38 06 willamette week, december 14, 2011 by Willamette Week Newspaper

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VOL 38/06 12.14.2011

BY COREY PEIN | PAGE 12

P. 24

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EDITORIAL Managing Editor for News Brent Walth Arts & Culture Editor Martin Cizmar Staff Writers Hannah Hoffman, Nigel Jaquiss, Corey Pein Copy Chief Rob Fernas Copy Editors Matt Buckingham, Kat Merck Assistant Arts & Culture Editor Ben Waterhouse Movies Editor Aaron Mesh Music Editor Casey Jarman Editorial Interns Melinda Hasting, Annie Zak CONTRIBUTORS Classical Brett Campbell Dance Heather Wisner Food Ruth Brown Visual Arts Richard Speer

Erik Bader, Judge Bean, Nathan Carson, Devan Cook, Shane Danaher, Jonathan Frochtzwajg, Robert Ham, Shae Healey, Jay Horton, Matthew Korfhage, AP Kryza, Hannah Levin, Jessica Lutjemeyer, Jeff Rosenberg, Matt Singer, Chris Stamm, Mark Stock

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PRODUCTION Production Manager Kendra Clune Art Director Ben Mollica Graphic Designers Melissa Casillas, Soma Honkanen, Adam Krueger, Brittany Moody, Carolyn Richardson, Dylan Serkin Production Interns Lana MacNaughton

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ADVERTISING Director of Advertising Jane Smith Display Account Executives Sara Backus, Maria Boyer, Michael Donhowe, Greg Ingram, Janet Norman, Kyle Owens Classifieds Account Executives Ashlee Horton, Corin Kuppler Advertising Assistant Ashley Grether Marketing and Events Manager Jess Sword Marketing and Promotions Intern Jeanine Gaitan Give!Guide Director Brittany Cornett

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Our mission: Provide our audiences with an independent and irreverent understanding of how their worlds work so they can make a difference. Circulation: 80,000-90,000 (depending on time of year, holidays and vacations.) Though Willamette Week is free, please take just one copy. Anyone removing papers in bulk from our distribution points will be prosecuted, as they say, to the full extent of the law. Willamette Week is published weekly by City of Roses Newspaper Company 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Main line phone: (503) 243-2122 fax: (503) 243-1115 Classifieds phone: (503) 223-1500 fax: (503) 223-0388

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Willamette Week welcomes freelance submissions. Send material to either News Editor or Arts Editor. Manuscripts will be returned if you include a self-addressed, stamped envelope. To be considered for calendar listings, notice of events must be received in writing by noon Wednesday, two weeks before publication. Send to Calendar Editor. Photographs should be clearly labeled and will be returned if accompanied by a selfaddressed, stamped envelope. Questions concerning circulation or subscription inquiries should be directed to Robert Lehrkind at Willamette Week.

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534 SE BELMONT, 503.446.2206 Willamette Week DECEMBER 14, 2011 wweek.com

INBOX RENTER’S HELL OR HEAVEN?

This makes absolutely no sense whatsoever [“Renter’s Hell,” WW, Dec. 7, 2011]. Every neighborhood has “apartment available” signs up everywhere! If it takes you two months to find an apartment in this city, you’re doing it wrong. [I] just rented my fourth apartment TODAY after less than a week of searching. I rented my first apartment sight unseen in March 2008, over a month before I even moved here. [I] walked around NW Portland for a day when I decided to move last year and found an apartment within a couple of hours. I see no reason it should be that stressful to find a place to live in this city. —“Really?” Try going through a neighborhood and actually calling all the numbers on those FOR RENT signs. You will find that most are permanent neighborhood fixtures that never come down, there are no apartments available and no one will answer or return your call. —“really” Ridiculous tabloid article based in fiction. It is not difficult to find apartments or rooms to rent in Portland. Is it hard to find a $500 onebedroom apartment in Northwest? Yes. Should it be? Yes. Should everyone, regardless of their credit history or salary, be able to find a rental in any neighborhood they like? Hell no. This is an infantile assumption. —“Antonio”

My building gets eight to 10 emergency visits from Portland Fire & Rescue each week, usually for the same three or four residents. How much do the rest of us pay for that care? Do 911 callers get billed for emergency medical treatment? —Trying Not To Appear Callous For somebody who’s trying not to appear callous, you sound awfully ready to put a bullet in Grandma the first time she pulls up lame. Still, I get your point: There’s a popular perception that a relatively small number of indigent frequent flyers eat up the lion’s share of emergency services. Like most people, you’d like to know how much your tax bill might go down if we started, say, euthanizing these deadbeats and auctioning off their hides for the benefit of the general fund. But is it really true that a few bad apples—or rather, sick apples—initiate the bulk of 911 calls? “Sometimes we feel that way, but the answer 4

Willamette Week DECEMBER 14, 2011 wweek.com

Do you really think we’ll be complaining about high rents and low supply in early 2013? Hell no! The market will be ripe for tenants very soon. Let’s not forget, developers are extremely dumb.... Anytime they see a slight tightening in the market, they all pounce at once, which eventually results in super-cheap stuff for renters/ buyers. 2008, anyone? —“Steve-O”

