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STAFF Editor-in-Chief Mark Zusman EDITORIAL Managing Editor for News Brent Walth Arts & Culture Editor Martin Cizmar Staff Writers Andrea Damewood, Nigel Jaquiss, Aaron Mesh Copy Chief Rob Fernas Copy Editors Matt Buckingham, Jessica Pedrosa Stage & Screen Editor Rebecca Jacobson Music Editor Matthew Singer Projects Editor Matthew Korfhage Books Penelope Bass Classical Brett Campbell Dance Aaron Spencer Theater Rebecca Jacobson Visual Arts Richard Speer Editorial Interns Joe Donovan, Catalina Gaitan, Katie Gilbert, Richard Grunert, Haley Martin, Emily Schiola, Sara Sneath
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The sad part is there are many children with reactive attachment disorder [“No Good Deed,” July 17, 2013]. I parent two children adopted from the foster care system diagnosed with RAD. They have many of the same behaviors this boy [in the story] has. Through social media such as Facebook and Pinterest, parents of children with RAD have been able to find each other. This is one story out of thousands that deserves to be told. Something has to be done to help these children and families. Many families I know were not given the information they should have been given prior to adopting kids from the foster care system. Whether the Oregon Department of Human Services flat-out lied or just did not perform due diligence in gathering information, it matters not. Eyes need to be opened about what is happening to children and families throughout the U.S. when they seek help for their mentally ill adopted children. —“Shellie” Thirty years ago, my husband and I had a similar experience. We naively thought that love would conquer all, and that with great effort we could heal the damage done to the 4-year-old girl we adopted. We raised her until age 18. It took a great toll on our marriage, our resources, our two other children and our families. It was not worth it and I deeply regret the decision to adopt, which was made with the very best intentions. —“Amelie” I cannot stop thinking about this story and the fate of all the people involved. Heather Mer-
rifield is very brave for coming forward to share her nightmare experience. Even if this article doesn’t change anything about the system or about her particular situation, I hope at least it gives her some piece of mind knowing that she may be helping other prospective adoptive parents ask the right questions and recognize the warning signs when a child’s mental condition is too severe to be helped. —“Marg”
RUDY CREW: MR. ARROGANCE
Wow, this guy Rudy Crew, the superb bullshit artist of all time [“Where Rudy Crew Flew,” WW, July 17, 2013]. The only thing this man is capable of is excelling at a level of arrogance; he has raised the arrogance bar far beyond the reach of most mortals. —“Willie J”
CORRECTION
Our July 10 Headout story “Deadliest Pick” contained several erroneously overcautious statements about the dangers of wild berries. Elderberries do not have poisonous cyanideinducing glycosides, nor do the flowers, though every other part of the plant does. Black and blue elderberries are safe to eat uncooked. Solanum dulcamara can be safely inhaled. WW nevertheless maintains that anyone interested in foraging should consult a published field guide, or purchase berries from a supermarket, established farmers market or reputable U-pick farm. LETTERS TO THE EDITOR must include the author’s street address and phone number for verification. Letters must be 250 or fewer words. Submit to: 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Fax: (503) 243-1115. Email: mzusman@wweek.com
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I often see “Oregon” abbreviated as “Ore.” Yet we all know the official two-letter U.S. postal-code abbreviation for our state is “OR.” What gives? —Brett S. Please don’t be offended when I say this may be the most boring question I have ever answered in this column. I mean, I get it. Like you, I’m a language nerd who’s whiled away many an hour debating the subtle distinctions between diereses, umlauts and tremata.* But come, Brett; let’s sit for a moment. Have you ever kissed a girl? Thrown a baseball? Taken off your socks with the lights on? Is being excruciatingly correct about orthographic minutiae really worth sacrificing any hope of a normal social life? Just kidding—of course it is! (Especially considering that a “normal social life” for guys like us consists of getting thrown into a gym locker during freshman year and staying there until it’s 4
Willamette Week JULY 24, 2013 wweek.com
time to die of old age.) There are several ways to abbreviate “Oregon” (and other state names); which is correct varies depending on context. If you’re just mentioning Oregon in a sentence, like, “Oregon leads the nation in dildo abuse,” you shouldn’t abbreviate it at all. You can use the “Ore.” in a place name or dateline: “Wanker’s Corner, Ore.” And never use the two-letter postal-code abbreviation in anything except actual mailing addresses—it’s wrong. Why is it wrong? Who knows? As far as I can tell, these are all arbitrary rules mostly made up so people who know the rule can say, “Ha, ha! Fuck you, dumbass!” to people who don’t. It’s all rather unfair, and I would be more indignant about it were it not for the fact I’m one of the people who knows the rule. But, since I am…ha, ha! *The nipples of language! Google them; you know you wanna. QUESTIONS? Send them to dr.know@wweek.com
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MULTNOMAH COUNTY: Jeff Cogen’s not smiling now. COVER STORY: The very best things in Portland.
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A proposed state rule to run strict background checks on addictions counselors could disqualify as many as 600 workers and volunteers who help keep people sober. The Oregon Health Authority is crafting the new rules so peer addictions counselors— most of whom are former addicts with rap sheets—can be paid through Gov. John Kitzhaber’s new healthcare experiment, coordinated care organizations. Nonprofits flocked to a public hearing on the rule July 22 in Portland to testify against it. “It’s not a very smart idea,” says Eric Martin, policy and legislative liaison for the Addiction Counselor Certification Board of Oregon. “A peer mentor is someone with the same life experience that can help you.” Health authority spokeswoman Rebeka Gipson-King says the state is considering the nonprofits’ complaints and will make its decision by Aug. 2. Layoffs aren’t the only thing changing staff at The Oregonian. At least a half-dozen Oregonian staffers offered jobs at the newly formed Oregonian Media Group have instead asked for severance packages. Among those leaving on their own terms: City Hall reporter Beth Slovic—who resigned June 18, two days before the layoffs, to spend more time with her newborn daughter—and PolitiFact reporter Janie Har, who is going to California. “Happily, that has allowed us to rehire some of the staffers originally told they would be losing their jobs,” says Editor Peter Bhatia. The rehires include Casey Parks and Dana Tims. The musical chairs leave Brad Schmidt alone in The O’s first-floor City Hall office—a spot government staffers hope (according to Schmidt’s reporting) to revert to its earlier function as a coffee window. Mayor Charlie Hales has big plans for City Hall refreshments. As first reported on wweek.com, the mayor met with staffers in the city’s facilities department this month to discuss adding food carts, coffee carts and tables to the City Hall plaza and lobby— essentially turning the ground floor of the 118-year-old building into a cart pod. “It should make sense for people PORTLAND CITY HALL downtown to drop by City Hall to grab a cup of coffee or a snack or lunch,” Hales says. But that means chucking out the homeless camp that had taken up residence on the Southwest 4th Avenue sidewalk. Portland police evicted the campers early July 23, while Multnomah County jail inmates removed cardboard boxes left behind, and a city contractor pressure-washed the sidewalk. Disgraced former New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer is mounting a political comeback with the help of an unlikely source: Bus Project executive director Caitlin Baggott. Spitzer is running for comptroller in New York City, and the TV campaign ad he released this week includes Baggott gazing in admiration. It’s stock footage from a 2010 ad made for Gov. John Kitzhaber two years ago. “Who knew! I shoulda asked for royalties,” Baggott says in an email—and says Spitzer’s campaign has agreed to remove her image. Read more Murmurs and daily scuttlebutt.
AARON MESH
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JEFF COGEN’S DOUBLE LIFE PUBLIC DOCUMENTS CONTRADICT THE COUNTY CHAIRMAN’S ACCOUNT OF HIS AFFAIR.
Cogen’s top policy initiatives—the public health programs he pursued and publicized at Manhas’ advice. Here are the key claims he made, in ascending order of seriousness:
BY NIG E L JAQ UI SS AND
AA R O N M E S H
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Cogen’s claim: He says he ended his affair with Manhas, who earns $103,299 as the county health department’s director of policy and planning , “about two months ago.” The records show: It’s unclear when the affair ended. Cogen’s calendar indicates on July 11 he scheduled a lunch appointment with Manhas for July 18. Then, after an anonymous email surfaced July 15, accusing the pair of having an “inappropriate” relationship, records show Cogen erased the lunch meeting from his schedule at 2:34 pm that day. There’s also the odd coincidence that both Cogen and Manhas traveled with their families to Vancouver, B.C., for the July Fourth holiday. Cogen says he “talked to her beforehand about restaurants and stuff” but denies seeing her or talking to her in Canada. Asked whether he texted or communicated with Manhas electronically while in Vancouver, however, Cogen said, “I don’t know.”
Multnomah County Chairman Jeff Cogen could not have seemed more sincere last week as he confessed an affair with a county employee named Sonia Manhas. “My family is hurting,” Cogen told WW on July 16. “My wife is very upset, and I feel terribly about it.” The most powerful elected official in county government was red in the face, short of breath and running his hands through his hair. He sometimes had trouble speaking through tears. But eight days later, Cogen’s story about the liaison is on the rocks—and the holes in his story could sink his political career. The documents Multnomah County released in response to public-records requests over the past week have been humiliating for Cogen—his emails to Manhas are filled with smiley faces and exclamations like “Yippee!,” while Manhas’ are packed with admiration, referring to him as “rock star, Jeff Cogen.” Cogen’s claim: He didn’t misuse county But as Cogen returns to work this week, resources on the affair. the unresolved questions about his abuse It’s clear he used public resources. of power threaten not only his credibility Whether he did so appropriately is in the CHAIR ON THE HOT SEAT: Multnomah County Chairman Jeff Cogen admitted July 16 but that of the county government as well. eye of the beholder. Last week, Cogen to an affair with a county health department employee. But his story about the affair Late on July 23, his four commission owned up to traveling to Atlanta in Februleft out key details revealed in county documents. colleagues asked for an outside investiga- ary 2012 with Manhas for a Centers for tion of Cogen’s actions. Disease Control conference at a total cost The anonymous email that prompted On Aug. 21, after she had applied, ManAs the highest-ranking official on of $2,238 and traveling to Salem twice Cogen’s confession said Manhas was “basi- has forwarded Cogen another internal Multnomah County’s elected five-member with her during the past legislative session cally ‘appointed’ into her current position county update about the hiring process. board, Cogen, 51, wields far greater sway to testify on tobacco issues. When asked as opposed to a fair, transparent process.” And when she was informed she had been over the county’s $469 million general if they took other trips, Cogen was vague: “There was a process,” Cogen told WW. selected, Manhas forwarded Cogen that fund budget than his better-known coun- “Not that I can think of right now,” he said. “There were five candidates, and she won.” announcement, too. terpart, Portland Mayor Charlie Hales, The records show: In February 2013, The records show: On July 2, 2012, the “Damn,” Cogen replied, “that Sonia does over city operations. Cogen arranged to travel again to Atlanta, health department posted a new job—direc- woman sounds great!” At issue for Cogen, who has served this time with a group of 50 Portlanders tor of policy and planning. Records show as county chairman since 2010 and was visiting that city on a “best practices” tour. Manhas forwarded the posting to Cogen via Cogen’s claim: Manhas is not his subordifirst elected to the commission in 2006, is Members of the Portland delegation were email, accompanied only by a smiley face. nate. whether he’s telling the truth about the all booked to stay at the same hotel, the Cogen responded with a smiley face of his That matters because county personaffair—and more importantly, how it influ- Renaissance Atlanta Midtown, where own—which suggests the job posting was no nel policies prohibit direct supervision enced county operations. they’d pay $199 per room per night. But surprise to either of them. Then, on July 10, by “a person with whom the employee has In a 30-minute interview with report- records show Cogen canceled his reserva- Manhas applied for the job. She listed as one an intimate relationship.” Cogen said he ers from WW and The Oregonian on July tion in March and rebooked a $249 room of her two references Cogen, the county’s didn’t violate those rules because Manhas 16, Cogen made a series of claims about at the Loews Atlanta Hotel six blocks away, highest-ranking official. reports to health department director Lilhis relationship with Manhas and whether specifying that he wanted a king-size bed. The process was not as Cogen charac- lian Shirley, who in turn reports to county it played a role in her promotion and her Manhas’ calendar shows she took a vaca- terized it. Unusually for a position that Chief Administrative Officer Joanne Fuller, department’s business. tion April 9-11, when Cogen was in Atlanta. pays six figures, the job was an internal who reports to Cogen. In the week since that interview, emails, Late on July 23, both Manhas and posting, which meant Multnomah County “She is not my subordinate,” Cogen told calendars and additional reporting show Cogen acknowledged they went to Atlanta employees only could apply. That immedi- WW. “She doesn’t report to me.” a number of the claims Cogen made about in April—suggesting Cogen’s memory ately disqualified two of the five applicants. The records show: Cogen is technically his affair with Manhas, 40, were either only is short. Of the remaining three candidates, two correct that Manhas did not report directly partially true or outright falsehoods. dropped out before the interview process. to him. But in practical terms, they worked Cogen’s shaky story casts doubt on his Cogen’s claim: Cogen says Manhas’ pro- That left only Manhas in the running—she closely. Two months before she applied for fitness to lead Oregon’s largest county. motion resulted from a fair and open pro- got the job and a 20 percent pay increase, the job promotion, in April 2012, Manhas It also raises questions about some of cess, and that she won her job competively. to $98,517. wrote Cogen and asked to report to him. Willamette Week JULY 24, 2013 wweek.com
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MULTNOMAH COUNTY
“At this point,” she wrote, “my thought is I land in your office one day a week to attend and share information about your staff meetings. Depending on [chief of staff ] Marissa [Madrigal]’s input, I’d be open to two days.” Cogen wrote back he preferred she visit two days a week, but he would “totally defer to you on what feels right.” Their collaboration was not an isolated incident. Records released by the county last week included dozens of instances in which they discussed a range of policies; worked jointly on talking points and strategy; and, in some cases, arranged to cut Manhas’ boss, Shirley, out of the communications loop. On Aug. 30, 2012, for example, Manhas warned Cogen that Shirley might visit him with concerns that staff members were “slowing down the process” on anti-tobacco policy. “Maybe when she brings it up, you can reinforce (as I also said) that you want to pace with BPA ban first [Bisphenol A is a toxic chemical used in some plastics]—nothing to do with our capacity. Is that okay?” Cogen replied he was happy to tell her boss he was to blame. “Don’t worry,” he wrote, “I’ll make it clear to Lillian that the decision to slow down was my political instinct not the fabulous program staff who made it clear they would meet whatever crazy timeline I imposed on them! :)” She wrote him back to say thanks. “Sometimes this stuff gets weird…,” Manhas wrote to Cogen. “another reason I
M U LT N O M A H C O U N T Y
NEWS
would rather work directly for you :))” Emails show multiple occasions when Manhas wrote Cogen to run health department programs by him personally—on two occasions explicitly noting that she wanted his top policy adviser, Emerald Bogue, not to know about their conversations. On June 23, 2013, Manhas forwarded Cogen an email from Bogue thanking Manhas for writing a policy brief on antitobacco efforts. “Look how sweet Emerald is!” Manhas wrote him. “This is why how we navigate our roles with tobacco is so important to me—it’s so key that she thinks it’s your call.” Cogen’s claim: His affair with Manhas didn’t affect county business. “My personal private relationship with her was inappropriate,” he said, “but it didn’t cross over into helping her in an inappropriate way at work.” The records show: It’s not clear whether Cogen fell in love with Manhas or her priorities, but it is clear she advised Cogen frequently—emailing him suggestions on high-profile policy decisions, including a ban on the chemical BPA, the pursuit of a tobacco tax, a ban on coal trains, and the fluoridation of Portland’s water. Cogen also championed Manhas’ projects in the health department—especially programs on exercise and healthy food. He appeared on public-access television in December 2011 to talk about fighting child hunger—after getting his talking points in a one-on-one meeting with Manhas.
SONIA MANHAS: The county health department’s director of policy and planning confirmed to WW on July 23 she traveled to Atlanta with Cogen in April—undermining his earlier story.
On Jan. 4, 2013, Manhas emailed two members of Cogen’s staff, asking whether she should include the Multnomah Food Summit in her budget—then emailed him alone a minute later, asking him to weigh in. “Okee dokee,” he replied. “Let’s chat.” Five months later, Cogen’s proposed county budget doubled general fund money for food and wellness programs, including the Multnomah Food Summit. It added $462,000 in county money to replace an expiring federal grant. As recently as this month, Manhas
continued to exert influence on Cogen. On July 1, 2013, she wrote him to warn that Commissioner Diane McKeel was raising questions about the healthy food and beverage guidelines Manhas oversees. “Likely will be fine,” Manhas wrote, “but I may ask for your help to assure her these are reasonable steps to take [regarding] good stewardship of public funds. I do expect employee blow back.” Cogen replied two minutes later. “Got it,” he wrote. “Just let me know what you want me to do… :)”
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BEST OF PORT LAND Anytime a Willy Week writer discovers something awesome in Portland, we fashion a way to write about it. We’re pretty good at this—almost every issue finds us declaring something or other to be the best in Portland, as you can see from the story on page 39. Occasionally, we are thwarted. Sometimes that’s because we want to write about something that’s existed for some time before we noticed it (Underwater hockey, page 33) or because other WW writers have been writing about it for 20 years (Sherman Jackson, page 13) or because there’s just no way to write a normal newspaper story about it (Rocky the raccoon, page 16). When this happens, our minds start to tingle. Eventually, there is a burning sensation. Thus, our annual Best of Portland issue. For us, this week is a salve. Thanks to this 72-page pressure valve, we finally get to write about all those things we otherwise have no excuse to write about. For you, we hope, it’s a spotlight on amusing and strangely captivating (best traffic stop, page 14) things you’ve never noticed. No matter how long you’ve lived in this exceptional corner of the world, no matter how hard you’ve worked to keep up, here you will learn something you never knew existed. So, here’s to Portland’s best toilet, unicycle gang, marijuana strain, police horse and 40 others. Thanks again—we needed that.
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Willamette Week JULY 24, 2013 wweek.com
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AUGUST 2013
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On the Corner of NE 42nd & Alberta Court
LIVE MUSIC, CRUISE-IN FOR THE CURE, BEER GARDEN, VENDOR BOOTHS & ACTIVITIES FOR KIDS! Many, many THANKS to our awesome sponsors and contributors!
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PEOPLE R O N I T FA H L
BEST
Sherman Jackson at Platinum Fade Salon.
DRUG KINGPINTURNED-BARBER
BEST
In the 1970s, Sherman Jackson ran possibly the biggest heroin ring in Portland’s history. Today, Jackson runs a spotless barbershop in Northeast Portland called Platinum Fade Salon (5010 NE 9th Ave., 284-2989, platinumfadesalon.com). The walls are yellow-gold, the floor shines, and the 12 workstations gleam. He keeps a bowl of taffy on the counter, and he greets both staff and customers with pound hugs and cheek kisses. He pulls out a ragged file folder filled with photocopies of decades-old Oregonian and WW articles about his criminal record. “They keep me on track,” Jackson says, gesturing to the tattered copies. Now 65, Jackson spent close to 15 years in federal prison for conspiracy and money-laundering, all related to his role as a drug kingpin in Portland in the ’70s and ’80s. Back then, the Oakland-born, Portland-raised Jackson wore natty pinstripe suits and owned several cars, including a Rolls-Royce (customized with lamb’swool carpeting and a telephone) and a Corvette. These days, he wears a black apron slung over a polo shirt and jeans, and he’s got just one car, a green 1998 Corvette. He’s still got a slight limp, though, from when he was shot, four times, in 1989. Barbering, Jackson says, was always his preferred path. He’d first learned the trade while serving time in California, and he’d run a barbershop even when dealing heroin and cocaine in the ’80s. “When I was locked up, I told everybody, ‘You’re going to see me on TV,’” he says. “I said, ‘I’m going to open my own shop. I’m going to have TV commercials.’ Everybody doubted me. But I did what I said I was going to do. It’s been hard, it’s been a struggle with the economy, but I’m
still here.” In the 11 years since he was released, and the seven and a half since he opened Platinum Fade, Jackson says he’s not gotten so much as a ticket for jaywalking. He’s forthcoming about his past, and he spends time visiting kids in churches and juvenile detention, urging them not to follow his example. “Being a black person back then, there was nothing to do but to sell drugs,” he says. “But I’m not proud of what I did. I was selling that poison into my community.” Despite this candor, he insistently turns conversation back to the present: “Why do you keep going back to the bad stuff?” he asks. “I want to talk about the good stuff. The only thing about me now, I work. I cut hair. I cut hair instead of cutting dope. That’s the difference.” REBECCA JACOBSON.
DISPLAY OF CITIZENSHIP
BEST
Most mornings, before Portland City Hall opens for the day, the sidewalks outside are swept clean of the debris left by the homeless people who pitch their sleeping bags along Southwest 4th Avenue. The man who sweeps up does not work for the city and receives no pay. He’s known to City Hall security as Joe, but to Joe’s neighbors at the Right 2 Dream Too homeless camp, he’s “Hayseed.” A tall man with a long white beard and bright blue eyes, Joe is also very shy. “I’m not different than anyone else here,” he says declining an interview on the corner of Southwest 4th Avenue and Jefferson Street. “I just get caught more.” But security guards say he’s more frequent and regular than others. There’s no apparent meaning or ritual, says Angela, who sleeps on the streets Joe sweeps, it’s just about keeping the sidewalk clean. “He uses his money
to bring us coffee every morning and candles at night,” Angela says. Angela says Joe started sweeping during the Occupy movement, where two neighboring parks became campsites for hundreds of activists and homeless people. After Occupy was tossed from the parks, he moved across the street, to the sidewalk he now sweeps. “He is one of three people who held down the fort here the entire winter,” Angela says. Joe has since relocated to the Right 2 Dream Too camp on West Burnside Steet. During the day, he stands outside City Hall, talking to people about their problems. He listens, then he gives them stamped and addressed postcards so they can send their complaints to the governor. Sometimes, when he needs a break, he disappears into the woods for a couple weeks. “It’s like when you fight with your family and you don’t want to see them for awhile,” says Graham, a fellow homeless man. Eventually, Joe comes back, bringing his broom and fresh cups of coffee. “He is a really good human being,” Angela says. “Things are better with him here.” EMILY SCHIOLA.
ELEVATOR OPERATOR
BEST
When you first step into the Oregon City Municipal Elevator, you might not notice the operator tucked away behind a plastic partition in the corner. But when Steve Brenner is working, you won’t miss him for long, as the 63-year-old quickly meets every rider with a toothy grin and a warm greeting. Seven people split time pushing buttons at the elevator in Oregon City (orcity.org/publicworks/municipalelevator), but hope you’ll get Brenner, who makes himself Willamette Week JULY 24, 2013 wweek.com
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PEOPLE CONT.
R O N I T FA H L
BEST
bread, still steaming as the aluminum foil is unwrapped. Many don’t even know what they’ll be seeing. Once, a tired-looking woman turned to me. “Do you think it’s going to be violent?” she asked. It was a war film. She left during the opening credits…after waiting in line for 90 minutes. Week after week, the same faces populate the same seats. They shout to one another from opposite sides of the theater. When the movie’s done, the studio conducts an exit poll, and Mafia members nearly always give an emphatic thumbs up. They populate a strange world where, finally, Marmaduke and The Master coexist. These folks have become the lifeblood of these screenings in Portland, a Dixie-cup-toting army unto themselves. Rain or shine, they’ll be there. And if you’re ever looking for a sip of soda during a particularly awesome screening of the new Chipmunks movie, they’ve got your back. AP KRYZA.
BEST
Oregon City Municipal Elevator operator Steve Brenner.
valuable to people riding between the upper and lower sections of this Portland suburb, which is divided by a basalt cliff. “I’ve done a lot of things, and it’s the most fun job I’ve ever had,” says Brenner. “It’s like being a 30-second bartender—you get to hear all of the stories, only they’re considerably shorter.” Some of those stories come from the lawyers and policemen traveling to the courthouse every day, business owners headed to and from work, or tourists interested in the “spaceship-looking thing” they saw from the highway, which is the elevator’s upper observation deck, a minimuseum that resembles a flying saucer. While Brenner enjoys hearing riders’ stories, he also likes talking about the elevator—all part of the job description. Ask a question, and he probably knows the answer. The elevator was built in 1914 and originally powered by water, he explains. It used to take up to 15 minutes to scale the 90-foot cliff separating Oregon City’s lower business district from its courthouse and topside neighborhoods, he says. He sure is glad the elevator now takes only 30 seconds, he jokes. KAITIE TODD.
BEST
CHEAPSKATES
They’re there, rain or shine, day or night, to support their favorite stars. It could be 9 o’clock on a rainy Saturday
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morning in Tigard, or 5 pm at the Lloyd Center. Never mind the Timbers Army. These are the city’s most die-hard fans...and they’re actually there for Die Hard. They’re the Movie Pass Mafia. Who are these people who flock instinctively to see anything from World War Z to The Oogieloves? They’re me. They’re you. They’re of all ages and races. And they come packing Regal Rewards cards. Every week, studios host advance movie screenings for critics. But there’s no sense in booking a whole theater just for a bunch of nerds with notepads. So the studios fill the theater with holders of free passes, given out on the radio, at newspaper offices and online. These screening junkies—“passholes,” as the surlier critics call them—have formed their own community around waiting in line. They’ll camp outside theaters for hours just to get their fix. Since seating isn’t guaranteed, they hit the multiplex and camp out for what is essentially the cinematic equivalent of tailgating. Once inside, an outsider might feel like they’ve walked into a private party as this interconnected community—who hit the Web to share screening locations and concession coupons—walks from row to row, sharing whatever discounted goodies they’ve nabbed (one refillable Coke, for instance, goes a long way when divided between a dozen tiny cups). Some are known to bring freshly baked banana
TRAFFIC BREAK
Dancing is a sweat job, Astaire used to say. That’s doubly true for Travis Crowdon’s smoothly athletic variant of break dancing. Surrendering his body to an endlessly regenerative kinetic spiral from the moment his headphones begin blaring Wild 107.5, he can achieve grace not with smoothness, but with exhaustive physicality. Today, the slight-of-stature 23-year-old is advertising the new Analog Cafe on Southeast Hawthorne Boulevard. He was recruited to work outside the venue by owner Donnie Rife, who was mesmerized by Crowdon’s routines for a Foster Boulevard furniture showroom catering mostly to Russians. You may have also seen him shaker-boarding outside Little Caesar’s Pizza outlets, which we’re wholly ready to believe he’s single-handedly kept afloat. Portland’s finest practitioner of the break-dancing sign-spinner routine essentially created his own position a few years back; his distaste for one particularly dead-eyed mascot led to an impromptu class in proper promotion of commerce. He is a street team of one, eschewing special outfits or props beyond cardboard signage highlighting the business. He is a miracle worker, too: The Portland native has evidently repopulated a dizzying array of traffic-starved establishments across the city through his relentlessly effervescent approach. Absent external musical accompaniment, Crowdon’s faintly repetitive performance requires a certain patience before the irrepressible delight asserts itself. He works in ways that a target audience headed the opposite direction at 30 mph can’t possibly appreciate. Disinclined to pursue competitive dance-offs (should they exist), Crowdon has given voice to only one dream: to found a studio one day for disadvantaged youth. Rife, the Analog founder who is also the founding frontman of longlived local shock-poppers Smoochknob, has announced plans to record an EP of Crowdon’s hip-hop stylings for limited release. Intuitive body agility hardly guarantees lyrical flow, of course, but, even without hearing the CD, we bet the release party will draw quite a crowd. JAY HORTON.
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ANIMALS A N N A J AY E G O E L L N E R
BEST
Zeus, the boss horse.
BEST
RACCOON
Rocky the raccoon has figured something out: If you hang around humans while they drink beer and eat peanuts, they will share their peanuts. Rocky has also discovered the perfect place to put his life plan into action: the shady picnic tables circling the fire pit outside the Little Red Shed at McMenamins Edgefield (2126 SW Halsey Street, Troutdale, 669-8610, mcmenamins.com). Inside the shack, intelligent furless mammals purchase cigars, beer, wine and 75-cent cups of peanuts. Outside, where they sit smoking their cigars and drinking their Ruby Ales, a furry and even more intelligent mammal approaches. Hey buddy, can you spare a peanut? Rocky seems to say, though he does not actually speak. What are you going to do, claim you don’t have a peanut? He can see the peanuts. He looks unwell, all rings and bones. He has a slow, graceless gait. Perhaps it’s unwise for him to subsist on a single fatty and nutrient-thin foodstuff, you think. Maybe he should be out digging up grubs instead of begging for goobers. Hey, man, it’s just one peanut. Everyone else is giving him peanuts. But are you really helping him by giving him a peanut, or should you offer to get him something more nourishing? He stares. Just give him the peanut, 16
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everyone around you seems to say, though they do not speak. It’s not your problem, you decide, and you give him the peanut. You watch as Rocky works the crowd. He comes right up to an old biker dude in a leather vest to take a peanut. He does not appear to feel degraded by the skittish teenage boy, who, perhaps put off by Rocky’s mangy appearance, tosses a peanut into the bushes. Rocky makes his rounds for 10 minutes. A family arrives, eyeing Rocky warily. They hang back, huddled around their one sad little cup of peanuts, seemingly ready to guard it with a stomp or a loud “Hey!” if necessary. The son, who looks to be about 5, starts to approach Rocky with a peanut. “Hey, sweetie, stay over here,” Mom says, her voice rising. “You don’t want to get too close to the animal or it could bite you.” Ugh, you think, like Rocky would ever dream of ripping this stupid little kid’s face off. He just wants a peanut. If he bit her kid, he’d probably have his head chopped off for a rabies test. Around here we share. Just give him the peanut. MARTIN CIZMAR.
BEST
HORSE
Look at this fucking horse. Look at him. This horse is boss horse. And he’s a cop. He’s glorious. This is Zeus, the leader of the Portland Police Bureau’s gang of eight
horses. One day this badass horse is patrolling downtown streets, bustin’ up drug deals, and the next he’s getting all fancy, leading the Rose Parade and making all the kiddies smile. (Even though he’s a hardass, Zeus loves kids.) Zeus is half Clydesdale—the same breed as those Budweiser horses that kick footballs—and he’s frickin’ huge. Zeus is all muscle, too. Not like Murphy, the tubby underdog whose epic struggle to earn his police badge was chronicled by Tom Hallman Jr. in The Oregonian this year. Zeus doesn’t need a Pulitzer-winning publicist. He’s Zeus. See, when Zeus came to run the mounted patrol’s show three years ago, he was already the real deal—no Jillian Michaels tapes needed. Since then, Zeus has been involved in hundreds of arrests, and even gets into the action when Officer Ryan Albertson, his crime-fighting partner, searches perps. Oh yeah, and unlike that chubby oaf Murphy, Zeus faced off with Timber Joey in a soccer match—and won. What could Murphy the show pony beat Timber Joey at? An oat-eating contest. Maybe. With a mere flick of his super-awesome ear or a sidelong glance, Zeus puts all of his other equine cops on point. “It’s like a prison yard, if he walks over to a spot, the other horses leave,” says Albertson, who has ridden the all-mighty Zeus for the past 18 months.
We pity any suckers who don’t know that this big, beautiful, black picture of absolute fucking equine perfection is really the best goddamn horse in the city. “Everyone respects him,” Albertson says. “He’s Zeus; he’s the God of horses.” ANDREA DAMEWOOD.
