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The characters {3 are intended to be read as a heart emoticon. 7

Hawthorne is now awash in

A Zambezi river crocodile once almost ate local lion hunter Doug Stromberg. But Stromberg escaped. Sigh. 11

Of course there is now a hipster podcast answer to The Jerky Boys. 25

One activist started a petition asking Obama to try Garrison Keillor for high treason and sabotage. 19

An ex-Oregon State hoops player is trying to hustle the good people of Eastmoreland out of a couple hundred thousand bucks. 21


supermarket sushi counters. 23

An author who claims to have sold a million copies of his first book is selling his new work out of the trunk of his car. 37 If you want give money to a homeless filmmaker who robbed a bank using a camcorder, there is a place. 40


Man behind the mask by alexander Barrett.

Most people still love old portland Mayor Bud Clark, and blame Portlandia for the rise of new portland.

STAFF Editor & Publisher Mark Zusman EdiTorial News Editor Pro Tem Aaron Mesh Arts & Culture Editor Martin Cizmar Staff Writers Nigel Jaquiss, Beth Slovic Copy Chief Rob Fernas Copy Editors Matt Buckingham, James Yu Stage & Screen Editor Enid Spitz Projects Editor Matthew Korfhage Music Editor Matthew Singer Web Editor Lizzy Acker Books James Helmsworth

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Willamette Week AUGUST 26, 2015



“Mark Wiener has never lobbied me on this or any Dave Dahl, congrats on the great success of your issue,” Hales says. company and building such a wonderful and Bwahahahahahaha! And pigs fly! valuable brand in an amazingly short period of —Dave Lister time [Hotseat, WW, Aug. 19, If we lie to the government, it’s a fel2015]. ony. But if they lie to us, it’s politics You guys did the right thing as usual. They are a bunch of unethiby realizing the brand was cal bums. getting large enough that it —Raymond Rochè was time to bring on another partner (happens to all companies, but only a few have the TAXING PORTLAND’S self-awareness to realize it). RECYCLING Perfect timing on the recent I don’t understand how taxing a recysale as well. clable, beneficial (don’t have to dig “Best of Best of luck with staying on up and use virgin soil) material makes the straight and narrow. Metro “transparent” and “sustainable.” luck with —“JT” [“Reduce, Reuse, Redefine,” WW, Aug. staying on 2015]. Those are just buzz words. the straight 19,What Nowhere in this interview they really want to “sustain” is does Dahl express any sym- and narrow.” their cash flow by changing the definipathy or remorse or apologize tion if an industry accepted recyclable for having nearly killed several to “garbage” so they can tax it. Their people. He does talk a lot about his mental con- motives are “transparent” to me. dition, how bad things were for him, and how —“Citizen” he is going to do great things for people without NOSTALGIC FOR OLD MUSICFEST being a rock star. In other words, it’s not his fault, it was worse I miss the old MFNW [MusicfestNW, WW, Aug. for him than for others, and he thinks of himself 19, 2015]. For people who prefer to see bands as a rock star. in intimate club settings, it was ideal. Also, the —“Completely Dished” whole town came alive because there was music happening all over—for five days, not just a weekHALES + WIENER = UBER DEAL? end. It was special; now it is just another festival [Charlie] Hales says there’s no conflict. [“Backseat on the waterfront. Driver,” WW, Aug. 19, 2015.] —“Pollo” To Portland’s mayor from Clark County—yes, there is a conflict, but since you have next to zero LETTERS TO THE EDITOR must include the author’s street address and phone number for verification. ethics, you would not know a conflict of interest Letters must be 250 or fewer words. if it hit you in the face. Submit to: 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Fax: (503) 243-1115. Email: —“JaimieC”

My wife and I were walking across the Steel Bridge when a booming voice yelled at us to stop. Frightened, we ran the rest of the way across, which made the voice even angrier. We then saw a yacht coming up the river—why not make him stop? —Alan

Does anybody besides me remember those commercials God did for Drano back in the early ’80s? A housewife is bemoaning her clogged drains when suddenly the house starts shaking and a deep, powerful voice from above says something like, “SUSAN! USE CRYSTAL DRANO!” I’m told that God fired his agent not long after this, but it just goes to show how supernatural voices from above—presumably privy to useful secrets like the meaning of life and tomorrow’s Powerball numbers—only manifest to tell us boring, mundane things. 4

Willamette Week AUGUST 26, 2015

The experience you describe, Alan, is relatively common. However, your story omits one important detail: You were almost certainly trying to hustle across the drawbridge span after the warning lights had started flashing. I know because the same thing happened to me, albeit on the Hawthorne Bridge. The lights were flashing, the gates were down, but the bridge wasn’t moving. It had been five minutes—was it stuck? Was it broken? Whatever; I slipped under the gate and began to walk across. That’s when I heard the terrifying voice from above. Really? All the shit I’ve done in my life, and God decides to strike me down for jaywalking? Like you, I panicked, ran across, and got away with it, though I was later smitten with toenail fungus. As for the yacht, U.S. maritime law—written at a time when the automobile seemed about as economically significant as a Segway—gives river traffic priority. Draws are to be opened promptly for any “raft, steamboat, or other watercraft.” QUESTIONS? Send them to

Willamette Week AUGUST 26, 2015


SCHOOLS: A gay staffer gets dumped by St. Mary’s Academy. COURTS: A Salem lawyer hunts the Web’s movie pirates. OUTDOORS: This Oregon man shot a lion. Two, actually. COVER STORY: Can group therapy stop domestic abusers?

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Organized labor and Democratic politicians have long held each other in a warm embrace. But the 2016 political season is beginning with fractiousness. Trade unions, angered by congressional Democrats’ support for the Trans-Pacific Partnership, have excluded U.S. Sen. Ron Wyden and Reps. Earl Blumenauer and Suzanne Bonamici from the Labor Day picnic BONAMICI at Oaks Park, the traditional kickoff to election season. The Northwest Labor Press first reported the exclusion. Mayor Charlie Hales also felt heat last week from scuttling the Pembina propane terminal in May. At the Oregon Building Trades Council convention Aug. 21, members passed a resolution urging Hales to again support the Pembina project. Hales attended the group’s cocktail party that evening but left before the Council’s 75th anniversary banquet. “He was not invited to our convention or our dinner,” says OBTC executive secretary John Mohlis. Hales’ spokesman, Dana Haynes, says the mayor never planned to attend. As Oregon Republicans struggle to find even one credible candidate to compete for the five statewide offices on the 2016 ballot, the culmination of a long-running state investigation this week exposed conflicts that have split the GOP. State Sen. Brian Boquist (R-Dallas) in May 2014 filed lengthy elections complaints against Oregon Right to Life, the powerhouse behind the party’s conservative wing, and state Rep. Mike Nearman (R-Independence), whom ORTL supported in the 2014 primary defeat of incumbent Rep. Jim Thompson. Although Boquist alleged numerous violations, Oregon Elections Division investigators sustained only a couple of relatively minor infractions. The result emphasizes and leaves unhealed a bitter intra-party conflict. Boquist says he hasn’t yet read the Aug. 21 decision. Mark Wiener’s dual roles as campaign consultant to Mayor Hales and lobbyist for ride-hailing company Uber are under scrutiny at Portland City Hall, as reported by WW in recent weeks. Now it appears Uber isn’t Wiener’s only corporate client. Commissioner Nick Fish says Wiener approached him about a year ago, saying he was working for Google, which is seeking to bring its fast Internet service, Google Fiber, to Portland. It’s not clear whether Wiener’s work falls under Portland’s 2006 rules requiring lobbyists to disclose their contacts with public officials. Google hasn’t listed Wiener in its lobbying reports to the city. Wiener did not respond to WW’s request for comment. Read more Murmurs and daily scuttlebutt.



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Lauren Brown seemed a perfect match for St. Mary’s Academy. The 27-year-old from Bloomington, Ind., graduated in 2010 with a math degree from Lewis & Clark College. She made such a strong impression that Lewis & Clark hired her right after graduation to work in the admissions department, where her boss says she excelled. After five years there, Brown decided she wanted to work more directly with students and decided to take a pay cut to work at St. Mary’s as a college counselor. St. Mary’s has long been one of the state’s top prep schools. Although the downtown Portland all-girls’ high school is Catholic, St. Mary’s served girls from all backgrounds since its founding in 1859. The school’s mission statement pledges “a diverse community” with a “dedication to social justice.” Brown was thrilled in April when St. Mary’s offered her a job for the fall term. “I honestly visualized my entire life there during my interview,” she says. “Retirement seems like the only reason anyone ever leaves St. Mary’s.” Then, during the summer, Brown told a top school official that she was gay. That changed everything. Documents Brown shared with WW show St. Mary’s withdrew its job offer this month—and promised Brown a year’s salary and benefits to keep her quiet. Brown declined. “To sign a contract that’s going to affect the rest of my life, and my passion for advocating for LGBT youth and LGBT people—there’s no way I could sign that,” Brown says. “I could never live with myself.” St. Mary’s longtime leader says she had to withdraw Brown’s contract to remain loyal to Catholic doctrine. “We understand that others may hold different values, and we respect the right of individuals in society to do so,” school president Christina Friedhoff said in a statement. “At the same time, as a Catholic high school, we are obligated to follow current Catholic teachings regarding same-sex marriage in our employment practices.” There’s a problem with that explanation. Brown says she’s not married or engaged to her girlfriend— she says she merely asked in July what would happen if she got married. A lawyer for St. Mary’s disagrees, saying Brown told school officials she planned to marry her girlfriend this fall. Records show the school asked her to sign a separation agreement saying her “intent to enter into a same-sex marriage” was why she lost her job. Brown’s lawyer, Gloria Trainor, says the school is splitting hairs. “Supporting same-sex marriage is the way you support and respect same-sex relationships,” Trainor says. “You can’t have one without the other.” Same-sex marriage has been legal in Oregon since May of 2014. Portland Archbishop Alexander K. Sample has decried the legalization. He issued a statement this week to WW supporting St. Mary’s “in upholding the teachings of the Catholic Church.”

ST. ELSEWHERE: Lauren Brown says St. Mary’s Academy withdrew her contract after learning she has a girlfriend. “It hurts a lot,” she says, “to be told, ‘We will offer you your full year’s salary for you to not do your job.’”

Brown’s dismissal places St. Mary’s in the center of a national fight about when religious organizations can claim they’re exempt from anti-discrimination laws. It also threatens to open rifts at a Catholic high school where lesbian students are welcome, but LGBT faculty must remain in the closet. “Some of my dearest colleagues in social justice came out of St. Mary’s,” says Jeanna Frazzini, co-director of Basic Rights Oregon, the state’s largest LGBT advocacy group. “When folks at the school hear about what’s happening, they’ll be concerned—and they’ll want to see significant changes.” St. Mary’s initially embraced Brown. Principal Kelli Clark welcomed Brown to the school staff in May. Clark added a handwritten note to the letter: “Lauren—you are going to have so much fun here!” St. Mary’s sent her a contract in July. On July 22, Brown received an email from an administrator, asking her to complete a biography. “Tell us about your spouse,” says the email Brown showed WW. “Tell us about your children. Talk to us about YOU! It’s your choice as to what you would like to share!” The next day, Brown says, Clark called to encourage Brown to consider applying for an even more prominent job, director of admissions. Brown says she asked Clark in that phone call what she should say in her biography, since she has a girlfriend. Brown also asked: Would she be allowed to bring her girlfriend to school events? What if she got married? She says Clark told her that was uncharted territory, but that Clark would support her. Brown says Clark called back July 30 with a different message: “It may not work out.” Brown met with Clark and Friedhoff at St. Mary’s on Aug. 4. She says the meeting lasted more than three hours, with both women pressuring her to sign a separation agreement that offered her six months’ salary in

return for a promise not to sue the school or talk about why she lost the job. The agreement, which Brown showed to WW, included a script for Brown to follow. “Brown may post on her social media pages the following statement to describe her separation from St. Mary’s: ‘Friends, I want to let you all know I will no longer be at St. Mary’s in the fall. Please message me if you know of any jobs available. {3’” (The two characters at the end of the statement were intended by the school to read as a heart emoticon, Brown says.) The agreement also said Brown could give the following reply if people asked why she had been dismissed: “I learned that my intent to enter into a samesex marriage is in conflict with the teachings of the Catholic church.” St. Mary’s attorney Scott Seidman says Brown asked for these statements. Brown says they were written by school officials. When Brown pushed back, the school increased its offer to a full year’s salary, $41,538, plus benefits. Brown left the meeting without signing. She called Gloria Trainor, a friend she has since hired as her attorney. Brown says she hasn’t decided whether to sue St. Mary’s. Friedhoff says St. Mary’s continues to value diversity. “This is not an easy situation,” she says. “As with all matters of faith, we strive to live out the values of the Gospel while struggling with the complexities of today’s world.” Brown says she hopes by telling her story instead of taking the money, she’ll set an example for St. Mary’s students not to be ashamed of who they are. She also hopes her experience will open eyes to discrimination taking place in one of the nation’s most gay-friendly cities. “Portlanders need to know that it’s happening right here,” Brown says. “It’s not just in a small town in Pennsylvania, or Indiana or Texas. This is Portland.” E M I LY J O A N G R E E N E


Willamette Week AUGUST 26, 2015





Charles Castle’s first instinct was to ignore the letter when it arrived at his Eugene home. The two pages were mostly legalese and technical jargon, and said he was being sued for theft—specifically, for downloading a copy of an obscure American-Romanian drama called The Necessary Death of Charlie Countryman. Castle, 34, had heard of cases like this, in which socalled “copyright troll” lawyers send letters to hundreds of people, hoping to make fast cash via a quick out-ofcourt settlement with the few who reply. He’d heard the best course of action was to ignore such letters. So that’s what Castle did. But the letters kept coming. “He contacted me once per day until I responded,” Castle says. Castle was in the cross hairs of Carl Crowell, a oneman police force for Hollywood studios seeking to protect the value of their movies. He’s waging a battle against a widespread belief many Internet users hold: that content should be free, regardless of who produced it or under what conditions. Crowell, a 46-year-old Salem lawyer, has become notorious in Oregon for suing people like Castle who have illegally downloaded films and TV shows from the Web. His best-known claims are on behalf of a California studio called Voltage Pictures, primarily for theft of its 2013 hit Dallas Buyers Club, which Crowell says has been illegally shared more than 83,000 times in Oregon. He’s hardly the only lawyer chasing Internet pirates for cash. But he stands out for a few key reasons. He works on behalf of a handful of small to midsized mainstream movie studios, while copyright trolls generally target people who download porn. He doesn’t take a mailing-list approach, instead taking careful aim at the worst offenders. Finally, and perhaps most notably: Crowell tends to win. “The media calls what I do a scam, a fraud. There are 8

Willamette Week AUGUST 26, 2015

DALLAS STEALERS CLUB: Carl Crowell (above) sues people who illegally share movies like Dallas Buyers Club (below). “I only have so much time, and I try to go after the most egregious parties,” Crowell says. “Do it long enough and I’ll get to you, so stop.”

stories online that tell people the worst thing you can do is respond,” Crowell says, “but it’s not a problem that’s going to go away by being ignored.” In the past three years, Crowell has won nearly 80 cases for his six client studios, with many more pending. Although there are a few other lawyers working on retainer for midsized studios elsewhere in the country, Crowell and other local lawyers say he’s the only one in Oregon. Yet Crowell has never taken one of these copyright lawsuits to trial. Instead, he’s won when his targets agreed to pay a settlement—typically $7,500. Critics question whether Crowell’s tactics are effective at preventing theft. Kevin Bons, a Eugene lawyer who has been on the opposite side of one of Crowell’s cases, says he doubts the individual approach will work as intended. He says most

of those involved in illegal downloading—also called “torrenting”—have no money. “In my experience, the majority of torrenting is done by teens and people under 25, and that’s a population segment that usually has no ability to pay,” Bons says. “Crowell’s targets are folks who have the ability to reach a settlement, so that strategy has no chance at stopping large-scale online piracy.” Crowell targets heavy users of software called BitTorrent, which downloads large files quickly. It does so by reassembling small pieces grabbed from many other computers simultaneously, allowing users to search and download content without paying the owner. Crowell says pursuing the biggest offenders reduces piracy in two ways. First, unplugging the most prolific pirates decreases the effectiveness of BitTorrent, which relies on many people having copies of the movie ready to share. Secondly, it acts as a deterrent against future piracy. “If you just download and don’t upload, you don’t cross my radar,” he says. “I’m interested in persistent involvement over several months.” Crowell says the U.S. economy loses $70 billion each year to online piracy, although official estimates are harder to pin down. “The BitTorrent economy is destroying the middle class in the movie industry,” Crowell says. “Big studios will continue to survive—they can capitalize on marketing and theater revenue.” Crowell says he doesn’t see pirates as the real villains. His enemy is the BitTorrent infrastructure that enables the theft of content, as well as the behind-the-scenes individuals who profit from the theft by selling ads on torrent-listing websites like the Pirate Bay. “Torrenting sites make millions through advertising,” he says. “They’re like chop shops—they sell $20 million of content for $1 million. $19 million evaporates.” But the global nature of the Internet keeps those sites and their hosts out of Crowell’s reach. So Crowell and his client studios are trying to dismantle the system from the other end, by stopping individual users. “People used to litter as a matter of course. Now we want to be responsible,” he says. “That’s what’s happening now in our online environment. Maybe in five years, you’ll see kids saying, ‘Wait, that’s stealing.’” Crowell, who has been practicing law in Salem for



“The BiTTorrenT economy is desTroying The middle class in The movie indusTry.” —carl crowell

15 years, had taken Internet-related cases in the past but got started on movie piracy in 2013, when Voltage Pictures hired him. He says he gets more requests to take such cases than he can handle. Like all piracy lawyers, he starts with raw data. A torrent file lists the unique IP addresses of each the connected computers, which are publicly visible to anyone using BitTorrent— something Crowell says most people don’t understand. “There is no anonymity online,” he says. “If you want to pirate content, you have to do so publicly.” The studios buy that data in bulk from a service that scrapes the lists from popular torrents and narrows it down by location. Crowell then begins the slow process of identifying the most prolific torrenters and compiling a list of all their downloads. When the record is complete, Crowell will subpoena the pirate’s Internet service provider to get the address holder’s name. The provider usually also sends the person a warning letter. If the person doesn’t stop, then Crowell will move in with a copyright complaint. It can take up to 90 days to determine a subscriber’s name, plus more time to verify whether the subscriber is the pirate, so Crowell works on several cases at once. When Crowell files a claim in U.S. District Court, he asks for statutory damages plus his own legal costs. If the target admits to Crowell that they pirated the content, that’s where it stops—along with a legal agreement to stop using BitTorrent. But people often deny guilt or blame others, such as a visitor stealing the user’s Wi-Fi. Crowell’s demands start to increase if a person continues to deny their torrenting activity despite contradictory evidence. So far, every case has eventually ended in a settlement, but Crowell says he doesn’t move forward unless he’s confident he can win in court. “Think of it as a police car chase,” Crowell says. “When they get you, you can’t go back and just take the speeding ticket.” Crowell’s legal opponents express grudging respect for him. “My sense of Carl is, he doesn’t want a payment unless the infringement actually occurred,” says Lake Perriguey, an attorney for several defendants Crowell pursued. “He’s not interested in money, primarily.” Others view him as more of a double-edged sword. “Every case is a one-off case, which makes it tougher on both sides,” says Seattle lawyer Benjamin Justus, another frequent opponent. “He’s fair but tends to drive sort of a hard bargain.” Crowell and Castle eventually reached a settlement of $4,500. Castle’s not happy about what amounts to a very expensive movie ticket, and says he still thinks of Crowell as a copyright troll. Crowell says people like Castle don’t like to be held accountable. “We come up with derogatory names for any figure of authority we disagree with,” he says. “At the end of the day, he was stealing my client’s content.” Willamette Week AUGUST 26, 2015


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Willamette Week AUGUST 26, 2015

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- Enrico Rava - Steve Tibbetts - Tim Berne’s Snake Oil - David Turn - Ralph Towner - Trio Mediaeval - Mark Turner - Eberhard Weber - Robin Williamson

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Last month, a Minnesota dentist named Walter Palmer became infamous for killing a lion named Cecil in Zimbabwe. The king of the jungle often winds up in the cross hairs of high-paying hunters. In the past five years, according to federal records, Americans brought home more than 200 dead lions. Doug Stromberg, 67, one of the most prolific big-game hunters in the Northwest, is among the few Oregonians who knows what it feels like to shoot a lion. Stromberg says he’s shot 300 species of animals. Among his most notable kills: hippos, leopards—and two lions, the last in 2007. Stromberg is no defender of Palmer, but he says critics fail to understand that the dollars Western hunters bring to impoverished countries provide a vital alternative to native poaching. “Without hunting, animals wouldn’t exist,” Stromberg says. Stromberg, who owns a warehouse supply company in Donald, Ore., says he’s a conservationist, and he touts hunting’s life-affirming qualities. He once sponsored a 7-year-old leukemia patient who wished to kill a sheep. Stromberg says he follows strict guidelines: He avoids shooting female animals, and he would never shoot a giraffe or gorilla (“even if it were legal”). He focuses on the biggest, oldest males, a practice called trophy hunting. WW talked with Stromberg in a conference room at his offices, where elk, buffalo and African longhorn heads are mounted on the walls.

LION KING: Doug Stromberg says he has hunted in Africa a dozen or more times. “Hunting is just something that’s in you or it’s not in you,” he says.

WW: Could you tell us about the last lion you killed? Doug Stromberg: We had looked for this particular lion for seven or eight days. We finally got a call saying, “We’ve seen lion tracks, and we think it’s him.” So we got there and the tracker was sitting there pointing. This thing was close, in a full, crouched attack position at 22 yards in the grass.

You were with a professional hunter and a team of trackers. Did that lion have a fair chance? Of course it did. It took me seven or eight days to find him. A person who does their homework and works hard at something, usually it looks easy to the outside world. I do my homework.

“It’s kInd of lIke hIttIng one out of the park, or wInnIng the super Bowl.” What were you thinking before pulling the trigger? What I do generally: Once I spot the animal and I know that it’s one I’m going to take, I look away for a split second and I just go, “It’s show time. Don’t mess it up.” It isn’t like, “Oh, this is what I dreamed of,” and I get all nervous. There’s no time to be excited. When I hunt dangerous game, I slow down as far as I possibly can. The first shot was a killing shot. Then he whirled around and started to run. I hit him right in the back of the head. Boom—it was over. What did you feel when you saw him drop? You feel relief that you did what you should do, and elation that you got a fine trophy. It’s kind of like hitting one out of the park, or winning the Super Bowl.

What’s the closest you’ve come to an animal killing you? Probably a Za mbezi river crocodile, about 12 feet long. When I shot him, I didn’t know I hadn’t hit him perfectly. I had to go bring him to the truck with some trackers. So I tied a rope around him, and I started walking upriver with him. The oxygen started going into him, and he came back alive. He whipped his tail and almost got me in the back of the leg. And then he pulled around with his mouth, and all the trackers left because they thought this was really a bad deal. So I was sitting there roped to this croc, and the hunting guide finally gave me a pistol. I got him, so he was finished. Why do you hunt? I hunt because it’s in my DNA. I trophy hunt because I want to pit my wits against

the animal on his terms, in his territory. I get a calming effect from hunting. I think it’s part of the cycle of life—or it used to be. Dinner used to start with a straight shot, not going to get a Big Mac. Why do you think people criticize sport hunting? Hunting has almost been bred out of most Americans. The kids are not taught. Most of the colleges have liberal professors, not that that’s bad or good. But they’ve never hunted before. They don’t really understand the logic of it. If you give something value, you have a shot at saving it, if you can get the indigenous people to go along with it. It costs a certain amount to hunt animals, and usually a decent camp will have 40 or 50 native employees. What do you think of the dentist who killed Cecil? If I saw a lion like that, I’d have to question the situation. First off, he was 13. Lions don’t last that long in the wild. They do if they’re in a park, like he was. If they baited him out of the park, throw the book at them. If you could go back to Africa and shoot another lion, would you? Probably not. I’ve already shot two, and that’s enough. Same thing with elephants. I told myself I’d shoot an elephant, a bull elephant, once, and I did. Would I go kill lion after lion after lion because I get a big charge out of it? No, that’s the furthest thing from what I do.

Willamette Week AUGUST 26, 2015




Brian thinks he’s in relapse. The 48-year-old lawyer perches on a brown pleather couch and booms in his reliably loud voice to the five other men in the therapy room on a sweltering Thursday evening in July. His wife shares few of his goals, he says. He wants action, excitement and career success. She’s content with her modest office job, watching movies, gardening. “As far as I feel like I’ve come,” he tells the group, “I still feel like I have a deep well of contempt in my marriage.” The other men sitting around Brian—with his red golf shirt and Birkenstocks and his full, brown hair—nod. He may indeed be in relapse. But Brian hasn’t fallen back into alcohol or drugs or gambling. Brian may be sliding back into another dangerous pattern: abusing his wife. The dozen or so men who come and go from Brian’s group include doctors, holders of Ph.D.s, engineers and business executives—educated men with good jobs, nice houses and seemingly picture-perfect families. None has ever been arrested for domestic violence. Yet each man meeting here at Allies in Change, a nonprofit counseling center in unincorporated Washington County, has harmed his wife or children. Not necessarily by physical violence—although some have. Each has rained hell on his family with shouts, threats or bullying. The vast majority of dangerous husbands and fathers who end up in counseling groups such as this one are forced to attend by the order of a court or child welfare agency. Not these men. Most of their behavior—manipulation, narcissism, guilt-tripping—would never be considered criminal. All but one arrived voluntarily, albeit reluctantly, after being told by a wife or therapist that their abuse had to stop. That they, and not their families, shouldered the blame for their hurtful ways. In weekly sessions, the men parse their feelings, trading stories about marital misunderstandings in the vernacular of self-help books. Men talk of refilling their wives’ emotional reservoirs, and swimming in the “relational pool.”