SPENDING AT THE URBAN LEAGUE

If these are legitimate expenditures, then why is it so difficult to provide that information to the county? [“Maxed Out at the Urban League,” WW, Dec. 7, 2011]. I am sick of my tax dollars going to nonprofit agencies that continuously fail at being good stewards to their funds. They may not be a government agency, but that’s where plenty of their money comes from. The Urban League receives government funding with clear expectations it will be audited. —“Disgusted”

ON THE WATERFRONT

I want to make it clear that I have in no way accused the ILWU of “not telling the truth.” [“Dreadlocks vs. Hardhats,” WW, Dec. 7, 2011]. What I said is that the ILWU is legally unable to support this community picket. This is an action of Occupy Portland, and we understand the restrictions the unions are facing. —“Kari” LETTERS TO THE EDITOR must include the author’s street address and phone number for verification. Letters must be 250 or fewer words. Submit to: 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Fax: (503) 243-1115, Email: mzusman@wweek.com

is no,” says PF&R spokesman Paul Corah, who notes that of 45,000 emergency medical services calls annually, only about 400 are generated by hardcore 911 enthusiasts. Furthermore, while I suppose it’s possible that the “building” you mention is a tony Pearl District condo, I get the impression that you rent. If so, you don’t contribute a dime to your neighbors’ EMS habit: Portland Fire & Rescue is funded by property taxes. Since PF&R doesn’t bill callers for 911 services, your EMS-loving neighbors aren’t paying, either. It’s all on the property taxpayers. Doubtless some of these put-upon homeowners find footing the bill for this bit of social safety net unfairly burdensome. But, after all, it’s property owners who have the most to lose from the breakdown of society—we battle-hardened veterans of the Portland rental market, with nothing to lose, can revert to savagery, like, whenever. QUESTIONS? Send them to dr.know@wweek.com

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POLITICS: It turns out Rob Cornilles likes tax breaks. CITY HALL: A power struggle over a downtown security deal. NONPROFITS: The Urban League’s problems aren’t over yet. COVER STORY: Nike, as revealed by secret WikiLeaks cables.

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The union-backed advocacy group Our Oregon quietly dropped 13 potential ballot measures with the Oregon Secretary of State’s elections division last week. The measures have names such as “Millionaires Should Pay Their Fair Share,” “Large Corporations Should Pay Their Fair Share,” and “Fund Schools, Not the 1%.” Sound familiar? Unions have been backers of the Occupy movement from the start and continue to exploit its message. The proposed Our Oregon measures— they still need to qualify for the ballot—could revive the class warfare that marked the battle around the passage of 2010 income and business tax hikes. What’s different here: Our Oregon is going on the offense instead of playing defense against anti-tax measures, as they have for most of the past decade. “The Occupy movement has brought to the forefront issues we’ve talked about for a long time,” says Our Oregon spokesman Scott Moore.

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Getaround, a San Francisco-based car-sharing startup, will get about two-thirds of a $1.7 million federal transportation grant to bring its service to Portland. Getaround works like Zipcar, except you don’t rent a car from the company’s fleet— you rent from your neighbors, whose cars are retrofitted with smartphone-enabled door locks and GPS tracking units. Portland Bureau of Transportation spokesman Dan Anderson says Getaround approached the city last winter about applying for a grant from the Federal Highway Administration to expand the car-sharing service, already running in the Bay Area. The 2011 Legislature passed a bill that makes car-sharing legal in Oregon. Anderson says the rest of the grant will go to the Oregon Transportation Research and Education Consortium at Portland State University to study the service. The service starts February, but one silver Honda Civic, parked at Southeast 33rd Avenue, is already listed on getaround.com. In the No Hard Feelings Dept.: Nike chairman and co-founder Phil Knight raged when Gov. John Kitzhaber and his higher ed board fired University of Oregon President Richard Lariviere last month. Knight called the board’s decision to boot the wave-making UO chief—and Kitzhaber’s decision to go along—“an embrace of mediocrity.” (The firing may be proof that UO is not a Nike subsidiary after all.) Well, when it comes to embracing, it’s now time for hugs all around. As first reported on wweek.com, Nike gave Kitzhaber $10,000 on Dec. 9, just over two weeks after Lariviere’s firing. It’s the single biggest contribution to the governor since he PHIL KNIGHT took office in January. Read more Murmurs and daily scuttlebutt.

GOT A GOOD TIP? CALL 503.445.1542, OR EMAIL NEWSHOUND@WWEEK.COM

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NEWS

HIS GAME FACE: Republican candidate for Congress Rob Cornilles campaigns at Pioneer Courthouse Square on Dec. 10. He’s running for the seat vacated by former Rep. David Wu (D-Ore.).

IT’S ALL IN THE GAME ROB CORNILLES’ PURSUIT OF TAX BREAKS AND HIS SHRINKING COMPANY CHALLENGE HIS CAMPAIGN IMAGE AS A “JOB CREATOR.” BY NIG E L JAQ UI SS

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Rob Cornilles hasn’t seen his campaign message that he’s a “job creator” go quite like he’d hoped. Cornilles is the Republican nominee in the Jan. 31 special election to replace former U.S. Rep. David Wu. He’s running by talking up his credentials on the No. 1 issue voters want to hear about: creating Oregon jobs. His proof has been the success of his sports marketing company, Game Face, which his campaign claims is “one of the most influential consulting and executive training firms in the sports industry—worldwide.” But news reports have since shrunk those claims down to size, citing problems with regulators, tax liens and the fact his company is a ghost of its former self. What has received less attention is one of Cornilles’ chief campaign pitches: that tax breaks hurt small businesses and their ability to create jobs. “Who gets stuck paying a full tax bill?” Cornilles asks on his campaign website. “People like you and me, and small and medium-sized companies like the ones in Oregon that don’t have tens of millions of dollars to stuff the tax code with special-interest perks.” But earlier this year, Cornilles led a team that proposed revamping Portland’s Veterans Memorial Coliseum—a plan that counted on millions of tax breaks for its investors.

