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Interesting article and great insight on a guy who knows how to coach football [“Chip Kelly’s Secret Offense,” WW, Dec. 19, 2012]. I am sure all of us know people that are very good at what they do, may even be your current boss but they are very difficult people to be around. They take personal license with their position at work and feel that they are not paid to be kind or considerate, just be proficient at getting the job done and all sins are covered. Unfortunately, that is a very shortsighted view of life and our care for others and their point of view. I do not know Chip Kelly but am a 15-year season ticket holder and a big fan of the program. I greatly enjoy our success on the football field and am quite proud of the small part we all play as fans. But I am very concerned about Chip’s lack of concern for what others think or feel about his actions, attitude and lack of any concern for how anyone (other than Uncle Phil) feels about him. He is borderline rude, abrupt, and uncaring about most aspects of his job outside of coaching kids on the practice and game field. We may try to alibi that away with excuses but fielding questions from the media and meeting/talking with program supporters and boosters has been a part of any coach’s job since college football started. Chip’s salary and perks are paid by us ticket holders, and just like any other “shopkeeper” in the world of capitalism and commerce we live in, we are in some measure beholding to their opinions and good will. Chip obviously does not see it that way, and the AD and administration of the UO have allowed him that latitude. That is unfortunate as it takes no more effort in his responses or daily schedule to be kind, considerate and involved with those of us that allow him to do what he does and get
paid quite well for it. Thanks for the success these past five years, Chip; we appreciate your talent and effort with the kids at the UO football program. Now, go take your act to the NFL and flex your muscles and see what you can do there. For one, I am ready for you to move on and insult other folks with your lack of social graces. The UO has played football for over 115 years and will be fine without your childish actions. “Jay Echternach”
MUSTARD’S LAST STAND
You recently published an article about Vancouver’s “lone” food cart, the Mighty Bowl, and clearly someone didn’t do their homework [Eat Mobile, WW, Dec. 5, 2012]. The Wiener Wagon has been obviously located in downtown ’Couve since the 1970s. How can I know this for sure? I’m the owner’s daughter, and I remember him driving me to school with the Wiener Wagon in tow for many of my formative years. I’m not here to plug my dad’s business (because he’s been in business for longer than I’ve been alive and doesn’t need a lame plug), but I’m more here to poke holes in your journalism because I care more about food than politics. Now go get a hot dog from my dad and tell me it wasn’t worth it! Lindsay Deacon Northwest Portland Editor’s note: We see a difference between hot dog stands and food carts but understand others may not. LETTERS TO THE EDITOR must include the author’s street address and phone number for verification. Letters must be 250 or fewer words. Submit to: 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Fax: (503) 243-1115, Email: mzusman@wweek.com
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Willamette Week DECEMBER 26, 2012 wweek.com
I keep reading that The Oregonian’s print circulation is declining because of shrinking advertising revenue. How can Willamette Week and the Portland Mercury afford to continue printing when they don’t even charge a fee? —Paywalled in Portland Oh, you know—it’s the usual combination of international heroin trading and sex trafficking, augmented by a room in the basement where Satan himself spins fluoridated drinking water into gold for our benefit. The issue of free vs. non-free papers is kind of a red herring. There’s an old saying that a paper’s newsstand price mostly goes to cover the expense of charging for the paper—advertising is where the real money is. While I can’t speak for the Big O, this axiom still holds true at Willamette Week, provided you have a sufficiently expansive definition of the phrase “real money.” Still, all that stuff was true in 1990.
What you really want to know, it seems to me, is how printed newspapers are holding up now, in an Internet-crowded media market. “Print advertising is still the primary source of income for Willamette Week, though that has certainly declined,” says editor-in-chief (and my slightly scary boss) Mark Zusman. “Papers are each seeking their own path to try and restore the dollars lost over the past few years.” Basically, print is holding it together by following the same financial advice that your Uncle Clarence has been spouting at family gatherings for years: diversify, diversify, diversify! For WW, this includes promoting events like MusicFestNW. The Mercury is getting into the concertticketing racket. (Anything that gores the bloated ox of Ticketmaster is OK in my book.) That said, our diversification does not actually include prostitution or drug rings. But if Satan is reading this, and really does want to spin gold in our basement—bubala, let’s talk. QUESTIONS? Send them to dr.know@wweek.com
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About two weeks ago, the Oregon Zoo acknowledged 135 people got sick after eating food prepared by at least one zoo restaurant. Health officials suspect the cause was a norovirus, which is passed from human feces. WW has learned the zoo’s restaurants have not undergone a county health inspection since 2006. All other restaurants and food carts must undergo inspections twice a year. But state law governing restaurant inspections doesn’t cover those run by government agencies. The loophole includes Metro, the regional government that runs the zoo and its restaurants. County officials say they had regularly inspected zoo restaurants until 2006. That’s the year the county, acting on legal advice, stopped inspecting them. Metro spokesman Jim Middaugh says county inspectors were always welcome to examine the zoo’s restaurants. But Jon Kawaguchi, environmental health supervisor for Multnomah County, says the county repeatedly offered to inspect zoo restaurants but was turned down by Metro. “We offered consultative inspections,” Kawaguchi says. “They did not accept our offer to be inspected.” Middaugh says zoo restaurant employees do daily inspections, adding there’s no evidence county inspections would have prevented the suspected norovirus outbreak. He acknowledges Metro has not hired an outside inspector to ensure restaurant employees are following state health rules. “The zoo maintains and enforces safe food-handling practices,” Middaugh says. “Zoo management will continue to reinforce and insist on those practices with all food-handling staff.” State health officials believe the 135 diners at the zoo were made sick by a norovirus, or Norwalk virus, which causes vomiting, diarrhea and stomach pain. They believe the food was contaminated between Dec. 5 and 7. Oregon Public Health Division spokesman Jonathan Modie says people can get the very contagious norovirus from an infected person, contaminated food or water, or by touching contaminated surfaces. Zoo officials say two restaurants, Cascade Grill and AfriCafe, and the zoo’s food preparation areas were later sanitized. Modie says a subsequent investigation found no big problems. Kawaguchi says the zoo has since asked county inspectors to consult with its restaurants. WW’s Give!Guide hit the $1 million mark ahead of schedule and is well on its way to reaching its goal of $1.75 million by midnight, Dec. 31. Your gifts benefit 110 great local nonprofits. Learn more about them at wweek.com/giveguide. Read more Murmurs and daily scuttlebutt.
NEWS
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THE NEWS YOU READ THE MOST ON WWEEK.COM. By WW sta f f
243-2122
Face facts, readers: You wanted to read about lurid four-star hotel sex and awkward death, Bart Simpson and Doctor Who—not to mention a winningly surly football coach and an election-year smear campaign alleging interspecies carnality involving the city’s favorite elephant. We have the proof right here. What follows are the top 10 stories from wweek.com in 2012, based on number of page views. Sure, we might have left it to some graybeard editor to intone about the most important journalistic contributions of the year. But why do that when you’ve already picked them with a click of your mouse or a tap on your touch screen? The fact is, your tastes weren’t just for the offbeat and unpleasant. You made stories that took seriously our elections process, the fate of journalism in our city, and the fabric of public discourse among your top choices as well. Our 2012 list includes stories that appeared in print and others that were offered online only. For this list, we combined top stories on the same topic—several articles about troubles at The Oregonian, for example, finished high in the rankings. We also combined results from our general and primary election endorsement issues, which finished No. 1 and No. 2 of everything we put on wweek.com this year. Notably, one story from 2011 continues to get huge numbers: David Cay Johnston’s article “9 Things the Rich Don’t Want You to Know About Taxes” (WW, April 13, 2011). We didn’t include it in this year’s list, but if we had, it would have finished in the top five. So here’s a look back—with updates—at your favorite stories of 2012.
#1 WW ’S POLITICAL ENDORSEMENTS More than 160,000 readers clicked to see whom and what WW endorsed in more than 50 races and ballot-measure campaigns during the spring and fall elections. We’d like to think it was because our readers are especially engaged in civic life, or that our incisive logic and persuasive writing were responsible. Maybe Portlanders are just weird. But Portland did see the most hotly contested mayor’s race in 20 years, with Eileen Brady, Charlie Hales and Jefferson Smith each inspiring devoted followings. (We endorsed Hales in both races.) Many of our endorsements provoked controversy. We irked some readers by endorsing a GOP newcomer, Dr. Knute Buehler, in the secretary of state’s race over Democrat incumbent Kate Brown. (She crushed him.) Others were outraged that we dared inveigh against a hybrid city arts tax. (It passed easily.) But the calls that have generated the most passionate response were our decisions to endorse Republican incumbents in four metroarea House races: Matt Wand of Troutdale, cont. on page 8 Willamette Week DECEMBER 26, 2012 wweek.com
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top stories of 2012 No. 3. The novel’s heroine, Anastasia Steele, and her dominating partner, billionaire Christian Grey, reportedly have a tryst in that lift. (Claustrophobia caused us to stop reading before that part.) Erickson declines to say exactly how racy the photo shoot became. “They stopped on their own accord,” he says. “They had their fun, and all good things must come to an end.” —AARON MESH
Shawn Lindsay and Katie Eyre of Hillsboro, and Julie Parrish of West Linn. (All but Parrish lost.) Many readers criticized us for endorsing Republicans at all, given these were close races and control of the House was at stake. Others noted that WW failed to point out where these GOP candidates stood on the issue of abortion. “While we certainly do not expect Willamette Week to impose a litmus test on reproductive health in its endorsement process,” Laura Terrill Patten of Planned Parenthood Associates wrote in an email, “we were disappointed that the editorial board did not clarify where these candidates stand on an issue that matters to a vast majority of its readers.” —NIGEL JAQUISS
#3 CLACKAMAS COUNTY BALLOT FRAUD
#2 THE HEATHMAN’S FIFTY SHADES OF GREY In May, wweek.com reported the Heathman Hotel was offering special guest packages based on E.L. James’ mommy porn novel, Fifty Shades of Grey, which features steamy scenes at the Portland landmark. Packages included a $40 “Inner Goddess” deal that featured a bottle of PouillyFumé wine and a gray necktie (used as a sex restraint in the book), and a $2,700 “Charlie Tango” weekend that included a helicopter ride for six and custom dinner. We skimmed the book to find out what happens in the Heathman. In brief: flirting,
vomiting, eating oysters, taking a helicopter to an apartment to get spanked. The post went viral. Since then, says Chris Erickson, the Heathman’s general manager, two couples have bought the “Charlie Tango” package. “I was a little bit surprised,” he says. “We were doing it a little bit tongue-in-cheek.” More than 150 guests have purchased the
$40 wine-and-tie combo. In September, James herself was spotted at the hotel she made infamous. The Oregonian reported James played a few notes on the Heathman’s piano before being recognized. Gawkers now pop by the Heathman, including a group of women who took provocative photos of each other in elevator
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Across the country this year, Republican candidates alleged that ballot fraud threatened the integrity of the elections process. The Clackamas County clerk’s office might have helped prove their point—just not as they intended. Four days before the election, WW broke the news that a temporary Clackamas County elections worker was under criminal investigation for marking in bubbles for Republican candidates on ballots she was helping to process. Secretary of State Kate Brown, the state’s top elections official, said as many as six ballots were involved, but the elections worker, Deanna Swenson, told WW there were only two. Subsequent criminal charges showed she was right. Swenson, 55, was indicted Dec. 4 on two charges each of altering a ballot and voting more than once, both
top stories of 2012 Class C felonies, and official misconduct, a misdemeanor. The context for the alleged crimes was a troubled elections division run by Clackamas County Clerk Sherry Hall—not to mention hotly contested commissioner races in Clackamas County, the most evenly divided between Republicans and Democrats of Oregon’s largest counties. Meanwhile, Swenson’s defense contends her actions were not partisan or even intentional but the result of her state of mind and her medical condition. Swenson told reporters after her indictment that she never intended to alter ballots and that her thinking that day had been affected by the prescription medication prednisone. “We are in the process of getting her evaluated medically,” her attorney, Jason Short, says. “She was taking other medications, and there may have been some mental health issues. And she was pretty sick that day.” —NIGEL JAQUISS
#4 CHIP KELLY’S SECRET OFFENSE Last week’s cover story about dissatisfaction with the University of Oregon’s football coach (“Chip Kelly’s Secret Offense,” WW, Dec. 19, 2012) has lit up the Web. The profile—which details boosters’ unhappiness with the social skills of Oregon’s winningest football coach ever—broke into the year’s top 10 stories in a matter of days.
The story, which also examined Kelly’s coaching style and his possible bolt to the NFL, created considerable heat among UO fans and Duck haters alike. “Chip Kelly is the best coach Oregon has ever had and possibly ever will have,” wrote one commenter. “So he doesn’t gladhand the big boosters with even bigger egos? He doesn’t play nice with the media? Big deal.” Since the story’s publication, the Ducks’ hopes for a quick settlement with the National College Athletics Association over recruitment infractions have faltered. UO now faces NCAA sanctions this spring—by which time Kelly, if he takes a pro deal, may be long gone. —BRENT WALTH
#5 TRIBULATIONS AT THE OREGONIAN Stories about Portland’s soon-not-tobe-daily daily newspaper ranked high in readership—especially stories about the death of editorial page editor Bob Caldwell in March. Interest intensified as The Oregonian misled readers about the circumstances of the veteran newsman’s death (a heart attack while with a prostitute, something the paper never acknowledged). And the direction of the editorial page under publisher N. Christian Anderson III since then? Cowardice in the presidential race (no endorsement), and the ousting of veteran editorial cartoonist Jack Ohman, who was unrelenting in his mocking of
NEWS
the paper was headed toward a nondaily future, relying even more on OregonLive. com. Meanwhile, the paper is waging an inexplicable, postage stamp-size media war in Forest Grove with the Pamplin Media Group’s Forest Grove News-Times. The Oregonian has launched its own weekly in the Washington County burg of 22,000. One Pamplin executive, Portland Tribune president Mark Garber, called the O’s strategy “along the lines of fiddling while Rome burns.” —AARON MESH
Mitt Romney. But the story of far more import is the looming fate of the paper itself. In August, WW reported that the Oregonian’s owners, New Jersey-based Advance Publications Inc., will probably end the paper’s 150-plus years of daily publication. (“Stop the Presses,” WW, Aug. 8, 2012). The O would follow the New Orleans Times-Picayune, also owned by Advance, which now publishes three days a week. About one-third of the Times-Picayune staff lost jobs in the change. Employees at another Advance property, the Cleveland Plain Dealer, have been told to expect the same. After our story, Oregonian executives began acknowledging to anxious staffers
#6 RENT A PUP: HANNAH THE PET SOCIETY Hannah the Pet Society opened in 2011 with a bold new business plan: to lease Portlanders their pets. For a sign-up fee and a flat monthly rate, Hannah “pet parents” get a dog, cat, rabbit or guinea pig— and all veterinary care, food, training and other needs met. The catch, as WW revealed in a November cover story? Hannah technically retains ownership of the animals, and pet parents must sign contracts locking in payments while yielding some control over the welfare of their pets (“Rent a Pup,” WW, Nov. 14, 2012). The company’s enthusiasts—including its 9,500 Facebook fans—love that their pet-care costs are predictable and that the cont. on page 10
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Willamette Week DECEMBER 26, 2012 wweek.com
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top stories of 2012
business found them great companions. But complaints rolled in, detailing excessive fees and opaque policy explanations. WW reported that the Better Business Bureau gave Hannah an “F” rating based on two complaints, and the Oregon Department of Justice also received a complaint. Many animal rescue groups also said they won’t give Hannah animals to adopt out. Since our story, the BBB and Justice Department say they’ve each received one additional complaint. Hannah continues to grow. Founded by veterinarian Scott Campbell, who started the Banfield Pet Hospital chain in 1987 and then sold it in 2006 for millions, the company plans to expand nationwide from its original store at Clackamas Town Center. Hannah plans a new health and education center in Tigard, following the opening of a veterinary and training facility near Mall 205 and another retail store in Washington Square mall. “The overwhelming and near-universal Internet and in-person support from Hannah pet parents in response to various inaccuracies in media reports has been very gratifying,” Campbell writes in a follow-up email to WW, “and has validated our belief in this new way to provide quality pet care.” —ANDREA DAMEWOOD
#7 WI-FI LAWSUIT STICKS SCHOOLS WITH THE BILL In June, WW reported that a father’s law-
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When we broke the story about Clear Channel Communications ending progressive talk radio on KPOJ-AM 620, the webosphere went nuts. Many listeners suspected a partisan assassination carried out by Clear Channel part-owner Bain Capital. But as WW later reported (“Who Killed KPOJ?” WW, Nov. 28, 2012), Clear Channel is up to its transmitters in debt and saw KPOJ’s low ratings as too big a drag (it ranked 22nd out of about 50 area stations). Ex-KPOJ morning talk host Carl Wolfson plans to launch a Web-based radio show Jan. 21 after raising his Kickstarter goal of $40,000. Meanwhile, the latest Arbitron report shows ratings at the “new” 620 AM, with its Fox Sports Radio format, have fallen since the change. —AARON MESH suit against the Portland Public Schools alleging Wi-Fi use by the district endangered his daughter had so far cost taxpayers $172,559 to defend. (“Wireless Waste,” WW, June 20, 2012). In the suit, David Mark Morrison claimed Wi-Fi signals were “genotoxic, carcinogenic, neurotoxic and otherwise… harmful” to his daughter. Morrison, a rare-books dealer, subscribes to pseudoscientific claims that Wi-Fi and related technologies cause everything from brain cancer to infertility
to digestive complaints. U.S. District Judge Michael W. Mosman dismissed the case in July. Morrison’s attorney, Shawn E. Abrell, did not return a voice-mail message left by WW at his Camas, Wash., office. (A receptionist says Abrell doesn’t have a cell phone.) The district’s final legal costs: $204,045. “In round numbers,” says school district spokesman Matt Shelby, “it’s about two classroom teachers for a school year.” —ANDREA DAMEWOOD
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#10 TARDIS ROOM: FISH AND SPACESHIPS A short and simple bar review on wweek. com went wild on the Web in February. Perhaps being called the TARDIS Room and getting linked to the official Doctor Who Facebook page helped do the trick. Owner Mick Shillingford created the bar—themed after the long-running BBC TV series Doctor Who—out of a quick remodel of his Fish & Chip Shop at 1218 N Killingsworth St. Since the review and Web attention, Shillingford has added more memorabilia, including TARDIS lamps and Christmas tree lights. He’s also added a game room with a pinball machine and table where people can play Magic the Gathering. Shillingford says almost any press
about the TARDIS Room receives colossal attention on the Internet. Similar reviews by other publications have generated mountains of Web hits, he says. “It’s been pretty crazy since then,” he adds. “We just got busier and busier.” The bar’s global popularity on the Internet outpaces patronage of the physical bar, but Doctor Who fans are often spotted posing outside the bar’s restroom, fashioned to look like the TARDIS, the blue police box that conceals Doctor Who’s time machine.
And Shillingford says a Colorado couple once made a detour to Portland on the way to Seattle just so they could see it. —AARON CAMPBELL
SPECIAL RECOGNITION: MAYORAL MADNESS We launched this silly competition in March because we were getting bored with the mayor’s race. We picked 64 Portland citizens and landmarks we thought would
NEWS
make more entertaining mayors—such as Storm Large, Carrie Brownstein and the giant Paul Bunyan in Kenton—than the actual candidates. We then pitted them against each other in an NCAA Tournament-style bracket. Readers had fun—Mayoral Madness finished just out of the top 10. But who knew the candidates would actually take it seriously? The University of Portland launched a social-media campaign for soccer star Micaela Capelle. So did the Oregon Zoo on behalf of Packy the Elephant, who won enough rounds to go up against blogger Jack Bogdanski. That’s when things turned dark. Bogdanski, the prolific and cranky hand behind bojack.org, went negative, accusing the 50-year-old Oregon Zoo pachyderm of campaigning with public money and having sex with a rhinoceros. After winning, a somewhat penitent Bogdanski began advocating on Packy’s behalf, urging the zoo to release its elephants to sanctuaries. (One bojack.org blog post title: “Packy’s 50 years—of hell.”) Leverage star Timothy Hutton won it all with a Twitter campaign aided by celebrity friends, beating Portland divorce lawyer Jody Stahancyk in the finals. “He told me he was going to invite me out for dinner, and he didn’t,” Stahancyk laughingly says of Hutton. “So he turned out to be like every other politician.”
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Willamette Week DECEMBER 26, 2012 wweek.com
Morgan green-Hopkins
GUS PORTLAND’S GREATEST FILMMAKER AND HIS CONTROVERSIAL NEW MOVIE.
What would Portland look like without Gus Van Sant? The elk statue on Southwest Main Street would still be there, but would you see it the same way if Keanu Reeves and River Phoenix hadn’t huddled at its base in My Own Private Idaho? Would the “Nob Hill Pharmacy” sign from Drugstore Cowboy still hang on what’s now a sports bar? Would Old Town’s convenience stores and seedy hotels retain the same gritty charm were it not for the romance of Mala Noche? Even if you’re too young to remember the Old Portland depicted in these films, certain landmarks take on Van Sant’s tint—either because they always had it, or because we now see them through his lens. And this city wouldn’t be the same place were it not for Van Sant, arguably the most important Portland auteur of our lifetimes, and a force that has inspired a generation of creators. Van Sant’s success, of course, extends beyond the shores of the Willamette. He’s one of a handful of directors who successfully balances edgy and experimental films with hits like Good Will Hunting and Finding Forrester. Van Sant’s newest film, Promised Land, is his biggest commercial release since 2008’s Milk. Like that film, it takes on issues of political and social importance— in this case, the contentious practice of hydraulic fracturing. But, as with Milk and much of Van Sant’s oeuvre, Promised Land is most keenly interested in the human textures of characters and their relationships with one another. For this issue, we got the famously reserved Van Sant to talk movies with his friend and peer Todd Haynes, director of Far From Heaven and I’m Not There. They discussed the genesis of Promised Land, Van Sant’s rebellion against his generation’s MTV-influenced aesthetic, Old Portland, new Portland and Portlandia. We also asked Van Sant’s friends, admirers and critics to put his work in perspective. Finally, I reviewed his new movie, Promised Land, starring Matt Damon and John Krasinski. It’s set not on the gray streets of Portland but in the Appalachian foothills of Pennsylvania. If you ever end up in that country, see if you don’t look at it through Van Sant’s lens. —Rebecca Jacobson GUS cont. on page 14 Willamette Week DECEMBER 26, 2012 wweek.com
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GUS
cont. Morgan green-Hopkins
CO-DIRECTORS LOCAL FILMMAKERS GUS VAN SANT AND TODD HAYNES TALK FRACKING, MTV AND OLD PORTLAND. Todd Haynes, the Portland-based Academy Award-nominated director of Velvet Goldmine, Far From Heaven and the Bob Dylan biopic I’m Not There agreed to interview fellow Academy Award-nominated director Gus Van Sant in Van Sant’s Pearl District condo in mid-December. WW offered a few suggested topics but let the two directors talk between themselves. This is an abridged version of their 80-minute conversation. Todd Haynes: Thanks for having me over. So, seriously, congratulations on the movie. It would be interesting to hear how you came to it, because it was a pre-existing script before you came on board. Is that true? Gus Van Sant: Yeah, it was a story that started out as a project with John Krasinski. He was shooting in Alaska [Big Miracle], and he was in a small town that had been completely taken over by a kind of mining operation, where I think they used hydraulics. And because of the interface that he had during the making of this movie, he wanted to write a story that had an environmental situation as a backdrop. And then he made a movie called Away We Go that Dave Eggers had written and somehow he hired or he talked Dave Eggers into writing on this project. From whatever the original idea was with Dave Eggers, it morphed into wind power. And it had certain characters, I guess, who were similar. I never read it. Eggers had to go write a novel, so he couldn’t write further on it, and then Krasinski ran into Matt, and I think they hit it off. TH: Were they in something together? GVS: No, but Emily [Emily Blunt, Krasinski’s wife] was in The Adjustment Bureau. That’s how they met. [Matt has] been busy being an actor for the last—17 years or something, since Good Will Hunting. But I think he has had a desire to write, so when he ran into Krasinski, who hadn’t written anything, they started writing together in the same way that I think Ben Affleck and Matt had written. Which is like two actors and they’re acting out the parts and they write it down, which is an interesting way to do it. TH: Did they already know that they would play the roles that they ended up playing? GVS: Yeah, I think they had the idea that Krasinski would play the environmentalist and Matt would play the lead, the salesman. And also Matt was going to direct it. I think he had some commitments and he realized that he didn’t have the time to commit to a movie as a director. He texted me saying, “I have this project, would you be interested in reading it?” And I, on my own, had followed what little press announcements there were about this project, and I had sort of imagined, maybe they’ll run into trouble. You know, you kind of always want to be involved. And so I thought, oh my God, this little thought that I had is actually coming true. Like Matt is actually calling and looking for a director. So I read it really fast. I almost said yes without reading it because he told me the story. And I didn’t know about hydraulic fracturing a year ago. But I really liked the story, and it resembled Good Will Hunting on the page. There was a lot of funny dialogue, a lot of jokes and things, and then a serious subject on top of it. TH: And then this whole interesting birth, coming from 14
Willamette Week DECEMBER 26, 2012 wweek.com
talking shop: Filmmakers todd haynes and gus Van sant chat in Van sant’s pearl District condo.
two actors who are, as you said, improvising. The story follows the Matt Damon character, who’s working to pass these fracking contracts in this Pennsylvania farm community. I was so interested watching…the way that you’re asked to sympathize with the Matt Damon and Frances McDormand characters, especially in contrast to John Krasinski’s character, who’s the environmentalist and who basically comes off as this obnoxious, almost frat boy manipulator of town sentiments. So as a liberal viewer of this movie, you’re being asked to align yourself exactly against the grain of your own kind of presumptions about what fracking is and who these people are. GVS: I’ve never really had a chance to make a film about a businessman, but I grew up the son of a businessman in a community of businessmen in Darien, Connecticut. It’s like a bedroom community of New York City—all the dads take the train in. I’m completely fascinated with that world, and I had written about it when I was first starting to write stuff, but I never really got a chance to do The Man in the Gray Flannel Suit or some story like that. But I am attached to it, so here was this opportunity. [Matt Damon’s character] is like a corporate salesman, like my father was a salesman, so you’re aligned with him because he’s your lead character. Plus, it’s Matt Damon, so he’s…easy to follow as your good lead character. What I noticed about the script was, you’re really rooting for him and things kind of get tougher and tougher…and then this other adversarial character shows up, Krasinski’s environmentalist, and it starts to become a really interesting conflict for the script. The type of character that would probably be the adversarial character is your hero, which I’m actually used to doing. The characters that I’ve made a lot of films about are the antiheroes, but this is an odd version of it. TH: It has a more upfront moral question throughout. [Damon] says it several times: “I’m a good man.” Who is good and who is trustworthy in this dynamic is the thing that’s shaking out as you watch it. That did certainly make me think of Capra…and it sounds like Capra also came up in your guys’ discussion, but not necessarily from the start. GVS: I think I was probably the guy who mentioned Frank Capra, because I’m not even sure they were paying attention to that type of film. I think they were just naturally doing that on their own, like they’re kind of their own
Frank Capras in their own real lives. So I don’t think they had Capra in mind, but when I showed up, that’s what I was sort of thinking of. TH: One assumes the left-leaning viewer of this movie doesn’t need to be convinced that there’s a problem with this industry. Maybe this is something that comes up differently from film to film and project to project, but how much do you think about your audience and who you’re speaking to? GVS: That’s a good question. I usually am trying to just speak to myself, and then through that, the audience is just like myself. TH: It’s only a question because— GVS: Because of the politics of it? TH: Yeah, in a way you learn stuff about fracking by watching this film. GVS: Yeah, I learned everything I know about fracking from this film. The thing about hydraulic fracturing, or fracking, is that there hasn’t been a lot of it. I think Louisiana has had the most history, and one of our actors was from Louisiana and he had seen lots of stuff that was bad for his community, like he’d seen…[it] breaking up families, pretty much just over the money. People were actually taking up arms against each other, literally guns, in fighting over the money. TH: From the little I know, because it’s so unregulated and there aren’t federal laws that unify the practice, it’s state by state, and so industry has a great advantage of going in there, and it’s created this huge boom where natural gas is being produced and apparently the prices of natural gas have gone down as a result. GVS: There are actually some clean-air regulations and laws that for a while they were subverting. I think that changed, at least in New York state. Pennsylvania is different. It’s a business boom. When we were shooting last February, we started our production up in Pittsburgh. TH: So you really shot in Pennsylvania for Pennsylvania?
