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VOL 41/21 03.25.2015

Starting a pot business? These companies want to help. By Aaron Mesh Page 12


Willamette Week MARCH 25, 2015





Scientists have difficult lives and should not have to listen to others socialize in the vicinity of their West Hills mansions. 10

Lompoc Brewing made 100 IPAs in the past three years and no one noticed…until now. 21

There’s now a bank that will accept your weed money. 12

sort of, ugh, “blues rock.” 26

A new Oregon City brewery is using George Washington’s homebrew recipe for molasses beer. 18 Apizza Scholls now makes brunch pizzas with bacon and eggs. 20


Marilyn Manson ’s new music is a

A regular, sane Clown Posse is coming to Portland. 33 Of course one of the best new horror films in the past decade is set in Detroit. 39 You can now buy weed with your debit card in Vancouver. 43


Photo by Christine Dong.

A Reed College male rights activist was banned from class forums because he wouldn’t stop talking about rape.

STAFF Editor-in-Chief Mark Zusman EDITORIAL Managing Editor for News Brent Walth Arts & Culture Editor Martin Cizmar Staff Writers Nigel Jaquiss, Aaron Mesh, Beth Slovic Copy Chief Rob Fernas Copy Editors Matt Buckingham, James Yu Stage & Screen Editor Enid Spitz Web & Projects Editor Matthew Korfhage Music Editor Matthew Singer Books Penelope Bass Dance Kaitie Todd Visual Arts Richard Speer

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Willamette Week MARCH 25, 2015






there’s more to






than depression. When symptoms persist, there may be more you can do.

If feelings such as depressed mood or lack of energy are keeping you from the things that matter to you, you may be eligible for this research study. It’s evaluating an investigational drug designed to work with antidepressants to see if it can help address unresolved symptoms of depression.

All eligible study participants will receive at no cost: Consultation with study doctor

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TO LEARN MORE: Oregon Center for Clinical Investigations, Inc. 503-276-6224 Whether or not you are currently taking an antidepressant, you may be eligible to participate.


Willamette Week MARCH 25, 2015



I have followed the John Kitzhaber-Cylvia Hayes saga with keen interest and respect for the investigative work done by Nigel Jaquiss and Willamette Week. But as an Oregon attorney retired from local government service, I am disturbed by WW’s decision to publish attorney-client privileged communications. The attorney-client privilege exists to protect effective assistance of counsel, a fundamental element of the right to a fair trial. Every attorney and client relies on the privilege. Much of the advice I gave my government clients was rendered in writing on a public server, and all of it was subject to established privilege protections. It would have been unethical to transmit legal advice without those protections. The attorneys I have spoken with unanimously find the inferences drawn by WW from these communications to be inaccurate and unfair. And the impact on potential jurors is evident in the public “comments” that follow the articles. But the attorneys involved cannot offer a full response, in part because of their ethical obligations under the attorney-client privilege. I understand the broad reach of the First Amendment principles under which WW published. But ethical journalists refrain from publishing material that jeopardizes the right to a fair hearing. Why did you choose to publish private communications between the governor and his counsel? Your readers deserve an explanation beyond “Because We Can,” the banner under which ISIS beheadings are broadcast. Kathleen Pool Northeast Portland

Alternating girls’ and boys’ basketball games was tried a number of years ago by at least some local high schools, and the predictable happened. Sad though it may be, most of the crowd left after the boys finished playing [“Ladies First,” WW, March 18, 2015]. Unless a girls’ team has a transcendent player like [former Franklin star] Shoni Schimmel, most of the public will not be interested enough to stick around. That results in embarrassed girls, angry parents and nothing positive. I agree that it is not fair for boys’ sports to be the marquee all the time, but it is simply a fact that the audience for boys’ sports is far larger than the audience for girls’ sports. —“GoDucks”

in 2006, i took the $52 incentive to disconnect my downspouts. Nine years later, i’m still getting charged $29 for “stormwater.” Apparently i was supposed to fill out a special form in 2007 to get my discount. in the meantime, i’m out $800! —Eric B.

water onsite. This program helps to keep folks from taking the $53 and just reconnecting their downspouts next spring—which, frankly, Eric, does seem like the sort of thing you might do. Your beef seems to be that nobody told you about this. BES points out that all ratepayers received multiple mailings on the subject. A separate mailing went to everybody who’d participated in the downspout-disconnection program. BES also bought radio ads, hung banners and held biweekly workshops on the program for two years. They hired a guy in a giant raindrop costume (I shit you not; “Stormy the Raindrop”) to pimp the program at public events. Even if you missed all this, the stormwater charge (along with info on how to avoid it) has been on every bill you’ve received since 2007. You and Rakim can sign up at, but that’s as close as you’ll get to being “Paid in Full.”

Of all the spurious rights to which Americans believe themselves entitled, few are held more sacred than the right to not pay attention. That said, Eric B.—as much as I admire the groundbreaking hip-hop you created with Rakim in the late ’80s—I’m afraid the maxim that applies in your case is, “You snooze, you lose.” As you note, in 2006 the Bureau of Environmental Services offered a one-time disconnection incentive of $53 per downspout to homeowners, money you happily spent on Crocs and bacon-flavored mayonnaise. In 2007, a separate program, “Clean River Rewards,” was created, offering an ongoing discount to property owners who managed storm-


In last week’s Cheap Eats guide, the address for Guero food cart’s Southeast location was incorrect. It is 113 SE 28th Ave. We also misidentified the cheese that Matthew Korfhage orders on his burgers at Little Big Burger. It is chevre. And the Bomber restaurant in Milwaukie remains open despite the absence of its titular plane. The B-17 bomber has not been scrapped but is at McNary Field in Salem, where they hope to restore it. WW regrets the errors. LEttErs to thE Editor must include the author’s street address and phone number for verification. Letters must be 250 or fewer words. Submit to: 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Fax: (503) 243-1115. Email:

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POLITICS: Loretta Smith’s spending issues. HOUSING: Neighbor vs. neighbor. CITY HALL: Amanda Fritz’s fee changes. COVER STORY: Banking on weed.

Beyond the Print

7 10 11 12



What do you give the zoo that has everything? A dead water buffalo. That’s the unusual offer Clackamas County heavy-hauling magnate Terry Emmert made the Oregon Zoo this month. Emmert owns the Portland Thunder arena football team (“Touchdown Terry,” WW, March 5, 2014) and a herd of more than LION LUNCHMEAT 400 water buffalo. Two weeks ago, Emmert sold the zoo a water buffalo, slaughtered at Emmert’s meat-packing plant in Sandy, as a meal for the zoo’s lions. Zoo officials say the carcass gave the lions new nutrients and a change of pace. “The horns, tough hide, udders, and just the mere size of it, offered unique and enriching activities,” says Africa section curator Jennifer Davis. “It ended up weighing around 1,400 pounds, and not only the lions but also the African painted dogs got to enjoy it for a little while on the second day.” Emmert charged the zoo about $2,800. “The king of beasts gave it a great rating,” Emmert says. “They loved it.” Reed College student Jeremiah True drew national attention March 19 after claiming he was bounced from the discussion portion of his Humanities 110 class for arguing that sexual assault statistics are inflated. His story got weird from there. After BuzzFeed reported his claims and rape culture deniers championed his cause, True, 19, posted increasingly aggressive TRUE rants online, prompting fellow students to report feeling unsafe on campus. In an interview with GotNews posted on YouTube on March 24, True claimed he was purposefully acting like a “jerk wad” to draw more attention and parlay the controversy into a career in media. As of March 24, Reed officials were standing by their decision to bar True. The March 19 filing deadline to run for the Portland School Board has passed, and a crucial set of endorsements is already in. The Portland Association of Teachers, a union whose influence and money candidates covet, has endorsed Julie Esparza Brown in Zone 1 to replace Ruth Adkins, who’s not running; Paul Anthony in hotly contested Zone 2 to replace Matt Morton, who’s also not running; incumbent Bobbie Regan in Zone 3; and Mike Rosen, who’s running uncontested in Zone 7. Candidates must live in the geographic zones in which they run, but all voters in the Portland Public Schools district can cast votes in all races. The implications of legal weed continue to reverberate. After the federal government issued a memo in December telling native tribes they’d be treated the same as states when it comes to marijuana enforcement, former Oregon Gov. Ted Kulongoski, who serves on the Warm Springs tribes’ economic development board, and tribal and board member Pi-Ta Pitt launched an evaluation of whether a commercial growing operation is something the tribes should try. “It’s something we have to start looking at, whether we want to or not,” Pitt says. “What we’ll do is really unknown at this point.” Read more Murmurs and daily scuttlebutt.


Willamette Week MARCH 25, 2015





christopher onstott


EYES ON THE PRIZE: Multnomah County District 2 Commissioner Loretta Smith.


No elected official in Portland spends more time with constituents than Multnomah County Commissioner Loretta Smith. Whether flipping pancakes at the Hollywood Senior Center or personally taking underprivileged teens from the SummerWorks program to buy office attire, Smith works her district nonstop. “She’s really passionate about summer jobs for kids, and particularly for kids of color,” says Andrew McGough, executive director of Worksystems Inc., which partners with the county on summer internships. And nobody on the top floor of Multnomah County headquarters is thinking harder about her political future than Smith. Last fall, freshly re-elected to a second term, Smith sought the advice of County Attorney Jenny Madkour: Could the prohibition on county commissioners running for other offices midterm or the two-term limit for commissioners be overturned?

They could, Madkour told her, but other commissioners showed no interest in referring either question to voters. Political consultants say Smith wanted to run for City Commissioner Amanda Fritz’s seat in 2016. After Fritz’s husband died in a September car crash, Fritz announced she’d run again after all, ending Smith’s hopes of running for a vacant seat. Nonetheless, Smith, 50, continued to use her position to promote herself. In February, she directed staff at county headquarters to spend $939 to book a flight to Portland for a man named Albert Turner Jr. Turner, a county commissioner from Alabama, was scheduled to speak at a Feb. 27 Black History Month event at Living Room Theaters. Smith wanted taxpayers to pick up his travel expenses and $1,000 speaking fee. But Smith’s order troubled county staff. “The contract is very concerning,” a county finance officer, Patrick Williams, wrote in a Feb. 20 email. “We are to pay him $1,000, arrange a car service, provide security, and lodge him at a four-star or better hotel. Even if Commissioner Smith approves this, I don’t think it is allowable.” Smith says the event was aimed at raising awareness of voting-rights issues. Yet she accounted for the event as a

political fundraiser to benefit herself. She spent $2,515 from her campaign funds to rent the theater. She listed the purpose as “fundraising expenses.” It’s against state law to spend public money on an overtly political event that’s aimed at helping a politician raise money. Turner didn’t make the trip because of a logistical snafu. But the event isn’t the only time Smith’s spending of taxpayer money has been aimed at elevating her political profile—and has alarmed county officials. On 10 occasions in the past three years, county officials have required Smith to SINCE 2012, COuNTY fIguRES SHOw LORETTa SMITH HaS SPENT abOuT THREE TIMES aS MuCH aS OTHER COuNTY COMMISSIONERS ON TRavEL aND SPONSORSHIPS.




DISTRICT 1 Deborah Kafoury/Jules bailey

DISTIRCT 3 JuDy shipracK

DISTRICT 4 Diane McKeel


DISTRICT 2 loretta sMith

repay money she spent improperly. Records obtained by WW show Smith also spends more on travel than any of the other commissioners—$81,192 since 2012, nearly twice as much as the next most frequent flier. Smith often travels luxuriously—taxpayers, for instance, picked up a $420-a-night room for her in a San Diego hotel last June for a conference of Latino officials. Since 2012, Smith has spent $52,595 in taxpayer money on nonprofit fundraisers—

nearly as much as the other four county commissioners have spent combined. County rules prohibit direct contributions to organizations, but buying tables at fundraisers and sponsoring events is allowed. Such expenditures raise Smith’s political profile in the community and earn points with voters. Smith’s expenditures appear to be legal; they also buy her goodwill from leaders of the organizations that Smith is spending taxpayer money to support. “As an elected official, Commissioner Smith is ultimately accountable to her constituents,” says County Chairwoman Deborah Kafoury. “However, like all of us, she must appropriately manage her office’s use of county funds. As a principle, of course, county resources should not be spent to influence an election.” (Commissioners Jules Bailey, Diane McKeel and Judy Shiprack declined to comment). Smith defends her spending. “I support programs that align with Multnomah County’s values,” she says. “I’m just doing what the constituents of District 2 want me to do.” Smith, whose district covers North and Northeast Portland out to 185th Avenue, first won election in 2010. She’d spent the previous 23 years working for U.S. Sen. Ron Wyden (D-Ore.) in Multnomah County. One of her roles in Wyden’s office was handing out federal grant money. “The folks in the community already knew me when I won this job,” says Smith. In her first term, Smith rarely made cont. on page 9 Willamette Week MARCH 25, 2015



Willamette Week MARCH 25, 2015

politics news. But in June 2013, she became the focus of unwanted attention when Baruti Artharee, the police liaison for Mayor Charlie Hales, embarrassed her at public event. “Here’s our beautiful commissioner, Loretta Smith. Mmm, mmm, mmm—she looks good tonight,” Artharee recalled saying to the audience. He claimed it was his way of giving her a compliment “in a comical way.” The incident, and public outrage, cost him his job. Smith suffered a backlash among some AfricanAmerican leaders for calling Artharee out. When she ran for re-election in 2014, Smith faced two candidates whom Artharee and his allies had encouraged to run. She won reelection by a wide margin anyway. One of the ways Smith repaired relationships in the African-American community was to spend heavily on supporting local organizations. Each county commissioner gets an annual office budget of about $560,000. Commissioners can use that money to hire staff, outfit their offices, travel and support community organizations. In 2014, Smith spent $33,500 of taxpayer money on community organizations—more than the other commissioners combined, and nearly eight times what she had spent in 2013, when she wasn’t running for re-election. Records show, for example, that Smith doled out $5,000 to sponsor an Urban League event, kicked in $3,500 to send members of the Peninsula Wrestling Club to a tournament, and paid $1,500 to help sponsor a graduation ceremony for Rosemary Anderson High School. “The reason I do it is, it’s what the residents of my district want,” Smith says. “I get asked for money all day, every day.” Smith says she always supports groups that advance the county’s mission of helping the underprivileged. Except that’s not always the case. Last year, for instance, records show Smith spent $2,000 in Memphis, Tenn., to sponsor a youth program at the National Association of Black County Officials.

Smith declined to explain the Memphis sponsorship but says she’s careful to spend money for designated purposes. And yet, records show she spent $2,000 at grocery stores last year. She says those expenditures help needy constituents and that spending on food is appropriate for events that take place during meal times. “I’m not doing this so people will support me,” she says. “I do it because this is who I am.” In November, Kafoury ordered a revision of county policy on expenditures. The new policy prohibits “donations, contributions, unconditional gifts [and] grants.” “When I took over as county chair, one of the first things I did was tighten up the standards regarding county spending, particularly around sponsorships, to ensure openness and transparency,” she says. “I will continue to look at ways to strengthen county spending policies so that we continue to meet the expectations of the public.” In each of the past four years, Smith has spent more on travel than any other commissioner, including the chair. Last year, Smith spent $26,750, far more than any other commissioner, visiting Atlanta, Washington, D.C., Memphis, and San Diego, among other cities, usually taking at least one staff member along and staying for several days at county expense. Her bill for four nights at the Coronado Island Resort and Spa near San Diego last June came to $1,900.30, not including food and her rental car. County rules give commissioners wide latitude for travel. Smith’s chief of staff, Barbara Willer, says Smith’s trips benefit her constituents. “Commissioner Smith is in leadership positions on boards that serve Multnomah County’s interests,” Willer says. “These boards are both local and national in scope and require her to travel.” More than any other commissioner, Smith has run afoul of county spending guidelines.


“the reason i do it is, it’s what the residents of my district want. i get asked for money all day.” —LORETTA SMITH

Over the past year, county finance officials have asked Smith to repay taxpayers for her spending on 10 occasions, totaling $1,700. Most of the repayments are for improper expenditures totaling about $1,400. The biggest single repayment was for $500, when Smith took out duplicate cash expenditures for a 2013 trip to Washington, D.C. Last year, Smith spent $250 of county money on a campaign photo shoot. On that occasion and two others, Jimmy Brown, one of five chiefs of staff she’s had in the past four years, paid money back to the county. In one instance last July, Brown paid Smith’s $47.55 in arrears to the county when her check for a disallowed bar tab in Washington bounced. Smith says she accidentally wrote a check on an account she had closed out of concern about identify theft. Smith says in the other cases that Brown paid the county back on her behalf as she was traveling, and county officials OK’d it. “What we’re talking about here is mostly trip reconciliations,” Smith says. “If you’re asking if I’ve done anything inappropriate, the answer is no.” Kafoury wants commissioners to be above reproach. “I have spoken with every board member about appropriate county spending,” Kafoury says.”I believe our job at Multnomah County is to stretch every dollar so that we can continue to provide critical services to those in need. That always has to be our top priority.”

Willamette Week MARCH 25, 2015




SHARING-ECONOMY SHAKE-UP: West Hills neighbors succeeded in shutting down a five-bedroom vacation rental in their backyard—the first rental of its kind to be denied since the City Council approved Airbnb and competitors last summer.


Policing the “sharing economy” as it evolves in Portland has been challenging for city officials. Rulemakers continue to grapple with what to do with Uber, and short-term vacation rental sites such as Airbnb present regulatory headaches for the city (“Air Invasion,” WW, March 11, 2015). The Bureau of Development Services waits for neighbors to complain before enforcing any rules (“Safety Last,” WW, Nov. 5, 2014). And complain they did, at least in the case of one West Hills vacation rental. Out of the 195 short-term rental applications the BDS has received, only five have been denied. One of those rejections: a five-bedroom rental in the West Hills’ Healy Heights neighborhood. Neighbors successfully ousted what they describe as a B&B in their backyard, but it took an appeal, a lawyer and conflict between neighbors to make it happen. Trouble started last summer, when Frank and Anna Halpin rented out their entire 8,200-square-foot home on VRBO, a short-term vacation rental site. Frank Halpin says he wanted to rent his house while vacationing in Europe. The house, located on Southwest Council Crest Drive, boasts a large deck with sweeping views of downtown Portland. Guests threw loud parties on the deck all summer long, says Mason Van Buren, president of the Healy Heights Neighborhood Association. Jae Lee, who lives a few doors from the Halpins, testified against the rental in the Jan. 28 appeals hearing. Lee claimed the loud parties made it difficult for his daughter, who suffers 10

Willamette Week MARCH 25, 2015

from a developmental disorder, to sleep. “It affected our lives very, very severely, and we couldn’t really function for our work either,” Lee said. “We both work at [Oregon Health & Science University], we are scientists, and we already have a really difficult life.” When Halpin and his family returned from Europe, he says they applied for a short-term vacation rental permit and made plans to rent out their home again in the summer of 2015. “We thought it was a one-time thing,” Van Buren says. “Then they applied for the license, and everyone just became unglued. You know, we’re not going through that again.” Despite more than 20 emails and letters from neighbors, the city granted the Halpins a permit in December. Van Buren thinks BDS was pressured into approving the Halpins’ rental. “[Mayor] Charlie Hales is saying: ‘This is a great thing. We want to make [Portland] an Airbnb destination city. It will be so cute, and c’mon, let’s all jump on the bandwagon,’” Van Buren says. The mayor’s office doesn’t see it that way. “Airbnb and these sort of short-term rentals did exist,” says Dana Haynes, Hales’ spokesman. “Thinking that we invited Airbnb here because we thought it would be ‘cute’ somehow ignores the facts on the ground.” The neighborhood association appealed. The one neighbor who independently appealed the Halpins’ permit was Brian Wannamaker, a developer, arts patron and regular donor to political candidates (“Rise of the Falcon,” WW, March 20, 2013). “It was somewhat redundant, but I just wanted to be clear my position was spoken for,” Wannamaker says. “I also had an attorney and a highly qualified architect looking at housing permits and land use.” Wannamaker says he moved to Council Crest three years ago to raise his son in a quiet spot. In response to neighbor complaints, the Halpins drafted house rules aimed at mollifying their neighbors. But the City Auditor’s Office revoked the Halpins’ permit to operate their “type B” rental—a property where three to five bedrooms are rented on a short-term basis. Frank Halpin wrote in an email that he feels cheated by the decision. He may now rent out only one or two bedrooms in his house using what’s called a “type A” permit. “Ironically,” Halpin says, “An opponent of the rental of the house asked to rent the house for visiting family to use.”




amesh@wweek .com

City Commissioner Amanda Fritz is proposing a massive increase in some of the fees the city charges developers of new homes and commercial buildings. Fritz is proposing an overhaul of the fees used to expand the city’s parks. The plan Fritz is scheduled to bring before the City Council on April 15 could mandate a 37 percent hike on the fees that a developer of a new, 1,600-square-foot single-family home pays to Portland Parks & Recreation. The builder of a smaller house could see fees go down. But the developer of a new office building could see the bill from the parks bureau go up nearly 300 percent. Unlike the much-savaged “street fee” Mayor Charlie Hales has pushed for in the past year, Fritz’s fee change has until now moved forward quietly. Developers—some of whom first saw the size of the proposed fee change earlier this month—say new fee increases threaten to further drive up the cost of housing. “All it does is push prices up,” says Greg Goodman, whose family is one of downtown’s largest property owners. “I’m not opposed to an increase, but tie it to the cost of living and population growth. To raise fees 300 percent? That’s mind-boggling to me. They should have told us they were going to do this before we supported the parks operating bond.” Fritz argues the change would reward builders of smaller houses. “One of the intended consequences of this policy is larger homes will pay more,” she says. “That may encourage developers to make them smaller, which in turn makes them more affordable.” Fritz’s proposal to increase fees comes

as colleagues Hales and City Commissioner Steve Novick have taken fire for more than a year on a proposed $46 million street fee to fund transportation projects. And Fritz is proposing the fee increase less than six months after Portland voters approved renewing a $68 million property tax bond to fund parks. That money will go to repairing existing parks facilities, from decaying bridges in Forest Park to decrepit playground equipment in Southeast Portland’s Creston Park. But the parks bureau can’t use that money to purchase new pa rk la nd or bu i ld new playg rounds. The bureau instead bankrolls its capital projects with fees on developers called systems development charges. Other bureaus also levy charges on new construction to fund water, sewer and transportation infrastructure—but parks fees are the biggest component of such charges. For instance, the developer of a single-family home in Portland currently pays $18,360 in total systems development


charges: $8,582 of that goes to parks. Fritz’s proposal would make the fees more progressive by scaling them to the square footage of the project. In fact, in neighborhoods outside the central city, the parks fees for a home of less than 1,000 square feet would drop to $6,773. But the parks charges for a



PARKLANDIA: City Commissioner Amanda Fritz is using $15.7 million in fees on developers to fund new parks in East Portland.

1,600-square-foot home, a more common size, would rise to $11,265. The developers of bigger homes could pay the parks bureau $13,185. The increase proposed for developers of commercial properties is far steeper: The builder of a 2,549-square-foot retail building would see parks fees jump from $14,066 to $56,312—a 300 percent spike. It’s unclear how much more money these fee hikes would bring the parks bureau. Portland Parks & Recreation spokesman Mark Ross says the changes are not designed to increase revenue but to divide costs more equitably and better ref lect the city’s growth. (Commercial development pays less than 5 percent of the fees paid to the parks bureau, according to city records.) “The increases,” Ross says, “are simply necessary to help pay for the impact on Portland parks of new development.” But the bureau is seeking additional f unds. Cit y budget documents show Portland Parks & Recreation says it faces a $47.7 million annual shortfall over the next 10 years to meet its goal for adding parkland and community centers.

15% 10%

Pa rk s bureau of f icia ls have been w or k i n g s i n c e D e c e m b e r 2 01 2 on changes to how they calculate systems development charges. Justin Wood, a lobbyist for the Home Builders Association of Metro Portland, sat on the parks committee that studied the changes. He saw the fee increases in December—and now says they are too steep. “ We’d love to have better pa rk s,” Wood says. “But who pays for them? When we start talking about $13,000 on a single-family house, just to parks, it starts to get a little crazy.” The Portland Business Alliance sent a March 10 letter to parks officials, warning that its members are “extremely concerned” by the fee hikes. “Portland has largely become unaffordable for middle-income families buying a home,” PBA president Sandra McDonough tells WW. “These increases are going to make housing less affordable.” Fritz disagrees. “The proposal is not designed to raise more revenue,” she says. “We’re doing it to be more fair. New development needs to pay its way. No more, no less.”





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Willamette Week MARCH 25, 2015




Starting a pot business? These companies want to help. BY AARO N M ES H


lexa Divett is getting a contact high. Divett runs Maya Media Collective, a Northeast Portland company that is part of the commercial frenzy surrounding the legalization of marijuana in Oregon. But Divett’s company doesn’t grow, process, sell—or even touch—the reefer. Her firm creates brands, logos and ads for dispensaries. “I’m a far better marketer,” she says, “than I am a botanist.” When voters passed Measure 91 in November, they created a new market for recreational weed that could exceed $219 million a year, an Oregon State University study has projected. Much of that business remains on the horizon. Recreational weed becomes legal in July, but the state’s first retail stores won’t open until the fall of 2016—nearly two years after voters approved the system. But a second weed economy is already thriving. It’s businesses from banking to computer software to security systems that service weed’s growers and sellers. “I’ve never seen anything like this in my lifetime,” says Erika Yoshida Watson, 34, a real-estate broker who last year formed a company to


Willamette Week APRIL 1, 2015

broker the sale of warehouses for indoor pot farms. “It’s a trickle-down economic effect from marijuana. I don’t know if you can measure it. But it’s enormous.” These support businesses share few of the risks from selling a drug still banned by the federal government. They remain largely untouched by the laws being crafted in the Oregon Legislature and the rules assembled by the Oregon Liquor Control Commission. They have other advantages, too: They aren’t subject to punishment from the federal tax code, which prohibits weed merchants from deducting ordinary business costs—like payroll and car mileage. “The beauty of these ancillary businesses, from a tax perspective, is they don’t come anywhere close to touching the plant,” says Matt Goldberg, a Lake Oswego lawyer advising marijuana businesses. “It’s an ability to participate in a huge growth industry while sidestepping some of the problems.” For these companies, the legal-weed bonanza has already begun. In the following pages, you’ll meet the entrepreneurs selling cameras, bank accounts and land to weed’s legal dealers. “We have an opportunity to shape an industry,” Divett says, “help our clients play with the big boys, and make some money.”


The Software

CAMERAMAN: CannaGuard founder Noah Stokes says weed growers need security systems for lots of reasons. “Cash, unreliable employees—oh, and piles and piles of marijuana, the most untraceable, easiest-to-sell market of anything,” he says.