Cornilles and his partners proposed an $80 million remodel of Memorial Coliseum that relied on big tax breaks for its investors. He and his partners, financier Kirk Iverson and producer Tim Lawrence, sought to turn the Coliseum into what they called an “Oregon Media Free Enterprise Zone.” Dubbed the Veterans Media Center, the former Coliseum site would become a giant multimedia facility, including sound stages, production studios and three theaters. “This concept is quintessentially Portland,” Cornilles says on the proposal’s website. “Veterans Media Center will fuse Oregon’s creativity and natural resources with an industry searching for a more sustainable place to produce innovative content. We’ll create family wage jobs while expanding a market, and our region will experience such an economic boon that we’ll find ourselves front and center on the worldwide media stage.” The proposal counted on substantial tax breaks for investors, who “will receive a 100% State of Oregon (transferable) tax write-off in addition to federal matching incentives co-developed by the City,” according to a May business plan. Backers said at the time the proposal could be eligible for as much as $30 million in tax credits. Cornilles and his partners held a flurry of meetings with elected officials and business leaders this year to pitch the idea. When WW asked Cornilles about the potential tax breaks, however, he said he didn’t recall they were part of his partnership’s proposal. (News of the potential for tax credits for the project, however, appeared in news reports; see “Lights! Camera! Coliseum!” WW, May 18, 2011.)

When shown a copy of his group’s plan, he said one of his partners wrote it. “I’m not as familiar with it as you might think,” Cornilles says. “It was not a formal proposal.” He said the plan was simply “a concept.” The plan so far has had little traction, and Cornilles continues to use his company, Game Face, to bolster his campaign claims that he’s a job creator. “Oregon needs job creators and career builders, something Rob has been doing successfully for nearly 20 years,” his campaign says. “Voters of the First Congressional District have an alternative. In this Special Election, we can choose between a career politician or a career builder.” His opponent, state Sen. Suzanne Bonamici (D-Beaverton), has no record of job creation. She’s worked as a government lawyer for three years, and in private practice for another three before giving up her practice to raise a family. That’s given Cornilles an open field to talk about his experience as a businessman and to promote his plans to create jobs. Cornilles founded Game Face Inc., in Tualatin in 1995. Since then, the company has worked in three areas of the sports business. He trained people to become sports franchise employees, recruited front-office personnel for sports teams, and advised and trained teams how to sell more tickets. “We have an unusual and unprecedented ability to actually know what teams want and need,” Cornilles tells WW. Cornilles is a well-known figure in many sports teams’ front offices. He says Game Face has served 400 professional and college teams. Mike Golub, chief operating officer of Major League Soccer’s Portland Timbers, says he’s known Cornilles for 15 years, and that Game Face did good work for the Timbers and Portland Trail Blazers, the team Golub used to work for. CONT. on page 8 Willamette Week DECEMBER 14, 2011 wweek.com

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EMPTY SPACE: Rob Cornilles’ company, Game Face, once occupied this Tualatin office. Vacant since 2008, the office is still listed as the company’s headquarters.

“They’ve done a really good job, and it’s always been a pleasure to work with them,” Golub says. But Cornilles has also made claims that he is one of the nation’s top sports marketing figures. “Rob has been invited into more front offices than any person in sports,” Cornilles says on his LinkedIn page. Some sports business veterans, however, are puzzled by the claim. “I don’t know what that means,” says Steve Patterson, former Blazers president and now chief operating officer for Arizona State University’s athletic department. “I know he’s trained folks who have been placed at various teams,” says Patterson, who has also worked for the NFL’s Houston Texans and the NBA’s Houston Rockets. “But I don’t even know how you evaluate that claim.” Cornilles says he was on the road for 15 years, traveling to sports franchises, including from 1997-99 for MLS, which had him visit each team three times a year. Pressed by WW to substantiate his claim that he’s been in more front offices than “any person in sports,” Cornilles says he can’t. “Admittedly, you’d have to take my word for it,” he says. Cornilles’ campaign also claims Game Face has “advised and trained more than 30,000 executives in the pro and collegiate ranks.” “That’s a massive number,” says Syracuse University sports marketing Prof. Rick Burton, who co-authored an academic paper with Cornilles 15 years ago. “There’s just no way to know whether it’s accurate or not.” The claim that Cornilles has trained 30,000 executives has also jumped—last year he said on his LinkedIn page that the number was 25,000. “The increase isn’t because I did 5,000 in the past year,” Cornilles says. “It’s because I did the numbers more carefully.” The Oregonian reported Tuesday about the decline of Cornilles’ company—once employing as many as 20 people, it now has only four. Many of Cornilles’ other business problems have also been reported. In October, WW reported that Game Face failed to make federal payroll tax payments for three quarters in a row in 2007, resulting in an $83,000 federal tax lien. Cornilles blames a bookkeeper for failing to make the tax payments; his company had to set up a payment plan with the Internal Revenue Service and got the lien cleared three months later.

