39 12 willamette week, january 23, 2013 by Willamette Week Newspaper

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WILLAMETTE WEEK PORTLAND’S NEWSWEEKLY

“WE DON’T HAVE TO BE AN OCCUPATION FORCE.” P. 9 WWEEK.COM

VOL 39/12 01.23.2013

WINTER

GUIDE INDOOR BIKES, TRASH-BAG SLEDS AND SETTLING CATAN. P. 11

J O H N F M A LTA . C O M

CURLING THE ULTIMATE DRINKING SPORT? GEAR COOL STUFF FROM LOCAL COMPANIES. SKIING WITHOUT A LIFT TICKET.

Willamette Week JANUARY 23, 2013 wweek.com

CONTENT

DAL E P

BEYOND THE PALE: Unpopular moments in white hip-hop. Page 25.

NEWS

MUSIC

LEAD STORY

PERFORMANCE 41

CULTURE

MOVIES

FOOD & DRINK

CLASSIFIEDS

STAFF Editor-in-Chief Mark Zusman EDITORIAL Managing Editor for News Brent Walth Arts & Culture Editor Martin Cizmar Staff Writers Andrea Damewood, Nigel Jaquiss, Aaron Mesh Copy Chief Rob Fernas Copy Editors Matt Buckingham, Peggy Capps Stage & Screen Editor Rebecca Jacobson Music Editor Matthew Singer Books Penelope Bass Classical Brett Campbell Dance Heather Wisner Theater Rebecca Jacobson Visual Arts Richard Speer Editorial Interns Erin Fenner, Matthew Kauffman, Mitch Lillie, Michael Munkvold

MAIN STORE 706 SE MARTIN LUTHER KING JR. BLVD / 503.233.5973 / M-F 10-7 SAT 10-5 SUN 12-5 OUTLET STORE 534 SE BELMONT, 503.446.2205 / RIVERCITYBICYCLES.COM / OPEN EVERY DAY CONTRIBUTORS Judge Bean, Emilee Booher, Nathan Carson, Kelly Clarke, Shane Danaher, Dan DePrez, Jonathan Frochtzwajg, Robert Ham, Shae Healey, Jay Horton, Reed Jackson, Nora Eileen Jones, Matthew Korfhage, AP Kryza, Jessica Pedrosa, Jeff Rosenberg, Chris Stamm PRODUCTION Production Manager Ben Kubany Art Director Ben Mollica Graphic Designers Amy Martin, Brittany Moody, Dylan Serkin Production Interns Ashley Adair, V. Kapoor ADVERTISING Director of Advertising Jane Smith Display Account Executives Maria Boyer, Michael Donhowe, Carly Hutchens, Ryan Kingrey, Janet Norman, Kyle Owens, Sharri Miller Regan Classifieds Account Executives Ashlee Horton Advertising Assistant Ashley Grether Marketing & Events Manager Carrie Henderson Marketing Coordinator Jeanine Gaitan Give!Guide Director Nick Johnson Production Assistant Brittany McKeever

Our mission: Provide our audiences with an independent and irreverent understanding of how their worlds work so they can make a difference. Though Willamette Week is free, please take just one copy. Anyone removing papers in bulk from our distribution points will be prosecuted, as they say, to the full extent of the law. Willamette Week is published weekly by City of Roses Newspaper Company 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Main line phone: (503) 243-2122 fax: (503) 243-1115 Classifieds phone: (503) 223-1500 fax: (503) 223-0388

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DISTRIBUTION Circulation Director Robert Lehrkind WWEEK.COM Web Production Brian Panganiban Web Editor Matthew Korfhage MUSICFESTNW Executive Director Trevor Solomon Associate Director Matt Manza OPERATIONS Accounting Manager Chris Petryszak Credit & Collections Shawn Wolf Office Manager Ginger Craft A/P Clerk Max Bauske Manager of Information Systems Brian Panganiban Publisher Richard H. Meeker

Willamette Week welcomes freelance submissions. Send material to either News Editor or Arts Editor. Manuscripts will be returned if you include a self-addressed, stamped envelope. To be considered for calendar listings, notice of events must be received in writing by noon Wednesday, two weeks before publication. Send to Calendar Editor. Photographs should be clearly labeled and will be returned if accompanied by a selfaddressed, stamped envelope. Questions concerning circulation or subscription inquiries should be directed to Robert Lehrkind at Willamette Week. Postmaster: Send all address changes to Willamette Week, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Subscription rates: One year $100, six months $50. Back issues $5 for walk-ins, $8 for mailed requests when available. Willamette Week is mailed at third-class rates. A.A.N. Association of ALTERNATIVE NEWSWEEKLIES This newspaper is published on recycled newsprint using soy-based ink.

Willamette Week JANUARY 23, 2013 wweek.com

INBOX HISTORY LESSON IN TERRORISM

Imagine that Mohamed Mohamud had had the knowledge of explosives to ensure he had a working bomb [“Mohamed and ‘The Terror Factory,’” WW, Jan. 9, 2013]. Imagine further that instead of showing up at his designated time and place, he had shown up a day later, when the FBI stakeout had given up on him and gone home. Substitute the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives for the FBI, and you get what happened in Oklahoma City on April 19, 1995. The copious evidence of this government sting operation gone horribly wrong was laid out in detail at the time by the San Jose Mercury News and radio talk-show host Chuck Harder, but largely ignored by the mainstream media, which was content to parrot the government’s daily press briefings at Timothy McVeigh’s trial, and by the alternative media, which perhaps couldn’t summon the same sympathy for a murderous, redneck white supremacist that they now can for a murderous, immigrant Muslim. Peter Parslow Northeast Portland

Oregon Humanities Center

SOLUTIONS FOR OREGON SCHOOLS

Rudy Crew would be an even more interesting change agent if he would adopt the position of another nationally famous African-American reformer, Cory Booker. Booker, the Democratic mayor of Newark, N.J., is passionate about education reform, including a broad school-choice agenda. —“Steve Buckstein”

I wish Rudy Crew luck [“Wrecking Crew, WW, Jan. 16, 2013]. Schools need a big injection of innovation and accountability (for teachers, administrators and students), and that would be very tricky to manage even if it weren’t a dire threat to the status quo. I don’t think the teachers’ unions have to be an obstacle—actually, the effort is doomed unless you can figure out how to engage them and their members as partners. Acknowledge that the unions have a responsibility to protect

CORRECTION

Why do hundreds of crows gather in the trees at Southwest 5th Avenue and Salmon Street around 7 every morning? Their sound is deafening, and pedestrians have to dodge their droppings. What attracts so many crows to this spot? —Hitchcock Fan

day of eating roadkill and crapping on stuff. This morning check-in creates the commotion you’ve observed. You should consider yourself lucky—some roosts number in the tens of thousands and really make an unholy mess, like the Rainbow Gathering if hippies could fly. But why do crows, which are theoretically wildlife, insist on doing this in the heart of the city, rather than out in the countryside where sturdy farmer types with less of a hangover than you might know how to deal with their shenanigans? One possibility is that crows (who, as noted above, are at least as smart as some dude in a feathered suit) have figured out that, unlike those farmer types, we wussified city folk basically never shoot guns at them. Another theory is that crows actually like the city lights, which help them to spot predatory owls—not to mention allowing them to sit up late reading “To Serve Man.”

In last week’s story on Oregon Chief Education Officer Rudy Crew [“Wrecking Crew,” WW, Jan. 16, 2013], a quote from Crew was mistakenly attributed to former New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani. WW regrets the error. LETTERS TO THE EDITOR must include the author’s street address and phone number for veriﬁcation. Letters must be 250 or fewer words. Submit to: 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Fax: (503) 243-1115. Email: mzusman@wweek.com.

The Best Care Possible Through the End of Life: What It Is and How to Get It Ira Byock, M.D.

Director of Palliative Medicine, Dartmouth-Hitchcock Medical Center

Friday, January 25, 2013 7 p.m. • UO in Portland

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The lecture is free and open to the public and will be followed by a book sale and signing. No tickets or reservations. For information, contact: ohc@uoregon.edu or (541) 346-3934. View live-streaming video at:

ohc.uoregon.edu Communications partner: EO/AA/ADA institution committed to cultural diversity

their members’ interests, and focus on how they can help cut dead wood out of the system (it’s no mystery at any school who the crummy teachers are), get more resources into the system and use them effectively. And there needs to be a lot more support for kids in poverty. It makes a ton of sense to put more resources into the less-successful schools. Of course, it’s more expensive to educate less well-prepared students bringing a lot of other issues to class with them. For those inclined to whine about “throwing money at the problem,” have a look at how rich people approach this. Do you think there are 40 kids in a class, sharing 20 textbooks, at Andover (or Catlin Gabel)? —“Michael”

Willamette Week JANUARY 23, 2013 wweek.com

Henry Ward Beecher once said, “If you dressed men in feathers and wings, few of them would have the cleverness to be crows.” What an asshole that guy was. Anyway, congratulations: Your favorite downtown location has become a crows’ roost. In the wintertime, crows like to intimidate humanity by converging in vast numbers each night to roost—i.e., to sleep, socialize and try to evolve the hive-mind superintelligence that will enable them to wipe us from the planet for good. Around dawn, the crows wake up and, like most folks, want to shoot the breeze with their buddies for a while before heading out for a hard

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When her lover, Cavaradossi, faces execution for aiding a political prisoner, Tosca must make an unthinkable choice: submit to the loathsome Baron Scarpia, chief of police ... or send her true love to the firing squad. A passionate tour de force, Puccini’s thriller has been beloved by audiences since its premiere. Sung in Italian with English projections above the stage.

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LEGISLATURE: CRC funding push begins in Salem. CITY HALL: Fritz wants publicly funded campaigns back. COPS: Charlie Hales’ police adviser tells his story. COVER STORY: Stay cool with our Winter Guide.

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John DiLorenzo, a leading GOP lobbyist, is looking to do Gov. John Kitzhaber, a Democrat, a favor. DiLorenzo is pushing legislation for the upcoming legislative session that would expand the governor’s ability to fire agency directors, commissioners and other high-level employees. DiLorenzo says the issue goes beyond partisan considerations and that he was DILORENZO inspired by the refusal last year of former University of Oregon President Richard Lariviere and ex-Oregon Liquor Control Commission director Steve Pharo to quit as soon as Kitzhaber wanted. “I discovered to my horror that there aren’t many people who the governor can fire,” DiLorenzo says. “Why should we hamstring a governor who has a mandate?” Nike got an even better deal in the December special legislative session than we knew. Although lawmakers wanted the sneaker giant’s 30-year tax-certainty deal effective Dec. 14, 2012, Kitzhaber signed a contract effective Jan. 1, 2012. Jody Wiser of the watchdog group Tax Fairness Oregon says that means Nike could get credit toward its required hiring of 500 new employees and investing $150 million of new money for decisions it made in the first 11 months of last year. Kitzhaber’s spokesman, Tim Raphael, says lawmakers gave Kitzhaber authority to negotiate the contact, and a January 2012 start was his intention. State Rep. Mitch Greenlick (D-Portland) is bucking the tide on the Columbia River Crossing project (page 7). Greenlick is sponsoring legislation, which would prohibit the Oregon Department of Transportation from spending any more money on the $3.5 billion project until the agency demonstrates Oregon can afford the project and it can actually be built. Greenlick thinks neither is true. “We’re not going to have the funding, GREENLICK and we are unlikely to get Coast Guard permission for the currently proposed height,” Greenlick says. “If something can’t possibly happen, it’s just not likely to.” The consumer-advocacy group OSPIRG gave Portland a D-minus in a national ranking of city government spending transparency. The analysis looked at the online availability of government data in the 30 largest U.S. cities. Portland ranked 25th for how much online information it provides about its spending. The most transparent cities were Chicago, New York and San Francisco. “Portland is far behind other major cities in the amount of spending data that it provides to its residents,” says OSPIRG’s Celeste Meiffren. “Right now, Portlanders will find it difficult to go online and see exactly how their tax dollars are being spent.” Read more Murmurs and daily scuttlebutt.

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NEWS

New Name, same deal: The controversial Columbia River Crossing is now “The Interstate 5 Bridge Replacement Program.”

PAY UP OR SHUT UP LAWMAKERS’ FIRST ORDER OF BUSINESS: FIND $450 MILLION FOR A REBRANDED CRC PROJECT. By nig e l jaq ui ss

njaquiss@wweek.com

After more than a decade and $160 million spent on planners, consultants and lobbyists, the proposed $3.5 billion Columbia River Crossing’s moment has finally arrived. When lawmakers convene Feb. 4 to begin their regular session, the CRC will be at the top of the to-do lists of Gov. John Kitzhaber and new House Speaker Tina Kotek (D -North Portland), in whose district the project will happen—if it happens. Depending on who’s describing it, the project to replace the existing Interstate 5 Bridge, extend light rail to Vancouver and fix five highway interchanges is vital infrastructure, a crucial economic development tool, or pork. Former state Rep. Katie Eyre (R-Hillsboro), who served on the CRC legislative oversight committee until this month, says proponents haven’t made their case. “People are going to need to be very thoughtful about whether it’s good policy,” Eyre says. Some supportive Democrats want the construction jobs and traffic-congestion relief the project promises, while smart-growth Democrats critical of the proposal say the CRC is just a 1950s-style freeway expansion. Republicans fear the project will divert transportation funding from their districts and do not want to vote for the

new taxes and fees Oregon’s $450 million contribution would require. The project’s funding plan calls for Oregon and Washington each to pony up $450 million, with the balance coming from federal contributions and bridge tolls. Kitzhaber filed a bill to provide the funding, although nowhere in the bill do the words “Columbia River Crossing” appear. That omission reflects the inconvenient truths that have dogged the project. For example, state figures show traffic across the bridge is 15 percent below the numbers that boosters used to justify construction. “With each successive year, CRC is falling further and further behind its forecast,” says Portland economist Joe Cortright, a critic of the project. Lighter traffic imperils toll revenues, which are supposed to provide more than $1 billion of the crossing’s financing. And Coast Guard concerns that the new bridge would be too low for marine traffic remain unresolved. Washington state is also a challenge. Lawmakers there have higher priorities for transportation funding, such as a multibillion-dollar fix for Seattle’s Alaskan Way Viaduct. Also, the Washington Supreme Court ruled last year that lawmakers must spend more on education, which could slice transportation funding by $500 million annually. And many Clark County voters oppose light rail. With all those troubles, it’s not surprising that Kitzhaber’s legislation refers to the CRC as “The Interstate 5 Bridge Replacement Program.”

The rebranding surfaced at the Oregon Leadership Summit in December, when the Oregon Department of Transportation handed out buttons with an I-5 highway sign and the motto “Build That Bridge.” Rep. Tobias Read (D -Beaverton), chairman of the House Transportation and Economic Development Committee and a strong supporter of the project, says the new name is aimed at clarity, not shaking off controversy. “What I’ve found is, that name ‘CRC’ doesn’t necessarily mean anything to people,” Read says. Read’s bigger concern is getting lawmakers to allocate $450 million. He says the state would probably borrow the money and repay it either with a new gas tax or an increase in vehicle registration and title fees. “There’s a variety of opinions,” Read says. “I am more a fan of the gas-tax option. It’s easier to absorb because the price of gas fluctuates a lot. A license-fee increase may get people more irritated.” By law, new taxes and fees must start in the House and require a three-fifths vote of both chambers. Kitzhaber has already said he’s not in favor of new taxes for education this session, and he’s asking for cuts to public pensions and prisons, both of which have powerful constituencies. Getting three-fifths of lawmakers to support new taxes or fees for a controversial project—whatever it’s called—will be a heavy lift. That’s particularly true in the Senate, where Democrats’ 16-14 majority is slimmer than their 34-26 advantage in the House and where the presiding officer, Senate President Peter Courtney (D-Salem), has no geographical allegiance to the project. Senate Republicans, meanwhile, will be in a position to hold the project hostage if they choose. GOP spokesman Michael Gay says his party doesn’t have a unified position. “The caucus as a whole is all over the map,” Gay says. “I think our rural members are the most skeptical. They see it as a big tax increase that only benefits the Portland area.” Willamette Week JANUARY 23, 2013 wweek.com

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City Commissioner Amanda Fritz spent her nest egg last year—more than $375,000 of her own money—to buy four more years in Portland City Hall. “Most people could not and would not do what I did,” Fritz says. “Which was to go to my husband of 30 years and say, ‘Do you mind if I sink our entire life savings in this campaign, because it means a lot to me?’” Her costly victory in November over former state Rep. Mary Nolan (D-Portland) was a mordant twist in Fritz’s political career. She was one of the first candidates to use Portland’s shortlived public campaign finance system—and the only challenger to reach City Council with it, in 2008. (Former Commissioner Erik Sten, who first championed a city fund for campaigns, was re-elected with public money in 2006.) Now Fritz, who earlier this month pledged never to run for office again, is determined to revive voter-funded campaigns. At her “reaffirming ceremony” Jan. 5, Fritz announced she would launch a campaign to bring back public campaign financing, three years after voters scrapped the system. She tells WW she intends to seek a ballot initiative for May 2014. Fritz remains furious that Nolan tried to spend her out of office, funded by $594,000 in donations, including big gifts from public employee unions. “I don’t think the ability to ask affluent entities for money should be a prerequisite to getting elected to the Portland City Council,” Fritz says. “Fundraising isn’t democracy in action.” November’s election, the first since voters rejected public financing by just 1,277 votes

“THE ABILITY TO ASK AFFLUENT ENTITIES FOR MONEY SHOULD [NOT] BE A PREREQUISITE TO GETTING ELECTED.” —AMANDA FRITZ (0.6 percent) in 2010, was dominated by big political contributions. The three major mayoral candidates spent a total of $3.89 million. After Eileen Brady finished third in the May mayoral primary despite record spending of more than $1.4 million, both Charlie Hales and former state Rep. Jefferson Smith (D-East Portland) acknowledged the uneasiness Portlanders feel about big-money campaigns. Both men implemented contribution limits for the general election. The original argument for public financing was twofold: that Oregon’s lack of contribution limits provided donors an opportunity to buy lots of influence and that incumbents outraised 8

Willamette Week JANUARY 23, 2013 wweek.com

NOT FOR SALE: Amanda Fritz.

challengers and nearly always won. City Council adopted public funding for city races in 2005 without a vote of the people, inflaming critics. The system, funded with money from all city bureaus, provided council candidates $150,000 in the primary and another $200,000 in the general election. To qualify, a candidate first had to collect a thousand $5 donations and foreswear private contributions. Almost immediately, a candidate cheated: In 2006, City Council candidate Emilie Boyles gathered signatures and faked donations, then spent more than $96,000 of taxpayer money on items like Internet marketing services from her 16-year-old daughter before fleeing to Montana. Other candidates who qualified for public money, such as Jesse Cornett and John Branam, spent strongly but performed poorly at the polls. The 2010 political campaign that defeated public financing—backed chiefly by the Portland Business Alliance—used Boyles as its poster woman for fraud. Fritz says the recession played a major role in voters rejecting a system proponents said would cost them less than $1 per year. “People were cranky and they were hurting in 2010,” Fritz says. “And they said, ‘68 cents a year? I need that 68 cents. Give it back to me.’ So I don’t think it was a resounding defeat of Portlanders’ belief in public campaign financing. I think it was, ‘Not now.’” Megan Doern, a spokeswoman for the Portland Business Alliance, says her group will continue to oppose public campaign funding. “It’s safe to say, given that Mayor Hales is looking at 10 percent budget cuts across the board, that we would not support public dollars for campaign spending,” Doern says. Fritz is still taking donations to pay herself back for bankrolling her own re-election. She’s raised just $2,855 in cash since Nov. 6. She says her victory—and the fact that she won’t be running for another term—gives public financing a success story it can sell. “If I had gone away,” she says, “that would have been the end of public financing.”

cOps

BARUTI ARTHAREE

NEWS

THE CITY’S NEW COPS CZAR TALKS ABOUT MAKING THE POLICE SAFER FOR HIS GRANDKIDS. v. k a p o o r

WW: Why’d you take this job? Baruti Artharee: I thought maybe I can make this a better place so if my grandkids encounter the police, it will be a more positive encounter. I have had times, as all of my family has in Compton, we’ve had contact with the Compton police, the LAPD or the sheriff. I’ve had an aggressive police officer stop me in my car and put me spread-eagle on the pavement. I’ve had a policeman put a gun to my head. Those are things you don’t get over. You had your first meeting last week with Portland Police Association president Daryl Turner. How did that go? I was impressed with Daryl Turner; he seems very professional and down-to-earth. I was struck by how much commonality he and I have. He shared with me that he grew up in Newark, N.J., and came to Portland to go to college. He was the first in his family to go to college. I thought, wow, you’re telling my story. point man: Baruti artharee will advise the mayor on cops. BY AN D R E A DA M E WOO D

adamewood@wweek.com

A lot of people in City Hall have interacted with police, but Baruti Artharee may be the only one who can say he’s had the business end of a cop’s gun pressed against his head. That was a long time ago, in Artharee’s hometown of Compton, Calif. But Mayor Charlie Hales’ new policy director for public safety says that kind of experience forever changes a person. Starting Feb. 1, Artharee, 60, will assume what will be one of the most watched roles in city government. It’s a $84,656-a-year gig that puts him squarely between the city’s police commissioner, Hales; a public demanding change; the U.S. Department of Justice; and the 950-plus sworn officers of the Portland Police Bureau. A fixture in Northeast Portland for nearly 40 years, Artharee says he’s worked with the city’s cops and knows they have a tough job. But the graduate of Linfield College and Harvard’s Kennedy School of Government says the bureau has failed to correct shortcomings he noticed when he first moved here in 1974. Artharee brings a long résumé to City Hall. He’s the former deputy executive director of the Portland Development Commission and onetime director of housing and community services for the state of Oregon and has extensive experience in the private sector as well. In an interview with WW, Artharee talked about leaving the Police Bureau a friendlier place for his grandsons, battling cancer and driving the anti-Prius.

Some things the police have done have outraged the public, even if they’re technically OK. What’s your view? I appreciate that police officers have a very tough job, and that they’re asked to do a lot in terms of the mental health crisis. At the same time, we expect police officers to be accountable to citizens for their behavior. If something happens that’s wrong, I’m going to speak up. Where will you focus this year? Well, the No. 1 issue is the U.S. Department of Justice reforms [the result of a federal investigation into police use of force against the mentally ill]. I know the chief [Mike Reese] is trying to implement some changes to the use of Tasers. We’ve talked about de-escalation training and a crisis-intervention center. The union also feels that there are changes in training that should be part of the collectivebargaining process. Were you disappointed that the DOJ report didn’t address race? I don’t know why the DOJ did not consider

race. I think it would be appropriate to include race in the discussion. How do you think the bureau is doing now? The first thing I’m going to do in my first 60 to 90 days is do my own personal assessment of where we are. As a private citizen, I can tell you that there’s work to be done. You have the issue of cultural competence. What kind of training are we providing? We don’t have to be an occupation force. How is your health? I’m a two-time cancer survivor. I had colon cancer in 2001 and prostate cancer in 2007. Prior to that, I had two back surgeries. For the last three years, I have consciously been working less than full time. That’s allowed me to take better care of my health. I’ve lost weight and kept my blood pressure down. On the spiritual level, I started studying at the [Highland Christian Center] School of Ministry in 2007, which gave me a much better spiritual focus.

“ i’ve had a policeman put a gun to my head. those are things you don’t get over.” As a former Portland Development Commission executive, do you plan to work with the PDC? What I will say about the PDC is, there are some major decisions to be made regarding shrinking resources. Same thing with the Housing Bureau. I think I have enough experience in both areas to bring some ideas to the table. You have a sweet car. What is it? It’s a 1968 Lincoln Continental. I used to have a 1964 Chevy Bel Air with hydraulics, but it got stolen. So I thought, I’m going to get a car only an old man would steal.

Willamette Week JANUARY 23, 2013 wweek.com

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Winter

guide INDOOR BIKES, TRASH-BAG SLEDS AND SETTLING CATAN. Let’s not sugarcoat the obvious: Winter in Portland is something to escape. Sure, we don’t have those malevolent Chicago winds that pierce the thickest wool and carve out pieces of bone. Our snow drifts only on breezes, accompanied sooner or later by cleansing rain. But the clouds. Those goddamn clouds. Water and air reach an uneasy truce sometime in the middle of November, and eventually everything you see is fog and misting rain. The sky is damp and gray, the buildings damp and gray, the streets damp and gray. It totally wears you down. A Portland city winter is a war of slow attrition, and sooner or later everyone will succumb. So we say to you, in our inaugural Winter Guide: Escape! Escape maybe indoors, to a world of better mountain biking apart from the winter sludge (page 13), to ice-rink shuffleboard (page 14), or to fantasy board-game kingdoms (page 20). Because, yes, winter is also your chance to geek out without guilt: No one will say you’re better off outside.

Or escape instead to the pristine alternate world of the mountains, where winter exists as an actual thing: multiple feet of snow and ice preserved in the thin air. Summer sports are pointless. The sun is already so warm, the world already so interesting and inviting—this flower, that girl or boy, the peculiar quality of the light at 6 am—but in the winter, a 40-mph ski slope (page 15) fast approaching in dizzying snow-glare will remind you that you’re still very much alive. Or, heck, escape to your own youth: We sent a 6-foot man out on the mountain to test children’s sleds (page 19). There’s also an unintended theme to this Winter Guide: If there’s one thing Portlanders want to escape in the winter, it’s our own heads. Whether boarding, biking, curling or sledding, we all prefer to have a little brandy in our bellies or a cardamom-bittered toddy warming our cheeks (page 27). A little help, then, on your way out of Portland’s luke-cold blanket. Go to your own little happy place—or do one of the things we suggest any Portlander do if they want to consider themselves a Portlander (page 12)—and we’ll see you this spring, with our legs broken from heli-skiing (page 18). MATTHEW KORFHAGE. j Winter guide cont. on page 12

Willamette Week JANUARY 23, 2013 wweek.com

coNT.

j o h n f m a lta .c o m

WINTER

Defended your love of increasingly nerdy fantasy board games... And accepted the fact that by next winter you’ll be a full-blown dungeon master. Gone to see the Winterhawks play the Edmonton Oil Kings... And admitted to no one that you’d have a hard time pointing out Edmonton on a map. Finally learned how to use a slow cooker... You know, the one you bought at Fred Meyer for $20 back in June. Become the answer to that age-old question... “Who buys soup from a food cart?” Offered up your jacket... To the woman working at the Bikini Brew coffee cart.

IT’S NOT A pORTLAND WINTER UNTIL YOU’VE... 32 ways to distract yourself during the dark days to come.

Bought special bicycle gear for the work commute... And, a month later, put your special bicycle gear on Craigslist and spent the money on bus passes.

BY cASEY JARMAN

Only the strong survive Stumptown winters with all their marbles in the bag. Even those who claim to love the rainy season know that the gray, low-hanging clouds always transform from familiar friend to smothering blanket at one point or another. So what do we do to combat seasonal depression? Mostly, probably, we gripe about seasonal depression. But a Portland winter is a lily-livered, goose-fleshed rite of passage. If you’ve done all of these things, you will have truly understood the city in the grim months.

Started a band... Not because of creative ambition or musical ability, but because there’s nothing good left in your Netflix queue. Finally understood what that grunge thing was all about... And why Elliott Smith always sounded so bummed out. Lost track of which facial hair arrangements were ironic... Or bear-oriented, or indicative of seasonal depression.

Started watching local weathercasts... If only to see the local TV anchor’s relationship with the weatherman begin to break down on air.

Gotten sneered at for ordering a hot toddy... And later discovered that the hot toddy is actually just a gateway drug to hot booze.

Called someone out on Facebook for cursing the weather... Then cursed the weather on Facebook a month later.

Ordered the Great Balls of Fire at Salvador Molly’s... Just to feel something again.

Taken a trip to the beach to escape the drab Portland landscape... Only to discover that the coastal landscape is infinitely more drab this time of year.

Willamette Week JANUARY 23, 2013 wweek.com

Given in and bought those stupid SmartWool socks... That you always used to make fun of your college roommate for wearing.

Just not had the energy to say thanks to a bus driver... And spent the whole day feeling awful about it. Bought $20 worth of books at Powell’s... Mostly because you needed an excuse to duck out of a downpour. Begun instinctively turning your headlights on when you get in the car at noon... Safety first!

Steamed up the windows of Chopsticks II on Burnside... Preferably by doing a broke-ass version of karaoke “Happy Birthday” for the fifth time in one night. Realized you’ve watched almost every single Oscar-nominated movie... Except the ones that didn’t show up at beer theaters. Planned an epic snow hike in Portland’s annual snow day... Only to discover the powder turned to brown slush in the 20 minutes it took you to get all dressed up. Gotten in a slow-motion, single-car crash on Portland’s annual snow day... And blamed it on snowblindness. Broken down and bought an umbrella... And immediately left said umbrella on a MAX train.

Started noticing, and favoring, bars with fireplaces... Like Tonic Lounge, Rontoms, Doug Fir Lounge, Lucky Devil Lounge...

Told people over and over that “spring always starts really late in Oregon”... If only to convince yourself.

...And bars with heated patios... Like Plan B, EastBurn, Sassy’s...

Bought chains for your car... But never figured out how to put them on.

Headed east for some nice, relaxing cross-country skiing... Then realized a half mile in that you are woefully underprepared, both physically and mentally, for cross-country skiing.

Pieced together that the acronym for seasonal affective disorder is SAD... And gotten a little emotional about it.

Developed an acute case of midseason Blazermania... And maybe started referring to the team as “we,” only to revert back to “they” when the team inevitably fell out of playoff contention.

Weatherized your house... And, while you were at it, weatherized your chicken coop. Pulled over next to the Franz bread factory... Rolled down the window, took a few deep breaths, and drove away. j

photos by mike grippi

cont.

WIntER

playing video games; I want them out experiencing the world.” The scenes at the Lumberyard are decidedly mixed. Little kids barely off their training wheels roll around the easy track, marked green using the international system for ski runs, while guys in their 20s and 30s practice

“WE pREttY Much MAdE A vIdEo-GAME lEvEl of WhAt thE spAcE WAs GoInG to look lIkE.” — WIll hEIBERG

AIR poRtlAnd: A biker at the lumberyard.

THE NEAREST mouNTAiN OUR MOUNTAIN-BIKE SCENE SORTA SUCKS. THE LUMBERYARD HELPS. BY MARtIn cIZMAR

People move to Portland with high expectations for all things outdoors. Ask Will Heiberg. A decade ago, Heiberg, now 44, moved here from Washington, D.C., expecting the best of Western life. Mostly, it worked out. Except when it came to his hobby of mountain biking. “It’s got this amazing reputation for being a great bicycle city, but for recreation there are these huge holes,” he says. “People continually move here and they get on the bicycle message boards and they’re like, ‘I just got to Portland, where’s the great mountain biking?’ and it’s like, if you’re looking for mountain biking, better move somewhere else.” The problem, in short: Portland is too far from the closest Cascades trails that offer bikers a thrill. And most of the hilly parks we do have, like the trails that crisscross Forest Park, are closed to cyclists. “It takes an hour and change to get to what I’d call really good single track,” he says. “And in the winter it’s wet and it’s dark—you have to be pretty hardcore.” Heiberg made a solution: a 42,000square-foot indoor mountain-bike park built in a converted bowling alley on Northeast 82nd Avenue. The park is called the Lumberyard, and it features jumps, pump tracks, a half-pipe and winding single-track trails that mimic what trail riders see out in the wild. On a rainy Sunday, the Lumberyard is pumping, hopping and

spinning with riders, some of whom would probably be home playing video games, or watching the football game currently occupying a few scattered parents sitting in the Lumberyard’s bar area. Like so many inspired ideas, it came from Cleveland. That’s where Ray’s MTB Indoor Park opened in 2004. Having read about the then-novel indoor park, which has since inspired a half-dozen imitators across the continent, Heiberg flew out to ride the place himself. “It’s an old warehouse next to a housing development that doesn’t look like it’s doing too well, which is a lot of housing developments in Cleveland,” he says. “I went there for the weekend, and on the way back I thought, ‘I have to do this in Portland.’” It took Heiberg, who wears a graying beard, glasses and a Lumberyard-branded flannel shirt, some time to put the pieces in place. In the meantime, he got more involved in the local mountain-bike scene, advocating for the new pump track in East Portland, and continued working at Liquid Development, a local company that worked on video games like Guitar Hero and Rock Band. Eventually, he found the right space and used his video-game design skills to create a three-dimensional map of the space he hoped to open there. “We pretty much made a video-game level of what the space was going to look like,” Heiberg says. “So we got the most out of it.” The Lumberyard’s rental bikes have big, knobby tires with no gears, a back brake and a seat that’s not made for sitting. “It’s a very simple tool. It’s a big version of a kid’s

BMX bike,” Heiberg says. “But it’s what you need to practice your skills. And you can do the same thing over and over until you get it right without having to get off and hike back up the hill and try the trick again.” So far, the Lumberyard has been embraced warmly by the Pacific Northwest mountain-bike scene, regularly seeing riders stop by from as far away as Vancouver, B.C., and winning over parents who want to get their kids out of skate parks, which can sometimes draw a tougher crowd. “As a parent, I don’t like to go someplace where I have to explain, ‘No, those aren’t words we use,’ and ‘No, those are not cigarettes they’re smoking,’” Heiberg says. “As a kid, my BMX bike was my ticket to freedom—we’d go out and do what we wanted to do,” he says. “I don’t really want my kids sitting on the couch all the time

spins on the blue course and master the art of rolling around the 60-degree turn that’s part of one track without having to pedal. In the basement, guys who look like they were old enough to have bought the first Beastie Boys album on vinyl, roll slowly around practicing balancing tricks accompanied by a soundtrack of ’80s music. In addition to hardcore riders getting their fix in a warm, dry space, Heiberg also sees a lot of newbies not ready to commit to an expensive bike rental and a long drive out to the sticks. “For the price of a rental at a bike shop, you can get a whole day here and not have to worry about anything,” Heiberg says. “It’s very easy to dip your foot into the pool—it’s a zero-entry pool.” In addition to those advantages—and the gear and repair shop that will assure no day is wasted by minor mechanical malfunction—there’s also a tavern with pizza, smoked brisket, burgers and local craft beer on tap. Says Heiberg: “Not a lot of trailheads have a bar right there.” j Go: The Lumberyard, 2700 NE 82nd Ave., 2522453, lumberyardmtb.com. $24.95 on weekdays, $29.95 on weekends. Rental bikes are $10.

WiNTER GuiDE cont. on page 14

Willamette Week JANUARY 23, 2013 wweek.com

CONT.

J O H N F M A LTA .C O M

WINTER

STONE COLD A WW CORRESPONDENT LEARNS TO KEEP HER BEER OFF THE CURLING RINK. BY R E B E C C A JAC O B S O N

The Evergreen Curling Club posts three rules by the rink. First, shake hands. Second, if you win, clean the ice. And third, winners buy the first round of drinks. That final rule pretty well encapsulates the spirit of Oregon’s only curling club, which is not quite a drinking team with a curling problem but sometimes comes close. Evergreen has members who curl several times a week, but camaraderie trumps competition, and there’s always reason for a drink. “We have some non-drinking curlers,” says Craig Webster, a curler of nine years. “They’re still fun to hang out with,” adds

Joe Petsche, a 32-year-old software programmer who joined the club five years ago. For anyone who’s missed the Winter Olympics recently, curling is the shuffleboard-like sport in which players slide heavy granite stones across a sheet of ice toward a target area. Two sweepers, armed with brooms, polish the ice to affect the stone’s course. Curlers are quick to point out that no one wears skates, and that it’s a mixedgender sport for all ages. Members range in age from 11 to 80, and of Evergreen’s 110 members, about 30 percent are women. Evergreen women’s and men’s teams are both headed to club nationals in March. In early December, the Evergreen club opened a devoted curling facility in Beaverton, quickly securing a limited liquor license (the fridge is stacked with bottles of Widmer and Ninkasi). Prior to that, curling twice a week at the Lloyd Center Ice Rink, the

members imbibed with greater secrecy. “At Lloyd Center, you were not allowed to have alcoholic beverages,” says Steve Talley, 73. Petsche interjects, “This has to be off the record!” But Webster brushes Petsche aside. “You brought in some beer,” he says. “But it was not something that was openly consumed.” “We were in the dark,” Petsche says. “The mall was closed. And we were very responsible about packing it out. We weren’t going to leave any glass bottles behind.” Members say their drinking habits are in line with those of curlers around the world, and they don’t bring alcohol on the ice. Arnie Iwanick did nonetheless show off a broom he bought in Scotland in 1981. The handle twists open to reveal an empty, metal-lined shaft—perfect for filling with four shots of alcohol. “You put in no less than 25-year-old Scotch,” Iwanick says. Based on the clean smell, though—Iwanick lets me sniff— he abides by the no-alcohol-on-theice rule. On the ice, Evergreen curlers take their sport seriously but with mercifully little sense of self-importance. These are players, after all, who attend costumed tournaments—Petsche recalls a ’60s-themed match in Seattle where curlers wore Afro wigs, short shorts and capes. In 2007, the Evergreen club held a re-enactment of an 1847 curling match at Fort Vancouver, where competitors donned top hats, kilts and military jackets with epaulets. When I visited the Evergreen club to take a curling lesson ($20) in December, members wore more subdued athletic attire. But the act itself looked just as silly as it does on Olympic broadcasts, and with just as much yelling. The sport recalls bowling, except that curlers stretch into yogalike stances (think half-pigeon pose) as they release the 42-pound granite stone. I regretted not wearing stretchier pants. But Petsche and Eric Toews, who together instructed the 20-odd group of wannabe curlers, stressed the sport’s everyman accessibility. They were right; the mechanics are a little awkward at first, but it turns out that heaving a massive

rock across a sheet of ice is easier (and more satisfying) than whacking a dimpled orb into a miniscule hole or swinging at a little stitched ball. I reared up in the starting hacks, placing my left foot on a shoeshaped piece of Teflon. This would help me slide across the ice, Petsche said. It would

“YOU HAVE TO HAVE A CERTAIN NERD FACTOR TO GET INTO CURLING.” — JOE PETSCHE

also, I learned, make the already slick ice feel diabolical. I stayed mostly upright. The sweeping motion was easier, and the over-the-sole ice grippers helped keep me vertical. But I quickly learned the point was not to sweep as zealously as possible, but rather to pay attention to the speed and direction of the stone and then make a judgment call on how best to guide the stone into position. Petsche explained the finer points of the stone’s velocity and arc, noting that it should make two full rotations on its journey across the ice. He talked about friction and drag and other things I never studied in school. “You have to have a certain nerd factor to get into curling,” he added. Scientific calculations aside, curling is a social sport, and the Evergreen club excels at this part of the game. Talley, Webster and Petsche explain the practice of broomstacking, which is like a timeout, except with alcohol: During a match, all curlers pile their brooms at one end of the ice and exit the rink for a drink. “What typically happens is the team that’s behind is trying to break the momentum of the team that’s ahead,” Webster says. “You’re not just trying to get them drunk?” I ask. He nods and chuckles. “Well, there’s a little of that too.” j GO: The Evergreen Curling Club is at 10950 SW 5th St., Suite 155, Beaverton. evergreencurling.com.