CONT. GVS: [Fracking industry types] were having conventions in the same hotels that we were staying in. TH: Oh my God, that’s trippy. GVS: All the people there were learning about how their businesses could help the process. If they were in the shipping business or the steel business or the pipe-making business, all these businesses were learning about the ways in. We were learning alongside those guys. We were shooting something, and they were having township meetings in the places we were shooting. TH: This sounds like blowing smoke, but it’s just such a pleasure to watch this film, because it’s assured, considered filmmaking in this era of increasingly obligatory handheld narrative film. I felt like this movie is an example. You want to teach students how to tell a story by watching this film. GVS: That’s my favorite thing about film, is technique. The stories are the stories, and they’re kind of the ultimate problem in a movie, but all the rest is the illustrative part. As filmmakers, we’re kind of illustrators. The history of film is so short that you can look at a silent movie from the ’20s and see that they’re so much more elegant in a lot of ways. But film grammar, when I was learning and writing Mala Noche, adapting Walt Curtis’ book—there’s a certain point in your self-schooling when you’re only in your 20s and you’re really absorbing everything possible. I was in my 20s when VHS started to come out, so you could actually watch stuff, play it back, all of a sudden, whereas in the ’60s you couldn’t. And at the same time as VHS was coming out, there was MTV. When MTV was first on the air, people were trying to, like, illustrate music, so they were stealing from all these different places, like from history. They were actually just taking historic Salvador
Dali or Buñuel scenes and sticking them in their videos, and handheld started to be used. So MTV kind of created this monster. For some reason the in-studio camera was handheld, and there was this weird stuff happening, right in 1980, in advertising and MTV. The guy was holding the camera on his shoulder but moving back and forth intentionally, just to jazz up what would normally be a static Dick Clark kind of a camera. That was the most offensive, like a faux handheld. TH: How’s Portland been treating you? This paper suggests that many Portlanders feel you are a product of this city and wonder if you agree with that. I’d argue that maybe a certain Portland is the product of you. Do you think that Portland still exists? GVS: I came to Portland in high school, and I went to Catlin Gabel for a year and a half, and then I went to Rhode Island for school, but I would come back in the summertimes…and I eventually moved back here to do Mala Noche in ’83. That’s when I really started living here again. TH: Yeah, getting to know this place as a young adult. GVS: Yeah, and I was working. I met the sort of artists that were here: Walt Curtis, who’s a poet. Penny Allen was a filmmaker, and I worked as a soundman on her film in 1977…called Property. It was about the Corbett area of town and the land development that was happening at the time, because it was a very cheap place to live. It was like hippies in the ’60s, and by the ’70s people were renting their houses but could never afford to buy them because they were living so hand to mouth. TH: Where’s the Corbett area? GVS: Just south of Portland State. It’s still a nice little
GUS
neighborhood. At the time, though, it was a very inexpensive neighborhood. Penny herself lived there and she was making a film about how her neighbors were unable to withstand evictions from their houses by developers who were basically going to fix up the houses and sell them to a new type of person who was a young professional. They couldn’t figure out a way to do it without compromising themselves. It’s kind of a great movie. An early docudrama. I had read Walt’s book, Mala Noche, while I was doing the sound on Property. And it was the type of story that…for me, was a gay story, but it was something that seemed to be interesting as a book, but as a film it was something that I just had never seen before, so it seemed like a logical thing to try as an experiment. TH: And that’s a very different Portland. GVS: Yeah, that’s a very different Portland. Like you can see it in Property, you can see Portland in Mala Noche. It just wasn’t quite—I mean, Portland, I think, is the same today, for me. There is a whole bunch of new people that have arrived, and then we have a TV show about it— TH: I was gonna say! GVS: Portlandia, which is really funny. TH: Do you watch it? GVS: I’ve watched the first two seasons. I don’t think the third season has started yet. Have you appeared in it? TH: I have not. GVS: Uh oh, they’re gonna come after you. GUS CONT. on page 16
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15
cont.
GUS AMONG US WE ASKED FOUR PORTLANDERS FOR THEIR PERSPECTIVES ON GUS VAN SANT. HERE’S WHAT THEY SAID. JON RAYMOND, Author I first laid eyes on Gus Van Sant sometime around 1990. It was at the Clinton Street Theater, and he was screening Mala Noche in the lead-up to the release of My Own Private Idaho, I think. Or maybe it was 1989, leading up to Drugstore Cowboy. I’m not sure. Those years are kind of hard to penetrate these days. I do remember what he was wearing that night, though: a pair of scuffed Doc Martens; black jeans, possibly zipper-fly, with a slight taper to the legs; a plain black hoodie; and an olive green T-shirt (actually, I’m not exactly sure about the color; it could’ve been white or striped). I remember he could have used a haircut, too. I also remember the way he entered the building—a little bit hesitantly, his eyes carefully closed to peripheral distractions, hands in the pockets of his hoodie. He looked shy. Having never really seen a living artist before, this was a memorable night for me. So this is what a filmmaker looks like, I thought. Interesting. These days you see a lot of filmmakers around Portland, as well as lauded painters, sculptors, musicians, writers and chefs. Sometimes I wonder what it’s like for a kid to grow up here now, knowing that at least some of the houses she walks by at night are studded with Oscars and Emmys, backyard studios stacked with canvases destined for international art fairs. It would be a different experience than my youth, for sure. Back then, it was an unthinkable proposition that Portland could produce objects about which the rest of the world gave a shit. To be in Portland was more or less to exist behind a two-way mirror, seeing out but not being seen, stuck in a world where time had stopped moving, maybe around 1978. (It wasn’t so bad that way, either.) If there is one person responsible for coaxing Portland out into the wider arena of cultural history, it’s Gus. (Sleater-Kinney’s Janet Weiss is responsible, too, but I think Gus deserves greater credit.) His utterly individual, yearningly beautiful early films, followed by his bigger, more commercially ambitious films, followed by his intensely artful death-themed films, followed by more big films, followed by more small films, have stacked up into a career that I like to think could only flow out of this earth. Quietly, almost invisibly, he has educated generations of art makers and aspirants here and elsewhere in the finer nuances of good taste and wild creative enthusiasm, standing as the main living conduit for the spirit of the beatnik poetry that infused him as a young artist and never left. Walking out of the Clinton Street Theater that night, I didn’t really know how lucky I was. I knew the movie I’d seen was both gorgeous and tough, but who could have known I’d have the pleasure of living in Gus’ world the rest of my life?
AARON MESH, WW staff writer If you can bear it, now is the necessary time to return to Gus Van Sant’s Elephant. Next year marks the 10th anniversary of the director’s re-creation of the Columbine killings. That means it’s been a decade since Van Sant set up cameras in 2002 at North16
Willamette Week DECEMBER 26, 2012 wweek.com
elePhant.
My Own Private idahO.
east Portland’s Whitaker Middle School—condemned the year before, after WW revealed it was contaminated with radon gas—and followed a poison that was even harder to trace. I don’t need to tell you how that horror continues to stalk us. All you have to do is turn on the television to see the pictures: a mall in Clackamas County, an elementary school in Connecticut. So why should you go back to Elephant, when it never went away? Why should you put yourself through that again? It is not a healing movie. For all its drowsy imagery, it is relentlessly shattering. But Elephant is vital—not because the movie provides answers, but because it provides a clear demarcation of where the search for meaning must stop. In its first hour, the film rifles through every potential root cause of mass shootings: bullying, Nazi obsessions, inattentive parents, violent video games. But it never lands on a solution. In fact, it seems to drift along as if medicated or distracted. This is Van Sant at the full extension of his Béla Tarr-influenced long takes, and his camera follows a footfall length behind the heads of the amateur teen actors as they amble through Whitaker’s halls. They go nowhere, until they suddenly reach oblivion. The downside of such open-endedness is that it can
at times reduce Elephant to an aestheticized study of beautiful boys engaged in reflexive violence. (The maleon-male gaze is an unmistakable pillar of Van Sant’s canon—depending on your sympathies, he’s either a dirty not-so-old man or a brave pioneer reveling in the fact that gay people as well as straight want to look at pretty young things.) But both the pristine gorgeousness of the male leads and the seeming aimlessness of the scenes are deployed to a definite purpose. And here is why it is vital to endure Elephant once more. The movie is not the floating poem you remember. It is an iron trap. It snaps shut on us, forcing us into a meat locker with a human mind we do not want to consider. Those long hallway shots? They follow at the exact angle of a first-person shooter game. And the beatific face of Alex (Alex Frost), who seems like the more gentle and impressionable of the two killers, is a mask. It hides a person who anticipates a morning of random slaughter with the advice, “Most importantly, have fun, man.” Once he gets his hands on a gun—grotesquely easily, since it’s home-delivered—he turns the outside world into the inside of his head. Van Sant closes Elephant with a shot backing away from Alex as he taunts two classmates with his semiautomatic rifle, deciding which one to shoot (or shoot first) with a
E l E p h a n t & l a s t D ay s : h B O F I l M s ; M y O w n p r I vat E I D a h O : n E w l I n E C I n E M a ; G E r r y : E p s I l O n M O t I O n p I C t u r E s
GUS
CONT.
GUS
ends. I have never seen a Béla Tarr film in my life, but I love Gerry. I also love the idea of someone showing up to see Gerry, excited for the next collaboration between Van Sant and Matt Damon, that Good Will Hunting duo. Gerry is required viewing. It was not made in Portland, but it might be my favorite Van Sant film. At the very least, it is his funniest.
VIVA LAS VEGAS, Author and stripper
LAST DAYS.
GERRY.
game of “Eeny, meeny, miney, moe.” There is no solving this. There is no comprehending him. The world’s more full of weeping than we can understand. And so we cut to clouds, and to credits—a list of all the people responsible.
JAMES WESTBY, Filmmaker In Last Days, famous and troubled musician Blake (Michael Pitt) gets a visit from a Yellow Pages salesman. Blake is wearing a dress with combat boots and can barely speak. The salesman comes in, pitching Blake to buy an ad in the phone book, seemingly oblivious to anything remotely odd about the circumstances. Their conversation continues about an ad that Blake supposedly took out for an auto parts store in the previous year’s edition of the Yellow Pages. It goes on for several minutes, in an unbroken take. Sad, sweet, awkward and hilarious, the scene is magical. And it serves well to illustrate the genius moments of comedy in Gus Van Sant’s films. In my late teens, VHS viewings of 1989’s Drugstore
Cowboy were multiple. This was a movie that harked back to the American cinema of the ’70s, a gritty and stylized look at drug thieves with an antihero who was a badass, but also kind of a pussy. And it was funny. Kelly Lynch calling James Remar a “fuckwad”? Friends and I said “fuckwad” for years, and I still pull it out now and again. Call somebody that: It feels good. The humor and personality of this film and its dialogue and delivery remind me now of the qualities I love most about my favorite Portlanders: dry, deadpan, mischievous, hysterical. And the atmosphere of Drugstore Cowboy was stunning to me. Portland seemed an awful lot like home (I am from Washington state), but in the film it was somehow richer and more haunting and beautiful. I wanted to look and act like Matt Dillon’s character Bob. When he walks by the old lady at the beginning of the film and says, “I like your hat,” it’s comic genius. I moved here because of that movie. The trajectory of Van Sant’s career is even funny. Few other renowned filmmakers have done so much goofing, intentionally or not. After some serious critical and popular success, he blasphemed and remade Alfred Hitchcock’s beloved Psycho. And Gerry? Gerry is fucking insane. It’s about two young men, both named Gerry. They walk through Death Valley. That’s kind of where the synopsis
Once upon a time (this is a fairy tale), late on a Tuesday night at Mary’s Club, a posse of handsome, well-dressed men entered the bar and quietly took seats along the back wall. Immediately whispers hissed through the club. “Sean Penn is here!” Headed to the stage, I was suddenly overwhelmed by an urge to hide. My knees felt weak. I had to command my legs to remain under me. For though it was true that Sean Penn had just walked in, so had Gus Van Sant. My hero. The man I had idolized since my first viewing of My Own Private Idaho. One thing I take very seriously as a dancer is communicating with my audience through music. At Mary’s, the jukebox has a limited but diverse selection of tunes. What could I play that would honor, wow and seduce my hero, in exactly three songs, while consciously reminding my legs to remain under me? The first song is a blur. I think it was the Wipers. Then I steadied myself with a shot of Hornitos and shrugged off my underthings to Ella Fitzgerald’s “Them There Eyes.” My third song, straight out of Gus’ Drugstore Cowboy, was “The Israelites” by Desmond Dekker. When the song ended, I curtsied, grabbed my robe and the generous stage contributions and scurried downstairs to the basement dressing room to find a gift for my prince. Now, we all know that Gus doesn’t play for my team and is not very likely to fall for a Mary’s Club girl. That wasn’t my intention. Like I said, I wanted to honor, wow and seduce him. So I dusted off my favorite pair of glass slippers—the ones with the 7-inch Lucite heels and the little ducks floating in the platforms. I also grabbed a CD by Coco Cobra and the Killers to give to Spicoli—I mean, Sean Penn—as it seemed rude not to include him in my total fan-girl meltdown. I presented Gus with my shoes and Sean with my CD. Sean, being garrulous, heterosexual and adept at getting into gals’ panties, got really excited about the CD, its Petaluma pedigree (“that’s where I LIVE!”) and the fact that we had both hung out with ex-Black Panther Pete O’Neal in Tanzania. Gus, being shy, humble and not-soheterosexual, graciously accepted the shoes, but said little. He probably gave them to Milo, his Australian shepherd, later that night. But he came back to Mary’s Club to visit several times after that, cast me in a couple of movies and—miracle of miracles—welcomed me into his circle of devoted friends. Months later, these two men reconvened to discuss a Gus movie that Sean was slated to star in. According to Gus, Sean asked after me, “that stripper,” and when Gus told him I was going to be his guest at the Cannes Film Festival, Sean’s eyes nearly popped out of his head. At Cannes, it became even clearer to me what a rare breed our Gus is. In France he is deified. It seemed he was on the cover of every industry magazine. But he’s hardly your archetypal director: egomaniacal, authoritarian, self-absorbed. Rather, he is humble, even shy. His films are infused with a sense of place and, like him, are quiet, humble and trenchant. And while he is an international celebrity, surrounded by adoring throngs wherever he hangs his hat, I sense that he—like me—would rather observe than be observed, and that although doors swing wide open for him in the most privileged places, he—like me—finds the most inspiration on the wet, gray and gritty streets of Portland. Willamette Week DECEMBER 26, 2012 wweek.com
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Thursday, December 27 • 9pm Lucifer’s Child Daggers Friday, December 28 • 9pm
A Bitchen Weekend
No Tomorrow Boys • The Cry! Stumblebum • A Happy Death Day 1 of a four-day weekend celebration with some of the bitchenest bands to play Slabby since Doug took over in February. Sunday, December 30 • 9pm
A Bitchen Weekend
Blood Buddies • Sharks from Mars Day 3 of a four-day weekend celebration with some of the bitchenest bands to play Slabby since Doug took over in February. Monday, December 31 • 9pm
A Bitchen Weekend New Year’s Eve Party Bloodtypes • Chemicals • Fasters Day 4 of a four-day weekend celebration with some of the bitchenest bands to play Slabby since Doug took over in February.
Within Spitting Distance of The Pearl
1033 NW 16th Ave. 971.229.1455 Everyday Noon - 2:30am
Happy Hour Mon - Fri noon-7pm • Sat - Sun 3-7pm Pop-A-Shot • Pinball Skee-ball • Air Hockey • Free Wi-Fi
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Willamette Week DECEMBER 26, 2012 wweek.com
WHAT ARE YOU WEARING?
STREET
SURPLUS SHOTS UNPUBLISHED FAVORITES OF 2012. P HOTOS BY MOR GA N GREEN -HOP KIN S wweek.com/street
SERENITY LANE alcohol/drug treatment
Saving Lives and Helping Put Families Back Together Since 1973 3 locations in Portland
503-244-4500 www.serenitylane.org
Willamette Week DECEMBER 26, 2012 wweek.com
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24 27 38 40
FOOD: The best thing I ate this year. MUSIC: Favorite albums of the year. BOOKS: The best thing I read this year. MOVIES: Gus Van Sant’s Promised Land.
SCOOP PORTLAND CULTURE IN 2012, BY THE NUMBERS. PAT R I C K W E I S H A M P E L
The most successful local theater production of the year was Sweeney
SWEENEY TODD
Todd, which sold 19,859 tickets at Portland Center Stage. Patton Oswalt was Helium Comedy Club’s biggest draw, selling out all three of his shows in June, cracking up a total of 1,400 people.
About 5 million people visited the Multnomah County Library this year. The most checked-out book was Suzanne Collins’ The Hunger Games (3,826 checkouts). The most popular DVD was The Descendants (2,182 checkouts). Safety Not Guaranteed ran at Laurelhurst Theater for 15 weeks, selling about 10,000 tickets and becoming the theater’s all-time highest-grossing film. The most rented DVD at Movie Madness was The Avengers (685 rentals). Burgerville sold 1,140,575 individual Walla Walla onion rings and used 21,138 pounds of local pumpkins in milkshakes and smoothies. Hot Cake House was open for 7,992 straight hours between the only days it closed, Christmas 2011 and Thanksgiving 2012. There are now 463 wineries in Oregon. More than half—51 percent—of all Oregon wine sales are pinot noirs and another 23 percent are pinot gris. If you’re looking for a pairing, the most expensive cheese in town right now is Neal’s Yard Old Ford, a British raw goat cheese available for $49.90 a pound at Cheese Bar. The most expensive liquor sold in Oregon this year were two bottles of Macallan in Lalique III, a 57-year-old Scotch priced at $15,268 per bottle.
AUTUMN DE WILDE
The best-selling beer at Belmont Station was the India pale ale from new local brewer Gigantic—the shop has moved 96 cases since it became available in June. The second-best seller was from Harvester, a glutenfree brewery. Cascade’s Bourbonic Plague is the strongest beer currently made in Portland, at 12.67 percent alcohol by volume.
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Willamette Week DECEMBER 26, 2012 wweek.com
Music Millennium’s top-selling album of the year is...too close to call. At press time, Alabama Shakes’ Boys & Girls has sold a total of 470 copies on both CD and vinyl since its release in April. Mumford and Sons’ Babel, which came out in September, has sold 355 copies between its standard and deluxe versions, and is continuing ALABAMA SHAKES to top the store’s weekly sales chart. Either way, both will be dwarfed by last year’s top seller, Adele’s 21, which moved 966 total units. That sounds impressive until you realize that, 15 years ago, Music Millennium sold 5,000 copies of Pink Martini’s first album—in six weeks.
HEADOUT KURT McROBERT
WILLAMETTE WEEK
WHAT TO DO THIS WEEK IN ARTS & CULTURE
WEDNESDAY DEC. 28 BACHXING DAY [CLASSICAL] Three rules: Any Bach. Any instrumentation. Any interpretation. Almost anything goes at one of the city’s most fun holiday music events, Classical Revolution PDX’s celebration of history’s greatest composer. Audience participation welcome. BYO instrument. Someday Lounge, 125 NW 5th Ave., 248-1030. 9 pm. $5-$20. 21+.
THURSDAY DEC. 27 KING HEDLEY II [THEATER] Hedley is one of August Wilson’s darkest works. Jade King Carroll directs a forceful production, grounded by a commanding performance by Oregon Shakespeare Festival veteran Peter Macon. Portland Playhouse, 602 NE Prescott St., 205-0715. 7:30 pm. $23-$32.
FRIDAY DEC. 28 HÄXAN: WITCHCRAFT THROUGH THE AGES [MOVIES] Scandinavia has a lock on sinister cinema, and nothing showcases it better than this 1922 silent horror film. Essentially a pictorial study of witchcraft, this version features deadpan narration by William S. Burroughs, but the sadistic images remain as unsettling as ever. Clinton Street Theater, 2522 SE Clinton St., 238-5588. Midnight. $5.
PICK YOUR POISON CHOOSE YOUR BEVERAGE AND AN EVENT TO MATCH.
Let’s be honest: You’re not going to remember New Year’s Eve. Any money you spend to get into a show that night will be flushed out of your consciousness and down the toilet on a wave of that last, ill-advised shot of Hornitos. But you’ve still got to go somewhere, right? So why not let the preferences of your soon-to-be-pulverized liver decide where? MATTHEW SINGER.
CHEAP BEER QUASI
Sam Coomes and Janet Weiss’ long-running guitar-keys-drum project (now with bass!) doesn’t believe in frivolous bullshit. If you feel the same way about getting blotto, you should spend the final moments of 2012 pounding swill with the kooky aunt and uncle of Portland indie rock. Bunk Bar, 1028 SE Water Ave. 9 pm. $12 advance, $14 day of show.
OVERPRICED CHAMPAGNE PINK MARTINI
Thomas Lauderdale’s ballroom swing orchestra is musical luxury porn, so after renting a limousine, dropping a paycheck on dinner at El Gaucho and another C-note to secure the best seats in the Schnitz, it’s totally natural to still feel the compulsion to pop the most expensive bottle of bubbly when the ball drops and pretend you can taste the difference between Cristal and Cook’s. Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall, 1111 SW Broadway. 7 and 10:30 pm. $45.50-$105.
CRAFT BEER WEINLAND’S NEW YEAR’S EVE SUPERGROUP
For the past four years, the indie-folk quintet has spent New Year’s Eve playing covers with its buddies. In a room full of Portland musicians, nobody worth their flannel is allowed to offer a midnight toast while holding a pale ale available in more than two counties. Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside St. 9 pm. $22 advance, $25 day of show.
A 25-YEAR-OLD BOTTLE OF COLT 45 EGYPTIAN LOVER
That 40-ouncer you threw in the mini-fridge after the Mantronix gig in 1987 and subsequently forgot about is probably still good, and so is electrofunk sex machine Egyptian Lover, another well-preserved relic of the neon Reagan years. It works every time, in any time! Yale Union, 800 SE 10th Ave. 9 pm. $15 advance, $20 day of show.
MOONSHINE TWO BEERS VEIRS NEW YEAR’S EVE CELEBRATION
Don’t let Laura Veirs fool you: She might bill herself as “Two Beers Veirs,” but the traditional American folk songs she performs under that name were written on stronger stuff than two measly beers. If’n you’re swiggin’ homemade hooch and lookin’ to party like it’s the Prohibition era, this is where you should head—provided you don’t go blind first. LaurelThirst Public House, 2958 NE Glisan St. 8:30 pm. $25.
PAINT THINNER OUT OF A HOBO’S SKULL THE MENTORS
Go extreme or go home, right? When partying with these Seattle shock-punk antiheroes, who’ve dealt exclusively in tasteless extremity since the late ’70s, no typical alcoholic beverage will do. Grab some random household chemicals, mix up a fuming cocktail, and ring in 2013 the right way: by wandering around 82nd screaming at parked cars, then losing a knife fight with a mailbox. Red Room, 2530 NE 82nd Ave. 7 pm. $10 “or female nudity.”
REVA DEVITO, NATASHA KMETO [MUSIC] The week between Christmas and New Year’s tends to be a chilly zone, but these two ladies ratchet up the heat index. The sultry, jazzy chanteuse DeVito will have a hard act to follow in the case of Kmeto, a jewel of Portland’s vivacious dance-music scene. Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside St., 2319663. 9 pm. $8. 21+. FUNNY OVER EVERYTHING [COMEDY] The popular monthly standup series welcomes home Portland-raised Matt Braunger, exMADtv cast member and star of the Web series IKEA Heights, among a zillion other things. Hollywood Theatre, 4122 NE Sandy Blvd., 2814215. 8 pm. $10. 21+.
SATURDAY DEC. 29 SUPERSUCKERS [MUSIC] After an extended hiatus, the self-proclaimed “greatest rock’n’-roll band in the world” is back to touring its live cavalcade of twang, grit and rather fewer laughs than you’d expect. Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside St., 231-9663. 9 pm. $12 advance, $14 day of show. 21+. REWILD SKILLSHARE [SURVIVE] Many things have changed since the Mayan calender flipped. Sneak and fight your way the Rewild Skillshare to learn the ancient storytelling techniques we shall use post-television. The Waypost, 3120 N Williams Ave., 3-5 pm. Bring stories to read. $5-$10 donation suggested. rewildportland.com. Willamette Week DECEMBER 26, 2012 wweek.com
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TOGA PARTY
new year’s eve
It’s the party-call of the ages for New Year’s Eve 2012 at Chinook Winds Casino Resort! Convention Center Public Party - $20 Entertainment by Shama Lama • Doors open at 9pm
Aces Bar & Grill - Free Entertainment by Flexor T • Doors Open at 9pm
Rogue River Lounge - $20 Entertainment by DJ Metal • Doors open at 10pm
Chinook’s Seafood Grill - Free Entertainment by 24-7 • Doors Open at 10pm
Tickets are on sale now at the Chinook Winds Box Office, by phone at 1-888-MAIN-ACT or online at chinookwindscasino.com
chinookwindscasino.com • Lincoln City • 1-888-CHINOOK 22
Willamette Week DECEMBER 26, 2012 wweek.com
CWCR_WW_9.639x12.25_FC_FP_12-19-2012_NYE.indd 1
12/20/12 10:09 AM
JEFFDREWPICTURES.COM
HOLIDAY
DRUNKEN GUMBO
22nd Annual Champagne Ball
Acadia Bistro
Longtime New Orleans spot Acadia will host a New Orleans-style three-course dinner with lobster, crawfish, pumpkin hush puppies, Louisiana speckled trout with squash and, yes, gumbo. Champagne at midnight. Acadia Bistro, 1303 NE Fremont St., 249-5001, creolapdx.com. 5 pm-close. $65.
Crescent City Crepes
New Iberians
Large is Portland’s own version of Vegas, a lady Elvis who need never leave the stage. Aladdin Theater, 3017 SE Milwaukie Ave., 234-9694, aladdintheater.com. 7 pm. $50.
Melao de Cuba
Salsa dancing with live music from Melao de Cuba. Dance lessons available at 9 pm. Mississippi Pizza Pub, 3553 N Mississippi Ave., 288-3231, mississippipizza.com. Doors 8 pm. $12.
Three-course Peruvian prix fixe paired with a half-bottle of champagne, plus live Latin-jazzy music. Andina, 1314 NW Glisan St., 228-9535, andinarestaurant. com. Seating 5:30-9:30 pm. $85-$165.
PUT A COVER VERSION ON IT Pigs on the Wing
Pink Floyd tribute band Pigs on the Wing will play Pink Floyd covers. No word on the laser light show or mental breakdowns. Mt. Tabor Theater, 4811 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 360-1450, thetabor. com. 9 pm. $12 advance, $15 door.