In 2003, the Oregon Bureau of Labor and Industries settled claims against Game Face involving a sports marketing training program. The allegations, first reported by the Forest Grove News-Times in 2010, were brought by trainees who claimed they were selling tickets for Game Face without being paid to do so. Cornilles’ company paid $9,000 to settle the claim. Cornilles tells WW his business has declined in recent years. He says the recession has hit the sports business, and fewer teams are hiring his firm. He said his campaigning for Congress—he ran against Wu in 2010 but lost—has taken a toll. Cornilles says Game Face has been highly dependent on his presence and that he’s taken a pay cut. “I sacrificed income for the benefit of my employees,” he says. In 2010, records show Cornilles allowed the federal trademark on the name “Game Face” to lapse, which meant he no longer owned the right to the brand he’d spent 15 years building. Congressional candidate disclosure forms show that through the first eight months of 2011, Game Face paid Cornilles a total of just $48,750. He made $42,000 last year, and $85,750 in 2009. Records show most of Cornilles’ household income comes from business investments in a family trust controlled by his wife’s family. His wife, Allison, controls 17 percent of the trust, records show. (The trust includes a Northeast Portland retirement center built with nearly $9 million in public loans. The center recently had its property tax abatement extended, a break that city officials estimate is worth $2 million.) After WW asked Cornilles’ campaign in October why Game Face’s business registration showed the company to be inactive, Cornilles set about fixing it. That process got delayed because Cornilles tried to re-register Game Face using a post-office box for the company’s address. But Oregon law requires a company to have a physical location, so Cornilles listed 19125 SW 125th Court, Tualatin, as Game Face’s address. The only catch— Game Face vacated its 6,800-square-foot office at that location in 2008 to save money. Asked why his business registration lists an empty office, Cornilles initially denied that was the case. When showed the records, he called it “a mistake.” “I can see how that would be confusing to people,” he says. “There’s nothing fishy about it.”

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A MOVE TO REPLACE PRIVATE PATROLS WITH PARK RANGERS TESTS THE CLOUT OF THE PORTLAND BUSINESS ALLIANCE. BY HA N N A H HOFFMA N

hhoffman@wweek.com

The City of Portland is moving to break the longtime hold a business group has on providing security patrols in downtown parks, setting up a potential struggle over public safety and bigmoney municipal contracts. On one side is the Portland Business Alliance, the city’s biggest corporate interest group, which for more than 20 years has run its own downtown security service, Clean & Safe. It faces losing nearly $530,000 a year to patrol 11 city parks. On the other is City Commissioner Nick Fish, who says the city will hire three park rangers who can do a better job than the business alliance’s security teams. “We asked, ‘Can a different approach give us stronger security and better accountability?’” Fish says. “My team thought there was a better way to spend our limited resources.” Fish’s move carries political risks. The PBA represents some of the biggest money interests in the city, and its $6.8 million-a-year Clean & Safe program is its most visible work downtown. The alliance has already succeeded in delaying Fish’s plans while it’s lobbied to keep the current system in place. The business group has raised concerns that safety downtown will decline if its crews are cut out of patrolling parks. PBA spokeswoman Megan Doern says her group pushed back against Fish’s plan because it doesn’t believe the park rangers can provide the same degree of security offered by Clean & Safe. “Downtown’s a very delicate ecosystem,” Doern says. “We want to be sure the parks are safe for everybody to use them.” The move is the city’s biggest in years to shake up the lucrative private security business downtown. Fish will need at least two other City Council votes to approve the security contract. The PBA’s Clean & Safe program patrols 213 downtown blocks, a program that has grown since it started in 1987. About $4.5 million a year comes from improvement district fees paid by downtown businesses. TriMet pays nearly $1.3 million for patrols of the Transit Mall, and the city pays

$990,410 for security in Smart Park garages and city parks, such as Tom McCall Waterfront Park and Lownsdale and Chapman squares. Fish says the $530,000 flowing from the parks budget to Clean & Safe patrols has gone unquestioned since it started in 1996. “We’ve heard from downtown residents that they’d like to have a more regular presence in the parks,” he says. “I didn’t come to this because I was unhappy with PBA or Clean & Safe, but we think this has advantages.” Under Fish’s plan, the Parks Bureau would assign its three rangers, plus seasonal staff, to patrol 16 downtown parks, including five parks not in Clean & Safe’s territory. The city would then hire an outside security firm, at an estimated cost of $175,000 a year, to work nights. In all, the Parks Bureau estimates, the cost of Fish’s plan would run about the same as the city’s current spending to keep the alliance’s Clean & Safe patrols working the parks. Some downtown residents say they are ready for a change in security in the South Park Blocks. Gunnar Sacher, who lives in Eliot Tower, a luxury condominium complex at 1221 SW 10th Ave., was among several residents who complained to Fish last year. “Drug users are a common occurrence, and so are people selling the product,” he says. “It’s pretty obvious.” Fish aide Jim Blackwood says the PBA’s pushback prompted the Parks Bureau to delay the proposal and consult the Police Bureau to ensure the plan would work. He says the delay worried private security companies that wanted to compete for the contract to provide nighttime security in the parks. “I met with two security firms that were very concerned it had been pulled because of pressure from the PBA,” he says. PBA spokeswoman Doern says her organization doesn’t think “this is how security should be done,” reiterating that city rangers combined with private patrols won’t provide the same degree of security as Clean & Safe. The alliance declined to bid for the security contract in Fish’s original proposal to supplement ranger patrols. Doern doesn’t know what the group will do with the revived plan. “If we don’t feel that it’s going to provide adequate security in the parks,” she says, “then the PBA isn’t going to bid on it.”