The Security Burglars hit David Pool’s North Portland medical-marijuana grow in 2012, when he was on his honeymoon. One year later, he was robbed again. Thieves propped a ladder against the side of his warehouse, drilled a peephole in a boarded-up window, and kept watch over his plants for two months, waiting until the buds blossomed to break in and steal the harvest. “I was like, ‘This is a freaking nightmare,’” Pool recalls. “We were getting attacked from all sides. You go to bed every night wondering: What time is it going to be tonight?” The third time Pool was hit, he called Noah Stokes. Stokes, 31, is the founder and CEO of OmniGua rd, a secur it y compa ny headquartered near the Lake Oswego Walmart. Pool’s call in 2013 was the first Stokes received from a weed grower. Demand for Stokes’ weed security systems grew so quickly, he formed a second company late last year: CannaGuard. He says it now accounts for 40 percent of his business. Uniformed in black polo shirts and riding in black vans, his 19 employees install high-tech security systems at grow houses and dispensaries. “I’ve never met anybody who grows marijuana who’s not been robbed,” Stokes says. “Not just robbed once, but robbed multiple times.” Marijuana growers—even those operating in the legalized medical market— have been loath to call the cops after a break-in, and banks’ refusal to take weed money has left millions of dollars of cash sitting in safes, protected by little more than baseball bats. Legalization has opened the door to more formal protection. In Washington, growers are hiring ex-military guards to escort weed from farms to stores. That service hasn’t yet arrived in Oregon. But CannaGuard’s offerings include laser sensors across windows triggering


alarms that sound like barking dogs, alerts that signal growers every time someone walks into the quarantine room where the weed is drying, and phone apps that let dispensary owners view live 2-megapixel camera feeds showing the activity on their sales floor. CannaGuard charges dispensaries $8,000 to $15,000 to install a security system. Outfitting a Washington recreational grow house starts at $20,000 and tops out at $125,000. Stokes already has more than 200 customers in Oregon and Washington. State laws help: Oregon’s medical program says growers can’t carry firearms, and it mandates “a video surveillance system and alarm system that are all operational, and installation of a safe.” Alex Pavich installed 22 cameras from CannaGuard in his Northeast Sandy Boulevard dispensary, Collective Awakenings. “I don’t know of another industry that has such stringent requirements on protecting your own merchandise,” Pavich says. “But it makes the public feel better.” Stokes says the biggest threat his weed clients face is from their own workers. Growers report they’re most often robbed by contractors installing HVAC or electrical systems, or jeopardized by employees telling friends about their location. “Our cannabis customers want to know how they can protect themselves against people who know everything about their operation,” Stokes says. “We have ways.”

Justin Dufour figures many of his clients are going to be stoned when they use his computer software. So on Friday afternoons a few times a year, he invites them to the Vancouver, Wash., offices of Viridian Sciences and suggests they blaze up and take the programs for a test drive. “We let ’em get high as shit and set ’em on the software,” Dufour says. “If they can’t use it, we redesign it.” Dufour’s business partner, Andrew Pickett, is more circumspect about this practice. “Everything we do is legal,” he says. Viridian Sciences sells business-management and inventory-control software for weed growers, processors and stores. The software, which ranges from $299 to $200,000 a month, provides the digital backbone for pot sellers to meet state requirements that they track every marijuana plant from the day it’s planted to the moment a nugget is sold. Viridian illustrates the increasing intersection between tech and pot. Many of the biggest national investors in legal marijuana are venture capitalists who struck it rich in Silicon Valley—including PayPal co-founder Peter Thiel, who has placed millions in weed equity funds.


In Portland, mobile-app CEO Scott Kveton announced in January he was seeking investment opportunities in legal weed. (Kveton resigned from his pushnotification company, Urban Airship, last year after an ex-girlfriend accused him of sexual assault.) “Oregon has a reputation as a premier producing state,” Kveton wrote in a blog post. “I’ll be damned if we’re going to let this massive market pass us by like tech did in the ’90s.” On Vancouver’s sleepy Main Street, Viridian’s Dufour and Pickett have landed $500,000 in venture capital and 40 clients in seven states. They’re angling for what could be the biggest government contract in Oregon weed: the deal to program the state’s own seed-to-sale tracking system, which monitors legal buds to keep them from being sold on the black market. (The Washington contract was worth $1.1 million.) “Absolutely we’ll be apply ing ” in Oregon, says Pickett, an Oregon State University grad. Dufour and Pickett, who both bear a strong resemblance to Seth Rogen—beard, bulk, chuckle—worked for Beaverton’s Orchestra Software, which designed an inventory software to track beer for craft brewers. CONT. on page 14

BUDGRAMMERS: Justin Dufour (left) and Andrew Pickett create business-management software for weed companies. “How much fertilizer do you need?” Dufour says. “How much dirt do you need? We can plan it out five years in advance.” Willamette Week MARCH 25, 2015




Their new headquarters looks like any software startup—except for the engineer vaping at his desk, and a Frisbee holding loose bits of reefer. The office is decorated with giant wooden cutouts from a “Weed and Wieners” party Viridian held in the parking lot when Washington’s recreational weed shops opened last summer. One cutout features Uncle Sam lighting up a bong. “I love programming,” Pickett says. “I love weed. What can I say? They go great together.”

The Bank Jef Baker can hold his nose for new clients. “We get cash that has a strong aroma,” says the CEO of MBank. “It’s been sitting in a safe with the product. We just accept that. It goes with the territory.” Last fall, Baker took MBank where no other bank in Oregon has dared go: It’s openly offering accounts to marijuana growers and sellers. It now boasts 200 pot-business clients. Baker sits in his corner office on the third floor of MBank’s headquarters on Southeast Stark Street, with a bird’s-eye view of I-205 and a Motel 6. The bank moved its offices here from Gresham three years ago, as it reeled from the collapse of its real-estate loans and laid off 75 of its 120 employees. “Our bank got in a lot of trouble,” Baker says. “We were on death’s doorstep.” The ruddy, 43-year-old Baker was promoted to CEO in 2010. MBank, which shortened its name from Merchants Bank, remains a petite financial institution, with $165 million in assets. (OnPoint Community Credit Union, by comparison, has $3 billion in assets.) In February 2014, Baker listened to a federal bank regulator declare that the U.S. government “would not object” to banks taking medical-weed growers as clients. He found an untapped market: medical farmers and dispensaries operating under Oregon law, but keeping millions of dollars in safes, or hoping banks wouldn’t ask about the scent of their deposits. “These poor people can’t have basic checking accounts,” he says. “I think we can identify with the struggle—long odds, hard work.” Not everyone finds Baker’s offer generous. MBank charges pot clients a variety of fees, starting with a base charge of $5 for every $1,000 of a pot client’s revenue. MBank charges up to $700 a month for an armored car service to transport cash from farm to teller. It charges $250 for background checks to assure its clients don’t sell to the black market. “I think their fees are exploitative, frankly,” says Leland Berger, a lawyer with Oregon CannaBusiness Compliance Counsel. “While I appreciate their courage in stepping forward, I think they’re being overly greedy.” Baker has heard the gripe. “We’re not embarrassed by our fees,” he says. “Big picture, we’ve lost money on this endeavor, 14

Willamette Week APRIL 1, 2015

and I don’t know if we’re breaking even, even today.” In January, MBank tried to expand its checking-account service to Colorado weed sellers—and was sent packing by the Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation, according to The Denver Post. Baker won’t say if the FDIC warned MBank against moving pot money across state lines. “We work closely with regulators on all issues,” he says, and declines further comment. But he is aware MBank risks a federal crackdown if political winds shift. His colleagues running other banks tell him he’s crazy. “I think people are rooting for us, at some level,” Baker says. “But I clearly get they’re not willing to put their bank in that position. I’m just young and dumb enough not to know better.”

The Brokerage Erika Yoshida Watson eyeballs a bluepainted tin warehouse on a back road at the city limits of Portland. Machinery whirs inside. “It’s got some good bones,” she says. “It’ll work well.” The workers inside the warehouse don’t know the building is about to become an indoor pot farm. But Watson has already made all the arrangements. La st month, Watson’s brokerage, Expanse Commercial Real Estate, negotiated the sale of this warehouse to a Texas investor who wanted a commercial property he could rent to a weed grower. Buyers from Colorado, Florida and Chicago have also contacted Watson about sites. “I get emails daily from people saying they have highly qualified investors,” she says. “It’s a sexy industry for them to be in right now. Everybody wants to find a way to be involved in it, whether they were before or not.” These out-of-state land speculators have driven Portland’s industrial lease rates for pot tenants to as high as $1 a square foot—more than double what renting a commercial space cost a year ago. “I heard of it happening in Colorado,” Watson says, “but it’s still shocking.” Last year, Watson founded Expanse Commercial Real Estate as the first Oregon brokerage dealing primarily in weed properties. Yet its website never mentions marijuana. “Our team stays alert of the ever changing regulatory environment and areas of

KEEPING ACCOUNTS: Jef Baker met with Oregon’s congressional delegation in Washington, D.C., before deciding to accept weed clients at MBank.

WAREHOUSE HUNTER: Erika Yoshida Watson is securing properties for investors wanting a piece of the weed land rush. “I don’t anticipate it slowing down any time soon,” she says.

“WE DON’T ADVERTISE. WE’RE KIND OF INTO SECRECY.” —CHARLES GOLDWASSER SECRET FORMULA: Charles Goldwasser makes a fertilizer called Organic and Natural Bloom 2-2-4 from grain fermentation waste. It smells like soy sauce.



The Marketing

DESIGNING WOMEN: Alexa Divett (left) and Jessica Pierron create brands, logos and ads for pot companies. “We want to reward the families that worked so hard for this,” Divett says, “before the green rush blows everybody over.”


opportunity in a tight real estate market,” it says, “in order to provide exceptional service to our clients.” Watson, the daughter of Troutdale teriyaki-sauce mogul Junki Yoshida, saw the land rush coming. Her husband, Sam Watson, founded medical-pot dispensary GreenSky Collective in 2013 on North Interstate Avenue, after months of searching for a property. Most of the weed produced in Portland is grown indoors. A large-scale indoor grow needs a warehouse with secure entrances and few windows, a functioning HVAC system to keep the temperature around 80 degrees, and electrical wiring that can handle the powerful lights that will shine on the plants. State law says the building also has to be located at least 1,000 feet from a school. “It’s like [playing] Battleship,” Erika Yoshida Watson says. “There are a lot of schools. You’d be shocked.” She isn’t conflicted about facilitating a land crunch, or driving up the prices for pot entrepreneurs. “I don’t quite see it that way,” she says. “They’re able to get professional representation for real-estate transactions, instead of doing it in a basement. I think it’s a winwin.”

The Fertilizer The headquarters of West Coast Horticulture is located more than five miles from its listed address, a post-office box on Southeast Hawthorne Boulevard. The company is housed in an industrial park along the Columbia River Slough. West Coast’s owner, Charles Goldwasser, doesn’t allow visitors past the narrow front lobby. Inside the warehouse he mixes some of the best marijuana fertilizer in Oregon. The bottles of West Coast Horticulture fertilizer—its only product—feature wildflowers, mint leaves and blueberries. There’s nothing in the company’s 16-page catalog that hints at weed—even though Goldwasser’s clients are almost exclusively pot growers. “We don’t advertise,” Goldwasser says. “They find us. We don’t let anyone in the back to see what we’re making, or try to steal it. We’re kind of into secrecy.” His caution is wel l-founded. For decades, law enforcement agencies have hunted for weed growers by targeting garden stores. In 1999, a Multnomah County judge ruled the Portland Police Bureau’s Marijuana Task Force had illegally tapped the

phones of Southeast Portland indoor growing store American Agriculture in an effort to track down its customers. But Goldwasser says his secrecy is as much about competitors. Last month’s CannaCon in Seattle—the nation’s largest marijuana trade show—included more than a dozen fertilizer companies, with Australian giant Dutch Master Nutrients the show’s title sponsor. “It ’s a s competitive a s a ny other multibillion-dollar industry,” Goldwasser says. “Everybody has their secret formula, and nobody wants to disclose how much money they’re making.” Goldwasser, a 42-year-old Portland State University dropout, founded West Coast Horticulture in 2010. He started working on his fertilizer blend while employed at an herbal naturopath. He won’t say how long it took him to perfect the recipe. “It’s expensive and time-consuming,” he says. “Let’s just say that.” His flagship product, Organic and Natural Bloom 2-2-4, is brewed in 5,000-gallon steel tanks. A dark brown liquid that smells like a blend of stout and soy sauce, it feeds plants potassium and nitrogen. As states across the West legalize weed, Goldwasser has been taking his jugs of fertilizer to trade shows and holding events at garden stores. Sales have doubled each of the last four years, but Goldwasser has no plans for a higher profile. “We’ve been having rapid growth,” he says. “Eventually, I’m sure it will hit a wall, just like the tulip crash in Holland. First, they were valuable—and then they became worthless.”

When Alexa Divett saw Wieden+Kennedy designers freelancing logos for weed startups, she knew it was time to change her brand. Divett’s Maya Media Collective is the most prominent Portland firm providing weed businesses with logos and ad campaigns. She founded the company in 2013 as Canna Marketing and Design—but has decided the word “Canna” is played out in Oregon. “Cannabis is moving from this B.C. world of naked women with weed all over them,” Divett says, sipping an iced coffee in her Woodlawn neighborhood. “In order to be taken seriously, you have to be serious.” Raised in suburban Connecticut, Divett is a 37-year-old Southern Oregon University grad with intense gray eyes and a manner that suggests a New Age career counselor. She talks about medical-marijuana purveyors as “a family”—one she’s part of, having grown medicinal-weed plants for the past eight years. This month, she’s publishing an e-book, Marijuana Millions, that offers weed dispensaries advice on how to corner market share. It repeatedly quotes Yoda—and makes a blunt pitch for money. “For each dollar that comes in the door,” it says, “a quarter should be set aside for your marketing budget with the plan to grow that number as your revenue grows.” Divett’s advice for weed shops? Picture your ideal customer. Build your business around that customer. Then create a brand—a logo, an ad campaign and mass emails—aimed at getting that person in your store. Maya Media Collective has 20 clients. Divett instructed the Pure Green dispensary on Northeast Sandy Boulevard to target women and older patients. Divett’s business partner, Jessica Pierron, designed a print campaign for True North Extracts, a Portland company selling highly potent cannabis oil. The ads, emblazoned “Live Your Truth,” show hikers on an elevated wooden train trestle deep in the Cascadian forest. “They want to advocate their product for people who are super-sick and people who are going snowboarding,” Divett says. “Not everybody who sees that ad is going to walk 10 miles on a railroad track. But live your truth.” Weed advertising has its limitations. It’s impossible to get a federal trademark for a banned drug. Social-media sites like Facebook won’t accept pot ads. And state lawmakers are pushing for tight restrictions on recreational ganja ads, to keep weed from being marketed to kids. But Divett’s biggest worry is the arrival of big marijuana investors. She talks about protecting local market share in almost spiritual terms. “Of course I want to make money,” she says. “I can’t live on nothing. But there’s an opportunity to help the people who risked their lives for this plant—to give them a foothold so they can compete on the national stage.” Willamette Week MARCH 25, 2015



Willamette Week MARCH 25, 2015


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scoop Oregon City: The New Portland? the Portland Poetry slam curse: Kickstand, the basement comedy space at Velo Cult bike shop and bar in Northeast Portland, has been shut down by the city, at least temporarily, after a visit by the fire marshal. (Portland Fire & Rescue has not yet offered confirmation.) Owner Sky Boyer says the issue is related to zoning. “Apparently people sitting down watching comedy is different from people walking around shopping,” Boyer says. Boyer doesn’t know whether getting city approval will involve structural changes to the building. The venue began hosting standup and other events in December—including Portland Poetry Slam, which has bounced from Backspace to Slabtown to Kickstand to a private home as each venue closed. “It is very disappointing, because we loved being at and partnering with Velo Cult,” the organizers tell WW. “They are wonderful, hardworking, incredibly kind people—and also because there’s a very serious lack of affordable all-ages venues for communities like ours.” kanye’s clothes coming: East Burnside streetwear boutique Machus landed Kanye West’s new and highly soughtafter streetwear line. “I’m the only one in town and probably the only one in the Northwest, but I can’t say for sure,” owner Justin Machus says of carrying the line. On the low end, Kanye West x Adidas pieces are rumored to be $400 for a solid-color crewneck sweater, and go up to $4,000 for a militarystyle jacket. Until now, yeezy 750 boost Kanye’s line has been strictly shoes, including the Yeezy 750 Boost—they look like a cross between Marty McFly’s shoes from Back to the Future Part II and Uggs—and were available in only 18 stores nationally and sold out on the first day. oregon beer city: The up-and-coming southeasterly suburb of Oregon City will soon be home to two new breweries. AM radio man Tim Hohl, who does a weekly beer segment on KPAM, expects to open Coin Toss Brewing on Fir Street in July with two flagships, Black Hole Cascadian Dark Ale and George’s Honest Ale, which is based on a George Washington journal entry. “The founding fathers, all those guys were brewers,” Hohl says. “It’s based on molasses, which was more available than barley in those days. We used sweet molasses, which is different than the blackstrap molasses most people know. You know you’re drinking a beer made with molasses, but it doesn’t punch you in the face…and we used cluster hops, which are the original American hop.” >> Meanwhile, a new nanobrewery, Shattered Oak, is waiting for government approval to start selling its wares. That one-barrel operation is inside an outbuilding at owner Brandon Neldner’s Oregon City house. “We would like to make a little bit of money. We both have day jobs, and any little bit helps,” Neldner says. “But we don’t want to do any loans or anything where we’re strapped and have to make it work.” Regarding beer, Shattered Oak plans to be on the adventurous side. Aside from a British-style IPA, they’ll make honey blackberry and strawberry rhubarb ales, and something vaguely pumpkin. “I can’t tell you the details on this one because to date I don’t think anyone’s done it besides us,” Neldner says, “but let’s just call it a pumpkinstyle beer.”

adidas / us

Beyond the Print

drank: Lompoc’s crazy IPA project. music: The Artist Formerly Known as Luck-One. Books: The Haunting of Sunshine Girl in print. Movies: A low-budget throwback to John Carpenter.


GO: The Los Angeles Kiss, the Kiss of the Arena Football League, plays the Portland Thunder at 7 pm on March 27 at the Moda Center. WILLAMETTE WEEK



1. GENE SIMMONS (Los Angeles Kiss)

Once asked NPR’s Terry Gross to “welcome me with open legs,” and implied that people with depression should just kill themselves. Arena football is the painted-face glam rock of sports, and Kiss is its avatar.

2. DAVID SIEGEL (Orlando Predators)

Sells time-share condos, like every other prosperous Orlando businessman. Featured in The Queen of Versailles, a documentary about building America’s largest, gaudiest house. Campaigned for Bush in Florida in 2000; helped ruin America’s standing in the world for three generations.

THURSDAY MARCH 26 BONE THUGS-N-HARMONY [MIDWEST GANGSTAS] Cleveland’s answer to Wu-Tang Clan is touring through in advance of its final record, E. 1999 Legends—two discs that are being auctioned with bidding starting at $1 million. But this night is a throwback: The group will perform 1995’s seminal E. 1999 Eternal, an album that sounded like The Chronic if Dr. Dre smoked even more weed. Roseland Theater, 8 NW 6th Ave., 971-230-0033. $27.50. All ages.

3. VINCE NEIL (Las Vegas Outlaws)

Sex-tape star. Mötley Crüe frontman. Arrested for punching and/or strangling record producer Michael Schuman, a sex worker at the Moonlite BunnyRanch, a soundman and ex-girlfriend Alicia Jacobs. Fourth marriage officiated by M.C. Hammer. Convicted vehicular manslaughterer.


[COMEDY] “Looks like Audrey Hepburn, jokes like Pryor,” according to Amy Schumer. Natasha might perform in satin gloves and tote her wig-topped Chihuahua on one hip, but she’s known for debauchery and a record-breaking, pantless bull ride on Burning Love. Helium Comedy Club, 1510 SE 9th Ave., 888-6438669. 7:30 and 10 pm. $20-$25. 21+.

SATURDAY MARCH 28 4. TERRY EMMERT (Portland Thunder)

“The Dog the Bounty Hunter of moving stuff.” Sells jerky from his own herd of water buffalo, owns 22 cars and eight ranches, and was sued for allegedly renting a former meth lab to a single mom. Portland is holding its own here.

5. DAN GILBERT (Cleveland Gladiators)

Owns three of five pro sports teams in Cleveland, and yet everyone in Cleveland knows he would trade them all for the Detroit Pistons. Best known for writing an open letter to the American public in Comic Sans font about missing LeBron.

6. THE FRY FAMILY (San Jose SaberCats)

The owners of Fry’s Electronics were featured in a 1997 Forbes story that said the family ran a “police state,” with daily employee pat-down searches and dumpster surveillance.

MOON DUO [PSYCH] Shadow of the Sun, the new album from this Wooden Shjips spinoff, finds the group (now actually a trio, adding drums to the droning guitar-and-keyboard mix) coming into its own, taking on a synthetic ’80s vibe while maintaining the hazy pretensions of its past work. Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., 288-3895. 9 pm. $12 advance, $14 day of show. 21+. FARMHOUSE AND WILD ALE FEST [BEER] Over 45 locally foraged saisons, barrel-aged, Brett beers and gruits from breweries such as Block 15, De Garde, the Commons, Pfriem, Logsdon, plus some Olympic/ Olympia Provisions sausage, pickles and cheese. Tickets at beerboutique. com. Saraveza Bad Habit Room, 1004 N Killingsworth St., 206-4252. 11 am-9 pm Saturday-Sunday. $25, includes 10 tasters.

7. DAN NEWMAN (New Orleans VooDoo)

Bill collector for hospitals, specializing in “maximizing reimbursements.” Is therefore tightly bound to the evil in the world.

8. LARRY PAYNE AND DIVA NAGULA (Jacksonville Sharks) Payne makes military planes bent on destruction, death and protecting the American way. Nagula is a doctor who specializes in pain management. Synergy?


9. TAMPA BAY LIGHTNING (Tampa Bay Storm)

Arena football is the only world in which a hockey team can own a football team.

MIDCENTURY POTLUCK [FOOD] A Betty Crocker-style dress-up potluck for fucked-up ’50s foods like goopy stroganoff, ambrosia salad and molded Jell-O with weird floaters. Show up looking like the Draper of your choice, and judging starts at 5:30. Eagles Lodge, 4904 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 2844828. 4:30-9 pm. $7, or $5 with food bank donation.


10. RON “JAWS” JAWORSKI (Philadelphia Soul)

First Philadelphia Eagles quarterback to reach the Super Bowl. Will never reach Super Bowl again.

11. NADER NAINI (Spokane Shock)

Health-care investor. Blatant do-gooder who keeps team in small-market Spokane as “civic good.” Has no business in arena football.

12. RON SHURTS (Arizona Rattlers)

Corn-fed, Nebraska-bred Scottsdaler who QB’d his peewee football team. Makes money in something called “insurance and fixed-index annuity industry.” So boring you don’t even notice his team won three straight championships.

JEFF THE BROTHERHOOD [GARAGE PUNK] It’s never been clear if Jeff the Brotherhood’s love affair with late-’70s hesher rock has been sincere or a put-on, but the upcoming Wasted on the Dream certainly feels like a thoughtful effort to rock as hard as humanly possible. Bunk Bar, 1028 SE Water Ave., 328-2865. 9:30 pm. $8. 21+.

Willamette Week MARCH 25, 2015



= WW Pick. Highly recommended. By MATThew KOrFhAGe. editor: MArTIN CIZMAr. email: See page 3 for submission instructions.

SATURDAY, MARCH 28 Chicken Din Din

This collab between Din Din and Boondocker Farms offers two sixcourse meals with chicken liver mousse with brandied cherries, chicken a blanc with poached pears, and chicken confit with currants. The more expensive Sunday meal comes with a class on how to cook a whole chicken. Din Din Supper Club, 920 NE Glisan St., 544-1350. 7:30 pm Saturday, 2 pm Sunday. $65 Saturday, $150-$180 Sunday.

Farmhouse and Wild Ale Fest

Terroir for beer. Forty-five locally foraged saisons, barrel-aged, brett beers and gruits from Block 15, De Garde (of course), the Commons, Ale Apothecary, Pfriem, Logsdon and others, plus sausage, pickles and cheese. Tickets at beerboutique. com. Saraveza Bad Habit Room, 1004 N Killingsworth St., 206-4252. 11 am-9 pm. $25 nets 10 tasters.

SUNDAY, MARCH 29 Midcentury Potluck

You remember fucked-up 1950s foods like goopy stroganoff, ambrosia salad, and molded Jell-O with weird things floating inside it? Bring some food that nobody’s thought about for like 50 years (no kitchen access onsite), dress up like a hausfrau or Don Draper, and have your Betty Crockerness assessed by discerning judges. Just make sure your dish is there by 5:30 pm. Eagles Lodge Southeast, 4904 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 284-4828. 4:30-9 pm. $7, or $5 with food-bank donation.

Where to eat this week. 1. Holy Mole

Southeast 33rd Avenue and Hawthorne Boulevard, 347-4270. Our 2015 Food Cart of the Year serves mole from scratch with more than 30 different ingredients.

2. Gastro Mania

Northwest Quimby Street and 19th Avenue (Q19 pod), 750-8451. Alexander Nenchev makes the best damn gyros we’ve had in Portland, with fresh-grilled lamb.

3. Buki

2880 SE Division St., 360-931-1541. welcome to Portland’s only takoyaki cart, serving steaming hot octopus balls festooned with a savory brown sauce and a sprinkling of seaweed and bonito flakes.

4. Stoopid Burger

3441 N Vancouver Ave., 971-801-4180. The cart’s marquee “Stupid Burger” consists of an almost unmanageable amount of sustenance, and even the ostensibly virtuous black-beanand-corn Smart Burger, imported from New Seasons—along with the majority of the cart’s ingredients— somehow manages to feel as if it weighs 3 pounds. It’s real food, for real people, who are real drunk or hungry. And we love it.

5. Kim Jong Grillin’

4606 SE Division St., 929-0522. The first bite of that KJG Dog is an explosion of sensory stimuli: The crunch of the Binh Minh Bakery baguette is a prelude to the snap of the footlong grilled Sabrett dog, the subdued sweetness of the pickled mango slices and the spice of the kimchee.


Willamette Week MARCH 25, 2015

bAcon And Eggs: And also pizza.

APIZZA SCHOLLS WEEKEND BRUNCH For nearly a decade, Portland’s best pizza has been anachronistically named and a royal pain in the ass to buy. And for just as long, waiting for Brian Spangler’s perfectly chewy, charspotted, sweet-sauced pies has been a proud local tradition. Even after Apizza Scholls expanded into the next-door space at its Tabor pie house, wait times still topped an hour unless you posted up outside the door before the 5 pm opening time— meaning you still waited an hour. Well, consider that era over. First came the to-go orders. Then came reservations, even for a gluttonous singleton. And now, for the first time, you can get Apizza Scholls at midday. And you can get personal pies. With, like, eggs on them. On Saturdays and Sundays since December, Scholls has been open for lunch, so for just three hours each weekend day, you can get an 11-inch personal pizza, with small brunch-ish concessions like white pies topped with chilies, pepper, spinach and fried eggs just on the easy side of sunny-side up ($14 with bacon, $13 without). And for now, those mobbing crowds have not caught on, which means you can waltz right in. We sort of regret telling anybody. There are other new pies, including one with house meatballs. But I’m sort of obsessed with the PB&J ($14), so cheeseless it looks bloody, with pineapple, Canadian bacon and jalapeños on top—a Hawaiian gone spicy and ridiculously saucy. Meanwhile, the Sausage & Mama is still around in miniature form for lunch, at $14. A note, though: If you’re with someone who agrees with you about food, the lunch actually ends up being more expensive than sharing a 20-incher at dinner. And the lunch menu is heavier on the white pies than the pies with that beautifully sweet-salty marinara. But these are quibbles. More is more, and don’t let anybody tell you different. MATTHEW KORFHAGE. EAT: Apizza Scholls, 4741 Se hawthorne Blvd., 233-1286, New lunch hours 11:30 am-2:30 pm Saturday and Sunday. Dinner 5-9:30 pm daily.


