip women’s boots, heels and sandals in mainly blacks and neutrals from brands like Franco Sarto, Chinese Laundry and Toms. Prices range from about $25 to $100, and Platform also has an impressively large sale section, jewelry, accessories and lingerie.


7871 SW Capitol Highway, 445-4585, This spacious, two-level store smells like lavender and carries a large selection of boots for cool moms and urban women in their 30s, as well as accessories. Thanks to the connections of the shop’s owner, for the past 10 years Switch has featured Israeli designers no other shoe store offers. Regular prices start at around $90, though there’s also a large sale section.


1230 SE Grand Ave., 208-3631, Portland’s explicit home to tomboys sports plenty of kicks alongside beanies, bow ties and blazers: burgundy Mackay boots, black metallic Olympias and Red Wing boots specifically made to pound pavement.


717 SW Alder St., 226-0363, Recently moved from its 21-year home on Northwest 23rd, Zelda’s new downtown space is a brightly lit, spacious store carrying upscale shoes from Spain, France and Italy. While prices range from $85 for sandals to $600 for boots, Zelda’s has a large sale section and generally keeps shoes for over a year.

Outdoor and Boots Danner

1022 W Burnside St., 262-0331, Danner has been in the bootmaking business since 1932, and the emphasis on quality is still present today. Here at the flagship store, located in the north entrance to Union Way, you can find American-made boots, accessories and apparel to outfit your next adventure.

Dr. Martens

2 NW 10th Ave., 552-9000, A haven for work boots-turned-grunge and crust punk, this large outlet for the famed English brand carries shelves and shelves of basic black leather, chunky sandals and special-edition boots with pop-art and floral prints.

Keen Garage

505 NW 13th Ave., 971-200-4040, Portland hiking-shoe titan Keen has a store right below its headquarters that looks like the loft rumpus room of a ’90s-era tech startup, with cash registers wrapped in soles of Keen’s very own shoes, little slides, a drop roof made of street signs, furniture made of things that once were not furniture, and doors made of wood repurposed from old barns. Keen is best known for its hiking shoes ($90-$180), but casual camp28

Willamette Week JANUARY 27, 2016


ers may go for the closed-toe sandals, which let air in without letting in gunk and pine needles through the front of your damn shoe. And if you are—dear Lord—one of those people, there’s a sandal in the pattern of the PDX carpet.

Half Pint

3920 N Mississippi Ave., 281-0815, If it is made with leather or worn with leather, it will be here, at this shoe-obsessed vintage and consignment shop that looks like the backdrop to a whiskey ad or ’70s Playboy shoot. It is home to cubby upon cubby filled with boots—whether shitkicker, fleece-lined, or fuck-me— alongside a smaller collection of showy (think red and/or sequined) heels and flats.

Next Adventure

426 SE Grand Ave., 233-0706, Next Adventure is a three-story purveyor of all you need for the outdoors, with a basement of used gear and a whole hell of a lot of sandals, hiking boots and running shoes.

Portland Outdoor Store

304 SW 3rd Ave., 222-1051, If your idea of “the outdoors” looks like a midcentury Marlboro ad, the nearly century-old Portland Outdoor Store is your huckleberry—expect Wranglers, Pendleton, stacked pagodas of cowboy hats and (oh, man) way more boots knocking together than at a Motel 6 after a rodeo.

U.S. Outdoor Store

219 SW Broadway, 223-5937, U.S. Outdoor Store is a palace of gear and equipment, but what is truly brilliant is the staff: exceptional in product knowledge, application know-how and friendliness. It’s also home to a massive catalog of shoes—hiking boots, sandals, watertight rain and fishing gear, running shoes, snow boots and skatewear.

Sneakerheads Compound Gallery

107 NW 5th Ave., 796-2733, Blind-packed Japanese toys join forces with a pop-art gallery and the latest streetwear. As for shoes, this shop has a boutique Nike account, so those hard-to-find Air Force 1s are probably here.

Index PDX

114 NW 3rd Ave., 208-3599, Old Town’s source for new and pre-owned rare and hardto-find sneakers, Index prepares you for a game of 3 on 3 or a dance-off with a pair of Air Jordans, Air Yeezys or Nike Dunks. It’s also ground zero for Portland’s obsessive sneakerheads, bar none.


542 E Burnside St., 206-8626, This modern menswear shop is all monochromatic high concept and metropolitan street style. The shoe selection is minimal, sure—but this is where you get those highfashion Yeezys and Y-3s, if you’re lucky.

The Sneaker Cart

4709 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., 975-9234, Yeah, that’s right: a shoe store in an RV, in an MLK parking lot, repping Jordans from 2 to 20, plus Barkleys and some Adidas Derrick Rose. Oh, and the whole store is painted to look like a Black Cement Air Jordan 3, and the license plate says SNEAKR. Doesn’t it, sometimes, just feel good to be alive in Portland?

Athletic Fleet Feet Sports PDX

2258 NW Raleigh St., 525-2122, This place is so inspiring it’s literally written on a wall. From Fleet Feet’s monthly First Thursday events during the less-rainy season to the growlers perched on shelves above running gear, this is the place in town for group race running.

Foot Traffic

333 SW Taylor Ave., 525-1243, and three other Portland locations, Now with four locations and running groups every school night except Sunday, Foot Traffic leads all competitors in race-packet pickup locations. Kind enough to talk customers down from buying too-pricey gear, this is the place to send newbies.

Pie Footwear

2916 NE Alberta St., 288-1999, If you’re looking for minimalist or barefoot-style shoes in Portland, this is where you go. Vegan and leather options are nicely labeled, and none of the employees will judge you for buying toe shoes—they’re fans, too.

Portland Running Company

800 SE Grand Ave., 232-8077, All the big brands are here, and every employee walks and talks like a runner. With run clubs every school night except Wednesday and a free first round after the Thursday jaunt, the only knock against this place is a small parking lot.

Clogs, ’Vogs and Birks Clogs-N-More

617 NW 23rd Ave., 224-5896; 3435 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 2327007; and two other locations; If you want clogs, go to the store with clogs in its name. ClogsN-More is a mecca for Portlanders who prize comfort over style—so, you know, most Portlanders. If you want Danskos on sale, this is the spot, but if you’re looking for anything besides clogs, the deals and selection are less impressive.

John Fluevog

1224 SW Stark St., 241-3338, Fluevogs may come from the other Vancouver—the nice one, in Canada—but the famously eccentric line of quirkily dapper shoes belongs in Portland. Look out for a riding boot designed in collaboration with Courtney Taylor-Taylor of the Dandy Warhols.


1433 NE Broadway, 493-0070, The German health shoe, Birkenstocks, go in and out of fashion like skinny ties. Luckily for every human with feet, they are in once again. Footwise sells every style of Birks an Oregonian could desire, from Arizonas to Gizehs. Plus, the store has a decent selection of other good-for-feet shoes, boots, slippers, insoles and socks.

Big and Tall Oddball Shoe Company

M I C H A E L A F U J I TA - C O N R A D S

1801 NW Thurman St., 827-7800, Since 1997, Oddball has been providing big shoes for big feet—mostly male, mostly size 14 to 18, and mostly athletic and casualwear, with a small but expanding stock of dress shoes. You can also get large socks in brightly colored stripe and polka-dot patterns, designed by Oddball. Plus, it has a bar, vintage arcade video games and a wall of footprints from NBA players like Tim Duncan (size 16) and Channing Frye (size 17).

ODDBALL Willamette Week JANUARY 27, 2016


BEER GUIDE Our annual guide to everything beer! · · ·

Brewery listing within an hour of Portland The best beer bars and bottle shops Favorite beer destinations around Oregon and Washington

And of course, our top 10 beers including the prestigious WW BEER OF THE YEAR!

Publishes: February 24, 2016 Space Reservation & Materials Deadline: Thursday, February 4 at 10AM Call: 503.243.2122 | Email: reserVe yOur sPaCe TODay!


Willamette Week JANUARY 27, 2016



Willamette Week JANUARY 27, 2016



Willamette Week JANUARY 27, 2016


Of Bots and Men

I notice places that are heavily industrial and commercial, and when I get home I draw a little rectangle on the map and figure out the coordinates and drop it into my bot. I don’t do residential zones. I think that’s kind of creepy.



Sorry for doing what we in the business now call “pulling a Penn,” but I’m going to briefly turn an article about someone else into a piece about me: A lifetime ago, I was improbably accepted to an elite magnet school, Thomas Jefferson High School for Science and Technology, just outside of Washington, D.C. It was a dream school for dweebs, a place where we could pore over CAD models, intern at the National Cancer Institute, and get our asses handed to us in football. My physics teacher was a former astronaut. One of my classmates is now a neuroscience professor. Another of my former classmates is Internet artist Darius Kazemi. In addition to running his oddball tech company, Feel Train, Kazemi and his wife, Courtney Stanton, make bots. If you use any type of social media, you know bots as the those things that introduce themselves, compliment your profile, then try to sell you drugs. But these lines of code can also amuse us, and Kazemi has been called “the Oscar Wilde of internet bots” by The Guardian. Some of Kazemi’s more notable examples include the Amazon shopping bot, which he designed to send himself surprise presents, a humor professor who attempts to explain joke tweets and the Twitter Sorting Hat Bot, which will sort you into a Hogwarts house complete with a personalized rhyming quartet. Kazemi recently moved to Portland. He reached out to his former classmate—there was a Mexican starlet involved—and we met up at Cathedral Coffee in St. Johns. Here’s a condensed version of our reunion. WW: Hi, Darius! How did you get from TJ to here? Darius Kazemi: I worked in video games for 10 years and did that in Boston, which is where I went to school after high school. I transitioned to doing more Web stuff, and a few years ago started doing Web-based art projects. The Portland connection really came from being invited to speak at XOXO Festival in 2014. Courtney came along with me, and we’d been talking about moving. We’d sort of halfjokingly said, “If we fall in love with Portland on this trip, we’ll move there.” We did, so we moved here. What’s with your project’s title “tiny subversions”? The name came from an essay that I wrote about video games as an undergrad. It was two words in a row. It’s only a coincidence that I ended up making these things that people would refer to as “tiny subversions.” My projects are tiny. A lot of my thoughts, I’ll have the idea for them and sit down and make them in an evening. It’s a very improvisational process for me. Can we talk about “lazy humor” and why Twitter is such a great platform for it? The only thing I can think of is Dada art. The bots are funny, and they don’t make any sense. A lot of it is definitely based in this surreal sense of humor. Dada is a pretty good word for it. Dada artists are direct predecessors of all this stuff. They pull words out of a hat. That’s essentially what I’m doing. With the things that I build, they get funnier the more you engage with them. I have this bot called “AmIRite Bot” that looks at Twitter trending topics. If you tweet “Donald Trump”, it tweets back “More like Donald Dump, amirite?” One of the long-running jokes is that it doesn’t know that “art” rhymes with “fart.” There are so many times when it’d be like, “state of the art, more like cart, amirite?” The jokes

How do these bots translate into making a living? Most of these bots are stuff on the side. Some people paint, I make bots. One of the reasons that Courtney and I moved out here was to start our own creative tech cooperative. We moved out to Portland and we put up a sign that said “We’re in business!” I’m lucky in that enough people follow my work that there were a lot of people waiting to see if they could engage our services. A lot of this is people who are familiar with things I’ve made before and want us to make things similar to that. You don’t go to us to build a website. That’s not what we do. We’ve built a bunch of tools for activists. We built tools for DeRay Mckesson. He’s done a lot of anti-police-brutality work. We built a bot that would essentially help him deal with the mass of haters he gets online. It’s mostly activists who don’t have a 10-person social media team, but still have millions of followers, and need to figure out what to do. Were you surprised to find such an active tech community here? Well, one of the main reasons Portland was at the top of the list was because we wanted a place where there was both a tech community and a creative community. Portland has both separately, and also a good intersection of the two as well. So it wasn’t a huge surprise. We were expecting that community here.

BOT MASTER: Darius Kazemi.

are funnier if you are, what I would say, algorithmically literate. I tried to build it in such a way so you can look at it and intuit what’s going on behind the scenes, and then figure out for yourself what’s so funny. It’s trying to mimic humanity, except not at all. People ask me about artificial intelligence all the time. I’m the furthest thing from that. A lot of the stuff I build is purposefully stupid. “Two Headlines” is one of my bots. A friend of mine pointed out that people on Twitter tend to lean on this lazy joke format. “David Bowie’s in the news, there’s a Republican primary coming up, I’m going to make a joke about David Bowie being in the Republican primary.” It’s easy to automate, so I automated it. It’s pretty easy to teach a computer to do a stupid thing that people do all the time. It’s artificial stupidity. The joke is on us, pointing out that you’re not as clever as you think. The stuff you come up with is so derivative that 30 lines of code could also come up with it. Wow, it’s really only 30 lines of code? Well, I only had to write 30 lines of code. It relies on the entirety of Google News existing, this whole infrastructure, and that Twitter exists. Why is the “Wow So Portland!” Twitter bot that couples breathless Portland exclamations with pictures of industrial and commercial zones so funny? Wow So Portland! is a little bit darker than Two Headlines. It very specifically falls into procedural rhetoric, using code to hammer home a particular point that you couldn’t otherwise. I love quirky Portland. But there are so many people and so much that happens here that is just like any other American city. It sometimes gets erased in public discourse, especially if you read The New York Times. I just wanted to literally show people that there’s so much of Portland that could be anywhere in the United States, and that’s OK. I love what’s unique about Portland, but there are stretches of highway, too. Even if you live east of 82nd and work in a chain restaurant, you’re still a Portlander. I wanted to show this in a visceral way. I knew I could feed a latitude and longitude into Street View and get a fixer on that point in the map. As I drive around Portland,

– HOT BOTS – The Sorting Hat Bot (@SortingBot)

Indubitably Darius Kazemi’s most popular bot. It tweets back a rhyming quartet to notify you of your house in Hogwarts. It recently tweeted a couplet to commemorate the passing of the most famous Slytherin, Severus Snape, as played by Alan Rickman. “Every day I see people talking to it, cursing if they get sorted into Hufflepuff,” Kazemi says.

The Yearly Awards (@YearlyAwards)

For everyone who misses getting a certificate at the end of summer camp, the Yearly Awards give everyone an award. Everyone. Congrats for getting voted the Least Slate Tweeter of 2014! What a remarkable accomplishment!

Content, Forever (

Three minutes into a mini-work break, and you’re already bored of Digg? Enter a time frame (say, two minutes) and a one-word topic (for example, “beer”) and it will regale you with a limited amount of semi-related reading material ripped from Wikipedia.

Wow So Portland! (@wowsoportland)

It pairs breathless reports of Portland’s uniqueness and trendiness with images of nondescript strip malls and soccer fields, pulled from a Google map that Kazemi personally compiles on his trips around town. This city consists of more than indie boutiques and a unicycling Darth Vader, people.

Best of Darius’ Bots (@dariusbots)

Don’t have the time to sort through all of these separate bots? @dariusbots retweets any tweet made by a bot when it reaches a certain favorite or retweet threshold. It’s an eclectic mix of moon shots, museum pieces and surrealistically dumb jokes; for example, a recent favorite from Two Headlines goes, “Amy Schumer in U.S. Increased Last Week to a Six-Month High.”

Willamette Week JANUARY 27, 2016


“The doctors were like, ‘You’ll never play drums again.’”


Thurs. Feb. 4th • 6:45pm-8:30pm

The Portland Marriott Downtown Waterfront

1401 SW Naito Pkwy, Portland, OR 97201 CALL NOW FOR YOUR RESERVED SEATING Free Admission & Gourmet Meal • Please RSVP to (503) 454-6200

Limited Seating Available - CALL Mary Jane at 503-454-6200 NOW! 34

Willamette Week JANUARY 27, 2016



CARRIE, BYE: Carrie Brownstein has left Portland. Although it’s unclear exactly when it happened, the SleaterKinney singer-guitarist and celebrity the rest of the world most identifies with Portland has been discussing her recent move to Los Angeles in interviews about the season 6 premiere of Portlandia, telling Vulture she relocated to focus on writing. “I also hope to do more acting, but being in L.A. for now is mostly about positioning myself in a different context, including in a much sunnier place,” she said. >> In other Portland exodus news, Amy Miller and Sean Jordan— the first- and second-year winners of WW’s Funniest Five comedian poll—are also moving to Los Angeles. A farewell show, featuring Miller and Jordan and a set from a band featuring members of the Thermals and the Decemberists, is scheduled for March Brownstein 13 at the Aladdin Theater. PEARLY BLIGHT: Pearl District wine bar Remedy is closing after three years. Owner Michael Madigan says the problem was the fast-growing homeless population in the North Park Blocks. “We took pictures of people having public sex in the parks,” he says. “One of our employees took a picture of a dealer injecting drugs into someone’s neck.” Madigan says his business was down and his employees were harassed. “Every day those stairs are used as a latrine. There are public restrooms two blocks away,” he says. “I remember asking people, ‘Why aren’t you going to those restrooms?’ They said, ‘The drug dealers won’t let us in.’” He says his calls for police to enforce no-smoking and camping ordinances in the park went unheeded. Remedy’s last day in the Pearl is Jan. 30. BEER, BEER: Downtown beer bar Bailey’s Taproom plans to expand again along the Southwest Ankeny Street alleyway. Bailey’s Geoff Phillips plans a bottle shop called Brewed in Oregon in the space once occupied by DJ-friendly record store 360 Vinyl. He filed a liquor-license application for the space Jan. 19. The focus, not surprisingly, will be on beers brewed in Oregon. Plans for the bottle shop are still preliminary, Phillips says. He doesn’t expect to move into the space before April. >> Meanwhile, Tony Magee of California craft brewery Lagunitas tweeted that he plans to open an undisclosed business four blocks from Bailey’s at 424 SW 4th Ave. He says it won’t be a pub, but rather “sumpin’ better.” CIDER, CIDER: There have been a lot of big announcements in the Portland cider scene during the run-up to the industry’s largest event, CiderCon, which starts Tuesday, Feb. 2, at the Hilton Portland & Executive Tower. Portland Cider Co. is spending $1 million to expand into a 20,000-squarefoot production space in Clackamas. Owner and cider maker Jeff Parrish plans to increase cider production to 1.5 million barrels annually, after doubling his production each year since 2013. The company’s cidery and taproom in Oregon City will close when the Clackamas facility opens in April. >> In November, Cider Riot cidery leased a 7,000-square-foot space at Northeast Couch Street and 8th Avenue. It plans to ramp up production and add a taproom. The cidery currently operates out of cider maker Abram Goldman-Armstrong’s garage. “I saw [cider maker] Nat [West] and the Commons [brewery] move into a new space, and then fill it up again and have to move,” Goldman-Armstrong tells WW. “So I figured I’d go up two steps and barely hang on to the next rung.”



page 39



The Mario Kart 64 Tournament is at the Ace Hotel, 1022 SW Stark St., 228-2277,, on Thursday, Jan. 28. 5-9 pm. Free.



Chicano Batman


[LATIN SOUL] A bevy of rockinflected Central and South American sounds make their way into Chicano Batman’s batch of breezy psychedelia. On its latest album, Cycles of Existential Rhyme, a funky rhythm section mingles with unhurried chording and pointed key flourishes. There’s even a bit of cowbell tossed in for good measure. Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside St., 231-9663. 8 pm. $15 advance, $18 day of show. 21+.


You’re type A and probably have anxiety. “He’s the hero type. He’s expressive; he’s extroverted, definitely a type A guy, focused. He cooperates with others, but he’s a leader. Even his colors, like red and blue, those are superhero colors. Those are power colors. With people who are type A, he’ll need to manage that anxiety because he’s really set up for a stress-related disorder.”


You’re shy and neurotic. “Luigi is a little shy, good-natured, more introverted. Maybe even a little bit neurotic, nervous, self-conscious. He kind of wants to be reassured. He’s prone to social anxiety or social phobia and anxious being around a group of people and having to socialize.”


You’re all about the drama. “She’s a damsel in distress. She’s open, very friendly, open-minded, kind, conscientious and feels the need to help helpless creatures. But she can defend herself when push comes to shove. She knows what she wants. She likes excitement, that adrenaline rush of being in danger, wanting to be rescued. I don’t know if she puts herself in peril on purpose.”



You’re goofy and likable, but might get used. “He likes other people; he’s collaborative; he’s creative with his powers, which are a little bit different. He’s probably kind of funny. His look looks a little bit clumsy, so he’s not stealthy like Mario. He has to befriend other people, and I think he does it by being creative and funny and enjoying others. You definitely want Yoshi at your party.”

What the Day Owes to the Night

[DANCE] Twelve shirtless French-Algerian and Burkina Fasso male dancers perform an acrobatic mash-up of b-boying, capoeira and contemporary dance in the year’s first offering from White Bird, the company responsible for most of Portland’s stand-out dance imports. PSU’s Lincoln Hall, 1620 SW Park Ave. 8 pm. $25-$34.

FRIDAY JAN. 29 Harlem in Havana

WHAT DOES YOUR CHOSEN MARIO KART CHARACTER SAY ABOUT YOU? Think twice before you click the B button. Selecting a character to play in Mario Kart is a personal choice, but it’s also a statement. Are you the big, burly dude who plays as Princess Peach? The bad kid who plays as Bowser? Whoever plays as Luigi? If you show up to play in Thursday’s Mario Kart 64 Tournament at the Ace Hotel, people will judge you. Before you reveal yourself to strangers, you should know what your character says about you. So WW interviewed to Dr. Karen Chenier, an actual therapist and Portland State University

psychology professor. In 45 minutes—that’s about $80 in the therapist’s office—she informed us about the psychology behind Mario Kart characters. We focused on the eight classic characters from 1992’s Super Mario Kart. Mario Kart 64 has the same characters, except Donkey Kong Jr. is swapped for Donkey Kong, and Koopa Troopa is replaced by Wario. The current version, Mario Kart 8 for Wii U, has 52 characters, enough to populate a dissertation. SOPHIA JUNE.

[MICHAEL JAZZSON] Trumpeter Thara Memory and legendary percussionist Bobby Torres combine orchestras to present perfect south-ofthe-border interpretations of Michael Jackson’s pop hits. This isn’t hotel lobby music: Expect soaring horn solos, grooving rhythms, and stacked vocal harmonies. Jimmy Mak’s, 221 NW 10th Ave., 295-6542. 7:30 and 10 pm. $20 general admission, $25 reserved seating. Under 21 permitted until 9:30 pm.

SATURDAY JAN. 30 Gilmore Guys Live

[TV COMMENTARY] Two 20-something guys who mansplain every Gilmore Girls episode for their uber-popular podcast are on a mission to tour the country before they get to series’ end. Now Netflix binge-watching can count as background research. Aladdin Theater, 3017 SE Milwaukie Ave., 8 pm. $18.

TUESDAY FEB. 2 Julia Holter


You’re a narcissist. “He’s totally narcissistic and needs attention. He’s mean, and he can just gobble up everything around and not feel satisfied. You can’t really befriend him. Eventually he’s going to leave. It’s not for the long haul. Avoid him. He would never come into therapy. I don’t think he would benefit from therapy; he’s too narcissistic.”