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cont. Skibowl remains endlessly accommodating, providing wide varieties of terrain; day and night skiing; and backwoods solitude along the slowly drifting Skyline or plummeting Outback trails. Its low elevation, however—between 3,000 and 4,500 feet— can lead to some icy refreezing and a shortened season. The cost: All-day tickets are $69, but the budget-conscious buy the $32 night tickets or $49 “shift tickets.” Best feature: Did we mention the Warming Station serves beer midslope? It does. MATTHEW KORFHAGE.

bEER hERE: Skibowl’s Warming Station.

powder up six ski sites down, one across. Timberline The scene: Timberline (timberlinelodge. com) sits high on glaciated Mount Hood, offering stunning views and year-round skiing on its upper section. Summer is the busiest time here, as nearby Meadows offers twice as many runs and one-third more skiable terrain, but the historic lodge and laid-back vibe attract a dedicated following. Magic Mile, the longest ski lift in the world when it was built in 1938, has been replaced by a high-speed quad that starts at the treeline and drops off riders just below the Palmer lift, which takes you up to the resort’s mildly sloping but extremely gusty peak. In winter, enjoy the warmer wooded sections toward the bottom, which melt to slush by April. The cost: Adult lift tickets are $60 on weekdays, $66 on weekends and holidays. Best feature: Elevation and direction assure that it never, ever closes. You won’t find a better vibe anywhere—on a nice day, look for riders to hang out with and enjoy a beer. MARTIN CIZMAR.

mT. Hood meadows The scene: Though it doesn’t reach Timberline’s heights, Meadows (skihood.com) is the nouveau-riche big daddy on the Mount Hood slopes, with 11 lifts and over 2,000 acres of skiable area. It’s also the site favored most by high-speed cannonballers and super Xtreme snowboarders, with savage expert-only runs accessible only through controlled gates, along other readily accessible high-speed runs and suicideworthy terrain features. The volume of shredders and racers seems to create problems for park maintenance, however, and more intermediate skiers might do well to favor Skibowl or Timberline. The cost: $89 in peak season, with $30 night skiing in a severely limited area. Best feature: Like to go fast? You can go fast here. MATTHEW KORFHAGE. skibowl The scene: Skibowl (skibowl.com) is the nearest to Portland of any snow site—and so the natural province of the cherry pickers of the world, the teenagers and party drunks warming their cockles at the Bierstube and the midslope Warming Station. Despite being half the size of Meadows,

summiT & snow bunny The scene: Skiing on training wheels and tubes for tots. Not a knock: these two things are terribly necessary. The people running Summit (summitskiarea.com) know their crowd is more family-oriented than at many sites, and thus separate various tubing and skiing areas for different age brackets, from toddlers to teens to the “adult tubing” area, which, given the name, should involve much more polarbear nudity than it ever does. The cost: Lift tickets are $35. Tubing at Snow Bunny is $20 adults, $10 kids. Best feature: Snow Bunny remains the best tubing spot on the mountain, despite Skibowl’s cosmic-psychedelic night-time hoo-hah. MATTHEW KORFHAGE. Cooper spur The scene: Cooper Spur (cooperspur. com) is a wee resort in the eastern foothills of Mount Hood. There’s only one two-person chairlift carrying you up 350 feet (onetenth of Timberline’s vertical rise), but the runs are well-groomed and uncrowded. If you’re with a beginning skier, go here. The tiny lodge—you don’t even lock up your shoes—and gentle slopes offer a friendly welcome to the sport. An average skier could cover all the terrain in less than an hour, and the lone black diamond is basically a narrower version of the blue run next to it, but it offers more diversity than its western slope competitor, Summit. The cost: A modest $28. And Cooper Spur’s rentals are only $18, which is cheap-

WIntER

er than you’ll pay off-site most places. Best feature: A decent variety of terrain in a small area; cheap lift tickets and rentals that make it a great place to learn. MARTIN CIZMAR. mT. baCHelor The scene: Mt. Bachelor resort (mtbachelor.com) is east of the Cascades, meaning it gets comparatively dry, fluffy powder. It’s also huge—Oregon’s largest resort and the sixth largest in the country. Even with a whole weekend on the seven high-speed quad lifts, you’re unlikely to make it down every run. Bachelor also has plentiful resort housing in the area, which can make it feel a little like a giant time-share village full of well-heeled accountants. They’re joined by snowboarders keen to try America’s best superpipe and three massive terrain parks. The cost: Lift tickets are $76 a day or $125 for two days if you buy in advance. Best feature: Light, fluffy powder that’s very rare on the wet side of the Cascades, and the state’s largest and most diverse terrain. MARTIN CIZMAR. TeaCup lake The scene: Teacup (teacupnordic.org) is adorable. I’m not talking about the tiny eponymous lake, or about the 20 kilometers of regularly groomed, tightly winding trails. I’m talking about all the pint-sized snow bunnies you’re likely to encounter while cross-country skiing this system of trails in the Mount Hood National Forest. Teacup Lake is a prime family destination, with plenty of flat trails and a cozy warming cabin. But in addition to the classic tracks, most of the trails have central skating lanes for swift, Lycra-clad demons, and there are a handful of heart-pounding (it’s all relative) hills. The setting is bucolic, the views are spectacular and the freshly fallen powder muffles the voices of all those children. The cost: $10 suggested donation. Best feature: Wahoo Gulch might be the steepest hill, but Screamer Hill—at 1.2 kilometers—is the longest, allowing for some real speed. REBECCA JACOBSON. j winTer Guide cont. on page 17

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morgan green-hopkins

cont.

WIntER 7

3 6

12 8

winter toolkit 12 COLD COMFORTS FROM LOCAL MAKERS. 1. Billy Goat soft-snow skis By ON3P, on3pskis.com. Hand-ground with bamboo core. $799 at Next Adventure, 426 SE Grand Ave., 233-0706, nextdventure.net. 2. salvatore sanchez snowBoard By Salomon Snowboard, salomonsnowboard.com. Aspen core, extruded base. $329.95 at U.S. Outdoor Store, 219 SW Broadway, 223-5937, usoutdoor.com.

3. terry GoGGles By Airblaster, myairblaster.com. $89.99 at Exit Real World, 206 NW 23rd Ave., 226-3948, exitrealworld.com. 4. Pendleton PilGrim women’s jacket By Bonfire Snowboarding, bonfiresnowboarding.com, and Pendleton Woolen Mills, pendleton.com. $399.95 at Tactics Board Shop, tactics.com. 5. fraGment men’s snow Gloves By Grenade Gloves. Suede palm, waterproof insert. $54.95 at grenadegloves.com.

6. 30z ski Pack By CiloGear, cilogear.com. Lightweight, custom-made. $189 at CiloGear (workshop), 6635 N Baltimore Ave., No. 235, 305-3858 7. cluB visiBle Bike Pants By Showers Pass, showerspass.com. Waterproof. Reflective stripe. $149.99 at Bike Gallery, 1001 SW 10th Ave., 222-3821, bikegallery.com. 8. ski+ Gradient socks By Icebreaker, icebreaker.com. Merino “smart wool.” $24 at Icebreaker Touch Lab, 1109 W Burnside, 241-8300. 9. form minimalist runninG shoes By Skora, skorarunning.com. Quick drying. $185 at Fit Right NW, 2258 NW Raleigh St., 525-2122, fit-right-nw.com.

10. laken women’s Boots By Keen, keenfootwear.com. Waterproof. $190 at Keen Garage, 505 NW 13th Ave., 971-200-4040. 11. medium rear Bicycle Panniers By Black Star Bags, blackstarbags.wordpress.com. Waterproof, vinyl exterior, Cordura shell liner. $140 each, $240 pair at Black Star Bags, 2033 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 284-4752. 12. anvil hooded shell By Homeschool Snowboarding, homeschoolsnowboarding.com. Waterproof, wind-resistant. $389.95 at U.S. Outdoor Store, 219 SW Broadway, 223-5937, usoutdoor.com. j winter Guide cont. on page 18 Willamette Week JANUARY 23, 2013 wweek.com

CONT.

j o h n f m a lta .c o m

WINTER

HeLi-skiing What it is: You hire a helicopter pilot— who works through a tourism company—to load your ass into a chopper, fly you as high on the mountain as (semi-)safely as possible, and let you loose on powder purer than anything Tony Montana dreamed of. The cost: Depending on the package you’re looking at, somewhere between $900 a day and $4,000-$9,000 a week. Which is to say, about one to nine season passes to Meadows. But extreme! The logistics: No Oregon companies are currently doing it (at least on paper), but there are tons of companies in B.C., Idaho, Alaska, and in Washington’s North Cascades (basically B.C.), where demand is so high, you’ve got at least a 90-day wait for a trip. Likelihood of death: Low. These dudes are pros, and aren’t going to send you up into avalanche country willy-nilly—but if you’ve seen Alive, you might get a little skittish. Also, nobody expects the avalanche until it comes. They’re spooky like that.

Lift Off

Nordic gods use a rope tow to ascend the Scandes? Did Sir Edmund Hillary sit on a posh ski lift to get to the top of Everest? (Of course not—he sat on Sherpas.) But fret not! While all the other North Face-clad yuppies are acting like chumps (taking the ski lift and enjoying a relaxing day of multiple runs down Bachelor or Hood, near warming lodges full of cider and attractive members of the American middle class), you can prove your warrior status by using one of these methods—ranging from fairly safe to utterly fucking stupid—to avoid the masses and make things generally difficult for yourself. Your extreme self, that is.

How to ski witHout tHose pesky lifts. BY A P K RYZ A

No matter how black the diamond, no matter how radical the route, most skiers are total uphill pussies who, were it not for the marvels of technology, wouldn’t even be able to summit a bunny hill, let alone shred a gnar of any sort. Think about it: Did the

WINTER STYLES

snOwcat skiing What it is: Part tank, part snowplow and 100 percent badass, the snowcat’s an ATVtype vehicle designed to get you through the backcountry without all the hassle of snowshoes. Message boards are littered with skiers and hikers calling ’cat users lazy. Just run their sweaty asses over en route to some amazing backcountry action. You can also take it to the top of the lifts, looking like a postapocalyptic pimp in your ride. The cost: $100-$500, depending on how long you want it, the number of people in it and where you’re going. The logistics: It’s fairly easy to score a snowcat: A quick Web search shows many locals who rent them out independently. You can even rent one from Timberline Lodge or book a backcountry tour with one of the dozens of tourism companies planted around all the major ski areas. Likelihood of death: You should be pretty safe and cozy in the snowcat…unless you’re the warmhearted, psychic former chef at Timberline, with whom the caretaker apparently has an ax to grind.

Kenneth Cole

Ray Ban

snOwsHOeing What it is: Though it’s generally more of a backcountry practice, it’s still fun to imagine trekking up a slope, flipping off the skiers passing on the lifts overhead as you stubbornly trudge up a mountain for hours when you could be up there in a matter of minutes were you not such a cheapskate. The cost: Cheap as hell. Nearly every outdoor shop in Portland rents these webbed wonders. Prices are as low as $10 for two nights (trekking poles and waterproof boot covers are extra, as are Sherpas). The logistics: It couldn’t be more simple. You just strap your snowshoes on, load your skis on your back and start walking. Of course, it’s going to take a hell of a long time to get where you’re going, but at least you’re going as analog as possible. Likelihood of death: Very, very low, unless you decide to become a statistic by trudging into the vast wilderness alone without telling anyone where you’re going during a bad storm. Which is, as it goes, a sadly seasonal occurrence round these parts. j

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snOwmObiLe skiing What it is: Not so much the arctic equivalent of water-skiing (which we’re not condoning, but totally are because it sounds amazing), renting a snowmobile’s easier than renting a car—just a hell of a lot more expensive. The cost: As low as $140 for five hours, and as high as $1,200 for a day—which is about one-twelfth the cost of actually owning a high-end one. But hey, it’s a demand-based market, and stupid people sometimes demand to be ripped off. The logistics: It’s insanely simple, really: Score a ’mobile, load up your gear and get ready to scare the shit out of every living being in the forest as you loudly climb hills in what looks like a jet ski from a terrifying future. Or take it to Timberline, climb the hill and see how long it takes you to turn your fun day on the mountain into a frigid high-speed chase with the cops. Likelihood of death: Snowmobilers aren’t exactly known for their careful demeanor and commitment to lucid recreation, but if you use your head you should be fine.

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cont. Saucer Sled (“Flying Saucer,” Flexible Flyer, $10.99) The ride: A disc shaped like a dinner plate, the saucer sled is a memorable throwback to the sledding of yesteryear. It was modeled after the trash-can lids used by countless improvisational sledders in the past. The saucer carves shallow, half-moon tracks through the snow, crafting paths also usable by other types of sleds. The design also allows the sledder to stay on without holding on to grips. The hands are free to be used as an e-brake. Maneuverability: 8/10 Speed: 5/10

SlIppery Slope A BrAndy-Fueled TeST Slide on The newFAngled SledS. BY JoHn LocAntHI

As a young lad coming of age in my Fortress of Solitude on the steep slopes of Cooper Mountain, there was no thrill greater than snowfall. The streets and the hilly local vacant lot were instantly transformed into a sledding range. Days and nights were spent crafting the perfect tracks down the hill. The snowplow-deficient Beaverton city government let us squeeze every minute of enjoyment out of

the short-lived snow. The casual sport of sledding has changed since those days. Cheap, plastic saucer sleds are still easily available, as are the two-person canoes. But so are “inner tubes” that have no distinguishable tubes. There are rolled-up plastic “carpet sleds” in lieu of toboggans. Flat foam pads with grips galore. Not even sporting goods stores commonly offer oldfashioned sleds with metal runners. So just how did these nu-sleds compare with the plastic saucers of my youth? I went to Mount Hood with whatever I could find at the local Fred Meyer: a saucer, a spade-shaped inner tube, a carpet sled, a flat foam generi-sled, a garbage bag and a flask of brandy. These were the results.

Inner-Tube Sled (“Big Air,” Flexible Flyer, $21.99) The ride: This is not your daddy’s inner tube, son. It’s an inflatable, spade-shaped device of massive speed. The speed might be due to the running start that the sled encourages—the inflated padding softens the blow as one leaps onto it—but it also seems to glide effortlessly over powder. The tracks left behind are not conducive to other sleds, not that this one needs to go on any pre-existing track. There are two drawbacks, however: (1) You must have both hands on the grips at all times to stay on and (2) snow gets in your knickers if you wear a short jacket. Maneuverability: 3/10 Speed: 9/10 Foam Sled (“Snow Skimmer,” Flexible Flyer, $6.99) The ride: Bearing a similar shape to the aforementioned tube, this sled nearly matched its speed. Indeed, it bears nearly the same strengths and weaknesses of the tube sled at a fraction of the price. The most significant difference lies in the lack of cushioning. Running starts are a bit harder on the sternum with this ride, which made my flask of brandy very important to the process. The flat bottom works best on existing sled tracks. Maneuverability: 3/10 Speed: 7/10

WIntER

GarbaGe baG (Fred Meyer, about 25 cents) The ride: The garbage bag, the everyman’s skid, was first employed on a longago snowy day when an ill-prepared, foul-mouthed child said, “Fuck it, I wanna speed down this hill.” All that’s required is a standard-issue plastic garbage bag. (Note: Be shorter than 6 feet tall, please.) Step inside the bag, lie down and pull the bag up around you—any exposed clothing is going to slow you down. A pre-existing track is required, especially since a running start is nigh on impossible. The whole thing almost functions, but in reality garbage bags should be employed only in lastresort or drunken-bet situations. Booze will increase the comfort of the ride. Being an actual child also helps, if you’re not drunk. WW nonetheless does not recommend that small children or drunk people play inside of plastic bags. Maneuverability: 3/10 Speed: 1/10 carpeT Sled (“Flying Carpet,” Flexible Flyer, $5.99) The ride: This was the most baffling new sled I encountered. While it rolls up into a wonderfully compact and portable shape, it doesn’t unroll quite as easily. The Herculean feat of keeping the sled unrolled long enough to mount it killed any chance at starting a hill run with any forward momentum. My efforts on the sled left the tracks of a frustrated tall man trying to sled down a hill on an uncomfortable, narrow strip of plastic. Making turns was out of the question, as any change of direction ended with me falling off the slow-moving sled. Maneuverability: 1/10 Speed: 1/10 j

overall WInner, and STIll champIon: The old-fashioned saucer sled.

WInTer GuIde cont. on page 20

Willamette Week JANUARY 23, 2013 wweek.com

World Affairs Council of Oregon

2013 INTERNATIONAL SPEAKER SERIES

Your global citizens guide to the ideas, issues & people that are changing the world

PHOTOS BY MORGAN GREEN-HOPKINS

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WINTER

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Tuesday, January 29, 9pm. Breeeowr!!! F*ckenwaaah!!! FREE! Teams compete by trying to name classic rock and punk songs based on snippets of guitar solos. The two high scoring teams go head-to-head, and the champion team sends one member up against the clock for a chance to win $50 by naming 7 songs in 45 seconds. No pre-registration needed. Just grab up to four of yr friends and show up.

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NEU-WAVE BOARDS TABLETOP GAMES FOR THE SNOWBOUND BY JORDAN GREEN

If you spent the last few decades skiing, you may have missed the analog-game renaissance. Led by efficient and humorless German visionaries like Reiner Knizia and Klaus Teuber, board games are more engaging and accessible than ever. Hell, half of ’em you can play on your phone. Still, nothing beats hanging around a table, destroying your friends’ self-confidence and drinking a lot. Here’s a rundown of a few games to keep you occupied (by Germans) this winter. All are findable at Cloud Cap Games (1226 SE Lexington St., 505-9344, cloudcapgames.com). TICKET TO RIDE (Days of Wonder, $50) Players: 2-5 Play time: 45 minutes Learning curve: Easy The premise: CHOO CHOO!!! It’s about building railroad routes across the country and trying to forget the tens of thousands of Chinese laborers you’re crushing underfoot. The play: Players use cards to claim color-coded routes across the United States and Canada. You can build a route between Montreal and Portland and call it the Hipster Express, and then someone can make a joke about the South being racist. Take that, the South! How you win: Earn points by completing ticketed routes or by having the longest continuous track. Is there an app for that? Yes, with multiplayer! Geek factor (1-10): 1. Between the short play time and traditional structure, anyone can play. THE SETTLERS OF CATAN (Kosmos, $42) Players: 3-6 Play time: 90 minutes Learning curve: Easy The premise: An oddly hexagonal island must be stripped of resources and settled by competing clans. Build roads and towns and develop new technologies until all natural life is swept aside in the name of “progress.” The play: Extremely compelling. Catan is probably the most widely loved of the German-style board games, if not of all time. Its size is manageable, and a wealth of expansion packs (Seafarers, Cities, Knights) can add layers to the game’s strategic complexity. How you win: Reach a pre-determined point total by building towns, cities and roads. Is there an app for that? Yes, but there’s no online multiplayer. Geek factor (1-10): 2. Even novices love Catan.

Willamette Week JANUARY 23, 2013 wweek.com

LOST CITIES (Rio Grande Games, $25) Players: 2 Play time: 30 minutes Learning curve: Easy The premise: You know those archeological expeditions you hear about? That shit doesn’t happen magically. Lost Cities recreates the fundraising process with cards. The play: Players try to use color-coded investor cards and numbered cards (in increasing order) to earn profits. How you win: Have the highest balance when the last card is drawn. Is there an app for that? Yes, with multiplayer! Geek factor (1-10): 3. While some strategy and mathematical analysis is involved, luck factors heavily. TWILIGHT STRUGGLE (GMT Games, $60) Players: 2 Play time: 3 hours Learning curve: Moderate The premise: No, not that Twilight. The Cold War one. Who wouldn’t want to simulate those halcyon days when a few questionable decisions could lead to total annihilation? The play: Players representing the United States or USSR wrestle for global supremacy from 1945 through the late ’80s. The board (a map of the world) reflects spheres of influence, while action is dictated by dice rolls and historical event cards. How you win: Reach 20 victory points, have the Victory Point Marker in your favor at the end of 10 turns or maintain full control of Europe—which, good luck with that. Is there an app for that? No. Geek factor (1-10): 7. With a moderate difficulty and hefty play time, Twilight Struggle definitely isn’t Sorry. It’s also the highest-rated game on BoardGameGeek.com, so there’s that.

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A GAME OF THRONES: THE BOARD GAME (Fantasy Flight Games, $60) Players: 3-6 Play time: 3-4 hours Learning curve: Fairly steep. While intuitive, there’s a lot to understand. The premise: If you’ve read the books or watched the HBO series, you’ll get the machinations behind the game. You are one of six house lords in a continent mired in war, and you’re vying for ultimate supremacy. The play: It’s so great. No luck, no dice rolls, just your wits. Gameplay depends on convincing your opponents to jack each other up, weakening them just enough so you can stab them in the back. WARNING: The game’s inherent treachery can lead to damaged friendships. Sound great? It is. How you win: Be the best in the room at politics and manipulation. Is there an app for that? No, damn it. Geek factor (1-10): 9; 10 if you decide to role-play the house lords. j

Willamette Week JANUARY 23, 2013 wweek.com

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FOOD: Portland’s best hot toddies. MUSIC: There’s always money in the Banana Stand. STAGE: Promising sprouts in Fertile Ground. MOVIES: Love be not young in Amour.

27 33 41 47

SCOOP MIKE GrIPPI

NEANDERTHAL BABY NAMES (AND OTHER GOSSIP). mcmovies: Dueling biopics are in the works for Portland newcomer John McAfee. Canadian production company Impact Future Media, which owns the rights to the life story of the software millionaire wanted for questioning in a Belizean murder case, has partnered with Equinoxe Films to produce a film with a budget of $28 million. The Canadian film is tentatively mcafee titled Running in the Background and will chart McAfee’s life from childhood to, hopefully, his first lap dance in Portland. A press release promises the film will “[reveal] unanswered questions and intimate secrets.” Brian Fitzgerald of Impact Future Media tells WW that the screenwriter, director and actors are still being negotiated. Meanwhile, Warner Bros. is adapting a Wired article about McAfee into another feature film, with Sacha Baron Cohen slated for the lead role.

future eating: Killer Burger has applied for a full liquor license for its new Southwesternthemed Hatch Restaurant (500 SW 3rd Ave.), at the southern edge of the Old Town bar district. Meanwhile, El Cubo de Cuba announced Jan. 19 that it will follow a long line of food carts into the brick-and-mortar world, with a prime locakiller Burger tion slated at 3106 SE Hawthorne Blvd., where a Taco Del Mar once stood. BYe-BYe Boom-BaP: Portland’s minors are taking another hit: Boom Bap!, the Southeast Portland makeshift all-ages music venue and art space, is shutting down at the end of the month. The club—which is actually more of a garage—played host to numerous experimental bands, avant-garde visual artists and comedians. Its final announced show is Jan. 25, and will feature sets from moody synth outfit Acre, minimal electro-dance project Apartment Fox and loop artists Cloaks. The Facebook event invitation implores attendees to “bring beer and presents for the boom bap people.” high Bar: Where do Portland’s beer bars stack up nationally? Draft magazine’s list of the top 100 came out last week, and Portland has five—Apex, Bailey’s Taproom, Belmont Station, Horse Brass and Saraveza—tying it with San Diego and Los Angeles. Chicago paced the field with seven picks. In related news, has anyone from Draft magazine been to BeerMongers? 24

Willamette Week JANUARY 23, 2013 wweek.com

J E S S I C A S TA M B A C H

suki, suki now: Popular Portland State University neighborhood karaoke venue Suki’s Bar and Grill is getting slapped with a lawsuit by the notoriously litigation-happy karaoke production company Slep-Tone, which alleges that Suki’s used pirated copies of that company’s materials. Nine other small Oregon bars are also named in the suit, with total damages of $10 million sought. We’ve got more details at wweek.com.

HEADOUT AmY mARTiN

WILLAMETTE WEEK

What to do this Week in arts & culture

WEDNESDAY JAN. 23 OregOn Wild at rOntOms [NATURE] Uncage the Soul, a video production company run by Oregon Public Broadcasting contributors, is a master of time-lapse nature photography. The photographers sit for hours freezing their asses off all over Oregon so you don’t have to. The least you can do is sit and listen to their presentation. Beer is available to speed things up. Rontoms, 600 E Burnside St., 283-6343, ext. 223. 6:30 pm. Free. tOmmy emmanuel [mUSic] Australia’s finest guitarist is not Angus Young. Though not quite a household name, for some 40-odd years now, Emmanuel has been wowing Guitar centre clerks with his effortlessly dextrous fingerpicking style. Newmark Theatre, 1111 SW Broadway, 248-4335. 8 pm. $37-$53. All ages. big business, rabbits [mUSic] These two punk-metal titans playing in a venue this size—which now reportedly boasts a muchimproved sound system since the renovation of former dive Plan B—is a powerful, tinnitus-inducing one-two punch. White Owl Social Club, 1305 SE 8th Ave., 236-9672. 8 pm. $20. 21+.

FRIDAY JAN. 25 the internatiOnal Cat assOCiatiOn Cat shOW [cATS] The world’s largest registry of pedigreed cats doesn’t only host a contest of which pussy has the bushiest tail. Humans will also face off in Scooper Bowl ii, a litterscooping-skills assessment. Vendors in the meow-mart will hawk fantasy cat photos and natural pet food. Holiday Inn at Portland Airport, 8439 NE Columbia Blvd., 366-3490. 4-9 pm Friday, 9 am-5 pm SaturdaySunday. $5.

America is more tolerant than it used to be. Case in point: Aesop Rock. These days, he packs clubs with his dense, cerebral rhymes—at least when he’s not canceling shows because of broken ribs. Not long ago, that sentence would’ve read as a joke. Hip-hop is one area of culture in this country where being white is a disadvantage. Things, however, are changing. Obviously, superstars like the Beastie Boys and Eminem helped break the saltine ceiling. To understand success, one must understand failure. Retroactive laughing stocks like Vanilla Ice and Snow don’t count: However bad you may think they were, those guys made millions. On Wednesday, Jan. 23, Walidah Imarisha, adjunct professor at Portland State University, will discuss at the North Portland Library the evolution of hiphop. Here are five moments she won’t be talking about. MATTHEW SINGER. sonic Youth’s “Master-dik” (1987)

Back in the primordial days of hip-hop, when the music was loud, minimalist and practically avant-garde, caucasian coolsters wanted to get in on the action but were unsure how to approach the form. Sonic Youth, ever the visionary, dove in guitars-first in 1987 with “master-dik,” a song from an EP of the same name (later appended to the cd release of Sister), featuring a thudding drum machine, a KiSS sample and Thurston moore “freestyling” like an awkward drunk dude who wandered into a house-party cipher.

Brian austin Green’s One Stop Carnival (1996)

White privilege jumped the shark the moment an exec at mcA said, “Let’s make the kid who plays the second-least important character on Beverly Hills, 90210 a rap star!” Over rejected Pharcyde beats from Tre “Slimkid3” Hardson, the future mr. megan Fox spits with zero self-awareness on songs like “da drama,” “mind and da Body” and “didn’t Have a clue,” which he delivers with no discernible irony.

eminem’s Infinite (1996)

in 1996, marshall mathers was less Slim Shady than B-Rabbit, the fictionalized, pre-fame version of himself he played in 8 mile. Lucky for him, he got more than one chance to blow, because on his first attempt—which he now dismisses as a glorified demo tape—he just kind of blew. Em had lyrics even back then—though he was more likely to rap about finding God than killing his baby mama— but little personality and certainly no beats by dre.

Mc Paul Barman (2000)

Single-handedly setting the plight of pigmentdeprived mcs back to the pre-Beasties Stone Age, this scrawny, moptopped ivy Leaguer somehow conned Prince Paul into making beats for him, lending credibility to a shtick that otherwise wouldn’t have left his Brown University dorm room. it’s not that Barman couldn’t string a rhyme together, it’s that he dropped lines like “he backlashed my booty like Susan Faludi” in the voice every comic View comedian uses to impersonate white guys, except that’s how he actually sounded.

The (White) Rapper Show (2007)

Hosted by mc Serch of 3rd Bass, this singleseason VH1 competition professed to be searching for rap’s next great white hype, but what it actually did was satirize rap stereotypes. its lasting legacy is briefly gifting the world John Brown, one of reality television’s all-time greatest trolls, who crowned himself “King of da Burbz” and branded a catchphrase (“Hallelujah hollaback!”) before losing in the finals to an ice-grilled, barely-on-beat Southerner named $hamrock.

see it: Walidah imarisha presents Break it down: Exploring Hip Hop’s musical and cultural Odyssey at the North Portland Library, 512 N Killingsworth St., on Wednesday, Jan. 23. 6 pm. Free.

e-40 [mUSic] A sugar-tongued gangster with a flair for the dramatic, this Bay Area hip-hop legend raps as if his salivary glands produce maple syrup. The key to his longevity is a willingness to always be different. Roseland Theater, 8 NW 6th Ave., 230-0033. 8 p.m. $25. All ages.

SATURDAY JAN. 26 the liberatOrs [cOmEdY] Local improv artists who know what the hell they’re doing perform for the first time in months. Ethos/IFCC, 5340 N Interstate Ave. 283-8467, ext. 108. 8 pm. $12-$16.

MONDAY JAN. 28 “CelilO Falls revisited” [HiSTORY] For centuries, the largest waterfall on the columbia River was a vital and sacred salmon fishery for Native Americans. Then, in 1957, it was flooded by the dalles dam. Historian Thomas Robinson shares rare photos and film clips. Kennedy School, 5736 NE 33rd Ave., 2493983. 7 pm. Free.

Willamette Week JANUARY 23, 2013 wweek.com

FOOD & DRINK Not just any salmon...

Alaska Copper River! Through the winter.

REVIEW R A N A N I CO L E YO U N G

= WW Pick. Highly recommended. By MITCH LILLIE. PRICES: $: Most entrees under $10. $$: $10-$20. $$$: $20-$30. $$$$: Above $30. Editor: MARTIN CIZMAR. Email: dish@wweek.com. See page 3 for submission instructions.

THURSDAY, JAN. 24 Chateau Ste. Michelle Winemaker’s Dinner

5328 N. Lombard • 503-285-7150 • thefishwife.com T, W, Th 11am - 9pm • Fri 11am - 10pm • Sat. 4 - 10pm

Winemaker Chateau Ste. Michelle will be featured at Salty’s in a ﬁvecourse menu paired by head winemaker Bob Bertheau. The winery isn’t known for its reds, but its riesling and chardonnay are often ranked among the best in the Northwest. Complimenting local fruits de mer, beet salad, duck conﬁt and succulent smoked black cod, this event showcases the full versatility of Chateau Ste. Michelle as a food-centric winery. Salty’s on the Columbia, 3839 NE Marine Drive, 505-9986. 6:30 pm. $80. 21+.

Vanessa’s Birthday Party

Vanessa Ogden was not physically injured at the Clackamas Town Center shooting, but after protecting her store’s employees in a closet, the shock has aﬀected her very deeply. All proceeds from the $5 Alameda pints will go directly to Vanessa and her family. There will be a raﬄe for Blazers tickets and other prizes. Sellwood Public House, 8132 SE 13th Ave., 736-0182. 5 pm. Free. 21+.

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OREGON

BEER EVENTS

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Willamette Week JANUARY 23, 2013 wweek.com

SATURDAY, JAN. 26 Gluten-Free Food and Beer Pairing

Bazi Bierbrasserie is playing host to wheat haters Nourish Northwest to present food that won’t make anyone bloat. The beers, available year-round at Bazi, are all from Green’s, a U.K. company that produces gluten-free beers in Belgium. If the progressive cosmopolitanism of the Tripel Blonde and the amber don’t convince you, maybe the food will. Celery-root soup, polenta and cheesecake with salted caramel topping are all on the menu. It might not be the best destination for wheat eaters, though, as certiﬁed dietitians will be on hand to berate the humble grain. Hey, at least there’s a souvenir beer glass. Bazi Bierbrasserie, 1522 SE 32nd Ave., 234-8888. 2-3 pm. $27. 21+.

SUNDAY, JAN. 27 Wine Battle: Red vs. White

Many types of food pair well with both red and white wines. How to decide? Why, culinary war games, of course. Metrovino chef Dustin See has created a five-course menu equally suitable to the two factions, and local biodynamic winery Montinore Estate will provide the wines. An appropriate choice, as two winemakers there work independently on their reds and whites. Pork, salmon and charcuterie will feature on the menu, and a scientific description of how those flavors interact with the attributes of the wine will precede the dinner. Each course features one red and one white, and guests judge which pairs better. Metrovino, 1139 NW 11th Ave., 517-7778. 4 pm. $45. 21+.

FAVORITE JEANS: Eat your dinner, then come here.

QUEEN OF CRUST The eternal question: dessert or the check? In Portland, you’re usually better off with the check. Our town’s eateries can rarely afford a dedicated pastry chef, so even meals at excellent restaurants usually peak with the entree. You pass on the panna cotta and head to a bakery or ice-cream shop—we have plenty of good ones—only to end up in a block-long line, shaking the handle of a locked door or spending a romantic evening on a vinyl bench under fluorescent lighting. Or so it was before Lauretta Jean’s game-changing expansion to Southeast Division Street. Pie: To my mind, the perfect desert. Available in varied degrees of sweetness, fruitiness, creaminess and chocolateyness, pie can sit for a few hours before it loses its charm. It’s also a loyal companion to coffee that’s handily shareable and easily upgraded Order this: Slice of berry pie ($4) and a Black Butte Porter ($3). with ice cream. I’ll pass: Apple pie ($4). Division Street: the perfect place for an after-dinner dessert shop. A half dozen of the city’s most exciting restaurants sit along a 25-block stretch, which we’ll concede to calling “Restaurant Row” until a less-hackneyed alternative emerges. Lauretta Jean’s: a perfect pie shop. Classy but casual, laid out like a coffee shop with low light, a simple wood-and-glass counter and a poster advocating weed and Willie Nelson. Blackberry Raspberry ($4): the perfect slice. The tart and pulpy filling is lick-your-fork good, with berries crushed so they offer up their nectar without losing their personality. The flaky crust, made with careful attention to an old family recipe, has the soft crunch of high-desert snow. There’s breakfast and lunch—flaky breakfast biscuits are delicious topped with either a pat of butter or bright-pink strawberry preserves with big slivers of berry; a caramelized onion-and-bluecheese hand pie uses a get-every-crumb herbed crust to make up for the lack of cheese—but weekend evening hours are when Lauretta Jean’s really shines. You’ll find A Tribe Called Quest on the stereo and unfussy cocktails or bottled beer on the tables, in the space mysteriously abandoned by Pix Patisserie just before Duane Sorenson’s new joint, Ava Gene’s (no relation), opened across the street. Baker Kate McMillen is a queen of crust, and whatever she puts in her pies seems to work. Fillings change daily, but you’re safe picking your favorite flavor and waiting for the wow. The apple pie, for example, is what I imagine people who order the traditional slice want: al dente slices of apple powdered with cinnamon and vanilla. Neither overly rich nor heavily spiced, it’s refreshingly simple. The tart cherry, on the other hand, has fresh fruit and a little bite. Chocolate caramel hazelnut cheesecake with a crust that tastes like it’s made of crushed ginger snaps is thick with cream, nuts and cocoa. The cream pies are an exception of sorts: They’re about 80 percent fluffy, barely baked cream, with shallow layers of toasty coconut or a pudding spiked with soft slices of banana. They’re satisfying, but I’d like more filling. Then again, they pair well with a dark beer after dinner. That’s something you’ll find me enjoying here far, far too often. MARTIN CIZMAR. EAT: Lauretta Jean’s, 3402 SE Division St., 235-3119, laurettajean. com. 7 am-5 pm Monday-Wednesday, 7 am-10 pm ThursdayFriday, 8 am-10 pm Saturday, 8 am-5 pm Sunday. $.

FOOD & DRINK R A N A N I CO l E YO u N g

REVIEW

WITH THE OREGON SYMPHONY better toddy through chemistry: the Woodsman tavern’s vacuum pot.

HOTTEST TODDIES FINDING PORTLAND’S BEST TAKE ON THE CLASSIC WINTER DRINK. By M at t h e w Si n g e r

msinger@wweek.com

Baby, it’s goddamn freezing outside. OK, maybe we don’t have it as bad as most of the country. But Portlanders only complain about the weather to justify their other favorite pastime: staying inside and warming their cores with alcohol. And no drink gets us through the mild inconvenience of the season better than a hot toddy. On a particularly frostbitten day, even a lukewarm toddy with lemon concentrate and Fox and Moose Whiskey is a welcome respite. What is the key to a great toddy, though? “The first thing people mess up is the glass itself,” says Dave Shenaut, president of the Oregon Bartenders Guild. At Raven & Rose, the new downtown gastropub he manages, Shenaut pours his toddy—made with Irish whiskey and old-fashioned bitters—in a pre-warmed, thick-sided Belgian drinking glass for maximum heat preservation. He only fills it up halfway, too. “It’s important to be able to stick your nose in there and get that hot steam,” he says. Since it’s going to be a few months before the city warms up, we surveyed five notable toddy destinations to determine which were worthy of shoving your face in.