NONPROFITS

NEWS

URBAN LEAGUE CONTRACT UNDER REVIEW COUNTY RECORDS SHOW CONCERNS ABOUT THE QUALITY OF SERVICES THE NONPROFIT PROVIDES. BY NIG E L JAQ UI SS

njaquiss@wweek.com

The Urban League of Portland saw its president quit last week after allegations of financial mismanagement, but troubles for the 66-year-old nonprofit are far from over. Ex-president Marcus C. Mundy’s use of the Urban League credit card—auditors said he racked up $44,000 in expenses with no documented purpose over the past three years—led to his resignation Dec. 9. The credit-card use—first reported by WW on Dec. 7—continued for years while auditors for Multnomah County asked for documentation and proof the spending had anything to do with the Urban League’s mission. Now the larger question is whether the board’s lax oversight and Mundy’s failure to institute basic fiscal controls imperil the organization. Newly released documents WW obtained under the state’s public records law shed light on the quality of the services taxpayers were getting from the organization. Multnomah County has paid the Urban League $230,000 a year to provide services to seniors and a children’s program. This contract gave county auditors the right to inspect the Urban League’s books, and that’s how they turned up Mundy’s unchecked spending. The county documents related to the Urban League’s programs for seniors show a pattern of shoddy recordkeeping; failure to respond to requests for information; failure to attend important meetings; “glaring omissions”

in narratives of client care; and a persistent pattern of providing excuses rather than results. “I am extremely concerned about the UL [Urban League]’s ability to deliver services per the [county] contract because of high staff turnover, lack of UL representation in important meetings, etc,” wrote Christine Wilson, a senior official in the county’s Aging and Disability Division on March 17, 2011. The Urban League’s program for seniors has also been plagued by a lack of financial controls. This July, for instance, county officials determined that nearly $3,000 in TriMet passes allocated to the Urban League had neither been used nor returned. “Bus tickets/passes are an area that needs good management/fiscal controls as there is higher risk for fraud/ misuse and it appears that UL does not have good controls in place,” wrote Lee Girard, county community services manager in a July 28, 2011, email to colleagues. Urban League Board Treasurer Charles Wilhoite takes issue with the idea that the League’s programs failed to provide quality services. “To the extent the board was ever made aware of concerns regarding the delivery of services through any UL program, those concerns would have been addressed,” he said via email. “The fact that the UL has been providing services to seniors and kids for extended, continuous periods, through the same funder(s), suggests that the delivery of the services has satisfied expectations.” The documents show that the county’s Aging and Disability Services Division (which provides more than 20 percent of Urban League’s budget) would like to see the Hollywood Senior Center take over the Urban

DEFENDING THE LEAGUE: Urban League Board Treasurer Charles Wilhoite disputes records that question the quality of the organization’s services to seniors.

League contract. County spokesman David Austin says the county is in the process of deciding whether to cut off funding to the Urban League. “We are awaiting any further information they provide before we issue our final assessment on the fiscal review,” Austin says.

Willamette Week DECEMBER 14, 2011 wweek.com

THANKS TO JULIAN ASSANGE, WE NOW KNOW HOW OREGON’S TOP COMPANY FIGHTS CORRUPTION, COUNTERFEITING AND CROATIAN SMUGGLERS. BY COR EY PEIN

cpein@wweek.com

Packed aboard buses and flatbed trucks, the workers rolled through the wide boulevards of the central business district of Indonesia’s capital toward the tall towers of the Jakarta Stock Exchange. They came by the thousands from the factories, their anger focused on a single company. They carried placards: “Nike Where Is Your Commitment,” and “Nike Is A BloodSucking Vampire.” One protester simply drew a swoosh over the words “Fuck You.” It was July 2007. A dispute between Nike and one of its largest overseas suppliers threatened to cost the workers their jobs, and the anger boiled over into the streets. As the workers’ convoy snarled traffic around Nike’s high-rise offices, the executives inside feared for their safety. Surrounded, they realized they could not trust the Indonesian police to protect them. The Nike executives needed help. They called the U.S. Embassy. With operations in 170 countries, and factories in 33, Phil Knight’s $21 billion baby has nearly as many outposts as the State Department has embassies and consulates. It’s no surprise that Nike’s overseas employees and the U.S. diplomatic corps often cross paths. What is surprising is just how often their interests converge. In November 2010, WikiLeaks published its first batch of classified U.S. diplomatic cables—documents allegedly