DONKEY KONG JR. You’ve got emotional baggage. “He’s just totally destructive. He’s got a big chip on his shoulder. He’s aggressive and hostile and passiveaggressive and smart. I think he tends to have to prove himself, so he’s one to brag about himself. But he’s not like his father [who Mario killed]. He needs some anger management for sure. The chip on his shoulder stems from baggage from his dad, and if he went to some therapy, he could get on with his life. He’s not narcissistic; he’s wounded.”

KOOPA TROOPA You can’t think for yourself. “Koopa is peaceful; he tends to follow orders. But he can also be more passive-aggressive. When he wants to protect himself, he kind of hides back. Is he being aggressive because he was told to be aggressive, or is that kind of in his nature? He tends to follow others and follow orders from somebody in authority. If Bowser told him what to do, he’d do it.”


You’re wise, but flaky. “I think Toad is more like a sage—a wise and enlightened character. He’s clever; he’s conscientious and is a leader, but doesn’t like attention. He’s unpredictable; maybe he comes when you really need him, like a terrific friend or an old relative who you didn’t think cared about you, and they’re totally there for you and they don’t need attention. Toad is a little more introverted, too. Toad is up there in Maslow’s self-actualization.”

[ORCHESTRAL POP] Holter’s latest album is full of dreamy melodies that make you feel like you’re in an indie movie set on a sailboat in Denmark. Synthetic sounds are second to multiinstrumental skills and clear vocals with a Nordic twang. Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison St., 239-7639. 8:30 pm. $12 advance, $15 day of show. 21+.

Cider Riot Tap Takeover

[CIDER] To kick off the massive CiderCon in Portland through Feb. 6, Cider Riot will throw down a bunch of one-off ciders—ciders with Imperial yeast, ciders with special English-style cider pears—filling 15 taps at Apex. Apex, 1216 SE Division St., 273-9227. 4 pm.

Willamette Week JANUARY 27, 2016



FOOD & DRINK = WW Pick. Highly recommended. By MATTHEW KORFHAGE. Editor: MARTIN CIZMAR. Email: See page 3 for submission instructions.

WEDNESDAY, JAN. 27 Israeli Dinner


Jenn Louis keeps putting on multicourse international meals for affordable prices—it’s sort of terrific. This time it’s a family-style Israeli dinner for $25, as a sort of a sneak preview of Louis’ upcoming Israeli-style restaurant she’s opening in Los Angeles. Reservations recommended. Lincoln, 3808 N Williams Ave., 288-6200.

FRIDAY, JAN. 29 Roscoe’s New Breweries Summit

It’s been a damn good year for new breweries in Portland. Roscoe’s will host taps from Coin Toss, Labrewatory, Great Notion, Ruse Brewing, Culmination, Montavilla Brew Works, Rosenstadt and others. Roscoe’s, 8105 SE Stark St., 255-0049. 2 pm.

SATURDAY, JAN. 30 Artisinful Beer and Chocolate Fest

Portland artisan chocolatiers will hand out samples of their fine chocolates, which you can then pair with 5-ounce pours of appropriate beers. Culmination Brewing, 2117 NE Oregon St., 971-258-2808. $12 for cup and five tasters.

Base Camp Collabofest @WillametteWeek

Breweries and cidermakers will collaborate to make 17 never-beforeseen beers. So Cider Riot and Nat’s will team on a cider involving Wild Palm Syrup, and Laurelwood and Baerlic will reconstruct an extinct German ale. Base Camp, 930 SE Oak St., 477-7479. 2 pm. $25.

TUESDAY, FEB. 2 Cider Riot Tap Takeover

Portland garagiste cidermaker Cider Riot will kick off CiderCon in Portland with a 15-tap takeover at Apex, including ciders with Imperial yeast, ciders with special English-style cider pears. Apex, 1216 SE Division St., 273-9227. 4 pm.

Where to eat this week. 1. Tastebud

7783 SW Capitol Highway, 2340330, Tastebud’s excellent wood-fired pies make it the best new restaurant Multnomah Village has seen in a generation, with thoughtfully constructed flavor combinations served up on its pleasant, lightly tart dough. $$.

2. Reo’s Ribs

4211 NE Sandy Blvd., 719-6291. After years down and out on East Division, Reo’s is back smoking up fine $12-a-plate ribs in the old Hollywood Burger Bar, with heavy, sweet Mississippi-style sauce and damn good meat noted for its thick bark and vivid fuchsia interior. $.

3. Straits Kitchen

1112 SE Tacoma St., 971-325-7323, Portland’s first and only BabaNyonya cart serves up Chinese Malaysian fare, including some seriously addictive soy-lime-jalapeño fried-chicken bites and a laksa lemak curry that merges two great traditions of spice. $.

4. Olympia Oyster Bar

4214 N Mississippi Ave., 841-6316, The newly opened Olympia is serving up a deep selection of Olympia oysters—whether on the half-shell or in fanciful preparations like de-shelled oysters in a little bird’s nest of toasted phyllo. $$$.

5. Culmination Brewing

2117 NE Oregon St., 971-258-2808, culminationbrewing. Culmination, hidden among the warehouses just north of Sandy Boulevard, does not look like a good place to get a Tex-Mex taco, but good God damn: It’s turning out some of the best brewery food in Portland, with a very fine trio of brisket-cabbage tacos available as a $10 plate, with $2 worth of candied bacon serving as meat dessert. $.


Crooked Cock Scrumpy (PORTLAND CIDER CO.) @wweek

@WillametteWeek 36

Willamette Week JANUARY 27, 2016

Scrumpy was the original craft cider of West Country England the same way moonshine was the original craft whiskey of Appalachia—a local, unfiltered, uncarbonated, often steeply alcoholic and sometimes tooth-kickingly bitter concoction of wildly variable quality. These days, it’s either a quaintly backcountry B & B quaff or the malt 40 of England and Oz, a cheap drunk sold in plastic one-liters to cheap drunks. And so Portland Cider Co.’s Crooked Cock Scrumpy, with its hefty 13 percent ABV, is marketed with a picture of a drunk chicken—or, as the British press would have it, a chicken that is “tired and emotional.” But it’s not particularly cheap ($6 for 6 ounces at Hawthorne’s Portland Cider House), and it doesn’t taste cheap either. Despite its hefty alcohol fortification, Crooked Cock is both filtered and aged in bourboned oak, which makes it a lot like a tawny port made of apples instead of grapes. It is a bracing, if not comforting, winter drink—good for a pop into the cider pub for a cheek warmer before you return to the cold and unforgiving streets of Hawthorne. MATTHEW KORFHAGE.

E M I LY J O A N G R E E N E , M E E J I N ( L ) , N A K H O N ( R )


THAI FIGHTERS: The Crying Tiger steak at Mee Gin (left) and Hat Yai chicken at Nakhon.


your sinuses via your gums. The shrimp- or mackerel was both brilliant bar snack and a pork-studded pad sator ($12) features solid accompaniment to the best entree I Order this at Mee Gin: south Thailand’s most prized gourd, tried: a lightly salt-and-peppered, sliced Crying Tiger steak, bok choy with sun-dried the stink bean; it’s bright green, pintorib-eye steak called the Crying Tiger ($16), BY M AT T H E W KO R F H AGE mackerel. sized, smells like a gas leak and holds up served up with a tart tamarind sauce. Order this at Nakhon: beautifully against shrimp-pasted ferUnfortunately, the rest of the menu Gai Tod Hat Yai, Thai restaurants used to all be called Beau Thai, or Thai wasn’t nearly as successful: Those musment and spice. The all-meat kua kling kua kling. Me Up! Thai Me Down!, or thaiPad. And they all had pad sels were distressingly hard-tacked to their ($12)—essentially a curry that uses pork rather than coconut milk as its base—is a riot Thai. But ever since farang ambassador Pok Pok started shells or sealed shut. A chicken avocado dappling its papaya salad with soft-shell crab, local Thai curry ($11-$16) had richly fatty sauce, but the of heat and funk, like a sweaty James Brown spots have begun repping regional plates and unfamiliar huge chunks of avocado in it were woefully underback in the day. The dish’s uncanny flavor becomes spices alongside the drunken noodles. quickly addictive, as does the adrenaline rush while ripe and left to drown on the plate. And the sticky, now Within a month of each other last fall, two Thai restau- obligatory fish-sauce wings are better had elsewhere. eating it. You can order “mild,” but then why are you here? To soothe yourself, get the tom kha soup ($6). rants—Nakhon and Mee Gin Soul Kitchen—opened a few On the cocktail side, a flight of Thai whiskeys and rum blocks apart on Southeast Hawthorne was unexpected and welcome, but the restaurant’s name- While many Thai spots use a mix, Nakhon’s is fresh Boulevard. Neither menu looks like sake Mee Gin Mee Gin, a chili-spiced gin cocktail ($9), and milky and rich as any foie gras, with surprisingly any other in Portland. And both was so overpowered by triple sec and pineapple juice it gentle spicing: It could be a coastal coconut chowder. advertise ingredients that are On the snack menu, kai look koei ($7)—literally, tasted a bit like paint smells. either sourced fresh and local, In decor, Nakhon is Mee Gin’s exact opposite. “son-in-law eggs”—is a soft-boiled Thai take on the scotch or imported directly from Located in a ramshackle house that most recently egg, molten within and fried to a sticky shell of tamarind. Just avoid the rock-hard pork belly, and the Thailand—on dishes whose hosted the Hawthorne Street Cafe—with a framed tile prices can climb near $20. sign from that restaurant still on the wall in a tucked- d i sa p p o i n t i n g l y m u s hy s e a b a s s ( $ 1 5 f o r t h e Of the two, Mee Gin Soul away room—the place, staffed by a lot of the original tamarind-sauced version). And note that serKitchen is the more self-concrew from Morrison Street’s Tarad Thai, looks like it vice is often glacial, even bringing a bottle of beer. Mee Gin’s pretty dining room, varied menu and friendly, sciously upscale. It looks like a should still serve marionberry pie and pancakes. MEE GIN’S MEE GIN efficient service has so far been drawing the bighyper-modern Bangkok bar gone It is instead devoted to the pungent, famously searMEE GIN COCKTAIL ger crowds on Hawthorne. But given the native in Portland, with chalkboard ing food of Thailand’s deep south. Earl Ninsom specials, bulbs hanging naked from choice of flashy decor with no heat, and of PaaDee will soon open a spot on Northeast wires, and pictures of plows painted on earth-toned walls. searing heat with no flash, I’ll take Killingsworth Street devoted to Hat Yai fried Mee Gin’s menu is as playful as the decor, mixing old chicken, but his brother, Nakhon co-owner Nakhon any day of the week. family recipes with melting-pot street fare like pesto- Nattanop Ninsom, beat him to the punch EAT: Nakhon, 3354 SE herbed Thai “spaghetti” that looks like chow mein ($10- with lovely, light-battered bird cuts ($12) Hawthorne Blvd., 971$15), a $22 lamb massamun plate with bones arranged marinated beneath the skin and served 279-5395. 11:30 am-11 pm like crossed swords, and a “New Zealand” garlic mus- with sweet-hot dipping sauce, though it’s Tuesday-Thursday, 11:30 am-1 am Friday, noon-1 sel dish ($14) as familiar to the streets of Bangkok as a far better with the bright pepper-vinegar am Saturday, noon-8 pm Turkish-style kebab is to Berlin. sauce served with the tamarind sea bass. Sunday. Mee Gin Soul Kitchen, Stick to the simple dishes, though. A humble mushroom Flip the menu to the backside contain3616 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 231-9898. Noon-9:30 pm and cabbage soup was mild and lightly floral with lemon- ing the southern specialties, in the knowlSunday-Thursday, noon-10 pm grass, a comfort for the sick or homesick. A lightly crisped, edge that if you order them “like you would Friday-Saturday. tender bok choy dish salted up with soy and sun-dried eat them,” the dishes will be hot enough to lance NAKHON’S KUA KLING Willamette Week JANUARY 27, 2016



Willamette Week JANUARY 27, 2016


= WW Pick. Highly recommended.


Prices listed are sometimes for advance ticket sales. At-the-door increases and socalled convenience charges may apply. Event lineups are subject to change after WW’s press deadlines. Editor: MATTHEW SINGER. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, go to submitevents and follow submission directions. All shows should be submitted two weeks or more in advance of event. Press kits, CDs and especially vinyl can be sent to Music Desk, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Please include show or release date information with all physical mailings. Email: Fax: 243-1115.

WEDNESDAY, JAN. 27 Chicano Batman, The Verner Pantons

[LATIN SOUL] A bevy of rock-inflected Central and South American sounds make their way into Chicano Batman’s batch of breezy psychedelia. That the Los Angeles band saw fit to include a cover of Laura Nyro’s “Stoned Soul Picnic” on its latest album, Cycles of Existential Rhyme, in addition to issuing it as the B-side of a single, speaks volumes about the ensemble’s musical DNA. But any offering from its eponymous debut a few years back just as ably features a funky rhythm section mingling with unhurried chording and pointed key flourishes. There’s even a bit of cowbell tossed in for good measure. DAVE CANTOR. Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside St., 231-9663 9 pm. $18. 21+.

Battle Cries and Champagne: Remembering David Bowie

[STARMAN GAZING] If you only go to one local David Bowie tribute, you should probably make it the one headlined by a one-off supergroup featuring members of Unknown Mortal Orchestra, Wampire and Blouse. That would be this one, which also features astral-soul outfit PWRHAUS, the psychedelic synth-pop of Gold Casio, the dramatic guitar pop of the Breaking, and shoegazers Haste. How better to pay homage to a fallen idol than with a bill whose sheer eclecticism shows just how far his influence reached? A portion of the proceeds go to the American Cancer Society. Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison St., 239-7639. 8 pm. $8 advance, $10 day of show. 21+.

THURSDAY, JAN. 28 Bright Light Social Hour, James Supercave, Talkative

[SOUTHERN PSYCH] The Austin-based cosmonauts in Bright Light Social Hour titled last year’s sophomore effort Space Is Still the Place, a somewhat brazen attempt to place themselves in the same stratosphere of star-tripping genius as Sun Ra. But while the band might inhabit an entirely different section of the psychedelic galaxy, it acquits itself well as a sort of breakfast-taco version of Tame Impala, exploring similar cosmic terrain but with a tether to the earthier soul and blues of its home region. MATTHEW SINGER. Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., 288-3895. 9 pm. $12. 21+.

FRIDAY, JAN. 29 Saintseneca, Des Ark, Haley Heynderickx

[FOLK ROCK] Saintseneca is an interesting study in mixed genres. Formed in 2007 by singer Zac Little, the quintet mixes elements of high-energy, radioready folk anthems with grungy, hazy, bellowing rock. Little groans, mutters and slurs his way through most songs, musing on themes of human thought, doom, gloom and nature. Not unlike the band’s past work, Saintseneca’s third album, Such Things, dwells only briefly in twee-folk instrumentation. Instead, the group fine-tunes its fuzzier side, swiftly alternating between bright, optimistic melodies and gloomy, rolling buzzes, warbles and riffs. KAITIE TODD. Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside St. 9 pm. $10 advance, $12 day of show.

Talib Kweli and DJ Hi-Tek

[BACKPACK RAP LIFER] Talib Kweli has always been the voice of reason. The Brooklyn-born rapper came to light in the late ‘90s, alongside Mos Def in Black Star, as a beacon of light in the world of conscious hip-hop, continu-

ing in the tradition of heroes De La Soul and Rakim by reflecting on social issues more than big pimpin’. So it was hardly a surprise when he took to Twitter last week to call out Australian pop-rapper Iggy Azalea for cultural appropriation. The whole exchange is pretty hilarious, but it underscores a problem with Kweli’s recent work. In trying so hard to be on point, the music is often a retread of past glories. Indie 500, released last November, pairs Kweli with producer 9th Wonder, and it’s a hit or miss affair that tries too hard to avoid current rap trends. “Some of this real-life shit it don’t appeal to blogs,” Kweli notes in “Great Day in the Morning,” which is technically true, but blogs also don’t really exist anymore. With so many great songs under his belt, though, tonight’s show should still knock, even if it feels like 2005. MICHAEL MANNHEIMER. Wonder Ballroom, 128 NE Russell St., 284-8686. 9 pm. $27.50 general admission, $50 meet-and-greet VIP. All ages.

SATURDAY, JAN. 30 Jessica Lea Mayfield

[HEARTBREAK JAMS] Seemingly everyone in the Pacific Northwest loved Elliott Smith for his honest songs and heart-wrenching lyrics. So, Portland should especially love singer-songwriter Jessica Lea Mayfield, as her most recent studio effort was a collection of Smith covers with Seth Avett. Outside of her love of Portland’s favorite adopted son, Mayfield’s own original music details heartbreak in its range of forms. Her earliest work, dating back to 2008, the Dan Auerbach-produced With Blasphemy, So Heartfelt, features more acoustic interpretations, while her sound grew more aggressive leading up to 2014’s Make My Head Sing. Though her means of delivery continue to evolve, Mayfield’s message and mystique remain constant. HILARY SAUNDERS. Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside St., 231-9663. 9 pm. $13 advance, $15 day of show.

Powerman 5000, Knee High Fox, Toxic Zombie, Emissary Echo, Particle Son

[SCI-FI ROCK] It’s not a good sign when the most memorable thing about your band is that your vocalist is Rob Zombie’s little brother. Powerman 5000 was one of nu-metal’s more successful also-rans, merging late-’90s sci-fi themes with a tempo-oriented version of hard rock on 1999’s Tonight the Stars Revolt! to comparative success. As it turns out, Spider One (that’s Zombie Jr.) has kept the project going well into the new millennium, the halcyon days of horror movie and PlayStation 2 racinggame soundtracks a distant memory. Now playing a more aggressive version of Killers-esque dance rock, PM5K’s pulpy, self-deprecating aesthetic is probably cleverer than it seems. WALKER MACMURDO. Hawthorne Theatre, 1507 SE César E. Chávez Blvd., 233-7100. 6:30 pm. $14 advance, $16 day of show. All ages.

Unknown Mortal Orchestra, Lower Dens

[FADED IN THE MORNING] Like many bands of the 2010s, Baltimore dronepop quartet Lower Dens changed face on its third record by joining the crowd. At least that’s the press angle touted on Escape from Evil, where the group, led by Jana Hunter, subtly explore electronic sounds and ‘80s pop by replacing some of the guitars with synthesizers. This is no dance remake, though. Hunter’s stunning monotone croon is still the centerpiece of these tangled, mesmerizing songs, but there’s more light in the mix thanks to co-producer Chris Coady. It should be the perfect intro to Unknown

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Dan Haugh (left) and Mike Kunka of Godheadsilo.

The Best Is Noise

Dan. Sometimes he would puke after he played for 15 minutes. Do you want him to hit half as hard and play for 30 minutes, or get the full deal for half as long?” BY N ATHA N CA R SON 243-2122 But exhaustion did play a part in the group’s demise. “Some years we would tour like eight A lot has changed since the heyday of the or nine months, because there was no Internet, American noise-rock scene, but Godheadsilo so the only way to show what you were doing to people was to put it in front of them,” Kunka remains frozen in amber. “We don’t have the Internet at our house,” says. “We were trying our hardest not to have says bassist Mike Kunka from his farm in Wash- regular jobs. So we’re like, ‘We’ll sleep in the van ington state. “I don’t even really know what’s and split a pack of salami’ or whatever. Dan and I were so bummed at how hard it was. By the time going on. I just have a guess.” In the ’90s, Kunka and his musical life partner, we started doing well, we were done doing it.” And there was that aforementioned incident drummer Dan Haugh, originated a form of pulverizinvolving Haugh, which happened just as ing, propulsive noise as loud as it was intense. the band was recording its second Sub Taking cues from scene luminaries Pop opus, 1998’s Share the Fantasy. “I such as Melvins, Hammerhead and had an accident where my hand was Steel Pole Bath Tub, Godheadsilo “We’re so almost cut off completely,” Haugh formed in the pair’s hometown of says. “The doctors were like, Fargo, N.D., using stacks of amps, loud, it’s kind ‘You’ll never play drums again.’ A a variety of stomp-box effects few years of intense physical and and a Frankenstein’s monster of of a bummer— occupational therapy got it worka drum kit to abuse the eardrums not for us” ing again. It’s still pretty wonky, of anyone who wandered into their but it can hold a drumstick just fine.” path. They worked with heavyweight Luckily, Haugh’s rehabilitation has indie labels such as Kill Rock Stars and come a long way since then. Kunka and Sub Pop, released three full-length albums Haugh first resumed playing together by backing and broke up in 1998, placing the band firmly in the post-grunge, pre-Internet moment. While groups up Spencer Moody’s post-Murder City Devils band, like Lightning Bolt have cited Godheadsilo as an Smoke and Smoke, in 2004. Then, last year, Godheadinfluence, look up the band online and you’ll only find silo finally responded to a recurring invitation to play a yearly tribute show for beloved Fargo venue Ralph’s a smattering of information. Now, Godheadsilo is coming unstuck from Corner, which closed in 2005. “It’s like going to watch time, and getting back on the road. But if you ask your dad play softball or something,” Kunka says. “It the band members, this reunion isn’t about cor- was what I wanted it to be. It was fun. We never took recting the record and asserting their legacy. The ourselves seriously, so why start now?” And now, Godheadsilo re-emerges in the way they see it, it’s not a reunion at all. “Godheadsilo never really broke up,” says Haugh, Internet age, a time its members don’t completely who lives in New Orleans. “I had a horrible accident, understand. “It seemed like the way to do it was lost my ability to play drums for several years, and it to work hard,” Kunka says. “Nowadays, you work really hard on your website.” But he’s not comwas just kind of like a fade-away kind of thing.” plaining. He is coming out of semi-retirement Still, going quietly certainly isn’t the way fans with positivity and humor, and an appreciation would have expected the band to end the first time for what he and Haugh, his friend since their teenaround. In its prime, there weren’t many bands that age years, managed to accomplish. “It’s ridiculous were louder. “We’re so loud, it’s kind of a bummer— how well we did for how shitty we were.” not for us,” Kunka laughs. Most Godheadsilo sets were breathtakingly furious, lasting no more than SEE IT: Godheadsilo plays Bunk Bar, 1028 SE 20 minutes. “After 15, 20 minutes of that, you don’t Water Ave., on Saturday and Sunday, Jan. 30-31. need any more,” Kunka says. “It made it better for 10 pm. $15. Saturday’s show sold out. 21+.


Willamette Week JANUARY 27, 2016



Willamette Week JANUARY 27, 2016

MUSIC The Wood Brothers, Liz Vice

[FoLK FUSIon] Artists have always tried to capture the spirit of the American dream, whether on canvas or vinyl, but what the Wood Brothers’ Paradise focuses on is its dissolution rather than its longevity. the album’s true merit lies in just how well singerguitarist oliver Wood can convey both celebration and sorrow, as well as the rootsy, Band-esque instrumentation his brother, chris, and multi-instrumentalist Jano Rix bring to the table. the end result is a cohesive set of tunes that, much like the group’s past eight releases, blend eclectic backgrounds and drop hints of jazz, R&B and classic country into a melting pot of Southern Americana that’s best served live. BRAnDon WIDDER. Roseland Theater, 8 NW 6th Ave., 971230-0033. 8 pm. $22 advance, $25 day of show. All ages.