10TH ANNIVERSARY BARLEYWINE (AMNESIA) Got t a ad m it it: I thoug ht Kev in K ing was crazy. In late 2013, Amnesia’s owner announced he was abandoning the Mississippi neighborhood corner where he’d established his brewery more than a decade ago to move to downtown Washougal, Wash. At the time, I thought it was a silly move, but I wasn’t especially sad to see his middling operation leave. Well, damn. Turns out, all King needed was some space to play. The new brewery he’s built in a former mortuary is killing it—they’ve traded grilled hot dogs for slow-smoked brisket, filled their basement with aging barrels and rolled out exciting new brews like a chocolate milk stout that I’ve been dreaming about for months. Celebrate with this barleywine, which is made with King’s beloved but pricey Maris Otter malt and aged in barrels that previously held red zinfandel and Oregon-distilled whiskey. It’s more fruity than hoppy, with a creamy body and vanilla finish. Or, better yet, drive to the ’Shoug and try the new lineup. MARTIN CIZMAR.



When Portlanders talk about new IPAs, Lompoc isn’t one of the first names to come up. The chain of friendly neighborhood pubs has been around for 20 years. In 1999, they launched C-Note—a 100-IBU monster using seven different hops starting with the letter C, a novelty at the time that’s become a familiar classic. But just because people don’t pay much attention to something doesn’t mean it isn’t there. Over the past five years, Lompoc’s head brewer, Bryan Keilty, estimates he has made more than 100 different IPAs. In 2014 alone, Lompoc brewed 70 different beers in its cramped North Williams Avenue brewhouse. Of those, 22 were IPAs. In other words, Lompoc made more IPAs than some breweries made recipes. This weekend, they’ll pair the latest three with a movie at the Hollywood Theatre. This is a rare moment of attention for this low-key, draft-only project, which you’d hardly notice unless you’re a regular who realized there’s a new IPA on offer at the chainlet’s pubs every other week. The IPA project started with a tasting of Lompoc’s classic year-round IPA in January 2012. Keilty—who started brewing for Lompoc in 2007—felt the house recipe was outdated. At the time, the Lompoc IPA was just base malt, a little crystal malt and early-added Centennial hops for a firm bitterness. “We thought, IPAs have changed,” Keilty says. “What you were doing 15, 20 years ago is not what you are doing today, with less bitterness and more floral character.” IPA is by far Portland’s favorite style of beer. Nationally in 2014, IPA accounted for 21 percent of all craft beer sold, a 47 percent increase from the previous year. So Keilty enlisted the brewers in a new hoppy endeavor: They began taking turns creating new recipes. “Everyone in the brewery would get to do one,” he says. And they never really stopped. The idea was a big success—the first “IPA of the day” beers Lompoc made started disappearing quickly from their taps. And then they had the idea for an IPA series, spurred by friendly co-worker rivalry. “One of the brewers was a big Red Sox fan, so he made the Green Monster IPA,” Keilty says, “I am a Yankees fan, so I did a Yankee Clipper beer, named after Joe DiMaggio. It turns out other brewers were baseball fans, and it kind


of spiraled from there.” Lompoc’s baseball IPA series was born. Other Portland brewers wanted to join in. “Ben Flerchinger from Lucky Lab said, ‘Hey, will you guys do a sci-fi series so I can participate?’” Keilty says. “I was like, ‘Yeah, definitely!’” Since then, through collaborations with brewers to bar owners to beer writers, Lompoc has curated a sci-fi series, a classic-rock series, and, most recently, the spy series. Among those, there have been such awesomely named beers as Ryes of the Machines, The Spy Who Dry Hopped Me, and The White Album—a beer that would eventually evolve into Oregonian beer writer John Foyston’s favorite beer of last year, Pamplemousse, which is now a yearround offering. (Editor’s note: The original White Album was even better.) Although the style can seem specific to uninitiated consumers, Keilty says IPAs have a wide range. “Color, hop aroma, bitterness—there are so many different things that you can do,” he says. And it goes beyond the basics—Lompoc has brewed barrel-aged IPAs and sour IPAs with lactobacillus, added fruit to the beer, included unnamed experimental hop varieties, and made IPAs with rye and wheat. They have brewed English and Belgian IPAs. They’ve put hops in a smoker and added them to a finished IPA before kegging. “As long as we have time to plan and get ingredients, we are down with anything,” Keilty says. Other brewers have collaborated in a low-key way, especially those who work for more conservative owners

who don’t embrace crazy recipes. “Our owner, Jerry Fechter, is open for anything,” Keilty says. “We have free rein to do whatever we want in the brewery, and you can’t say that at a lot of places.” Keilty’s openness to collaborations has even extended beyond the beer world. In 2013, the Hollywood Theatre, a longtime fan of Lompoc, found out about the sci-fi IPA series and offered its venue for the in-house beer and movie night that began with a screening of Bull Durham at the end of the baseball series. Lompoc provided six sci-fi-inspired beers, and the Hollywood showed the first two Terminator films. They did the same thing at the end of the classic-rock series, showing Martin Scorsese’s The Last Waltz. It was so popular, they actually ran out of beer just before the movie began playing. The next movie night, scheduled for March 27, will feature Lompoc’s spy beers and You Only Live Twice. In a city where many breweries are intent on brewing the next gold-medal beer for bottling, some forget that exploration is the key to creating excellent products. In terms of IPAs and Lompoc, it always comes down to one simple question. “Hey, you guys wanna do this?” To which Keilty will invariably respond, “Yeah, that sounds like fun.” GO: Spy IPA night at the Hollywood Theatre, 4122 NE Sandy Blvd.,, is Friday, March 27. Happy hour at 6 pm, You Only Live Twice at 7 pm. The Spy Who Dry Hopped Me, Dr. Hop, and From Lompoc With Love will be on tap. $8.

Happy Hour Beyond the Print

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The Farmers Feast 503-734-4329

Brunch Saturday & Sunday

La Calaca Comelona 2304 SE Belmont | 503-239-9675 4-10pm Mon–Sat

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Willamette Week MARCH 25, 2015


march 25-31 PROFILE

= WW Pick. Highly recommended.


Prices listed are sometimes for advance ticket sales. At-the-door increases and socalled convenience charges may apply. Event lineups are subject to change after WW’s press deadlines. Editor: MATTHEW SINGER. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, go to submitevents and follow submission directions. All shows should be submitted two weeks or more in advance of event. Press kits, CDs and especially vinyl can be sent to Music Desk, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Please include show or release date information with all physical mailings. Email: Fax: 243-1115.

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 25 Tim Barry, Jenny Owen Youngs, Cory Branan

Little Wings, With Child, St. Even

[FOLK PUNK] Members of Hot Water Music notwithstanding, the plight of the punk-rock lifer often heads down one of two paths: Keep the band going in undignified perpetuity on the nostalgia circuit, or throw in the towel and write haggard Americana tunes that often register as Hank Williams Sr. for the gutter-punk set. Tim Barry, formerly of Richmond post-hardcore heroes Avail, has followed the latter path from the looks his of press photos. But don’t let the camouflage hunting cap and pickup trucks fool you into thinking that Barry has relegated his talents to penning pastoral ditties about life on the farm. His 2014 effort, Lost & Rootless, is a lush web of folky earnestness punched up by Barry’s undeniable gift for punk-asfuck urgency and plainspoken platitudes that don’t need distortion and breakneck drum fills to hit like a pile of bricks. PETE COTTELL. Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside St., 231-9663. 9 pm. $13 advance, $15 day of show. 21+.

[INDIE FOLK] It’s been a minute since we last heard from Kyle Field. The San Francisco singer-guitarist known as Little Wings has been making delicate, enigmatic folk music as archetypal as its creator for close to 20 years. He’s worked as an actor for several independent film productions and is an accomplished visual artist whose work has shown in galleries all over the world. In person, he’s exactly like how your best friend would be if the world were a perfect place. Explains, his forthcoming LP, is out in May. CRIS LANKENAU. Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., 288-3895. 8 pm. $10. 21+.

THURSDAY, MARCH 26 The Martha’s Vineyard Ferries, Hungry Ghost

[POST-PUNK] With members of Shellac, Mission of Burma and Codeine among its ranks, the Martha’s Vineyard Ferries has quite an indie-rock pedigree to live up to, but debut album Mass. Grave finds the power trio well up to the task, blasting out shards of post-punk sweetened with Bob

CONT. on page 24




TOP FIVE FIVE BOISE BANDS PORTLAND MUST SEE AT TREEFORT By TO D D D UN N I GA N History of Boise Rock Showcase (7 pm Wednesday at El Korah Shrine) It kicks off with a tribute to Paul Revere and the Raiders, who got their start in Boise but, after a brief hiatus for some members to do military service, regrouped THE DIRTy mOOGS in Portland. Each song will feature a different singer from the Boise talent pool. Mantooth (7 pm Thursday at the Shredder) Singer John Edsall is part Iggy Pop, part Crispin Glover, and the band masterfully cranks out New York Dolls-ish rock ’n’ roll. Whatever costume Edsell comes up with will make it worth your time. The Dirty Moogs (midnight Friday at Neurolux) One of the best visual experiences you’ll have at Treefort, put on by four guys named Wolfgang. Dedicated Servers (10:50 pm Saturday at the Knitting Factory) If hip-hop is your thing, you’re probably already planning to be at the Knitting Factory on Saturday night. Dedicated Servers are a ton of fun and always put on a positive, high-energy show. Central City Music Company (4 pm Saturday at the District) Sam Counsil has been a personal white whale for me. He only plays the occasional live gig, so I’ve been wanting to catch him for years. CCMC’s bio says it does heavy metal, blues improvisation, lo-fi indie pop and experimental rock. Sounds about right. Todd Dunnigan is a Boise musician and producer and host of The History of Boise Rock on Radio Boise. SEE IT: The Treefort Music Fest is Wednesday-Sunday, March 25-29, in downtown Boise, Idaho. See for a complete schedule.

Jessica Lea Mayfield has waltzed into a minefield. Earlier this month, the Ohio singer-songwriter, in collaboration with Seth Avett of the Avett Brothers, released an album of Elliott Smith covers. That might not sound especially controversial, but there are few songwriters whose legacies are policed as heavily as Smith’s—especially in Portland, where he spent his best years as an artist. Fortunately, if the duo had any guest rap verses or dance remixes planned, it wisely left them off the record. Instead, Seth Avett and Jessica Lea Mayfield Sing Elliott Smith is a largely faithful homage. With the exception of a revved-up “Roman Candle,” Avett and Mayfield maintain Smith’s signature hushed intimacy, adorning their harmonies with little more than acoustic guitar and piano. Sure, fans might quibble about the new-folk sheen, and no one should be expected to inhabit the intense emotional terrain Smith explored. But if this project brings one person back to the source material, Mayfield will count it as a success. WW: Why Elliott Smith? Jessica Lea Mayfield: I’ve known Seth since 2006, and we knew each other for quite a while before we realized we’re both huge Elliott Smith fans. I was opening up for [the Avett Brothers] in Idaho, and he started playing “Twilight,” and I started singing it. It was an excuse for him and I to sing together, and singing these songs we’re so crazy about is what kept it going. Do you remember when you first heard Elliott Smith? I would’ve been 15 or 16. I was hanging out with this older dude, who was in his late 20s. He was playing me some of his original songs, and I really didn’t like any of them. Then he played Elliott Smith’s “Clementine,” and I was like, “That’s the best song I’ve heard all night.” The next day, this guy brings me a bottle of rum and the Elliott Smith self-titled

CD, and from there I became obsessed. What makes it a major bummer is, I didn’t know he was dead. When I went on the Internet and found out he wasn’t with us, it was devastating. Were you nervous going into this project? I wasn’t as nervous recording them, but doing the live shows has been really nerve-racking. The first show, we were all just shaking. It really hit us, what we were doing. Elliott Smith is my favorite songwriter of all time, and I just want to get it right. Are you nervous about playing Portland in particular? I guess so. I hope it goes well. I’m just going to do what I can and try to serve the songs with my part in it. Hopefully, anyone who has reservations about this project sees that it’s out of love. Have you encountered any backlash yet? Not personally, but I know there’s stuff on the Internet. I don’t have the time to go and look for things that will upset me, so I’ve decided to stay away, but I’ve heard there are people who are like, “Oh, you can’t do that.” I’ll stick with the nice comments. The most dramatic reimagining on the record is “Roman Candle.” Why did you choose to give it that treatment? At the time, I was really obsessed with “Roman Candle.” It was Seth’s idea to make it big and rocking, but I think he knew I’d be really into it. I like heavier things, and I was trying to push things in a heavier direction. I loved getting to sing it like that. We also did a version of “Roman Candle” just me, him and piano, too. That’s the one that ended up on the record. Do you have a favorite Elliott Smith song? My favorite Elliott Smith song isn’t on the record. It’s “A Distorted Reality Is a Necessity to Be Free.” That song makes me cry almost every time I hear it. I didn’t even suggest it [for the album]. I didn’t want to touch it. That one’s for me. SEE IT: Seth Avett and Jessica Lea Mayfield play Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside St., on Friday, March 27. 8 pm. $45. All ages. Willamette Week MARCH 25, 2015




Mouldian melodies. For the best example of that hard-soft dynamic, hear single “She’s a Fucking Angel (From Fucking Heaven).” or just read the title. Bunk Bar, 1028 SE Water Ave., 328-2865. 10 pm. $8. 21+.

were building toward. MAttHEW SInGER. Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside St., 231-9663. 9 pm. $15. 21+.

!!!, Hosannas, DJ Austin Tretwold

[R.I.P. cHILLWAVE] though never officially lumped in with the grainy, lo-fi, vaguely danceable chillwave movement of five years ago, Bay Area ’80s evangelists craft Spells’ sound—all vintage synthesizers, drum machines and a love of the cure—fit perfectly within the aesthetic boundaries of the genre. now a few years older, craft Spells return with Nausea, a record burdened by too much early hype. Band leader Justin Vallesteros recorded most of the record at his parents’ house in Lathrop, calif., writing on the piano instead of guitar, leading to a subdued, mature collection of skittering pop that sounds immaculate but lacks the band’s past immediacy. MIcHAEL MAnnHEIMER. Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., 288-3895. 9 pm. $12. 21+.

couRtESy oF cIVIL MuSIc

[DAncE! DAncE! DAncE!] Emerging from northern california in the late ‘90s, playing music rooted equally in the jagged funk of post-punk and the rubbery rhythms of actual funk at a time when indie rock was still slouching toward slackerdom, !!!—whose name, as must always be mentioned, is most commonly pronounced “chk-chk chk”—felt radical, if not downright revolutionary. Even today, few of its peers are as dedicated to the purity of the groove. With each successive record since its 2001 debut, the group has gradually sanded down the “punk” half of its dance-punk genre tag, attempting to mold itself into, simply, a great dance band. It got there with its last album, 2013’s Thr!!!er, which— as its namesake was to the career of its creator—sounds like the record that all previous !!! records

Craft Spells, the Bilinda Butchers, Appendixes

cont. on page 26

INTRODUCING DYLAN STARK Who: Dylan Stark (samples, digital arrangement). Sounds like: A cool, sunny, midmorning dance party on a tropical ecotour at the bittersweet end of your trip to the Amazon. For fans of: the Field, Deep Forest.

What if Apocalypse Now were set in West Linn? There drifts the mind of Portland producer Dylan Stark for a sliver of inspiration from his forthcoming album, a blissful, simmering dance-pop meditation titled Heartland. “I wanted ‘Ashen’ to feel like you were sleeping at night in a small hut in a village somewhere,” Stark says, “and you heard someone playing the music of the city over an old radio from across the village.” In this case, the village is the Portland suburbs—specifically Stark’s parents’ house, where he conceived the album, and the most tropical jet-setting he’s ever done is in front of the television. The authenticity of Stark’s music might not come from direct experience, but he’s a master of simulation, and when it comes to sampling, a visionary of Coppola-sized proportions. “At first, I would go the record store and buy vinyl. ‘I wanna be like J Dilla!,’” says the 24-year-old, affecting the accent of his 18-year-old self. “Later I realized, ‘Whoa, Flying Lotus sampled the Silent Hill game, so I can do anything.’” For Stark, that meant trawling for samples every day for years and finding inspiration for uplifting, rhythmic melodies in the oddest of places: blips of out-of-print vinyl ripped and uploaded to YouTube, chords from a Dove soap commercial, field recordings via the Library of Congress website. A few selfrecorded samples made it in, too. “The kids in my neighborhood are all the same age, and they just scream at each other,” he says. “One of the kids says, ‘I’m killing you! Lay down!’” Other than some mastering from famed engineer Matt Colton, Heartland was released exactly as it appeared on the demo Stark sent to the well-regarded London label Civil Music. “I got very lucky,” he says. “I just wanted to make dance music that wasn’t all kick and bass-forward—music with a different mission to it.” As long as that mission doesn’t involve eliminating a rogue colonel in Cambodia, it’s safe to say, “Mission accomplished.” MITCH LILLIE. SEE IT: Dylan Stark plays Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison St., with DJ Slim Jam and DJs Kiffo & Rymes, on thursday, March 26. 9 pm. Free. 21+. 24

Willamette Week MARCH 25, 2015

Willamette Week MARCH 25, 2015



Bone Thugs-n-Harmony, Joey Fatts, A$ton Matthews

[MIDWESt GAnGStA RAP] Bone thugs-n-Harmony, the ‘90s rap gods famous for sounding like Chronicera Dr. Dre if he smoked more weed, were cleveland’s five-person answer to Wu tang clan. they’re touring through Portland in advance of the release of their final record, E. 1999 Legends—two discs that are being auctioned with bidding starting at $1 million, one with just the Bones, the other featuring guest appearances by Mariah carey and Kendrick Lamar, among others. But this night is a throwback: the group will perform 1995’s seminal E. 1999 Eternal in full. PARKER HALL. Roseland Theater, 8 NW 6th Ave, 230-0033. 8 pm. $27.50. All ages.

FRIDAY, MARCH 27 Rwina Records Showcase: Eprom, Akka, Jameszoo, Torus, Danny Corn

[cEntER SPEctRUM] the netherlands’ Rwina Records has long inhabited the lurching space between the bleeding edge of electronic labels and the mainstream. the label was the first to reach out for release of Eprom’s bass-tilted, purplish beats in 2010, and the S.F. producer has remained loyal, now bringing his Dutch colleagues stateside. Label boss Akka and labelmates torus and Jameszoo join Eprom, and all are capable of both terse downbeat forays and cerebral trap. MItcH LILLIE. Branx, 320 SE 2nd Ave., 234-5683. 9 pm. $12. 21+.

any less entrancing. White’s songs are warm and smooth, with just the right amount of oddball thrown in. SHAnnon GoRMLEY. Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., 288-3895. 9 pm. $10 advance, $12 day of show. 21+.

Punch Brothers, Gabriel Kahane

[FoLK MEEtS cLASSIcAL] Gabriel Kahane was born into classical music royalty—his dad, Jeffrey, is a famous classical pianist and orchestra conductor—and the Brooklyn singer-songwriter’s observational songs often incorporate classical influences and ambition, beginning with his uproarious Craigslistlieder. His set includes songs from last year’s staged music theater work and album The Ambassador, a “musical investigation” of his Los Angeles birthplace in which Kahane used 10 of its famous buildings— including the old hotel of the title, Griffith Park observatory, Union Station and a liquor store—as springboards for poignant ballads replete with references to Blade Runner and earlier film noir. A terrific pianist, Kahane makes an ideal opener for nickel creek mandolin master chris thile’s crack Punch Brothers band, which also combines classical elements with pop influences. their new t-Bone

Burnett-produced album, The Phosphorescent Blues, sprinkles a couple of classical covers (Debussy, Scriabin) amid original songs that often veer far afield from their bluegrass and folk bases. BREtt cAMPBELL. Roseland Theater, 8 NW 6th Ave., 224-2038. 8 pm . $25. All ages.

SATURDAY, MARCH 28 Joe Pug, Field Report

[SoULFUL FoLK] In his music, Joe Pug transmits a bit more anguish than your typical 30-year-old texas transplant. He spent some time reeling from the grassroots success of his first two albums, both built on his gift for narrative storytelling and naked wordplay, only to find himself shifting gears with recent release Windfall. His pain is evident throughout the album, highlighting songs that paint a portrait of the rural South much like Springsteen’s Nebraska did more than 30 years ago. But his voice is also more at the forefront than the Boss’, and even through the overcast pall, it rings with subtle optimism over sleepy acoustic guitar and thematic mellotron courtesy of Wilco’s

cont. on page 28



The Velvet Teen, Slow Bird, Hot Victory

[A.D.D. PoWER PoP] It’s difficult to find a thread of consistency that ties together Judah nagler’s work as the Velvet teen. After the outsized anthems of his 2002 breakthrough Out of the Fierce Parade came 2006’s Cum Laude, a fierce departure that was mostly sputtering drum machines and lo-fi electronic instrumentation. All that leaves a large question mark regarding what nagler might have in store on the forthcoming All Is Illusory. that the record is being released on venerable “emo revival” clearinghouse topshelf confirms it’s likely to be dense with the shout-along hooks that made nagler a go-to opener for math-rock mainstay Minus the Bear, which is as business as usual as it can get for the Velvet teen. PEtE cottELL. Bunk Bar, 1028 SE Water Ave., 894-9708. 10 pm. $10. 21+.

Marmozets, Wild Throne, Divides

[MEtH RocK] Leave aside the dizzying time signatures, fretwork fractals, and adventures in dynamics—the Marmozets advertise their appeal cleanly enough by the title (shouted, tunefully, over buoyant choruses) of epic 2013 second single “Born Young and Free.” comprised of two sets of West Yorkshire siblings, some still in their teens, the quintet formed around 2011 and last fall released their wildly ambitious debut, The Weird and Wonderful Marmozets. If the daunting musicianship behind their punk-metal anthems cedes the spotlight, credit the arena-sized vocals and asylum-styled stagecraft of aggro chanteuse Becca MacIntyre. JAY HoRton. Hawthorne Theatre, 1507 SE Cesar E. Chavez Blvd., 233-7100. 7 pm. $10 advance, $13 day of show. All ages.

Matthew E. White, Wilsen, Chanti Darling

[SoFt AnD DEEP] Matthew E. White is a little ridiculous. He sings in a voice that’s simultaneously soft and deep over orchestral arrangements and groovy beats. He alternates between looking like a woodsman, in button-down shirts, a full beard and long brown hair, and, on the cover of his sophomore album, Fresh Blood, some kind of suburban Liberace parody. But none of that makes his music


Willamette Week MARCH 25, 2015

Marilyn Manson, Deap Vally [AMERICAN HORROR STORY] In 2001, The Onion published an article with the headline, “Marilyn Manson Now Going DoorTo-Door Trying To Shock People.” The conceit was that, with Eminem having usurped him as the country’s pre-eminent cultural menace, the former Brian Warner had taken to touring suburbia, appearing on front lawns draped in sheep entrails and wearing a suit of human noses, in a pathetic attempt to continue scandalizing Middle America. It was a hilarious bit of satire. But for Manson, that’s basically how the last decade has played out. Though he and his band have continued treading on past heresies, playing for a dwindling audience of aging goths and nu-metal castaways, he is no longer anyone’s nightmare—not when mutilation and sacrilege are now standard basic-cable fodder. One would think the only conversation to have about Marilyn Manson in 2015 would go something like, “Oh, the guy who wore those prosthetic breasts in that one video and used to rip up the Bible onstage? I think he’s working at the bird museum off I-5 now.” But Manson, it turns out, had at least one more true shock left in him: His new album, The Pale Emperor, might be the best thing he’s ever done. Abandoning outmoded industrial-metal for a kind of grimy blues-rock, it’s the first Manson product in years that gets by on more than just force of personality. Sure, he declares himself “The Mephistopheles of Los Angeles” at one point, but much of the record is a dissection of the Manson persona and the ravages it’s waged on the real person. It’s the closest we’ve ever come to a “Brian Warner album.” And at a time when all you have to do is flip the channel to find someone slathered in entrails, watching an old boogeyman remove his makeup is a far more frightening sight. MATTHEW SINGER. Roseland Theater, 8 NW 6th Ave., 971-230-0033. 8 pm Wednesday. March 25. 8 pm. Sold out. 21+.

Willamette Week MARCH 25, 2015




Pat Sansone. BRANDON WIDDER. Aladdin Theater, 3017 SE Milwaukie Ave., 234-9694. 8 pm. $13 advance, $15 day of show. 21+.

Moon Duo, Death Songs, Blesst Chest


Thursday, March 26th @ 6PM Buxton’s new album, Half A Native, signals a departure from the rustic sound they have become known for and adds elements of indie rock, psychedelia, honkytonk, ambience and distortion, resulting in their most realized album to date.


Friday, March 27th @ 6PM

Royal Blue, the second album by East Nashville firebrand Lilly Hiatt, is about the majesty of melancholyor, as she explains it, “accepting the sadder aspects of life and finding some peace in them.” A dance between pedal steel and synths, the album examines the vagaries of love and commitment but steadfastly refuses to romanticize any notion of romance.


Saturday, March 28th @ 3PM If the opening notes on Joe Pug’s new LP “Windfall” are a bit disorienting, his fans won’t likely be surprised. The Austin, TX singer songwriter has made a habit of defying expectations, and the songs on his new album are just further indication that he’s quite comfortable stepping outside of the guy-with-a-guitar trappings of the genre.


Sunday, March 29th @ 3PM

Portland, OR based “Castletown” ( Robert Richter on guitar and vocals, Olivia Duffy on fiddle, mandolin and vocals and Casey McBride on drums and percussion) derive their name from a small town in County Cork, Ireland. Their music blends the energy of traditional Irish reels with modern folk, blues, jazz and country influences.

ST. JAMES GATE Wednesday, April 1st @ 6PM

A Celtic inspired quartet offering dynamic vocals, 3-part harmonies, scorching hot fiddle, funky upright acoustic/electric bass, tight acoustic rhythm guitar, and drums, St. James’s Gate specializes in a wide range of Irish Music, including beautiful Irish ballads and waltzes, faster than lightning jigs and reels, traditional pub songs and contemporary Irish music, while also incorporating bluegrass, polka, Cajun, and classic English/American rock and folk songs.

[STEADY PSYCH] On its earliest recordings, there was only the finest line separating Moon Duo from Ripley Johnson’s betterestablished act, Wooden Shjips. The last six years, though, have seen the similarities drift away, with Moon Duo sidling closer and closer to skewed shamanic pop. Now a misnamed trio with the addition of drummer John Jeffrey, the surprisingly accessible Shadow of the Sun finds Johnson and keyboardist Senae Yamada taking on a synthetic ’80s vibe. As Johnson continues to helm two increasingly different acts, both of which have inarguably softened over time, his ability to discover and exploit nuanced variations of what’s come before in his catalog is going to define his stasis or success, and Shadow points to it being the latter. DAVE CANTOR. Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., 288-3895. 9 pm. $12 advance, $14 day of show. 21+.