Moloko 3967 N Mississippi Ave., 288-6272, molokopdx.com On a crowded weekend, Moloko is often insufferable: blacklights and fish tanks and modernist furniture, and the kind of people who enjoy such surroundings. (And don’t get me started on the restroom, situated in the middle of an alwayslogjammed aisle leading to the patio.) During a low-key weekday happy hour, though, when the place is practically empty, the room becomes quite comfy, and that feeling is aided by one of the city’s more satisfying toddies. Made with Evan Williams bourbon—honestly, you don’t need to go top shelf on a toddy—and served in an aquarium-sized snifter, the key is the fresh-squeezed lemon juice, giving it a unique zest to match the soothing warmth. Price: $5. hot or not: Hot! It’s not especially complicated, but impressive in its simplicity.

The Bent Brick

1639 NW Marshall St., 688-1655, thebentbrick.com At this Slabtown diner, you won’t find a hot toddy listed on the menu. Ask a bartender to make one, though, and the response is, “Oh, yeah, I’ll always make a hot toddy.” Bent Brick’s is delightfully tart, owing to its use of unripened grape juice and chamomile and Angostura bitters that hit a tangy sweet spot at the corners of your jaw without being overwhelming. Price: $7. hot or not: Hot. Nothing fancy, but it does its job.

The Woodsman Tavern

4537 SE Division St., 971-373-8264, woodsmantavern.com A question immediately springs to mind whenever one orders the toddy at Duane Sorenson’s urban ski lodge: “Why are they making my drink in an 18th-century bong?” Actually, it’s a vacuum pot—otherwise known as a coffee

siphon—which heats applejack, rye whiskey and maple syrup via open flame, creating a bubbling amber concoction, then sends the mixture up a glass chamber to infuse with lemon peel, lavender and other flavorings, producing what is, more or less, a cup of hot whiskey. This method has its advantages and disadvantages. On the one hand, it brings out the alcohol masked in typical toddies, which makes it not much like a toddy at all. On the other, now you don’t have to worry about accidentally swallowing a clove. Price: $10. hot or not: Hot? It mostly depends on your feelings toward having stuff floating around in your drink. Do you prefer pulp-free orange juice? Then this is probably the toddy for you.

ROBERTA

7:30 pm

FLACK

Feb 14

One of the greatest songstresses of our time sings “Killing Me Softly,” “The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face,” and more.

OrSymphony.org ARLENE SCHNITZER CONCERT HALL

Portland Penny Diner

410 SW Broadway, 228-7222, portlandpennydiner.com Vitaly Paley’s new, casual downtown eatery has a no-big-whoop ambience, which goes against its owner’s celebrity-chef pedigree. Appropriately, the Penny Toddy is a low-key concoction, made with applejack, cardamom bitters and bergamot tea and served in a coffee cup. But it’s dominated by the acidic bite of lemon, giving it the taste of a Country Time thrown in the microwave. Price: $7. hot or not: Not!

Binks

2715 NE Alberta St., 493-4430, binksbar.com Full disclosure: This is where I spent this past New Year’s Day. And as you might expect, after rolling out of bed around 1 pm feeling like a refrigerator fell on me, I’m a bit biased toward the drink that brought me back to life. But Binks is damn near required to serve a top-notch toddy. The bar is the size of an average living room, complete with a fireplace. Coziness is what it aims for, and if its warm beverages were subpar, it’d practically qualify as false advertising. Binks’ deluxe toddy—it’s 50 additional cents—is particularly medicinal, made extra pulpy with mashed-up ginger, and a dash of cayenne pepper providing the kick to rev a hungover soul back into gear. Price: $6.50. hot or not: Hawt! It’s enough to make you handcuff yourself next to the fireplace and hunker down until spring.

Hollywood Beverage • 3028 NE Sandy Blvd www.hollywoodliquor.net • (503) 284-0987 Willamette Week JANUARY 23, 2013 wweek.com

ADVERTORIAL

ANIMALS

ARTS

COMMUNITY

EDUCATION

ENVIRONMENT

SOCIAL ACTION

WELLNESS

YOUTH

Willamette Week’s

Welcome to WW’s 2013 Volunteer Guide. The idea here goes something like this: You were generous financially with our 2012 Give!Guide. Now, as the new year begins, you may want to invest some of your valuable sweat equity in a local nonprofit, but you’re not sure where to start. If so, we’re here to help. Fifty or so worthy nonprofits have identified their needs in the pages of this guide. If you can fill one of them, terrific! If you know someone else who can, point that person in the right direction. Thanks for giving this your attention.

ANIMALS AUTISM SERVICE DOGS OF AMERICA WHAT WE NEED HELP WITH: Families

or individuals interested in helping raise and train autism service dogs for a local nonprofit while making a difference in the quality of life for an individual with autism! We are looking to bring new board members onto our team and develop our fundraising committee. IDEAL VOLUNTEER: Dedicated volunteers

willing to devote the time and energy necessary to raise, socialize and help train a service dog. This includes being able to bring the dog to work or school and out in the community! Interest in nonprofits, dogs, children and families in need, or fundraising. CONTACT: ASDA info@ autismservicedogsofamerica.org

CAT ADOPTION TEAM WHAT WE NEED HELP WITH: As a CAT

volunteer, make purr-fect matches as an adoption counselor, foster a litter of kittens, represent CAT at a community event, cuddle with shelter cats, provide daily care, take photos, write about cats, host a supply drive, and greet and assist clients all while having a purr-tastic time and getting paid in head-butts and purr! 28

IDEAL VOLUNTEER: If you love talking

about cats, caring for cats, and helping others fall in love with cats, we need you.

CONTACT: Caitlin Traxler, volunteer@feralcats.com, 503-797-2606

THE OREGON CAT PROJECT WHAT WE NEED HELP WITH: Here are

some of the ways you can volunteer your time at TOCP, Oregon’s fastestgrowing feline rescue and spay/ neuter clinic. Adoption Centers: (Lake Oswego, SE Portland, Gresham, Downtown & Sherwood) socialization, feeding, cleaning, adoption counseling, transportation. Veterinary, foster care, clerical, accounting, legal, special events, fundraising. Put your skills to work for TOCP. IDEAL VOLUNTEER: We are looking

for individuals who possess these qualities: Enthusiasm, a positive attitude is vital. Common sense, knowing the difference between right and wrong, reliable, willing to devote a set amount of time regularly. Committed, demonstrating you’re passion, self-confident, able to work both autonomously and with others, good communication.

CONTACT: Nancy Puro, volunteer manager, nancyp@catadoptionteam. org, 503-925-8903 ext. 258

theoregoncat@gmail.com

FERAL CAT COALITION OF OREGON

PORTLAND ANIMAL WELFARE (PAW) TEAM

WHAT WE NEED HELP WITH: Office volunteers schedule and confirm appointments, and screen cats for eligibility for FCCO clinics. They assist callers with questions regarding feral cats and spay/neuter. Outreach volunteers attend street fairs, farmers’ markets and other events. They share accurate information about our services with the public and answer questions. Clinic volunteers will be given additional training for assigned positions. Jobs include: reception desk, cleaning cages, sterilizing surgical instruments, and monitoring cats postoperatively. Fundraising volunteers help plan fundraising events, volunteer at events, grant writing or create new opportunities for FCCO.

WHAT WE NEED HELP WITH: 40

IDEAL VOLUNTEER: We are looking

for people who have excellent communication skills, can follow directions, be punctual and reliable, and are compassionate! Phone experience, and office or administrative skills are a plus. Positive attitude required!

Willamette Week JANUARY 23, 2013 wweek.com

CONTACT: D. Lionel or J Walsh,

volunteers—5 in marketing/PR/social media, 10 for special events, 25 for monthly clinics. IDEAL VOLUNTEER: Must like animals,

vet care, social media, event planning, marketing, office. CONTACT: Cindy Scheel, Executive Director, cindyscheel@pawteam.org, 971-282-8443

ARTS

skills and interests coincide with our mission to facilitate creative expression and identity, by providing public access to the resources and tools needed to create independently published media and art.

COMMUNITY

CONTACT: Michael D’Alessandro, michael@iprc.org, 503-827-0249

WHAT WE NEED HELP WITH: Volunteers

NORTHWEST DANCE PROJECT WHAT WE NEED HELP WITH: Northwest

Dance Project is a leading contemporary dance company with 150+ original works created and premiered in Portland. Volunteers help at our Studio + Performance Center and with outreach and community events, assist with office and administrative needs, distribute posters and fliers and help in many ways at shows and events. IDEAL VOLUNTEER: Our volunteers

love dance and value new works and the creative process. Dedication, dependability, organization, flexibility, communication and customer service skills are key. Sense of humor and patience are musts. Marketing/ development experience a plus, as well as computer skills including Word, Excel, database, ticketing and experience with social media. CONTACT: Katie Lofgren, katie@nwdanceproject.org, 503-421-7434

WRITE AROUND PORTLAND WHAT WE NEED HELP WITH: More than

250 people volunteer at Write Around Portland each year. Volunteers facilitate our creative writing workshops, help produce each of our publications and staff community readings. Volunteers also help with all of the behind-the-scenes tasks that make our workshops, readings and professionally designed books possible. IDEAL VOLUNTEER: Our volunteers are

INDEPENDENT PUBLISHING RESOURCE CENTER WHAT WE NEED HELP WITH: Volunteers

can help our organization as an Open Hours Staffperson, fundraiser, special knowledge volunteer, publicity helper, workshop facilitator, or database entry person, ask an Open Hours Staffer for an application or go to iprc.org. IDEAL VOLUNTEER: We are always

looking for volunteers whose

BICYCLE TRANSPORTATION ALLIANCE strengthen the work of the BTA every day. You can get involved by helping at events, assisting in the office, doing research, attending meetings, stuffing envelopes, leading community rides, fixing bikes for our youth classes, and more. IDEAL VOLUNTEER: Our volunteers are

passionate about their communities. They have a desire to help others save money on transportation, support the goals of creating safe and vibrant neighborhoods, and build a stronger local economy. We’re always looking for people with experience in grant writing, phone banking, public outreach, and volunteer organizing. CONTACT: Chris Knott, chris@btaoregon.org, 503-226-0676

COMMUNITY VISION, INC. WHAT WE NEED HELP WITH: Through

Community Vision’s Homeownership Independence Program, work parties are held throughout the year to accomplish home-based repair and house painting for the individuals with disabilities living in their homes. IDEAL VOLUNTEER: The ideal volunteer

for Community Vision would enjoy working with a small group of other community volunteers, in three- to four-hour increments to make a difference in the lives of people with disabilities. CONTACT: Valerie Plummer, valerie@cvision.org, 503-292-4964 ext. 124

IMPACT NW

committed to respect, writing and community. They are passionate about our mission to bring workshops to hospitals, schools, prisons, treatment centers, and other facilities. They love being part of an organization where everyone pitches in and every job, whether making copies or facilitating workshops, makes a difference.

WHAT WE NEED HELP WITH: Volunteers

CONTACT: Liz Eslinger,

volunteers range from those with professional skills to those with time who wish to gain a new skill. People interested in helping children achieve

eeslinger@writearound.org, 503-796-9224

engage in a wide range of activities, from sporadic to regular, in groups or alone, that help people prosper in a community of support. They serve clients ranging in age from 1 month to 103 years old throughout the metropolitan region. IDEAL VOLUNTEER: Impact NW

advertorial

success, families gain independence and seniors maintain active involvement in our communities all will find a satisfying role. Contact: Community Involvement Manager, volunteer@impactnw.org, 503-988-6000

KBOO Community Radio What we need help with:

and able to make a three-month commitment. We provide disability/ diversity training and guidance on best practices in special education and community integration. Contact: Molly Mayo,

molly@onthemoveonline.org, 503-287-0346

Oregon Food Bank

Answering phones, database entry, administrative support, coordinating projects and events, outreach, marketing, promotion, solicitation, graphic design, website and social media, engineering, IT, live broadcasts, local news production, writing, editing, audio recording and production, volunteers are the heart & soul of KBOO.

What we need help with: We are

Ideal Volunteer: A good sense of

Ideal Volunteer: Do you like working

humor, creative, out-of-the-box thinker, organized, good followthrough and initiative, independent, friendly, good oral and written communication skills, flexible, dependable, able to adapt and respond quickly, good attention to detail, willing to share ideas and solutions, trustworthy‚ and interested in building community through radio.

in a group? Do you want to be a part of hunger relief in Oregon? We are looking for enthusiastic and passionate folks to help sort and repack food. It’s easy to get started. Visit www.oregonfoodbank.org to sign up. Ages 6 and up.

Contact: Lynn Fitch, Station

Navigator, manager@kboo.org, 503-231-8032 x222

Neighborhood House What we need help with: Neighborhood

House uses hundreds of volunteers each year in our education and social services programs serving lowincome children, families and seniors. Volunteers distribute food in our food pantry and tutor struggling students after school. They help out at our Senior Center and in our Development office, supporting our fundraising and communications activities. Ideal Volunteer: Our ideal volunteer

is passionate about helping lowincome people make it through hard times and start on a path toward a better life. A kind, nonjudgmental attitude is essential. Experience with kids, customer service skills, knowing languages other than English, writing/ graphic design skills and gardening are helpful, but not required. Contact: Jeanine, volunteer@nhweb.org, 503-246-1663 x2117

On-the-Move Community Integration What we need help with: Volunteer

as a reading tutor for adults with developmental disabilities. Tutors support diverse students who are working to improve independence through increased literacy skills. In a celebratory environment, form new relationships and discover the rewards of creating an inclusive community of Portlanders with and without disabilities. Ideal Volunteer: Our ideal volunteer

is fun, flexible, compassionate, and reliable, and believes that the contributions of all unique community members are valuable. Volunteers should be good readers

building a community of folks who are passionate about making a difference! Come repack food for distribution across our statewide network. We run fun, lively 2- to 3-hour-long volunteer shifts Monday through Saturday at our Portland and Beaverton locations. Your help inspires hope. Sign up at www.oregonfoodbank.org.

Contact: volunteer@oregonfoodbank. org, 503-972-2993

The ReBuilding Center of Our United Villages What we need help with: Help turn

unwanted building materials from a waste into a community asset! De-nail, sort and stock reclaimed old-growth lumber and tons of other used-building materials for reuse to benefit communities and our environment. Administrative tasks, handing out literature to the public at events, writing, technology, video and much more! Ideal Volunteer:

We need people of all skill levels. We thrive on positive energy and are committed to sustaining an environment that’s filled with respect, discovery, laughter, fun and making a meaningful difference. Commitment to safety and a sincere desire to make a positive difference for community and the environment is a must. Contact: Volunteer ‘Igniter’ Coordinator, volunteer@ ourunitedvillages.org, 503-467-4985

Street Roots What we need help with: Street Roots

needs a variety of volunteers for all of our programs: graphic designers to assist creating promotional material for development. Hospitality and front desk volunteers for our vendor program. Volunteers to assist with the Rose City Resource guide data entry and distribution. We are also interested in volunteers who are willing to be at the forefront of social media use to affect change in the community. Ideal Volunteer: Street Roots

volunteers come from all backgrounds. We need creative individuals who enjoy a fast-paced variable environment. Volunteers are problem solvers who have good people skills and an ability to multitask.

Contact: Volunteer Coordinator, volunteer@streetroots.org, 503-228-5657

Transition Projects What we need help with: We need

groups (5 to 10 people) to donate their time and a thoughtful meal to homeless individuals. Groups purchase food and prepare and serve the meal to people working to overcome their barriers to housing. Cooking opportunities are for our 90-bed residential programs. This project could be corporate team building, a faith-based mission project or a fun night with friends. Ideal Volunteer: A compassionate

group who wants to see the immediate effect of their contribution and play a supporting role in peoples’ success. Cooking, planning and leading skills are all a plus, but not required. Youth volunteers allowed with adult supervision.

Ideal Volunteer: The ideal volunteer

will enjoy interacting with the public and will have an appreciation for historic preservation and the historic architecture of Portland. A willingness to be flexible with volunteer tasks is greatly appreciated (as is a sense of humor). Contact: Ita Lindquist, ital@visitahc.org, 503-231-7264

Children’s Book Bank What we need help with: The

Children’s Book Bank is dedicated to providing books to kids in low-income households who may not otherwise have books at home. Whether by hosting book drives, repairing wellloved books, sorting books by levels and categories, delivering books to schools, or representing CBB at community events, your efforts will support a new generation of readers. Ideal Volunteer: Volunteers share

United Cerebral Palsy of Oregon & SW Washington

our belief that ALL kids should grow up surrounded by books. They are self-motivated book lovers who are detail-oriented, can commit to regular volunteer shifts, and enjoy participating behind the scenes. A library or bookstore background is a plus, but not necessary.

What we need help with: United

Contact: Robin,

Contact: Sam Haffey,

volunteer@tprojects.org, 503-280-4770

Cerebral Palsy of Oregon & SW Washington has been advancing the independence, productivity and full citizenship of people with disabilities since 1955. We are pleased to announce the opportunity for volunteers to serve on our board of directors. Board service provides a unique opportunity to “give back” and use your professional expertise and personal experience to help shape the organization. Ideal Volunteer: The following

characteristics are desirable for our Board: previous experience with committee work; comfort in communicating ideas in a group setting; an interest and dedication to working with persons with cerebral palsy and other intellectual and developmental disabilities. We have particular interest in gaining members who are competent in the following areas: accounting; financial management; community organizing; development / fundraising; and public relations / marketing. Contact: Ann Coffey, acoffey@ucpaorwa.org, 503-777-4166

Education Architectural Heritage Center What we need help with: The

Architectural Heritage Center’s mission is to preserve the historic character and livability of our built environment, and to promote sustainability through the reuse of period homes and buildings. We need volunteers to help with our outreach efforts, education programs, walking tours, collections, reception desk and special events.

robin@childrensbookbank.org, 503-616-3981

“I Have a Dream” Oregon What we need help with: IHAD

helps low-income students succeed in school, college and career, and a key component of our program is connecting Dreamers with adult role models. We’re looking for committed and fun volunteers to become mentors to students in East Portland. Are you ready to make memories with a Dreamer? Get involved! Ideal Volunteer: No special skills

required. Just hang out once a week with a Dreamer! You’ll get lots of resources and support so you won’t be alone. We require that mentors be 18+, complete the background check/training, and commit to a year of mentoring. Dreamers live in East Multnomah County, so proximity to or ability to travel weekly is necessary. Contact: Kelsey Pine, kelsey.pine@ihaveadreamoregon.org, 503-287-7203

Oregon Humanities What we need help with: Oregon

Humanities seeks event coordination volunteers for Idea Lab, an innovative three-day summer program where Oregon teens and teachers use the humanities to study the pursuit of happiness. Volunteers are needed in late spring/summer to assemble reading materials, provide administrative support and oversee onsite logistics for the late July event. Ideal Volunteer: An enthusiastic

problem solver who communicates clearly, meets deadlines, has a passion for the humanities and wants to work with an amazing group of Oregon teens and teachers in an academic camp setting.

Contact: oregonhumanities.org, o.hm@oregonhumanities.org, 503-241-0543

Portland After School Tennis & Education (PAST&E) What we need help with: PAST&E

delivers one-on-one academic tutoring, tennis lessons, a nutrition/ fitness curriculum, and enrichment activities to at-risk K-12 children and their families. Volunteers serve as coach/tutors, providing support on the tennis court (assisting in drills and fitness activities) and in our classrooms (helping children develop academic skills). Ideal Volunteer: We’re looking

for volunteers who can provide encouragement and positive reinforcement for at-risk children on the tennis court and in our classrooms. No tennis experience required. Contact: Trenton Corvino, Program Director, program@pastande.org, 707-888-1190

SE Works What we need help with: SE Works

is supported by a dedicated team of volunteers. ESL Volunteers conduct tutoring sessions for adults learning English, GED tutors help at-risk youth study for the GED, mentors provide ongoing guidance to youth, and Civic Justice Corps Volunteers tutor students who have been involved with the juvenile justice system. Ideal Volunteer: Successful

volunteers have the ability to explain difficult concepts with patience and empathy, respect for diversity, have cross-cultural competence, and have the ability to work well with others. All volunteers are provided with training and materials as well as ongoing support from SE Works‚ staff. Contact: Julia Martin, jmartin@seworks.org, 503-772-2341

SMART (Start Making A Reader Today) What we need help with: Volunteer

with SMART and help children discover the joy of reading! We are an early-literacy nonprofit that engages community volunteers to help preKthird grade children become confident readers by providing one-on-one literacy support, valuable adult mentorship, and books to take home and keep. Ideal Volunteer: Ideal volunteers will

have an enthusiastic love of books and enjoy working with young children. They will need to be available to read for one hour per week during public school hours through mid-May. Contact: Staci Sutton, ssutton@getsmartoregon.org, 971-634-1616

Zenger Farm What we need help with: Volunteers

help Zenger Farm offer field trip cont. on page 30

Willamette Week JANUARY 23, 2013 wweek.com

advertorial

m at t p r e s to n

other paddlers in the area, please consider volunteering with Tualatin Riverkeepers. IDEAL VOLUNTEER: The ideal Volunteer

Trip Leader would be someone who is outgoing, enjoys working with the public, has paddle experience and skills, has an interest in river issues, is enthusiastic and owns their own canoe or kayak. Volunteers with some or all of these traits are encouraged to apply. CONTACT: Margot Fervia-Neamtzu, margot@tualatinriverkeepers.org, 503-218-2580

WILLAMETTE RIVERKEEPER WHAT WE NEED HELP WITH: We need

programming to more than 6,000 youth a year, teach healthy-cooking classes to families, raise crops and livestock and help spread the good word about Zenger Farm in the community through events. IDEAL VOLUNTEER: Zenger Farm

volunteers are friendly, dependable, and enthusiastic. Background in cooking, gardening or outdoor education is helpful, but not required. Drop-in volunteers help with farm projects at weekly work parties and people interested in taking on leadership roles have the opportunity to make seasonal commitments to the farm. CONTACT: Alice Froehlich,

alice@zengerfarm.org, 503-282-4245

ENVIRONMENT FOREST PARK CONSERVANCY WHAT WE NEED HELP WITH: Forest Park

Conservancy volunteers preserve and enhance Forest Park’s trail network and native habitat. Stewardship projects include trail maintenance and repair, removal of invasive plant species, construction of split rail fence, repair and construction of bridges, and planting of native trees and shrubs. IDEAL VOLUNTEER: Ideal volunteers are

passionate about the environment and interested in getting to know Forest Park more intimately. A willingness to get dirty working and hiking in the great outdoors is a must. Forest Park Conservancy provides all necessary tools and training, and welcomes family, group and business participation. CONTACT: Mikala Soroka, mikala@forestparkconservancy.org, 503-223-5449 ext. 106

FRIENDS OF THE COLUMBIA GORGE WHAT WE NEED HELP WITH: Be a steward

of Gorge trails and landscapes. Volunteer to build and maintain trails, remove obnoxious weeds, trim vegetation, and plant natives. Explore new places by working on our land trust properties not open to the public. As the only nonprofit 30

dedicated to preserving the Columbia Gorge, we need your help in keeping the Gorge an unspoiled treasure for everyone to enjoy. IDEAL VOLUNTEER: Likes working with

your hands and getting a bit dirty! Wants to revel in the surrounding beauty and be rewarded with taking care of this one-of-a-kind landscape right here in our own backyard. CONTACT: Maegan Jossy,

maegan@gorgefriends.org, 971-634-2028

FRIENDS OF TREES

help protecting and restoring the Willamette River! A handful of volunteers are needed for targeted water-quality monitoring. Get your hands dirty at our seasonal restoration work parties and cleanup events along the Willamette River. Join our e-news community or Facebook page to learn about upcoming events. IDEAL VOLUNTEER: An ideal volunteer

is friendly, interested in connecting with their river and community, and enjoys being outdoors rain or shine. CONTACT: Marci Krass, marci@willametteriverkeeper.org, 503-223-6418

WHAT WE NEED HELP WITH: We welcome

volunteers in dozens of ways, but our biggest need is planting trees! We plant every Saturday from 9 am to 1 pm October-April around the metro region. Simply show up dressed for the weather. We provide gloves, tools and guidance, as well as snacks and coffee. Rain or shine. No need to preregister. EVENTS: www.FriendsofTrees.

org/calendar/calendar-portlandvancouver IDEAL VOLUNTEER: Our ideal volunteer

likes being outdoors in the Pacific Northwest’s finest winter weather, meeting new friends and neighbors and laughing a lot, as well as learning about trees, how to plant them and why they’re awesome. All ages welcome. Family and group friendly. We can’t wait to work with you! CONTACT: Andy Meeks, andym@FriendsofTrees.org, 503-595-0213

TUALATIN RIVERKEEPERS WHAT WE NEED HELP WITH: Tualatin

Riverkeepers’ Trips & Tours program is the “heart and soul” of our organization. Our Volunteer Trip Leaders are trained to guide our canoe and kayak paddle trips through our Trip Leader Training classroom session and pool training session (paddle safety & rescue). Volunteer roles include trip leader, trip assistant, gear coordinator, registration coordinator and hauler. Volunteers should be willing to volunteer for at least two paddle trips per season (May-October). If you enjoy being on the water, are looking to help promote our mission to restore and protect the Tualatin River, and would like to meet

Willamette Week JANUARY 23, 2013 wweek.com

HEALTH & WELLNESS

IDEAL VOLUNTEER: The Lotus Seed is

a nonprofit organization dedicated to bringing yoga, movement and art to the community through outreach programs and continuing education. Volunteers who have a focus on community development through health and wellness are perfect candidates for working the Lotus Seed. CONTACT: Wren deVous, wren@lotusseed.org, 503-278-3799

MEALS ON WHEELS PEOPLE WHAT WE NEED HELP WITH: Our greatest

need is for Meals on Wheels drivers. Meals are delivered daily between 10:30 a.m. and noon. We have 35 locations where meals can be picked up throughout Multnomah, Washington and Clark counties. Meals on weekends are served in Multnomah County only with a pick-up on SE Belmont. We also use volunteers on committees, to do administrative work and help with special events. IDEAL VOLUNTEER: Volunteers must

be at least 18 years old. For those who wish to deliver meals, you must have your own car and insurance and undergo a background check. You should enjoy talking with elderly people and be willing to visit for a few minutes with those on the meal route. Volunteers with office skills are always needed at our adminstrative office and at our meal sites. CONTACT: Diana Creitz, diana.creitz@mealsonwheelspeople.org, 503-953-8101

ALBERTINA KERR

REFIT: REMODELING FOR INDEPENDENCE TOGETHER

WHAT WE NEED HELP WITH: Albertina

WHAT WE NEED HELP WITH: At ReFIT,

Kerr strengthens Oregon families and communities by helping children and adults with developmental disabilities and mental health challenges. We are looking for volunteer activity partners, music instructors or music therapy, art, yoga, events, sports, visiting friend, reading or cooking. You can also volunteer in our restaurant, retail thrift shop, jewelry, antiques and collectibles stores.

you are our lifeblood. We are a volunteer organization dedicated to helping people struggling with illness, injury, disability or the aging process to live independent lives‚ at home. By providing essential remodeling services such as access ramps and bathroom modifications, we help those who want to stay in their homes but lack the financial resources to make necessary modifications to stay there safely.

IDEAL VOLUNTEER: Highly motivated,

IDEAL VOLUNTEER: The ideal volunteer

enthusiastic, ability to work well with others, patient, personal commitment to helping others and improving lives, willingness to share, teach and learn, extremely dependable, able to commit to 6-9 months, ability to understand and accept differences as well as work well with others. CONTACT: Meghan Anderson, Community Relations Manager, meghana@albertinakerr.org, 503-262-0187

THE LOTUS SEED WHAT WE NEED HELP WITH: Volunteers

can help the Lotus Seed by using their time and energy in the following areas: teaching yoga, movement or art, office administration, graphic design / marketing, improving the building and grounds, and fundraising.

would be someone with construction experience and a project management background to head up a specific project. In addition, we are always on the lookout for individuals for fundraising event planning, marketing and community outreach. If you have a passion to help the most vulnerable and isolated members of our community we can use your talents. CONTACT: Laurey Maslyk,

lmaslyk@refitportland.org, 503-943-9544

RETURNING VETERANS PROJECT WHAT WE NEED HELP WITH: Returning

Veterans Project asks licensed and insured mental health practitioners, massage therapists, acupuncturists, chiropractors and naturopaths to open a pro bono slot in their practice

to provide free, confidential services for Iraq and Afghanistan war veterans and their families across Oregon and SW Washington. IDEAL VOLUNTEER: We welcome

Providers who want to work with us to help support and heal our veterans and their families. You must be insured, licensed and have a professional office space. Supervised Interns working toward licensure may be eligible. For more information and to apply, please go to http://www.returningveterans.org/ for-providers. CONTACT: Pam Beaty, mail@returningveterans.org, 503-954-2259

RIDE TO REMEMBER WHAT WE NEED HELP WITH: Helping at

rest stops, day-of setup, on-course monitors and spotters, cleanup, Warrior Dash checkpoint monitors, drivers to pick up and deliver items as needed. IDEAL VOLUNTEER: We need volunteers

who are energetic, want to help encourage and motivate the participants, can be flexible and willing to help out where needed, and are dependable. CONTACT: Sandee Cano, sandeecano@gmail.com, 503-916-9480

YOGI ROOTS WHAT WE NEED HELP WITH: Yogi Roots

is the hub for everything yoga in the greater Portland area. We are a nonprofit organization in need of volunteers to help with outreach, promotion, and staffing of local community building events. We are seeking assistance from yoga teachers, blog writers, marketers and fundraisers, and grant writers. IDEAL VOLUNTEER: We are in search

of yogis that share our mission to create a collaborative and accessible yoga community. Volunteers with a personal yoga practice who like meeting new people and talking yoga and want to be of service to the greater Portland community are great candidates for Yogi Roots! CONTACT INFO: Darlene Siegel, darlene@yogiroots.org

SOCIAL ACTION HABITAT FOR HUMANITY PORTLAND/METRO EAST WHAT WE NEED HELP WITH: Habitat

for Humanity builds year-round throughout Portland and northern Clackamas County. Volunteers help with all aspects of construction. All skill levels are welcome, just a willingness to learn and must be 16 years old. Our construction days are Wednesday-Saturday 8:30-3:30. IDEAL VOLUNTEER: Weatherproof

volunteers needed for busy winter! Habitat staff has known for years that our volunteers are so sweet they could be made of sugar!

ADVERTORIAL

Perhaps they are made of a special weather-resistant, antidissolving sugar that only the Portland metro area can produce. Habitat has many construction and non-construction volunteer opportunities available right now to help keep our momentum going on each of our homes. CONTACT: Marianne McClure, marianne@habitatportlandmetro. org, 503-287-9529 ext. 14

POTLUCK IN THE PARK WHAT WE NEED HELP WITH: Potluck is

a volunteer-driven organization. All of our jobs from fundraising to picking up food and supplies is thru volunteers. IDEAL VOLUNTEER: Every job is

different, so we wouldn’t turn away anyone who is interested away. Some jobs require a selfstarter. Some request a long term commitment if possible. CONTACT: Cheri Baber, cheribaber@potluckinthepark.org, 503-255-7611

SISTERS OF THE ROAD WHAT WE NEED HELP WITH: Sisters Of

The Road offers a space to build community, empower ourselves, learn from one another, dine with dignity and organize for justice and human rights for all. Sisters’ Volunteer Program exists to ensure that volunteer resources are available throughout our organization to support Cafe operations, events and systemic change campaigns. IDEAL VOLUNTEER: Volunteers work

in all areas of the organization including fundraising, community outreach, event planning, office/ reception, food service, and political activism. We ask that all volunteers demonstrate a commitment to Sisters’ philosophies of nonviolence and gentle personalism, grassroots community organizing and a systemic change model. CONTACT: Lindsay Day,

lindsay@sistersoftheroad.org, 503-222-5694 x43

YOUTH BIG BROTHERS BIG SISTERS COLUMBIA NW WHAT WE NEED HELP WITH: You can

change a life by simply becoming a friend to a child. Many of the youth we serve come from single-parent families, are of low income and some are foster children. They face a variety of challenges and often just need another adult to talk to. By being a Big Brother or Sister you become that friend by just sharing a little time with them. That might include going to the library, taking a hike, playing ball or simply just talking. Our studies show that through this friendship, our children are better

in school and less likely to be involved with drugs, alcohol or criminal activity. Please sign up today and be a friend to a child.

our after-school programs or you explore opportunities around oneday activities or events, we’ll work with you to find a good fit.

IDEAL VOLUNTEER: To become a Big

IDEAL VOLUNTEER: Our ideal

Brother or Sister, all you need to be is a caring adult who wants to be a great friend to a child.

volunteers are professional women and college students interested in positively impacting girls in the greater-Portland area. Professionals in science, technology, engineering, and math, media artists, counselors, educators, and college students are among our current volunteers. Your interest in serving area girls and inspiring them to be strong, smart and bold is the key! Learn more and apply on our website: http://girlsincnworegon.org/ volunteer/.

CONTACT: Ericka Carbajal,

ericka.carbajal@bbbsnorthwest. org, 503-249-4859

BOYS & GIRLS AID WHAT WE NEED HELP WITH:

Volunteers proficient in a particular skill or activity they can teach to youth in our programs are encouraged to apply. Project volunteer activities could include things like arts and crafts, cooking, music, dance, job search / interview skills, sports or exercise, or storytelling. In addition, we welcome event volunteers for fundraising events throughout the year. IDEAL VOLUNTEER: Volunteers must

be positive role models with the ability to work with teens and young adults with challenging behaviors and traumatic histories. Volunteers must be flexible and adaptable. Project volunteers must be proficient in the skill or activity they plan to teach. CONTACT: Christy Noyd, info@boysandgirlsaid.org, 503-542-2301

CASA FOR CHILDREN WHAT WE NEED HELP WITH: Our trained and empowered advocates are a voice for each child. Our tireless volunteers advocate for the health, safety, stability and well-being of children who have been abused or neglected and are under protection of the court. They contact those involved in the case and report their findings to the court to ensure necessary safety, care and permanence for the children.

Volunteers help us foster the sacredness and dignity of all individuals and build community by breaking down social isolation. Our Community Room provides a safe space for our community to gather, seek support and feel connected. We are in need of volunteers to help welcome people to this space, play games, teach classes or just be present. IDEAL VOLUNTEER: Our ideal

volunteer is someone who is open-minded and engaging, interested in meeting people from diverse backgrounds, and compassionate toward individuals struggling with addiction issues, disabilities, mental illness and poverty. We ask our volunteers for a weekly commitment. All ages and backgrounds welcome. CONTACT: Sarah Knuth,

sk@macdcenter.org , 971-202-7451

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ROCK ’N’ ROLL CAMP FOR GIRLS girls’ self-esteem through music creation and performance! Be a mentor, empower Campers, and support their creative endeavors. We are looking for responsible volunteers 18+ to help with our 2013 Summer Camps! Year-round volunteer opportunities also exist.

volunteer program aims to provide a meaningful experience as we work toward achieving our mission to inspire all girls to be strong, smart, and bold. Whether you train to become a Girls Guide to deliver

designed to pamper and promote balance.

WHAT WE NEED HELP WITH:

WHAT WE NEED HELP WITH: Help build

WHAT WE NEED HELP WITH: Our

Facials, Massage, & Body Treatments

MACDONALD CENTER

work to ensure that each child’s need for a safe permanent home is met. Our advocates need to be conscientious, thorough and reliable and have the ability to maintain perspective and objectivity. They need time to devote to training sessions and follow up for their child. We have volunteers from all walks of life. No special professional background is needed, but volunteers do need to be 21 or older.

GIRLS INC. OF NORTHWEST OREGON

A holistic approach to health and wellness.

CONTACT: Darby Burn Strong, darby@girlsincnworegon.org, 503-230-0054 ext. 4

IDEAL VOLUNTEER: Volunteers

CONTACT: Debi Sakamoto, recruitment@casahelpskids.org, 503-988-4224

Beauty is health… …health is beauty.

IDEAL VOLUNTEER: Despite our name, no musical experience necessary for many volunteer positions. Our ideal volunteer is energetic, prompt, passionate about the Rock Camp mission, and puts our campers’ physical and emotional safety above all else. We are looking for femaleidentified mentors to be instrument instructors, band coaches, workshop leaders and counselors. Several indirect mentorship opportunities are available to all responsible adults as well! CONTACT: Molly Gray, molly.gray@

girlsrockcamp.org, 503-445-4991

Onion & Garlic Soup For symptoms including sore throat:

1. Peel an onion the size of a fist and cut into six pieces 2. Peel an equal amount of garlic in weight and crush open. 3. Put both ingredients in a pot with water covering to 2 inches above them (add lean pork if desire for better taste). 4. Bring water to boil and then simmer down to one cup of water left, add salt to serve. 5. Repeat this once every four hours and up to 3 times on the first day to see result. One Stop Shopping Groceries · Housewares · Gifts · Jewelry · Restaurants

OREGON’S LARGEST ASIAN MALL Interested in leasing space at Fubonn Shopping Center? Contact: Chris Schneider (Norris, Beggs & Simpson) – 503-273-0367 • cschneider@ nai-nbs.com

2850 S.E. 82nd Ave.

www.fubonn.com

503-517-8877

9am-8pm seven days a week *Restaurant Hours may vary from mall hours

Willamette Week JANUARY 23, 2013 wweek.com

jan. 23-29 PROFILE

= WW Pick. Highly recommended.

MICHAEL MCINERNEY

MUSIC

Prices listed are sometimes for advance ticket sales. At-the-door increases and socalled convenience charges may apply. Event lineups are subject to change after WW’s press deadlines. Editor: MATTHEW SINGER. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, go to wweek.com/ submitevents and follow submission directions. All shows should be submitted two weeks or more in advance of event. Press kits, CDs and especially vinyl can be sent to Music Desk, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Please include show or release date information with all physical mailings. Email: msinger@wweek.com. Fax: 243-1115.

WEDNESDAY, JAN. 23 Ken Stringfellow (of the Posies), the Maldives

[POCKETFUL OF POP] Sartorially speaking, Ken Stringfellow has evolved greatly over the decades, from the spiked leather jacket of his first promo photo with his regular band, the Posies, to the long hair he sported during his time as a member of the reconfigured Big Star to his current dyed-black hair, neckties-with-T-shirts glam look. What hasn’t shifted all this while is his allegiance to the power of pop hooks, songwriting unfettered with ungainly poetics, and his slightly twangy vocals. The complete package is, as ever, on display on Stringfellow’s recently released solo endeavor, the groaningly titled Danzig in the Moonlight. ROBERT HAM. Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., 288-3895. 9 pm. $13 advance, $15 day of show. 21+.