Headbanger’s New Year’s Eve Ball
BY M AT T H E W KO R F H AGE mkorfhage@wweek.com
New Year’s Eve events are always a little bit falsely inflated; they’re the party equivalent of a real-estate bubble that bursts at about the same time as your liver. The bar parties usually cost at least $10 more than they should, and this places
We’re pretty sure Deep Purple got nowhere near MTV, but still, an unholy trio of tribute bands: Hellion (Judas Priest), Holy Diver (Dio) and Highway Star (Deep Purple). Hawthorne Theatre, 1507 SE Cesar E. Chavez Blvd., 233-1700, hawthornetheatre.com. 8:30 pm. $8 advance, $10 door.
Wheels in the Sky
Portland’s longtime ultra-lounge act. (See Headout, page 21.) Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall, 1037 SW Broadway, 248-4335. 9:30 pm. $45$105. All ages.
Storm Large
INDIE-DANCE PANTS Holocene NYE
Honey Owens and Rafael Fauria’s hipster-house Miracles Club, DJ Beyonda’s soul stew, plus a “mega-jam” featuring Jeffrey Jerusalem, Brainstorm and members of Sex Life, among other entertainments. Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison St., 239-7639, holocene.org. 9 pm. $18-$25.
GET IN!
Andina
THIS YEAR IN GRATUITOUS PARTY THEMES.
PORTLAND VEGAS: THE REVUES Pink Martini
¡FELIZ ANO NUEVO!
a strange pressure on your evening: You. Must. Have. Fun. Or you have wasted your year and your life. And so, the endless theming and partitioning of parties—as if we are all rejoining the highschool prom—so that we can enjoy the buoyant weightlessness of feeling foreign to ourselves. It is, in its own way, bliss. We’ve gathered together this year’s most favored party themes, that we may endure ennui in impolite abandon. And we will not remember when!
For a minimum of $89, you get: pizza, hors d’oeuvres, and a glass of champagne, plus an ’80s tribute band. Ask yourself: Dear God…why? If you have an answer, you’ve hit rock bottom. Hilton Portland and Executive Tower, 921 SW 6th Ave., 226-1611. 8 pm. $89-$119.
When the going gets drunk, the French go Cajun. Prix fixe featuring cornmeal crepes with shrimp étouffée or collards maque choux, plus oysters and black peas. Live “jazz à l’américaine” from Crash Parlor. Suzette Creperie, 3342 SE Belmont St., 546-0892, suzettepdx.com. 6:30 pm-close. $32.
Cajun food buffet, champagne toast, and live music from Portland Cajun outfit the New Iberians. “American Quirk” music to start. Fraternal Order of Eagles Lodge, 4904 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 232-7505, foe.com. $10 advance at Avalon Antiques, 410 SW Oak St., 224-7156. $15 door.
NO MORE YEAR 2012
CULTURE
The Facebook invite to this Journey tribute band’s event specifically asks for the attention of “middle-aged sex addicts.” Jimmy Mak’s, 221 NW 10th Ave., 295-6542, jimmymaks.com. 8 pm. $20-$25.
Ah, a two-venue dance party (Dig a Pony, Union/Pine) connected by a beer bus that goes a mere five or six blocks. DJs and bands include Cooky Parker, Shy Girls, Nathan Detroit and Freaky Outy. Union/Pine, 525 SE Pine St., unionpine.com. 8 pm. $15 (call 201-3354 for tickets).
THE BURLESQUE THAT IS LIFE Sideshow Circus
As if the night weren’t circus enough, Portland Playhouse promises “games and oddities” amid a cocktail-costume dance party. Portland Playhouse, 602 NE Prescott St., 488-5822, portlandplayhouse.org. 8 pm. $45-$55.
Curious Comedy NYE Extravaganza
The troupe promises sketch comedy, improv, standup and acrobatics of some sort, plus mini-vittles and some champagne. Curious Comedy Theater, 5225 NE Martin Luther King Blvd., 477-9477, curiouscomedy.org. 8 pm. $50-$60.
Jimmy Pardo
The Never Not Funny host and former Conan O’Brien warm-up comic does a double set. Helium Comedy Club, 1510 SE 9th Ave., 643-8669. 7:30 and 10 pm. $25-$52.
NE 22nd & Alberta Now Open at Noon Monday-Saturday and 10am Sunday Willamette Week DECEMBER 26, 2012 wweek.com
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FEATURE LEAHNASH.COM
FOOD & DRINK
THE BEST THING I ATE WW WRITERS REMEMBER THEIR FAVORITE DISHES FROM 2012. The Woodsman Tavern’s roasted trout in crazy water is crazy—like a fox. Chef Jason Barwikowski has created a trifecta of salty, savory and acidic that makes me want each bite more than the one I’ve had before. I’ve been there twice in 2012, paycheck and pants size be damned, and both times it’s been a revelation. The trout, though bone in, is easy to consume—right down to the tiny cheeks and other odd spots pried out when I still wanted more. The sun-dried tomatoes cut the sweetness of the trout, and the crazy water broth is best soaked up with bread or, if you’re as crazy for this dish as I am, tilted directly from bowl into mouth. No shame. ANDREA DAMEWOOD. XO sauce—aka “caviar of the east”—is a selfconsciously decadent Hong Kong sauce featuring scallop, shrimp and sometimes ham: It’s a smoky smack to the umami centers. I discovered it via Tanuki’s Kani XO dish, which combines the scallopy sauce with sesame oil, ginger, scallions, shoyu and lime to create the most addictive substance known to man—somewhat ahead of heroin and nicotine—which chef Janis Martin then uses to dose a pair of tender crab claws. I never had a chance. MATTHEW KORFHAGE Portland may be a paradise for vegetarians compared to most of the country, but you still often feel like you’re being served the same meals over and over again. This was apparently the year of the farro rissotto, and I’ll be very happy if another spoonful never passes my lips again. So my 2012 picks go to two dishes I expected to bore the tits off me, but ended up being the highlights of the meals. First was a beet salad at the ever-reliable wine and small plates joint Navarre. The simple plate of beet, peach and mint I was served on a balmy summer evening was a welcome reprieve, the juicy chunks of fruit and flecks of fresh herb highlighting the beetroot at its sweet
Time-Tested Family Recipes Live! ’s mre a M rk Ha Guitar c ti n Roma enings Wed. Ev
Nothing quite matches the neo-rustic, wood-oven-cooked dishes at Ned Ludd for that ultimate Portlandish dine-out encounter. And the best dish I’ve had at Ned Ludd this year is its pork “noodles” combined with bits of smoky pork hock. Those noodles aren’t pasta, though. They’re thin strips of pork skin. Slightly gelatinous, but if you didn’t know better, you might not even notice. It’s a splendid exhibition of nose-to-tail cooking. And eating it gives you that Portlandish post cibum glow. MICHAEL C. ZUSMAN. I’ll admit it: At first, I wasn’t very excited about Smallwares, the newish “inauthentic Asian” joint on Northwest Fremont Street. That simple menu—more or less an ingredient list—didn’t tip me off about how crazy fun the food would be. But when the fried kale landed on my table, it was clear something exciting was going on. Deeply green leaves are coated in rice batter and lightly fried then covered with smoky candied bacon and a light dressing of bright mint and fish sauce. As I said at the time, it’s culinary wizardry. I couldn’t figure how one tiny plate could smoothly juggle five huge flavors then, and I can’t now. MARTIN CIZMAR. The cat has long been out of the bag on Laurelhurst Market. Those perfectly prepared steaks, the roasted marrowbone that launched a Gangnam Style-style drinking craze called bone luging, and that Smoke Signals cocktail, which I request a doggie bag for, taking home the unmelted portion of the smoked ice cube. But one late October night, accompanying my steak were a pair of “marrow coins”—gluttony-laced
KEEP YOUR NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTION
Fresh, Authentic Flavors of our Jalisco Heritage
4160 NE Sandy Blvd. 503-284-6327 parking in rear 24
and savory best. Second was tempura green beans at WW’s 2012 Restaurant of the Year, Aviary. The beans themselves come fried with just enough tempura batter to keep them crispy but not so much as to disguise the identity of the vegetable inside—but it’s the accompanying spicy green curry sauce that has you scraping the plate clean. RUTH BROWN.
WW Recommended • 515 SW 4th Ave. 11-3 Monday-Friday • jacksonslitentasty.com
Willamette Week DECEMBER 26, 2012 wweek.com
KALE ’EM ALL: Smallwares’ amazing appetizer.
hedonism wherein a dollop of majestic marrow was deep-fried resembling a latke, hold the tuber. BRIAN YAEGER. Much on the menu of Aviary could be listed here (crispy pig ear, anyone?), but it was the charred octopus that most delighted my taste buds in 2012. Served on fat scallion pancakes with slightly sweet green papaya, delicate long beans and crunchy cashews, the dish is a wonder of both texture and taste. I shared it with my parents, and they, ever generous, allowed me to
devour the last, tender coil. REBECCA JACOBSON. It’s big. It’s greasy. It falls apart with one bite, splattering globs of meat, onions, beans, cheese and ranchero sauce on the tray below. In other words, La Sirenita’s Special Burrito is everything a burrito should be. And it costs less than $6. Best thing I ate this year? I live down the street from the restaurant and make a journalist’s wage. It’s the only thing I ate this year. MATTHEW SINGER.
Portland’s Original Wing Joint Heated patio with fireplace open year-round at Fremont Make sure to try our delicious pizza and house-brewed beers. (pizza at Fremont only)
Get your Superbowl orders in early! 1708 E. Burnside 503.230.WING (9464)
New Year’s Eve Dinner please call 503-460-3333 for reservations
Restaurant & Brewery NE 57th at Fremont 503-894-8973
4225 N. Interstate Ave. 503.280.WING (9464)
Brilliant for the Season:
2-for-1 lunch at Kells! At Either Location
830 N Shaver | 503-460-3333 equinoxrestaurantpdx.com Dinner Mon.-Sun. 5pm Weekday Happy Hour 4pm-6pm Breakfast & Lunch Sat.-Sun. 9am-2pm
210 NW 21st Ave. 503.719.7175 kellsbrewpub.com
112 SW 2nd Ave. 503.227.4057 kellsirish.com
*Dine in only. Coupon must be presented when ordering to receive a discount on the lower-priced of two items. Not valid with other coupons or promotions. 2 or more customers only, 3 coupons max. per table. Valid M - F 11:30 am to 2 pm thru Jan. 11, 2013.
Willamette Week DECEMBER 26, 2012 wweek.com
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Willamette Week DECEMBER 26, 2012 wweek.com
MUSIC
DEC. 26 – JAN. 1 YEAR-END
= WW Pick. Highly recommended. Prices listed are sometimes for advance ticket sales. At-the-door increases and socalled convenience charges may apply. Event lineups are subject to change after WW’s press deadlines. Editor: MATTHEW SINGER. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, go to wweek.com/ submitevents and follow submission directions. All shows should be submitted two weeks or more in advance of event. Press kits, CDs and especially vinyl can be sent to Music Desk, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Please include show or release date information with all physical mailings. Email: msinger@wweek.com. Fax: 243-1115.
WEDNESDAY, DEC. 26 Pussy Control: Nathan Detroit, Black Dog
[SCHOOL OF FUNK] It’s the Nathan Detroit Inner Southeast School of DJing, so listen up kids. First period: Detroit appears monthly at Holocene’s raucous Booty Bassment party, spinning butt-shakers from the ‘90s and early ’00s. Second period: He DJs solo at venues like Branx, choosing to play deep and “feel good” house music that seems straight out of a secret tropical-beach party. Third period: Pussy Control, where everyone grinds and everyone but the purplest Prince fan will hear a new deep cut, is the monthly sweat-fest currently held at Dig a Pony. Fourth period: Seattle, the west side and beyond. The class of Trashy Trash—the name of Nathan Detroit’s collective, which includes acts like Portland’s Freaky Outty and Seattle’s Claude Balzac—have long ago graduated, so you should let them take you to school. MITCH LILLIE. Dig a Pony, 736 SE Grand Ave. 10 pm. Call venue for ticket information. 21+.
THURSDAY, DEC. 27 Kokichi Tagawa
COURTESY OF BIM DITSON
[INTERNATIONAL JAZZ] Working as a computer scientist by day, Kokichi Tagawa began his musical career playing Japanese jazz clubs by night. After graduating from the prestigious Berklee College of Music in 1995, he’s been serenading jazz clubs on the East Coast and around the country, having moved to Portland just a few months ago. While not in the league of Brubeck and Monk, Tagawa does have talent and an interesting style he’s adapted to Broadway tunes and Latin jams. His cover of Gershwin’s
“Summertime” certainly has the disorienting, peppy technicality some jazzers love. For families in town, Tagawa’s show would be great for a young musician or musically curious parent, but the esoteric bebop-loving cousin might be left counting the measures. MITCH LILLIE. Corkscrew Wine Bar, 1669 SE Bybee Blvd., 239-9463. 8 pm. Call venue for ticket information. 21+.
Beats Antique
[ELECTRONIC BELLY-DANCE MUSIC] Marrying digital rhythms to global idioms isn’t an especially novel idea, though Beats Antique travels rather far afield, collecting its Afro-jazz and raga (and binds the world-music flourishes to a shamelessly au courant sampling of club styles). But the Bay Area act outstrips the dilettante anomie of their peers through a tireless devotion to dance. Specifically, producers David Satori and Tommy Cappel devise their sonic fusions around the captivating performances of belly-dancer extraordinaire Zoe Jakes—rendering albums, including its latest, Contraption Vol. II, somewhat beside the point—as she shimmies the timeless craft through glitch and dubstep. JAY HORTON. Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside St., 225-0047. 9 pm. $25 advance, $30 day of show. All ages.
Emily Wells, Timmy Straw
[FOLKTRONICA] With so many instruments and production bells and whistles available these days, musicians have a hell of a lot at their disposal. Although sometimes yielding overzealous and indecisive results, a diverse sonic palette also brings forth multifaceted artists like Emily Wells. Equipped with a sprawling voice of ghostly trills and girlish charm, the
TOP FIVE
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BY BIM DITSON (AND AND AND)
TOP FIVE SHOWS OF 2012 King Khan and the Shrines @ Dante’s (MusicfestNW, 9/6) This was the only time I’ve ever felt like hurrying toward Dante’s. What made this show killer was the pure inhibition that the Shrines forced out of their diverse crowd: An older man high-fives a skater tot and nearly drops his wife dangling from his arm. Grandparents, Support Force, Pigeons @ Rontoms (3/01) Support Force’s sharp maturity followed by Grandparents’ hazy don’t-give-a-hootery—that’s a good-ass ear meal. Jason Lytle @ Al’s Den (4/29) I was raised on skateboards and Grandaddy. Naturally, I wish Jason Lytle was my dad. This show was intimate, gentle and heart-groping. Death Songs, Sun Angle @ PALS Clubhouse (Word of Mouth House Show Festival, 7/05) Papi Fimbres from Sun Angle got me really stoned before the show. Every WOM Fest show was magical. Sun Angle out-trips the lifers and Death Songs digs everything deeper than the longest fire-pit talks PALS might regularly host. Illmaculate @ Refuge (PDX Pop Now!, 7/21) It’s true that hip-hop can suck live, but Illmac hammered out one of the best Portland hip-hop shows I’ve ever seen. Pure energy and community. It also didn’t hurt to see Tope casually, and sort of hilariously, snacking on some cereal in the back corner of the stage as this show popped off massive. SEE IT: And And And plays Tonic Lounge, 3100 NE Sandy Blvd., with the We Shared Milk and Pictorials, on Thursday, Dec. 27. 9:30 pm. Free. 21+.
PORTLAND EXCEPTIONALISM THE BEST LOCAL ALBUMS OF 2012. BY WW ’ S MU SIC WR ITE R S
243-2122
Admit it: You love lists. C’mon, you know you’re reading every single “Best of 2012” piece, either nodding with the satisfaction of having your own opinions validated or boiling with anger at egregious snubs. Without debates, pop culture is boring, and nothing sparks a good debate like a list. Let the arguing begin! Brainstorm, Heat Waves An all-white trio playing African- and Middle Eastern-style pop could’ve been a disaster. Brainstorm embraced the challenge, creating something beautiful as a result. ROBERT HAM. Chromatics, Kill for Love A chilly soundtrack for brittle desire, Kill for Love is a perfectly sequenced synth-pop collection that proves things are most beautiful when held at arm’s length. CHRIS STAMM. Dana Buoy, Summer Bodies A warm and vibrant debut from Akron/Family percussionist Dana Janssen that’s as much an equatorial surf ride as carefully stacked digital pop album. MARK A. STOCK. Gaytheist, Stealth Beats Hyperdrive post-hardcore noise rock from guys old enough to do it as well as their heroes. NATHAN CARSON. Laura Gibson, La Grande La Grande finds one of Portland’s quietest singersongwriters getting loud, weird and personal—and proving again why Laura Gibson is among the smartest and most engaging voices in Portland music. CASEY JARMAN. Lost Lander, DRRT Lost Lander’s inventive debut mixes varying organic and electronic ideas, finding an enticing balance of textural tranquility and vigor to back frontman Matt Sheehy’s fluctuating vocals. EMILEE BOOHER.
Lost Lockets, Love Not Fear Witchy, waltzy organ-viola-banjo gospel rock that channels David Lynch’s nightmares into sexy siren songs. (NC) Mean Jeans, On Mars Mean Jeans’ zitty ode to shitty feelings is a masterpiece of pop-punk idiocy, a lunatic spree of heartbroken moping and heartbreaking fun. (CS) Monarques, Let’s Make Love Come True The long-gestating debut of Josh Spacek and friends distilled an effervescent aesthetic borne upon the sounds of pop past but made thrillingly new. JAY HORTON. Myke Bogan, So Long, South Dakota Bogan has a gift for capturing the concept of fleeting youth through his songs, which are built on heavyhearted nostalgia and the intoxicated ramblings of a 20-something rapper looking for life’s bigger picture. REED JACKSON. Onuinu, Mirror Gazer Dorian Duvall’s moody, celestial, hyper-velvety take on dance music features pulsating homages to disco, chillwave and, nowadays, R&B. (MAS) Radiation City, Cool Nightmare A gorgeous masterstroke—imagine Bebel Gilberto soundtracking Logan’s Run. (JH) Ramona Falls, Prophet Brent Knopf builds on an explorative vision with this year’s sonically vast and meticulously produced follow-up to his 2009 debut. (EB) Vinnie Dewayne, Castaway In the age of swag and shock, the St. Johns MC’s flooring sophomore mixtape stands out for nextlevel storytelling that rejects embellishment. (CJ) The We Shared Milk, History of Voyager and Legend Tripping Calling on 10 musician friends for production help, the trio made not just a great, lightheaded psychpop album but a de facto survey of the Portland underground circa 2012. MATTHEW SINGER. MORE: Hear songs from each of these albums at wweek.com. Willamette Week DECEMBER 26, 2012 wweek.com
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classically trained violinist is most known for creatively looping instruments such as melodica, glockenspiel, guitar, keys and beat machines during live performances. Playing on similar ideas, her 2012 full-length album, Mama, combines subtle hip-hop beats, folk-inflected vocals, ambient textures and lush string layers for a beautifully unfolding collision of styles. EMILEE BOOHER. Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside St., 231-9663. 9 pm. $12 advance, $14 day of show. 21+.
FRIDAY, DEC. 28 Jerry Joseph and the Jackmormons, Portland Country Underground, Bret Mosley
[VOODOO AMERICANA] Experience and Jerry Joseph go together like hangovers and the holidays. The Jackmormons trusty frontman (and former Widespread Panic songwriter) is the tavernized version of Afghan Whigs’ Greg Dulli. Endearing, commanding and invested to the point of sounding hoarse, Joseph leans toward the country side of the alt-rock coin. The trio turned out Happy Book this spring, a double-album featuring the likes of PDX musicians Eric Earley (Blitzen Trapper) and Chris Funk (the Decemberists). Wearing a guitar for 30 years affords Joseph a certain swagger, but it’s with his beloved three-piece that his professional chops really show. The show kicks off the band’s four-night, three-venue Portland swing. MARK STOCK. Alberta Rose Theatre, 3000 NE Alberta St., 719-6055. 9 pm. $15. 21+.
Larry and His Flask, Dirty Kid Discount, Hopeless Jack and the Handsome Devil, Ether Circus
[PUNKGRASS] Punk and bluegrass are natural bedfellows. A circle pit and a square dance are basically the same thing—only, with one you get your aggression out on the dance floor, and with the other, all the pushing and elbowing happens at the bar afterward. Larry and His Flask recognize this. Initially a going-nowhere Central Oregon punk band, the group began throwing banjo and mandolin into its Sturm und Drang on 2011’s All That We Know, drawing in both folks who like a little melody with their hardcore and those who want their string music with a grittier edge and successfully blurring the line between hoedown and bro-down. MATTHEW SINGER. Branx, 320 SE 2nd Ave., 234-5683. 8 pm. $10 advance, $12 day of show. All Ages.
Reva DeVito, Natasha Kmeto, DJ K. Marie
[SOUL SISTERS] The period between Christmas and New Year’s tends to be a chilly dead zone musically, with most of the city’s artists and bands away visiting family. But two young ladies—Reva DeVito and Natasha Kmeto—will be staying in town to ratchet up the heat index within the Doug Fir Lounge. DeVito will hopefully be leaning on the tracks she recorded with Roane Namuh for the pair’s sultry and jazzy collaborative EP, Cloudshine. She’ll have a hard act to follow in the case of Kmeto, a jewel of Portland’s vivacious dance-music scene who delights in bass-heavy jams. ROBERT HAM. Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside St., 231-9663. 9 pm. $8. 21+.
Ital, Acid Farm, Dasani Reboot
[TECHNO] Ital’s Daniel MartinMcCormick has enjoyed praise for his disco-punk project, Mi Ami, and rightfully so. Mi Ami has wonderful, echoing claps and drippy, oozing synths behind vocals alternatively soaring and crashing. MartinMcCormick’s first solo project, Sex Worker, is not L.A. label Not Not Fun’s finest, the vocals sounding as if Ariel Pink were getting higher and
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YEAR-END
THE BEST FROM EVERYWHERE ELSE Our music writers’ favorite albums of 2012 not made by their neighbors. Aesop Rock, Skelethon The old-school indie MC breaks a five-year silence with a characteristic torrent of impassioned poetry over rock-influenced beats. JONATHAN FROCHTZWAJG. Ava Luna, Ice Level The son of a soul DJ finds his voice in the Brooklyn avant-garde, then makes what sounds like a ’90s R&B record being drowned out by the anxious clatter of big-city life. MATTHEW P. SINGER. Cat Power, Sun The famously troubled songstress’s first non-covers release in six years is a wonderful surprise of a record, pop-influenced and life-affirming. (JF) Delicate Steve, Positive Force A purist’s Ratatat, strengthened by fierce, unflinching guitar wizardry and a sonic sophistication normally reserved for classical composers. MARK A. STOCK. El-P, Cancer4Cure The latest dispatch from the veteran underground rapper comes from a visionary, chillingly affecting apocalyptic soundscape. (JF) Fiona Apple, The Idler Wheel... Sometimes it sounds like a circus, other times a busy kitchen. I don’t know if Apple is a genius or a maniac, and that’s what keeps me coming back. CASEY JARMAN. Frank Ocean, Channel Orange Frank Ocean uses his brilliant songwriting to present his idea of love: a boundless, static-filled journey full of both surreal beauty and eternal heartache. REED JACKSON. Fun., Some Nights Bending melodic ’70s avant-pop bombast to the digitized dictates of Kanye-styled production, New York trio Fun. struck gold. JAY HORTON. Gentleman Jesse and His Men, Leaving Atlanta Every song on Gentleman Jesse Smith’s second full-length is a power-pop hit issuing from a better universe, a realm where peerless craft is god and goose bumps are all that matter. CHRIS STAMM. Grizzly Bear, Shields Devising ambitious guitar-driven conversations between musical styles and implementing masterful push-pull dynamics, Shields is among the most stimulating listens of the year. EMILEE BOOHER. Here We Go Magic, A Different Ship The gorgeous, trippy, Nigel Godrich-produced A Different Ship proves Luke Temple has a legitimate shot at becoming not just a leading voice of his generation, but a leading sound of it, too. (CJ) Ides of Gemini, Constantinople Gorgeous female-fronted hypnotic goth metal from Los Angeles, providing laid-back blackened spirituals for those opium-pipe nights by the fire. NATHAN CARSON. CONT. on page 30
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Willamette Week DECEMBER 26, 2012 wweek.com
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FRIDAY– SATURDAY
higher on something veterinary. But Ital, out on Not Not Fun’s dance imprint 100% Silk, defies both previous projects. It’s fun, slamming, classic techno, and the sound’s just dirty enough. Ital’s no joke: Martin-McCormick can bring some serious heat to the floor. MITCH LILLIE. Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., 288-3895. 9 pm. $10-$12. 21+.
Toys That Kill, Divers, Faster Housecat
[POP PUNK] If it wasn’t for Todd Congelliere’s unmistakable voice, forever pitched between bratty plaint and hysterical crying jag, San Pedro’s Toys That Kill would have long ago outrun comparisons to F.Y.P, the snotty pop-punk band Congelliere fronted through the ’90s. Because where F.Y.P got by on frenetic blasts of adolescent angst, Toys That Kill sorted through the messy aftermath of teen trouble and found melancholic melodies there, and the resulting albums have been strangely moving affairs. But that voice can’t be ignored, and while it tethers Toys That Kill to an earlier and more infantile iteration of pop punk, well, that’s what makes the whole thing so damn beautiful. CHRIS STAMM. The Know, 2026 NE Alberta St., 473-8729. 8:30 pm. Call venue for ticket information. 21+.
SATURDAY, DEC. 29 Supersuckers, Burn the Stage
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The Bobs (prat)fall outside a cappella traditions, landing in a hot tub of humor and vocal prowess. What other band can headline The American Songbook series, open for Frank Zappa and The Dead, and perform for 700 million people on the Emmy Awards? The Bobs have left an indelible mark on modern vocal music, but as the prevailing trailblazers of contemporary a cappella music, The Bobs continue to add to their musical palette. With “Too Many Santas,” let The Bobs carol you through yet another Yuletide season with the silvery peal of their scintillating voices.
ANDREW GRADE THURSDAY 1/3 @ 6 PM
Andrew Grade is a one-man guitar slapping, strumming and drumming groove machine. His songs weave layers of melody, guitar-based percussion and harmonics into a performance that is as fun to watch as it is to listen to. “Focus,” his second release, combines elements of pop, blues, funk, and jazz, without falling squarely into any particular genre.
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Willamette Week DECEMBER 26, 2012 wweek.com
[MANQUÉ-TONK] As an act with punk sensibilities and metal chops who moved to Seattle and signed to Sub Pop during the heyday of grunge (and subsequently deemed themselves “the greatest rock’n’-roll band in the world”), the Supersuckers were always a bit tricky to classify even before they enlisted Willie Nelson’s help on latelife y’all-ternative forays. After surviving an extended hiatus during frontman Eddie Spaghetti’s solo projects, the Tucson troupe’s back to touring its justly lauded live cavalcade of twang, grit and rather less laughs than you’d expect. JAY HORTON. Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside St., 231-9663. 9 pm. $12 advance, $14 day of show. 21+.