SUNDAY, JAN. 31 Eagle Rock Gospel Singers

[BLUESY GoSPEL] Eagle Rock Gospel Singers’ debut full-length, Heavenly Fire, is an album of original gospel tracks in which references to the Apostles, glory, rising waters and hellfire come fast and furious. But it’s just as easy to get swept up in the rolling-train rhythms, rollicking trumpets, slide guitar and booming, soulful group vocals—especially those of lead singer Kim Garcia, whose powerful alto raises the choruses to barn-burning temperatures. citing gospel tunes of the 1930s and ’40s as an influence, the L.A. five-piece trades off slower tracks like “crying”—built on a steady doo-wop swing, echoing vocals and a shaky organ line—to energetic tracks like the single “Mmlj,” which steadily surges at a breakneck pace toward a big, stormy, infectiously foot-tapping end. KAItIE toDD. Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave. 8 pm. $12 advance, $15 day of show. 21+.

Godspeed You! Black Emperor

[SQUAttER PoSt-RocK] With a live show reputed to be more religious experience than rock gig, GY!BE bas been moving crowds to tears since its hiatus ended in 2010. In the time since, it’s made two more albums of slightly darker, orchestral post-rock, won a Polaris prize and been detained as a possible terrorist threat by police in Ardmore, okla. the band’s impassioned live show features looped film projections and almost zero visibility of the musicians onstage but will probably be remembered as a high point of your concertgoing life. I speak from experience. cRIS LAnKEnAU. Wonder Ballroom, 128 NE Russell St., 284-8686. 8:30 pm. Sold out. 21+. Through Feb. 1.

MONDAY, FEB. 1 Warbringer, Enforcer, Cauldron, Exmortus, Excruciator, Gladius

[tHRASHIn’] Warbringer and Enforcer bring two different flavors of throwback thrash. california’s Warbringer lies on the edgier, black metal-influenced German style of thrash, complete with barked vocals, shredding guitar solos and, as the name suggests, a whole lot of war imagery. Sweden’s Enforcer lies on the now very old new Wave of British heavy metal side of things: even more shredding guitar work; high-pitched, clean vocals delivered by frontman olof Wikstrand; and enough swords and sorcery to make Gary Gygax blush. If live videos are any indication, this show will be worth it for Enforcer’s theatrics and Wikstrand’s vocals. Be sure to wear your finest sleeveless jean jacket. WALKER MAcMURDo. Hawthorne Theatre, 1507 SE César E. Chávez Blvd., 233-7100. 6:30 pm. $14 advance, $16 day of show. All ages.

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Mortal orchestra’s blue-eyed funk, highlighted by one of last year’s best albums, Multi-Love. MIcHAEL MAnnHEIMER. Revolution Hall, 1300 SE Stark St., No. 110, 288-3895. 9 pm. Sold out. 21+.

The Lavender Flu WHO: Chris Gunn (guitar, vocals), Scott Simmons (bass, keyboards), Lucas Gunn (guitar), Ben Spencer (drums).

SOUNDS LIKE: Pop music dreaming about itself. FOR FANS OF: The Hunches, Eat Skull, Sic Alps, Neil Michael

Hagerty, White Fence, Castanets, Amen Dunes, John Frusciante.

As the guitarist for Portland’s beloved and bedeviling Hunches, Chris Gunn helped create some of the last decade’s most memorable garage rock, the vim and venom of which struck the same raw nerve as Jay Reatard’s best work. The band broke up after perfecting its chaotic art on 2009’s Exit Dreams, and Gunn, who was living in San Francisco at the time, had what he calls a “weird vision” of his immediate musical future. According to Gunn, he was possessed by an inchoate urge “to do this 7-inch that would morph between an original song and like a Townes Van Zandt song and then a John Fahey song.” Gunn did not release a 7-inch, but he did record music. A lot of music. He moved back to Portland in 2010, scored a room in Old Standard Sound, where the Hunches had recorded Exit Dreams, and embarked on an odyssey of analog experimentation that would eventually become the Lavender Flu. “For three years, two years, I was like, ‘OK, we’re just going to drink beer, and whoever wants to come over and record can come over,’” Gunn says. “So it was a free-for-all.” Among those who joined Gunn’s free-for-all were his brother Lucas Gunn, Hunches drummer Ben Spencer and Eat Skull vet Scott Simmons—all of whom now comprise the official Lavender Flu lineup—along with friends like Old Standard owner Justin Higgins, Hunches frontman Hart Gledhill and Adam Stonehouse of the Hospitals. “It eventually got to the point where I had hundreds of these songs, or whatever you want to call them,” Chris Gunn says. “So then we had to sit and decide which ones we wanted to focus on for this first record and think about which ones fit together, like putting together a puzzle or a map.” The result of Gunn’s puzzling is Heavy Air, an intimate, 30-song headphone epic comprising sparkling pop gems, off-kilter covers, druggy soundscapes, abstract digressions and buzzing fragments. Although Gunn had plenty of help with Heavy Air, the Lavender Flu’s sprawling double LP coheres as a portrait of a lonesome lo-fi perfectionist, a dude obsessed with shrinking the distance between the primal sounds in his head and the tape that awaits them. In a way, Gunn continues to chase the reckless transcendence that powered his former band. But he’s taking the scenic route this time, collecting evidence of damaged glory as he goes. Gunn is no longer sprinting headlong into oblivion, as was the Hunches’ wont, and he is happy that way. “It’s cool to be able to play the songs and express it through that,” he says, “rather than go jump into a wall.” CHRIS STAMM. SEE IT: the Lavender Flu plays Mississippi Studios, 3939 n Mississippi Ave., with Patsy’s Rats, on Friday, Jan. 29. 9:30 pm. $5. 21+. Willamette Week JANUARY 27, 2016



Paul Chasman’s musical career has spanned over 45 years during which time he has been a guitarist, composer, teacher, recording artist, guitar harmonics innovator, and one of the founding members of the Acoustic Guitar Summit. Like any good Southerner (or any Southerner worth their salt), Andy Anderson loves a good story. Listening to them or telling them. Jack McMahon has been a per performing singer-songwriter for all of his adult life. From his teenage days with New Jersey band “The “ he Nightwatch,” and his early stints as a solo artist in NYC’s Greenwich Village and Upper Eastside clubs, Jack has always given the music priority over antics and image.


Danny Newcomb was a founding member of Goodness, and toured over the States, opening for Cheap Trick, Elliot Smith, Pearl Jam and Oasis. He also helped to start the Rockfords with Mike McCready of Pearl Jam, with whom he released a full-length record for Epic. He’s been playing guitar since he was 9, and started performing and writing songs by the time he was 12. His new solo record, Masterwish, has just been released.


SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 13TH AT 5PM Jack Mortensen is an 18 year old musician, performer and songwriter from Tigard, Oregon, who has performed at venues including the House of Blues in Chicago, Webster Hall in New York City, and on stage at Lollapalooza in 2014. His influences from classic rock to modern R&B can be found throughout his first release, Interceptor, which features seven original songs, with lyrics and music written and composed by Mortensen.

FEBRUARY 20TH, 2016 IS THE 5TH ANNUAL BRING YOUR KIDS TO MUSIC MILLENNIUM DAY! kid friendly performances | free gift bags for first 200 customers under 18

TUESDAY, FEB. 2 Mike Gordon

[GONE PHISHIN’] Having taken the bass for walks with main band Phish for more than 30 years now, Mike Gordon is nothing if not accomplished. When he’s not playing with the immensely adored Vermont jam band, Gordon busies himself with a variety of side projects, most notably with longtime collaborators Scott Murawski and Craig Myers. Gordon’s fourth solo effort, Overstep, is a selfdescribed “simplified” album. While it touches on rock, funk and the playfulness expected of a full-time Phish member, the record is more structured than those from his other gig, which likes to stretch songs out close to the one-hour mark. MARK STOCK. Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside St., 2250047. 8 pm. $30 advance, $35 day of show. All ages.

Julia Holter, Circuit Des Yeux

[ORCHESTRAL POP ] Julia Holter’s fourth and latest album, Have You In My Wilderness, is her most accessible, full of dreamy melodies that make you feel like you’re in a Zelda game or an indie movie set on a sailboat in Denmark and clear, articulate vocals, accented with a Nordic twang. While her music is often classified as electronic, synthetic sounds are only second to Holter’s multi-instrumental skills—she plays keyboard, organ, harpsichord and drums—and even with the weight of the organ and cacophony of horns, which at times evokes Neutral Milk Hotel, Holter manages to keep her voice at the center, remaining playful and airy. SOPHIA JUNE. Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison St., 239-7639. 8:30 pm Tuesday, Feb. 2. $12 in advance, $15 day of show. 21+.

CLASSICAL, WORLD & JAZZ Chamber Music Northwest Winter Festival

[CLASSICAL REMASTERS] Tired of presenting the same old classical masterpieces over and over? You could do something forward-looking like, say, programming some of today’s electrifying new contemporary classical sounds. Or you could present rearrangements of the classics. Chamber Music Northwest’s annual winter festival brings many of the veteran New York classical players back from its annual summer festival, plus local and other guest musicians, to play six varied concerts featuring reworkings of familiar classics. On Jan. 27, CelloPointe marries classical music and dance, with one new piece by Puerto Rican composer Roberto Sierra. The next day, Mozart Rearranged features later arrangements of the composer’s music for wind ensemble. Peter Serkin and Julia Hsu then play classics by Beethoven, Brahms and others in arrangements for two pianos. Other concerts present arrangements of Brahms, Debussy, Ravel, Johann Strauss and Arnold Schoenberg. BRETT CAMPBELL. Multiple venues beginning Wednesday, Jan 27. See for complete schedule and ticket information.

Catherine Lee, Matt Hannafin

[INTUITIVE IMPROV] Composer and oboist Catherine Lee is also an experienced improviser and performer on the archaic oboe d’amore, an obsolete instrument that imbued Baroque music with a special piquancy. Percussionist Matt Hannafin studied with legendary Indian vocalist Pran Nath, minimalist pioneer La Monte Young, Iranian percussion master Kavous Shirzadian, to name a few, and collaborated with improvisers in jazz and various global and electronic music traditions. The duo will try to re-create the magic of their spacious new, entirely improvised album, Five Shapes, copies of which will be given to all audience members. The show opens with solo sets by two other Portland avant-garde musicians, Branic Howard and Loren Chasse, and flutist-improviser John C. Savage

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Willamette Week JANUARY 27, 2016





Marlon Williams MONDAY, FEB. 1

Country music isn’t limited by geography. It’s a folk-rooted style built of traditional instruments and tried-andtrue techniques, but it is by no means anchored to them. Just ask musician Marlon Williams. Country gallops across the American backcountry but can swim the spans of entire oceans, too—all the way to Williams’ native New Zealand. “Country music is made up of a banjo from Africa and Maori island singers, you know? It’s just another steeple on the path of musical extension,” Williams says from the airport, en route to his latest international tour. “It’s been in America for the last 60 to 100 years, but it doesn’t just come out of nowhere. It doesn’t rise from the American soil like some national bird.” Williams, 25, grew up in Lyttelton, a tiny port town about halfway down the South Island of New Zealand. A product of the highly musical and indigenous Maori culture, Williams has rhythm and harmony flowing through his bloodstream. “My dad was always playing music, so I was exposed to a lot at the house,” he says. “My mom was a painter, so she always had a lot of music playing while she was working.” Stints with the local choir and a nearby Christchurch cathedral ensemble polished Williams’ vocal delivery. He sang through hangovers and a general indifference toward spirituality. He tried college, contemplated opera singing, then dropped out. He dove into his father’s sprawling country music collection. By 16, Williams was covering the Beatles at a local bar and getting shouts for encores. Over the next eight years, Williams carved out a devoted following with his band, the Unfaithful Ways, playing 200-plus gigs a year and winning a handful of New Zealand music awards amid shadowcasting names like Lorde and Kimbra. He would try Melbourne after the 2011 Christchurch earthquake, only to return to his beloved island to write himself into the canon of masterful young musicians. Williams wrote his self-titled debut in two weeks—impressive, given the level of deftness and sensitivity to tradition that’s at play. It’s music that is influenced but not governed by American country music traditions. Roy Orbison, Elvis and Gram Parsons can be heard on the surface, but there are also nods to ’70s balladeers, Rat Pack crooners, even Pacific Islands folk. The potency and layering of vocals is a byproduct of old Maori songs, while the ability to arrest listeners with just a guitar and voice is in the vein of Polynesian folksmiths. Many of the album’s tracks are so dazzling you begin to wonder if you should take note of where you were and what you were doing when you first heard them. The versatile Williams seems to play a new role with each song, stepping into character and “inhabiting” the track, as he says. Whether it’s grieving parents in “Dark Child,” or an ale-loving girl in “When I Was a Young Girl,” Williams expresses the sincerity of a method actor. “It’s about communication,” he says. “I understand the Kiwi sensibilities, and when you are talking about something as sensitive and subtle as making music, having the need for communication is pretty important, especially for your first solo album.” MARK STOCK. The next big thing in American roots music is from New Zealand.

SEE IT: Marlon Williams and the Yarra Benders play Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., with Shelley Short, on Monday, Feb. 1. 8 pm. $12 advance, $14 day of show. 21+.


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Willamette Week JANUARY 27, 2016





Eight Bells

LANDLESS (Battleground) [DYNAMIC DOOM] It would be easy to call Eight Bells Portland’s answer to Salt Lake City’s well-loved doom act SubRosa. But while the bands share similarities—soaring, clean vocals punching through an aura of swirling melancholy—on sophomore record Landless, Eight Bells bring a distinctive voice to the Northwestern doom sound. Frontwoman Melynda Jackson, formerly of San Francisco prog rockers SubArachnoid Space, is no slouch on the guitar. Where lesser songwriters would have over-noodled, Jackson brings restraint to her angular leads on “Hating” and “Hold My Breath,” which are as much power-pop leads as esoteric metal riffs. Speaking of which, the rhythm section knows when to stomp on the gas. The title track and the album’s closer, “Touch Me,” have galloping third movements that breathe life into their introspective fog. With a strong, distinct voice, tight runtime and excellent songwriting chops, Landless sounds like a strong contender for the best metal album— Portland or otherwise—of the usually slow first quarter of 2016. WALKER MACMURDO. SEE IT: Eight Bells play High Water Mark, 6800 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., with Jamais Jamais and Nest, on Thursday, Jan. 28. 9 pm. $10. 21+.

New Move

NEW MOVE (Bug Hunt) [POP OF AGES] Jesse Bettis knows how to get inside your head. A high-order pop technician, he builds songs using only the finest parts, rummaged from the universal pleasure chest of 20th-century sounds—the Beatles and Beach Boys, doo-wop and glam rock—and refinished with modern production gloss. Whether that makes him a well-studied classicist or a historical scavenger depends on how much innovation you demand of your songwriters, but you can’t come away from New Move’s debut full-length without at least a few tunes tunneling through your heart and burrowing into your brain. It hums like a classic car, and in some cases like the Cars—the fizzy “No One But Her” even nicks a melodic phrase from “My Best Friend’s Girl.” “Stegosaurus” is more T. Rex, the heated guitar acting as Bettis’ wingman as he asks to “taste your honeydew,” while “Don’t Wanna Lose” is a master class in soul-pop buoyancy, all plinking keys and horn accents and sweet falsetto. While the music itself, colored by an ace five-piece band, has personality plus, Bettis’ own tends to get lost in the songcraft. But it’s hard not to admire his ambition. “When did we stop aiming for the top?” he sings on the ’50s-style slow-dance “When Did We Stop.” That’s not a problem for Bettis, though: He reaches for his idols, and damn near touches them. MATTHEW SINGER. SEE IT: New Move plays Rontoms, 600 E Burnside St., with Lola Buzzkill, on Sunday, Jan. 31. 8:30 pm. Free. 21+.


BREAK (Curly Cassettes) [SURF ROCK] Charts make it pretty clear what they’re up to on their debut full-length, Break. Palm trees adorn the album cover. One song is called “Fake Vacation.” Plus, they make sure to inform you on their Bandcamp that although they’ve waited until the dead of winter for the release, the album was actually recorded live two summers ago. With all those signifiers, Break delivers the kind of riotous surf pop you’d expect. Michael Rowan, who writes all the songs, sings in a reverb-soaked, faraway voice, and the rhythm section chugs along with danceable beats. Despite the fact that Charts have no ambition to reinvent the genre (why should they?), they don’t hesitate to mix up the formula now and again, throwing in some welcomed jamming at the end of “Low Expectations,” rocking it up on “Help You Out” and slowing things down a bit for “How Did You Get So Mean.” Charts may be just another drop of seawater in the vast ocean of Portland’s surfpop scene, but Breaks is still a pretty good beach vacation, fake or not. SHANNON GORMLEY. SEE IT: Charts play Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison St., with Souvenir Driver and Fog Father, on Thursday, Jan. 28. 8:30 pm. $6. 21+. 44

Willamette Week JANUARY 27, 2016




Julia Holter plays Holocene on Tuesday, Feb. 2. joins Hannafin and Lee in one of John Cage’s final 20th-century classics, the haunting “Ryoanji,” inspired by Kyoto’s famous rock and sand garden and conjured from flute, stones, percussion and chance. BRETT CAMPBELL. Redeemer Lutheran Church, 5431 NE 20th Ave. 7:30 pm Wednesday, Jan 27. $5-$15. All ages.

Thara Memory and Bobby Torres Present “Harlem in Havana”

[MICHAEL JAZZSON] Now’s your chance to hear “Thriller” with some clave! Trumpeter and educator Thara Memory and legendary percussionist Bobby Torres cannibalize and combine orchestras for the evening, focusing their energies on perfect south-of-the-border interpretations of Michael Jackson’s pop hits. This isn’t hotel lobby music: expect soaring horn solos, grooving rhythms and stacked vocal harmonies. With most longtime MJ fans singing the praises of Quincy Jones—and most longtime jazz fans singing the praises of Jackson—the show should be original enough to please both camps, even if nobody on stage can moonwalk. PARKER HALL. Jimmy Mak’s, 221 NW 10th Ave., 295-6542. 7:30 pm Friday, Jan 29. $20 general admission, $25 reserved seating. Under 21 permitted until 9:30 pm.

Chris Botti and the Oregon Symphony [SMOOTH LIKE BUTTER] In the 1980s, Portland created a fair share of smooth-jazz royalty. Case in point: Trumpeter Chris Botti, a genre-straddling Grammy winner. Fact is, more of Portland should embrace him, because the secret about Botti is that he can really, truly burn on the trumpet. Before selling out concert halls playing sultry versions of “My Funny Valentine,” Botti worked with heavy hitters like Woody Shaw, earning two NEA grants in the process. So while this show with the symphony might be chock-full of snoozers, at least you know there’s a real horn player in there—something you’d be hard-pressed to say about Kenny G. PARKER HALL. Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall, 1037 SW Broadway, 228-1353. 7:30 pm Saturday, Jan. 30. $35-$95. All ages.

Roomful of Teeth

[VOCAL EXPLORERS] Roomful of Teeth is the most exciting thing to happen to contemporary classical music in years. Using all kinds of extended vocal techniques, many drawn from various global musical cultures, the Grammy-winning vocal ensemble created a colorful new palette for some of today’s finest young composers to exploit. One of them, RoT member Caroline Shaw, became the youngest-ever Pulitzer Prize winner for music in 2013 for her Partita for Eight Voices. On Friday, the group will improvise musical responses to an exhibition of abstract paintings by regional artists at Marylhurst’s Art Gym. Saturday’s concert, at St. Anne’s Chapel, also includes Marylhurst and Lane Community College choirs, and features Shaw’s award-win-

ner and more dynamic 21st-century music for voices. BRETT CAMPBELL. The Art Gym and St. Anne’s Chapel at Marylhurst University, 7600 Pacific Highway, 699-6263. 7:30 pm Saturday, Jan. 30. $20. All ages.

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Third Angle New Music

[REICHOUS CLASSICS] Steve Reich tops any list of greatest living composers. One of the pioneers of the musical minimalism that revolutionized 20th-century music, the New York legend has been the subject of four previous concerts by Portland’s Third Angle new music ensemble. This one includes not just members of the Oregon Symphony’s percussion section but one of the most accomplished of today’s contemporary music ensembles, New York’s So Percussion, which has worked with Reich often, sometimes even surpassing his own original band’s interpretations of his music. BRETT CAMPBELL. Montgomery Park, 2701 NW Vaughn St., 331-0301. 7:30 pm. $35. All ages.


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Mike Horsfall and Rebecca Kilgore

[SING-SONGS] Local vocalist Rebecca Kilgore has made quite the career of being unnoticed. A master of the American songbook, with a round voice that sounds like it’s projecting right out of a 1940s jukebox, the Oregon Music Hall of Fame inductee has been called the “greatest singer you’ve never heard of” by The Wall Street Journal. A torchbearer for the classic vocal numbers of a bygone era, she is joined at the Old Church by pianist-arranger Mike Horsfall, himself among the most underrated performers in town. PARKER HALL. The Old Church, 1422 SW 11th Ave., 803-6351. 2 pm Sunday, Jan 31. $12. All ages.

Brooklyn Rider with Gabriel Kahane

[SINGER & STRINGS] Separately, singer-composer Gabriel Kahane and Brooklyn Rider have made a couple of allegedly dated genres (sensitive singer-songwriter and string quartet, respectively) hip again. In its decadelong run, the adventurous Brooklyn Rider has worked with everyone from jazz giants Bill Frisell and Joshua Redman to Béla Fleck and Wilco’s Glenn Kotche. Kahane, who won notoriety for his wry Craigslistlieder a while back, really hit his stride with the deft musical sketches of the people and places of his L.A. hometown in 2014’s The Ambassador. Along with material from each of their respective 2014 albums and Schubert’s “Rosamunde” quartet, this show includes two works from their just-released collaboration, The Fiction Issue, including a “deconstruction” of Kahane’s song “Bradbury” and a setting of Matthew Zapruder texts, Come on All You Ghosts. BRETT CAMPBELL. Newmark Theatre, 1111 SW Broadway, 800-273-1530. 7:30 pm Tuesday, Feb. 2. $25.50-$45.50. All ages.