Willamette Week AUGUST 26, 2015

But as Brian vents, a question hangs in the room: Do those new words mean he will stop abusing his wife? “You’re trying to change a lifetime of behavior,” Brian says. “It’s hard to turn 30 or 40 years on its ear.”


ost do-gooders working to end domestic violence wouldn’t know what to do with Brian—or whether he was worth saving. About 6 percent of women in the Portland area will experience abuse this year, according to the National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey. That’s in keeping with national statistics. (See chart on page 15.) In Portland, a host of services that grew out of the feminist movement aid only victims of domestic violence, mostly women. Abusers don’t garner a lot of sympathy, and there remains a great deal of skepticism that anything short of prison can stop a batterer from harming his next victim. “He’s trying to save his relationship,” says Lundy Bancroft, a national expert and author on domestic violence, about why he doubts the sincerity of men who aren’t under court order. “He doesn’t want to change.” Dozens of programs in the state work with abusive men. Just a few offer groups open only to so-called “voluntary” men, those who’ve never been arrested. Chris Huffine runs one: Allies in Change in Cedar Hills. “If you want to solve domestic violence, you have to treat perpetrators,” Huffine says. “If you just treat victims, you create new places for new victims to be abused.” He knows advocates for survivors sometimes eye him suspiciously, as if he’s coddling the bad guys. Huffine, who’s practiced in Portland for 23 years, disagrees—and he was willing to open his doors to prove it. Huffine and his clients allowed WW an extraordinary view into their therapy. We attended eight two-hour group sessions as men ages 32 to 70 talked about their histories as abusers, their efforts to take responsibility for their actions, and their struggles to repair the harm they’ve caused. They had one condition: that we not reveal their identities. The sessions revealed these abusers—whose names have been changed—at their most candid: what they say to each other and what they think about themselves. The sessions also revealed many of the men as still struggling to face up to the angry impulses and coercive tendencies that have brought them into this room. CONT. on page 14



I Abuse My Wife

Willamette Week AUGUST 26, 2015





he Allies in Change therapy room sits on the first floor of a gray Cedar Hills office building next to Highway 26, around the corner from the Sunset Strip Gentlemen’s Club and a DMV branch. On this Thursday evening when Brian announces he’s in relapse, five men enter the therapy room, some clutching paper cups of warm tea, and take their seats in maroon office chairs. Inspirational posters—a snowy streetscape, a tropical waterfall and a volcano with orange, glowing lava—hang from the beige walls. “You are a role model to your children,” one reads. “Is there anything you’d like to change?” Brian has memorized every word. Huffine opens the session by prompting each man to offer a full reckoning of their past abuse. All of them have recounted their histories many times before. John, a 59-year-old construction manager who keeps his thinning hair in a buzz cut, has been married 39 years to his high-school sweetheart. The couple no longer shares a bedroom. “I would try to make her feel sorry for me,” John tells the group, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees and his hands folded together. “If she balked, I would bring up an example of where I gave into her.” Mark, 48, describes himself as a tech worker. He has been married more than 20 years. “My go-to is verbal—raising my voice,” he says. He targets his children, too. “When I felt they hadn’t done what they were supposed to do, I really shamed them,” he says. “‘You can’t do the one thing I asked you to do before you go out and play?’” Larry, a Portland doctor in his 50s, is more blunt. “I’m particularly good at putdowns, scoldings, giving people the silent treatment and shaming,” he says. To many, little of this behavior would appear to be domestic violence. Partly, that’s because the men are often unreliable narrators of their own abuse. “We have the Disney version of stories in here,” Huffine says. “The R-rated is what you get when you talk to the women.” It’s also because the public understanding of domestic violence has evolved beyond physical assault in recent years. Name-calling, belittling and shaming constitute abuse, if the acts are ongoing and severe. And, in fact, that type of subtle abuse can hurt just as much as physical violence. “It’s not as clear-cut,” says Annie Neal, Multnomah County’s coordinator of domestic violence prevention programs, “but those things can be really devastating.” (Are you an abuser? See sidebar, page 15.) The men know that the stories they tell here


in his 50s Many abusers hide their bad behavior at home. Larry, a Portland doctor, lashed out at his wife—and co-workers. In public, Larry yelled at colleagues over scheduling snafus, belittled their analysis of patients’ needs, cut them down with sarcastic remarks. In private, Larry exerted power over his wife, even on their honeymoon. They were on a cruise. Larry wanted to go to a dinner show. His wife, Susan, wanted to sit on the boat deck and talk. He grabbed her arm and shouted: “I didn’t spend all this money on this cruise for you to be complaining!” Once, Susan asked Larry about 14

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only hint at the depths of their problems. Each knows the insults he’s hurled at his wife, the times he ignored her, overruled her or barked at her— have added up over the years. Each also knows the potential for physical violence is real. Brian, the lawyer, also speaks on this night. He doesn’t sugarcoat. Brian tells the men about a trip to Disneyland years earlier, when his son was 8. Even after a long day in the theme park, the boy buzzed around the hotel room giddily. Brian wanted peace and quiet. “I picked him up,” he says flatly. “I held him up over my head, and I slammed him onto the bed. ‘Enough,’ I told him. “That scared everyone,” Brian says. No one in the therapy room says anything. Nobody has to.


rian first spotted his wife, Sarah, 15 years ago at Mount Tabor Park as he let his dog run in the off-leash area. And she noticed him. Days later, on St. Patrick’s Day, they ran into each other at an Irish pub. “You’re that guy with that dog,” she said. Brian recalls thinking, “Girls that remember my dog get my attention.” Their relationship rocketed forward, and the first few months were, in Sarah’s words, “pretty perfect.” Both were in their 30s, never married. About a year after they started dating, though, Sarah told him she was pregnant. “You’re welcome to go,” she told him. “I’d love for you to stay, but I’m going to do this.” She waited for an answer. Brian, who’d grown up in a suburban Midwestern family, hesitated. He came around weeks later. “I was raised to believe that’s what I should have done,” he says. “I’m in,” he told her. Sarah soon saw flashes of Brian’s bullying— teaching her a lesson at every opportunity. “He would find 10 ways to tell me whatever the thing was that I was trying to stand up for was wrong,” she recalls. “So, OK, fine. I’m wrong. I’m done. Let’s go.” Sarah never felt good about the way arguments ended. “I wasn’t wrong all the time,” she says. Money was often a source of Brian’s explosions. Sarah—who says she deferred nursing school to help Brian focus on his career—was the one who paid the bills. She once paid a Visa bill late, incurring a $35 fee. Brian erupted. “Brian has such high expectations of me, our son, and himself,” Sarah says. “When one of us doesn’t fulfill those expectations, it triggers something in him.” “I had my own private world and she wasn’t

their weekend plans. They were still newlyweds. “You don’t understand,” he told her, “when I’m with you, you’re on borrowed time.” The couple discovered they were infertile. Doctors told them it was Larry’s problem—a shortcoming that damaged his sense of manhood. “I just felt like I was

“You don’t understand,” he told her, “when I’m with you, you’re on borrowed time.” dead,” he says. Expensive fertility treatments not covered by health insurance followed. “With every [in vitro fertilization], I’d remind my wife how

much we spent,” Larry says. “And then when it failed, I’d literally cry over the money, never mind the fact that she had had a procedure, was hurting and was in pain.” Susan recalls, “He would get furiously angry, scream, yell and storm off.” Susan begged Larry to seek counseling with her. “They’re going to blame me for everything,” he told her. Finally, a superior at work stepped in. He ordered Larry to seek treatment. Larry entered Huffine’s group in 2001. He’s never left. That’s not because he’s still struggling. Susan remains married to Larry and says he’s changed. Larry, who kept his job and was promoted, stays in therapy because he wants to make even more progress. “I came to save my job,” Larry says. “I ended up saving my marriage.”


complying with it,” he says. “It was her fault, and she needed to learn a lesson and be taught a lesson.” Six years ago, they vacationed in Mexico. Brian and Sarah were drinking, and today neither recalls what started the fight. “He just blew a fuse,” she says. Brian grabbed her and threw her around the hotel room, she says. “I sat on the bed,” Sarah says, “and he pushed me off.” She slept on the floor, and the next morning woke up with bruises. “I can apologize for my part of it,” Brian told her later that day, “but you need to, too.” Sarah says she had no idea what sent Brian off “this crazy, crazy ledge.” But she apologized to him anyway. Weeks after they returned from Mexico, the couple sought counseling. A therapist sent Brian to Huffine.


1. Does your relationship feel collaborative?

If you make all the decisions—how much money to spend, what’s for dinner, where your family goes for vacation—that’s at least a warning sign that you’re not taking your partner’s concerns or interests into account.

2. What happens when your partner expresses an opinion different than yours?

Let’s say you want Chinese food for dinner, and your partner wants Italian. If you feel like you can’t possibly compromise or you have to “win,” that’s dangerous. It means you put yourself above others—at least those inside your own home.

causes, including an activist group for men against rape. He earned a doctorate in psychology at the Virginia Consortium Program in Clinical Psychology, a joint program in Norfolk of three Virginia universities. Huffine then moved to Portland in 1991. Soon he saw an ad seeking a therapist to work with abusive men at Men’s Resource Center, a Portland agency that offered counseling. Huffine confidently told his interviewer he’d done a great deal of research on anger-management problems. “Just so you know,’” the interviewer replied, “we don’t see this as a problem with anger. We see this as a problem with power and control.” The response proved to be a turning point for Huffine. “That was the very first time I’d heard those terms,” he says, “and that’s what started me on my journey.” Huffine is divorced, but in a relationship. He’s still close with his ex.

He believes society’s rigid understanding of masculinity—one that often rejects feminine qualities such as relationshipbuilding and emotional awareness—plays a significant role in shaping men’s behavior and trapping them in abusive patterns. He calls this “the Man Box.” On another Thursday evening, Brian tells the group about an episode that morning with his wife. He was hurrying off to work when she mentioned her boss was leaving. She was upset. “Are you going to apply for her job?” Brian wanted to know. “Maybe this is the kick in the pants you need.” Later, Sarah sent him an email: “I didn’t want you to solve my problem. I just wanted you to listen.” “How do you know,” Brian asked the men, “when she just wants you to listen?”

Oregon 37.3%

561,000 victims

Washington 1,094,000 victims

Anyone can have a bad day. Couples can have nasty fights but still have healthy relationships, the same way a nonalcoholic can occasionally get drunk. But if you frequently berate, scold or silence your partner when she disagrees with you, you have a problem.

4. Is your partner afraid of you?

If your partner or your children walk on eggshells to avoid triggering a blowup, they’re afraid of you.

5. Do the people closest to you think there’s a problem?

CONT. on page 16

Percentage of women who will experience rape, physical violence or stalking by an intimate partner in their lifetime, plus the estimated number of victims.


3. Is there an ongoing pattern of bad behavior in your relationship?


U.S. Average


42,420,000 total victims


4,563,000 victims



uffine, 51, keeps a photograph of Martin Luther King Jr. in his office and a box of “macho tissues” above his desk. (“Extra large, extra strong,” the box reads, “for blood or sweat, but never tears.”) In the relatively small world of domestic violence prevention in Oregon, Huffine is a central figure. He serves on a state advisory group for batterer intervention programs, teaches at Portland State University and advises state leaders on reducing domestic violence fatalities. Huffine grew up the son of a teacher and a bookkeeper in Chicago’s liberal Hyde Park neighborhood, and he recalls rejecting thinking in “boys vs. girls” terms early on. At Carleton College in Minnesota, he majored in psychology and joined feminist

Are You Abusing Your Significant Other? Guys, look in the mirror. Domestic violence plagues heterosexual and same-sex couples. Women can be perpetrators, as well as victims. More often, however, abuse comes at the hands of men against women. It doesn’t have to be physical. Here are questions to ask yourself to understand if you’re victimizing your partner.

MEN’S GROUP: Chris Huffine, a psychologist, leads a Thursday night session for abusive men in July. Men in the group describe their emotional intensity and feelings on a whiteboard in the therapy room before the start of every session (bottom right). A participant clutches a cup of tea as Huffine speaks (bottom left).

o what is it you want?” Huffine asks Brian during the July session. “More feeling of a partnership,” Brian tells Huffine and the other men. “I can have frank conversations with my paralegal that I can’t have with my wife.” The five other men in the therapy room, most still in their dress slacks and shirts from work, listen intently. “Have you thought about why that may be?” Huffine asks. “Not in a positive way,” Brian says. “I don’t feel like I have a marital partner who has goals.” “How does that affect you?” Huffine asks pointedly. “One of my goals is to have a partner who’s tied into me,” Brian says. “She has no goals. She’s OK just sitting around the house.” “You understand that’s a contemptuous thing to say?” Huffine says. “Do you think one of the reasons she’s not connecting with you is because you’re not connecting with her?” “Absolutely.” “I’m not hearing a lot of curiosity about Sarah,” Huffine says. “I’m hearing self-pity. What are her goals? Of course she has goals! They’re just not the goals you want her to have.” “What are some good strategies when those feelings come up?” Brian asks. “Ask yourself, ‘What am I unhappy about? What am I longing for?’” Huffine says. “How are you feeling right now?” “More loneliness,” Brian says, “and longing.”


If your answer is, “The only person who complains about my behavior is my wife,” that’s not a clue she’s crazy. It’s not uncommon for batterers to be perfect gentlemen with everyone but their wives.

6. Are you quick to see your partner as being against you?

If your wife is afraid of you but you feel like the victim, your mind is playing tricks on you. You may have never hit your wife. That doesn’t mean you’re not abusing her. BETH SLOVIC.

NEED HELP? Portland Women’s Crisis Line: 235-5333. Allies in Change: 297-7979. Willamette Week AUGUST 26, 2015




an these men change? That’s the first question Huffine says he hears from people just learning about his work. Voluntary groups such as his, which bills health insurance, have no real leverage to keep men coming. The drop-out rate is high. But a facilitator who doesn’t challenge his clients risks colluding with them. Research on the effectiveness of intervention programs show mixed results. To get better, a man must completely reimagine his relationship with his partner, says Michael Paymar, the co-creator of a well-known program that Huffine draws from. “There can’t be slips,” Paymar says. “This isn’t like AA. You can’t slap someone or beat them up and say, ‘I had a slip.’” Huffine draws on anecdotal experiences—and some degree of faith. “Some men get it and some men don’t,” he says. “I’m absolutely certain there are some men who don’t change at all from being here, and then I’m absolutely certain that there are some who do.” Victims’ advocates are less hopeful. “There’s not a proven track record,” says Deborah Steinkopf, executive director of Bradley Angle, a Portland domestic violence shelter. Brian says he sees his progress when he looks at Mark, the tech worker who started coming to the group only about a year ago. On a Thursday night in June, Mark tells the group his wife recently tossed out one of his books. He talks mostly about himself—a sign to Huffine and the other men that he’s not even thinking about her. “It made me feel like nothing of mine had any worth,” Mark says. “Do you know how to get to a win-win?” Huffine asks him. “Not with my wife,” Mark says. Tears well up in Mark’s eyes as the other men gently nudge him. He’s in what the group calls “the hot seat” tonight. “If she’s not feeling heard, this is another way to speak,” says Doug, who was so skilled at playing the victim he once persuaded police to arrest his wife after neighbors called 911 because of his abuse. “Where is the win-win?,” Mark asks. “If I allow her to feel listened to and understood, where do I

John, 59 John, a construction manager, controlled and manipulated his wife for decades before she realized she was a victim of domestic abuse. Jill, John’s high-school sweetheart, thought of domestic violence as something physical, and John rarely touched her. More often, he verbally manipulated Jill to always put his needs above hers. “His need to be right was huge,” she says. “His opinions mattered more.” Jill was still unpacking wedding presents when she experienced this. John insisted Jill put the toaster they got as a gift where he wanted it, even though she would be doing all the cooking. He exploded when she corrected his poor table manners. “It was all about me,” John says. “Everything had to revolve 16

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go from there?” “I would say that differently,” says Nick, a divorced man who recently disclosed to the woman he met on that he’s in a group for controlling and abusive men. “‘I need to hear her.’” A third man, Joe, who’s sleeping on the couch at home, interjects: “What you said means, ‘I got to make her feel heard so I can move on.” “You’re wanting to be heard,” Huffine says. “She’s had a whole marriage of not being heard.” The exchange is typical of what happens in the group setting, where the men try to help each other understand what their wives must be feeling. “If somebody’s soft-pedaling something, we’ll call bullshit,” says Frank, one of the group’s most veteran members. “It’s intimidating to admit what you’ve done, but it’s really hard to get the clarity until you start talking.” A month later, Mark emails Huffine to tell him he’s not coming back.


fter five years in Huffine’s group, Sarah says Brian is still Brian. “Brian wants things done the way Brian would do them,” Sarah says. “He has gotten better about lowering those expectations a bit to let us all relax and just be ourselves. But it’s still there, and his disappointment is apparent.” She stays in the marriage because of his improvements. Brian thinks he’ll stop going to Allies in Change after six years— that’s about 10 times as long as court-mandated programs last. Despite concerns he’s slipping backward, Brian recognizes growth. On a recent vacation, Sarah asked Brian to call the airline to make sure the family had seats together. Brian didn’t want to—they could check when they got to the airport, he thought. He stewed about it, and his anger came out toward his son, now a teenager, who was making breakfast for the family. Brian accused him of moving too slowly. “I got all in his grill and told him I was disappointed,” Brian says. In the past, Brian says, he would have followed the outburst with days of cold silence. Instead, he quickly saw his mistake and apologized. Brian says he’s not where he wants to be— understanding and managing the feelings that cause his outbursts. “That would be ideal,” he says. “Getting close to that would be nice. I’m a helluva lot closer than I’ve ever been.” W W S TA F F


around me. My decision was the most important, and I knew it all.” On weekends, he’d take his family camping. He would become dictatorial ordering the kids to pack the car. “Even trying to have fun was difficult,” he says.

“My decision was the most important, and I knew it all.” “I can remember many times Jill saying she didn’t even want to go anymore, that I’d ruined it for her and the kids.” John learned his behavior from his own father. “I may not have had the best influences growing up,” he says. “The choices were mine, and I made bad choices.” He breaks down in tears today

talking about the effects of his abuse on his children. On occasion, John shoved and grabbed his wife. He remembers one particularly troubling episode. “I picked her up and put her on the floor, and one of my kids went and got a baseball bat,” John says. The boy was 10 or 12 and wanted to defend his mother. He can’t remember what set him off. Jill says it may have been an overflowing toilet. “I was over the top of her,’” he says. “I had my hands up around her neck.” John and Jill sought counseling six times before a therapist identified John’s abuse. By then they had been married 32 years. “It’s very covert,” John says of the nonphysical abuse he inflicted. “It’s out there, but a lot of times people don’t hear about it. It doesn’t make it any better or any different. It’s just that I never went to jail. It’s not that I didn’t deserve it.” BETH SLOVIC.



New Brunch Sat & Sun 10am - 2pm Daily Happy Hours 4pm - 6:30pm | 877.274.0410


816 N Russel St. • Portland Willamette Week AUGUST 26, 2015


FOOD: Hawthorne’s supermarket sushi. THEATER: The nation’s top aerial silks performer. FILM: A bank-robbing filmmaker needs money. WEED: Who you should hear at CannaGrow.

23 34 40 43



GOONIES HOUSE BROKEN: Never say “never say die” again. Astoria’s famous Goonies House is closed to the public. After more than a decade of allowing up to 1,500 visitors a day to make pilgrimages to the house that played home to Mikey Walsh in The Goonies, house owners John and Sandi Preston have covered it in blue tarps and put up “no trespassing” signs, inviting passersby to enjoy a sheet of fake mustaches instead of their house. Sean Astin, who played Mikey Walsh, is apparently still protective of his former “home.” In a Facebook post Aug. 21, Astin said, “It’s my childhood home, sort of, and I’m telling everyone to BACK OFF!!!” He also called on Goonies director Richard Donner and producer Steven Spielberg to “help establish an appropriate tourist outpost in concert with the city.” CAKES FOR PAIN: Melissa and Aaron Klein, the Gresham couple who were fined $135,000 for unlawfully refusing to make a wedding cake for a Portland lesbian couple in 2013, is now sending cakes to LGBT organizations. Written on the cakes? “We really do love you.” None of the 10 LGBT organizations was in Oregon, and all also received a copy of a film called Audacity, which purports to prove that homosexuality is by choice. “The cake noted that they love us,” says Porter Gilbert, director of the LGBTQ Center of Long Beach (Calif.), which received a cake. “As an LGBTQ person, any sort of material that would suggest that LGBTQ identities are a choice and that we can take them on and off would be an absolute falsehood.” Gilbert says the LGBTQ Center invited the Kleins “to see how we serve people in our community no matter who they are or who they love.” BARD LUCK: Last week was rough for Portland’s Shakespeare scene. Ty Boice, co-founder and artistic director at Post5 Theatre, announced he’s moving to Seattle after five years of leading the company because the theater scene up north is more lucrative. By October, Boice says he’ll have new management set up at Post5 for a smooth transition. >> Portland Actors Ensemble’s outdoor performance of The Taming of the Shrew in Gabriel Park bailed, too. The company canceled its shows last weekend because of forest fire smoke. OLD PORTLAND (1985-2011): Earlier this month, we asked the people of Portland for the precise dates when Old Portland was born and when it died. Hundreds made their voices heard in an online poll, and the answer was clear. Old Portland was born on Jan. 2, 1985, the day legendary Mayor Bud “Expose Yourself to Art” Clark rode a bicycle to his inauguration. Old Portland finally died on Jan. 21, 2011, when Fred Armisen and Carrie Brownstein took to the airwaves to proclaim Portland “a city where young people go to retire.” 18

Willamette Week AUGUST 26, 2015




GO: Garrison Keillor’s A Prairie Home Companion America the Beautiful Tour is at 7 pm Friday, Aug. 28, at the Oregon Zoo, 4001 SW Canyon Road, 226-1561, $42.50-$82.50. All ages.




THURSDAY AUG. 27 JENNY HVAL [AVANT-POP] Norwegian experimentalist Jenny Hval half-jokingly dubbed her latest LP, Apocalypse, Girl, “soft-dick rock.” It’s a poised effort, with similarities to fellow Scandinavians Múm or even Vespertine-era Björk. Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., 288-3895. 8 pm. $10 advance, $12 day of show. 21+. VIC MENSA [SON OF YEEZUS] An understudy of Kanye West, this 22-yearold Chicago MC has come a long way since his days with backpackrap revivalists Kids These Days. His recent singles reflect a lot of postYeezus tendencies, with sharpshooting one-liners and dark, industrial production. Wonder Ballroom, 128 NE Russell St., 284-8686. 7:30 pm. $20 advance, $23 day of show. All ages.


IS THERE A NONLETHAL WAY TO STOP GARRISON KEILLOR? Garrison Keillor claims he’ll go quietly. The host of A Prairie Home Companion, which comes to the Oregon Zoo this week, has promised to retire from his show sometime next July. If he keeps his vow, the nation’s radio waves could be free of Keillor in less than a year. But the 73-year-old Minnesotan has made such promises before, only to balk. Brace Belden doesn’t want to take any chances. Belden is a San Francisco anti-Keillor activist who started the “Cancel Goddam Prairie Home Companion” petition on Change. org last month. Since Keillor announced plans to retire and hand over the show to Chris Thile, a mandolinist in the band Nickel Creek, Belden says simply canceling the show may not be enough. MARTIN CIZMAR.

WW: When did you start hating A Prairie Home Companion?

Brace Belden: I can’t even remember—it’s like being born addicted to methadone. I came out of the womb sick with it. Like there’s never been a time in my young life when I didn’t know about and hate stupid-ass Garrison Keillor. But I started hating it more when we ran out of CDs in my girlfriend’s truck.

What do you hate about it?

I could spend the rest of my shitty life listening to A Prairie Home Companion and walk through death’s fucking doors not knowing a thing. The show is an abomination—an entire hour of nothing but one man’s insane, repulsive fantasy. “News from Lake Wobegon.” My God. What a nightmare. It’s inoffensive, it’s bland, it’s plodding. You can feel the wrinkles growing and the blood draining out of your dick. It’s a radio show for guys who married their high-school sweethearts. Model train music. He stretches that hour into eternity. There is absolutely a hell, and it’s in Minnesota, and its demon king is fucking Keillor.

Why is it allowed to remain on radio?

I’m of the opinion there’s only one rich, retired dentist in like Ohio or something who just sends NPR a 10-figure check every few years with “KEEP PRAIRIE HOME COMPANION ON ALL THE FUCKIN TIME” written in the memo part. Either that or you’re deaf and just enjoy the vibrations. I could imagine the show has pretty soothing vibrations.

Keillor is a national menace, and if Obama really wanted the sun to shine on America, he’d hang that son of a bitch from the Empire State Building and usher in a new era of prosperity and maybe free up eight or nine time slots on NPR.

You don’t think it’s enough to just let him hand the show over to a mandolin player?

If someone continues in his shoes, I’m going to cut my ears off and feed ’em to his widow. I think Obama will listen to the petition, though. It’s his last year, and people are all excited because he stopped wearing tan suits and lit up the White House rainbow. I think, as his final act, he will pardon Mumia and order the arrest of Keillor to face charges of high treason and sabotage.