BEST
DOG ANTIDEPRESSANT
Insomnia struck Max Marvin two years ago. He struggled with different remedies until a sleep therapist recommended a lighttherapy lamp that beams full-spectrum light into a room at 10,000 lux—roughly the equivalent of a sunny day. It wasn’t just Marvin who benefited, though: He soon realized his 6-year-old golden retriever, Luke, was basking in the glow. A “middle-aged” dog, Marvin says, Luke got “a bit lethargic in the winter.” Every time Marvin fired up the light-therapy lamp, he’d find Luke “on his back, intently gazing at the light.” So Marvin, a 22-year-old downtown Portland resident, invented the Sol Box, a light-therapy lamp especially for pets. Last November, Marvin’s company, Pawsitive Lighting (pawsitivelighting.com), went live, selling the coffeemaker-sized rectangular lamp for $149 to pet owners around the world. “It’s a fantastic way to wake up,” Marvin says. “In the morning, you turn it on, have a cup of coffee, read the news, and your dog can do the same.” ALEX BLUM.
TRUTH ABOUT CATS AND DOGS
BEST
Sierra is looking for love. Mitchell’s braver self is showing through, and he dreams of a happy ending. Pit bull Kenzo is “definitely a looker,” and Clooney, a young chocolate Lab, is active and “very sweet.” Meanwhile, the printed descriptions of tomcats Otis and Sammy read more like a police blotter, detailing their hair color and age and where they were last seen. The side door of Meat for Cats and Dogs (2205 E Burnside St., 236-6971, meatforcatsanddogs.com), a raw-food store for pets, is a public bulletin board set up to help pets find new homes and owners to find their wandering pets. A pattern quickly becomes obvious: All of the cats have run away from their owners, while all of the dogs have been abandoned. It seems at first a lesson in the nature of affection—those who need it most are doomed, while those who take it for granted are desperately chased. Are you Uma Thurman or Janeane Garofalo, cat or dog? If you pay attention, you’ll see one or two of the tearsheet phone numbers disappear from a sign—and, a little later, the sign will go away. It’s like reading a romance novel in semaphore. MATTHEW KORFHAGE.
BEST
BEEKEEPER
If you notice a buzzing sound near Six Days Art Co-op (2724 NE Alberta St., 280-6329, sixdaysart.com), don’t be alarmed: It’s just Brian Lacy’s bees. He has installed a Plexiglas observation hive in the window of the gallery. The denizens fly in and out of the building via a 14-foot wooden chimney. “I’ve got it covered right now,” Lacy says, “because they’re still getting used to their new environment.” Lacy is not merely an organic beekeeper, but the cause of organic beekeeping in others, offering coaching to hive-minded novices with his educational business Live Honeybees (9752391, livehoneybees.com). He’s on a crusade to make backyard beekeeping an alternative to the commercial colonies that have collapsed in recent years. Joke all you want about bees being the new chickens, but this isn’t Lacy’s first trip to the forefront of a burgeoning Portland trend. He co-founded the Community Cycling Center in 1996, back when bicycles were still outside the city’s mainstream culture. Running Live Honeybees for the past three years, he now gets stung about 20 times a month as he brings organic beekeeping to the Rose City. Not that he’ll need to go far: This year, he discovered that a colony of honeybees is living inside a metal girder of the Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall’s iconic neon “PORTLAND” marquee. “There’s this self-sustaining colony totally in the center of Portland,” Lacy says. “To me, it’s kind of symbolic.” AARON MESH. Willamette Week JULY 24, 2013 wweek.com
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VOTED WEIRDEST SHOE STORE IN PORTLAND
K I T S C H Y K I T S C H Y BOOM BOOM LIZ
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ART E VA N J O H N S O N
BEST
“$pon$or$ Needed”
BEST
BILLBOARD
As you exit Highway 30 into the Northwest Industrial District and take a left onto 23rd Avenue at Vaughn Street, you are greeted by a lovely and intricate community mural on the side of a scooter shop. It seems to depict—in idealized form—the market district one block away, at 24th Avenue and Thurman Street. Saint Honore bakery and Food Front are vaguely recognizable, though subtly improved and a bit Romanesque. The industrial intersection, empty of two-dimensional pedestrians, has people colored in on the wall. Painted on the left side of the mural are the words, “$pon$or$ Needed, 503-222-3779.” The wall has reimagined itself as a better version of its own surroundings, and advertises only itself. It’s like a combination of community spirit and reality TV. Which is to say, it is the most honest wall in all of Portland. MATTHEW KORFHAGE.
BEST
STATUE
“I envision this eagle soaring through the ancient native hunting grounds,” Rip Caswell writes. “Its keen eyes watching over the sacred land and protecting the everpresent spirits of the Native Americans.” Caswell wrote this statement to accompany Guardian Spirit, a 14-foot bronze on Monterey Avenue and Stevens Road in Happy Valley’s Eagle Landing development. One look at the massive bald eagle screeching from a boulder, eyes alert and talons extended before a billowing American flag, and you’d be hard-pressed to disagree. Portland has public art on almost every corner, but none that so aptly sums up a shared worldview. This statue, which sits among very large new homes, above a megachurch and shopping mall, is a statement of purpose for Clackamas County. Caswell, based in Troutdale, created it in the likeness of the eagles he mounted as a taxidermist. “There’s something about those eagles that exude power and
grace all at the same time,” he says. Besides the big bird, Caswell designed life-size eagle heads to watch over every home in the Eagle Landing development. Caswell says he has received letters of appreciation, and knows some people even pull over at the roundabout where Guardian Spirit sits to marvel at it. “It was exciting to get to do that project and capture the spirit of the American bald eagle,” he says. HALEY MARTIN.
ROCK-’N’-ROLL PORTRAIT GALLERY
BEST
When McMenamins bought the historic gay bathhouse Club Portland in 2007, it wasted no time changing its theme from man-on-man to rock ’n’ roll. Today it’s known as the Crystal Hotel (303 SW 12th Ave., 972-2650, mcmenamins.com/crystalhotel), and each of its 51 customdecorated rooms is painted in the theme of a song by a band that once played at the nearby Crystal Ballroom. The hotel’s hallways are filled with photos of bands in concert and classic-rock posters from the distant past. In just five months, McMenamins transformed rooms based on bands like the Pretenders, Reverend Horton Heat and the Grateful Dead. As customers are paying to sleep in the rooms, you can’t just tour them. I was only allowed to see room 201, based on the song “Big Dipper” by Idaho indie-rock band Built to Spill. The room was designed by Eona Lorberbaum and Boise concert-poster artist Ben Wilson, who has painted many posters for BTS gigs; it’s got a headboard depicting a guy with a guitar riding a brontosaurus, which must have stood a thousand miles high, laying on its side up in the sky. RICHARD GRUNERT.
FLOWER ARRANGEMENTS (HAT AND SHOE DIVISION)
BEST
“I just like to do things that are outside the box,” says florist Francoise Weeks. “It would be quite boring to
just do vase arrangements.” This is how Weeks describes her European floral-design business ( francoiseweeks. com), which finds her making eccentric arrangements to adorn high-heeled shoes and be worn as hats. Weeks works in a Southeast Portland home that looks like it was built in an overgrown meadow. A cheerful woman in a baggy green sweater with shoulder-length white hair and a Belgian accent, Weeks didn’t own a pair of heels until age 59. She didn’t wear dainty pumps, but turned them into a canvas, covering them in delicate orchid and poppy petals, with sprigs of green swirling whimsically up toward an invisible ankle. Weeks also makes “botanical headpieces” from spiky succulents, spongy moss, berries and tall leaves. The pieces are arranged in the shape of a massive hat—creations far too large and outrageous for any vase. HALEY MARTIN.
BEST
WEATHER VANE
No matter which way the wind is blowing above Dr. May Chang ’s office (1744 NE 42nd Ave. 287-0072, maychangdds.com), it’s always pointed in the direction of dental health. High over the Hollywood District, the city’s most awe-inspiring and truly bizarre weather vane flits in the wind: a gold-leaf tooth perched proudly on a toothbrush with a fresh dab of paste on its bristles. The vane has graced the roof of her dental office on Northeast 42nd Avenue just off of Sandy Boulevard for about 15 years, but Chang says most people don’t seem to notice the toothy wonder. While it’s quirky, it also suits her specialty: gold fillings and restorations. Chang, a dentist for more than 30 years, supplied photos of teeth to the vane’s creator, local sign-shop owner Lee Littlewood, for enameled inspiration. Littlewood carved the vane out of Styrofoam and covered it in gold leaf. Next time you’re running from the Hollywood Theatre to Trader Joe’s, stop and listen to the whispering of the wind: Dooooon’t fooooooorget to floooossssss. ANDREA DAMEWOOD. Willamette Week JULY 24, 2013 wweek.com
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SIGHTS R O N I T FA H L
BEST
NARNIAN LAMPPOST
BEST
The slopes of volcanic cone Mount Tabor are dotted with iconic lampposts—but only one is so whimsically placed that it recalls the children’s books of C.S. Lewis. Fans of the Narnia stories—you know, the ones where a lion is Jesus—will remember that little Lucy Pevensie meets a talking faun called Mr. Tumnus beside a gas streetlamp in the middle of a forest. The lamp in Mount Tabor Park, planted above the city’s Reservoir 5, is similarly remote: It marks the intersection of three steep trails in a glen of firs, with no other sign of habitation in sight. Teenagers have long recognized this as a place of magic, scrawling messages on the concrete lamppost about the various illicit, hallucinogenic substances they have smoked there, along with a cartoon drawing of a giant squid. One visitor has left a message that is probably not a Christian allegory: “TXT ME DICK PICS!” AARON MESH.
CITY WITHIN THE CITY
BEST
Cars made Maywood Park, but bikes sustain it. In 1967, when I-205 was being plotted through residential areas around Portland, the inhabitants of a particularly nice subdivision in Portland’s Parkrose neighborhood opposed the construction. Because the feds had promised not to build freeways through cities that didn’t want them, the neighborhood incorporated into a separate city, called Maywood Park (cityofmaywoodpark.com). The scheme didn’t work, and half the neighborhood was razed for the freeway. But the 700-person burg left untouched behind a noise wall out-Portlanded Portland, erecting a glorious monument to passive-aggression along the only thoroughfare it wishes to claim, the bike path laid next to the hated freeway. To call Maywood Park’s impeccably landscaped knolls the “nicest section of the bike path” is to undersell the city. This little Mayberry exists apart from everything around it, sitting comfortably on a soft carpet of grass, protected by thick hedges and shaded by towering old-growth trees. You ride through to find every home well-kept and every resident smiling. “You see that, Portland?” Maywood Park telegraphs over the soft din of freeway traffic. “We won.” MARTIN CIZMAR.
BEST
Haters gonna hate—except when they spend 72 pages telling you about the things they like. Never fear, Internet trolls: Once this issue is off the stands, Willamette Week’s staff of old cranks and cynical hipsters will resume shitting on everything. Sometimes, though, our disdain can be hard to decipher. @WWeekHatesIt, a Twitter page that appeared online in late May, cuts through all the big numbers and fancy talk and gets straight to the heart of exactly what it is we’re turning up our noses at. “Campaigns spend money on things? Well, @wweek hates it!” read the first dispatch, linking to a story on profluoride campaign contributions. “A bunch of bohemians suck at keeping order? Well, @wweek hates it!” went another tweet, in regard to a Web post about Mayor Charlie Hales’ attempt to clean up Last Thursday. Occasionally, our righteous indignation has been met with support: In response to a piece pranking bakeries that refused to serve gay couples, it was said that “@ wweek AWESOMELY hates it!” Should we be offended that some armchair satirist is reducing 40 years of hardnosed local journalism to blind curmudgeonry? Maybe. But in this modern age, imitation Twitter accounts are the sincerest form of flattery. @WWeekHatesIt? Well, WW likes it. And now, in atonement for that last sentence, I will write 3,500 words on why puppies are assholes. MATTHEW SINGER.
Next stop, Narnia.
BEST
TOILET
It took a toilet to finally convince me that robots will someday rule the world. Plunking down on a warm toilet seat is typically a bad sign when you’re a lady: Warm usually also means wet. But after polishing off a 22-ounce Kirin Ichiban at Shigezo (910 SW Salmon St., 688-5202, shigezo-pdx.com), I learned that warm can also be wonderful, and that Japanese loos are magical. That night, the imported Toto Washlet was cradling my cheeks as I
sat next to a potted plant and a piece of Asian art. This Tempurpedic of toilets provides more controls than the average cockpit, with options for bidet and rearend water streams that I fiddled with for perfect pressure. When done, an air fan softly dried my delicate bits. Both Shigezo locations have the Toto Washlet in the ladies’ room; the newer Yataimura Maru spinoff on Southeast Division Street also has one in the men’s room. To which I say, domo arigato. ANDREA DAMEWOOD. Willamette Week JULY 24, 2013 wweek.com
21
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Willamette Week JULY 24, 2013 wweek.com
Processed Ingredients: • • • • • •
8 shallots 2 cloves garlic 2 cm galangal or blue ginger 2 cm kencur or lesser galangal 1 teaspoon coriander seeds 1 cm fresh turmeric Mince all ingredients until they turn into a smooth paste. DO NOT FRY
1. Mix both fish & shrimp in food processor until smooth. Mix in desicated coconut. Add 3 tablespoons of thick coconut milk. 2. Add processed ingredients, mix well. Add salt & sugar to taste. 3. If the mixture is still too dry, you may add 1 egg white and a bit of olive oil. 4. Shape the mixture on sate sticks/ lemongrass stalk, flatten slightly. 5. Charcoal grill sate until light brown and cooked through.
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R O N I T FA H L
BEST
Kevin von Behren behind the bar at his backyard tea house.
MENU BRAG
The beige paper menus at Dockside Saloon & R e st a u r a n t (2047 NW Front Ave., 241-6433, docksidesaloon.com) are as faded and peeling as the longshoremen drinking shots in the shanty bar within spitting distance of the Fremont Bridge. But a keen seafarer’s eye can still make out the legend printed behind the varieties of omelets: “Our real claim to fame was the finding of the Tonya Harding garbage that was to be the downfall of the Olympic skater.” In an account taking up its full back page, the menu takes patrons back to the heady days of 1994, when local figure skater Harding was suspected of ordering the kneecapping of Lillehammer Winter Olympics rival Nancy Kerrigan. Harding’s ex-husband Jeff Gillooly made the miscalculation of dropping written evidence of the conspiracy into the Dockside dumpster—which was closely monitored by owner Kathy Peterson, who turned the trash over to the FBI. The menu offers this as a cautionary tale about not driving an extra five miles to the Metro garbage transfer station, and concludes: “We joke that we’re best known for our garbage, but we think our food is pretty darned good.” AARON MESH.
BACKYARD TEAHOUSE
BEST
Arati von Behren is a lucid dreamer. The plans for Fly Awake Tea Garden (3514 NE 13th Ave., 867-8905, flyawakepdx.com) originated in a dream she had a few years back. “If you sit here for a while, you’ll notice lots of stuff going on,” says von Behren’s husband, Kevin, leaning against his wooden tea bar equipped with wheels and propane hookup. “She dreamed the whole thing.” The “whole thing ” is a propane stove, chocolate truffles, bananas, a wooden tea bar, an Audubon Society
certified platinum garden (mostly ferns and herbs) and a picnic table. Oolong tea is served in 6-ounce cups ($3 a pot). The tea bar is stationed in front of Kevin von Behren’s former glass-blowing studio and his current garage, and the teas come from high-altitude regions in Argentina, China and India. Fly Awake’s slogan, “This is a dream,” appears on a drawing of a limp hand. “Check yourself as you leave,” Kevin says, “you might feel a bit...” He raises his arms and dangles his hands above his head— as if this were the best way to describe his backyard. JOE DONOVAN.
R O N I T FA H L
BEST
SUMMER COCKTAIL
BEST
Column inches and blog posts galore have been expended touting the virtues of the sandwich menu at Bunk Bar (1028 SE Water Ave., 894-9708, bunkbar. com). Yet, when it comes to what is potentially the restaurant’s greatest creation, the Iceberg, the world has been strangely silent. Perhaps it is the simple ingredients of the recipe that have thrown people: a pint of Rainier topped with a splash of frozen margarita. It’s a brilliant conceit, with the sharp sweetness of the latter canceling out the bite of the former, and conversely, the swell of the beer tamping down the margarita’s enamelthreatening tang. When the real heat of the summer hits Portland, I can think of no better refresher than this marvel. Moderation is key, not only due to its price ($6) but also because the Iceberg’s alcohol sneaks up on you fast. ROBERT HAM.
MARIJUANA STRAIN
BEST
Sour Diesel, you citrusy temptress. You’re crisp satin between my thumb and forefinger, and the way your
The Iceberg at Bunk Bar.
lemongrass aroma wafts across my tongue is...well, it’s nice, but it’s still smoke. This sativa-heavy strain, which I get through Clear Mind Medical in Vancouver (clearmindmedical.com) for fully certified medical purposes, swept the East Coast in the early naughts, which isn’t surprising since it provides an alert, creative float of a high. Mainly what’s great is you can carry on in social situations just as easily (and maybe more easily) as ever. There may be better sativa subtypes out there, but I’ve yet to find them. Just think: Soon you’ll only have to cross the river to buy it from a store. ZAP ROWSDOWER. Willamette Week JULY 24, 2013 wweek.com
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BEST
MUSIC S K O T C O A T S W R O T H P H O T O G R A P H Y. C O M
BEST
CHOIR
You’re home alone, listening to your ’90s alt-rock playlist, when Alanis Morissette’s “You Oughta Know” comes on. Suddenly, you’re belting it out like Uncle Joey just broke your heart yesterday, screeching and yowling with terrifying ferocity. It sounds like dying cats, but it feels damn good. Such unbridled passion rarely erupts in public places without abundant alcohol consumption, but friends Decoteau Wilkerson, Adele Hauser and Paige Reitz have come up with a much more organic way to bring no-boundaries singing out into the open. It’s called A People’s Choir ( facebook.com/APeoplesChoir), a group sing-along in which participants crowd together and sing at the top of their lungs to original recordings of pop songs. The monthly meet-up at the Waypost is like team karaoke—all the sweet release with virtually zero risk of personal embarrassment. “It doesn’t matter how bad you are at singing, you get to be in the choir, because that’s the rules,” she says. “It’s nice to have a place where you can do that as an adult.” The founders say that inclusive attitude, combined with the power of music, hits people somewhere primal. “We sang ‘Creep’ by Radiohead, and there were people almost getting hit by cars because they were running across the street to join up,” says Wilkerson of a choir held at Last Thursday. “All of the sudden, you have this way to bond that didn’t exist when you were just two people walking down the street.” EMILY JENSEN.
FORMER CONCERT PROMOTER
BEST
Before asking Jim Felt about his glory days promoting rock concerts in Portland in the 1960s, it’s best to clear your schedule. Once he gets going, the stories spill out of him like notes from Jerry Garcia’s Les Paul, and you could get through an entire Dick’s Picks box set before he’s done. Not all of them are easy to follow: Felt speaks in such a way that he somehow ends up talking over himself, and his digressions have asides that have their own digressions. He’s got artifacts to match his stories, too. At a location he refuses to disclose, Felt is hoarding a veritable bongload of memorabilia: handbills, photos, ticket stubs, reel-to-reel tapes, old contracts. He’s sitting on a tie-dye goldmine. But, at age 66, Felt, who’s operated a commercial photography studio in Southeast Portland for 39 years, has little interest in cashing in on his past. “I’m not good at selling things,” he says simply. He will talk about it, though. In 1967, fresh out of Portland State University, Felt wandered into the downtown Masonic Temple and convinced the group to let him rent it out. For the next three years, he booked gigs at venues as small as defunct country bar Springer’s Inn and as large as the then-Memorial Coliseum, and rubbed elbows with future icons and martyrs. He went guitar shopping with Eric Clapton. He got in an argument with Ken Kesey for overloading the guest list. He put on an incongruous double bill of the Doors and Glen Campbell, and his mother got stuck chatting with Jim Morrison about his leather pants in an elevator. His girlfriend ran off with Iron Butterfly…twice. As soon as he lost money for the first time—on a big outdoor show he claims was sabotaged by rumors of drug busts—he left the business. “I never got close to them because there was too much to do. What are you going to do, send a postcard? I wasn’t a groupie because I wasn’t interested,” he says. “I’m socially stunted.” MATTHEW SINGER.
BEST
DJ
Sam Adams, Portland’s best DJ, maintains that he is not Portland’s best DJ. “I’m not good,” he says, “but for a good cause I’ll subject myself to public humiliation.” 24
Willamette Week JULY 24, 2013 wweek.com
A People’s Choir
Such modesty is yet another politically savvy move from Portland’s hottest DJ of benefit galas. Sam Adams left office and joined the City Club last year, but the bespectacled former celebumayor remains boss of the dance floor, getting gigs as current Mayor Charlie Hales’ “DJ Sad Eyez” project remains crated. Why? Because DJ Sam Adams draws a crowd and keeps it happy. Which, when you’re a hardworking nonprofit just trying to hustle some skrilla, is what you need. Sam Adams has been spinning for a decade, starting with a gig at downtown Asian fusion joint Saucebox. Since, he’s been goaded to DJ “every now and then.” He got lots of cred from a gig at Jackpot. His last gig was in May at an event for XRAY.FM, a new nonprofit radio station. What does he spin? The stone-cold jams you hear during the morning rush at a Starbucks. Adams’ playlist adheres strictly to jazzy tunes from the early ’60s, stuff like Bobby Timmons Trio to Richard Groove Holmes. “I really like jazz and soul,” Adams says. Now that he’s getting so many gigs, Adams even has a role model, DJ Rev Shines, who mostly spins at Eastside Industrial District bar Produce Row. Shines, Adams says, pairs classic croons with millennium-ready beats. (DJ Sam Adams does not do beats.) ASHLEY JOCZ.
PLACE TO DOWNLOAD ZAMBIAN PSYCH ROCK
BEST
Nick Barbery always wanted to own a record store. He started a blog instead. That wasn’t so much a compromise as a good business decision. If Ghost Capital (ghostcapital.org) were a brick-and-mortar enterprise, it probably wouldn’t last long. What’s the market demand for long-out-of-print copies of Persian piano music,
trippy Caribbean folk and Zambian psych rock anyway? In the free-download market of cyberspace, however, the site is an ethnomusicological treasure trove. Growing up, Barbery was obsessed with the world beyond his upbringing in small-town Virginia. “I was fascinated with borders, cultural diversity, and historical and geographical contours,” he writes in an email. “I guess all that eventually transferred to records.” Eight years ago, Barbery moved to Portland; four years ago, a little after the birth of his son, he finally got his vinyl out of storage. Looking for something to occupy his time after putting the baby to bed, he began ripping his collection of Brazilian batucada, Indian film scores and Syrian pop online. A self-described “mild-mannered contrarian,” Barbery—who does the occasional DJ gig around town and compiles mixtapes for other blogs such as Aquarium Drunkard—says the idea was to explode the notion that the history of popular music begins and ends in the West. “The rough concept for Ghost Capital is something like phantom currency, or hidden value,” he writes. “I guess I enjoy adding to, or even challenging, the commonly accepted musical canons.” MATTHEW SINGER.
MUSIC VENUE (UNLICENSED DIVISION)
BEST
If you’re new to the Portland music scene, you may recognize PALS Clubhouse (palspdx.or) as “that place that kind of looks like a frat house” on Southeast 8th Avenue and Division Street. However, past the rows of battered lawn chairs and lazily painted walls lies a musical paradise, equipped with fire pits, old speakeasy stages and thoughtfully strung lights. CONT. on page 27
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The stars aligned for this place: PALS is nestled in the Eastside Industrial District, between a set of friendly neighbors and train tracks, one of the few close-in spots where such a project could continue in a little beige bungalow for three years without the cops investigating a noise complaint. The house began its road to infamy by throwing themed shindigs, ranging from Robert Burns Day to Lady Gaga spaceship parties. Next thing the PALS crew knew, it’d grown into a threeday festival with 14 bands, two stages and three kegs set up in the cul-de-sac and yard. “We do this because we like this house to be a place where people can come and practice their art or whatever they’re into,” said pal Chris White. “If you come out to a show and are a cool person, you’re part of the PALS community.” They’ve had their bikes stolen. They’ve spent way too long picking up empty beer cans. They’ve let you pee in their bathroom. When the line was too long, they let you pee in their bushes. Oh, and they put together a house festival headlined by WW’s Best New Band 2012, Radiation City, along with Hustle and Drone, and Animal Eyes. ASHLEY JOCZ.
BEST
SIDEMAN
In May, Sam Beam, of acclaimed chamber-folk act Iron and Wine, left his home base in South Carolina, rented a studio at North Portland production facility Audiocinema (226 SE Madison St., 467-4554, audiocinema.org) and flew in his touring band to rehearse for their upcoming North American tour. He went all the way across the country to accommodate one man: Rob Burger. The 42-year-old multi-instrumentalist, who served as musical director on Iron and Wine’s latest album, Ghost on Ghost, was expecting his wife, Mary Mulliken, to deliver their second child at any moment, and refused to leave town. So Beam came to him. Many of Burger’s other collaborators would have done the same. Testimonials on his website, from Lucinda Williams and Calexico’s Joey Burns to jazz musicians Bill Frisell and John Zorn, praise Burger’s invaluable versatility as a musician and arranger. “In fact,” writes Grammy-winning producer Hal Willner, “I think he is a fucking demon who made a deal with Beelzebub and will lose his soul one day, but in the meantime he’s as good as it gets, and I’m lucky to have his phone number.” A child prodigy, Burger—who was born in Brooklyn and moved to Portland less than two years ago—discovered he had perfect pitch at age 5. His parents enrolled him in classical piano lessons with an instructor from Juilliard. As he got older, Burger’s interests expanded into rock ’n’ roll and avant-garde jazz. In San Francisco, he formed the genre-blurring Tin Hat Trio, which led to other studio gigs, appearing on albums by Norah Jones, Beth Orton and Marianne Faithfull, and jobs supporting the likes of Elvis Costello, Lou Reed and Sting on tour. He’s also put out two solo records, combining his boundary-pushing jazz and classical sensibilities with a worldly mélange of folk styles. Those are perhaps the least-known entries on his résumé, but as a kid who grew up poring over liner notes, Burger says he’s just as content seeing his name in the credits as on the cover. “I like to lead, but I’m equally comfortable following,” he says. “The world needs good followers.” MATTHEW SINGER.
BEST
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AM RADIO STATION
Unlike with, oh, every other radio station on the dial, there’s no wrong time of the day to tune in to KBMS 1480 AM. It touts itself in promos as the “home for party blues and oldies,” but there’s so much more. Looking for some uptempo jams to amp you up for an evening out? KBMS is at the ready with a playlist of new and vintage soul, funk and R&B. Want to hear some engaging (and sometimes infuriating) debate about current issues? It broadcasts the Rev. Al Sharpton’s talk show every weekday. Trying to set the mood for some bedroom or backseat boot knockin’? Its late-night selections of “quiet storm” slow jams are there for you. Looking for some soul cleansing after Saturday night’s revelry? Sunday mornings on KBMS are all about heart-stirring gospel tunes and prayer requests. Screw your car-stereo presets: Set your AM dial to 1480 and pry the buttons off. ROBERT HAM
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27
BUYS R O N I T FA H L
BEST
Samantha Hess (little spoon) plying her trade.
CUDDLER (PROFESSIONAL DIVISION)
BEST
Samantha Hess is a touchy person. When I meet the 5-foot-tall, olive-skinned professional cuddler, I extend my hand for a handshake. Instead, she grabs my hand, massages it and asks me to look into her dark brown eyes. “This is how I make people feel comfortable,” she says as I feel my face redden. The Cuddle Up to Me (cuddleuptome.com) owner says her ability to put people at ease is what makes her the best cuddler. And, she adds, “I’m the perfect cuddling size.” Hess, a 29-year-old former personal trainer, charges $35 for a 30-minute cuddling session, $60 for a onehour session or $300 for an overnight session (that’s 10 hours of spooning). Before hugging Hess, you have to sign a waiver acknowledging the sessions are nonsexual and “professional” in nature. “As someone who is very tiny, I need to take extra precaution,” Hess says of the contract. By late July, Hess had 16 clients—all male. “Erections happen,” she says. When they do, Hess says she becomes the big spoon. So far, her most popular cuddle position is something she calls “the blanket.” “I have them lie flat and I just lie on top of them, with my head on their shoulder,” she says. “It seems to be really comfortable for my clients.” Hess came up with her snuggling business after watching a video of two men soliciting hugs. One was holding a “Free Hugs” sign and the other was holding a “Deluxe Hugs, $2” sign. “The guy with the deluxe hugs sign was getting a lot more hugs,” Hess says. She later learned of a woman in New York running a business similar to the 28
Willamette Week JULY 24, 2013 wweek.com
one she wanted to start, called “The Snuggery.” Hess allows her customers to determine her appearance. Upon request, she creates a playlist, nixes her regular perfume, changes her hairstyle or goes barefoot. “Some people are very particular about me wearing socks,” she says. SARA SNEATH.
PLACE TO BUY A USED FORKLIFT, PALLET OF FIRE EXTINGUISHERS OR MICROMETER
BEST
If you love to buy big stuff, old stuff, and not-quite-working stuff, Commercial Industrial Auctioneers (13231 SE Division St., 760-0499, commercialindustrialauctions. com) is your place. Operating on a 5-acre lot at Southeast 132nd Avenue and Division Street, CIA attracts large men in Carhartts kicking tires on oversized forklifts. It also has fleets of backhoes and more excavators, tractors and tools of all descriptions than you can imagine. “The merchandise we sell usually caters to the male gender,” says Ray Beal, a partner in CIA. “Heavy equipment is our bread and butter.” Beal says seven years ago, when he and his partners started the business, their motto was “the CIA you can trust.” But then they realized that might alienate key customers. “I saw a U.S. marshal taking pictures one day,” Beal says. “We do sell to them, and I didn’t want to lose that account.” CIA sells surplus items for Multnomah County,
TriMet, the city of Gresham and other agencies. The company also holds liquidation sales for failed companies’ bankruptcy estates. Beal says a bankruptcy sale yielded his highest-priced item to date—a $145,000 airplane. He also sells items for as little as $2.50—about what an empty fire extinguisher fetches. Every 60 days, CIA offers the public whatever surplus struggling contractors and overstocked government agencies want to get rid of. Buyers need only present valid identification to bid but must pay for their items that day. A well-supplied auction will have 1,200 items on the block, including old cars, power saws and boats that have not seen the water for years. Beal keeps two auctioneers busy, operating from a converted TriMet bus that serves as the auctioneer’s podium. “A bad economy does not hurt us,” Beal says. “We were one of the few companies that prospered in the past five years.” NIGEL JAQUISS.
PLACE TO FEEL LIKE A WRITER
BEST
Typewriters are the new vinyl. And like vinyl, typewriters are often cherished for the wrong reasons. Around Portland, these elegant machines are too often collected rather than used; reduced to funky toys for wedding receptions or exploited as props, posed on knockoff midcentury bookcases next to potted succulents and unread editions of Infinite Jest. For those who still write on typewriters—and we know who we are—there’s only one thing worse than precious stationery stores selling price-gouged Smith Coronas or CONT. on page 31
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29
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BUYS CONT. R O N I T FA H L
BEST
A customer at Control Voltage.