For more Music listings, visit Willamette Week JANUARY 27, 2016


MUSIC CALENDAR WED. JAN. 27 WED. JAN. 27 Alberta Street Pub 1036 NE Alberta St Harlowe

Goodfoot Pub & Lounge

Ponderosa Lounge

High Water Mark Lounge

Roseland Theater


6800 NE MLK Ave Eight Bells, Jamais Jamais, Nest


225 SW Ash Bitter Buddha

1001 SE Morrison St Charts, Souvenir Driver, Fog Father


Jade Lounge

Ash Street Saloon


Doug Fir Lounge

830 E Burnside St. Chicano Batman, The Verner Pantons

Duffs Garage

2530 NE 82nd Ave Arthur Moore, Blues Jam


2126 S. W. Halsey ST. Gideon Freudmann

Goodfoot Pub & Lounge




Jade Lounge

2348 SE Ankeny Mathew Zeltzer Hosts

Justa Pasta

1336 NW 19th Ave Anson Wright Duo

McMenamins Al’s Den 303 SW 12th Ave Samantha Crain

Redeemer Lutheran Church 5431 NE 20th Ave. Catherine Lee, Matt Hannafin

Revolution Hall

1300 SE Stark St #110 Ladysmith Black Mambazo

The Liquor Store

3341 SE Belmont THE CRY! + Fuzzy Dice + Golden Handcuffs

Winningstad Theatre

1111 SW Broadway CelloPointe: The Magic of Music and Dance

THURS. JAN. 28 Aladdin Theater

3017 SE Milwaukie Ave Jesse Cook

Alberta Rose Theatre

3000 NE Alberta St Chamber Music Northwest - Mozart Rearranged

Alberta Rose Theatre 3000 NE Alberta St Mozart Rearranged

Alberta Street Pub 1036 NE Alberta St

Ash Street Saloon 225 SW Ash Noise Complaint

Ash Street Saloon 225 SW Ash Stone Sky

Doug Fir Lounge

830 E Burnside St. Punk Goes Acoustic Extravaganza

Duffs Garage

2530 NE 82nd Ave Rule of Motion; Zydeco Jam


2126 S. W. Halsey ST. Tony Smiley

2348 SE Ankeny Pacific Oceans with host Colin Fisher

Kelly’s Olympian

426 SW Washington St Focus Focus, Northern Youth, Mount Joy

Kennedy School Gymnasium

5736 N.E. 33rd Ave. Eagleheart Music Presents: Tony EagleHeart Garcia

LaurelThirst Public House 2958 NE Glisan St Lewi Longmire & the Left Coast Roasters

The Secret Society

116 NE Russell St Thursday Swing! Featuring Doug & Dee’s Hot Lovin’ Jazz Babies, Stumptown Swing

The White Eagle 836 N Russell St The Organ Trail

Vie de Boheme 1530 SE 7th Ave Paula Byrne Trio

FRI. JAN. 29 Alberta Street Pub

1036 NE Alberta St The Moonshine and Their Rainy Day Friends

Ash Street Saloon 225 SW Ash Dead Last Place

6835 S.W Macadam Plastic Shadow

Club 21

2035 NE Glisan S Smoke Rings, Steel Chains, The Furies


350 West Burnside KUNG FU

Doug Fir Lounge

830 E Burnside St Saintseneca, Des Ark, Haley Heynderickx

Duffs Garage

2530 NE 82nd Ave Soul Commanders


2126 S. W. Halsey ST. Jonah Luke

Hawthorne Theatre

1507 SE 39th Azizi Gibson , Kamandi

Jade Lounge

2348 SE Ankeny The Julians

Jimmy Mak’s

8635 N Lombard St Mr. Musu & Happy Fun Ball

Sun Gate Center

2215 NE Alberta Okaidja and Shokoto in Concert

The Evergreen

618 SE Alder St. Will Clarke, Billy Kennedy

The Firkin Tavern

1937 SE 11th Ave When We Met + The Welfare State + Portland Nights

The Know

2026 NE Alberta St BEHAVIOR

The Secret Society

116 NE Russell St Pete Krebs and his Portland Playboys with The Cat’s Meow

The Secret Society

116 NE Russell St Us Lights, Lael Alderman, Del Phoena, The Local Strangers at The Secret Society

The White Eagle

836 N Russell St World Beat Music Night

Vie de Boheme

1530 SE 7th Ave The Djangophiles

Walters Cultural Arts Center 527 East Main St. Rabbit Wilde

Wonder Ballroom

128 NE Russell St Talib Kweli and DJ Hi Tek

SAT. JAN. 30 1036 NE Alberta St Beach Fire

Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall

1037 SW Broadway Chris Botti and the Oregon Symphony

Ash Street Saloon 225 SW Ash Dead Remedy

Bossanova Ballroom 722 E Burnside St Stephen Pearcy

Bunk Bar

1028 SE Water Ave Godheadsilo


350 West Burnside THE SLANTS

Doug Fir Lounge

830 E Burnside St. Jessica Lea Mayfield

Duffs Garage

2530 NE 82nd Ave Big Bad Beat

Kelly’s Olympian

1507 SE César E. Chávez. Blvd. Powerman 5000, Knee High Fox, Toxic Zombie, Emissary Echo, Particle Son

1620 SW Park Ave Tailored for Two: Peter Serkin and Julia Hsu

Marylhurst University 7600 Pacific Highway Roomful of Teeth

Mississippi Studios

Willamette Week JANUARY 27, 2016

PRETTY UGLY: Politeness got thrown out the window 10 minutes into Ty Segall and the Muggers’ show at the Aladdin Theater on Jan. 23. “Down with utopia!” Segall shouted, before the band ripped into “Diversion” and he spit a giant loogie into the crowd. For one night, the dream of rock ’n’ roll—the debauched, hairy, unneutered version—was alive in Portland. Nearly every aspect of the show defied the city’s usual concert etiquette. Segall and his all-star backing band didn’t take the stage until after 11:30 pm, and tore through all of new album Emotional Mugger from front to back, reveling in every sharp blast of guitar fuzz, droning keyboard line and throaty sing-along. The mix was so loud it still hurt with earplugs in, and the crowd was raucous from the start, moshing in defiance to the security guards’ attempts to keep everyone in front of the stage from spilling out into the aisle. The show perfectly fit the aesthetic of the chaotic and unhinged Emotional Mugger. Segall relished his turn in the spotlight, forgoing guitar duties to stalk the stage as a manic frontman, complete with frequent leaps into the crowd and turns writhing onstage as the band summoned molten lava out of their instruments. During “Squealer Two,” bassist Mikal Cronin disappeared from the stage and returned a few seconds later with a saxophone, blaring strange notes, as the Muggers did their best cocaine-Bowie strut. Segall was clearly having more fun than anyone else. At the end of the night, he took to introducing the group, calling guitarist Kyle Thomas of King Tuff “tangerine dream” and Cronin “booty bass.” Down with utopia, indeed. MICHAEL MANNHEIMER.

Alberta Street Pub


Lincoln Performance Hall


Slim’s Cocktail Bar & Restaurant

221 NW 10th Ave. Thara Memory and Bobby Torres Present “Harlem in Havana” 426 SW Washington St Ladywolf, Wave Action, Wett Nurse, Marcy’s Band

[JAN. 27-FEB. 2]

8 NW 6th Ave. Infected Mushroom

Buffalo Gap

3939 N Mississippi Ave The Lavender Flu


10210 North Vancouver Way Nash Brothers

For more listings, check out

E M I LY j O A N g R E E N E

= WW Pick. Highly recommended.

Editor: Matthew Singer. TO HAVE YOUR EVENT LISTED, send show information at least two weeks in advance on the web at submitevents. Press kits, CDs and especially vinyl can be sent to Music Desk, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Please include show or release date information with all physical mailings. Email:

2126 S. W. Halsey ST. Moody Little Sister

Hawthorne Theatre

Jade Lounge

2348 SE Ankeny Brian Bayes

Jimmy Mak’s

221 NW 10th Ave Jarrod Lawson & The Good People

Kaul Auditorium

3203 S.E. Woodstock Blvd

Brahms Revisited

Kempton Hall, Trinity Episcopal Cathedral 147 NW 19th Ave. Love, Interrupted

Lovecraft Bar

421 SE Grand Ave Malekko

Montgomery Park

2701 NW Vaughn St. Third Angle New Music

Revolution Hall

1300 SE Stark St #110 Unknown Mortal Orchestra with Lower Dens

Roseland Theater

8 NW 6th Ave. The Wood Brothers, Liz Vice

St Anne’s Chapel, Marylhurst

17600 Pacific Highway or PO Box 261 Roomful of Teeth

St. Michael and All Angels Church

1704 NE 43rd Ave. ViVoce Winter Concert

Star Theater

13 NW 6th Ave TYLER STENSON & The Black Winged Birds: A Portland Tribute to Counting Crows

The Blue Room

8145 SE 82nd Ave Somerset Meadows

The Firkin Tavern

The Git Rights Gospel Revue, Roselit Bone, The Redeemed; The Tickled Pinks

The White Eagle

836 N Russell St Rubella Graves; Woodensleepers, The Lonesomes, & Shelby Farrar and the Hits

Turn Turn Turn

8 NE Killingsworth St The Toads, Rilla, Kulululu

Vie de Boheme

1530 SE 7th Ave Dina y Los Rumberos

SUN. JAN. 31 Alberta Street Pub 1036 NE Alberta St Scott Brockett Trio

Analog Cafe & Theater 720 SE Hawthorne Blvd Ballyhoo! w/ Steady Riot!

Ash Street Saloon 225 SW Ash We The Wild

Bunk Bar

1028 SE Water Ave Godheadsilo


2126 S. W. Halsey ST. The Resolectrics

Hawthorne Theatre

1507 SE 39th Nile, Season of Suffering, Chronological Injustice, World Of Lies, Boudica

The Secret Sea / Eleanor Murray / Egg Plant

Pranksters Big Band

Lincoln Performance Hall

128 NE Russell St. Godspeed You! Black Emperor

1620 SW Park Ave Camerata PYP

McMenamins Al’s Den 303 SW 12th Ave Chris Couch of World’s Finest

Mississippi Studios

3939 N Mississippi Ave Eagle Rock Gospel Singers


8145 SE 82nd Ave. Bill Coones Trio - Swing and Jazz Standards Band

The Historic Old Church 1422 SW 11th Ave Moonshadow Dance

The Know

2026 NE Alberta St DOVECOTES

The Old Church

1422 SW 11th Ave. Mike Horsfall and Rebecca Kilgore

The White Eagle

The Secret Society

Kelly’s Olympian

Vie de Boheme

426 SW Washington St

836 N Russell St Jeffrey Martin 1530 SE 7th Ave

Crystal Ballroom

1332 W Burnside St. Mike Gordon

Crystal Ballroom

Duffs Garage

1332 W Burnside St Granger Smith feat. Earl Dibbles Jr.

2126 S. W. Halsey ST. Skip vonKueske’s Cellotronik

The Blue Room Bar

225 SW Ash The Broad Strokes

Doug Fir Lounge

1036 NE Alberta St Mommy Monday

Sun Gate Center

2215 NE Alberta Singing is the Healing Medicine: Raga Singing and Vocal Cultivation with Michael Stirling

TUES. FEB. 2 Ash Street Saloon

Alberta Street Pub


Jade Lounge

116 NE Russell St


600 E Burnside St RONTOMS SUNDAY SESSIONS: New Move, Lola Buzzkill

1937 SE 11th Ave The Lovely Lost //Drunk On Pines//Child Speak

2348 SE Ankeny Steve Greenwood

Wonder Ballroom

350 West Burnside Karaoke From Hell


Hawthorne Theatre

1507 SE César E. Chávez Blvd. Warbringer, Enforcer, Cauldron, Exmortus, Excruciator, Gladius


1001 SE Morrison St The Soft Moon

Jade Lounge

2348 SE Ankeny Fourth Tuesdays with Edward Cohen & Friends

Mississippi Studios

3939 N Mississippi Ave Marlon Williams, Shelley Short

Panic Room


830 E Burnside St Emily King

2530 NE 82nd Ave 9 out of 10


2126 S. W. Halsey ST. The Old Yellers


1001 SE Morrison St Julia Holter

Jade Lounge

2348 SE Ankeny Mathew Fountain and the Whereabouts

LaurelThirst Public House 2958 NE Glisan St Jackstraw

Newmark Theatre

1111 SW Broadway Brooklyn Rider with Gabriel Kahane

The Liquor Store 3341 SE Belmont Hart and Hare

The White Eagle 836 N Russell St Perry Gerber

MUSIC Where to drink this week. 1. Great Notion Brewing

2204 NE Alberta St., No. 101, 548-4491, greatnotionpdx. Great Notion offers something Alberta has never seen: a solid beer bar, with its own house brews filling the taps with a pleasantly yeasty fruit-spiked saison and a triplex of IPAs.



2. Ben’s Bottle Shop

8052 E Mill Plain Blvd., Vancouver, 360-314-6209, If you live in Portland’s far Northeast, your best bet for good beer may be in Vancouver—in part because some beers don’t distribute to Oregon. The newly opened Ben’s is a sports bar with massive screens, 24 taps of craft brews, and cases of beer bottles that stretch for yards.

3. Home

719 SE Morrison St., 896-2771. The deeply un-Googleable Home has opened in the old Morrison Hotel space with a well-chosen tap list and a seriously meaty short-rib poutine on waffle fries.

4. Skyline Tavern

8031 NW Skyline Blvd., 286-4788, Skyline Tavern’s clientele goes like this: millionaire, poor person, construction worker, millionaire. It might as well be a Depression-era painting from the Federal Art Project.

5. Saraveza

1004 N Killingsworth St., 206-4252, Saraveza’s new house Wisconsin-themed beer, the Breakside-brewed Wisco Tavern, is a smooth cream ale that comes alive with a sprinkle of hoppy bitterness. “Froth and bitterness” is, of course, also the motto for Green Bay’s season.

CORNER POCKET: In the beginning, there was Slice. No, not the Slice that’s in the Zipper complex on Northeast Sandy, though if you ask the former owners they’ll probably tell you that’s part of the problem. Apparently, Northeast Portland isn’t big enough to support two generically named pizzerias. And so, the Slice formerly located on a rather innocuous strip of a mostly residential ’hood, wedged next to a convenience store, dry cleaner, boutique clothing store and coffee shop, is now The Pocket Pub (2719 NE 7th Ave., 287-3645, Owners Kara Lammerman and Jennifer Cale clearly have modest intentions, but when you’re working with a space the size of a studio apartment, “dreaming big” isn’t a realistic option. You can take in the entirety of the bar from the doorway, and it looks almost unchanged from its previous iteration—they even kept the pizza oven. If you didn’t know better, you might think Slice just shifted its focus. But that slight pivot makes all the difference. Boise-Eliot has bars, but nothing that fills that narrow niche between blue-collar dive and something slightly more high-end. The neighborhood has food, but you’re not going to Ox for a casual weeknight dinner. The Pocket Pub splits every difference. Cocktails are simple and fruity, the beer list is slight but won’t insult snobs, and the pizza—12-inch pies, from margherita to blackened fennel, topping out at $15—is a respite from the grease bombs at Sparky’s. It’s middle-class but not stuffy, as comfortable as your living room, and just what the area needed. MATTHEW SINGER.

SAT. JAN. 30 Analog Cafe & Theater

720 SE Hawthorne Blvd ANDAZ Bhangra Bollywood Dance with DJ Anjali and The Incredible Kid

WED. JAN. 27 Dig A Pony

736 SE Grand Ave HOLLA ‘N OATES (shoutsraps, dad rock)

Lovecraft Bar

421 SE Grand Ave Psychopomp w/ Ogo Eion

Plew’s Brew’s

8409 N Lombard St Wiggle Room (electronica, house, hip-hop, downtempo)

THURS. JAN. 28 Dig A Pony

736 SE Grand Ave VOID (oldies, R&B)

Lovecraft Bar

421 SE Grand Ave Shadowplay (EBM, goth, industrial, darkwave)

The Liquor Store

3341 SE Belmont Wake The Town (bass, hiphop, reggae)

FRI. JAN. 29 Dig A Pony

736 SE Grand Ave BOBBY D (funk, electro, boogie)

Euphoria Nightclub 315 SE 3rd Ave LOUIS FUTON

Goodfoot Pub & Lounge

2845 SE Stark St SOUL STEW with DJ AQUAMAN AND FRIENDS (funk, soul, disco, breakbeats)


1001 SE Morrison St Dr. Adam (hip-hop, house, R&B, remixes)

Lovecraft Bar

421 SE Grand Ave DJ Grim Ripper

Dig A Pony

736 SE Grand Ave J PREZ (disco, electro, funk)

Euphoria Nightclub 315 SE 3rd Ave FEENIXPAWL

Goodfoot Pub & Lounge

2845 SE Stark St Get On Up with DJs Takimba and Firie (hip-hop, house, G-funk, remixes)


1001 SE Morrison St Main Squeeze with DJs Kiffo & Rymes (house, techno, disco)

The Know

2026 NE Alberta St Something I’m Proud Of with DJs Rap Class and Tyler Tastemaker

SUN. JAN. 31 Dig A Pony

736 SE Grand Ave Dear Mama Present Dig A Pony’s “Do Right Sunday” (rap, electro, R&B)

Lovecraft Bar

421 SE Grand Ave DJ Moon Mirror

MON. FEB. 1 Lovecraft Bar

421 SE Grand Ave DJ Cory (rockin’ Dokken)

Lovecraft Bar

421 SE Grand Ave DJ Cupcake

TUES. FEB. 2 Lovecraft Bar

421 SE Grand Ave BONES w/ DJ Aurora

The Liquor Store

3341 SE Belmont Grilled Cheese Disco (house/ techno)

Willamette Week JANUARY 27, 2016


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Willamette Week JANUARY 27, 2016

PERFORMANCE = WW Pick. Highly recommended. Most prices listed are for advance ticket sales. At-the-door increases and so-called convenience charges may apply, so it’s best to call ahead.

Fertile Ground 2016

It’s the biggest theater festival in town—a 35-venue theater takeover of Portland that’s both a preview of the season to come and a chance for unknown artists to be seen by broader audiences. Fertile Ground productions are marked with a sprout icon.Through Jan. 31. Festival pass $50, individual ticket prices vary. Visit for details.

OPENINGS & PREVIEWS The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee

Six awkward tweens vie for first place in what’s become American pop culture’s most famous spelling bee. Annie Kaiser directs, reaching for another Drammy nod, and the adult cast is mainly children’s theater veterans, or newcomers making the jump from Lake Oswego’s small Lakewood Theatre. Broadway Rose Theatre, 12850 SW Grant Ave., Tigard, 620-5262. 7:30 pm Thursday-Saturday, 2 pm Saturday-Sunday, through Feb. 28. $20-$44.

Pilot Season: Explorers of the Quantum Doorway

Every year, Action/Adventure hosts four aspiring playwrights for four weekends of four brand new shows. The audience favorite wins a full run. Three scientists explore an alien planet in Benja Barker’s Explorers of the Quantum Doorway, a beat-the-clock caper—if they can’t finish their mission before the portal to space closes, the heroes risk being stuck in space forever. Action/Adventure Theatre, 1050 SE Clinton St. 8 pm ThursdaySunday, Jan. 28-31. $12.


Five episodic dance pieces featuring live electric guitar, accordion, feudal horn and kalimba music explore the idea of displacement by moving all around the Conduit studio, forcing the audience to displace itself. SOPHIA JUNE. Conduit Dance, 2505 SE 11th Ave., No. 120, 221-5857. 6 pm Saturday-Sunday, Jan. 30-31. $15..

ALSO PLAYING The Adventures of Dex Dixon: Paranormal Dick

In what essentially mirrors the plot of Who Framed Roger Rabbit? but with ghouls instead of ‘toons, The Adventures of Dex Dixon follows the washedup titular detective as he attempts to unravel a plot to throw open the rift between Our Fair City and paranormal dimension, Night Side. Portland writer and performance vet Steve Coker (Grimm, Leverage, Varsity Cheerleader Werewolves Live From Outer Space) retools his original screenplay into the musical noir comedy with moderate success. PENELOPE BASS. Brunish Theater, 1111 SW Broadway. 7:30 pm Thursday-Friday and 2 pm SaturdaySunday, Jan. 28-31. $25.

American Atlas

The trials of a marriage between a Japanese-American man and a Brazilian woman get mined for laughs in this one-man comedy about navigating touchy cultural differences. SOPHIA JUNE. Artists Repertory Theatre, 1515 SW Morrison St., 241-1278. Noon Wednesday, Jan. 27. Free.

Baba Yaga

An old crone who lives in a house on chicken legs tells three traditional

Russian fairy tales in this one-woman show, created as a senior thesis by Lewis & Clark student Sam Reiter. The fables are backed by shadow puppets and infused with Reiter’s passion for everything Russian, and the play is a sympathetic look an often-demonized, old-lady character. “I wanted to know—how did she get to be that way?” said Reiter, who thought up the show while studying abroad at the Moscow Art Theatre. The Headwaters Theatre, 55 NE Farragut St., No. 9, 289-3499. 8 pm WednesdayThursday, through Jan. 28. $10.

The Big One

The July 2015 New Yorker article, “The Really Big One,” shocked the Pacific Northwest. Shoba Satya’s play explores what it means to live in Oregon when we could be destroyed at any moment. Cerimon House, 5131 NE 23rd Ave., 307-9599. 8 pm Wednesday-Thursday, Jan. 27-28. $10.

Business as Usual & Forethought: Four Short Plays

Think Office Space. In Michael Josef’s play. Forethought includes short plays about everything from a nerd trying to talk to girls to a mad sculptor in a night of staged readings by PDX Playwrights. SOPHIA JUNE. Hipbone Studio, 1847 E Burnside St., No. 104, 358-0898. 8 pm Sunday, Jan. 31. $10.

A Cavalcade of Awesome! Untitled Detective Story

Action/Adventure’s Aubrey Jessen and Greta West workshop their noir about a lday detective, which will be fully produced in the spring. SOPHIA JUNE. Action/Adventure Theatre, 1050 SE Clinton St. 2 pm Saturday-Sunday, Jan. 30-31. $10.

Crackin’ the Code: A Comedy of Questionable Morals

When a friend’s ex-wife comes on to the Bill, he struggles with a dilemma that’s not so easily solved as, “bros before hoes.” He’s stuck navigating the treacherous waters of friendship, romance and guy code in this romantic comedy. SOPHIA JUNE. Artists Repertory Theatre, 1515 SW Morrison St., 241-1278. Noon Friday, Jan. 29. Free.

Family Hardware

A man who’s too unhealthy to have sex with his wife agrees to let her see a hired escort—who he happens to already know. Presented as a staged reading by PDX Playwrights. SOPHIA JUNE. Hipbone Studio, 1847 E Burnside St., No. 104, 358-0898. 7 pm Friday, Jan. 29, and 6 pm Sunday, Jan. 31. $10.

Golden Boy

In this 1937 Broadway classic by Clifford Odets, Joe seems golden as a violin prodigy, until the glamour of the ring ropes him in. Lakewood Center for the Arts, 368 S State St., Lake Oswego, 6353901. 7:30 pm Thursday-Saturday and 2 pm Sunday, through Feb. 14. $32.

Great Expectations

The downtrodden orphan Pip has the worst type of life—his brother-in-law abuses him and a convict threatens to kill him—but things change when an anonymous benefactor puts him down as their heir. PCS is borrowing the adaptation and director from Seattle, where Book-It Repertory Theatre premiered the play in 2011. Gerding Theater at the Armory, 128 NW 11th Ave., 7:30 pm Tuesday-Sunday, 2 pm Saturday-Sunday, noon Thursday, Jan. 27-Feb. 14. $25-$70.