Do you really think A Prairie Home Companion is worse than other NPR programming like Car Talk and This American Life?

Absolutely worse than all that other shit. My main thing is that This American Life—schmaltzy and saccharine as it is—at least is varied. Like there’s a different show every week, and at least it’s run by a Jew—my people know showbiz unlike this schmuck Keillor. Car Talk never seems to be on when I’m listening to the radio, but I’d gladly listen to some bozo drone on and on about how aerodynamic PT Cruisers are forever into eternity until my fuckin’ skin falls off than hear the dumbass news from Lake Wobegon.

So you’re an NPR fan?

Thing is, I support public radio—not with money, of course, I make like $4 an hour—but I would absolutely vote for any candidate who ran on a platform of hanging Garrison Keillor. The only solution is, as I see it, to kill Keillor. Like a strong message must be passed on—that this sort of wrinkle-man tyranny will not stand in the greatest country in the world and also history.

And you believe a petition can make that happen?

Absolutely. I believe in the American dream, and I firmly trust that Americans will act upon our shared dream of Garrison Keillor’s public execution. I’m a patriot, after all.

SCHARPLING & WURSTER [CULT COMEDY] Tom Scharpling’s The Best Show mixes the spirit of a classic call-in radio program with the looseness of a modern comedy podcast, full of endless running gags and recurring characters, all portrayed by indie-rock superdrummer Jon Wurster. It’s not easily accessible, but once you’re in on the jokes, it really is the Best. Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside St., 231-9663. 8 pm. $25. Advance tickets sold out, limited tickets available day of show. 21+. GRILLED CHEESE INVITATIONAL [FROMAGE] Nine local restaurants compete for the title of best grilled cheese at this party, which is laid out like a golf course where patrons get a scorecard and eat their way through. EastBurn, 1800 E Burnside St., 5-10 pm. $20.

SUNDAY AUG. 30 URBAN AIR MARKET [SHOP IN THE STREET] Local designers like the beloved Rogue Minx, herbal mixologists Blendily, and badass jewelry maker Sea Pony Couture take to the streets for an outdoor marketplace in the Pearl. You can buy beard oils from the expert groomers at Wooly Beast while swaying to swoony pop ballads from La Rivera. Northwest Hoyt Street and 13th Avenue, 11 am-6 pm. Free.

MONDAY AUG. 31 JEFF ALWORTH READING [BEER] Among beer writers, Beervana’s Jeff Alworth is a big deal; both our mayor and disgraced ex-governor follow him on Twitter. Alworth’s new globetrotting Beer Bible is an all-encompassing look at humans’ finest invention, from the basics to obscure styles like geuze and Flemish vat-aged sours. Powell’s Books at Cedar Hills Crossing, 3415 SW Cedar Hills Blvd., 228-4651, 7 pm. Free. Willamette Week AUGUST 26, 2015



Willamette Week AUGUST 26, 2015







Last night two drunks came to visit the trees. It was 3 am, and they parked their car so the headlights shone on the massive trunks as they stumbled around, gazing skyward. “These things are fucking huge, man.” “We can’t let them cut ’em down…” They woke me up, and I stood at our bedroom window tempted to tell them to shut up. But the thing is, I sympathize with those guys. The trees are indeed huge, over 150 feet tall. There are three of them, all planted in a neat row supposedly back in the 1800s, giant sequoias with trunks so thick you could drive a small car through them, just like they do in those national parks on the California coast. It would indeed be a shame to cut them down, especially just to make room for one more big house that no one in particular has asked for. Even Vic Remmers, the developer who plans to build it, agrees with the drunk guys, to a certain extent. “I really wish we could find another solution,” he wrote me. By “another solution,” Remmers means he’d like to get his invested money back, plus a $250,000 profit. His company, Everett Custom Homes, bought the land four months ago—two city lots, one of them empty but for the trees, and the other with a modest house that was being pushed over by the roots of the giant sequoias next door. We live on the other side of the trees and had hoped to buy the tree lot back when it was put up for sale. We didn’t really have the money, though, and Everett Custom Homes swooped in with $650,000 cash for both lots. We thought perhaps they’d have trouble getting a permit to cut down the trees and might work around them instead. The name of the company was “Custom Homes,” after all. But it turned out there was nothing custom about the huge Tudor-style houses it planned to drop on the land. And the company had no trouble getting permits to cut down every single tree on both lots. Prior to a newly adopted tree ordinance, a Portland resident would have had to pay about $80,000 to cut down those trees. Now developers merely pay a small, uniform fine into a “tree mitigation fund.” Remmers and his company ponied up $2,400 for the right to cut everything down. The traditional 35-day waiting period for public input on their plans was waived. A crane would be brought in, we were told, and workers would first limb each tree so they could be rendered enormous spiky poles. Then they’d shear the trees down in small chunks that could be lowered carefully to the ground. These chunks, useless as lumber, would have to be chopped into chips for the landfill. But the night before this was to happen, a posse of news trucks camped out on our street. Hundreds of protesters arrived in the morning, and the TV reporters gave live updates, waiting for a showdown. In the days leading up, some neighbors had made a last-ditch effort to buy the land from Remmers. It wasn’t until those news trucks and protesters showed up that he offered to cut a deal. A meeting was set at a local coffeehouse for later that morning. A small group of us waited for the developer, some having just met that very morning. Remmers strolled in late,

I SPEAK FOR THE TREES: Arthur Bradford with some seriously large sequoias that soon might not exist.

a tall, former Oregon State University basketball player, in his early 30s. He sat down, and right away the head of our neighborhood association berated him with threats of lawsuits and protesters endlessly blocking his way. Remmers, unmoved, calmly presented us with his deal: We pay him $900,000 cash by the end of the week, or he would move ahead and cut down the trees. We stammered attempts at bargaining, but he showed no interest and checked his phone as conversation swirled around him. In the end he gave us 10 days, and the price held firm at $900,000. We told him we felt we could come up with the money, and Remmers left. “Does anyone here have $900,000?” I asked. The answer was, sadly, no. There were a lot of people down by the trees, though, including three TV trucks, all waiting for news on the “negotiation.” By the time I got back there, a story had been spun: “Neighborhood agrees to pay $900,000 to save trees…” A peppy anchorwoman stood in front of the crowd and told us all to cheer when she gave the signal. “Um, wait,” I tried to say. But they got their shot of a happy crowd, and then the trucks and protesters left. It didn’t take us long to realize that this $900,000 was a huge long shot. A rough accounting left us well short. A friend who runs a portable sawmill heard about our fundraising efforts and said, “Spending that much money on saving three trees sounds nuts to me.” He pointed out that giant sequoias aren’t even native to this area. “Think of how many acres of native oak forest that money could save.” I had struggled with this myself. Imagine all the other things one could do with that kind of money? But I give money to any number of causes about which the same criticism could be leveled—Kickstarter campaigns for films, animal rescue, etc. It would be a pretty self-defeating world if we didn’t try to solve smaller problems just because bigger ones are more deserving of our attention.


Still, what kind of solution was this? Who were we to try to pay off this developer? A story on was littered with disparaging remarks about wealthy Eastmoreland residents throwing their money away. I could honestly see both sides. Why did these trees matter so much anyway? Their previous owners, who lived on the property for more than 60 years, didn’t seem to mind seeing them cut down, so who were we to complain? But hold on, have you seen these frickin’ trees? Come take a look at them, please. Come over and tell me we’d all be better off if they were cut down to make room for a maximum-sized, Tudor-style house. The 10-day window passed, and we didn’t have the money, not even close. I went out of town and expected the trees to be gone when I returned. But they were not. It’s been well over a month now, and still Everett Custom Homes has not moved in. Perhaps all the letters and emails and phone calls have given Remmers pause. Every day people come driving, biking or walking up our street to see the trees, just like those two drunks who visited last night. They all shake their heads and can’t believe someone would want to destroy this sight. But who has the money, or power, to actually make it stop? In the middle of all this, Everett Custom Homes proudly announced it had received a “2015 Green Home Builder Award” from Earth Advantage Institute. At what point can we no longer greenwash away our footprints? What if those three giant sequoias represent a line in the sand in this rapidly transforming city? Remmers wrote a letter to our neighborhood last month, closing with the line, “Sometimes change is necessary.” To many of us, though, a company like Everett Custom Homes doesn’t represent change at all. It just represents more of the same thing. Arthur Bradford is the author of three books, including the 2015 story collection Turtleface and Beyond, and director of the Emmy-nominated documentary 6 Days to Air, about the filming of a single South Park episode. Negotiations with Remmers continue as of this writing, and Friends of Trees is accepting donations at Willamette Week AUGUST 26, 2015




Highly recommended.

11AM – 3PM

By MATTHEW KORFHAGE. Editor: MARTIN CIZMAR. Email: dish@ See page 3 for submission instructions.



WEDNESDAY, AUG. 26 Heretic Brewing Tap Takeover

The proper way to drink the famed creations of two-time national homebrewer of the year Jamil Zainasheff is on draft. Bailey’s will tap Heretic’s double IPA Evil Cousin, along with a red IPA that is to die for. The Upper Lip, 720 SW Ankeny St., 295-1004,

Lunch walk up window 11:30am–2:30pm

La Calaca Comelona 2304 SE Belmont | 503-239-9675 4-10pm Mon–Sat

SATURDAY, AUG. 29 Grilled Cheese Invitational

As part of EastBurn’s second-annual August grilled-cheese fundraiser for the Portland Women’s Crisis Line, the bar has invited nine different area businesses for a grilloff. EastBurn, 1800 E Burnside St., 236-2876. 5 pm. $20.

Viva Tequila PDX

Jupiter Hotel will host a mess of tequila to benefit Milagro Theatre, with tequila from tiny distillers south of the border. Jupiter Hotel, 800 E Burnside St, 230-9200. 4 pm. $25 for 6 tastes, $45 for VIP and 8 tastes. Through Sunday, Aug. 30.



Cuisinieres Dinner

Southeast Wine Collective will use produce from the Beginning Urban Farm Apprenticeship program for a multi-course wine-pairing dinner benefiting the program. Reserve seats at SE Wine Collective, 2425 SE 35th Place, 208-2061, sewinecollective. com. 6 pm. $60.

Shandong Where to eat this week. 1. Enat Kitchen


300 N Killingsworth St., 285-4867, The menu of Ethiopian wats (stews) is vast, but get the “family-style” option with two meat and five veggie dishes on injera. $$.

2. Dub’s St. Johns

9520 N Lombard St., 998-8230, Chef-owner William “Dub” Travis III (half of weed-loving local rap duo Mack & Dub) serves up memorable soul fare from sweet-minded waffles and chicken to meaty, tender, sweet and slightly tangy ribs. $$.

3. Po’Shines Cafe de la Soul


BOLD FLAVOR Vegan Friendly

Open 11-10


8139 N Denver Ave., 978-9000, This church-run cafe will fry up half a chicken smothered in gravy, with mashed taters, seasonal veggies, a loving spoonful of stuffing and, of course, cornbread. $$.

4. Stoopid Burger

3441 N Vancouver Ave., 971-801-4180. The Luni Burger is a 6-inch-thick conflagration of habanero, jalapeño, bacon, blue cheese, grilled onions, tomato, pickle and some mayo-based secret sauce they call “stoopid.” It’s a flavor-packed, fatty, salty mess of goop and spice. $.

5. Safari Restaurant

500 NW 21st Ave, (503) 208-2173 22

Willamette Week AUGUST 26, 2015

7815 SE Powell Blvd., 775-2998. Safari is a sparse, orange-accented spot with diner tables full of young men eating pungent rice and goat and…spaghetti. Thanks to Somalia’s complicated history, pasta is a staple dish, served less as ground for light sauce than as a starch base for stew. $.

LOVE IS A BURNING THING: The Volcano sandwich.

THE HOT BOX BBQ You can feel sorry for doctors or not, but until a month ago the South Waterfront had almost no affordable lunch fare. The new Gantry—a roadside walkway lined with food carts—has since bogarted Ash Woodfired Pizza, Neue Southern, and now the Hot Box BBQ. The Hot Box focuses on pulled pork and has some of the best cart-cooked pig shoulder in town. A Little Bit of Smoke still offers up the best Carolina sauce, but the Hot Box brings a grab bag of spices, apparently a Humboldt County tradition. In true NorCal stoner style, every flavor is up for grabs. On and Order this: The Volcano ($9) with coleslaw side ($2). off, they cook up Maui Wowie pulled pork with pineapple, pickled onion and peach barbecue sauce, and a Viet-Nom, Nom, Nom that’s essentially a pulled-pork banh mi on brioche. The pork is shoulder that’s been smoked low and slow, and it maintains its meaty character rather than turning stringy. And while the Original sandwich’s ($8) peach barbecue sauce is benignly sweet with a bit of tang, and pleasantly crisped up with traditional slaw, it’s the Volcano ($9) I’d come back for. The stacked sandwich is a logjam of jalapeño pepper jelly and Sriracha aioli, with fried onion providing the crunch instead of cabbage—pretty much an unholy mash-up of pulled pork and Rochester-style bomber. It is a thing of beauty. The $2 add-on sides are serviceable. I’d take basic coleslaw over potato salad, although the latter gets extra credit for throwing apples into the mix. But in a neighborhood previously so sadly hard up it didn’t even have a bar until nine months ago, the Hot Box is something to envy in the South Waterfront. MATTHEW KORFHAGE. EAT: The Hot Box BBQ, 3121 SW Moody Ave., at the Gantry pod, 11 am-7 pm Monday-Friday, or until sold out.


SUN MADE CUCUMBER BERLINER WEISSE (OAKSHIRE) The only thing I like better than a traditional Berliner Weisse—a mildly sour German wheat beer named for the city where it was born—is a traditional Berliner Weisse with a little woodruff or raspberry syrup. In Germany, there’s a certain stigma to drinking your beer with a shot of syrup and a straw. Well, this is America. Here, the alcoholic tastes of the European underclasses are a mark of sophistication— another Strongbow, please! Pretty much everyone can get behind Oakshire’s Sun Made, a Berliner that requires no syrup to get that extra layer of flavor. Inspired by 10 Barrel’s Cucumber Crush, Eugene’s best brewery added five to six pureed cucumbers per barrel to this softly tart 4 percent ABV sour wheat beer. This one turned out even better than the Crush—the cucumber gives Sun Made a nice juicy herbal note, like the slice on an English tea sandwich. I find it similarly tasteful. Recommended. MARTIN CIZMAR.







Supermarket sushi isn’t just for the cold case anymore. Head to Hawthorne and there, within two blocks of each other, sit two sushi restaurants inside grocery stores. The Hawthorne Fred Meyer has a conveyor-belt sushi kiosk with colorcoded plates of spicy salmon and tuna roll. Meanwhile, at Pastaworks, the old Evoe space is home to an ultra-exclusive, 12-seat Japanese formal dinner called Nodoguro. Fred Meyer perhaps gets the edge on sushi, because it’s actually possible to get—Nodoguro’s $120 Sunday omakase often sells out within a half hour. But after eating the 10-course, $85 Zen sousaku (“not-sushi”) dinner, which rotates monthly-ish at Nodoguro, we also fashioned our own complementary 10-course dinner at Frushi, which is what we’re calling the sushi train at Freddy’s. We came in under $30, including soda pairings.


Nodoguro is a soothing elbow of hardwood in dim light—the still-blazing sun blunted by screens—in an intimate sideroom restaurant serviced by chef Ryan Roadhouse, his wife, Elena, and Nong’s Khao Man Gai operations manager Colin Yoshimoto. The diners, who’d reserved tickets months in advance, came in pairs and ordered wine. Frushi is a fluorescent-lit island in the Fred Meyer deli with a doubled-up sushi conveyor. Everyone at Frushi ate quickly and alone.


Nodoguro’s drink pairings are curated by Paul Willenberg, a devoted Nodoguro patron with discerning taste whom Roadhouse tapped for the job after Willenberg scowled at all others’ previous pairings. The pairings are among the most impressive in town: A Johan Vineyards pinot noir called out earthy notes in sesame tofu, and it warmly met the acidity of pickle in the next course; while a Ten to Chi junmai daiginjo sake held up to the sweet richness of both fig and albacore. And Nodoguro’s courses move swiftly enough that two diners can split a $30 pairing of four drinks. At Fred Meyer, there’s a fancy, computerized soda machine offering a free refill and access to a vast panoply of flavors for $2.


Nodoguro: The “3 Day Monk” meal is designed as a tribute to the stern shojin fare of the Buddhist monk. So the first dish was a perfect half-moon of austere sesame tofu, with a kick of uni and salted sesame seed on top with lavender flowers. When finished—quickly, gracelessly, surreptitiously—I lifted the bowl and downed the ginger dashi. It was terrific. Frushi: I had to take my tofu ($2.50) the old-fashioned way: in cubes, in miso broth filled with scallions and clouds of soy. I was offered a free refill.





Nodoguro: Evoe set the bar high for pickles, but this was hurdled gently with a dainty course of lightly vinegared cucumber on its first night away from the farm, plus burdock—a sort of thistle—in thin strands, and a pungent pickle plate of fennel, ginger blossom and baby burdock. Frushi: The salad came in tube form, a $2 summer roll of cucumber, lightly oxygen-browned avocado, and carrot sheathed in rice so oversoft its grains blurred.


Nodoguro: I usually hate figs—but I loved this one. It was warmed in oil until it exploded in two, then doused in ginger dashi. The result was seemingly the platonic form of fig: sweet, savory, satisfying, and endlessly jammy. Dear Lord. Frushi: There is no fruit at Frushi.


Nodoguro: The one bit of sushi-restaurant fare at the notsushi dinner, the albacore sashimi was nearly a cruel tease, foiled at one edge with fat thin as gold leaf and seared with scalding water and oil, stoically alone in three slices on the plate. Previously, my companion and I had been savoring our bites and dissecting the excellent wine and sake pairings. I wolfed this motherfucker. Frushi: The tuna nigiri ($3) was a thin strip of pink—like acid paper made of meat— atop an unending mass of rice less sticky than congealed.


Nodoguro: This was the midstream punch line of the fancy feast—Dungeness crab pizza. Which, in practice, was a bit more like crab dip on a sesame cracker, with an acidic burst of tomato and the bitter-citrus accent of shiso. Frushi: There is no crab at Frushi. But there is krab— whitefish with a pink-dyed topper to mimic iodine—stuffed in a huge nori cone. With Sriracha, this would have been my favorite item, due to misplaced nostalgia; my parents didn’t waste real crab on an overeating 12-year-old.


Nodoguro: Soft, miso-soaked daikon radish chunks the size and texture of English stew-cut potatoes are paired with

blanched seaweed in a bit of green dashi vinegar. It was spare but effective comfort fare, with the same vibrant dose of vinegar a Brit might toss into his fries. Frushi: The carrot roll at Frushi is still more austere—carrot wrapped in rice wrapped in nori. But it was oddly pleasant, sweet and crisp, a perfect snack for kindergartners.


Nodoguro: Three tender slices of seared confit duck breast, marinated in soy and served alongside flash-fired eggplant, are wonderfully tender within and slightly crisp on the edge, with a little seaweed broth adding salt and depth. Frushi: There was only one poultry course—a chicken teriyaki roll—but it was unavailable. I subbed eel in a soy marinade. In perhaps a Zen touch, it tasted like sweet, salty nothingness.


Nodoguro: This was three beautiful strips of salt-cured, cold-smoked sockeye warmed in koji butter, over a bowl of rice, corn and chanterelles—a reminder that the first country to truly value Oregon’s mushroom crop was Japan. Frushi: Here the spicy salmon roll is a salmon-avocado fat bed blanketed with a Japanese-American take on fry sauce. It is not good. It is not bad. Like a game of basketball according to Kobe Bryant, it is what it is.


Nodoguro: Tamago is simple—a square of egg that is a sushi chef’s most naked showcase of artistry, and Roadhouse says his only true criterion is deliciousness. Nodoguro’s tamago was indeed delicious, airy and caked high, lightly touched with sugar like the syrup overflow at a diner breakfast. Frushi: This was the only true head-to-head matchup between the two spots—and the tamago here was surprisingly good, both in color and its light texture. But it doesn’t have a chance. Nodoguro wins.


Nodoguro: This was a dish of peaches and cream, except the peaches were drenched in shiso syrup, and the dairy was a mix of buttermilk and cream frozen into shards. Amid one of the most singular dining experiences in Portland, only this dish was overlabored; the contrast of texture and temperature was less interestingly novel than outright alienating. Frushi: Given the entire store’s worth of options, I went for a Tillamookie—low-rent, no-frills, middle-class mint-chocolate-chip ice cream sandwiched in a waffle cookie. Victory to Fred Meyer, just this once. EAT: Nodoguro is at Pastaworks, 3735 SE Hawthorne Blvd., Dinner Thursday-Sunday by reservation. The Hawthorne Fred Meyer sushi counter is open 11 am-7 pm daily at 3805 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 872-3300, Willamette Week AUGUST 26, 2015



Willamette Week AUGUST 26, 2015


and a son, Roy Jr., who tricks him into doing various stupid and illegal things. He is The Best Show’s most frequently recurring character, a man fueled exclusively by hoagies and a deeply held belief that “Jersey sucks.” For a while, he was the absentee mayor of Newbridge. THE GORCH: One of the most legendary of the legendary calls. Scharpling speaks to Roland “The Gorch” Gorchnick, a childhood friend of Garry Marshall and the model for Happy Days breakout character Arthur “Fonzie” Fonzarelli. The Gorch is not a big fan of his television counterpart, who he believes has been sanitized for a mass television audience. “Asking questions isn’t cool! You don’t see the Gorch askin’ no questions!” TIMMY VON TRIMBLE: Timmy is a 2-inch-tall man who sleeps in a thimble. He also has some unsettling opinions, which he shares with a scandalized Scharpling.

Simply the Best

BEST (IN) SHOW: Tom Scharpling (left) and Jon Wurster.



If you’ve never heard of The Best Show, the beloved New Jersey-based Internet radio program, the first thing you must know is that its phone lines are a sacred space, and host Tom Scharpling guards them like a mother bear protecting her cubs with a baseball bat. Take, for example, the tragic case of Cory. “We’re gonna have a nice conversation, Cory,” Scharpling tells the caller on a typical Tuesday evening, attempting to put him at ease. “You’ll tell your whole family about it. You talked to Tom.” “I struck out the last few times I called,” the caller says, “so I don’t wanna strike out again this time.” “What happened the last couple times?” “Yeah, I got, uh, Bad Company’d last time, because I mispronounced Amish Mafia. I said ‘ay-mish.’ And I don’t want that to happen again this time.” “I know what you mean. So what happened? You called, you were talkin’ about the show Amish Mafia?” In the distance, a familiar strain begins. A rolling cymbal and a piano line: the opening of Bad Company’s 1974 classic-rock staple, “Bad Company.” The caller can’t hear it, the harbinger of his fate, so he continues. “I said Ay-mish instead of Amish, and it was rather embarrassing, but I think I have something good here.” …always on the run… “I read an article and I tweeted it at you. It’s about a group, I can’t say anything other than losers.” …ohh, six-gun in my haaaaaand… “People literally dressed up like the characters…” The caller’s voice fades out. The piano swells. “THAT’S WHY THEY

CALL ME…” Drum kick. Scharpling hangs up. Cory is once again “Bad Company’d”— Scharpling’s preferred method of disposing of anyone with the temerity to ramble on his phone lines. The Best Show—which initially aired on New Jersey’s free-form station WFMU, and is now available on your podcast manager of choice—is what its title says. The show has the structure and discipline of a great callin radio program—three hours of nonstop talking, callers, pre-written comedy, a little bit of music and a lot of music-geek humor— and combines it with the free-flowing anarchy of a modern comedy podcast, a spirit Scharpling invented nearly on his own 10 years before it was profitable to anyone. Even the closest FOTs—that’s Friends of Tom, the name of the show’s devoted fan base—will admit the show is not accessible. It is a weekly three-hour commitment, a fantastic feast to the initiated but daunting to newcomers. Some routine in-jokes have been going for five years. Scharpling’s approach to hosting takes a while to embrace. If WTF, for instance, is about Marc Maron being forthright about his life—a performance based in honesty and exploring the core of one’s self—The Best Show is born from Scharpling’s various games of obfuscation. On a given night, he’ll tell the audience that he’s 63 years old (he’s 46), accuse his call screener of selling bootleg DVDs, make fun of his guests with a squirrel puppet named Gary; boil over in apocalyptic rage for no reason, and accuse a random male caller of being a peeper. Think of him as a sort of wandering folk troubadour of radio, the Woody Guthrie of spoken-word audio, spinning yarns of half-truths in service of a broader storytelling vision.