Jason Burns

[HOUSE] Slowly but surely, Jason Burns has been working his way into your favorite DJs’ mixes. Skream, Toddla T and Cyril Hahn have all given the prolific Portlander a hat tip. There’s a lot to choose from: Burns drops an official remix or an original— often collaborations with a laundry list of international producers— every few weeks. Mostly sticking to house, Burns has ventured into garage and pop, but always keeps it dark and soulful. “Lightweight,” a collab with vocalist Sarah Winters, is somehow both uplifting and a real tearjerker. MITCH LILLIE. The Liquor Store, 3341 SE Belmont St., 421-4483. 9 pm. $5 before 11 pm, $8 after. 21+.

G. Green, the Wimps, Landlines, Bricks

[THAT DUNEDIN SOUND] Sacramento, Calif., is a long way from New Zealand, but there must be some sort of wormhole located in the garage that lazypunk quartet G. Green practices in that leads straight to Dunedin. The group’s 2014 album Area Codes zigs and zags with the same hypercatchy, loping garage rock that’s instantly familiar to fans of Flying Nun Records. Equally informed by quick-charge rockers (see the 85-second blast “Calendar Girls”) and slower, anthemic numbers like “You Don’t Like Songs,” G. Green is a band that’s easy to love and impossible to get out of your head. Don’t forget to save a few bucks for the merch table. MICHAEL MANNHEIMER. Turn! Turn! Turn!, 8 NE Killingsworth St., 284-6019. 8 pm. $5. 21+.

SUNDAY, MARCH 29 Moon Honey, Bearcubbin

[PROTO-CLASSICAL] Combining the spontaneity of jazz and the fullness of chamber pop, Moon Honey is a hard band to pin down. The Los Angeles duo is clearly influenced by the likes of St. Vincent and Dirty Projectors, offering delicate buildups only to squash them with a commanding guitar riff and explosive drum fill. Moon Honey’s latest LP, HandPainted Dream Photographs, feels like a musical gone mad. Local electro-rock experimenters Bearcubbin open. MARK STOCK. Bunk Bar, 1028 SE Water Ave., 8949708. 9 pm. $7. 21+.

Public Service Broadcasting, DoublePlusGood

[SOUNDTRACK OF OUR LIVES] When homegrown politicians talk about privatizing PBS, they only need look across the pond to see


Willamette Week MARCH 25, 2015

the marvelous work done by EDM duo Public Service Broadcasting. Where first release The War Room raided the British Film Institute’s sprawling archives for Blitz-related snippets to layer on alternately stirring and chilling electronica, latest album The Race for Space finds betweeded DJs and instrumentalists-in-residence J. Wilgoose Esq. and Wrigglesworth expanding historical reach and sonic approach to evoke the thrilling suspense of those first lunar missions through jaunty funk, Krautrock and, most poignantly, static fading to silence. One giant leap for dance-kind. JAY HORTON. Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside St., 231-9663. 9 pm. $10 advance, $12 day of show. 21+.

MONDAY, MARCH 30 Kevin Seconds, Ty Vaughn, Jake Cline, Chad Bandit

[ACOUSTIC PUNK] Kevin Seconds has ridden several waves of punk, from straight-edge hardcore, to pop punk through crusty folk punk. Through it all, Seconds has constantly reinvented himself, working alongside everyone from Elliott Smith and Bad Brains to new Blink 182 member Matt Skiba. His professed goal for 2015 is writing and recording 400 songs. So far, he’s come up with 74. Obviously, the dude is looking for inspiration, so if you’ve ever wanted to have a song written about you, this just might be your best chance to make an impression. LUCAS CHEMOTTI. Analog Cafe, 720 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 432-8079. 7 pm. $10. All ages.

Futurebirds, Jackson Boone

[COSMIC AMERICANA] For better or worse, Futurebirds has always been a live band. You might hear it in the occasional errors that pepper the reverb-soaked guitar work and loose rhythms that define the outfit’s studio recordings, particularly 2013’s Baba Yaga, which gives the Athens, Ga., band a sense of earnestness you often don’t find within more manicured recordings. The Southern midtempo rockers are baked with atmospheric touches—hypnotic bass grooves, distant lo-fi solos— and lyrics obsessed with death and the shadows of former relationships. And with five distinct songwriters, it’s simply a wonder how the woozy narrative doesn’t turn into a convoluted mess of an LP. BRANDON WIDDER. Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., 288-3895. 9 pm. $12. 21+.

Francisco The Man, Big Harp

[ASTRAL INDIE ROCK] The general consensus among West Coast music writers seems to be that Francisco the Man has something going on. The Los Angeles quartet produces a spacey type of indie rock with apparent ease, stretching power riffs this way or that into a gooey, resonating abyss. It’s a sound that resides somewhere between Band of Horses and Deerhunter—not bad for such a young act. It took the band seven years to produce LP Loose Ends, but the wait was not for naught. And the fact that frontman Scotty Cantino sounds a little like Perry Farrell when he’s really wailing only strengthens Francisco The Man’s cause. MARK STOCK. Star Theater, 13 NW 6th Ave., 248-4700. 9 pm. $10. 21+.

TUESDAY, MARCH 31 Jeff the Brotherhood, Bully

[ARENA HESHERS] It’s never been entirely clear if Jeff the Brotherhood’s love affair with late-’70s hesher rock has been a sincere endeavor or a total put-on. It certainly doesn’t help when the flute solo that springs up about 40 seconds into “Black Cherry Pie,” the first single from the upcoming Wasted on the Dream, feels more like a thoughtful effort to

TUESDAY/CLASSICAL, ETC. rock as hard as humanly possible rather than a back-handed satire of the bloated dinosaurs to which the duo’s blistering, fuzzed-out postpunk serves as both homage and parody. At this point in the game, Jeff the Brotherhood has worn far too many pieces of the classic-rock costume to still deserve the pretense of being Jack White’s hand-selected solution to whatever the hell Weezer has been doing for the past decade. PETE COTTELL. Bunk Bar, 1028 SE Water Ave., 894-9708. 9:30 pm. $8. 21+.

Marcello and more—including selections from Stravinsky’s neo-baroque Pulcinella ballet. BRETT CAMPBELL. First Baptist Church, 909 SW 11th Ave. 7:30 pm Friday-Saturday, March 27-28. $20-$59. All ages.

The Alan Jones Sextet

[NEW LOCAL JAZZ] Six of Portland’s finest instrumental storytellers take the stage, performing intimate scenes with spine-tingling musical honesty. At times, drummer-bandleader Alan Jones leads his young band to the highest energy precipices of swing, at others down into a peaceful valley of calm, melodic, ballads. His handpicked ensemble—which features Greg Goebel on piano, Charlie Porter on trumpet, John Nastos on alto, Nicole Glover on tenor and John Lakey on bass—is perhaps the finest medium-sized group of jazz musicians in Portland, outside of Mel Brown’s sextet. Tonight, they release Storyline, Jones’ debut record with this revamped band. PARKER HALL. Jimmy Mak’s, 221 NW 10th Ave., 295-6542. 8 pm Friday, March 27. $15. Under 21 permitted until 9:30 pm.

Guster, Kishi Bashi

[POP ROCK] I submit that Guster is the new Grateful Dead. I know, I know—Phish is already the “new” Dead, but these guys have the fan interaction, the environmentally conscious outlook and fun-ass tunes that make you wanna drop the conventional world and follow them around. How many bands can get the crowd dancing and singing along to every word? Guster’s new one, Evermore, secures their place as one of the most dynamic contemporary bands, and it comes free with every ticket for this gig. CRIS LANKENAU. Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside St., 225-0047. 8 pm. $25. All ages.

The Patrick Lamb Band

[SAXY SOUL] Portland’s best gelheaded multisaxophonist, Patrick Lamb, puts his Tower of Powerinspired group through the paces, using the virtuosity of his band in a tasteful quest to find a mellow dancing energy beneath funky soul classics. In a relatively small

[METAPHYSICAL METAL] Dixie Dave’s strangled screams accompany Weedeater’s dirges almost perfectly. The guitarist’s time in Buzzoven, an earlier Southern sludge troupe, conditioned the frontman for everything he’s been up to since the late ’90s. Despite being around for almost 20 years, though, Weedeater’s only issued a handful of albums, the last in 2011. The band’s catalog has recently been reissued ahead of a possible fifth disc. But last year, Weedeater recorded a split in cooperation with Scion. “Hot Donuts Now,” as the title should indicate, gets a bit weird with Dave yowling about the metaphysics of the doughy treat. DAVE CANTOR. Dante’s, 350 W Burnside St., 2266630. 8 pm. $13. 21+.

Cherry Glazerr, Summer Cannibals, Sunflower Beam, the Buttertones, Underpass

[GARAGE] Cherry Glazerr’s psychedelic take on pop has enough personality to stand up to any garage-rock anti-revivalist. Burger Records’ trendiest young band isn’t exactly poetic—latest album Haxel Princess’ first single, “Grilled Cheese,” wanders mindlessly—but you can’t accuse the band of not having a serious sense of self. For two songwriters under the age of 18, that’s about as much as you can ask for. LUCAS CHEMOTTI. Star Theater, 13 NW 6th Ave. 8 pm. $10. All ages.

Future Death, Boyfrndz, U SCO

[EXPERIMENTAL PUNK] Future Death claims to be from Austin, but anybody who’s heard the band’s raucously busy, paranormal sound would figure it’s from another planet. Listening to the four-piece is a bit like watching a Japanese game show. It’s disorienting, complex, exhausting and captivating. And while the psych-punk purveyors often stray into the esoteric, every track dangles melodies for the listener to grab onto. Take hold and enjoy the blistering ride, and you’ll probably end up somewhere you never expected. MARK STOCK. The Know, 2026 NE Alberta St., 4738729. 9 pm. Call venue for ticket information. 21+.

CLASSICAL, JAZZ & WORLD Portland Baroque Orchestra

[VENETIAN REFLECTIONS] Portland Baroque Orchestra superstar oboist Gonzalo Ruiz calls his instrument “the electric guitar of the 18th century,” and in his hands, it can sure shred. Ruiz, a scholar-performer who also teaches at Juilliard, directs PBO in oboe-centric, Venice-inspired music (including some of his own arrangements) by Handel, Campra,


Weedeater, King Parrot, Drunk Dad


room like Jimmy Mak’s, the large ensemble, which is accustomed to bigger stages such as those at the Governor’s Ball and the Waterfront Blues Festival, should really have the house on its feet—the perfect setting to see some of Portland’s best soulsters. PARKER HALL. Jimmy Mak’s, 221 NW 10th Ave., 295-6542. 8 pm Saturday, March 28. $12 advance, $15 day of show. Under 21 permitted until 9:30 pm.

The Kora Band

[JAZZ GOES TO AFRICA] Jazz pianist Andrew Oliver returns to his hometown from his new London home, accompanied by his quintet featuring kora player Kane Mathis, one of America’s finest players of the 21-string traditional West African harp that gives the Kora Band its name. They’ll play music from their upcoming third album, New Cities, a breezily bountiful collection of new tunes built on foundations of traditional West African Mandinka music and adds elements from Mali, Guinea, Ghana and the Caribbean (which trace back to Africa) and jazz improvisation. Portland’s own excellent Trio Subtonic opens. BRETT CAMPBELL. Secret Society Ballroom, 116 NE Russell St. 9 pm Saturday, March 28. $10. 21+.

For more Music listings, visit


A little over a year ago, rapper Hanif Collins left Portland as Luck-One. Now, he’s coming back as Hanif. Or rather, HANiF.—please write the period. Once the self-proclaimed “King of the Northwest,” Collins felt he’d gone as far up the local totem pole as he cared to go, and decided to try his “luck,” so to speak, in the cradle of hip-hop culture, New York City. So far, he’s done pretty well for himself. He’s pressed flesh with Kanye West. He’s appeared on iconic rap radio station Hot 97. He’s dropped an EP. And he’s currently on tour with the legendary Pete Rock, bringing him back to the land he once ruled over, at least for a night. On the eve of his return engagement, we chatted with the always-outspoken MC about his name change, meeting Yeezus, the Eric Garner protests and whether he’d ever consider returning to the Northwest for good. Here, Collins offers his advice for rappers still sticking it out in Stumptown. You can read the full Q&A at MATTHEW SINGER. “I can only speak on what works for me. I’m not going to act like there’s a formula for this or I’ve got all the answers. I’m as clueless as most of these dudes out here. People look at me like I’m supposed to be some rapper in the game. They don’t know, man. They see the Instagram photos and think I’m living the rap life. We’re really just scraping by. So any advice I can give an artist is one, follow your heart. Make music that means something to you, and make sure you’re in it for the right reasons, because this game will eat you alive if you’re not. And two, just use intelligence and calculate your moves as much as you can. Put some forethought into what you’re doing, and look at the rappers who are doing what you want to do—not the rappers you’re competing with in Portland, Ore. In Portland, it becomes a huge circle jerk. I’ve spoken on all this before. Everybody’s trying to compete with everybody when you’re all on the same team. Everyone’s trying to one-up everyone else, and nobody even knows who any of us are. So it’s one of those things where, if you believe in what you’re doing, and you keep doing it, someone’s gonna mess with you. I’m a testament to that. But I don’t have the answers.” SEE IT: HANiF. plays Hawthorne Theatre, 1507 SE Cesar E. Chavez Blvd., with Pete Rock, Slum Village, DJ Wels and Tope, on Tuesday, March 31. 7 pm. $18 advance, $20 day of show. All ages. Willamette Week MARCH 25, 2015


MUSIC CALENDAR = WW Pick. highly recommended. Editor: Mitch Lillie. TO HAVE YOUR EVENT LISTED, send show information at least two weeks in advance on the web at Press kits, CDs and especially vinyl can be sent to Music Desk, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Please include show or release date information with all physical mailings. Email:

[MARCH 25-31] White eagle Saloon

The Firkin Tavern

Wilf’s restaurant & Bar

The Know

836 N Russell St. Rich Layton and the Troublemakers

For more listings, check out

800 NW 6th Ave. Pete Petersen Band


Wonder Ballroom


128 NE Russell St. of Montreal

Fri. March 27 al’s den

303 SW 12th Ave. Caleb Caudle

aladdin Theater

3017 SE Milwaukie Ave. Iris Dement

alberta Street Pub

1036 NE Alberta St The Student Loan Stringband, Ben Hunter & Joe Seamons, Timberbound

alhambra Theatre

4811 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Steve Taylor and the Perfect Foil

Blue diamond

2016 NE Sandy Blvd. Michael Osborn and the Drivers


320 SE 2nd Ave. Eprom, Akka, James Zoo, Torus & Danny Corn

Bunk Bar

1028 SE Water Ave. The Velvet Teen

TAKE ME TO CHURCH: There’s no such thing as a tepid Kristin Hersh fan, so it was appropriate for her to be playing to more than a dozen crowded pews March 22 at the Old Church. Armed with only a semi-hollow-body Gibson, she alternated between songs from her solo catalog as well as that of Throwing Muses, the influential ’90s indie act she cofounded with her stepsister, Tanya Donelly, while still in her teens, and also read excerpts from her 2010 memoir, Rat Girl. It was the latter that provided many of the evening’s high points, as Hersh imbued even the darker details of her biography—her struggles with bipolar disorder and multiple near-death experiences—with candid humor. She frequently improvised off-page anecdotes throughout her set, much to the delight of the small crowd. Had it been a typical venue for a somewhat muted rock show, the audience behavior could have been categorized as tame. But for an off-label, late-Sunday mass, the devotion was religious. CRIS LANKENAU. See the full review at Wed. March 25 al’s den

303 SW 12th Ave. Caleb Caudle

aladdin Theater

3017 SE Milwaukie Ave. Colin Hay, Chris Tapper

alberta rose Theatre

3000 NE Alberta St. Divaville Farewell Concert

ash Street Saloon 225 SW Ash St. Mini and the Bear, Ethereal Sea


350 W Burnside St Soft White Sixties

doug Fir Lounge

830 E Burnside St. Tim Barry, Jenny Owen Youngs, Cory Branan

duff’s Garage

2530 NE 82nd Ave Blues Jam, Arthur Moore’s Harmonica Party

Jimmy Mak’s

221 NW 10th Ave. The Christopher Brown Quartet, Mel Brown Quartet

LaurelThirst Public house

2958 NE Glisan St. Slow Motion Cowboy, Serious Sam Barrett, James the Fang (9 pm); Love Gigantic (6 pm)

Mississippi Studios

3939 N Mississippi Ave. Little Wings, With Child

roseland Theater

8 NW 6th Ave. Marilyn Manson, Deep Valley

The Know

2026 NE Alberta St. Mona Reels, Hooded Hags, Feel Young

Vie de Boheme 1530 SE 7th Ave. Gypsy Jazz Jam

Thu. March 26 al’s den

303 SW 12th Ave. Caleb Caudle

aladdin Theater

3017 SE Milwaukie Ave. Nerds and Music: A Night with Joel Hodgson, Pat Rothfuss and Paul & Storm

alberta rose Theatre 3000 NE Alberta St. Johnny A. and Bob Malone

alhambra Theatre

4811 SE Hawthorne Blvd. From Indian Lakes, The Soil and The Sun, Lemolo

Bunk Bar

1028 SE Water Ave. The Martha’s Vineyard Ferries, Hungry Ghost

crystal Ballroom

1332 W Burnside Street Yonder Mountain String Band


White eagle Saloon


Wilf’s restaurant & Bar

350 West Burnside Jack Parker, Chris Margolin, Marcus Logan Glaze, Travis Williams

Wonder Ballroom

830 E Burnside St. !!! (Chk Chk Chk)

1800 E Burnside St. Cellotronik 2126 SW Halsey St. Scott Gallegos

hawthorne Theatre

1507 SE 39th Ave. Skizzy Mars, Swizzymack, Prelow


836 N Russell St. Reverb Brothers

800 NW 6th Ave. Ron Steen Band

128 NE Russell St. Dan + Shay, Canaan Smith

Willamette Week MARCH 25, 2015


doug Fir Lounge

Jimmy Mak’s

221 NW 10th Ave. Mel Brown B3 Organ Group

LaurelThirst Public house 2958 NE Glisan St. Joe McMurrian (9:30 pm); Big E and the Stomp (6 pm)

Mississippi Studios

3939 N Mississippi Ave. Craft Spells

Plews Brews

8409 N. Lombard St. Richard Colvin and the Standard Keys

roseland Theater

8 NW 6th Ave. Bone Thugs-N-Harmony, Joey Fattsand A$ton Matthews

Star Theater

13 NW 6th Ave. Jarabe de Palo, Falling Doves

The GoodFoot Lounge 2845 SE Stark St. DoveDriver

The Know

crystal Ballroom

1332 W Burnside Street An evening with Seth Avett and Jessica Lea Mayfield


350 W Burnside St The Last Bison, Neulore & Jeffrey Martin

doug Fir Lounge

830 E Burnside St. Kitty, Daisy & Lewis, Gemma Ray


2126 SW Halsey St. John Bunzow

First Baptist church 909 SW 11th Ave Portland Baroque Orchestra

habesha Lounge

801 NE Broadway St. Timmy Terror & the Winter Coats, Feat. Sister Mamie Foreskin, Gooo, and Hairy Food

hawthorne Theatre

1507 SE 39th Ave. Marmozets, Wild Throne

hawthorne Theatre Lounge

1503 SE Cesar E Chavez Blvd. Dr. Luna, Robert Wynia & Peter Cornett, Headswell, Jordan Biggs

Jimmy Mak’s

221 NW 10th Ave. The Alan Jones 6Tet, CD Release Show

LaurelThirst Public house

2958 NE Glisan St. Counterfeit Cash, Old Flames

Mississippi Studios

2026 NE Alberta St. Marriage & Cancer, Health Problems

3939 N Mississippi Ave. Matthew E. White

The Muddy rudder Public house

10350 N Vancouver Way Country Wide

8105 SE 7th Ave. Fern Hill

The Secret Society

116 NE Russell St. Anita Margarita and the RattleSnakes, Doug & Dee’s Hot Lovin’ Jazz Babies

1937 SE 11th Ave. Bubble Cats, Kidd Mud, Young Elk 2026 NE Alberta St. The Mama Rags, Paradise, The Hauer Things

The Secret Society 116 NE Russell St. Pete Krebs and his Portland Playboys

The Tonic Lounge

3100 NE Sandy Blvd. Arachnid & Cemetery, Chemical Warfare, Gladius, Headless Pez, Maniak, Sabateur

White eagle Saloon 836 N Russell St. Pete RG, The Cabin Project

Wilf’s restaurant & Bar 800 NW 6th Ave. Tony Pacini Trio

Wonder Ballroom

128 NE Russell St. The Mowgli’s, FENCES, Hippo Campus

SaT. March 28 aladdin Theater

3017 SE Milwaukie Ave. Joe Pug

alhambra Theatre

4811 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Dirty Revival, Staxx Brothers, Naomi T

artichoke Music

3130 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Pea Flamenca de Portland

Bunk Bar

1028 SE Water Ave. Survival Knife, Eight Bells


350 West Burnside The Slants, the Shrike, Akkadia

doug Fir Lounge

830 E Burnside St. Bart Hafeman & Berahmand, Laura Ivancie

duff’s Garage

2530 NE 82nd Ave Joey McKenzie, James Mason, Gavin Kelso


2126 SW Halsey St. Moody Little Sister

First Baptist church 909 SW 11th Ave Portland Baroque Orchestra

First christian church Portland 1314 SW Park Avenue Ayre and Ground, Chamber Music from Baroque England

hawthorne Theatre Lounge

1503 SE Cesar E Chavez Blvd. Allegaeon, Product Of Hate


The Know

Jimmy Mak’s

1937 SE 11th Ave. Folkslinger, Matt Buetow, Jake Capistran 2026 NE Alberta St. Low Culture, Needles// Pins

The Secret Society

221 NW 10th Ave. The Patrick Lamb Band

The Tonic Lounge

8 NW 6th Ave LEX

3100 NE Sandy Blvd. Coven & Dead Conspiracy, Magna Bolt, Spawn, Ritual Healing

Turn! Turn! Turn!

8 NE Killingsworth St. G. Green, Wimps Landlines, Bricks

White eagle Saloon

836 N Russell St. The Hugs, Giant Bug Village, Human Shaped Earth

Wonder Ballroom 128 NE Russell St. Metalachi

Sun. March 29 al’s den

303 SW 12th Ave. Sarah Jane Scouten

Bunk Bar

1028 SE Water Ave. Moon Honey, Bearcubbin

doug Fir Lounge

830 E Burnside St. Public Service Broadcasting, DoublePlusGood

duff’s Garage

2530 NE 82nd Ave The Rhythm Renegades


2126 SW Halsey St. Robert Sarazin Blake

LaurelThirst Public house

2958 NE Glisan St. Jimmy Boyer Band, Pete Krebs and the Earnest Lovers, Lynn Conover & Little Sue


600 E. Burnside St. Pearles

roseland Theater

8 NW 6th Ave. At The Gates, Converge

The Know

2026 NE Alberta St. Cool Ghouls, Mope Grooves

The ranger Station PdX

4260 SE Hawthorne Blvd Hot Club Time Machine & Guests

The Tonic Lounge

3100 NE Sandy Blvd. Sleeze, Vulture Locust, Mouthbreather, 86’D

White eagle Saloon 836 N Russell St. Rob Johnston

Mon. March 30 al’s den

LaurelThirst Public house

alhambra Theatre

Ponderosa Lounge

roseland Theater

3939 N Mississippi Ave. Moon Duo

Mississippi Studios

8 NW 6th Ave. Punch Brothers, Gabriel Kahane

Peter’s room

Star Theater

Ponderosa Lounge

8 NW 6th Ave Mark Battles, Derek Luh 10350 N Vancouver Way Britnee Kellogg

221 NW 10th Ave. Mel Brown Septet, Willamette University Jazz Combo

Mississippi Studios

Kells Brewpub

210 NW 21st Ave. Sami Live

2126 SW Halsey St. Groovy Wallpaper with Rob Wynia

116 NE Russell St. The Kora Band, Trio Subtonic, The Jenny Finn Orchestra

Jimmy Mak’s

2958 NE Glisan St. Jimmy Boyer Band, The Yellers

13 NW 6th Ave. GoldFoot EP Release, Neon Culpa, Cupcake

The Firkin Tavern

303 SW 12th Ave. Sarah Jane Scouten 4811 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Spaceface, Animal Eyes, Talkative

analog cafe & Theater 720 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Kevin Seconds

Blue diamond

2016 NE Sandy Blvd. Hot Tea Cold

doug Fir Lounge 830 E Burnside St. Oh Honey, PUBLIC

3939 N Mississippi Ave. Futurebirds

Peter’s room

Star Theater

13 NW 6th Ave. Francisco The Man

The GoodFoot Lounge 2845 SE Stark St. Sonic Forum Open Mic Night

The Know

2026 NE Alberta St. Tope, Tanya Morgan, Corina Corina, DJ Northern Draw

The Muddy rudder Public house 8105 SE 7th Ave. Lloyd Jones

The Tonic Lounge

3100 NE Sandy Blvd. Legion of Death & Scalafrea, Hyborian Rage, Trojan Swamp Monster

Tue. March 31 al’s den

303 SW 12th Ave. Sarah Jane Scouten

alhambra Theatre

4811 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Bastard Suns, Bumpin Uglies, The Sindicate

Blue diamond

2016 NE Sandy Blvd. A.C. Porter and Special Guests, Blue Tuesday

Bunk Bar

1028 SE Water Ave. Jeff the Brotherhood, Bully

crystal Ballroom

1332 W Burnside Street Guster, Kishi Bashi


350 W Burnside St Weedeater, King Parrot

doug Fir Lounge

830 E Burnside St. Whitehorse, The Wet Secrets

duff’s Garage

2530 NE 82nd Ave Jawbone Flats


2126 SW Halsey St. Robert Sarazin Blake

hawthorne Theatre

1507 SE 39th Ave. Pete Rock, Slum Village, HANiF (formerly LuckOne), DJ Wels, Tope

Jimmy Mak’s

221 NW 10th Ave. Alex Koehler

Lola’s room

1332 W Burnside Punk Rock Mondays

Mississippi Studios

3939 N Mississippi Ave. PWRHAUS, Fur Coats, Mattress

Star Theater

13 NW 6th Ave. Cherry Glazerr, Summer Cannibals, Sunflower Bean, The Buttertones & Underpass

The GoodFoot Lounge 2845 SE Stark St. Radula

The Know

2026 NE Alberta St. Future Death, Boyfrndz, U Sco

march 25-31



Where to drink this week. 1. charlie horse Saloon

637 SE Morrison St. Portland’s weirdest and most makeshift bar—Sway Bar—has just become a fine facsimile of an old West saloon, with your bachelor dad’s floor-toceiling paneling, cheap drinks and more taxidermy than the Bates Motel.

2. The Standard

14 NE 22nd St., 233-4181. the unofficial winner of our cheap life issue, the Standard offers $2 craft brews on Sundays (including Buoy, Barley Brown’s and our beer of the year, Upright engelberg Pilsner), plus $1 Hamms on Wednesdays. not to mention both The Walking Dead and Breaking Bad pinball. Mazel.

3. Black Water

835 NE Broadway, 546-1682. fast on the heels of Slabtown’s closure, punk-metal Black Water is already worshipping at the altar of seitan, throwing together sold-out rock shows, saucy vegan cheesesteaks and occasional tarantino marathons.