Pierced Arrows, the Suicide Notes
[COLE YULE] Another turn of the calendar and another chapter written to the legend of Fred and Toody Cole. The sexagenerian and former Dead Mooners’ latest act, Pierced Arrows, spent late spring logging 13,000 miles on a cross-country tour (and the trio’s drummer, Kelly Halliburton, just returned from a Euro jaunt with his own band, P.R.O.B.L.E.M.S.), and a new album of its inimitable garage stomp has been announced for the coming year. Also, 2012 saw the birth of openers Suicide Notes, and though the vets of countless local groups have only released a pair of 7-inches thus far, they have similar plans to record a full-length offering of their distinct girl-group-meetsgrizzled-punk, methed-crystals sound. JAY HORTON. Hawthorne Theatre, 3862 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 233-7100. 8 pm. $8. 21+.
Abusive Consumer, Jatun, Sun Hammer
[SPACE RITUAL] In addition to throwing his weight behind all manner of sonic weirdness on his Experimental Portland blog, local journalist (and frequent WW contributor) Robert Ham occasionally curates an evening of live, mindbending noise. Tonight’s crop of Ham-picked space invaders tend toward the unnerving end of the ambient spectrum, where alien bleats ache for language and subterranean drones search for light. It’s exceedingly difficult to write about sounds such as these, which is precisely why there are sounds such as these—there’s a place beyond the reach of words that is
CONT. on page 32
YEAR-END CONT.
Japandroids, Celebration Rock Beginning and ending with fireworks, the Vancouver, B.C., pop-punk two-piece’s sophomore LP is what jubilation sounds like. (JF) Kendrick Lamar, Good Kid, M.A.A.D. City The rapper’s second album is one of the more personal hip-hop albums in recent memory, essentially acting as a memoir to his chaotic but loved-filled childhood in Compton, Calif. (RJ) Ke$ha, Warrior Beneath her swag-steeped persona, Ke$ha avoids Britney club-girl trappings to carefully assemble a sui generis sugar-wall of sound cut and pasted together from the past half-century’s hits. (JH) The Men, Open Your Heart In which these NYC body snatchers climb into the skin of basically every vital group of the ’80s indie underground and rip open not just their hearts but their throats and fretting hands as well. (MPS) Miguel, Kaleidoscope Dream Maybe Channel Orange is more idiosyncratic, but this glowing moon rock of an R&B record has cosmic grooves, lunar textures and weightless vocals that stay just inside the radio-pop orbit. (MPS) Perfume Genius, Put Your Back N 2 It Evoking emotionally raw imagery through simple piano-based compositions and intimate lyrics, Seattle’s Mike Hadreas tops off his music with an arrestingly soulful and tear-inducing voice. (EB) Rush, Clockwork Angels Not only the best 66-minute steampunk concept album of 2012, but also a vital, fresh and heavy release from the only old-timers who still got it. (NC) Thee Satisfaction, Awe Naturale A pair of young black women from Seattle brings together a devilishly sexy bravado and strong feminist agenda into one soulful R&B/hip-hop whole. ROBERT HAM. Swans, The Seer No record provoked a more physical response from listeners than this exhausting, brutal classic. Two discs of muscular epics and shuddering moments of quiet. (RH) White Lung, Sorry Sorry marshals a force of punk’s misshapen offspring to demolish the scene in 20 riveting minutes of raw power. (CS) Wild Nothing, Nocturne Jack Tatum’s debut was a soundtrack to summer flings and hazy afternoons. Nocturne is built for a cold winter night, with airy tunes that reflect on forgotten love and missed opportunities. (JF) Woods, Bend Beyond The Brooklyn band’s seventh record epitomizes 21st-century Americana, with a fullness and lingering melancholy reminiscent of Yankee Hotel Foxtrot. (MAS) MORE: Think we’re a bunch of snobby hipsters with terrible taste? Tell us what we should’ve been listening to this year at wweek.com.
Willamette Week DECEMBER 26, 2012 wweek.com
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SATURDAY– MONDAY D AV I D K E L L E R
MUSIC
FISTICUFFS: Reva DeVito plays Doug Fir Lounge on Friday, Dec. 28. very much worth experiencing. So listen. CHRIS STAMM. Record Room, 8 NE Killingsworth St. 8 pm. Free. 21+.
SUNDAY, DEC. 30 Radiation City, Ancient Heat
[PDX PRIDE AND JOY] Portland has fallen in love with Radiation City. Aside from the high praise the band received for both 2011’s The Hands That Take You LP and 2012’s Cool Nightmare EP, the five-piece swept WW’s Best New Band poll this year. While this is all old news, there’s something to be said about a self-recording group that takes a city and its music critics by storm. Playing a fusion of infectious retro pop with electronic elements and quirky production idiosyncrasies (such as clanging and clacking on all parts of an old piano), Radiation City not only melds a wonderful blend of influences, it does so with straight-up soul. EMILEE BOOHER. Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside St., 231-9663. 9 pm. $10 advance, $12 day of show. 21+.
MONDAY, DEC. 31 Lost Lander, Aan, Dana Buoy
[LOCAL SHOWCASE] Matt Sheehy and company have engineered one of the best Northwest records of the year in DRRT. The Brent Knopf produced project is free-range rock at its finest, ebbing with choirlike simplicity and flowing expectedly, with the highly percussive and piano-driven explosiveness of Menomena. Sheehy used to play guitar with Knopf in Ramona Falls, but has shifted the brunt of his focus to Lost Lander. It’s going to be tough to outdo a record that includes a build-your-own planetarium, but I like their chances. Aan and feel-good sample maestro Dana Buoy share the all-Portland band NYE affair—which, depending on how Backspace’s fundraising efforts play out, could be the allages institution’s final show. MARK STOCK. Backspace, 115 NW 5th Ave., 248-2900. 8 pm. $12. All ages.
Railroad Earth
[JAMGRASS] Look, I’m normally not one to advocate for jam bands. But New Years Eve isn’t a normal evening, and I can totally see the appeal of attending a Railroad Earth gig to celebrate the end of 2012. Playing a panoply of stringbased music styles—bluegrass, Celtic music, traditional American folk—the New Jersey band makes the perfect soundtrack for a night of warm feelings produced by excessive whiskey drinking. These boys will likely keep playing well into the first hours of 2013, and their banjo-and-fiddle rendition of “Auld Lang Syne” should be bitching. Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t where I’m spending my evening. But I won’t judge if that’s your plan. MATTHEW SINGER. Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside St., 2250047. 8 pm. $55. Railroad Earth also plays the Crystal Ballroom on
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Saturday-Sunday, Dec. 29-30. $25 advance, $30 day of show, $100 three-night ticket. 21+.
Melao de Cuba (9 pm); Mr. Ben (5 pm)
[NEW YEAR’S SALSA] Salsa music is exemplary of all things Cuban, in the sense it is warm, sensual and easygoing. Use the conga and cowbell rhythms to take your hips for a journey this New Year’s Eve with Melao de Cuba, a group that has been faithfully frequenting Mississippi Pizza for a number of years now. Between the mojitos, pizza and overall change in feeling from the dreary Northwest, your prospects of a feliz año nuevo are looking good. DREW LENIHAN. Mississippi Pizza, 3552 N Mississippi Ave., 288-3231. 9 pm. $9. 21+.
Typhoon, Wild Ones, the Morals
[INDIE ORCHESTRA] With champagne glasses and lighters in the air, there is no better way to spend this NYE than with Typhoon, the lovely panoramic rock symphony and one of WW’s top new bands in 2010. With much more new material for their sing-alongfriendly vibe, the soundtrack to your New Year’s kiss will be epic, with more than 12 instruments on stage generating a sound reminiscent of Arcade Fire or a more refined Edward Sharpe. Joining in is another cute group, Wild Ones, with a keyboard- and vocalheavy style akin to that of the Blow. Cheers! DREW LENIHAN. Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., 288-3895. 9 pm. $18 advance, $20 day of show. 21+.
Caleb Klauder Country Band, the Barn Door Slammers
[HONKY-TONK] This is not the drown-your-sorrows country music your great-grandfather listened to while getting drunk alone in bars. Caleb Klauder’s sound is celebratory and nostalgic, the five-o’clock, guitar-and-fiddle jams of some hardworking Western town. Tonight, amid a prime-rib dinner special and “Rhinestone Cowboy” contest, Klauder and his band will lure folks onto the dance floor with his old-fashioned, heel-stomping elixir of hooky riffs and cheery, egalitarian folk. MARK STOCK. Spare Room, 4830 NE 42nd Ave., 503-287-5800. 9 pm. $15. 21+.
Lord Dying, Bi-Marks, I Need Lunch (Dead Boys Tribute), Long Knife, DJ Chris Crusher
[PUNK ROCK] Something tells me the gents in Bi-Marks would bristle at the suggestion they came anywhere close to attaining anything so conventionally desirable as perfection, but oh well: Bi-Marks’ 2012 debut LP, The Golden Years, is pretty much punk’s platonic ideal. Although the album is essentially a compendium of ’80s hardcore highlights, this Portland quintet is possessed of a fury that would spin way out of control without genre constraints. And so Bi-Marks grudgingly abide the strictures while flailing against their chains,
monday birthing a pristine version of fast and pissed punk in the process. CHRIS STAMM. Star Bar, 639 SE Morrison St., 232-5553. 9 pm. Call venue for ticket information. 21+.
The Parson Red Heads, Ozarks, Josh and Mer
[’90S THROWBACK] Tonight’s New Year’s Eve bash will take you back to the days of Weezer’s debut record, a collection of songs every teenage boy at the time attempted to learn on his shitty electric guitar. Playing the album from start to finish will be the
MUSIC
Parson Red Heads, the half-redheaded group best known for its countrified pop tunes strewn with sunny, multipart harmonies. As a primer for the guaranteed singalongs to “Buddy Holly” and “Say It Ain’t So” guaranteed to ensue, Portland’s Ozarks will also perform Grandaddy’s debut album, Under the Western Freeway. So instead of celebrating the passing of another year, you can spend the evening believing this city really is stuck in the ’90s. EMILEE BOOHER. White Eagle Saloon, 836 N Russell St., 282-6810. 9:30 pm. $12 advance, $15 day of show. 21+.
A N d R E W WA I T S
YEAR-END
Listen aLL y’aLL: the stars of James Winters’ MCa tribute.
THE BEST OF EVERYTHING ELSE Best Show Almost No One Saw: Matthew Shipp Trio It was quite a surprise to find Jimmy Mak’s not even one-third full for a rare Portland appearance by powerhouse pianist Matthew Shipp and his trio. Granted, theirs is not the most straightforward of sounds, relying on angular rhythms and paroxysms of noise, but to have it ignored by the Rose City’s so-called aesthetes was downright embarrassing. ROBERT HAM. We didn’t just sit around listening to records all year. Some of us actually left the house.
Most Batshit Stage Banter: Sun Angle You simply must see Sun Angle live—if not for the local trio’s amphetamine psychedelia, then for its (figuratively) coked-up banter. At one show this year, drummer Papi Fimbres claimed to be “tripping balls.” At another, guitarist Charlie Salas-Humara told the crowd he wanted them “inside” him. JONATHAN FROCHTZWAJG. Best Use of the Old Church: Pure Bathing Culture Deity or no deity, those old storied walls and creaking pews turned the band’s already gooey sound into something downright spiritual at MusicfestNW. MARK STOCK. Best Obstacle-Crushing Performance: Los Cojolites While en route to Pickathon from their home in Veracruz, Mexico, Los Cojolites were detained at the border just hours before their set. The group—which plays the traditional style of son jarocho— finally arrived at around 1 am and immediately took the Starlight Stage for a stunning and energetic summer-night performance. EMILEE BOOHER. Best Cover: Daft Punk’s “Digital Love” by Zoogirl After an extended hiatus, power-emo supergroup Zoogirl played three shows this summer before calling for another indefinite break. The shows were rowdy and wonderful—especially when the daft punks covered Daft Punk, and absolutely nailed it. ARYA IMIG. Best Locally Memorialized Hip-Hop Hero: Adam Yauch When the great Adam Yauch, aka MCA of Beastie Boys, succumbed to cancer in May, the music world lost a sage. In Portland, people responded by remembering his legacy. From a tribute bringing together groups as diverse as Doctor Theopolis and Pinehurst Kids to subtle nods to James Winters’ viral reenactment of the “Sabotage” video, featuring his small children dressed as ’70s cops, Portland channeled its grief the best way possible: by paying homage to the art he left behind. AP KRYZA. Willamette Week DECEMBER 26, 2012 wweek.com
33
MUSIC CALENDAR
dec. 26 – Jan. 1
= WW Pick. Highly recommended. Editor: Jonathan Frochtzwajg. TO HAVE YOUR EVENT LISTED, send show information at least two weeks in advance on the web at wweek.com/submitevents or (if you book a specific venue) enter your events at dbmonkey.com/wweek. Press kits, CDs and especially vinyl can be sent to Music Desk, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Please include show or release date information with all physical mailings. Email: music@wweek.com. For more listings, check out wweek.com.
Larry and His Flask, Dirty Kid Discount, Hopeless Jack and the Handsome Devil, Ether Circus
A Bitchen Weekend: No Tomorrow Boys, the Cry!, Stumblebum, A Happy Death
No Tomorrow Boys, the Cry, Don Juan y Los Blancos
Brasserie Montmartre
Someday Lounge
3416 N Lombard St. Little Lord Fauntleroy, M.A.R.C., Hearts of Plaid
626 SW Park Ave. Eddie Parente Trio
camellia Lounge
125 NW 5th Ave. City Squirrel, Reign the Arcade, Foxtrot
club 21
4830 NE 42nd Ave. DC Malone & the Jones
clyde’s Prime Rib
13 NW 6th Ave. The Bitter Roots, Empire Rocket Machine
crystal Ballroom
2016 NE Sandy Blvd. Billy D and the Hoodoos
doug Fir Lounge
3341 SE Belmont St. Bridgetown Sextet
duff’s Garage
2026 NE Alberta St. Toys That Kill, Divers, Faster Housecat
b E AT S A N T I Q U E . C O M
510 NW 11th Ave. Andre St. James Quartet 2035 NE Glisan St. Don’t, the Bloodtypes, the Ransom 5474 NE Sandy Blvd. Planet Krypton 1332 W Burnside St. Beats Antique 830 E Burnside St. Reva DeVito, Natasha Kmeto, DJ K. Marie
Wed. dec. 26 Al’s den at the crystal Hotel 303 SW 12th Ave. Redwood Son
Andina
1314 NW Glisan St. Toshi Onizuka
Ash Street Saloon
225 SW Ash St. Second Player Score, Swim Atlantic, Give It FM
Backspace
115 NW 5th Ave. Open Mic
Berbati
231 SW Ankeny St. Excellent Gentlemen
Brasserie Montmartre 626 SW Park Ave. Nicole Glover Trio
duff’s Garage
1635 SE 7th Ave. Suburban Slim’s Blues Jam
east Burn
1800 E Burnside St. Irish Music Jam
east India co.
821 SW 11th Ave. Josh Feinberg
Jade Lounge
2346 SE Ankeny St. Karyn Ann
Jimmy Mak’s
221 NW 10th Ave. The Mel Brown Quartet with Harry Allen
Ladd’s Inn
1204 SE Clay St. Lynn Conover
Landmark Saloon
4847 SE Division St. Jake Ray and the Cowdogs (9:30 pm); Bob Shoemaker (6 pm)
LaurelThirst
2958 NE Glisan St. Mary Flower Trio
Lents commons
9201 SE Foster Road Open Mic
Mississippi Pizza
3552 N Mississippi Ave. Sam & Hank Hirsch, Harry McKenzie (9:30 pm); Mr. Hoo (12 pm)
Someday Lounge
125 NW 5th Ave. Classical Revolution PDX
The Blue diamond
Thorne Lounge
4260 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Open Mic
Tillicum club
8585 SW BeavertonHillsdale Highway Chad Rupp
Vie de Boheme
1530 SE 7th Ave. Lynn Winkle & Mark Stauffer
White eagle Saloon 836 N Russell St. Backyard Blues Boys
Wilfs Restaurant & Bar 800 NW 6th Ave. Ron Steen Band with Laura Stillwell
THuRS. dec. 27 Al’s den at the crystal Hotel
east Burn
1800 E Burnside St. Eat off Your Banjo Bluegrass
east end
203 SE Grand Ave. Drunk Dad, Emotional, Jerry Rogers, Sewers of Paris, DJ Overcol
Goodfoot Lounge
2845 SE Stark St. Julian’s Ride, No Hero
Ivories Jazz Lounge and Restaurant 1435 NW Flanders St. Jim Templeton
Jade Lounge
2346 SE Ankeny St. Scott Deams
Jimmy Mak’s
303 SW 12th Ave. Redwood Son
221 NW 10th Ave. The Mel Brown B3 Organ Group
Andina
Kelly’s Olympian
1314 NW Glisan St. Borikuas Trio
Andrea’s cha cha club 832 SE Grand Ave. Pilon D’Azucar Salsa Band
Ash Street Saloon
225 SW Ash St. Siren’s Echo, Eastern Sunz, Monster’s Ink, Eminent
Backspace
115 NW 5th Ave. The Sorry Devils, Jacob Miller & the Bridge City Crooners, Right On John
Biddy McGraw’s
6000 NE Glisan St. Josh Bigg’s Jam
chapel Pub
430 N Killingsworth St. Steve Kerin
clyde’s Prime Rib
5474 NE Sandy Blvd. Mesi & Bradley
corkscrew Wine Bar 1669 SE Bybee Blvd. Kokichi Tagawa
crystal Ballroom
1332 W Burnside St. Beats Antique
doug Fir Lounge
830 E Burnside St. Emily Wells, Timmy Straw
2016 NE Sandy Blvd.
34
1635 SE 7th Ave. Bluestar (9 pm); Tough Lovepyle (6 pm)
Willamette Week DECEMBER 26, 2012 wweek.com
426 SW Washington St. 42 Ford Prefect, the Vacillators, Smash Bandits
LaurelThirst
2958 NE Glisan St. Dan Haley, Tim Acott, Miss Jessie Spero (9:30 pm); Michael Hurley (6 pm)
Mississippi Studios
2621 SE Clinton St. Coconino Trio
Thorne Lounge
4260 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Claxton Kent
Tiger Bar
317 NW Broadway Karaoke from Hell
Tonic Lounge
3100 NE Sandy Blvd. And And And, the We Shared Milk, Pictorials
Vie de Boheme
1530 SE 7th Ave. Everything’s Jake
White eagle Saloon
836 N Russell St. Steve Hale (8:30 pm); Brothers of the Hound (5:30 pm)
Wilfs Restaurant & Bar
800 NW 6th Ave. Ellen, Gene, and Jean Trio
FRI. dec. 28 Al’s den at the crystal Hotel 303 SW 12th Ave. Redwood Son
Alberta Rose Theatre
3000 NE Alberta St. Jerry Joseph and the Jackmormons, Portland Country Underground, Bret Mosley
3939 N Mississippi Ave. Petunia and the Vipers, What Hearts
Andina
Mount Tabor Theater
Ash Street Saloon
4811 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Thomas Mapfumo & the Blacks Unlimited, Loveness Wesa and the Bantus Band
Original Halibut’s II 2527 NE Alberta St. Terry Robb
Secret Society Lounge 116 NE Russell St. Hack, Stitch & Buckshot
Sellwood Public House 8132 SE 13th Ave. Open Mic
Slabtown
1033 NW 16th Ave. Lucifer’s Child, Daggers
The Blue diamond
2016 NE Sandy Blvd. Ben Jones
1314 NW Glisan St. Dan Diresta Quartet 225 SW Ash St. Fluid Spill, Gnosis, A Killing Dove, the Charlie Darwins
Backspace
115 NW 5th Ave. The Taxpayers, No Gentlemen, Youngins
Biddy McGraw’s
The Know
Thorne Lounge
2621 SE Clinton St. Everything’s Jake 4260 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Emotion Farmers
3862 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Pierced Arrows, the Suicide Notes
Ivories Jazz Lounge and Restaurant 1435 NW Flanders St. Billy D & the Hoodoos
Jade Lounge
2346 SE Ankeny St. Kelsey Mousely, Stephanie Scelza, Born Cosmic (8 pm); Renee Muzquiz, Nat Comer (6 pm)
Ivories Jazz Lounge and Restaurant 1435 NW Flanders St. Cheryl Hodge/John Stowell Quartet
Jade Lounge
2346 SE Ankeny St. Kyrstyn Pixton (8 pm); Jeff Donovan (6 pm)
Jimmy Mak’s
221 NW 10th Ave. Kari Newhouse, the Druthers, Brownish Black, the Ty Curtis Band
Kelly’s Olympian
426 SW Washington St. Damn Divas
Landmark Saloon
4847 SE Division St. WC Beck
LaurelThirst
2958 NE Glisan St. Pagan Jug Band (9:30 pm); Alice Stuart (6 pm)
Mississippi Pizza
3552 N Mississippi Ave. The Dust Settlers, the Brad Parsons Band (9 pm); The Applicants (6 pm)
Mississippi Pizza
3552 N Mississippi Ave. LoveBomb Go Go (9 pm); Darlin’ Blackbirds (6 pm); Petty Cash (4 pm)
Mississippi Studios
3939 N Mississippi Ave. Ital, Acid Farm, Dasani Reboot
Mount Tabor Theater
4811 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Mystic Canyon, Jimi Hardin, Ninja Hippie
Muddy Rudder Public House 8105 SE 7th Ave. BassMandolin
Nel centro
1408 SW 6th Ave. Mike Pardew
Noho’s Hawaiian cafe 4627 NE Fremont St. Hawaiian Music
836 N Russell St. Garcia Birthday Band (9:30 pm); Reverb Brothers (5:30 pm)
Wilfs Restaurant & Bar 800 NW 6th Ave. Tony Pacini Trio
SAT. dec. 29 Al’s den at the crystal Hotel 303 SW 12th Ave. Redwood Son
Andina
1314 NW Glisan St. Toshi Onizuka Trio
Ash Street Saloon
225 SW Ash St. Shelter Red, Ancient Warlocks, Spatia
Backspace
115 NW 5th Ave. Mark MacMinn, Lance Leonnig, Mick Schafer, Elie Charpentier, Angela Jackson, Chris Juhlin
Biddy McGraw’s
6000 NE Glisan St. 29 Steps (9:30 pm); The Barkers (6 pm)
Branx
320 SE 2nd Ave. NTNT, Fringe Class, Finish Ticket, Koruscant Weekend, Adventure Galley
Brasserie Montmartre 626 SW Park Ave. Martens Combination
camellia Lounge 510 NW 11th Ave. Tummybuckles
clyde’s Prime Rib
5474 NE Sandy Blvd. ON-Q Band
crystal Ballroom
1332 W Burnside St. Railroad Earth, Tumbleweed Wanderers
dante’s
350 W Burnside St. The Spazmatics, the Afrodisiacs
doug Fir Lounge
Bijou cafe
Record Room
duff’s Garage
2527 NE Alberta St. Norman Sylvester
8 NE Killingsworth St. Christian Profeta, La Dona
Secret Society Lounge 116 NE Russell St. Pete Krebs and His Portland Playboys
Slabtown
1033 NW 16th Ave.
1635 SE 7th Ave. Ken DeRouchie Band
east Burn
1800 E Burnside St. The My Oh Mys
east end
203 SE Grand Ave.
303 SW 12th Ave. Matt Brown
Aladdin Theater
3017 SE Milwaukie Ave. Storm Large
Alberta Rose Theatre 3000 NE Alberta St. The Bobs, Rezonate
Andina
1314 NW Glisan St. Danny Romero
Ash Street Saloon
225 SW Ash St. Good Wolf, Jibstick, Secnd Best, Sleepy Creek
crystal Ballroom
1332 W Burnside St. Railroad Earth, Fruition 830 E Burnside St. Radiation City, Ancient Heat
Kelly’s Olympian
526 SW Yamhill St. Joe Marquand
SuN. dec. 30
Jimmy Mak’s
Vie de Boheme
830 E Burnside St. Supersuckers, Burn the Stage
320 SE 2nd Ave.
Hawthorne Theatre
Habesha
Original Halibut’s II
Branx
2845 SE Stark St. The Quick and Easy Boys, Eldridge Gravy and the Court Supreme
221 NW 10th Ave. The Linda Hornbuckle Band, Andy Stokes
6000 NE Glisan St. Sam Eliad (9:30 pm); Lynn Conover (6 pm) 32 SW 3rd Ave. Rebecca Kilgore, Harry Allen, Randy Porter, Scott Steed, Todd Strait (Marilyn Monroe & Judy Garland tribute)
Goodfoot Lounge
Al’s den at the crystal Hotel
2119 N Kerby Ave. Toys That Kill, Murmurs, Abolitionist, Faster Housecat
3728 NE Sandy Blvd. Neil Diamond tribute
White eagle Saloon
Wilfs Restaurant & Bar 800 NW 6th Ave. Devin Phillips Quartet
Tony Starlight’s
1530 SE 7th Ave. Acoustic Minds, the Sale
836 N Russell St. Justin Rayfield (9:30 pm); the Student Loan (4:30 pm)
Get Happy Studios
east end
Island Mana Wines
The Press club
The Blue Monk
east Burn
801 NE Broadway Desert of Hiatus, Dads 2, Sun Drugs, Ryan Miller
duff’s Garage
The Blue diamond
The Press club
203 SE Grand Ave. Ion Storm
The Fenix Project Blues Jam
Star Theater
1635 SE 7th Ave. Chad Rupp (9 pm); the Hamdogs (6 pm) 1800 E Burnside St. Solovox
cuT cOPy: Beats Antique plays crystal Ballroom on Thursday and Friday, dec. 27-28.