The most prominent of these lies is that Scharpling is a lifelong resident of Newbridge, N.J. Newbridge is extremely fake, The Best Show’s Lake Wobegon, for all intents and purposes, populated by a madness-gripped citizenry that calls into the show nearly every week to harass Scharpling. All of these citizens are portrayed by Scharpling’s writing partner, indie-rock super-drummer Jon Wurster (Superchunk, Bob Mould, the Mountain Goats), who specializes in portraying a specific sort of mildly idiotic, self-mythologizing sociopath. These bits seem loosely improvised but are actually planned out extensively beforehand. They’re often lengthy, anywhere from 20 minutes to an hour. They take shape gradually and utilize a bevy of recurring jokes and references to previous Newbridge adventures. These two-man radio plays form the core of any given episode of The Best Show and are the most accessible entry point to anyone looking for a way in. Blessedly, Numero Group recently released a 16-disc box set chronicling the finest moments of the Scharpling and Wurster partnership in the WFMU years. Here are some good starting points: POWER POP POP-POP: A local powerpop enthusiast calls in to talk to Scharpling about Poptastrophe 2007, a local powerpop festival. But there is a dark pall over the proceedings. Power Pop Pop-Pop, the patriarch of the national power-pop scene, is on a mission to consolidate power and preserve the purity of power pop: “He calls himself Power Pop Pop-Pop, like a lovable grandfather, but he’s more like this power-pop dictator.” Features a startlingly virtuosic list of fake power-pop bands. A local fish calls in and gossips about Aquaman while he squats in the superhero’s summer home. PHILLY BOY ROY’S MEMORIAL DAY: Philly Boy Roy is a proud, middle-class Philadelphian, with a wife named Rhoda

THIS IS ZACHARY BRIMSTEAD: Newbridge’s foremost barbershop-quartet enthusiast phones in to talk about the dissolution of his group, Barbershop Sweat, and regale Scharpling with his one-man barbershop renditions of current and classic rock-’n’-roll hits. THE SPRINGSTEEN BOOK: Steven Jennings, author of Darkness on the River’s Edge in the USA: From Greetings to the Promise: Bruce Springsteen: The Story Behind the Albums, calls into the show to talk to Scharpling about the life and times of the Boss. Jennings details his deeply ingrained working-class fear of failure, his various attempts to join the Army, his yearly attempt to get a job at the local Halloween superstore and his prototype for “a shirt you can drive like a motorcycle.” Did you know Micky Dolenz played drums on “Born to Run”? REGGIE MONROE: Reggie was the greatest Survivor prospect of all time and the pride of Newbridge, until a fatal mistake on the island changed his life forever. A tragedy that unfolds like a never-retracting Slinky going downstairs. ROCK, ROT AND RULE: In the first Scharpling and Wurster call, from three years before The Best Show started in earnest, Scharpling interviews Ronald Thomas Clontle, a music writer who claims that his new book is “the ultimate argument-settler.” In the book, Clontle definitively decides whether every band in the pop-music canon “rocks,” “rots” or “rules.” He also claims Madness invented ska, and gets in a fight with an angry caller about it. If Scharpling and Wurster hadn’t spent the next decade and a half pursuing and refining their craft, “Rock, Rot and Rule” would stand up as a perfect pass-it-around cult-comedy piece. As is, it’s the seed from which the mighty oak of their craft has emerged. SEE IT: Scharpling and Wurster are at Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside St., on Saturday, Aug. 29. 9 pm. $25. Advance tickets sold out, limited tickets available day of show. 21+. Stream The Best Show live every Tuesday, 6-9 pm, at Willamette Week AUGUST 26, 2015


MUSIC = WW Pick. Highly recommended. Prices listed are sometimes for advance ticket sales. At-the-door increases and so-called convenience charges may apply. Event lineups are subject to change after WW’s press deadlines. Editor: MATTHEW SINGER. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, go to and follow submission directions. All shows should be submitted two weeks or more in advance of event. Press kits, CDs and especially vinyl can be sent to Music Desk, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Please include show or release date information with all physical mailings. Email: Fax: 243-1115.



We Take Holocene: Glenn Waco, Gifted Gab, Load B, Crown Z

American Icon Records presents Northwest Hesh Fest: YOB, Pentagram, Dead Moon, Acid King, and more

[REVOLUTIONARY RAP] If ever the Portland rap scene needed a lightning rod, Glenn Waco and the aptly named Renaissance Coalition are stepping to the mic with socially aware lyrics that preach unity amid national discord. Hailing from the local hip-hop hotbed of St. Johns, Waco is a magnetic MC with righteous lyrics that call to mind his role as an activist and leader in the Portland Black Lives Matter movement. Waco’s Holocene takeover brings the talents of Seattle’s Gifted Gab center stage for a diverse showcase of independent hip-hop via the underground community at large. WYATT SCHAFFNER. Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison St., 239-7639. 8:45 pm. $10 advance, $15 day of show. 21+.

[STONERS IN THE DOOM GARAGE] Given marijuana’s newly legal status in Oregon, it’d be surprising to see the stage through the haze at this three-day barrage of high-level doom metal, stoner rock and garage punk, curated by American Icon Records. YOB is probably the best doom act in the world, and if you haven’t heard 2014’s Clearing the Path to Ascend, fix that immediately, as you are missing out on last year’s best metal album. Acid King are a standout in the Sleep school of stoner doom, and doom forefathers Pentagram are worth it just to see

CONT. on page 27



Vic Mensa, Towkio

[SON OF YEEZUS] Vic Mensa became a man in 2015. He performed with Kanye West on Saturday Night Live’s 40th anniversary special, and inked a deal with Jay Z’s Roc Nation. For a 22-year-old rapper from the South Side of Chicago, those are the kind of endorsements that change lives. But even before his formative year, Mensa had been in the spotlight, as the frontman and wordsmith of Kids These Days, a seven-piece, Roots-reminiscent group of ambitious and talented music-school kids, playing a blend of blues, jazz and rap. Kids These Days broadcasted Mensa’s rhymes nationally, yielding an album produced by Wilco’s Jeff Tweedy and a live performance on Conan. By 2010, they were the industry’s act to watch, and fated to bring back live-band hip-hop. Nostalgic backpack-rap fans rejoiced. But after five years of touring and recording, seven heads weren’t working as one anymore. Dreams diverged, and creative differences meant Mensa went solo. It was a valuable transition, allowing the young rapper the opportunity to release 2013’s Innanetape, a project that proved he could manage the spotlight on his own. Mensa formed an identity as a playful young artist committed to bright vibes, clever wordplay and versatile production. But when West—once an overly ambitious kid from Chicago himself— called Mensa up to the big leagues, his already far-reaching sound began to rapidly mature. Mensa is on the road gearing up for his Roc Nation debut, Traffic, and recent singles “U Mad” and “I Been” reflect a lot of post-Yeezus tendencies, with sharpshooting oneliners and dark, industrial production. MATTHEW SCHONFELD. Wonder Ballroom, 128 NE Russell St., 284-8686. 8:30 pm Thursday, Aug. 27. $20 advance, $23 day of show. All ages. 26

Willamette Week AUGUST 26, 2015


frontman Bobby Liebling in person. And Dead Moon…well, if you’re a fan of Portland punk, or just music that’s dark, heavy and emotionally stormy, you should already be familiar. If not, well, considering that its live performances are few and far between these days—and usually at the cavernous crystal Ballroom—this is a damn good time to get acquainted. WALKER MAcMURDo. Dante’s, 350 W Burnside St., 345-7892. See for more information. Through Aug. 29. 21+.

Jenny Hval, Briana Marela

[EXPERIMEntAL PoP] norwegian experimental electronica artist Jenny Hval’s recent LP, Apocalypse, Girl, has a feminine aesthetic that she half-jokingly dubbed “soft-dick rock” in a recent interview, citing a desire to make the inverse to “cock rock.” It’s a poised effort, with more similarities to fellow Scandinavians Múm or even Vespertine-era Björk. the explicit sexuality of her previous efforts is less overt but she still manages to sound risque. cRIS LAnKEnAU. Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., 288-3895. 9 pm. $10 advance, $12 day of show. 21+.

Kimya Dawson, Hammel on Trial

[AntI-FoLK-FESt] on his great string of mid-’00s albums for Ani DiFranco’s Righteous Babe label, folk-punk singer-songwriter Ed Hamell, aka Hamell on trial, shared the struggle of balancing his aggro persona with wife-and-child domesticity. Well, he doesn’t have to bother anymore: the wife’s out of the picture (though the kid presumably isn’t), and to hear Hamell tell it—or title it—he’s The Happiest Man in the World, according to his 2014 album. Released on Americana imprint new West, the collection finds Hamell energized as ever, typically caustic yet cautiously optimistic. Kimya Dawson, meanwhile, found her best collaborator since the Moldy Peaches’ Adam Green in alt-rapper Aesop Rock. their duo, the Uncluded, issued the full-length Hokey Fright in 2013, Dawson’s most recent release, though she plays solo tonight. JEFF RoSEnBERG. The Historic Old Church, 1422 SW 11th Ave., 222-2031. 8 pm. $15. All ages.

FRIDAY, AUG. 28 Helms Alee, Norska, Sioux

[REALLY HARD RocK] on the verge of metal at times, Seattle’s Helms Alee is more appropriately placed in the hard-rock section of your local record store. the 2014 release Sleepwalking Sailors captured a lot of ears with a punishing blend of early Soundgarden and the fire-breathing tenacity of tool at its fiercest. Yet, despite the highoctane, brassy tags, Helms Alee has a certain melodic softness, most specifically in its taste for rhythmic riffs and inviting song structures. Badass and menacing on the surface, the trio won’t bite, at least not too hard. MARK StocK. Bunk Bar Water, 1028 SE Water Ave., 3282865. 9:30 pm. $10 advance, $12 day of show. 21+.

Rocky Votolato, Dave Hause, Chris Farren

[FoLK PUnK] After a break of several years, Rocky Votolato returned this year with a fine-tuned, dramatic rock record. Hospital Handshakes shows a maturation from his earlier efforts, not unlike the most recent Gaslight Anthem album, while retaining the vibrant energy of a punk singer gone acoustic. the Seattle songwriter is mostly known around here for his lovelorn song “Portland Is Leaving,” but this is a chance to see his upgraded repertoire. cRIS LAnKEnAU. Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., 288-3895. 9 pm. $15. 21+.

cont. on page 28

Q&A: Daniel Barosa, director of GRU-PDX In 2013, Quarto Negro, a two-man atmospheric pop group from Brazil, flew to Portland to record an album with the help of another duo, the Helio Sequence, and brought filmmaker Daniel Barosa with them. What was initially meant as a documentary of the band’s time in the studio became an outsider’s exploration of an independent music community that simply doesn’t exist anywhere in Quarto Negro’s home country. Mixing interviews with everyone from the Dandy Warhols to Bim Ditson, full-length performances culled from Into the Woods and visits to house shows and record stores, GRU-PDX, which opens the Portland Film Festival, paints an image of Portland as the sort of DIY oasis many feel is fading, if not already obsolete. It’s sure to rankle the “Don’t Move Here” brigade. But as Barosa explained from his home in Sao Paulo, he mostly just wants the people already living here to realize how good they’ve still got it. A Brazilian filmmaker on his love letter to Portland music.

WW: Did you have any conception of Portland before starting this project? Daniel Barosa: The only thing I knew about Portland before going there was a couple bands from there that I liked. So, not much. What surprised you the most about Portland? Band-wise, there’s so many styles, which is something I didn’t expect. All the bands I knew from Portland had this similar style. But there are so many different kinds of bands there. In the film, there isn’t much about it, but there’s hip-hop and techno as well. As you mention, there’s no discussion of the hip-hop scene. Was that a conscious decision? When we were doing research for other bands, we interviewed [Fresh Selects label head] Kenny Fresh, and when we talked to him, he was talking a lot about hip-hop, and we got this huge new list of more people to talk to. But we focused on indie music—rock and the variations of it—and we thought if we went too deep into all the other styles, it’d become a huge ball of snow that wouldn’t work once we were in the editing room. As an outsider, what was your sense about how artists feel about the future of Portland? A lot of the people who’ve been there for a while, they don’t like how the city has gotten so much hype. I had an impression people don’t like where the future is going for the city. What do you hope Portland audiences get from the movie? I wanted to say, “This is the impression the city made on someone from way, way far away.” So I hope it makes them see Portland like the way I saw it, with a fresh take. Sometimes, when foreigners come to Sao Paulo, they see something and go, “Look at that! That’s so cool!” and I go, “I know, that happens all the time.” But when I see through their eyes, it’s like, “Yeah, that is nice.” So hopefully Portland will see the city like I saw it, like it’s something new, and not like the place where they live and they’re used to. MATTHEW SINGER. SEE IT: GRU-PDX screens at Mission theater, 1624 nW Glisan St., as part of the Portland Film Festival, on tuesday, Sept. 1. 7:15 pm. $15-$50. Willamette Week AUGUST 26, 2015


MUSIC Steve Earle & the Dukes, the Mastersons

[RENEGADE] The term “Texas blues” is broad, but you could say the same thing about Steve Earle’s back catalog. He’s an artist who has thrived in eclecticism ever since he first turned country music on its head in the mid-’80s, each subsequent release exploring a different shade of contemporary Americana. His latest, Terraplane, for instance, opts for the chugging blues on which the Lone Star native was raised. The album brandishes ragged solo numbers and boisterous full-band endeavors in equal measure. BRANDON WIDDER. Revolution Hall, 1300 SE Stark St., No. 110, 288-3895. 8 pm. $35. 21+.

Thee Oh Sees

[GARAGE ROCK STALWARTS] Very much at the forefront of the garage-rock surge, San Francisco’s Thee Oh Sees have been at it since the late ’90s. In many ways, it was John Dwyer and company who paved the way for the ensuing explosion that allowed the likes of Mikal Cronin and Ty Segall to achieve prominence. Granted, producing such a powerful live show over that stretch has caused occasional hiatuses and member shakeups. Yet, Dwyer is still at the helm, and Thee Oh Sees just released their ninth studio LP, Mutilator Defeated at Last. MARK STOCK. Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside St., 231-9663. 5 and 9 pm. $15. Early show all-ages, late show 21+.

Y La Bamba, Kyle Craft

[YOU’RE TOO LATE] If news of this show is just reaching you, your reaction to this listing will probably be divided into two distinct emotional phases. Phase 1: Great news! Y La Bamba, one of Portland’s quintessential folk bands, is returning after an indefinite hiatus to play a show in celebration of its as-yet-unrecorded fourth album. Phase 2: The show sold out way ahead of time. Bummer. But hey, let’s be optimists here. A new album means future shows! Yay! Of course, most of them probably won’t be held on Revolution Hall’s stunning roof deck patio like this one, so…bummer. SHANNON GORMLEY. Revolution Hall (roof deck), 1300 SE Stark St., No. 110, 288-3895. 7 pm. Sold out. 21+.

SATURDAY, AUG. 29 Failure, the New Regime

[PRE-ALT ROCK] No record best exemplified the odd time in the mid-’90s when legendary hardcore acts got snatched up by the altrock boom than Failure’s Fantastic Planet. Though the band’s tone and aesthetic were far off from the post-grunge that watered down modern rock airwaves, the urgency and masculinity of its early posthardcore sound was a likely template for all sorts of aggressive guitar-rock bands to come, for better or worse. Back after a 15-year hiatus with The Heart Is a Monster, it’s fitting that Failure’s melodic math punk has changed very little despite the fact that the scene it was born from has all but vanished. PETE COTTELL. Wonder Ballroom, 128 NE Russell St., 284-8686. 9 pm. $25 advance, $28 day of show. All ages.

Nuklear Blast Suntan, Violent Party, Erradict, Decomp

[PROG CRUST] For a milieu ostensibly bent on anarchy, the crustpunk scene is shockingly strict in its adherence to musical formulae. From Augusta, Ga., Nuklear Blast Suntan is a rare exception. It’s impossible to miss the influence of Southern forebear Antischism, but Nuklear Blast Suntan takes its rightful inheritance on a wild ride, with excursions into manic, wigged-out prog that betray a deep appreciation of Hawkwind’s


Willamette Week AUGUST 26, 2015

Space Ritual. CHRIS STAMM. High Water Mark, 6800 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., 286-6513. 9 pm. $5.

SUNDAY, AUG. 30 An Evening with Bill Frisell and Friends

[GUITAR GENTLY WEEPS] Ask 10 jazz guitarists who they would most want to have a cup of coffee with, and at least nine would say Bill Frisell. The pensive, bespectacled guitar god plays impossibly technical solos with a kind, natural ease, smiling widely during midgroove moments when his Telecaster’s melodies slow and change shape. Surrounded by like-minded deep-groovers, the 64-year-old, whose 2014 album, Guitar in the Space Age!, covered the 1950s and ’60s pop songs of his youth, will probably stretch out tonight, calmly revealing new compositional thoughts to a very appreciative audience. PARKER HALL. Alberta Rose Theatre, 3000 NE Alberta St., 719-6055. 8 pm. $30 advance, $38 day of show. Under 21 permitted with legal guardian.

Ducktails, Regal Degal, Parson Red Heads

[CHILLENCHOLIA] Considering how prolific his day job has been, one may wonder where Real Estate guitarist Matt Mondanile finds the time or inspiration to keep his Ducktails project sounding so fresh and invigorated. This year’s St. Catherine finally sees Mondanile carving out a persona that can stand alone from the melancholy jangle-pop of Real Estate, although the sensibilities that lifted that group to relative fame are still the strong suits of Ducktails, just filtered through the dour jangle of ’80s Brit pop and ’70s AM gold this time around. PETE COTTELL. Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., 288-3895 9 pm. $13 advance, $15 day of show. 21+.

Shuggie Otis, Moon By You

[PSYCHEDELIC SOUL] Reintroduced to the culture about 15 years ago through a reissue of 1971’s tripped-out Inspiration Information via David Byrne’s Luaka Bop imprint, guitarist Shuggie Otis still hasn’t issued new work after being silent for decades. He has, however, continued to release compilations, as well as a live set recorded last year in Williamsburg. The now-constant attention doesn’t seem ready to dissipate either, as the prodigy who started out on his father’s variety show and performed alongside Frank Zappa and Al Kooper embarks on a tour that’ll offer crowds a set of what amounts to an electronic-tinged Prince predecessor. DAVE CANTOR. Hawthorne Theatre, 1507 SE César E Chávez Blvd., 233-7100. 7 pm. $20 advance, $25 day of show. 21+.

MONDAY, AUG. 31 King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard, Mild High Club

[AUSSIE FUZZ] While fellow Aussie band Tame Impala drifts further away from its drug-induced core, bands like King Gizzard & the Lizard Wizard are making up for it by getting fuzzier and even more progressive. The seven-piece act just released Quarters, four tracks each clocking in at precisely 10 minutes and 10 seconds, each oozing with gooey, psychedelic magic. King Gizzard’s sound is thick, complicated and anything but predictable, drawing on the bizarreness of Roky Erickson, the change-ups of Yes and a distinctly millennial disenchantment. MARK STOCK. Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., 288-3895. 9 pm. $12. 21+.



Eagles of Death Metal, Sinner Sinners

The Lonesome Billies It’s Good To Be Lonesome (Cloud City Studios)

[SUNBURNT SOUL PUNK] In the context of stoner rock, Eagles of Death Metal is easily the oddest offshoot of the desert-rock scene that crawled out of Death Valley in the early ’90s. That’s to say that, rather than brokering in woolly riffs and comically serious Sabbath worship, the Palm Desert, Calif., duo of Jesse Hughes and Queens of the Stone Age’s Josh Homme blasts through goofy post-punk numbers that are too peppy and aerated to qualify as “metal” of any known variety. What’s left is a sincere attempt at a peacocking pop sound that leaves little guesswork to be done about what the forthcoming record Zipper Down will sound like, which is probably something to the effect of Is This It after having been left out in the sun for too long. PETE COTTELL. Wonder Ballroom, 128 NE Russell St., 284-8686. 8:30 pm. Sold out. 21+.

CLASSICAL, JAZZ & WORLD Algerian Chaabi with Kaz

[CASBAH BLUES] The Pearl District’s new Lebanese restaurant Zaatar has already caught the fancy of the city’s foodies. Now it’s becoming a home for world music, with a new weekly Middle Eastern music series to accompany your falafel and baba ghanoush on Saturdays. Curated by veteran Portland musician David Reihs, the fall lineup features his Arabic ensemble Ritim Egzotik along with music by other local stalwarts of global sounds: Persian music from Shabava and Seffarine multi-instrumentalist Bobak Salehi, Turkish folk music from Daniel Eshoo, Greek music with Brett Pitner and, this Saturday, the traditional BerberArabic folk music of Algeria called chaabi—sometimes long, often melancholy songs of friendship and love lost and sometimes found. BRETT CAMPBELL. Zaatar, 1037 NW Flanders St., 477-8237. 7 pm Saturday, Aug. 29. Free.

Dmitri Matheny Group

[LYRICAL JAZZ] Any fan of the warm, probing sound pioneered by the late, great Art Farmer will recognize the inspiration for the music of his protégé, California composer and fellow flugelhornist Dmitri Matheny. An inheritor of the West Coast cool-jazz tradition who can also summon hard-bop moves, Matheny’s latest Portland appearance features his trio with pianist Dan Gaynor and bassist Chris Higgins, characteristically laidback originals from his new album, Sagebrush Rebellion, and his previous Jazz Noir project, which featured music from film scores and more. BRETT CAMPBELL. Michelle’s Piano Company, 600 SE Stark St., 295-1180. 8 pm Saturday, Aug. 29. $12.

Terence Blanchard E-Collective

[ELECTRIC TRUMPET] As far as musical shifts go, there have been few people to run the gamut as often as New Orleans trumpeterproducer Terence Blanchard. When the then-young horn player won his first Grammy as a member of the aging Art Blakey’s band in 1984, it seemed he would forever remain a part of the bebop revival. Thirty years later, the only thing that remains the same is his virtuosity— the E-Collective sounds like Miles Davis, but it’s the stuff of Davis’ exploratory Bitches Brew era. A legendary band leader, Blanchard’s electrified soul-jazz experiment will have you grooving to the very core. PARKER HALL. Jimmy Mak’s, 221 NW 10th Ave., 295-6542. 7 and 9:30 pm Tuesday, Sept. 1. $25 general admission, $30 reserved seating. Under 21 permitted until 9:30 pm.

For more Music listings, visit

[ O U T L AW C O U N T RY ] Stray from Interstate 5 a ways and Oregon gets a little bit country. “A little bit country” also describes the Lonesome Billies, four childhood friends turned western roadhouse band from just outside of Vancouver, Wash. The gang has spent the past several years establishing its country roots in Portland, digging deeper still with its latest LP, It’s Good to Be Lonesome. Produced by Brandon Eggleston (Modest Mouse, the Mountain Goats), the 13-track effort is drenched in whiskey. It’s a drunk-anddusty lesson in self-loathing, influenced by Waylon Jennings and Sturgill Simpson. While there’s kitsch in the band’s stage names— Gator Bill, Whiskey Bill, Bill Collins and Ornery Bill—there is bona fide sincerity and gloaming in its sound. The record trots at times and wallows at others, shadowing the stereotypical up-and-down lifestyle of the hard-working, hard-drinking agrarian. There is the glass-clinking, gently swaying track “Better to Forget” and the wild shuffle of “Y’all Never Came Out West,” each given a gun-metal shimmer by steel guitar. Throughout, there is vocal camaraderie served alongside bobbing, two-stepping song structures. Life deals its various shitty blows, but the Lonesome Billies are here to help you cope, with little fuss or fabrication and plenty of plucky grit. MARK STOCK. SEE IT: The Lonesome Billies play Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., with Travesura and Jake Ray, on Saturday, Aug. 29. 9 pm. $10. 21+.