Tommy Emmanuel

[FINGERPICKIN’ GOOD] Australia’s finest guitarist is not Angus Young. Though not quite a household name, for some 40-odd years now, Tommy Emmanuel has been wowing everyone from your mom to your little brother who just got his first Suzuki guitar book with his effortlessly dextrous fingerpicking style. Emmanuel has played in his fair share of rock bands over the years—most notably Kiwi outfit Dragon—but is better known for his

acoustic stylings, performed with a slightly orgasmic guitar face and influenced by Chet Atkins (with whom he recorded the album The Day Finger Pickers Took Over the World in ’97; check it out if for no other reason than the amazing cover, featuring a cartoon of a Godzilla-size Emmanuel and Atkins destroying a city by shooting fire from their guitars). RUTH BROWN. Newmark Theatre, 1111 SW Broadway, 248-4335. 8 pm. $29.50-$45 advance, $5 increase day of show. All ages.

Down, Warbeast

[DIRTY SOUTH] Down began as a Southern metal supergroup in New Orleans way back in 1991. Over time, and three long-delayed albums, the band has managed to outlive the supergroup curse and function as a real unit with priority status from its contributors. Last year brought The Purple EP, the first in a new series of bite-size records. Regardless of your feelings on the music of Down (or the inbred lowlifes who love them), you gotta hand it to vocalist Phil Anselmo for tirelessly supporting underground metal. Down took Danava out on tour in 2009, and tonight is one of three Northwest shows featuring Portland’s own Lord Dying, a punishing quartet now celebrating its recent signing to Relapse Records. NATHAN CARSON. Roseland Theater, 8 NW 6th Ave., 224-2038. 8 pm. $25 advance, $30 day of show. All ages.

TOP FIVE

CONT. on page 34

BY M AT T H E W S I N G E R

FIVE LIVE RECORDINGS MADE IN PORTLAND Nirvana (2/09/1990, Pine Street Theatre)

Appended to Sub Pop’s 20th anniversary edition of Bleach in 2009, this show captures an epochal band winding down the “regional upstarts” phase of its career. In this performance, Dave Grohl is not yet behind the drums, Kurt sings like he’s trying to vomit his vocal chords, the guitars are extra grungy and the enthusiastic crowd couldn’t possibly have fathomed that, a year later, this is what all the corporate assholes up in Big Pink would be listening to. Black Flag, Who’s Got the 10 1/2? (10/23/1985, Starry night)

By the time punk’s hardest-touring sociopaths pulled up to the venue currently known as the Roseland to record their second live album, they were running on pure disdain. Key moment: During the medley of “Slip It In” and “Gimmie Gimmie Gimmie,” when Henry Rollins pauses to taunt the audience. “Are some of you boys girls?” he asks. “If so, this is one strange town.” R.L. Burnside, Burnside on Burnside (1/2001, Crystal Ballroom)

It’s the street he was born to play! Once the cause célèbre of late ’90s hipsters, the Mississippi-born Burnside was real-deal mean, and the grimy, guttural blues he scorched the Crystal with would’ve scared the shit out of the folks who only know the music from what they hear at the Waterfront every summer. Dave Brubeck Quartet, Live in Portland (4/1959)

Taken from a radio broadcast, the recording, unearthed in 2010, suffers from technical problems, but remains an intriguing artifact of the late pianist and bandleader just before “Take Five” made him a jazz immortal. Various, Portland Punk Live at the Earth, 10-29-79 (Earth Tavern)

An entire era summed up in a single show, at one of Portland’s original punk clubs. Only Greg Sage—who released the album through his label—and his Wipers exist as more than a faded memory today, but that just makes this hard-to-find document more crucial.

LIVE AND DIRECT: Grandparents performing at the Banana Stand.

THE BASEMENT TAPERS BANANA STAND’S ETERNAL HOUSE PARTY. BY MaTT hEw Sin gE r

msinger@wweek.com

A lot of people know where Aaron Colter and Louie Herr live. It’s a nondescript white house in a Southeast Portland neighborhood they would rather not have publicized, even though, at this point, it’s an open secret. In the past five years, more than 50 bands have played the Banana Stand, the Indiana transplants’ recording studio, label headquarters and “all-ages pseudo venue,” housed in their rental home’s 1,000-square-foot basement. Initially, their only aspiration for the space was using it to throw “kick-ass house shows.” And that’s basically what they do. Except their shows live on past the single, glorious night in which they occur. Each one is recorded and made available to the public, through their website and a short run of CDs. Their shows kick ass in perpetuity. In a music scene as ephemeral as Portland’s, that serves a crucial purpose. As celebrated as Portland is as an incubator for independent music, the city doesn’t nurture many long careers. Bands are born in great bursts, then often quickly vanish. Some leave behind albums, but that’s not the way music is consumed here. By and large, bands in Portland exist in the memories of those who saw them live. By documenting the groups that play their house, Colter, 28, and Herr, 29, are doing more than capturing a good party: They’re creating an archive of fleeting moments, and extending their lifespan. Of course, none of that was going through their minds when they first laid eyes on the room that’s become the epicenter of their lives. It didn’t look much like it does today, with its bright lights, professional-looking mixing station and burgundy and navy-blue soundproofing mats lining the walls. It was dim, dank and littered with trash left behind by past tenants. But, like a lot of young Portlanders with little use for extra storage, they were stricken by visions of awesomeness. “We were standing down here, looking over at it, and thinking, ‘Man, we’re going to do so much cool shit down here,’” Colter says. “Sometimes I’ll be standing in the exact same place and thinking

over all this time, and all these bands.” Growing up together in Plainfield, Ind., Colter and Herr cherished live records, from Zappa bootlegs to Counting Crows’ Across a Wire: Live in New York City, the first CD Colter ever owned. When they started Banana Stand, however, neither had much of a clue when it came to recording music. After abandoning a short-lived podcast—in which they would “drink too much and talk about technology,” Colter says—they used their cheap microphones, on a whim, to record their friends’ project, Lonesome Radio Heart. It evolved from there, with the duo learning as they’ve gone along. (And they’ve returned to podcasting, hosting the local music-focused Good Band Is Good.) Fifty-plus live albums later, the Banana Stand discography covers the breadth of the past half-decade of Portland music, from forgotten names like Curious Hands and Please Step Out of the Vehicle to bands with rising national profiles like Radiation City. And it’s allowed these two self-professed “band nerds” to engage with “the rock-’n’-roll music I’ve always wanted to be a part of, but don’t have any kind of skills to be,” Herr says, “and it could happen in a space we could control to some extent.” Like any house venue, Banana Stand has had to deal with the issues that accompany allowing strangers through the front door—fights, theft, public drunkenness—which have caused them to limit crowds by announcing performances exclusively by email list, and to look for more opportunities to get out of the basement: They’ve recently partnered with video production team Collective-47 to shoot bands in different settings. And if there’s anything in Portland more precarious than the music scene, it’s living situations. But Colter and Herr insist they’re not afraid of eviction. They have a good relationship with their landlord, after all. “He sees how clean we keep the bathroom,” Colter says. This is the first in a multipart series on Portland’s musical infrastructure—the people, places and institutions that allow the scene to thrive. SEE IT: Grandparents release Live From the Banana Stand at Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison St., on Thursday, Jan. 24. 8:30 pm. $5. 21+. All Banana Stand releases are also available at bananastandmedia.com. Willamette Week JANUARY 23, 2013 wweek.com

MUSIC

wednesday-saturday $15 advance, $18 day of show. All ages.

Big Business, Rabbits

[HEAVY METAL SOCIAL CLUB] I’ve heard more than a few gripes about the supposedly steep cover charge at this show, the second musical event hosted by brand-new bar-restaurant-venue White Owl Social Club. First, let’s agree that Big Business and Rabbits together is a powerful one-two punch in a venue this size, which now reportedly boasts a much-improved sound system since the renovation of former metal dive Plan B. Second, consider that the people who brought you the heyday of the Tube and the current Sizzle Pie empire know bands deserve to get paid. Covers for $5 started in the 1950s, people, a decade when the minimum wage went from 75 cents to $1. Let’s not even talk about gas prices. It’s time for change. Support the arts, or keep to the basements. NATHAN CARSON. White Owl Social Club, 1305 SE 8th Ave., 236-9672. 8 pm. $20. 21+.

FRIDAY, JAN. 25 King Britt, Natasha Kmeto, Mr. Romo, DJ Michael Grimes, DJ Keane

[REGAL TECHNO] When your parents name you King Britt, you’re pretty much destined for some kind of greatness, right? Feels like you’d be letting the world down if you chose to live a quiet life as a tax attorney named King Britt. Luckily, the 45-year-old DJ-producer with the amazing name heeded the call and has spent the past quarter-century giving house and techno a much-needed jolt of hip-hop swagger and soulful ache. The Philadelphia-born artist visits Portland on the heels of a recent trip to Zimbabwe, where he explored the country’s musical and spiritual legacy. ROBERT HAM. Someday Lounge, 125 NW 5th Ave., 248-1030. 9 pm. $10. 21+.

THURSDAY, JAN. 24

SATURDAY, JAN. 26

Shwayze, Terraplane Sun, Paul Couture

Marc Cohn, Rebecca Pidgeon

[ADULT CONTEMPORARIES] For all the names dropped in “Walking in Memphis,” Marc Cohn’s 1991 ballad didn’t become the irritatingly ubiquitous karaoke standard you’ve surely heard twice this week because adherents were equally dotty about rock-’n’-roll history. But the singersongwriter seems bent on exploiting his soulful warble and melodic knack to (arguably) honor his forebears. It’s an odd calling, one better served by the cabaret soft-rock covers of his latest release, Listening Booth: 1970, than by his last original single, “Listening to Levon.” It’s also somewhat telling that, though he reserves tribute for the men in his record collection, only Bonnie Raitt and Stevie Nicks have taken him along on their nostalgia tours. JAY HORTON. Aladdin Theater, 3017 SE Milwaukie Ave., 234-9694. 8 pm. $35 advance, $38 day of show. Under 21 permitted with legal guardian.

[BUBBLEGUM RAP] Malibu is not all mansions and manicures. Aaron Smith, aka Shwayze, can testify to that. The rapper by way of countless odd jobs grew up in one of the affluent city’s hidden trailer parks. In 2008, Shwayze officially arrived and has been turning out feelgood party anthems like “Corona and Lime” and “California Girl” ever since. Catchiness trumps edginess in Shwayze’s work, and it appears the artist is still enjoying the honeymoon phase of his success. While his lessknown work challenges some pop norms, his hits—built around a longstanding partnership with former Whitestarr frontman Cisco Adler— are the male counterpart to Ke$ha’s body-shot-inspired jams. MARK STOCK. Backspace, 115 NW 5th Ave., 248-2900. 8 pm. $15.

Niki and the Dove, Vacationer

Pinback

[POP LITE] There has perhaps never been a term more used and abused than “pop.” In the 21st century, pop is a catchall term for major-label tracks that are not “rock,” catchy tunes of any genre and an awful lot of awful music. To this reviewer, true pop should have an airiness and a sweetness, and Pinback delivers that sound. That’s not to say the band is maudlin, but it’s not earthshattering, either. It can be heard on various soundtracks (The O.C., for one), and that suits the group’s unobtrusive sound well. Light, rolling music for driving, dancing or as a toned-down soundtrack of your life: This is Pinback’s niche, and it’s filling it. MITCH LILLIE. Wonder Ballroom, 128 NE Russell St., 284-8686. 9 pm.

Willamette Week JANUARY 23, 2013 wweek.com

Wild Ones, Genders, Paper Brain

[AM SYNTH-POP] It’s hard to tell Wild Ones is a six-piece. Lilting, dreamy melodies are its forte, but without seeing the group, it would J O N AT H A N M A N N I O N

[SCANDINAVIAN NOIR] Niki and the Dove is gloriously Swedish. In a similar vein to compatriots Robyn and the Knife, the band trades in a mix of dark yet earworm-y electropop, coupled with the kind of eccentric public personas that would make you or me look like wankers. but those from the Scandinavian In this case, Malin Dahlström and Gustaf Karlöf—two of indeterminate age who may or may not be dating, and previously played in a folkrock group they won’t walk about— affect an ’80s boho aesthetic, with Dahlström sporting feathered bangs, face paint and sizable shoulder pads as she wails and whispers over Karlöf’s thundering drum and synth arrangements. But there’s way more substance than style here: The band is already a certified big deal in the U.K. and across Europe. first turning heads with 2010’s tribal dance-floor anthem “DJ, Ease My Mind,” then sealing the deal with 2012 debut LP Instinct. Now with Sub Pop behind them, the potential is there to break properly in the States. RUTH BROWN. Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside St., 231-9663. 9 pm. $13. 21+.

be easy to believe Andrew Bird and St. Vincent had just plugged into the wrong pedal board. It would have to be a diverse pedal board, though. Wild Ones is sometimes acoustic with a touch of reverb, as on “Earthquakes,” and sometimes makes blissful trips down the river, like in “Pacific,” letting audiences know just how faded the Northwestern sun is. Even if the band’s style is a little undefined, its various sounds reach out and rub everyone’s eyes awake and are best served with orange juice. The harmonies are endearing, and the group does have occasional bursts of energy. For Wild Ones, though, they’re fairly tame. MITCH LILLIE. Backspace, 115 NW 5th Ave., 248-2900. 8 pm. $7. All ages.

Dada, 7 Horse

[’90S GUITAR POP] California trio Dada is America’s local band. The group emerged in the early ’90s playing what could best be described as “aspirational bar rock,” driven by crisp guitars, clean harmonies and big drums, professional enough for the arena but unpretentious enough for the downtown dive. Naturally, the band didn’t much jibe with the era in which punk broke— although the single “Dizz Knee Land,” from 1992 debut Puzzle, became a radio staple—which is probably why it often earned comparisons to the Police. If its sound was outdated then, imagine how it comes across now. Still, as nostalgia acts go, Dada is inoffensive and middlebrow enough to slide into just about any decade and find some kind of crowd. MATTHEW SINGER. Dante’s, 350 W Burnside St., 226-6630. 8:30 pm. $18. 21+.

Tristan Prettyman

[MRAZOCHISM] A competitive surfer in adolescence and swimsuit model well before she picked up a guitar to strum breezily intelligent acoustic-chic ditties, Tristan Prettyman has lately entered into something of a full career as the long-suffering ex of Jason Mraz. Though the preoccupation might appear somewhat limiting, it’s hard to argue with the creative results. For all the effervescent joy of the couple’s duet on her 2005 debut, Twentythree, or the welcome tone

PRIMER

CONT. on page 37

BY REED JACKSON

E-40 Born: In Vallejo, Calif., in 1967. Sounds like: A sugar-tongued gangster with a flair for the dramatic. For fans of: Too Short, Rappin’ 4-Tay, Spice 1, 3x Krazy. Latest release: History: Function Music and History: Mob Music, a pair of collaborative albums with fellow Bay Area legend Too Short, are full of hard-hitting street and club anthems. Why you care: Earl Stevens, better known as E-40, is a character. He speaks in a flamboyant, Bay Area-based lingo, full of sayings like “game doofy,” “sprankle me” and the mainstream-adopted “fa shizzle.” He often raps offbeat in a slurred voice, as if his salivary glands produce maple syrup. He wears a gold-encrusted pig around his neck, and used to own a Fat Burger. He even once saved the life of Notorious B.I.G. when he prevented a gang of Sacramento goons from opening fire on the rapper’s limo after a concert. What gets lost in all this, though, is that E-40 is a tremendously reliable MC who has been releasing quality albums for two decades— whether it be his early gangster-funk records, his hyphy period (“Tell Me When to Go” remains his biggest hit) or his new street albums. What’s even more remarkable is the sheer scope of his new projects—his last one contained nearly 60 songs—and his consistency. The root of this is a true sincerity for the people and places he reps in his music, as well as a willingness to always be different. Sprankle me, 40. SEE IT: E-40 plays Roseland Theater, 8 NW 6th Ave., on Friday, Jan. 25. 8 pm. $25. All ages.

MUSIC JASoN Quigley

PROFILE

CAT DOORMAN SATURDAY, JAN. 26 [KIDZ POP] Folks in the indie world recording music for children is not new. For the past 10 years or so, dozens of artists and bands have taken either a quick detour into that universe (all the groups that have appeared on the TV show Yo Gabba Gabba!) or completely redirected the course of their careers (ex-Del Fuego Dan Zanes, Elizabeth Mitchell of Ida). The trend has surprising longevity. Even as artists like They Might Be Giants and Barenaked Ladies have returned to making music for grown-ups, plenty of others are moving into the children’s pop game, including some in Portland’s music scene. The question then becomes: What is fueling the continued success of these albums? Beyond the pure biological fact that the world is going to repopulate itself no matter what is on the stereo, is it bands looking to acquire lifelong fans from the get-go? Or is it a byproduct of liberal-minded parents doing everything to ensure their kids seem cool years before those toddlers and preteens have any conception of what “cool” is? Speaking with Julianna Bright—the drummer-vocalist for Portland band the Golden Bears and mother of a 5-year-old girl—about her foray into the children’s market, her inspiration was far less calculated. In fact, the idea didn’t begin with her. “My friends run an app company in town,” she says. “They asked me, if I was going to make an app for kids, what would it look like? They wanted to make three apps together, each one with music and artwork by me.” The first app uses Bright’s version of the kid’s classic “Little Red Wagon” (recorded with Decemberists Chris Funk and Jenny Conlee) as well as hundreds of her illustrations. Inspired by the process, Bright moved forward with a full collection of tunes. Recorded under the name Cat Doorman, the album Songbook features some jazz-inflected pop tunes that lean slightly on the folk tradition, and even includes a bubbly version of Syd Barrett’s “Effervescing Elephant.” But what does she think about the still-thriving kid’s music market that has inspired folks like her and fellow locals such as Laura Veirs and Jefferson Craig of Gamma Knife to record tunes for youngsters? “I think that something happens when you are a creative person that has a kid,” Bright says. “I know I found myself wanting to make little capsules for my kid that evokes my worldview or a worldview I want to share with her. And for people who have been playing music for a long time, this is kind of a gentle little offering that they can bring forth.” And, she says, the tone of the surprisingly complex music and stories being told on Songbook are meant to engage audiences both young and old. “I feel like that’s a really important component of it,” she says. “I’m writing as much about the open-heartedness of kids, and the capacity that they have for joy and loneliness, as I am about the experience that having a child brings those ideas back into your life.” ROBERT HAM.

Julianna Bright gets childish.

SEE IT: Cat Doorman plays Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., with Twisted Whistle, on Saturday, Jan. 26. 3 pm. Adults: $8 advance, $10 day of show; children (12 and under): $6 advance, $8 day of show. Willamette Week JANUARY 23, 2013 wweek.com

MUSIC R E D WA N T I N G B L U E . C O M

PROFILE

3551 SE Division open 7-7 every day

RED WANTING BLUE THURSDAY AND SUNDAY, JAN. 24, 27 After 15 years on the Midwestern college circuit, Ohio’s consummate bar-rock band arrives in Oregon.

[COLLEGE ROCK] If you attended college anywhere between Buffalo and Chicago in the last decade, you need no introduction to Red Wanting Blue. Founded when Tupac was still alive and Bob Dole was running for president, the Columbus, Ohio-based rock band was the most relentless regional rock act of its era, playing 125 shows a year, from Bloomington, Ind., to Davenport, Iowa, to Ashtabula, Ohio. Maybe you saw RWB open for Our Lady Peace or the Clarks. If not, probably playing some frat party where a couch was burned. Or, like me, at a club shuttered after an alleged rape involving the Girls Gone Wild crew. You know this band even if you don’t know this band: basic bar rock flavored by a Budweiser baritone playing the college circuits that eventually barfed out O.A.R., Dave Matthews Band and Hootie. RWB had not broken through nationally—no record deal, television appearances or radio support beyond 2000’s regional hit “Venus 55”—until recently. Somehow, though, the band is in Oregon for the first time, playing McMenamins clubs over two weeks, after finally performing on Letterman, NPR and VH1. “It’s a long road,” says singer and lone original member Scott Terry. “It’s taken me 15 years to figure it out—to find a way just to get to Portland.” It’s pretty much the same band, too, down to the logo—imagine if Pearl Jam’s stickman had fucked a heartagram. “My girlfriend of 13 years lives in Brooklyn, so I have an address there. I could have changed the name and said we were a hipster band,” Terry says. “But I’m not that guy—I’m not cool, and I’m from Columbus.” Terry does dress a little differently now. Early on, he wore blue spiked hair and sleeveless T-shirts. Then, top hats and makeup. Now, it’s snap-button Western shirts. “Some of the worst decisions I’ve ever made in my life were band photos or haircuts,” he says. Those issues were also behind Terry’s 2005 split from his longtime collaborator and guitarist, Brian Epp. Seven years later, he says the two still don’t speak. “By the end, he was like, ‘I’ll wear pink leather pants and eyeliner if that’s what it takes to get signed,’” Terry says. “And I wasn’t into that.” Terry has also had to rebuild the band’s fan base every few years, after his crowds graduate, have kids or move. “When the party fades and the girls aren’t there, you see there’s an ebb and flow to things,” he says. “Maybe you were there in Kent [Ohio] in 2004 and there were a lot of people, and two years later there was nobody there.” Fortune is now smiling on RWB: Rural is chic, folk rock hasn’t been this big since Dylan went electric, and even the baritone ukulele Terry picked up to write songs eight years ago is newly cool. “I broke my hand too many times when I was a stupid kid falling off the roof, and the ukulele has only four strings, which are nylon, and it’s easier on my hand than a guitar,” he says. “I’ll be honest with you: Eight years ago, it was not considered cool to play a baritone ukulele.” MARTIN CIZMAR. SEE IT: Red Wanting Blue plays Kennedy School, 5736 NE 33rd Ave., on Thursday, Jan. 24. 7 pm. Free. All ages. It also plays Lola’s Room at the Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside St., on Sunday, Jan. 27. 6:30 pm. Free. 21+. 36

Willamette Week JANUARY 23, 2013 wweek.com

saturday-tuesday of sardonic bemusement caused by momentary breakup on sophomore album Hello..x, autumn release Cedar Gold binds the San Diego native’s devastation to simmering electronica and uncovers new depths within her songwriting, however woeful the process of excavation. JAY HORTON. Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside St., 2319663. 9 pm. $15. 21+.

The Walkmen, Father John Misty

[CROONER ROCK] I’m not sure the Walkmen will ever be the stadium-packing act they deserve to be. But then, that’s good news for those of us who like seeing blockbuster shows in relatively intimate venues. Tonight’s Wonder Ballroom gig should fit that description. Last year’s Heaven continues the band’s rich tradition of balancing classic-sounding punk-y anthems (“Heartbreaker,” “Heaven”) with soul-searching ballads (“We Can’t Be Beat,” “Dreamboat”) that test the elasticity of frontman Hamilton Leithauser’s vocal cords. If that’s not reason enough to go, maybe treat it as a second New Year’s Eve party: The Walkmen’s “In the New Year” is among the greatest (and most heart-wrenching) songs ever written on the subject. CASEY JARMAN. Roseland Theater, 8 NW 6th Ave., 224-2038. 9 pm. $22. All ages.

Mic Crenshaw with Radical Klavical, Rafael Vigilantics, Jana Losey & the Tuesday Project Cray, DJ Grimm Rock

[HIP-HOP CRUSADER] Mic Crenshaw has been around the block. Now, he’s going around the world. One of Portland hiphop’s most tireless vets, the rapper is almost as well-known for his community service as his tough, socially conscious rhymes. In the ’80s, back when he was living in Minneapolis, he founded an organization to oppose the city’s rampant white supremacist gangs. In 2007, Crenshaw attended a human rights conference in Rwanda, inspiring him to form Global Fam, a nonprofit group that helped establish a computer center in Burundi. And in March, he’s looking to return to the continent with the Afrikan Hip-Hop Caravan, touring six cities and hosting workshops related to artbased social movements. Ninety percent of the proceeds from the door at this show will go toward his travel expenses. It’s a worthy donation, if for no other reason than the experience will certainly fuel some fierce, intelligent music from Crenshaw in the future. MATTHEW SINGER. The Know, 2026 NE Alberta St., 473-8729. 8 pm. $6. 21+.

SUNDAY, JAN. 27 Hot Buttered Rum, Sassparilla, Ashleigh Flynn, Mimi Naja With Brad Parsons, Floating Pointe, the Blackberry Bushes

[POPGRASS] There’s an understandable, if unfair, tendency to automatically think “bluegrass” whenever a string band rears its head, but that’s a convention San Francisco quintet Hot Buttered Rum is more than happy to dispel. Over the course of a decade, and most starkly on 2009’s Limbs Akimbo, the band has evolved out of the jamboree mold, embracing traditional string music and infusing it with a slick pop sensibility, progressive signatures and improvised rock explosions that place it close to the String Cheese Incident without going overboard on the self-indulgent jamming. The band headlines the Crystal’s birthday bash, which also includes more traditional Seattle trio the Blackberry Bushes and rowdy PDX outfit Sassparilla. AP KRYZA. Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside St., 225-0047. 6 pm. $10. All ages.

MUSIC

Willy Mason, Hip Hatchet

[OLD-SOUL FOLK] Raised in Martha’s Vineyard by a couple of folk singers, Willy Mason has songwriting in his blood. The 28-yearold guitarist resembles a young Neil Young, in that you’d never associate such a worn-through, slow-motion, bellowing voice with someone his age. He sings like a graying philosopher, crafting astute lyrical accounts of the many social and political hang-ups inherent in today’s America. Last year, Mason released his first record in five years, Carry On, demonstrating that while the New York-based altcountry songwriter takes his sweet time, it’s always worth the wait. MARK STOCK. Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside St., 231-9663. 9 pm. $12. 21+.

The Hugs, Mojave Bird, Hypnogogue

[JANGLE GARAGE] “I love the Hugs. They’re kind of like the Libertines but are taking it all from their own direction,” claimed Libertine Carl Barât in a 2007 NME interview. Elements of the garage revival play big parts in both bands’ sounds. But if the Hugs and the Libertines are in the same garage, the Libertines are rebuilding a transmission while the Hugs practice their harmonies in a corner. And oh, what harmonies. The vocals, especially on 2012’s Dirty Gems EP, sound a lot closer to the psych-folk aural rainbows of the Byrds than any garage rockers we know. The Hugs became a Portland staple when they were signed to Columbia while students at Cleveland High School, and if anything they’re more legendary now that they’re independent. . MITCH LILLIE. Valentine’s, 232 SW Ankeny St., 248-1600. 8 pm. Call venue for ticket information. 21+.

TUESDAY, JAN. 29 The Lower 48, Glossary, Incredible Yacht Control

[ACOUSTIC FOLK] In 2009, the young outfit known as the Lower 48 left Minneapolis to dwell among the Northwest’s booming folk scene. As its name suggests, the Portland-based trio’s music rummages through ideas of travel and exploration, as well as the usual musings of wandering musicians. Behind the quiet combination of male-female vocals from Ben Braden and Sarah Parson, the group uses mainly acoustic instruments, particularly guitars, strings, percussion and, occasionally, a horn or two. On its self-released 2011 album, Where All Maps End, hints of promising experimentation arise, suggesting the band’s noncommittal relationship to its popular genre, such as the subtle infusion of electronic effects and the distant sound of lo-fi recordings. These kids have the chops and curiosity to make an impression, so I’m looking forward to hearing where they journey to next. EMILEE BOOHER. Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., 288-3895. 9 pm. $8. 21+.

Tyler Bryant and the Shakedown

[BLUES ROCK] Tyler Bryant makes blistering, balls-out rock ’n’ roll. There are times when the band’s music recalls the crunchy aggressiveness of Jet and the bluesy vibe of modern greats like Jonny Lang, and it’s no secret this band is here to make you air guitar to your heart’s content and revel in the guitar solos that come left and right. Bryant’s thin, somewhat abrasive voice is a hit-or-miss deal, unfortunately. His singing ability is iffy, but he has passion, charisma and throaty howls to even things out a bit. When the band sticks to blitzkrieg rockers or swamp-rock tracks instead of the occasional misguided ballad, they blow the roof off the house. BRIAN PALMER. Peter’s Room, 8 NW 6th Ave., 219-9929. 8 pm. $10. All ages.

Willamette Week JANUARY 23, 2013 wweek.com

MUSIC CALENDAR

Jan. 23-29 Brass Menazeri, Opa Groupa (9 pm); Hack, Stitch, and Buckshot (6 pm)

= WW Pick. Highly recommended. Editor: Jonathan Frochtzwajg. TO HAVE YOUR EVENT LISTED, send show information at least two weeks in advance on the web at wweek.com/submitevents or (if you book a specific venue) enter your events at dbmonkey.com/wweek. Press kits, CDs and especially vinyl can be sent to Music Desk, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Please include show or release date information with all physical mailings. Email: music@wweek.com.

Sellwood Public House 8132 SE 13th Ave. Open Mic

Slabtown

For more listings, check out wweek.com. LIz DEVINE

1033 NW 16th Ave. Roseland Hunters

Someday Lounge

125 NW 5th Ave. Hannah Glavor, Hi Ho Silver Oh, Charlyne Yi, Caroline Belk

Tiger Bar

317 NW Broadway Karaoke from Hell

Tonic Lounge

al’s den at the Crystal Hotel 303 SW 12th Ave. Ezza Rose

andina

1314 NW Glisan St. Toshi Onizuka

ash Street Saloon

225 SW Ash St. The Sindicate, Abadawn, the Modern Golem

Brasserie Montmartre 626 SW Park Ave. Zac Allen

Club 21

2035 NE Glisan St. Minoton, Fruit of the Legion of Loom, Snarl

doug Fir Lounge

830 E Burnside St. Pierced Arrows, Wooden Indian Burial Ground, Don’t

duff’s Garage

1635 SE 7th Ave. Suburban Slim’s Blues Jam (9 pm); High Flyer Trio (6 pm)

east Burn

1800 E Burnside St. Irish Jam

east end

203 SE Grand Ave. Rich Hands, Charts, Bath Party

Goodfoot Lounge 2845 SE Stark St. Klozd Sirkut

Hawthorne Theatre

3862 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Whitechapel, Emmure, Unearth, Obey the Brave, the Plot in You

Ivories Jazz Lounge and Restaurant 1435 NW Flanders St. The Brazillionaires

Jade Lounge

2346 SE Ankeny St. Karyn Ann

Jimmy Mak’s

221 NW 10th Ave. The Mel Brown Quartet

Landmark Saloon

4847 SE Division St. Jake Ray (9 pm); Bob Shoemaker (6 pm)

LaurelThirst

2958 NE Glisan St. Denim Wedding, AnneMarie Sanderson, Blue Blockers (9 pm); Scott Law (6 pm)

Lents Commons

9201 SE Foster Road

Mississippi Pizza

3552 N Mississippi Ave. Sidestreet Reny (9:30 pm); Mr. Hoo (12 pm)

Mississippi Studios

3939 N Mississippi Ave. Ken Stringfellow (of R.E.M.), the Maldives

Music Millennium

3158 E Burnside St. Ken Stringfellow

newmark Theatre

1111 SW Broadway Tommy Emmanuel

Roseland Theater 8 NW 6th Ave. Down, Warbeast

Someday Lounge 125 NW 5th Ave. Mbrascatu

The Blue diamond

alberta Rose Theatre 3000 NE Alberta St. Darryl Purpose, Adam East, Kris Deelane

andina

1314 NW Glisan St. Matices

artichoke Community Music 3130A SE Hawthorne Blvd. Open Mic

ash Street Saloon

225 SW Ash St. Hyborian Rage, Heathen Shrine, Bizarre Dead, Machetaso Profano

Backspace

115 NW 5th Ave. Shwayze, Terraplane Sun, Paul Couture

Brasserie Montmartre

2016 NE Sandy Blvd. The Fenix Project

626 SW Park Ave. Paul Paresa and the People

The Lovecraft

Bula Kava House

421 SE Grand Ave. Ogo Eion

The Press Club

2621 SE Clinton St. Everything’s Jake

Thirsty Lion

71 SW 2nd Ave. Jordan Harris

Thorne Lounge

4260 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Open Mic

Tony Starlight’s

3728 NE Sandy Blvd. Julie Irmer, Jan Koenig, Rita Marquez

Valentine’s

232 SW Ankeny St. The Sorry Devils, Dead Cat Spirit, Jacob Miller and the Bridge

Vie de Boheme

1530 SE 7th Ave. The Djangophiles

White eagle Saloon

836 N Russell St. Detective, the Memories

3115 SE Division St. Fringe Class

Camellia Lounge 510 NW 11th Ave. Andrew Goodwin

Chapel Pub

430 N Killingsworth St. Steve Kerin

Club 21

2035 NE Glisan St. Dinner for Wolves, Mother’s Whiskey, Broken Bodies

doug Fir Lounge

830 E Burnside St. Niki and the Dove, Vacationer

duff’s Garage

1635 SE 7th Ave. Bordertown (9 pm); Tough Lovepyle (6 pm)

east Burn

1800 E Burnside St. Eat off Your Banjo Bluegrass

east end

White Owl Social Club

203 SE Grand Ave. Beards of Yeast

Wilfs Restaurant & Bar

2505 SE 11th Ave. Dr. Christopher Metro

1305 SE 8th Ave. Big Business, Rabbits 800 NW 6th Ave. Ron Steen Band with David Watson

THuRS. Jan. 24 al’s den at the Crystal Hotel 303 SW 12th Ave. Ezza Rose

Willamette Week JANUARY 23, 2013 wweek.com

Ford Food and drink

Holocene

1001 SE Morrison St. Grandparents, Paper Brain, Still Caves

Ivories Jazz Lounge and Restaurant

3100 NE Sandy Blvd. Michael the Blind, Stop Motion Poetry, Eventuals

Tony Starlight’s

3728 NE Sandy Blvd. Reece Marshburn and Tony Starlight

Jade Lounge

White eagle Saloon

Jimmy Mak’s

221 NW 10th Ave. The Mel Brown B3 Organ Group

Kelly’s Olympian

426 SW Washington St. Delaney & Paris, Juicy Karkass, Sharks from Mars, the Hooded Fang

Kenton Club

2025 N Kilpatrick St. The Spiricles

Landmark Saloon

4847 SE Division St. The Pickups (8:30 pm); Chris Miller Band (6 pm)

LaurelThirst

2958 NE Glisan St. Lynn Conover, Dan Haley, Jim Boyer, Miss Jessie Spero, Tim Acott (9 pm); Old Flames (6 pm)

Mississippi Pizza

3552 N Mississippi Ave. Sirloin Sunrise (9 pm); Wicky Pickers (6 pm)

Mississippi Studios

3939 N Mississippi Ave. The Parson Red Heads, He’s My Brother She’s My Sister, Rayland Baxter

Mock Crest Tavern 3435 N Lombard St. Carl Solomon

Muddy Rudder Public House 8105 SE 7th Ave. Gabrielle MaCrae

Original Halibut’s II 2527 NE Alberta St. Terry Robb

Portland State university

2845 SE Stark St. Scott Pemberton Trio, Sophistafunk

Hawthorne Theatre

Roseland Theater

3862 SE Hawthorne Blvd. The Overseer, Fit for a King, How the West Was Won, Upon a Broken Path, Subtle City

Tonic Lounge

Vie de Boheme

1825 SW Broadway Omar Offendum (film screening, panel discussion and music performance)

Goodfoot Lounge

3100 NE Sandy Blvd. Open Mic

1435 NW Flanders St. Tom Grant with the Young Up ‘n’ Comers

2346 SE Ankeny St. Andrew Russell, K’lyn Bain, Brian Bays, Rachael Miles

8 NW 6th Ave. Aesop Rock, Rob Sonic, Busdriver, DJ Big Wiz

Secret Society Lounge 116 NE Russell St.