Underwoods: Etsy vultures who make jewelry from sawed-off keys. If you crave the feel of keys smacking paper against a platen—if you understand the very different joys of an Olympia SM-3 versus an SM-9, or why a Hermes 3000 really is the bomb of them all—there’s only one place in Portland to go: Ace Typewriter & Equipment Co. (7433 N Lombard St., 286-2521, acetypewriter.com). This living museum in St. Johns has been operated continuously since 1961 by Dennis McCormack and his son, Matt. Antique business machines (most for display only) stare down, like ancestral oil portraits, at revved-up typewriters for sale at fair prices. People from all over ship their gummed-up Remingtons and bent Olivettis to be repaired here. Still, it’s a wonder this throwback can keep the doors open in our gadget-addicted world. That is, until you understand the McCormacks’ values: respect for the machines, reasonable prices and service that’s like the key strike of a Royal Arrow—straight, clean and true. BRENT WALTH.
LOST AND FOUND
BEST
The former owners of a floral-print plastic giraffe, bright pink Razor scooter and slide guitar will probably never see them again. Such is the fate of 80 percent of the objects that wind up at TriMet’s lost and found, a rectangular 500-square-foot, fluorescent-lit backroom in TriMet’s Southeast Portland headquarters (4012 SE 17th Ave., 962-7505, trimet.org). Most businesses have a lost and found where people return to claim misplaced possessions. But for TriMet riders, that range expands to 52 miles of MAX light rail, 79 bus lines and 14.7 miles of WES commuter rail. “People leave their items for every reason under the sun—they’re tired, distracted or have had a long day at work,” says TriMet spokeswoman Angela Murphy. “But it all ends back in the same place.” There have been penitentiary blueprints, bones from Portland State University’s biology department and an urn filled with cremated remains. TriMet’s lost and found keeps these orphaned items for two weeks before donating them. Last year, 21,258 items were unclaimed. There are a few success stories—three ukuleles were recently reunited with their owners. Station agent Mark Rotella says people
who do find their items are ecstatic. “They usually want to hug you,” he says. “I’m like, ‘No, thanks.’” SARA SNEATH.
PLACE TO BUY A VINTAGE SYNTHESIZER
R ATO AVI
D ID ISS C C OUNT OUNT
Designer Frames, Near Wholesale Prices Designer Frames, Near Wholesal
BEST
As easy as it is to dial up an iPhone app or GarageBand plug-in to approximate the sound of a vintage synthesizer, there’s nothing like the delicious tactile experience of pushing keys and twisting knobs to create one’s own Kraftwerk-style symphony/racket. That’s what makes Control Voltage (3742 N Mississippi Ave., 265-8494, controlvoltage.net) such a fun place to shop. For about a year, the sleek storefront has offered everything an electronic aesthete could want: drum machines, samplers and software, as well as transistors and circuit boards for the DIY set. Novices, though, will head right for the table of synthesizers, where the Moog or Korg of your dreams is there for a test drive. Wisely, all the in-store synths are fitted with headphones, so only the player can hear the bleeps and bloops, a decision made to help save the noobs from embarrassment and maintain owner Jason Kramer’s sanity. ROBERT HAM.
IT’S HOT OUT THERE... LOOK LIKE ICEMAN
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SOUVENIR STAND
BEST
If tourists to Portland’s Old Town-Chinatown district want to remember how weird it all was, they have several options: They could purchase a hoodie from strip joint Mary’s Club, they could buy a dozen doughnuts from Voodoo, or they could go to the city’s only illegal homeless campground on the site of a bulldozed adult bookstore, and get a commemorative T-shirt for $20. Right 2 Dream Too (Northwest 4th Avenue and Burnside Street) sells the screen-printed shirts—one blue with a cartoon figure sleeping on a cloud, and one garnet with white lettering reading “Right 2 Survive”—at its front entrance beneath the Chinatown gate. Camp organizer Ibrahim Mubarak says proceeds go to paying camp operating expenses. Think of it as your contribution to city government: Portland officials, in a bitter feud with the property owner, are fining the camp $1,500 a month. AARON MESH. Willamette Week JULY 24, 2013 wweek.com
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Bombshell Vintage
811 E. Burnside The Sausages of Summer ������������������������
500 years of cultural history 1,000 annual events and activities An infinite number of experiences Lan Su Chinese Garden is Portland’s best way to see and feel China without a passport. Enter the wonderland.
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OLCC approved courses offered 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Initial & Renewal Alcohol Servers Education Classes & Exams. www. ASEPDX.com www.MOMENTSNOTICEOREGONTESTING.com
PORTLAND Waterfront park Thursday, August 1st at 7:30pm
a FUNdraiser for
handmade FILMS handmade
BEERS
Films begin at dark. High five to those who ride. www.newbelgiumclips.com 32
Willamette Week JULY 24, 2013 wweek.com
BEST
FUN GAMES AND
R O N I T FA H L
BEST
PITCHING COACH
In most professions, Doug Drabek wouldn’t be a retiree. The former major leaguer and current pitching coach for the Hillsboro Hops ( hillsborohops.com) certainly doesn’t look like one. As he heads out to the mound to calm down a pitcher who has lost sight of the strike zone, you half expect him to grab the baseball, dismiss the kid and throw a few innings of relief himself. “I do miss it, competing on the mound against a hitter,” Drabek says of his days pitching for clubs like the Pittsburgh Pirates and Houston Astros. “Once you play, it’s in your blood and it never goes away.” At 50, Drabek has gray hair and the same Selleck ’stache he had in 1990, when he took home a Cy Young Award during a 22-6 season in which he helped get a Pirates squad led by the young Barry Bonds into the playoffs. That résumé landed the Texan here, coaching the Arizona Diamondbacks’ Class A minor league affiliate. Drabek was a starting pitcher for 13 seasons, racking up almost 1,600 strikeouts and a career ERA of 3.73. He walked away from the big leagues after the 1998 season, saying he felt his abilities were starting to decline. He worked with sons Justin and Kyle, coaching them from Little League through their high-school years. Drabek’s first big coaching success is Kyle, who recently rejoined the Toronto Blue Jays’ pitching rotation after surgery. S i n c e 2 0 1 0, h e h a s b e e n c o a x i n g f u t u r e Diamondbacks—like potential National League All-Star Patrick Corbin, who thrived under Drabek’s tutelage during his stint with the Visalia Rawhide—into bigleague manhood. In Hillsboro, he hopes to do the same. “You’re basically teaching them how to pitch,” he says. “Drilling it into them how to get ahead of hitters, how to read swings. You’re helping them find themselves out there.” ROBERT HAM.
UNDERWATER SPORT
BEST
The Winterhawks are done for the season, but that doesn’t mean hockey is gone—it’s just moved below water. Every Tuesday at the Mt. Hood Community College Aquatic Center, anywhere from 12 to 20 Portlanders play underwater hockey, donning snorkel masks, swim caps, flippers and gloves for an open scrimmage at the bottom of the pool. This isn’t just Portland’s patented weirdness. U n d e r wa t e r h o c k e y ( m e e t u p.c o m / Po r t l a n d Underwater-Hockey) is an international sport, invented in England in the 1950s. It’s similar to ice hockey, but with no contact, no goalies and a lead puck propelled by plantain-sized wooden sticks. “It’s a 3-D game, because you’re at the bottom of the surface and people can attack you from the top, from the side, from behind,” says Jorge Filevitch, who founded the local club when he moved to Portland two years ago. Another difference? Players can’t talk underwater. “So you cannot say, ‘Hey, pass it to me, I’m open!’” Filevich says. “Everybody has to have a role and there has to be a strategy.” KAITIE TODD.
ROGUE (AND STILL MOSTLY DRY) SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMING TROUPE
BEST
For performers who call themselves aquatic artists, the Olivia Darlings haven’t spent all that much time in the water. Since forming in spring 2012, they’ve had only one public appearance, a terrestrial routine in a grassy lot behind the Pecularium faux-seum in Slabtown. For that performance, the five women and one man wore sparkly blue swimsuits and caps while twirling in starlike formations and paddling their arms as if underwater. “We are not the Olympics,” says artistic
Hillsboro Hops pitching coach Doug Drabek.
director Kristin Wallace. “We are your grandmother’s synchronized swimming team.” The Darlings’ patron saint, accordingly, is Esther Williams, the swimming champion and Hollywood star known for her aqua-musicals—MGM films from the 1940s and ’50s featuring elaborate underwater routines choreographed by Busby Berkeley. In their routines, the Olivia Darlings hope to pay homage to a time when synchronized swimming was about kaleidoscopic patterns and graceful harmony rather than sequined suits and cold-blooded competition. That said, they’re no goody two-flippers. Though they have yet to fully submerge themselves, Wallace says the Darlings will stage a series of guerrilla performances in city fountains, ignoring warning emails she’s received from Portland Parks & Recreation. “Kids swim in fountains all the time,” Wallace says. “They were designed to be this way.” REBECCA JACOBSON.
Bastards, Portland’s most (and also least) fearsome unicycle gang. Formed in 2007, the Bastards (unicyclebastards. tumblr.com) organize group rides through the city as well as off-road or long-distance rides on mountain biking trails in Sandy Ridge and in Washington. But they’re best known for an anarchic one-wheeled version of bike polo. “There’s not really any rules per se,” Hamilton says of the games, which are open to anyone with a unicycle. “We don’t really discourage each other from cheating. We try to have a good time.” The games admittedly attract more spectators than new players, but, according to Hamilton, they advance the Bastards’ mission of getting the word out about unicycling in Portland. “That’s our other thing,” he says. “We like attention.” KAITIE TODD.
BICYCLE POLO (UNICYCLE DIVISION)
Laid off from the Caterpillar plant and confronting double-digit unemployment rates, Blake Hicks weighed his skills and experience against local economic trends and decided on the most practical career path available. He joined the circus. But Hicks’ rise from Stumptown novelty to renowned BMX rider owes less to chance than to honest hard work, a truly inspired idea and some batteries. You may know Hicks as the guy twirling a glowing BMX bike amid a rave or along the Willamette in
BEST
Walk around Alberta Park on a Thursday evening, and you’ll probably see what you would expect: little kids running around on the play structure, a couple walking their dogs and a group playing a pickup game of basketball. You might also see something you don’t expect: a group of 12 or so guys riding around playing unicycle polo. That group would be the Unicycle
BEST
BIKE
Willamette Week JULY 24, 2013 wweek.com
33
FUN AND GAMES CONT.
downtown Portland. “Blake Hicks vs. Tron Bike” is a YouTube sensation, with 1.8 million views. Hicks can ride, obviously, but no matter how inventive and physically demanding his flatland technique—“no ramps whatsoever; all creative tricks on the ground; balancing, spinning, the bike floating around you”—the Tron bike he built is as much the star of the video as he is. The BMX vet tinkered with circuit boards and handfashioned batteries to power his trademark steed. The glowing mount may even have drawn a shout-out on Kanye West’s instant classic Yeezus: “My mind move like a Tron bike/pop a wheelie on the zeitgeist.” Hicks credits one of Kanye’s collaborators: “I’ve got a picture of Skrillex picking up my bike so I know he knows who I am. Maybe they were sharing all kinds of things.” Hicks’ time with the Wanderlust Circus helped set it all in motion. The Portland troupe’s all-inclusive retinue and thoroughly professional approach proved an ideal showcase for his developing act, which he’s since taken to Tampa Bay’s Busch Gardens, where he’ll perform seven nights a week through August. He’s already turned down autumn shows in Finland and India in order to return to his Portland warehouse, though he’s considering an extended European tour this winter. He’s devoted all off-hours this summer to further refinements of his signature shimmy, the “stubble duck,” hoping to render it utterly distinct from similar tricks around the world. “With no brakes, without even touching the tires, I’m spinning a 360 one direction while the bike is spinning opposite underneath me super fast, and it looks like I’m in the eye of a hurricane,” he says. Add lights and a Skrillex track, and who knows what’ll happen? JAY HORTON.
BEST
FOOSBALL COACH
Apparently Americans do it backwards. Mike Holbert shows me this on his custom Fireball-model foosball table, which he has donated to Beaumont’s Wilshire Tavern (4052 NE 42nd Ave., 284-8083). There are push shots, pull shots, push-pull shots and something called “the snake.” But while Europeans tend to snap the little foosball men forward for a shot, Americans like to whip the shooter into a backflip to build up speed. Holbert, a white-haired man in a biker’s bandanna and short ponytail, has been playing for 40 years now, and he has the patience of a priest, taking into his tutelage any and all beginning players who show up at the tavern after 9 pm on Fridays, where he drinks cola. Holbert is also an evangelist for the game. He is manager and resident guru for the six tables currently in commission at Nike’s Beaverton headquarters—where he works maintenance—and recently was an assistant coach for the American juniors and seniors teams at the Foosball World Cup. Lately, he is a budding philanthropist. In Germany, he encountered a foosball table made for the wheelchair bound. He commissioned a friend in China to build him a special table that’s low to the ground with bowed legs designed to allow wheelchair players to scoot underneath. He now plans to donate these tables to local hospitals through the American Table Soccer Federation; he’s already donated the original German table to Shriners Hospitals for Children. “You wouldn’t believe the reaction you get when people start playing,” he says. “They’ve been lying in bed. It’s like night and day.” He returns to his table at the Wilshire, where he whips the living tar out of his opponents. “You played a great game,” he says when it’s over. MATTHEW KORFHAGE.
PLACE TO PLAY MAGIC THE GATHERING (CHILD DIVISION)
BEST
If you’re going to battle with Protogenus, don’t be too confident. Sure, it’s powerful, but most of the Elderazi can destroy it in one blow. Or so one 13-year-old expert informs me about strategy in the wildly imaginative, colorful and consuming obsession known as Magic: the 34
Willamette Week JULY 24, 2013 wweek.com
R O N I T FA H L
BEST
Big Buck Safari ace Nina MacDonald brandishes her weapon.
Gathering. This trading-card game of fantasy, swords and wizards enchants players who in another era (and probably this one, too) memorized Tolkien and lost themselves in Dungeons & Dragons. Many Portland game stores host MTG tournaments, but most cater largely to adult players. That’s why Cloud Cap Games (1226 SE Lexington St., 505-9344, cloudcapgames.com) is the best place for young planeswalkers. This inviting Sellwood game store has a small game room with a big window so parents can discreetly keep an eye on their kids’ journey through the multiverse while mythic warriors appear, mana increases and life points wane. The store also hosts tournaments for that old standby of younger players, Pokemon, as well as game nights for grown-ups. Your kid could go somewhere else for Magic battles, but you might as well face a Spiked Baloth—in other words, it’s a big mistake. BRENT WALTH.
BEST
GUNSLINGER
Nina “Candi” MacDonald first discovered her talent during after-hours sessions at Kerns hangout the Standard, where she tended bar before taking work as a biotechnology research assistant. But she didn’t become a champion until she took a job barreling across the lower 10 from Los Angeles to Miami and back in a Freightliner, riding along as personal chef to a Polish truck driver named Krzysztof. “There was a Big Buck Hunter machine at every stop in the South,” she says. “Krzysztof was a health nut, and he wouldn’t give me money to smoke, so I had to play truckers for cigarettes.” It wasn’t hard to find opponents. “At a truck stop,” says MacDonald, a slender brunette prone to pigtails, “a semi-hot 36-year-old woman is like a 22-year-old supermodel.” By the time she got back to Portland, she was one of the best female Big Buck Safari shooting-game players in the world. Her score qualified her for the 2011 world tournament in Chicago, where she placed third even though she didn’t even know the format of gameplay when she arrived. She figures she could have done even better if they didn’t have free liquor. She had handily beat the ultimate winner, Sara Erlandson, in the first round. “But she drank beer and I drank Jameson,” MacDonald says. MacDonald missed the 2012 tournament, however, and in the meantime Big Buck has redesigned its games. She’s now writing a play about her time on the Southern roads. The working
title? How I Made Friends and Influenced People by Playing Big Buck Hunter. MATTHEW KORFHAGE.
REASON TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A ZONE DEFENSE AND AN OFFSIDE TRAP BEST
The future of women’s soccer sits on the rather slim shoulders of Portlander Alex Morgan. If the sport remains solvent at a professional level, it will probably be because of the Portland Thorns, the new National Women’s Soccer League’s most exciting team. And if the Thorns are to succeed, it will because of the 24-year-old Southern California native. Morgan is both the Thorns’ best player and the most marketable female soccer player in the world, a worthy successor to Mia Hamm. Morgan, a striker Sports Illustrated called a dead ringer for Marnie on HBO’s Girls, has become soccer’s It girl. She has explosive speed, remarkable ball control and the lungs of a thoroughbred. When the ball comes to her, you can almost feel the crowd at Jeld-Wen Field tense up, never sure what to expect. Morgan helped the U.S. women’s team win the gold medal at the 2012 London Olympics, scoring an overtime goal to lift the Americans over Canada, 4-3, in the semifinals. Her stats—she leads the league in shots on goal, and is tied for total points—don’t even begin to accurately capture how quickly she can turn a corner, lose two defenders and bullet the ball into the box. Morgan is paired with Thorns forward Christine Sinclair, a former University of Portland standout who is ranked among the 10 best female soccer players in history, according to Bleacher Report. Sixteen months ago, it was not clear if Morgan could break into the starting lineup; now people are actually speculating that her reputation might surpass Hamm’s as the greatest women’s player ever. She is not, however, especially Portlandy; a sharp impatience keys her success. “I notice that when people cross the street [here], they wait till the crosswalk man goes, even though there could be, like, no cars for two miles,” Morgan tells WW. “They’re just waiting for the crosswalk man, because people are so nice. They’re like, ‘Do you want to go? Do you all want to go? Do you want to go?’” MARK ZUSMAN.
Sport your support for animal rescue.
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We’re blowing stuff up! Learn about the chemistry of combustion, the physics of pyrotechnics and the technology of fireworks at this explosive OMSI After Dark.
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35
21st Annual
Division/C Celebrating Change
Family Medicine at Richmond
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Willamette Week JULY 24, 2013 wweek.com
Living Room Realty
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Saturday, July 27th, 10am-5pm
Clinton Street Fair Activities from 10am-10pm
Annie Meyer Artwork - Studio 2507
Xtabay
2507 SE Clinton St. 503-957-6800 anniemeyerartwork.com
2515 SE Clinton St. 503-230-2899 xtabayvintage.blogspot.com
SE Division 12th Ave. to 60th Ave. SE Clinton 19th Ave. to 27th Ave. Parade 10:45am at 50th and Division Music 11:30-3:30pm Village Merchants Live Music Stage at 41st and Division
Yarnia
Lane Gallery & Studio
4183 SE Division St. 503-488-0022 yarniapdx.com
2627 SE Clinton St. 503-232-3526 laneartgallery.com
Noon-3pm Lane Gallery Live Music at 26th and Clinton 12:30pm Alphabeticians at St. Philip Neri Church 3pm-9pm Clinton Street Stage & Block Party
Compote
The Workshop Pub
2032 SE Clinton St. 503-234-5689 compotepdx.com
2524 SE Clinton St. • 503-954-1606 4pm-12am Mon-Fri, 10am-12am Sat & Sun
Dots Cafe
SubRosa
2521 SE Clinton St. • 503-235-0203 12pm-2:30am Mon-Fri, 10am-2:30am Sat & Sun
2601 SE Clinton St. 503-233-1955 subrosapdx.com
Plus so much more….
Music • Entertainment Lego Exhibit • Bike Helmet Sale Sidewalk Sales • Art Vendors • Crafts Children Activities • Ice Cream Free jump castle with slide Great food & BBQs For more information go to:
www.divisionclinton.com Willamette Week JULY 24, 2013 wweek.com
37
YOUR ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE
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BESTS OF THE
BEST BEER SELECTION OF ANY AMERICAN GROCERY STORE THAT ALSO CUTS HOUSE KEYS, EMPLOYS AN IN-HOUSE CHOCOLATIER AND SELLS CAMCORDERS:
Fred Meyer on Hawthorne. (Beer Guide, March 20, 2013)
BEST THING IN THE WORLD WHEN YOU’RE HIGH:
Portland City Grill’s kung pao calamari (“You’re Not High in Portland Until...” Feb. 20, 2013)
BEST THING MATTHEW SINGER ATE LAST YEAR:
La Sirenita’s Special Burrito, which “falls apart with one bite, splattering globs of meat, onions, beans, cheese and ranchero sauce on the tray below.” (“The Best Thing I Ate,” Dec. 26, 2012)
BEST COFFEE CITY IN THE COUNTRY:
Portland, where “it’s easy to become complacent about… swinging by the cafe down the street for a single-origin cold-brew sweetened with agave nectar and served in a biodegradable cup alongside a laundry list of tasting notes.” (“The Caffeinator,” Nov. 21, 2012)
BEST BEEF JERKY:
Western Meat Market Hot Peppered, “the standard bearer of Portland jerkydom.” (“Jerk- Off,” Aug. 15, 2012) Clockwise from left: Shy Girls, Frying Scotsman and Lonesome’s.
THE BEST YEAR A SURVEY OF OTHER THINGS WW FORMALLY DECLARED TO BE “THE BEST” IN THE LAST 12 MONTHS. BEST AMERICAN LIGHT BEER:
Miller 64, “the light version of MGD, a scant 64 calories and 2.4 percent alcohol by volume so you can easily pound a sixer all by yourself, just as George Washington intended.” (“Lite-N Up,” July 3, 2013)
BEST PIZZA SAUCE:
Lonesome’s “bright and very herbal marinara.” (“Lonesome Hearts Club,” Jan. 2, 2013)
BEST FREE TEA SERVED AT A PORTLAND ASIAN RESTAURANT:
Yen Ha’s blend, which “smells like oatmeal.” (“Teatime for Tightwads,” Feb. 27, 2013)
BEST NEW BAND:
Shy Girls, a “chilled-out, swollen-hearted retro-R&B project.” (“Best New Band,” May 1, 2013)
BEST DAMN ROCK ALBUM MATTHEW KORFHAGE EXPECTS TO HEAR ALL YEAR:
Sun Angle’s Diamond Junk, which “harks back to the harsh intensities of 1978-era New York City no wave and post-punk.” (“Best New Band,” May 1, 2013)
BEST TIME TO SHOW UP AT THE LUMBERYARD:
8:15 pm on Tuesday, “when riders at the weekly BMX session are warmed up enough to try challenging tricks that will occasionally force them from their frames at this indoor mountain-bike park, located inside a converted bowling alley.” (“Do the Brew,” Jan. 23, 2013)
BEST DRIED RAMEN:
(As determined by surprisingly picky summer interns): Wai Wai Brand Oriental Style, praised because a “strange
spicy aftertaste won’t leave your mouth.” (“Instant Karma,” June 26, 2013)
BEST BAGEL:
(As determined by five local rabbis): Bowery Bagels’ plain bagel, identified as “the only real water bagel” offered. (“Keeping It Kosher,” April 17, 2013)
BEST TAMALES:
Casa de Tamales, filled with beef that is “pot-roasty and great.” (“Christmas Style,” Dec. 19, 2012)
BEST REGIONAL DINER CHAIN IN AMERICA:
Shari’s, which is extraordinary among “24-hour diners found mostly near freeway exits—places like Denny’s, IHOP, Waffle House.” (“Gold Chain,” June 19, 2013)
BEST OREGON MUSTARD:
Monastery Mustard Deli Original: “Divine inspiration. A gospel mustard.” (“Yellow Bellies,” May 15, 2013)
BEST CAFE MOCHA:
Coffeehouse Northwest’s mocha, “nutty espresso made rich with an herbal, high-cacao chocolate and a perfect head of chocolate-dusted cream.” (“Daft Dunk,” Nov. 21, 2012)
BEST FOOD PRODUCT MADE WITH HEMP:
SortaSausage hemp burger, though “the best part of the hemp plant is definitely not its seeds.” (“Pot Meet Kettle,” Feb. 20, 2013)
BEST CHILI BEER EVER:
BEST COFFEE BEER AVAILABLE IN OREGON:
AleSmith’s Speedway Stout, “coal black with a strong anise flavor and deep caramel head. Dripping with fudge and coffee, it’s as rich and strong as a digestif.” (“DoubleBrewed,” Nov. 21, 2012)
BEST HARD APPLE CIDER MADE WITHIN AN HOUR OF PORTLAND:
Anthem Traditionally Fermented Cider. (“Pickin’ Apples,” May 8, 2013)
BEST KIELBASA PLATE MATTHEW KORFHAGE HAS HAD THIS SIDE OF CHICAGO:
Bar Dobre’s plate, which, for only $12, “will serve two, and includes spicy house-stuffed sausage, seared kale ensconced in plentiful bacon, a fluffy potato pancake and warmly brined sauerkraut.” (“Pole Position,” Feb. 20, 2013)
BEST DOLPHIN TATTOO YOU’LL SEE ALL DAY:
A tattoo photographed at the Body Art Expo in Vancouver. (“The Best Dolphin Tattoo You’ll See All Day,” April 17, 2013)
BEST TYPE OF KITSCHY:
The kind at the Alibi, which is “entertaining and not too self-important.” (Bar Guide, April 24, 2013)
BEST FISH AND CHIPS:
Frying Scotsman’s “huge planks of tender, flaky white cod in a light batter that’s golden like the sun and gets better with vinegar.” (“Cod Save the Queen,” July 25, 2012)
BEST CHANCE OF BREAKING THE CITY’S ADDICTION TO GRANDIOSE FLAILING:
Political candidates endorsed by WW in the November 2012 election. (“Risky Business,” Oct. 17, 2012)
Barley Brown’s Citra Hot Blonde. (“It List,” Sept. 24, 2012) Willamette Week JULY 24, 2013 wweek.com
39
CAREER EDUCATION
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Willamette Week JULY 24, 2013 wweek.com
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FOOD: Great sauce at a Northwest cart. MUSIC: Musée Mécanique’s long-awaited second record. VISUAL ARTS: The Oddity of Off Black. MOVIES: The wisdom of the East.
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GOSSIP WILL BE FAMOUS AT MIDNIGHT. EXPOSE YOURSELF: The Oregon Music Hall of Fame has announced its 2013 inductees. The artists include ’80s hardcore punks Poison Idea, beloved ’90s indie-rockers Hazel, blues guitarist Kelly Joe Phelps, Grammy-winning jazz trumpeter Chris Botti and hyperliterate folkie HAZEL band Richmond Fontaine, along with accomplished session players Janice Scroggins and Gregg Williams. In addition, the “industry” class includes former Willamette Week music editor and recently laid-off Oregonian theater critic Marty Hughley and Bud Clark, whose contributions to the music scene during his tenure in political office “was up and beyond anyone who has served as mayor of Portland,” according to the nomination board. The induction ceremony is Oct. 5 at Aladdin Theater and will feature performances from garage-rock pioneers the Kingsmen, platinum-selling New Wave band Quarterflash, and Richmond Fontaine. FUTURE DRINKING: Star local pastry chef Kristen Murray (Paley’s Place, Lucier, Fenouil) has applied for a liquor license to open her own shop, called Maurice, in the former Reading Frenzy space at 921 SW Oak St. >> Colin Howard, former distiller at House Spirits, and wife Holly Johnson, an executive with the Bishops Barbershop chain, will open a wine-and-beer bottle shop serving small plates called Oso Market + Bar at 726 SE Grand Ave., next to Dig a Pony. Howard says the spot will feature a small grocery section, plenty of libations and simple French- and Spanishinspired dishes. >> Good news for the gluten-averse: Harvester Brewing will open a tasting room for its gluten-free beers at 2030 SE 7th Ave., next to its brewery, with plans to add a few food options. BARREL OF MONKEYS: The Centennial neighborhood will get a kung fu-themed play area as of Aug. 10 called the Monkey King Play House, at 11712 SE Powell Blvd. (This is the third unrelated Oregon business to use that moniker.) The indoor playground will be run by the Qian Kun Institute, which provides Chinese cultural education. In this particular case, cultural education involves huge snakes and dragons and painted monkey heads, plus a multitier video-gamelike world of fake, lush greenery. Sensibly, the onsite cafe has applied for a full liquor license, and instructors will teach kung fu. WEST END GIRLS (AND GUYS): Artists Repertory Theatre’s building is fast becoming a buzzing performing-arts hub near downtown’s West End. The newest resident is Polaris Dance Theatre, which joins Profile Theatre, the Portland Shakespeare Project, Portland Revels and others. Polaris moved into the offices at the beginning of July. “It’s almost like being in a dorm,” Polaris spokeswoman Claire Willett says. “You walk 10 feet to say hi to somebody really cool. There’s a lot of hope for collaborative, creative partnerships.” 42
Willamette Week JULY 24, 2013 wweek.com
HEADOUT M A R YA N N A H O G G AT T
WILLAMETTE WEEK
WHAT TO DO THIS WEEK IN ARTS & CULTURE
WEDNESDAY JULY 24 OREGON BREWERS FESTIVAL [BEER] The state’s signature keg party starts on Wednesday this year. Look for pFreim’s wit, Surly’s OverRated! West Coast IPA, Oakshire’s 26 and Rogue’s surprisingly boring Beard Beer, of which one 3-ounce taster is enough. Tom McCall Waterfront Park. Noon-9 pm through Saturday, July 27. Noon-7 pm Sunday, July 28. $7 for tasting cup, $1 per drink token. Under 21 permitted with parent.
THURSDAY JULY 25 THE TAMING OF THE SHREW [THEATER] We know there’s plenty of Shakespeare at the park, but Portland Shakespeare Project brings the Bard indoors for a production of the more than mildly misogynistic comedy. Artists Repertory Theatre, 1515 SW Morrison St., 313-3048. 7:30 pm. Through Aug. 4. $20-$30.
SATURDAY JULY 27 WILLIAM TYLER [MUSIC] “Folk” is an inaccurate term to describe the Nashville guitarist and ex-Silver Jew’s excellent 2013 release, Behold the Spirit. His spare, reverb-drenched soundscapes, expressionist finger-picking and high, lonesome twang are in a class all their own. Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., 288-3895. 7 pm. $8 advance, $10 day of show. 21+.
A FAIRE FIGHT
A JOUST BETWEEN THIS WEEKEND’S RENAISSANCE FAIRE AND RENAISSANCE-ERA LONDON. RESTROOMS
FOOD
DRINK
16TH-CENTURY LONDON:
LONDON:
LONDON:
LONDON:
Pilgrims to London would simply defecate into the Thames’ sewer drainage.
Meat pies made of carrots, squash, potatoes and chicken.
Beer and imported wine were popular along with verjus, an acidic non-alcoholic juice made from unripe fruit.
Worms in teeth? Major boil on forehead? Restore thy humors by bleeding off infection.
SILVERTON:
MEDICINE
16 public port-a-potties.
Roasted turkey legs and Umpqua rainbow sherbet.
DEFENSE
SPORT
CLOTHING
LONDON:
LONDON:
LONDON:
LONDON:
City fortified by 30-foot walls and protected by catapults.
Crowds thirsted for blood sports like bear-baiting and cockfighting.
Bowl cuts, linen undershirts.
Horse racing and whores.