Fernando Leave the Radio On (Fluff & Gravy) [SINGER-SONGROCKER] Wikipedia says the name Fernando means “cour a g e o u s , a d v e n t u r e r, conqueror, and leader,” and as longtime watchers of Portland’s Americana scene know, in the case of Fernando Viciconte, that’s no misnomer. He is courageous in the naked passion he’s always brought to his songwriting and performances, adventurous in his studio productions and a rousing bandleader. The good news is that he’s finally conquered the health problems that have long hampered his career progress despite widespread acclaim (Billboard once compared him to Elliott Smith), and a 2013 operation to repair a long-misdiagnosed problem affecting his vocal cords means that Viciconte can finally give his latest and perhaps finest album, Leave the Radio On, the push it richly deserves. Peter Buck is far from slumming when contributing guitar or mandolin to all but three of the album’s 11 tracks. These tough and lovely songs absolutely befit his world-class accompaniment. Richmond Fontaine guitarist Dan Eccles and the album’s other players deliver inspired performances as well. Viciconte’s Lennonesque rasp has never sounded stronger, or more tender. This singer-songwriter is no self-obsessed navel-gazer; the operative pronoun here is “we,” not “I.” And despite some bleak sentiments, Radio ultimately conveys a bruised but enduring sense of hope. JEFF ROSENBERG. SEE IT: Fernando plays Star Theater, 13 NW 6th Ave., with the Delines and Mike Coykendall, on Saturday, Aug. 29. 9 pm. $10. 21+. Willamette Week AUGUST 26, 2015



Willamette Week AUGUST 26, 2015


Duff’s Garage

2530 NE 82nd Ave Laurie Morvan, Tough Lovepyle

Aladdin Theater


Alberta Street Pub


Ash Street Saloon

LaurelThirst Public House

3017 SE Milwaukie Ave Asleep at the Wheel 1036 NE Alberta St Big Haunt, Human Behavior, Karima Walker, Haley Keegan 225 SW Ash Dorado, London Victory Club, Pistachio


350 West Burnside SHE’S NOT DEAD with Prosody

Doug Fir Lounge

830 E Burnside St Houndstooth, Balto, The Hill Dogs

2126 S. W. Halsey ST. Mexican Gunfight 1001 SE Morrison St Swahili, Pleasure Curses, Mikey Fountaine, DJ Lamar, DJ Eric Fury

2958 NE Glisan St Lewi Longmire & the Left Coast Roasters

Mississippi Pizza Pub 3552 N Mississippi Ave Chervona

Mississippi Studios

3939 N Mississippi Ave Jenny Hval

Oregon Zoo

Duff’s Garage



Panic Room

2530 NE 82nd Ave Arthur Moore 2126 S. W. Halsey ST. Sloan Martin of Beach Fire

Hawthorne Theatre 1507 SE 39th The Protomen


1001 SE Morrison St We Take Holocene: Glenn Waco, Gifted Gab, Load B, Crown Z

Kelly’s Olympian

426 SW Washington St Rose City Round : Nashville style writer’s round

LaurelThirst Public House 2958 NE Glisan St Wilkinson Blades

Mississippi Studios

3939 N Mississippi Ave Great Peacock

The Blue Diamond 2016 NE Sandy Blvd The Fenix Project

The Historic Old Church

1422 SW 11th Ave Sack Lunch Concert: Amanda Taddeo

The Know


The Secret Society

116 NE Russell St La Rivera, Hunter Paye, Matthew Fountain

The White Eagle

836 N Russell St Heavy Gone Acoustic

THURS. AUG. 27 Alberta Rose Theatre

3000 NE Alberta St The Jeremy Wilson Foundation presents “Breaking Brad”: A benefit for Brad Rosen

Ash Street Saloon 225 SW Ash Brooding Herd

Bunk Bar

1028 SE Water Ave The Cannanes, Knife Pleats, World Record



The Blue Diamond

2016 NE Sandy Blvd Ben Jones and Friends

The Historic Old Church

1422 SW 11th Ave. Kimya Dawson, Hammel on Trial

The Liquor Store 3341 SE Belmont Wake The Town

The Secret Society

116 NE Russell St The Portland Lindy Society Presents Doug & Dee’s Hot Lovin’ Jazz Babies

The White Eagle 836 N Russell St Luau Cinder

Twilight Cafe and Bar 1420 SE Powell Nails Hide Metal/Urban Sex Legends/Daisy Deaths

Wonder Ballroom

128 NE Russell St Vic Mensa, Towkio

FRI. AUG. 28 Alberta Street Pub 1036 NE Alberta St The Waysiders

Ash Street Saloon

225 SW Ash Chris Newman Deluxe Combo

Bunk Bar

1028 SE Water Ave. Helms Alee, Norska, Sioux

Clinton Street Theater 2522 SE Clinton St Psychomagic

Dante’s Live

350 West Burnside Northwest Hesh Fest: Dead Moon, Fireballs of Freedom

Doug Fir Lounge

830 E Burnside St. Thee Oh Sees

350 W Burnside St. Northwest Hesh Fest: Pentagram

Duff’s Garage

Dig A Pony


736 SE Grand Ave New Move, the Domestics, Newrotic DJs

Doug Fir Lounge 830 E Burnside St The Physics

2530 NE 82nd Ave Steve Hale, Nu Wavers 2126 S. W. Halsey ST. An Evening with Pink Martini

Jimmy Mak’s

221 NW 10th Ave Sabroso

Kenton Club

2025 N Kilpatrick St Terror Apart, Smoke Rings, Antecessor, Self Shadowing Prey, DJ Jose Dee

[AUG. 26-SEPT. 1]


Kelly’s Olympian

426 SW Washington St The Autonomics, Down Dirty Shake, The Love Dimension, Children

For more listings, check out


= WW Pick. Highly recommended.

Editor: Matthew Singer. TO HAVE YOUR EVENT LISTED, send show information at least two weeks in advance on the web at wweek. com/submitevents. Press kits, CDs and especially vinyl can be sent to Music Desk, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Please include show or release date information with all physical mailings. Email:

LaurelThirst Public House

2958 NE Glisan St Old Flames, Counterfeit Cash

Mississippi Pizza Pub 3552 N Mississippi Ave Promise the Moon

Mississippi Studios

3939 N Mississippi Ave. Rocky Votolato, Dave Hause, Chris Farren

Revolution Hall

1300 SE Stark St., No. 110 Steve Earle & the Dukes, The Mastersons; Y La Bamba, Kyle Craft (roof deck)

The Blue Diamond 2016 NE Sandy Blvd The Sonny Hess and Vicki Stevens Band

The Know

2026 NE Alberta St DEAD (OZ)

The Secret Society 116 NE Russell St The Lucky Stars, The Barn Door Slammers

The White Eagle 836 N Russell St Whiskey Fever

Twilight Cafe and Bar 1420 SE Powell Lubec, Funeral Gold, Gulch, Sean Archer

SAT. AUG. 29 Aladdin Theater

3017 SE Milwaukie Ave The Led Zeppelin Experience

Alberta Rose Theatre 3000 NE Alberta St BeSpeak Love Compilation Album Release Party

Alberta Street Pub 1036 NE Alberta St pigWar

Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall

1037 SW Broadway The Gipsy Kings feat. Nicolas Reyes & Tonino Baliardo

Ash Street Saloon 225 SW Ash Owner


350 West Burnside Northwest Hesh Fest: YOB, Weedeater, Sweat Lodge, Diesto and School of Rock

Doug Fir Lounge

830 E Burnside St Scharpling & Wurster

Duff’s Garage

2530 NE 82nd Ave Kris Deelane & The Hurt


2126 S. W. Halsey ST. Jon Koonce

Goodfoot Pub & Lounge 2845 SE Stark St YAK ATTACK

Hawthorne Theatre

SMOKE ON THE WATERFRONT: Well, Portland still loves Modest Mouse, it seems. In the waning hours of MusicfestNW—which, consequently, represented the final hours of this long, hot music festival season in general—a few thousand “human turds” collected near the Morrison Bridge for Isaac Brock and company’s first local show since Brock went on Polish television to declare his adopted hometown a giant soul toilet, and there were no hard feelings evident on either side of the stage barrier (though a handful of fans did wave sticks affixed with smiling poop emojis). Should we have expected anything different, though? Portland is unerringly polite, and MFNW, at least this year, was an exceptionally polite affair. A pervasive niceness permeated the weekend, from Belle and Sebastian’s twee dance party to the Tallest Man on Earth’s earnest folk-rock, and not even the smoky haze that blanketed the city could agitate the mood. If you were starved for something grittier, you had to venture away from Waterfront Park for the night shows, where Miguel mixed motivational speeches with crotch-thrusting sexuality and Prayers introduced Portland to “cholo goth.” Or you could’ve just waited for Danny Brown to start. The Detroit rapper—who seemed to think he was performing at something called “Northwest Festival”—hit the main stage early Sunday evening, tongue wagging, flopping around like a drunk marionette and shouting paeans to kush, molly and cunnilingus in the voice of a rejected Adventure Time character. It was abrasive, rude and fun, and exactly what the festival needed. Here’s hoping there’s more of it next year. MATTHEW SINGER. See the full MusicfestNW recap at Jimmy Mak’s

221 NW 10th Ave Trixy & The Nasties, with “King” Louis Pain

Kelly’s Olympian

426 SW Washington St When We Met, Trick Sensei, Prosody

LaurelThirst Public House

2958 NE Glisan St Lynn Conover & Little Sue, Stubborn Lovers, Cedro Willie

Lovecraft Bar

421 SE Grand Ave Draft Dodgers

Michelle’s Piano Company

600 SE Stark St. Dmitri Matheny Group

Mississippi Pizza Pub 3552 N Mississippi Ave Chuck Cheesman; Rob Larkin, Rene Planchon, and Annie Corbett

Mississippi Studios

3939 N Mississippi Ave The Lonesome Billies

Oregon Zoo

4001 SW Canyon Road Huey Lewis and The News

Star Theater

1507 SE 39th The Crystal Method

13 NW 6th Ave Fernando, The Delines, Mike Coykendall

High Water Mark

The Blue Diamond

6800 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd. Nuklear Blast Suntan, Violent Party, Erradict, Decomp

2016 NE Sandy Blvd The Pat Stilwell Band

The Know

2026 NE Alberta St BIG DICK

The Secret Society

Shuggie Otis, Moon By You

116 NE Russell St Crow and the Canyon, the Blackberry Bushes, Rabbit Wilde

Kelly’s Olympian

The White Eagle

LaurelThirst Public House

836 N Russell St Mexican Gunfight

Wonder Ballroom

128 NE Russell St. Failure, the New Regime


1037 NW Flanders St. Algerian Chaabi with Kaz

SUN. AUG. 30 Alberta Rose Theatre 3000 NE Alberta St An Evening with Bill Frisell and Friends

426 SW Washington St Cathedral Pearls, Le Printemps

2958 NE Glisan St Freak Mountain Ramblers

Mississippi Pizza Pub 3552 N Mississippi Ave Fever Feel

Mississippi Studios

Twilight Cafe and Bar 1420 SE Powell Nuclear Nation, Regulo Junior, Erik Anarchy

MON. AUG. 31

225 SW Ash cadet, Disco Volante


Ash Street Saloon

2126 S. W. Halsey ST. Calico the Band


221 NW 10th Ave. Terence Blanchard E-Collective

225 SW Ash The Modern Folk, Not a Part of It 350 West Burnside DOWN DIRTY SHAKE

3939 N Mississippi Ave. Ducktails, Regal Degal, Parson Red Heads

Doug Fir Lounge



600 E Burnside St Summer Cannibals, Lee Corey Oswald

TUES. SEPT. 1 Ash Street Saloon

830 E Burnside St Rock ‘n’ Roll Flea Market 2126 S. W. Halsey ST. Groovy Wallpaper, Carmina Luna

Jimmy Mak’s

Kelly’s Olympian

426 SW Washington St Late tunage with KPSU DJ’s

Landmark Saloon

4847 SE Division St Honky Tonk Union

LaurelThirst Public House

Goodfoot Pub & Lounge

2958 NE Glisan St Jackstraw

The Blue Diamond

Kelly’s Olympian

830 E Burnside St Pickin’ On Sundays featuring Scott Law at Doug Fir Lounge

2016 NE Sandy Blvd Kevin Selfe and the Tornadoes

426 SW Washington St Open Mic hosted by Lee Aulson and Talon Bronson

3939 N Mississippi Ave. Dan Deacon, Wrestlers, Rap Class


2026 NE Alberta St. Underground Railroad to Candyland, Divers, Honeybucket

Lovecraft Bar

The Tea Zone & Camellia Lounge

3939 N Mississippi Ave. King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard, Mild High Club

Ash Street Saloon 225 SW Ash The Misery Men

Doug Fir Lounge

2126 S. W. Halsey ST. Summer Sunday Sing-aLongs with Julie McCarl and Friends

Hot Lips Pizza on Hawthorne

2211 SE Hawthorne Ave HOTLIPS Pizza 4th Annual Block Party

Hawthorne Theatre

1507 SE César E Chávez Blvd.

Star Theater

13 NW 6th Ave Alexander Hacke, Danielle D’Picciotto, Vice Device

The Know

510 NW 11th Ave Lorna Bracken Baxter Trio

The White Eagle 836 N Russell St Rob Johnston

2845 SE Stark St Sonic Forum

421 SE Grand Ave Adversary

Mississippi Studios

Mississippi Studios

The Liquor Store

3341 SE Belmont First Booze Days with Saloon Ensemble

The White Eagle 836 N Russell St The Dirty Looks

Wonder Ballroom

128 NE Russell St. Eagles of Death Metal, Sinner Sinners

The Blue Diamond 2016 NE Sandy Blvd Hot Tea Cold

Willamette Week AUGUST 26, 2015



Call for tickets or visit

Walters Cultural Arts Center

527 E. Main Street—Hillsboro, OR Box Office: 503-615-3485



Where to drink this week. 1. The 19th Hole

Southwest 15th Avenue and Yamhill Street, Nothing says summer quite like mini golf, cheap beer and blisteringly hot parking lots. Mini golf is $6 per person per ninehole round, but hanging out is free, and they’ve got $5 cans of Grapefruit Sculpin and Vortex IPA.

2. Analog Cafe

720 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 206-7439, After mild contention, the great demonstration of freedom that is Marijuana Mondays will survive OLCC scrutiny with bud giveaways through October.

3. Bit House Saloon

727 SE Grand Ave., 954-3913, In an old-man bar gone carnivalesque, former Knock Back bartender Jesse Card has a pile of single-batch bourbons, mystery-flavored boozy frozen pops, a houseblended sherry that tastes like toffee, and a pack of mostly sweet taptails.

4. Trifecta

726 SE 6th Ave., 841-6675, Trifecta is a great restaurant, but in some ways it’s an even better bar, sporting one of the most inviting rooms in Portland, and a kick-ass drink list that includes a Gibson with oregano-brined pearl onions and obscure Spanish gin.

5. Splash Bar & Brewing

904 NW Couch St., 893-5551, In a bar best known as the hangout for The Real World: Portland, they’re serving happy-hour craft beer at the unheard-of price of $1. The American Hefe tastes like slightly sweetened Widmer, but hey: It’s a dollar.

IF THE BLITZ DON’T KILL YOU: The name of Lightning Will (305 NW 21st Ave., 327-8203, is the most layered joke in Portland bars. In a location once home to the 21st Avenue outpost of Blitz—which means lightning in German, and also something about Nazis—the bar’s name is also an old-man pun about a Grateful Dead lyric. “If the thunder don’t kill you,” sings Heroin Santa in “The Wheel,” “the lightning will.” The bar itself is essentially Blitz with a coat of gray paint, but the bros have mostly departed, leaving in their wake a regular clientele that mostly consisted of calm engineers and tech types on my visits. Amid a voluminous beer selection, they ordered a whole hell of a lot of Cider Riot, in presumed Timbers solidarity. But also? There’s good food now, under longtime Portland gadabout and chef Ronnie Vance, who’s been hosting beer and cider pairing dinners here—including one from Cider Riot on Aug. 29. On the daily menu, the Ph*ck ($14, pronounced just as you think) is pho-style soup made with duck, so packed with breast and bok choy that the stock serves almost as sauce. Duck schmaltz also adorns the garlic-aioli burger ($12), rich and fatty enough it feels French on its brioche bun. Both are available for $7 in smaller form at happy hour, and both are heartily recommended. Sure, the atmosphere is more Elks Club or union hall than true hangout—there’s a nigh-unused game room in the back with foosball, skee and pool—and the bunkerlike architecture leads to a certain bunker mentality. But there is no better happy-hour meal on 21st Avenue. MATTHEW KORFHAGE.

SAT. AUG. 29 WED. AUG. 26 Dig A Pony 736 SE Grand Ave HOLLA N OATES Lovecraft Bar 421 SE Grand Ave Psychopomp curated by Ogo Eion

THURS. AUG. 27 Dig A Pony 736 SE Grand Ave Radiation City DJs

The Liquor Store 3341 SE Belmont Wake The Town


Willamette Week AUGUST 26, 2015

FRI. AUG. 28 Dig A Pony 736 SE Grand Ave

Dig A Pony

736 SE Grand Ave Colin Jones


Cooky Parker

1001 SE Morrison St DJs Kiffo & Rymes


Killingworth Dynasty 832 N Killingsworth SOUL a GO-GO! DANCE PARTY! Lovecraft Bar 421 SE Grand Ave DJ Grim Ripper

1001 SE Morrison St Dr. Adam Lovecraft Bar 421 SE Grand Ave Club Kai Kai Drag Dance Party Moloko 3967 N Mississippi Ave Monkeytek & Friends Roseland Theater 8 NW 6th Ave. Ruby Rose

The Liquor Store


MON. AUG. 31 Kelly’s Olympian

426 SW Washington St Eye Candy VJ’s Music Videos in the bar

TUES. SEPT. 1 Kelly’s Olympian

426 SW Washington St Late tunage with KPSU DJ’s

Willamette Week AUGUST 26, 2015


aug. 26–sept. 1 HOTSEAT

= WW Pick. Highly recommended.



Most prices listed are for advance ticket sales. At-the-door increases and so-called convenience charges may apply, so it’s best to call ahead. Editor: ENID SPITZ. Theater: ENID SPITZ ( Comedy: MIKE ACKER ( Dance: ENID SPITZ ( TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, submit information at least two weeks in advance to:

THEATER OPENINGS & PREVIEWS The Theory of Everything

Grandma May admits that she had a run-in with extraterrestrials to the group gathered at her weekly UFO-watching party at a Las Vegas wedding chapel, spurring a 24-hour vigil where more and more secrets come to light. Thai playwright Prince Gomolvilas’ wonky work is described as a pan-Asian-American dram-com with hints of Waiting for Godot. Local director Rusty Tennant directs the small cast through this staged reading. Artists Repertory Theatre, 1515 SW Morrison St., 241-1278. 2 pm Saturday, Aug. 29. $10.

NEW REVIEWS A Lover’s Complaint & The Rape of Lucrece

Kicking off his ambitious project to adapt and direct all of Shakespeare’s long poems as dramas, local director Michael Streeter stages two long poems addressing rape culture and love in modern society. In the The Rape of Lucrece, a man named Tarquin rapes the eponymous woman (Post5’s Jessica Tidd) while her husband is away at war. Although this is a monstrous act, Tarquin still comes across as human because he shows doubt and regret. While painful to watch at times, the original soundtrack by local composer Matt Insley and Tidd’s deft delivery make Lucrece’s subject matter easier to stomach. The more lighthearted A Lover’s Complaint follows Heidi Hunter as a lover, bastard mother and nun who’s seduced by a young lover (Tyler Buswell) intent on adding her as another feather in his cap. The short and steamy poem is full of sex, lust and thrusting but leaves room for improvised comedy, too—in one performance, Hunter jokingly added that she might’ve chipped Buswell’s tooth as she walked offstage. Jumping between Post5’s outdoor courtyard and indoor stage, the contrast between Complaint’s pink stage with tea lights and the dark, boxy set of Lucrece makes each show more memorable. After the show, Streeter explains in a director’s chat that Lucrece fits right into modern Cosby scandal headlines and that Complaint’s Shakespearean drama is actually just like Tinder. KAYLA HEFFNER. Post5 Theater, 1666 SE Lambert St., 971-258-8584. 7 pm Thursday, 8 pm Friday-Sunday, Aug. 28-30. $15.


Three women from three different eras ponder science, space and daddy issues in this premiere of Playwrights West writer Claire Willett’s 2012 Fertile Ground feature. In modern day Texas, the 10-year-old daughter of a creationist TV pundit finds a passion for science and pens diary entries to Galileo. In 1990s Arizona, a New York sculptor copes with the absence of her astrophysicist father. And in Renaissance Italy, Celeste Galilei cares for her elderly father Galileo, who lives under house arrest for defying the Catholic Inquisition. CoHo Theater, 2257 NW Raleigh St., 220-2646. 7:30 pm Thursday-Saturday, Aug. 27-29. $15-$25.

Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog

Patrick Harris got so many views that it crashed the site. Lacking Harris, Funhouse’s Isaac Frank stars as Billy, aka Dr. Horrible, whose sole aspirations are getting accepted into the Evil League of Evil and finding the balls to speak to his crush at the laundromat. But Dr. Horrible’s superhero archnemesis, the dashing Captain Hammer, is making both corruption and love difficult. Fully utilizing his 3-D advantage, Funhouse artistic director Trenton Shine added songs, dancing and a gender swap to the serial blog. On Aug. 13 to 15, the leads playing Dr. Horrible and Penny switch roles. Funhouse Lounge, 2432 SE 11th Ave., 841-6734. 7 pm Thursday-Saturday, Aug. 27-29. $16-$20.

The Praying Mantis

Chilean playwright Alejandro Sieveking lived in political exile in Costa Rica for 10 years, hence the heavy theme of political repression in this comedic mystery play. When Adela brings her suitor home to meet the family, lust takes over. Her two elder sisters, both accused of killing their husbands, try to steal the young buck, but the only woman he’s drawn to is a mysterious younger sister who stays shuttered behind closed doors. Twilight Theater’s three-person cast takes on the play’s six roles, weaving an intricate web of characters in practice and in theory. Twilight Theater, 7515 N Brandon Ave., 847-9838. 8 pm Thursday-Saturday, 3 pm Sunday, Aug. 27-30. $15.


On an otherwise sparse stage in a large, empty room, Katie Watkins sits on the ground, surrounded by a semicircle of more than two dozen lamps. The lights flicker on and off as the distant roar of a hundred whispers begins to build like a storm. She stands in what looks like an attempt to run before buckling at the waist, her back and arms stiff, and releases a breathy, voiceless scream. It is terrifying, uncomfortable and hypnotic. It may be impossible to convey what it feels like to be held hostage in your own mind—locked in the grip of mental illness. Even Watkins, whose new onewoman performance piece, Schizo, is about her brother Jeff’s struggle against schizophrenia, makes no claims to truly understand what he has dealt with. Watkins gives a recitation of the myriad prescriptions given over the years, from Paxil and Zoloft to a potent cocktail of antipsychotics and a particularly haunting song describes all the ways Jeff could kill himself if he really wanted to—from household poison to a tin-can lid in this short but provocative performance which proves an effective vehicle for illustrating a topic that is often ignored. PENELOPE BASS. Shaking the Tree Theatre, 823 SE Grant St., 235-0635. 8 pm Thursday-Saturday through Aug. 29. $15.

Up The Fall

The first-ever original musical commissioned for PHAME (Pacific Honored Artists, Musicians, Entertainers)—an arts community for adults with disabilities—Up the Fall follows various myths from cultures around the world. Playwrights West founder and multiple Drammy Award-winner Matthew B. Zrebski directs a cast of adults both with and without disabilities in what PHAME calls a “mythical music-theater journey,” set to the folksy original soundtrack by Portland singer-songwriter Laura Gibson. This premiere is a collaborative effort written by Debbie Lamedman and with additional music by Matthew Gailey. Artists Repertory Theatre, 1515 SW Morrison St, 241-1278. 7:30 pm Thursday-Saturday through Aug. 29. $28.

In 2008, the debut of Joss Whedon’s (Buffy the Vampire Slayer) online superhero musical starring Neil


Willamette Week AUGUST 26, 2015

CONT. on page 35

uPSWIng: Anna Thomas-Henry.

AMERICA’S TOP AERIALIST ANNA THOMAS-HENRY STARTED IN BROOKLYN’S UNDERGROUND CIRCUS. American circus arts are enjoying a second, or third, coming. While the circus continued to be seen as art in places like France and China, it largely went underground in the United States after the Ringling Brothers’ peak in the 1920s, with a few attempts at a resurgence, like the Jim Rose rock circus in the 1990s. Now aerialists, hand-balancers and Hula-Hoopers are a notable slice of the Northwest’s theater scene. Companies such as Portland’s Circus Project and Seattle’s School of Acrobatics and New Circus Arts are growing thanks to the popularity of shows like Cirque du Soleil and the 24/7 work ethic of performers, such as SANCA instructor Anna Thomas-Henry. Thomas-Henry, who won first place in women’s silks at the U.S. Aerial Championships in February, will join the Circus Project this Sunday for a showcase that proves just how far circus arts have come. In her performances, Thomas-Henry climbs a long piece of silk suspended from the ceiling, looping it around herself until she dangles 25 feet above the stage in a vertical splits. With a flick of her hips, she unwinds in a stomach-turning fall. But circus arts, she says, are on the upswing. ENID SPITZ. WW: How did you get into circus arts? What made you decide to make it a career? Anna Thomas-Henry: I was a musical theater performer in NYC looking for an interesting new hobby. After a few months of [aerial] classes, I was picked up by one of my teachers to start performing with her renegade, underground Brooklyn circus troupe. It was a fun group that I was inspired by, but I realized I was being put in situations that were unsafe. I had very little education and shouldn’t have been performing. So I found a professional preparatory program in NYC and went into training full time. You’ve trained in New York City, Shanghai and Seattle. How does the U.S. compare? The Northwest is pretty great by U.S. standards

but lacks the history that places like China, Hong Kong or France have. Here it is very much considered a new art since its revival from the heyday of the traveling three-ring circus. The difference is that circus went through a lull for decades here... so now we are sort of starting fresh again. You just won first place at the 2015 U.S. Aerial Championships, and you were a finalist at the Aerial Acrobatic Arts Festival—what are those competitions like? We are a very interconnected industry. Going into a competition feels more like a geeky industry meet-up than a competition. It’s a time to meet folks whose work you admire, reconnect, gauge trends and share your work. Is aerial more about performance—like a dance—or strength? In the circus, we consider our acts to be in the art category, because we put them on stage rather than in a sports arena. We want audience engagement, not points against one another. How does your profession as a circus artist cross over into your “real life”? At this point, my profession is my real life. I’ve got all my eggs in the circus basket. Work and play are not separate, and that can either feel like I’m working all the time or like I’m playing all the time. What is your training regimen? When I was in circus school, I would spend 30 to 40 hours a week training. That was ideal. Now, I’m typically in the circus gym five to six days a week, from four to 12 hours a day. At the moment, it’s hand-balancing, contortion, trampoline and rope, out of necessity. I miss my silks! I’ll be performing an act that I developed in circus school as my specialty and that has earned me acceptance into competitions and festivals. It’s technically complex but not flashy and feels a bit intimate, like a memory. See IT: Summer Community Showcase is at the Circus Project, 1420 NW 17th Ave., No. 388, 764-9174. 6 pm Sunday, Aug. 30. Free.



AUG. 26–SEPT. 1


COMEDY & VARIETY The Comedy Bull

An intense and high-energy game show, The Comedy Bull has come to Helium. Hosted by Anatoli Brant and featuring Diera Bowie, Becky Braunstein, Gabe Dinger, Veronica Heath, Sean Connery, David Mascorro and Jacob Christopher, the comedians in this show must perform their best prepared material while dealing with unexpected improvisational challenges and audience interaction. Each acts competes to see whose on-thespot observations are the best, but it’s the audience that always wins. Helium Comedy Club, 1510 SE 9th Ave., 888-643-8669, 8 pm Wednesday, Aug. 26. $12-$26. 21+.

Curious Comedy Open Mic

Curious hosts a weekly openmic night. Sign-ups begin at 7:15, and comics get three minutes of stage time apiece. Curious Comedy Theater, 5225 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., 477-9477. 8 pm Sunday, Aug. 30. Free.