CONT. on page 50

HEY, GIRLS: Kevin Porter (left) and Demi Adejuyigbe.


drama, Backstrom? Porter: Backstrom Buddies needs to happen. It’s like House but he’s a detective, and he’s a real jerk. I think there’s just so much to be mined from a discussion of a male antihero, of the jerk who’s good at his job. That hasn’t been done enough. Adejuyigbe: Trick question. I’m subscribing to a podcast called Leveragettes, where two women discuss only the fifth season of Leverage, having never seen the first four, which aren’t set in Portland.

Two 20-something guys who recap every Gilmore Girls episode for their Gilmore Guys podcast are on their way to Portland. Girls went off the air in 2007, but the show’s Internet cache recently reached new heights thanks to Netflix picking it up for a limited series revival, and to Kevin Porter and Demi Adejuyigbe, who will record a live podcast about the episode “Let Me Hear Your Balalaikas Ringing Out!” Are you attached in any way to Portland, Maine? from season 6 at the Aladdin on Saturday. They were around first, but we have better beer. Between living in California and attending colPorter: Between the two? I’m going Portland, Orelege in Austin, the guys have a lot to bring to the gon. Is there a sketch comedy show set in Maine? I table when it comes to a geographical rivalry don’t think so. I take many allegiances with with Portland. But neither has visited [cities for their] comedy scene, like Austhe Rose City before, so WW talked tin. Kids in the Hall is the only reason with them about what they can “Portlandia I would ever consider Canada. expect during their visit, and how ruined any hope Portland might sway their affecWe heard a rumor that Michael tions. MERYL WILLLIAMS. I had of seeing Winters (the actor who played Taylor in Gilmore Girls) lives Portland as anything W W: Wa s t h e r e st r o n g around here. Are you guys demand from your listeners other than a fictional gonna see him or do anything for a live show in Portland? TV setting” else while you’re in town? Kevin Porter: I feel like there Adejuyigbe: It would be wonderwas. We look at the iTunes numful to…time permitting. bers and at what people are respondPorter: I’ve gotten recommendations for ing to on social media. We kept hearing Blue Star and a music store—I can’t remember the Portland over and over again. We always hear name, but a friend of mine, Andi Carder [of Los AngePortland and Seattle. We wanted to get the major les band the Show Ponies], goes on tour there a lot. regions of the country before the show is over, Adejuyigbe: In Dallas, I went to an escape and we only have two more seasons to go! We room with a few of the show’s listeners, and I’m gotta get these cities in when we can. starting to think that’s something I want to do in every city. Former show guest Megan Amram Let’s play some word association—what comes traveled to a bunch of escape rooms nationwide, to your mind when you think of Portland? and she bit me with the puzzle bug. Aside from Porter: “Granola” is the first word I think of. Isn’t getting in my fix of that, I want to see all the city it interesting how much Portland has been branded has to offer. Every bike store. All of the brewerby an IFC show? And who knows how accurate it is. ies. Again, I don’t know much about Portland. But Demi and I both went to school at the University of Texas at Austin, and their whole thing was But can you pick the better doughnut shop: “Keep Austin Weird.” Who was weird first? Voodoo or Blue Star? If anyone asks while Demi Adejuyigbe: Yeah, Portlandia ruined any you’re here, the answer is Blue Star. hope I had of seeing Portland as anything other Adejuyigbe: Based on website design alone, Blue than a fictional TV setting. Outside of the show. Star wins. Based on what the woman holding a gun Uh…bikes. Coffee. Modest Mouse. The Thermals. to my head says, Blue Star also wins. Maine. A sailor of some sort? Lots of TV shows are set here. Would you rather listen to a podcast recapping episodes of Grimm or of Rainn Wilson’s failed detective

SEE IT: Gilmore Guys Live: A Stars Hollow Town Meeting is at the Aladdin Theater, 3017 SE Milwaukie Ave., 234-9694. 8 pm Saturday, Jan. 30. $18. All ages. Willamette Week JANUARY 27, 2016



Editor: ENID SPITZ. Theater: ENID SPITZ ( Comedy: MIKE ACKER ( Dance: ENID SPITZ ( TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, submit information at least two weeks in advance to:

PERFORMANCE Brothers Grimm Fairy Tales come to life in the Lucky Lab Taproom, featuring an open mic for personal stories from audience members. Things get dirty. SOPHIA JUNE. Lucky Lab Taproom, 1700 N Killingsworth St., 505-9511. 7 pm Saturday, Jan. 23, Thursday, Jan. 28 and Sunday, Jan. 30. $15.

Hazardous Beauty

A black woman and a white women— both past that certain age—meet in a community college class about writing memoirs and end up on that windy path to self-discovery. Portland Abbey Arts, 7600 N Hereford Ave., 412-8899. 7:30 pm Friday-Saturday, Jan. 29-30. $8.

I Want to Destroy You

Loosely inspired by the life of Chris Burden, an artist who had a friend shoot him in the arm as part of a performance art piece, Theatre Vertigo’s play explores themes of gun ethics and education. Shoebox Theatre, 2110 SE 10th Ave., 306-0870. 7:30 pm Thursday-Sunday, Jan. 28-31 and 2 pm Sunday, Jan. 31. $20.

on to be performed off-Broadway. SOPHIA JUNE. Alberta Abbey, 126 NE Alberta St., 284-2226. 8 pm Saturday, Jan. 23 & 30. $15.

Short & Sweet

Eight plays from new PDX Playwrights members make their debut as staged readings. SOPHIA JUNE. Hipbone Studio, 1847 E Burnside St., No. 104., 358-0898. 7 pm Saturday, Jan. 30 and 3 pm Sunday, Jan. 31. $10.

Word. Voice.

Young graduates from PlayWrite’s workshop series showcase their oneacts, works in progress and spoken word performances in this free session of readings, acted by local professionals. Gerding Theater at the Armory, 128 NW 11th Ave., 445-3700. 7 pm Sunday, Jan. 31. Free.

The Yellow Wallpaper

Things get animalistic and filthy by the end of this stunning world premiere adaptation of Charlotte Perkins Gilman’s classic short story, When a new mother is prescribed a “rest cure” for nervousness and begins imagining a woman living in her wallpaper, the psychological twists roll in fast. Imaginative staging plays with your head, as wallpaper projected around the theater twists like a psychedelic screensaver and a woman (Diana Schultz) weaves in and out of panels around the stage. “Looks like a lot of cleanup,” said a patron leaving opening night. The set, yes. The production itself is near-perfect. ENID SPITZ. CoHo Theater, 2257 NW Raleigh St., 220-2646. 7:30 pm Thursday-Saturday and 2 pm Sunday, Through Feb. 6. $28.


Grimm Northwest

In The Boom Boom Room

David Rabe’s 1972 play about a go-go dancer whose tumultuous relationship with her parents sends her tailspinning into gender-blind sexual romps, updated by Sowelu Theater. Shaking the Tree Theatre, 823 SE Grant St., 235-0635. 7:30 pm Thursday-Saturday, through Feb. 5. $12.

I Know Things

In a thriller about a dysfunctional family, set in post-apocalyptic times, playwright Don Teeters explores the complexities of genetic engineering. SOPHIA JUNE. Hillsboro Artists’ Regional Theatre, (HART), 185 SE Washington St., Hillsboro, 254-5104. 7:30 pm Friday-Sunday Jan. 29-31 and 2 pm Saturday, Jan. 30. $15.

A Mischief of Rats

A group of rats is called a mischief, which is exactly what this dysfunctional family of rodents is up to. Playwright Katherine Lloyd-Knox passed away during rehearsals, so the reading will be performed as a memorial for her. SOPHIA JUNE. Lakewood Theatre Company, 368 S State St., Lake Oswego, 635-3901. 7 pm Wednesday, Jan. 27. $10.

Mustache Party!

Subtitled The Salvador Dalí Show, this nontraditional theater experience, set in the speakeasy-like Steep and Thorny Way to Heaven, blends Dalí’s surreal style with a commedia dell’arte. A slapstick trio called Box of Clowns hosts the show. When asked about its format, their answer: “it’s a party!” Which begs the question, how would Dalí party? SOPHIA JUNE. The Steep and Thorny Way To Heaven, SE 2nd Ave. and SE Hawthorne Blvs., 9 pm Thursday, Jan. 28 and Sunday, Jan. 30. $10.

The New Vaudeville

The Affable Gentlemen are two Portland storytellers who regularly entertain the Jack London bar with story nights themed on Paul Bunyan, awkward Christmas traditions. For Fertile Ground they’ll do a full-blown variety show, importing their favorite local musicians, magicians and other storytellers, like accordionist Eric Stern. Saturday is all ages, Sunday gets darker and sexier. Clinton Street Theater, 2522 SE Clinton St., 238-5588. 8 pm Saturday-Sunday, Jan. 30-31. $12.


Fifteen-year-old Mark delves into what to do when your family is flawed in this third play of Redmond Reams’ series. SOPHIA JUNE. Twilight Theater Company, 7515 N Brandon Ave., 8479839. 7 pm Sunday, Jan. 24 and 8 pm Friday-Saturday, Jan. 29-30. $15.

Shackleton, The Untold Story

The sixth installment in Portland Story Theater’s seafaring series about explorer Ernest Shackleton tells the true story of the 10 men in the Ross Sea Party. The first play, Shackleton’s Antarctic Nightmare in 2008, went


Willamette Week JANUARY 27, 2016


I Hate Oprah Hitler A fabulous, aquamarine Lycra jumpsuit is a springboard for philosophical questions in the new, one-woman show from life coach and local actress Faith Helma. While preparing her performance piece over the past year, Helma imagined the type of jumpsuit she wanted to wear—a sort of Hillary Clinton-meets-superhero design—so much that she even sketched a design and hung it on her wall. The next day, Helma went to her neighborhood thrift store, and there it was: her dream suit on the wall, in all its aquamarine glory. Did her mental energy manifest the jumpsuit? Or was she simply more open to the possibility of jumpsuits that already existed? This is the crux of Helma’s 70-minute manifesto I Hate Positive Thinking, which debuted last week at the Fertile Ground Festival. It’s not the jumpsuit specifically, but the concept of positive thinking as a navigational tool and how much Helma hates it. With rage screaming, charts, personal stories and free-form “failure” dancing, Helma cuts to the core of her beef with self-help methodology. At one point, she flow charts all the way to “I hate Oprah Hitler” (no disrespect intended to Oprah, of course). Helma’s issue is that the forced positivity espoused by books like The Secret becomes another mind-control device without actually improving anything. The irony is that Helma is a life coach herself, or “creative guide” as she says. It could be that her experience trying to coach people in the “navigation sessions” she offers led to her disdain for an it’s-always-sunny mentality. Instead, Helma offers her own techniques to battle positivity Nazis, like asking questions you don’t know the answer to, testing theories for yourself, looking for paradoxes and practicing honesty. Though clearly still a work in progress, I Hate Positive Thinking avoids the trappings of a rant-based manifesto because Helma comes off as earnest and willing to admit she doesn’t have the answers. Part TED talk, part improv experiment—audiences write down grievances and Helma shouts them from the stage—the show ends with a plea: View failure as a positive opportunity to be acknowledged and accompanied by interpretive dance. PENELOPE BASS.

I Hate Positive Thinking isn’t just a life coach’s rant.

SEE IT: I Hate Positive Thinking is at Shout House, 210 SE Madison St., No. 11., 971-266-1765. 7:30 pm Friday-Sunday, Jan. 29-31 and Feb. 5-7. $16.

Seaside Jazz Festival

“There are no dance schools in Algeria. They train outside, in beaches, on courtyards, in the streets.”


—Hervé Koubi, choreographer of What the Day Owes the Night. Full Q&A at

Order tickets 1-866-345-6257 |

You Are Not My Enemy & Bathtub Gin

Tense face-to-face conflicts dominate these two staged readings from PDX Playwrights—an adaptation of the traditional Japanese Noh drama Atsumori, then a modern quibble between the young Em and some crazy old lady who’s all up in her space. Hipbone Studio, 1847 E Burnside St., No. 104, 358-0898. 1 pm Sunday, Jan. 31. $10.

The Zoas: I Have Seen the Future

A Portland actor must save the world after being conned into creating a variety show for a major TV network in this supernatural musical dramedy. SOPHIA JUNE. The Secret Society, 116 NE Russell St., 493-3600. 8 pm Wednesday, Jan. 27. $15.

COMEDY & VARIETY Bridget Everett

Called one of the “Funniest People in New York,” by Time Out, Bridget Everett has been on Two Broke Girls, Inside Amy Schumer, and the Sex and the City movie. Along with her band, the Tender Moments, Bridget Everett puts on an edgy, sexed-up, punk rock cabaret show that has sold out venues across the country. Bridget Everett and the Tender Moments released their debut album of original music, Pound It!, in 2013, and have worked with a number of special guests including Fred Armisen, Flea and Peaches. Alberta Rose Theater, 3000 NE Alberta St., 9 pm Friday, Jan. 29. Sold out. 21+.

Curious Comedy Showdown featuring Pipes

It’s a musical, a comedy and an improv show all in one, where the audience suggests the subject. Curious Comedy Theater, 5225 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., 477-9477. 7:30 pm Friday, Jan. 29. $12-$15.

Earthquake Hurricane

Who needs one host when you can have four? Local super squad Curtis Cook, Bri Pruett, Anthony Lopez and Alex Falcone are keeping the heat on in 2016, bringing touring comic and host of Strangers on the Road podcast Mat Alano-Martin and local comedy stalwart Kristine Levine to the bike shop stage. Velo Cult Bike Shop, 1969 NE 42nd Ave., 922-2012. 9 pm Wednesday, Jan. 27. Free ($5 suggested donation). 21+.

Jermaine Fowler: Give ‘Em Hell Tour

Jermaine Fowler has appeared in TruTV’s Friends of the People and MTV2’s Guy Code, and has been touring the country telling jokes since he was 21. In celebration of his debut comedy special, Give ‘em Hell Kid, Jermaine is embarking on a nationwide tour. Coming along for the ride is Jak Knight, a celebrated New Face at the Just for Laughs festival in Montreal, and a writer for Lucas Bros. Moving Co. Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., 288-3895. 7 pm Wednesday, Jan. 27. $15. 21+.

Race Relations

Local comic Ed Black’s new show about racial issues and false ste-

La Compagnie Hervé Koubi reotypes, with an inaugural lineup of local favorites Bri Pruett, Chaz Miller, Zak Toscani, Marcus Coleman and Jason Traeger throwing out all the negativity surrounding race. Funhouse Lounge, 2432 SE 11th Ave., 841-6734. 7:30 pm Wednesday, Jan. 27. $10. 21+.

Thursday Night Throwdown

Curious’ twice-monthly competition gives teams 17 minutes for a chance to compete in Friday Night Fights next week. Curious Comedy Theater, 5225 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., 477-9477. 9:30 pm every second and last Thursday. Free.

DANCE Between Worlds

Three contemporary circus companies combine to show their workin-progress pieces that fuse aerial dance, acrobatics, theater, music and puppetry. Superhero Old Folks Home is Aaron Wheeler-Kay’s comic book version of a retirement home, the Circus Project tells a story of the seven deadly sins that channels Bob Fosse and Tempos stages the hero’s journey detailed by Joseph Campbell as an aerial dance. Echo Theater, 1515 SE 37th Ave., 8 pm Friday-Saturday, 4 pm Saturday and 1:30 pm Sunday, Jan. 29-31. $25-$28.

Groovin’ Greenhouse

Hosting a mix of local dance companies for Fertile Ground, Polaris collaborates with NW Fusion on Thursday, the always-inventive A-WOL Dance Company on Friday and Polaris Junior Company on Sunday. Polaris Studio Theatre, 1826 NW 18th Ave., 7:30 pm ThursdaySaturday, Jan. 28-30, and 2 pm Sunday, Jan. 31. $20-$22.


Burlesque is nothing if not a balls to the wall declaration that the body is beautiful and everyone should love theirs, love handles and all. Taking that one step further, Crush Bar is making a game show version of burlesque themed around feel good music. The audience picks the music and performers improvlesque for bragging rights. Crush Bar, 1400 SE Morrison Ave., 741-9672. 9 pm Friday, Jan. 29. $12. 21+.

What the Day Owes the Night

Twelve shirtless male dancers from Algeria and Burkina Faso perform an acrobatic mashup of b-boying, capoeira and contemporary choreography by Hervé Koubi in the year’s first offering from White Bird, the company responsible for most of Portland’s stand-out dance imports. PSU’s Lincoln Hall, 1620 SW Park Ave., 245-1600. 8 pm. Through Saturday, Jan. 30. Sold out.

For more Performance listings, visit Willamette Week JANUARY 27, 2016


Street P.31


Willamette Week JANUARY 27, 2016

VISUAL ARTS = WW Pick. Highly recommended. By ENID SPITZ. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, submit show information—including opening and closing dates, gallery address and phone number—at least two weeks in advance to: Visual Arts, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Email:


Charles Siegfried’s first solo show at Blackfish is a bombshell success. Literally, his acrylic collage paintings explode with color, refusing to be confined to a standard 18-by-24-inch canvas. This may be why Siegfried has resorted to ripping up bits of the surface and attaching things like crumpled newspaper and household objects to be layered over in paint. The pièce de résistance, entitled You All Alone in These Streets Cousin, is a monstrous and abstract jumble of blues, purples, yellows and greens, in which you can’t make out much more than a crying face and an army tank at first. But closer examination reveals Siegfried’s careful layering process—a mirror, perhaps, for the many inscrutable meanings that one might extract from the work. HILARY TSAI. Through Jan. 30. Blackfish Gallery, 420 NW 9th Ave., 224-2634.

The Emotional Life of Objects

Every object has a story. For this joint exhibit at Bullseye, mixed media artists Silvia Levenson, Dante Marioni and Heidi Schwegler unpack the complexities of “objecthood” with pieces of crafted, repurposed and combined materials like metal and ceramic. The finished works shine light on how we look at objects, making us reconsider their emotional lives, from production and function to symbolic or cultural significance. HILARY TSAI. Through March 26. Bullseye Projects, 300 NW 13th Ave., 227-0222.

pull between pain and glamour that is not often seen. HILARY TSAI. Through March 12. 511 Gallery, 511 NW Broadway, 226-4391.

I Have Love in My Heart as a Thief has Riches

For its inaugural site-specific exhibition, Front of House is showing a monumental installation from sculptor Mike Rathbun. The enormous vertical ring, made of laminated raw poplar, curves through the space in defiance of our expectations about how wood should behave. Carved wooden guy-wires lash it to the floor, walls and ceiling, adding a strong sense of tension to an otherwise minimalist form. If you’re riding the MAX down Southwest 1st, look out the window between Pine and Ash and you will see Rathbun’s creation overtaking the gallery with graceful arcs and crisscrossing lines. Better yet, drop by during business hours so you can see Rathbun’s jaw-dropping craftsmanship up close. JENNIFER RABIN. Through March 30. Front of House Gallery, 112 SW 1st Ave., 548-4984.

Gabe Brown

Gabe Brown’s mixed media works and oil paintings on linen are inspired by places real and imagined, sculptural plans and the artist’s musings on subjects like home and identity. Strong, yet playful, Brown’s painting mix matte earth tones, textured imprints on wood and mesh materials to form a backdrop for the lively geometric shapes in front. For Brown, who never dreamt of a career other than painting, the work is more than what meets the eye; it is an embodiment of self. HILARY TSAI. Through Jan. 30. Butters Gallery, 157 NE Grand Ave., 248-9378.

trying to figure out how Park has managed to bend their perception of space. JENNIFER RABIN. Through Jan. 30. Elizabeth Leach Gallery, 417 NW 9th Ave., 224-0521.

New Paintings Recent Bombings

Alex Lilly’s subject matter is horrific— nuclear blasts tinged with jet-black smoke against a backdrop of pristine teal sky, or molten rubble collapsing amid heat waves that seem palpable enough to burn through his canvases. Lilly’s apocalyptic works blast you with beauty in the wake of chaos, and his thick, rich swirls of paint in fiery oranges that conjure the flesh-melting heat of radiation and fire were so successful last month that Right Side Art is hosting them for another. He’s added a series of 6-inch square paintings of the St. Johns Bridge on fire, but he’ll be hard-pressed to top his own spectacle—during December’s First Thursday Lilly set one of his life-sized Riot Cop prints on fire. HILARY TSAI. Through Jan. 30. Right Side Art, 625 NW Everett St., No. 103.

Relaxo Patio

Relaxo Patio looks like a sun-soaked oasis amid the gloom of Portland winter. Canvases painted in soft, ocean-inspired gradients soothe and relax, while thick gobs of hot pink, powder blue and flesh tones evoke Miami’s boardwalk glamour scene. Wet Little Painting is a seductive blend of sandy swirls with the word “sex” smeared like lipstick on a mirror. It’s a coy throwback to sex on the beach. But if that’s not explicit enough, check out Phone Porn, the show’s only sculptural piece. This cross between a blush compact and an iPhone 4 shows the loose outline of bare hips on a plush pink screen. The phone itself looks playfully contoured, inviting you to touch it, especially since the show’s casual atmosphere makes you forget this is an art gallery and not a beachfront lounge. HILARY TSAI. Through Feb. 1. Nationale, 3360 SE Division St., 477-9786.