4. Lompoc Tavern

1620 NW 23rd Ave, 894-9374, everybody’s eerily quiet about this, but lompoc Brewing makes a new iPA—like, a whole new kind of iPA—pretty much every week. And some of them are pretty damn good. And on Monday, it’s only $2.50.

5. The Liquor Store

3341 SE Belmont St., 421-4483, With old papers, old records, a basement dance club, a seamless horseshoe of a bar and housemade blue curaçao memorializing its predecessor, the Blue Monk, this bar is off to a hell of a good start.

OLD, NOT DIRTY VEGAS: Alberta’s new Donnie Vegas (1203 NE Alberta St., isn’t the Vegas that stays in Vegas. It is the Vegas that endures in Sammy Davis Jr. films and faded memory, right down to the wall-hung 1959 “Welcome to Las Vegas” sign that has been remade to say “Donnie Vegas,” and muddy pink flamingos slumping sullenly against a fence on the spacious back patio. But the Vegas theme at the tiny, blackpainted space that once held Black Cat and Legend is subdued, like most of the memories—mainly just plush red booths, some horseshoes and, for whatever reason, Bruce Lee fighting Mike Tyson. That puts the focus on the pre-made, kegged cocktails, which pour out of the taps. The Dude ($7) is a spiced-up, carbonated white Russian (“another Caucasian, Gary”) made with cold-brew Stumptown, and it’s one of the best renditions I’ve had. The Flanders ($8) doesn’t come from Belgium; it’s a white wine spritzer just like Ned drinks, albeit classed up with Italian bitter liqueur. A shot of houseblended amaro with a short craft beer—only two on tap—runs $6, and a happy-hour Moscow Mule is a fiver. And the food’s all hot dogs. Not sausage. Not stuffed with peanuts or whatever. Just classic hot dogs, red and thin, and all $4, whether comfortable in classic kraut and mustard, dressed up as a banh mi, or smothered in harissa-lemon relish. Donnie Vegas is something Alberta Street desperately needs, a midrange hangout where nobody is likely to look like Steve Zahn or Vince Vaughn. MATTHEW KORFHAGE.

Gran Ritmos: Chaach, Michael Bruce, Coast2c

SaT. March 28 analog cafe & Theater

Wed. March 25 Ground Kontrol classic arcade 511 NW Couch St. TRONix

The Whiskey Bar

31 NW 1st Ave Nina Las Vegas, with Anna Langley & Drexler

Thu. March 26 holocene

1001 SE Morrison St. Main Squeeze: Dylan Stark, DJ Slim Jim, DJs Kiffo & Rymes

Fri. March 27 dig a Pony


1800 E Burnside St. DJ Gregarious


1001 SE Morrison St. SNAP! ‘90S Dance Party, Dr. Adam, Colin Jones, Freaky Outty

Lola’s room

1332 W Burnside 80s Video Dance Attack

Lovecraft Bar

421 SE Grand Ave Turnt Up with DJ Pavone


315 SE 3rd Ave. The Cockpit: DJ Spun, Scottie Soul, Art of Hot, Tao & Tracy Bleeke

The GoodFoot Lounge

736 Southeast Grand Ave.

2845 SE Stark St. Soul Stew: DJ Aquaman

Cooky Parker


232 SW Ankeny St.

The Whiskey Bar 31 NW 1st Ave Max Graham

Sun. March 29

720 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Andaz: DJ Anjali & The Incredible Kid



The GoodFoot Lounge

2338 NE Alberta St. Vinylogy

dig a Pony

736 Southeast Grand Ave. Freaky Outty


1001 SE Morrison St. Quantic, DJ Vadim

roseland Theater

8 NW 6th Ave. Datsik, Etc! Etc! & Truth


315 SE 3rd Ave. Blow Pony: Katey Red & Raja Gemini

Star Theater

13 NW 6th Ave. Random Rab, SaQi

The Liquor Store

19 SW 2nd Ave. Future Bass 2845 SE Stark St. MOM (Motown on Mondays) on Sunday

Mon. March 30 The Lovecraft

421 SE Grand Ave. Departures, DJ Waisted and Friends

Tue. March 31 rotture

315 SE 3rd Ave. Heavy Tuesdays

The Lodge Bar & Grill 6605 SE Powell Blvd. DJ Easy Finger

3341 SE Belmont St. Jason Burns

Willamette Week MARCH 25, 2015



Willamette Week MARCH 25, 2015

march 25–31 REVIEW

= WW Pick. Highly recommended.



Most prices listed are for advance ticket sales. At-the-door increases and so-called convenience charges may apply, so it’s best to call ahead. Editor: ENID SPITZ. Theater: ENID SPITZ ( Dance: KAITIE TODD ( TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, submit information at least two weeks in advance to:


The ultimate bohemian newlyweds, 20-something yoga instructor Abby and Doctor Without Borders Zack, nest romantically in...Paris of all places, for the Portland premier of Amy Herzog’s “pseudo-thriller.” When Abby walks in on Zack, pantsless with porn playing, the rose colored glasses come off too. Turns out even people you love leave toenail clippings in the sink. Third Rail company members Isaac Lamb and Rebecca Lingafelter stage the perfect couple’s devolution far beyond leaving the seat up to the realm of “who the hell is this person I married?” CoHo Theater, 2257 NW Raleigh St, 220-2646. 7:30 pm Wednesdays-Saturdays, 2 pm Sundays; March 27 through April 18. $29.

Flour, Salt and Moonbeams

Portland ’s Hungry Opera Club tells the story of a single-trick chef who only makes tortillas and a one-track patron obsessed with corned beef. We all know what happens when you anger hungry people. Opera illdefines this gypsy jazz-comic opera mashup with live music, libretto and slapstick gags. Director Annie Rosen has a background in clownery and is well-equipped to put a comedic spin on Portland musician Eric Stern’s original compositions. Alberta Rose Theatre, 3000 NE Alberta St., 7196055. 8 pm Friday-Saturday, March 27-28. $25.

People’s Republic of Portland

Think Portlandia, with a Live Wire twist and a New Yorker pace. Former Daily Show actress and East Coast comedian Lauren Weedman reunites with Portland Center Stage director Rose Riordan for a second staging of the 2013 work PCS commissioned. Last time we found it hard to forgive her misprounouncing our paper’s name and oversimplifying Portland stereotypes to make wealthy PCS patrons chuckle bemusedly. Oh Portland, you’re so eccentric. Weedman flits between bearded barista and lady-of-thenight skits at a break-neck pace, with plenty of Rose City quips. We’ll see whether the two-year-old digs got stale or if the age-old obsession with navel-gazing keeps Portland jokes at least chuckle-worthy. Gerding Theater, 128 NW 11th Ave., 445-3700. 7:30 pm Wednesdays-Saturdays, 2 pm Saturdays-Sundays through April 19. $40-$55.

Pilot Season: Punching and Wizardry

Pick one: a “cosmic horror period comedy,” 30-something gamers attempting socialization, improvised horror a la H.P. Lovecraft, improvised comedy a la Mean Girls. Audiences choose their favorite from four staged pilots over four weeks and the winner gets a full run in Action/Adventure’s next season. Last week Ben Coleman’s Punching and Wizardry mashed Greek life with geekdom. This week Joel Patrick Durham’s Nesting is an improvised thriller with original soundtrack by Andrew Bray (the “ear pencil sharpener guy” in some Oregon State Lottery commercials). Action/Adventure Theatre, 1050 SE Clinton St. 8 pm Thursday-Sunday, March 26-29. $12.

The Price

Arthur Miller’s last major work visits the dark corners of family dynamics and death as two estranged brothers literally clear the cobwebs from their late father’s estate. When they

convene in his dusty attic, preparing to sell everything to a mysterious buyer, the men discover more daddy issues than mouse droppings. Artists Rep revives the two-time Tony Award-nominated play to celebrate the 100th anniversary of Miller’s birth. Artists Repertory Theatre, 1515 SW Morrison St., 241-1278. 7:30 pm Thursdays-Saturdays, 2 and 7:30 pm Sundays through April 26. $25-$46.

Schoolhouse Rock Live

Many of us learned the nuances of grammatical English from an animated, talking scroll, smartly dubbed “Bill.” Oregon Children’s Theater takes audiences back to those simpler days with a live-action rendition of classic jingles such as “Conjunction Junction” and “Three is a Magic Number.” Need a refresher on “your” versus “you’re?” If lessons in passive voice weren’t exciting enough, ’70s-era sing-alongs make them rock. Winningstad Theatre, 1111 SW Broadway, 248-4335. 2 and 5 pm Saturdays, 11 am and 2 pm Sundays through April 26. $15-$28.

Space Time Space

Comedic duo Patrick Hilton and Daniel Hill (aka Electric Meat Parade) stretch improv into a long-form show in Portland theater company Hand2Mouth’s new production space. Newcomers Push Leg, a movementbased theater group, and rotating musical acts make this monthly experiment a multi-genre mix. The content might meander differently month-to-month, but there’s always cheap wine and beer in the back of the house. Shout House, 210 SE Madison St., Ste. 11. 8 pm Saturday, March 28. $8.

YARN: Stories

Every other month, Back Fence PDX alum Lesley Harper hosts six local personalities of varying star-power for story time, minus the carpet squares and with more expletives. This week’s monologues come from the Kurtz Project drummer Travis Kurtz, psychotherapist Kerry Cohen, an ex-editor for the Associated Press, a bartender and a middle-school teacher. Big Feelings, a band selfidentifying as country-twee-rocknarrative, headline the “musical intermission” mini-concert. Clinton Street Theater , 2522 SE Clinton St., 238-8899. 7:30 pm Monday, March 30. $9 advance, $12 at the door.

NEW REVIEWS God of Carnage

“I believe in the god of carnage. The god whose rule has been unchallenged since time immemorial,” declares Alan Raleigh (Zachary Koeller), playing your typical D-bag litigant consumed with legal terms and his cellphone in Two Rooks’ unsettling production. He and his wife have a formal sit-down with Veronica and Michael Novak (Jennifer Phillips and Talon Bigelow) when their sons tussle in a minor playground brawl. But what begins as formal niceties escalates into “a bunch of fucking Neanderthals!” in playwright Yasmina Reza’s brutal picture of human nature. Phillips’ solid performance as Veronica, the tight bun-wearing tight ass, carries the chaotic play. Playtime takes on a whole new face, with barf, rum and carnal mayhem. KATHRYN PEIFER. Lincoln Hall, Portland State University, 1620 SW Park Ave., 7253307. 7:30 pm Thursdays-Saturdays, 2 pm Sundays through March 29. $12.

TEn mInuTuES of famE: Cast and crew from 2014’s Sci-fi fest.

10-RING CIRCUS PORTLAND PLAYWRIGHTS TAKE US TO THE CIRCUS AT THE TEN MINUTE PLAY FESTIVAL. Circus extravaganzas have long been theater’s eccentric, mustachioed cousin—glitterized spectacles for audiences packing peanuts over opera specs. Monkey With a Hat On puts performance back under the big top with a circus-themed Ten Minute Play Festival this weekend. Because, “let’s face it, Portland is one big circus,” said Ollie Collins, who founded the fest in 2011. True to tradition, some Portland playwrights keep it light with “a comical, screwball, kids-show style whodunnit for adults” in The Curious Case of the Lion Tamer’s Missing Head and in Travis Avel’s Together, a conjoined-twin love story. But even bawdy Jim Rose fans couldn’t resist waxing cerebral: Clowns rejoin the normals, a bearded lady searches for moral support, and, in Cirque du Tomber, a wounded trapeze artist faces an existential free-fall. Collins wants his Monkey to serve up a variety of shows, cheap just like the rings of a big top. Hence a fiver for 10 plays from 10 playwrights, each 10 minutes long, in an extravaganza of fake beards and beasts. Though, naturally, this circus has near-vegan sensibilities. We asked the playwrights 10 questions, and according to this somewhat official WW poll: eight of 10 playwrights agree that shows with live animals are cruel and should stick to exploiting humans. CURTIS COOK and ENID SPITZ. WW: What impressive thing can you do in under 10 minutes? Stefani Varney (Going Home): Eat a dozen doughnuts…not proud of it, just sayin’. What animals should circuses have? Jacques Von Lunen (Clown Posse): We need more hamster numbers.

What important thing is missing from most circuses? Travis Abels (Together): Doors for the dressing rooms. As a toddler, I peeked through a flap to the lion tamer’s room and will never be the same. What circus staple (i.e., bearded woman, trapeze artist, elephant trainer) would you be? John Bacone (The Curious Case of the Lion Tamer’s Missing Head): Trapeze artist—I think I would be good at painting the trapezes. Ian Waite: Ringmaster, as I already have the mustache. Cirque du Soleil, Ringling Bros. or Jim Rose Circus? Ariel Jaime (Stop Motion): RuPaul’s Drag Race. If you did a sideshow act, what act would it be? Chris Rentzel (The Freak Within): The human spatula. Sam Richmann: Flip cup. There are a lot of superstitions in circus (stepping in elephant poop, whistling under the big top, wearing green). Do you have any? Kari Smit (Bearded Ladylike): No theatrical superstitions, but I used to hold my breath when crossing bridges, which I had to stop when I moved to Portland, where we cross several bridges every day. Best circus snack? Tanner Padbury (Going Home): Roasted peanuts, duh. What aspect of Portland is like a circus? Rav yn Jazper-Hawke (Cirque du Tomber): Bearded ladies, inexplicable unicycles and a sense of self-entitlement (she says lovingly). Can you summarize your play in 10 words? Ginger Clark (C.R.S.—Clown Re-Integration Services): Clowns attempting to reintegrate into “normal society” while failing hilariously. SEE IT: The Ten Minute Play Festival is at the Clinton Street Theater, 2522 SE Clinton St., 238-5588. 7 pm Friday-Sunday, March 27-29. $5.

CONT. on page 34 Willamette Week MARCH 25, 2015


march 25–31 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 232-2037. 9 pm every Sunday. Free. 21+.


Helium Open Mic

Shen Yun

Generally regarded as the best openmic night in town, Helium’s sign-ups fill quickly. Show up between 6 and 7 pm to snag some stage time. Helium Comedy Club, 1510 SE 9th Ave., 888643-8669. 8 pm every Tuesday. Free with a two-item minimum. 21+.

Hell or Highwater

Curtis Cook hosts a monthly standup showcase featuring a consistently good lineup of comedians. The High Water Mark , 6800 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., 286-6513. 9 pm every last Monday. Free. 21+.

The Liberators BELLEVILLE

ALSO PLAYING Durang Durang

Post5 Theatre collection of six one-act plays by absurdist playwright Christopher Durang, touches on grave issues but doesn’t go deep. Instead, Durang glosses over anything too serious with a heavy dose of black humor. Buckle up; things get weird. Helmed by director Sam Dinkowitz, the play enters a world where no one balks at a son kicking in his mother’s door, but a struggling married couple can’t stand up to the crazy ex-girlfriend who still insists on sharing their bed. In “A Stye in the Eye,” the unhinged and violent Jake (Cable) fears he has just beaten his wife to death. Suffering from multiple personality disorder, Jake escalates a quarrel with his imaginary brother and his brother’s lover (…and possibly sister too? We lose track) until a one-sided gunfight ensues. Ridiculous lines fly fast, and the play’s physical movements are extreme. But the ensemble cast handles absurd theater without missing a beat. Entire lines were drowned out by audience laughter at an opening-weekend performance when Pat Janowski lisped perfectly through a fallen face-lift and Phillip J. Berns awkwardly clawed across the floor toward his character’s beloved collection of cocktail stirrers. One solemn moment resurfaces throughout, however: Unconnected characters softly repeat the line, “Now, if only I was happy.” But you’re not supposed to think about the sadness, plus there’s hardly time for philosophizing between laughs. KAITIE TODD. Post5 Theatre, 1666 SE Lambert St., 971-258-8584. 7:30 pm Fridays-Sundays through March 28. $15-$20.


Jewish Adam and gentile Chris both go to a single’s mixer in search of a good Jewish girl. Instead they find each other. The two 30-yearold singles form a pact: Adam will help de-goi-ify Chris so he can win over a balebuste (excellent wife) and Chris will be Adam’s wingman. Triangle Productions stages the chaotic cultural comedy by Bryan Fogel and Sam Wolfson (Jennifer Love Hewitt starred in a 2012 film version) just in time for Passover. Mazel tov! Sanctuary at Sandy Plaza, 1785 NE Sandy Blvd., 239-5919. 7:30 pm Thursday-Sunday, 2 pm Sunday, March 12-April 4. $15-$35.

Mary Stuart

Northwest Classical Theater and Cygnet Productions pair award-winning “favorites” Luisa Sermol and Lorraine Bahr for the classic catfight between cousins that is getting surprisingly excited reviews, for a production involving petticoats. Mary Stuart faces death after threatening the crown of her cousin, Queen Elizabeth I. Expect love and cat fights in this seven-time Tony Awardnominated play by Peter Oswald, directed by Elizabeth Huffman. Shoebox Theater, 2110 SE 10th Ave., 971-244-3740. 7:30 pm ThursdaySaturday, 2 pm Sunday through March 29. $22.


Three Men on a Horse

Greeting card writer Erwin is lucky when it comes to picking horses. The catch is he can’t personally bet, hence a comedic collaboration with small-time gambler Patsy in this 1930s comedy by John Cecil Holm and Tony Award and Pulitzer Prizewinning playwright George Abbott. Lakewood Center for the Arts, 68 South State St., Lake Oswego, 6355901. 7:30 pm Thursday-Saturday, 2 pm Sunday through April 12. $32.

COMEDY & VARIETY Curious Comedy Open Mic

Curious hosts a weekly open-mic night. Sign-ups begin at 7:15, and comics get three minutes of stage time apiece. Curious Comedy, 5225 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., 4779477. 8 pm every Sunday. Free.

Curious Comedy Showdown

Curious Comedy’s improvisers duke it out, in hopes of winning audience votes and advancing to the next round of competition. Curious Comedy, 5225 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., 477-9477. 7:30 pm every Friday and Saturday. $12-$15.

Earthquake Hurricane Midnight Special

Midnight Mass, Amy Miller’s irreverent monthly show, and Kickstand’s weekly Hurricane regularly joust for the title of best comedy showcase. In an anomaly, they coincide this week and decided to combine. Pick your moniker: “Midnight Hurricane! Or Earthquake Mass! Or Midearth Massicane!” Hurricane’s regular hosts take Miller’s post for this midnight special with Aparna Nancherla, an FX regular who’s whimsical comedy is inspired by Muppets and puppets. Kickstand Comedy Space, 1969 NE 42nd Ave., 937-219-1334. Midnight Saturday, March 28. $5.

The $5 Bill

Record-store bar Turn! Turn! Turn! continues its monthly standup showcase, which costs—as you might guess—$5. Comics alternate monthly. Turn! Turn! Turn!, 8 NE Killingsworth St., 284-6019. 8 pm Wednesday, March 25. $5.

Flair: An Office Space Parody

Use all your willpower not to quote along with local director Trenton Shine’s staging of that movie everyone has seen. Wear your flair. We’re lazy, but we just might care. Yeaaaaah, so we’ll see you on Saturday. Funhouse Lounge, 2432 SE 11th Ave., 841-6734. 7 pm ThursdaySaturday through March 28. $12.

Funny Humans vs. the Wheel

If you go to enough shows around town, you start to memorize comedians’ sets. Think of this weekly show, hosted by silly duo Adam Pasi and David Mascorro, as an antidote to all that repetition: Comedians start out with a planned set, but halfway through, they have to spin a wheel to determine what comes next— crowd work, one-liners, maybe even a heckle battle. Bar of the Gods, 4801

Willamette Week MARCH 25, 2015

Like the name implies, prolific travelling comics Shelley McLendon, Tony Marcellino, Nicholas Kessler and John Breen make loose and sexy longform their mission. Ironically, much of the time they’re teaching standup structure to aspiring comics. This is their play time. Brody Theater, 16 NW Broadway, 224-2227. 7:30 pm Thursday, March 26. $16.

Minority Retort

Bright colors and bounding energy is the name of the game for Shen Yun, a New York-based dance company that focuses on classical Chinese dance and tradition. Performed in front of digitally animated sets—which project images like imperial courts and thriving villages —the show is made up of short vignettes meant to highlight Chinese history and folk dance, accompanied by a live orchestra. According to past reviews, the show is also somewhat controversial due to the political and religious points it brings up. Still, these dancers bring an intense athleticism to the classic Chinese dance moves, exhibiting high-flying jumps, flips, leaps that should still provide a wow factor. Keller Auditorium, 222 SW Clay St., 800-745-3000. 7:30 pm FridaySaturday, 2 pm Saturday-Sunday, March 27-29. $60-$180.

Talk to the Hand: Burlesque Tribute to the ’90s

The dream of the ’90s is alive in Portland in a slightly different way with this performance, which sees local burlesquers pay tribute to the decade of grunge, NSYNC, Clueless and the Jennifer Aniston haircut. Headlining dancers include Judy Patootie, Zed Phoenix, Hyacinth Lee, Vanity Thorn and Johnny Nuriel. Analog Cafe, 720 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 432-8079. 9 pm Sunday, March 29. $10. 21+.

For more Performance listings, visit




A standup show produced by Jeremy Eli and Jason Lamb that gives the spotlight to comedians of color. Tonight’s lineup includes Nathan Brannon, Katie Nguyen, Crystal Davis, Anthony Lopez and David Mascorro. Curious Comedy, 5225 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., 477-9477. 9:30 pm every fourth Friday. $7.

Naked Comedy Open Mic

The Brody hosts a thrice-weekly open-mic night. Comics get fourminute standup slots and can sign up online. Brody Theater, 16 NW Broadway, 224-2227. 9:30 pm every Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday. Free with one-item minimum purchase.

Natasha Leggero

“Looks like Audrey Hepburn, jokes like Pryor,” Amy Schumer said of her Comedy Central girl-power counterpart. Natasha might perform in satin gloves and walk the red carpet with her wig-topped Chihuahua on one hip, but she’s known for debauchery as a longtime Chelsea Lately panelist, Seth Rogen’s co-star in Neighbors and a record-breaking, pantless bull rider on Burning Love. Helium Comedy Club, 1510 SE 9th Ave., 888643-8669. 8 pm Thursday, 7:30 and 10 pm Friday-Saturday, March 26-28. $20-$25. 21+.

Open Court

Team-based, long-form improv open to audience members and performers of all stripes. Curious Comedy, 5225 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., 4779477. 7:30 pm every Thursday. $5.

Random Acts of Comedy

Curious Comedy puts on a freewheeling show that brings together sketch, standup and improv. Curious Comedy, 5225 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., 477-9477. 9:30 pm every Saturday. $7-$10.

Seven on 7

A comedy twofer in which seven improv comics play off seven standup acts from the first half, consolidating Brody Theater’s two top styles into one show. Brody Theater, 16 NW Broadway, 224-2227. 9:30 pm Friday, March 27. $8.

(Still) Surrounded By Idiots

Last year Brody Theater’s founder Tom Johnson was surrounded by idiots. Hasn’t changed, hence this self-produced follow-up that’ll try to match 2014’s sold-out success. This season Brody comics Kerry Leek and Mike Karras join the show. Brody Theater, 16 NW Broadway, 224-2227. 7:30 pm Saturdays, March 7, 14, 21 and 28. $12.

THE OTHER PLACE (PORTLAND PLAYHOUSE) Portland Playhouse is a seemingly abandoned church with a labyrinthine interior. It’s therefore a perfect home for the company’s latest production, The Other Place, Sharr White’s 2011 play about biochemical researcher-turned-pharmaceutical representative Juliana Smithton (Sharonlee McLean) and her identity crisis following dementia-like cognitive lapses. Playhouse enlivens the topic of psychological introspection, one too often drenched in the tearful treacle of boilerplate biopics, by upending the usual story arc and staging overlapping accounts instead of straight narrative. But streamlining the tale for maximum suspense eliminated a lot of emotion, too. The action opens with Smithton introducing a revolutionary Alzheimer’s treatment at a Caribbean medical conference when the appearance of a bikini-clad young woman in the crowd disrupts her concentration. Flustered, she tries to continue her jargon-laden speech. But soon a flood of memories—playful jousting with a specialist administering cognitive exams (Nikki Weaver), pleas for reconciliation with her long-estranged daughter (Weaver, again), practiced banter with the tartly exasperated husband (Duffy Epstein)—take center stage. A certain degree of confusion is expected, and the storyline only comes into focus via subtle hints in whip-smart dialogue and director Brian Weaver’s cinematic styling—projections, red flashes and metallic clangs alert audiences that the scene is changing. But the production is almost too focused on cleverness in construction, not storyline. Aside from a bittersweet denouement, each plot twist is foreshadowed so heavily that it deadens any emotions we could’ve felt when Smithton climactically arrives at “the other place.” That scene, the longest by far, seems played in slow motion. It wrestles messily with psychological identity and surrendering control, but its tug at our heartstrings feels oddly conspicuous after a play full of breakneck, ambiguous scene switches. The play might take us on an interesting journey toward “the other place,” but we never quite arrive. JAY HORTON. Playhouse plays mind games

see it: The Other Place is at Portland Playhouse, 602 NE Prescott St., 488-5822. 7:30 pm Wednesdays-Saturdays, 2 pm Sundays through April 12. $20-$36.

Nominate now for your chance to win $250, What The Festival tickets, or movie passes for a year!

Willamette Week MARCH 25, 2015



march 25–31 oWen cARey


gripping: imran Sheikh (left) and John San nicolas.

THE INVISIBLE HAND (ARTISTS REPERTORY THEATRE) Spending time with stock traders is usually about as enticing as a terrorist jail cell. But somehow director Allen Nause makes both captivating in Pulitzer Prize-winner Ayad Akhtar’s The Invisible Hand, staged by Artists Repertory Theatre and Seattle’s ACT company. Akhtar named his play for an economic theory, Adam Smith’s idea that selfishness ironically fuels overall good. But the production avoids mindnumbing number games with a provocative plot line that tries to go beyond New York Times headlines. Nick Bright (Connor Toms), an American futures trader captured by Islamic militants in Pakistan, attempts to grow a nest egg of $3 million to pay off his own $10 million ransom by playing the market. As Bright and his captor, Bashir (Imran Sheikh), grow close during his confinement, Akhtar’s play waxes more emotional than political. “Portraying Bashir as human is my first priority,” Sheikh said. “That humanity is the most important and the trickiest.” Nause, who just passed the baton of artistic director at Artists Rep to L.A. transplant Dámaso Rodriguez, had a personal agenda when casting. In Islamabad with Arts America, he directed Pakistani actors and then tried to fly them back to Portland for the sake of international collaboration, but also authenticity. The U.S. State Department did not approve, denying the actors’ work visas. But nothing seems inauthentic onstage. Portlanders Sheikh and John San Nicolas join Toms and William Ontiveros, two of the original actors from Nause’s Seattle staging with ACT. Nause said the lead from his Pakistani The Odd Couple was disappointed, “but he let go and said this was how it’s meant to be.” Serendipitously, Portland’s new Bashir (Sheikh) is Pakistani-born. Defying his religious morals, Bashir gets greedy with the adrenaline rush and cash flow from trading stocks. Within a few scenes, nightfall and infighting darken the set, the imam’s eye for expensive real estate and off-shore accounts threatening Bright’s hope of liberty or life. The play’s few faults are less fatal. Bashir’s transformation from violent guard to almost jovial counterpart feels fast; he overturns Bright’s metal bed on first appearance, but at the first signs of monetary success he’s lounging on it, tossing off his desert skullcap. And between scenes, timestamps projected onstage in typewriter font read “two days later,” “that night,” etc. This attempt at clarity instead feels more kitschy, like Law & Order’s “dun-dun” would sound. Even with its suspenseful setup, the first half sometimes drags through stocks-for-dummies scenes. Then, before your intermission pinot has time to settle, Bashir and Bright are holding hands for the final bow. But Toms on his knees, grasping at air with a silent scream, is believable, not melodramatic. And the entire cast follows suit; the white-bearded imam serenely threatens Bright’s life while thumbing prayer beads. The set captures audiences, too. Constructed like a birds-eye-view jail cell, it sucks us into its claustrophobic shell. Bright, between bouts of jerking off to Archie comics, works relentlessly for his freedom. Bashir claws his way up the militant hierarchy. And the imam shops for an opulent new home. Just as in the play’s namesake theory, each character only cares for himself. But thanks to a strong staging from Artists Rep, we care too. ENID SPITZ.