SILVERTON:
SILVERTON:
Face painting and henna.
Belly dancers from Silverton.
21ST-CENTURY SILVERTON:
SILVERTON:
Security will be wearing cavalier hats with blue and yellow feathers.
SILVERTON:
A beer tent will have local craft beer and Nectar Creek mead from Corvallis.
SILVERTON:
Medical booth with trained EMT.
ENTERTAINMENT
SILVERTON:
Jousting demonstrations at noon and 4 pm from a medieval theater company from Norco, Calif.
GO: Canterbury Renaissance Faire, 6118 Mount Angel Highway, Silverton, canterburyfaire.com, is Saturday and Sunday, July 27-28. 10 am-6 pm. Day pass is $14 for adults and $11 for children and seniors. Weekend pass is $24 for adults or $20 for children and seniors. Sources: John Ott of Portland State University’s history department and Nancy White of Whitewind Farm in Silverton. JOE DONOVAN.
FLAMING LIPS [MUSIC] Musically, the Lips peaked 14 years ago with The Soft Bulletin, but their stage shows seem to grow more grandly weird with every tour. Expect inflatable things, laser things, floaty things and joyful, life-affirming racket. McMenamins Edgefield, 2126 SW Halsey St., Troutdale, 669-8610. 6:30 pm. $42-$43. All ages.
SUNDAY JULY 28 EL-P & KILLER MIKE [MUSIC] The Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez of hip-hop have come together for their first proper group release and made one of the best hip-hop albums of the year. On Run the Jewels, the two rappers go apeshit, trading bars over El-P’s bass-heavy, synth-laced production, spitting about their greatness while honoring the traditions of vintage hip-hop. Word is, their live shows are even more entertaining. Hawthorne Theatre, 1507 SE Cesar Chavez Blvd., 233-7100. 7 pm. $18. All ages. LETTERS FROM ARGENTINA [TANGO] The late Lalo Schifrin is probably doomed to be remembered only for his immortal Mission: Impossible theme, but the fourtime Grammy winner has also composed “classical” concert works for major orchestras, including this tango-charged suite—led by Lalo’s distant cousin David Shifrin on clarinet—that closes Chamber Music Northwest’s summer festival. Kaul Auditorium at Reed College, 3203 SE Woodstock Blvd., 294-6400. 4 pm. $15-$50. Willamette Week JULY 24, 2013 wweek.com
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EAT MOBILE E VA N J O H N S O N
THE ROOT OF ALL GOOD
FOOD & DRINK By HALEY MARTIN. PRICES: $: Most entrees under $10. $$: $10-$20. $$$: $20-$30. $$$$: Above $30. Editor: MARTIN CIZMAR. Email: dish@wweek. com. See page 3 for submission instructions.
WEDNESDAY, JULY 24 Drinkable Botanicals
Lydia Reissmueller from Tender Bar Cocktail Catering educates students in the art of floral mixology. Guided walks through the garden will evoke botanical inspiration for cocktails. Leach Botanical Garden, 6704 SE 122nd Ave., 823-1671. 6:30-8:30 pm. $35, registration required.
Oregon Brewers Festival
Oregon’s signature keg party, the Oregon Brewers Festival, returns for its 26th year. We’re looking forward to the cherry wheat from 13 Virtues, the new spinoff of Philadelphia’s Steaks & Hoagies; Oakshire’s 26; and Occidental’s Dortmunder. Admission is free, but you need a $7 glass and $1 tasting tokens to drink. Tom McCall Waterfront Park. Noon-9 pm Wednesday-Saturday, July 24-27; noon-7 pm Sunday, July 28. Under 21 permitted with parent.
THURSDAY, JULY 25 Beer Pairing Dinner
Keeping things beery, chef Justin Wills of Restaurant Beck and the brewers of Gigantic team up for a six-course dinner with pairings. The menu includes hay-smoked albacore tataki, goose foie gras with pickled blueberry jelly and hop-cured duckprosciutto pho. Proceeds benefit the Ronald McDonald House and Le Cordon Bleu College. Bleu, 600 SW 10th Ave., 294-9770. 6 pm. $95.
SATURDAY, JULY 27
Karaoke 9pm nightly Hydro Pong Saturday night
Sauvie Island Barn Dance and Barbecue
I get HAPPY 4-6pm Tues-Fri $3 menu
Tuesdstaryy: Fun Indu Night!
Dragon Lounge
Chinese-American Restaurant
2610 SE 82nd at Division 503-774-1135 Ho Ti
Read our story: canton-grill.com
Grab a picnic blanket and dancing shoes for a quintessential summer night on Sauvie Island. A scavenger hunt will kick off the festivities at 5 pm in which participants will walk away with, at the least, a loaf of Dave’s Killer Bread. A buffet-style dinner and dessert will be paired with Widmer Brothers beer and Oregon wine. Square dance the rest of the night away to the folk tunes of Caroline Oakley. There will also be a silent auction for gift certificates to Laurelhurst Market and Le Pigeon. Howell Territorial Park, 13605 NW Howell Park Road, Sauvie Island. 5 pm. $25 adults, $5 children under 12.
Drinkers and artists of widely varied skill gather for an evening of collaborative artistry. Perhaps a few beverages will bring out that masterpiece locked inside you. Goodfoot Lounge, 2845 SE Stark St., 239-9292. 8 pm. Free admission.
Peruvian Independence Day
On July 28, 1821, José de San Martín, Peru’s George Washington, proclaimed the South American nation’s independence from Spain. Andina celebrates with two sets from classical guitarist Mario Diaz and percussionist Martin Zarzar as the restaurant makes tapas, dinner, drinks and desserts. The music goes from 6:45 to 9:30 pm. $18 cover charge, $20 minimum order per person. Reservations suggested. Andina, 1314 NW Glisan St., 228-9535, andinarestaurant.com.
Willamette Week JULY 24, 2013 wweek.com
BONES & BITS You want some good marinara, you go get it from some guy’s Sicilian grandma in New Jersey. If that fails, you get it from the guy with a grandma in New Jersey. At Bones & Bits, two lifelong friends from Jersey cook up savory, rich, old-school tomato sauce stewed with bone-in lamb, pork and chicken. The pork ($8.50) falls with heart-moving tenderness off the bone, while the lamb ($9.50) is a bit tougher but still rich and moist from the sauce. Order this: Lamb, pork or chicken, The sauce garners most of with pasta. its flavor, in turn, from the I’ll pass: Polenta. slow-cooked meat, rather than from zealous overspicing. As with meatballs, the three-meat combo is pivotal. It’s a type of rustic, East Coast Italian food one rarely sees on this coast, let alone from a food cart. Bones & Bits serves up a few other things rarely dished out of a cart window, including a watermelon salad ($6) with goat cheese and arugula, and a lemony tuna salad ($8) that is almost all tuna, save a scattering of garbanzo and cherry tomatoes on a bed of arugula. Still, the tuna salad was a bit perplexing: It seemed better suited as the spread for bruschetta or the filling for a sandwich. The polenta cake, served as a side ($4) or free with a meat dish, was a bit dry, the kiss of death to all polenta. Pasta was the preferred accompaniment, and a better sop for all that lovely sauce. Overall, however, Bones & Bits has healthful, savory food unlike that at almost any other cart in the city, and is run speedily and with considerable warmth by its two owners. But make sure to show up early. The lamb runs out quickly, followed by the pork and then the chicken. And by 2 pm? It’s a total sausage party. MATTHEW KORFHAGE. GO: Bones & Bits, Q19 pod at Northwest 19th Avenue and Quimby Street, 847-9492. 11 am-3 pm Monday-Friday. $.
SUNDAY, JULY 28 Drink and Draw
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FORK IN PORK: Jersey-style meat, sauce and polenta.
DRANK
SWEET AS PACIFIC ALE (GOODLIFE) I wish this weekend’s Oregon Brewers Festival were in late September. While sunshine is all but guaranteed in late July, the heat tends to push crowds to lawn-mower beers, which is why so many brewers bring wheat beers and lagers to the festival. On a quest to find the perfect pregame drink, I grabbed a whole bag of summery beers—Logsdon’s Aberrant, Double Mountain’s Cluster, Hop Valley’s Czech Your Head and Occidental’s Kölsch—without finding anything to love. Then I cracked a royal-blue can of GoodLife Brewing’s Sweet As Pacific Ale. The Bend brewery used three light malts and Pacifica hops from New Zealand for this new seasonal. It’s got a lot of citrusy hops, but the best characteristic is a honeyed sweetness that sticks to your lips. GoodLife will be pouring an imperial version called “Evil Sister” at OBF. As you read this, I’m probably waiting in line for it. Recommended. MARTIN CIZMAR.
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www.layitoutevents.com Willamette Week JULY 24, 2013 wweek.com
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Willamette Week JULY 24, 2013 wweek.com
JULY 24-30 PROFILE
= WW Pick. Highly recommended.
COURTESY OF MUSÉE MÉCANIQUE
MUSIC
Prices listed are sometimes for advance ticket sales. At-the-door increases and socalled convenience charges may apply. Event lineups are subject to change after WW’s press deadlines. Editor: MATTHEW SINGER. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, go to wweek.com/ submitevents and follow submission directions. All shows should be submitted two weeks or more in advance of event. Press kits, CDs and especially vinyl can be sent to Music Desk, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Please include show or release date information with all physical mailings. Email: msinger@wweek.com. Fax: 243-1115.
WEDNESDAY, JULY 24 Dan Hicks and the Hot Licks, Jaime Leopold and the Short Stories
[ROOTS ROCK] By leaving the Charlatans (the little-remembered band that kicked off the whole HaightAshbury scene) in 1968 to found his acoustic Western swing-influenced Hot Licks, Dan Hicks found himself at the vanguard of a countercultural sea change, from psychedelia “back to the land.” But a wry sense of humor and slightly off-kilter sensibility defined Hicks’ work as much as his choice of musical styles, as did his ability to underpin that weirdness and wit with emotional ballast in songs like “I Scare Myself” and “Moody Richard (The Innocent Bystander).” He’s just released a guest-laden new album, Live at Davies. Original Licks bassist Jaime Leopold dwells in Portland, and leads the Short Stories as a vehicle for his own good-natured, gently loping and smokily sung songs. JEFF ROSENBERG. Aladdin Theater, 3017 SE Milwaukie Ave., 234-9694. 8 pm. $25. Under 21 permitted with legal guardian.
La Fin Absolute du Monde, Estocar
COURTESY J. PHILIP
[RAPTUROUS RAPTURE POP] If, as this band’s name translates to, the absolute end of the world were upon us, I can think of no better way to soundtrack the apocalypse than La
Fin Absolute du Monde. This Bay Area duo’s music has many moods to help you face imminent demise: sultry neosoul, furiously grinding rock, electronically driven melancholia and even a little bit of dubstep for the kids. Keeping it all on point is vocalist Chicky Myles, who gives every song a deep, emotional heft through her charcoaled, smoldering soprano. The contrast between that and the surf-infused pop of openers Estocar should be one hell of a juxtaposition. ROBERT HAM. East End, 203 SE Grand Ave., 2320056. 9:30 pm. $5. 21+.
THURSDAY, JULY 25 Son Volt, Colonel Ford
[HAGGARD AMERICANA] Wilco frontman Jeff Tweedy might have stolen the remaining members of the late Uncle Tupelo upon Jay Farrar’s exit, but he sure as hell didn’t steal the man’s thunder when it comes to writing killer, whiskey-doused folk. Son Volt, for which Farrar serves as frontman and anchor, has proven the band’s earnest conviction to its traditional roots for nearly 20 years, lolling in the twangy nuances of Hank Williams and late-’60s Dylan, with Farrar’s Midwestern drawl and rustic guitar on high. The band’s first album in four years, Honky Tonk, is a doggone-good
TOP FIVE
CONT. on page 48
BY ROBERT HAM
FIVE UNDER-THE-RADAR ACTS AT WHAT THE FESTIVAL Thriftworks Jake Atlas has been slowly seeping into the consciousness of the California electronic scene these past three years, via a quartet of crumbling, downtempo LPs. Topping his discography is Terry-D, a collection of hip-hop-stained moodscapes that would perfectly soundtrack a post-apocalyptic video game. Kepi This DJ is becoming better known via the recordings he produces with singer Kat Steinmetz, to the point of being named one of the Bay Area’s best electronic acts. On his own, he delivers steady house and electro sets that show a deep love of heavy bass and diamond-hard beats. Anomie Belle Seattle-based artist Belle has collaborated with everyone from hip-hop artist Mr. Lif to power-pop icons the Posies, but it is through her solo material she truly flourishes. On recent LP The Crush, she puts the steady drone of a string section and her pliable, emotional voice to good use atop slick, multicolored electronic landscapes. Plantrae The heart of this local producer’s sound is his delicate viola playing, weaved throughout the rich texture of his swinging, bass-heavy glitch. It’s an approach that never feels forced, and sits very well with his philosophy of celebrating Mother Earth through song and dance. J.Phlip (pictured) This ultra-talented producer and DJ learned the ways of house music straight from the source in her hometown of Chicago. She currently finds herself tearing up the clubs in her new home of Berlin and releasing appropriately titled jams “Greasy Beat,” “Swaggerin’,” and “Bootyberg.” SEE IT: What the Festival runs Friday-Sunday, July 26-28, at Wolf Run Ranch in Brownsville, Ore. See whatthefestival.com for schedule and ticket information.
MUSEE MECHANIQUE
ANTIQUE METAL MACHINE MUSIC THE CHAMBER-POP PERFECTIONISTS OF MUSÉE MÉCANIQUE READY THEIR SECOND ALBUM. IT’S ABOUT DAMN TIME. BY EMIL EE B OOHER
243-2122
Sean Ogilvie and Micah Rabwin, the 33-year-old founding members of Portland folk quintet Musée Mécanique, are casually sitting on the sandy shore of Sellwood Riverfront Park. The breeze ripples the water as the two longtime friends talk fondly about their neighborhood sanctuary. Here, ships and boats come and go, occasionally stopping to drop anchor near the riverbank. People lounge behind magazines, with Oaks Amusement Park and Oaks Bottom Wildlife Refuge just visible through the park’s northernmost trees. This place—and others similar to it—is where Ogilvie and Rabwin found much of the inspiration for their group’s first album in five years, From Shores of Sleep. While it won’t be officially released until early next year, the band will perform the album in full this week, in its first live show in two years. Considering those gaps in productivity, the band has truly tested the patience of its fan base. But Musée Mécanique makes no apologies for taking its time. “One thing we learned a year into making the record is, you can’t put too much pressure on this album to be finished because it’s just going to take its own time,” Ogilvie says. “I want it to be a place to go to. I want it to be another world that inspires your imagination to go somewhere else.” Indeed, when it comes to production, Musée Mécanique emphasizes patience and craft. Fittingly, the band is named after a family-owned museum in San Francisco that houses a collection of antique coin-operated instruments and arcade games, and its music is reminiscent of those intricate, delicately handmade machines. Its sound is timeless and imaginatively evocative, built with finely composed layers of wispy vocals and instruments, including strings, brass, woodwinds, glockenspiel, old synthesizers, keyboards and saws. For Ogilvie and Rabwin, spending copious amounts of time perfecting every production detail furthers their appreciation for the contrap-
tions in the museum that is the group’s namesake. “You put in a quarter, and you see this whole thing unfold that’s been so crafted to play maybe one, two, three songs,” Ogilvie says. “That’s kind of what our music felt like at a certain point. Everything was a little world in and of itself.” Ogilvie and Rabwin first played together 20 years ago, after meeting in school in San Diego. In the subsequent years, they bounced around the California coastline before eventually moving in 2005 to Portland, where they solidified the idea of Musée Mécanique. Renting an old Victorian house in Sellwood, they brought in Matthew Berger, Brian Perez and Jeff Boyd—who’s since left the group
Musee Mecanique
“THAT’S KIND OF WHAT OUR MUSIC FELT LIKE AT A CERTAIN POINT. EVERYTHING WAS A LITTLE WORLD IN AND OF ITSELF.” —SEAN OGILVIE to pursue a teaching career—to record Hold This Ghost, a sleepy set of 10 exquisitely arranged songs, in their basement studio. “We finally got to start making something that was just ours,” Ogilvie says. While Hold This Ghost is made up of songs that stand alone as separate tracks, From Shores of Sleep, as Rabwin and Ogilvie explain, is more conceptual. Waterscapes—such as the Sellwood riverfront and the coastal town of Astoria— contribute to the overarching story of the album. “Over the course of the record, there’s a journey that’s, in my mind, a spatial journey you go on from the shore, to an open sea, to underwater, to the river,” Rabwin says. “All of those places are referenced in various ways, lyrically or with the sound itself.” Musée Mécanique fans still have months to wait until they can hold physical copies of From Shores of Sleep, but the performance Saturday night will be the closest thing they’ve had to a new album in five years. And it sounds like it will be even more of a time-defying, dreamy journey than the last. SEE IT: Musée Mécanique plays the Piano Fort, 1715 SE Spokane St., with Justin Ringle, Laura Gibson, Justin Power and Sean Flinn, on Saturday, July 27. 8 pm. $10 suggested donation. All ages. Willamette Week JULY 24, 2013 wweek.com
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THURSDAY-SATURDAY
homage to the Bakersfield sound, piled high with a generous helping of pedal steel and twin fiddles that would almost certainly make George Jones proud. BRANDON WIDDER. Aladdin Theater, 3017 SE Milwaukie Ave., 234-9694. 8 pm. $25 advance, $30 day of show. All ages.
Party Damage Records Party: Vin Blanc/White Wine, Your Rival
[SOLO PREACHER MAN] Joe Haege may have relocated to Portland, but such a longtime music scene fixture can’t detach that easily. Haege, formerly of fractured math-rock adventurers 31Knots and flickering noir-pop torch-bearers Tu Fawning, is returning in support of his new solo project, In Every Way But One, an album of predictably unpredictable songs issued under the name Vin Blanc/White Wine. Sounds rattle around inside unconventional structures while Haege throws his voice right around with them. Like everything Haege’s involved in, it’s difficult to box in and a headache to explain. Best to make my job easier and just experience it in person. MATTHEW SINGER. Bunk Bar, 1028 SE Water Ave., 894-9708. 9 pm. $5. 21+.
You Never Know What You’ll find at a Collectors West Gun Show! Oregon’s Largest 3-Day Show!
JULY 26-27-28
Portland Expo Center
$10 • Fri: Noon-6p, Sat: 9a-5p, Sun: 10a-4p
for a full schedule visit WWW.miKethrasherpresents.com folloW us online at: faceBooK.com/miKethrasherpresents tWitter.com/miKethrasherpdX · WWW.myspace.com/miKethrasherpresents
R O S E L A N D T H E A T E R
presents
this
Dresses, Bevelers, Tess Dunn
[DREAM POP] Local duo Timothy Heller and Jared Maldonado have documented their dreamy indiepop jam sessions over the past few months through YouTube covers of Frank Ocean and the Lumineers. On July 23, Dresses released an EP, Sun Shy, featuring nine tracks of carbonated drums and rhythmic, feel-good guitar. Lead vocalist Heller—who’s a woman, by the way—sings a bit like recent tourmate Kate Nash, but her lyrics are less toothy. JOE DONOVAN. Backspace, 115 NW 5th Ave., 248-2900. 8:30 pm. $8. All ages.
Trails and Ways, De La Warr, Soft White Sixties
electric 13 World tour playing ‘electric’ in its entirety
mON
FRIDAY, JULY 26
HuSTLE AND DRONE & THEmES
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7:00pm doors 21 and over
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the 25th anniversary of danzig
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snoop performing his classic smash hits
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coming soon: bad rabbits · el-p / killer mike · rx bandits · every time i die 48
Willamette Week JULY 24, 2013 wweek.com
SATURDAY, JULY 27 Cherry Poppin’ Daddies
[SUBVERSIVE SWING] The Daddies have been at it for nearly a quarter of a century, and for those who aren’t in the know, these guys are far more than just a retro-swing band. They’ve also done a hell of a lot more than just 1997’s super-popular Zoot Suit Riot record. Singer Steve Perry and the gang have been doing whatever they want, infusing songs with elements of punk, rock ’n’ roll, psychobilly and rockabilly for the majority of their careers, with swing being just part of the picture. New album White Teeth, Black Thoughts—the band’s first swing record since Riot—pairs political and social commentary against upbeat music as seamlessly and subversively as ever. It’s a thoughtprovoking good time. BRIAN PALMER. Alhambra Theatre, 4811 SE Hawthorne Blvd. 8:30 pm. $15 advance, $20 day of show. 21+.
Big Black Delta
[TECH POP] Since Melodrone’s last full-length record in 2009, front-
man Jonathan Bates has spent his time making spacey music under the name Big Black Delta. The new self-titled album is a collection of loud techno-pop songs that alternate between nuanced synths and insistent beats; it all kind of sounds like Julian Casablancas singing over a helicopter. BBD’s first single,“Side of the Road,” layers electro vocals over cosmic noise and a chugging bass and vocals that are often fragmented and muddled. JOE DONOVAN. Bunk Bar, 1028 SE Water Ave., 894-9708. 10 pm. $10. 21+.
Michele Van Kleef, Steve Hale
[ACOUSTIC SOUL] Michele Van Kleef does a little bit of everything. She can give you soft, lush vocals or impassioned, crackling cries, in which her throat gets as arid as the landscapes her tales sometimes depict. Musically, you are just as likely to hear a folk ballad as you are the kind of track perfect for a sunset highway ride, and that doesn’t take into account the simultaneously sinister and sultry funk tracks like “Paint You Red.” Van Kleef’s diversity will keep you off balance, but you’ll be left wanting more. BRIAN PALMER. Jimmy Mak’s, 221 NW 10th Ave., 295-6542. 8 pm. $12. All ages.
William Tyler, Hip Hatchet
[GUITAR TRANSCENDENCE] The name William Tyler may be unfamiliar, but any fan of modern Americana probably knows his day job. After playing guitar with Lambchop and the Silver Jews, Tyler released two solo records of spare, reverb-drenched folk soundscapes that put the Nashville guitarist’s expressionist finger-pickin’ front and center. In reference to his excellent 2013 release, Behold the Spirit, the term “folk” is an inappropriate descriptor: The high and lonesome
CONT. on page 52
FLASHBACK
[NEW BOSSA NOVA] Oakland quartet Trails and Ways exudes a certain seductiveness, bending classic bossa nova structures toward pop in a sleek, ethereal fashion. The group’s latest EP, Trilingual, testifies to its smooth charm, employing a smattering of lounge-friendly sounds that are both worldly and modern. With shared vocals swerving in and out of English and Spanish, gently bubbling bass and a punchy Latin flare, Trails and Ways reflects present-day West Coast America. Imagine Of Monsters and Men after a year abroad in Brazil and you’re on the right track. MARK STOCK. Bunk Bar, 1028 SE Water Ave., 894-9708. 9 pm. $8 advance, $10 day of show. 21+.
Kobo Town, Brother
&A TRibE CALLED RED
1999’s “I’m Dead (but I Don’t Know It),” skewering those assembled dinosaurs with lines that can’t be argued with like, “Each record that I’m making/Is like a record that I’ve made/Just not as good.” But that rendering underscored the delicate artistic temperament balancing act Newman performs, to practice his scathing satire while remaining his affable self, as his gags visibly curdled on the smugly sneering lip of Don Henley—who’d joined Newman for the song as though being on the receiving end of the message would somehow render him immune to it. JEFF ROSENBERG. Oregon Zoo, 4001 SW Canyon Road, 220-2789. 7 pm. $28$48. All ages.
M AT T H E W S I N G E R
MUSIC
[CANADIAN CALYPSO] Canada is not the first country to come to mind when you think of calypso, yet that’s exactly the kind of music frontman Drew Gonsalves and his eight-piece band of Trinidadian expats channel on their sophomore effort, Jumbie in the Jukebox. Gonsalves, a Port of Spain native until he relocated at age 13, has always had a soft spot for his homeland. The result of his nostalgia is a swinging piece of modernized calypso that bobs between folky Caribbean pop and lax reggae on the cusp of hip-hop. Brass-heavy choruses and West-Indian percussion swamp the album, while Gonsalves’ wry vocal delivery and droll commentary tackles controversial matters of vagrancy and the apocalypse. BRANDON WIDDER. Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., 288-3895. 9 pm. $15 advance, $18 day of show. 21+.
Randy Newman
[GIVE ’EM HALL] Upon his April induction into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, before a roomful of past-due zombie rockers, the most brilliant satirist of the era let loose
FLASHBACK: Flaming Lips [MPS, 200]
The Flaming Lips’ Wayne Coyne (right, in space bubble) directing a video at Mount Tabor in 2009. From wweek.com: “If the Flaming Lips’ music isn’t enough to convince you of Wayne Coyne’s genius, consider this: The dude designed a video that would allow him to audition bare breasts for the role of Naked Woman Emerging from a Giant Spherical Vagina. On Wednesday, Coyne directed a clip for the song ‘Watching the Planets,’ off the band’s upcoming double-disc Embryonic, in the wilds of Mount Tabor. He put out an open, on-the-spot casting call for a woman willing to drop trou and top and climb out of a huge hairy ball bearing a striking resemblance to a female reproductive organ. For the next hour or so, a huddled group of about two dozen onlookers (including a father and his two young, giggling kids) got to watch the amateur actress climb in and out of the object referred to in the storyboard—scribbled on a yellow notepad—as a ‘fur vag,’ while Coyne instructed her to ‘get your boobs in the air,’ sounding either like the world’s artiest softcore porn director or the sleaziest artfilm director, ever.”—Matthew Singer, Sept. 24, 2009. SEE IT: The Flaming Lips play McMenamins Edgefield, 2126 SW Halsey St., Troutdale, with Wild Ones, on Saturday, July 27. 6:30 pm. $42. All ages.
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Willamette Week JULY 24, 2013 wweek.com
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N AT H A N I E L YO U N G
PROFILE
DUSTYN ASTBURY A son of hard-rock royalty forges his own path in EDM.
[ROCK-CAMP STAR] In one form or another, Dustyn Astbury grew up training for a life in music. From age 13, he spent many of his summers attending Rock & Roll Camp in his hometown of Pendleton, Ore., where he went from learning guitar to teaching other kids how to play. When he wasn’t there, he was in a different, more immersive kind of rock camp: living with his father, Ian Astbury of the Cult. That’s where he heard the likes of David Bowie and Primal Scream for the first time, and where he first picked up a guitar. Those vacations taught him other life lessons as well—like the time he was staying with his dad in New York, where he gave a stranger he met skateboarding in Union Square money to buy him pot, and the guy never came back. “I’m from Pendleton, I trust everybody,” says Astbury from a table at World Cup Coffee inside Powell’s. “I started to realize you can’t trust everyone in the world.” Now 20, Astbury knows better. But, as he’s transitioned from his formative years into trying to establish himself as an artist, he’s finding he still has more to learn. In the two years since dropping out of high school and moving to Portland, Astbury has run into an almost comical series of impasses. He and his thenbandmates got evicted from their house, and the landlord threw away his guitar and amp. Then the band broke up, and an album half-recorded with Victor Nash of Point Juncture, WA went unfinished. Another record, a collaboration with omnipresent local drummer Papi Fimbres, got lost when his computer crashed. Astbury refers to this period as a “downfall,” though sitting across from him, he doesn’t seem particularly troubled. Part of him knows these setbacks will end up being essential to his development. After all, while struggling to get what would become the Cult off the ground, his dad—who’ll be in town with his band this week, playing its seminal 1987 record, Electric, in full—begged on the streets of London and lived in squats. So the younger Astbury can hardly complain. Not that he’s trying to follow in his father’s hard-rock footsteps, anyway. Although he dabbled in punk and metal as a teenager—including a group called Stalin, which he describes as “psychedelic surf music,” even though everyone else called them “power violence,” and Wizard, a synth-driven party-punk band— Astbury has more recently gotten into the electronic beat scene, producing various EDM styles under the name DVST. He hooked up with the Portland-based STYLSS label last year, and has plans to start his own spinoff collective. He speaks excitedly about the near future, though his “downfall” period hasn’t quite alleviated: Just a few weeks ago, he lost all his music when his hard drive crashed for a second time. In February, he started experiencing intermittent panic attacks, in part over the pressure he’s put on himself to succeed in the family business. But, as his dad learned through his own crawl from street punk to thunder-bearing rock-star frontman, good things come to those who don’t wait for them to happen. “Don’t wait for the applause,” Ian told him recently, “just keep on going.” MATTHEW SINGER. SEE IT: The Cult plays Roseland Theater, 8 NW 6th Ave., with White Hills, on Monday, July 29. 8 pm. $30-$45. 21+.
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Willamette Week JULY 24, 2013 wweek.com
Willamette Weekly 07-24_08-21-13.indd 1
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6/20/13 11:21 AM
MUSIC win tickets to willamette week’s wednesday, July 24
sounds of Tyler’s moody twang are in a class all their own. The sway of post-rock and John Fahey’s rustic meanderings may seem to make strange bedfellows, but fans of both will find a lot to love about Tyler. PETE COTTELL. Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., 288-3895. 7 pm. $10. 21+.
Soft Metals, Black Marble, Light House
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Upcoming In-Store Performan TESS DUNN
THURSDAY, 7/25 @ 6 PM A talented pianist and keytarist with a dynamic stage presence, Tess is a musical warrior. Tess began writing songs at 11 and took to the stage at 12. Her second album, Honesty Box, is replete with punchy lyrics and heartfelt melodies that shine when she’s on stage.
BROTHER
FRIDAY, 7/26 @ 6 PM Fusing signature vocals and guitar with the deep pulse of the didgeridoo, the soaring high of bagpipes and tribal percussion, Brother is wholly original. The band’s powerhouse live performances are an energetic celebration, captivating and engaging the audience from the first song to the last.
JACOB ACOSTA
MONDAY, 7/29 @ 6 PM Jacob Acosta embarks on his first journey back to his singer/songwriter beginnings with his newest release, Chants of Diplomacy. This astonishing performer delivers a stunning show and a truly passionate musical approach to the human experience.
MICHAEL FENNELLY TUESDAY, 7/30 @ 6 PM
record release autograph event Michael Fennelly, the front man of 1960s power-pop legends Crabby Appleton, and member of The Millennium. Celebrating the new release Love Can Change Everything: Demos 19671972, Fennelly will be there to sign albums for fans.
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SATURDAY-SUNDAY
Willamette Week JULY 24, 2013 wweek.com
[METAMORPHIC TECHNO] So they’ve abandoned Portland for L.A. like another electronic couple, Yacht. The difference is that Soft Metals started as a musical project and then went all lovey-dovey— a border many musicians would advise not crossing. But boundaries are not something that concern Soft Metals musically, either. Covering Throbbing Gristle’s 1979 pre-techno song “Hot on the Heels of Love,” Soft Metals might be pegged as an industrial duo, with those oh-so-ofthe-moment waify vocals. But listen to “In the Air,” a single off its justreleased sophomore record, Lenses, and you’ll hear happier arpeggiation and distant cousins of discopop melodies kept swirling by krautrock. They’re, like, soft and hard at the same time. Get it? MITCH LILLIE. Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., 288-3895. 10 pm. $10. 21+.