Curious Comedy Showdown, featuring PIPES

Curious Comedy’s improvisers duke it out, in hopes of winning audience votes. After a brief intermission, Curious’ finest perform PIPES, a totally improvised musical comedy that is completely new and different for every performance. Curious Comedy Theater, 5225 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., 477-9477, 7:30 pm Friday and Saturday, Aug. 28-29. $12-$15.

Earthquake Hurricane

The weekly comedy showcase with the four-headed host is back for another installment. This time, local comedy superfriends Bri Pruett, Anthony Lopez, Alex Falcone and Curtis Cook present Mac Blake, Dinah Foley, Chase Brockett and Jon Gomora, all the way from Sacramento. Grab a craft beer or a mug of artisan coffee, test ride a fixie and laugh your ass off. Velo Cult, 1969 NE 42nd Ave., 922-2012. 9 pm Wednesday, Aug. 26. $5 suggested donation.

Garbage People Present: Cool Story Bro

Hosts Brodie Kelly and Lewis Sequeira are flipping the script because it’s still summer vacation. Local comedians Bri Pruett, Gabe Dinger, Adam Pasi, Laura Anne Whitley and James Barela, along with special guest Carl Powers, tell their most bitchin’ and radical stories, not the gnarly ones that Garbage People is known for. Chill out to Kyle McCormick’s rocking guitar and get ready to enjoy some cool stories, bro. The Waypost, 312 N Williams Ave., 367-3182. 8:30 pm Saturday, Aug. 29. $5. 21+.

Hell or Highwater

Got a thirst for the best of the local comedy scene? Monday night at the High Water Mark features the most recent installment of Curtis

Cook’s Hell or Highwater comedy showcase. With Curtis out of town, Portland’s Funniest Person runner-up (2014) Adam Pasi will be holding down hosting duties and presenting a lineup of local funny people Katie Rose Leon, Neeraj Srinivasan, Jacob Christopher, Nathan Brannon and Patrick Quinn. It’s a night of local stars and stars on the rise. MIKE ACKER. The High Water Mark, 6800 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., 286-6513. 9 pm Monday, Aug. 31. Free.

Minority Retort

A standup show produced by Jeremy Eli and Jason Lamb that gives the spotlight to comedians of color. Tonight’s lineup includes Nathan Brannon, Katie Nguyen, Crystal Davis, Anthony Lopez and David Mascorro. Curious Comedy Theater, 5225 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., 477-9477. 9:30 pm Friday, Aug. 28. $7-$10.

Naked Comedy Open Mic

The Brody hosts a twice-weekly open-mic night. Comics get fourminute standup slots and can sign up online. Free with one-item minimum purchase. Brody Theater, 16 NW Broadway, 224-2227. 9:30 pm Wednesday, Aug. 26. Free.

Odd Couples

A new Brody showcase enters its extensive lineup, an all-in-one improv, music, sketch comedy and mash-up jam. Audience members will have the opportunity to sign up, join the ensemble and bare it all onstage. Don’t worry, if you chicken out this time, it’ll be back the following Thursday. AMY WOLFE. Brody Theater, 16 NW Broadway, 224-2227. 9:30 pm Thursday, Aug. 27. $5.

Open Court

Team-based, long-form improv open to audience members and performers of all stripes. Curious Comedy Theater, 5225 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., 477-9477. 7:30 pm Thursday, Aug. 27. $5.

Random Acts of Comedy

Curious Comedy puts on a freewheeling show that brings together sketch, standup and improv. Curious Comedy Theater, 5225 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., 4779477. 9:30 pm Saturday, Aug. 29. $7-$10.

Rory Albanese

Winner of nine Primetime Emmy Awards as writer and executive producer for The Daily Show, Rory Albanese brings his unique brand of comedy to Helium for three night of standup. Prolific and hilarious, Albanese has toured the country and headlined comedy clubs, been a performer on John Oliver’s New York Stand-Up Show and currently serves as executive producer for the critically acclaimed The Nightly Show with Larry Wilmore. And for those who prefer their comedy audio and not visual, Albanese regularly voices “The American” on The Bugle

podcast. No doubt he’ll make for an entertaining and enlightening evening. Helium Comedy Club, 1510 SE 9th Ave., 888-643-8669. 8 pm Thursday, 7:30 and 10 pm, FridaySaturday, Aug. 27-29. $15-$31.

DANCE The Art of Bellydance

Yes, Portland has its own belly dancing magazine. From the Hip presents the Art of Bellydance, turning the regular home of Rocky Horror into a hip-swinging showcase, with talent from exotic places like Salem and Bellingham, and live music from local band the Lonesome Crows, Peruvian songwriter Martin Zarzar and Iranian instrumentalist Bobak Salehi, who was recognized as a “master setarist” by the Oregon Historical Society in 1999. Clinton Street Theater, 2522 SE Clinton St, 238-5588. 7 pm Saturday, Aug. 29. $15.

Black Lodge Burlesque

If, like the rest of us, you just can’t get enough of the semi-traumatizing works of David Lynch (Twin Peaks, Blue Velvet, Mulholland Drive), Star Theater will save you with its Black Lodge Burlesque, a returning, Lynch-inspired cabaret performance that’s been selling out venues in Seattle and Portland for years. One of the most bizarre and beloved local burlesques, it guarantees in-performance interaction and the infamous Log Lady, for better or worse. Star Theater, 13 NW 6th Ave, 345-7892. 7 and 9:30 pm Thursday, Aug. 27. $15.

The Circus Project: Summer Community Showcase

Taking to the air in silks and on trapeze or twirling onstage inside a cyr wheel, students and veteran circus instructors showcase their newest projects at this collective show that’s more dance theater than “big top.” Eight short acts include bits from former Cirque du Soleil performer Patrick McGuire and Anna Thomas-Henry, who just won the 2015 U.S. Aerial Championships. The Circus Project, 1420 NW 17th Ave., No. 388, 764–9174. 6 pm Monday, Aug. 30. Free.

Tinto de Verano

Tinto de Verano is a sangria-like summer wine, both refreshing and intoxicating. It’s a fitting title for La Peña Flamenca de Portland’s latest flamenco performance, which will bring together dancers and musicians from California, New York, France and Portland, including French flamenco singer Cristo Cortés, Andrea La Canela, Ricardo Diaz and Brenna McDonald. The Headwaters Theatre, 55 NE Farragut St., No. 9, 233-8613, 7:30 pm Sunday, Aug. 30. $18.


As a singer-songwriter, Keith paints intricate portraits of the human condition with powerful melodic images, deep engaging guitar rhythms and husky, heart-wrenching vocals. His masterfully crafted tunes and powerful presence have earned him the top songwriting awards at the prestigious Telluride Blue Grass Festival, The Kerrville Folk Festival and The Napa Valley Folk Festival.



WaveSauce is an instrumental pulp/surf/spy-fi band. The ethereal Theremin, vintage guitar tone, and powerful rhythm give this band a tasty, reverbified edge that sets them apart from the rest. WaveSauce delivers unique originals, creative renditions of traditional surf, spiced with their very own spy-fi-pulp flavor.


Called a “nigh-on-perfect fusion of bubblegum-sweet tunefulness and clever, subtly barbed lyrics” (Icon Magazine) and “simply wonderful” (PopMatters), The Corner Laughers have received high praise for their sound. It’s a sound that defies pigeonholes but has been compared to that of Kirsty MacColl, XTC and, despite some sunshine-pop tendencies, the “rainy melancholia” of Camera Obscura (Magnet Magazine).

For more Performance listings, visit Willamette Week AUGUST 26, 2015




= WW Pick. Highly recommended. By MEGAN HARNED. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, submit show information—including opening and closing dates, gallery address and phone number—at least two weeks in advance to: Visual Arts, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Email:

Allyson Ross

Plinths and drapery hold strong meaning in art history, not as art themselves, but as the accessories that allow fine pieces to be elevated and protected. Allyson Ross turns her eye to these accessories, merging them into a single piece. In so doing, she asks her audience to notice these “extra” structures not as supporting materials, but as the focus themselves. Furthermore, she recreates the fine plinth and velvet out of mundane contemporary building materials. If Cameo Gallery continues to show this level of work, then I look forward to a long and successful run. Closing reception 6-9 pm Thursday, Aug. 27. Cameo Gallery, 2809 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd.

A Peanut in a Suit Is a Peanut Nonetheless

Daniel Long appropriates both common painting techniques and visual symbols into an open-ended rumination on representation and narrative. The ensuing world—populated by scenes of largely ancient Egyptian and Greco-Roman pottery floating amidst textured backdrops and hieroglyphic serpents, disguised as MS Paint squiggles, attempting to pop off the surface plane—is a rabbit hole wherein visual references constantly collide and combust. Through Sept. 19. Nationale, 3360 SE Division St., 477-9786.

Beauty in the Age of Indifference

This self-proclaimed “controversial” exhibition celebrates and challenges our notions of what is beautiful, and what role beauty plays in a contemporary society obsessed and distracted by new technologies which have obliterated old ways of doing and seeing things. These disruptive patterns of behavior, and our ability to constantly need to upgrade and adapt to them have taken us away from traditional appreciation of how important beauty is in our lives. Jeffrey Thomas Fine Art, 2219 NW Raleigh St., 544-3449.

Decimate Mesh

Ryan Woodring’s latest work comes in response to the recent onslaught of videos released by terrorist groups depicting the destruction of sculpture and artifacts from ancient Near East civilizations. Utilizing his background in the visual effects industry, Woodring reconstructs these artifacts both digitally and physically using only the pixels supplied in the videos. The accuracy of the reconstruction is dependent on the amount of screen time the object was given as well as the stability of the footage (i.e. camera shake, obstruction of the view of the object, etc.) Through this process of reconstruction Woodring explores digital dissemination as a complicated mechanism of both destruction and

introduction—sensationalism and education—via 3-D printed objects, manipulated videos, and fabric work. Duplex Gallery, 219 NW Couch St., 206-5089.

Emerging Dissolving

Loving and losing love, an action and state of being that is as much a part of being human as is the need to drink water, are the themes of Danielle Wyckoff ’s site/sight-specific installation at Northwest Portland’s newest gallery. Using hand-scribed mulberry paper, salt and water, Wyckoff ’s installation will use material and metaphorical transformations found in the natural world to explore common human experiences. Soltesz Fine Art, 1825 NW 23rd Ave., 971-276-9097.

Foreign and Domestic

The red cups in a game of beer pong, the garish flowers at a funeral, the picnic table cloth or the paper plates of summer. These ubiquitous and often ignored experiences buzz around the landscape of our lives. Sanders mixes them with a deep history of painterly mark-making and the doldrums of daily life. The high- and lowbrow become unified beneath a wash of golden California light. Carl & Sloan Contemporary, 8371 N Interstate Ave., No. 1, 360-608-9746.

The Great Debate About Art

The Great Debate About Art, curated in collaboration with Envoy Enterprises, is a show that prompted artists to respond to the ideas in the titular book by recently-deceased Oxford University linguist Roy Harris. Surprisingly for a group show inspired by postmodern art theory, it doesn’t suck. Featuring work by Ben Buswell, Srijon Chowdhury, Max Cleary, Anne Doran, Zack Dougherty, Erika Keck and Rodrigo Valenzuela. Upfor Gallery, 929 NW Flanders St., 227-5111.


Prehensility: The quality of a limb or organ that has adapted for grasping or holding. Olivia Knapp’s intricate, handdrawn, pen-and-ink style is influenced by European line engravings of decorative relief and scientific specimens from the 16th to 18th centuries. Her current collection uses body organs as contrasting characters in an ongoing story. By subtly anthropomorphizing these organs, she hopes the viewer can separate their “sense of self” from their own mind and yearnings, and empathize with these vital fleshy vessels. Hellion Gallery, 19 NW 5th Ave., Suite 208, 851-6163.

For more Visual Arts listings, visit

DON’T SWEAT IT: Larry Yes.

LARRY YES, POSITIVE WORDS When an “epic windstorm” took down the f e n c e a t L a r r y Ye s ’ North Portland home in 2014, the local jack-ofall-trades decided not to rebuild. Instead, he painted the fence posts with bright colors—like a Crayola explosion—and the most optimistic words he could find. Yes (that is his real name) was working as the art curator for NoPo’s Cherry Sprout Produce market and had an exhibit fall through, so he filled the bare walls with his technicolor fence posts instead. The cedar slabs read things like “brave,” “spectaculous,” “you” and “truth,” words he crowdsourced from customers. In contrast to dark, intellectual and subtle art installations, Yes’ Positive Words hits you with all the effervescence of Pop Rocks and soda. “My wife was pregnant at the time and I was high on the super-joy of having a kid,” Yes says. “There have to be dark arts, I dig that. But all the skull and crossbones, ‘I hate my dad,’ blah blah blah is supertaken care of.” A self-described “poor, chubby kid,” Yes says he’s seen a lot of dark shit, including witnessing two of his best friends suffer fatal injuries while biking when a drunken driver veered to miss hitting Yes and drove into his friends. You’d be hard-pressed to find a more optimistic indie artist, though. According to Yes, on some strange level any word can be PDX Window Project will showcase exhibit 24/7.

turned into a positive. “Maybe being overly optimistic is kind of my mission,” he says. Patrons at Cherry Sprout bought into the optimism, purchasing fence posts for $10 each. “Yum,” “peace” and “supercalifragilisticexpialidocious” were top sellers, and Yes used the money to buy diapers. But the audience was less sunny on Southeast Holgate Boulevard, where Yes put up a second installation at Marigold Coffee. “People there were angry,” he says. They pointed out misspellings and faulted the work for being overly happy. Still, Yes was pleased. “That made me so happy,” he says. “I guess I was just glad they had a response. I want people to feel how they feel.” Yes’ downed fence posts are now long gone, so when he’s not playing gigs around town with his band Larry Yes & the Tangled Mess, he trolls NoPo’s streets and Craigslist for broken cedar fences, repurposing them into “cathartic and cheesy” art. Starting on Saturday, Positive Words will scream neon “fantasticalness” and “forgiveness” to passersby from PDX Contemporary Art’s Window Project on Northwest Flanders Street. “Ninety-nine percent of life is pretty awesome,” Yes says. “It’s all, like, harmonizing together. I think we need that instead of, ‘We’re all gonna diiiie!” ENID SPITZ. SEE IT: Positive Words opens Saturday, Aug. 29, at PDX Window Project, 925 NW Flanders St., 222-0063. Through Sept. 26.


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Willamette Week AUGUST 26, 2015

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aug. 26–sept. 1

= WW Pick. Highly recommended. By JAMES HELMSWORTH. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, submit lecture or reading information at least two weeks in advance to: WORDS, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Email: Fax: 243-1115.

WEDNESDAY, AUG. 26 Brian and Wendy Froud

If How to See Faeries reminds you of a babe, or jokes therein, that’s OK. Illustrator Brian Froud worked on the concept art for Jim Henson’s The Dark Crystal and Labyrinth. This year’s Faeries’ Tales mixes images and finds him teaming up again with his wife, Wendy, to create multimedia profiles of magical folk. Powell’s City of Books, 1005 W Burnside St., 228-4651. 7:30 pm. Free.

Shane Kuhn

Best-selling author Shane Kuhn’s Hostile Takeover follows character John Lago as the killing continues. The movie rights have already been sold; Dave Franco is attached. Powell’s Books at Cedar Hills Crossing, 3415 SW Cedar Hills Blvd., 228-4651. 7 pm. Free.

THURSDAY, AUG. 27 Brian Doyle, Tom Janikowski and Amy Schutzer

Local author Amy Schutzer’s Spheres of Disturbance told the story of a woman’s death from nine different perspectives and was up for an Oregon Book Award. Fellow local Brian Doyle’s Martin Marten tells the story of a boy who becomes friends with a pine marten near Mount Hood. Annie Bloom’s Books, 7834 SW Capitol Highway, 246-0053. 7 pm. Free.

Christopher Moore

People in San Francisco are losing their souls. That’s also a plot point in Christopher Moore’s latest, Secondhand Souls. It’s up to a 14-inch-tall meat puppet and a Buddhist monk to save the day. Powell’s Books at Cedar Hills Crossing, 3415 SW Cedar Hills Blvd., 228-4651. 7 pm. Free.

Jennifer Pashley

Small towns are a trap. In Jennifer Pashley’s debut novel, The Scamp, Rayelle Reed sees a shot at escape when detective Couper Gale rolls into town to investigate a series of disappearances. Powell’s City of Books, 1005 W Burnside St., 228-4651. 7:30 pm. Free.

SATURDAY, AUG. 29 Ellen Urbani

Landfall is set in the wake of Hurricane Katrina, where teenager Rose gets in a car crash that kills both her mother and a survivor with the same name, and embarks on a quest to find that girl’s family. Ellen Urbani, a native Southerner who lives on a farm outside of Portland, is no stranger to tragedy. Her last book, When I Was Elena, documented her stint in the Peace Corps during Guatemala’s civil war. Powell’s Books, 1005 W Burnside St., 228-4651. 4 pm. Free.

Emily Winfield Martin

Local author and illustrator Emily Winfield Martin (Day Dreamers) returns with another children’s book, The Wonderful Things You Will Be, full of kids on vivid adventures. Also, there will be cupcakes. Nice. Green Bean Books, 1600 NE Alberta St., 954-2354. 2 pm.

Sue Grafton

Since 1982, Grafton has been working her way through the alphabet with detective mysteries bearing titles like A Is for Alibi and R Is for Ricochet. This year, she’s releasing X, which is apparently just for that. Powell’s Books at Cedar Hills Crossing, 3415 SW Cedar Hills Blvd., 228-4651, 4 pm. Free.

MONDAY, AUG. 31 The Beer Bible

Portland writer Jeff Alworth has been running the Beervana blog for the better part of a decade. The Beer Bible is the result of two years of globetrotting and beer drinking, an all-encompassing look at humans’ finest invention. Powell’s Books at Cedar Hills Crossing, 3415 SW Cedar Hills Blvd., 228-4651, 7 pm. Free.

Day Trips From Portland, Oregon

over Oregon, so trust that this guide is thorough. Powell’s Books on Hawthorne, 3723 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 228-4651. 7:30 pm. Free.

M.J. Rose, Wendy Webb and Cat Winters

A woman runs from her husband to a Parisian mansion and gets possessed by a witch in The Witch of Painted Sorrows by M.J. Rose. In The Vanishing, by Wendy Webb, a woman becomes caretaker to a horror novelist at her spooky mansion. In Cat Winters’ The Uninvited, a stricken woman is haunted by ghosts of the deceased in influenza-ridden 1918. Annie Bloom’s Books, 7834 SW Capitol Highway, 246-0053. 7 pm. Free.

For more Books listings, visit

Kim Cooper Findling has lived all


JORGE CERVANTES, THE CANNABIS ENCYCLOPEDIA Jorge Cervantes is old school. He smokes joints. He wrote a book that’s never going to make it onto Kindle. Cervantes—real name George Van Patten—is the author of The Cannabis Encyclopedia: The Definitive Guide to Cultivation & Consumption of Medical Marijuana (selfpublished, 596 pages, $50). He is visiting relatives in Portland on his way to Seattle’s Weed: all about it. Hempfest—his trunk filled with copies of his 330,000-word tome. Looking every bit the hippie with his long blond hair, full white beard, and brown-tinted sunglasses, Cervantes notes it’s been 32 years since he printed his first marijuana-growing book, Indoor Marijuana Horticulture, by renting a lithograph at the Instaprint on Southeast 82nd Avenue and Foster Road. The book sold more than 1 million copies, Cervantes claims, and was dubbed the “Indoor Grower’s Bible.” Cervantes turned his early authorial success into the Jorge Cervantes’ Indoor Garden Store in Portland, selling high-intensity discharge light systems of his own invention, until he was raided and shut down by the Drug Enforcement Administration in 1989. After what he calls the scariest years of his life, he republished his first book as Gardening Indoors With Soil & Hydroponics in 1995 and left the country, staying mostly in Spain. He and his wife, Estella, eventually moved back to the U.S. in 2006, buying a home in Sonoma, Calif. Seven years ago, he started work on The Cannabis Encyclopedia, calling it his final book. He said he broke down emotionally and had to stop writing the opus at least once a year. “After 33 years of writing for money, publicly, I’m pretty good at it,” Cervantes says. “But now I have made enough money to hire good editors to make the writing great.” Cervantes calls his tome a “true encyclopedia with everything in it,” complete with a background on medical cannabis and gardening case studies he recommends reading before starting a grow. Fifty pages are devoted to nutrient deficiencies in soil. Fifty more are dedicated to pest control, and another 50 to hydroponics. This book isn’t just for advanced gardeners, however. There are step-by-step pictorial instructions on how to make a tincture and to create clones, which he calls “the most traumatic incident cannabis plants can experience.” He also opines on the proper way to add cannabis to beer (using kief, hashish or oil) and to make cannabis wine, “the only original style of wine created in the New World.” The only marijuana-related question left out was how to roll a joint, which Cervantes was happy to demonstrate at a table outside Crema cafe. He rolled it Spanish-style. TYLER HURST. GO: Jorge Cervantes will sign copies of The Cannabis Encyclopedia in the public lobby of Oregon’s Finest, 1327 NW Kearney St., 971-254-4765,, on Thursday, Aug. 27, 6-8 pm. Free. Willamette Week AUGUST 26, 2015




= WW Pick. Highly recommended.

OPENING THIS WEEK Birds of Neptune

C+ Birds of Neptune will have its Northwest premiere as the opening narrative film for this week’s Portland Film Festival. Caught somewhere between the creepy dreaminess of Robert Altman’s 3 Women and the claustrophobic hell of Ingmar Bergman’s midcareer chamber films, this drama by Steven Richter is an odd, stilted affair that never quite finds its footing. Molly Elizabeth Parker and Britt Harris star as Mona and Rachel, sisters whose intense and hermetic bond gets stretched to its breaking point when Zach (Kurt Conroyd), a stand-in for ostensibly nice creeps everywhere, inserts himself into their damaged dynamic as a manipulative father-lover-savior figure. Richter brings Zach’s nastiness to life in sharp, unsettling ways, but he doesn’t seem to know how to handle the sisters. Mona and Rachel are more like mood pieces than people, and the slow drift of their shared sadness isn’t quite enough to make audiences ache the way Birds of Neptune wants them to. NR. CHRIS STAMM. Cinema 21. 6:30 pm Tuesday, Sept. 1. $35, includes admission to the film and after-party. Tickets at


B+ Both celebrating and mourning Bridgetown’s vibrant, exploding music scene, this hyperlocal documentary screening on opening night of the Portland Film Festival follows Brazilian duo Quarto Negro as they travel to Portland for their second album. With help from a long lineup of local acts like the Helio Sequence, GRU-PDX (GRU is the code for the airport in Sao Paolo) lets viewers ride the roller coaster of the recording process, splicing picturesque shots of Mount Hood with Quarto Negro adding Sriracha to meals in familiar dive bars and recording inside a bare-bones basement that looks like a museum of instruments. Mini music videos from local artists like Radiation City and Natasha Kmeto showcase recognizable spots, like the Astoria docks or an eerie Forest Park tunnel. Though overly optimistic about Portland’s music scene (interviewees regularly cite cheap housing as one of the city’s many benefits), the film waxes nostalgic too, winding back through the ages with retrospective musings from the Dandy Warhols, Portugal the Man and the Thermals. As longtime Portlanders and service workers-turned-rockers describe their dive-bar days, playing gritty venues and living off plain rice, it seems like everyone here is a musician. NR. AMY WOLFE. Mission Theater. 7 pm Tuesday, Sept. 1. $35, includes admission to the film and after-party. Tickets at

No Escape

B A taut, relentlessly old-fashioned thriller that plays shamelessly upon the worst fears imagined by First World families on exotic vacations, No Escape at first appears uncomfortably exploitative of a presumed collective racism. From the moment a Texan couple (Owen Wilson and Lake Bell) arrives in a politically unstable Southeast Asian country, the film obsesses over the leads’ whiteness. The story completely follows obvious ethnic lines, inviting unwelcome historical parallels, and Pierce Brosnan reprises his role as a gin-soaked colonial guide and protector. But in this case, his twinkling parody of a British secret agent has gone to seed and the Yanks have no defining characteristics beyond unflagging optimism and cheerful ignorance. As the couple runs for their lives, the film romanticizes innocence abroad more than most homegrown genre vehicles have for generations. It ignores how the proud Americans illegally enter Vietnam by any means necessary, emphasizing instead how foreign nations are all intrinsically dan-



Editor: ENID SPITZ. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, send screening information at least two weeks in advance to Screen, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Email: Fax: 243-1115.

gerous and tourists are all inevitably luckless. This theme, hammered home again and again, proves that at the end of the day, all politics are local. R. JAY HORTON. Cedar Hills, Eastport Plaza, Clackamas. Mill Plain, Living Room Theaters, Oak Grove, Bridgeport, City Center, Division, Evergreen, Hilltop, Movies on TV, Sherwood, Tigard, Wilsonville, Sandy, St. Johns Theater.

We Are Your Friends

D The tale of a young, deadbeat DJ trying to make it in this tough EDM world, We Are Your Friends is essentially a music video from director Max Joseph—we haven’t heard of him, either—that wouldn’t get MTV air time. Cole (an eager Zac Efron) plays the DJ in a fratty quartet of friends rounded out by a promoter, a drug dealer and a token quiet guy. When Cole becomes involved with the girlfriend of his established DJ mentor, We Are Your Friends looks like it’ll be just another self-serving comedy a la Pineapple Express, et al. But those poor, porny jokes—“She better have been an 8 on a bad day”—don’t land hard enough for consistent laughs. The film does have a weepy inspirational message, though: Work hard and work together and things will just work out. Without any insight into the culture of EDM, we’re left with a bad millennial family movie sprinkled with tits and MDMA. R. MITCH LILLIE. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas. Mill Plain, Bridgeport, Division, Evergreen, Hilltop, Movies on TV, Pioneer Place, Sherwood, Tigard.