What We Carried

Photographer Jim Lommasson understands that sometimes an artist is just a conduit for other people’s stories. What We Carried documents the objects refugees fleeing the Iraq War brought with them to the United States. Lommasson photographs these treasures The Histology of the Different Classes simply and starkly on a white background, leaving oceans of negaof Uterine Tumors by Wangechi Mutu, tive space for their owners to write part of The Human Hybrid on about what makes the objects special. Though some of the writing is in Arabic, the objects—a pair of eyeLauren Gonsalves’ 14 graphite glasses, a tea set, a Polaroid, a colPat Boas is surely the love child of sketches show people she used to be lection of Barbie dolls—are so deeply Keith Haring and a renegade typogintimate with, who are now strangers. familiar that they communicate a rapher. Boas’ new series, Logo(s), at Gonsalves mixes botanical imagery shared humanity. Without insinuatElizabeth Leach manages to harness like orchids and chrysanthemums with ing himself into the work, Lommasson what is untamed about graffiti, while close-ups of human features—eyes, lets his subjects speak for themselves, exercising the restraint of calligraphy hair, hands—and ritualistic symbols showing us that no matter what our and graphic design. The sure strokes like snakes, moons and astrological circumstances are, we care about of her bright overlapping letterforms signs. These unusual portraits read the same things. JENNIFER RABIN. pop from their white-on-white frames. like tiny windows into another perThrough Jan. 31. Blue Sky Gallery, 122 It’s easy to get lost in each shape, son’s memory. The detail of the pieces NW 8th Ave., 225-0210. searching for recognizable compois intricate and delicate, and evokes nents—the curve of a B or the leg of a bittersweet nostalgia. Gonsalves an R. But it is equally enjoyable to manipulates positive and negative allow the forms to wash over you, Winter Group is mostly large prints space by leaving extra canvas around to regard each one as an aesthetic from artists who have recently the images, or having parts of her object, the way you might take pleashown at the Hartman Gallery, this subjects extend beyond the edges of sure in the lines of Arabic or Cyrillic, collection’s central theme is the her canvases, leaving certain parts of without trying to make sense of them. interplay between nature and human her subjects a mystery. HILARY TSAI. JENNIFER RABIN. Through Jan. 30. civilization. Some portray nature Through Jan. 30. Hellion Gallery, 9 NW Elizabeth Leach Gallery, 417 NW 9th as a sublime force, like the ocean 5th Ave., 774-7327. Ave., 224-0521. front that dwarfs the tiny figure on the shoreline in Jeffrey Conley’s “Figure and Tide.” Others, like Holly An unlikely mash-up of scientific jourJinie Park’s color washed canvases do Andres’ “Summer of the Hornets #5” nalism and high fashion, these collage not hang complacently in the gallery, are glimpses into the bittersweet works use anatomy drawings as a as we have come to expect from moments of everyday domestic base. Then, artist Wangechi Mutu paintings. Some climb the walls like life. It’s a small collection, but these layers ink, cosmic paint splatters, texvertical ramps, tapered at the bottom, artists cover a range of subjects, tured fabrics and magazine cutouts expanding to a foot thick as they from outdoor recreation to racial to create bizarrely sexualized humanapproach the ceiling. Others change tension and the balance between oids. Some are abstract, free-floating the shape of the room by nestling into man-made structures and natural faces with exotic animal skin, human corners, replacing right angles with formations.HILARY TSAI. Through features and urban afros. Others are hard diagonal planes or soft convex Jan. 30. Charles A. Hartman Fine Art, curvaceous figures labelled as though hollows. The work takes a sledge134 NW 8th Ave., 287-3886. they were medical diagrams. Tumors hammer to the conventional idea of of the Uterus is the title of one, a groart-gallery-as-boring-white-box. By tesquely swollen uterus with runwaymaking the pieces dynamic and sculpready eyes and lips. It’s body horror tural, the artist not only engages the at its finest (or worst), but the artFor more Visual Arts listings, gallery in a different way, but also the ist’s use of medical jargon together viewers, many of whom can be seen visit with the female nude creates a pushwith their faces close to the work,

Hidden Occupancy


Winter Group

The Human Hybrid



JOIN US FOR OUR 2016 WW Signature Events! February 23 - Oregon Beer Awards April 30 - Cultivation Classic July 13 - WW’s Best of Portland Block Party September 24 - Beer Pro/Am Visit for more info.

Willamette Week JANUARY 27, 2016


Tuesday, February 23 • Revolution hall • $15 • 54

Willamette Week JANUARY 27, 2016

BOOKS = WW Pick. Highly recommended. By JAMES HELMSWORTH. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, submit lecture or reading information at least two weeks in advance to: WORDS, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Email: Fax: 243-1115.

WEDNESDAY, JAN. 27 Greg Jobin-Leeds

Between Occupy, the “$15 and a union” movement and activism surrounding the DREAM Act, these last few years have seen a resurgence of activism. Greg Jobin-Leeds, co-chair of the educational nonprofit Schott Foundation, talked to activists in When We Fight We Win. Reading Frenzy, 3628 N Mississippi Ave., 971-271-8044. 7 pm. Free


he doesn’t get the house; that goes to a woman living in a nursing home in Los Angeles. When Orhan flies out to investigate, he discovers an Armenian woman and a tale of grief and the Armenian genocide. Powell’s Books on Hawthorne, 3723 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 228-4651. 7:30 pm. Free.

TUESDAY, FEB. 2 George Hodgman

In 2011, George Hodgman lost his job in publishing in New York and moved back to his hometown of Paris, Mo., to live with and take care of his mother. As one might guess, living with his mom, to whom he didn’t come out to as gay until he was 40, is the source of no small amount of friction, as is being a New York literato in a town whose most famous resident is WWE wrestler Kane. Hodgman greets the

strange with grace and humor in his memoir, Bettyville. Powell’s City of Books, 1005 W Burnside St., 228-4651. 7:30 pm. Free.

The Book of Unknown Americans

Cristina Henríquez’s The Book of Unknown Americans tells the story of a couple and their young daughter, who emigrate from Michoacán to Delaware. The daughter, Maribel, suffers from a traumatic brain injury. As part of a lecture series on science at PCC, Dr. Jim Chestnutt, a concussion expert at OHSU, will discuss TBIs and how they’re portrayed in the book. Portland Community College Southeast Campus, 2305 SE 82nd Ave., 971-722-6111. 10:30 am. Free.

For more Books listings, visit


Another Read Through

Another Read Through’s first reading of the year features former state poet laureate Paulann Petersen, novelist and poet Kate Gray and novelist, poet and essayist Stephen Whitney. The readers will sign books. Another Read Through, 3932 N Mississippi Ave., 208-2729. 7 pm. Free.

Margaret Peterson Haddix

New York Times best-selling young adult writer Margaret Peterson Haddix’s newest series, Under Their Skin, tells the story of twins told their mom is getting remarried and they have stepsiblings, but they won’t ever meet them. Sup with that? The twins are going to investigate. Powell’s at Cedar Hills Crossing, 3415 SW Cedar Hills Blvd., 228-4651. 7 pm. Free.

Sunil Yapa

Young runaway Victor is at the 1999 WTO protests in Seattle, but not out of any political motivation: He’s just trying to sell a lot of weed. It quickly becomes evident that chill vibes are about to turn violent. In his debut novel, Your Heart Is a Muscle the Size of a Fist, Sunil Yapa follows the lives of Victor and six others that day. Powell’s City of Books, 1005 W Burnside St., 228-4651. 7:30 pm. Free.

FRIDAY, JAN. 29 Alafair Burke

Olivia learns her ex, whom she still pines for, has been accused of a triple homicide. Lucky for him, she’s one of the best criminal defense lawyers in New York and knows he didn’t do it. The Ex is written by former Multnomah County deputy district attorney Alafair Burke. Powell’s City of Books, 1005 W Burnside St., 228-4651. 7:30 pm. Free.

SUNDAY, JAN. 31 À Reading No. 24

À Reading, which is, surprise, a reading series by local poet/writer/art guy Robert Duncan Gray, enters its third year. This reading will feature local writers Dao Strom, Georgia Wood and Manuel Arturo Abreu. Valentines, 232 SW Ankeney St., 248-1600. 5 pm. Free.

One Breath

In 2013, Nicholas Mevoli died at one of the world’s freediving competitions, when his capillaries exploded from pressure. Journalist Adam Skolnick, whose work has appeared in The New York Times and Wired, tells Mevoli’s story in One Breath. Powell’s City of Books, 1005 W Burnside St., 228-4651. 7:30 pm. Free.

MONDAY, FEB. 1 Aline Ohanesian

In Aline Ohanesian’s debut novel, Orhan’s Inheritance, when Orhan Türkoglu’s grandfather dies, he inherits his rug business, which has thrived in Turkey’s Anatolia region for years. But

Clarice Lispector,

THE COMPLETE STORIES Clarice Lispector was like no other writer who has ever lived. This means, of course, she gets compared to every other writer who ever lived. “Better than Borges,” Elizabeth Bishop called her, after living for years in Lispector’s native Brazil. The Los Angeles Times put Lispector, who died in 1977, on the shelf with Kafka and Joyce. Writer Colm Tóibín went with Flann O’Brien and Fernando Pessoa. Her onetime translator, Gregory Rabassa, said she wrote like Virginia Woolf—a comparison repeated by many, and which she resented. In Brazil, where she is broadly considered the country’s greatest writer, they just call her “Clarice”—like Pelé, or Ronaldinho. But until a few years ago, Lispector’s books were out of print in English. The Complete Stories (New Directions, 640 pages, $28.95) marks the first time her short fiction has ever been collected unabridged in any language, even Portuguese. While reading them, one feels the loss of not knowing these stories sooner. Lispector writes fictions every bit as fantastical and gnomic as those of Borges or Kafka, except they are possessed of almost painful empathy, a wounding immediacy. In one of her most famous stories, “The Smallest Woman in the World,” about a tiny tribeswoman nicknamed Little Flower whose photograph fits “life-size” in the Sunday papers, “a lady felt such perverse tenderness for the African woman’s smallness that—prevention being better than cure—no one should ever leave Little Flower alone with the lady’s tenderness. Who knows to what darkness of love affection can lead.” Lispector’s stories inspire that same perverse tenderness, with the same darkness waiting in the wings. They are funny and sad and terrible, with no seams between these feelings—and though their touch is delicately light, they leave deep bruises. “I didn’t cry once in Brasilia; there was no place for it…they imprisoned me in freedom,” she writes in “Brasilia,” which stands perhaps as the book’s opus, an ode to the sterile and terrifyingly beautiful capital carved out of Brazil’s deep jungle in the ’60s. “Brasilia is the failure of the most spectacular success in the world,” she writes. “Brasilia smells like toothpaste.” The experience of reading Lispector is a bit like being slapped by a stranger, then kissed while the pain is fresh. You are abandoned to your own unsteadiness—in a world that seems less dependable, but filled with wonders. GO: Clarice Lispector’s translator, Katrina Dodson, will appear in conversation with author Lidia Yuknavitch at Powell’s City of Books, 1005 W Burnside St., 228-4651. 7:30 pm Wednesday, Jan. 27. Free.

Headout P.35 Willamette Week JANUARY 27, 2016


C O U R T E S Y O F T H E B U R E A U / W W S TA F F



= WW Pick. Highly recommended. Editor: ENID SPITZ. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, send screening information at least two weeks in advance to Screen, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Email: Fax: 243-1115.

OPENING THIS WEEK Fifty Shades of Black

Marlon Wayans wrote the script and himself into the role of Christian Black for this parody of the Heathman Hotel’s favorite literary gem. Not screened for critics. R. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Bridgeport, Division, Evergreen, Lloyd Center.

menace, an errant fireworks launch leads the fateful armaments to bond instead with a quartet of West Texas bumblers. The QB now throws lasers, the sheriff projects a shield, the aging tailback-turned-drunk regains his speed, and the village idiot gets smarts (plus, in the film’s best bit, an accompanying British accent). So far, so ’80s, but any hopes of a literal Super Troopers are soon leveled by a barrage of tired gags, bloodless caricatures and 16-bit poignancy. JAY HORTON. Kiggins.

The Finest Hours

C Although the death-defying rescue mission depicted in this film was a proud moment in the history of the U.S. Coast Guard, The Finest Hours is for the wives. Based on a true story, its plot centers on Bernie Webber (Chris Pine), a newly engaged boatswain who braves a historically bad storm to rescue 30 men from a sinking oil tanker. The femaledriven storyline of Webber’s fiancee (Holliday Grainger) sashaying around the Coast Guard station and demanding assurance of her beloved’s safety feels obligatory from writers Scott Silver, Paul Tamasy and Eric Johnson, as post-Mad Max: Fury Road action movie writers are wont to do. She miraculously earns the respect of the town’s crusty old seamen through her loyal wifeliness, but director Craig Gillespie fails to prove her as an independent character. The film’s overall impact relies on the cinematic awe of watching a steel ship be ripped apart by brutal waves, amounting to a more patriotic version of A Perfect Storm for the current CGI-savvy generation. PG-13. LAUREN TERRY. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Oak Grove, Bridgeport, City Center, Division, Evergreen, Pioneer Place, Tigard.

Kung Fu Panda 3

A- It’s been five years since Kung Fu Panda 2, and Jack Black hasn’t been in anything even close to that good since. Good for Black—his pudgy, clumsy panda Po is as endearing as ever. This time, Po must find true “chi” to beat Kai, a ripped yak creature that might be too scary for young kids. Po—who somehow thought he was the only panda in the world—is reunited with his father, who takes him to a secret panda land, where even Minions couldn’t beat how cute the jiggly-belly pandas are. The film uses Eastern philosophies about inner peace to work out modern family issues, as Po journeys to find his true self. Besides good lessons, parents will appreciate the watercolor Chinese landscapes and cherry blossoms swirling to a soundtrack that sounds like Florence and the Machine, in a rare example of 3-D actually adding to the film. PG. SOPHIA JUNE. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Oak Grove, Bridgeport, Evergreen, Lloyd Center, Pioneer Place, Tigard, St. Johns Cinemas.

Lazer Team

C- Raising more than three times its $600K target during the most successful Indiegogo campaign yet waged for a feature film, Austin’s Rooster Teeth production troupe— beloved for its long-running Beckettmeets-Halo Web series Red vs. Blue—spent fans’ largesse on a bucketload of digital effects and famousof-a-sort faces—Disney Channel vet Allie DeBerry and Alan Ritchson (Smallville’s Aquaman)—for a damnably professional jaunt through the latest indie sci-fi spoof. After Earth’s leaders spent decades diligently preparing a champion to wield alien weaponry against an otherworldly



D The title The 5th Wave could easily refer to the fact that humanity has been under attack from wave after wave of young-adult post-apocalypse movies in the past 10 years. Sadly, there’s nothing self-aware about this cookie-cutter story of a peppy teenage girl who is, obviously, Earth’s best hope. Sixteenyear-old Cassie (Chloë Grace Moretz from Kick-Ass) is a normal adolescent until a group of faceless aliens start killing everybody for no reason. They knock out most of the population with tsunamis and pandemics in the first couple waves, but then they inexplicably decide to finish us off with hand-to-hand combat. The “5th wave” of attacks comes in the form of body-snatching a bunch of adults and hot guys. Cassie has to fight back, but only after she deals with her inevitable love triangle. With dialogue like, “I didn’t believe in love until I met you,” you’ll wish you’d died in the 1st wave. PG-13. ALEX FALCONE. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Oak Grove, Bridgeport, City Center, Division, Evergreen, Lloyd Center, Pioneer Place, Tigard.

13 Hours

C Michael Bay’s latest big-budget war film doesn’t have the star power you’d expect, but it’s message is predicatbly patriotic: Americans are heroic, and Libyans are barbaric. This time, the heroes are six security contractors who save the day during a surprise nighttime attack by Libyan rebels. The film is essentially Call of Duty, often told in point-of-view shots with night-vision goggles, sniper targets and comically fake spews of bright red blood. A few moments do take aim at the American military, like when John Krasinski gazes up at the Libyan sky and says in a wavering Southern accent: “I’m going to die fighting in a war I don’t understand.” Mainly, the actors succeed at looking buff and running around to the Hans Zimmer soundtrack, but they fail to deliver genuinely emotive performances. To be fair, the meathead script didn’t give them much to emote. In one of the most unintentionally comical scenes, the Americans mistake the Muslim call to prayer for another attack. In the other, one character muses about Joseph Campbell’s philosophy. Like the film, both misfire. R. SOPHIA JUNE. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Oak Grove, Bridgeport, City Center, Division, Evergreen, Lloyd Center, Pioneer Place, Tigard.


B- It’s a little creepy watching a stop-motion puppet perform cunnilingus on another puppet; creepier still when the foreplay turns into outright sex. Puppets aren’t supposed to fuck—are they? Charlie Kaufman

Willamette Week JANUARY 27, 2016



Before last week, talk about Andrew Haigh’s rich, slow-moving marital mystery, 45 Years, centered on its gorgeous cinematography and masterful acting by Tom Courtenay and Charlotte Rampling, elder statesmen of elite acting. The film is nominated for one Oscar, Actress in a Leading Role for Rampling, which is unsurprising. It screams Oscar. Elegant. Sad. British. Full of white people. There’s the rub: This year’s Oscars are white. So white, you need sunglasses to look at arrays of nominee head shots. So white, people are boycotting, making hashtags, agitating for change. “People,” but not everybody. Rampling, for example, told French radio station Europe 1 that she thinks the backlash against the Oscars is “racist to white people” and that “We can never know... but perhaps the black actors did not deserve to be in the final straight.” (She has since said her comments were “misinterpreted.”) It’s inappropriate to write about the movie without at least mentioning that its lead said something racist. Because not to acknowledge your privileged position as a white person isn’t great—but to openly deny it? That should be universally regarded as terrible. But the movie, in which the willfully ignorant Rampling gives a great performance, isn’t itself racist. It’s good, in fact—haunting, slow, reserving its gut punches for silent, unexpected moments. Before the Oscar nominations, the resulting backlash, and the backlash to the backlash, we spoke with director Andrew Haigh about the film and his decision to make Rampling such a focal point in it. The story of a married couple confronting a secret buried in the Swiss ice is actually based on a short story, David Constantine’s “Another Country,” that features a man as its central character. Haigh says he decided early on to tell the story from the perspective of the wife, who’s grappling with the fact that her husband’s first love died in a mountain crevasse. Rampling is at the center of the screen while Courtenay, her bumbling and distracted husband, lives on the periphery. He is even out of the frame in many scenes where he’s present, and it is this purposefully blinkered perspective that makes the film so compelling.

“When you make that decision to tell it from a certain perspective, you try to find all the tools that you can, to make you realize that you are seeing this world through her eyes,” Haigh says. “Keeping people out of the frame when you would normally have them in the frame is a good way to do that.” Rampling deftly leads the cast, and her character—a buttoned-up, childless woman on the verge of celebrating her 45th wedding anniversary to a man she suddenly doesn’t know—is painfully real and quietly bleak, set perfectly in the film’s flat landscape. “The original story is set in Wales, which is full of mountains,” Haigh says. “But the area that we set the film in is very flat and melancholy and strange almost. And I also just love this idea that the present of the story is very flat, and the past of the story is filled with mountains and glaciers and streams and waterfalls and things. I love that contradiction between the past and the present.” It’s this pull between past and present that makes the film work. The present is a dull, wet, flat world inhabited by old people, and the past is a dramatic mountain range, where young and attractive people are filled with love but only ever seen at odd angles in a blurry slide show. It’s possible that Rampling’s comments about the Oscars are also about this disconnect between a fantasy past and a real present. White people sometimes remember a magical past world that was “better” than this one. They imagine a time when people were judged only on their merits and those who were nominated for an award were genuinely the most deserving. White people won every time in that world, just by sheer ability. Of course, the movie industry’s past was not idyllic for everyone. Nonwhite people were not only excluded from awards—they were excluded from Hollywood, from acting schools, from communities with the privilege of supporting someone following their dreams. 45 Years is a solid film, and Rampling certainly deserves her Oscar nomination. But when you watch it, remember that in 2015 there were almost no leading roles at all played by women of color. And it’s impossible to win an award when there isn’t even an opportunity to qualify. A- SEE IT: 45 Years is rated R. It opens Friday at Living Room Theaters.

The Big Short

A We’re in a bubble of movies about the financial crisis, but The Big Short is the first good one. It’s based on the book by Michael Lewis, who’s known for making complicated financial topics into compelling stories, and adapted by Adam McKay, who is known for Talladega Nights and the “More Cowbell” sketch. Surprisingly, this combo works. The film focuses on three real weirdos (Steve Carell, Christian Bale and Brad Pitt) who were some of the only people to predict the collapse of the housing market in 2007. It’s entertaining and informative, just like you’d expect from Michael Lewis and not at all what you’d expect from Adam McKay. R . ALEX FALCONE. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Cornelius, Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Living Room Theaters, Bridgeport, City Center, Evergreen, Lloyd Center, Tigard, St. Johns Cinemas.

Bridge of Spies

B- Steven Spielberg was born to

convey viewers through weird and wonderful alternate realities, but the director’s gift just doesn’t shine as brightly when he contends with humanity’s past. Bridge of Spies, starring Tom Hanks as an insurance lawyer recruited by the U.S. government to negotiate a spy-for-spy trade with the Soviet Union, benefits from a caustic screenplay by the Coen brothers. While Spielberg is pretty good even when he’s on autopilot, there is little here that doesn’t feel perfunctory. PG-13. CHRIS STAMM. Academy, Kennedy School, Lake Theater, Laurelhurst, Living Room Theaters, Mt. Hood, Division, Vancouver, Joy, Valley.


A- Based on the novel by Irish

author Colm Tóibín and adapted by Nick Hornby (High Fidelty, About a Boy), Brooklyn is just the sweetest thing. Saoirse Ronan (Atonement) makes an adorable couple with Emory Cohen (Smash), and I could watch them court for hours, especially their awkward dinners with Cohen’s Italian family. PG-13. ALEX FALCONE. Cinema 21.


A Like a long-gone grandpar-

ent, Portland director Todd Haynes’ newest feature is an experience you remember mostly by token images—Cate Blanchett’s lacquered nails, Rooney Mara developing film in her shabby apartment kitchen, Blanchett’s lipstick stains on Mara’s nipples. A romance between a young salesgirl and older housewife set against the picture-book 1950s, Carol in many ways echoes Haynes’ Oscarnominated Far From Heaven. It’s an almost painfully beautiful adaptation of Patricia Highsmith’s novel, The Price of Salt, with Haynes’ signature touches—magnetic actresses and gorgeous shots of them lighting slim cigarettes. This is the first Haynes feature with a lesbian couple front and center, and the first he didn’t write. Framed to channel Vivian Maier’s midcentury photography of

Chicago, the film shows romance as tea sandwiches, abusive husbands and lindy hops in equal measure. And a sense of voyeurism colors the film—we sit in on the couple’s first date, and in the final scene, Haynes transplants our eyes into Therese’s head and makes them stare straight into Carol’s. But Carol seduced you already, two hours back. R. ENID SPITZ. Hollywood, Lake Theater, Bridgeport, City Center, Fox Tower.

Chi-Raq B+

If you’re a fan of modern interpretations of classic Greek drama or showmanship in the style of Baz Luhrman, then this is the Spike Lee joint you’ve been waiting for. Based on Aristophanes’ comedy Lysistrata, Lee tells the tale of an indomitable heroine rallying women from both sides of the Peloponnesian War to withhold sex to force the armies to negotiate peace. Through the lens of modern, vibrant, Spike Lee-styled Chicago, the classic takes on a gritty texture. In an unsuccessful homage to its Grecian roots, much of Chi-Raq’s dialogue rhymes, resembling a draft of “Dr. Seuss Goes to Englewood.” R. LAUREN TERRY. Laurelhurst.


C- The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air stars in a movie based on a GQ article about a coroner living in Pittsburgh who discovered brain damage in a retired football player and was hounded by the NFL to retract his findings. Unfortunately, even Alec Baldwin, Albert Brooks and Big Willie Style (complete with a halfway decent Nigerian accent) couldn’t make an exciting story out of microscopes, publishing scientific papers, and men sitting around conference tables lying to each other. PG-13 . ALEX FALCONE. Academy.


A- Creed—the seventh movie in the Rocky franchise—is more like the original Rocky than its sequels because it’s mostly good, but also because it’s almost entirely the same movie as Rocky. It feels more like an apology for the mediocre Rocky movies we’ve endured, more like a series reboot than a sequel, featuring a stronger young actor in Michael B. Jordan. PG-13. ALEX FALCONE. Academy, Avalon, Clackamas, Kennedy School, Laurelhurst, Mt. Hood, Division, Valley.

Daddy’s Home

B Will Ferrell hasn’t exhausted the

comedy of emasculation just yet—his argyle sweater vest-wearing persona still has some comic juice, especially teamed with The Other Guys co-star Mark Wahlberg’s alpha male. Director Sean Anders sticks to sitcom setups and obvious gags. But compared to, say, the shapeless Sisters, Daddy’s Home at least has structure and sincerity. PG. ROBERT HORTON. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Bridgeport, City Center, Division, Evergreen.