A Pale Blue Dot, Concrete Floor, E*Rock, Jason Urick, Leisure LLC, Memoir, Tunnels
[SAGAN DISCO] It’s pretty amazing how Voyager 1’s 1990 photo of Earth, a fraction of a pixel against a grainy haze, has moved so many people to learn more about astronomy. As a side effect, the image has prompted at least two American groups to adopt the name. No offense to the bluesy garage rock of Nashville’s version, but the Bay Area-based group promises “Carl Sagan-inspired disco,” and we’re pretty much smitten. Live, the trio could use a little more of Sagan’s happy-go-lucky grinning and general goofy irreverence, but the music speaks for itself. MITCH LILLIE. Multiplex, 625 NW Everett St., No. 101. 4 pm. $5. All ages.
LeAnn Rimes
[COUNTRY CREAMSICLE] What’s going on with LeAnn Rimes in the music world: This year, she released her 11th studio album, Spitfire. What’s going on with LeAnn Rimes that people actually talk about: She had an affair with a Real Housewives star’s husband, and embroiled herself in a tabloid-sizzling feud that still emits sparks two years after she successfully stole and married the dude. Whether you follow her scandals on TMZ or still lip sync to “How Do I Live” on cassette, you can sway along to the child prodigy’s pop-country twang on the lawn at this week’s edition of the Oregon Zoo Concert Series. GRACE STAINBACK. Oregon Zoo, 4001 SW Canyon Road, 220-2789. 7 pm. $32.50-$52.50. All ages.
SUNDAY, JULY 28 Daughn Gibson, Steve Gunn, Cairo Pythian, WC Beck, Barna Howard
[BARITONE BANSHEE] Daughn Gibson is the Colin Stetson of vocal delivery, charting highly experimental journeys set in a low, low register. His voice seems to stem from the core of the earth, channeling up through ancient lava flows before bursting onto land as a dark, sinister cloud. Last year, Gibson released All Hell, one of the year’s more interesting records, a hybrid of dark electronica, Americana, blues and his signature bellowing. Now with Sub Pop, Gibson has released Me Moan, solidifying the Pennsylvania musician’s menacing presence as a deep, dark troubadour. MARK STOCK. Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside St., 231-9663. 9 pm. $10 advance, $12 day of show. 21+.
EL-P, Killer Mike, Despot, Kool A.D.
[DEATH RAP] Southern MC Killer Mike and Brooklyn producer-rapper extraordinaire El-P have become the Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez of hip-hop, teaming to create beautifully gruesome and destructive works of art that are as entertaining as they are disturbing. The duo collaborated on each of its last solo albums and has now come together for a proper group release in Run the Jewels, one of the best hip-hop releases of the year thus far. Mike goes absolutely apeshit over El-P’s bass-y, synth-laced deathstar beats. Even better, Mike and El often switch bars back and forth, grabbing their crotches and spitting about their greatness while honoring the traditions of vintage hiphop. It’s the most fun you’ll have
with a rap album in quite some time. And word is, their live shows are just as entertaining. REED JACKSON. Hawthorne Theatre, 1507 SE 39th Ave., 233-7100. 8 pm. $18 advance, $20 day of show. All ages.
Jeffrey Jerusalem, E*Rock, RAC DJs
[DANCE BEAT] One listen to Jeffrey Jerusalem’s music and it’s obvious he’s a drummer, though the fact that he’s a drummer for Yacht might not be so clear. Jerusalem’s voice plays with melodies like they’re something to be broken, tearing up and down scales with a slight nervous warble. His beats, however, do not fuck around. Whether techno, pop or something in between, Jerusalem calls on the earthy, clean and deep sounds of talking drums and low-end vibraphones to form
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ALBUM REVIEWS
W.C. BECK QUIVIRA (SELF-RELEASED) [TRAD COUNTRY] “Better days are coming soon,” promises W.C. Beck on this set of purist country tunes, though what he really means to say is that the best days—for country music, anyway—are long behind us. Over a breezy acoustic shuffle, the 29-year-old singersongwriter laments the current state of the industry, arguing—in his warm, exagerrated twang—that country lost its way when it abandoned the “outworn highways” of Texas and Tennessee. Never mind that Beck lives in Portland, and is originally from Kansas. On his previous albums, Beck put a personalized stamp on old-time folkiness. But too often on Quivira, he sounds like he’s scootin’ in someone else’s boots. Abetted by the Portland Country Underground, an all-star team of LaurelThirst regulars, the album features whip-sharp playing, but only a few songs feel truly lived-in. Beck pairs well with Sara Catherine Wheatley, whose stage-trained voice powers the “love in times of low-income” swinger “Doctor.” Twinkling ballads like “Good Enough Ain’t Good Enough” acquit Beck the best. But the barn-rocking rave-ups (“I Gotta Sing,” the Cajun-flavored “Nouvelle Orleans”) are too controlled to really shake the house down. And while the lighthearted misogyny of “Real Woman” might be in jest, it’s just not a great look. Beck’s effort to reclaim country’s soul is commendable, but it can’t help seeming a bit like a masquerade. MATTHEW SINGER. SEE IT: W.C. Beck and the Portland Country Underground play Alberta Street Pub, 1036 NE Alberta St., with Barna Howard, on Friday, July 26. 8 pm. $10. 21+.
MINDEN WHAT’S MORE THAN APPROPRIATE? (SELF-RELEASED)
[GLAM POP] In the video for “Gold Standard,” off last year’s Exotic Cakes LP, the Missouri transplants in Minden introduced themselves to Portland by stuffing their most hirsute member into a spandex unitard and having him vogue a choreographed Jazzercise routine over a slinky, keyboard-spangled lounge-funk groove. It was never clear just how seriously to take them, but the hooks were serious enough to make the group one of the more buzzed-over new bands in the city. On this free four-song EP, Minden continues coming on like Phoenix with thicker chest hair. The title track spins and sparkles like a freshly pressure-washed disco ball, with frontman Casey Burge cooing, in a breathy, come-hither falsetto, “Sometimes it’s good to do some wrong.” “You’re On the Edge” and “Keep Your Charm” ride the tight interplay between drummer Ryan Johnson and bassist Evan Houston, while “Trash Manor” floats on a cloudbed of fluffy synths that wouldn’t sound out of place on a mid-’80s adult-contempo R&B record. How much of this is delivered with ironic, leotard-clad poses in mind? At this point, does it even matter? MATTHEW SINGER. SEE IT: Minden plays the Rigsketball Show & Tournament Finals at Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison St., with the Woolen Men, Wooden Indian Burial Ground, Grandparents, the We Shared Milk, Mister Tang and DJ Devin Gallagher, on Wednesday, July 24. 6 pm. Free. 21+.
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MICKEY HART
(GRATEFUL DEAD) SPECIAL AUTOGRAPH SESSION & RECORD RELEASE EVENT
FRIDAY, 8/2 @ 7 PM Mickey Hart is best known for his nearly three decades as an integral part of an extraordinary expedition into the soul and spirit of music, disguised as the rock ‘n’ roll band the Grateful Dead. Influenced by everything from neuroscience to ancient cultures, Hart is always embarking on a new adventure, with his latest being The Mickey Hart Band’s new album, Superorganism (available at in-store). Willamette Week JULY 24, 2013 wweek.com
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SUNDAY-MONDAY/CLASSICAL, ETC. A D A M WA L L A C AVA G E
MUSIC
A HUNKA BROODING LOVE: Daughn Gibson plays Doug Fir Lounge on Sunday, July 28. the backbone of his songs, with any additional snares and claps reduced to tiny pops to add a pleasant bounce. In 2013, he has moved more to the dark-techno side with “Decay,” a production so maximal and on point it’s hard to believe it was produced anywhere east of Berlin. The effect? Jerusalem makes everyone else’s lazyass feet march to the beat of his drums. MITCH LILLIE. Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison St., 239-7639. 9 pm. $5. 21+.
even their respective fan bases. On debut album Hokey Fright, Aesop spits his usual complex game over Dawson’s preschool-simple acoustic twee-pop jangle and beats built from kitchen utensils. It’s unclear who this is supposed to appeal to exactly, but then I’ve never understood who the artists appeal to on their own anyway. MATTHEW SINGER. Wonder Ballroom, 128 NE Russell St., 284-8686. 7:30 pm. $18 advance, $20 day of show. All ages.
Rush
CLASSICAL, JAZZ & WORLD
[ROCK GODS] After nearly four decades of being the world’s biggest cult band, Rush has indisputably entered a pantheon alongside the Beatles, Led Zeppelin and the Who. Unlike many of its peers, though, Rush continues to release progressive and challenging new work, like 2012’s high-concept Clockwork Angels, most of which is being performed with a string section during the second sets of this tour. Before intermission, diehard fans will be treated to an indulgent set of selections from the group’s often overlooked ’80s synth period. This is not a greatest-hits trip by any means, though the encore delivers enough firepower to level Clark County. NATHAN CARSON. Sleep Country Amphitheater, 17200 NE Delfel Road, Ridgefield, Wash., 360-8167000. 7:30 pm. $35-$99. All ages.
MONDAY, JULY 29 Steve Gunn, Ilyas Ahmed, Jonathan Sielaff
[SOLO GUITAR MASTERY] Like so many of the guitar players who are a part of today’s musical universe, Steve Gunn can adapt his playing into any number of approaches— everything from backing up the narcotized visions of Kurt Vile or wandering in a mystic haze whipped up by himself and drummer John Truscinski. Alone, the spirit of American primitivism prevails. Gunn plays with the same steely beauty of icons like John Fahey and Robbie Basho, spinning off handpicked blues and folk that is swimming with melody. Joining him tonight is fellow local guitar inspiration Ilyas Ahmed playing a rare solo set. ROBERT HAM. Little Axe Records, 5012 NE 28th Ave. 9 pm. Call venue for ticket information. All ages.
The Uncluded, Hamell on Trial
[TWEE-HOP] El-P and Killer Mike aren’t the only hip-hop tandem in town this week, but this one is…well, certainly not intuitive. Although it makes a bit more sense when you think about it: Both rapper Aesop Rock, with his pretzel-tongued lyrical abstractions, and singer-songwriter Kimya Dawson, best known as one half of the Moldy Peaches and for her gratingly childlike contributions to the Juno soundtrack, are cult artists loved and reviled in equal measure. As the Uncluded, the duo seems destined to polarize
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Willamette Week JULY 24, 2013 wweek.com
Sherrie Van Hine
[CONTEMPORARY CLASSICAL] In the summer’s top showcase of contemporary homegrown vocal chamber music, the local mezzosoprano is accompanied by flute, cello, violin and piano in music by Portland composers Bonnie Miksch, David York, Ted Clifford (a world premiere) and DoJump and Aurora Chorus composer Joan Szymko. This includes Szymko’s settings of Inuit and Igloolik poems Van Hine commissioned and premiered. The splendid program also includes 20th-century classics by Samuel Barber, Manuel de Falla and Kander and Ebb, plus works by other terrific contemporary composers like Seattle-born William Bolcom, Jake Heggie, and Ricky Ian Gordon. Half of the proceeds go to the Lindsay Reed Medical Fund. BRETT CAMPBELL. Eliot Chapel, First Unitarian Church, 1011 SW Salmon St., 985-6746. 4 pm Sunday, July 28. Donations accepted. All ages.
Chamber Music Northwest: Letters From Argentina
[CINEMATIC TANGO] Hollywood composer Lalo Schifrin is probably doomed to be remembered for his immortal Mission: Impossible theme. But the Argentine-turnedAngeleno—the son of the Buenos Aires Philharmonic Orchestra’s concertmaster—also studied with French classical composer Olivier Messiaen, played jazz in Paris nightclubs, created Latin America’s first jazz orchestra, recorded 100-plus albums in a five-decadeand-counting career, played piano in Dizzy Gillespie’s quintet and wrote for Gillespie as well as Stan Getz, Count Basie and more. The four-time Grammy winner has also composed “classical” concert works for major orchestras this nine-movement tango-charged suite inspired by his homeland’s people, places and native musical forms that closes this summer’s Chamber Music Northwest festival. As he did in CMNW’s 2007 West Coast premiere of Letters From Argentina, Chamber Music Northwest artistic director David Shifrin will pay homage to his late distant cousin, playing clarinet alongside a stellar ensemble featuring bandoneon accordion, bass, violin, piano and percussion. BRETT CAMPBELL. Kaul Auditorium at Reed College, 3203 SE Woodstock Blvd. 4 pm Sunday, July 28. $15-$50. All ages.
Willamette Week JULY 24, 2013 wweek.com
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Below, are the CD Baby guidelines for preferred logo usage and color palette. You can also download the CD Baby logo in high and low resolution versions in multiple formats. If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to contact us.
™
SPICED RUM
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Willamette Week JULY 24, 2013 wweek.com
MUSIC CALENDAR = WW Pick. Highly recommended. Editor: Mitch Lillie. TO HAVE YOUR EVENT LISTED, send show information at least two weeks in advance on the web at wweek.com/submitevents or (if you book a specific venue) enter your events at dbmonkey. com/wweek. Press kits, CDs and especially vinyl can be sent to Music Desk, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Please include show or release date information with all physical mailings. Email: music@wweek.com.
[JULY 24-30] Kingston Club, the Israelites Habesha
801 NE Broadway Daniel Rafn, the Tempers, William Ingrid
Cathedral Park
Katie O’Briens
Portland Festival Symphony: Weber, Mozart, Strauss, Tchaikovski Dante’s
PAU L W R I G H T
2809 NE Sandy Blvd. 42 Ford Prefect, The Pinehurst Kids, Galatea
Kells Brewpub
210 NW 21st Ave. Sami Rouisi
Kelly’s Olympian
426 SW Washington St. Lil Ass Boom Box Festival: Tiananmen Bear, Friends and Family, Sphynx
Kenton Club
2025 N Kilpatrick St. Smoke Rings, Ethereal and the Queer Show
Langano Lounge
1435 SE Hawthorne Blvd.
Blackbars Mississippi Studios 3939 N Mississippi Ave. Soul’d Out Festival: Kobo Town, Brother
Music Millennium
3158 E Burnside St. Brother
O’Connor’s Vault
TINY-GUITAR HERO: Kobo Town plays Mississippi Studios on Friday, July 26.
WED. JULY 24 Al’s Den at the Crystal Hotel 303 SW 12th Ave. Russell Stafford, Tyler Stenson
Aladdin Theater
3017 SE Milwaukie Ave. Dan Hicks and the Hot Licks, Jaime Leopold and the Short Stories
Alberta Rose Theatre 3000 NE Alberta St. The Dover Quartet, Gabriel Kahane
Andina
1314 NW Glisan St. Toshi Onizuka
Ash Street Saloon
Dead Remedy, Governess, the Mucks
Kenton Club
2025 N Kilpatrick St. Little Volcano
Langano Lounge
1435 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Volsted
Main Street
Main St. and Park Ave. Y La Bamba
Mississippi Studios
3939 N Mississippi Ave. David Jacobs-Strain, Brooks Robertson
Record Room
8 NE Killingsworth St. Mustaphomond, Carima, Excuses, Panzer Beat
Ash Street Saloon
225 SW Ash St. Jacob Acosta, the Jaunting Martyrs, Balto Balto, Scott Brockett
Backspace
115 NW 5th Ave. Myke Bogan, Stewart Villain, Serge Server
Bunk Bar
1028 SE Water Ave. Party Damage Records Party: Vin Blanc/White Wine, Your Rival
Dante’s
350 W Burnside St. Funk & Roses
Doug Fir Lounge
830 E Burnside St. Nasalrod, Big Black Cloud, Raw Nerves
225 SW Ash St. The Sindicate, the Longshots, Smash Bandits
Slabtown
Backspace
13 NW 6th Ave. Caravan Palace, DJ GlobalRuckus
203 SE Grand Ave. Parasitic Ejaculation, Logistic Slaughter, Compulsive Slasher, Torture Rack
Suki’s Bar & Grill
Goodfoot Lounge
115 NW 5th Ave. Reign the Arcade, Family Night, Yeti Sweater, Ellis Pink, Stephan Nance, Adam Casual
Doug Fir Lounge
830 E Burnside St. The Cat Empire, Tinpan Orange
East End
203 SE Grand Ave. La Fin Absolute du Monde, Estocar
Habesha
801 NE Broadway Gaime, Pardee Shorts, U Sco, From the Petrified Forest
Hawthorne Theatre
1507 SE 39th Ave. Scott H. Biram, I Can Lick Any SOB In The House
Holocene
1001 SE Morrison St. The Rigsketball Tournament and Finals: The Woolen Men, Wooden Indian Burial Ground, Minden, Grandparents, Gaytheist, the We Shared Milk, Mister Tang
Kelly’s Olympian
426 SW Washington St.
1033 NW 16th Ave. Burning Dolls
Star Theater
2401 SW 4th Ave. Edewaard
The Know
2026 NE Alberta St. Towers, Poney, Mammoth Salmon
The Old Church
1422 SW 11th Ave. Nathan Kondrat
Vie de Boheme 1530 SE 7th Ave.
Bohemian Blues: DJs Lynn Winkle & Mark Stauffer Wonder Ballroom
128 NE Russell St. We the Kings, Breathe Carolina, T. Mills, the Ready Set, Keep It Cute
THURS. JULY 25 Al’s Den at the Crystal Hotel 303 SW 12th Ave. Russell Stafford, Travis Williams
Aladdin Theater
3017 SE Milwaukie Ave. Son Volt, Colonel Ford
East End
2845 SE Stark St. Zony Mash, Horns
Hawthorne Theatre
Slabtown
1033 NW 16th Ave. John Kirlin and the High Plains Drifters
Tiger Bar
317 NW Broadway Karaoke From Hell
Velo Cult
1969 NE 42nd Ave. Holly’s Wood & Her Unknown Blues Band
Vie de Boheme 1530 SE 7th Ave.
Paula Byrne White Eagle Saloon 836 N Russell St. Lady Justice, Session, the Sale
FRI. JULY 26 Alhambra Theatre
4811 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Unicorn Domination, Scorpion Warrior, DJ Halo, MrMoo
Ash Street Saloon 225 SW Ash St. Rabbits, Drunk Dad, Same Sex Dictator, Prizehog
1507 SE 39th Ave. For the Life of Me, We the Wild, Walter & the Conquerer, Kaia, FM Vices, Harken (acoustic)
Backspace
Holocene
320 SE 2nd Ave. For Those Alive, The Unspoken Word, An Effortless Approach, MEDIUM SIZED KIDS, Whispers Of Wonder
1001 SE Morrison St. Surfrider Summer Soiree: Renegade Stringband
Kelly’s Olympian
426 SW Washington St. Rusty Maples, The Siren and the Sea, Lithopedion
Kenton Club
2025 N Kilpatrick St. The Lopez, Butt 2 Butt, Mufassa
Mississippi Studios
3939 N Mississippi Ave. Steelhead, PHOX, Donovan Breakwater
Peter’s Room
8 NW 6th Ave. Joe Budden, Crooked I
Savoy Tavern & Lounge 2500 SE Clinton St. Edna Vazquez
115 NW 5th Ave. Dresses, Bevelers, Tess Dunn
Branx
Bunk Bar
1028 SE Water Ave. Trails and Ways, De La Warr, Soft White Sixties
Disjecta
8371 N Interstate Ave. Evan Caminiti, Vestals, Golden Retriever, Names
Doug Fir Lounge
830 E Burnside St. Mbrascatu, Eclectic Approach, Ryan VanDordrecht
East End
203 SE Grand Ave.
1028 SE Water Ave. Big Black Delta
Hawthorne Theatre
1507 SE 39th Ave. Bad Rabbits, Air Dubai, Sahtyre, Gavin Castleton
For more listings, check out wweek.com.
From Indian Lakes, Tallhart, Makeshift Prodigy, Grizzly Bunk Bar
7850 SW Capitol Highway Jack McMahon
Oregon Zoo
4001 SW Canyon Road Randy Newman
Plew’s Brews
8409 N Lombard St. Northern Currents
Replicant
1212 SE Powell Blvd Beatogether: Telephobia, Suna, Ben Durazzo, Philip Grass
Slabtown
Edison and Pittsburg Ave.
350 W Burnside St. Wehrmacht, Rat Priest, Weresquatch
Doug Fir Lounge
830 E Burnside St. Alexander Tragedy, Novosti, Matt Brown & the Connection
East End
203 SE Grand Ave. Progress Band, Ramune Rocket, Reign Cycle, toyboat toyboat toyboat
Hawthorne Theatre
1507 SE 39th Ave. Anonymia, Chronological Injustice, Choke the Silence, The Rise the Fall, Tetramorphic, Atriad
Kelly’s Olympian
426 SW Washington St. Andisheh, Joy Pearson, Samsel and the Skirt
Kenton Club
2025 N Kilpatrick St. The Love Sicks
Langano Lounge
1435 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Uve, Fat Nancy
LaurelThirst
2958 NE Glisan St. De La Warr, Maggie Gibson, Anna & the Underbelly, The Western Front
McMenamins Edgefield
2126 SW Halsey St., Troutdale The Flaming Lips, Wild Ones
Mississippi Studios
1033 NW 16th Ave. White Night, Youthbitch, Wormbag
3939 N Mississippi Ave. William Tyler, Hip Hatchet
Star Theater
Mississippi Studios
13 NW 6th Ave.
Da’Ville, Loa Pole’o, Backline Band The Blue Monk 3341 SE Belmont St. Trio Subtonic, Naomi LaViolette
The Know
2026 NE Alberta St. Naam, Wizard Rifle, Crag Dweller, DJ Nate C
The Secret Society Ballroom
116 NE Russell St. The Doubleclicks, Sarah Donner, Pete Krebs and His Portland Playboys
Wonder Ballroom
128 NE Russell St. This Charming Band, For The Masses, Xploding Boys
Sat. July 27 Alhambra Theatre
4811 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Cherry Poppin’ Daddies
Andina
1314 NW Glisan St. Toshi Onizuka Trio
Artichoke Community Music 3130A SE Hawthorne Blvd. Steve Stash, Nancy McFarlane
Ash Street Saloon
225 SW Ash St. Xanthochroid, Terraclipse, Ritual Healing, Blood Magic
Backspace
115 NW 5th Ave.
3939 N Mississippi Ave. Soft Metals, Black Marble, Light House
Multiplex
625 NW Everett #101 A Pale Blue Dot, Concrete Floor, E*Rock, Jason Urick, Leisure LLC, Memoir, Tunnels
Oregon Zoo
4001 SW Canyon Road LeAnn Rimes
Slabtown
1033 NW 16th Ave. 1776, Paradise, Snake Island!, Boo Frog
The Analog
720 SE Hawthorne Aghori, Othrys, Separation of Sanity
The Know
2026 NE Alberta St. The Snags, Sleeptalker
The Lovecraft
421 SE Grand Ave. Snowdrift, Freak Kings, DJ Maxamillion
The Piano Fort
1715 SE Spokane St. Musée Mécanique
Winningstad Theatre
Portland Center for the Performing Arts, 1111 SW Broadway Chris Waggoner & the Play Me Band (Neil Diamond tribute)
SUN. JULY 28 Al’s Den at the Crystal Hotel 303 SW 12th Ave. Mike Brown
Backspace
115 NW 5th Ave.
Alex Goot, Sam Tsui and Kurt Hugo Schneider, Luke Conrad & Landon Austin, King the Kid, The Toy Gun Conspiracy Dig a Pony 736 SE Grand Ave. Dig A Pony Turns 2: Ural Thomas & the Pain, Onuinu, DJ Cooky Parker, DJ Beyonda
Doug Fir Lounge
830 E Burnside St. Daughn Gibson, Steve Gunn, Cairo Pythian, WC Beck, Barna Howard
East End
203 SE Grand Ave. Sphynx, Child Children
Hawthorne Theatre
1507 SE 39th Ave. EL-P, Killer Mike, Despot, Kool A.D.
Holocene
1001 SE Morrison St. Hollywood Is Burning: Jeffrey Jerusalem, E*Rock, RAC DJs
Kelly’s Olympian
426 SW Washington St. Fake Nails, Busy Scissors, Tender Age
Mississippi Pizza
3552 N Mississippi Ave. Hungry, Hungry Hip Hop: Load B, The Resistance, Lazy Champions
Mississippi Studios
3939 N Mississippi Ave. Wild Cub, Doubleplusgood, Rare Times
O’Connor’s Vault 7850 SW Capitol Highway A Fine Mess
Oregon Zoo
4001 SW Canyon Road Indigo Girls
Rontoms
600 E Burnside St. Hustle & Drone, Hands In
Slabtown
1033 NW 16th Ave. 2194
Sleep Country Amphitheater
17200 NE Delfel Road, Ridgefield, Wash. Rush
The Blue Monk
3341 SE Belmont St. The Mermaid Problem, Terror Bird, Denim Wedding
The Elixir Lab
2738 NE Alberta St. Closely Watched Trains
The Know
2026 NE Alberta St. Atriarch, Hivelords, Sadgiqacea
Valentine’s
232 SW Ankeny St. Emotional, Leisure LLC, Jeans Wilder
Hawthorne Theatre 1507 SE 39th Ave. RX Bandits
Landmark Saloon
4847 SE Division St. High Flyer Trio, Saturday Night Drive
Langano Lounge
1435 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Daniel Avery, Tyler Morrison, Maxx Bass
Little Axe Records
5012 NE 28th Ave. Steve Gunn, Ilyas Ahmed, Jonathan Sielaff
Music Millennium
3158 E Burnside St. Jacob Acosta
Roseland Theater
8 NW 6th Ave. The Cult, White Hills
Slabtown
1033 NW 16th Ave. Ramshakle Glory, Abolitionist, Strangeweather
The Know
2026 NE Alberta St. Wild Mohicans, Deras Krig
Valentine’s
232 SW Ankeny St. Raina, Weird Fiction, Mattress
Wonder Ballroom
128 NE Russell St. The Uncluded, Hamell on Trial
Tues. July 30 Ash Street Saloon 225 SW Ash St. Phreak: Electronic Mutations
Backspace
115 NW 5th Ave. Mike Stud, Kurt, DJ MTK
Director Park
815 SW Park Ave. Kevin Selfe and the Tornadoes
East End
203 SE Grand Ave. LOCO ONO, Mr. Tang
Holocene
1001 SE Morrison St. The Slidells, DJ Breakmode, Deya Card Photography
Kelly’s Olympian
426 SW Washington St. Ape Machine, Jared James Nichols
Mississippi Studios
3939 N Mississippi Ave.
Holy Ghost Tent Revival, Sean and Zander Music Millennium
3158 E Burnside St. Michael Fennelly
Slabtown
1033 NW 16th Ave. Cutthroat Shamrock, Whiskey’s Lament
The Blue Monk
3341 SE Belmont St. Muscle and Marrow, Hardi-Har, Robert Duncan Gray, Hands In
The Know
MON. JULY 29 Ash Street Saloon
225 SW Ash St. Epidemic, Raw and Order, Machetaso Profano
Branx
320 SE 2nd Ave. Into Eternity, Abnormal Thought Patterns
Dante’s
350 W Burnside St. Karaoke From Hell: Youthbitch, the Cry
Director Park
815 SW Park Ave. Jason Okamoto
Doug Fir Lounge
2026 NE Alberta St. Wild Lungs
The Lovecraft
421 SE Grand Ave. Night Gaunts, Bottom of the Barrel, Bedlam Sisters
Valentine’s
232 SW Ankeny St. Mitchell Brown, John Krausbauer
Velo Cult
1969 NE 42nd Ave. Gold Diggers
White Eagle Saloon 836 N Russell St. Windy Hill, Left Coast Country
830 E Burnside St. Donna the Buffalo, The Believers
Willamette Week JULY 24, 2013 wweek.com
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MUSIC CALENDAR
JULY 24-30
BAR SPOTLIGHT E VA N J O H N S O N
Alberta Rose Theatre Wednesday, July 24th CHAMBER MUSIC NW CLUB CONCERT III
THE DOVER QUARTET WITH
GABRIEL KAHANE
July 26th and 27th
NIGHT FLIGHT
PRESENTS
SEA OF DREAMS
VESPERTINE CIRCUS PRESENTS Sunday, July 28th
IMPORTANT BUSINESS
Friday, August 2nd
The Backyard Blues Boys Saturday, August 3rd
KZME AND ROSE CITY VOODOO
PRESENT
PONY EXPRESS: Apologies to Hunter S. Thompson, but there’s nothing decadent about horse racing in 2013. Now that the sport of kings has been lowered to plebeian level, though, a day at the races holds a certain retro-patriotic charm if you can avoid asking yourself, “Do these magnificent creatures actually enjoy running in circles with human-shaped backpacks strapped to them?” An afternoon at Portland Meadows (1001 N Schmeer Road, 285-9144, portlandmeadows.com) is, simply put, one of the best day-drinking experiences in town. A rebranding campaign playing up the track’s 67-year history with nostalgic, Rockwell-style artwork has effectively turned the Meadows into the biggest hipster-gentrified dive bar in town. On opening day, a horde of 20-somethings dressed for a Mad Men theme party gathered at an outdoor tent for a “craft beer festival,” while inside the track, real-life Freddy Rumsens sat rumpled beneath the two-dozen television screens hanging above the bar, no doubt perturbed that it was suddenly taking the overwhelmed staff 20 minutes to crack open their Bud Lights. The old-fashioneds and mint juleps ($6 each) are sweetened beyond recognition, and the best you— as in, the novice who places bets purely based on the horse’s name—can ever hope to do after five hours is break even. But there’s an undeniable, near-primal thrill to standing on a bench, winning ticket in hand, and screaming, “Picture Me Rollin’!” That’s the name of the horse, you see. MATTHEW SINGER. The Rose
111 SW Ash St. 1 Year Anniversary Party: DJ Neil Armstrong, Starchile
Friday, August 9th
Valentine’s
WED. JULY 24 Dig a Pony
736 SE Grand Ave. Pussy Control: Nathan Detroit, Dj Freaky Outty
The Lovecraft
421 SE Grand Ave. Psychopomp: UWE 60D, Lacedon, DJ Oigo Eion
ANTSY MCCLAIN
TRAILER PARK TROUBADOURS
AND THE
WITH EDGAR CRUZ
Saturday, Aug 11th JamBallah decompression
with STELLAMARA
Tiga
1465 NE Prescott St. DJ Jen O.
THURS. JULY 25 231 SW Ankeny St. DJs Def Ro and Suga Shane
Club 21
2035 NE Glisan St. Biciphonics: DJ Rema, DJ Anna 736 SE Grand Ave. Newrotics
Valentine’s
8.16 - BREWER & SHIPLEY 8.20 - OTTMAR LIEBERT & LUNA NEGRA (503) 764-4131 3000 NE Alberta
AlbertaRoseTheatre.com
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Willamette Week JUNE 19, 2013 wweek.com
1001 SE Morrison St. Snap!: Dr. Adam, Colin Jones, Freaky Outty
Rotture
315 SE 3rd Ave. Blown: Ryan Organ, Carrier, Josh T, Antix, John-Henry, Saltfeend
The Lovecraft
421 SE Grand Ave. DJ Ronabell
Valentine’s
232 SW Ankeny St. DJ Naz
Berbati’s
Dig a Pony
Coming Soon
Holocene
232 SW Ankeny St. 4x4 DJ Night
FRI. JULY 26 Beech St. Parlor 412 NE Beech St. DJ One Crate
Dig a Pony
736 SE Grand Ave. DJ Icarus
SAT. JULY 27 Dig a Pony
736 SE Grand Ave. DJ Freaky Outty
Holocene
1001 SE Morrison St. Night Moves: Sex Life DJs, DJ Cooky Parker, Ohmega Watts
Rotture
315 SE 3rd Ave. Blow Pony: DJ Airick X, Stormy Roxx, G-Luve, Kasio Smashio, DJ Fingerbang, Thee Legendary Lady Bunny, Purple Crush
Star Theater
13 NW 6th Ave. ANDAZ: DJ Anjali, the Incredible Kid, Rayman Bhuller
232 SW Ankeny St. New Dadz DJs, Consequences Party
SUN. JULY 28 Star Theater
13 NW 6th Ave. Church of Hive
The Lovecraft
421 SE Grand Ave. Nightmoves: Acid Rick, Alan Park
MON. JULY 29 Dig a Pony
736 SE Grand Ave. DJ Homeless
The Lovecraft
421 SE Grand Ave. Departures: DJ Waisted, DJ Anais Ninja
TUES. JULY 30 Beech St. Parlor 412 NE Beech St. DJ El Dorado
Dig a Pony
736 SE Grand Ave. DJ Atom 13
Tiga
1465 NE Prescott St. DJ Nate C.
WW_smAdJuly24_13.pdf
1
7/20/13
2:06 PM
FREE ====================================== Pl Z P l Z Summer Concerts at the Oregon Convention Center Plaza
a a a oo a
FRIDAY, JULY 26
9pm. 21 & Over WHITE NIGHT • YOUTHBITCH WORMBAG
Presented by OREGON CONVENTION CENTER 101.9 KINK FM, ARAMARK and PACIFIC POWER Thursdays 6 pm to 8 pm • July 11 - August 29, 2013
SATURDAY, JULY 27 9pm. All Ages 1776 • PARADISE SNAKE ISLAND! • BOO FROG
July 25 Ty Curtis
SUNDAY, JULY 28 8pm. All Ages 2194
C
M
MONDAY, JULY 29
8pm. All Ages RAMSHAKLE GLORY • ABOLITIONIST STRANGEWEATHER Y
CM
TUESDAY, JULY 30 9pm. 21 & Over CUTTHROAT SHAMROCK WHISKEY’S LAMENT
Write Shoot Score
MY
CY
CMY
$5.00 at the door.