Z for Zachariah

C+ Loosely based on Robert C. O’Brien’s 1974 novel, Craig Zobel’s Z for Zachariah eschews most of the conventions of the post-apocalyptic subgenre of science fiction and replaces them with themes of possession and loneliness, with uneven results. Ann Burden (Margot Robbie), an aw-shucksy teenager living in a bucolic valley, nurses nuclear wasteland-wandering scientist-engineer John Loomis (Chiwetel Ejiofor) back to health after he bathes in an irradiated stream. Dreamy-eyed Caleb (Chris Pine) shows up, and as the characters argue about whether they should convert the church Ann’s father built, their love triangle takes shape. Although it’s a great post-apocalyptic mumblecore film, Z for Zachariah isn’t sure whether it wants to be a commentary on science versus religion or a jealousy-driven love drama. It doesn’t say enough about either to be particularly interesting. PG-13. WALKER MACMURDO. Cinema 21, Kiggins Theatre.

STILL SHOWING American Ultra

C+ Mike Howell (Jesse Eisenberg) is a perpetually stoned clerk at the CashN-Carry in Lyman, West Virginia. He outkicked his coverage with his girlfriend, Phoebe (Kristen Stewart), and worries that he is holding her back. This all changes one day when a strange woman (Connie Britton) walks up and utters a series of seemingly unintelligible gibberish to him. Howell then unwittingly—and masterfully— kills two people. He’s been activated. And the CIA wants him dead. This is all light and funny in a gory kinda way, but it’s only one of the two movies writer Max Landis tries to fit into this one film. The other is a serious exploration of Howell realizing he has been programmed by the CIA. The result is a wildly inconsistent tone. Is American Ultra an action comedy with somewhat earned pathos? Or, is it the story of a man coming to terms with the fact that everything he thought he knew and loved is a lie, and he also happens to kill a dude by ricocheting a bullet off a frying pan? We can’t quite be sure. R. JOHN LOCANTHI. Bagdad,

Willamette Week AUGUST 26, 2015

CONT. on page 39

1.24 SECONDS OF HEAVEN: Not even a brief glimpse of Chris Messina naked can save this movie.


I’ll say two things for Digging for Fire: One, Jake Johnson is charming as fuck. Also: Chris Messina gets naked. Other than that, Digging for Fire is generic mumblecore garbage. Johnson stars as a teacher named Tim who is married to yoga instructor Lee (Rosemarie DeWitt). They have a 3-year-old son. They’re poorish (in this L.A. world, “poor” means they have a nice car, unlimited Uber rides and lots of leisure time), but they’re house-sitting a mansion. While messing around in the yard, Tim finds a bone and a gun. Then Lee decides Tim needs to spend the weekend alone doing taxes in the mansion, so she takes their son to her mom’s. Famous actors doing poor imitations of real people appear. More bones are dug up. Conversations about adulthood, parenthood, marriage and spirituality are conducted. Leather jackets are worn. On the phone, Johnson (Zooey Deschanel’s bartender love interest on New Girl), who co-wrote the movie with director Joe Swanberg, tells me that the idea for the movie came when he found bones and a gun in his own backyard. “We wanted to tell a story about that, but we wanted to do somewhat of a follow-up to Drinking Buddies—what happens to the type of people like that who now have kids.” What that means is they wanted to write a movie about themselves. Again. But they didn’t want to actually do any writing. In Digging for Fire, Swanberg and Johnson assembled their most famous friends—Anna Kendrick, Judith Light, Sam Rockwell, Orlando Bloom—and told them to create their own characters and improvise all the dialogue. It’s peak mumblecore with some big stars getting in on the action. And it’s completely empty.

Take for example, the only reason you might have to see this movie: a few seconds of Chris Messina full frontal nudity. His character, Johnson says, was supposed to bring some dark energy to the party: “And he said, ‘Well, what if I took my pants off and jumped into the pool?’” Unfortunately, naked Chris Messina isn’t dark at all: He’s just an attractive naked man, a welcome addition to any party. In fact, all the things that are supposed to be dark fail because they feel like aliens imitating human behavior they’ve seen in movies. Lee spends one night out and is rescued from an old dude hitting on her in a bar by Bloom, who then drives her around on a motorcycle and cooks her a perfect steak, like a live-action Harlequin romance fantasy. Tim invites his badass friends Messina and Rockwell over, and they bring coke and hot young girls—a midlife-crisis care package that exists only in fictions where men try to grapple with what it means to be an adult. Tim digs up a yard that does not belong to him and finds meaningful bones. In real life, Lee would get drunk alone, Tim would get drunk alone, and the moment Tim started digging, he’d hit a gas main. Johnson tells me the movie is “very promarriage.” He’s right. Mumblecore has reached the point where it’s pro-straight, white marriage. There’s nothing interesting or new happening, it’s just a bunch of famous people with expensive cameras having a long, boring conversation. Nothing edgier than coke being snorted unconvincingly by dudes from TV, with the biggest conflict being whether or not to send your child to public preschool, even though you can afford private. Find a screenshot of Messina’s dick on the Internet, but don’t watch this movie. Mumblecore is dead. C- SEE IT: Digging for Fire is rated R. It opens Friday at Living Room Theaters.

AUG. 26–SEPT. 1 Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Mill Plain, Oak Grove, Bridgeport, City Center, Division, Evergreen, Fox Tower, Hilltop, Lloyd Center, Movies on TV, Sherwood, Tigard, Wilsonville, Sandy.


A Even if you followed Amy Winehouse’s career, it’s hard to keep from crossing your fingers for a different ending while watching Amy. R. LAUREN TERRY. Cinema 21.


B+ Ant-Man is a largely self-contained, breezy, hilarious and gorgeous heist film that manages a feat few recent superhero films do: It stands up well on its own. . PG-13. ANDY KRYZA. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Bridgeport, Division,


Evergreen, Fox Tower, Movies on TV, Pioneer Place, Tigard.

Best of Enemies

A This doc centers on the debates between Gore Vidal and William F. Buckley during the 1968 Republican and Democratic conventions and plunges viewers into the frothy political climate of protests against militarized police in a decade when people were fighting for freedom of body and opinion. R. LAUREN TERRY. Kiggins Theatre, Fox Tower.

The Diary of a Teenage Girl

A Minnie (Bel Powley) begins

an affair with her mom’s (Kristen Wiig) boyfriend (Alexander Skarsgård), Monroe. She’s 15. But

CONT. on page 40



A LITTLE LOST: Lola Kirke.


Some movies get better the more you think about them. They have (if you’ll excuse my Third time isn’t a charm for most exquisite pun ever) comBaumbach and Gerwig. pound interest. Every time I think about The Prestige, for instance, I like it more. Sometimes I forget David Bowie is in it, and then I remember, again! But other movies are like hot dogs: Sure, they taste good for a minute, but if you dwell on it you realize you just ate a bunch of pig anuses. Greta Gerwig ’s newest collaboration with director Noah Baumbach, Mistress America, isn’t full-on pig anus. That would be much too harsh (though for hot dogs, it’s tough but fair). But the film has depreciated every day since I saw it. It’s a buddy movie about two intolerably self-centered women in New York. One is introverted college student Tracy (Lola Kirke from Gone Girl), who cares exclusively about getting published in a literary magazine and mumbling. The other is social butterfly Brooke (Gerwig from Frances Ha), who seems like Jenna from 30 Rock without the success. She’s the kind of person who you know spends most of her leisure time drinking kombucha at a sidewalk cafe in Brooklyn and telling somebody over the phone that she just got a sign from the universe. Since their parents are getting married, tiny Tracy calls up Brooke to finally meet in person, and the little lit nerd is quite taken with the exciting life her soon-to-be big sis lives. They go on an adventure to raise money for biggy’s bad idea for a restaurant. Unbeknownst to Brooke (because neither of them listen to each other when they talk), little Tracy is secretly using this trip as research for what’s bound to be an unreadable piece of short fiction to impress the kids at her college who carry briefcases to class. It’s hard to get worked up over what is or is not being written in a college lit mag, though every student and a frightening number of adults in the movie act like it’s the biggest deal. At one point, with much overblown to-do, the youngling decides she doesn’t need the mag because she’s going to start her own zine. Like, wow, you’re creating your own zine? What a huge step! Like, OMG, you have two hours and a stapler! While the quasi-intellectual banter is fun, I just can’t get too excited about whether or not two people I do not like are going to fulfill their terrible dreams. That would feel like hoping the pig anuses you’re eating are organic. ALEX FALCONE. B- SEE IT: Mistress America is rated R. It opens Friday at Living Room Theaters



@WillametteWeek Willamette Week AUGUST 26, 2015


AUG. 26–SEPT. 1

this isn’t some Nightline investigation. Minnie wants to have sex, so she does. Minnie wants to do drugs and does (there’s a joint roller listed in the credits). Sometimes bad things happen, but they’re all Minnie’s choice. I guess this is growing up. R. JAMES HELMSWORTH. Cinema 21.

Fantastic Four

D With the exception of largely decent casting and some genuinely compelling flashbacks, it’s a gloomy, vacuous parade of junk science wherein four perfectly serviceable actors spend most of their time staring at computer holograms or strapped to hospital beds. PG-13. CASEY JARMAN. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Oak Grove, Bridgeport, City Center, Division, Evergreen, Hilltop, Lloyd Center, Movies on TV, Wilsonville.

The Gift

C The Gift is that rare mass-marketed psychological thriller that’s less concerned with scares than nuanced interiority. It’s as ominous, thoughtful and ultimately meaningless as any of the elaborate gifts left at the sparkling new home of Simon (Jason Bateman) by a forgotten schoolmate, “Gordo the Weirdo” (writer-director Joel Edgerton). R. JAY HORTON. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Bridgeport, City Center, Division, Evergreen, Fox Tower, Hilltop, Wilsonville.

Hitman: Agent 47

D- According to the extensive voiceover (accompanied by some 3-D rate CGI, which plays a larger role in the film than most characters) that begins the movie (based on the titular video game franchise) the Hitman program was a government experiment to create supersoldiers, superstrong and devoid of human emotions like fear and love. Based on the film, its makers seem like graduates of this program since they don’t understand human emotion—no character gets time to develop or any qualities that would get in the way of slo-mo shots of bullets flying and blood splattering. The bar for wellcrafted drama is already low in movies based on video game franchises, but Htiman makes the Mortal Kombat movie look like My Dinner With Andre. R. JAMES HELMSWORTH. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Mill Plain, Oak Grove, Bridgeport, City Center, Division, Evergreen, Hilltop, Lloyd Center, Movies on TV, Pioneer Place, Sherwood, Tigard, Wilsonville, Sandy.

Inside Out

A It’s sad. Crushingly, relentlessly sad. And absolutely brilliant from writer-director Pete Docter (Up). PG. ALEX FALCONE. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Living Room Theaters, Moreland, Bridgeport, City Center, Lloyd Center, Movies on TV, Tigard.

Magic Mike XXL

C If I base my critique on the room temperature when I left the theater, XXL gets the job done. PG-13. LAUREN TERRY. Laurelhurst, Living Room Theaters, Vancouver.

The Man From U.N.C.L.E.

B+ If you walked out of Mission: Impossible: Rogue Nation and thought, “I can’t wait to see another spy thriller with too much punctuation based on a ’60s TV show,” then fear not. The film feels a lot like writer-director Guy Ritchie’s amazing heist flick Snatch: innovative action sequences, unflappable characters and lots of jazzy flute riffs. PG-13. ALEX FLACONE. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Mill Plain, Oak Grove, Bridgeport, City Center, Division, Evergreen, Hilltop, Lloyd Center, Movies on TV, Pioneer Place, Sherwood, Tigard, Wilsonville, Sandy.

Mission: Impossible: Rogue Nation

A The newest installment in the Tom Cruise-led series is top-of-the-class for its genre. It’s a tight action movie focused on talented people working together for the good (or harm? You have no idea!) of the world. PG-13. ALEX FALCONE. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Mill Plain, Moreland, Oak


Grove, Bridgeport, City Center, Division, Evergreen, Hilltop, Lloyd Center, Movies on TV, Pioneer Place, Tigard, Wilsonville.




A Since its debut at the Toronto

International Film Festival last summer, the nominations keep coming for this concise, moving neo-noir set in postwar Germany about Nelly (Nina Hoss), who has just returned from a concentration camp, her face disfigured beyond recognition. PG-13. LAUREN TERRY. Cinema 21.


C It’s refreshingly colorful for a summer blockbuster, but the all-white cast is dull and unconvincing. A trip to Ground Kontrol would have been cheaper and more satisfying. PG-13. CASEY JARMAN. Eastport, Clackamas, Movies on TV, St. Johns Theater.

Ricki and the Flash

D It sounds all right on paper: the story of rocker mom Ricki Rendazzo (Meryl Streep), who left her kids and ex to focus on her career, One expects another fresh, touching tale from the pen of Diablo Cody. But this film has none of the soul that made Juno so endearing. PG-13. LAUREN TERRY. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Mill Plain, Bridgeport, City Center, Division, Fox Tower, Movies on TV.

Shaun the Sheep Movie

A- In a vibrant return to traditional clay animation, Shaun the Sheep Movie tells a fresh story with the familiar painstaking imagery that makes Aardman Studios the “English Pixar.” Steeped in the tongue-incheek charm of the original Wallace & Gromit, parents will find as much in store for them as their children. PG. LAUREN TERRY. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Oak Grove, Bridgeport, Evergreen, Lloyd Center, Movies on TV.


B- There’s no way to describe Southpaw without making it sound like a list of boxing movie clichés, because that’s exactly what it is. R. MICHAEL NORDINE. Clackamas, Fox Tower, Movies on TV.

Straight Outta Compton

C Telling the greatest story in the history of popular music—full of actual violence and sex and death and betrayal and redemption and brotherhood—wasn’t going to be easy. Especially since it attempts to follow three main story lines, as Dre, Cube and Eazy-E all get major play, with DJ Yella and and MC Ren rightly relegated to bit-player status. And even more especially since it’s co-produced by the star subjects, who all want to manage their own images and follow their own arcs. That doesn’t really work here. As best I know, it’s a fairly faithful telling of the story, but it’s not the movie N.W.A. deserved. R. MARTIN CIZMAR. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Mill Plain, Hollywood, Oak Grove, Bridgeport, City Center, Division, Evergreen, Lloyd Center, Movies on TV, Pioneer Place, St. Johns Cinemas, St. Johns Theater.


C Amy Schumer stars as Amy, a version of herself as a magazine writer instead of a comedy writer. R. ALEX FALCONE. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, CineMagic, Moreland, Bridgeport, City Center, Evergreen, Fox Tower, Lloyd Center.


D+ You can look forward to the same opening tune of Lindsey Buckingham’s “Holiday Road,” but this spin on 1983’s National Lampoon’s Vacation replaces the original’s irreverent, campy charm with puke scenes and punch lines that rely on the comedic value of a child saying “vagina.” R. LAUREN TERRY. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, CineMagic, Moreland, Bridgeport, City Center, Evergreen, Movies on TV.

For more Movies listings, visit

Willamette Week AUGUST 26, 2015


Experimental filmmaker Joe Gibbons has always been an iconoclast, a man whose filmic persona and real personality were often blurred. Even his friends had a hard time telling which parts of his lifelong work-in-progress, Confessions of a Sociopath, featured the real Joe and which depicted a character. “I don’t need a job. I just take what I need,” he says in the film, a lo-fi and enthralling mix of video diaries, scenes of Gibbons’ hostile public interactions, and a philosophizing voice-over that explains his sociopathic tendencies. “I’m just kidding about that,” he adds. Earlier this year, Gibbons gained further notoriety when he proved that maybe he wasn’t kidding. The filmmaker is currently serving a year in a New York prison. His crime: bank robbery. His weapon: a silver and pink hand-held camera, which he pointed at a teller as he handed over a note reading: “THIS IS A ROBBERY. LARGE BILLS. NO DYE PACKS / NO GPS.” There was a dye pack, and the bills were small. The 61-year-old was apprehended shortly thereafter. Once again, Gibbons—a former lecturer at MIT— was dividing public opinion among filmgoers. To some, the act represented a shocking turn of events, especially when it was revealed that the awardwinning director was homeless and desperate at the time of the robbery. Others came immediately to his defense, presuming the act was part of a larger piece of performance art. It had to be. Regardless, Gibbons is in prison, and life on the other side of steel bars isn’t looking particularly inviting. Which is why Portland filmmaker Vanessa Renwick of the Oregon Department of Kick Ass is screening Gibbons’ films at the Hollywood Theatre (7 pm Sunday, Aug. 30; $8). True to the filmmaking spirit, Renwick says the screening isn’t a fundraising event, but rather a regular old screening where the artist gets a cut. Only the artist won’t see his cut until he’s released from prison. “I think he’s a really good artist and a good friend, and a big part of our film community,” says Renwick, who has corresponded with Gibbons in prison. “I found out he was homeless and down and


out. I can’t imagine going into jail homeless and coming out homeless. How are you going to claw yourself up to some better level of living?” Renwick’s screening is one of many events across the country, in addition to an Indiegogo campaign, to help fund Gibbons’ re-entry to the world. As to whether Gibbons’ crime was truly, as he and others claim, part of his art, Renwick seems to think it could be a bit of both. “Confessions of a Sociopath he’s been making since college, or maybe before. He’s constantly been building on this film,” she says. “I have no idea whether Joe robbed this bank out of desperation, or had an idea of whether it would be part of his film. It seems like it will be a lifelong film that he makes.” Does Gibbons deserve to be in prison? Yes. He broke the law. And no matter how harmless a pink camera seems, even the implied threat of violence could’ve been traumatizing. But he is a legend in his community and beloved by his peers. Hell, if we can forgive Roman Polanski and award him an Oscar, Joe Gibbons deserves an audience and a fresh start, too. SEE IT: Confessions of a Sociopath is at the Hollywood Theatre. 7 pm Sunday, Aug. 30. $8.


Before there was Turkish Rambo, there was Ishmail Yassin Meets Frankenstein, an Egyptian remake of Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein. Weird Wednesday, you’ve found your muse. Joy Cinema. 9:30 pm Wednesday, Aug. 26. As we eagerly await the belated completion of David Lynch’s new season of Twin Peaks, now’s the perfect time to revisit the show’s mesmerizing, masterful, terrifying and surreal sister feature, Blue Velvet, in which Dennis Hopper expresses a love for PBR to rival all Portland’s. Laurelhurst Theater. Aug. 28-Sept. 3. Nowadays, Tom Cruise dangles from planes to show he has balls. Back in his Risky Business days, he just let ’em flop around in tighty whities. Academy Theater. Aug. 28-Sept. 3. The Hollywood celebrates what would have been Ingrid Bergman’s 100th birthday with a screening of her most memorable—and daring—film: the 1946 Alfred Hitchcock classic, Notorious. Hollywood Theatre. 2 pm Saturday-Sunday, Aug. 29-30.

Willamette Week AUGUST 26, 2015


AUG. 28–SEPT. 3 WA R N E R B R O S . E N T.



STAY CONNECTED OLD-TIME ROCK ’N’ ROLL: Risky Business plays at the Academy Theater on Aug. 28-Sept 3.

Regal Movies on TV Stadium 16





2 UG



2735 E BurnsidE st • (503-232-5511) •

Avengers: Age Of Ultron XD-3D (PG-13) 12:00PM 3:30PM 7:00PM 10:20PM Shaun the Sheep Movie (PG) 12:05PM 2:35PM 5:00PM Sinister 2 (R) 11:50AM 2:25PM 5:05PM 7:45PM 10:20PM Southpaw (R) 9:35PM We Are Your Friends (R) 12:15PM 2:45PM 5:15PM 7:45PM 10:15PM Pixels (PG-13) 11:10AM 1:45PM 4:30PM 7:15PM Ricki and the Flash (PG-13) 11:05AM 1:40PM 4:15PM 7:00PM 9:40PM Trainwreck (R) 11:00AM 1:50PM 4:40PM 7:35PM 10:30PM Vacation (R) 7:25PM 9:55PM War Room (PG) 11:00AM 1:50PM 4:40PM 7:30PM 10:25PM Straight Outta Compton (R) 12:10PM 2:40PM 3:35PM 7:00PM 8:45PM 10:15PM The Man from U.N.C.L.E. (PG-13) 11:00AM ® 1:50PM ® 4:45PM ® 7:35PM ® 10:25PM ®

The Man from U.N.C.L.E. (PG-13) 11:00AM 1:50PM 4:45PM 7:35PM 10:25PM Fantastic Four (2015) (PG-13) 11:30AM 2:10PM 5:00PM 7:40PM 10:20PM Gift, The (2015) (R) 11:10AM 1:55PM 4:35PM 7:20PM 10:05PM No Escape (R) 11:45AM 2:30PM 5:10PM 7:50PM 10:30PM American Ultra (R) 11:40AM 2:15PM 4:55PM 7:30PM 10:05PM Ant-Man (PG-13) 11:10AM 2:00PM 4:50PM 7:40PM 10:30PM Minions (PG) 11:25AM 2:00PM 4:30PM 7:05PM Mission: Impossible - Rogue Nation (PG-13) 12:45PM ® 4:00PM ® 7:10PM ® 10:15PM ® Mission: Impossible - Rogue Nation (PG-13) 12:45PM 4:00PM 7:10PM 10:15PM Hitman: Agent 47 (R) 11:20AM 12:10PM 2:05PM 4:50PM 6:10PM 7:25PM 10:10PM Inside Out (PG) 11:15AM 1:55PM 4:35PM 7:15PM 9:50PM Jurassic World (PG-13) 10:00PM

Ricki and the Flash (PG-13) 4:30PM 7:20PM 10:00PM Shaun the Sheep Movie (PG) 11:45AM 2:00PM We Are Your Friends (R) 11:45AM 2:15PM 4:45PM 7:15PM 9:45PM No Escape (R) 12:00PM 2:35PM 5:10PM 7:45PM 10:20PM The Man from U.N.C.L.E. (PG-13) 11:30AM 2:15PM 5:00PM 7:45PM 10:30PM Trainwreck (R) 1:00PM 4:00PM 7:00PM 10:00PM Sinister 2 (R) 12:00PM 2:30PM 5:00PM 7:30PM 10:00PM Straight Outta Compton (R) 12:15PM 3:35PM 7:00PM 10:15PM Mission: Impossible - Rogue Nation (PG-13) 11:30AM 1:00PM 2:30PM 4:00PM 5:30PM 7:00PM 8:30PM 10:00PM

Ant-Man (PG-13) 11:30AM 2:15PM 5:00PM 7:45PM

Ricki and the Flash (PG-13) 9:30PM Shaun the Sheep Movie (PG) 11:10AM 1:45PM 4:15PM 6:45PM We Are Your Friends (R) 11:45AM 2:30PM 5:10PM 7:50PM 10:30PM Pixels (PG-13) 11:20AM 2:05PM 4:50PM 7:30PM 10:10PM The Man from U.N.C.L.E. (PG-13) 1:00PM 4:10PM 7:20PM 10:25PM Trainwreck (R) 9:50PM Sinister 2 (R) 12:00PM 2:40PM 5:15PM 7:45PM 10:30PM Straight Outta Compton (R) 11:30AM 3:00PM 6:30PM 10:00PM Mission: Impossible - Rogue Nation (PG-13) 11:00AM 12:30PM 2:10PM 3:40PM 5:30PM 7:00PM 8:45PM 10:10PM

Ant-Man (PG-13) 11:00AM 1:55PM 4:45PM 7:35PM 10:25PM Fantastic Four (2015) (PG-13) 11:35AM 2:15PM 5:05PM 7:45PM 10:20PM No Escape (R) 11:15AM 2:00PM 4:40PM 7:25PM 10:05PM American Ultra (R) 11:40AM 2:20PM 5:00PM 7:30PM 10:15PM Inside Out (PG) 11:05AM 1:40PM 4:25PM 7:10PM 9:55PM Minions (PG) 11:10AM 1:50PM 4:20PM 7:05PM Gift, The (2015) (R) 11:25AM 2:10PM 4:55PM 7:40PM 10:20PM Hitman: Agent 47 (R) 11:30AM 2:00PM 4:45PM 7:15PM 10:00PM

10:30PM Fantastic Four (2015) (PG-13) 11:30AM 4:50PM 10:15PM Mr. Holmes (PG) 2:10PM 7:25PM American Ultra (R) 12:30PM 3:00PM 5:30PM 8:00PM 10:30PM Inside Out (PG) 11:30AM 2:00PM 4:30PM 7:00PM 9:40PM Minions (PG) 11:30AM 2:00PM 4:30PM 7:00PM 9:25PM Gift, The (2015) (R) 11:45AM 2:25PM 5:05PM 7:45PM 10:25PM Hitman: Agent 47 (R) 11:40AM 2:10PM 4:40PM 7:10PM 9:40PM