Willamette Week DECEMBER 14, 2011 wweek.com

downloaded from a Defense Department computer network and burned onto a blank CD labeled “Lady Gaga.” The initial WikiLeaks releases led to headlines about Asian arms deals, Iran war plans and Moammar Gadhafi’s “voluptuous blonde” nurse. The full volume of 251,000 cables, spanning a decade of diplomatic correspondence, was released this September. In these once-secret documents, patient readers can find endless detail on the day-to-day workings of the U.S. State Department. WW’s review found 184 cables, totaling more than 900 pages, that reference Nike. As the state’s only truly global company, Nike is mentioned more often in the cables than any other business in Oregon. The cables excerpted here, and presented in full on wweek.com, reveal the scope and complexity of Nike’s operations. Beyond manufacturing, shipping and advertising— the surface of Nike’s business—this enormous enterprise has developed its own intelligence, customs and forensic services. The cables follow executives and diplomats through the counterfeit markets of Asia, where modern pirates make millions copying—or simply stealing—the famous swoosh. They show Nike investigators prowling European warehouses in the dead of night, on the hunt for contraband. They reveal how corrupt police and politicians try to shake down the company for bribes—and how, in some places, the company pads the budgets of foreign enforcement agencies in return for service.

They show a company that is sometimes robbed by its own subcontractors, and pressured by workers’ demands. And a few cables contain real drama, such as the story of the evacuation of Nike executives from Jakarta following a deal gone bad. Sheena Blevins, a Nike spokeswoman, said in an email that the company is “not able to participate” in this article and “this is not a story we would comment on.” It’s understandable. The NikeLeaks reveal challenges that would spell the end of many ventures. But Nike overcomes enormous risks on a daily basis. These cables show how. Global corporations lose $250 billion a year to knockoffs, according to a study by the Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development—and that includes only physical goods, not software, movies or music. Nike suffers a good share of those losses. The WikiLeaks cables provide new detail into this lucrative illegal trade. One April 2006 cable quotes a Nike manager in China (a capital of counterfeiting) tallying the company’s intellectual property-protection campaign for the prior year: 351 seizures involving 500 factories, and bogus shoes worth $100 million. Another 2006 cable, from September, recounts an extended tour taken by U.S. trade representatives to three large and fast-growing port cities in the Southeast China coastal provinces of Fuzhou, Shenzhen and Guangzhou. Intellectual property experts call this region “the heart of darkness.” After visits with provincial authorities and functionaries—most of whom “stuck to Beijing’s talking points” and recounted ineffectual anti-counterfeiting publicity campaigns—a group of American executives followed U.S. Embassy officials into the streets.

In the markets, they found dealers stocking “blatantly” fake Nikes and other American brands, from Levi’s to Snoop Dogg clothing. The scale was far beyond any Asian street market familiar to Lonely Planet-toting tourists. Shoppers here don’t haggle over the price of a single fake Rolex—they buy “tens of thousands” at a time. “Some of the vendors were not interested in selling individual items, preferring instead to deal with large, wholesale orders.… In addition, foreign buyers—particularly Africans, Middle Easterners, and South Asians—work in Guangzhou as wholesale purchasers and shippers for enterprises in their home countries.” Often, fakes are fairly obvious, featuring poor stitching THE NIKELEAKS CABLES: Browse 184 once-secret State Department documents at wweek.com/nikeleaks.

or misshapen swooshes, made in “small-scale, rural ‘workshop’ operations [that are] difficult to track.” But Nike maintains that its real problem isn’t these rogue mom-and-pop sweatshops. Much of the illicit fare in the markets is the genuine article, made by their own subcontractors. “Some of the clothing…appeared to be high-quality, genuine products being sold at low prices…. This is likely the result of ‘third-shift’ manufacturing, in which factories produce extras to sell on the side….” Swooshes and other genuine Nike materials are often obtained from “recyclers, scavengers or from Nike workers who smuggle shoe parts out of the factory in their clothes or literally fling them over the back fences.” CONT. on page 15

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NIKELEAKS

CONT. 31

I L L U S T R AT I O N B Y J O O H E E YO O N

29 26

37 38

17 16

20 19

15 46 5

47 49

6 7

13 9

11 10

JUST SHOE IT All but 4 percent of Nike’s manufacturing happens in three countries: Vietnam, China and Indonesia. But the company has sales operations around the world. This map locates the sources of 184 NikeLeaks cables over a decade. Read them all at wweek.com/nikeleaks.

NORTH AND SOUTH AMERICA 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

USA . . . . . . . . Mexico . . . . . El Salvador . Honduras . . . Panama . . . . Ecuador . . . . Peru . . . . . . . . Brazil . . . . . . . Chile . . . . . . . Argentina . .

. . . . . . . . . .

AFRICA AND THE MIDDLE EAST

CABLES . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . .

.1 .6 .3 .1 .1 .1 .1 .5 .2 .2

11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23

Mauritius . . . . South Africa . Zimbabwe . . . Ghana . . . . . . . Senegal . . . . . Morocco . . . . . Tunisia . . . . . . Egypt . . . . . . . Jordan . . . . . . Iraq. . . . . . . . . . Kuwait. . . . . . . Saudi Arabia UAE . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . . .

EUROPE

CABLES . . . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . . .

.1 .7 .1 .1 .1 .3 .2 .5 .2 .1 .2 .1 .2

24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40

Nike takes such cases to court but, for several reasons, the company can’t simply rely on the authorities to enforce its trademark. Bureaucratic dysfunction is one reason. Nike’s brand protection manager in China, Bill Wei, is quoted explaining how trademark cases in China must prove that counterfeiters have made a profit before authorities will act, and how “U.S. companies must sometimes ‘shop around’ for a qualified enforcement body that will investigate a case.” The WikiLeaks cables also show that demands for graft follow Nike from port to police station. A March 2007 cable recounts another factory-row tour, this one led by Nike reps, in Putian City, the shoemaking center of Fujian Province. “Putian officials are notoriously corrupt,” the cable notes. Two years earlier, a police official there “allegedly asked the Nike reps for a RMB 100,000 payment”—that’s approximately $13,000—“for each infringer shut down.” The cable does not say whether Nike paid. Such corruption may be even worse in Vietnam, where nearly 40 percent of Nike’s wares are now manufactured.

Portugal . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Spain . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . France . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Belgium . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Netherlands . . . . . . . . . . . . . Czech Republic . . . . . . . . . Poland . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Estonia . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Belarus . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Ukraine . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Italy . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Croatia . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Bosnia and Herzegovina Serbia . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Bulgaria . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Greece . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Turkey . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

The Southeast Asian country of 91 million people—of whom some 90,000 are directly or indirectly employed by Nike—is even more critical to Nike’s business than China. Nike has faced so many problems protecting its property in Vietnam that, in June 2007, a cable shows, the company asked the U.S. Embassy to bring a case against Vietnam to the World Trade Organization. “Last year, law enforcement authorities investigated four cases of counterfeit Nike products, all of which were thrown out, even though Nike believes it had provided clear and convincing evidence of [intellectual property] violations…. Moreover, our contacts told of several instances of counterfeit goods being returned to the violating enterprise, even following administrative fines.” The story of two raids recounted in the cables suggests Vietnamese indifference to Nike’s losses was a result of high-level corruption. A September 2002 cable by the U.S. Consulate in Ho Chi Minh City describes a raid Nike made on one counterfeit shoe operation. The haul: 23 truckloads of counterfeit shoe parts, enough material for 15,000 pairs of shoes, from a factory that had produced some 5,000 bogus pairs the previous year. Nike estimated the value of the illegal

ASIA

CABLES . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

.1 .5 .1 .3 .1 .1 .3 .1 .1 .1 .1 .2 .3 .1 .1 .3 .3

41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52

Pakistan . . . . . China . . . . . . . . India . . . . . . . . Bangladesh. . Sri Lanka . . . . Cambodia . . . Vietnam . . . . . Indonesia. . . . Philippines . . Taiwain . . . . . . South Korea . Japan . . . . . . .

CABLES . . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . .

. .2 .35 ..1 ..1 . .3 . .8 34 . .9 . .2 . .3 ..1 ..1

operation at $164,000—a fortune in a country where the average per capita income was $450 at the time. “In gathering the evidence for the raid, the police worked closely with Nike’s new in-house investigator, who spent one year gathering evidence from informants and old-fashioned detective work…. Ironically, Nike initiated the investigation after receiving a tip from a competing counterfeit producer....” The police helped, in this case, only with special incentive. “Nike praised the cooperation it received from the local police, even though Nike paid for the police overtime and materials (e.g., fuel) to mount the raid, trucks to haul away the material, and the storage costs at a warehouse…. “Although police held approximately two dozen counterfeiters for several hours, no arrests were made since the case is not yet considered criminal…. Authorities are still considering whether to file criminal charges….” As an aside, the cable notes, “One of the counterfeiters [was] the nephew of the Communist Party chairman of a powerful neighboring province.”

CONT. on page 16 Willamette Week DECEMBER 14, 2011 wweek.com

NIKELEAKS

CONT.

Such corruption, of course, is not confined to Europe and Asia. A 2009 cable from the U.S. Embassy in Mexico City relates the case of a notorious pirate, Leonardo Cruz Hernandez, who was arrested in March of that year by Mexican police after a three-year investigation. “Following his arrest, Nike Mexico’s general manager received enormous pressure from Nike’s wholesalers to pardon Cruz, including from a brother of a senior PRI politician.” (The PRI was Mexico’s ruling party for seven decades.) After some initial hesitation, Nike moved forward with charges. “However, on March 26, the judge of the 11th Federal Court of the Reclusorio Oriente [Prison], where Cruz was being held, dismissed the charges against him and allowed Cruz to go free. The judge’s clerk found fault with the paperwork in which [the Mexico attorney general] outlined the case against him, and the case was dismissed on a technicality.” Nike not only tries to pursue counterfeiters in the countries where the fake goods are manufactured, it tracks smugglers’ shipments from the factories of Asia to the ports of Europe. Nike’s private copyright-protection force is like a scalemodel justice system focused on the interests of one client, employing private security, detectives, lawyers, local guides and lobbyists. In a December 2008 cable, representatives of the U.S. Embassy describe a meeting with “Nike’s brand protection manager for Croatia” in Zagreb, that Eastern European country’s capital. The cable gives a sense of the sheer scope