K
Falafel House 3 to Late–Night
All Ages Shows
Ty Curtis’ musical journey continues to explore new territory, but the heartfelt lyrics, emotional vocals and searing guitar licks are still there. At 25 Ty has already released four critically acclaimed CDs of original songs. Ty’s compositions range from soulful ballads to roadhouse rockers to reggae and blues. This free concert will also benefit the American Diabetes Association.
August 1 Dirty Martini
$5,000 Cash Prize. 500,000 Seconds. Have the filmmaking
ENDURANCE? TheFilmTriathlon.com 0 9 / 0 7 / 2 0 1 3
Every Sunday 8–11pm
Saturday @ 3pm:
Free Pinball Feeding Frenzy
Presented By
Within Spitting Distance of The Pearl
1033 NW 16th Ave. (971) 229-1455 OPEN: 3–2:30AM EVERY DAY
HAPPY HOUR: MON–FRI NOON–7PM Pop-A-Shot • Pinball • Skee-ball Air Hockey • Free Wi-Fi
/PlazaPalooza
@PlazaPalooza
777 NE MLK Jr Blvd, Portland OR 97232
Willamette Week JULY 24, 2013 wweek.com
59
PERFORMANCE
JULY 24–30 TRIUMPH PHOTOGRAPHY
= WW Pick. Highly recommended. Most prices listed are for advance ticket sales. At-the-door increases and so-called convenience charges may apply, so it’s best to call ahead. Editor: REBECCA JACOBSON. Theater: REBECCA JACOBSON (rjacobson@wweek.com). Dance: AARON SPENCER (dance@wweek.com). TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, submit information at least two weeks in advance to: rjacobson@wweek.com.
THEATER ...And the Great Refraction!
Fledgling company String House Theatre presents a devised work about the creative process, incorporating an alchemist and an outlaw in the Wild West, love triangles, acting exercises and an interspecies romantic duo. Action/Adventure Theatre, 1050 SE Clinton St. 7:30 pm ThursdaysSaturdays through July 27. $15.
Comedie of Errors
The Original Practice Shakespeare Festival takes a unique approach. Claiming to stage Shakespeare’s plays the way they were done in the Bard’s day, the company sets its shows outside, with minimal rehearsal, plentiful audience interaction and actors who switch roles for each performance. Shakespeare’s tale of two sets of twins and mistaken identities is a perfect fit for OPS Fest, and this adaptation flourishes as the actors improvise their way through bawdy humor and mix-ups. A recent Saturday performance incorporated bonus material solicited by a prompter, dressed like a referee, who sat at a table adjacent to the stage. Occasionally, she’d stop the play and ask a character to sing a love song, or to expound on “how he really feels,” or to improvise a dance. The actors are equally comfortable wielding swords as they are quoting Ghostbusters and The Princess Bride or confessing their love for specific audience members. For an unpracticed performance, the show is commendably clean and brief. But take note: Unless you want to be dragged into the action, don’t sit in front. JOE DONOVAN. Multiple locations , 8906944. Various Saturdays and Sundays through Sept. 29; see opsfest.org for exact times and dates. Free.
The Complete Works of William Shakespeare [Abridged]
If high-school English class made you despise Shakespeare, Post Five Theatre’s Complete Works will make you reconsider. This slapstick comedy, directed by Ty Boice, is an absurd farce but an all-around good time. Dressed in black tights and colorful jockstraps, Phillip Berns, Adam Thompson and Brett Wilson ambitiously take on all of the Bard’s 37 plays in 90 minutes. Romping around in goofy costumes and outrageous wigs, they could be called the Three Stooges of modern-day Shakespeare. Their bawdy, physical humor keeps the audience consistently amused— Wilson is particularly riotous as he sings, dances and spews water from his mouth, and he holds nothing back in his female impressions. With a casual setting in the Milepost 5 courtyard, mismatched chairs and a makeshift beer garden sit in close proximity to the rickety stage. Bear in mind that taking a front-row seat could result in an up-close and personal encounter with an actor, which may turn into an invitation onto the stage. While the action—and audience laughter with it—slows after intermission, a rap song about Othello and a race to see how quickly the actors can summarize Shakespeare’s work brings the play back to life for a fast-paced finale. HALEY MARTIN. Milepost 5, 850 NE 81st Ave., 262-853-9344. 7:30 pm Fridays-Sundays through Aug. 4. “Pay what you can.”
The Cunning Little Vixen
Opera Theater Oregon—a spirited and innovative nonprofit “devoted to making opera safe for America”— presents Czech composer Leos Janacek’s comic fable, told through the perspectives of both humans and animals. The story, with its Moravian folk songs and dance routines by the
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Agnieszka Laska Dancers, will unfold beneath the orchard trees of Sauvie Island’s Wild Goose Farm. Wild Goose Farm, 19433 NW Reeder Rd. 7:30 pm Wednesday-Saturday, July 24-27. $20.
JAW: A Playwrights Festival
Portland Center Stage’s annual Just Add Water festival features four inprogress works drawn from a national search. This year’s lineup is smaller than normal and unusually dark, with plays about mass murder at an apartment complex, a fire that destroys a young artist’s work and cruel McDonald’s managers. Plays workshopped at JAW often pop up on regional stages across the country, so this is a chance to see the theater of the future. Gerding Theater, 128 NW 11th Ave., 445-3700. 4 and 8 pm Friday-Saturday, July 26-27. Free.
Lovers’ Quarrels
Masque Alfresco, which produces commedia dell’arte reworkings of Moliere, updates the playwright’s domestic comedy with modern-day political references and plenty of slapstick. The family-friendly show tours to parks in Lake Oswego, Beaverton and Hillsboro. See masquelafresco.com for performance locations. Multiple venues. 7 pm Fridays-Sundays, July 19-Aug. 4 and Aug. 23-25. 7 pm Saturdays-Sundays, Aug. 10-18. Free.
Pocket Pulp: CRIMEdy Night
The Pulp Stage theater company presents stripped-down staged readings of three plays—by Nick Zagone, C.J. Ehrlich and Francesca Sanders—about prison, scandal and shady strangers. Funhouse Lounge, 2432 SE 11th Ave., 841-6734. 7:30 pm Thursday, July 25. Free, $5 suggested.
Some Americans Abroad
Hillsboro’s HART Theatre presents Richard Nelson’s comedy about a group of American college professors and their students who voyage to London for a marathon theater-going extravaganza. HART Theatre, 185 SE
Willamette Week JULY 24, 2013 wweek.com
Friday Night Fights
Competitive improv, with two teams battling for stage time. Curious Comedy, 5225 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., 477-9477. 10 pm every first and third Friday. $5.
How to Age Disgracefully
A new scripted sketch-comedy revue taking on the banalities and absurdities of life, death and the beyond. Caitlin Kunkel, a faculty member at Chicago’s fabled Second City, directs Brody Theater, 16 NW Broadway, 224-2227. 8 pm Saturdays through Aug. 10. $8-$10.
Greater Tuna
The best thing about Lakewood Theatre Company’s production of Greater Tuna isn’t the fact that just two actors successfully play a combined 21 different characters (22 if you count an invisible dog). Nor is the best thing the script’s biting wit, every intentionally mispronounced word delivered perfectly by both men. What’s really amazing is how an improvised scene with audience involvement manages to fit seamlessly into the overall production, a credit to the actors’ skill: They turn the audience into the congregation of the local Baptist church, commenting on the crowd’s clothing in a very funny, very hokey way. Directed by Steve Knox and starring Gary BricknerSchulz and Jay Randell Horenstein, Greater Tuna takes audiences into the world of 1980s Tuna, the “third-smallest town in Texas,” a place where the local Klan leader makes PSAs over the radio and the “Smut Snatchers” want to ban Shakespeare for corrupting youth. A series of satirical vignettes loosely connected by the town radio station OKKK, the play has a huge cast of characters, requiring the actors to change into radically different costumes quickly, something Brickner-Schulz and Horenstein do with seemingly inhuman speed (in as little as five to eight seconds in some cases). If you’re looking to spend your evening watching two expert actors perform a hilarious little piece of theater, look no further. RICHARD GRUNERT. Lakewood Center for the Arts, 368 S State St., Lake Oswego, 635-3901. 7:30 pm Thursdays through Saturdays; 2 and 7 pm some Sundays through Aug. 18. $32.
Tristian Spillman, Jim Willig, Matthew Edward, Iris Gorman, Jen Seaman and headliner Chris Smith. Patrick Perkins hosts. Ash Street Saloon, 225 SW Ash St., 226-0430. 9 pm Sunday, July 28. $5. 21+.
Instant Comedy
GREATER TUNA Washington St., 693-7815. 7:30 pm Fridays-Saturdays and 2 pm Sundays through July 28. $14.
1278. 7:30 pm Thursdays-Saturdays and some Wednesdays; 2 pm Sundays through Aug. 4. $20-$30.
The Tale of Cymbeline
True West
Portland Actors Ensemble continues its season with Shakespeare’s phenomenally convoluted romance. Performances take place in parks across the city. Multiple venues. Times and dates vary; see portlandactors.com for details. Free.
The Tamer Tamed
To complement its production of The Taming of the Shrew, Portland Shakespeare Project presents a staged reading of John Fletcher’s play, which was written—likely in the early 1600s— as a sequel to the Bard’s comedy. The Tamer Tamed finds that Kate, the shrew, has died, and Petruchio now has a wife even more ornery than the first. In a turning of the tables, the women now tame the man. Artists Repertory Theatre, 1515 SW Morrison St., 241-1278. 7:30 pm Wednesdays and Sundays and 2 pm Saturdays through Aug. 4. $15.
The Taming of the Shrew
Wild women need to be tamed by their husbands. Whether or not Shakespeare wrote The Taming of the Shrew as a prescription, his comedy holds this misogynistic thesis as proven fact. In the 21st century, though, the play can be taken only as farce, which is precisely how Portland Shakespeare Project treats it in this production directed by Michael Mendelson. As if the cast’s well-timed winks and intentional overplaying weren’t enough, sarcasm drips from every line: It’s feminist comedy at its most hilarious. Katherina (Maureen Porter) is the eponymous shrew, the shrieking, icy elder sister of Bianca (Foss Curtis), who has two suitors but cannot marry until Katherina has found a husband. Taming is actually an extended frame tale, with a poor, drunken man being tricked into believing he’s a lord. This is how the production opens, with Matthew Kerrigan in drag as the new lord’s wife, making flamboyant remarks as he takes iPhone photos of the passed-out peasant and intermittently implores his play-husband to “shutteth the hell up.” The arrival of Hortensio (an unmistakably Belushi-like Sam Dinkowitz), one of Bianca’s suitors, continues the uncouth comic relief. Part Italian slimeball and part prodigal frat boy, Dinkowitz won’t say Bianca’s name unless it’s sung as if in a pop song, and his affected lisp alone could carry a standup routine. The supporting cast steals many moments, but it’s the polished performances and feminist touches of the leads, especially Porter, that give Taming its political depth and make it such a successful production. Letting all the venom drain out of her voice, Porter intones with a narrow brow, “I’m ashamed that women are so simple.” MITCH LILLIE. Artists Repertory Theatre, 1515 SW Morrison St., 241-
The loosely organized company Our Shoes Are Red/The Performance Lab presents Sam Shepard’s seriocomic play about two battling brothers who attempt to write a great Hollywood Western. Lincoln Hall, Portland State University, 1620 SW Park Ave., 7253307. 8 pm Thursdays-Sundays through Aug. 18. $10-$15.
Tunde’s Trumpet
A wild array of funky puppets annoy, cajole and distract a talented 10-yearold trumpet player in this short, jazzy kids production from Boom Arts. Tunde (Blake Stone) has the heart to become a true musician, but first he must vanquish five challenges, including frustration and jealousy, in order to reach his potential. Powerful singer and storyteller Ithica Tell and live trumpeter Jon Roberts help anchor the can-do story, while puppets cleverly crafted from old piano keys, bungee cords and bedsheets charm gradeschool-aged viewers. KELLY CLARKE. Multiple locations, 567-1644. 6:30 pm Friday, July 26. 7 pm Friday, Aug. 2. 2 and 7 pm Saturday, Aug. 3. 2 pm Sunday, Aug. 4. Free-$25.
COMEDY Adam Ferrara
The co-host of the American version of Top Gear, and who’s also appeared on Rescue Meand The Job, brings his standup act to Helium. Helium Comedy Club, 1510 SE 9th Ave., 888-643-8669. 8 pm Thursday and 7:30 and 10 pm Friday-Saturday, July 25-27. $15-$27.
Citywide Theatresports Tournament
An elimination-style improv competition, with teams of Portland-area performers building scenes based on audience suggestions. Blank Slate won the last tournament, but can the troupe defend the crown? Brody Theater, 16 NW Broadway, 224-2227. 8 pm Fridays through Aug. 16 and 10 pm Saturdays through Aug. 3. $8-$10.
Diabolical Experiments
Improv jam show featuring Brody performers and other local improvisers. Brody Theater, 16 NW Broadway, 2242227. 7 pm every Sunday. $5.
With a list of audience-suggested topics, five comics compete for the title of comedic champ. The Curious Comedy Playas also perform improv sets Curious Comedy, 5225 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., 477-9477. 8 pm Fridays-Saturdays through Aug. 17. $12-$15.
Micetro
Brody Theater’s popular elimination-style improv competition. Brody Theater, 16 NW Broadway, 224-2227. 8 pm every Friday. $9-$12.
Mixology
Late-night comedy show with improv, sketch and stand-up. Curious Comedy, 5225 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., 477-9477. 10 pm every second and fourth Saturday. $5.
State Fair of the Union
An original sketch revue that takes aim at the American dream, consumerist fantasies and relationships, featuring a strong slate of local improv artists as TV morning show hosts. Curious Comedy, 5225 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., 477-9477. 8 pm FridaysSaturdays through Nov. 23. $12-$15.
Weekly Recurring Humor Night
Whitney Streed hosts a weekly comedy showcase, featuring local comics and out-of-towners. Tonic Lounge, 3100 NE Sandy Blvd., 2380543. 9:30 pm every Wednesday. “Pay what you want,” $3-$5 suggested.
DANCE The Golden Tease
The premiere of what will be a weekly show features a familiar but solid lineup of Portland burlesque talent. Among them: Russell Bruner, Angelique DeVil, Infamous Nina Nightshade and Zora Phoenix. The show is the brainchild of burlesque stalwart Miss Kennedy with comedian Richie Stratton. The mouthy Noah Mickens hosts. Shaker and Vine, 2929 SE Powell Blvd., 231-8466. 9:30 pm Thursday, July 25. $8. 21+.
Luciana Proano
Luciana Proaño hosts a workshop for the marinera, a popular Peruvian couple’s dance. Marinera expert Nestor Ruiz will lead a three-day workshop for the first 10 people who register. Studio 14, 333 NE Hancock St. 6-8 pm Friday and 10 am-noon Saturday-Sunday, July 26-28. $90.
Night Flight
Dom-Prov
The aerial arts team Night Flight dresses like mermaids to bring you under the sea. The Sea of Dreams show is an underwater circus featuring flying pirates, mermaids twisted in nets and girls dressed like dancing lobsters. All kitsch aside, the show should be entertaining. Alberta Rose Theatre, 3000 NE Alberta St., 719-6055. 8 pm Friday-Saturday, July 26-27. $27-$35.
Down and Dirty: A Dark Comedy Showcase
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If your idea of fun is playing improv games with a leather-clad dominatrix as an audience hurls marshmallows at you, this Unscriptables show is for you. Funhouse Lounge, 2432 SE 11th Ave., 309-3723. 10 pm every Saturday. $10.
Ash Street Saloon presents its monthly standup sampler of dark and risqué comedy, this time featuring sets from
VISUAL ARTS
JULY 24–30
= WW Pick. Highly recommended. By RICHARD SPEER. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, submit show information—including opening and closing dates, gallery address and phone number—at least two weeks in advance to: Visual Arts, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Email: rspeer@wweek.com.
18th Annual Recent Graduates Exhibition
Work by recent graduates from 15 of Oregon’s colleges and universities is displayed in this sprawling exhibition. Among the highlights is Linfield College graduate Lucas Cook’s Awareness: Equanimity, a split-screen video installation showing a nude man swimming. With its slo-mo imagery and bubbling, downtempo soundtrack, this deceptively simple piece has sensuality and sophistication to burn. Another piece that kicks serious ass is Reed College graduate Alisa Bones’ Subtractive Brushstrokes Over Color Field. The acrylic painting invigorates a time-worn trope by counterposing horizontal gestures in pink, salmon, chartreuse and aqua beneath a sexy, waxy finish. Through July 27. Blackfish Gallery, 420 NW 9th Ave., 234-2634.
Barbara Sternberger: Confluence
In lieu of a brush, Barbara Sternberger paints with snow cones loaded with oil paint, raw pigment and wax. Despite this gimmicky, newfangled technique, the paintings have a decidedly oldfashioned charm. In works such as Moving and Beginnings, she lets color, form and surface come to the fore, weaving narratives of pure opticality in the vein of Abstract Expressionist Joan Mitchell. Through July 27. Elizabeth Leach Gallery, 417 NW 9th Ave., 224-0521.
COGnition: Contemporary Wood-fired Sculpture by Richard Brandt, John George Larson, and Brad McLemore
The newish Eutectic Gallery showcases contemporary ceramic arts and crafts. Its latest show, COGnition, is all about cogs, wheels, gears, chains, and other imagery from the high industrial age. Richard Brandt’s sculptures exude a shimmering glow, while John George Larson’s have a geometric precision counterbalanced by an agreeably crude material thickness. Brad McLemore’s abstracted mechanical devices walk the line between depiction and evocation. Together, the artists perform a seemingly impossible task: using the eminently breakable medium of fired clay to portray objects made of impermeable metal alloys. Through July 28. Eutectic Gallery, 1930 NE Oregon St., 974-6518.
Carnaval
Bright, colorful, full of heat and passion—that sums up the artwork showcased in Mark Woolley’s summer group show, Carnaval. With its Portuguese spelling, the show’s title references the (in)famous Brazilian street party known for samba parades, outrageous costumes and decadent behavior. Participating artists share a common love of bold color palettes, in many cases inspired by Latin
American folk art. Among these artists are Gregory Grenon, Mary Josephson, Tom Cramer, Brigitte Dortmund and Kayla Newell. Carnaval partners with the gallery’s next-door neighbor, Peoples Art of Portland, whose own exhibition, Carnival (note the English spelling), takes its theme from the phenomenon of the American circus. Through Aug. 11. Mark Woolley Gallery @ Pioneer, 700 SW 5th Ave., third floor, Pioneer Place Mall, 998-4152.
Dan Pillers: Fuel for Thought
A play on words lies at the root of most of Dan Pillers’ sculptures, most of which are concerned with gay identity. About Time shows artist mannequins holding hands behind a sheet of Plexiglas imprinted with two skeletons. The piece is about gay marriage, triply referencing the phrase “It’s about time!”, the wedding vow “till death do us part,” and the reality that only a few years ago, many people thought they’d be dead before samesex marriage gained acceptance. Pillers creates these politically resonant works from a combination of wood, Plexi, fabric, bone and metal. They have the look of scientific display cases, reliquaries or Victorian birdcages. Through July 27. Cock Gallery, 625 NW Everett St., No. 106, 552-8686.
Flight
The Falcon Art Community, featured in a WW cover story by Aaron Mesh (“Rise of the Falcon,” March 20, 2013), partners with P:ear for the group exhibition Flight. The paintings, mixedmedia work and music in the show are the products of several months of workshops between Falcon artists and P:ear youth. Through July 26. P:ear, 338 NW 6th Ave., 228-6677.
Jessica Curtaz: Under the Sun’s Glare
Nothing says summertime like hydrangeas in bloom, so Jessica Curtaz’s show of works on paper is perfectly timed. The Philadelphia-based artist begins with thin graphite outlines of hydrangeas, then layers the images atop one another until they’re veritable heaps of petals and pistils. This visual glut is counterweighted by Curtaz’s subtle grayscale palette, for an overall impression at once maximalist and minimalist. Through July 27. Charles A. Hartman Fine Art, 134 NW 8th Ave., 287-3886.
Justin L’Amie: The Trunk of a Tree
Antique books by botanists and other naturalists influenced Justin L’Amie’s suite of new works, collectively titled The Trunk of a Tree. Their subject matter—birds, insects and plants—could indeed be found in and around the trunk of a single tree. The artist is at his strongest in small-scale works such as Delaney’s Moth, which depicts
the eponymous moth via carefully placed slivers of gouache atop a background of rough-edged handmade paper. In The Island, L’Amie zooms out to a wide shot of a fantastical landscape. There are similarities between this vision and that of another PDX Contemporary artist, Adam Sorensen, but whereas Sorensen’s landscapes are barren, L’Amie’s teem with animal life. Although there is an undeniable whimsy in these works, they manage, barely, to avoid preciousness. Through July 27. PDX Contemporary Art, 925 NW Flanders St., 222-0063.
REVIEW
Karen Esler: Hurricane
Central Florida native Karen Esler, now a Portlander, revisits the Sunshine State in a suite of decidedly unsunshiny oil paintings entitled Hurricane. Unerringly, unnervingly, the artist captures the storms’ pounding wind and rain. Dark skies and gale-whipped palm trees lend the series a sense of violence and foreboding. Through July 27. Augen DeSoto, 716 NW Davis St., 224-8182.
Shawn Records: Flaming Energy Ball
The sun peeks through trees, evoking the melancholy of late summer; a boy throws a basketball toward a hoop, evoking the melancholy of childhood’s fleeting; an old trophy sits on a windowsill, evoking the melancholy of—you get the idea. Shawn Records’ elegiac and, yes, melancholy series, Flaming Energy Ball, is loosely based on his two sons’ love affair with basketball. The honeyed light and evocation of passing seasons is pretty enough to look at but feels heavy-handed and trite. An image of fallen flower petals amid the long shadows of late afternoon; a basketball hoop’s shadow reflected in a window in waning, lateday light—I mean, Jesus, is Records putting together a résumé reel for a Kevin Costner film? Enough with the hokum already! Through July 28. Blue Sky Gallery, 122 NW 8th Ave., 225-0210.
Wilder Schmaltz: Night Lands
In Wilder Schmaltz’s drawing Catalan, a sunken-eyed old man confronts the viewer as he stands before an eerie background of arched windows and lapping waves. It’s the strongest image in Schmaltz’s exhibition, Night Lands. In this and other single-figure portraits, Schmaltz’s sense of compositional drama blazes forth, although it tends to dilute when he includes more figures. The works’ high-gloss finish also distracts from their overall appeal. Schmaltz’s luxuriant, chalkylooking marks—made with colored pencils, markers and wax pastels— would benefit from a more direct sight line; there is nothing here to hide and everything to show off. Through July 28. Gallery 6 PDX, 131 NE 6th Ave., 2067280.
For more Visual Arts listings, visit
PAPERWORK: Ellen George and Jerry Mayer’s Off Black.
OFF BLACK When you think of crumpled paper, you tend to think of creative screw-ups: the proverbial novelist, frustrated at not conjuring the right words, wadding up a sheet of paper and chucking it in the garbage. But for artists Ellen George and Jerry Mayer, crumpled paper is a wellspring of inspiration and invention. Since 2008, the two have collaborated on installations at Nine Gallery, using paper to create minimalist artworks with maximal impact. Their current project, Off Black, is their most astonishing and disturbing to date. It’s an enormous sheet of black paper crumpled and twisted into an irregular shape, 7 feet high and 11 feet across. Hanging from the ceiling by an aluminum rod attached to a small motor, the dark mass slowly rotates, like an oversized disco ball. But there’s nothing disco about Off Black. Resolutely unglamorous and grim, it projects an unsettling sense of dread despite its airborne pirouettes. On First Thursday I plopped down in the corner of the room and sat with the thing for a good 10 minutes. During that time, almost no one else came in, an unusual phenomenon on a busy opening night. It was as if people were scared of it. And with good reason: It’s spooky. It’s like a humongous tumor, a gangrenous foot, a necrotic intestine, full of gnarly protuberances and crannies. It’s your liver after a night of heavy boozing: enlarged, aching, guilt-inducing. There’s also something perverse about Mayer and George’s use of the motor. Without it, the piece would simply hang in place, a fanciful mobile. With it, the slow, relentless spinning exposes the sculpture’s every contour to the viewer’s clinical inspection, robbing it of its mystery, its privacy, its dignity, as that motor cranks away, mindlessly, unstoppably, like an electric fucking machine or some updated medieval torture device. And yet the work also projects an undeniable beauty. Its inward folds evoke sumptuous fabric or rose petals, and the element of rotation, for all its fearsomeness, mesmerizes. The artists have created an inscrutable but highly allusive object that simultaneously invites and repels. You should see it, sit with it a while and see where it takes you. RICHARD SPEER. A big, spooky tumor.
SEE IT: Off Black is at Nine Gallery, 122 NW 8th Ave., 225-0210. Through July 28.
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BOOKS
JOBS
JULY 24–30
= WW Pick. Highly recommended. By PENELOPE BASS. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, submit lecture or reading information at least two weeks in advance to: WORDS, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Email: words@wweek.com. Fax: 243-1115.
SATURDAY, JULY 27 Pint Club
Serving as a fundraiser for the Portland-based not-for-profit publisher Tavern Books, Pint Club is a poetry party featuring a different reader each hour. Readers include Zubair Ahmed, Michael McGriff, Emily Kendel Frey and Robert Hunter Jones. There will be live music by Laura Gibson, plus beer and tacos. Nobody parties like a poet; just get out of there before they start quoting Poe. Disjecta, 8371 N Interstate Ave., 286-9449. 5 pm. Free.
IS HIRINg! page 69
NW Book Festival 2013
WEDNESDAY, JULY 24 Where the Roses Smell the Best
In case you missed the initial release of Roosevelt High School’s student-published Portland anthology, Where the Roses Smell the Best, you can catch another reading of contributing students and local authors. Sharing their short stories, vignettes and poems about the people and places of the Rose City will be Leah Gibson, Christi Krug, Emma Oliver, Sarah Soards, Betsy Fogelman Tighe and Laura Winter. Broadway Books, 1714 NE Broadway, 284-1726. 7 pm. Free.
Christopher Van Tilburg
Although an extreme activity in Portland could include attempting to eat from all 400-plus food carts or drink at every craft brewery, Christopher Van Tilburg has compiled a less gluttonous list with his new book, The Adrenaline Junkie’s Bucket List. Van Tilburg, a veteran outdoor-adventure expert and wilderness physician, includes extreme adventures from every continent for those looking to create their own list or just get a rush from the comfort of a coffee shop. Powell’s City of Books, 1005 W Burnside St., 228-4651. 7:30 pm. Free.
THURSDAY, JULY 25 Janice Gould
Kooyoonk’auwi (Concow) poet Janice Gould begins her latest collection of work, Doubters and Dreamers, with a question from a young girl to her mother. The girl is Gould and the question is a complicated one about her indigenous heritage. Gould will read from her work that traverses perilous emotional terrain to reach self-revelations about her ancestry. Broadway Books, 1714 NE Broadway, 2841726. 7 pm. Free.
Max Gladstone
Gladstone crafted a meticulously detailed universe where protagonist Tara, a first-year associate at an international necromantic firm, must bring a god back to life before the city collapses. Gladstone’s new book, Three Parts Dead, is imaginative, to say the least. Ah, the intricacies of necromancy. Powell’s on Hawthorne, 3723 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 2284651. 7:30 pm. Free.
More than 100 authors from across Oregon, Washington and California will gather for the fifth annual NW Book Festival. Covering everything from historical fiction and humor to self-help and science fiction, the authors will present their work and answer questions. There are 20 speakers scheduled throughout the day, including George Byron Wright (Newport Blues), Brenda Duffey (The Peacemaker) and Laurence Overmire (The One Idea That Saves the World). Pioneer Courthouse Square, 701 SW 6th Ave. 11 am-5 pm. Free.
TUESDAY, JULY 30 An Evening of Speculative Fiction
Genre fiction takes its share of knocks from the literary fiction crowd (as it ponders how to make nothing happen in a dramatic way). But it takes a truly creative mind to craft an original, compelling piece of science fiction, horror, fantasy or other. To celebrate the speculative local science-fiction/horror vet Edward R. Morris is a lineup of upand-coming authors of the bizarro, sci-fi, new weird and unnamable genres. Featured readers include Cameron Pierce, Ann S. Koi, Jess Gulbranson and special guest Davis Slater. Jade Lounge, 2346 SE Ankeny St., 236-4998. 8-10 pm. Free. 21+.
Oregon Encyclopedia History Night
Exploring the influence of early Basque settlers in southeastern Oregon, historian Kevin Hatfield will tell the story of Joe Odiaga and his resistance to federal expulsion from traditional Basque grazing lands. Learn everything you ever wanted to know about the Basque in Oregon at OE’s history night “We Were Not Tramp Sheepmen: Joe Odiaga and the Oregon-Idaho Biskaian Basque Community.” McMenamins Edgefield, 2126 SW Halsey St., Troutdale, 669-8610. 6:30 pm. Free.