Spare Room
Foggy Notion
White eagle Saloon
doug Fir Lounge
426 SW Washington St. Cristina Cano, Bevelers, A. Forrest VanTuyl, Katy Stone, Lynnae Gryffin
Goodfoot Lounge
Langano Lounge
Interstate Firehouse cultural center
1435 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Moral Hex, Appendixes, Shadowhouse
LaurelThirst
2958 NE Glisan St. Garcia Birthday Band (9:30 pm); the James Low Western Front (6 pm)
Mississippi Studios
2845 SE Stark St. The Quick and Easy Boys, Acorn Project
5340 N Interstate Ave. Lisa’s Hotcakes; Piefight!; Lather, Rinse and Repeat (Rock ‘n’ Roll Camp for Girls benefit)
Ivories Jazz Lounge and Restaurant 1435 NW Flanders St. Jim Templeton
3939 N Mississippi Ave. Jerry Joseph & the Jackmormons, Truckstop Darlin’
Jade Lounge
Nel centro
LaurelThirst
1408 SW 6th Ave. Mike Pardew, Dave Captein, Randy Rollofson
Noho’s Hawaiian cafe 4627 NE Fremont St. Hawaiian Music
Original Halibut’s II 2527 NE Alberta St. Lloyd Jones
Record Room
8 NE Killingsworth St. Abusive Consumer, Jatun, Sun Hammer
Rotture
315 SE 3rd Ave. Alaska Thunderfuck, Jinkx Monsoon, Carla Rossi, Little Tommy Bang Bang, Kaj-Anne Pepper
2346 SE Ankeny St. Worth, Ruby Pines (8 pm); Chuck Barnes (6 pm) 2958 NE Glisan St. Dan Haley & Tim Acott (9:30 pm); Freak Mountain Ramblers (6 pm)
Mississippi Pizza
3552 N Mississippi Ave. Collin Warren (9 pm); How Long Jug Band (6:30 pm)
Mississippi Studios
3939 N Mississippi Ave. Jerry Joseph & the Jackmormons, Polyrhythmics
Muddy Rudder Public House 8105 SE 7th Ave. Irish Music
Secret Society Lounge
Music Millennium
Spare Room
Rontoms
116 NE Russell St. The Clambake Combo
3158 E Burnside St. The Bobs
Star Theater
13 NW 6th Ave. Mbrascatu
600 E Burnside St. The Woolen Men, the Memories, Regular Music, Wooden Indian Burial Ground, Charts, JJAAXXNN
The Blue diamond
Rotture
The Blue Monk
Slabtown
4830 NE 42nd Ave. The Way Downs
2016 NE Sandy Blvd. Ron Stephens and Freak Fly Flag 3341 SE Belmont St. NIX
The Press club
2621 SE Clinton St. Meester & Meester, Greg Ewer, Michael Papillo
Thorne Lounge
4260 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Men’s Acoustic Showcase
Tony Starlight’s
3728 NE Sandy Blvd. The Best of the Tony Starlight Show
Vie de Boheme
1530 SE 7th Ave. Beacon Street Titans (9 pm); Cameron Quick (6 pm)
315 SE 3rd Ave. Branes, Concrete Floor, Jizz Wisard, FreaqMasons 1033 NW 16th Ave. A Bitchen Weekend: Blood Buddies, Sharks from Mars
Spare Room
4830 NE 42nd Ave. The Angel Bouchet Band Jam
The Blue Monk
3341 SE Belmont St. Pete Peterson
Tonic Lounge
3100 NE Sandy Blvd. Cathedral
Tony Starlight’s
3728 NE Sandy Blvd. Gary Smith’s Mardi Gras All-Stars
dec. 26 – Jan. 1 BAR SPOTLIGHT
736 SE Grand Ave. Sex Life DJs
james rexroad
Mississippi Studios
3939 N Mississippi Ave. Typhoon, Wild Ones, the Morals
Fez Ballroom
316 SW 11th Ave. Doc Adam, DJ TJ
Mount Tabor Theater
nel centro
1408 SW 6th Ave. Mike Pardew Trio with Patrick Harry and Randy Rollofson
original Halibut’s II 2527 NE Alberta St. Jim Wallace
Portland Airport Sheraton
8235 NE Airport Way Hit Explosion
Radio Room
SEND IN THE CLOWNS: Sky Club (50 SW 3rd Ave., 223-1375, skyclubpdx.com) is a stage in a corner. A trapeze and silken strands are suspended from the corner’s beams, while hoops and glowing tethered balls whiz around athletic, gender-bent hands in the purplish light. This is Sky Club’s aerial circus each Friday and Saturday night. Though reportedly PG-13, there is occasional “Olympic-quality” pole dancing. Queen Ruthie is the former Junior Rose Queen, exotic dancer and ringmaster of this variety show. Once Captain Ankeny’s Well, Sky Club hasn’t replaced the longtime stopover bar so much as hung up a vinyl sign reading, in Star Trek font, “Sky Club” over the entrance. The staff still pours a respectable dozen or so beers, the vibe is still divey, a plaque above the bar still claims this land in the name of the captain, and the pizza-friendly menu has been reduced but not reformed. The house cocktails are both wacky and unfortunate, but the bar can whip up any popular mixes very well. We can’t complain about a classic dive bar with sexy humans flipping out in the corner, and neither should you. MITCH LILLIE. Valentine’s
Bunk Bar
Vie de Boheme
camellia Lounge
232 SW Ankeny St. DJ Vs. Nature, Salted 1530 SE 7th Ave. Gaea Schell
White Eagle Saloon 836 N Russell St. Open Mic
Mon. DEc. 31 Al’s Den at the crystal Hotel 303 SW 12th Ave. Matt Brown
Aladdin Theater
3017 SE Milwaukie Ave. Storm Large
Alberta Rose Theatre
3000 NE Alberta St. The David Grisman Bluegrass Experience, Shook Twins (10 pm and 7 pm)
Andina
1314 NW Glisan St. Danny Romero, Toshi Onizuka Trio (9 pm); JB Butler, Nat Hulskamp Trio (5:45 pm)
Arlene Schnitzer concert Hall
1037 SW Broadway Pink Martini with the Portland Youth Philharmonic (10:30 pm and 7 pm)
Ash Street Saloon
225 SW Ash St. Raise the Bridges, Goodyear, Drawback, Big Bang, Rendered Useless, Ninjas with Syringes
Backspace
115 NW 5th Ave. Lost Lander, Aan, Dana Buoy
Biddy McGraw’s
6000 NE Glisan St. Funk Shui, Tree Frogs
Brasserie Montmartre
626 SW Park Ave. Will West & the Friendly Strangers
1028 SE Water Ave. Quasi 510 NW 11th Ave. Steve Hall Trio with Adlai Alexander
clyde’s Prime Rib
5474 NE Sandy Blvd. Cool Breeze
crystal Ballroom
1332 W Burnside St. Railroad Earth
Dante’s
350 W Burnside St. Smoochknob & the Smoochgirls, Amerakin Overdose
Dig a Pony
736 SE Grand Ave. Magic Mouth, Shy Girls, Cooky Parker, Bobby Dangerous, Jimbo, Hostile Tapeover, Nathan Detroit & Freaky Outy
Doug Fir Lounge
830 E Burnside St. Weinland’s NYE Supergroup, the Minus 5
Duff’s Garage
1635 SE 7th Ave. DK Stewart Sextet, Kevin Selfe & the Tornadoes
East End
203 SE Grand Ave. Bauhaus, the Cure and Siouxsie and the Banshees tribute
Goodfoot Lounge
2845 SE Stark St. Scott Pemberton Trio
Hawthorne Theatre
3862 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Hellion (Judas Priest tribute), Crazy Train (Ozzy Osbourne tribute), Holy Diver (Dio tribute), Highway Star (Deep Purple tribute)
Holocene
1001 SE Morrison St.
Miracles Club, Jeffrey Jerusalem Band, Brainstorm, Hosannas, Magic Fades, DJ Beyondadoubt, DJ E*Rock, DJ Zack (9 pm); Pennington/Wyland Duo, DJ Beyondadoubt (7:30 pm)
Ivories Jazz Lounge and Restaurant
1101 NE Alberta St. The Keplers, Ramune Rocket 3
Rotture
315 SE 3rd Ave. Onuinu, Reva DeVito, Roane Namuh, Stewart Villain, TxE, Illa, DJ Fatboy
Secret Society Lounge 116 NE Russell St. The Saloon Ensemble, LoveBomb Go-Go Marching Band
Slabtown
1033 NW 16th Ave. A Bitchen Weekend: Bloodtypes, Chemicals, Fasters
Someday Lounge
125 NW 5th Ave. The Satin Chaps, Brownish Black, DJ Hippie Joe, DJ Von Tussle
Spare Room
4830 NE 42nd Ave. Caleb Klauder Country Band, the Barn Door Slammers
Star Bar
639 SE Morrison St. Lord Dying, Bi-Marks, I Need Lunch (Dead Boys tribute), Long Knife, DJ Chris Crusher
Star Theater
The Blue Monk
3341 SE Belmont St. Soul Vaccination (10 pm and 7 pm)
Jimmy Mak’s
3100 NE Sandy Blvd. Dinner for Wolves, Go Ballistic, Advisory
426 SW Washington St. Water & Bodies, Violet Isle, Symmetry/Symmetry, DJ Vinyl Blows
Kenton club
Tonic Lounge
Tony Starlight’s
3728 NE Sandy Blvd. Tony Starlight’s AM Gold Show (10:30 pm and 8 pm)
Vie de Boheme
1530 SE 7th Ave. Blues Tsunami with Lloyd Jones, Terry Robb, Mitch Kashmar, and LaRhonda Steele
White Eagle Saloon
2025 N Kilpatrick St. Fist Fite, RLLRBLL, the Hand That Bleeds, the Rotties, Kayla Sega
836 N Russell St. The Parson Red Heads, Ozarks, Josh and Mer
Langano Lounge
800 NW 6th Ave. Kate Davis Band
1435 SE Hawthorne Blvd. A Volcano, Ix, Duty, Young Dad
LaurelThirst
2958 NE Glisan St. Laura Veirs, Nate Query (of the Decemberists), Annalisa Tornfelt, Jon Neufeld, John Moen (of the Decemberists), Shelly Short, Garth Klippert (of Old Light), Mike Coykendall, Calico Rose (Two Beers Veirs’ New Years)
Mississippi Pizza
3552 N Mississippi Ave.
Dig a Pony
736 SE Grand Ave. Pussy Control: Nathan Detroit, Black Dog
Ground Kontrol
511 NW Couch St. TRONix with Logical Aggression
Matador
1967 W Burnside St. DJ Whisker Friction
Red and Black cafe
400 SE 12th Ave. MarchFourth Marching Band, DJ Max
Star Bar
639 SE Morrison St. DJ Overcol
The crown Room
205 NW 4th Ave. Proper Movement: Desero, Vein, the Four Horsemen, Torrent, ZK, Most Hated, Azazel
The Lovecraft
421 SE Grand Ave. Sedatephobia: GhostEngine, Rap Class, Ryan Organ, Northern Draw
The Whiskey Bar
31 NW 1st Ave. Whiskey Wednesday
Tiga
1465 NE Prescott St. DJ Sweet Relish
Valentine’s
232 SW Ankeny St. DJ Sister Sister
THuRS. DEc. 27
Berbati
2346 SE Ankeny St. OBVCP, Class M Planets, Kayla Shauvin, the Just Reverie
Kelly’s olympian
219 NW Davis St. Trick with DJ Robb
The Blue Diamond
Jade Lounge
2809 NE Sandy Blvd. Bitch School, Stumblebum, Bad Backs
cc Slaughters
Beech Street Parlor
2016 NE Sandy Blvd. Deep Blue Soul Revue
Katie o’Briens
412 NE Beech St. Mudslide Mcbride
13 NW 6th Ave. Wanderlust Circus, Jenny Penny
1435 NW Flanders St. Best of Friends Trio
221 NW 10th Ave. Wheels in the Sky (Journey tribute), the Excellent Gentlemen, Nicole Berke
WED. DEc. 26 Beech Street Parlor
Wilfs Restaurant & Bar
TuES. JAn. 1 Al’s Den at the crystal Hotel 303 SW 12th Ave. Matt Brown
Ivories Jazz Lounge and Restaurant 1435 NW Flanders St. Jim Templeton
White Eagle Saloon 836 N Russell St. Bottlecap Boys
412 NE Beech St. DJ Old Frontier
231 SW Ankeny St. DJ Deff Ro
cc Slaughters
219 NW Davis St. Hip Hop Heaven with DJ Detroit Diezel
Dig a Pony
736 SE Grand Ave. Newrotics
Palace of Industry 5426 N Gay Ave. DJ Kerouac
Digital Stimulation: Mykle Wave, PKOblivion
Dig a Pony
736 SE Grand Ave. Jimbo (late set); Icarus (early set)
Element Restaurant & Lounge 1135 SW Morrison St. Chris Alice
Fez Ballroom
316 SW 11th Ave. DJs Gigahurtz, Lusciouz
Gold Dust Meridian
Goodfoot Lounge
Mount Tabor Theater
oregon convention center
1001 SE Morrison St. Jai Ho!: Prashant, VJ Brett Bell, DJ UV 4811 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Dementia
Palace of Industry 5426 N Gay Ave. The Original James Murphy
Star Bar
The crown Room
Holocene
1001 SE Morrison St. Snap!: Dr. Adam, Colin Jones, Freaky Outty
Lola’s Room at the crystal Ballroom
1332 W Burnside St. ‘80s Video Dance Attack
Rotture
315 SE 3rd Ave. Blown: Nicky Mason, Rap Class, Mode 7, D Poetica
Star Bar
639 SE Morrison St. Blank Friday with DJ Ikon
The crown Room
205 NW 4th Ave. Noise Friday: DJ Dev from Above, DJ TJ
The Lovecraft
421 SE Grand Ave. Skullfuck! with DJ Horrid
Tiga
1465 NE Prescott St. Beacon Sound
Valentine’s
232 SW Ankeny St. DJ Hwy 7
SAT. DEc. 29 Beech Street Parlor 412 NE Beech St. DJ Things
Berbati
231 SW Ankeny St. DJ Kypros (Ted’s); DJ Mello C (Berbati’s Pan)
cc Slaughters
219 NW Davis St. Revolution with DJ Robb
Fez Ballroom
Holocene
Goodfoot Lounge
511 NW Couch St. DJ Notaz
1800 E Burnside St. DJ Gray Matter 316 SW 11th Ave. 50 Shades of Bond: DJs Nature, Stray
3267 SE Hawthorne Blvd. DJs Gregarious, Disorder
3267 SE Hawthorne Blvd. DJ A Train
Ground Kontrol
East Burn
Gold Dust Meridian
639 SE Morrison St. Go French Yourself! with DJ Cecilia Paris
2845 SE Stark St. Soul Stew with DJ Aquaman
Trannyshack: DJ Animal, Heklina
205 NW 4th Ave. Trap Funeral: Sinjin Hawke, Barisone, Cestladore, Most Custom, Gang$ign$
The Lovecraft
421 SE Grand Ave. Salmonella: DJs Rustyn, Alan Park
Tiga
1465 NE Prescott St. DJ Rndm Noise
Valentine’s
232 SW Ankeny St. DJs New Dadz, Honest John
Sun. DEc. 30 Dig a Pony
736 SE Grand Ave. Super Cardigan Brothers
Someday Lounge 125 NW 5th Ave. Hive
The Whiskey Bar
31 NW 1st Ave. Heatbeat, DJ Eddie, the Dark, Evan Alexander
Mon. DEc. 31 Beech Street Parlor 412 NE Beech St. DJ Bad Wizard
Bossanova Ballroom
722 E Burnside St. DJ Anjali & the Incredible Kid
cc Slaughters
219 NW Davis St. Maniac Monday with DJ Robb
club 21
2035 NE Glisan St. DJ Cecilia
2845 SE Stark St. Soul Stew with DJ Aquaman
777 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd. Bass Odyssey, Nero, Alana
Portland Art Museum 1219 SW Park Ave. InspireTruth: MarchFourth Marching Band, Vibesquad, Ott, Phutureprimitive, Govinda, Kaminanda, Just People, Solovox, Michael Manahan, DJ Dragonfly, Ramiro, Andrew Mataus, Luke Mandala, Mr. Wu
The crown Room
205 NW 4th Ave. Doc Adam, Most Custom, Gang$ign$, Kellan, DJ Rad
The Lovecraft
421 SE Grand Ave. DJs Horrid, Tom and Erica Jones
The Whiskey Bar
31 NW 1st Ave. American Girls, Jamie Meushaw, DJ Eddie
Tiga
1465 NE Prescott St. KM Fizzy, Sweet Jimmy T, DJ Jen O.
Valentine’s
232 SW Ankeny St. Nine Inch Nilina
Wonder Ballroom
128 NE Russell St. ‘80s Video Dance Attack
Yale union (Yu)
800 SE 10th Avenue Egyptian Lover, Jamie Jupiter, Etbonz, White Rainbow, Maxx Bass
TuES. JAn. 1 cc Slaughters
219 NW Davis St. Girltopia with DJ Alicious
Kelly’s olympian
426 SW Washington St. Eye Candy VJs
The Lovecraft
421 SE Grand Ave. Tom Waits Night
Eagle Portland
835 N Lombard St
Someday Lounge
lisa johnson
4811 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Pigs on the Wing (Pink Floyd tribute), System and Station
MUSIC CALENDAR
Dig a Pony
Melao de Cuba (9 pm); Mr. Ben (5 pm)
125 NW 5th Ave. DJs Mr. Romo, Michael Grimes
Star Bar
639 SE Morrison St. DJ Dirty Red
Swift Lounge
1932 NE Broadway Funky Broadway with DJ Drew Groove
The Lovecraft
421 SE Grand Ave. Rock at Death Trip with DJ Tobias
Tiga
1465 NE Prescott St. DJ Cuica
Wonder Ballroom 128 NE Russell St. Seven Lions, Zebo
FRI. DEc. 28 Beech Street Parlor 412 NE Beech St. DJ Soulbowl
Berbati
231 SW Ankeny St.
BuS KIn: Larry and His Flask play Branx on Friday, Dec. 28. Willamette Week DECEMBER 26, 2012 wweek.com
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PERFORMANCE
dec. 26 – Jan. 1
= WW Pick. Highly recommended. Most prices listed are for advance ticket sales. At-the-door increases and so-called convenience charges may apply, so it’s best to call ahead.
FRITz LIEDTKE
Editor: REBECCA JACOBSON. Theater: REBECCA JACOBSON (rjacobson@ wweek.com). Classical: BRETT CAMPBELL (bcampbell@wweek.com). Dance: HEATHER WISNER (dance@wweek.com). TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, submit information at least two weeks in advance to: rjacobson@wweek.com.
ZooZoo
THEATER Arms and the Man
In the first minutes of George Bernard Shaw’s anti-militarism comedy, a Swiss mercenary named Bluntschli crashes through a stranger’s window after fleeing a battle in the Serbo-Bulgarian War. Sleep-deprived and grubby, he begs the room’s beautiful young Bulgarian occupant, Raina, to hide him. And upon learning he’s the sort of soldier who crams his pockets not with cartridges but with chocolates, she fortifies him with a box of chocolate creams. From there, Shaw debunks not only romantic illusions of war, but also the hypocrisy of class differences, the immorality of keeping servants and the posturing xenophobia of patriotism. It’s a systematic, satirical takedown, stacked with biting one-liners. This Northwest Classical Theatre Company production turns in numerous crowdpleasing moments. But Arms and the Man is a deceptively difficult play, requiring director and cast to balance frivolity, didacticism and irony, and it’s in this juggling act that the production sometimes stumbles. As Bluntschli, Jason Maniccia is levelheaded and practical. Other characters are more outsize, namely Sergius, Raina’s blustery fiancé. Though Bluntschli is Shaw’s voice of reason, he gave Sergius many of the punchiest lines, both serious (“Soldiering, my dear madam, is the coward’s art of attacking mercilessly when you are strong, and keeping out of harm’s way when you are weak”) and droll (“I could no more fight with you than I could make love to an ugly woman”). But with a
In this Portland Playhouse commissioned work by Christina Anderson, presented here as a staged reading, an Oregon town is destroyed by fire and rebuilt without its black residents. Portland Playhouse, 602 NE Prescott St., 205-0715. 10 am Saturday and 6 pm Sunday, Dec. 29-30. $15-$39.
King Hedley II
When the title character in King Hedley II talks about the man he murdered— a crime for which he just served seven years in prison—he summons a sharp allusion. “I got the atomic bomb as far as he concerned,” King says. “And I got to use it.” King’s reference is apt: An apocalyptic threat simmers throughout August Wilson’s play, the ninth in his 10-play Pittsburgh Cycle. Set in 1985 in a black Pittsburgh neighborhood ravaged by socioeconomic decline, violence and spiritual blight—evocatively rendered with the set’s chainlink fence, dirt floor and wind chime made of weather-beaten forks and spoons—a sense of decay pervades the proceedings. Wilson’s play receives a fittingly forceful production at Portland Playhouse, finely directed by Jade King Carroll. Hedley is not Wilson’s tautest
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cast that walks a fine and sometimes clumsy line between naturalism and caricature, these lines feel more like Russell Stover candies than like fine Swiss chocolates: They might provide a quick kick of flavor, but the delight is unlikely to linger for long. REBECCA JACOBSON. Shoe Box Theater, 2110 SE 10th Ave., 971-244-3740. 7:30 pm Thursdays-Saturdays, 2 pm Sundays through Jan. 20. $18-$20.
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Willamette Week DECEMBER 26, 2012 wweek.com
work: The playwright is deservedly acclaimed for his operatic monologues, but in Hedley they’re needlessly discursive and laden with excess backstory. But what the script lacks in focus is more than made up for in the intensity and immediacy of the performances. Oregon Shakespeare Festival veteran Peter Macon plays King with keen physical and vocal command. As he attempts to sell stolen refrigerators with accomplice Mister (Vin Shambry, in a tremendously vigorous performance), King also works to reconcile with his long-distant mother, Ruby, played with ferocity, melancholy and irrepressible charm by Monica Parks. Meanwhile, King’s pregnant wife, Tonya (Ramona Lisa Alexander), assesses the value of bringing a child into a ravaged world; Ruby’s onetime lover Elmore (John Cothran Jr.) returns to Pittsburgh to woo her once again; and the Tiresias-like Stool Pigeon (Victor Mack) delivers blunt biblical interpretations (he more than once informs us that “God is a bad motherfucker”). But even as the characters sing and joke, they’ve got handguns in their pockets, ready to fire, and bombs in their souls, ready to detonate. REBECCA JACOBSON. Portland Playhouse, 602 NE Prescott St., 205-0715. 7:30 pm ThursdaysSaturdays, 2 pm Sundays-Saturdays through Dec. 30. $23-$32.
Peter Pan
Northwest Children’s Theater heads to Neverland. NW Neighborhood Cultural Center, 1819 NW Everett St., 222-4480. Many showtimes through Jan. 6. See nwcts.org for schedule. $13-$22.
The Santaland Diaries
The Santaland Diaries, David Sedaris’ brutally comedic account of a stint playing wage-slave elf “Crumpet” for Macy’s annual Yuletide installation, always seemed an odd evergreen to brighten the season of giving. As a one-man show with minimal staging, the unflinching depiction of a shopping public too boastful or benumbed to temper their worst instincts doesn’t exactly ennoble the audience. Amid nastier moments, it’s a Christmas miracle that the spirit never dims. For this fourth Portland Center Stage run, Darius Pierce dons the striped leggings for the first time, and the local stage and television veteran navigates the poles of impish self-deprecation and scathing misanthropy with an eye toward sheer momentum. Pierce, whose shiny dome and mischievous mien helplessly suggest Dr. Evil, doesn’t linger excessively over his observations and, playing a character as fractured by seasonal expectations as anyone he encounters, he wrings genuine sentiment from the sappiest time of the year. JAY HORTON. Gerding Theater, 128 NW 11th Ave., 445-3700. 7:30 pm Tuesdays-Sundays, 2 pm Saturdays and Sundays, 12 pm Thursdays. Closes Dec. 30. $30-$59.
Sherlock Holmes and the Case of the Christmas Carol
The year: 1894. The day: Christmas Eve. The plot: Charles Dickens’ exhausted classic A Christmas Carol, with the faint-
est overlay of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s equally gasping Sherlock Holmes series. The basic premise of John Longenbaugh’s script—that Holmes would grow weary of his formulaic occupation—is solid, and the play’s funniest moments are farces of Doyle’s repetitive recipe. But Artists Rep’s reprisal of last year’s production takes its Carol elements so seriously that what could have been a brilliant combination of two compatible stories becomes A Christmas Carol with a light dusting of Sherlock. Couldn’t any old plot be subbed in for Holmes? Why not, say, Christmas Carol to the Lighthouse? Other than a few small changes in the cast, not much has changed since last year, but Sherlock Holmes and the Case of the Christmas Carol still hasn’t listened to the Ghost of Christmas Past. MITCH LILLIE. Artists Repertory Theatre, 1515 SW Morrison St., 241-1278. 7:30 pm Tuesdays-Sundays, 2 pm Sundays. Closes Dec. 30. $20-$50.
ZooZoo
Anthropomorphic penguins, frogs, cats and even not-so-inanimate objects goof off in Imago Theatre’s final family-friendly holiday production of ZooZoo. ZooZoo has visuals sure to shock jaded parents and physical comedy to spark bored teens. Whether all this shocking and sparking goes off, however, depends on the family. The whimsical costumes are hardy and lifelike, and the performers believably imitate the variety of animals and objects. ZooZoo’s highlight has animals coming offstage to touch, lick and play with the audience. Non sequiturs and classic cartoon gags are at the center of this universe, and ultimately ZooZoo succeeds well enough, if only by family standards. MITCH LILLIE. Imago Theatre, 17 SE 8th Ave., 231-3959. Many showtimes through Jan. 1. See imagotheatre.com for schedule. $16-$31.
COMEDY & VARIETY Antiques Improv Show
Improv based on audience members’ antiques and oddities. Brody Theater, 16 NW Broadway, 224-2227. 7:30 pm Saturdays through Jan. 12. $8-$10.
Funny Over Everything Christmas Spectacular
Matt Braunger and Ron Funches headline this showcase, also featuring Ian Karmel and Shane Torres. Hollywood Theatre, 4122 NE Sandy Blvd., 281-4215. 8 pm Friday, Dec. 28. $10.
Myq Kaplan
Known for his nerdy and verbally intricate jokes, Myq Kaplan has done the late-night circuit and appeared on Last Comic Standing. Helium Comedy Club, 1510 SE 9th Ave., 888-643-8669. 8 pm Thursday, 7:30 pm and 10 pm FridaySaturday, Dec. 27-29. $15-$25.
The Best of Curious
A sampler of the best shows of 2012. Curious Comedy, 5225 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., 477-9477. 8 pm Friday-Saturday, Dec. 28-29. $12-$15.
CLASSICAL Classical Revolution PDX
Three rules: Any Bach. Any instrumentation. Any interpretation. Almost anything goes at one of the city’s most fun holiday music events, the annual Bachxing Day celebration of history’s greatest composer. This year’s lineup includes a cantata, violin sonata, solo partita (transcribed for viola), selections from the great “Musical Offering” and some of the “Two-Part Inventions”—with bingo. Audience participation welcome; BYO-Instrument, as well as puns and haikus even more egregious than the event’s name. Someday Lounge, 125 NW 5th Ave., 248-1030. 9 pm Wednesday, Dec. 26. $5-$20. 21+.
Oregon Renaissance Band
For more than two decades, Phil and Gayle Neuman have added a vital dimension to Portland’s classical-music scene: Renaissance music performed on authentic replicas of archaic instruments—spinettino, sackbut, rackett, tartold, cornamuse, krummhörn, bells, tabor, plus more familiar early recorders, violin, viol, lute and guitar—from the time the music was written. Their dozenmember ensemble’s annual concert includes music by William Byrd, Thomas Tallis, Michael Praetorius and others— including a Magnificat by one Charles Pachelbel, spawn of the Canon fodder, and selections from their splendid new CD of Renaissance Christmas music and other celebratory sounds, Now Make We Joye. Sunday’s performance is at Aidan’s Episcopal Church (17405 NE Glisan St., Gresham). Community Music Center, 3350 SE Francis St., 823-3177. 7:30 pm Friday-Saturday and 3 pm Sunday, Dec. 28-30. $12-$15.
Portland Youth Philharmonic
The nation’s oldest youth orchestra’s annual holiday concert features popular classical music from the theater and opera by Puccini, Saint-Saëns, Offenbach and Glière. Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall, 1037 SW Broadway, 223-5939. 7:30 pm Wednesday, Dec. 26. $11-$40.
Rebecca Kilgore and Randy Porter
This New Year’s Eve fundraiser for the invaluable presenting organization Friends of Chamber Music features two jazz veterans performing standards from the ‘30s and ‘40s. The Old Church, 1422 SW 11th Ave., 224.9842. 7:30 pm Monday, Dec. 31. $25.
The Ensemble
This collection of some of the city’s finest choral singers performs tooseldom-heard Christmas music by Poulenc (Four Christmas Motets), Benjamin Britten (A Hymn to the Virgin), Stephen Paulus, Herbert Howells and other fine 20th-century rarities. Grace Memorial Episcopal Church, 1535 NE 17th Ave., 753 8368. 8 pm Saturday, Dec. 29. $15-$20.
For more Performance listings, visit
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dec. 26 – Jan. 1 PROFILE
= WW Pick. Highly recommended.
MaRK STeiN
VISUAL ARTS
By RichaRd SpeeR. TO Be cONSideRed FOR LiSTiNGS, submit show information—including opening and closing dates, gallery address and phone number—at least two weeks in advance to: Visual arts, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., portland, OR 97210. email: rspeer@wweek.com.