The Danish Girl

A In director Tom Hooper’s first

film since Les Miserables, Eddie Redmayne plays Einar Wegener, one of the first people to undergo gender reassignment surgery, in the story from David Ebershoff’s novel of the same name. Wegener and his wife, Gerda (Alicia Vikander), a fellow artist and his best friend, make the perfect, hip art couple of 1920s Copenhagen. R. LAUREN TERRY. Bridgeport, Division, Fox Tower.

Dirty Grandpa

Zac Efron as a stick-up-his-ass youth and Robert De Niro in his new stock role as an endearingly uncouth geezer take a road trip to Daytona Beach and have the sort of bro drama you’d expect from two guys named Jason and Dick. Not screened for critics. R. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Oak Grove, Bridgeport, City Center, Division, Evergreen, Fox Tower, Lloyd Center, Tigard.

The Good Dinosaur B-

The Good Dinosaur is a Little House on the Prairie-style rendering of pioneer life, except, of course, all the characters are talking dinosaurs living in an alternate reality where a certain fateful asteroid never made impact. PG. PENELOPE BASS. Academy, Avalon, Clackamas, Kennedy School, Laurelhurst, Mt. Hood.

botanist realizes that the only way to avoid starvation and space madness is to “science the shit” out of his situation. PG-13. AP KRYZA. Academy, Avalon, Laurelhurst, Mt. Hood, Tigard, Vancouver, Valley.


A In remote Turkey, five orphaned sisters are strictly confined to their home while their uncle arranges their marriages. In this feature debut

CONT. on page 57


(Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind) fills his movie with jarring moments like these, when our childhood associations of stop-motion animation collide with the very grown-up story that Anomalisa tells. But while the animation is undisputably nifty-looking, it can’t redeem this deeply pessimistic film. To motivational speaker Michael Stone (voiced by David Thewlis), everyone in the world looks and sounds exactly the same. The only person with a unique face and voice is a woman named Lisa, whom Stone meets and falls in love with at a Cincinnati hotel. Alas, just as his life is about to open up, the crushing conformity returns with a vengeance. We can never escape our ennui, the film heavy-handedly asserts. Morose and defeatist, Anomalisa might be an animated favorite for the upcoming Oscars, but it’s also an early contender for feel-bad movie of 2016. R. RICHARD SPEER. Cinema 21, City Center.

The Hateful Eight

A- Quentin Tarantino’s new mystery

Western, The Hateful Eight is a lot of very good things. It’s a spectacular bit of storytelling set against 70 millimeters of Wyoming grandeur, yet neat enough to fit together like the gears in a Swiss watch, with stellar character acting and crackling dialogue. But it’s also very much a Tarantino film. Yes, there are buckets of bright red blood spilled on bright white shirts, copious use of the most offensive English-language word beginning with N, and a bloody Mexican standoff. Kurt Russell is John “The Hangman” Ruth, a bounty hunter charged with bringing the mysterious Daisy Domergue (Jennifer Jason Leigh) into Red Rock, Wyo., to hang. His stagecoach comes across snowbound and desperate Samuel L. Jackson and Walton Goggins, and they’re eventually trapped inside a country inn with four lodgers. It’s a great setup, and the long and plentiful monologues are sharp, backstories emerge in a natural way, and the twists are unexpected until they’re obvious. The cartoonish level of violence will give some pause—it’s Kill Bill with fewer bodies but tighter shots—but that’s to be expected of Tarantino, a man who’s had 20 years to indulge his impulses, and who’ll hopefully have 20 more. R. MARTIN CIZMAR. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Hollywood, Bridgeport, City Center, Division, Evergreen, Fox Tower, Lloyd Center.

The Hunger Games: Mockingjay, Part 2

B Katniss Everdeen leads a group

of rebels against the Capitol, which has been booby-trapped with hot oil, lasers, and an army of lizard people. PG-13. ALEX FALCONE. Eastport, Clackamas, Mt. Hood, , Bridgeport, Evergreen, Pioneer Place.

The Intern

B+ Ben (Robert De Niro), an active widower and retiree in need of something to keep himself busy, applies to a senior internship program at “About the Fit,” a Topshop-like online clothing site founded by the dedicated Jules Ostin (Anne Hathaway). It’s a refreshingly modern concept, serving as a reminder that the timeless art of being a gentleman begins with respect. PG-13. LAUREN TERRY. Vancouver.


B+ Director David O. Russell takes his formula for American Hustle, wraps it in Christmastime and casts America’s ass-kicking sweetheart Jennifer Lawrence as the woman who invented the self-wringing Miracle Mop. Joy (Lawrence) is the ultimate handyman, balancing her explosive father (Robert De Niro) and musician ex-husband (Édgar Ramirez) fighting in the basement, her antisocial and bed-ridden mother (Virginia Madsen), two kids and too many unpaid bills. She fixes plumbing, shoots rifles to let off steam, bleeds a widow (Isabella Rossellini) for money and gives Bradley Cooper’s Home Shopping Network exec a piece of her mind. The movie is a joy to look at, but don’t those mail-order deals always seem smaller in real life? PG13. ENID SPITZ. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Hollywood, Bridgeport, Fox Tower, Tigard.

The Martian

B- It’s just a pretty good sci-fi yarn based on Andy Weir’s book that stumbles on its own ambition. When a massive storm hits the Martian exploration project and Watney’s team leaves him for dead, the skilled


This Could Be Your Son Hungary’s Oscar contender is a Holocaust tale that lives up to the hype.

There’s a moment of recognition on Saul Ausländer’s face when he sees a boy who’s just survived an Auschwitz gas chamber, because that boy may be his estranged son. A Nazi officer cuts that short, finishing what the gas chamber started with his bare hands. Son of Saul may be the most visceral, intimate take on the Holocaust ever made, and Hungarian-Jewish director László Nemes sets the tone early in what’s become the most-hyped foreign film this year—it’s the first Hungarian movie to win a Golden Globe and the country’s Oscar nominee for Best Foreign Language Film. It’s also Nemes’ directorial debut. Saul (Géza Röhrig ) is a Hungarian Jew and member of the Sonderkommando, a special unit of Jewish prisoners in charge of cleaning up the remains of their own people. To give his son a proper burial, Saul searches for a rabbi. Meanwhile, his fellow prisoners are planning their revolt. Most of the film was shot with a handheld camera, peering over Saul’s shoulder as he scrubs viscera from concrete floors or shovels dusty ashes from the furnaces. But the gore is always just out of focus, thanks to an open camera aperture that blurs everything farther away than the length of Saul’s arms. Same goes for Saul’s Nazi oppressors, whom we know by their brutal and grotesque shouting but rarely see. The techniques give us Saul’s own experience, showing how the human psyche shuts out what it can’t handle during a psychological trial that goes beyond trauma. While many Holocaust movies try to lighten the load of their subject matter by playing to the lowest common denominator of audience expectations, Son of Saul doesn’t, and it excels because of what it avoids. It’s not a shofar for nationalism, nor an excuse for Allied military fetishism, nor a melodramatic tale of the indomitable human spirit. It’s a hauntingly simple story that Nemes packages with intimacy, allowing a new generation of moviegoers to forget what he calls “the 70 years of postwar interpretation, the pity.” Instead, Son of Saul gives us the Holocaust as something that can happen in our world, to people like us. ZACH MIDDLETON. A- SEE IT: Son of Saul is rated R. It opens Friday at Cinema 21. Willamette Week JANUARY 27, 2016



The Peanuts Movie

A bald child named Charlie battles questionable fashion choices, impossible odds and burgeoning hormones. G. Avalon, Vancouver, Valley.

Norm of the North

C- This 86-minute animated movie about a polar bear trying to save the Arctic feels more like a threehour movie about animals dancing. Norm, the film’s clumsy protagonist, is a less cute version of Po from Kung Fu Panda. When Mr. Greene—an evil developer who looks like Michael Jackson with a body made of a slinky—tries to build condos in the Arctic, Norm pretends to be a spokesman for the campaign and goes to New York to win the public’s approval. As Norm reveals that the condos will actually destroy his home, the film takes unnecessary pains to explain things like the polar bear’s ability to talk to humans. Meanwhile, we suspend our disbelief about the complex public relations techniques. Norm had the opportunity to be an environmental film that teaches kids about global warming through a cuddly talking polar bear, but instead it develops a plot based on a problem that doesn’t currently threaten the Arctic. At least it has enough scenes of lemmings peeing and farting to entertain the kids. PG. SOPHIA JUNE. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Milwaukie, Oak Grove, Bridgeport, Division, Evergreen, Lloyd Center.

The Revenant

A- In terms of pure spectacle and cinematic beauty, Alejandro González Iñárritu’s The Revenant approaches masterpiece status. Fur trapper Hugh Glass (Leonardo DiCaprio) finds his trapping party on the receiving end of a bear attack that leaves him barely clinging to life. Playing Klaus Kinski to Iñárritu’s Werner Herzog for what was reportedly a shoot of Fitzcarraldo-level difficulty, DiCaprio brings his A-game to an abstract role. It is one of the best wilderness survival films of all time—a violent, unrelenting and staggeringly beautiful cinematic experience that leaves you feeling battered by an angry mother bear by the time the credits roll, but ready to take the ride again. R. AP KRYZA. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, CineMagic, Mill Plain, Cornelius, Edgefield, Forest Theatre, Lake Theater, Moreland, Oak Grove, Cinema 99, Bridgeport, City Center, Division, Evergreen, Fox Tower, Hilltop, Lloyd Center, Movies on TV, Sherwood, Tigard, Wilsonville, Roseway, Sandy, St. Johns Theater.


B+ In this riveting adaptation

of Emma Donoghue’s novel, an abducted woman must raise her son in a confined space, To maintain a stimulating setting, Ma (Brie Larson) creates a social environment with anthropomorphized characters named Bed and Lamp. R. LAUREN TERRY. Fox Tower. R. LAUREN TERRY. Cinema 21.


C+ As Gen-X plunges into the

Big Four-O with all the grace of an arthritic Tommy Lee flailing about his gyroscopic drum riser, studios have released a slew of movies about the bummers of aging: You’ve got your GrownUps, your Hot Tub Time Machines, your Star Wars (I assume that’s what Chewie’s arc will be about),


etc. This year, America’s pre-eminent comedic minds, Amy Poehler and Tina Fey, take a crack at it as the titular sisters who throw one last rager in their family house before their parents sell it. For the most part, it’s a straight-up party comedy, replete with the requisite tropes, and given the preponderance of truly innovative comedians, Sisters is disappointingly standard. R . JAMES HELMSWORTH. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Bridgeport, Division, Evergreen, Fox Tower.


from director Deniz Gamze Ergüven, Lale—the youngest sister—watches her siblings capitulate to suffocating patriarchy and searches herself for the strength to escape. PG-13. MIKE GALLUCCI. Kiggins, Living Room Theaters.


C+ The 26th Bond film has it all, and more. The one thing it doesn’t have is the ability to leave a lasting impression. Buildings crumble, helicopters do barrel rolls, and Daniel Craig nonchalantly causes millions in property damage. But from the minute Sam Smith’s grating theme music starts, the movie slides downhill. Sure, there’s fun to be had—Bond drives a trickedout ride through Rome’s narrow streets and engages in an Alpine plane chase before the anticlimactic conclusion lands with a dull thud. Considering everybody who’s involved in Spectre, the very last reaction anybody expected was “meh.” PG-13. AP KRYZA. Academy, Kennedy School, Laurelhurst, Vancouver, Joy, Valley.


A- Spotlight inverts the usual comparison: It’s a movie that feels like prestige television. Specifically, it feels like The Wire. An Oscar favorite recounting how a Boston Globe investigative team uncovered an epidemic of pederast priests abetted by the archdiocese, Spotlight borrows the rhythms of a propulsive TV procedural. It resists the temptation for self-congratulation. R. AARON MESH. Eastport, Cornelius, Bridgeport, City Center, Fox Tower.

Star Wars: The Force Awakens

A- If there’s one thing we know about Star Wars fans, it’s that they’re as resistant to change as any religious zealot. And so, the best thing that can be said about The Force Awakens is that it’s almost old-fashioned. There’s no Dark Knight-style brooding, no ring-a-ding-ding dialogue a la The Avengers or Guardians of the Galaxy. The action is fairly nonstop, and the story is pretty simple: Some guys in helmets are threatening peace in the galaxy, and it’s up to, well, you-know-who to stop them. PG-13 . MATTHEW SINGER. Bagdad, Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Mill Plain, Cornelius, Milwaukie, Oak Grove, Cinema 99, Bridgeport, City Center, Division, Evergreen, Hilltop, Lloyd Center, Movies on TV, Pioneer Place, Sherwood, Tigard, Wilsonville, Sandy, St. Johns Cinemas.


C Despite coming from Italian filmmaker and Oscar winner Paolo Sorrentino and starring Michael Caine and Harvey Keitel as two graying artists, Youth ends up feeling like too much beautiful, existential pondering without enough teeth. Caine and Keitel sit around talking about the past and how much they piss, which doesn’t sound cute or important, even from Caine. PG-13 . ALEX FALCONE. Cinema 21, Laurelhurst.

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Willamette Week JANUARY 27, 2016



Farmer Ted is a conniving rapist in cahoots with Jake Ryan. The Breakfast Club and Sixteen Candles reside in a racist universe where the rare non-whites are either servants or Long Duk Dong. Ponyboy marked the creative death of one of the greatest filmmakers in America. And Prince? Kind of a bitch. Especially compared to Morris Day. The ’80s were a magical time in cinema! And they’re on full display during the Mission Theater’s ’80s Week, taking place through Saturday. I’m not trash-talking any of the films on this wonderful retro roster, which includes The Breakfast Club, Sixteen Candles, The Outsiders and Purple Rain. But one of the worst things about becoming an adult and re-examining the classics of your youth is the cynicism that age brings. Nostalgia might be the MSG of memory, but hindsight can ruin even the most whimsical recollection. Take Sixteen Candles. It’s been a certified slumber-party mainstay for three decades. But the ’80s were a different time, and that’s something we tend to forget when we gleefully show new generations an innocent, PG-rated movie in which the main character declares that her ultra-rich family “fucking forgot my birthday” before we’re treated to shots of a topless teen and youths playfully drinking their asses off. Molly Ringwald’s Sam pines for a stud who hands over his blackedout girlfriend to have sex with Anthony Michael Hall in exchange for tips on how to pick up Sam. And that’s to say nothing of Long Duk Dong, playing a character who misses ranking among the most racist of all time only by virtue of not being a white dude in yellowface. The Breakfast Club, meanwhile, takes place in a school so whitewashed it makes even Portland look racially diverse. Sure, there are some universal problems hashed out among the brain, athlete,

basket case, princess and criminal. But holy shit— isn’t this the same era of Do the Right Thing? And doesn’t it take place outside Chicago? Don’t they have even one token black friend? We’ll just go ahead and call Prince an unofficial member, since Purple Rain is also playing. Hindsight isn’t limited to realizing that your childhood heroes are whiny perverts, either. The Outsiders is fondly remembered by a generation who looked up to the tough but tender camaraderie of Patrick Swayze, Matt Dillon and C. Thomas Howell, and was probably responsible for every movie seat in 1983 needing a thorough cleaning. But it also marks director Francis Ford Coppola’s transition from director of Apocalypse Now to director of Peggy Sue Got Married. And frankly, The Outsiders has aged about as well as Howell himself. But none of this matters. That’s the power of nostalgia on the moviegoing mind. Our memories of these movies are probably better than the films themselves, which allows us to forgive that Prince is kind of a pussy in Purple Rain (and the movie sucks), that The Outsiders is a schlocky melodrama, and that Anthony Michael Hall is poised to be suburban Chicago’s Bill Cosby. These movies are classics in our mind, and nobody—least of all some cynical film critic—can change that. Just keep it in mind next time your kids’ slumber party includes a John Hughes double feature. SEE IT: ’80s Week continues through Saturday at the Mission Theater. See for showtimes. ALSO SHOWING:

Church of Film rounds out its Late Weimar Glam series with a rare screening of the influential 1933 classic Viktor und Viktoria, the tale of an actress who moonlights as an actor moonlighting as an actress. Clinton Street Theater. 8 pm Wednesday, Jan. 27. Casablanca makes its first appearance of the year, in glorious 35 mm. Academy Theater. Jan. 29-Feb. 4. In The Mill and the Cross, Polish director Lech Majewski examines the 500 or so characters in Pieter Bruegel the Elder’s 1564 painting, just for fun. 5th Avenue Cinema. 7 and 9:30 pm Friday-Saturday, 3 pm Sunday, Jan. 29-31. How do you like your Bill Murray? Sardonic? Manic? Placid? Suicidal? Manic? They’re all here for Groundhog Day. Mission Theater, Feb. 1-2 (all day Tuesday). Clinton Street Theater; 7 pm Tuesday, Feb. 2.

Regal Lloyd Center 10 & IMAX


CineMagic Theatre

2021 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 503-231-7919 THE REVENANT Wed-ThuFri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 3:40, 6:45, 9:50

Kiggins Theatre

1011 Main St., 360-816-0352 MUSTANG Wed-Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue 6:30 IP MAN 3 Wed 9:15 ROOM Wed-Fri-Sat-Sun 3:30 OSCAR NOMINATED ANIMATED SHORTS Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue 8:30 LAZER TEAM Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 4:15

Regal City Center Stadium 12

801 C St. DIRTY GRANDPA Wed -Thu 12:15, 2:45, 5:30, 8:10 THE 5TH WAVE Wed-Thu 12:25, 3:10, 6:10, 9:20 THE BOY Wed-Thu 12:05, 3:05, 6:00, 9:30 13 HOURS: THE SECRET SOLDIERS OF BENGHAZI Wed-Thu 11:20, 2:55, 6:15, 9:10 RIDE ALONG 2 Wed Thu 12:45, 3:30, 6:05, 8:55 ANOMALISA Wed-Thu 12:35, 3:20, 6:25, 8:45 THE HATEFUL EIGHT Wed 8:00 DADDY’S HOME Wed-Thu 11:50, 2:15, 4:40 THE REVENANT Wed -

Hollywood Theatre

4122 NE Sandy Blvd., 503-281-4215 THE HATEFUL EIGHT Wed -Thu 7:30 CAROL Wed Thu-Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 1:30, 4:00, 6:30, 9:00, 9:30 JOY Wed-Thu 7:00, 9:30 BATTLESTAR GALACTICA Wed 7:30 THE HATEFUL EIGHT Fri-Sat-Sun-Tue 2:00 2016 OSCAR NOMINATED SHORT FILMS: ANIMATED Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 7:15 2016 OSCAR NOMINATED SHORT FILMS: LIVE ACTION FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue 9:15 GTFO: THE MOVIE Sun 7:00 SEVEN SAMURAI Mon 7:00 STRIKER Tue 7:30

Regal Fox Tower Stadium 10

846 SW Park Ave. BOY AND THE WORLD Wed-Thu 2:30, 6:50 DIRTY GRANDPA Wed-Thu 12:10, 4:10, 7:10, 9:40 IP MAN 3 Wed Thu 12:00, 4:40, 7:15, 9:45 THE HATEFUL EIGHT Wed Thu 3:20, 8:50 JOY Wed -Thu 12:40, 6:45 THE REVENANT Wed-Thu 12:00, 1:00, 2:40, 3:40, 6:00, 7:00, 9:20 SISTERS Wed-Thu 3:30, 6:30, 9:10 THE DANISH GIRL Wed-Thu 1:10, 4:20, 6:20, 9:00 CAROL Wed Thu 12:20, 4:00, 7:20, 10:00 SPOTLIGHT Wed-Thu 12:50, 4:30, 7:00, 9:50 ROOM Wed Thu 12:45, 3:45, 9:30

Regal Pioneer Place Stadium 6

340 SW Morrison St. THE 5TH WAVE Wed 12:15, 4:00, 7:15, 10:10 THE BOY Wed 12:50, 4:10, 7:30, 10:15 13 HOURS: THE SECRET SOLDIERS OF BENGHAZI Wed 12:30, 3:30, 6:15, 9:30 RIDE ALONG 2 Wed 1:00, 3:45, 6:45, 10:00 STAR WARS: THE FORCE AWAKENS Wed 12:40, 7:00 STAR WARS: THE FORCE AWAKENS 3D Wed 3:00,

Valley Theater

9360 SW Beaverton-Hillsdale Highway, 503-296-6843 THE MARTIAN Wed-ThuFri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 6:20, 9:15 SPECTRE Wed-Thu-FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue 6:30, 9:30 BRIDGE OF SPIES Wed-ThuFri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 6:05 THE PEANUTS MOVIE FriSat-Sun 12:00, 1:25 CREED Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 8:45


Clinton Street Theater

8704 N Lombard St., 503-286-1768 STAR WARS: THE FORCE AWAKENS Wed-Thu 4:45, 7:45 THE BIG SHORT Wed Thu-Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 5:30, 8:20 KUNG FU PANDA 3 Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 4:40, 7:00, 9:10

510 SW Hall St., 503-725-3551 NO FILMS SHOWING TODAY Wed-Thu-Mon-Tue THE MILL AND THE CROSS Fri-Sat-Sun 3:00

7818 SE Stark St., 503-252-0500 CREED Wed-Thu-Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue 1:10, 7:10 THE GOOD DINOSAUR Wed Thu-Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 11:00, 4:25 SPECTRE Wed Thu-Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 1:40, 9:25 BRIDGE OF SPIES Wed-Thu-Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue 1:30, 6:35 ROOM Wed Thu-Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 4:40 STEVE JOBS Wed -Thu 1:40, 7:00 THE MARTIAN Wed-Thu-Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue 3:55 SPACEBALLS Wed Thu 10:25 CONCUSSION Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 11:05, 6:50 MAD MAX: FURY ROAD Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 9:55 CASABLANCA Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue 11:15, 9:35


616 NW 21st Ave., 503-223-4515 BROOKLYN Wed-Thu 4:00, 6:30, 6:45, 9:00, 9:10 YOUTH Wed -Thu 3:45 ANOMALISA Wed-Thu-Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 4:30, 7:00, 9:15 BROOKLYN Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 3:45, 6:30, 9:00 SON OF SAUL FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue 4:00, 6:45, 9:15 THE ROOM Fri-Mon-Tue 10:45

St. Johns Cinemas

5th Avenue Cinema

Academy Theater


Cinema 21

1624 NW Glisan St. THE BREAKFAST CLUB Wed-Fri-Sat 11:30 PURPLE RAIN Wed-Sat 8:30 SIXTEEN CANDLES Fri-Sat 5:30 THE OUTSIDERS Sat 2:30 WEIRD SCIENCE Sun 4:30 LABYRINTH Mon 9:30 GROUNDHOG DAY Mon-Tue 2:00, 4:00, 6:00, 8:00

5736 NE 33rd Ave., 503-249-7474 BRIDGE OF SPIES Wed -Thu 2:15 THE GOOD DINOSAUR Wed-Thu-Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 5:30 CREED Wed-Thu-Fri-SatSun 2:15 SPECTRE Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue 2:00, 8:00