Stockholm syndrome at artists rep.


Willamette Week MARCH 25, 2015

SEE it: The Invisible Hand is at Artists Repertory Theatre, 1515 SW Alder St., 241-1278. 7:30 pm Wednesdays-Sundays and 2 pm Sundays through April 5. $25-$49.


dates here

march 25–31


Susan Seubert: The Fallacy of Hindsight

= WW Pick. Highly recommended.

Hindsight is not always 20/20. That’s the crux of photographer Susan Seubert’s The Fallacy of Hindsight at Froelick. In three separate photo series, she explores a phenomenon that psychologists call “hindsight bias.” This refers to the often mistaken belief that one always knew without a doubt how a given situation would turn out. Seubert illustrates this idea—sometimes effectively, sometimes less than convincingly—through depictions of a figure bound in twine, images of an Arctic ice field and a set of Polaroidsized images representing memories. Through May 2. Froelick Gallery, 714 NW Davis St., 222-1142.

By RICHARD SPEER. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, submit show information—including opening and closing dates, gallery address and phone number—at least two weeks in advance to: Visual Arts, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Email:

Testable Predictions

SHoWerS/GutterS/PiPeS/CHannelS/ DriPS/DriftS/tubeS/runnelS/CirCleS/ SPiralS/boarDS/PonDS/HoSeS/tunnelS/ funnelS/bubbleS/builDinGS/bulbS/ SPeakerS/fountainS/floWerS/SHoWerS by anDy Coolquitt

Cynthia Lahti: Battle

On the heels of winning the 24th annual Bonnie Bronson Fellowship Award, Cynthia Lahti exhibits a suite of enigmatic and satisfying sculptural and photographic objects at PDX. In the past, Lahti’s idiosyncracies have occasionally veered into preciousness, but not in these works, which are at once witty and accessible. The top two-thirds of the digital print Bank, for example, shows a woman’s belly, pantyhose-clad groin and legs; the print’s bottom third shows a woman’s lips, chin and hair, but not her eyes. Like the eyeless female nudes painted by the late Pop artist Tom Wesselmann, Lahti’s image is denied the advantage of a window into the soul. Unlike Wesselmann’s objectifying paintings, Lahti’s work is neither smug nor salacious, but very, very smart. Through March 28. PDX Contemporary Art, 925 NW Flanders St., 222-0063.

Dark Ecologies

The first thing you see when you walk into Bullseye’s three-artist show, Dark Ecologies, is Carolyn Hopkins’ beautiful and disturbing sculpture, Cascade. It depicts a strung-up dog with stylized entrails spilling out of its belly and looping over a tree limb. Glass beads link the dog to an eviscerated bird underneath it, which appears to leak blood into a red pool on the floor. This violent, virtuosic piece is left wide open to each viewer’s interpretation. Emily Nachison’s Diver is equally allusive, with its succession of oysters opening up to reveal crystals and geodes inside. Finally, Susan Harlan’s kiln-formed glass panels are diminutive masterpieces of exquisitely nuanced textures and wave forms in blue, beige, black and orange. Dark Ecologies is a strong, haunting show. Through March 28. Bullseye Projects, 300 NW 13th Ave., 227-0222.

Hedonic Reversal

By now, the fetishization of urban decay (so-called “ruin porn”) has reached the point of ubiquity, if not outright obnoxiousness. In an intriguing twist, artist Rodrigo Valenzuela has kicked the genre up into a “meta-” plane. In his suite of photographs entitled Hedonic Reversal, he’s created fake ruins in his studio, then taken pictures of them. So he’s not fetishizing authentically derelict buildings; he’s critiquing the fetishization of derelict buildings, and he’s doing so as an artist buttressed by the platform and aesthetic credibility afforded by a gallery show. It’s a brain twister that Valenzuela leaves it to us as viewers to parse. Through April 4. Upfor Gallery, 929 NW Flanders St., 227-5111.

Jana Demartini: Through the Darkness

Edvard Munch’s The Scream is handsdown the most archetypal depiction of inner terror outwardly expressed. It is, shall we say, a hard one to top, but that hasn’t stopped legions of artists from trying. Jana Demartini throws her hat into the ring with her charcoal and pastel drawings, collectively entitled Through the Darkness. The artworks deal with illness, loss and fear. In one image, a human figure stands in the center of a swirling tornado, hands raised as if in surrender or awe. Despite the dire circumstances, the figure appears almost serene, perhaps searching for an inner calm in the eye of the storm. Through March 28. Blackfish Gallery, 420 NW 9th Ave., 234-2634.

Lyric Truth: Paintings, Drawings and Embroideries by Rosemarie Beck

If you were an “important” New York painter in the late 1940s and 1950s, you dutifully pledged allegiance to Abstract Expressionism and trafficked in dollops, drizzles, smears and drips. Not so for Rosemarie Beck (1923-2003), subject of a rigorous exhibition at PSU organized by art historian Sue Taylor. In her mature work, Beck eschewed abstract statements, preferring to portray flesh-and-blood human beings. Sometimes, as in the oil painting Two with Horse, her depictions were frankly sensual and erotic. She also drew inspiration from the myths of Classical antiquity, a predilection that was not exactly considered forward-thinking by her contemporaries. Still, she persevered not only in the medium of painting but also in drawing and embroidery. This is the first time any of this artwork has been exhibited in Oregon. More information at rosemariebeckexhibit2015.blogspot. com. Through May 3. Broadway Lobby Gallery at Portland State University, Lincoln Hall, 1620 SW Park Ave.

Marlana Stoddard-Hayes: Agaricus

Mycology, the study of mushrooms, lies at the heart of Marlana StoddardHayes’ abstract paintings. She layers prints of different fungi into her compositions, which also integrate acrylic paint, linen and wood panels. Pieces such as Damask and Manuscript are fittingly organic, with vaguely circular blobs and knobby strings that float within the picture plane, as if in zero gravity. Taken together, the paintings are a bit one-note, but individually they’re visually and metaphorically rich. Through March 28. Butters Gallery, 520 NW Davis St., 2nd floor, 248-9378.

Nancy Lorenz: Polished Ground

What do Cindy Crawford, Elton John and Tom Ford have in common? They all own artworks by Nancy Lorenz, the New York artist showing at PDX Contemporary. These etudes of precious metals, mother of pearl and shiny lacquers dazzle with a lapidary elegance. One of the show’s seminal pieces, Palladium Relief, almost miraculously combines seemingly incompatible elements: metal and burlap, solid and liquid, quotidian materials with abstract expressionist sophistication. Lorenz’s gleaming, glittery confections twist the brain while they delight the eye. Through May 2. PDX Contemporary Art, 925 NW Flanders St., 222-0063.

New York Salon

After a recent trip to New York City, Mark Woolley rounded up five New York artists who work in photography and curated them into an invigorating group show at his Pioneer Place gallery. In addition to Kyle Rudd, David Hanlon and Patrick Arias, the show features two artists more familiar to Portland art lovers. Noah and Nathan Rice, formerly known as the Christopher Twins, were longtime staples at Woolley’s gallery before they moved from Portland to New York five years ago. Working as a team, the twin brothers blend elements of photography, painting and collage. In works such as This City Is a Dagger, they overlay images drawn from film, cartoons and cityscapes, resulting in an enigmatic, Pop-flavored mélange. Through May 10. Mark Woolley Gallery @ Pioneer, 700 SW 5th Ave., 3rd floor, Pioneer Place Mall, 998-4152.

Nicholas Nixon: Hospice Patients

Nicholas Nixon is best known for his series The Brown Sisters, for which he’s photographed his wife and her three sisters every year since 1975. He’s showing a different body of work at Blue Sky this month, but one that also deals with the passage of time. In Hospice Patients, he trains his lens on people who are dying and their caregivers, friends and family. The patients are gaunt and careworn, but it’s their loved ones who seem to be having the roughest time. In the tender Maryann, Marianne, Madelon, and Elen Brinker, Wellesley, Massachusetts, an elderly woman lies in her bed at home, eyes closed, surrounded by onlookers. There is tacky wallpaper and kitschy furniture all around. There is a poinsettia. Three black dogs lie at the foot of the bed. It’s a scene of such comfortably mundane Americana, it seems almost incidental that a human being is living out her final moments. It’s to Nixon’s credit that he brings us such intimate moments with such a deeply

humane sense of restraint and respect. Through March 29. Blue Sky Gallery, 122 NW 8th Ave., 225-0210.

Rebecca Johnson: Barns

It’s not often that an artist statement on a press release damn near makes you weep. But Rebecca Johnson’s description of her paintings of old barns is so lyrical, it could have been a poem. “I use salvaged boards to build my paintings,” she begins. “The boards have a memory. When I paint I can hear the wind blow across open fields. Dust motes float in the shafts of light between the board and battens, I see swallows swoop from mud nests high in the rafters and eaves. Patterns in the weathered wood read like a map of the past; one can sense the history of the tree and a way of life come and gone.” After reading a paragraph that rhapsodic, you really have to hope the paintings themselves don’t suck. Through March 28. PDX Window Project, 925 NW Flanders St., 222-0063.

Showers/Gutters/Pipes/ Channels/Drips/Drifts/Tubes/ Runnels/Circles/Spirals/Boards/ Ponds/Hoses/Tunnels/Funnels/ Bubbles/Buildings/Bulbs/Speakers/ Fountains/Flowers/Showers

Only a show this cool could get away with a title this long. In early February, Austin, Texas-based artist Andy Coolquitt did a three-week residency in Portland, taking video and collecting old pipes, plastic sinks, buckets and other junk he found around town. He combined these into an immersive installation which has turned Disjecta into an eerie, vaguely postapocalyptic water-world. Everywhere you look, fountains are shooting water into distressed wooden crates; bubbly water churns mysteriously in buckets; and electric cords hanging from the rafters plunge sinisterly into vats of swirling liquid. A soundscape fills the gallery with the gurgling of water sluicing through gutters. At the show’s entrance, visitors are warned not to wander off the wood-planked path leading through this phantasmagoria, presumably for fear of slipping or electrocution. If you see any show at all this spring, this is the one to check out. It’s one of the most bizarre and impressive installations ever mounted at Disjecta—a tribute both to Coolquitt’s vision and the foresight of Disjecta’s departing curator-in-residence Rachel Adams, who leaves on a high—and very wet—note. Through April 26. Disjecta, 8371 N Interstate Ave., 286-9449.

Husband-and-wife curatorial team Calvin Ross Carl and Ashley Sloan have opened a new gallery in the space that used to be Nisus Gallery, on the east side of the Disjecta complex. Their first show, Testable Predictions, is a strong, three-artist debut, informed by the kind of heady but humorous aesthetic that Carl and Sloan are known for in their own artwork. Michelle Liccardo’s diminutive sculptures are fashioned from metal, concrete, paper and paint, but they look like sea creatures made out of Play-Doh. Perry Doane’s silkscreens, spartan and elegant, are punctuated by welcome bursts of saturated color. Finally, Amy Bernstein’s oil paintings wryly critique the gestures abstract painters keep in their arsenals: dollops, squiggles, arcs and simple shapes, set upon a white background. Isolated from one another, the marks are like painterly insects pinned down on an entomologist’s display board. Together, the artists’ contributions enliven this boxy, bright gallery with color, vivacity and optimism. Through April 12. Carl & Sloan Contemporary, 8371 N Interstate Ave., No. 1, 360-608-9746.

To Feel What I Am

Have social media affected our body language? That’s a big question, and in the exhibition To Feel What I Am, curators Eileen Isagon Skyers and Iris Williamson answer it obliquely and incompletely. Mostly that’s because Hap is a small space, and there are a whopping eight artists in the show. As a consequence, it feels too crowded with objects and ideas. The most successful piece visually is a short film called Aquarium by Chicago-based artist Tobias Zehntner. It was shot underwater in a swimming pool, with the camera upside-down. The bathers, therefore, appear to be swimming upside-down, with their legs where we expect their heads to be. This is an extremely odd effect that you have to see to really appreciate. Does it have anything to do with social media? Damned if I know, but it’s certainly cool to look at. Through March 28. Hap Gallery, 916 NW Flanders St., 444-7101.

Words, Words, Words: An Exhibition of Text-based Artwork

The relationships between text and image have given artists fodder for exploration for a long, long time. That’s what hieroglyphics were about, as well as illuminated manuscripts, petroglyphs and the traditions of Chinese, Japanese and Islamic calligraphy. It’s also what inspires the artists displaying their work in February and March at Elizabeth Leach Gallery. Jenny Holzer’s scrolling electronic messages have made her an international art star. Ditto for Ed Ruscha’s enigmatic words painted in typeset fonts across mountain and desert vistas. And then there are the text-and-map sculptures of U.K.-born, Ashland-based artist Matthew Picton. Picton, who used to show at Mark Woolley Gallery and Pulliam Deffenbaugh, joins Elizabeth Leach’s roster with this exhibition. His sinuous mixed-media sculptures map both geography and time, for an overall effect that is both political and deeply personal. Through March 28. Elizabeth Leach Gallery, 417 NW 9th Ave., 224-0521.

For more Visual Arts listings, visit

Willamette Week MARCH 25, 2015



MARCH 25–31

= WW Pick. Highly recommended. By PENELOPE BASS. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, submit lecture or reading information at least two weeks in advance to: WORDS, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Email: Fax: 243-1115.

THURSDAY, MARCH 26 Buddy Wakefield

Spoken word artist Buddy Wakefield has dominated multiple international poetry slam championships over the last decade and shared the stage with nearly every notable performance poet as he toured the globe. Most recently signed to Ani DiFranco’s Righteous Babe Records, Wakefield will make a stop in Portland on his Riled Up and Wasted on Light world tour. And to think, you just use your words for talking. Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison St., 2397639. 6:30 pm. $10. 21+.

Donald Miller

Blue Like Jazz author Donald Miller realized he had spent his entire life trying to impress other people but had failed to make any true connections. At age 40, Miller decided to be truly himself regardless of the consequences. The result is his new book, Scary Close. Powell’s City of Books, 1005 W Burnside St., 800-878-7323. 7:30 pm. Free.

FRIDAY, MARCH 27 Bird No Bird

Portland poets Rob Schlegel (January Machine) and Emily Kendal Frey (Sorrow Arrow) have invited a select group of fellow poets to read a collection of “pro-bird” and “anti-bird” poems to coincide with the featured art exhibit, paintings of birds and landscapes by Schlegel’s father, Robert Schlegel. Glyph Cafe & Arts Space, 804 NW Couch St., 719-5481. 5-7 pm. Free.

SATURDAY, MARCH 28 Barney Frank

In four decades with the U.S. House of Representatives, former congressman Barney Frank became known, if not for his sweeping reforms of the financial industry, then at least for being an outspoken, openly gay Jew. His appropriately titled, new political memoir, Frank, is a witty look back at his fight for economic fairness and personal freedom. Powell’s City of Books, 1005 W Burnside St., 800878-7323. 4 pm. Free.

MONDAY, MARCH 30 History Pub

The Oregon Historical Society, in collaboration with the Oregon Black Pioneers, will explore the vibrant music and night life of Portland’s African-American community during the 1940s and ’50s. Speakers will include Ben Johnson, Bill Rutherford and Jim Thompson. McMenamins Kennedy School, 5736 NE 33rd Ave., 249-3983. 7 pm. Free.

Quan Barry

Told through the experiences of a young girl with the ability to hear the voices of the dead, poet Quan Barry’s debut novel, She Weeps Each Time You’re Born, uses magical realism to depict the modern history of Vietnam. The Vietnamese-born, American-raised Barry says she hopes the story will help people understand Vietnam as something other than a quagmire. Powell’s on Hawthorne, 3723 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 800-878-7323. 7:30 pm. Free.

TUESDAY, MARCH 31 Robert P. Wright

A pillar of Portland’s drinking community for nearly four decades, the Horse Brass Pub is more institution than bar. Celebrating that history in his new book, The Brass, Robert P. Wright interviewed the bar’s late


Willamette Week MARCH 25, 2015

owner, Don Younger, and all those involved in the life of the pub to get the authentic story of its history (as well as a group of longtime drinkers can remember). Broadway Books, 1714 NE Broadway, 284-1726. 7 pm. Free.

mental and emotional factors such as stress, trust and body image. Emily Nagoski’s new book, Come As You Are (pun intended?), explores how women can create and sustain fulfilling sex lives. Turns out the G-spot is about 2 feet north of where you’ve been looking. Powell’s City of Books, 1005 W Burnside St., 800-878-7323. 7:30 pm. Free.

Emily Nagoski

According to “groundbreaking” research in brain science, women’s sexual satisfaction has less to do with physical stimulation than with

For more Books listings, visit


PAIGE MCKENZIE, THE HAUNTING OF SUNSHINE GIRL Paige McKenzie is an Internet juggernaut. The 20-year-old, who lives in rural Oregon about an hour outside Portland, is the face of a YouTube channel that boasts more than 120 million page views. In other words, she generates about three times the traffic of And she’s done this with more than 1,000 amateurish, Blair WitchLiterally! esque videos about an excitable teenager named Sunshine who documents the paranormal activity around her. I spent a lot of time with McKenzie while profiling her last summer (“80 Million Paige Views,” WW, July 30, 2014), and I can affirm that while she’s less bubbly than her character, she does take “adorkable” as high praise. For those uninterested in sitting through nearly 40 hours of McKenzie yipping about ghosts, nail polish and her obsession with Audrey Hepburn—and ending nearly every video with her signature “blah!”—there’s now a book adaptation. The Haunting of Sunshine Girl (Weinstein Books, 304 pages, $16) is part of a deal with the Weinstein Company that’s also slated to include a movie franchise. (That said, it’s been nearly a year since the deal was announced, and the movie contracts have yet to be inked.) The book doesn’t inspire much confidence in the film project. An aggressively mediocre piece of YA horror, the novel follows Sunshine as she moves with her mom from sunny Texas to a bleak, rainy town in Washington state—think of it as Forks lite—where they’re promptly haunted by a murdered 10-year-old girl and a demonic spirit. Mom starts acting a little strange—think she might be possessed?!—and Sunshine, a misfit with an affinity for grandpa sweaters, antique typewriters and taxidermied owls (#soportlandrightnow), must figure out how to break the curse and save her mother’s life. Along the way, she meets a dreamy, shaggy-haired boy named Nolan who wears flannel button-downs and an old leather jacket and whose presence makes her feel hot. Like, literally hot. “Literally” is literally Sunshine’s favorite word. It literally appears at least 18 times during the course of the book. None of this is particularly creepy or suspenseful—which I don’t think is a matter of me being double the age of the target audience— and it’s bogged down by a plodding tempo and insipid dialogue. (McKenzie shares author credit with Alyssa Sheinmel, a YA writer whose other books deal with eating disorders, tragic secrets and rebellious surfer kids.) At points, I actually found myself yearning for McKenzie’s rabidly chipper YouTube persona. At least in videos she’ll drop the occasional “What’s up, bitches?” Here, Sunshine is all “oh gosh” and “good golly.” Needless to say, the relationship with Nolan remains chaste. Which, OK: Ghosts first, boys second, but then why has Sunshine become such a fraidy cat in the move from the screen to the page? Blah. REBECCA JACOBSON. GO: Paige McKenzie reads at Powell’s Cedar Hills Crossing, 3415 SW Cedar Hills Blvd., Beaverton, 800-878-7323, on Wednesday, March 25. 7 pm. Free.

maRch 25–31 REVIEW

= WW Pick. Highly recommended.



Editor: JOHN LOCANTHI. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, send screening information at least two weeks in advance to Screen, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Email: Fax: 243-1115.


French filmmaker Benoît Jacquot charts a classically torrid love triangle in 3 Hearts as sisters Sylvie (Charlotte Gainsbourg) and Sophie (Chiara Mastroianni) both fall for Marc (Benoît Poelvoorde). After Sylvie and Marc share a night of profound connection, they set a date—the Tuileries Garden—but, per the rule of romantic movies, stars cross. When Sophie and Marc share a moment, the film slowly unravels into the inevitable bad end. Sadly, the film devolves from its subtle opening. The instant affinity forged between Sylvie and Marc, via unbroken panning shots from one to the other, starts us off intimately. But the following histrionics, complete with foreboding voiceover and score, crowd the film like too many lovers. PG-13. KRISTI MATSUDA. Fox Tower.

Get Hard

C+ Get Hard is a movie about a rich white guy hiring a poor black guy to get him ready for a stint in prison. Given that premise, it’s actually kind of surprising how frequently it manages to avoid being terrible. The jokes punch up. James (Will Ferrell) is some generic financial patrician who commits some generic financial crime. He’s awful: He promises his wife (Alison Brie) that he’s going to make enough money in a day to choke a baby and tells Darnell (Kevin Hart), “Just so you know, I would have done the same thing if you were white,” after knocking on Darnell’s window to give him his keys at the car wash where he works. As is a staple of his comedy, many of Hart’s bits deal with stereotypes of black men— when Hart is forced to take hold of a gun, he winces and his wrist goes limp, proving he’s kind of a wimp. But more of the jokes—really the whole premise of the movie—are about prison rape. There’s nothing subversive about these, nothing clever or surprising, just gems like “they fucking in San Quentin,” from Mr. Hart. Prison rapes happen. A lot. Ha? R. JAMES HELMSWORTH. Showing at most Portland-area theaters.


Cute alien runs away and winds up on Earth, where it feels at home or something. PG. Showing at most Portlandarea theaters.

Seymour: An Introduction

Ethan Hawke’s documentary presents the life and lessons of noted piano guy Seymour Bernstein. Look for John Locanthi’s review at PG.


B+ Behind enemy lines, as seen

through the eyes of an abandoned British soldier in the midst of the Troubles of 1971 Belfast. Despite myriad explosions, onscreen deaths, and visceral emotional stereotypes associated with action thrillers, ’71’s excellent pacing and a well-crafted, character-driven plot manage to evoke comparisons to films like Scorsese’s Departed. Director Yann Demange steers remarkably clear of a political emphasis, choosing to depict a city at war with itself, where audiences may see a two-shaded conflict cast in a single solemn shade of gray. ’71 depicts the horrors of the Troubles in a personal and horrifyingly tense reality, an accomplishment that shows tremendous respect for its subject. R. PARKER HALL. Fox Tower.

American Sniper

D Chris Kyle (Bradley Cooper) shoots people. R. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Bridgeport, Division, Evergreen, Fox Tower, Movies on TV, Tigard.

Ballet 422

A backstage look at up-and-coming choreographer Justin Peck as he puts together a new work for the New York City Ballet. PG. Living Room Theaters.

Big Eyes

B- For Margaret Keane, “eyes are the window to the soul.” At least, that’s the drivel the artist (a blondwigged Amy Adams) has to deliver in Tim Burton’s Big Eyes, a biopic that winds up wanting for both vision and soul. Art critics lambasted the work as sentimental kitsch, but the public adored it. And Margaret got none of the credit. Her husband, Walter (Christoph Waltz)—a charming huckster and self-deluded egotist—presented himself as the artist. Big Eyes is often tiresome, and Burton skims over thorny questions—the populist craze for kitsch, gendered expectations in art, the line between highbrow and lowbrow. PG-13. REBECCA JACOBSON. 99 West Drive-In.

Big Hero 6

sex ed: Maika Monroe learns about her sexually transmitted curse.

A Shelving wordy cleverness for its

own sake, ignoring parental intrusion, and allowing moral lessons to develop organically through a simplified storyline, Big Hero 6 is that rarest thing: an animated children’s adventure designed purely to delight its target audience. Substantial swaths of the picture are devoted to nothing loftier than portraying just how unstoppably cool soaring on the back of your own robot would feel. PG. JAY HORTON. Avalon, Laurelhurst Theater, Mt. Hood, Vancouver, Valley.



BY a P kRYza a kryza @


B- If Birdman’s message is that the

theater, specifically Broadway, is the home of high art and Hollywood a place of debased, greed-driven entertainment, Alejandro González Iñárritu doesn’t make a convincing—or even amusingly satirical— argument. R. REBECCA JACOBSON. Hollywood, Fox Tower.


B- Anyone expecting Chappie to match the brilliant political allegories of director Neill Blomkamp’s District 9 should know that Chappie is essentially a mashup of Short Circuit, Robocop and assorted direct-to-video action films from the ’80s. It’s all to say that Chappie is pretty fucking stupid. But if you lower your expectations, it’s also kind of a blast. R. AP KRYZA. Showing at most Portlandarea theaters.


D+ Disney’s Cinderella is an animated classic beyond question. But what do you get when you replace the iconic singing fairy godmother with Helena Bonham Carter and a loud, repetitive score? You get Kenneth Branagh’s tiresome live-action retcon of Cinderella. In Branagh’s Cinderella, we meet not only Lily James’ Ella—yes, that is her new name—but also her perfect, happy parents, albeit briefly. Her mother’s final words: “Have courage and be kind.” (Get used to that advice—you’ll hear it often.)”Cinderella” is a pejorative concocted by Ella’s boorish stepsisters. So of course Ella introduces herself to Prince Charming as Cinderella. This is one of several alterations that make little sense, but Cinderella has the courage to assume you weren’t paying attention anyway. PG. JOHN LOCANTHI. Showing at most Portland-area theaters.


B History happens in real time in

Citizenfour, a behind-closed-doors account of Edward Snowden’s decision to reveal the dizzying extent of U.S. government surveillance programs. R. MICHAEL NORDINE. Laurelhurst Theater.