Brendan Tierney
in an unfocused four-artist show in which many paintings aren’t marked with identifying labels, painter Brendan Tierney stands out from the fray. in a style influenced by graffiti tagging, he depicts the same woman—her head thrust upward, arms flung ecstatically outward—against a multitude of backgrounds, which alternately suggest cityscapes or pure abstraction. acrylic paint on wood panel, the works exemplify the lowbrow sensibility that has long been the pictorial signature of this versatile multiuse space. Closes Dec. 30. Backspace, 115 NW 5th Ave., 248-2900.
Brigitte Dortmund
With their bubblegum palette, thick impasto, and pod-like organic shapes, Brigitte dortmund’s paintings are stylistically unmistakable. in her newest body of work, she begins to edge away from the vegetal world, her surfaces increasingly expressing saturated hues and extravagant surfaces without recourse to representational subject matter. as such, they occupy a visual space seemingly at the intersection of abstract expressionism and color-field painting. it’s a fresh and agreeable development that exploits dortmund’s strongest gifts as an artist. Through January 11. Mark Woolley Gallery @ Pioneer, 700 SW 5th Ave., 3rd floor, Pioneer Place Mall, 503-998-4152.
End of the World
Joseph McVetty iii’s cheekily subversive drawings are the highlight of compound’s sprawling themed show, End of the World. in latex, gouache, and graphite on paper, he depicts Wicca-inflected figures engaged in strange rituals. paunchy, pasty, clad only in ill-fitting undergarments and skull masks, the figures hoist crystals in unintentionally parodic offerings to unseen gods and goddesses. Closes Dec. 30. Compound Gallery, 107 NW 5th Ave., 796-2733.
Gwenn Seemel: Crime Against Nature
portraitist Gwenn Seemel turns her attention to the animal kingdom in the exhibition Crime Against Nature and draws whimsical but politically relevant parallels between animal and human sexuality. She offers up a picture of a genderqueer biosphere populated by promiscuous squirrels, infertile camels, lactating male bats, lesbian dolphins, bisexual bonobos and an array of other freak-flag-flying beasts of surf and turf. as fun as the imagery may be, the show powerfully rebuts right-wingers who point to the animal kingdom as “proof” that sex in nature is uniformly vanilla.Through Jan. 12. Place Gallery, Pioneer Place, third floor, 700 SW 5th Ave.
Kim Hamblin and p:ear youth
drawing inspiration from the natural world, Kim hamblin excels at pieces like Swallow, a sculptural wall-relief piece in which the eponymous bird sings from cartoon speech bubbles. instead of words or musical notes, it communicates with images of other birds, sky-view vistas and cozy perches filled with fellow swallows. it’s a fanciful linguistic conceit, this conflation of speech and image. hamblin exhibits her work this month alongside artwork by p:ear youth. Dec. 6-31. P:ear, 338 NW 6th Ave., 503-228-6677.
Lee Kelly: Atacama
Veteran sculptor Lee Kelly is at the top of his form in Atacama, a suite of wall-mounted and freestanding sculptures of welded steel and gold leaf. With their elegant, biomorphic forms, the pieces exude a calligraphic elegance. Atacama I recalls the contours of Japanese pagodas, while the buoyant Atacama III looks like a jauntily abstracted dog. a freestanding piece called Pumalin is the exhibition’s
strongest; in fact, that it’s on a pedestal instead of on the wall is an important part of its appeal. Works this intricate benefit from being viewed in the round—it seems a shame to hide their backsides from view by hanging them on the wall. Through Dec. 29. Elizabeth Leach Gallery, 417 NW 9th Ave., 224-0521.
Raymond Pettibon: The Punk Years, 1978-86
World-renowned artist Raymond pettibon is showcased in a sassy traveling show sponsored in part by the andy Warhol Foundation. The show focuses on pettibon’s formative years in the underground punk scene in Southern california. it features some 200 designs, many of which will be familiar to fans of the artist, whose style is heavily influenced by comic books and illustration. Closes Jan. 25. One Grand Gallery, 1000 E Burnside St.
The Faux Masters
This quirky Old Town art space and curiosity shop, next door to Graeter art Gallery, offers up a wide-ranging group show for November and december. among the artists featured in The Faux Masters are internationally known journalist and graphic novelist Joe Sacco, Oregon Biennial alumna Melody Owen, duct-tape artist Mona Superhero and 10 other locally and nationally based artists who work across a range of media. With its wideranging scope, this exhibition may be the key viewers need to decode this gallery’s willfully inscrutable programming. Through Jan. 3. The Faux Museum, 139 NW 2nd Ave.
Theresia Viska: La Danse Française
Swedish artist Theresia Viska channels the ghostly formal ball in Stanley Kubrick’s The Shining in her suite of haunting photographs, taken at an annual military academy ball in Stockholm. as the debonair cadets and officers dance with women dressed in gowns, Viska allows her camera to blur the dancers’ motion. The figure studies that result are sometimes grotesque and betray the influence of one of Viska’s artistic heroes, the late painter Francis Bacon. With their white gloves, black ties and sumptuous costumes, the figures whirl and smear into flashes of distorted movement, evoking the brushstrokes of impressionism rather than the crisp focus of contemporary photography. Through Dec. 30. Blue Sky Gallery, 122 NW 8th Ave., 225-0210.
Trish Grantham: At a Loss for Words
Trish Grantham’s At a Loss for Words will likely not leave you at a loss for adjectives: depressing, banal and cringe-inducing are some of the first that come to mind. These collageheavy mixed-media works, buried under coats of smarmy resin, depict a saccharine menagerie of birds, whales, rabbits, fish and antelopes. Kitsch without tongue in cheek, whimsy without point-of-view, these are some of the most aggressively bad artworks exhibited in portland this year. Through Dec. 29. Augen DeSoto, 716 NW Davis St., 224-8182.
Una Kim: gestures
Una Kim’s exhibition, gestures, is a mishmash of incongruous elements. Figures, heads and Kanji characters jostle against one another, vainly searching for cohesion. The technique is facile, the placement of motifs arbitrary. On the four walls of Nine’s boxy exhibition space, Kim’s unstretched canvases have the unfinished look of street art or bad craft. Through Dec. 30. Nine Gallery, 122 NW 8th Ave., 503227-7114.
For more Visual arts listings, visit
Prison at Disjecta
BEST PORTLAND ART OF THE YEAR FAVORITE SHOWS AND PIECES FROM 2012. BY R IcHa Rd SPeeR
rspeer@wweek.com
Anywhere Any More Except to Nothing, were fastidiously constructed but had a monolithic appeal. To walk through them was like walking through a maze, a mausoleum or a national memorial.
The Portland art scene lost some important venues in 2012. After mounting some of the strongest shows in recent memory, Victory Gallery closed its doors due to economic necessities. One of the Pacific Northwest’s hippest art and music spaces, Worksound, concluded its visual arts programming, leaving a hole in the artistic soul of the east side. And Launch Pad, a hub for lowbrow art and bohemian socializing, closed when founder Ben Pink moved to Seattle and tried to run the space from afar, but couldn’t make it work. On a positive front, a new art space in the Everett Station Lofts, Cock Gallery, made waves with sexually transgressive work that challenged viewers’ expectations. And after years of sputtering along with promises, promises, promises of great programming to come, YU Contemporary finally began to deliver the goods. As always, this town’s artists continued to wow our eyes and pique our brains with some superb work across diverse media. Here are our picks for Best Visual Art of 2012.
Best conceptual show: Using photography, German artist Marianne Wex’s eponymous exhibition at YU Contemporary thought-provokingly deconstructed gender and body language.
Best show of 2012: In the installation Prison, famed New York-based artist Peter Halley covered Disjecta’s walls with digital prints of his signature prison-bar motif. Lit by acid-green gel lights, the entire space seemed to radiate an eerie, postnuclear glow.
Best work on paper: With gouache and metallic leaf on paper, Eva Speer worked her illusionistic magic in the group show Collider, curated by Jeff Jahn at PSU’s Littman Gallery. Her diptych, Pages From the Book of Lasts I and II, offered a rebuttal to anyone who would claim that painting is no longer relevant.
Best painting: Gleaming, intricate and varied, Tom Cramer’s relief paintings and wood burnings at Laura Russo guided viewers into visual hyperspace, blurring the boundaries between reality, surreality and ecstatic experience. Best photography: Who would have thought photographs of funeral homes could be so beautiful? John Faier’s Queen of Heaven at Blue Sky showed that tacky sofas, gaudy chandeliers and death can make for a ravishing memento mori. Best sculpture: At Elizabeth Leach, painter Joe Thurston turned his focus to sculpture. The cratelike boxes in his exhibition, Nothing Leading
Best installation (tie): Wid Chambers thrillingly transformed his namesake gallery with Arc Volant. Flying buttresses in pristine white stretched from one corner of the gallery to the other, creating an atmosphere that felt both futuristic and primordial. It took some time for viewers’ eyes to adjust to the inky darkness that Laura Fritz employed in her installation Entorus, inside a project space on Northwest Hoyt Street. By judicious use of darkness, light and mysterious forms, she created a minimalist tour de force. Best mixed media: At Elizabeth Leach, Bay Area artist Gregg Renfrow used polymer, pigment and cast acrylic to create supersaturated washes of color. The hues layered atop one another, leaving goopy, stalactitelike drips at the bottom of each piece.
Best glass: If you had a calendar in which your mood on every day of the year was represented by a color, it would probably look like Mel George’s Frame of Time at Bullseye. This is what the Australian artist has always done best: employ materials to remind us of the fleeting preciousness of time. Best museum show: Curated by Bruce Guenther at the Portland Art Museum, the exhibition Mark Rothko offered a lavish and thoughtful overview of Rothko’s artistic development, culminating in his ascendancy into the pantheon of abstract expressionism. Willamette Week DECEMBER 26, 2012 wweek.com
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BOOKS
REVIEW
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december 31 st
@ the hawthorne theatre! Go to wweek.com/promotions
THE BEST THING I READ THIS YEAR AS TOLD BY WW EDITORS AND LOCAL AUTHORS. Flight Behavior, by Barbara Kingsolver. This novel is such a good read, funny, generous, unpredictable, that it took me a while to realize how stunningly intelligent and brave it is. It talks about “global warming” the way Uncle Tom’s Cabin talked about slavery—not as some abstract problem, but as what’s going on right now—what we are doing. Beautiful, and tremendous. —Ursula K. Le Guin, author of the Earthsea and Hainish fantasy series On tour this summer, driving the vast empty landscapes of the Western United States, I listened to War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy—downloaded from Audible.com and read by the English actor Neville Jason. I have never felt so ensnared in the architecture of a book. But—on an entirely different stylistic note—I just finished local writer Michael Heald’s Goodbye to the Nervous Apprehension. It’s absolutely terrific! —Pauls Toutonghi, author of Evel Knievel Days I read Sheila Heti’s How Should a Person Be? on the bus to Vancouver, B.C. Somewhere around Olympia I realized that if I couldn’t pace myself I’d finish it before the border. Fuck it, I yelled at the Tacoma Dome, and opened the book back up. It turned me on, it turned me off, it challenged everything I thought I knew about women and nonfiction. —Michael Heald, author of Goodbye to the Nervous Apprehension State of Wonder, by Ann Patchett. Patchett has a penchant for dragging her readers into hell— beautiful, emotional hell. Mirroring the tale of Orpheus and Eurydice, her State of Wonder takes pharmaceutical researcher Marina Singh to the Amazon to retrieve her missing co-worker. The results are tragic, fascinating and truly wondrous. —Penelope Bass, WW books page editor Coeur de Lion, by Ariana Reines. An epistolary book full of startling moments and bare-ass naked truth by a rising star of poetry. It’s actually kind of shocking, the way it unfolds its raunchy, sexy, angry, confessional beauty. —Kevin Sampsell, author of A Common Pornography 38
Willamette Week DECEMBER 26, 2012 wweek.com
The book that was my steadfast companion in 2012 was David Lynch’s Catching the Big Fish. It was wonderful encouragement for my nascent meditation practice, a splendid (and splendidly succinct) memoir of an artist I admire, and served as the fascinating director’s commentary to Twin Peaks. —Viva Las Vegas, author of Magic Gardens: The Memoirs of Viva Las Vegas Spitalfields Life: In the Midst of Life I Woke to Find Myself Living in an Old House Beside Brick Lane in the East End of London is a physically gorgeous book by an indefatigable blogger known only as “The Gentle Author,” chronicling everything from a fourth-generation paper-bag seller to a freelance wheel truer—it’s an absolute labor of love and curiosity. —Paul Collins, author of Murder of the Century Rain Dragon, by Jon Raymond. Raymond is one of those writers whose work I always enjoy. He’s interested in interesting things. In this case he wrote a book about Oregon commune life, and it’s told by a hapless first-person narrator. It’s funny and thought provoking. —Arthur Bradford, author of Benny’s Brigade and Dogwalker. I haven’t read any brand-, brand-new books this year, but two of the newest were both excellent and locally produced. Zazen, by Vanessa Veselka, is an incendiary portrait of a woman living out the radical ideals of late Liberalism with intense poetry and rage. And Ablutions, by Patrick DeWitt, is a bilious romp through Los Angeles’ dark hours guided by a narrator of true depravity and wit. —Jon Raymond, author of Rain Dragon and Livability. If I had to pick one, I’d pick Carole Maso’s Mother and Child. In the words of Emily Dickinson, it blew the top of my head off. Breaking all the rules that keep realism and surrealism separate from one another, the narrative, like the bond between mother and child, radically form, deform and reform being and knowing. —Lidia Yuknavitch, author of Dora: A Headcase and The Chronology of Water.
dec. 26 – Jan. 1
Alamar
B+ [ONE NIGHT ONLY] A docu-
mentary with traces of fictionalized structure, Alamar is not expressly a children’s movie—but you should take thoughtful kids, assuming they can speak Spanish, or can read, or you promise to whisper the subtitles to them very quietly, so as not to break the movie’s spell. (The words are few and simple: The title, for example, means “to the sea.”) Pedro GonzálezRubio’s brief movie (just 73 minutes!) follows a tiny boy, Natan Machado Palombini, as he goes to live with his father and grandfather in a fishing shack on wooden stilts above the Banco Chinchorro atoll reef off the Caribbean coast of Mexico. The three males spear lobsters, eat fried barracuda and feed scraps to a crocodile that lives, terrifyingly, under the house. There is also an egret, which Natan names Blanquita, feeds roaches and takes as a kind of sister. It’s hard to say how much of this is documentary: The men may to some degree be playing roles in the story of fatherhood in an impossibly bucolic setting. But then the bird may not be a girl, either. It doesn’t matter. The bird is a bird. And it might be best, for once, to overlook adult questions and enjoy. To the sea! AARON MESH. NW Film Center’s Whitsell Auditorium. 5 pm Sunday, Dec. 30. Includes admission to Who’s Camus, Anyway? at 6:45 pm.
Argo
A- Ben Affleck has taken what others
would have turned into farce and emerged with one of the year’s best pictures. R. AP KRYZA. Living Room Theaters.
Be With Me
[ONE NIGHT ONLY] A Singaporean drama that weaves together three tales about love, hope and destiny. NW Film Center’s Whitsell Auditorium. 9 pm Saturday, Dec. 29. Includes admission to The Piano in a Factory at 7 pm.
The Big Picture
C+ In The Big Picture successful French lawyer Paul Exben (Romain Duris) slowly takes on the name and identity of the worthless trust-fund brat who stole the one thing Exben actually cared about: the affection of his wife, Sarah. But the shifty, ratfaced self-loathing that made Sarah slowly despise him works a similarly uneasy magic on the viewer. He’s a detestable self-victimizer ruined even by success. Metaphorically, it’s gorgeous: When you feel yourself to be an impostor, success is the greatest fear. In the person of Exben, though, it is a tedious grind to watch the screw turn still further, through consequence-free violence and into the film’s sunniest moment: the main character’s departure. MATTHEW KORFHAGE. Living Room Theaters.
The Central Park Five
A Ken Burns has spent over 20 years
documenting American history in bitesize chunks, homing in on one subject after another with keen alacrity. In all that time, though, Burns has touched on issues such as racism and poverty only at a decades-long remove. So to see the filmmaker’s name associated with a documentary recounting one of the most horrendous miscarriages of justice in recent memory is frankly a little shocking. To Burns’ credit, he rises to the challenge admirably. He and co-directors Sarah Burns (his daughter) and David McMahon throw into stark relief the fates of five young men coerced into confessing their guilt in the assault and rape of “The Central Park Jogger” in 1989. Through recent interviews with all five men, their families, lawyers and former New York City mayors Ed Koch and David Dinkins, the incident is given its full historical weight. Even though their convictions were overturned 13 years later, the joy of that news was rightly tempered with a bittersweetness that reminds
ZEYNOFILM
Editor: REBECCA JACOBSON. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, send screening information at least two weeks in advance to Screen, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Email: rjacobson@wweek.com. Fax: 243-1115.
D I YA H P E R A
FEATURE
= WW Pick. Highly recommended.
viewers of the part we all play in the threadbare social fabric of modern American society. ROBERT HAM. Living Room Theaters.
Cirque du Soleil: Worlds Away
Impossibly flexible acrobats, rendered in 3-D. Not screened for critics. PG. Living Room Theaters, Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Bridgeport, Movies on TV.
the cabin in the woods
Django Unchained
B- Give Quentin Tarantino this much: He’s got balls. Imagine entering a meeting with a major studio and pitching a relentlessly violent, big-budget revenge fantasy about an escaped slave in the pre-Civil War South who slaughters his way through Confederate plantation owners in search of his wife. If nothing else, Django Unchained has audacity going for it. But it raises a question that, ultimately, makes it tough to enjoy: When dredging up the ugliest period of American history for the sake of entertainment, is being cool enough? Because Django Unchained is exceptionally cool. A mashed-up spaghetti Western and blaxploitation flick, it is the kind of kinetic pastiche job that’s made Tarantino a genre unto himself. Why, then, did I leave the theater feeling not exhilarated but empty? Django Unchained trivializes an atrocity, and that makes it hard to digest as fun, frivolous popcorn. Tarantino has taken it upon himself to offer an extreme form of catharsis for immense suffering, but the movie contains little trace of actual empathy. Its staggering runtime—165 minutes—is earned only by its three lead actors. As the sociopath-cum-abolitionist Dr. King Schultz, Christoph Waltz makes Tarantino’s words sing. Jamie Foxx finds a captivating stoicism as Django. And Leonardo DiCaprio, playing a psychotic cloaked in Southern gentility, bites down with rotted teeth into a role of slimy, slithering, utterly unsubtle evil. With Django Unchained, Tarantino has made another monument of cinematic cool. But has he made a responsible film? And does it matter? That, it turns out, is the biggest question of all. R. MATTHEW SINGER. Fox Tower, Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Lloyd Center, Bridgeport, Division, Evergreen Parkway, Hilltop, Pioneer Place, Movies on TV, Sherwood, Tigard, Wilsonville.
The Eye of the Storm
An Australian socialite is on her deathbed, and her troubled children attempt to cash in. Living Room Theaters.
The Forest for the Trees
B+ [ONE NIGHT ONLY] German film-
maker Maren Ade’s debut feature, The Forest for the Trees, is not a film to be viewed alone. Or perhaps it is—Ade’s bleak depiction of a young woman’s social ineptitude, professional shortcomings and wrenching loneliness might be too discomforting to watch with company. The 2003 film centers on Melanie (Eva Löbau), an idealistic 27-year-old who has left her longtime boyfriend for a teaching job in the southwestern German city of Karlsruhe. But Melanie finds herself unable to engage—or even manage— her unruly students. A fifth-grader flings chocolate milk and stains her new blazer; her ninth-graders lambast her insistence on legible handwriting. Things are hardly better at home: Melanie befriends Tina (Daniela Holtz), a neighbor in a stormy relationship, but she quickly mucks it up. Ade painstakingly details each disturbing and excruciating moment, and the quietly gripping atmosphere of desolation is abetted by the docudramastyle performances and camerawork. Have a friend on speed-dial. REBECCA JACOBSON. NW Film Center’s Whitsell Auditorium. 9 pm Friday, Dec. 28. Includes admission to Teddy Bear at 7 pm.
THE WEINSTEIN CO.
MOVIES
once upon a time in anatolia
THE BEST THINGS I SAW THIS YEAR FORGET ABOUT A TOP 10 LIST. HERE ARE THREE TOP THREES. BY ww sta ff
243-2122
2012 has been a busy year on the WW film beat. In April, after five years at the helm, Aaron Mesh moved to the news desk. Matthew Singer replaced him until October, when he became music editor and Rebecca Jacobson took over the beat. And so, we bring you a trio of top threes: the best three films we each viewed during our respective tenures. AARON MESH, January-April 1. Once Upon a Time in Anatolia 2012’s best films—from Looper to Silver Linings Playbook—all touch on the saving supremacy of women. This police procedural on the Turkish steppe makes that case by leaving its men without company or consolation. They search through dust and rot, finding evidence of their own savagery. So the movie’s sole moment of feminine kindness literally shines, like an annunciation. 2. Goodbye First Love While Moonrise Kingdom attempted to preserve the flush of adolescent ardor from the entropy of adulthood, French director Mia Hansen-Løve explored a more painful truth: Growing up means letting the fiercest feelings float gently away. Her movie plays like a female counterpoint to Truffaut’s Adventures of Antoine Doinel, with nearly as many understated agonies and joys. 3. Damsels in Distress Director Whit Stillman returns from a 13-year hiatus with a college comedy that is, blessedly, the least relevant picture of 2012: an ode to soap, repression and inventing ballroom-dance crazes. It feels less like a paean to lost values than a rallying cry for values that never caught on. It stands against our society of maniacal selfishness as a manifesto that protecting shared civilization means being a little crazy.
silver linings playbook
MATTHEW SINGER, April-September 1. The Cabin in the Woods In which Joss Whedon attempts to kill off the horror genre by suffocating it with its own clichés. It didn’t work (see: The Apparition, House at the End of the Street, The Devil Inside, etc.), but he made audiences confront their own expectations. Then, he raised them to wild new heights. 2. Beasts of the Southern Wild A live-action Miyazaki fable, Benh Zeitlin’s postKatrina allegory makes magic out of mud hills, paying homage to those who will fight to the death to protect what they have, even if they don’t appear to have much, and introducing the world to young Quvenzhané Wallis, a pintsize hurricane in rain boots and orange underwear. 3. Killer Joe William Friedkin never had much use for polite society, but now that he’s nearly an octogenarian, the director has become filmdom’s crazy grandpa. Killer Joe is sick and twisted and totally irredeemable, but it is passionate about its depravity, and that makes it hit like a can of pie filling to the head. REBECCA JACOBSON, October-December 1. Silver Linings Playbook Silver Linings Playbook is many things: ropey-dopey romance, offbeat portrait of mental illness, sharp family drama, scrappy ode to eccentricity. But director David O. Russell, aided by magnificently honest (and honestly magnificent) performances from Bradley Cooper and Jennifer Lawrence, makes it all work. From its stars’ discussion of psychotropic drugs to its go-for-broke bizarro dance scene, it’s one of the funniest and most deeply affecting films in years. 2. The Sessions As a 38-year-old polio survivor who seeks to lose his virginity, John Hawkes turns in one of 2012’s most arresting performances. The Sessions has received flak for pulling punches, but in neither gawking at nor glorifying sex, director Ben Lewin gives the power of physical intimacy its due. 3. Lincoln In my short tenure, no film has frustrated me more than Lincoln. But it wriggled its stately, chiaroscuro way into my mind and has remained firmly lodged there since. Though waxy, it captures the most mesmerizing political wheeling and dealing I’ve seen on screen, and Daniel Day-Lewis’ performance is something of genius.
CONT. on page 40 Willamette Week DECEMBER 26, 2012 wweek.com
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dec. 26 – Jan. 1
The Great Match
[ONE NIGHT ONLY] Soccer enthusiasts around the world undertake Herculean quests in order to watch the 2002 World Cup final. NW Film Center’s Whitsell Auditorium. 9 pm Wednesday, Dec. 26. Includes admission to The Violin at 7 pm.
The Guilt Trip
B Seth Rogen has spent much of the past five years trying to come out from under the long shadow of his mentor, Judd Apatow. But only recently has the Canadian actor become truly successful, via a restrained dramatic turn in Sarah Polley’s Take This Waltz, and now in The Guilt Trip, a sweet trifle of a road picture/buddy comedy. The small twist on the formula is that these adventurers are a mother and son. Here, Rogen takes his loving but overbearing mom (a charming, dowdy Barbra Streisand) along for a cross-country ride as he attempts to sell an all-natural cleaning product. The catch is Rogen’s other agenda to reconnect Streisand with a long-lost love. Beyond that, the film sticks close to convention: Tension arises, secrets get revealed, lessons are learned, and a montage or two fly by. The Guilt Trip is cinematic comfort food given some substance by the charming chemistry of its leads and a genuinely heartfelt, affecting interest in strong family bonds. PG-13. ROBERT HAM. Living Room Theaters, Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Bridgeport, Division, Evergreen Parkway, Hilltop, Lloyd Mall, Movies on TV, Sherwood, Tigard, Wilsonville.
Häxan: Witchcraft Through the Ages
[ONE NIGHT ONLY, REVIVAL] A 1922 silent horror film about the hysteria of witch hunts. This version is narrated by William Burroughs. Clinton Street Theater. Midnight Friday, Dec. 28.
Hitchcock
C There’s an inherent danger in pulling back the curtain to reveal the puppeteers behind iconic art. With Hitchcock, rookie director Sacha Gervasi attempts to separate the public persona from the private life of Hitch (Anthony Hopkins) alongside wife Alma Reville (Helen Mirren). Hopkins and Mirren are excellent in their roles, with Mirren offering steely sass and Hopkins adding vulnerability to the legend, but the former Hannibal Lecter has little to work with, and instead of layering his showcase with nuance, he barely rises above caricature. To borrow Hitch’s favorite criticism: “It’s stillborn.” PG-13. AP KRYZA. Fox Tower.
The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey
B+ By the time Peter Jackson wrapped his sterling Lord of the Rings trilogy, audiences had spent nearly 12 hours in Middle Earth, marveling at the dense cinematic landscape. It was only a matter of time before J.R.R. Tolkien’s even more popular—and considerably lighter—novel The Hobbit hit the screen. Yet anyone expecting another LOTR installment or, even worse, The Phantom Hobbit, will be bowled over by the spectacle Jackson has produced. The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey takes his penchant for sprawling panoramic views, large-scale melees and lingering shots of small men gazing into the distance and distills it through the eyes of young Bilbo Baggins (Martin Freeman), prodded into adventure by the wizard Gandalf (a returning Ian McKellen). The mission: join a group of dwarves led by fallen king Thorin (a gruff Richard Armitage) to reclaim their mountain kingdom and its treasures from a gigantic dragon. “All good stories deserve embellishment,” Gandalf tells Bilbo, and it’s safe to say the film delivers in a talltale sense, from a game of wits with snarling cockney trolls to the infamous “Riddles in the Dark” sequence with a never-more-frightening Gollum (motion-captured by Andy Serkis to perfection). After a slow and decidedly kiddie start, The Hobbit moves at the lightning pace of a chase movie intercut with stellar mini-adventures involving orcs astride wolves, gigantic spiders, soaring eagles and reani-
40
mated kings. It’s all anchored firmly by Freeman’s assured performance, which exudes charm and childlike fear. From the little man’s perspective, it all seems new again. PG-13. AP KRYZA. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Bridgeport, Division, Evergreen Parkway, Hilltop, Movies on TV, Pioneer Place, Lloyd Mall, Sherwood, Tigard, Wilsonville.