Reza Aslan
No doubt Jesus was a complex fellow. Reza Aslan attempts to shed new light on one of history’s most famous figures by comparing the Jesus of the gospels against historical accounts set in the context of the tumultuous time period in which he lived. Was he simply a peaceful teacher, or a political revolutionary? Aslan will read from and discuss his new biography, Zealot: The Life and Times of Jesus of Nazareth. Powell’s City of Books, 1005 W Burnside St., 228-4651. 7 pm. Free.
For more Books listings, visit
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Willamette Week JULY 24, 2013 wweek.com
JULY 24-30 FEATURE
= WW Pick. Highly recommended.
FIGHTING SCHOOLS OF THE EAST
All the Labor: The Story of the Gourds
B [ONE NIGHT ONLY] Like many of their roots-rock peers, the Gourds have maintained a steady course through the choppy waters of the music world for two decades, building an adoring fan base and cult status through their mandolin-led rendition of Snoop Dogg’s “Gin&Juice.” On paper, it’s not the most compelling subject matter for a feature-length documentary, but director Doug Hawes-Davies manages to turn this quintet into a dynamic symbol of hard work and friendship. He imbues the collage of live performances and interviews with the same ramshackle, loving spirit as the group’s amalgam of blues, country and folk. What Hawes-Davies doesn’t provide is a true history of the band, aside from a few stray discussions of what drew these five to Austin, Texas. And for the linear thinkers among you, there’s no real through line or road signs to help spell out the fragmented pieces of the Gourds’ career. But again, that seems anathema to what the group has been aiming for all these years. Or as bassist Jimmy Smith puts it: “There’s just no rules. Unless you choose to follow them, then you’re in Nashville.”. ROBERT HAM. Hollywood Theatre. 7 pm Wednesday, July 24.
Apartment 1303
D- [FOUR NIGHTS ONLY] There are
a lot of scary things about the supernatural thriller Apartment 1303, and none of those things are the ghosts who look like they were picked up outside the set of a Biography Channel “true life” ghost story. It’s frightening to see a once-promising actress like Rebecca De Mornay going completely over the top as a combination of Stevie Nicks and Joan Crawford, flailing about in a drunken series of spasms. It’s scary that somebody got paid to write a remake of a Japanese flick completely drained of logic, in which not one but two sisters (Mischa Barton and Julianne Michelle) inhabit an apartment with a history of mysterious suicides and horror-stock neighbors like the creepy little girl and the skeezy landlord. And it’s completely unnerving that somebody would invest $5 million in a 3-D indie horror flick that looks and feels like a particularly bad Lifetime film, complete with an overbearing mother, sisterly strife and Barton’s breasts blurred out by pixels (yes, this is a thing). Director Michael Taverna takes the entire affair completely seriously. That would be fine if there were some legitimate scares. Instead, it’s a disaster, and an utterly dull one. It’ll be shocking if anyone stays awake for the whole mess. AP KRYZA. Clinton Street Theater. 9 pm Thursday-Sunday, July 25-28.
Back Row Picture Show
[ONE NIGHT ONLY, REVIVAL] Jessica Lea DeNardo and Jay Mackin do a live roast of Andy Sidaris’ 1989 Savage Beach, starring two former Playboy
Closely Watched Trains
[TWO NIGHTS ONLY, REVIVAL] Jiří Menzel’s debut feature—which won the Czech director the Best Foreign Language Film Oscar in 1968—is a coming-of-age tale about a railroad apprentice in Nazi-occupied Czechoslovakia. NW Film Center’s Whitsell Auditorium. 8:45 pm Friday and 7 pm Saturday, July 27-28.
The Conjuring
B- Few people, I’m guessing, have been to Harrisville, R.I., site of the alleged true-life incident that inspired The Conjuring. But everyone will find it familiar: an isolated nowhere town where movie families go to get tormented by malevolent spirits. What else could the Perrons have expected when they bought that rotting lakeside farmhouse at an auction in 1971? Haven’t they seen, oh, every horror flick ever made? Director James Wan sure has. Though The Conjuring wears its “based on a true story” tag proudly, the universe it inhabits is purely, unabashedly cinematic. It feels like a waste of word count to recite the entire plot when a disorganized list of its elements will do: a boardedup cellar. Mysterious bruises. A clairvoyant dog. Kamikaze birds. A creepy old jack-in-the-box. Haunted linens. At points, Wan goes into straight homage. By the climax, The Conjuring has evolved into a full-tilt tribute to The Exorcist, and through the performances of its three leads achieves visceral, armrest-clutching fright nirvana. But then it just sort of ends, and you walk out thinking not about Catholic guilt or the power of Christ but about how you should probably go to the beach soon. R. MATTHEW SINGER. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Mill Plain, Cornelius, Lloyd Center, Oak Grove, Sandy.
Kill Bill, Vol. 2 (2004)
Crystal Fairy
Daisies CONT. on page 64
Location: In the film, Bhutan. In reality, Svínafellsjökull Glacier in Iceland. Master: Ra’s al Ghul, the Demon’s Head, halfimmortal criminal bureaucrat. Student: Troubled playboy Bruce Wayne (played by troubled actor Christian Bale). Most ridiculous tasks: Find a rare blue flower from the eastern slopes and carry it to the top of a mountain. Then fight! Ultimate purpose: To conquer fear itself. Wisdom received: Training is nothing! The will is everything! The will to act!
The Karate Kid (2010, Jaden Smith edition)
Location: Big ol’ Chinese mountain. Master: Pai Mei, big ol’ Chinese asshole, angry beard flipper, master of the schoolyard taunt and genital-free cheap-shot artist. Student: Beatrix Kiddo (Uma Thurman), future assassin and vengeful Bride. Most ridiculous tasks: Punching a board for, like, a year. Enduring unending insults. Watching an old man eat. Ultimate purpose: To kill people for money. That is, until Kiddo gets preggo. Wisdom received: “Like all Yankee women, all you can do is order in restaurants and spend a man’s money.”
Bloodsport (1988)
C+ Michael Cera pretty much plays
Michael Cera, again, in this trying road-/drug-trip movie. Cera plays Jamie, an entitled American on holiday in Chile, where he drinks, snorts and smokes substances while talking about phenomenology, the Doors of Perception and, most importantly, the hallucinogenic San Pedro cactus. Jamie and Chilean bud Champa (Juan Andres Silva) set out to find the plant and get their mescaline experience, accompanied by two of Champa’s friends and an exhausting but nice enough hippie named Crystal Fairy (a fearless Gabby Hoffman) whom a wasted Jamie asked along for the ride. Immediately regretting his intoxicated invite, Jamie is a total dick to “Crystal Hairy” while his gracious friends try to make the best of their journey. Inspired by his own psychedelic adventure, writer-director Sebastian Silva is going for a profound, collective-consciousness payoff here, but Cera’s character is so unlikable—in an intolerable, ineffective way—that one of the most enjoyable moments is his initial bad reaction to the mescaline. That said, Crystal Fairy is beautifully shot—gritty and gorgeous—and Hoffman turns a one-note role into a three-dimensional, natural character who endears more than originally expected. Ditto for Jamie’s three male traveling companions, portrayed, quite affectingly, by Silva’s own brothers. AMANDA SCHURR. Living Room Theaters.
mkorfhage@wweek.com
It never fails: When a hero wants to disappear, he goes west to the frontier. But when he loses his way, he goes east. East is where the swords are. And the Zen. And the magical gurus who do weird things to you for your own good. The new Wolverine movie didn’t screen by WW press deadlines, but apparently—like every other violent Westerner—Wolverine totally goes to Asia to find himself and then kick some ass. In preparation for this momentarily completely unreviewable movie (look for a review at wweek. com later this week), we decided to bone up on the great cinematic fighting schools of the East.
Back to the Future
[ONE WEEK ONLY, REVIVAL] “Last night, Darth Vader came down from Planet Vulcan and told me that if I didn’t take Lorraine out, that he’d melt my brain.” PG. Academy Theater.
Batman Begins (2005) LEGENDARY PICTURES
BY MATTHEW KOR FHAGE
A B A N D A PA R T F I L M S
try is worse. If there were a rubric to figure out what makes one performer a household name and the other just another name in the liner notes, the history of pop would read much differently. Turning the spotlight on several career backup singers, Morgan Neville’s 20 Feet From Stardom shows, with great warmth and color, what it might sound like. These are voices and personalities every bit as big as Tina’s and Aretha’s but that never made what Bruce Springsteen calls “the long walk” from the back of the stage to the front. Most are resigned to their roles in the musical ecosystem, content to have sacrificed their own aspirations for the sake of elevating the art itself. Whether that’s noble or a con, Neville never judges. He just lets them sing. And, in a more perfect universe, that would be enough. MATTHEW SINGER. Living Room Theaters.
GO EAST, YOUNG MAN, AND KICK SOME ASS.
centerfold models as drug enforcement agents who somehow end up in the Philippines looking for gold. R. East Bank Saloon, 727 SE Grand Ave. 7:30 pm Friday, July 26.
CANNON FILMS
20 Feet From Stardom
A- Life is unfair, and the music indus-
COLUMBIA PICTURES
Editor: REBECCA JACOBSON. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, send screening information at least two weeks in advance to Screen, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Email: rjacobson@wweek.com. Fax: 243-1115.
Location: Beijing. Master: Jackie Chan, handyman. Student: Will Smith’s son, what’s-his-name. Most ridiculous tasks: Hang up the coat. Put it on. Take it off. Hang up the coat. Put it on. Take it off. Now you know kung fu. Ultimate purpose: To beat up some 12-yearold kids. Because they totally deserve it. Wisdom received: Adults playing children are apparently way less annoying than actual children.
Blind Fury (1989) SONY PICTURES
MOVIES
Location: Japanese countryside. Master: Stoic, reclusive Senzo Tanaka, master of (a) the mighty mustache, (b) the unforgiving scowl and (c) the hill-country ninjutsu. Student: Jean-Claude Van Damme as Frank Dux, mushmouth and future fighting champion. Most ridiculous tasks: Serving tea blindfolded while fending off karate chops. Getting stretched out by ropes to show off awesome flexibility. Ultimate purpose: To prove he is worthy of Japanese wisdom, despite being a ridiculous Belgian man with frosted hair. Wisdom received: It is always a good time to do the splits. Sweatpants hotel time, rooftop yoga time, getting hit with bamboo time, nut-punching time, any time!
Location: Vietnamese countryside. Master: It takes a village to make fun of a blind man while throwing fruit at him. Student: Nick Parker (Rutger Hauer), a blinded Vietnam vet who wanders like Caine in Kung Fu. Most ridiculous tasks: Apparently the sum total of Hauer’s Vietnamese ninja training consists of blindly slicing fruit in midair while villagers throw fruit at his face. He would have been better off learning sonar from friendly dolphins. Ultimate purpose: To become a blind samurai, return to America and protect a war buddy’s son from the Mafia. Wisdom received: Look out for that fruit!
SEE IT: The Wolverine is rated PG-13. It opens Friday at Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Mill Plain, Lloyd Center, Cinema 99, Bridgeport, Division, Pioneer Place, Tigard, Roseway, St. Johns Twin, Oak Grove, City Center, Sandy. Willamette Week JULY 24, 2013 wweek.com
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JULY 24-30
[TWO NIGHTS ONLY, REVIVAL] One of the landmark works of Czech New Wave cinema, Vera Chytilová’s 1966 film is an anarchic, feminist romp about two teenage girls who stage a series of off-kilter pranks. NW Film Center’s Whitsell Auditorium. 7 pm Friday and 8:45 pm Saturday, July 27-28.
Deja Vertigo: The ’80s Brian De Palma Series
[ONGOING SERIES, REVIVAL] The Hollywood Theatre closes its tribute to Brian De Palma with the director’s update of the gangster epic Scarface in 35 mm. On Saturday and Sunday, the theater will also screen a 35 mm print of Howard Hawks’ 1932 original. Hollywood Theatre. FridaySunday, July 26-28.
Despicable Me 2
C Gru, the lead character of Despicable Me 2, is the sort of megalomaniacal evildoer bound to risk everything on grandiose schemes destined to fail spectacularly. Steve Carell, fittingly, blesses him with richly textured, endlessly inventive vocal embellishments. This sequel to 2010’s blockbuster adds Kristen Wiig as high-spirited love interest and expands the animated repertoire to encompass 3-D thrills, but the story itself, which shoehorns Gru into the service of a global super-spy league, arrives packed with exposition and shorn of coherency. Gags either pander to the target audience’s fartjoke triggers or inanely reference past cartoons. PG. JAY HORTON. 99 West Drive-In, Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Mill Plain, Cornelius, Lloyd Center, Oak Grove, Sandy.
Pretty meta, but ultimately pretty mediocre. EMILY JENSEN. NW Film Center’s Whitsell Auditorium. 7 pm Sunday, July 28.
Frances Ha
A- People have been trying to
figure out twentysomethings at least since Dustin Hoffman unzipped Anne Bancroft’s dress. In 2010, The New York Times Magazine ran a late-to-the-game article about a “new” life stage called “emerging adulthood” (a phrase coined by a psychology researcher a decade before) when self-indulgence and self-discovery collide. The exuberant and disarming Frances Ha is a portrait of one such emerging adult, shot in resplendent black-and-white and scored like a French New Wave film. As played with haphazard elegance by Greta Gerwig, Frances is a 27-year-old aspiring dancer in
New York City still lurching through the obstacle course of a privileged post-collegiate life. At one point, David Bowie’s “Modern Love” plays as Frances spins through the streets. Backpack bouncing, floralprint dress cutting a contrast with the crosswalk striping, she’s every bit the emerging adult: aimless yet hopeful, self-absorbed yet in wideeyed awe at the big, beautiful world. R. REBECCA JACOBSON. Academy, Bagdad, Laurelhurst.
Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter
[ONE NIGHT ONLY, REVIVAL] More terrifying summer-camp activities at the Hollywood, this time with Jason at Camp Crystal Lake. R. Hollywood Theatre. 9:30 pm Thursday, July 25.
REVIEW EL DESEO S.A.
MOVIES
The Diving Bell and the Butterfly
[THREE DAYS ONLY, REVIVAL] The visually arresting 2007 biopic about Jean-Dominic Bauby, who was the editor of French Elle and a rich playboy until a stroke left him paralyzed, able to move only his eyes to communicate. PG-13. Fifth Avenue Cinema. 7 and 9:30 pm FridaySaturday, 3 pm Sunday, July 26-28.
Enter the Dragon
[ONE WEEK ONLY, REVIVAL] Bruce Lee’s last, and one of his best— and what you should probably see instead of The Wolverine. Laurelhurst Theater.
Epic
B Epic is a sprawling, otherworldly
adventure that combines the best elements of The Wizard of Oz and Lord of the Rings into a surprisingly poignant fairy tale. PG. AP KRYZA. Academy, Indoor Twin, Kennedy School, Laurelhurst Theater, Mt. Hood, Valley.
The Fantastic World of Juan Orol
C+ [ONE NIGHT ONLY] Juan Orol
was good at being bad. In Mexico, he was known as “the King of B’s,” a master at making cheesy, melodramatic gangster films featuring voluptuous, warble-voiced women undulating in sequined bra tops. Sebastian del Amo, who directs this biopic on the so-called Mexican Ed Wood, intentionally echoes Orol’s schlocky, clumsy sensibilities with enough self-awareness to make for an initially satisfying comedy. The flick is all in Spanish, mostly in black-and-white, and features a raven-haired Steve Buscemi lookalike (Roberto Sosa) as Orol. He slogs through careers as a baseball player, bullfighter and hit man for the Mexican secret service, sucking terrifically at all of them. But when he picks up a video camera to document a hit for the secret service, it dawns on him that his knack for general ineptitude could work in his favor as a maker of fantastically shitty films. And so it begins: At first, Orol’s career is lucrative, but as his own ironic success deteriorates, so does the film itself. Both seem to lose steam about halfway through, and what starts out as a purposefully bad movie about a bad moviemaker turns into an accidentally bad movie about a bad moviemaker.
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PREPARE FOR TURBULENCE: Dancing their way through disaster.
I’M SO EXCITED!
I recently flew aboard a plane with a singing flight attendant. Her voice trembled as she thanked us for flying with Southwest and wished us a wonderful day. Half the passengers looked charmed. Others dug for their airsick bags. Pedro Almodóvar’s airborne romp I’m So Excited! will prompt equally divisive reactions. Leaving behind the dark psychology of his recent work, Almodóvar here offers up a fizzy, campy, hallucinogen-spiked cocktail of a film, the collision of a sex farce, a disaster movie and a morality tale. For those willing to gate-check their snobbery, it’s a winking delight and a welcome throwback to Almodóvar’s early comedic capers—and, at 90 minutes, shorter than a flight from Portland to San Francisco. I’m So Excited! is set almost entirely inside the candy-colored cabin of a jetliner bound from Madrid to Mexico. But due to some trouble with the landing gear, the plane must circle in the air as its passengers prepare for disaster in gleefully discrepant ways—while one flight attendant turns to tequila, another unfolds his portable altar and prays for everyone’s souls. The hoi polloi back in coach have been drugged with muscle relaxants, leaving the first-class elite free to imbibe, yammer, fuck and then imbibe some more. It’s a colorful group, including a virginal psychic (an appealingly wideeyed Lola Dueñas), who contacts the beyond through the pilots’ crotches; a dominatrix to the rich and famous (Cecilia Roth), who’s convinced everything is a plot against her; and a sleazeball actor (Guillermo Toledo), who spends much of the flight on the phone with lovers he’s spurned. Managing the hedonistic madness is the ultra-flamboyant trio of flight attendants, who spike the punch with mescaline and fondle the airplane seats while lip-synching the Pointer Sisters song that gives the film its English title. With its drugged beverages, telephones falling from the sky and sex-obsessed characters, I’m So Excited! recalls the frisky absurdity of 1988’s Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown. But while that movie—made in a Spain just beginning to emerge from beneath Franco’s repression—felt transgressive, this newest bauble lacks that sense of fire. The circling plane is something of a ham-fisted allegory for Spain’s current financial predicament, but Almodóvar lets that metaphor spiral as aimlessly as the aircraft. Even so: Disaster may loom, but why not party while you can? REBECCA JACOBSON. A campy flight of fancy braces for impact.
B+
SEE IT: I’m So Excited is rated R. It opens Friday at Cinema 21.
JULY 24-30
Iron Man 3
A- Iron Man 3 embraces a mold before
completely breaking it with out-ofleft-field twists and turns that keep the viewer engaged and chuckling with alarming frequency. PG-13. AP KRYZA. Academy, Bagdad, Edgefield, Kennedy School, Laurelhurst, St. Johns Theater, Valley.
Jour de Fete
FRUITVALE STATION NEW
Fruitvale Station
B+ At 2:15 am on New Year’s Day
2009, Oscar Grant III, a 22-year-old African-American man from Hayward, Calif., was pulled off a BART train by transit police, handcuffed and forced to the ground, then shot in the back. He died in a hospital hours later. That’s the reality of Fruitvale Station, a dramatization of Grant’s last day alive, and freshman writer-director Ryan Coogler doesn’t want his film detached from it: He replays the grainy cellphone footage of the actual murder right up front. It’s a powerful framing device, lending the weight of the inevitable to a movie that moves through its scenes with restrained poignancy, but there’s a tradeoff: In flirting with the language of documentary, Coogler submits his creative license for extra scrutiny. Some critics have accused Fruitvale of “sanctifying” Grant, picking at the details of his final hours. Did he actually comfort a stray pit bull after it was struck by a car? How often did he text his mother, really? Those questions, though, are smoke screens that detract from the conversation the film should be spurring, especially in light of recent events (and that’s not to mention its cinematic value). As in his previous roles on The Wire and Friday Night Lights, Michael B. Jordan plays Grant as a man quietly fighting against himself. True to life or not, he never feels less than real. But the ultimate question isn’t about the film’s accuracy. It’s about whether an unarmed black man, saint or sinner or otherwise, deserved to die facedown on a subway platform. Coogler starts the discussion with understated eloquence, but 87 minutes isn’t nearly enough to finish it. R. MATTHEW SINGER. Cedar Hills, Clackamas, Bridgeport, City Center, Lloyd Mall, Movies on TV, Fox Tower.
The Great Gatsby
C While Baz Luhrmann’s Gatsby is often effective in roping the viewer in, it has all the subtlety of a young drunk who’s just been left by his girlfriend. PG-13. MATTHEW KORFHAGE. Academy, Bagdad, Edgefield, Kennedy School, Laurelhurst, Mt. Hood, Valley.
Grown Ups 2
Adam Sandler and Chris Rock return with more juvenile clowning. Not screened for Portland critics. PG13. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Cornelius, Oak Grove, Sandy.
Hava Nagila: The Movie
B- [THREE NIGHTS ONLY] Like most
people with some Jewish blood, I have an ambivalent relationship with the ubiquitous Hebrew folk song “Hava Nagila” (when I was about 6, I kicked my shoe across the dance floor at a wedding and had to shamefacedly dart across the circle to retrieve it). I’m also ambivalent about Roberta Grossman’s documentary, which traces the tune from its debated roots to its maligned present, along the way introducing us to some frankly ridiculous iterations: a death-metal take, a rendition by some Real Housewives bimbos, a burlesque version in Thailand. Those interpretations are good for a laugh, but the same can’t be said of the strained voice-over narration, which strives for folksy jollity but just comes off cheesy. REBECCA JACOBSON. Clinton Street Theater. 7 pm Friday-Sunday, July
26-28.
The Heat
C Despite the combined talents of Bridesmaids director Paul Feig, Parks and Recreation writer Katie Dippold and go-for-broke star Melissa McCarthy, the The Heat’s few jokes that hit their mark are severely overshadowed by the film’s lousy rap sheet. After rushing to team up Ashburn (Sandra Bullock), a buttoned-down FBI control freak, with Mullins (McCarthy), a borderline-feral Boston police detective, the actioncomedy sets them off in lukewarm pursuit of a shadowy drug lord. With the film barely feigning interest in its own slapdash plot, it quickly devolves into a succession of scenes intended to reinforce that Ashburn is extremely strait-laced while Mullins is incredibly slovenly. R. CURTIS WOLOSCHUK. Cedar Hills, Clackamas, Mill Plain, Forest.
A Hijacking
B Based on a true story of con-
temporary high-seas piracy, Tobias Lindholm’s slow-burning thriller makes a bid for verisimilitude that extends well beyond the use of natural light and handheld cameras. When Somali pirates overrun a cargo ship, the cook Mikkel (Pilou Asbæk) struggles to keep it together as the sense of an awful and imminent end cedes to the dreadful suspicion that he’s actually been condemned to an inescapable limbo. And how else is he to feel as ransom negotiations between his captors and Peter (Søren Malling), the shipping company’s president, grow ridiculously protracted? By staging his study of brinksmanship on two fronts, Lindholm illustrates how a brutal ordeal for those in the line of fire might amount to just a bad day at the office for the suits calling the shots. R. CURTIS WOLOSCHUK. Living Room Theaters.
The Hunt
B- In 1998, Danish filmmaker Thomas
Vinterberg made The Celebration, which burrowed into issues of incest, suicide and pedophilia. It’s a raw and utterly shattering film. Vinterberg’s newest movie, The Hunt, raises equally dark questions, but it adopts an opposite perspective: This time, we follow the soft-spoken and sensitive Lucas (Mads Mikkelsen), a kindergarten teacher falsely accused of sexual abuse. Five-year-old Klara (the remarkable Annika Wedderkopp) has developed a schoolgirl’s crush on Lucas, but when he tries to gently redirect her affection, she feels rejected and intimates to the headmaster that he’s exposed himself to her. The willingness of the adults to believe Klara’s offhand lie—even after she attempts to correct her story, mouth and nose twitching all the while—is exasperating. Almost as maddening is Lucas’ reluctance to defend himself, for reasons unspoken. Cast against type here, Mikkelsen is the epitome of quiet anguish. But the others, firmly convinced of his guilt, become an amorphous mob of vitriol and venom, attacking him in the grocery store and lobbing rocks through his kitchen window. Their lack of doubt, while perhaps reflective of both our protective instincts and our misguided belief in the fundamental honesty of children, causes
[ONE NIGHT ONLY, REVIVAL] NW Film Center’s lovely Top Down: Rooftop Cinema series—which converts the roof of the Hotel deLuxe parking structure into an al fresco movie theater—kicks off with Jacques Tati’s 1949 comedy, a largely plotless frolic about a happy and somewhat hapless mailman. Folksy band Lincoln’s Beard will perform beforehand. Hotel deLuxe, 729 SW 15th Ave. Music begins at 8 pm, movie at dusk, Thursday, July 25.
line of pretty much all college-underdog movies. But Monsters University somehow captures the giddy ups and miserable downs of entering your first year of college. G. KAITIE TODD. Eastport, Clackamas, Indoor Twin.
Much Ado About Nothing
A Much Ado About Nothing is all
about trickery. The comedy centers on two strong-minded singles, each determined never to love and never to marry. Until, of course, their friends decide to play matchmaker. Like those sly friends holding the strings, Joss Whedon is a masterful puppeteer himself. After wrapping The Avengers, the director retreated to his airy Santa Monica home, corralled some friends and, over the course of 12 days, secretly filmed his adaptation of Much Ado. It’s shot in black-and-white, often with a handheld camera, but it’s set in the present day. Yet the text is
still Shakespeare’s, even if the actors’ cadence and mannerisms feel modern. It’s a dizzying, and initially jarring, mix of styles. But don’t doubt puppeteer Whedon: Just like the film’s characters, he knows when to loosen hold of the strings and let his capable players take over. PG-13. REBECCA JACOBSON. Living Room Theaters.
Mud
B Jeff Nichols’ Mud seems like a cut-
and-dry tale of a mythical bum, but it’s instead a rich story of adolescent confusion. PG-13. AP KRYZA. Academy, Laurelhurst, Valley.
Now You See Me
C In an early scene in the magicheist movie Now You See Me, Jesse Eisenberg’s character gives an audience a piece of advice. “The more you
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REVIEW CBS FILMS
RON KOEBERER
The Hunt to curdle into a too-simple parable about the terrible power of lies and gossip. R. REBECCA JACOBSON. Living Room Theaters.
MOVIES
Kon-Tiki
A- Based on the true story of
Norwegian ethnographer Thor Heyerdahl, who set off in 1947 to float 5,000 miles from Peru to Polynesia on a balsa-wood raft, this gorgeously shot adventure flick is not only awesome because of the epic voyage that could easily fail. It’s awesome because of Heyerdahl’s utter certainty that it will not. PG-13. EMILY JENSEN. Laurelhurst.
The Lone Ranger
C- Eighty years after the Lone Ranger first ambled into the American imagination, director Gore Verbinski’s megabudget blockbuster can’t seem to muster any freshness. Despite inspired action sequences, Verbinski somehow makes the film simultaneously chaotic and dull. Then there’s the matter of the violence, which is amped up to a discomforting level. Say what you will about antiquated values: The new Lone Ranger could benefit from being a little more old-fashioned—and its titular character could stand to be a lot less of a sniveling prick. AP KRYZA. Cedar Hills, Clackamas, Forest.
The Look of Love
C It’s a case of “fourth time unlucky”
for frequent collaborators Michael Winterbottom and Steve Coogan. Well, “uninspired” might be more accurate. Tailor-made for Coogan’s self-deprecating humor, their previous undertakings have been irreverent, inventive takes on the biopic (24 Hour Party People), literary adaptation (A Cock and Bull Story) and travelogue (The Trip). In their return to the “based on a true story” genre, the director’s eye for understated, alluring visuals and his leading man’s wry, rakish performance can only intermittently enliven Matt Greenhalgh’s stodgy screenplay. Coogan plays Paul Raymond, the impresario who amasses Britain’s largest fortune through his gentlemen’s clubs, skin mags and less scandalous ventures. That he achieves this by maintaining a steadily seedy course is extremely problematic from a narrative standpoint. Playing a man in debauched stasis for decades, Coogan has no interesting avenues down which to take his character. And, as the film’s told-in-flashback framing device alerts us at the outset how all this ends for Paul and his cherished daughter/lieutenant Debbie (Imogen Poots), the only surprise is how quickly the film’s more titillating elements—primarily the stunning Tamsin Egerton in various states of undress—begin to feel played out. CURTIS WOLOSCHUK. Hollywood Theatre.
Men in Suits
[ONE NIGHT ONLY] A new documentary about the actors inside cinema’s most iconic costumes. Hollywood Theatre. 7:30 pm Tuesday, July 30.
Monsters University
B Monsters University takes us back to college, when Sulley (John Goodman) was the cocky bro who didn’t bring a pencil to class and Mike (Billy Crystal) was the Hermione-esque know-it-all who studied rather than partied. It’s an old formula that follows the story
SLIP OF THE TONGUE: Aubrey Plaza gets sloppy with Scott Porter.
THE TO DO LIST It’s safe to say that an attractive teenage girl looking to expand her sexual repertoire hasn’t necessarily taken on the Labors of Hercules. So it would seem necessary for writer-director Maggie Carey to assemble a few pitfalls for protagonist Brandy Klark (Aubrey Plaza) on her route to carnal awakening. But aside from Brandy’s aggravating habit of correcting her partners’ grammar during foreplay, The To Do List is reluctant to get its hands dirty, resulting in an astonishingly limp sex comedy. An academic overachiever, recent high-school graduate Brandy is so naive when it comes to baser things that she turns to MerriamWebster to explain a “shocker,” rather than ask her experienced sister (Rachel Bilson) or best friends (Alia Shawkat and Sarah Steele). Refusing to be an embarrassment in bed as a college freshman, she devotes a sordid summer to crossing items off a comprehensive list of explicit acts, which—if all goes according to her carefully orchestrated plan— will culminate with losing her virginity to the older, Adonis-like Rusty (Scott Porter). Transforming the ribald into something strictly regimented, the checklist initially seems a novel conceit. But it soon proves a hindrance to the film, instilling an episodic structure that hampers Carey’s efforts to spin subplots about several supporting characters. Only during a series of tacked-on endings does it become clear that Brandy’s repressed father (Clark Gregg), smitten study-buddy (Johnny Simmons) and slacker boss (Bill Hader) were all supposed to have fully developed arcs of their own. There’s a “I didn’t even know we were going out” level of awkwardness about watching a filmmaker wrapping up story lines you didn’t realize existed. Far more obvious is Carey’s belief that her film’s 1993 setting (her own high-school graduation year) is inherently hilarious. The art direction verges on oppressive, with outdated bric-a-brac—a Hypercolor T-shirt, for example—constantly taking the place of actual jokes. This distinct sense of nostalgia just doesn’t suit a story of new experiences and self-discovery. While a sex comedy from a feminine perspective seems laudable, The To Do List ultimately proves a lazy, self-involved lover, too busy indulging its own fetishes and desires to tend to the viewers’ needs or offer them much gratification. CURTIS WOLOSCHUK.
More like The To Don’t List. Zing!
C SEE IT: The To Do List is rated R. It opens Friday at Eastport, Clackamas.
