HEADOUT
GO: Portland’s World Naked Bike Ride is Saturday, June 27. Riders gather at Colonel Summers Park, Southeast 17th Avenue and Taylor Street, at 8 pm; ride starts at 9 pm. Free (donations requested). See pdxwnbr.org for more details. WILLAMETTE WEEK
WHAT TO DO THIS WEEK IN ARTS & CULTURE
WORLD NAKED BIKE RIDE STORIES FROM AROUND THE WORLD.
P H OTO S C O U R T E S Y J O N AT H A N M A U S B I K E P O R TA L N D . O R G
WEDNESDAY JUNE 24
Portland likes to think it’s especially weird for hosting a naked bike ride. Such rides, which began in either Canada or Spain, depending on whom you believe, have become popular everywhere from Brazil to New Hampshire—and yes, the Brazilian ride is much better for observers. With Portland’s own pasty-ass ride clogging traffic this weekend, let’s look at happenings from World Naked Bike Rides around the world. MARTIN CIZMAR.
UNITED KINGDOM
Riders must be quite careful to avoid arousal while riding in Jolly Olde England. World Naked Bike Ride officials in Canterbury told a man with an erection to put his pantaloons on. “We do not accept this behaviour,” said the organizer. There was, predictably, a backlash, but as of now the Brits maintain a total boner ban in their rides. Also, riders should be of age—a recent naked ride in Brighton became controversial when an 8-year-old girl rode nude, scandalizing locals.
WASHINGTON STATE
In the college town of Bellingham, organizers make every possible effort to make the gathering of naked people a “safe space.” “We set up really good parameters and appropriate interaction with one another,” said an organizer. “It’s a really fun, inspiring and nonsexual event. It’s really important to have clothes-free time that’s not sexualized.” (Despite this, the Bellingham ride was marred by the citation of one Christopher Ian O’Dell, 33, who had his young daughter on a trailer behind him.)
MONTANA
Rural folks in Montana have the distinction of mounting the only organized opposition to the event anywhere in the entire world. In
2014, opponents of a clothing-optional bike ride “packed” a city council meeting and spent 90 minutes complaining about the fact that the city issued a permit. “Our children will be scarred for life if they see anything like this,” the Missoulian newspaper quoted a yokel as saying. “Anybody who rides without clothing in our city should be arrested, put in handcuffs and taken to jail,” said another yokel. Yes, in Montana there is actually something edgy about a large group of people riding bicycles in body paint. (The permit was allowed.)
CANADA
Our northern neighbors spend the weeks before the ride nannying participants. In Edmonton, organizers put together warnings about the need for sunscreen, bottled water, bike bags and a soft cushion for seats. “Your butt can get sweaty on a plastic seat, so it’s nice to cover it with some material,” said the planner.
BUFFALO
In western New York state, which staged its first naked bike ride a few weeks ago, riders should definitely pack some clothes. The after-party was scheduled for a bar called Handlebar, where shoes and underwear were required.
LOS ANGELES
In car-loving L.A., riders should expect to engage in violent confrontations with irritated locals. In 2011, riders were “punched by angry motorists, called anti-gay slurs and injured in unprovoked attacks on the route in Echo Park,” according to the LAist blog. In 2013, one rider on a bike path was punched and another had a glass bottle thrown at him. In L.A., this shit ain’t cute. Be glad you live in Portland, where a naked bike ride barely counts as weird anymore.
BOOTSY’S RUBBER BAND [FUNK] “The Jimi Hendrix of bass” is the second-most prominent Parliament-Funkadelic alum, but the three late-’70s albums he made with his Rubber Band—in which he proved to be a master of the funk ballad, in particular—are nearly as essential as anything he did alongside George Clinton. Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside St., 2250047. 8 pm. $35 advance, $40 day of show. 21+.
THURSDAY JUNE 25 SAKE FEST PDX [BOOZE] Sake makers will descend on the Sentinel Hotel for a festival pairing 130 sakes, plum wines and beers with food from local and sushi bars like Biwa, Hokusei, American Local and Chizu. Sentinel Hotel, 614 SW 11th Ave., 224-3400, sakefestpdx. com. 5:30-9 pm. $55-$75. LITHOP [BOOKS] The third installation of the literary reading pub crawl heads downtown with readings from more than 50 Portland writers, slinking among drunken Old Town haunts like Dante’s, Ash Street Saloon and Shanghai Tunnel. The schedule is at lithoppdx.com if you want to plan carefully, but after 8:30 pm you can also just hang at the Mercy Corps building for a solid lineup from Rene Denfeld to Arthur Bradford. Drink up early at the Ash Street. Various downtown locations, lithoppdx.com. 7-10 pm. Free.
SATURDAY JUNE 27 THE WE SHARED MILK [DISSOLVE INTO FUZZ] FUZZ This is both a reunion and funeral for local psych-pop outfit the We Shared Milk, whose tenure of scuzz, fuzz and lo-fi goodness is coming to an official end. It’s leaving us with one final gig, and a gift: a Banana Stand live album. Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., 288-3895. 9 pm. $8 advance, $10 day of show. 21+. DAY OF THE BAER [BEER] For its first anniversary, Baerlic Brewing Co. will pour more than 30 beers, from a Doug E Fresh Douglas fir aged IPA to a bourbon and cocoa nib oatmeal stout called Grandpa’s Breakfast. Tickets at eventbrite.com. Baerlic Brewing, 2235 SE 11th Ave., 477-9418, baerlicbrewing.com. Noon-8 pm. $20 for glass and 10 drink tickets. 21+.
TUESDAY JUNE 30 GARY WILSON [AVANT LOUNGE] After emerging from the New York underground in the late ’70s with a never-beforeheard fusion of lounge-singer bravado and lite jazz funk, Wilson faded into obscurity while remaining a lodestar for future weirdos like Ariel Pink and Beck. In 2004, tastemakers rediscovered his seminal bedroom opus You Think You Really Know Me, winning him new fans and a revived career. Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison St., 239-7639. 8:30 pm. $12 advance, $14 day of show. 21+. Willamette Week JUNE 24, 2015 wweek.com
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