REVIEW SAM JONES
MOVIES
Hospitalité
[ONE NIGHT ONLY] A comedy of manners set in post-industrialist Japan. NW Film Center’s Whitsell Auditorium. 9:15 pm Thursday, Dec. 27. Includes admission to Human Resources Manager at 7 pm.
Human Resources Manager
B+ [ONE NIGHT ONLY] Human
Resources Manager begins as a film of cynical, comic savagery: A young Romanian worker at Israel’s secondlargest bakery is killed in a suicide bombing but is kept on ice by a local newspaper so they can savage the bakery in print for not even noticing she was dead. The titular human resources manager (played by Mark Ivanir with caustic sadness) must then bury the woman in her homeland for the sake of PR, except that no one in Romania seems to want the body. The latter part of the film is eaten up with a lightly sentimentalized road trip that buries (if quite personably) the kernel of A.B. Yehoshua’s novel A Woman in Jerusalem: The immigrant always goes unclaimed by everyone. MATTHEW KORFHAGE. NW Film Center’s Whitsell Auditorium. 7 pm Thursday, Dec. 27. Includes admission to Hospitalité at 9:15 pm.
Hyde Park on Hudson
B+ Like so many great romances in
history, the affair between Franklin Delano Roosevelt and his cousin began with a timid hand job. At least, that’s how his paramour Daisy (Laura Linney) remembers it. In Hyde Park on Hudson, director Roger Michell brings us the tale of Margaret “Daisy” Suckley’s naughty exploits with distant relative FDR (Bill Murray), who thrills Daisy with wild rides through the woods near his mother’s upstate New York mansion in 1939. Leave it to Murray, though, to make something as icky as incest seem somehow sweet and forgivable. His gaggle of doting ladies are also well cast: Linney’s skittish Daisy darts about with irritating but convincing anxiety; Olivia Williams becomes a ballsy and pragmatic Eleanor Roosevelt; and FDR’s mother (Elizabeth Wilson) is deliciously bitchy. Then into the covetous hubbub waltz the King and Queen of England, on their first visit to America, hoping to convince President Roosevelt to back them in World War II. With the help of rosy quips and a slew of martinis, FDR gets the prudish Brits to loosen up, making his way to the moral of this film: The key is finding happiness in what is, rather than in what should be. Whatever helps you sleep at night, Mr. President. R. EMILY JENSEN. Fox Tower.
Jack Reacher
B- In the opening of this impeccably
timed Tom Cruise vehicle, a sniper in Pittsburgh guns down five apparently random people. Detective Emerson (David Oyelowo) finds a wealth of evidence to convict a former soldier, James Barr (Joseph Sikora). But instead of pleading guilty, Barr scrawls a cryptic note: “Get Jack Reacher.” Reacher (Cruise) is a military copturned-drifter. The character, created by author Lee Childs, was born out of pulp: intimidating, 6-foot-5 and blond, and preternaturally gifted in investigation, krav maga, marksmanship and general ass-kicking. But at some point in the casting process, writerdirector Christopher McQuarrie must have said, “Fuck it, let’s just get Tom Cruise.” When Reacher shows up in the Steel City, he finds himself appointed the lead investigator by Barr’s defense attorney (Rosamund Pike, reduced to little more than looking sexy and growing aroused as Reacher unravels the mysteries of the case). Jack Reacher has some serious moments, including some gruesome hand-tohand combat, but it also has a sense of humor about itself. This is a movie with
Willamette Week DECEMBER 26, 2012 wweek.com
WIndoW of oppoRTunITy: Matt damon plays a corporate salesman with a conscience.
NO LAND OF MILK AND HONEY GUS VAN SANT’S PROMISED LAND WEARS ITS HEART ON ITS WELL-TAILORED SLEEVE. BY r eBecca Jaco Bson
rjacobson@wweek.com
There are shots in Gus Van Sant’s Promised Land that could be mistaken for shots in 1991’s My Own Private Idaho: beautiful pastoral scenes, rolling country roads, the filmmaker’s signature timelapse clouds. But where Idaho evokes Shakespeare in its language and surrealist painting in its dreamlike images, Promised Land sounds a subtler and more humble note. It’s a quiet drama of social and personal heft, about a corporate salesman, Steve (Matt Damon), who travels to small American towns and buys up land to drill for natural gas. But as he goes door to door convincing the blue-collar Pennsylvania townsfolk that natural gas promises an economic windfall, he begins to question his own silver-tongued pitch. It’s a familiar narrative arc—likable corporate villain undergoes crisis of conscience—executed skillfully and sympathetically, though hampered by a few preachy incidents and some dubious plot twists late in the film. And for a picture that’s been billed as a social-issue drama, Promised Land isn’t really about fracking (as the controversial natural gas drilling technique is known). In fact, when Damon and fellow star John Krasinski were writing the screenplay—based on a story by Dave Eggers— they considered a variety of issues for the film’s backdrop. Given Damon’s extensive environmental advocacy, they deemed natural gas a timely issue, and the film not so subtly denounces corruption in the energy industry. But Promised Land is primarily a character drama, albeit with undercurrents of environmental politics and elegiac portrayals of rural struggle. As the central character in that drama, Damon gives a characteristically genuine performance. His character, Steve, is a farm boy turned white-collar salesman who’s just been tapped for a massive promotion. He trills a consistent refrain: “I’m not a bad guy.” But when high-school science teacher—and former Boeing engineer—Frank Yates (a reliably twinkly Hal Holbrook) whips out some damning
data on fracking at a town hall meeting, Steve flails at the microphone. As his associate Sue (Frances McDormand, consistently and likably tart) stares agog, Steve acknowledges that fracking is no miracle cure. But the real trouble arrives in the form of the improbably named Dustin Noble (Krasinski), from the ridiculously named environmental group Superior Athena. Abetted by a pearly grin, cargo pants and a well-worn baseball cap, Dustin immediately launches a campaign to stop Steve and Sue—but only after belting out Springsteen at the local bar. Krasinski is a slightly smarmy charmer who further peeves Steve by snaring pretty elementary schoolteacher Alice (a good-
FOR A PICTuRE THAT’S BILLED AS A SOCIAL-ISSuE DRAMA, PROMISED LAND ISN’T REALLY ABOuT FRACKING. spirited but dramatically superfluous Rosemarie DeWitt). It’s in a presentation in Alice’s classroom that Promised Land comes closest to showing how fracking actually works, as Dustin pours chemicals into a soil-filled Ziploc and then pokes holes in the plastic, causing dirty liquid to spout onto the miniature farm scene below. It’s a delightful little scene. Throughout, Van Sant’s assured direction allows the drama to build quietly, and he cuts in pastoral panoramas that establish a clear sense of place without glorifying it. But Promised Land can’t help but wear its heart on its sleeve, and in the third act succumbs to a cheap shock. In a picture that’s otherwise well acted, well-intentioned and handsomely shot, such late-in-the-game manipulations of storytelling leave a sour taste. Van Sant has called Promised Land his opportunity to make a movie in the spirit of Frank Capra, but the machinations of Damon and Krasinski’s screenplay have done him a disservice. B SEE IT: Promised Land is rated R. It opens Friday at Fox Tower.
dec. 26 – Jan. 1
MOVIES FILM MoVEMEnt
a high-speed car chase between cop cars and modern sedans in which cruise inexplicably drives a ’70s muscle car. the brutal Russian mob is kept in line by the iron fist of an aging former Siberian prisoner (Werner Herzog) with a pronounced German accent and gnawed-off fingers. there are two ways to approach this film: either as a ludicrous vanity picture for an overthe-hill movie star with a serious napoleon complex, or a work of high camp. You may expect the former, but be prepared to cackle at the latter. PG-13. JoHn LocAntHI. Cedar Hills, City Center, Eastport, Clackamas, Lloyd Center, Bridgeport, Division, Evergreen Parkway, Hilltop, Movies on TV, Pioneer Place, Sherwood, Tigard, Wilsonville.
Life of Pi
C Ignore the tiger for a moment. Ang Lee’s Life of Pi is a very simple story with a grandiose backdrop. For much of the film, we’re alone on a lifeboat, in the middle of the Pacific, with a boy and a Bengal. Rendered in sumptuous 3-D, the swoony special effects and churning waves create a palpable sense of motion. But the film, based on Yann Martel’s Booker Prize-winning novel, surrenders the book’s more subtle messages for ham-handed schlock and slack-jawed awe. PG. REBEccA JAcoBSon. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Lloyd Center, Lloyd Mall, Fox Tower, Bridgeport, Division, Evergreen Parkway, Movies on TV, Pioneer Place, Tigard.
Lincoln
B As the 16th president, Daniel Day-
Lewis’ portrayal goes beyond physical likeness: His performance is brilliantly malleable, fully inhabited and deeply transfixing. Focusing on the fight to abolish slavery in the first few months of 1865, Steven Spielberg’s stately drama turns in mesmerizing moments of political wheeling and dealing, as well as blistering debates and brazen name-calling on the House floor. PG-13. REBEccA JAcoBSon. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Fox Tower, Lloyd Center, Bridgeport, Division, Evergreen Parkway, Movies on TV, Tigard.
Madoka Magica
[onE nIGHt onLY] Four hours of Japanese anime. Hollywood Theatre. 7 pm Wednesday, Dec. 26.
Monsters, Inc. 3D
A cash grab, perhaps, but these working-stiff monsters are still adorable. not screened for critics. G. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Bridgeport, Division, Evergreen Parkway, Hilltop, Lloyd Mall, Movies on TV, Pioneer Plae, Sherwood, Tigard, Wilsonville.
New Year’s Day Grindhouse Secret Movie Marathon
[onE DAY onLY, REVIVAL] triple feature of ’70s cinema. Hollywood Theatre. 3 pm Tuesday, Jan. 1.
Now, Forager
C+ When Jason cortlund and Julia
Halperin conceived the premise for Now, Forager, a meandering tale of two mushroom foragers and their doomed love, they might have mistakenly consumed one too many Amanita muscaria, a fungus known for its psychoactive properties. the fleshy, spore-bearing fungi that Lucien (cortlund) and Regina (tiffany Esteb) gather from the forest floor are not without metaphorical significance to their crumbling marriage—the poisonous and parasitic nature of many fungal genera perfectly mirrors Lucien’s gloomy, antagonistic effect on his wife. But the film grows disconnected in its delivery: Regina and Lucien trudge through scenes that lack the feeling that could have brought shape and meaning to their nebulous and obscure story. the only redeeming qualities lie in the educational moments, when Lucien sighs his way through the scientific names of wild mushrooms as they
ALAMAR appear on the screen. Each variety is oddly resplendent and captivating, particularly the Hericium erinaceus, which looks like Santa’s beard growing on a tree, and the “destroying angel,” a slender, snow-white mushroom that can kill a grown man. Sadly, a drama whose strongest moments are still shots of wild fungi can’t exactly be called a cinematic triumph. EMILY JEnSEn. Living Room Theaters.
Parental Guidance
C- Artie Decker (Billy crystal), the
longtime announcer for Fresno’s minor-league baseball team, has just been fired. the aging Decker didn’t post on Facebook or tweet enough to satisfy management. And let’s not even discuss the last time he “hashtagged.” During the screening, an elderly woman sitting behind me snorted and turned to a small child: “I bet you know what all those terms meant,” she said. that, in a nutshell, is the target audience: old people who still find crystal funny and children who don’t know any better. Bette Midler is also here for people who remember the ’80s and early ’90s. Parental Guidance even features a cameo by tony Hawk, the Billy crystal of skateboarding. Upon discovering they’re the second-tier grandparents, Midler and crystal descend upon their daughter’s (Marisa tomei) fully automated household to take care of their quirky grandkids while tomei and her husband are out of town. the two out-of-touch grandparents bond with the kids and learn to become better parents. tired technology jokes aside, this is a fairly pleasant, predictable and feel-good holiday movie. Even a Grinch like me chuckled a few times. PG. JoHn LocAntHI. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Bridgeport, Division, Evergreen Parkway, Hilltop, Movies on TV, Sherwood, Tigard, Wilsonville.
The Piano in a Factory
C+ [onE nIGHt onLY] Divorcing
a distant husband or wife may be easy, but as soon as a child is involved, things get desperate. this, at least, is how chen Guilin’s (Wang Qian-Yuan) story goes. His young daughter is a promising pianist who, given the choice by her separated mother and father, will live with whichever parent can provide a piano. For Guilin’s wife (Hailu Qin), who has taken a shine to a man swindling the public with fake medicine, cash is no problem. But as a steelworker, Guilin has few options to obtain a piano. After a wooden model of a piano and a robbery attempt fail, Guilin turns to a ragtag group of old friends to build his own in a semi-abandoned factory. Russian chanson and folk music feature prominently in the film, and combined with the setting of dingy factories and smokestacks, the mood dial of The Piano in a Factory is turned to bleak. the freshness of the plot and mild humor—Guilan’s friends drunkenly try to steal a school piano—illuminate the dim sights a bit. The Piano in a Factory wants to be gloomy and, frankly, succeeds at it. But while lack of closure can be exhilarating, in The
Piano in a Factory it’s depressingly flat. MItcH LILLIE. NW Film Center’s Whitsell Auditorium. 7 pm Saturday, Dec. 29. Includes admission to Be With Me at 9 pm.
Rise of the Guardians
C As with any successful children’s book, it was only a matter of time before Hollywood set its sights on adapting The Guardians of Childhood series. these novels follow the adventures of the titular defenders—Santa claus, the tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny, among others—as they seek to protect the purity and joy of young people around the globe. And, as you might expect, much of the arch weirdness and fantastical beauty that author William Joyce is known for has been shorn off and replaced with over-the-top humor, blowsy voice acting and a tidy but trite narrative. In the film, the evil Pitch (voiced by Jude Law) threatens to blanket the spirit of the world’s children in blackness, a move that compels the Guardians to join forces and defend their charges. the journey is pleasant enough, thanks to some pretty incredible animation and some surprisingly dark moments. PG. RoBERt HAM. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Bridgeport, Division, Evergreen Parkway, Movies on TV, Sherwood.
Silver Linings Playbook
A- If Frank capra had made an
WWEEKDOTCOM WWEEKDOTCOM WWEEKDOTCOM WWEEKDOTCOM
R-rated flick for the Prozac generation, it would look like this. David o. Russell’s film follows the social reacclimation of Philly schoolteacher Pat (Bradley cooper), who is institutionalized after beating his wife’s lover half to death. Pat forms an unlikely relationship with widow tiffany (Jennifer Lawrence), who doggedly tries to win his affections. As a family drama, Silver Linings is top tier. As a romance, it’s blissfully unconventional. And as a foulmouthed ode to classic Hollywood, well, capra would have fucking approved. R. AP KRYZA. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Calckamas, Bridgeport, Evergreen Parkway.
Skyfall
A- Skyfall brilliantly maintains the
gritty modernist aesthetic of Casino Royale while injecting elements that were largely absent in that installment, including gadgetry, sass and humor. As Bond, Daniel craig brings a hard-edged cockiness and wellearned swagger in one of the year’s most crackling adventure films. PG13. AP KRYZA. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Fox Tower, Lloyd Center, Bridgeport, Evergreen Parkway, Sherwood, Tigard.
Spaghetti Fest: Euro Mystery/Horror Night
[onE nIGHt onLY, REVIVAL] this double feature includes A Lizard in a Woman’s Skin, an Italian psychodrama featuring eviscerated canines, and the Spanish zombie flick Let Sleeping Corpses Lie. Clinton Street Theater. 7 pm Sunday, Dec. 30.
cont. on page 42
page 45 Willamette Week DECEMBER 26, 2012 wweek.com
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dec. 26 – Jan. 1
Spaghetti Fest: Euro Western Night
[ONE NIGHT ONLY, REVIVAL] A double feature of classic spaghetti Westerns: Enzo G. Castellari’s Any Gun Can Play and Paolo Bianchini’s Gatling Gun. Clinton Street Theater. 7 pm Saturday, Dec. 29.
Spaghetti Fest: Euro Spy Night
[ONE NIGHT ONLY, REVIVAL] Like a wannabe James Bond, CIA special agent Dick Malloy beds babes and fends off murderous henchmen. This double feature includes Mission Bloody Mary and From the Orient with Fury. Clinton Street Theater. 7 pm Friday, Dec. 28.
Teddy Bear
[ONE NIGHT ONLY] A Danish film about a shy bodybuilder seeking true love. NW Film Center’s Whitsell Auditorium. 7 pm Friday, Dec. 28. Includes admission to The Forest for the Trees at 9 pm.
and the silhouettes of soldiers and agave plants against the sunset. No one likes to be preached to, and there is potential in this topic for obnoxious moralism. Thankfully, The Violin doesn’t succumb. Conveying its political message subtly yet profoundly is The Violin’s high note. MITCH LILLIE. NW Film Center’s Whitsell Auditorium. 7 pm Saturday, Dec. 29. Includes admission to Be With Me at 9 pm.
Who’s Camus, Anyway?
B [ONE NIGHT ONLY] Who’s
Camus, Anyway? (2005), the most recent film from parsimonious director Mitsuo Yanagimachi (God Speed You! Black Emperor), is a deceptively complex little number that looks at first like a Japanese Dawson’s Creek about a pack of high-minded college brats making a movie. Slowly, though, as the film-
within-a-film bleeds into the characters’ lives and vice versa, the film reveals its true stripes as a formal think piece on the nature of identity, reality and fantasy. The students enact a long series of halfcomical imitations, from hip-hop dance to scenes from films. The long tracking shot at the beginning of Camus is itself an imitation: an homage to Orson Welles’ Touch of Evil that is made explicit by the film’s characters themselves. But as with any number of formal pieces, Yanagimachi’s film is also affected by an endless froideur that makes the film impervious to emotion. It remains nonetheless a lovely little metaphysical puzzle box, if often awkwardly rendered. MATTHEW KORFHAGE. NW Film Center’s Whitsell Auditorium. 6:45 pm Sunday, Dec. 30. Includes admission to Alamar at 5 pm.
REVIEW L Au R I E S PA R H A M
MOVIES
This Is 40
Willamette Week urges you to GIVE!
B Judd Apatow’s latest undertaking revisits Pete (Paul Rudd) and Debbie (Leslie Mann), the churlish yet lovable couple first introduced in Knocked Up. The story picks up a few years after that rom-com, and though its tagline suggests otherwise, it’s not even “sort of” a sequel. Seth Rogen and Katherine Heigl are nowhere to be found, nor is there any mention of their characters. The hilariously fiery dynamic between Pete and Debbie, however, is here in full force. Pete and Debbie are turning 40 within a week of each other, and both make the middleaged years look absolutely terrifying. Their lives are a depressing stew of resentment, regret and unfulfilling sex, all conveyed through sarcastic hyperbole. Pete, on the verge of losing his record label, spends his days cowering on the toilet, playing Words With Friends on his iPad, until Debbie inevitably sniffs him out and swoops in to blast him with a round of emotional blackmail. Though Apatow’s souped-up potty humor and fantastic cast keep the laughs coming from start to finish, This Is 40 at times frustrates in its insistence to be, well, just a movie about turning 40. Still, Apatow brings us close enough to Pete and Debbie that anyone can see a piece of themselves in their choppy love life. It may not work out so happily for everyone, but damn if This Is 40 doesn’t make it seem possible. R. EMILY JENSEN. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Lloyd Center, Bridgeport, Division, Evergreen Parkway, Hilltop, Movies on TV, Sherwood, Tigard, Wilsonville.
A Very Wes Anderson Christmas
[ONE WEEK ONLY, REVIVAL] Your Christmas gifts were crap? At least you’re not in love with your adopted sister. Cinema 21 screens Bottle Rocket, Rushmore and The Royal Tenenbaums, all in 35 mm. Cinema 21. Various showtimes WednesdaySunday, Dec. 26-30.
The Violin
A- [ONE NIGHT ONLY] One-handed
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Willamette Week DECEMBER 26, 2012 wweek.com
violinist Plutarco, his guitar-playing son, Genaro, and his grandson Lucio seem to be poor, itinerant musicians, traveling through the mountains of an unnamed country— probably Mexico—to play in a nearby town. But when Genaro (Gerardo Taracena) starts passing out strange tokens, collecting money and examining assault rifles, it’s clear the three are involved in something more insidious than music. Their village evacuated by a violent army contingent, the members of the resistance movement have to find their way to a secret stash of ammunition for an upcoming showdown. Winning over the army captain with his music, the elderly Plutarco (Ángel Tavira) is the only one with a chance to enter the village and keep the resistance movement alive. Francisco Vargas’ 2007 film has beautiful cinematography and is shot in black-and-white, which works to draw out the sunbeaten wrinkles on Plutarco’s face
laboring for the baby: anne hathaway toils away.
LES MISÉRABLES More of a nightmare than a dream.
Tom Hooper’s Les Misérables lives up to its name. With the exception of about 10 minutes, the nearly three-hour film is an endless wallow in the fields of squalor, filth, chancre and herpes. Les Miz is an ’80s French musical derived from Victor Hugo’s humanitarian novel of the same name. Hugo’s novel, already a doorstop weepie, is in musical form a bathetic pressure washer loaded with human tears. In Hooper’s (The King’s Speech) loose directorial grip, this water cannon jerks itself around as in an old Looney Tunes cartoon, spraying the world with salty liquid. As the saintly thief-gone-noble Jean Valjean pursued by the relentless Javert (Russell Crowe) through the streets of 19thcentury France, Hugh Jackman is a terrifically convincing physical presence. But he is hobbled by Hooper’s decision to have the actors sing every line. Jackman is more a song-and-dance man than a balladeer, and his trilling over-enunciation bleeds his character of any possible nuance. Crowe, likewise, sounds less like a punctilious follower of the law than a bar-band bellower who needs a drink. It’s the film’s faithfulness to the musical that does it in. Despite some expensive-looking overhead shots of degraded French life, Hooper’s epic film is smaller in scope than the stage it came from: It is centered doggedly on the suffering found in a human face. In the case of Anne Hathaway as the dying prostitute Fantine, this is a wise decision. She becomes a Jeanne D’Arc figure, ruined and beatific, sobbingly and haltingly wresting “I Dreamed a Dream” from Susan Boyle with the imperfections of her rendition (the actors sang live on film, with a sometimes grating pitchiness). But when a musical is adapted to the more-human-than-human scale of the filmic close-up, it succeeds transcendentally or not at all. About halfway through Les Miz, the movie’s entire world orgasms with one giant money note shared by the entire cast. But after this, it continues hammering flaccidly away for over an hour, long past when we’ve lost interest and are approaching disgust. Les Miz is, more than anything, painfully obvious Oscar bait. In shooting relentlessly for a statuette, Hooper makes all of humanity into much the same thing: heavy and small, shining on the surface but just plain dead on the inside. MATTHEW KORFHAGE. D see it. Les Misérables is rated PG-13. It’s playing at Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Lloyd Center, Lloyd Mall, Fox Tower, Moreland, Bridgeport, Division, Evergreen Parkway, Tigard.