Bossanova Ballroom

doug Fir Lounge

Roseland Theater

830 E Burnside St. Kris Orlowski, Great Wilderness, dKOTA

duff’s Garage

east Burn

71 SW 2nd Ave. Sammi Rouissi

Open Mic

Reed College, Vollum Lecture Hall

The Firkin Tavern

Thirsty Lion

Wed. Jan. 23

6000 NE Glisan St. Jim Boyer (9:30 pm); Jenny Sizzler (6 pm)

2016 NE Sandy Blvd. Ben Jones

2026 NE Alberta St. Soft Shadows, Popular Culture, Fang Moon

1530 SE 7th Ave. Everything’s Jake 836 N Russell St. Inspirational Beets (8:30 pm); Brothers of the Hound (5:30 pm)

Wilfs Restaurant & Bar 800 NW 6th Ave. Randy Porter Trio

Wonder Ballroom

128 NE Russell St. Pinback

FRI. Jan. 25 al’s den at the Crystal Hotel 303 SW 12th Ave. Ezza Rose

aladdin Theater

3017 SE Milwaukie Ave. Brant Colella, Patrick Hammond, Sarah Billings, Katie Carlene

alberta Rose Theatre 3000 NE Alberta St. Tony Starlight (Neil Diamond tribute)

andina

1314 NW Glisan St. Dan Diresta Quartet

artichoke Community Music

3130A SE Hawthorne Blvd. Friday Night Coffeehouse

ash Street Saloon

225 SW Ash St. Faithless Saints, Dirty Kid Discount, Clackamas Baby Killers, Yo Adrian!

Backspace

115 NW 5th Ave. Southgate, Wayfarer, the Diggers, Guillotine, Whispers of Wonder

Biddy McGraw’s

1800 E Burnside St. Andrew’s Ave.

east end

203 SE Grand Ave. IX, Holy Grove, Lazzaro

Ford Food and drink

2505 SE 11th Ave. Ray Ottoboni (late show); Daniel Mateo (early show)

Habesha

801 NE Broadway Old Light, Au Dunes

Hawthorne Theatre

3862 SE Hawthorne Blvd. The Rodeo Clowns, the Punctuals, Ill Lucid Onset, Mohawk Yard, Dead Remedy

Ivories Jazz Lounge and Restaurant

1435 NW Flanders St. The Sean & Fred Show

Jade Lounge

5474 NE Sandy Blvd. On-Q Band

Secret Society Lounge

116 NE Russell St. Amanda Breese, Jenna Ellefson, Miss Michael Jodell, Jody Katopothis, Lara Michell, Stephanie Schneiderman, Colleen Raney (Emmylou Harris tribute show, 9 pm); Pete Krebs and His Portland Playboys (6 pm)

Slim’s Cocktail Bar

8635 N Lombard St. Father Figure, Bleach Blonde Dudes

The Blue diamond

2016 NE Sandy Blvd. Under Cover Band

The Blue Monk

3341 SE Belmont St. Bridgetown Sextet

The Firkin Tavern

1937 SE 11th Ave. Plethora! Fest: Pinehurst Kids, Irie Idea, Sam Wegman, Bubble Cats, Ramune Rocket 3

The Know

2026 NE Alberta St. Silent Numbers, For the Lash, Child Children

Brasserie Montmartre 626 SW Park Ave. Paul Paresa and the People

Buffalo Gap Saloon

6835 SW Macadam Ave. Rockin’ Piano Party with Jorge Ramirez

Camellia Lounge 510 NW 11th Ave. Tabor Jazz Trio

Club 21

2035 NE Glisan St. The Slidells, K-Tel ‘79, Little Volcano

Clyde’s Prime Rib

5474 NE Sandy Blvd. Planet Krypton

dante’s

350 W Burnside St. Dada, 7 Horse, Jerad Finck

doug Fir Lounge

830 E Burnside St. Tristan Prettyman, Paul Cannon

ducketts Public House 825 N Killingsworth St. Dwight Dickinson, the Double Deuce, Joe Little, Toxic Rock

duff’s Garage

1635 SE 7th Ave. The Fondells

The Press Club

203 SE Grand Ave. Di Di Mau, Dandelions, Donovan Breakwater, Suamout

The TaRdIS Room

Fifteenth avenue Hophouse

221 NW 10th Ave. Chance Hayden, Nicole Berke

Katie O’Briens

2809 NE Sandy Blvd. Drats!!!, Christian Martucci, Diamond Lane, Future Villains

Kelly’s Olympian

426 SW Washington St. Butt 2 Butt, Cotton, Comfort Zone

Kenton Club

2025 N Kilpatrick St. Hong Kong Banana

Landmark Saloon

4847 SE Division St. Countryside Ride (9 pm); WC Beck (6 pm)

LaurelThirst

2958 NE Glisan St. Chris Marshall, Krista Herring, Vinny D. (9:30 pm); Alice Stuart (6 pm)

Mississippi Pizza

3552 N Mississippi Ave. Saloon Ensemble, Lone Madrone (9 pm); Brad Creel & the Reel Deel (6 pm)

Mississippi Studios

3939 N Mississippi Ave. Sean Croghan and Steve Birch, Future Proof with Nathan Jr. and Ryan Stowe, Chris Robley and the Fear of Heights, Jim Brunberg, Plucker

Muddy Rudder Public House 8105 SE 7th Ave. Dan McCoy

Music Millennium

3158 E Burnside St. Howard Wade

nel Centro

1408 SW 6th Ave. Mike Pardew

O’Connor’s Vault

Clyde’s Prime Rib

8 NW 6th Ave. E-40, Maniac Lok, Yo!-X, J-Phenom

722 E Burnside St. Covers and Blankets (open mic Janus Youth Program benefit)

Jimmy Mak’s

Brasserie Montmartre

510 NW 11th Ave. Andre St. James Quartet

3203 SE Woodstock Blvd. Dr. Demento

The Lovecraft

noho’s Hawaiian Cafe

Camellia Lounge

2530 NE 82nd Ave. The Crawlers

2346 SE Ankeny St. Christopher Reyne (8 pm); Fireflyz (6 pm)

6000 NE Glisan St. Funk Shui (9:30 pm); Lynn Conover (6 pm) 626 SW Park Ave. Nicole Glover Trio

Biddy McGraw’s

Red Room

The Blue diamond

The Know

Ixe Ixe I Grec, Voices

1332 W Burnside St. School of Rock’s Best of Portland (student performance with members of Red Fang, Typhoon, Portugal. The Man, Lost Lander and Radiation City)

1635 SE 7th Ave. The Sportin’ Lifers, Suburban Slim Band with Jim Wallace (9 pm); The Hamdogs (6 pm)

1937 SE 11th Ave. Plethora! Fest: Harvey Girls, Drunk on Pines, the Betwixties, Dramady, Sam Densmore

GInGeR KIdS: The Parson Red Heads play Mississippi Studios on Thursday, Jan. 24. Read emilee Booher’s review of their reissued album, Yearling, on wweek.com.

Crystal Ballroom

4627 NE Fremont St. Hawaiian Music 7850 SW Capitol Highway John Bunzow Band

Original Halibut’s II

2527 NE Alberta St. Larry Pindar with Best of Friends

Record Room

8 NE Killingsworth St.

421 SE Grand Ave. Splintered in Her Head 2621 SE Clinton St. Don of Division St. 1218 N Killingsworth St. Arthur Moore

Thirsty Lion

71 SW 2nd Ave. Reverend Hammer

Tonic Lounge

3100 NE Sandy Blvd. Prizehog, Johnny De Courcey, Big Black Cloud

Tony Starlight’s

3728 NE Sandy Blvd. Bureau of Standards Big Band with Matthew Gailey and Kat Cogswell

White eagle Saloon

836 N Russell St. Lewi Longmire & the Left Coast Roasters, Mexican Gunfight (9:30 pm); Reverb Brothers (5:30 pm)

Wilfs Restaurant & Bar 800 NW 6th Ave. Tony Pacini Trio

SaT. Jan. 26

east end

1517 NE Brazee St. Rogue Bluegrass Band

Ford Food and drink 2505 SE 11th Ave. Kathryn Claire

Goodfoot Lounge

2845 SE Stark St. Sugarcane String Band, Good Gravy

Hawthorne Hophouse 4111 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Kelsey Morris

Hawthorne Theatre

3862 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Chelsea Grin, I Declare War, At the Skylines, Upon This Dawning, Verah Falls, Assyria

Jade Lounge

2346 SE Ankeny St. The Brazen Thistles, Friendship Valley (8 pm); Kenny Grylls (6 pm)

Jimmy Mak’s

221 NW 10th Ave. Soul Vaccination

al’s den at the Crystal Hotel

Katie O’Briens

aladdin Theater

Kelly’s Olympian

303 SW 12th Ave. Ezza Rose

3017 SE Milwaukie Ave. Marc Cohn, Rebecca Pidgeon

andina

1314 NW Glisan St. Toshi Onizuka Trio

artichoke Community Music 3130A SE Hawthorne Blvd. Cozy Sheridan

ash Street Saloon

225 SW Ash St. Stoneburner, Ninth Moon Black, Gaytheist, Rohit

Backspace

115 NW 5th Ave. Wild Ones, Genders, Paper Brain

Bar of the Gods

4801 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Horus

Beulahland

118 NE 28th Ave Listen Lady

2809 NE Sandy Blvd. Disenchanter, Boneworm, Bellwether 426 SW Washington St. The Mucks, Tiananmen Bear, Fasters, Holy Tentacles

Kenton Club

2025 N Kilpatrick St. A Happy Death, Ramune Rocket 3, Bubble Cats

Landmark Saloon

4847 SE Division St. Get Rhythm

LaurelThirst

2958 NE Glisan St. The Basinbillies, Father’s Pocket Watch, Sulfur Valley Wranglers (9:30 pm); the James Low Western Front (6 pm)

Mississippi Pizza

3552 N Mississippi Ave. The Jim-Jams (9 pm); Sons of Malarkey (6 pm); The Alphabeticians (4 pm)

Mississippi Studios

3939 N Mississippi Ave.

Jan. 23-29 BAR SPOTLIGHT mike grippi

My Mantle, Reign Cycle, the Hostilities, Lumus, Lukeus, Mursa, Metamantra, Tempr, Barons of Industry, Youngsun

Jade Lounge

2346 SE Ankeny St. Morgan Quin

Landmark Saloon

4847 SE Division St. Jake Ray and Ian Miller

LaurelThirst

2958 NE Glisan St. Dan Haley & Tim Acott (9:30 pm); Freak Mountain Family (6 pm)

Lola’s Room at the Crystal Ballroom 1332 W Burnside St. Red Wanting Blue

Mississippi Pizza

3552 N Mississippi Ave. Lazy Champions

DO THE BREW: If you’re not riding or chaperoning, the best time to show up at the bar inside The Lumberyard (2700 NE 82nd Ave., 252-2453, lumberyardmtb.com) is about 8:15 pm on a Tuesday. That’s when riders at the weekly BMX session are warmed up enough to try challenging tricks that will occasionally force them from their frames at this indoor mountain-bike park, located inside a converted bowling alley. As far as free entertainment at Portland bars goes, it’s hard to beat this show. The bar and restaurant are wisely situated facing the biggest ramps, so you can enjoy your own private X Games, with flips and spins aplenty, as you relax on the bar stools munching on Carolina-style pulled pork sliders (three for $7.95) and sipping an Oakshire Overcast Espresso Stout or Base Camp Paölschenbier. The pub fare and tap list are solid, but you’re more likely to end up here looking for endos, not nachos. MARTIN CIZMAR.

Muddy Rudder Public House 8105 SE 7th Ave. Irish Music

Music Millennium

3158 E Burnside St. Moh Alileche

NEPO 42

5403 NE 42nd Ave. Open Mic

O’Connor’s Vault 7850 SW Capitol Highway Side Pocket

Reed College, Vollum Lecture Hall

3203 SE Woodstock Blvd. Dr. Demento

Rontoms

600 E Burnside St. Highway, Mount Mazama

Slabtown Elephant Revival, Big E (9 pm); Cat Doorman, Twisted Whistle (3 pm)

Mount Tabor Theater

4811 SE Hawthorne Blvd. The Georgetown Orbits, Chris Murray, Original Middleage Ska Enjoy Club, the Sentiments, DJ Mikey-Oh (concert hall); Spongecake & the Flufframblers, the Real, Cody’s Wheel (lounge)

Muddy Rudder Public House 8105 SE 7th Ave. James Clem

Nel Centro

1408 SW 6th Ave. Mike Pardew, Dave Captein, Randy Rollofson

Noho’s Hawaiian Cafe 4627 NE Fremont St. Hawaiian Music

Original Halibut’s II 2527 NE Alberta St. Big Monti

Record Room

Appetite for Deception (Guns N’ Roses tribute), Shoot to Thrill (AC/DC tribute) (9 pm); School of Rock (Metallica tribute show, 3 pm)

TaborSpace

5441 SE Belmont St. Padam Padam

The Blue Diamond

2016 NE Sandy Blvd. Norman Sylvester

The Blue Monk

3341 SE Belmont St. NIK

The Firkin Tavern

1937 SE 11th Ave. Plethora! Fest: HeadShapes, the Century, Vanessa Rogers, the Weather Machine

The Know

2026 NE Alberta St. Mic Crenshaw with Radical Klavical, Rafael Vigilantics, Jana Losey & the Tuesday Project Cray, DJ Grimm Rock

8 NE Killingsworth St. Emotional, Haste, Sun Fun

The Lovecraft

Reed College, Vollum Lecture Hall

The Old Church

3203 SE Woodstock Blvd. Dr. Demento

Roseland Theater

8 NW 6th Ave. The Walkmen, Father John Misty

Slabtown

1033 NW 16th Ave. Jori and the Push, Hot LZs, Brigadier

Slim’s Cocktail Bar 8635 N Lombard St. Wizard Boots, Drain Capitol

Someday Lounge

125 NW 5th Ave. Northeast Northwest, the Druthers, Peter Rodocker & So It Is, Tyler Stenson

Star Bar

639 SE Morrison St. Boom!, White Fang, Meercaz

Star Theater

13 NW 6th Ave.

421 SE Grand Ave. Regal Nonchalant 1422 SW 11th Ave. Solid Brass

The Press Club

2621 SE Clinton St. The Low Bones

The TARDIS Room

1218 N Killingsworth St. Shadowhouse, Friendship, Kingdom of the Holy Sun

The Waypost

3120 N Williams Ave. Gridlords

Thirsty Lion

71 SW 2nd Ave. Boys Next Door

Tonic Lounge

3100 NE Sandy Blvd. The Kilowatt Hour, the Applicants, David Paulik

Tony Starlight’s

3728 NE Sandy Blvd. The Tony Starlight Show

Velo Cult

1969 NE 42nd Ave. Raw Nerves, Old City, Mass Exit, Clasc

Vie de Boheme 1530 SE 7th Ave. Mitzi Zilka

White Eagle Saloon

836 N Russell St. Albatross, Great Wilderness, New Move (9 pm); the Student Loan (4:30 pm)

Wilfs Restaurant & Bar 800 NW 6th Ave. Devin Phillips Quartet

SuN. JAN. 27 Al’s Den at the Crystal Hotel 303 SW 12th Ave. Mimi Naja (of Fruition)

Alberta Rose Theatre 3000 NE Alberta St. Cal Scott

Andina

1033 NW 16th Ave. Holiday Mom, the Cool Whips, the Ecstatics

The Blue Monk

Tube

18 NW 3rd Ave. Antikythera, Cold Blue Mountain, Old City, DJ Dungeonmaster

Valentine’s

232 SW Ankeny St. The Hugs, Mojave Bird, Hypnogogue

Vie de Boheme

1314 NW Glisan St. Danny Romero

Ash Street Saloon

White Eagle Saloon

836 N Russell St. Kelly Anne Masigat, Jon Rankin, Streetnik

Biddy McGraw’s

6000 NE Glisan St. Felim Egan

Clyde’s Prime Rib

5474 NE Sandy Blvd. Ron Steen Jazz Jam

Crystal Ballroom

1332 W Burnside St. Hot Buttered Rum, Sassparilla, Ashleigh Flynn, Mimi Naja with Brad Parsons, Floating Pointe, the Blackberry Bushes

Dante’s

350 W Burnside St. Transcendental Brass Band

Doug Fir Lounge

830 E Burnside St. Willy Mason, Hip Hatchet

Ford Food and Drink 2505 SE 11th Ave. Tim Roth

Hawthorne Theatre 3862 SE Hawthorne Blvd.

LaurelThirst

2958 NE Glisan St. Kung Pao Chickens (9 pm); Portland Country Underground (6 pm)

Mississippi Pizza

3552 N Mississippi Ave. Mr. Ben

MON. JAN. 28 Al’s Den at the Crystal Hotel 303 SW 12th Ave. Mimi Naja (of Fruition)

Andina

1314 NW Glisan St. Pete Krebs

Ash Street Saloon 225 SW Ash St. Open Mic

Dante’s

350 W Burnside St. Karaoke from Hell

Doug Fir Lounge 830 E Burnside St. Rival Sons

219 NW Davis St. Trick with DJ Robb

Someday Lounge

Rotture

125 NW 5th Ave. Josh Hoke

The Blue Diamond

315 SE 3rd Ave. DJ Tan’t, Regular Music, Hats Off, DJ Kev It Up

White Eagle Saloon

639 SE Morrison St. DJ Overcol

2016 NE Sandy Blvd. Sumo 836 N Russell St. Rare Monk, Fanno Creek, Pheasant

TuES. JAN. 29 Al’s Den at the Crystal Hotel 303 SW 12th Ave. Mimi Naja (of Fruition)

Andina

1314 NW Glisan St. Neftali Rivera

Backspace

115 NW 5th Ave. Father’s Pocket Watch, Sam Cauthorn, Idito the Chicken and Moonpie Robot, Chris Bibby

Bunk Bar

1028 SE Water Ave. Eidolons, A Thousand Swords

Duff’s Garage

2845 SE Stark St. Radula

Ivories Jazz Lounge and Restaurant

1435 NW Flanders St. Ron Steen Jam Session

Jade Lounge

2346 SE Ankeny St. Cynthia O’Brien

Jimmy Mak’s

221 NW 10th Ave. The Mel Brown Septet

LaurelThirst

2958 NE Glisan St. Groove Session (9 pm); Jackstraw (6 pm)

Mississippi Pizza

3552 N Mississippi Ave. Arlo Leach (National Kazoo Day show)

Mississippi Studios

3939 N Mississippi Ave. The Lower 48, Glossary, Incredible Yacht Control

Peter’s Room

8 NW 6th Ave. Tyler Bryant and the Shakedown, Ty Curtis Band, Root Jack

The Blue Diamond

2016 NE Sandy Blvd. Margo Tufo with Doug Rowell

The Blue Monk

3341 SE Belmont St. Pagan Jug Band

Thirsty Lion

71 SW 2nd Ave. PDX Singer-Songwriter Showcase

Valentine’s

White Eagle Saloon

2346 SE Ankeny St. Jaime Leopold

CC Slaughters

8105 SE 7th Ave. Lloyd Jones

Goodfoot Lounge

Jade Lounge

412 NE Beech St. DJ Doug Ferious

736 SE Grand Ave. Pussy Control: Nathan Detroit, Black Dog

Duff’s Garage

2845 SE Stark St. Open Mic

Beech Street Parlor

Dig a Pony

232 SW Ankeny St. Dead Channel, Goodwin, Jed Bindeman, DJ Pattern & Shape

1635 SE 7th Ave. Keeter Stuart

WED. JAN. 23

Muddy Rudder Public House

Goodfoot Lounge

1530 SE 7th Ave. Mel Kubik & Christopher Woitach

225 SW Ash St. Montgomery Word, BayBay Ruthless

4847 SE Division St. Saturday Night Drive

The Lovecraft

3120 N Williams Ave. Caroline Bauer, Austin Farrell

315 SE 3rd Ave. Blow Pony: DJs Airick X, Stormy Roxx, Just Dave, Kasio Smashio, Jay Douglas, DJ Gluve

Landmark Saloon

1635 SE 7th Ave. Dover Weinberg Quartet (9 pm); Trio Bravo (6 pm)

The Waypost

Rotture

221 NW 10th Ave. The Dan Balmer Band

3341 SE Belmont St. Kin Trio 421 SE Grand Ave. No Tomorrow Boys

MUSIC CALENDAR

Jimmy Mak’s

836 N Russell St. Will West, the Druthers, the Sale

Star Bar

The Crown Room

205 NW 4th Ave. Proper Movement: Realiez, Nuffsaid, Falesaif, Koolaid

Tiga

1465 NE Prescott St. Gabe Celestino

Ground Kontrol

Holocene

Mount Tabor Theater

421 SE Grand Ave. Darkness Descends with DJ Maxamillion

1001 SE Morrison St. Snap!: Dr. Adam, Colin Jones, Freaky Outty

Tiga

Refuge

Valentine’s

116 SE Yamhill St. Connect: Griz, Michal Menert, Herobust, Guttstar, G Jones

Rotture

315 SE 3rd Ave. Blown: Triage, Nathaniel Knows, Keys, D. Poetica, Rosbarsky

Someday Lounge

125 NW 5th Ave. King Britt, Natasha Kmeto, Mr. Romo, DJ Michael Grimes, DJ Keane

Spare Room

Beech Street Parlor

Berbati

639 SE Morrison St. Blank Friday with DJ Ikon

412 NE Beech St. DJ Sharpie

231 SW Ankeny St. DJ Deff Ro

CC Slaughters

219 NW Davis St. Hip Hop Heaven with DJ Detroit Diezel

Dig a Pony

736 SE Grand Ave. Newrotics

Mount Tabor Theater

4811 SE Hawthorne Blvd. God Module, Mordacious, [Product], DJ Non

Star Bar

639 SE Morrison St. DJ Kelly H

Swift Lounge

1932 NE Broadway Funky Broadway with DJ Drew Groove

The Know

2026 NE Alberta St. Eye Candy with Reverend Danny Norton

The Lovecraft

421 SE Grand Ave. Death Trip with DJ Tobias

The Whiskey Bar

31 NW 1st Ave. Bass Cube: Brillz, Token, Nathaniel Knows

Tiga

1465 NE Prescott St. DJ Grapefruit

Valentine’s

232 SW Ankeny St. DJ Strange Babes

FRI. JAN. 25 Beech Street Parlor 412 NE Beech St. Mudslide McBride

Berbati

231 SW Ankeny St. Digital Stimulation

CC Slaughters

219 NW Davis St. Sound Glitter with DJ Peter Calandra

Club 21

2035 NE Glisan St. DJ Cecilia

Dig a Pony

736 SE Grand Ave. Cooky Parker (late set); DJ Icarus (early set)

Gold Dust Meridian

3267 SE Hawthorne Blvd. DJ A Train

Goodfoot Lounge 2845 SE Stark St. Soul Stew with DJ Aquaman

The Lovecraft

4811 SE Hawthorne Blvd. First Glow: DJs Danny K, BennyRox, Phreek D

4830 NE 42nd Ave. Grooveland with DJ Drew Groove

THuRS. JAN. 24

The Crown Room

205 NW 4th Ave. Trap Funeral: Falcons, Bleep Bloop, DJ Pound, Most Custom, Photon!

511 NW Couch St. DJ Notaz

Star Bar

The Lovecraft

421 SE Grand Ave. Skullfuck: DJs Medusa, Horrid

The Whiskey Bar

31 NW 1st Ave. Tritonal, Topher Jones, DJ Zoxy

Tiga

1465 NE Prescott St. Beacon Sound

Valentine’s

232 SW Ankeny St. DJ Nine Inch Nilina

Velo Cult

1969 NE 42nd Ave. Floral, E. Fury, Rap Class, Philip Grass

SAT. JAN. 26 Beech Street Parlor 412 NE Beech St. DJs Shrimp Tempura, Booty Futures

Berbati

231 SW Ankeny St. DJ Mello Cee

Branx

320 SE 2nd Ave. Blow Pony: Airick X, Stormy Roxx, Just Dave, Kasio Smashio, Jay Douglas, DJ Gluve

CC Slaughters

219 NW Davis St. Revolution with DJ Robb

Dig a Pony

736 SE Grand Ave. DJ Freaky Outty

East Burn

1800 E Burnside St. DJ Zimmie

Foggy Notion

3416 N Lombard St. Sugar Town: DJs Action Slacks, Hornet Leg

Gold Dust Meridian

3267 SE Hawthorne Blvd. DJs Gregarious, Disorder

Ground Kontrol

511 NW Couch St. Roxy’s Ego Hour

Holocene

1001 SE Morrison St. Jai Ho!: Prashant, DJ RDX, VJ Brett Bell, Free Beat Nation

Ivories Jazz Lounge and Restaurant 1435 NW Flanders St. Chuck Israels Jazz Orchestra

1465 NE Prescott St. DJ Party Dad 232 SW Ankeny St. Selector TNT

Vie de Boheme 1530 SE 7th Ave. DJ Brian LaVere

SuN. JAN. 27 Dig a Pony

736 SE Grand Ave. New Jack City DJs

Gold Dust Meridian

3267 SE Hawthorne Blvd. DJ Tomato Joe

Savoy Tavern & Lounge

2500 SE Clinton St. DJs Copy, Grapefruit

Star Bar

639 SE Morrison St. DJ Joey Prude

MON. JAN. 28 Beech Street Parlor 412 NE Beech St. DJ Party Aminal

Berbati

231 SW Ankeny St. DJ Henry Dark

CC Slaughters

219 NW Davis St. Maniac Monday with DJ Robb

Dig a Pony

736 SE Grand Ave. Oliver

Ground Kontrol

511 NW Couch St. Service Industrial with DJ Tibin

Kelly’s Olympian

426 SW Washington St. Eye Candy VJs

Star Bar

639 SE Morrison St. Metal Monday with DJ Nefarious

Tiga

1465 NE Prescott St. DJ Pickle Barrel

TuES. JAN. 29 Ash Street Saloon 225 SW Ash St. Phreak

Beech Street Parlor 412 NE Beech St. Alex Yusimov

Berbati

231 SW Ankeny St. DJ Aurora

CC Slaughters

219 NW Davis St. Girltopia with DJ Alicious

Dig a Pony

736 SE Grand Ave. Sweet Jimmy T

Eagle Portland

835 N Lombard St DMTV with DJ Danimal

Star Bar

639 SE Morrison St. DJ Smooth Hopperator

The Crown Room

205 NW 4th Ave. See You Next Tuesday: American Me, Nato Feelz, Anok?, Kellan

Tiga

1465 NE Prescott St. La Jefa

Matador

1967 W Burnside St. DJ Drew Groove

Willamette Week JANUARY 23, 2013 wweek.com

we're changing our approach to evening…

same daily menu & specials

now served

ALL DAY LONG'til 9 pm every weekday

view daily specials: dailycafeinthepearl.com

902 NW 13th Ave. • 503-242-1916

Willamette Week JANUARY 23, 2013 wweek.com

rio

performance Thursdays-Saturdays, 3 pm Sundays, Jan. 24-Feb. 3. $12-$15.

Feral.

IN ITS FIFTH YEAR, FERTILE GROUND SHOWCASES NEW, LOCAL WORK. By r e B e cc a jaco Bso n rjacobson@wweek.com

It’s a big year for the annual Fertile Ground festival. The 11-day bender of locally produced new works of theater and dance turns 5 this year, and once again the lineup overwhelms. The number of events is down some from last year—from more than 100 to about 90—but the festival pass remains a bargain at $50 (individual tickets are also available). Presenters include heavy hitters as well as freshly hatched companies, and works range from bare-bones readings to fully staged productions. I’ve selected a few intriguing options here. For more, turn to the Performance listings. Feral Bruce Hostetler realizes that in writing a play about homelessness in Portland, some might assume he’s pushing a political agenda. But Hostetler insists this isn’t the case. “Art has to have a point of view,” he says. “But I’m not trying to end homelessness. I’m not trying to make everybody rush out and give $100 to their local homeless shelter. I want people to walk out and the next time they see somebody with a sign along the side of the road or pushing a shopping cart, I want them to see a person. They had parents. They had a life up to that point. They didn’t spring fully formed in the moment just to piss me off and get in the way of my scenery.” It was such an experience that spurred Hostetler, a longtime theater director and occasional playwright, into penning Feral. While living in Ashland and working at the Oregon Shakespeare Festival, he drove past a homeless man carrying a sign, and he got to thinking about that man’s story. Several years later, he began interviewing homeless youth and adults at agencies across Portland. Hostetler estimates he interviewed 40 individuals, and he also

drew from more than 500 interviews conducted by Sisters of the Road from 2001 to 2004. The resulting play, directed by Asae Dean, follows a newly homeless character named Alan over the course of a single night. In this time, he learns the logistics of survival and hears the stories of the play’s seven homeless characters. Hostetler met some resistance from staff at service agencies—he says one executive director worried he was making “poverty pornography”—so he was careful his characters didn’t become caricatures. While the dialogue is composite, Hostetler says each character is based on a single individual, and Alan is a stand-in for himself. During the writing process, he held a handful of readings at the agencies where he’d conducted interviews. One homeless youth told him Feral wasn’t funny enough. “He was like, ‘The homeless are funny,’” Hostetler says, “‘We are really, really funny. Because if you can’t laugh, this shit will drive you crazy.’” Hostetler returned to his draft. In its current form, the play incorporates several moments of humor. “You have to convince them that being hungry and wet is a funny thing,” says one character while discussing sign-writing strategy. “‘I’m here ’cause I think this is cool. Give me some cash to continue my funny social experiment.’” At the same time, Feral digs into dark and often harrowing stories: of mental illness, poverty, rape, crime and drug addiction. Hostetler’s intent, rather than documenting the everyday routines and trials of homelessness, is to establish complex characters with distinct stories. “All my interviews started with me saying, ‘You are interesting as a human being,’” he says. “‘You are not just interesting to me because you happen to be living on the streets right now.’ We’re quite willing to write the biographies and stories about the people who are famous, but the people who aren’t famous are just as fascinating.” The Bob White Theatre Warehouse, 6423 SE Foster Road, 800-494-8497. 7:30 pm

Something’s Got Ahold of My Heart As is typically the case with the original, emotionally resonant and not easily categorized performances produced by Hand2Mouth Theatre—one of the hardestworking and most inventive troupes in town—Something’s Got Ahold of My Heart has been a long time in the making. Starting with the idea of love, Hand2Mouth artistic director Jonathan Walters and the company’s half-dozen members began development in August 2011. Eighteen months later, after workshop performances in Portland and Seattle, a two-week residency in upstate New York, and a spree of shows in New York City earlier this month, the production is ready to land. “We’re trying to tackle the theme of love, and specifically the contradiction between what pop culture tells us love is and what our own personal feelings tell us love is,” Walters says. “Why are there these incredibly cheesy and inaccurate songs and bad romantic movies when we all know that they don’t really have anything to do with our own personal love stories?” To that end, the ensemble moves between what Walters describes as “simple, gentle stories,” physical theater, dance and original rock ballads. Some vignettes celebrate the euphoria of love while others probe pain and heartbreak, and all seek to create an immersive experience for the audience. As the show begins, for example, audience members can make dedications to current or former lovers, and these later find their way into the performance. “We really want audiences to become emotionally involved by thinking about their own lives,” says Walters. “That’s almost considered taboo for some theater artists.” Also unconventional is the way Something’s Got Ahold concludes—with a rock concert. Walter explains it simply: “We really want to have a lovefest with the audience.” Studio 2, 810 SE Belmont St., 235-5284. 8 pm Thursdays-Sundays, Jan. 31-Feb. 17. $12-$20. SEE IT: Fertile Ground is Jan. 24-Feb. 3 at venues across Portland. Full passes are $50. See fertilegroundpdx.org for details.

Gary NormaN

BEARING FRUIT

give you work. I love it.” The CoHo Theater, 2257 NW Raleigh St., 220-2646. 7:30 pm Thursdays-Saturdays, 2 pm Sundays, Jan. 25-Feb. 16. $20-$25.

Lee WexLer

International Falls Twelve years ago, having just earned an MFA in acting, Thomas Ward decided to dip into standup comedy. The foray lasted just two years. “I didn’t know what to do with myself in acting, so it was just a little experiment,” Ward says. “I quickly bailed on it when I saw how hard and long it was going to be to make a career of it.” Those challenges—the loneliness and dissatisfaction that often accompany the grind of being a midtier touring comedian—are the subject of Ward’s new play, International Falls. Centering on a moderately successful but worn-down comedian named Tim (played by Isaac Lamb, perhaps best known for his elaborately staged wedding proposal set to Bruno Mars’ “Marry Me” that went viral in 2012), the play cuts between Tim’s standup act and his fling with a hotel desk clerk, Dee (Laura Faye Smith). Though Ward and his wife acted in the play’s lauded workshop production in Dallas last March, he says Tim is not a stand-in for himself. He did indeed spend a couple of nights in International Falls, Minn., where the play is set, but says he spent the majority of that time being heckled by drunken Canadian businessmen. That’s not what happens in his play. “The play is really a test of that old idea that comedy comes from pain,” Ward says. “It’s two characters who are down and out who find a way to laugh for 90 minutes. At the same time, there’s a very high-stakes, dramatic, moving story.” Ward is originally from Nashville and now lives in Minneapolis, but he spent six years teaching acting at Baylor University in Waco, Texas. There, he had a student named Brandon Woolley, who now works at Portland Center Stage. When Ward sought feedback on a draft of International Falls, he sent the script to Woolley, who leapt on it and is now serving as director. “When he was a student and I was his professor, myself and all my colleagues were just as worried about what he thought about us and vice versa,” Ward says with a laugh. “He’s so talented. It’s such a wonderful thing about being a teacher. You send your students out into the world, then they

CULTURE

InternatIonal Falls.

somethIng’s got ahold oF my heart. Willamette Week JANUARY 23, 2013 wweek.com

jan. 23-29

= WW Pick. Highly recommended. Most prices listed are for advance ticket sales. At-the-door increases and so-called convenience charges may apply, so it’s best to call ahead. Editor: REBECCA JACOBSON. Theater: REBECCA JACOBSON (rjacobson@wweek. com). Classical: BRETT CAMPBELL (bcampbell@wweek.com). Dance: HEATHER WISNER (dance@wweek.com). TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, submit information at least two weeks in advance to: rjacobson@wweek.com.

FERTILE GROUND FESTIVAL The festival of world-premiere theater

and dance returns for its fifth year, with more than 100 full productions, readings and workshops taking place all over the city during the course of 11 days. Fertile Ground productions are . Multiple venues. marked with a Thursday, Jan. 24-Sunday, Feb. 3. Full festival pass $50 at fertilegroundpdx. org, individual tickets vary.

THEATER (..)

Realism and absurdism collide in Fuse Theatre Ensemble’s investigation of conversation and repetition. Theater! Theatre!, 3430 SE Belmont St., 971-238-3873. 7:30 pm ThursdaysSaturdays, 2 pm Sundays through Feb. 3. $10-$12.

24-Hour Play Fest

Four original one-act plays, written and rehearsed over the course of 24 hours. Milepost 5, 850 NE 81st Ave., 729-3223. 8 pm Saturday, Jan. 26. $15.

4X4=8 Musicals

Eight original 10-minute musicals, all performed on a 4-by-4foot stage. PCPA Brunish Theatre, 1111 SW Broadway, 875-1149. 7:30 pm Thursdays-Saturdays through Jan. 26. $28.25.

AwkRad

Performed by teenage actors, this play by Portland funnyman Augi Garred mines the discomfort and embarrassment of adolescence as it follows a 16-year-old who dreams of becoming the next Woody Allen. Eliot Chapel, First Unitarian Church, 1011 SW Salmon St., 985-6746. 6:30 pm FridaysSaturdays, Jan. 25-Feb. 2 and Sunday, Jan. 27. 3 pm Sunday, Feb. 3. $7-$10.

Back Fence PDX

Live storytelling from locals and outof-towners. See Books listings for details. Mission Theater, 1624 NW Glisan St., 223-4527. 8 pm WednesdayThursday, Jan. 23-24. $12.50-$20. 21+.

The Candlestick Maker

The student winner of CoHo’s NEW x NW playwriting competition, Willamette University senior Emily Golden’s play explores the relationship between an aging teacher and her former student. The CoHo Theater, 2257 NW Raleigh St., 220-2646. 4:30 pm Sunday, Jan. 27 and 11 am Saturday, Feb. 2. $10-$12.

Cinnamon and Cigarettes

In this solo piece, Jenny Newbry Waters tells the story of her childhood best friend and his daughter, who became her adopted sister. Milepost 5, 850 NE 81st Ave., 729-3223. 5 pm Tuesday-Thursday, Jan. 29-31. $10.

Comedy of Sorrows

To commemorate the second anniversary of the Egyptian Revolution, Boom Arts presents a staged reading of Ibrahim El-Husseini’s 2011 play about that uprising. El-Husseini’s work, which follows a young and educated woman oblivious to the suffering of her fellow citizens, was one of the first theatrical reactions to emerge after the revolution. Lincoln Hall, Portland State University, 1620 SW Park Ave., 5671644. 7:30 pm Friday, Jan. 25. Free.

Cressida

Written and directed by Asae Dean, this new work based on Shakespeare’s Troilus and Cressida examines love, war and power. Headwaters Theatre, 55 NE Farragut St., No. 9, 289-3499. 9 pm Thursdays-Saturdays, Jan. 24-Feb. 2 pm and 8 pm Thursday-Saturday, Feb. 7-9. $12.

Doing the Cockroach

A reading of Andrew Shanks’ play about a man reincarnated as a cockroach. Milepost 5, 850 NE 81st Ave., 729-3223. 10 pm Thursday, Jan. 24; 5 pm Monday, Jan. 28; 7 pm Wednesday, Jan. 30; 5 pm Friday, Feb. 1. $5.

Exit 27

One of the winners of CoHo’s NEW x NW playwriting competition, Aleks Merilo’s play centers on a community of fundamentalist Mormons who practices polygamy. Presented as a staged reading. The CoHo Theater, 2257 NW Raleigh St., 220-2646. 6:30 pm Sunday, Jan. 27 and 1 pm Saturday, Feb. 2. $10-$12.

Finding the Lost Spark

Sue Ellen Liss presents a solo show about five generations of women in her family. Headwaters Theatre, 55 NE Farragut St., No. 9, 860-3062. 1 pm Sundays, Jan. 27 and Feb. 3 and 7 pm Wednesday, Jan. 30. $10.

Fish Girl

Devised and performed by Sean Andries and Dakota Belle Witt, Fish Girl tells the fraught tale of an encounter between an oppressed mermaid and a smitten tourist. Portland Ballet Studio, 6250 SW Capitol Highway, 452-8448. 9 pm Fridays-Saturdays through Feb. 2. $10 suggested.

The Godmother

A staged reading of Sandra de Helen’s play about a butch lesbian who must lead her crime family after the murder of her brother. Hipbone Studio, 1847 E Burnside St., 800-494-8497. 8 pm Sunday, Jan. 27. $15.

Grand Guignol 5: Possessions

Third Eye Theatre presents its fifth annual homage to the Parisian theater known as the Grand Guignol, which staged graphic horror shows from 1897 to 1962. This year’s sampler features four gory vignettes from local playwrights. Kenton Masonic Lodge, 8130 N Denver Ave., 970-8874. 8 pm Thursday, Jan.w 24. 8 pm FridaysSaturdays. 7 pm Sundays, Feb. 3 and 10. Through Feb. 16. $12-$15.

Grand Hotel

Lakewood Theatre Company presents the Tony-winning musical, set in 1928 Berlin and featuring a revolvingdoor cast of volatile and ambitious characters. Lakewood Center for the Arts, 368 S State St., Lake Oswego, 635-3901. 7:30 pm ThursdaysSaturdays, 2 pm and 7 pm most Sundays through Feb. 17. $32-$35.