Willamette Week AUGUST 26, 2015

2929 SW 234th Ave. WAR ROOM Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 12:30, 04:00, 07:00, 09:55 WE ARE YOUR FRIENDS Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 11:45, 02:10, 04:40, 07:40, 10:15 NO ESCAPE Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 12:45, 04:15, 07:35, 10:10 AMERICAN ULTRA Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:10, 02:40, 05:10, 07:55, 10:25 HITMAN: AGENT 47 Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:00, 02:30, 05:00, 08:00, 10:30 SINISTER 2 Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:05, 02:35, 05:05, 07:50, 10:20 THE MAN FROM U.N.C.L.E. Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:25, 03:55, 06:45, 09:45 STRAIGHT OUTTA COMPTON Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:15, 03:40, 06:55, 10:10 RICKI AND THE FLASH FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:45, 04:45, 09:50 FANTASTIC FOUR Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-TueWed 11:50, 02:25, 04:50, 07:30, 10:00 SHAUN THE SHEEP MOVIE Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 11:50, 02:05, 04:20, 07:15 MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE ROGUE NATION Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 12:20, 03:45, 06:50, 09:50 VACATION Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 02:15, 07:20 PIXELS FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:50, 07:25 PIXELS 3D Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 04:10, 10:00 SOUTHPAW Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 09:35 ANT-MAN Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 07:05, 10:05 MINIONS Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 11:55, 02:20, 04:35, 07:10, 09:30 INSIDE OUT Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-TueWed 12:40, 04:15 JURASSIC WORLD Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 12:35, 03:50, 06:40, 09:40 UN GALLO CON MUCHOS HUEVOS THE TRANSPORTER REFUELED

Bagdad Theater

3702 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 503-249-7474 AMERICAN ULTRA Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 01:30, 04:00, 07:00

Cinema 21

616 NW 21st Ave., 503-223-4515 THE DIARY OF A TEENAGE GIRL Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 01:45, 04:15, 09:15 AMY Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 04:00, 08:45 PHOENIX Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 01:30, 04:00, 06:45, 09:00 Z FOR ZACHARIAH Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 02:00, 06:45

Clinton Street Theater


Laurelhurst Theatre & Pub

2735 E Burnside St., 503-232-5511 THE WOLFPACK Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 07:15 BLUE VELVET Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 09:30 LOVE & MERCY Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 06:30 TANGERINE Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 09:00 SPY Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 07:00 MAD MAX: FURY ROAD Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 09:15 INFINITELY POLAR BEAR Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 06:45 WHAT WE DO IN THE SHADOWS Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 08:45

02:10, 04:20, 06:30, 08:50 LISTEN TO ME MARLON Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon 12:00, 02:15, 04:30, 06:40, 09:00 RICKI AND THE FLASH FriSat-Sun-Mon 12:50, 03:50, 06:30, 09:00 THE END OF THE TOUR Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon 12:40, 03:30, 06:45, 09:30 THE GIFT Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon 01:10, 04:00, 07:20, 09:50 ANT-MAN Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon 01:00, 06:50 IRRATIONAL MAN Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon 03:45, 09:30 TRAINWRECK Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon 12:30, 03:40, 07:10, 10:00 JURASSIC WORLD FriSat-Sun-Mon 12:20, 03:20, 06:15, 09:15

NW Film Center’s Whitsell Auditorium


St. Johns Theater

CineMagic Theatre

8203 N Ivanhoe St., 503-249-7474-6 NO ESCAPE Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 05:15, 07:30, 09:45 STRAIGHT OUTTA COMPTON Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 03:45, 07:00, 10:10

Kiggins Theatre

Regal Cinemas Bridgeport Village Stadium 18 & IMAX

2021 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 503-231-7919 TRAINWRECK Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 04:30, 07:00, 09:30 1011 Main St., 360-816-0352 Z FOR ZACHARIAH FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue 06:30 BEST OF ENEMIES Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue 08:30 MR. HOLMES Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue 04:15 CASTLES IN THE SKY Sat 10:00 DIRTY DANCING Tue 10:30

Hollywood Theatre

4122 NE Sandy Blvd., 503-281-4215 STRAIGHT OUTTA COMPTON Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 06:45, 09:45 TURBO KID Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 09:30 THE END OF THE TOUR Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-TueWed 07:15 NOTORIOUS Sat 02:00 HEAVY BREATHER: EROTICISM Sun 09:30 TRUE ROMANCE Mon 07:00 THE MOVIE QUIZ Mon 09:30 TIMECOP Tue 07:30 THE BEST OF 48 HOUR FILM PROJECT Wed 07:00

Regal Fox Tower Stadium 10

846 SW Park Ave. AMERICAN ULTRA FriSat-Sun-Mon 12:15, 02:40, 05:00, 07:15, 09:40 KAHLIL GIBRAN’S THE PROPHET Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon 12:10, 02:30, 04:45, 07:00, 09:20 BEST OF ENEMIES Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon 12:00,

7329 SW Bridgeport Road WAR ROOM Fri-Sat-Sun 11:00, 01:15, 04:10, 07:05, 09:30

Cinetopia Mill Plain 8

11700 SE 7th St., 877-608-2800 WE ARE YOUR FRIENDS Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:10, 02:40, 05:15, 07:50, 10:30 AMERICAN ULTRA Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 01:45, 04:30, 07:20, 10:00 THE MAN FROM U.N.C.L.E. Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-TueWed 12:30, 03:30, 06:40, 09:30 HITMAN: AGENT 47 Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 01:15, 04:00, 07:30, 10:10 SINISTER 2 Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 01:00, 03:50, 07:00, 09:50 NO ESCAPE Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 01:30, 04:20, 07:10, 10:15 STRAIGHT OUTTA COMPTON Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:00, 03:15, 06:30, 09:45 MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE ROGUE NATION Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:30, 03:45, 07:40, 10:45 THE TRANSPORTER REFUELED

Valley Theater

9360 SW Beaverton-Hillsdale Highway, 503-296-6843 TOMORROWLAND Fri-

Sat-Sun 01:20, 04:00 SPY Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-TueWed 06:40, 09:10 HOME Fri-Sat-Sun 02:15, 04:15 TERMINATOR GENISYS Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 06:20 SAN ANDREAS Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 08:45 MAD MAX: FURY ROAD Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-TueWed 07:00, 09:30

Century Clackamas Town Center and XD

12000 SE 82nd Ave. JURASSIC WORLD FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue 10:00 AVENGERS: AGE OF ULTRON 3D Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue 12:00, 03:30, 07:00, 10:20 INSIDE OUT Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 11:15, 01:55, 04:35, 07:15, 09:50 MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE ROGUE NATION Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue 12:45, 04:00, 07:10, 10:15 MINIONS FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue 11:20, 01:45, 04:10 ANT-MAN Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 11:10, 02:00, 04:50, 07:40, 10:30 TRAINWRECK FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue 11:00, 01:50, 04:40, 07:35, 10:30 PIXELS Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 11:10, 01:45, 04:30, 07:15 SOUTHPAW Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue 10:10 WAR ROOM Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 11:00, 01:50, 04:40, 07:30, 10:25 THE GIFT Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue 11:10, 01:55, 04:35, 07:20, 10:05 VACATION Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 07:25, 09:55 FANTASTIC FOUR Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 11:30, 02:10, 05:00, 07:40, 10:20 RICKI AND THE FLASH Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 11:05, 01:40, 04:15, 07:00, 09:40 SHAUN THE SHEEP MOVIE Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue 12:05, 02:35, 05:00 THE MAN FROM U.N.C.L.E. Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 11:00, 01:50, 04:45, 07:35, 10:25 STRAIGHT OUTTA COMPTON Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 12:10, 02:40, 03:35, 07:00, 08:45, 10:15 HITMAN: AGENT 47 Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 11:20, 12:10, 02:05, 04:50, 06:10, 07:25, 10:10 SINISTER 2 Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 11:50, 02:25, 05:05, 07:45, 10:20 AMERICAN ULTRA Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue 11:40, 02:15, 04:55, 07:30, 10:05 WE ARE YOUR FRIENDS FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue 12:15, 02:45, 05:15, 07:45, 10:15 NO ESCAPE Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue 11:45, 02:30, 05:10, 07:50, 10:30 AIRPLANE! Sun-Wed 02:00, 07:00 ARTISTS DEN PRESENTS ALT-J Wed 07:30 SUBJECT TO CHANGE. CALL THEATERS OR VISIT WWEEK.COM/MOVIETIMES FOR THE MOST UP-TO-DATE INFORMATION FRIDAY-THURSDAY, AUG. 28-SEPT. 3, UNLESS OTHERWISE INDICATED



Unlike most of the cannabis conferences Portland has hosted in recent months, this weekend’s CannaGrow Expo isn’t as much of a business-focused seminar as it is an opportunity for master growers to hobnob and tell stories about growing bud in an era when they were still gripped by fear every time they heard a knock on the door. The OG class is still around—men and women who learned their trade in basements, without help from cannabis-focused lawyers or easily accessible advice online. Here’s who to look for, both icons and exceptional new cultivators. LAUREN TERRY. WOLF SEGAL “Fish-Grown Cannabis: Cultivation Using Aquaponics” Room B: 11:30 am-12:20 pm Friday, Aug. 28

As one of the founders of the spacesaving Sea of Green growing method, Wolf Segal has a wealth of knowledge about innovations in cannabis farming in the past 20 years. A friend of Jack Herer and contemporary of the famous Neville of the Dutch Seed Bank, Segal will talk about aquaponics and his upcoming, second book on cultivating marijuana. ZACARIAH HILDENBRAND “Medicine of the Future: Growing Cannabis for the Treatment of Specific Ailments” Room B: 1:30-2:20 pm Friday, Aug. 28

Hildenbrand is the head scientist at C4 Laboratories, which is focused on research to enable more effective treatments. He argues against the “indica vs. sativa” dichotomy that limits our medical understanding of cannabis. “In reality there are countless factors that go into each individual strain’s effect on the human system,” he says. “We’re doing [this] research because we don’t want the medical consumer to find a successful treatment solution every once in a while, we want them to find that solution the first time. Every time.” AUTUMN KARCEY “Commercial Facility Optimization for Pharmaceutical-Grade Cannabis” Room B: 10:30-11:20 am, Saturday, Aug. 29

After growing top-shelf bud in the Los Angeles area for more than a decade, Karcey saw a need for strategically designed grow operations that ensure a healthy, stable grow without pesticides or chemicals. Karcey’s largest design was a 315,000-square-foot facility in Nova Scotia that cost more than $34 million. She recently developed Cultivo, an engineering and design firm

in Northern California specializing in large-scale cannabis-growing facilities. She’s also partnered with author Ed Rosenthal (the horticulturist who introduced Durban Poison to the U.S.) as a consultant to develop cultivation methodologies. CLARK TIPPIN “Growing Organically: Sustainable Practices and High Yields” Room B: 11:30 am-12:20 pm Saturday, Aug. 29

If you recognize Tippin’s name, it could be from the pages of The Oregonian, in which he recently described battling mites with essential oils and citric acid instead of chemical pesticides. His standards for organic practices are reflected in every aspect of his life, including his company, which converts cars to run on vegetable oil. He developed the Organic Cannabis Growers Society, which offers certification of organic growing facilities and methods, because the U.S. Department of Agriculture cannot declare marijuana organic without legalization at the federal level. KYLE KUSHMAN “Advanced Cultivation Techniques and Veganics” Room A: 4-5 pm Saturday, Aug. 29

Kushman’s creations have won him 13 awards at the Cannabis Cup and a stint as the staff dealer for High Times. His mission is to provide the cleanest, purest product possible, and his latest endeavor is developing nutrients for an uber-organic method of growing called “veganics,” in which everything used is certified organic and contains nothing but plant-derived ingredients. GO: The CannaGrow Expo is at the Red Lion Jantzen Beach, 909 N Hayden Island Drive, on Friday and Saturday, Aug. 28-29. For a full schedule, see Two-day expo-only pass $49, 2-day expo and sessions pass $249. Use the code “FOREVERGREEN” to save 20 percent on registration.


Cannabis news, culture & reviews from Portland. Willamette Week AUGUST 26, 2015














503-445-2757 •










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AUGUST 26, 2015

Willamette Week Classifieds AUGUST 26, 2015

ALL AREAS - ROOMMATES.COM. Browse hundreds of online listings with photos and maps. Find your roommate with a click of the mouse! Visit:

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503-445-2757 • © 2015 Rob Brezsny

Week of August 27

ARIES (March 21-April 19): You like to run ahead of the pack. You prefer to show people the way, to set the pace. It’s cleaner that way, right? There’s less risk you will be caught up in the messy details of everyday compromise. But I suspect that the time is right for you to try an experiment: Temporarily ease yourself into the middle of the pack. Be willing to deal with the messy details of everyday compromise. Why? Because it will teach you lessons that will serve you well the next time you’re showing the way and setting the pace. TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Are you ready to revise your ideas about how love works? Would you consider re-evaluating your relationship to romance, your approach to intimacy, and your understanding of sex? I hope you will not only be willing but also excited to do these things. Now is a favorable time to make changes that will energize your love life with a steady flow of magic for months to come. To get the party started, brainstorm about experiments you could try to invigorate the dynamics of togetherness. Make a list of your customary romantic strategies, and rebel against them all. Speak sexy truths that are both shocking and endearing. GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Querencia is a Spanish word with many nuances. At its simplest, it refers to your favorite spot, a place where you long to be. But its meaning can go even deeper. Querencia may be a sanctuary where you feel safe and authentic, or a situation that enables you to draw on extra reserves of strength and courage. It’s a special kind of home: an empowering shelter that makes you feel that you belong in this world and love your life. Can you guess where I’m going with this message, Gemini? These days you need to be in your querencia even more than usual. If you don’t have one, or if you don’t know where yours is, formulate a fierce intention to locate it. CANCER (June 21-July 22): The art of effective communication consists of knowing both what to say and what not to say. It’s not enough to simply find the words that accurately convey your meaning. You have to tailor your message to the quirks of your listeners. For example, let’s say you want to articulate the process that led you to change your mind about an important issue. You would use different language with a child, an authority figure, and a friend. Right? I think you are currently at the peak of your abilities to do this well, Cancerian. Take full advantage of your fluency. Create clear, vivid impressions that influence people to like you and help you. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Arthur Conan Doyle first used the term “smoking gun” in a story he wrote over a century ago. It referred to a time the fictional detective Sherlock Holmes burst into a room to find a man holding a pistol that had just been fired, along with the fallen body of a man who had been shot. Since then, the meaning of “smoking gun” has expanded. Now it’s any piece of evidence that serves as compelling proof of a certain hypothesis. If you can’t find the cookie you left in the kitchen, and your roommate walks by with cookie crumbs on his chin, it’s the smoking gun that confirms he pilfered your treat. I believe this is an important theme for you right now. What question do you need answered? What theory would you like to have corroborated? The smoking gun will appear. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): At least for now, I suggest you suspend the quest for order and refinement and perfection. The wise course of action is to disengage from your fascination with control, and instead give yourself to the throbbing, erratic pulse of the Cosmic Wow. Why? If you do, you will be able to evolve faster than you thought possible. Your strength will come from agile curiosity and an eagerness to experiment. Do you remember when you last explored the catalytic wonders of spontaneity and unpredictability? Do it again! LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): This is the deepest, darkest phase of your cycle. The star that you will ultimately make a wish upon has not yet risen. Your pet monsters seem to have forgotten for the moment that they are supposed to be your allies, not your nemeses. Smoke from the smoldering embers in your repressed memories is blending with the chill night fog in your dreams,

making your life seem like a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside a taco. Just kidding about that last part. I wanted to see if your sense of humor is intact, because if it is, you will respond resiliently to all the cosmic jokes in your upcoming tests. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): According to the poet Rainer Maria Rilke, here’s what God says to each of us: “Go the limits of your longing . . . Flare up like flame and make big shadows that I can move in. Let everything happen to you: beauty and terror. Just keep going. No feeling is final.” Whether or not you’re on speaking terms with the Creator, this is excellent advice. It’s time to give everything you have and take everything you need. Hold nothing back and open yourself as wide and wild as you dare. Explore the feeling of having nothing to lose and expect the arrivals of useful surprises. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): The sun and the expansive planet Jupiter are currently making a joyful noise in the sign of Virgo, which is your astrological House of Career and Ambition. This does not necessarily mean that a boon to your career and ambition will fall into your lap, although such an event is more likely than usual. More importantly, this omen suggests that you will influence luck, fate, and your subconscious mind to work in your favor if you take dramatic practical action to advance your career and ambitions. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): On August 28, 1963, Capricorn hero Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. delivered his “I Have a Dream” speech to a crowd of thousands in Washington, D.C. In that address, he imagined what it might look like if African Americans were free of the bigotry and oppression they had endured for centuries at the hands of white Americans. In accordance with your astrological potentials, I encourage you to articulate your own “I Have a Dream” vision sometime soon. Picture in detail the successful stories you want to actualize in the future. Visualize the liberations you will achieve and the powers you will obtain. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): If you have been patiently waiting for a propitious moment to buy a new yacht, pledge your undying love, or get a tattoo that depicts Buddha wrestling Satan, now is as close as you’ll get to that propitious moment, at least for a while. Even if you have merely been considering the possibility of signing a year-long lease, asking a cute mischiefmaker on a date, or posting an extra-edgy meme on Facebook or Twitter, the next three weeks would be prime time to strike. Diving into a deep, heart-crazed commitment is sometimes a jangly process for you Aquarians, but these days it might be almost smooth and synchronistic. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Ready for a ritual? Get a piece of paper and a pen. Light a candle, take three deep breaths, and chant “YUMMMM” five times. Then spend ten minutes writing down the qualities you would like your perfect lover to possess. Identify both the traits that would make this person unique and the behavior he or she would display toward you. Got that? When you are finished, burn the list you made. Disavow everything you wrote. Pledge to live for at least seven months without harboring fixed beliefs about what your ideal partner should be like. Instead, make yourself extra receptive to the possibility that you will learn new truths about what you need. Why? I suspect that love has elaborate plans for you in the next two years. You will be better prepared to cooperate with them if you are initially free of strong agendas.

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Homework What new title, degree, award, or perk will you have two years from today that you don’t have now? Testify at

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check out Rob Brezsny’s Expanded Weekly Audio Horoscopes & Daily Text Message Horoscopes


The audio horoscopes are also available by phone at


1-877-873-4888 or 1-900-950-7700

Willamette Week Classifieds AUGUST 26, 2015




503-445-2757 •


Strike a LiveMatch!


by Matt Jones

“O for Two”–singles only, please. 68 Succulent plant 69 Bawl out 70 Brockovich of lawsuit fame 71 Grateful Dead bassist Phil 72 Pang of pain 73 Pineapple packager

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Across 1 Place for a nap 5 Part of a sequence? 10 Georgetown athlete 14 Jai ___ 15 Specialty 16 Nursing school subj. 17 Comment about all-soloist concerts? 20 Critter with a pouch 21 “___ Like It” 22 “Fuel” performer DiFranco

23 Audiophile’s collection, perhaps 25 Slanted printing style 27 Haulers that repel everyone? 33 Wrinkly dog 34 Half a new wave group? 35 “Rashomon” director Kurosawa 39 Like fine wine 41 Member of the peerage 43 Flying solo 44 Shaun, for one 46 Eugene of travel

guides 48 8 1/2” x 11” size, for short 49 Say “I guess we’ll take DiCaprio”? 52 Disappear into thin air 55 “Sweet” Roman numeral? 56 Yes, at the altar 57 Hit the weights, maybe 61 “At the Movies” cohost 65 “O.K., pontoon, I hear ya loud and clear”?

Down 1 Pocketed, as a pool ball 2 Butter substitute 3 Bean mentioned in “The Silence of the Lambs” 4 “Do the Right Thing” Oscar nominee Danny 5 Hereditary helix 6 “Club Can’t Handle Me” rapper Flo ___ 7 Old French coins 8 “Hey sailor!” 9 Biographical bit 10 Hawaiian pizza ingredient 11 Shaq’s surname 12 “Live at the Acropolis” New Ager 13 Overhead storage 18 Breakneck 19 “Straight ___ Compton” 24 Brush-off 26 Wants to know 27 Hot springs 28 Julia’s “Notting Hill” costar 29 S-shaped molding 30 Botanical transplant

31 Marcia’s mom 32 Battery’s negative terminal 36 “___ be sweet!” 37 Flat fee 38 Farming prefix 40 ‘50s sitcom name 42 L.A. hardcore punk band with the 1994 album “Punk in Drublic” 45 Green sauce 47 Moved about 50 Pushing force 51 Like corduroy and, um... (hey, get your mind out of the gutter!) 52 Crucial 53 “Chasing Pavements” singer 54 Cautionary list 58 Aqueduct feature 59 “Frankenstein” helper 60 ___ contendere (court plea) 62 100 cents, in Cyprus 63 Agitate 64 Actress Daly 66 Disgusted utterance 67 Dedicatory verse last week’s answers

©2015 Jonesin’ Crosswords ( For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle #JONZ742.


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Willamette Week Classifieds AUGUST 26, 2015

Open to 2:30 am 365 days a year Over 30 great dancers and a friendly all-female staff 129 SW Broadway


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503-445-2757 •


Portland’s Best Kept Secret 13707 SE Fernridge Ave. Milwaukie, 97222







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Oak Lodge area of Milwaukie - most affordable prices & lowest taxes in the Metro Area. 20 minutes to Downtown, close to new Max Line, I-205, Clackamas Mall & Willamette River.


TreeHouse is a brand new apartment concept that merges modern design and architecture within a natural, wooded setting. TreeHouse is just steps from OHSU and minutes from the South Waterfront and downtown Portland.

$495,000 4143 Sq Ft. • 4+ bedrooms • 3.5 baths • Bonus Rooms • 1/2 Acre • Beautifully landscaped parklike setting - a gardener’s delight • Remodeled kitchen w/ slab granite & custom maple cabinets • No-step entry into daylight bsmt - potential seperate living area. • 2nd detached garage with 400 sq. ft. studio above.



Terry Reede Reede Reality 503-407-2100


HIGHLIGHTS + Studio, One, and Two bedroom floorplans + Stylish GE Artistry™ appliances + Quartz countertops and modern cabinetry + Fiber optic “Instant Internet” + Rooftop deck with fireplace and outdoor living room + Café on the ground floor (tbd) + Bike storage and tuning station + Onsite car sharing vehicle LEASING DETAILS AT | 503.278.5508 3440 US Veterans Hospital Road Portland, OR 97239


Willamette Week Classifieds AUGUST 26, 2015





Want a Debt Free Tomorrow? Call Today: 503-808-9032 FREE Consultation. Payment Plans. Scott Hutchinson, Attorney


Atomic Auto 2510 NE Sandy Blvd. (503) 969-3134

$$$ CASH FOR DIABETIC TEST STRIPS $$$ Paying up to $30/box. Help those who can’t afford insurance. Free pickup in SW WA and Portland Metro. Call 360-693-0185 ext 500



Guitar Lessons

Personalized instruction for over 15yrs. 503-546-3137



I am an experienced, compassionate attorney who can help you find the right solution for you. Stop garnishments, stop foreclosure, deal with tax liabilities and rid yourself of debt. Let me help you find your path to financial freedom. Call Christopher Kane at 503-380-7822. or

BUY LOCAL, BUY AMERICAN, BUY MARY JANES Glass Pipes, Vaporizers, Incense & Candles 5425 NE 33rd Ave. Portland, OR 97211 (971) 279-5050

Comedy Classes

Improv, Standup, Sketch writing. Now enrolling The Brody Theater, 503-224-2227

Muay Thai

Self defense & outstanding conditioning. or 503-740-2666

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Cultivate health and energy or 503-740-2666

WHERE SINGLES MEET Browse & Reply FREE! 503-299-9911 Use FREE Code 2557, 18+

Hippie Goddess

Females 18+. Natural/Hairy, Fit Bodies. Creative outdoor shoots for $400-$600. 503-449-5341 Emma


We Buy, Sell & Trade New and Used Hydroponic Equipment. 503-747-3624

Top 1% Portland Agent

Stephen FitzMaurice, Realtor Home Selling Specialist 12+ Years Experience 4.5% Max Commission Stellar service and marketing. Broker in OR at Premiere Property Group. 3636 NE Broadway St. 503-975-6853.

Marijuana Store & More *971-255-1456* 1310 SE 7TH AVE

4911 NE Sandy Blvd. ï Portland, OR 97213 ï 503-384-WEED (9333)

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9966 SW Arctic Drive, Beaverton 9220 SE Stark Street, Portland American Agriculture • PDX 503-256-2400 BVT 503-641-3500

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Exhibitor Space Available Join the Portland Green Festival Expo Marketplace while being part of the largest green living event in the U.S! Visit:

Nonprofit Attorneys

Sliding-Scale Payment Plans - Fee Reductions NEW Low-cost Bankruptcy Program (503) 208-4079


Vaporizers, hookahs, glass pipes, tobacco, gift items 3554 NE SANDY BLVD. 503-235-0504


Quick fix synthetic urine now available. Your hookah headquarters. Vapes. E-cigs, glass pipes, discount tobacco, detox products, salvia and kratom Still Smokin’ Glass and Tobacco 12302 SE Powell 503-762-4219

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Portland Sex Therapy Group

Get help from an experienced DUII trial lawyer Free Consult./ Vigorous Defense/ Affordable Fees David D. Ghazi, Attorney at Law 620 SW Main St, Ste. 702 (503)-224-DUII (3844)



Every Sunday, starts Sept. 13 503-405-4321 SERVICES OFFERED • Pap smears and annual exams • Sexually Transmitted Infection testing • Contraception including IUD insertions • Irregular bleeding • Menopause Management • Herbal Consultations both western and traditional Mayan herbs • Nutritional counseling Referrals and coordination of care as needed


MEDICAL MARIJUANA Card Services Clinic

New Downtown Location! 1501 SW Broadway

4119 SE Hawthorne, Portland ph: 503-235-PIPE (7473)

503 235 1035

503-384-WEED (9333) 4911 NE Sandy Blvd, Portland Mon-Sat 9-6

Pizza Delivery

Until 4AM!

41 43 willamette week, august 26, 2015  
41 43 willamette week, august 26, 2015