MOVIES
DEC. 28 – JAN. 3
WILLAMETTE WEEK’S
DISNEY
BREWVIEWS
LEVEL UP: In Rich Moore’s entertaining Wreck-It Ralph, John C. Reilly voices the title character, a villain in an 8-bit arcade game. Ralph isn’t a villain; he’s just gets tossed in the mud every day and can never win a medal. The film opens with Ralph in a support group for villains, including Bowser, Zangief and Clyde from Pac-Man—a few of many cameos by beloved game characters. Ralph’s irrepressible need for validation leads him into an Area 51-style shooter game before culminating in a high-speed race through the colorful candy world of Sugar Rush. You don’t need to know much about old games to enjoy this funny and touching film, but it rewards those who do. JOHN LOCANTHI. Showing at: Laurelhurst. Best paired with: Sierra Nevada Celebration. Also showing: The Sessions (Hollywood). ODYSSEY Wed 02:00, 07:00
Century 16 Cedar Hills Lloyd Center 10 and IMAX
1510 NE Multnomah St., 800-326-3264 THE HOBBIT: AN UNEXPECTED JOURNEY 3D Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 12:30, 04:35, 08:35 LES MISÉRABLES Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:45, 03:25, 07:05, 10:40 DJANGO UNCHAINED FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:30, 01:00, 03:05, 05:00, 06:50, 09:00, 10:30 JACK REACHER Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 12:40, 03:55, 07:15, 10:20 THIS IS 40 Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:00, 03:15, 06:40, 10:05 LIFE OF PI 3D Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 12:50, 04:25, 07:25, 10:25 LINCOLN Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:40, 03:00, 06:30, 09:55 SKYFALL Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 12:20, 03:45, 07:00, 10:15
Regal Division Street Stadium 13 16603 SE Division St., 800-326-3264 LES MISÉRABLES FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:30, 03:10, 04:15, 06:45, 07:45, 10:20 PARENTAL GUIDANCE Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 11:40, 02:15, 04:45, 07:20, 09:55 JACK REACHER Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 12:20, 03:30, 07:15, 10:15 THE HOBBIT: AN UNEXPECTED JOURNEY 3D Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:40, 05:00, 06:35, 09:30, 10:10 THE HOBBIT: AN UNEXPECTED JOURNEY Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-TueWed 12:00, 03:45, 07:30 DJANGO UNCHAINED Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:45, 02:35, 03:20, 06:30, 07:00, 10:00, 10:30 THIS IS 40 Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-TueWed 12:30, 04:20, 07:25, 10:25 MONSTERS, INC. Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 02:00 MONSTERS, INC. 3D Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:30, 04:30, 07:05, 09:50 RISE OF THE GUARDIANS Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:55, 02:20 LIFE OF PI
3D Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-TueWed 12:05 LINCOLN Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:10, 03:25, 06:40, 09:55 THE GUILT TRIP Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:15, 02:40, 05:05, 07:35, 10:05 THE TWILIGHT SAGA: BREAKING DAWN PART 2 Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:50
Century 16 Eastport Plaza
4040 SE 82nd Ave., 800-326-3264-952 THE TWILIGHT SAGA: BREAKING DAWN PART 2 Fri-Sun-Mon-Tue 07:25, 10:15 LINCOLN Fri-SunMon-Tue 11:10, 02:25, 05:40, 09:10 SKYFALL Fri-Sun-Mon-Tue 12:20, 03:40, 06:55, 10:05 LIFE OF PI Fri-Sun-Mon-Tue 11:05, 05:00 LIFE OF PI 3D Fri-Sun-Mon-Tue 02:05, 08:00 RISE OF THE GUARDIANS Fri-Sun-MonTue 11:20, 02:00, 04:50 SILVER LININGS PLAYBOOK Fri-Sun-Mon 11:00, 01:45, 04:30, 07:20, 10:10 THE HOBBIT: AN UNEXPECTED JOURNEY Fri-Sun-Mon-Tue 01:30, 05:30, 09:30 THE HOBBIT: AN UNEXPECTED JOURNEY 3D Fri-Sun-MonTue 11:30, 03:30, 07:30 MONSTERS, INC. Fri-SunMon-Tue 01:55 MONSTERS, INC. 3D Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue 11:15, 04:35, 07:15, 09:40 LES MISÉRABLES Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 11:40, 03:20, 07:00, 10:30 THE GUILT TRIP Fri-Sun-MonTue 11:35, 02:10, 04:45, 07:10, 09:35 THIS IS 40 Fri-Sun-Mon-Tue 12:45, 03:50, 07:15, 10:30 JACK REACHER Fri-Sun-MonTue 12:30, 03:45, 07:00, 10:20 CIRQUE DU SOLEIL: WORLDS AWAY Fri-SunMon 11:00 CIRQUE DU SOLEIL: WORLDS AWAY 3D Fri-Sun-Mon-Tue 01:25, 04:00, 06:25, 09:00 DJANGO UNCHAINED Fri-Sun-Mon 11:00, 12:45, 02:40, 04:30, 06:30, 08:15, 10:20 PARENTAL GUIDANCE Fri-Sun-Mon 11:05, 01:40, 04:25, 07:05, 09:45 2001: A SPACE
3200 SW Hocken Ave., 800-326-3264-984 LINCOLN Fri-Sat-SunMon 12:45, 04:00, 07:15, 10:30 SKYFALL Fri-SatSun-Mon 10:25 LIFE OF PI Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon 10:40, 01:35, 04:30, 07:25 RISE OF THE GUARDIANS FriSat-Sun-Mon 10:20 SILVER LININGS PLAYBOOK FriSat-Sun-Mon 11:20, 02:05, 04:50, 07:35, 10:20 THE HOBBIT: AN UNEXPECTED JOURNEY Fri-Sat-SunMon 11:45, 03:25, 07:05, 10:45 THE HOBBIT: AN UNEXPECTED JOURNEY 3D Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon 10:00, 01:40, 05:20, 09:00 MONSTERS, INC. 3D FriSat-Sun-Mon 10:05, 12:25, 02:45, 05:05, 07:25, 09:45 LES MISÉRABLES Fri-SatSun-Mon 10:15, 11:05, 12:00, 01:45, 03:30, 05:15, 07:00, 08:45, 10:30 THE GUILT TRIP Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon 10:00, 12:25, 02:50, 05:15, 07:40, 10:05 THIS IS 40 Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon 10:15, 01:15, 02:45, 04:15, 05:45, 07:15, 08:50, 10:15 JACK REACHER Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon 11:00, 01:55, 04:50, 07:45, 10:40 CIRQUE DU SOLEIL: WORLDS AWAY Fri-SatSun-Mon 12:40 CIRQUE DU SOLEIL: WORLDS AWAY 3D Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon 10:20, 03:00, 05:20, 07:40, 10:00 DJANGO UNCHAINED FriSat-Sun-Mon 10:05, 12:00, 01:45, 03:35, 05:25, 07:15, 09:00, 10:45 PARENTAL GUIDANCE Fri-Sat-SunMon 10:00, 12:25, 02:55, 05:25, 07:55, 10:25
Regal Cinemas Bridgeport Village Stadium 18 & IMAX
7329 SW Bridgeport Road, 800-326-3264 LES MISÉRABLES FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 10:30, 11:30, 02:15, 03:15, 06:00, 07:00, 09:30, 10:30 PARENTAL GUIDANCE Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-TueWed 10:50, 12:05, 01:45, 03:25, 04:25, 06:55, 09:50 DJANGO UNCHAINED Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-TueWed 10:45, 11:45, 02:45, 03:45, 06:45, 07:45, 10:45 CIRQUE DU SOLEIL:
WORLDS AWAY Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 01:20 JACK REACHER Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 10:40, 01:40, 04:40, 06:40, 07:40, 09:40, 10:40 THIS IS 40 Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 11:35, 03:35, 06:50, 10:00 CIRQUE DU SOLEIL: WORLDS AWAY 3D Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-TueWed 10:55, 04:05, 06:35, 09:15 THE GUILT TRIP Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:10, 01:50, 04:30, 07:15, 09:55 MONSTERS, INC. 3D Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-TueWed 11:20, 04:45, 07:25, 10:05 MONSTERS, INC. Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 02:05 THE HOBBIT: AN UNEXPECTED JOURNEY Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 01:00, 05:00, 09:00 THE HOBBIT: AN UNEXPECTED JOURNEY 3D Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 11:00, 03:00, 07:05, 10:55 LIFE OF PI 3D Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 07:20, 10:50 RISE OF THE GUARDIANS Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 10:35, 01:15, 03:50 SILVER LININGS PLAYBOOK Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 12:50, 03:40, 06:30, 09:35 SKYFALL Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:15, 03:20, 07:10, 09:45 LINCOLN Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 11:05, 02:30, 06:20, 10:25
Century at Clackamas Town Center and XD
Sports • Gear Resorts • Destinations
12000 SE 82nd Ave., 800-326-3264-996 THE TWILIGHT SAGA: BREAKING DAWN PART 2 Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 10:20 LINCOLN Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue 11:55, 03:30, 07:05, 10:25 SKYFALL Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 07:20, 10:40 LIFE OF PI Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 04:10, 10:10 LIFE OF PI 3D Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 01:10, 07:15 RISE OF THE GUARDIANS Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue 11:15, 01:50, 04:35 SILVER LININGS PLAYBOOK Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 10:50, 01:45, 04:40, 07:35, 10:35 THE HOBBIT: AN UNEXPECTED JOURNEY Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 10:10, 02:00, 05:45, 09:30 THE HOBBIT: AN UNEXPECTED JOURNEY 3D Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue 11:25, 03:10, 07:00, 10:45 MONSTERS, INC. Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 11:05 MONSTERS, INC. 3D Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 01:40, 04:25, 07:10, 09:50 LES MISÉRABLES Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 11:40, 03:20, 07:00, 10:30 THE GUILT TRIP Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 12:00, 02:40, 05:15, 07:45, 10:15 THIS IS 40 Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue 10:00, 11:20, 01:05, 02:35, 04:15, 05:50, 07:25, 09:05, 10:35 JACK REACHER Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue 10:05, 01:10, 04:20, 07:30, 10:40 CIRQUE DU SOLEIL: WORLDS AWAY Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon 10:15 CIRQUE DU SOLEIL: WORLDS AWAY 3D FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue 12:40, 03:05, 05:30, 07:55, 10:20 DJANGO UNCHAINED FriSat-Sun-Mon 10:15, 11:30, 01:55, 03:15, 05:40, 07:05, 09:35, 10:45 PARENTAL GUIDANCE Fri-Sat-SunMon 10:20, 11:45, 01:00, 02:25, 03:45, 05:05, 06:30, 07:50, 09:15, 10:30 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY Wed 02:00, 07:00
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CLASSIFIEDS DIRECTORY
DECEMBER 26, 2012
44 WELLNESS
44 JOBS
45 JONESIN’
45 SERVICES
45 PETS
45 MOTOR
45 RENTALS & REAL ESTATE
45
45 BULLETIN BOARD
45 MUSICIANS’ MARKET
46 MATCHMAKER
47
TO PLACE AN AD CONTACT:
STUFF
ASHLEE HORTON
503-445-3647 • ahorton@wweek.com
SERVICE DIRECTORY
TRACY BETTS
503-445-2757 • tbetts@wweek.com
WELLNESS
JOBS
BODYWORK
CAREER TRAINING AIRLINE CAREERS
MANSCAPING
Bodyhair grooming M4M. Discrete quality service. 503-841-0385 by appointment.
HOME CARPET CLEANING SW Steampro 503-268-2821
www.steamprocarpetcleaners.com
COMPUTER REPAIR NE Portland Mac Tech 25 SE 62nd Ave. Portland, Oregon 97213 503-998-9662
STYLE
1012 SE 96th Ave. Portland, Oregon 97216 503-255-2988 Next to Target (Mall 205)
HOME IMPROVEMENT SW Jill Of All Trades 6905 SW 35th Ave. Portland, Oregon 97219 503-244-0753
PROPERTY MANAGEMENT SW JMPDX LLC 1505 SW 6th #8155 Portland, Oregon 97207 503-730-5464
TREE SERVICE NE Steve Greenberg Tree Service 1925 NE 61st Ave. Portland, Oregon 97213 503-774-4103
AUDIO SE
Inner Sound
1416 SE Morrison Street Portland, Oregon 97214 503-238-1955 www.inner-sound.com
CELL PHONE REPAIR N Revived Cellular & Technology 7816 N. Interstate Ave. Portland, Oregon 97217 503-286-1527 www.revivedcellular.com
44
Totally Relaxing Massage
COUNSELING
Featuring Swedish, deep tissue and sports techniques by a male therapist. Conveniently located, affordable, and preferring male clientele at this time. #5968 By appointment Tim 503.575.0356
SEWING & ALTERATIONS N Spiderweb Sewing Studio
MASSAGE (LICENSED) Skilled, Male LMT
503-750-6586 spiderwebsewingstudio@gmail.com 7204 N. Leonard St Portland, Or 97203
GADGET SE Gadget Fix
Massage openings in the Mt. Tabor area. Call Jerry for info. 503-757-7295. LMT6111.
call
Massage with medical essential oils great for stress, inflammation and strengthening the immune system
AUTO COLLISION REPAIR NE Atomic Auto
Monday–Saturday, 9–6:
ELIXIA WELLNESS
2510 NE Sandy Blvd Portland, Or 97232 503-969-3134 www.atomicauto.biz
503.232.5653
Sundays: COMMON
503-839-7222 3642 N. Farragut Portland, Or 97217 moneymone1@gmail.com
KEN (LMT#10773) nowradiance.wordpress.com
Counseling Individuals, Couples and Groups Relationships, Life Transitions, Personal Growth
WillametteWeek Classifieds DECEMBER 26, 2012 wweek.com
• Strength Training • Body Shaping • Nutrition Counseling AT THE GYM, OR IN YOUR HOME
503-252-6035 www.billpecfitness.com
ALTERNATIVE MEDICINE
OMMP Resource Center Providing Safe Access to Medicine
Affordable Rates • No-cost Initial Consult www.stephenshostek.com
Valid MMJ Card Holders Only No Membership Dues or Door Fees
Gambling Too Much?
“Simply the Best Meds”
503-963-8600
Free, confidential help is available statewide. Call 1-877-MY-LIMIT to talk to a certified counselor 24/7 or visit 1877mylimit.org to chat live with a counselor. We are not here to judge. We are here to help. You can get your life back.
www.rosecitywellnesscenter.com
GENDER IDENTITY COUNSELING B.J. (Barbara) SEYMOUR Enjoy all that you are,
WWEEK.COM
Personal Trainer & Independent Contractor
503.238.1065
Stephen Shostek, CET
HAULING N LJ Hauling
from home. *Medical, *Business, *Criminal Justice, *Hospitality. Job placement assistance. Computer available. Financial Aid if qualified. SCHEV authorized. Call 800-481-9472 www.CenturaOnline.com (AAN CAN)
GENERAL BARTENDING
$$300/day potential. No experience necessary. Training available. 800-965-6520 x206.
BILL PEC
GROUND WELLNESS
AUTO REPAIR SE Family Auto Network
503-919-1022 alienbox.com
ATTEND COLLEGE ONLINE
PHYSICAL FITNESS
Interior & Exterior 503-646-8359 CCB #100360
Alienbox LLC
Charles
Become an Aviation Maintenance Tech. FAA approved training. Financial aid if qualified - Housing available. Job placement assistance. CALL Aviation Institute of Maintenance 877-492-3059 (AAN CAN)
lmt#6250
SW S. Mike Klobas Painting
MOVING
REL A X!
INDULGE YOURSELF in an - AWESOME FULL BODY MASSAGE
503-740-5120
PAINTING
1348 SE 82nd Ave. Portland, Oregon 97216 503-254-2886 www.FamilyAutoNetwork.com
FREE WILL ASTROLOGY
Be all that you want to be.
503-228-2472
MORE ADS ONLINE @ WWEEK.COM
www.ExtrasOnly.com 503.227.1098 Help Wanted!!
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EMPLOYMENT OPPORTUNITIES EARN $500 A DAY. Airbrush & Media Makeup Artists For: Ads - TV - Film Fashion Train & Build Portfolio in 1 week Lower Tuition for 2012. AwardMakeupSchool.com (AAN CAN) $$$HELP WANTED$$$ Extra Income! Assembling CD cases from Home! No Experience Necessary! Call our Live Operators Now! 1-800-405-7619 EXT 2450 www.easywork-greatpay.com (AAN CAN)
TO PLACE AN AD CONTACT:
ASHLEE HORTON
503-445-3647 • ahorton@wweek.com
TRACY BETTS
Jonesin’ by Matt Jones “spellbound”–if it sounds good, do it!
503-445-2757 • tbetts@wweek.com
SERVICES
MOTOR
BUILDING/REMODELING
GENERAL
BULLETIN BOARD WILLAMETTE WEEK’S GATHERING PLACE NON-PROFIT DISCOUNTS AVAILABLE.
“Atomic Auto New School Technology, Old School Service” www.atomicauto.biz mention you saw this ad in WW and receive 10% off for your 1st visit!
AUTOS WANTED CASH FOR CARS: Any Car/Truck. Running or Not! Top Dollar Paid. We Come To You! Call For Instant Offer: 1-888-420-3808 www.cash4car.com (AAN CAN)
ROOMMATE SERVICES
MILLS HANDYMAN AND REMODELING 503-245-4397. Free Estimate. Affordable, Reliable. Insured/Bonded. CCB#121381
HOME THEATER & AUDIO 51 Suffix after real, in the U.K. 53 Spider’s egg case 55 How quickly pachyderms get seen at the hospital? 58 Nobel Peace Prize city 62 How pasta may be prepared 63 Help save people, like a trained dog? 65 Singer Carly ___ Jepsen 66 “CNN Headline News” anchor Virginia 67 Source of Pablo Escobar’s wealth 68 When an airplane’s scheduled to take off: abbr. 69 Azerbaijan, once: abbr. 70 Beat but good Down 1 “Hey, over here!” 2 Amy of “Dollhouse” 3 Tabloid photographer, slangily 4 Like the freshest fruit 5 Trooper maker 6 They’re tough to convince 7 Idle of Monty Python fame 8 Sneaky security measures 9 Down time, for short 10 Actor Davis 11 Broadway show purchase: abbr. 12 Actor Tognazzi (hidden in YUGOSLAVIA) 13 “Upstairs at Eric’s” band 18 It’s got rings 21 Completely wasted
23 Strawberry in the field 26 “That definitely isn’t looking good” 27 Suzanne Vega song with the lyric “I live on the second floor” 28 Took off the list, maybe 30 Words before “old chap” 32 Brunch drink 35 ___ facto 37 Website for crafty sorts 38 Stats on report cards 40 Likely to sleep in 41 Held by a third party 46 Large pie pieces 49 Driving hazard 50 G-sharp, alternatively 52 Javelin, basically 54 ___ vin (chicken dish) 56 The last two were in St. Paul and Tampa 57 “Up All Night” network 59 Sound at the barbershop 60 Lead-in to O 61 “Yahoo!” to a matador 64 Part of HS
last week’s answers
Across 1 Big ___ (David Ortiz’s nickname) 5 Frappe need 8 Main man 11 Italian region big on terra cotta 14 Bashar al-Assad’s country: abbr. 15 ___ in “Oscar” 16 Written test involving a sly prison breakout? 17 Instances where everyone sings the same note 19 Carry 20 “C’mon, those sunglasses don’t fool me!” 22 Abbr. on a food label 24 “Star Trek: TNG” captain Jean-___ Picard 25 “Pericles, Prince of ___” 26 Palindromic Eskimo knife 29 The right side of the Urals 31 Blue material 33 Attila the ___ 34 Martini & ___ (winemakers) 36 Like some factory seconds: abbr. 39 Statement from a codependent tent dweller? 42 Half-woman, half-bird 43 Like simple survey questions 44 “Don’t do drugs” ad, for short 45 Societal problems 47 Varieties of fish eggs 48 Part of CBS 49 Earth goddess of Greek mythology
©2012 Jonesin’ Crosswords (editor@jonesincrosswords.com) For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle #JONZ603.
Flat Screen Installation Service Residential and Business Affordable! Please call Tim at 971-212-5304
LANDSCAPING Bernhard’s Professional MaintenanceComplete yard care, 20 years. 503-515-9803. Licensed and Insured.
Steve Greenberg Tree Service
REAL ESTATE REAL ESTATE
CLASSICAL PIANO/ KEYBOARD
JESUS: A New Commandment I give unto you; that you LOVE one another - even as I have LOVED you, so shall you LOVE one another. For by this [sign] shall all Men know that you are My Disciples, if you have LOVE one to another. (John 13:34-35) chapel@gorge.net
SUPPORT GROUPS ALANON Sunday Rainbow
20 ACRES FREE
Buy 40-Get 60 acres. $0-Down, $168/ month. Money back gaurentee. NO CREDIT CHECKS. Beautiful views. Roads/surveyed. Near El Paso, Texas. 1-800-843-7537 www.SunsetRanches.com (AAN CAN)
STUFF
5:15 PM meeting. G/L/B/T/Q and friends. Downtown Unitarian Universalist Church on 12th above Taylor. 503-309-2739.
Got Meth Problems? Need Help?
Oregon CMA 24 hour Hot-line Number: 503-895-1311. We are here to help you! Information, support, safe & confidential!
MUSICIANS MARKET FOR FREE ADS in 'Musicians Wanted,' 'Musicians Available' & 'Instruments for Sale' go to portland.backpage.com and submit ads online. Ads taken over the phone in these categories cost $5.
BEDTIME
Pruning and removals, stump grinding. 24-hour emergency service. Licensed/ Insured. CCB#67024. Free estimates. 503-284-2077
LESSONS
COMMANDMENT - 11
FURNITURE
TREE SERVICES
Abundant love, patience and security are what we offer your baby. Travel, excellent education, arts and adventure await with two committed dads. Please call, TEXT or email anytime about Mark and Jeff; 503-683-2043 or markandjeff1@gmail.com.
MISCELLANEOUS
ALL AREAS - ROOMMATES.COM. Browse hundreds of online listings with photos and maps. Find your roommate with a click of the mouse! Visit: www.Roommates.com. (AAN CAN)
HANDYPERSON
ADOPTION:
Theory Performance. All levels. Portland 503-227-6557 and 503-735-5953.
RENTALS
CLEANING
ADOPTION
TWINS
MATTRESS
$
COMPANY
79
FULL $ 89
QUEEN
(503)
760-1598
109
$
7353 SE 92nd Ave Mon-Fri 9-5, Sat 10-2
Custom Sizes » Made To Order Financing Available
PETS
INSTRUMENTS FOR SALE Guitars, Acoustic
MEX Classical $80, Drednot $275, Folk Steel Str. $125, 3qtr Nylon Str. $100, Old Hawiian Ukes, Old Kay electric, Hondo electric V shaped. 503-245-4519.
TRADEUPMUSIC.COM
Buying, selling, instruments of every shape and size. Open 11am-7pm every day. 4701 SE Division & 1834 NE Alberta.
MUSIC LESSONS GUITAR LESSONS Personalized instruction for over 15yrs. Adults & children. Beginner through advanced. www.danielnoland.com 503-546-3137
Potato Hey guys, let’s be honest you didn’t fill up on all Turkey at Thanksgiving, I know you all had seconds on side dishes! And whose favorite side is Potato? I know mine is! And I am sure am a ‘Sweet Potato!” Ha ha get it!? Two meanings - you know like the orange potatoes but also sweet because I am such a nice boy! Hee hee hee I sure am clever! Being a pup of just 3 1/2 months you know I can be such a snuggly little angel but let me be the first to tell you that I have a zesty side too! I’m looking for a home that can give me the training I need to be the best boy I can be! That means regular obedience classes - and no playing hookie! Those ladies at the Pixie Project know everything - just like Santa - and if you get caught skipping class there will be no presents for you! Are you looking for a soft-in-the-middle, energetic, young guy to be by your side and welcome in the new year? Then fill out an application at pixieproject.org so we can schedule a meet and greet! I am fixed, vaccinated and microchipped. My adoption fee is $300.
503-542-3432 • 510 NE MLK Blvd • pixieproject.org
Indian Music Classes with Josh Feinberg
Specializing in sitar, but serving all instruments and levels! 917-776-2801 www.joshfeinbergmusic.com Learn Jazz & Blues Piano with local Grammy winner Peter Boe. 503-274-8727.
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BACK COVER CONTINUED...
© 2012 Rob Brezsny
Week of December 27
TO PLACE AN AD ON BACK COVER CONTINUED call 503-445-3647 or 503-445-2757
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Here are some of the experiences I hope to help you harvest in the coming year: growing pains that are interesting and invigorating rather than stressful; future shock that feels like a fun joyride rather than a bumpy rumble; two totally new and original ways to get excited; a good reason to have faith in a dream that has previously been improbable; a fresh supply of Innocent CrazyWise Love Truth; and access to all the borogoves, mome raths, and slithy toves you could ever want. CANCER (June 21-July 22): In her gallery show “Actuality, Reminiscence, and Fabrication,” artist Deborah Sullivan includes a piece called “Penance 1962.” It consists of a series of handwritten statements that repeats a central theme: “I must not look at boys during prayer.” I’m assuming it’s based on her memory of being in church or Catholic school when she was a teenager. You probably have an analogous rule lodged somewhere in the depths of your unconscious mind -- an outmoded prohibition or taboo that may still be subtly corroding your life energy. The coming year will be an excellent time to banish that ancient nonsense for good. If you were Deborah Sullivan, I’d advise you to fill a whole notebook page with the corrected assertion: “It’s OK to look a boys during prayer.” LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): For years, the gravestone of Irish dramatist Oscar Wilde was covered with kissshaped lipstick marks that were left by his admirers. Unfortunately, Wilde’s descendants decided to scour away all those blessings and erect a glass wall around the tomb to prevent further displays of affection. In my astrological opinion, Leo, you should favor the former style of behavior over the latter in 2013. In other words, don’t focus on keeping things neat and clean and well-ordered. On the contrary: Be extravagant and uninhibited in expressing your love for the influences that inspire you -- even at the risk of being a bit unruly or messy. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): In 2013, I hope to conspire with you to raise your levels of righteous success. If you’re a struggling songwriter, I’ll be pushing for you to get your music out to more people -- without sacrificing your artistic integrity. If you’re a kindergarten teacher, I’ll prompt you to fine-tune and deepen the benevolent influence you have on your students. If you’re a business owner, I’ll urge you to ensure that the product or service you offer is a well-honed gift to those who use it. As I trust you can see, Virgo, I’m implying that impeccable ethics will be crucial to your ascent in the coming year. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): After Libran poet Wallace Stevens won the Pulitzer Prize for Poetry in 1955, Harvard University offered him a job as a full professor. But he turned it down. He couldn’t bear leaving his day job as the vice-president of an insurance
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): In 2013, I will try to help you retool, reinvent, and reinvigorate yourself in every way that’s important to you. I will encourage you to reawaken one of your sleeping aptitudes, recapture a lost treasure, and reanimate a dream you’ve neglected. If you’re smart, Scorpio, you will reallocate resources that got misdirected or wasted. And I hope you will reapply for a privilege or position you were previously denied, because I bet you’ll win it this time around. Here are your words of power for the year ahead: resurrection and redemption. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Based on experiments at the Large Hadron Collider, a team of physicists in France and Switzerland announced last July that they had tentatively discovered the Higgs Boson, which is colloquially known as the “God particle.” What’s all the fuss? In her San Francisco Chronicle column, Leah Garchik quoted an expert who sought to explain: “The Higgs boson is the WD40 and duct tape of the universe, all rolled into one.” Is there a metaphorical equivalent of such a glorious and fundamental thing in your life, Sagittarius? If not, I predict you will find it in 2013. If there already is, I expect you will locate and start using its 2.0 version.
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CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): In 2013, I pledge to help you bring only the highest-quality influences and self-responsible people into your life. Together we will work to dispel any unconscious attraction you might have to demoralizing chaos or pathological melodrama. We will furthermore strive to ensure that as you deepen and fine-tune your self-discipline, it will not be motivated by self-denial or obsessive control-freak tendencies. Rather, it will be an act of love that you engage in so as to intensify your ability to express yourself freely and beautifully.
Homework To check out Part One of my three-part audio forecasts of your destiny in 2013, go to http://bit.ly/BigPicture2012.
check out Rob Brezsny’s Expanded Weekly Audio Horoscopes & Daily Text Message Horoscopes
Sunday 11:30am to 5pm
S.E. Division St.
S
S.E. Powell Blvd.
3609 SE Division St. Portland, OR
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Fresh, local produce, from area farms
Convenient & Flexible, Pay as you go, Lots of options, home/office delivery
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): “Genius is the ability to renew one’s emotions in daily experience,” said French painter Paul Cezanne. What do you think he meant by that? Here’s one interpretation: Many of us replay the same old emotions over and over again -- even in response to experiences that are nothing like the past events when we felt those exact feelings. So a genius might be someone who generates a fresh emotion for each new adventure. Here’s another possible interpretation of Cezanne’s remark: It can be hard to get excited about continually repeating the basic tasks of our regular routines day after day. But a genius might be someone who is good at doing just that. I think that by both of these definitions, 2013 could be a genius year for you Aquarians. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Home is not just the building where you live. It’s more than the community that gives you support and the patch of earth that comforts you with its familiarity. Home is any place where you’re free to be your authentic self; it’s any power spot where you can think your own thoughts and see with your own eyes. I hope and trust that in 2013 you will put yourself in position to experience this state of mind as often as possible. Do you have any ideas about how to do that? Brainstorm about it on a regular basis for the next six months.
Mon-Sat 10:30am to 6pm
S.E. Hawthorne Blvd.
S.E. 37th Ave.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Are you familiar with the fable of the golden goose? The farmer who owned it became impatient because it laid only one gold egg per day. So he killed it, thinking he would thereby get the big chunk of gold that must be inside its body. Alas, his theory was mistaken. There was no chunk. From then on, of course, he no longer got his modest daily treasure. I nominate this fable to be one of your top teaching stories of 2013. As long as you’re content with a slow, steady rate of enrichment, you’ll be successful. Pushing extra hard to expedite the flow might lead to problems.
company in Hartford, Connecticut. I suspect that in the first half of 2013, you will come to a fork in the road that may feel something like Stevens’ quandary. Should you stick with what you know or else head off in the direction of more intense and unpredictable stimulation? I’m not here to tell you which is the better choice; I simply want to make sure you clearly identify the nature of the decision.
S.E. 36th Ave.
ARIES (March 21-April 19): In the sci-fi film trilogy The Matrix, the heroes are able to instantaneously acquire certain complex skills via software that’s downloaded directly into their brains. In this way, the female hacker named Trinity masters the art of piloting a military M-109 helicopter in just a few minutes. If you could choose a few downloads like that, Aries, what would they be? This isn’t just a rhetorical question meant for your amusement. In 2013, I expect that your educational capacity will be exceptional. While you may not be able to add new skills as easily as Trinity, you’ll be pretty fast and efficient. So what do you want to learn? Choose wisely.
503-236-6496 • 2030 N. Williams
organicstoyou.org
Project POOCH ® Your donation is needed more than ever this season to help continue our work in helping at-risk youth & unwanted shelter dogs.
Thank you for helping us save more youth & more dogs. We are proud to be a part of the 2012 WW Give!Guide! To donate go to:
www.pooch.org
http:giveguide.oaktree.com/welcome.aspx
Changing lives one dog & one youth at a time
ww presents
I M A D E T HIS Please check back next week.
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The audio horoscopes are also available by phone at
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BACK COVER
Expert Installation
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(360) 695-7773 (360) 577-4204 Not valid with any other offer
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Need Some Fast Holiday Cash? Sell Us Your Old Smartphone Today!
Used Cellphones, Buy/Sell/Repair. Revived Cellular 7816 N. Interstate 503-286-1527 www.revivedcellular.com
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1712 E.Burnside Pipes, Detox, Scales, Hookah, Kratom New Shisha Flavors! New Store Hours Mon-Sat. 10-9pm! 503-206-7731
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SuperDigital
The Recording Store. Pro Audio. CD/DVD Duplication. www.superdigital.com 503-228-2222
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