I Love to Eat

Opera music booms and steam spills out from beneath the giant onstage refrigerator as I Love to Eat begins. As the song builds and steam obscures the floor, James Beard (Rob Nagle) strides out of the fridge. Dressed in striped silk pajamas, he chuckles as an unremitting cascade of rose petals falls from above. “Moderation!” he roars. “I’m against it!” Yet for such a grandiose proclamation, I Love to Eat, directed by Jessica Kubzansky, feels less like a rich meal than a scattered sampler of tasty but underwhelming tidbits. James Still’s chatty script jumps between informal confessional and re-enactments of Beard’s 1940s cooking show, with the celebrated chef recounting culinary and childhood reminiscences, preparing mayonnaise and chopping parsley for canapes and, in some brief spots, revealing and then brushing off stories of loneliness and unrequited love. Though peppered with a few lovely moments—the Portland-born Beard recalls digging for razor clams in Gearhart, for example—this Portland Center Stage production neither digs enough into Beard’s underlying melancholy nor

Willamette Week JANUARY 23, 2013 wweek.com

sufficiently plays up his convivial wit. Given the bony and episodic script, Nagle’s performance mostly impresses, and he endears himself to the audience with knowing glances and dramatic flourishes of the arm. But many of the lines are so slick or painstakingly choreographed they fail to elicit more than a polite giggle, and nothing can save Nagle in the incongruous, kiddie scenes with a bovine hand puppet. At one point, Beard fields a call from a frazzled home cook in Kansas. He encourages her to pour the disaster down the sink. “That’s the way it is in the kitchen,” he says. “Sometimes it all goes boom.” But that’s the problem with Still’s unfocused script—though it carries on at a gentle simmer, it never makes much of a bang. REBECCA JACOBSON. Gerding Theater, 128 NW 11th Ave., 445-3700. 7:30 pm Tuesdays-Sundays, 2 pm Saturdays-Sundays, noon Thursdays through Feb. 3. $39-$65.

Illuminate

than integral dramatic elements. In the program notes, Mach wonders if she’s guilty of exploiting Charley’s story. If anything, she doesn’t milk it enough. REBECCA JACOBSON. Artists Repertory Theatre, 1515 SW Morrison St., 241-1278. 7:30 pm TuesdaysSundays, 2 pm Sundays through Feb. 10. $25-$50.

Lying in Judgment and The Exes

A double-header of staged readings from Gary Corbin. In Lying in Judgment, a man serves on the jury for a murder he might have committed, and in The Exes, two divorced couples swap partners. Hipbone Studio, 1847 E Burnside St., 800-494-8497. 3 pm Sunday, Jan. 27. $10.

Making Sense of New Performance

ates a discussion about creating new works. Artists Repertory Theatre, 1515 SW Morrison St., 241-1278. 12:30 pm Sunday, Jan. 27. Free.

March

A staged reading of Kate Belden’s play about a neuroanatomist who experiences a stroke. Hipbone Studio, 1847 E Burnside St., 800-494-8497. 1 pm Sunday, Jan. 27. $10.

Marilyn/MISFITS/Miller

Rich Rubin’s play charts the destruction of Arthur Miller and Marilyn Monroe’s marriage, which crumbled on the set of the film The Misfits. The CoHo Theater, 2257 NW Raleigh St. 2 pm Saturday, Jan. 26 and 7:30 pm Tuesday-Wednesday, Jan. 29-30. $12 suggested.

Risk/Reward’s Jerry Tischleder moder-

REVIEW BRUD GILES

PERFORMANCE

Incorporating mask, dance, music and puppetry, HumanBeingCurious Productions interrogates Joseph Campbell’s ideas about metaphor and myth. Milepost 5, 850 NE 81st Ave., 729-3223. 10 pm Saturday, Jan. 26; 3 pm Sunday, Jan. 27; 10 pm Friday, Feb. 1; 5 pm Saturday, Feb. 2; and 10 pm Sunday, Feb. 3. $10-$15.

Intertwinings

Readings of short works by local playwrights Debbie Lamedman, Kate Belden and Brad Bolchunos. Gerding Theater, 128 NW 11th Ave., 445-3700. Noon Saturday, Jan. 26. Free.

John “Babbacombe” Lee

Portland Story Theater’s Lawrence Howard tells the fact-based tale of a man accused of murdering an old spinster in late-19th-century England. Hipbone Studio, 1847 E Burnside St., 358-0898. 8 pm Fridays-Saturdays through Jan. 26. $15-$20.

The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe

Oregon Children’s Theatre bounds off to Narnia. Newmark Theatre, 1111 SW Broadway, 248-4335. 2 pm and 5 pm Saturdays and 2 pm Sundays through Feb. 17. $18-$30.

The Lost Boy

In 2001, Oregon City teenagers Miranda Gaddis and Ashley Pond disappeared, and local playwright Susan Mach found herself both intrigued and disturbed by media exploitation of the event. She found parallels between the girls’ disappearance and a story more distant in both time and place: the 1874 abduction of 4-year-old Charley Ross. That Philadelphia abduction also met sensationalism, even spurring the involvement of circus magnate P.T. Barnum, and Mach tackles Charley’s story in her world-premiere play. Though the theme of bleeding tragedy for lurid gain resonates, this Artists Rep production suffers from plodding exposition, a casserole-like jumble of discordant styles and thorny tonal shifts. Set against colorful backdrops of circus scenes—fire eaters, elephants and acrobatic bears—the first act trudges through Charley’s abduction and the subsequent investigation. Charley (Agatha Day Olson) and his older brother Walter (Harper Lea) exhibit remarkable self-possession and spar in some gosh-darned adorable playfights. The kidnappers—Duffy Epstein as the grizzled but melancholy mastermind and Sean Doran as his lonely, clumsy underling—bring emotional complexity to the proceedings. But exchanges between Charley’s parents and the detective (a gravelly voiced, hard-bitten Doren Elias), which should heave with urgency and tension, feel undercooked and overlong. Mach has intercut these scenes with circus spectacle, including juggling, balancing acts and straitjacket tricks. As Barnum—who did offer a reward for Charley’s return—Gray Eubank fails to fully flesh out the huckster’s showy, manipulative manner. Luisa Sermol, however, vamps delightfully as a fortuneteller with wild eyes and a bouffant worthy of Helena Bonham Carter. But despite their clear intent, the circus interludes come across more as commercial breaks

drive me crazy: (From left) sharonlee mcLean, Gavin Gregory and dean Linnard.

THE HUNTSMEN (PORTLAND PLAYHOUSE) Devon, the central character in The Huntsmen, is an awkward and fidgety teen, the vice president of his high school’s glee club and the child of divorced parents—his father is a lawyer and his mother lives in a trailer with her West Indian boyfriend. He’s a kid who still builds forts in the forest with friends, struggles with eye contact and makes the occasional questionable decision—including posting nudie pics of his mom on the Internet. He’s also a machete-wielding serial killer. Such is the teetering heap playwright Quincy Long constructs in his strange and striking dark comedy. And the issues don’t stop there—this brisk and entertaining world-premiere production, nimbly directed by Kathleen Dimmick, also touches on domestic violence, mental illness, bullying and religious conflict. Sometimes Long hops over his hot-button themes too abruptly, and his characters occasionally act on inexplicable motivations. Yet he also manages to balance the hilarious and macabre in a way that recalls David Lindsay-Abaire, whose plays are as absurd as they are profound. Like Lindsay-Abaire, Long toys with questions of narrative reliability: Can we trust these characters? Where do reality and illusion diverge? Long gives no answers. “It’s so real but it’s not real, Dad!” screeches Devon in the play’s opening scene. But it’s just this sort of theater—non-traditional and non-naturalistic yet grounded by a compelling narrative and sympathetic characters—that provides a welcome shot of energy midway through the performance season. Played with mesmerizing zeal by Dean Linnard, Devon is equal parts clumsy teen, moody murderer and smooth crooner. The Huntsmen isn’t a musical, but it’s peppered with catchy doo-wop tunes: Each time Devon drops his machete on a victim, he launches into song. With vocal backup and pitch-perfect choreography from the fedora-clad Jared Miller, Gavin Gregory and Michael O’Connell (who all play other roles), the songs focus rather than distract from the action. Linnard’s voice is beautifully clean, and he injects the songs with surprising psychological intensity. In the hands of a lesser cast, The Huntsmen might stumble, but with O’Connell as a hilariously cartoonish music agent, Miller as the deadpan detective and Sharonlee McLean as Devon’s caring but misguided mother, this Portland Playhouse production hits all the right notes. Several days later, I’m still singing to myself. REBECCA JACOBSON. a doo-wop revue, with a side of murder.

see it: The Huntsmen is at Portland Playhouse, 602 NE Prescott St., 488-5822. 7:30 pm Thursdays-Saturdays, 2 pm Saturdays-Sundays through Feb. 17. $23-$32.

jan. 23-29

More Actiony, More Adventurey: A Reading Series

The energetic and irreverent troupe Action/Adventure presents staged readings of three new plays: Dirty Water by Devon Wade Granmo, Loaded for Bear by Greg Heaton and Troll 2 by Jade Harris, Jillian Snow Harris and Drew Laughery. Action/ Adventure Theatre, 1050 SE Clinton St. 8 pm Monday-Tuesday, Jan. 28-29. $10.

A Noble Failure

“Something is wrong with our public schools. But it may not be what we’ve been told.” So reads the program cover for Third Rail Repertory Theatre’s world premiere of A Noble Failure, written by Susan Mach and directed by Philip Cuomo. Those lines prime audiences for a fierce political showdown, perhaps a frazzled veteran teacher like Rosalyn (Jacklyn Maddux) going on long tirades about the Youth and the System. That’s not, however, entirely the case. Yes, there are political elements. Young teacher Darren (John San Nicolas), fresh out of Dartmouth, has students with abnormally high test results, while Rosalyn has to fight with a hardheaded lawyer to keep her job because her students’ scores are low. Principal Spencer (Bruce Burkhartsmeier) is helpless to aid Rosalyn, his power sapped by Barbara (Maureen Porter), a metricsobsessed “teacher coach” sent by the district to boost state exam scores. Barbara, and those darn tests, quickly become the villains in A Noble Failure. Dropouts are now “non-completers,” teachers are “teammates” and testing is “assessing” for Barbara. Heartless lines pour out of her, like “Poverty poverty, blah blah blah,” and Porter’s deadpan delivery of both jargon and criticism are among the production’s many hilarious moments. Other gags are surprisingly scatological. After a PowerPoint mistakenly reads, “Assess, Asses again,” Darren comments, “Maybe your ass-istant should rectal-fy her error.” But when does the laughter stop? For those looking for a rallying cry, A Noble Failure falls a bit short. But as a comedy, the hallway humor of high school is a welcome distraction from the despair. MITCH LILLIE. Winningstad Theatre, Portland Center for the Performing Arts, 1111 SW Broadway, 235-1101. 7:30 pm Thursdays-Saturdays, 2 pm Sundays through Feb. 3. $22.25-$41.25.

NT Live: The Magistrate

A broadcast of National Theatre’s production of Arthur Wing Pinero’s Victorian farce, with John Lithgow in the title role. World Trade Center Theater, 121 SW Salmon St., 235-1101. 1 pm and 5 pm Sunday, Jan. 27 and 2 pm and 7 pm Saturday, Feb. 2. $20.

PDX Playwrights

Readings of new works from playwrights Susan Faust, Donna Barrow-Green and Heather Thiel. Hipbone Studio, 1847 E Burnside St., 800-494-8497. 6 pm Sunday, Jan. 27. $10.

Pulp Diction IV: The Pulp Sampler

Readings of six short plays about aliens, witches, vampires and ghosts. Brody Theater, 16 NW Broadway, 800-494-8497. 10:30 pm Saturdays through Feb. 2. $15.

[NEW REVIEW] Portland Experimental Theatre Ensemble’s first full-length play is director Gisela Cardenas’ “radical reimagining” of Shakespeare’s Richard III. Well, not really, but that’s fine. Lines have been cut and scenes rearranged, but to the casual Shakespeare fan, little will have changed. The same demonic Richard, hell-bent on the throne of England, beheads friend, family and foe alike to reach it. What is radical are the mini-

malist and versatile props. Umbrellas are used as guns and a dinner table becomes a pulpit. Beautifully lit from varying sides to play up the shadows, the cast alternately flies across the room on a wheeled table and lingers motionless against the back golden wall. The ensemble members wear only black, with hoop skirts and popped collars signifying rank. The cast is nearly all female, which when portraying multiple characters of both genders—however skillfully—distorts Cardenas’ goal of refocusing the play on its women. Jacob Coleman, as Richard, bleeds enthusiasm, but he can get too tied up in his emotions when he should be conspiring with the audience. All told, such flaws are minor, and PETE pays a fine, respectfully errant tribute to Shakespeare’s twisted king. MITCH LILLIE. Headwaters Theatre, 55 NE Farragut St., No. 9, 289-3499. 7 pm Thursdays-Sundays through Feb. 3. $15.

The Road to Mecca

It’s a simple story, really—a snapshot of one evening in the lives of two women. But much can be revealed in a conversation fueled by trust and desperation. South African playwright Athol Fugard’s The Road to Mecca explores faith and freedom on the most personal levels, while also establishing a clear backdrop of the era’s political climate. Set in 1974 in South Africa, a country still heavily under the rule of apartheid, an evening passes in the home of the elderly Miss Helen. She receives a visit from her only friend Elsa Barlow, and though separated by four decades in age, both women find themselves in places of darkness and turning to the other for guidance. The stunning performances by Amanda Soden as Elsa and Eileen DeSandre as Helen are the reason to see this production, the local directorial debut of Profile Theatre’s new artistic director Adriana Baer. Both women infuse each moment with such heartrending authenticity that you might need hankies. In the face of suffocating darkness, Elsa and Helen find the strength to make choices—whether to stay or to move on—and a freedom that casts a beautiful, glittering light. PENELOPE BASS. Theater! Theatre!, 3430 SE Belmont St., 242-0080. 7:30 pm Wednesdays-Saturdays, 2 pm Sundays through Feb. 3. $16-$30.

Ribbons of War

Minus Dan Productions presents a workshop production of a new musical about seafarers, sea monsters and romance. Shaking the Tree Studio, 1407 SE Stark St., 800-494-8497. 7:30 pm Fridays-Saturdays, 2:30 pm Sundays through Feb. 3. $10.

The Seven Wonders of Chipping

C.S. Whitcomb (whose Lear’s Follies was recently nominated for an Oregon Book Award) presents a staged reading of her newest work, about an American woman who travels to a tiny Welsh town in 1955. Artists Repertory Theatre, 1515 SW Morrison St., 241-1278. 2 pm Saturday, Jan. 26 and 7:30 pm Monday, Jan. 28. $10 suggested.

Sizwe Bansi is Dead

Profile Theatre presents a staged reading of Athol Fugard’s 1972 play about the inhumanity of apartheid in South Africa. Theater! Theatre!, 3430 SE Belmont St., 242-0080. 7:30 pm Monday, Jan. 28. $10 suggested.

Stories: From the Trenches of Middle School

Six middle-school students tell it straight in this workshop production. Sellwood Playhouse, 901 SE Spokane St., 800-494-8497. 7 pm FridaySaturday, Jan. 25-26. $5.

The Sweatermakers

The next installment in Portland Civic Theatre Guild’s monthly reading series is a play by Portlander Andrew Wardenaar about siblings who make sweaters for the bereaved, and then find their relationship unraveling. The Old Church, 1422 SW 11th Ave., 2222031. 10:30 am Tuesday, Jan. 29. $8.

also takes on tunes by Dave Brubeck, Paul Desmond, Antônio Carlos Jobim, Astor Piazzolla and other composers from outside the classical mainstream. Lincoln Hall, Portland State University, 1620 SW Park Ave., 224-9842. 3 pm Sunday, Jan. 27. Sold out.

GARY NORMAN

Men and Women in the Dark

Masque Alfresco stages a new play, written by Benedict Herrman, Emmanuel Williams and Rian Turner, about an age-old topic: the differences between the sexes. Regents Center, 3185 NE Regents Dr., 800-494-8497. 7:30 pm Fridays-Sundays through Feb. 3. $8-$12.

PERFORMANCE

Susan Chan

The PSU piano prof reprises her excellent survey of East meets West solo piano music by J.S. Bach, contemporary Chinese-American composer Zhou Long, Tan Dun and more. St. Stephen’s Episcopal Church, 1432 SW 13th Ave., 223-6424. 4 pm Saturday, Jan. 26. $5-$10.

The Ensemble, Wildwood Consort

R3.

Taster’s Choice

Ruby Rocket, Private Eye

Jewish Theatre Collaborative presents a staged reading of samples from three books. Locations vary; see jewishtheatrecollaborative.org for details. Multiple venues, 512-0582. 7:30 pm Monday-Wednesday, Jan. 28-30. $10.

A solo show from Stacey Hallal about a private eye fond of booze and bachelors. Curious Comedy, 5225 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., 800-494-8497. 9:30 pm Friday-Saturday, Jan. 25-26. $12-$15.

True Colors: Fulfillment, Women and the Body

Seven on Seven

Katje Wagner investigates ideas of fulfillment and the body in this solo performance. Vanport Square Studio, 5229 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd. Suite 102, 313-5733. 4 pm Saturdays through Feb. 2. $12-$15.

A Virgin in Neverland

Inspired by J.M. Barrie’s writings, Nikolas Hoback’s solo show is a quarter-life autobiography exploring the bridge between childhood and adulthood and, yes, virginity. Theater! Theatre!, 3430 SE Belmont St., 971238-3873. 10 pm Thursday-Saturday, 7:30 pm Sunday, Jan. 24-27. $10-$12.

The Witch of the Iron Wood

Norse mythology gets an update in this opera by Evan Lewis and Claire Willett, which finds forbidden love blossoming as the gods grow weak. Milepost 5, 850 NE 81st Ave., 729-3223. 7 pm Sunday, Monday, Wednesday and Friday, Jan. 27-Feb. 1. $12.

COMEDY & VARIETY Alive and Dead in the USA

Long-form improv with a dark side. Brody Theater, 16 NW Broadway, 224-2227. 7:30 pm Saturdays through Feb. 16. $8-$10.

Blank Slate

The improv group presents its first show of 2013. Brody Theater, 16 NW Broadway, 224-2227. 9:30 pm Thursday, Jan. 24. $8-$10.

David Saffert’s Birthday Bashstravaganza! Die More Hard

Comedian and pianist David Saffert throws himself a birthday bash, complete with dancing from Oregon Ballet Theatre’s Lucas Threefoot, singing from Portland Opera’s Alexis Hamilton, puppets, magic tricks and more. Curious Comedy, 5225 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., 800-494-8497. 7:30 pm Fridays-Saturdays through Feb. 2. $12-$15.

Firkin Funny Night

Local comedian Don Frost, who won the Portland Comedy Contest in 2011, headlines this stand-up showcase. The Firkin Tavern, 1937 SE 11th Ave., 206-7552. 9:30 pm Tuesday, Jan. 29. Free.

Free Laughs at Langano Lounge

Shades Mathison hosts a comedy showcase. Langano Lounge , 1435 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 664-6140. 9 pm Tuesday, Jan. 29. Free. 21+.

Late Night Action With Alex Falcone

Comedian Alex Falcone hosts a twice-weekly, live talk show featuring local personalities. Action/Adventure Theatre, 1050 SE Clinton St. 9 pm Fridays-Saturdays through Feb. 9. $12.

Brody presents a new show that mashes stand-up and improv, with seven comics each doing seven minutes, and then a seven-member improv troupe riffing on the material. Brody Theater, 16 NW Broadway, 224-2227. 9:30 pm Friday, Jan. 25. $6.

The Liberators

Smart improv comedy from a troupe that knows what it’s doing. Ethos/ IFCC, 5340 N Interstate Ave. 8 pm Saturday, Jan. 26. $12-$16.

The Sklar Brothers

The identical twins, known for cohosting History Channel’s docu-comedy United Stats of America and their Sklarbro Country podcast, take the Helium stage. Helium Comedy Club, 1510 SE 9th Ave., 888-643-8669. 8 pm Thursday, 7:30 pm and 10 pm FridaySaturday, Jan. 24-26. $15-$27.

CLASSICAL Camerata PYP

Portland Youth Philharmonic’s accomplished chamber orchestra performs Wagner’s dreamy Siegfried Idyll; 20thcentury American composer Deems Taylor’s “Portrait of a Lady,” which sounds like a neo-Romantic mid-century film score; and longtime Oregon resident and Swiss-born composer Ernest Bloch’s vibrant Four Episodes. Wieden & Kennedy Building, 224 NW 13th Ave., 223-5939. 4 pm Sunday, Jan. 27. $15-$20.

Keith Underwood

The New York-based flute master and mentor of some of America’s top flutists has performed with Rod Stewart and Bobby McFerrin, as well as the New York Philharmonic and Orpheus Ensemble. He’ll perform a similarly broad range of works from Latin-American, classical and jazz composers. Lincoln Hall, Portland State University, 1620 SW Park Ave., 725-3307. 7 pm Sunday, Jan. 27. $10-$15.

Oregon Symphony

Oregon-born soprano Amber Wagner, fresh off her debut at the Metropolitan Opera, joins the orchestra for one of the masterworks of late Romantic music: Richard Strauss’ sumptuous Four Last Songs. Carlos Kalmar leads the OSO in the early Strauss tone poem Death and Transfiguration and Mozart’s glittering “post horn” Serenade No. 9. Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall, 1037 SW Broadway, 228-1353. 7:30 pm Saturday, 2 pm Sunday and 8 pm Monday, Jan. 26-28. $21-$96.

Rastrelli Cello Quartet

In this Friends of Chamber Music concert, the Russian foursome performs classics by Tchaikovsky, SaintSaëns and other usual suspects, and

Last month, Seattle’s Pacific Musicworks gave a spectacular performance of Claudio Monteverdi’s magnificent proto-Baroque masterpiece, “Vespers of 1610.” Now, an allstar quintet of the city’s very finest classical singers (drawn from the top ranks of Cappella Romana, Resonance Ensemble and more) joins Portland’s veteran collection of Baroque music specialists on harpsichord, violins, cello, viola da gamba, lute and other period instruments to perform one of Monteverdi’s other great collection of sacred works: Selva Morale e Spirituale. Agnes Flanagan Chapel at Lewis & Clark College, 0615 SW Palatine Hill Road, 768-7461. 7:30 pm Friday, Jan. 25. $15-$20.

DANCE Eclectic

Eclectic, a contemporary/tap/hip-hop company, attempts to dance its way into your heart in Vanessa Elsner’s A Little Dream, about the places love can take us. Cami Curtis Performing Arts Center, 1932 W Burnside St. 2 pm and 7:30 pm Saturday and 2 pm Sunday, Jan. 26-27. $10-$15.

Julia Calabrese and Layla Marcelle Mrozowski

A House to Call Our House is a new collaboration between performers Julia Calabrese and Layla Marcelle Mrozowski. You might remember them from their last joint venture, Permesso, which toured the U.S. in 2010 with BAAD Kinetics, an all-female contemporary dance and cycling project (the BAAD stands for Bicycle Awesome Adventure Dance, natch). The pair is known for integrating dance, theater and sculpture, creating installations in which audiences can make themselves at home. Publication Studios, 717 SW Ankeny Street. 9 pm Fridays, Jan. 25 and Feb. 1; 2 pm and 7 pm Saturday, Jan. 26; 4 pm Sunday, Jan. 27; and 2 pm and 9 pm Saturday, Feb. 2. $10.

Polaris Dance Theatre

Portland pianist Michael Allen Harrison composed an original score, and will perform it live for the world-premiere contemporary dance performance of Snowman and the Red Thread. Polaris Dance Theatre company members and students will dance the piece, which is adapted from a children’s story written by Harrison and Polaris artistic director Robert Guitron. It’s about a child who, like The Wizard of Oz’s Dorothy, takes a fantastical journey through magical lands, only to see her home through new eyes once she returns. The twist in the narrative comes from the Chinese legend of the invisible red thread, which is said to connect youngsters to all the people who will eventually play important roles in their lives. Lincoln Hall, Portland State University, 1620 SW Park Ave., 725-3307. 7:30 pm Thursday-Friday, 2 pm and 7:30 pm Saturday and 2 pm Sunday, Jan. 24-27. $18-$32.

Portland Metro Arts Choreographers’ Showcase

A showcase of works from dancemakers of all ages and experience levels. Portland Metro Performing Arts, 9003 SE Stark St., 408-0604. 7 pm Saturday, Jan. 26. Free; donations accepted.

For more Performance listings, visit

Willamette Week JANUARY 23, 2013 wweek.com

VISUAL ARTS

JAN. 23-29

= WW Pick. Highly recommended. By RICHARD SPEER. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, submit show information—including opening and closing dates, gallery address and phone number—at least two weeks in advance to: Visual Arts, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Email: rspeer@wweek.com.

Apex: Sang-ah Choi

The glittery panels, cereal boxes and blow-up Easter Bunny and Frosty the Snowman that make up Sang-ah Choi’s exhibition are intended to critique American culture, yet they are so visually seductive, they wind up celebrating it. This is commodity critique and Charles Jencksian double-coding repackaged for the millennial set. It sets itself up to pierce our shallow, consumerist American hearts with a rapier, but the glint of light across the metal blade is so mesmerizing, all we can do is ooh and aah. Through March 31. Portland Art Museum, 1219 SW Park Ave., 226-0973.

Dream, Inc.: Awakening from the American Dream

Munich-born artist and writer Richard Schemmerer takes on the American Dream in Dream, Inc., an exhibition of paintings, sculpture and mixed-media work. In addition to a suite of abstract paintings, Schemmerer oﬀers a series depicting enigmatic faces, which confront the viewer with a kind of unsettling mirror. The exhibition’s most compelling work is a sculpture entitled Wings of Desire, made from wrought iron, a metal spring, driftwood and red feathers. With intimations of the Icarus legend, the piece seems to portray a nation that has risen from its folksy, pioneer past (symbolized by the gnarled wood) and industrial might (the metalwork), only to ﬂame out in a wash of decadence (the red wings): a cheap feather boa where a bald eagle once soared. Through Feb. 2. Cock Gallery, 625 NW Everett St., No. 106, 552-8686.

Glades and Ragged Underwood

Vivian Chen’s paintings are the highlight of this three-artist show. In a commentary on decay and rebirth, they present a menagerie of animals lying dead on the forest floor with vegetation sprouting out of their carcasses. It’s disconcerting to see mushrooms and a tree branch growing out of a bird’s eye in the piece Bird, or flowers and leaves from the belly of Deer, and various flora spreading across the bodies of Snail, Bear, Owl, Rabbit and Raccoon. But this is the fate of any animal that runs out its clock and sleeps without waking. With a potent mix of whimsy and the grotesque, Chen makes us confront the fate that awaits all beasts, including those who walk on two legs and have brains that know death is inevitable. Through Feb. 3. Compound Gallery, 107 NW 5th Ave., 796-2733.

Jesse Hayward: Such and Such

You walk into Nine Gallery and see no show title, no artwork titles, not even a sign announcing who the artist is. The works on the wall are too bad to be good but too good to be bad:

sophomoric abstract paintings that are painfully self-aware in their amateur chic. Whoever painted them has ambitions that exceed their grasp. A phone call to the gallery director turns up the answer to some questions. The artist is Jesse Hayward, who, in a precious, “Look at me—no, don’t!” move, placed his name so low down on the door jamb that gallerygoers would not see it. Likewise, according to the director, Hayward left an explanatory brochure about the show “in an unassuming spot” so unassuming that viewers could not ﬁnd it. It sort of makes sense that any artist who would throw together a show this mediocre would not want to be that closely associated with it. Through Feb. 3. Nine Gallery, 122 NW 8th Ave., 227-7114.

Josef Albers: The Interaction of Color-Formulation: Articulation

Love geometric abstraction? Run, don’t walk, to this museum-quality exhibition of Josef Albers’ prints. Albers literally wrote the book on color eﬀects (his magnum opus, 1963’s Interaction of Color) and in the prints that make up Augen’s current show, the late, great abstractionist lays out all the arrows in his quiver. Squares, rhomboids and other shapes nestle within one another in chromatic combinations designed to delight and boggle the eye. An unexpected pleasure are the folded shapes in works such as Folio 2, Folder 21A, in which the minimalist master seems to channel M.C. Escher’s illusionistic pretzels. This is a well-conceived, thoughtful show with much to oﬀer both the uninitiated and the connoisseur of Albers’ oeuvre. Through Feb. 2. Augen DeSoto, 716 NW Davis St., 224-8182.

Nancy Abens: Curiosity Envisioned

Two years ago, when photographer Nancy Abens plunged her digital camera into tidal pools off the coast of Mexico, she discovered an eerie world of exotic-looking sea creatures and plant life. Since then, she has created a body of work that focuses on natural history: specifically birds, insects and shells. Although her subject matter is organic, many of her prints, especially those dealing with geological phenomena, flirt with geometric abstraction, thanks to an assured sense of composition. Through Feb. 23. I Witness Gallery Northwest Center for Photography, 1028 SE Water Ave., Suite 50, 384-2783.

Perspective & Place

Katherine Thompson’s oil painting, Toro, bursts forth with expressive dollops of tomato red, barely contained by a Rouault-like latticework that recalls stained-glass windows. A halo of cerulean envelops the composition, cradling it like a baby.

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Thompson’s work in this vein reads as pure abstraction, while pieces such as Mindscape come across as abstracted landscapes. While these medium-format works are inventively hued and composed, Thompson’s smaller-scale paintings are not nearly as compelling. Through Jan. 30. Backspace, 115 NW 5th Ave., 248-2900.

Raymond Pettibon: The Punk Years, 1978-86

World-renowned artist Raymond Pettibon is showcased in a sassy traveling show sponsored in part by the Andy Warhol Foundation. The show focuses on Pettibon’s formative years in the underground punk scene in Southern California. It features some 200 designs, many of which will be familiar to fans of the artist, whose style is heavily inﬂuenced by comic books and illustration. Through Jan. 25. One Grand Gallery, 1000 E Burnside St., 212-365-4945.

Robert Rauschenberg and Christopher Rauschenberg

In Hollywood, this is what you call dream casting. To mount a show featuring the late, great artist Robert Rauschenberg and his son, Portlandbased photographer Christopher Rauschenberg, is a formidable, delicious challenge, which Elizabeth Leach and her team must surely have relished. The late Rauschenberg’s mixed-media prints will rub elbows with photographer Rauschenberg’s travelogue tableaux of a recent visit to St. Petersburg, Russia. This is a January must-see. Through Feb. 2. Elizabeth Leach Gallery, 417 NW 9th Ave., 224-0521.

Vanitas

Curator Michael Endo has long held an interest in the “vanitas” genre of 17thcentury still-life painting, which used motifs such as skulls and botanicals as memento mori. As an artist, Endo has explored these motifs in his paintings. Now, as a curator at Bullseye, he

calls upon ﬁve other artists to oﬀer takes on the transience of human life. Through March 2. Bullseye Gallery, 300 NW 13th Ave., 227-0222.

Winter Group Exhibition

Froelick’s holiday group show has the feel of a bona ﬁde “best of the best” lineup. It’s easy to take this gallery’s stable for granted, thanks to reliably engaging programming and owner Charles Froelick’s easygoing manner. But when, as in this show, you see works by artists as diverse as Rick Bartow (archetypal imagery inﬂuenced by Native traditions), Victor Maldonado (politically charged installations and mixed media), and Laura Ross-Paul (sumptuous, symbolismencoded paintings), you realize just how lucky we are to have this gallery in our midst year after year. Through Feb. 2. Froelick Gallery, 714 NW Davis St., 222-1142.

For more Visual Arts listings, visit

REVIEW

MARIANA TRES, CELESTIAL CLOCKWORK Who cares what makes it tick?

On the face of it, Mariana Tres’ Celestial Clockwork isn’t much to look at. Upon further investigation, it also isn’t much to think about, despite a tedious trail of conceptual breadcrumbs the artist has sprinkled for viewers to follow. The exhibition consists of eight photographic prints showing the innards of clocks and wristwatches. These prints are uninventively composed and have a dull finish. In the Chambers@916 Gallery’s center stands a glass-covered pedestal filled with old turnkeys, diagrams, a magnifying glass, a weathered bow tie and other banal bric-a-brac. The show looks like a high-school science-fair project. As it turns out, however, Tres has fabricated an elaborate backstory for these amateurish efforts, detailed in antiquarian script on one of the walls. She posits that in 1867, an Astoria-based scientist named Herschel McShougle hatched a plot to construct a clock that would accurately keep time for 10,000 years. The fictional McShougle’s idea allegedly predated actual efforts currently under way to build a 10,000-year clock by the Long Now Foundation (longnow.org). A promotional film about Long Now plays in Chambers’ video-installation space. McShougle is among several characters Tres has created within the faux archive she calls “the Society for Nebulous Knowledge.” In the past, she has exhibited fake memorabilia of “19th century astronomer” Anabella Gaposchk and “19th century Russian composer” Viviana Spokoininich as part of a contem-

EIGHT8DAY BY MARIANA TRES.

porary-art phenomenon known as “fictive art.” This genre, presumably, blurs lines between reality and duplicity in an era when historical accuracy is often suspect. It would be a worthy aim in an exhibition that were not so deadly dull. As it is, the backstory vainly pads an essentially flabby show using tropes that are hardly original. Publishers and Hollywood reimagine history all the time, as in the recent book and film Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter. The 1800s are particularly ripe for postmodern picking, with their blend of industrial progress and Phileas Fogg/proto-steampunk windbaggery. But in any century, conceit is no substitute for content. And in January 2013, Celestial Clockwork is a resounding, pretentious dud. RICHARD SPEER. SEE IT: Celestial Clockwork is at Chambers@916 Gallery, 916 NW Flanders St., 227-9398. Through Feb. 2.

MOVIE TIMES page 51

BOOKS

JAN. 23-29

= WW Pick. Highly recommended. By PENELOPE BASS. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, submit lecture or reading information at least two weeks in advance to: WORDS, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Email: words@wweek.com. Fax: 243-1115.

WEDNESDAY, JAN. 23 Storytelling Roulette

The performance-based storytelling wizards behind Back Fence PDX have concocted a new game they’re calling “Russian Roulette.” An audience member will pull the trigger by picking a theme from the story menu, and then one of the eight storytellers will be randomly selected and given ﬁve minutes to prepare a true ﬁve-minute story based on that theme. Storytellers include Arthur Bradford, Nicole J. Georges, Shelley McLendon, Brian Finkelstein, Jennifer Jasper, Chris Cerasi, Sarah Mirk and Adam Arnold. Mission Theater, 1624 NW Glisan St., 223-4527. 8 pm. $12.50-$20 advance, $16 door. 21+.

THURSDAY, JAN. 24 Back Fence PDX

On the theme of “Breaking the Rules,” monthly storytelling showcase Back Fence PDX will host special guest performers Joy Bryant (NBC’s Parenthood) and The Ellen Degeneres Show writer Brian Finkelstein, along with locals Ted Douglass, Lauren Goche, Vin Shambry and Peter Zuckerman. Stick around for the audience lightning round! Mission Theater, 1624 NW Glisan St., 223-4527. 8 pm. $12.50$20 advance, $16 door. 21+.

FRIDAY, JAN. 25 The Alaska Homesteader’s Handbook

Because you never know when civilization might collapse or Russia will attack, Portland author Tricia Brown (along with Anchorage-based editor Nancy Gates) presents The Alaska Homesteader’s Handbook: Independent Living on the Last Frontier. The book includes helpful topics such as “How to Field Dress a Moose,” “How to Live Among Bears” and “How to Spin Dog Fur.” Powell’s City of Books, 1005 W Burnside St., 228-4651. 7:30 pm. Free.

NIWA Author Showcase

Hosting its monthly lineup of local authors, the Northwest Independent Writers Association will present readings by Mike Chinakos (Kiss of the Traitor), Brad Cameron (The Serpent’s Ship), Delilah Marvelle (Forever a Lord), Jennifer Willis (Iduna’s Apples), Kirstin Pulioﬀ (The Escape of Princess Madeline) and Audrey Braun (Fortune’s Deadly Descent). We’re guessing the evening’s theme is erotic piracy. Primrose & Tumbleweeds, 248 E Main St., Hillsboro, 703-8525. 7-9 pm. Free.

SATURDAY, JAN. 26 The Soft Show

Reading on the month’s theme of “Tenderfoot,” the Soft Show literary showcase will host local writers Kristen Forbes, Lucie Bonvalet and D. Lozano, along with show creators Sunny Bleckinger and Jacob Aiello. Live analysis and commentary will follow each reading, provided by Robin Jennings, nonﬁction editor at Stealing Time magazine, and Vinnie Kinsella of Indigo Press. Suzette, 3342 SE Belmont St., 546-0892. 8 pm. Free.

SUNDAY, JAN. 27 Oliver Burkeman

Do positive aﬃrmations just make you want to kill yourself? You’re not alone. Oliver Burkeman explores the concept of happiness, talking with everyone from psychologists to Buddhists to terrorism experts,

to understand why forced positive thinking is making us miserable. Go ahead, be a grumpus. Powell’s City of Books, 1005 W Burnside St., 2284651. 7:30 pm. Free.

Marathon Poetry Reading

Presenting its annual winter reading marathon, Spare Room will host more than a dozen local poets to read two Modernist classic works: Kora in Hell by William Carlos Williams and Anglo-Mongrels and the Rose by Mina Loy. Yale Union (YU), 800 SE 10th Avenue, 2367996. Noon. Free.

MONDAY, JAN. 28 Elena Passarello

Nothing can hold a space in our subconscious like a voice. In her new book, Let Me Clear My Throat, Elena Passarello explores how the sounds we make shape who we are. Through a series of essays, Passarello touches on everything from Howard Dean’s “BYAH!” and Marlon Brando’s “Stella!” to the recording of “Johnny B. Goode” on the Voyager spacecraft. Powell’s on Hawthorne, 3723 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 228-4651. 7:30 pm. Free.