CONT. on page 40

Horror fans can’t help being numb to the barrage of jump scares, fake-outs and in-your-face gore that dominates the genre. Hell, it’s been the bane of horror for decades, with slashers ceding their power to J-horror knockoffs and, most recently, found-footage films so focused on terrors jumping at us from offscreen that they forget to build anything resembling atmosphere. There is, however, a plus side to horror’s predictability: When your guard is lowered, something truly terrifying like It Follows can burrow into your psyche. Shooting between the seemingly safe suburbs of Detroit and the decaying inner city, director David Robert Mitchell’s triumph is his ability to wring endless dread out of seeming normalcy. He’s more interested in the horror of atmosphere—in peril slowly advancing through the background of open spaces—than cheap “gotcha” scares. The result is a low-budget creep show that has rightfully earned its buzz as one of the finest horror films of the past decade. And while that buzz might end up hurting It Follows after nearly a year of critics singing its praise, those who appreciate innovation in horror will discover a new classic. We meet Jay (Maika Monroe), a normal 19-year-old girl falling for dreamboat Hugh (Jake Weary). Following their first sexual encounter, Jay awakens in an abandoned warehouse, bound to a wheelchair. That’s when Hugh lays it all out: When they had sex, he passed along a curse. Until she sleeps with somebody else, she will be followed by a malicious force. Said force can take any human form. Sometimes it will be ghastly, like the ghoulish naked women slowly creeping toward them in the darkness. Sometimes it will be a familiar face. Regardless of form, it will walk slowly toward her, and only she will see it. If it reaches her, she will die, and the curse will revert back to Hugh. Jay spends the rest of the film in a state of deranged paranoia, enlisting her Scooby-Doo!-like

friends to help her confront the violent death lurking on the periphery at all times. The resulting terror isn’t particularly explosive. But the setup lights a fuse that slowly burns toward your most basic fears. Any setting, no matter how mundane, can become the source of terror. That could get pretty dull were it not for Mitchell’s ability to ratchet up tension with simple camera moves. In one sequence, the frame rotates around Jay as a sinister figure edges closer and closer down the corridors of a school. In another, a quiet stretch of Lake Michigan is transformed into a stifling, claustrophobic trap as figures emerge from the brush, any of which could be either a beachgoer or certain doom.

A LOW-BUDGET CREEP SHOW THAT HAS RIGHTFULLY EARNED ITS BUZZ. There are homages to John Carpenter throughout—especially the way placid suburbia becomes a macabre maze, and the piercing synth score that punctuates each scene—and the use of background scares point to a ’90s Japanese influence. But make no mistake: It Follows is a throwback only in its old-school ability to milk minimalism to maximum effect. The film is a chokingly tense affair from the opening sequence. While it can’t avoid the genre’s tendency to spin out in the final moments, the overwhelming majority of It Follows is an exercise in primal, universal fear. Like Jennifer Kent’s masterful The Babadook, It Follows is anchored by excellent performances and layered with subtext. With The Babadook it was all about a mother’s resentment of a child. Here, Mitchell is dealing with the loss of innocence and the dangers of sexuality. (The latter is a little more on-the-nose, considering the curse is an STD.) But rest assured, the subtext, like the creature stalking its prey, is in the background. For most of the movie, you’ll be too nervous to think about allegories—and too busy looking over your shoulder. A- see IT: It Follows is rated R. It opens Friday at Division, Lloyd Center, Hollywood, Cinema 21.

Willamette Week MARCH 25, 2015


march 25–31


D Fifty Shades turns what was supposed to be a torrid affair into an overly serious episode of Beverly Hills 90210 with some timid softcore erotica thrown in. The source material might have made a decent porno. Unfortunately, Universal sued the porn studio that intended to do this movie justice. That’s a shame. r. JOHN LOCANTHI. Eastport, Clackamas, Forest Theatre, Bridgeport, Evergreen.

leads Erudite, yet another faction. Tris has an aptitude for multiple factions and is therefore “divergent,” which is bad. Why the factions want to eliminate divergents will never fully make sense. It’s best not to think about any of this too hard. The film is essentially one long fight with occasional changes of scenery. Director Robert Schwenke spends some time trying to develop this drama, or at least as much as any dumb action movie invests in character development. It’s probably good that the old “chick flick” has been abandoned, and that the success of The Hunger Games and the Divergent series proves that teenage girls like watching bloodshed, explosions and mayhem, too. PG-13. JOHN LOCANTHI. Showing at most Portland-area theaters.

ments to the color palette—icy blue nights, washed-out industrial zones and the yellow glow of dark restaurants full of sinister men—the film could easily be mistaken for a vintage production. The story’s brooding, heavy heart is an ambitious Colombian immigrant named Abel— played by rising star Oscar Isaac with the looks and ferocity of a young Al Pacino—who seeks to expand his sketchy heating-oil business despite near-constant hijackings of his trucks. This is a slow, methodical character study whose title belies a relatively bloodless story. r. AP KRYZA. Academy Theater, Laurelhurst Theater.



J.M.W. Turner created some of the world’s most awe-inspiring artwork. His landscapes are by turns frightful and beautiful, and the same goes for Mr. Turner. r. MICHAEL NORDINE. Laurelhurst Theater.

DUFF (“designated ugly fat friend”) is apparently a thing kids say these days. PG-13. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Bridgeport, Evergreen, Sherwood.

Fifty Shades of Grey

B- Great con-man movies—a sub-

genre old as cinema itself—strike a difficult balance between breezy capers and deeper examinations of character motives. It’s a dance between glamorizing the life of crime and facing the inevitable emptiness it begets. In this scenario, Focus hits most of the right notes. It’s a slick, funny and sometimes suspenseful yarn, a picture that’s light on its feet and mostly forgettable, but it still manages moments of intrigue. r. AP KRYZA. Showing at most Portlandarea theaters.


B Steve Carrell is kinda funny lookin’. r. MATTHEW SINGER. Laurelhurst Theater.

A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night

A- Writer-director Ana Lily Amirpour’s

A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night is an eclectic cinematic mishmash: an Iranian noir-spaghetti Westernlove story with vampires. And yet, somehow, it all works. JOHN LOCANTHI. Cinema 21, Laurelhurst Theater.

The Gunman

Sean Penn is a gunman who suffers from PTSD as a result of gunning down so many people. r. Showing at most Portland-area theaters,

Hot Tub Time Machine 2

C- If you thought the first installment of Hot Tub Time Machine was stupid, that’s because, well, it was. But, as is the case with movies where a good chunk of the joke is also the movie’s central conceit and title, it was a carefully constructed stupid. It was a stupid that induced joy as it revealed new implications of this stupid conceit. It was really funny. Hot Tub Time Machine 2 isn’t brilliantly stupid. Just the regular kind. r. JAMES HELMSWORTH. Vancouver.

The Imitation Game

B Full of childhood flashbacks, hand-

some sets, sharp zingers and a careful dash of devastation, the Imitation Game takes a prickly prodigy—Turing pioneered the field of computer science and helped crack Nazi codes—and places him in an eminently (and sometimes overly) palatable picture. PG-13. REBECCA JACOBSON. Bridgeport, Fox Tower.

Inherent Vice

A Paul Thomas Anderson’s rollicking adaptation of Thomas Pynchon’s 2009 novel. r. Academy Theater, Kennedy School, Laurelhurst Theater, Mission.


C- The Divergent Series: Insurgent is essentially a dumb action movie, except with the traditional gender roles reversed. The hero is a woman. The villain is a woman. The ever-supportive eye candy is a dude. They kill a lot of people. In the Divergent series, dystopian future Chicago is ruled by five factions, each defined by a personality trait. The second film in this series picks up where the first left off: Our hero, Tris (Shailene Woodley), is still reeling from the death of her mother (Ashley Judd), the destruction of her mother’s faction and the near annihilation of her own faction at the hands of Jeanine (Kate Winslet), who


C+ The McConnaissance goes

into outer space. PG-13. Academy, Empirical, Kennedy School, Mt. Hood, Vancouver, Valley.

Into the Woods

B+ Stephen Sondheim’s much-loved musical has finally made it to the big screen. The film is divided into halves: the first full of payoffs and the second full of inescapable relationship truths and romantic boredom. Though timid—it waters down forest sex to an agonized make-out scene in the pines—Disney’s long-shelved adaptation is still a beautiful compromise. And hell, the mash-up of cautionary fairy tales is fun, with the Witch (Meryl Streep) pushing a young couple (James Corden and Emily Blunt) to undo a family curse they inherited. PG. SAUNDRA SORENSON. Academy Theater, Empirical, Kennedy School, Mt. Hood, Vancouver, Valley.

Jupiter Ascending

B There’s not a recognizable idea to be found in the whole of Jupiter Ascending’s grand space opera/ cartoon. A plotline does exist, though the movie dispenses with the important bits as swiftly as possible. We’re scarcely introduced to Jupiter Jones (Mila Kunis), plucky cleaning woman with a penchant for stargazing, before floating wraiths, bluehaired bounty hunters, and dashingly feral disgraced soldier Caine Wise (Channing Tatum) appear on her trail. A wholly illogical fairy-tale denouement that leaves little expectation of sequels. Mad they may be, but the Wachowskis aren’t stupid. PG-13. JAY HORTON. Avalon, Eastport, Clackamas, Edgefield, Kennedy School, Milwaukie, Mission, Mt. Hood, Cinema 99, Division, Evergreen, Movies on TV, Tigard, Valley.

Kingsman: The Secret Service

A- Remember when spy movies were

fun? Kingsman: The Secret Service does. r. JOHN LOCANTHI. Showing at most Portland-area theaters.

The Lazarus Effect

Like Lazarus, Olivia Wilde is brought back from the dead, except Mark Duplass performs the miracle instead of Jesus this time. PG-13. Avalon, Clackamas, Movies on TV, Valley.

Maps to the Stars

B- It comes as little surprise that David Cronenberg would eventually make a warts-and-all send-up of celebrity culture. Cronenberg’s roving ensemble in Maps to the Stars includes a Justin Bieber-like child star who calmly meets with obsessed Make-AWish kids and an aging actress whose glory days have faded along with her youth. Maps to the Stars can be wildly disjointed at times, its tonal range often unwieldy. This is Hollywood at its most uncensored, and there’s rarely a voice of reason or moral compass to bring things back to earth. Cronenberg doesn’t pull any punches in his excoriation of this world, but he doesn’t provide much revelatory insight either. r. MICHAEL NORDINE. Living Room Theaters.

A Most Violent Year

B The film takes place in 1981 New York, one of the most crime-ridden years in the city’s history. From the long takes and fluid camera move-

Willamette Week MARCH 25, 2015

Mr. Turner

B+ Known as “the painter of light,”


Still Alice

A- Still Alice charts a linguistics pro-

fessor’s descent into early-onset Alzheimer’s disease. Richard Glatzer and Wash Westmoreland’s film has an element of carefully balanced melodrama, thanks to a tightly written script and Julianne Moore’s transformative performance. Moore’s Alice begins the film as a put-together Columbia professor who beats herself up for forgetting a single word in a lecture. As Alice’s memory worsens, Moore loosens her performance in a gradual, almost imperceptible manner. The film is somewhat hampered by an overly dramatic score and a few lackluster performances, though Kristen Stewart’s work as Alice’s free-spirited daughter is a refreshing turn for the usually stoic actress. PG-13. BLAIR STENVICK. Clackamas, CineMagic, Bridgeport, City Center, Fox Tower.

Taken 3

The prequel to T4ken. PG-13. Mt. Hood, Vancouver.

The Theory of Everything

B- A brief history of Stephen Hawking’s 30-year marriage to Jane Wilde, The Theory of Everything fits a tad too snugly into the biopic tradition. Here, Hawking’s contributions to the fields of physics and cosmology take a backseat to the story of his and Wilde’s courtship, marriage and eventual divorce. PG-13. MICHAEL NORDINE. Fox Tower.

What We Do in the Shadows

B+ The last thing pop culture needs

is another vampire flick. The secondto-last is more reality TV. Leave it to a pack of Kiwis—including Jemaine Clement of Flight of the Conchords fame—to give us both and somehow make vampires and reality TV feel fresh. JOHN LOCANTHI. Cinema 21.



The cuddly, floppy hat-wearing bear gets his own live-action feature. PG. 99 West Drive-In, Academy, Avalon, Empirical, Kennedy School, Laurelhurst Theater, Milwaukie, Mission Theater, Mt. Hood, Division, Movies on TV.

Project Almanac

Teenagers build a time machine. Things don’t go as planned. Not screened for Portland critics. PG-13. Vancouver.

Run All Night

Liam Neeson pits his very specific set of skills against Ed Harris as the Neesonaissance continues unabated. r. Showing at most Portland-area theaters.

The Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel

B Old folks home in India revisited. PG. JOHN LOCANTHI. Showing at most Portland-area theaters.


A- Selma, Ava DuVernay’s drama

about three 1965 civil rights marches in Alabama, is not perfect, but it arrives at a historic moment that will leave only the most blinkered viewer feeling chuffed about the superiority of the present to the past. Violence here is never aestheticized for its own sake, but brought to life so that we might understand its escalation and impact. The film is transfixing, but not easy to watch. And it should not be easy to watch. PG-13. CHRIS STAMM. Cedar Hills, Clackamas, Cornelius, Living Room Theaters, Bridgeport, City Center, Movies on TV.

Slaughter Nick for President

B Canadian actor Rob Stewart didn’t

make much of a splash when his TV series, Baywatch-wannabe Tropical Heat, aired between 1991 and ’93. The goofy detective series, starring Stewart as the impossibly bronzed, impressively ponytailed Nick Slaughter, disappeared almost instantly from the public consciousness, while Stewart himself disappeared into his parents’ suburban home…until he discovered, two decades later, that the country of Serbia basically considered him its version of David Hasselhoff. AP KRYZA. Avalon, Milwaukie, Vancouver, Valley.

Something Borrowed

24 Without a doubt the most harrowing of the Saw sequels, Something Borrowed stars Kate Hudson as Darcy, a tan with teeth engaged to a haircut with teeth named Dex (Colin Egglesfield, who looks like he was conceived, delivered and christened at one of Rob Lowe’s Slip ’n Slide parties circa 1985). Darcy and Dex, whose names actually function as rather swift character development—stay away from these people, basically—have enough money and free tim. PG-13. CHRIS STAMM. Clinton Street.

The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water

B SpongeBob SquarePants in 3-D! PG. JOHN LOCANTHI. Showing at most Portland-area theaters.

lEt’S Go for a SPin: former GoP Congressman Bob inglis.

MERCHANTS OF DOUBT A month ago, posted an op-ed about a potential vape ban in bars. “This isn’t about protecting people,” it said, “it’s about controlling them” and “empirical research is relevant only to the extent that it helps the political cause.” Such phrases sound straight from the playbook of Merchants of Doubt, a new documentary about how interested parties pay to spin doubts about scientific evidence that could bite into their bottom line. First, director Robert Kenner tackles tobacco. Evidence that linked cigarette smoking to serious illness mounted in the ’50s, so tobacco companies turned to a PR firm. Hill & Knowlton crafted a strategy: create doubt about health claims without actively denying any of them. This strategy, as highlighted by Merchants of Doubt, has since been deployed in debates about everything from flame retardants to climate change. The movie is at its best when profiling the titular merchants. Marc Morano, founder of and regular publisher of climate scientists’ private emails, explains how his background as a doorto-door salesman helps him win debates against “arcane” and “boring” scientists, a shit-eating grin on his face the whole time. Then there’s a doctor who appears frequently in public debates about flame-retardant safety, peddling a slightly different story each time about a baby being burned in a candle accident. Ande smirking William O’Keefe, a paid lobbyist for ExxonMobil and head of a climate change-denying think tank, tells the audience, “Y’all couldn’t afford me.” But Merchants of Doubt loses its way when it begins advocating for activism on climate change. Much of the third act meanders beyond how the seeds of doubts are sowed and why they are so effective in the climate “debate” into how fucked we are. Most every viewer in the target audience already agrees, so why dedicate so much time to this? People so want to be told that their way of life is OK—that they don’t have to change anything—argues Morano, that they’ll believe anything reinforcing their pre-existing views. It’s a simple, powerful idea. Opinions on the indoor vaping ban will vary independent of scientific research: We’re all just waiting for someone to tell us we’re right. JOHN LOCANTHI.

Spin masters warp “boring” science to make bank.


SEE it: Merchants of Doubt is rated PG-13. It opens Friday at Fox Tower.

MARCH 25–31




B+ Whiplash clefts music from

dance, love and spirituality. What’s left is muscle, red and raw, beating faster and faster against a drum. Damien Chazelle’s beautiful but troubling fi lm centers on a battle of egos and tempos, as Andrew (Miles Teller) must decide how much of himself and his sanity he’s willing to give to music. Teller gives a close-to-the-chest performance. J.K. Simmons is certainly horrifying as his instructor. And here’s where Whiplash is most troubling: It views the abusive instructor as a necessary evil for creating great art. This fl ies in the face not just of morality but of history. R . JAMES HELMSWORTH . Fox Tower.


Wild Canaries

B Bickering Brooklyn couple Barri and Noah (played by reallife couple Sophia Takal and director Lawrence Michael Levine) become bumbling detectives when their 84-year-old neighbor, Sylvia, mysteriously dies. Suspecting her down-and-out son (Kevin Corrigan), they begin a breaking-and-entering spree and blatantly stalk their neighbors while disguised in wide-brimmed hats and wider-rimmed sunglasses. The couple’s lesbian roommate (Alia Shawkat) obnoxiously titters with Barri over imagined murder plots, befuddling this fast-paced whodunit even further. The two women seem more of a couple than Barri and Noah. Eventually, suspicion turns to the couple’s abusive, poker-playing, pot-smoking landlord, who apparently has a fetish for creating models of his closest friends’ severed heads. All in the name of art. From the opening scene—in which a man in gloves and the iconic taupe trench coat stalks in to a fi lm noir soundtrack— to the fi nish, Wild Canaries is selfmocking. It mashes twee Brooklyn navel-gazing with relationship dramedy and Pink Panther-style sleuthing. Boring it’s not, but it’s not ground breaking, either. ENID SPITZ . Laurelhurst Theater.

Wild Tales

B+ Don’t let the dark subject

matter fool you: Director Damián Szifron mines the humor out of all six stories that comprise Wild Tales. He captures the Wile E. Coyote and Roadrunner vibe of a road-raging douchebag and a crude redneck locked in an increasingly violent bout on a lonely highway. He fi nds the smirk in a chef nonchalantly suggesting that a waitress slip rat poison into a patron’s food. Szifron even squeezes a few laughs out a millionaire’s attempts to buy his drunken-driving son’s way out of prison after he kills a pregnant woman. Wild Tales’ mix of humor and darkness works because every situation escalates too quickly for the gravity to register. The fi lm even has an Aesopian moral: Sometimes it’s better to just let things go. Maybe fi ghting an unjust parking ticket isn’t worth missing your daughter’s birthday party, you know? R . JOHN LOCANTHI. Cinema 21.

The Wrecking Crew

A music documentary about the Wrecking Crew in L.A., which you’ve undoubtedly heard already, whether you know it or not. These studio musicians played on tracks for Frank Sinatra, the Beach Boys, the Mamas and and Papas, and the Monkees, among others . Hollywood.

It Follows (R) 11:40AM 2:20PM 4:55PM 7:30PM 10:05PM Kingsman: The Secret Service (R) 12:40PM 3:50PM 7:05PM 10:15PM Home (PG) 10:55AM 1:25PM 4:00PM 6:30PM 9:00PM The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water (PG) 11:55AM 4:55PM 9:55PM Home 3D (PG) 12:10PM 2:40PM 5:15PM 7:45PM 10:20PM McFarland, USA (PG) 10:40AM 1:40PM 4:40PM 7:40PM 10:40PM The Duff (PG-13) 12:35PM 6:15PM The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water 3D (PG) 2:25PM 7:25PM Still Alice (PG-13) 2:55PM 8:40PM Run All Night (R) 10:50AM 4:35PM 10:25PM Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel, The (PG) 10:50AM 1:50PM 4:50PM

Home 3D (PG) 11:00AM 1:30PM 4:00PM 6:30PM 9:00PM

Home (PG) 11:00AM 1:40PM 4:20PM 7:00PM 9:40PM Jupiter Ascending (PG-13) 4:10PM 10:10PM The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water (PG) 11:35AM 4:35PM 7:05PM 9:40PM Home 3D (PG) 12:20PM 3:00PM 5:40PM 8:20PM Kingsman: The Secret Service (R) 12:35PM 3:55PM 7:15PM 10:15PM Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel, The (PG) 1:10PM 7:10PM The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water 3D (PG) 2:10PM McFarland, USA (PG) 4:05PM 10:25PM

Run All Night (R) 11:10AM 2:00PM 4:50PM 7:40PM 10:30PM Chappie (R) 11:10AM 2:00PM 4:50PM 7:40PM 10:30PM Cinderella (2015) (PG) 11:00AM 12:25PM 1:50PM 3:15PM 4:40PM 7:30PM 10:20PM Gunman, The (R) 12:45PM 3:50PM 7:00PM 10:00PM American Sniper (R) 12:55PM 7:20PM Divergent Series: Insurgent, The 3D (PG-13) 11:15AM 2:20PM 5:35PM 8:45PM Focus (R) 11:30AM 2:05PM 4:45PM 7:25PM 10:15PM Get Hard (R) 11:45AM 1:05PM 2:25PM 3:45PM 5:05PM 6:25PM 7:45PM 9:05PM 10:25PM Divergent Series: Insurgent, The (PG-13) 12:50PM 4:00PM 7:10PM 10:20PM Fifty Shades Of Grey (R) 6:10PM 9:30PM

Kingsman: The Secret Service (R) 1:10PM 4:10PM

THIS IS YOUR THEATER To film geeks, the Hollywood Theatre is this city’s living room. When the Hollywood began its This Is Your Theater program last year, it solidified that status by letting patrons pick movies to revive. But as in any living room, people are getting lazy. This Is Your Theater is now the crowdsourcing version of walking up to your DVD collection, shrugging and picking a movie you’ve seen a hundred times. This month, out of all the movies from the past century-plus of rare cinematic gems, you picked Aliens (6:30 pm Saturday, March 28). Aliens is the perfect marriage of sci-fi, action and horror. I will watch it any time I can. Thing is, you can watch Aliens all the time. It screens regularly in Portland repertory theaters. Picking such unimaginative favorites has become endemic with nearly every This Is Your Theater event (The Shop Around the Corner and Fire Walk With Me excepted). Programmer Dan Halsted theorizes that people seek out wellknown classics because the Hollywood regularly screens obscure films as part of its usual robust roster. But that just makes it worse. The Hollywood’s patrons are among the city’s most rabid movie fans. And yet, when they get to pick, they go with the most obvious choice possible. Next month, when the voting comes around, I implore you not to pick The Big Lebowski or Pulp Fiction or anything else that brings back fond memories of that poster on your wall, or that time you saw it in the theater last fucking week. Pick something you’ve never seen in a Portland theater. This is your theater, dammit. Not your living room on a lazy Sunday. AP KRYZA. The Hollywood wants you to pick a movie— stop being lazy.

Chappie (R) 7:50PM 10:40PM Cinderella (2015) (PG) 10:40AM 12:05PM 1:30PM 4:20PM 5:50PM 7:10PM 10:00PM American Sniper (R) 10:35PM Gunman, The (R) 11:00AM 2:00PM 3:25PM 4:50PM 7:40PM 9:05PM 10:30PM A Girl Like Her (PG-13) 12:00PM 2:35PM 5:05PM 7:35PM 10:05PM Divergent Series: Insurgent, The 3D (PG-13) 11:45AM 1:00PM 2:45PM 4:00PM 5:45PM 7:00PM 8:45PM 10:00PM Focus (R) 11:50AM 2:30PM 5:10PM 7:55PM Get Hard (R) 10:45AM 1:20PM 3:55PM 6:35PM 9:10PM Fifty Shades Of Grey (R) 1:40PM 7:20PM Divergent Series: Insurgent, The (PG-13) 10:45AM 1:45PM 4:45PM 7:45PM 10:40PM Do You Believe? (PG-13) 10:40AM 1:30PM 4:25PM 7:15PM 10:10PM

Cinderella (2015) (PG) 11:00AM 12:25PM 1:50PM 3:15PM 4:40PM 6:05PM 7:30PM 10:20PM Divergent Series: Insurgent, The 3D (PG-13) 11:50AM 12:40PM 3:40PM 5:40PM 6:40PM 9:40PM Home (PG) 12:15PM 2:45PM 5:15PM 7:45PM 10:15PM Chappie (R) 7:15PM 10:10PM Get Hard (R) 11:30AM 12:30PM 2:00PM 3:00PM 4:30PM 5:30PM 7:00PM 8:00PM 9:30PM 10:30PM Gunman, The (R) 11:10AM 2:00PM 4:50PM 7:40PM 10:30PM Divergent Series: Insurgent, The (PG-13) 11:00AM 1:50PM 2:40PM 4:40PM 7:40PM 8:40PM 10:30PM Focus (R) 2:00PM 7:30PM

Jill (Great India Films) (NR) 9:00PM

A- Reese Witherspoon trudges

north in Wild, the fi lm adaptation of Portlander Cheryl Strayed’s bestselling memoir about hiking 1,100 miles from scorched California to soggy Oregon. R. Living Room Theaters.

Get Hard XD (R) 12:15PM 2:50PM 5:25PM 8:00PM 10:35PM

7:10PM 10:10PM The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water (PG) 11:30AM 2:00PM 4:30PM It Follows (R) 12:00PM 2:30PM 5:00PM 7:30PM 10:00PM Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel, The (PG) 11:00AM 1:55PM 4:45PM 7:40PM 10:30PM The Duff (PG-13) 4:40PM McFarland, USA (PG) 1:00PM 4:00PM 7:00PM 10:00PM Run All Night (R) 11:10AM 10:10PM


ALSO SHOWING: The Joy’s free, boozy Weird Wednesday series hits an eight-legged peak with Horrors of Spider Island, a 1962 masterpiece about a stranded dance troupe stalked by arachnids whose bites turn them into spider-people. Joy Cinema. 9 pm Wednesday, March 25. Church of Film presents a series of works by flamboyant German auteur Werner Schroeter, including shorts and 1973’s surreal Willow Springs. North Star Ballroom. 8 pm Wednesday, March 25. Eugene ragtime band Mood Area 52 provides a live score to the Buster Keaton film Our Hospitality, in which Keaton plays an heir trying to resolve a feud in Kentucky. Hollywood Theatre. 7:30 pm Thursday, March 26. While found footage has become the go-to shtick for low-budget horror garbage, filmmaker Roger Beebe has taken real unearthed footage to create Something Borrowed. Clinton Street Theater. 7 pm Thursday, March 26. The NW Film Center ditches Italy for Sweden for a showcase of acclaimed director Ruben Östlund’s robust work. NW Film Center’s Whitsell Auditorium. Through March 30. The Cinescopo series presents 1951’s ATM: ¡A Toda Maquina!, a buddy comedy about two Mexico City transit police. Hollywood Theatre. 2 pm Saturday, March 28. Orson Welles’ noir classic Touch of Evil is so good that even the concept of Charlton Heston playing a Mexican cop named Miguel Vargas can’t distract from its technical marvels. Academy Theater. March 27-April 2. Movies in Black & White takes on the proto-buddy-cop comedy 48 Hrs., in which a young Eddie Murphy and a rough-edged Nick Nolte bicker and trade barbs while shooting everybody in sight. Hollywood Theatre. 7 pm Tuesday, March 31. Willamette Week MARCH 25, 2015




IT SUCKS: Donnie Darko plays Laurelhurst Theater on March 27-April 2.