Willamette Week JULY 24, 2013 wweek.com
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MOVIES
JULY 24-30 PER ARNESEN
think you see,” he says, “the easier it will be to fool you.” That’s apparently a tip director Louis Leterrier tried to follow, pulling from his bag of tricks plenty of glitz, a throbbing techno soundtrack and a camera that swirls as if on a merry-goround. Unfortunately, being fooled by this flashy flick is no fun. PG-13. REBECCA JACOBSON. Living Room Theaters, Mt. Hood.
Only God Forgives
C+ Only God Forgives takes all of director Nicholas Winding Refn’s trademarks—the violence, the synth score, the stoicism, the colors, the Ryan Gosling—and boils them down to a potent bouillon cube of a film, and the result is at once a visceral, purely cinematic experience and a numbing exercise in existential filmmaking. Gosling plays Julian, an American expat in Thailand who runs a boxing club as a front for his Jersey-trash gangster mother (Kristin Scott Thomas). When Julian’s older brother is killed after committing a particularly heinous crime, Thomas demands not only that the murderer be slain, but also the police who allowed the retribution. Eyes Wide Shut cinematographer Larry Smith bathes the set in crimson, allowing the camera to slowly track down glowing hallways draped in gaudy floral wallpaper, posing each character with an almost obsessive attention to symmetry. Yet, despite its dreamlike nature and frequent jolts, Only God Forgives rings hollow. R. AP KRYZA. Hollywood Theatre, Living Room Theaters.
Pacific Rim
A- Guillermo Del Toro has honed a skill that few directors have mustered: He doesn’t make movies so much as build worlds. It’s as if the smartest kid on the planet invited you to play in the sandbox in his mind. But what does such meticulous terraforming do for a movie about gigantic robots punching the shit out of gigantic monsters while destroying whole cities? It makes it effing awesome, that’s what, and Pacific Rim is like getting punched in the face with a fist full of bombastic, childish, escapist bliss. Del Toro tosses his audience into a nottoo-distant future where the ocean floor has cracked open a portal to another dimension, which keeps sending out snarling, neon-blooded monsters. Humanity, in turn, has put aside its differences and formed a U.N. of ass-whompery in its army of Jaegers, 25-story-tall humanshaped machines operated by pilots who must link their minds to avoid zapping their brains while fighting. The beauty of Pacific Rim is that it’s a dumb movie with brilliance lurking in the corners of its robust world, for those who want to observe it. For those who don’t care, there’s a robot beating the shit out of a giant fish-gorilla monster by wielding an oil tanker like a bat: further evidence that Del Toro’s remains the greatest sandbox on the playground. PG13. AP KRYZA. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Mill Plain, Cornelius, Lloyd Center, Oak Grove, Sandy.
Red 2
B- Something of a surprise smash
two years back, Red initially appeared nothing more than a particularly cynical marketing strategy aimed at shoehorning a few surviving lions of the silver screen (Bruce Willis, Helen Mirren, John Malkovich) into a retired-spy revenge vehicle sufficiently explosive to raise eyebrows of the kids actually keeping theaters afloat. Miraculously, the film itself, utterly au courant hyperviolent snark intercut with the droll sentimentality of another era, managed taut pacing, wry observation and a towering likability. Charm alone fuels Red 2—a rangy, luxuriant bonhomie that incorporates Mirren’s bloodlust as readily as franchise newcomer Anthony Hopkins’ malevolent twinkle—but that doesn’t quite excuse the script’s senior moments or the fundamental sloppiness of Dean Parisot’s direction. Whereas Red’s interstitial flashes of comic-panel
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Willamette Week JULY 24, 2013 wweek.com
Photo caption tk art served to highlight the material’s four-color origins and remind audiences not to take it too seriously, Red 2 is just visually chaotic. Shorn of the breakneck pace and moments of genuine menace that strung tension throughout the original (however outlandish the plot or scene-chewing the Malkovich), this isn’t much of a film, and we doubt the franchise will age well. PG-13. JAY HORTON. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, CineMagic, Mill Plain, Cornelius, Lloyd Center, Oak Grove, Sandy, St. Johns Twin.
R.I.P.D.
C- If R.I.P.D. surpasses anyone’s
expectations, it’ll be only because they were so low to begin with. Screened after press deadlines— shorthand for a studio’s no-confidence vote—director Robert Schwentke’s movie has already been critically dismissed as one of the year’s worst. Dismal box office numbers have revealed its aspirations to the Hollywood Holy Grail of franchisability—inflated budget, comic-book origins and buddycop structure—as hubris. Jeff Bridges and Ryan Reynolds star as deceased policemen in the Rest in Peace Department, who’ve been recruited to bring to justice those on Earth who’ve managed to escape Judgment. The usual suspects— bland love story, supervillain foil, hit-or-miss comedic banter, prickliness between the partners morphing into mutual respect—are rounded up. One might catch glimpses of redemption: Reynolds walks through a freeze-framed world of destruction upon his death before spiraling upwards into the sky, which almost justifies the otherwise superfluous 3-D conversion; Bridges gleefully contorts his character from True Grit; Mary-Louise Parker’s bureau chief carries an air of dark madness about her. So move along, nothing to see here. PG-13. KRISTI MITSUDA. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Mill Plain, Cornelius, Lloyd Center, Oak Grove, Sandy.
Spark: A Burning Man Story
[ONE NIGHT ONLY, DIRECTOR ATTENDING] A new documentary from Steve Brown about the people who trek to an inhospitable desert in Nevada, wear bikinis and ski goggles and furry pink boots (or, alternatively, nothing at all) and then build a city only to set it afire a week later. Bagdad Theater. 7:30 pm Wednesday, July 24..
Stories We Tell
A We all know that every family has its own secrets. Stories We Tell is Sarah Polley’s layered, thoughtful exploration of this idea, in which she turns the lens on her own family. As more than one secret unfolds, Stories We Tell wisely allows the family’s humorous and emotional moments to peek through. PG-13. KAITIE TODD. Laurelhurst.
Turbo
C- It seems “slow and steady wins the race” doesn’t carry much weight in an era of instant gratification. Furthermore, thanks to reality television, people now feel entitled to a
THE HUNT shot at their impossible dream and don’t care who they have to step on—or, in the case of David Soren’s animated flick, slither over—to achieve it. Such is the case with Turbo (Ryan Reynolds), a gardenvariety snail who, once doused with nitrous oxide, has speed to burn and the single-mindedness necessary to pursue his fantasy: winning the Indy 500. Undemanding tykes will probably be satisfied by race sequences that are fast-paced, if not particularly inventive. The humor is similarly uncreative, with a reliance on running jokes—snails are picked off midsentence by predatory crows—resulting in only a handful of gags. The ultimate lesson here is that there are no consequences to your unconscionable actions as long as you walk away a winner. PG. CURTIS WOLOSCHUK. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Mill Plain, Cornelius, Lloyd Center, Oak Grove, Sandy.
The Way, Way Back
B The Way, Way Back is a movie
about a boy—awkward and introverted 14-year-old Duncan, all hunchback slouch and downcast eyes—who learns to become a man. But it’s also a film about two men stuck in boyhood. They’re men-children of entirely different species: Trent (Steve Carell, playing against type to mixed results) is a philandering meanie and the boyfriend of Duncan’s divorced mom. Owen (Sam Rockwell) is the fast-talking manager of a slightly shabby water park, too fond of cracking jokes and making ’80s references to follow the rules or think much about his future. And each has the potential to make or break Duncan’s summer vacation in a quaint New England coastal town, where the kids spend their days sulking and the parents sneak off to the dunes to smoke weed. Wanting to escape Trent, Duncan (admirably underplayed by Liam James) finds a girly pink bicycle and pedals to Water Wizz, the park Owen runs. In a Dirty Dancing-style twist, it’s here with the comparative riffraff that Duncan blossoms. It’s a wellworn model, but Nat Faxon and Jim Rash (who shared a screenwriting Oscar with Alexander Payne for The Descendants and make their directorial debut here) manage a film saturated in both summery charm and gratifying laughs. PG-13. REBECCA JACOBSON. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Lloyd Center, Moreland.
World War Z
C Thanks to $20 million in reshoots, Marc Forster’s World War Z has managed to conceal most of the cosmetic evidence of its clusterfuck production and emerge as an eminently watchable summer blockbuster. That said, it remains fundamentally flawed. Billed as “an oral history of the zombie war,” Max Brooks’ inventive 2006 novel-turned-source material saw dozens of characters sharing their horrific accounts of humanity’s annihilation. What World War Z most glaringly lacks is any unique sensibility. The screenplay has no interest in subtext—the lifeblood of any great zombie film. PG-13. CURTIS WOLOSCHUK. 99 West Drive-In, Eastport, Clackamas.
MOVIES
JULY 26-AUG. 1 Fifth Avenue Cinemas
WILLIAM EGGLESTON
BREWVIEWS
510 SW Hall St., 503-725-3551 THE DIVING BELL AND THE BUTTERFLY Fri-Sat-Sun 03:00
Hollywood Theatre
4122 NE Sandy Blvd., 503-281-4215 THE LOOK OF LOVE FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 07:00, 09:00 ONLY GOD FORGIVES Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 07:15, 09:15 SCARFACE Fri-Sat-Sun 07:30 SCARFACE Sat-Sun 03:00 BIG STAR: NOTHING CAN HURT ME Sat-Sun 02:30, 04:45 LOW WINTER SUN Mon 08:00 MEN IN SUITS Tue 07:30 JOURNEY TO KATHMANDU Wed 07:30
NW Film Center’s Whitsell Auditorium
TWINKLE, TWINKLE: Long ago, in a galaxy far, far away, a little powerpop group from Memphis was once as famous as the Beatles. Children by the millions sang odes to the lead singer, and teenagers of the 1970s blasted its songs in their Vista Cruisers. That’s the fanfic version of the Big Star story, anyway. In reality, failure defines the band, and that’s the lens through which new documentary Big Star: Nothing Can Hurt Me frames it. Drew DeNicola and Olivia Mori focus on what was lost—namely, twin geniuses Alex Chilton and Chris Bell. After Big Star’s debut album flopped, Bell didn’t even stick around for album No. 2: He descended into drugs and religion, wrote at least one more achingly poignant tune and died in a car accident in 1978 at age 27. Chilton lived long enough to witness Big Star’s rediscovery, but by then he’d grown embittered, and he died suddenly in 2010. DeNicola and Mori don’t really explain why Big Star failed to make it big, but if their film encourages one person to pick up one of the band’s masterpieces and imagine what could’ve been, then it is triumph enough. MATTHEW SINGER. Playing at: Hollywood Theatre. Best paired with: Deschutes Twilight Summer Ale. Also playing: Back to the Future (Academy), Enter the Dragon (Laurelhurst). 503-282-2898 THE WOLVERINE Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 01:30, 04:45, 08:00
Lloyd Center 10 and IMAX
1510 NE Multnomah St., 800326-3264 PACIFIC RIM: AN IMAX 3D EXPERIENCE Fri-SatSun 12:30, 03:45, 07:00, 10:10 THE WOLVERINE Fri-Sat-Sun 12:35, 03:45, 07:00, 10:10 THE WOLVERINE 3D Fri-SatSun 12:05, 03:15, 06:30, 09:40 THE CONJURING Fri-Sat-Sun 12:40, 03:35, 06:45, 09:30 RED 2 FriSat-Sun 12:50, 03:55, 07:05, 10:00 PACIFIC RIM Fri-Sat-Sun 12:30, 03:40, 06:55, 10:05 THE WAY WAY BACK Fri-Sat-Sun 11:35, 02:15, 04:55, 07:35, 10:15 R.I.P.D. Fri-Sat-Sun 02:35, 07:45 R.I.P.D. 3D Fri-Sat-Sun 12:00, 05:10, 10:20 DESPICABLE ME 2 Fri-Sat-Sun 11:30, 02:05, 04:40, 07:15, 09:55 TURBO Fri-SatSun 02:20, 04:50, 07:20, 09:50 SPRINGSTEEN & I 2ND SHOWING Tue 07:30 GRATEFUL DEAD MEET UP SUNSHINE DAYDREAM 2 GUNS
Regal Lloyd Mall 8
2320 Lloyd Center Mall, 800-326-3264 FRUITVALE STATION FriSat-Sun 12:00, 03:05, 06:10, 08:15 THE SMURFS 2 3D Wed 03:00, 08:50 THE SMURFS 2 Wed 12:30, 06:30
Bagdad Theater and Pub
3702 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 503-249-7474 IRON MAN 3 Sat-Sun 02:00 FRANCES HA Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 09:10 THE GREAT GATSBY Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 06:00 THE BIG LEBOWSKI Sat 10:30
Cinema 21
616 NW 21st Ave., 503-223-4515 I’M SO EXCITED! Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 04:30, 07:00, 09:00
Clinton Street Theater
2522 SE Clinton St., 503-238-8899 HAVA NAGILA (THE MOVIE) Fri-Sat-Sun 07:00 APARTMENT 1303 Fri-SatSun 09:00 CARTOONS Sat 10:00 THE ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW Sat 12:00 THE BLOOM SERIES: EPISODE 3 Tue 07:00 REEL FEMINISM PRESENTS: DESERT FLOWER Wed 07:00 HENDRIX 70: LIVE AT WOODSTOCK
Laurelhurst Theatre and Pub
2735 E Burnside St., 503-232-5511 KON-TIKI Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 07:10 ENTER THE DRAGON Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 09:30 THE GREAT GATSBY Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 06:30 MUD Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-TueWed 09:15 THE BLING RING Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-TueWed 09:40 IRON MAN 3 Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 07:00 STORIES WE TELL Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 06:40 FRANCES HA FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 09:00 EPIC Sat-Sun 01:20
Moreland Theatre
6712 SE Milwaukie Ave., 503236-5257 THE WAY WAY BACK FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 05:30, 07:45
Roseway Theatre
St. Johns Twin Cinemas and Pub
8704 N Lombard St., 503-286-1768 RED 2 Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 04:30, 07:00, 09:30 THE WOLVERINE Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 04:50, 07:50
CineMagic Theatre 2021 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 503-231-7919 RED 2 Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 05:30, 08:00
Edgefield Powerstation Theater
2126 SW Halsey St., 503-249-7474-2 IRON MAN 3 Fri-Sat-SunMon-Wed 06:00 THE GREAT GATSBY Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 09:00
Kennedy School Theater
5736 NE 33rd Ave., 503-249-7474-4 FAST & FURIOUS 6 FriSat-Sun-Mon 02:30 EPIC Fri-Sat-Sun-Tue-Wed 05:30 THE GREAT GATSBY FriSat-Sun-Tue-Wed 07:45 IRON MAN 3 Tue-Wed 02:30
The OMNIMAX Theatre at OMSI
1945 SE Water Ave., 503-797-4640 DINOSAURS ALIVE! Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:00 ADRENALINE Fri-Sat 08:00 HUBBLE Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 03:00, 06:00 BORN TO BE WILD Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:00, 07:00 DEEP SEA Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 02:00, 04:00 MUMMIES: SECRETS OF THE PHARAOHS FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 01:00, 05:00
1219 SW Park Ave., 503-221-1156 DAISIES Fri-Sat 08:45 CLOSELY WATCHED TRAINS Fri-Sat 07:00
Regal Pioneer Place Stadium 6
340 SW Morrison St., 800-326-3264 THE WOLVERINE 3D Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-TueWed 03:45, 10:15 THE WOLVERINE Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 12:30, 07:00 THE SMURFS 2 3D Wed 02:40, 10:20 THE SMURFS 2 Wed 12:00, 05:10, 07:45 2 GUNS
St. Johns Theatre
8203 N Ivanhoe St., 503-249-7474-6 IRON MAN 3 Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 06:00 RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK Fri-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 01:00, 08:50 A PLACE AT THE TABLE Sun 05:00
Academy Theater
7818 SE Stark St., 503-252-0500 THE BLING RING Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 06:15, 10:00 EPIC Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 11:40, 01:50, 04:00 FRANCES HA Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 08:10 THE GREAT GATSBY Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:50, 06:35 IRON MAN 3 Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-TueWed 03:45, 09:30 MUD Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 02:00, 07:00 BACK TO THE FUTURE Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 11:30, 04:35, 09:40
Living Room Theaters
341 SW 10th Ave., 971-222-2010 20 FEET FROM STARDOM Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:40, 01:40, 03:40, 05:10, 05:40, 07:45, 08:50 A HIJACKING Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 02:10, 07:15 CRYSTAL FAIRY Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:50, 02:20, 04:40, 06:50, 09:00 MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 12:05, 02:00, 09:30 NOW YOU SEE ME Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:45, 04:30, 07:00, 09:25 ONLY GOD FORGIVES Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 03:30, 05:30, 07:30, 09:45 THE HUNT Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 12:10, 02:30, 04:20, 06:40, 09:35 SUBJECT TO CHANGE. CALL THEATERS OR VISIT WWEEK.COM/MOVIETIMES FOR THE MOST UP-TODATE INFORMATION FRIDAY-THURSDAY, JULY 26-AUG. 1, UNLESS OTHERWISE INDICATED
7229 NE Sandy Blvd.,
Willamette Week JULY 24, 2013 wweek.com
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STUFF
ASHLEE HORTON
COUNSELING
CORIN KUPPLER
MASSAGE (LICENSED) Enjoy the Benefits of Massage
Massage openings in the Mt. Tabor area. Call Jerry for info. 503-757-7295. LMT6111.
INDULGE YOURSELF in an - AWESOME FULL BODY MASSAGE
Low cost. No one turned away for inability to pay.
503-740-5120
Serving Individuals Families Couples
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SERVICES BUILDING/REMODELING
MUSIC LESSONS GUITAR LESSONS Personalized instruction for over 15yrs. Adults & children. Beginner through advanced. www.danielnoland.com 503-546-3137
lmt#6250
Learn Piano All styles, levels
With 2 time Grammy winner Peter Boe. 503-274-8727.
CLEANING
NON-PROFIT DISCOUNTS AVAILABLE.
LAWN SERVICES Bernhard’s
MEN’S HEALTH Weight Mastery Stress Relief Spiritual Insight Smoking Cessation Procrastination Self Esteem Past Life
AUDIO Inner Sound
Residential, Commercial and Rentals. Complete yard care, 20 years. 503-515-9803. Licensed and Insured.
MANSCAPING
Bodyhair grooming M4M. Discrete quality service. 503-841-0385 by appointment.
PSYCHICS Emily Watts, God-Gifted Love Psychologist. Reunites Lovers. Stops Unwanted Divorce. Helps all problems. 2 Free Questions by Phone. 1-630-835-7256 (AAN CAN)
TREE SERVICES Steve Greenberg Tree Service
Pruning and removals, stump grinding. 24-hour emergency service. Licensed/ Insured. CCB#67024. Free estimates. 503-284-2077
OMMP Resource Center
CELL PHONE REPAIR N Revived Cellular & Technology
Providing Safe Access to Medicine Valid MMJ Card Holders Only No Membership Dues or Door Fees
7816 N. Interstate Ave. Portland, Oregon 97217 503-286-1527 www.revivedcellular.com
“Simply the Best Meds” www.rosecitywellnesscenter.com
AUTO COLLISION REPAIR NE Atomic Auto
JONESIN’ PG. 71
Willamette Week Classifieds JULY 24, 2013 wweek.com
CLASSICAL PIANO/ KEYBOARD Theory Performance. All levels. Therapy. Portland
WWEEK.COM
LOST & FOUND If you are the lad with a skateboard who was near I-5 in Stockton, Friday the 12th, trying to hitch a ride to Portland, please email me at wgtts@me.com. “Green Subaru”
MISCELLANEOUS Advertise your business or product in alternative papers across the U.S. for just $995/week. New advertiser discount “Buy 3 Weeks, Get 1 Free” www.altweeklies.com/ads (AAN CAN)
SUPPORT GROUPS Got Meth Problems? Need Help?
Oregon CMA 24 hour Hot-line Number: 503-895-1311. We are here to help you! Information, support, safe & confidential!
*ADOPTION:*
Affectionate Artistic Musical Financially Secure Family awaits 1st baby. Tina *1-800-933-1975* Expenses paid
ANNOUNCEMENTS Psychic, Health & Craft Fair
In Yachats, OR. August. 3-4, 2013 541-547-4664 www.chucklingcherubs.com
LEGAL NOTICES NOTICE OF TERMINATION OF PARENTAL RIGHTS ACTION
ALTERNATIVE MEDICINE
1416 SE Morrison Street Portland, Oregon 97214 503-238-1955 www.inner-sound.com
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Totally Relaxing Massage
Featuring Swedish, deep tissue and sports techniques by a male therapist. Conveniently located, affordable, and preferring male clientele at this time. #5968 By appointment Tim 503.575.0356
MOVING
2510 NE Sandy Blvd Portland, Or 97232 503-969-3134 www.atomicauto.biz
BULLETIN BOARD WILLAMETTE WEEK’S GATHERING PLACE
1925 NE 61st Ave. Portland, Oregon 97213 503-774-4103
LESSONS
503-227-6557
Buying, selling, instruments of every shape and size. Open 11am-7pm every day. 4701 SE Division & 1834 NE Alberta.
2023 NW Hoyt St • Portland
TREE SERVICE NE Steve Greenberg Tree Service
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FOR FREE ADS in 'Musicians Wanted,' 'Musicians Available' & 'Instruments for Sale' go to portland.backpage.com and submit ads online. Ads taken over the phone in these categories cost $5.
TRADEUPMUSIC.COM
6905 SW 35th Ave. Portland, Oregon 97219 503-244-0753
503-839-7222 3642 N. Farragut Portland, Or 97217 moneymone1@gmail.com
MUSICIANS MARKET INSTRUMENTS FOR SALE
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HOME IMPROVEMENT SW Jill Of All Trades
HAULING N LJ Hauling
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Counseling 503.226.3021 x220
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WELLNESS
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JULY 24, 2013
MOTOR GENERAL “Atomic Auto New School Technology, Old School Service” www.atomicauto.biz mention you saw this ad in WW and receive 10% off for your 1st visit!
TO: Eric Tolbert DOB: 03/01/69, Respondent FROM: Confidential Clerk of Family Court The Department of Services for Children, Youth and Their Families, Petitioner, has brought a civil action (Petition #12-40320) against you to terminate your parental rights of your child(ren): *Minor Male, DOB: 09/02/98 A hearing has been scheduled at the Family Court, 400 Court Street, Dover, Delaware, on 09/24/13 at 1:30pm. If you do not appear at the hearing, the Court may terminate your parental rights without your appearance. IF YOU WISH TO BE REPRESENTED BY AN ATTORNEY IN THIS MATTER BUT CANNOT AFFORD ONE, YOU MAY BE ENTITLED TO HAVE THE COURT APPOINT AN ATTORNEY TO REPRESENT YOU FOR FREE. FOR MORE INFORMATION PLEASE CONTACT THE CONFIDENTIAL CLERK AT FAMILY COURT, (302) 672-1001
AUTOS WANTED CASH FOR CARS: Any Car/Truck. Running or Not! Top Dollar Paid. We Come To You! Call For Instant Offer: 1-888-4203808 www.cash4car.com (AAN CAN)
TO PLACE AN AD CONTACT:
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Week of July 25
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JOBS CAREER TRAINING
ARIES (March 21-April 19): “I have tried in my way to be free,” sings Leonard Cohen in his song “Bird on a Wire.” In other words, he has done the best he can to liberate himself from his unconscious patterns, bad habits, and self-delusions. He hasn’t been perfect in his efforts, but the work he has done has earned him a measure of deliverance from his suffering. I recommend you follow his lead, Aries. Do your best to bring more relief and release into your life. Get rid of things that hold you back. Overthrow a pinched expectation and ignore a so-called limitation or two. By this time next week, I hope you will be able to say sincerely, “I have tried in my way to be free.” TAURUS (April 20-May 20): “There are some things you learn best in calm, and some in storm,” wrote the novelist Willa Cather. According to my reading of the astrological omens, Taurus, you’re in a phase of your cycle when storm-learning isn’t your priority. The educational experiences you need most will unfold when you’re exploring the mysteries of peace and serenity. In fact, I suspect that the deeper you relax, the more likely it is that you will attract life-changing teachings -- lessons that can transform your life for the better and fuel you for a long time. GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Is there a message you’ve wanted to deliver for a long time but haven’t been able to? Are you bursting with thoughts or feelings that you’ve been longing to express but can’t find the right way to do so? Have you spent months carrying around a poignant truth that you have felt wasn’t ripe enough to be revealed? If your answer to any of those questions is yes, I believe the time will soon be at hand to make a move. But it’s important that you’re not impulsive or melodramatic as you initiate your breakthrough communications. For best results, be full of grace and balance. CANCER (June 21-July 22): Bees and other insects can see ultraviolet light, which is invisible to humans. When they look at flowers, they detect designs on the petals that you and I cannot. For example, the evening primrose appears completely yellow to us, but it calls seductively to bees with a flashy star pattern at its center. Many of the secret signs that flowers offer the pollinators are meant to guide them to where the pollen and nectar are. Let’s use this as our metaphor of the week, Cancerian. I am not predicting that you will be able to perceive a broader spectrum of light. But I do believe you will discern cues and clues that are hidden from most people and that have been imperceptible to you in the past. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): “I was six years old when my parents told me that there was a small, dark jewel inside my skull, learning to be me.” So said the Leo science fiction writer Greg Egan in his story “Learning to Be Me.” Let’s pretend that you, too, have a small dark jewel inside your skull that’s learning to be you. It’s a good metaphor for what I believe has been happening all these years: You have been gradually mastering the art of being the best Leo you can be. It hasn’t been easy. You weren’t born knowing how to be your beautiful, radiant, courageous self, but have had to work hard to activate your potentials. Now you’re moving into an especially critical phase of the process: a time when you have the chance to learn how to love yourself with greater ingenuity. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): “Dear Astrology Guy: Please tell me why I have to work so hard -- meditate, reflect, read, analyze, poke, prod, investigate -- to discover truths about myself that must be obvious to others. Why is it so hard for me to see where I need healing and where I need to let go? Why is it such an ordeal to grasp what is interfering with my wholeness when I can quickly pinpoint what other people’s issues are? -Overworked Virgo.” Dear Overworked: I’m happy to report that you Virgos will soon be offered a gush of revelations about who you are, how you can heal, and what strategies will best serve your quest to minimize your anxiety. Are you prepared to absorb some intense teachings? For best results, make yourself extra receptive.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): One of the world’s best race car teams is McLaren. It wins about 25 percent of the events in which it competes. Its skilled drivers account for much of its success, but its technicians are also pretty sensational. During a pitstop in the middle of a race, they can change all four tires on the car in less than three seconds. Do you have helpers like that, Libra? If you don’t, it’s time to intensify your efforts to get them. And if you do, it’s time to call on them to give you an extra boost. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Let’s try an experiment. It’s risky, but I’m hoping you will do it with such flair that there will be no karmic blowback. What I propose, Scorpio, is that you have fun expressing more confidence than usual. I invite you to strut a bit, even swagger, as you demonstrate your command over your circumstances. Enjoy acting as if the world is your plaything . . . as if everyone around you secretly needs you to rise up and be a bigger, bolder version of yourself. The trick, of course, will be to avoid getting puffed up with grandiose delusions. Your challenge is to be more wildly devoted to embodying your soul’s code without lapsing into arrogance. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): I suspect that you are longing to take a quantum leap of faith, but are also afraid to take that quantum leap of faith. You sense the potential of experiencing a very cool expansion, while at the same time you hesitate to leave your comfort zone and give up your familiar pain. In light of the conflict, which may not be entirely conscious, I suggest you hold off on making a gigantic quantum leap of faith. Instead, experiment with a few bunny hops of faith. Build up your courage with some playful skips and skitters and bounces that incrementally extend your possibilities. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Hoaxes exposed! Bluffs called! Secrets revealed! Whitewashes uncovered! Curses banished! Taboos broken! Those are the headlines I expect to see emblazoned in your Book of Life during the coming weeks. Can you handle that many holy disruptions? Will you be able to deal with the stress that might come from having so much raucous success? These are important questions, because if you’re not up to the challenge, you may scare away the transformations. So steel your resolve, Capricorn. Mobilize your will. Do what’s necessary to harvest the unruly blessings. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): The French novelist Flaubert declared that if you hope to write a book, you should first read 1,500 books. A Roman author named Petronius believed that the imagination does not work at its peak power unless it is inundated with reading material. I suggest you adopt their advice and apply it to your own field, Aquarius. Whatever skill or subject you want to master, expose yourself lavishly to the efforts of other people who have already mastered it. Flood yourself with well-crafted inspiration. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Should you be worried that a venomous spider has crawled into your shoe while you were sleeping? Just in case, should you flip your shoe upside-down before putting it on each morning? My studied opinion: hell, no. The chances of you being bitten on the foot by a venomous spider lurking in your shoe are even less than the possibility that you will be abducted by an alien who looks like Elvis Presley and forced to sing a karaoke version of Beyonce’s “Single Ladies” at an extraterrestrial bar. And if you are going around filled with delusional anxieties like that, you will definitely interfere with life’s current predilection, which is to give you a cleansing respite from your fears as well as immunity from harm.
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I M A D E T HIS
63 Pink character on “The Backyardigans” 64 Sensitive to other’s feelings 65 Visualizing 66 Fast-spinning stat 67 Body shop removal Down 1 Deceased Wu-Tang member, briefly 2 Word from Miss Piggy 3 “Brokeback Mountain” director Lee 4 Burgles 5 Art correspondence class come-on 6 Laundry detergent brand of yore 7 Alpine melody 8 Lovey’s hubby on “Gilligan’s Island” 9 “Cool,” once 10 “America’s Most Wanted” host John 11 Support group with 12 steps 12 Prepare for a factory upgrade 13 Amplifier setting 15 Progressive character? 20 “Someone Like You” singer 22 Pre-album albums, briefly 23 “Jackass” crew member Margera 24 Nothing to brag about 26 Is impossible 28 In a muddle 29 Sarah of “Roseanne” and “Scrubs”
33 Clock settings 34 Nerve 36 Easy-to-recognize word in speech recognition programs 37 Ache (for) 38 Air, to Germans 41 Pain in the neck? 42 Place a curse on 43 Jazz bassist Charlie 44 Early even score 45 Penguin from Antarctica 47 Cuts corners 49 From Baghdad, say 50 Comparatively peculiar 51 Dirt cluster 55 The Pistons, the Pacers, etc. 56 Founded, on town signs 58 It’s “a mass of incandescent gas,” in a TMBG song 60 Word ignored when alphabetizing 61 “Ich bin ___ Berliner” 62 %, for short
last week’s answers
Across 1 “Rubaiyat” poet Khayyam 5 Unbuttered, like toast 8 Foil the plans of 14 Vincent of “Law & Order: Criminal Intent” 16 Medicine man 17 Extremely drab orchestra tunes? 18 Pulling an all-nighter 19 Not a silk purse source, in an old phrase 21 Clique member, often 22 Fall back, as the tide 25 Rap so ancient that fungus is growing on it? 27 Opulent residence 30 Greek letter 31 The Atlanta Braves’ div. 32 Destroy 33 Went ___ for the ride 35 Loud music that’s too deep to think about? 39 Succulent plants 40 “Arrested Development” surname 43 Big bygone bird 46 1998 Hyundai acquisition 47 Pic taken at arm’s length 48 Anti-label music that’s totally bogus? 52 S.E. Hinton classic 53 ___-do-well (scoundrel) 54 Border on the court 57 Let everyone else have a turn 59 Moronic offshoot of reggae?
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