For more Books listings, visit

REVIEW

BARNEY BLALOCK, PORTLAND’S LOST WATERFRONT Of course you’ve heard the stories of victims disappearing in the night. Drunken and drugged tourists shipped through Portland’s vast network of turn-of-the-century Shanghai tunnels and sent as sailor slaves on boats to China, never to be seen again. Families wept, children starved. Well, bunkum. The first What do you do with a drunken sailor? recorded notion that Shanghaiing occurred in the tunnels was in 1972. And while I often favor interesting myth over dull reality, in this case it’s the myth that lacks imagination. The seamy riverfront Portland of the late 1800s was a far more motley and interesting world than those old tales suggest. A version of Shanghaiing did exist—“crimping” is the word they used— but it didn’t happen in tunnels. It happened right out in the open. Local amateur historian (and 33-year veteran of the Portland nautical grain trade) Barney Blalock devotes about a third of his new book, Portland’s Lost Waterfront: Tall Ships, Steam Mills and Sailors’ Boardinghouses (History Press, 192 pages, $19.99), to the whorehouses and sailors’ hotels of 19th-century Portland. In prose that sometimes seems heavily affected by the old-time newspapers he’s citing, Blalock describes boardinghouse gangsters like the mighty Jim Turk and former boxer “Mysterious” Billy Smith. Crimps, often with the U.S. Marshals Service backing them, parted sailors from their money with promises of beautiful women and better contracts on different ships. The captains were held hostage to the boardinghouse masters; sometimes sailors were stolen and then sold back to the very same ship they’d left. In each case, a contract was signed, though often while blackout drunk. Less commonly, vagrants—illegal under Portland law, and so happily disposed of by local authorities—were shipped out. One of the most salient takeaways from the book is that Old Town—then called Whitechapel—has resolutely maintained its character as a place of vagrant drunkenness for over 100 years, even as it lately shifts to a tequila-addled Gresham shore. Blalock’s book covers a broad swath of Portland history, but it’s obvious where his interests lie. Beyond the boardinghouse and a conscientious telling of Astoria and Portland’s early rivalry as port towns, the rest of the riverfront history of bridges and ferries and the founding of Bull Run splinters into ADHD piecemeal, making it difficult for the reader to fully construct a coherent narrative. But in its attention to the early waterfront scow towns and wharf masters, Blalock’s book remains a valuable and entertaining resource. Besides, it manages to answer the age-old question of what you do with a drunken sailor: You sell him to his own ship. MATTHEW KORFHAGE. READ: Portland’s Lost Waterfront: Tall Ships, Steam Mills and Sailors’ Boardinghouses is available at bookstores. Willamette Week JANUARY 23, 2013 wweek.com

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jan. 23-29 REVIEW

= WW Pick. Highly recommended.

LES FILMS DU LOSANGE

MOVIES

Editor: REBECCA JACOBSON. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, send screening information at least two weeks in advance to Screen, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Email: rjacobson@wweek.com. Fax: 243-1115.

40th Anniversary of Roe v. Wade

[ONE NIGHT ONLY] A free screening of two short documentaries. Jane: An Abortion Service explores the history of a Chicago health group that performed thousands of safe (but illegal) abortions from 1969 to 1973. In The Abortion Diaries, 12 women discuss personal stories of abortion. Clinton Street Theater. 7 pm Tuesday, Jan. 29.

56 Up

A This documentary is “a complete

fraud,” says one of its subjects. It’s a sentiment voiced often in 56 Up, the latest in Michael Apted’s visionary, often-depressing series that has documented the lives of 14 disparate Britons, in seven-year installments, since they were 7 years old in 1964. An entire generation has grown up with them. John, the above-quoted skeptic, resists the notion that social class determines one’s future: He is, of course, congenitally upper-crust rich and has remained so. The lowerclass men and women—who have also remained so, though most have grown more comfortable over the years—have a different perspective. They are more likely to talk about the limitations of possibility, or about one-time chances they missed. While 7 Up and 14 Up and 21 Up were concerned only with the future, this more wizened documentary now looks mostly backward: at dreams that seem inaccessible to a life that has inexorably become something else. For those who’ve not watched all the previous installments, 56 Up is largely of anthropological or cultural interest; for those who have, there’s a wistful sadness to the affair. Each life is accorded only 10 minutes and seems somehow diminished by the attention. You have known these people for too long and the time is now too brief, a phone call across the Atlantic expanse. Still, it’s one of the great journeys in documentary film; it’s unlikely there will be another one like it. MATTHEW KORFHAGE. Cinema 21.

Alone Up There

C- [ONE NIGHT ONLY, DIRECTOR

ATTENDING] It’s no small feat to put dozens of funny people on camera and come up with 90 laugh-free minutes, but documentarian Sean Patrick Shaul accomplishes it tenfold with Alone Up There, an examination of the quest for the almighty laugh. Shaul sets out to find what makes these folks—including Marc Maron, Paul Scheer, Erik Griffin and many others—spend their lives cracking jokes, and he ultimately unearths what everybody already knows: Comics endure hecklers, stage fright, long nights on the road and substance abuse. The obviousness would be forgiven if the insights were funny, but they’re delivered with straight faces and a complete lack of irony, highlighted by Iliza Shlesinger waxing about sacrifices while getting a pedicure. The film plods toward a climax in which Shaul takes the stage after being coached by pros, a courageous move that comes up short when he includes only one minute of his flop of a set. Had he presented his glorious train wreck in its entirety, maybe he would have helped his audience understand comedy’s hurdles. Instead, he’s made an utterly straight-faced film with little insight that feels like a freshman thesis paper about comedy but forgets to be funny in the process. AP KRYZA. Clinton Street Theater. 7:30 pm Thursday, Jan. 24.

Anna Karenina

B In popular imagination, Tolstoy’s Anna Karenina is a torrid love story about an impossible love affair between a married woman (Keira Knightley) and a dashing cavalry officer named Vronsky (Aaron TaylorJohnson). But the novel is actually a much broader affair about the artifice of St. Petersburg and the dream of the noble life. Accordingly, Tom Stoppard and Joe Wright’s film version places much of the moral heart with gentle-

man farmer Levin (Domhnall Gleeson) and with Anna’s cuckolded husband, Karenin, played with pinched sadness by Jude Law. Anna and Vronsky might chew the scenery in their doomed affair, but it is up to Law’s wounded Karenin to digest it. R. MATTHEW KORFHAGE. Hollywood, Fox Tower.

Argo

A- Ben Affleck’s thriller is one of the

year’s best pictures. R. AP KRYZA. Clackamas, Living Room Theaters.

Beasts of the Southern Wild

A Like Southern-fried, live-action

Miyazaki. MATTHEW SINGER. Laurelhurst, Kennedy.

Beware of Mr. Baker

A- In the first few minutes of Beware

of Mr. Baker, the film’s subject, drummer Ginger Baker, is shown firing an Uzi, challenging anyone who doesn’t like him to a fight and jabbing the director in the nose with a cane. That about sets the tone. A jazz drummer who played with rock velocity, the ex-Cream member was born on the cusp of war and grew up in London with bombs detonating outside his window, which endeared him to the sound of explosions. “I love disasters,” he croaks. Appropriately, Jay Bulger’s film is a disaster movie disguised as a rock doc, with Baker as walking apocalypse. In his younger days, the musician’s crazed-junkie eyes, magma-red hair, scarecrow physique and permanent grin made him look like a cartoon interpretation of the devil, lending menace to his rolling-thunder solos. Now in his 70s, dead broke and jittery from osteoarthritis, his wild eyes narrowed into beads, he’s mostly just an old, angry son of a bitch. Although Bulger seems to admire his cantankerousness (his response to Baker nearly breaking his nose: “The madman is alive and well!”), he doesn’t romanticize it. Indeed, he casts a portrait that, under the scorched-earth performance footage and Steadman-esque animations, is actually quite sad. Baker isn’t particularly sympathetic—he has willfully abandoned or alienated everyone close to him, including his four wives and children—but, from a safe distance, he is wildly entertaining, leaning back in a recliner at his soon-to-beforeclosed-on farm in South Africa, hurling irritated asides at Bulger, Mick Jagger, John Bonham and, especially, former bandmate Jack Bruce. Bulger tacks on the requisite triumphant postscript, but if there’s one thing this documentary teaches us about Baker, it’s that he’s never happy for long. MATTHEW SINGER. Hollywood.

Broken City

C+ Mark Wahlberg has a rare (and marketable) quality: He remains likable even when his films are not. It’s thus the case that Broken City, despite being a wholly by-the-numbers yarn of political corruption and the one man who can get his hands dirty enough to get the job done (but not so dirty that he becomes part of the problem he’s fighting), is somewhat passable in spite of its familiarity. The municipal-thriller aspects of Broken City are not unlike the machinations of George Clooney’s The Ides of March in microcosm: Where Clooney’s film concerns a campaign worker squelching a potential scandal on the eve of a presidential election, Allen Hughes’ is about a cop-turnedprivate investigator (Wahlberg) who gets in over his head with the obviously corrupt mayor of New York City (Russell Crowe), who is facing an election of his own. Wahlberg and Crowe spend a lot of time butting heads and not so subtly hiding their competing agendas from one another. Wahlberg, despite his best efforts, is occasionally on tough-guy autopilot here. The fact that the plotting is so similar to that of

CONT. on page 48

DRaW a BLaNk: Emmanuelle Riva is exquisite as an octogenarian in failing health.

TILL DEATH DO US PART MICHAEL HANEKE’S WRENCHING AMOUR TAKES A HARD LOOK AT MORTALITY. BY ReB ecca jacoB son

rjacobson@wweek.com

Midway through Michael Haneke’s scrupulously devastating Amour, the elderly Georges (JeanLouis Trintignant) tells his wife Anne (Emmanuelle Riva) about a film he remembers watching as a child. Though he can no longer recall any details, he keenly remembers how the film made him feel, and the reminiscence brings him to tears. “The emotions remain,” he tells Anne. That scene is almost too perfect—it is, undoubtedly, Haneke’s nod to the enduring power of cinema—but it captures what makes Amour both calmly beautiful and tremendously wrenching. Over the film’s course, these octogenarians must come to terms with what happens when such emotions—or memories, or the abilities of speech or motion or coherence or continence—no longer remain. The film’s title is not inaccurate: As certain as death is, there is equally little doubt about the love Georges and Anne have for each other. Trintignant and Riva, two aging cinematic titans themselves, are wholly believable as this long-married, deeply devoted couple. But the Austrian writer-director Haneke, ever the psychologically brutalizing provocateur, also takes an unsentimental, dignified and painfully transfixing look at infirmity and mortality. Set almost entirely in Georges and Anne’s comfortable apartment in modern-day Paris—they are retired music teachers—Amour lays its groundwork early. Anne has a stroke one morning, seeming to disappear mentally for several moments. She soon ends up in a wheelchair, having lost function on one side of her body. But she retains her spark for a while longer, and Riva’s performance is as graceful as it is heartbreaking: There’s a joyful scene where she laughs while spinning around in her motorized wheelchair, but also moments when she expresses a complex constellation of shame, sadness and confusion. As Anne’s health declines, Georges’ condition undergoes a change as well. His posture grows stooped and his gait clumsy, and though he remains loving and attentive, anger and frustration flash

through. In one scene, Anne refuses to drink the water Georges offers and he impulsively slaps her. Family strains emerge with the entrance of their only child, Eva (the excellent Isabelle Huppert). Eva is high-strung, self-involved and powerless to understand or support her parents, and Huppert rattles the proceedings to unsettling effect. Amour is intensely intimate in the way it documents life’s small and often raw moments. Allowing his camera to give the characters space—and some privacy—Haneke patiently but insistently depicts how Georges must care for Anne. In wide and midrange shots, but rarely in close-up, we see him feeding her, bathing her, learning how to change her

AMoUR IS INTENSELY INTIMATE IN THE WAY IT DOCUMENTS LIFE’S SMALL AND OFTEN RAW MOMENTS. diaper. For anyone who has helped care for an aging relative or friend, these moments are familiar and wrenching. And though there’s a fly-on-the-wall aspect to these scenes, they feel respectful rather than voyeuristic, aided by cinematographer Darius Khondji’s naturalistic lighting and the dignity of Trintignant and Riva’s performances. But Haneke, known for disturbing and austere films like The White Ribbon and Caché, is far from maudlin, and at points Amour feels clinical—though not to ill effect. Instead, this distance contributes to the film’s sense of mystery and the macabre. Very little happens, and the outcome is inevitable from the outset. Yet Haneke still builds an ominously suspenseful atmosphere, both with little details— what, for example, is the symbolism of the pigeon that keeps flying into the apartment?—and with flights of narrative unreliability. This is no easy film to watch: Haneke doesn’t soothe the viewer, and though Amour may not contain the same cold shocks of menace or cruelty as his other films, it also does not relent in its painful realism. And that is precisely what endows it with such power. A SEE IT: Amour is rated PG-13. It opens Friday at Fox Tower.

Willamette Week JANUARY 23, 2013 wweek.com

JAN. 23-29

the equally generic Shooter further compounds this problem. Tonal inconsistency (not to mention a few aimless subplots) threatens to derail things early on, but once it’s cleared its throat and ﬁgured out what it’s trying to say, Broken City settles into its role as a serviceable popcorn movie. R. MICHAEL NORDINE. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Mill Plain, Cornelius.

Cloud Atlas

call 503.445.1542 or email newshound@wweek.com

UPCOMING IN-STORE PERFORMANCES TONIGHT!

KEN STRINGFELLOW

WEDNESDAY 1/23 @ 7 PM

Ken Stringfellow has been part of the indie landscape since the debut of his acclaimed band, The Posies, in 1988. Ken’s solo work mixes deeply expressed, emotional singing with delicate support: acoustic, electric, electronic, chamber. Ken’s fourth album, ‘Danzig in the Moonlight’, has moments of fearsome electro-tinged menace, balanced with some of the most intensely intimate fragility you’re likely to encounter on record this year.

HOWARD WADE

FRIDAY 1/25 @ 6 PM

With the release of his debut album, ‘Leave the Blues Behind’, country blues and ragtime blues guitarist Howard Wade brings finger style virtuosity to American folk music. Calling on nearly half a century of musical experience he keeps the legacy of Reverend Gary Davis, Mississippi John Hurt and Jorma Kaukonen alive while breathing new life into this great tradition.

MOH ALILECHE

SUNDAY 1/27 @ 5 PM

Moh Alileche was born and raised in the mountains of the Kabylia region of Algeria, where he became known for his skills as a musician, singer and song-writer. Since his move to the USA in 1990, Moh has a captivated many American audiences with his authentic style. With ‘When The Dust Settles’, Moh continues promoting the music and culture of his Amazigh ancestors of North Africa, bringing their joys and struggles to the consciousness of international audiences.

JOSH HOKE

WEDNESDAY 1/30 @ 6 PM

With guitar in hand and more than a touch of soul, Josh Hoke’s voice invites you into the sacred, rustic space of tired hope, or along the crisp precipice of wailing anticipation. Gritty and fresh as the day you were born, and as calming as a breeze over fields of new mown hay on a warm summer night. The passion and visceral experience of his live performance has been captured in his debut album, ‘Ghosts and Glory’.

ONLY PORTLAND PERFORMANCE! PAUL KELLY

WEDNESDAY 1/30 @ 7:30 PM “One of the finest songwriters I have ever heard, Australian or otherwise.” -David Fricke from Rolling Stone In a career that’s spanned more than 30 years, Kelly has released a steady stream of albums showcasing his emotionally vivid, musically expansive songwriting and his uncanny ability to distill a novel’s worth of narrative and character detail into an effortlessly melodic pop tune. ‘Spring and Fall’, his 19th studio album, ranks with the seminal Australian singer-songwriter’s most memorable and resonant work, demonstrating why he’s virtually a national hero in his home country and one of the most celebrated songwriters on the planet.

Willamette Week JANUARY 23, 2013 wweek.com

C+ Lana and Andy Wachowski and Tom Twyker’s sprawling adaptation of David Mitchell’s 500-plus-page novel is a marathon masquerade ball of six diﬀerent plots. In trying to speak about everything—the ﬁght against oppression, the thirst for freedom, the pursuit of truth, the triumph of good over evil—Cloud Atlas ends up saying very little. R. REBECCA JACOBSON. Cloud Atlas, Academy.

Conspirators of Pleasure

C+ [TWO NIGHTS ONLY, REVIVAL]

How do you, personally, masturbate? I have to ask because Conspirators of Pleasure, Czech surrealist Jan Švankmajer’s 1996 film, rambles through the autoerotic fantasies of six seemingly normal individuals. A man (Petr Meissel) picks out a porn magazine in a small shop and gets a knowing smile from the sales assistant (Jirí Lábus). While he’s enjoying the magazine at home, a letter carrier (Barbora Hrzánová) arrives with a delivery. Soon, however, these characters’ fantasies prove far stranger than their everyday appearances would suggest. Each of the six—including the man, the letter carrier, and the sales assistant—seems turned on by various animals or inanimate objects, and they engage with them in elaborate private rituals. Constructing a papier-mâché chicken head and wings out of umbrellas, the man steals his neighbor’s clothing, makes a doll in her likeness and terrorizes it in the forest while dressed as the chicken. He eventually drops a large stone on the doll’s head. Fur- and nail-covered rolling pins, whips, live carp, balls of bread and five-handed lovers with televisions for heads figure in the other fantasies. Keeping audiences engaged without verbal dialogue is a feat in and of itself, though the 85-minute runtime and Conspirators’ position at the intersection of the absurd and the hilarious certainly help. But the laughter can’t compensate for the lack of direction and forward motion, and ultimately Švankmajer’s vision goes limp. MITCH LILLIE. NW Film Center’s Whitsell Auditorium. 5 pm Saturday and 7 pm Sunday, Jan. 26-27.

Django Unchained

B- Give Quentin Tarantino this much: He’s got balls. Imagine entering a meeting with a major studio and pitching a relentlessly violent, big-budget revenge fantasy about an escaped slave in the pre-Civil War South who slaughters his way through Confederate plantation owners in search of his wife. If nothing else, Django Unchained has audacity going for it. But it raises a question that, ultimately, makes it tough to enjoy: When dredging up the ugliest period of American history for the sake of entertainment, is being cool enough? Because Django Unchained is exceptionally cool. A mashed-up spaghetti Western and blaxploitation ﬂick, it is the kind of kinetic pastiche job that’s made Tarantino a genre unto himself. It’s got tight, crackling dialogue, and three actors who revel in delivering it. It’s got a handful of images—such as a close-up of a slave owner’s blood misting across cotton bolls—that are among the best in the director’s oeuvre. It’s got original music by both Ennio Morricone and Rick Ross, and a slow-motion shootout set to a posthumous collaboration between Tupac and James Brown. Why, then, did I leave the theater feeling not exhilarated but empty? Django Unchained trivializes an atrocity, and that makes it hard to

digest as fun, frivolous popcorn. Its staggering runtime—two hours and 45 minutes—is earned only by its three lead actors. As the sociopathcum-abolitionist Dr. King Schultz, Christoph Waltz makes Tarantino’s words sing. Jamie Foxx ﬁnds a captivating stoicism as Django. And Leonardo DiCaprio, playing a psychotic cloaked in Southern gentility, bites down with rotted teeth into a role of slimy, slithering, utterly unsubtle evil. With Django Unchained, Tarantino has made another monument of cinematic cool. But has he made a responsible ﬁlm? And does it matter? That, it turns out, is the biggest question of all. R. MATTHEW SINGER. Fox Tower, Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Forest.

Faust

[ONE DAY ONLY, REVIVAL] The surrealist Czech ﬁlmmaker Jan

Švankmajer blends live action and clay animation in his take on the legend of Dr. Faustus. NW Film Center’s Whitsell Auditorium. 5 pm Sunday, Jan. 27.

Gangster Squad

C- Talk about a misﬁre. An extrapulpy 1940s crime drama with visions of The Untouchables in its eyes, Gangster Squad aims for homage, but the impatient direction of Ruben Fleischer (Zombieland) lacks the grace and wit of a true noir. Based on the allegedly true story of an LAPD shadow unit that brought down one of the city’s most notorious crime lords, Gangster Squad stars Sean Penn as Mickey Cohen, a boxer-turned-psychopathic kingpin with a scowl permanently etched into his face. Seriously: The makeup gives Penn the look of a Dick Tracy villain, and he plays Cohen with attendant cartoon-

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MOVIES

HOT DAME!: Applauding Maggie Smith’s arrival.

QUARTET You’ve seen this film before: A pack of love-drunk song-and-dancers needs a ton of money to save their home, so they band together to put on a big music show. Can they pull it off? Will the big star agree to take part? Heck, it’s the plot of at least two Muppets movies. But in Quartet, Dustin Hoffman’s twilight directorial debut, the stars are neither Muppets nor moppets, but septuagenarians. The film, which takes place in a ridiculously well-appointed retirement home for former classical musicians, acts as both valedictory and wake for an entire passing generation of British actors and musicians—notably Maggie Smith, Michael Gambon, Billy Connolly and Tom Courtenay, alongside a host of former opera stars. The film’s creaking plot of love lost and found amid still-smoldering musical rivalries is remarkably by the numbers; it’s shocking that Hoffmann waited so long to say so little. The ensemble includes the requisite caring doctor (Sheridan Smith), comedic aging Lothario (Connolly) and tragically dippy Alzheimer’s patient (Pauline Collins, liar-liar Sarah on Upstairs, Downstairs), who all help an old, proud couple learn to live and love again. But equally surprising is how much fun it is. Maggie Smith plays Maggie Smith, of course—which is to say she walks around scaring the living shit out of everybody—but by the end it’s a lovely and vulnerable performance. Connolly, meanwhile, performs joyful frottage on every scene. While Quartet toys with treacherous sentimentality, it saves itself by virtue of a cheery patience in exposition rivaled only by midafternoon ads for motorized wheelchairs. If there’s a fundamental insight to be gained from the film, it’s that old age is not so much a second childhood as it is a second adolescence: a time of adult desires thwarted by powerlessness, in which every lost chance takes on unbearable importance. For much different reasons, both the 14-year-old and the 80-year-old may believe that each new love will be their last. Following up on France’s All Together, starring Jane Fonda, Quartet is the second high-profile film in about a year to feature an ensemble of lovelorn retirees; of the two, Quartet is much less ambitious and much more successful. Because while Hoffman seems very aware he’s gently closing the book on an entire generation of entertainers, he nonetheless allows them to do what they’ve always done best: be entertaining. MATTHEW KORFHAGE. A wheelchair musical.

SEE IT: Quartet is rated PG-13. It opens Friday at Fox Tower.

jan. 23-29 ish malevolence. The new police chief (Nick Nolte) gives Josh Brolin’s bullheaded but incorruptible Sgt. James O’Mara—a World War II vet for whom the war has not ended—the green light to engage in guerrilla combat with the previously untouchable Cohen. Ryan Gosling is a fellow vet for whom the war has ended and who is content to slurp cocktails and chase tail, but his usual smolder is snuffed by Will Beall’s underboiled script. Gangster Squad bulldozes from elevator brawls to jailbreaks to car chases to a needlessly showy slow-mo shootout in a hotel lobby, pausing only for perfunctory male bonding and clunky dialogue that spells out the half-baked theme of the thin division between the lawful and the lawless. R. MATTHEW SINGER. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Mill Plain.

Grindhouse Film Festival: Convent of the Sacred Beast

[ONE NIGHT ONLY, REVIVAL] Of all the ’sploitations, nunsploitation is definitely our favorite. In this 1974 Japanese film, a young woman enters a convent more concerned with S&M than with prayer. Hollywood Theatre. 7:30 pm Tuesday, Jan. 29.

Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters

Just what the Brothers Grimm would have wanted: The siblings have become bounty hunters. Screened after WW press deadlines, but look for AP Kryza’s review on wweek.com. R. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Cornelius, City Center, Division, Hilltop, Sherwood, Tigard, Wilsonville, Living Room Theaters, Pioneer Place.

A Haunted House

A Paranormal Activity spoof, starring Marlon Wayans and Cedric the Entertainer. Not screened for critics. R. Eastport, Clackamas.

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey

B+ The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey takes Peter Jackson’s penchant for sprawling panoramic views, large-scale melees and lingering shots of small men gazing into the distance and distills it through the eyes of young Bilbo Baggins (Martin Freeman), prodded into adventure by the wizard Gandalf (a returning Ian McKellen). The mission: join a group of dwarves led by fallen king Thorin (a gruff Richard Armitage) to reclaim their mountain kingdom and its treasures from a gigantic dragon. It’s all anchored firmly by Freeman’s assured performance, which exudes charm and childlike fear. From the little man’s perspective, it all seems new again. PG13. AP KRYZA. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Cornelius, Mill Plain.

Holy Motors

A Leos Carax’s film follows M. Oscar (the craggy and lithe Denis Lavant, in a bravura performance), a gent who drifts through Paris in the back of a limousine and adopts various guises along the way. By commenting on each era of the film industry, Carax urges viewers to remember how potent and indelible the art form can be. ROBERT HAM. Living Room Theaters.

Hyde Park on Hudson

B+ Like so many great romances in

history, the affair between Franklin Delano Roosevelt and his cousin began with a timid hand job. Leave it to Bill Murray, though, to make something as icky as incest seem somehow sweet and forgivable. Whatever helps you sleep at night, Mr. President. R. EMILY JENSEN. Hollywood, Fox Tower.

The Impossible

C It’s always tricky to criticize a film

for what it fails to depict rather than for what it actually captures. But in The Impossible, the omission is so glaring that to disregard it would be to commit a similarly shortsighted act of complacency. Though it centers on the 2004 tsunami that ravaged Southeast Asia and killed 230,000 people, Juan Antonio Bayona’s film is less a tale of cataclysmic human and environmental devastation than a troublingly narrow narrative about one white, privileged,

European family whose vacation is spoiled by a crushing wall of water. As a disaster drama, it’s immersive and at points extraordinary. We witness the mother, Maria (Naomi Watts), receive a particularly vicious thrashing, spun as if in a blender and then flayed to the bone by debris. As she reunites with 12-year-old Lucas (Tom Holland), Bayona seems to think that lingering over dirty wounds and bloody flaps of skin can make up for Sergio G. Sánchez’s thin screenplay, but he’s fortunate to have Holland and Watts, who both give gritty, heartfelt performances. But the few locals are relegated to window dressing, even as the film keeps reminding us that this is a “true story,” with those words appearing twice in the title credits. Did we need any “true story” of this colossal tragedy adapted for the big screen, least of all one of a lavish vacation gone wrong? R. REBECCA JACOBSON. Fox Tower, Cedar Hills, Clackamas.

Jack Reacher

B- In the opening of this Tom Cruise vehicle, a sniper in Pittsburgh guns down five apparently random people. Detective Emerson (David Oyelowo) finds a wealth of evidence to convict a former soldier, James Barr (Joseph Sikora). But instead of pleading guilty, Barr scrawls a cryptic note: “Get Jack Reacher.” Reacher (Cruise) is a military cop-turned-drifter. The character, created by author Lee Childs, was born out of pulp: intimidating, 6-foot-5 and blond, and preternaturally gifted in investigation, krav maga, marksmanship and general ass-kicking. But at some point in the casting process, writer-director Christopher McQuarrie must have said, “Fuck it, let’s just get Tom Cruise.” There are two ways to approach this film: either as a ludicrous vanity picture for an over-the-hill movie star with a serious Napoleon complex, or a work of high camp. You may expect the former, but be prepared to cackle at the latter. PG-13. JOHN LOCANTHI. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas.

The Kid With a Bike

B+ Another slice of lower-class life

from Belgium’s Dardenne brothers, The Kid with a Bike focuses on Cyril (Thomas Doret), an 11-year-old whose future abandonment issues we witness being seared into him. Disregarded by every male figure in his life—his father, his foster mother’s boyfriend, the slickhaired street tough who recruits him for a robbery—he is left to survive alone in a boy’s school until literally falling into the arms of a local hairdresser. International cineastes already know of the Dardennes’ warm, realist touch, but the revelation here is Doret. He plays Cyril as a bomb not waiting to explode but silently begging to be defused. MATTHEW SINGER. Living Room Theaters.

The Last Stand

B- The good news: After a 10-year absence, the most legendary action hero’s cinematic return is totally an Arnold Schwarzenegger flick, a loud, riotous symphony of bad one-liners, explosions, blood, guns and fast cars. The bad news is that The Last Stand is an Arnold Schwarzenegger movie, and not one of the Total Recall or True Lies variety. In its simplicity, it hews closer to Red Heat or Raw Deal. This is gun-worshiping, masochistic comfort food, and in many respects it delivers on its promises of mayhem. Said mayhem is delivered by the great Kim Jee-woon, a master of taking genre tropes and amping them up to ridiculous levels. The South Korean auteur proved his chops with The Good, the Bad, the Weird, a kimchi Western with a cacophony of inventive violence. So it’s only fitting that his Hollywood debut offers much of the same, albeit in a stripped-down, dumb-fuck shoot’em-up. The plot could have been written by a 6-year-old: A Mexican drug lord escapes police custody, gets in a souped-up Corvette and makes a 200 mph dash for the border, where a semi-retired badass (Ah-nuld) is sheriff of a sleepy town. When the Corvette arrives, things—actually, pretty much everything—go boom. Especially bodies. Alas, this is a Hollywood film, so there’s considerable time wasted

on Forest Whitaker as an FBI agent whose sole purpose seems to be staring stoically at computer screens and barking obvious observations. But when Arnold plays Road Runner to a sea of Wile E. Coyotes with automatic weapons, The Last Stand is a welcome return to form—a hysterically stupid celebration of chaos delivered with childlike love. R. AP KRYZA. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Mill Plain, Cornelius.

Les Misérables

D Tom Hooper’s Les Misérables lives

up to its name. With the exception of about 10 minutes, the nearly threehour film is an endless wallow in the fields of squalor, filth, chancre and herpes. Derived from Victor Hugo’s humanitarian novel, already a doorstop weepie, Les Miz is in musical form a bathetic pressure washer loaded with human tears. In Hooper’s (The King’s Speech) loose directorial grip, this water cannon jerks itself around as in an old Looney Tunes cartoon, spraying the world with salty liquid. As the saintly thief-gone-noble Jean Valjean pursued by the relentless Javert (Russell Crowe) through the streets of 19th-century France, Hugh Jackman is a terrifically convincing physical presence. But he is hobbled by Hooper’s decision to have the actors sing every line. Jackman is more a song-and-dance man than a balladeer, and his trilling over-enunciation bleeds his character of any possible nuance. Crowe, likewise, sounds less like a punctilious follower of the law than a bar-band bellower who needs a drink. Despite some expensivelooking overhead shots of degraded French life, Hooper’s epic film is centered doggedly on the suffering found in a human face. In the case of Anne Hathaway as the dying prostitute Fantine, this is a wise decision. She becomes a Jeanne D’Arc figure, ruined and beatific, sobbingly and haltingly wresting “I Dreamed a Dream” from Susan Boyle with the imperfections of her rendition. Les Miz is, more than anything, painfully obvious Oscar bait. In shooting relentlessly for a statuette, Hooper makes all of humanity into much the same thing: heavy and small, shining on the surface but just plain dead on the inside. PG-13. MATTHEW KORFHAGE. Fox Tower, Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Mill Plain, Cornelius.

Life of Pi

C Ignore the tiger for a moment. Ang Lee’s Life of Pi is a very simple story with a grandiose backdrop. But the film surrenders the more subtle messages of Yann Martel’s Booker Prizewinning novel for ham-handed schlock and slack-jawed awe. And unlike better feel-good films, which slowly lock their fangs around your heart, Life of Pi seems downright manipulative. PG13. REBECCA JACOBSON. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas.

Lincoln

B Steven Spielberg’s stately drama

is shrewd, balanced and impressively restrained. PG-13. REBECCA JACOBSON. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas.

Looper

A Forget neo-noir: This is retro-

neo-futurist noir. R. AARON MESH. Laurelhurst.

Mahler on the Couch

[ONE WEEK ONLY] In this German film, composer Gustav Mahler turns to Sigmund Freud to deal with his wife’s infidelity. Living Room Theaters.

Mama

C+ One glance at Guillermo del Toro’s filmography gives the sneaking suspicion that the Mexican wunderkind really hates children. So it’s no surprise that the latest film to get his seal of approval is Mama, a potboiler about feral children stalked by a bloodthirsty apparition. Del Toro flung the film into development based on a short by Andrés Muschietti, which was almost like del Toro fan fiction in its masterfully creepy aesthetic and terrifying titular monster. Alas, Muschietti’s feature-length Mama loses its footing about halfway through, taking what

begins as a spectacularly creepy, minimalist slow-burner and thrusting it into cliché. The film opens with a deranged father who, having killed several coworkers and his wife, kidnaps his daughters. But he careens off the road and meets an unfortunate fate, leaving his little girls on their own. The film is strongest when it follows the girls’ social reacclimation and psychoanalysis, which reveals that they invented an imaginary protector named Mama— only, of course, she’s not so imaginary, and she’s not too keen that the girls have warmed to their adoptive mother (a gothed-up and surprisingly droll Jessica Chastain). As Mama makes her presence known, the film is stomachchurningly tense. Then people start getting stupid, and the second half of the film teeters into the most macabre episode of Scooby Doo ever. It’s also at this point that the ghost ceases to be scary. Suddenly Mama is front and center, looking like test footage from The Grudge and less interested in terrorizing the characters than in popping her head directly before the camera. Could it be that Mama’s real goal is to make the ultimate photobomb? If so, nicely done. Either way, the over-reliance on special effects and the sacrifice of actual dread earned through organic scares make Mama land with a thud. PG-13. AP KRYZA. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Mill Plain, Cornelius, Living Room Theaterss.

The Mountain Runners

B [ONE NIGHT ONLY] Combining Ken

Burns-style documentary methods with some pretty campy re-enactment footage, Todd Warger and Brian Young’s The Mountain Runners is a history lesson examining an event that makes modern-day Iron Man competitors seem like fun-runners. The event in question is Bellingham, Wash.’s Mount Baker Marathon and its 1911 origin story, when competitors boarded trains and prototype racecars, zoomed up the mountain and sprinted to the peak in tank tops and climbing boots. It’s a crazy tradition, and using archival footage, voice-over interviews and insights by endurance runners, the directors capture it with gonzo glee, helped along by some digitally altered footage of actors making the ascent. Along the way, there are train wrecks, high-altitude rescues, dementia and other perils, all presented by filmmakers who recognize the batshit craziness required of these athletes to transform such a dangerous activity into a tradition. It lags at times, but The Mountain Runners nonetheless captures what it takes for seemingly normal men to drop logic in search of a bitchin’ trophy and town pride. AP KRYZA. NW Film Center’s Whitsell Auditorium. 7 pm Thursday, Jan. 24.

My Name Is Joy

F [ONE NIGHT ONLY] Imagine

you’re a poet who gets a letter from a pleased fan, say Portland filmmaker Tom Chamberlin. Wouldn’t you be happy? Then Chamberlin fills up notebooks with analysis and films himself reading your poetry for two months. He feels “seduced” by your lines and says, “I’m just going to pack my stuff up and come looking for you.” After scoping out your house, he calls you from a public pay phone. You meet in a dive bar, and he thrusts a camera in your face. How do you feel now? Oddly enough, poet Sharon Doubiago feels fine, the one and only amazing moment in My Name Is Joy, Chamberlin’s video diary filmed in 1990. “This is a confessional,” Chamberlin announces. He’s confessing the details of his sociopathic life and of his obsession with Doubiago’s poetry collection The Book of Seeing With One’s Eyes, not the sin of his coup of the screen for vain purposes. The production of Joy and Chamberlin’s adolescent vacillations are splayed onscreen, the grotesque forerunners of reality TV to come. While editing video, he fast-forwards over a slow bit, with no acknowledgement that viewers, too, desperately want the same power. His dopey embarrassment at seeing himself on film is channeled to viewers, with excruciating shame soon fizzling into boredom. There’s 15 minutes of Chamberlin finding his way in his car and 20 minutes of Doubiago reading

MOVIES

her poetry. This is home video at its most mundane. Joy to his world, woe to ours. MITCH LILLIE. NW Film Center’s Whitsell Auditorium. 7 pm Wednesday, Jan. 23.

Oslo, August 31

[ONE WEEK ONLY] A Norwegian drama centered on one man’s battle with addiction. Living Room Theaters.

Parental Guidance

C- Upon discovering they’re the sec-

ond-tier grandparents, Billy Crystal and Bette Midler descend upon their daughter’s (Marisa Tomei) fully automated household to take care of their quirky grandkids while Tomei and her husband are out of town. Tired technology jokes aside, this is a fairly pleasant, predictable and feel-good holiday movie. PG. JOHN LOCANTHI. Clackamas.

Parker

A crime thriller based on Donald E. Westlake’s novels, starring Jason Statham and Jennifer Lopez. Not screened for critics. R. Fox Tower, Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Cornelius.

Reel Feminism: A Feminist Film Series

[ONE NIGHT ONLY] The feminist bookstore In Other Words inaugurates a new monthly film series. The first installment features Anna May Wong: In Her Own Words, a documentary about the first ChineseAmerican movie star, and The Thief of Baghdad, the 1924 silent film in which Wong co-starred with Douglas Fairbanks. Clinton Street Theater. 7 pm Wednesday, Jan. 23.

A Royal Affair

B Nikolaj Arcel’s brainy bodice-ripper tells the true story of the late-18th century love triangle among a mentally unstable and infantile Danish king; his English-born wife; and a forward-thinking, German-born physician. But for all its lush details and historical richness, A Royal Affair suffers from an overlong running time and scenes of oddly excessive restraint. R. REBECCA JACOBSON. Living Room Theaters.

Rust and Bone

B+ Rust and Bone’s soundtrack fea-

tures Bon Iver, “Love Shack” by the B-52’s, and Katy Perry’s “Firework.” Such contrivances are rivaled only by the film’s implausible premise: A driven trainer of orcas (Marion Cotillard), who has just lost her legs in a freak accident at a Sea Worldlike park on the French Riviera, falls in love with a thuggish drifter (Matthias Schoenaerts). It sounds like a romantic melodrama that’s been sprinkled with Free Willy dust and set to a college freshman’s road-trip playlist. And yet, in this film about beating the odds, both soundtrack and plot manage to do just that. Schoenaerts’ character, Ali, is a nightclub bouncer who breaks up a fight involving Cotillard’s Stephanie and escorts her home, nonchalantly commenting that she’s dressed like a whore. When he notes the photos of whales, she spits back: “You’re surprised a whore can train orcas.” But the relationship doesn’t build until after Stephanie’s catastrophe. Writer-director Jacques Audiard doesn’t really explain what impels Stephanie to phone Ali after losing her legs, but by this point, we don’t care. We’ve seen each character broken, and their union feels hardwon. Cotillard turns in a phenomenal, intoxicating performance. With eyes that simultaneously exude warmth and steeliness, she conveys Stephanie’s anguish, shame and eventual embrace of pleasure with raw energy and vulnerability. R. REBECCA JACOBSON. Fox Tower.