Regal Lloyd Center 10 & IMAX 1510 NE Multnomah St. THE DIVERGENT SERIES: INSURGENT -- AN IMAX 3D EXPERIENCE Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 01:05, 04:05, 07:10, 10:10 GET HARD Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:35, 03:40, 07:25, 10:05 HOME Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-TueWed 11:45, 04:45, 09:45 HOME 3D Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 02:15, 07:15 THE BREAKFAST CLUB Tue 07:30 THE DIVERGENT SERIES: INSURGENT FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:25, 03:30, 06:30, 09:30 IT FOLLOWS Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 01:15, 04:30, 07:30, 10:10 CINDERELLA Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:45, 03:55, 06:45, 09:40 THE GUNMAN Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 12:55, 03:50, 07:00, 09:55 THE SECOND BEST EXOTIC MARIGOLD HOTEL Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 12:15, 03:20, 06:50, 09:50 KINGSMAN: THE SECRET SERVICE FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:05, 03:10, 06:35, 09:35 A GIRL LIKE HER Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:55, 02:25, 05:00, 07:40, 10:15 CLASSIC MUSIC SERIES: LED ZEPPELIN Mon 07:30



Willamette Week MARCH 25, 2015

3702 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 503-249-7474 THE DIVERGENT SERIES: INSURGENT Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 12:45, 03:45, 07:00, 10:15

Cinema 21

616 NW 21st Ave., 503-223-4515 WILD TALES Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 04:00, 06:45, 09:15 WHAT WE DO IN THE SHADOWS Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 04:15, 06:30, 08:45 IT FOLLOWS Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 04:30, 07:00, 09:15 THE ROOM Fri 10:45

Clinton Street Theater

2522 SE Clinton St., 503-238-8899 TEN MINUTE PLAY FESTIVAL Fri 07:00 OCCUPY THE FARM Tue-Wed 07:00

Laurelhurst Theater & Pub

16603 SE Division St. GET HARD Fri 12:15, 02:45, 05:15, 07:45, 10:15 HOME Fri 11:30, 02:00, 04:30, 07:00, 09:30 THE DIVERGENT SERIES: INSURGENT HOME 3D Fri 12:00, 05:00, 07:30, 10:00

2735 E Burnside St., 503-232-5511 A MOST VIOLENT YEAR Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 09:25 CITIZENFOUR FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 07:00 INHERENT VICE Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 06:15, 09:15 INTERSTELLAR Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 08:50 DONNIE DARKO Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 09:35 MR. TURNER Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 06:30 A GIRL WALKS HOME ALONE AT NIGHT Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 06:40 BIG HERO 6 Fri-Sat-Sun 04:00 PADDINGTON Sat-Sun 01:10

Avalon Theatre & Wunderland

Mission Theater and Pub

Regal Division Street Stadium 13


Bagdad Theater

3451 SE Belmont St., 503-238-1617 THE LAZARUS EFFECT Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-TueWed 08:45 PADDINGTON Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-TueWed 01:00, 02:50, 06:55 PENGUINS OF MADAGASCAR Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 04:45 BIG HERO 6 Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 12:15, 02:20 JUPITER ASCENDING Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 04:30, 07:15, 09:45

1624 NW Glisan St. INHERENT VICE Fri-Sat 10:00 JUPITER ASCENDING Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 04:20 GREASE Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 07:15

St. Johns Cinemas

8704 N Lombard St., 503-286-1768 THE DIVERGENT SERIES: INSURGENT Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 04:30, 07:10, 09:35 CINDERELLA Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 05:30, 07:55

CineMagic Theatre

2021 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 503-231-7919 STILL ALICE Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 05:30, 07:40

Century 16 Eastport Plaza

4040 SE 82nd Ave. JUPITER ASCENDING FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 04:10, 10:10 MCFARLAND, USA Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 04:05, 10:25 AMERICAN SNIPER Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:55, 07:20 THE SPONGEBOB MOVIE: SPONGE OUT OF WATER Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 11:35, 04:35, 07:05, 09:40 KINGSMAN: THE SECRET SERVICE FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:35, 03:55, 07:15, 10:15 FIFTY SHADES OF GREY Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 06:10, 09:30 FOCUS FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:30, 02:05, 04:45, 07:25, 10:15 CHAPPIE Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 11:10, 02:00, 04:50, 07:40, 10:30 THE SECOND BEST EXOTIC MARIGOLD HOTEL Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 01:10, 07:10 CINDERELLA Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 11:00, 12:25, 01:50, 03:15, 04:40, 07:30, 10:20 THE DIVERGENT SERIES: INSURGENT FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:50, 04:00, 07:10, 10:20 THE DIVERGENT SERIES: INSURGENT 3D Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 11:15, 02:20, 05:35, 08:45 THE GUNMAN Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:45, 03:50, 07:00, 10:00 HOME Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 11:00, 01:40, 04:20, 07:00, 09:40 HOME 3D Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-TueWed 12:20, 03:00, 05:40, 08:20 RUN ALL NIGHT Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:10, 02:00, 04:50, 07:40, 10:30 GET HARD Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:45, 01:05, 02:25, 03:45, 05:05, 06:25, 07:45, 09:05, 10:25 CLASSIC MUSIC SERIES: LED ZEPPELIN Mon 07:30

Kennedy School Theater

5736 NE 33rd Ave., 503-249-7474 PADDINGTON Fri-Sat-SunTue-Wed 05:45 INHERENT

VICE Fri-Sat-Wed 02:30 JUPITER ASCENDING FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 08:00

Hollywood Theatre

4122 NE Sandy Blvd., 503-281-4215 THE WRECKING CREW Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 06:45, 09:00 IT FOLLOWS Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 07:15, 09:20 YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE Fri 07:00 SALAD DAYS Fri-Sat 09:30 A TODA MÁQUINA Sat 02:00 ALIENS Sat 06:30 MAKING SPACE: 5 WOMEN CHANGING THE FACE OF ARCHITECTURE Sun 02:00 GRIDLORDS Sun 07:30 CHAMPS Mon 07:00 48 HRS. Tue 07:00 PAPER CIRCUS: ANIMATIONS BY LUCA DIPIERRO Wed 07:30

NW Film Center’s Whitsell Auditorium

1219 SW Park Ave., 503-221-1156 FORCE MAJEURE Sat 04:15 PLAY Fri-Sun 05:00 THE GUITAR MONGOLOID SatSun 07:30 INVOLUNTARY Sat-Mon 07:00 A YEAR IN CHAMPAGNE Fri 07:00

Regal Pioneer Place Stadium 6

340 SW Morrison St. GET HARD Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 01:30, 04:30, 07:30, 10:15 HOME Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 01:15, 09:45 HOME 3D Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 04:00, 07:00

St. Johns Theater

8203 N Ivanhoe St. 503-249-7474-6 GET HARD Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 01:00, 04:00, 07:00, 09:45



DISPENSARY REVIEW: THE HERBERY Here’s a good question for kush-induced pondering: What will 82nd Avenue’s strip malls look like this time next year? My bet is they will be well on their way to becoming a lot like the one that houses Vancouver’s newest legal weed emporium, The Herbery (212 NE 164th Ave., No. 11, Vancouver, 360841-7500, The Herbery is in a green-and-white plaza, catty-corner from an O’Reilly Auto Parts, Mary Jane’s House of Glass, and—you can’t make this shit up—Blazzin Pizza, and is everything I want to see happen to 1980s car-focused shopping areas. The store was even christened by Sir Mix-A-Lot. Like the vast majority of weed dealers in Washington, the Herbery, with its white, adhesive-frosted glass windows and unassuming streetside presence, isn’t shouting at anyone too loudly. But the classically styled backlit mall sign makes no effort to hide it from the prying questions of suburban children to their parents, either. Inside the Herbery, it’s not an Apple Store or even average medical dispensary chic. But it is clean and brightly lit, with three large jewelry cases holding the goodies and various mechanisms for their consumption, with bongs located on shelves above the cases. The budtenders—or, as I like to call

them while imagining them with tiny green wings when high, “weed fairies”—work in pairs behind each case, ready to find the right bud for you. There are two new ATMs by the entrance for people who want to pay cash for their Pineapple Express instead of using their debit card. Yes, they actually take plastic here—for now. There’s a large strain selection—35 from eight growers when I visited—and it is indica-heavy. They only had grams of Headband and a few sativa-dominant hybrids for sale. But I was told they have people scouring farms for new strains this week, especially sativas. So, sativa man that I am, and despite one of their excellent weekend-only specials that seemed almost too good to be true—$40 for one-eighth of an ounce of Orange Kush, $12 for a gram—I settled on Blue Hawaiian, a $20-per-gram giggle-inducer with a sticker on the pouch asking me to “Like” it on Facebook. Then I went on my merry way, green paper bag in hand, in a trip that took less than 10 minutes. The strip-mall effect is immediately apparent, and quite grounding. You don’t feel like you just left somewhere interesting; it all seems very normal, like when you used to run out to RadioShack for batteries for that fucking wireless GameCube controller. And it isn’t hard to imagine that, in 20-some years, this place too will go out of business because of Amazon. TED LANAHAN.

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Want to sponsor a WW event? Email for details. Willamette Week MARCH 25, 2015







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HELP WANTED!!! Earn extra income assembling CD cases. Call our live operators NOW! 800-2673994 ex 3090 HUMANITARIAN CAREERS! Change the lives of others while creating a sustainable future. 1, 6, 9, 18 month programs available. Apply now! (269) 591-0518 AIRLINE CAREERS BEGIN HERE Get trained as FAA certified Aviation Technician. Financial aid for qualified students. Housing and job placement assistance. Call Aviation Institute of Maintenance 800-725-1563


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MARCH 25, 2015

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Willamette Week Classifieds MARCH 25, 2015

TRUCK DRIVERS-OTR/CLASS A CDL Ashley Distribution Services in Wilsonville, OR seeks: ïLTL TRUCK DRIVERS (Multiple stop loads to retail stores!) - Ability to Enter Canada • Home Weekly • Paid Vacation • Full Benefit Package Class A CDL & at least 1 year current OTR exp. Clean MVR/PSP Reports. Call 1-800-837-2241 8AM to 4PM CST for info & app or email: or to apply under jobs. RICHARD BAGDASARIAN, INC. has 1 temp FT job in Mecca, CA (3/23/2015-7/31/2015): Citrus Technologist - Manage health of trees and rootstock for multiple citrus varieties. Analyze soil for irrigation & fertilized reqd. Inspect orchards, pollination, detect diseases or insect infestations, & analysis & recommendation of spraying treatments. Analyze, monitor, combat Psyllid insect and citrus-killing Huanglongbing disease. Oversee removal & quarantine of infected trees to limit spread. Wage $24.32/hr. Associate’s deg in Agriculture / Agronomy, & 3 yrs. exp. reqd. Workers guaranteed to work æ of total work days. Housing provided at no cost for those residing outside normal commuting area. 1 time transportation/subsistence expense to job reimbursed by 50% of work contract. Return transportation & all tools/equip provided. Ability to lift 80lbs. Contact (760) 863-2500 or apply at nearest SWA/ DOL office using listing 14321061.

MECHANICAL INSTRUCTOR, DIESEL SERVICE TECHNOLOGY Portland Community College is currently seeking qualified applicants for the position of Instructor, Diesel Service Technology.How to Apply For complete job description and application instructions, visit: EOE

MUSICIANS MARKET FOR FREE ADS in 'Musicians Wanted,' 'Musicians Available' & 'Instruments for Sale' go to and submit ads online. Ads taken over the phone in these categories cost $5.

INSTRUMENTS FOR SALE TRADEUPMUSIC.COM Buying, selling, instruments of every shape and size. Open 11am-7pm every day. 4701 SE Division & 1834 NE Alberta.

MUSIC LESSONS PIANO & VOICE LESSONS From Teacher W/Master Music Degree All Levels 503.666.4008 VOICE INSTRUCTION Anthony Plumer, Concert Artist/Voice Teacher. 503-299-4089. LEARN PIANO ALL STYLES, LEVELS With 2 time Grammy winner Peter Boe. 503-274-8727.



GARCIA MAINTENANCE, LLC 503-774-2237 ONE TIME CLEAN-UPS FOR ALL SEASONS -Mowing and edging -Flower bed weeding, -Shrub & Small Tree Removal -Yard Work -Blackberry and Brush Clearing -Pruning for Shrubs, Hedges & Small Trees -Weeding, Trimming -Barkdust -Mulching -Pressure Washing -Gravel & Rock -Hauling -Thatching & Aeration -Flower Beds -Year Round Maintenance Specializing in Yard Clean-up for Real Estate Sale Free Estimates Reasonable Prices Licensed/Insured 503-774-223




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STEVE GREENBERG TREE SERVICE Pruning and removals, stump grinding. 24-hour emergency service. Licensed/ Insured. CCB#67024. Free estimates. 503-284-2077

FINANCIAL ARE YOU IN BIG TROUBLE WITH THE IRS? Stop wage & bank levies, leiens & audits, unfiled tax returns, payroll isssues & resolve tax debt FAST call 844-753-1317





Multiple positions and multiple locations in the PDX metro area. Servers, cooks, hosts, catering staff, hotel staff etc. Check out www. for specific opportunities and specific locations. What we need from you: An open and flexible schedule, including days, evenings, weekends and holidays; Previous experience is preferred, but If you’re willing to learn, we’re willing to train; A love of working in a busy, customer service-oriented environment. We offer opportunities for advancement as well as an excellent benefit package to eligible employees, including vision, medical, chiropractic, dental and so much more! Please apply online 24/7 at www.mcmenamins. com or kick it old-school and pick up a paper application at any McMenamins location. Mail to 430 N. Killingsworth, Portland OR, 97217 or fax: 503-2218749. Call 503-952-0598 for info on other ways to apply. And, people, please no phone calls or emails to individual locations!. E.O.E.




Adoring Doctor, Devodte, Financially Secure Family, Music, Theatre, Sports, Travel, Education awaits 1st Baby. *** 1-800-379-8418*** *Expenses Paid*

GARAGE/ESTATE SALES ESTATE SALE March 28th & 29th 9-5 Furniture, Household items, Tools, Sporting Goods and more! 7601 SW Thornton Dr. Wilsonville.

LESSONS Brazilian Style Housecleaning

Call Anna 503 803 3455


MISCELLANEOUS WEEKLY WORD OF GOD The LORD, Our GOD, The Eternal One, is from Everlasting to Everlasting. Therefore, Jesus Christ, the same Today, Yesterday, and Forever!

RESEARCH STUDIES MENOPAUSE HERBAL RESEARCH STUDY Are you suffering from hot flashes and/or night sweats? If it has been 12 months or more since your last menstrual period, you are not taking hormone therapy, and wish to participate in a research study of a Vietnamese herb called Crila, for menopause symptoms, please call 503-222-2322 and ask for Michelle Cameron, ND. Research study office visits are compensated after first visit and herbal product is free for the time of the study.

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503-445-2757 • © 2015 Rob Brezsny

Week of March 26

ARIES (March 21-April 19): The term “jumped the shark” often refers to a TV show that was once great but gradually grew stale, and then resorted to implausible plot twists in a desperate attempt to revive its creative verve. I’m a little worried that you may do the equivalent of jumping the shark in your own sphere. APRIL FOOL! I lied. I’m not at all worried that you’ll jump the shark. It’s true that you did go through a stagnant, meandering phase there for a short time. But you responded by getting fierce and fertile rather than stuck and contrived. Am I right? And now you’re on the verge of breaking out in a surge of just-the-right-kindof-craziness. TAURUS (April 20-May 20): If you happen to be singing lead vocals in an Ozzy Osbourne cover band, and someone in the audience throws what you think is a toy rubber animal up on stage, DO NOT rambunctiously bite its head off to entertain everyone. It most likely won’t be a toy, but rather an actual critter. APRIL FOOL! In fact, it’s not likely you’ll be fronting an Ozzy Osbourne cover band any time soon. But I hope you will avoid having to learn a lesson similar to the one that Ozzy did during a show back in 1982, when he bit into a real bat -- a small flying mammal with webbed wings -- thinking it was a toy. Don’t make a mistake like that. What you think is fake or pretend may turn out to be authentic. GEMINI (May 21-June 20): In the spring of 1754, Benjamin Franklin visited friends in Maryland. While out riding horses, they spied a small tornado whirling through a meadow. Although Franklin had written about this weather phenomenon, he had never seen it. With boyish curiosity, he sped toward it. At one point, he caught up to it and lashed it with his whip to see if it would dissipate. This is the kind of adventure I advise you to seek out, Gemini. APRIL FOOL! I half-lied. I don’t really believe you should endanger your safety by engaging in stunts like chasing tornadoes. But I do think that now is a favorable time to seek out daring exploits that quench your urge to learn. CANCER (June 21-July 22): Novelist L. Frank Baum created the make-believe realm known as Oz. Lewis Carroll conjured up Wonderland and C. S. Lewis invented Narnia. Now you are primed to dream up your own fantasy land and live there full-time, forever protected from the confusion and malaise of the profane world. Have fun in your imaginary utopia, Cancerian! APRIL FOOL! I half-lied. It’s true that now would be a good time to give extra attention to cultivating vivid visions of your perfect life. But I wouldn’t recommend that you live there full-time. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): “The national anthem of Hell must be the old Frank Sinatra song ‘I Did It My Way,’” declares Richard Wagner, author of the book Christianity for Dummies. “Selfish pride is Hell’s most common trait,” he adds. “Hell’s inhabitants have a sense of satisfaction that they can at least say ‘they’ve been true to themselves.’” Heed this warning, Leo. Tame your lust for self-expression. APRIL FOOL! I was making a little joke. The truth is not as simplistic as I implied. I actually think it’s important for you to be able to declare “I did it my way” and “I’ve been true to myself.” But for best results, do it in ways that aren’t selfish, insensitive, or arrogant. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): No matter what gender you are, it’s an excellent time to get a gig as a stripper. Your instinct for removing your clothes in entertaining ways is at a peak. Even if you have never been trained in the art, I bet you’ll have an instinctive knack. APRIL FOOL! I lied. I don’t really think you should be a stripper. But I do recommend you experiment with a more metaphorical version of that art. For instance, you could expose hidden agendas that are causing distortions and confusion. You could peel away the layers of deception and propaganda that hide the naked facts and the beautiful truth. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Give yourself obsessively to your most intimate relationships. Don’t bother cleaning your house. Call in sick to your job. Ignore all your nagging little errands. Now is a time for one task only:

paying maximum attention to those you care about most. Heal any rifts between you. Work harder to give them what they need. Listen to them with more empathy than ever before. APRIL FOOL! I went a bit overboard there. It’s true that you’re in a phase when big rewards can come from cultivating and enhancing togetherness. But if you want to serve your best relationships, you must also take very good care of yourself. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): It’s after midnight. You’re half-wasted, cruising around town looking for wicked fun. You stumble upon a warehouse laboratory where zombie bankers and military scientists are creating genetically engineered monsters from the DNA of scorpions, Venus flytraps, and Monsanto executives. You try to get everyone in a party mood, but all they want to do is extract your DNA and add it to the monster. APRIL FOOL! Everything I just said was a lie. I doubt you’ll encounter any scenario that extreme. But you are at risk for falling into weird situations that could compromise your mental hygiene. To minimize that possibility, make sure that the wicked fun you pursue is healthy, sane wicked fun. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): If you were a ladybug beetle, you might be ready and eager to have sex for nine hours straight. If you were a pig, you’d be capable of enjoying 30-minute orgasms. If you were a dolphin, you’d seek out erotic encounters not just with other dolphins of both genders, but also with turtles, seals, and sharks. Since you are merely human, however, your urges will probably be milder and more containable. APRIL FOOL! In truth, Sagittarius, I’m not so sure your urges will be milder and more containable. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): “The past is not only another country where they do things differently,” says writer Theodore Dalrymple, “but also where one was oneself a different person.” With this as your theme, Capricorn, I invite you to spend a lot of time visiting the Old You in the Old World. Immerse yourself in that person and that place. Get lost there. And don’t come back until you’ve relived at least a thousand memories. APRIL FOOL! I was exaggerating. While it is a good time to get reacquainted with the old days and old ways, I don’t recommend that you get utterly consumed by the past. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Some Aquarian readers have been complaining. They want me to use more celebrity references in my horoscopes. They demand fewer metaphors drawn from literature, art, and science, and more metaphors rooted in gossipy events reported on by tabloids. “Tell me how Kanye West’s recent travails relate to my personal destiny,” wrote one Aquarius. So here’s a sop to you kvetchers: The current planetary omens say it’s in your interest to be more like Taylor Swift and less like Miley Cyrus. Be peppy, shimmery, and breezy, not earthy, salty, and raucous. APRIL FOOL! In truth, I wouldn’t write about celebrities’ antics if you paid me. Besides, for the time being, Miley Cyrus is a better role model for you than Taylor Swift. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Annie Edson Taylor needed money. She was 63 years old, and didn’t have any savings. She came up with a plan: to be the first person to tuck herself inside a barrel and ride over Niagara Falls. (This was back in 1901.) She reasoned that her stunt would make her wealthy as she toured the country speaking about it. I recommend that you consider out-of-the-box ideas like hers, Pisces. It’s an excellent time to get extra creative in your approach to raising revenue. APRIL FOOL! I half-lied. It’s true that now is a favorable time to be imaginative about your financial life. But don’t try outlandish escapades like hers.

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Green Dog Pet Supply

Homework Describe what you’d be like if you were the opposite of yourself. Write

If you or your business would like to sponsor a pet in one of our upcoming Pet Showcases,

contact: check out Rob Brezsny’s Expanded Weekly Audio Horoscopes & Daily Text Message Horoscopes

The audio horoscopes are also available by phone at



1-877-873-4888 or 1-900-950-7700 Willamette Week Classifieds MARCH 25, 2015




503-445-2757 •


Find your Flame on


by Matt Jones

Ah Yes!–open wide and you know the rest. down while you eat 58 Stare at 59 L squared, in Roman numerals 60 High flier 61 Raymond’s nickname on “The Blacklist” 62 Big boss 63 “Capote” costar Catherine 64 ‘60s campus gp.




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Across 1 Wednesday stuff 4 Rehearsed ahead of time 10 Second addendum to a letter, briefly 13 Siegfried’s colleague 14 Quasi-ecothemed Pauly Shore movie 15 Cry of recognition 16 Rock guitarist’s accessory 17 Deviating offcourse 18 “Danny and the Dinosaur” author

___ Hoff 19 Stores owned by the guy who played Frasier’s dad? 22 Like xenon or krypton 23 Landing place 25 In ___ (working in harmony) 26 Just ___ (a little under) 31 Hand-held fare 32 Irish-Caribbean island chain? 34 Blackjack component 37 Ready-to-hug position 38 ___ de la Cite

(Notre Dame’s locale) 39 Showy birds at the dance? 41 Creamy cracker spread 42 John Denver Band bassist Dick (anagram of SINKS) 43 Laments loudly 47 Carpentry tools 49 Ab-developing exercise 50 Make a circular trip starting between California and Nevada? 56 Columnist Savage 57 It goes up and

Down 1 Cologne brand named after a Musketeer 2 Lots and lots of 3 Tex-Mex ingredient? 4 Kingly title 5 British party member 6 Levine of Maroon 5 7 “You’ve ___ Friend” (James Taylor hit) 8 Abu Dhabi VIP 9 Cruise ship levels 10 Rye topper 11 Yearly exam 12 Hangdog 14 Hell-___ (determined) 20 “Lord of the Rings” beast 21 “Let’s Roll” jazz singer James 24 Throw out, as a question 26 Ogre in love with Princess Fiona 27 “Masters of the Universe” protagonist 28 Dinosaur in Mario-themed Nintendo games 29 Bassoons’ smaller relatives

30 Goat-legged deities 32 Savion Glover’s specialty 33 Cleveland ___, OH 34 “Dancing Queen” music group 35 Uno, e.g. 36 Actor Hector of “Chicago Hope” and “Monk” 40 Like “haxored” and “pwn’d” 43 “Chandelier” chanteuse 44 They may be significant 45 Encouraged, with “up” 46 Does 80 in a 40, perhaps 48 He’ll tell you there’s no “I” in “TEAM” 49 Part attached at the hip? 51 Well-off person, so to speak 52 Stubbed piggy toe, e.g. 53 “Israel Through My Eyes” author 54 Pledge drive bag 55 ___ about (roughly) 56 Hip-hop’s Run___ last week’s answers

©2015 Jonesin’ Crosswords ( For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle #JONZ720.

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Willamette Week Classifieds MARCH 25, 2015



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Field Manager $17.00/Hour



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“I Believe” by Di Pinsonault $225 Available at: Good;a gallery (until the end of March) 4325 N Mississippi



Mon-Sat 11am-7pm • Sun 12pm-6pm

Shopping center for Sale in Crescent City, CA $1,290,000 1.6 acres aprox 16k sq. ft. $109k net grose Jim nelson, agent 707-218-7240 or email

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WE’VE GOT THE JOB FOR YOU • PORTLAND.WWEEK.COM Willamette Week Classifieds MARCH 25, 2015


MARCH 25, 2015



Get rid of your Debt baggage! Call Today: 503-808-9032 FREE Consultation. Payment Plans. Scott Hutchinson, Attorney

Atomic Auto 2510 NE Sandy Blvd. (503) 969-3134 600+ Sales NW’S LARGEST Garage & Vintage Sale (Formerly Portland’s LARGEST Garage Sale) at the Portland Expo Center Sat. Apr. 4th 8am- 5pm Adults $5 Kids Under 12Free ALL INDOORS Expo Center 2060 N Marine Dr Portland 97217

Guitar Lessons

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Personalized instruction for over 15yrs. 503-546-3137

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Improv, Standup, Sketch writing. Now enrolling The Brody Theater, 503-224-2227


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5425 NE 33rd Ave. Portland, OR 97211 (971) 279-5050

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$Cash for Junk Vehicles$ Ask for Steven. 503-936-5923


9966 SW Arctic Drive, Beaverton 9220 SE Stark Street, Portland American Agriculture ï PDX 503-256-2400 BVT 503-641-3500


Paying up to $30/box. Help those who can’t afford insurance. Free pickup in SW WA and Portland Metro. Call 360-693-0185

Top Portland Agent

Top 1% Portland Agent Stephen FitzMaurice, Realtor Home Selling Specialist 12+ Years Experience 4.5% Max Commission Stellar service and marketing. Broker in OR at Premiere Property Group. 3636 NE Broadway St. 503-975-6853.

Stephen’s Home of the Week 2001 NE GERTZ RD, 5bed, 2.5bath, 2442sq, $324,000

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Meet the Chefs face-to-face

CASH for INSTRUMENTS SE - 503-236-8800 NE - 503-335-8800

Oregon Medical Marijuana Patient Resource Center *971-255-1456* 1310 SE 7TH AVE

The Nines • 525 SW Morrison St. • 6th Floor Ballroom We are proud to be an EEO/AA employer M/F/D/V.


Open 7 Days

Vaporizers, hookahs, glass pipes, tobacco, gift items 3554 NE SANDY BLVD. 503-253-0504


Nonprofit Attorneys Bankruptcy

We Buy, Sell & Trade New and Used Hydroponic Equipment. 503-747-3624

Tax, Tenants, Small Business, More Payment Plans - Sliding-Scale (503) 208-4079


Quick fix synthetic urine now available. Your hookah headquarters. Vapes. Ecigs, glass pipes, discount tobacco, detox products, salvia and kratom Still Smokin’ Tobacco For Less 12302 SE Powell 503-762-4219 F O L L O W @ WWE E K ON TWITTER

MEDICAL MARIJUANA Card Services Clinic

New Downtown Location! 1501 SW Broadway

4119 SE Hawthorne, Portland ph: 503-235-PIPE (7473)

503 235 1035

503-384-WEED (9333) 4911 NE Sandy Blvd, Portland Mon-Sat 9-6

Pizza Delivery

Until 4AM!

41 21 willamette week, march 25, 2015  
41 21 willamette week, march 25, 2015