8203 N Ivanhoe St., 503-249-7474 THE REVENANT Wed-ThuFri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 11:00, 2:30, 6:00, 9:30


3451 SE Belmont St., 503-238-1617 IN THE HEART OF THE SEA Wed -Thu 4:45 CREED Wed Thu 7:05, 9:35 THE GOOD DINOSAUR Wed-Thu 1:00, 3:00, 5:00 THE PEANUTS MOVIE Wed-Thu 12:45 THE MARTIAN Wed-Thu 7:00, 9:35 HOTEL TRANSYLVANIA 2 Wed -Thu 2:35

Mission Theater and Pub

Kennedy School Theater

St. Johns Theater


Avalon Theatre & Wunderland

2735 E Burnside St., 503-232-5511 THE HUNGER Wed-Thu 9:45 SPECTRE Wed-Thu-Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue 6:15 BRIDGE OF SPIES Wed-Thu-Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue 6:45 ROOM Wed Thu-Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 6:30, 9:00 CHI-RAQ Wed-Thu 9:30 THE MARTIAN Wed-Thu-FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue 9:15 STEVE JOBS Wed-Thu-Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue 9:40 CREED Wed Thu 9:00 FIRE WALK WITH ME Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 9:30 YOUTH Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 7:00 THE GOOD DINOSAUR Sat-Sun 1:00

9:40 THE HUNGER GAMES: MOCKINGJAY, PART 2 Wed 1:10, 4:20, 9:50 THE FINEST HOURS Thu 10:00 THE FINEST HOURS 3D Thu 7:00 KUNG FU PANDA 3 FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue 1:00, 9:45 KUNG FU PANDA 3 3D FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue 3:45, 7:00


1510 NE Multnomah St. STAR WARS: THE FORCE AWAKENS -- AN IMAX 3D EXPERIENCE Wed Thu 12:35, 4:00, 7:15, 10:30 AAIC: FLORENCE AND THE UFFIZI GALLERY Wed 7:00 13 HOURS: THE SECRET SOLDIERS OF BENGHAZI Wed-Thu 11:35, 2:55 NORM OF THE NORTH Wed -Thu 12:55, 3:35 DIRTY GRANDPA Wed-Thu 12:10, 3:20, 6:30, 9:30 THE 5TH WAVE Wed Thu 12:45, 3:50, 7:05, 10:20 THE BOY Wed-Thu 11:50, 2:25, 5:00, 7:35, 10:10 STAR WARS: THE FORCE AWAKENS Wed Thu 3:25, 6:10, 9:55 RIDE ALONG 2 Wed-Thu 12:20, 3:00, 10:25 THE BIG SHORT Wed-Thu 12:25, 3:40, 7:00, 10:05 THE REVENANT Wed Thu 11:30, 3:10, 6:50, 9:20 THE HATEFUL EIGHT Wed -Thu 9:55 STAR WARS: THE FORCE AWAKENS 3D Wed-Thu 12:00 FIFTY SHADES OF BLACK Thu-Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 1:10, 3:50, 6:40, 9:15 BEST OF RIFFTRAX: THE ROOM Thu 7:30 KUNG FU PANDA 3 FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue 11:55, 5:05, 10:15 KUNG FU PANDA 3 3D Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 2:30, 7:40 THE METROPOLITAN OPERA: TURANDOT Sat 9:55

Laurelhurst Theatre & Pub

Thu 11:00, 2:10, 5:20, 8:40 STAR WARS: THE FORCE AWAKENS Wed-Thu 10:55, 2:05, 5:15 STAR WARS: THE FORCE AWAKENS 3D Wed Thu 8:30 THE BIG SHORT Wed-Thu 11:30, 2:35, 5:50, 9:00 CAROL Wed-Thu 2:30 SPOTLIGHT Wed-Thu 11:10, 5:40, 8:50 BROOKLYN Wed Thu 11:40, 2:20, 5:00 THE FINEST HOURS Thu 7:00 THE FINEST HOURS 3D Thu 8:00


Living Room Theaters 341 SW 10th Ave., 971-222-2010 BRIDGE OF SPIES Wed-ThuFri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 1:00, 8:30 CENSORED VOICES Wed-Thu 12:30, 2:30, 5:10, 7:15, 9:25 MACBETH Wed-Thu 2:40, 8:55 MUSTANG Wed Thu-Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 12:00, 2:20, 4:20 THE BIG SHORT Wed-Thu-Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue 12:10, 1:10, 2:50, 4:10, 6:00, 6:30, 7:00, 8:50, 9:15 45 YEARS Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 12:15, 2:30, 4:00, 5:00, 6:15, 7:15, 9:20, 9:45 2016 OSCAR NOMINATED SHORT FILMS: ANIMATED Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue 12:05, 2:10, 6:45 2016 OSCAR NOMINATED SHORT FILMS: LIVE ACTION Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue 4:30, 8:45


2735 E BurnsidE st • (503-232-5511) •

Finest Hours, The (XD-3D) (PG-13) 7:00PM 9:50PM Kung Fu Panda 3 (XD) (PG) 11:30AM 2:00PM 4:25PM Kung Fu Panda 3 (PG) 10:50AM 1:20PM 3:50PM 6:20PM 7:10PM 8:50PM Norm of the North (PG) 11:45AM 2:10PM 4:35PM Star Wars: Episode VII - The Force Awakens (PG-13) 4:05PM 10:25PM Jane Got A Gun (R) 12:00PM 2:35PM 5:05PM 7:35PM 10:10PM Kung Fu Panda 3 (3D) (PG) 12:30PM 3:00PM 5:30PM 8:00PM 9:40PM 10:30PM Sisters (R) 7:05PM 10:00PM Star Wars: Episode VII - The Force Awakens (PG-13) 4:05PM ® 10:25PM ® Star Wars: Episode VII - The Force Awakens (3D) (PG-13) 12:50PM 12:50PM ® 7:15PM 7:15PM ® Revenant, The (R) 1:05PM 4:40PM 8:15PM Ride Along 2 (PG-13) 11:35AM 2:20PM 5:00PM 7:40PM 10:20PM Room (R) 11:20AM

Ride Along 2 (PG-13) 11:30AM 2:10PM 4:50PM 7:30PM 10:10PM

5th Wave, The (PG-13) 11:00AM 1:45PM 4:30PM 7:15PM 10:00PM Big Short, The (R) 1:15PM 4:15PM 7:15PM 10:15PM Irudhi Suttru (AIM Distribution) (NR) 9:00PM 13 Hours:The Secret Soldiers Of Benghazi (R) 11:45AM 3:15PM 6:45PM 10:15PM Boy, The (PG-13) 11:45AM 2:25PM 5:05PM 7:45PM 10:15PM Finest Hours, The (3D) (PG-13) 12:25PM 4:40PM 6:05PM 10:20PM Finest Hours, The (PG-13) 11:00AM 1:50PM 3:15PM 7:30PM 8:55PM Dirty Grandpa (R) 11:55AM 2:30PM 5:05PM 7:40PM 10:15PM Fifty Shades Of Black (R) 11:15AM 2:00PM 4:45PM 7:30PM 10:30PM

Kung Fu Panda 3 (3D) (PG) 12:15PM 5:15PM 7:45PM 10:15PM Kung Fu Panda 3 (PG) 11:00AM 1:30PM 2:45PM 4:00PM 6:30PM 9:00PM Joy (PG-13) 12:10PM 7:05PM Star Wars: Episode VII - The Force Awakens (PG-13) 12:20PM 7:00PM Jane Got A Gun (R) 11:15AM 2:00PM 4:40PM 7:15PM 10:00PM Spotlight (R) 1:10PM 4:10PM 7:10PM 10:10PM Star Wars: Episode VII - The Force Awakens (3D) (PG-13) 3:40PM 10:20PM Sisters (R) 10:55AM 1:50PM 4:40PM 7:35PM 10:25PM Revenant, The (R) 11:05AM 2:50PM 6:30PM 10:05PM Ride Along 2 (PG-13) 11:20AM 2:15PM 5:00PM 7:50PM 10:30PM Big Short, The (R) 12:45PM 4:00PM 7:10PM 10:20PM

Boy, The (PG-13) 11:30AM 2:15PM 4:55PM 7:40PM 10:25PM 5th Wave, The (PG-13) 10:50AM 1:45PM 4:45PM 7:35PM 10:30PM Hateful Eight, The (R) 3:10PM 10:10PM 13 Hours:The Secret Soldiers Of Benghazi (R) 3:55PM 9:55PM Finest Hours, The (3D) (PG-13) 11:00AM 4:50PM 10:40PM Finest Hours, The (PG-13) 1:55PM 7:45PM Fifty Shades Of Black (R) 12:00PM 2:30PM 5:00PM 7:30PM 10:10PM Daddy’s Home (PG-13) 1:05PM 7:20PM Dirty Grandpa (R) 11:10AM 2:00PM 4:45PM 7:30PM 10:15PM

Joy (PG-13) 1:30PM 4:30PM Kung Fu Panda 3 (3D) (PG) 12:15PM 4:00PM 6:30PM 10:15PM Star Wars: Episode VII - The Force Awakens (PG-13)


12:40PM 7:00PM Jane Got A Gun (R) 11:55AM 2:30PM 5:00PM 7:30PM 10:00PM Kung Fu Panda 3 (PG) 11:00AM 1:30PM 2:45PM 5:15PM 7:45PM 9:00PM Seethama Ramayya Sitralu (Cinemas24) (NR) 12:30PM 3:20PM 6:10PM 9:00PM Star Wars: Episode VII - The Force Awakens (3D) (PG-13) 3:50PM 10:10PM


Revenant, The (R) 11:30AM 3:00PM 6:30PM 10:00PM

BATHROOM SHOCKER: Groundhog Day screens at the Mission and Clinton Street theaters.

Forest, The (PG-13) 10:05PM Big Short, The (R) 12:55PM 4:00PM 7:10PM 10:15PM Boy, The (PG-13) 12:10PM 2:50PM 5:20PM 7:55PM 10:30PM Brooklyn (PG-13) 11:00AM 1:50PM 4:35PM 7:20PM Good Dinosaur, The (PG) 11:05AM 1:45PM 4:30PM 13 Hours:The Secret Soldiers Of Benghazi (R) 12:20PM 3:40PM 7:00PM 10:20PM 5th Wave, The (PG-13) 11:10AM 12:40PM 2:00PM 3:30PM 4:50PM 6:25PM 7:45PM 9:15PM 10:30PM Finest Hours, The (3D) (PG-13) 12:15PM 12:15PM ® 3:10PM 3:10PM ® 6:05PM 6:05PM ® 9:00PM 9:00PM ® Finest Hours, The (PG-13) 10:55AM 1:50PM 4:40PM 7:35PM 10:30PM Daddy’s Home (PG-13) 2:15PM 4:55PM 7:30PM 10:05PM Dirty Grandpa (R) 12:05PM 2:40PM 5:15PM 7:50PM 10:25PM Fifty Shades Of Black (R) 11:55AM 2:25PM 4:55PM 7:25PM 9:55PM

FRIDAY Willamette Week JANUARY 27, 2016



TESTING, TESTING: Samples from a recent cannabis contest.



The state of cannabis competitions in Oregon is one step above blatant favoritism. Judging is rushed, industry judges have too much previous exposure to strains, and most of them can’t even seem to agree what “good” means. While we wait for the Oregon Liquor Control Commission and the Oregon Health Authority to hammer out cannabis rules, there’s nothing stopping the state’s cannabis industry from creating protocols that could be used as the basis for judging at all competitions. Let’s do that together. Give judges more time per strain. When judging wine, most experienced judges spit samples out, so as not to get drunk and have it affect their senses. The cannabis industry says fuck that, the effects are part of the experience, which means what takes alcohol reviewers a few hours should take days and weeks for cannabis. While the time needed can vary, a general rule is to dedicate one to two hours to each flower strain, 45 to 90 minutes for oil concentrates, and three to four hours for bubble hash. Good competitions will recommend judging no more than eight flower, 12 concentrate, or six bubble hash entries a day, and allow seven to 10 days between delivery of judges’ kits and the due date for reviews. Randomize each judge’s sample kit. It’s far too easy to share numbered entries on social media and unfairly influence other judges, but organizers would be crazy to crack down on judges sharing the fun. Instead, create a master 60

Willamette Week JANUARY 27, 2016

sheet of entries, with names, products, categories and a randomized number for each judge. Set a lower residual solvent limit for concentrates. These are championship, best-of-the-best strains. If producers can’t ensure their best stuff is clean, what does that tell us about the rest of their crop? Washington has a 500 ppm limit, Colorado is just over that, and Oregon is looking to require about that. Competition entries at 20 percent of allowable state limits is a no-brainer for high-end competitions, and ensures entrants will take the extra time needed to produce their best. Get rid of numbers-based awards. We know the strain with the highest THC percentage might not give the best high, so why in the hell do competitions bother with awards for such metrics, especially ones that can be easily gamed by picking a specific part of the plant? Labs are not standardized, making results feel more subjective than objective. Cannabinoid numbers are a guide to potency, not a foolproof way to judge quality. Let’s stop pretending otherwise. Make judging criteria public. Cannabis events attract more than growers, processors and retailers, so why not share the characteristics entries are judged on? As the cannabis audience grows from heavy users who know their stuff to more casual tokers, educating novice palates could quickly equal more engaged users. For flower, we recommend appearance (intact trichomes, trim job), aroma, taste, ash and effects. For oils or bubble hash, appearance, taste, melt or residuals, and effects. Cool? Great, see you at NW Cannabis Club’s X-Challenge in March, where I’ll be judging.




53 54 55


JANUARY 27, 2016


503-445-2757 •










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MUSIC LESSONS LEARN PIANO ALL STYLES, LEVELS With 2 time Grammy winner Peter Boe. 503-274-8727.

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Willamette Week Classifieds JANUARY 27, 2016




503-445-2757 •



by Matt Jones

“Roll With It”–a round of applause. 60 Veterans Day mo. 61 Long-distance swimmer Diana 62 Drummer Charlie of the Rolling Stones 63 Cute spherical character in “The Force Awakens” demonstrated in this grid (not counting this answer)


Try FREE: 503-416-7098 More Local Numbers: 1-800-926-6000

Ahora español 18+

Strike a LiveMatch!

Across 1 Part of NKOTB 4 Reason for a Boy Scout badge 9 Trolley 13 Twenty-one desirable 14 Brunch beverage 15 Negative space 16 Arts and crafts chain in a 2014 Supreme Court decision 18 It may be golden 19 Pianist Tatum 20 Like just-abovefreezing temperatures, in Celsius

22 Racetrack suggestion 25 2, 4, 6, 8, what do these approximate? 26 The Hamburglar’s catchphrase 30 Rallying cry against Cobra, perhaps 31 Chinese premier Zhou ___ 32 Karl Lagerfeld prop 35 Play ___ role 36 Subsequent to 37 “I can do that!” 38 D.C. ballplayer 39 Henry Doorly Zoo city

40 First two-time Nobelist 41 Foolish talk, to B.A. Baracus 43 1990s defense secretary Les 46 Thai appetizers on skewers 47 Through the efforts of 51 TV show taper, once 52 Evian waters 53 “Va-va-voom!” relative 58 Run in neutral 59 Pungent-tasting, in a way

Down 1 “No dice” 2 “The Name of the Rose” novelist Umberto 3 One W of WWW 4 “Uncle” of early TV 5 Philips who said “How many people here have telekinetic powers? Raise my hand” 6 Prefix for call or cop 7 Bookstore ID 8 Actor Diggs who coauthored the 2015 children’s book “Mixed Me!” 9 Do very well 10 Cheekbone enhancer 11 “I’m betting everything,” to poker players 12 Track events 14 ___ Beach, South Carolina 17 Creature born in 1982, according to the Weekly World News 21 Bagel and lox purveyor 22 Water pipe in a lounge (var.) 23 ___ d’art 24 Factory-made, as housing 26 Actor Gosling 27 “___ Good Ship

Lollipop” 28 Goes out of focus 29 Place to pick up glasses 32 1998 interactive toy with its own artificial language 33 First astrological sign 34 ___-do-well (slacker) 36 Diplomat’s title, for short 37 Forester automaker 39 Make like a pig 40 Like a memorable tune 41 Full of bad luck 42 Some Indonesians, by location 43 Used the dining room table 44 Untrustworthy 45 Comedian Poundstone 48 “Fish” or “CHiPs,” e.g. 49 Melt base 50 “In memoriam” writeup 54 Droid 55 Air___ (lodging website) 56 “Better Call Saul” star Odenkirk 57 “I could’ve had ___!” (juice slogan)

last week’s answers

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Willamette Week Classifieds JANUARY 27, 2016

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503-445-2757 • ©2016 Rob Brezsny

Week of January 28

ARIES (March 21-April 19) Do you know Emily Brontë’s novel Wuthering Heights? At one point, the heroine Catherine tells her friend about Edgar, a man she’s interested in. “He wanted all to lie in an ecstasy of peace,” Catherine says, “and I wanted all to sparkle and dance in a glorious jubilee. I said his heaven would be only half alive; and he said mine would be drunk: I said I should fall asleep in his; and he said he could not breathe in mine.” If you’re a typical Aries, you’re more aligned with Catherine than with Edgar. But I’m hoping you might consider making a temporary compromise in the coming weeks. “At last, we agreed to try both,” Catherine concluded, “and then we kissed each other and were friends.” TAURUS (April 20-May 20) People turn to you Tauruses for help in staying grounded. They love to soak up your down-to-earth pragmatism. They want your steadfastness to rub off on them, to provide them with the stability they see in you. You should be proud of this service you offer! It’s a key part of your appeal. Now and then, though, you need to demonstrate that your stalwart dependability is not static and stagnant -- that it’s strong exactly because it’s flexible and adaptable. The coming weeks will be an excellent time to emphasize this aspect of your superpower. GEMINI (May 21-June 20) When winter comes, pine trees that grow near mountaintops may not be able to draw water and minerals from the ground through their roots. The sustenance they require is frozen. Luckily, their needle-like leaves absorb moisture from clouds and fog, and drink in minerals that float on the wind. Metaphorically speaking, Gemini, this will be your preferred method for getting nourished in the coming weeks. For the time being, look UP to obtain what you need. Be fed primarily by noble ideals, big visions, divine inspiration, and high-minded people. CANCER (June 21-July 22) We all go through phases when we are at odds with people we love. Maybe we’re mad at them, or feel hurt by them, or can’t comprehend what they’re going through. The test of our commitment is how we act when we are in these moods. That’s why I agree with author Steve Hall when he says, “The truest form of love is how you behave toward someone, not how you feel about them.” The coming weeks will be an important time for you to practice this principle with extra devotion -- not just for the sake of the people you care about, but also for your own physical, mental, and spiritual health. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22) After fighting and killing each other for years on end, the Roman and Persian armies agreed to a truce in 532 A.D. The treaty was optimistically called “The Endless Peace.” Sadly, “endless” turned out to be just eight years. By 540, hostilities resumed. I’m happy to announce, though, that your prospects for accord and rapprochement are much brighter. If you work diligently to negotiate an endless peace anytime between now and March 15, it really is likely to last a long time. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) “I shiver, thinking how easy it is to be totally wrong about people, to see one tiny part of them and confuse it for the whole.” Author Lauren Oliver wrote that, and now I’m offering it to you, just in time for your Season of Correction and Adjustment. The coming weeks will be a favorable time for you to get smarter about evaluating your allies -- and maybe even one of your adversaries, as well. I expect you will find it relatively easy, even pleasurable, to overcome your misimpressions and deepen your incomplete understandings. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) In June 1942, the U.S. Navy crushed Japanese naval forces at the Battle of Midway. It was a turning point that was crucial to America’s ultimate victory over Japan in World War II. One military historian called it “the most stunning and decisive blow in the history of naval warfare.” This milestone occurred just six months after Japan’s devastating attack on U.S. forces at Pearl Harbor. To compare your life to these two events may be bombastic, but I’m in a bombastic mood as I contemplate your exciting possibilities. I predict that in the second

half of 2016, you’ll claim a victory that will make up for a loss or defeat you endured during the last few months of 2015. And right now is when you can lay the groundwork for that future triumph. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) Playwright Edmond Rostand (1868-1918) had a lot of friends, and they often came to visit him uninvited. He found it hard to simply tell them to go away and leave him alone. And yet he hated to be interrupted while he was working. His solution was to get naked and write for long hours while in his bathroom, usually soaking in the bathtub. His intrusive friends rarely had the nerve to insist on socializing. In this way, Rostand found the peace he needed to create his masterpiece Cyrano de Bergerac, as well as numerous other plays. I suggest you consider a comparable gambit, Scorpio. You need to carve out some quality alone time. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) “I opened my mouth, almost said something. Almost. The rest of my life might have turned out differently if I had. But I didn’t.” The preceding reminiscence belongs to a character in Khaled Hosseini’s novel The Kite Runner. I bring it up in hopes that you will do the opposite: Say the words that need to be said. Articulate what you’re burning to reveal. Speak the truths that will send your life on a course that’s in closer alignment with your pure intentions.

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CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) According to some traditional astrologers, you Capricorns are vigilant to avoid loss. Old horoscope books suggest that you may take elaborate measures to avoid endangering what you have accumulated. To ensure that you will never run out of what you need, you may even ration your output and limit your self-expression. This behavior is rooted in the belief that you should conserve your strength by withholding or even hiding your power. While there may be big grains of truth in this conventional view of you Capricorns, I think it’s only part of the story. In the coming weeks, for instance, I bet you will wield your clout with unabashed authority. You won’t save yourself for later; you’ll engage in no strategic self-suppression. Instead, you will be expansive and unbridled as you do whatever’s required to carry out the important foundation work that needs to be done. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) “It seems that the whole time you’re living this life, you’re thinking about a different one instead,” wrote Latvian novelist Inga Abele in her novel High Tide. Have you ever been guilty of that, Aquarius? Probably. Most of us have at one time or another. That’s the bad news. The good news is that the coming months will bring you excellent opportunities to graduate forever from this habit. Not all at once, but gradually and incrementally, you can shed the idea that you should be doing something other than what you’re doing. You can get the hang of what it’s like to thoroughly accept and embrace the life you are actually living. And now is an excellent time to get started in earnest on this project. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20) “Even nightingales can’t be fed on fairy tales,” says a character in Ivan Turgenev’s novel Fathers and Sons. In other words, these marvelous birds, which sing sublimely and have long been invoked by poets to symbolize lyrical beauty, need actual physical sustenance. They can’t eat dreamy stories. Having acknowledged that practical fact, however, I will suggest that right now you require dreamy stories and rambling fantasies and imaginary explorations almost as much as you need your daily bread. Your soul’s hunger has reached epic proportions. It’s time to gorge.

Homework What could you do to free your imagination from its bondage? Read “Liberate Your Imagination”:

check out Rob Brezsny’s Expanded Weekly Audio Horoscopes & Daily Text Message Horoscopes

The audio horoscopes are also available by phone at

1-877-873-4888 or 1-900-950-7700 Willamette Week Classifieds JANUARY 27, 2016





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42 13 willamette week, january 27, 2016  
42 13 willamette week, january 27, 2016