The Sessions

A- As a polio survivor who decides

at age 38 to lose his virginity, John Hawkes is astonishing: He spends the entire film on his back, head cranked at a 90-degree angle and spine contorted, but his wheezy voice and expressive eyes convey deep wells

CONT. on page 50

Willamette Week JANUARY 23, 2013 wweek.com

jan. 23-29

of pain and self-consciousness along with biting wit. R. REBECCA JACOBSON. Laurelhurst.

Seven Psychopaths

A- Seven Psychopaths is crazy fun.

R. MATTHEW SINGER. Laurelhurst.

Silver Linings Playbook

A- David O. Russell emerges with

one of filmdom’s funniest stories of crippling manic depression. R. AP KRYZA. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Cornelius.

The Skin I Live In

A- [THREE DAYS ONLY, REVIVAL]

Pedro Almodovar’s violently outre film is perhaps the most twisted and unsettling he’s made, but it’s not exactly a horror movie. Instead, it is a throwback to golden-age Hollywood’s mad-scientist movies, as if the dress-up games of Vertigo had been conducted by James Whale around the time he made Bride of Frankenstein. R. AARON MESH. Fifth Avenue Cinema. 7 and 9:30 pm Friday, 3 pm Sunday, Jan. 25-27.

important moral questions it’s no wonder they’ve dominated discussion. Yet I’m unable to see the film as some rah-rah, kill-the-motherfucker piece of jingoism that pines for the days when detainees wore dog collars. Instead, it’s as uncomfortable in its relentlessly raw representations of torture as it is in its characters’ emotionally ambiguous reactions—or nonreactions— to those acts of torture. Take the first scene of torture: CIA officer Maya (Jessica Chastain) has just arrived in Pakistan and is present for the violent interrogation of a detainee named Ammar. Maya cringes, clenches her jaw, clasps her arms across her chest and at one point covers her eyes. But there’s an unsettling slightness to these reactions. The torture is terrible and

sad in its brutality; Maya’s reactions are terrible and sad in their faintness. Where Maya shows no faintness is in her single-minded drive to root out bin Laden, which Chastain fiercely portrays. Her determination, as we know, pays off, and Zero Dark Thirty builds to the pivotal raid on bin Laden’s compound by a group of Navy SEALs. Largely shot with night-vision lenses, it’s a dramatic shift from earlier cinematographic naturalism, but it remains eerily and grippingly real. The suspense is thick, the carnage plentiful, and the celebration brief and fraught—this is no simple act of triumphalism. Much like the film’s earlier depictions of torture, it’s wrenchingly decisive yet, ultimately, inconclusive. R. REBECCA JACOBSON. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Cinetopia, Cornelius.

REVIEW TRIBECA FILM

MOVIES

Skyfall

A- Skyfall brilliantly maintains the

gritty modernist aesthetic of Casino Royale while injecting elements that were largely absent in that installment, including gadgetry, sass and humor. PG-13. AP KRYZA. Edgefield.

The Sting

[TWO NIGHTS ONLY, REVIVAL] With Robert Redford as a 1920s trickster and Paul Newman as a brilliant con artist, George Roy Hill’s 1973 film bagged seven Oscars, including Best Picture. PG. NW Film Center’s Whitsell Auditorium. 7 pm Friday and Monday, Jan. 25 and 28.

Švankmajer Shorts

[TWO NIGHTS ONLY] A wide-ranging collection of shorts from the iconic, bizarre Czech filmmaker Jan Švankmajer. NW Film Center’s Whitsell Auditorium. 7 pm Tuesday and 9 pm Friday, Jan. 29 and Feb. 1.

This Is 40

B Judd Apatow’s latest undertaking revisits Pete (Paul Rudd) and Debbie (Leslie Mann), the churlish yet lovable couple first introduced in Knocked Up. Pete and Debbie are turning 40 within a week of each other, and their lives are a depressing stew of resentment, regret and unfulfilling sex, all conveyed through sarcastic hyperbole. Though Apatow’s souped-up potty humor and fantastic cast keep the laughs coming from start to finish, This Is 40 at times frustrates in its insistence to be, well, just a movie about turning 40. But it’s still worth a watch: Apatow brings us close enough to Pete and Debbie that anyone can see a piece of themselves in their choppy love life. R. EMILY JENSEN. Clackamas.

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2

C- Put a stake in it already, will ya? PG-13. KELLY CLARKE. Eastport.

Winchester ’73

[ONE NIGHT ONLY, REVIVAL] Anthony Mann’s 1950 Western, with Jimmy Stewart as a cowboy seeking revenge for his father’s death. NW Film Center’s Whitsell Auditorium. 7 pm Saturday, Jan. 26.

Zero Dark Thirty

A- For all the talk about torture

Zero Dark Thirty has generated, you’d be forgiven for thinking director Kathryn Bigelow spends 157 minutes depicting detainees being waterboarded, strung up with ropes and crammed into confinement boxes. This is, of course, not the case. The majority of the film is an intricate police procedural about the decadelong hunt for Osama bin Laden, with a 30-minute climax depicting the assault on his Abbottabad compound. But those scenes of torture, front-loaded in the first third of the film, dredge up such challenging, uncomfortable and

Willamette Week JANUARY 23, 2013 wweek.com

kid with a bike: tim heidecker.

THE COMEDY Nearly everything that happens in Rick Alverson’s The Comedy is uncomfortable, off-putting and morally reprehensible. But the events also amount to a hilarious and needed screed against the ennui and insincerity of the film’s characters. Starring Tim Heidecker of Tim and Eric fame, The Comedy evinces a sensibility-testing variety of anti-comedy, like that pioneered by Andy Kaufman and seen more recently in Jackass. The loose narrative— really a series of semi-connected stunts—follows Heidecker’s Swanson as he and his equally overprivileged friends ride fixies, down PBR by the six-pack and quell their boredom by engaging in mean-spirited stunts directed at any poor soul kind enough to give them the time of day. Though Alverson and his onscreen cohorts initially appear to be building a monument to disaffected hipsterdom, they’re in fact knocking it down and examining what substance—if any—might be found among the oversized sunglasses and cutoff shorts. The film champions what it appears to mock and indicts what it appears to glorify. There isn’t always a 1-to-1 correlation between how inappropriately their antics begin and how funnily they end, but it’s close. Swanson takes this antisocial behavior to a new level of cruelty. He’s utterly deadpan in putting on the airs of a Hitler apologist while attempting to bed a fellow partygoer, and faux-polite while paying a cabbie $400 to drive said taxi recklessly around Williamsburg (where else?). But it’s all a defense mechanism. Swanson carries out misdeed after misdeed in order to provoke a reaction from people more in touch with the normal spectrum of human emotion, doing this to gain a sense of what it’s like to care something for the world around him. As evidenced by the pain in his eyes when these attempts fail, he’s disappointed time and again—the only characteristic that makes him even semi-relatable. At times, The Comedy feels disjointedly episodic in the way it strings incidents together with little connective tissue between them, but it maintains such a compelling tension between humor and discomfort that it’s often hard to notice. The results are not unlike a horror movie: The only thing more difficult than continuing to watch is averting your eyes and missing what might happen next. MICHAEL NORDINE.

The shocks and horrors of hipsterdom.

see it: The Comedy opens Friday at Clinton Street Theater.

jan. 25-31 BREWVIEWS

MOVIES

M g M / u a e n T e r Ta i n M e n T

HUnTERS -- an IMaX 3D EXPERIEnCE Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 11:15, 01:45, 04:15, 07:00, 09:45

Living Room Theaters

HAIL TO THE KING, BABY: It’d be weird enough if Don Coscarelli simply made a film about an elderly Elvis (Bruce Campbell) and JFK (Ossie Davis, who is decidedly black and not Irish) battling a resurrected Egyptian mummy from their nursing home. But the dude behind Phantasm and The Beastmaster ups the bizarro factor on 2002’s Bubba Ho-Tep by turning the oddball story into a genuinely affecting meditation on aging. Campbell, embracing his destiny of playing the King, makes Elvis a fat, horny and devastated shell of a man who groans his way into action. It’s the saddest, most moving film about a geriatric rock star and president squaring off against the undead ever made. AP KRYZA. Showing at: Hollywood. Best paired with: Miller High Life. Also showing: South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut (Laurelhurst). Kennedy School Theater

Lloyd Center 10 and IMAX

1510 NE Multnomah St., 800326-3264 HanSEL & GRETEL: WITCH HUnTERS -- an IMaX 3D EXPERIEnCE Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 12:25, 02:50, 05:15, 07:40, 10:10 OnE nIGHT STanD: OVERnIGHT MUSICaLS Wed 07:30

Bagdad Theater and Pub 3702 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 503-249-7474 WRECK-IT RaLPH FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue 06:00 FLIGHT Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue 08:45

Cinema 21

616 NW 21st Ave., 503-223-4515 56 UP Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 04:00, 07:00, 09:35

Clinton Street Theater

2522 SE Clinton St., 503-238-8899 THE COMEDY Fri-SatSun-Wed 07:30 THE ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW Sat 12:00 SaLMOn STORIES Sun 03:00 aLY BaIn MEETS THE CajUnS Mon 07:00 40TH annIVERSaRY OF ROE V. WaDE Tue 07:00

Mission Theater and Pub

1624 NW Glisan St., 503-249-7474-5 PORTLanDIa Fri 07:00, 10:00 WRECK-IT RaLPH Sat-Mon-Tue 05:30 FLIGHT Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 07:45 KILLInG THEM SOFTLY Sat-Mon-Tue 10:20

Century 16 Eastport Plaza

4040 SE 82nd Ave., 800-326-3264-952 HanSEL & GRETEL: WITCH HUnTERS Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 12:45, 05:45, 10:30 HanSEL & GRETEL: WITCH HUnTERS 3D FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 03:15, 04:30, 07:00, 08:10,

09:30 THE TWILIGHT SaGa: BREaKInG DaWn PaRT 2 Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 09:45 LInCOLn Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:00, 03:15, 06:30, 09:45 LIFE OF PI Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 12:10, 06:10 LIFE OF PI 3D Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 03:10, 09:10 SILVER LInInGS PLaYBOOK Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 01:45, 04:30, 07:20, 10:05 THE HOBBIT: an UnEXPECTED jOURnEY Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 03:00, 10:15 THE HOBBIT: an UnEXPECTED jOURnEY 3D Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 06:40 LES MISÉRaBLES Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 12:00, 06:15 ZERO DaRK THIRTY Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:05, 03:30, 07:00, 10:25 jaCK REaCHER Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 01:20 DjanGO UnCHaInED Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-TueWed 02:55, 06:30, 10:10 GanGSTER SQUaD Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 01:50, 04:35, 07:15, 09:55 THE LaST STanD Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 02:15, 05:00, 07:35, 10:20 BROKEn CITY Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 01:40, 04:25, 07:10, 09:50 MaMa Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 01:55, 04:45, 07:30, 10:00 a HaUnTED HOUSE Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 01:30, 03:45, 06:00, 08:15, 10:30 MOVIE 43 Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-TueWed 12:15, 02:45, 05:15, 07:45, 10:15 PaRKER Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 02:00, 04:50, 07:40, 10:25 BUTCH CaSSIDY anD THE SUnDanCE KID Wed 02:00, 07:00

Edgefield Powerstation Theater

2126 S.W. Halsey St., 503-249-7474-2 WRECK-IT RaLPH Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 06:00 SKYFaLL Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 09:00

5736 NE 33rd Ave., 503-249-7474-4 WRECK-IT RaLPH FriSat-Sun-Tue-Wed 05:30 FLIGHT Fri-Sat-SunTue-Wed 07:50 HOTEL TRanSYLVanIa Fri-SatSun-Mon 03:00 BEaSTS OF THE SOUTHERn WILD Fri-Sat-Tue-Wed 02:30

Fifth Avenue Cinemas

510 SW Hall St., 503-725-3551 THE SKIn I LIVE In Fri-SatSun 03:00

Hollywood Theatre

4122 NE Sandy Blvd., 503-281-4215 BEWaRE OF MR. BaKER Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 07:00, 09:00 BUBBa HO-TEP Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue 09:45 HYDE PaRK On HUDSOn FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 07:15 anna KaREnIna Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 09:15 COnVEnT OF THE SaCRED BEaST Tue 07:30 BLaCK SUnDaY Wed 07:30 SOUnD CITY DOn

NW Film Center’s Whitsell Auditorium

1219 SW Park Ave., 503-221-1156 THE STInG Fri 07:00 COnSPIRaTORS OF PLEaSURE Sat-Sun 07:00 WInCHESTER ‘73 Sat 07:00 FaUST Sun 05:00

Regal Pioneer Place Stadium 6

340 SW Morrison St., 800-326-3264 HanSEL & GRETEL: WITCH HUnTERS 3D Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 01:15, 03:45, 07:00, 09:45

St. Johns Theatre

8203 N Ivanhoe St., 503-249-7474-6 WRECK-IT RaLPH Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 06:00 FLIGHT Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 01:00, 08:30

Regal Cinemas Bridgeport Village Stadium 18 & IMAX

7329 SW Bridgeport Road, 800-326-3264 HanSEL & GRETEL: WITCH

341 SW 10th Ave., 971-222-2010 HanSEL & GRETEL: WITCH HUnTERS 3D Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 12:00, 02:20, 02:45, 05:00, 07:30, 09:00, 09:40 MaHLER On THE COUCH Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 02:00, 04:15, 06:40 OSLO, aUGUST 31ST Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 09:50 THE KID WITH a BIKE Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-TueWed 12:15, 07:50 MaMa Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:20, 02:30, 04:40, 06:50, 09:30 SISTER Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 11:50, 05:10 a ROYaL aFFaIR Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:45, 02:10, 04:50, 07:15, 08:50 HOLY MOTORS Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 02:25, 10:00 aRGO Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-TueWed 12:10, 04:25, 07:00

Century at Clackamas Town Center and XD

12000 SE 82nd Ave., 800-326-3264-996 HanSEL & GRETEL: WITCH HUnTERS Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 03:10, 05:40, 08:10, 10:40 HanSEL & GRETEL: WITCH HUnTERS 3D Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-TueWed 11:00, 01:30, 02:20, 04:00, 04:50, 06:35, 07:20, 09:10 aRGO FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:00, 10:40 LInCOLn Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:55, 03:25, 07:00, 10:20 LIFE OF PI Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 04:05, 10:05 LIFE OF PI 3D Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 01:00, 07:05 SILVER LInInGS PLaYBOOK Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 10:55, 01:50, 04:40, 07:30, 10:20 THE HOBBIT: an UnEXPECTED jOURnEY Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 02:45, 10:10 THE HOBBIT: an UnEXPECTED jOURnEY 3D Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:05, 06:30 THE IMPOSSIBLE Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 10:55, 01:40, 04:25, 07:10, 09:55 LES MISÉRaBLES Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:30, 03:05, 06:40, 10:10 ZERO DaRK THIRTY FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:00, 03:30, 07:00, 10:30 THIS IS 40 Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 01:45 jaCK REaCHER Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 11:40 DjanGO UnCHaInED Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 11:15, 03:00, 06:50, 10:25 PaREnTaL GUIDanCE Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 02:25, 07:20 GanGSTER SQUaD Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:10, 02:00, 04:55, 07:45, 10:35 THE LaST STanD Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:10, 01:55, 04:35, 07:15, 10:05 BROKEn CITY FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:45, 02:35, 05:15, 07:55, 09:45, 10:35 MaMa FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:25, 02:05, 04:40, 07:25, 10:00 a HaUnTED HOUSE Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:05, 05:00, 09:55 MOVIE 43 Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-TueWed 12:20, 02:50, 05:20, 07:50, 10:15 PaRKER Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:05, 01:55, 04:45, 07:35, 10:30 BUTCH CaSSIDY anD THE SUnDanCE KID Wed 02:00, 07:00 OnE nIGHT STanD: OVERnIGHT MUSICaLS Wed 07:30 THE BEST OF RIFFTRaX LIVE: PLan 9 FROM OUTER SPaCE SubjecT To change. call TheaTerS or ViSiT WWeek.coM/MoVieTiMeS For The MoST up-TodaTe inForMaTion Friday-ThurSday, jan. 25-31, unleSS oTherWiSe indicaTed

Willamette Week JANUARY 23, 2013 wweek.com

CLASSIFIEDS DIRECTORY 52

JOBS

SERVICES

TO PLACE AN AD CONTACT:

BULLETIN BOARD MOTOR

ASHLEE HORTON

52 53

MUSICIANS’ MARKET MATCHMAKER

503-445-3647 • ahorton@wweek.com

TRACY BETTS

CARPET CLEANING SW Steampro 503-268-2821

www.steamprocarpetcleaners.com

COMPUTER REPAIR NE Portland Mac Tech 25 SE 62nd Ave. Portland, Oregon 97213 503-998-9662

STYLE SEWING & ALTERATIONS N Spiderweb Sewing Studio 503-750-6586 spiderwebsewingstudio@gmail.com 7204 N. Leonard St Portland, Or 97203

1012 SE 96th Ave. Portland, Oregon 97216 503-255-2988 Next to Target (Mall 205)

HOME IMPROVEMENT SW Jill Of All Trades 6905 SW 35th Ave. Portland, Oregon 97219 503-244-0753

PROPERTY MANAGEMENT SW JMPDX LLC 1505 SW 6th #8155 Portland, Oregon 97207 503-730-5464

TREE SERVICE NE Steve Greenberg Tree Service 1925 NE 61st Ave. Portland, Oregon 97213 503-774-4103

AUDIO SE

Inner Sound

1416 SE Morrison Street Portland, Oregon 97214 503-238-1955 www.inner-sound.com

S. Mike Klobas Painting

WILLAMETTE WEEK’S GATHERING PLACE

Interior & Exterior 503-646-8359 CCB #100360 NE Clemmens Interior & Exterior Painting

971-340-8095 brandonclemmens@gmail.com CCB#198286

AUTO COLLISION REPAIR NE Atomic Auto 2510 NE Sandy Blvd Portland, Or 97232 503-969-3134 www.atomicauto.biz

AUTO REPAIR SE Family Auto Network 1348 SE 82nd Ave. Portland, Oregon 97216 503-254-2886 www.FamilyAutoNetwork.com

MOVING

HAULING N LJ Hauling

503-839-7222 3642 N. Farragut Portland, Or 97217 moneymone1@gmail.com

WillametteWeek Classiﬁeds JANUARY 23, 2013 wweek.com

RENTALS

WELLNESS

FREE WILL ASTROLOGY

BACK COVER CONTINTUED

Kay Snow Writing Contest

MUSICIANS MARKET

Accepting entries, fiction, poetry, screenplays, nonfiction; students grades 1-12 enter free; deadline 4/23, www.willamettewriters.com/1/kaysnow.php.

FOR FREE ADS in 'Musicians Wanted,' 'Musicians Available' & 'Instruments for Sale' go to portland.backpage.com and submit ads online. Ads taken over the phone in these categories cost $5.

CAREER TRAINING AIRLINE CAREERS

ATTEND COLLEGE ONLINE

from home. *Medical, *Business, *Criminal Justice, *Hospitality. Job placement assistance. Computer available. Financial Aid if qualified. SCHEV authorized. Call 800-481-9472 www.CenturaOnline.com (AAN CAN)

GENERAL

LESSONS

ADOPTION ADOPTION:

Abundant love, patience and security are what we offer your baby. Travel, excellent education, arts and adventure await with two committed dads. Please call, TEXT or email anytime about Mark and Jeff; 503-683-2043 or markandjeff1@gmail.com.

*ADOPTION*

Adoring couple, TV Executive & News Producer yearn to LOVE & CHERISH your baby. Expenses paid 1-800-844-1670 *JB&Amy* PREGNANT? CONSIDERING ADOPTION? Talk with caring agency specializing in matching Birthmothers with Families nationwide. LIVING EXPENSES PAID. Call 24/7 Abby’s One True Gift Adoptions. 866-413-6293 (AAN CAN)

EVENTS

LLC CELL PHONE REPAIR Alienbox 503-919-1022 N Revived Cellular & alienbox.com Technology 7816 N. Interstate Ave. Portland, Oregon 97217 503-286-1527 www.revivedcellular.com

BULLETIN BOARD NON-PROFIT DISCOUNTS AVAILABLE.

PAINTING

GADGET SE Gadget Fix

503-445-2757 • tbetts@wweek.com

Become an Aviation Maintenance Tech. FAA approved training. Financial aid if qualified - Housing available. Job placement assistance. CALL Aviation Institute of Maintenance 877-492-3059 (AAN CAN)

HOME

STUFF

54 JONESIN’

JOBS SERVICE DIRECTORY

JANUARY 23, 2013

www.ExtrasOnly.com 503.227.1098 Help Wanted!

Make extra money in our free ever popular homemailer program, includes valuable guidebook! Start Immediately! Genuine! 1-888-292-1120 www.howtowork-fromhome.com (AAN CAN)

Help Wanted!!

Make $1000 A WEEK mailing brochures from home! FREE Supplies! Helping Home-Workers since 2001! Genuine Opportunity! No experience required. Start Immediately! www.mailingcentral.net (AAN CAN)

Presents

Nrityotsava

An evening of Indian Classical and Folk Dances

Featuring Bharatanatyam, Kuchipudi, Odissi, Kathak, and Folk Dance Performances from the Greater Portland Area

Buying, selling, instruments of every shape and size. Open 11am-7pm every day. 4701 SE Division & 1834 NE Alberta.

MUSIC LESSONS

MISCELLANEOUS PSALMS - 1

Blessed is the Man that walks NOT in the counsel of the ungodly, nor stands [in support of ] the Way of Sinners, nor sits in the seat of the scornful. But his delight is in the LAW [Commandments] of the Lord; And in HIS Law does he meditate day and night. Therefore, he shall be like a Tree planted by the Waters, that brings forth fruit in his Season; his leaf shall not wither - and whatsoever he does shall prosper. Yet the ungodly are NOT so! But are like the chaff, which is scattered by the Wind. For the ungodly shall NOT stand in the Day of Judgment - nor Sinners in the Congregation of the Righteous. As the Lord knows [and helps] the Way of the Righteous; But the Way of the ungodly shall cause him to Perish! (Psalms 1:1-6) For a just Man may fall seven times, yet [with the Lord’s Help] he shall rise again! But the wicked shall fall into mischief [and not be found again] (Proverbs 24:16) chapel@gorge.net

GUITAR LESSONS Personalized instruction for over 15yrs. Adults & children. Beginner through advanced. www.danielnoland.com 503-546-3137 Learn Jazz & Blues Piano with local Grammy winner Peter Boe. 503-274-8727.

STUFF FURNITURE

BEDTIME

Evans Auditorium - Lewis & Clark College 615 SW Palatine Hill Road • Portland Saturday, February 2, 2013 at 4:00 PM A Benefit Program for Kalakendra (Tickets $15.00 for everyone including members) Admission free for Friends of Kalakendra www.kalakendra.org

Oregon CMA 24 hour Hot-line Number: 503-895-1311. We are here to help you! Information, support, safe & confidential!

TWINS

MATTRESS

COMPANY

FULL $ 89

QUEEN

(503)

760-1598

109

7353 SE 92nd Ave Mon-Fri 9-5, Sat 10-2

Custom Sizes » Made To Order Financing Available

SUPPORT GROUPS

Got Meth Problems? Need Help?

RENTALS ROOMMATE SERVICES ALL AREAS - ROOMMATES.COM. Browse hundreds of online listings with photos and maps. Find your roommate with a click of the mouse! Visit: www.Roommates.com. (AAN CAN)

Please check back next week for

ww presents

I M A D E T HIS

INTERNATIONAL CAT SHOW

MCMENAMINS GRAND LODGE

& FOOD DRIVE FOR OREGON FOOD BANK Friday, Saturday & Sunday

In Forest Grove is now hiring a LMT! Qualified apps must have an open & flex sched including, days, eves, wknds and holidays. We are looking for applicants who have prev exp and enjoy working in a busy customer service-oriented enviro. Please apply online 24/7 at www.mcmenamins.com or pick up a paper app at any McMenamins location. Mail to 430 N. Killingsworth, Portland OR, 97217 or fax: 503-221-8749. Call 503-952-0598 for info on other ways to apply. Please no phone calls or emails to individ locs! E.O.E.

JONESIN’ PG. 54

Theory Performance. All levels. Portland 503-227-6557 and 503-735-5953.

TRADEUPMUSIC.COM

5:15 PM meeting. G/L/B/T/Q and friends. Downtown Unitarian Universalist Church on 12th above Taylor. 503-309-2739.

Now hiring 10 spontaneous individuals. Travel full time. Must be 18+. Transportation and hotel provided. Call Shawn 800-716-0048

EMPLOYMENT OPPORTUNITIES

CLASSICAL PIANO/ KEYBOARD

ALANON Sunday Rainbow

Live like a rockstar.

$$$HELP WANTED$$$ Extra Income! Assembling CD cases from Home! No Experience Necessary! Call our Live Operators Now! 1-800-405-7619 EXT 2450 www.easywork-greatpay.com (AAN CAN)

INSTRUMENTS FOR SALE

January 25, 26 & 27, 2013 Friday 4pm to 9pm * Sat & Sun 9am to 5pm

Holiday Inn @ Portland Airport 8439 NE Columbia Blvd Free Parking $5 + 2 cans of food * $7 without food Children under 12 FREE SEE KITTIES - FEED THE PEOPLE The first 100 spectators each day will receive a giftbag from Pet Pros, valued at over $20! www.tncc.org

Vendors Selling Everything For Your Cat! Community Cat Coalition & Oregon Friends of Shelter Animals

Meet the Breeds • Savannah • Maine Coon • Pixie Bob • Kurilian • Sphynx • Bengal +250 Cats on Exhibition

TO PLACE AN AD CONTACT:

WELLNESS COUNSELING

ASHLEE HORTON

503-445-3647 • ahorton@wweek.com

REL A X!

INDULGE YOURSELF in an - AWESOME FULL BODY MASSAGE

call

Charles

TRACY BETTS

SERVICES BUILDING/REMODELING

503-740-5120

lmt#6250

Buy 3 massages get 4th one free. 1 hr massage $75

CLEANING

503-445-2757 • tbetts@wweek.com

YOU ARE 10 DIGITS AWAY from your 15 minutes of fame!

Buy 3 Express Facials get 4th one free, Express Facial $60 Monday–Saturday, 9–6:

ELIXIA WELLNESS 503.232.5653

Sundays: COMMON

GROUND WELLNESS 503.238.1065

KEN (LMT#10773) nowradiance.wordpress.com

HANDYPERSON MILLS HANDYMAN AND REMODELING 503-245-4397. Free Estimate. Affordable, Reliable. Insured/Bonded. CCB#121381

LANDSCAPING Bernhard’s Professional MaintenanceComplete yard care, 20 years. 503-515-9803. Licensed and Insured.

Counseling Individuals, Couples and Groups

TREE SERVICES Steve Greenberg Tree Service

Stephen Shostek, CET Relationships, Life Transitions, Personal Growth

Affordable Rates • No-cost Initial Consult www.stephenshostek.com

503-963-8600

Gambling Too Much?

Free, confidential help is available statewide. Call 1-877-MY-LIMIT to talk to a certified counselor 24/7 or visit 1877mylimit.org to chat live with a counselor. We are not here to judge. We are here to help. You can get your life back.

Totally Relaxing Massage

Featuring Swedish, deep tissue and sports techniques by a male therapist. Conveniently located, affordable, and preferring male clientele at this time. #5968 By appointment Tim 503.575.0356

PHYSICAL FITNESS BILL PEC Personal Trainer & Independent Contractor

• Strength Training • Body Shaping • Nutrition Counseling

Pruning and removals, stump grinding. 24-hour emergency service. Licensed/ Insured. CCB#67024. Free estimates. 503-284-2077

MOTOR GENERAL “Atomic Auto New School Technology, Old School Service” www.atomicauto.biz

www.billpecfitness.com LOOK FOR ME ON FACEBOOK

AUTOS WANTED CASH FOR CARS: Any Car/Truck. Running or Not! Top Dollar Paid. We Come To You! Call For Instant Offer: 1-888-420-3808 www.cash4car.com (AAN CAN)

ALTERNATIVE MEDICINE

OMMP Resource Center MEN’S HEALTH Take Viagra?

Stop paying outrageous prices! Best prices... VIAGRA 100MG, 40 pills+/4 free, only $99.00. Discreet shipping, Power Pill. 1-800-374-2619

MASSAGE (LICENSED) Skilled, Male LMT

Massage openings in the Mt. Tabor area. Call Jerry for info. 503-757-7295. LMT6111.

Chat LIVE with other callers! UNLIMITED VIP access

Only $19/ WEEK!

mention you saw this ad in WW and receive 10% off for your 1st visit!

AT THE GYM, OR IN YOUR HOME

503-252-6035

It's FREE to participate in the FORUMS and create your own FORUM on any topic.

Providing Safe Access to Medicine Valid MMJ Card Holders Only No Membership Dues or Door Fees

“Simply the Best Meds” www.rosecitywellnesscenter.com

•STRAIGHT•GAY•BI LIVECHAT • PERSONALS • FORUMS

503-222-CHAT (2428) VANCOUVER 360-696-5253 TACOMA 253-359-CHAT

EVERETT 425-405-CHAT SEATTLE 206-753-CHAT

www.livematch.com

LIVELINE DOES NOT PRESCREEN MEMEBERS! 18+ WillametteWeek Classiﬁeds JANUARY 23, 2013 wweek.com

TO PLACE AN AD CONTACT:

ASHLEE HORTON

503-445-3647 • ahorton@wweek.com

TRACY BETTS

503-445-2757 • tbetts@wweek.com

JONESIN’ by Matt Jones full because we ___!” 58 Half-owner of Lake Titicaca 59 “Disappear” band 60 ___ in the bud 61 Overly emphatic assent said with a ﬁst pump 62 Nair competitor 63 “Strawberry Wine” singer Carter Down 1 Textbook section 2 Shy and quiet 3 In any way 4 Alternative to gov, edu or com 5 Word before pistol or kit 6 Totally necessary 7 Tiger’s ex 8 2016 Olympics city 9 Type and type and type 10 Samba singer ___ Gilberto 11 “Our meringues stand up so well that you’ll see ___” 12 Win at chess 13 Dalmatian feature 18 Cantankerous old guy 23 “I ___ over this...” 25 “Terrible” ruler 26 Dealer’s packets 28 DEA ﬁgures: var. 29 Music magazine 30 Held onto 31 Word on a Kool-Aid packet 32 Greek vowel 33 “Our races are scrutinized down to the millisecond because we use ___” 34 His nose was tweaked many times

37 Submitted a ballot, perhaps 38 Simon ___ 40 Auto race units 41 London entertainment district 43 Words at the start of a countdown 44 Epic ___ 46 The P in PBR 47 King in the Super

Mario Bros. series 48 Hubble of the Hubble Telescope 49 Gossip 50 Not quick to catch on: var. 51 Fencing sword 52 De ___ 56 “A Chorus Line” hit 57 Go kaput

©2012 Jonesin’ Crosswords (editor@jonesincrosswords.com) For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle #JONZ607.

Located Downtown

18 and over

Strip Club Hot Lap Dance Club Featuring Jordan

324 sw 3rd ave • 503.274.1900

BUSINESS HOURS ARE 54

WillametteWeek Classiﬁeds JANUARY 23, 2013 wweek.com

6PM TO SUNRISE

last week’s answers

Across 1 Mosque officials 6 Stop, drop or roll 10 Agents of change? 14 Tag cry 15 Olympic figure skater Kulik 16 Trade 17 “Our movies are so riveting they contain ___” 19 One of Marlon’s brothers 20 Immigrant’s class, briefly 21 Horse with whitish hairs 22 Mineral used in sandpaper 24 Sugar alternative in chewing gum 26 Block, as a river 27 Dog doc 28 Where press releases arrive 31 Kartik Seshadri’s instrument 34 Bean whose top producer is Cote d’Ivoire 35 One of George of the Jungle’s pals 36 It’s got an outskirts 37 Hard to see through 38 Play like a bad CD 39 Lance on the bench 40 Frivolous decisions 41 Stopped existing 42 Strands in the back 44 2013 Golden Globes cohost Tina 45 Say without saying 46 It opens many doors 50 Bitter end 52 Cafe au ___ 53 Lofty poem 54 Candid 55 “Our pillows are extra

“Buy One, Get One Free”–you can’t aﬀord *not* to own these!

TO PLACE AN AD CONTACT:

ASHLEE HORTON

503-445-3647 • ahorton@wweek.com

TRACY BETTS

Week of January 24

503-445-2757 • tbetts@wweek.com

BACK COVER CONTINUED... TO PLACE AN AD ON BACK COVER CONTINUED call 503-445-3647 or 503-445-2757

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): What if your unconscious mind has dreamed up sparkling answers to your raging questions but your conscious mind doesn’t know about them yet? Is it possible you are not taking advantage of the sly wisdom that your deeper intelligence has been cooking up? I say it’s time to poke around down there. It’s time to take aggressive measures as you try to smoke out the revelations that your secret self has prepared for you. How? Remember your dreams, of course. Notice hunches that arise out of nowhere. And send a friendly greeting to your unconscious mind, something like, “I adore you and I’m receptive to you and I’d love to hear what you have to tell me.” CANCER (June 21-July 22): In his book Our Band Could Be Your Life, Michael Azerrad says that the Cancerian singer-songwriter Steve Albini is a “connoisseur of intensity.” That means he’s picky about what he regards as intense. Even the two kinds of music that are often thought of as the embodiment of ferocious emotion don’t make the grade for Albini. Heavy metal is comical, he says, not intense. Hardcore punk is childish, not intense. What’s your definition of intensity, Cancerian? I see the coming weeks as prime time for you to commune with the very best expressions of that state of being. Be a connoisseur of intensity. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): There’s a butterfly sanctuary at the Como Park Zoo and Conservatory in Saint Paul, Minnesota. It’s called the Enchanted Garden. As you enter, you see a sign that reads, “Please do not touch the butterflies. Let the butterflies touch you.” In other words, you shouldn’t initiate contact with the delicate creatures. You shouldn’t pursue them or try to capture them. Instead, make yourself available for them to land on you. Allow them to decide how and when your connection will begin to unfold. In the coming week, Leo, I suggest you adopt a similar approach to any beauty you’d like to know better. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Do you ever fantasize about a more perfect version of yourself? Is there, in your imagination, an idealized image of who you might become in the future? That can be a good thing if it motivates you to improve and grow. But it might also lead you to devalue the flawed but beautiful creation you are right now. It may harm your capacity for self-acceptance. Your assignment in the coming week is to temporarily forget about whom you might evolve into at some later date, and instead just love your crazy, mysterious life exactly as it is. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Novelist Jeffrey Eugenides says he doesn’t have generic emotions that can be described with one word. “Sadness,” “joy,” and “regret” don’t happen to him. Instead, he prefers “complicated hybrid emotions, Germanic train-car constructions,” like “the disappointment of sleeping

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): After analyzing your astrological omens for the coming weeks, I decided that the best advice I could give you would be this passage by the English writer G. K. Chesterton: “Of all modern notions, the worst is this: that domesticity is dull. Inside the home, they say, is dead decorum and routine; outside is adventure and variety. But the truth is that the home is the only place of liberty, the only spot on earth where a person can alter arrangements suddenly, make an experiment or indulge in a whim. The home is not the one tame place in a world of adventure; it is the one wild place in a world of set rules and set tasks.” SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): My general philosophy is that everyone on the planet, including me, is a jerk now and then. In fact, I’m suspicious of those who are apparently so unfailingly well-behaved that they NEVER act like jerks. On the other hand, some people are jerks far too much of the time, and should be avoided. Here’s my rule of thumb: How sizable is each person’s Jerk Quotient? If it’s below six percent, I’ll probably give them a chance to be a presence in my life -- especially if they’re smart and interesting. According to my analysis of the astrological omens, Sagittarius, this gauge may be useful for you to keep in mind during the coming weeks. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): The French painter Cezanne painted images of a lot of fruit in the course of his career. He liked to take his sweet time while engaged in his work. The apples and pears and peaches that served as his models often rotted before he was done capturing their likenesses. That’s the kind of approach I recommend for you in the coming days, Capricorn. Be very deliberate and gradual and leisurely in whatever labor of love you devote yourself to. No rushing allowed! With conscientious tenderness, exult in attending to every last detail of the process. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): “Nobody can be exactly like me. Even I have trouble doing it.” So said the eccentric, outspoken, and hard-partying actress Talullah Bankhead (1902-1968). Can you guess her astrological sign? Aquarius, of course. Her greatest adventure came from trying to keep up with all the unpredictable urges that welled up inside her. She found it challenging and fun to be as unique as she could possibly be. I nominate her to be your role model in the next four weeks. Your assignment is to work extra hard at being yourself. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): The Dardanelles Strait is a channel that connects the Black Sea to the Mediterranean Sea, separating Europe from Asia. In some places it’s less than a mile wide. But the currents are fierce, so if you try to swim across at those narrow points, you’re pushed around and end up having to travel five or six miles. In light of the current astrological omens, I’m predicting that you will have a comparable challenge in the coming days, Pisces. The task may seem easier or faster than it actually is. Plan accordingly.

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TAURUS (April 20-May 20): The United States Congress spends an inordinate amount of time on trivial matters. For example, 16 percent of all the laws it passed in the last two years were devoted to renaming post offices. That’s down from the average of the previous eight years, during which time almost 20 percent of its laws had the sole purpose of renaming post offices. In my astrological opinion, you Tauruses can’t afford to indulge in anything close to that level of nonsense during the next four weeks. I urge you to keep time-wasting activities down to less than five percent of your total. Focus on getting a lot of important stuff done. Be extra thoughtful and responsible as you craft the impact you’re having on the world.

with one’s fantasy” or “the excitement of getting a hotel room with a mini-bar.” He delights in sensing “intimations of mortality brought on by aging family members” and “sadness inspired by failing restaurants.” In the coming days, Libra, I think you should specialize in one-of-a-kind feelings like these. Milk the nuances! Exult in the peculiarities! Celebrate the fact that each new wave of passion has never before arisen in quite the same form.

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ARIES (March 21-April 19): The German government sponsored a scientific study of dowsing, which is a form of magical divination used to locate underground sources of water. After ten years, the chief researcher testified, “It absolutely works, beyond all doubt. But we have no idea why or how.” An assertion like that might also apply to the mojo you’ll have at your disposal, Aries, as you forge new alliances and bolster your web of connections in the coming weeks. I don’t know how or why you’ll be such an effective networker, but you will be.

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