“[T]he smugglers adapt quickly to avoid his interference. There have been recent cases of shipments of ‘blank’ shoes, with a courier bringing in suitcases full of the famous Nike ‘swoosh’ later on.… “Croatia also struggles with a legal and law-enforcement capacity that is often lacking or outmatched. This is especially true along the Bosnian border, where understaffed Croatian units face smugglers with years of experience in trafficking of goods; experience in many cases honed during the Yugoslav wars, when smuggling was a matter of life or death.” Apart from piracy, the cables show that Nike faces continued problems with its overseas business partners and workforce. A December 2007 cable from Vietnam describes a worsening labor situation, with 700 strikes in the previous two years, most of them “technically illegal.” One of the largest strikes that year involved some 14,000 workers at a Korean-owned factory in Southern Vietnam’s Dong Nai Province. The factory, one of 40 of Nike’s Vietnamese subcontractors, made shoes for export. Most of the workers were young women, and nearly all joined the strike, the cable says. Their demands included seniority pay, transportation allowances and lump-sum holiday bonuses amounting to $30 apiece. From Nike’s perspective, the workers already had a good deal. Their average pay—$62.50 a month—was higher than the local minimum wage and conditions “exceed[ed] local standards.” “Despite these pluses, workers told factory managers that the nearly 10 percent annual inflation rate means that

took place in Indonesia, where one in four Nike shoes are currently made. Nike moved into Indonesia, a Pacific archipelago home to 237 million people, in the late 1980s. At the time, the country was midway through the three-decade rule of Suharto, one of the more corrupt Western-backed dictators. By 1998, when Suharto resigned, Nike’s purchasing practices were coming under intense scrutiny from labor and human-rights groups. In response, Nike pioneered the branch of public relations known as “corporate social responsibility.” Rather than attack its critics or dismiss the allegations, Nike admitted problems and pledged do better. Today, sweatshop complaints rarely make the news. But labor disputes continue. In June 2007, thousands of angry factory workers threatened to storm Nike’s offices in the Jakarta Stock Exchange complex. The protests, described in a series of State Department cables that summer, led Nike executives to briefly flee the country. U.S. and Indonesian government officials quickly stepped in as proxy negotiators for Nike and its estranged subcontractor. The background: Nike had a longtime business partner in Indonesia, Central Cipta Murdaya, which is owned by a powerful family that had been close to Suharto. On June 6, 2007, Nike told CCM it would end their relationship at the end of the year because of CCM’s failure to meet quality standards. According to the cable, “CCM responded by ceasing all Nike factory production and directing disgruntled employees to Nike’s downtown offices.… “Business contacts tell us that the Murdaya family ‘plays

“NIKE EXECUTIVES WOULD NOT BE DETAINED BY AUTHORITIES EVEN IN THE EVENT OF CIVIL LITIGATION,” AN INDONESIAN OFFICIAL PROMISED. of the smugglers’ operations and how overseas laws make it hard to prosecute such cases—and how, when foreign authorities are unwilling or unable to act, Nike takes the job of enforcement into its own hands. The cable says Croatia is not a major producer of knockoffs. Rather, “its geographic position makes it a desirable entry point” for smugglers targeting markets in the United Kingdom and Western Europe. Fortunately for Nike, it has one advantage in Europe that it can’t count on everywhere: the cooperation of authorities. “Nike has established relationships with police and customs officials throughout Croatia, who alert Nike when they intercept a suspicious shipment…. The Nike rep then goes, sometimes in the middle of the night, to inspect the merchandise and tell Croatian officials whether the goods are fake…” After a seizure, Nike’s forensics unit takes over. “[T]his identification is not always easy and sometimes requires him to send a sample for closer examination by Nike headquarters.… Once identified as fakes, the shoes are held in a warehouse while he arranges for their destruction…” A November 2008 bust by Croatian customs officials, at the Adriatic Sea port of Rijeka, nabbed “20 shipping containers filled with thousands of pairs of counterfeit Nike shoes destined for markets throughout Europe.” Not all such operations, although successful from Nike’s perspective, are strictly legal, according to the cable. “Our contact admitted that his seizures are only quasi-legal since the designs being counterfeited are only rarely covered by Croatian patent law. This is because of the lengthy procedure to register individual designs with Croatian authorities (often taking over a year). He explained it is impossible for an international apparel manufacturer, issuing hundreds of new products over four seasons, to comply with the letter of Croatian law on registration of designs.” In many ways, Croatian law enforcement is outmatched by organized crime, the Nike rep explained. 16

Willamette Week DECEMBER 14, 2011 wweek.com

the price of commodities, food and other necessities have risen faster than the buying power of their wages….” Nike’s rep blamed the unrest on workers’ misunderstanding of labor law. “When asked about the strike by [Embassy economic officials] in Hanoi…Nike’s general manager said that the strike had started when two employees raised a grievance but then quickly escalated as others joined in to make the wage and other demands as noted above. She also characterized the labor action as a ‘wildcat’ strike because it was illegal, but explained there is still a communications problem with the workers in understanding labor law and procedures…” Rather than negotiate terms or put demands on its subcontractors, Nike told U.S. officials the company “put itself in a neutral position,” encouraging both workers and factory owners to “calm down.” “Nike and other foreign investors in Vietnam remain concerned that wage pressure resulting from inflation means that labor unrest is likely to get worse toward Tet—the biggest holiday of the year and the time when Vietnamese need extra money for family gatherings.” The cables contain a handful of child labor accusations, but it’s impossible to determine their veracity. A 2009 cable describes a former employee’s claim that child labor had been employed over a period of four years in a factory that made soccer balls for Nike in China’s Jiangsu Province (which Portland Mayor Sam Adams happened to visit earlier this year). The U.S. Embassy seemed satisfied with Nike’s internal investigation of the claims, and the company’s assertion that “its process for hand-sewn soccer balls in China is currently such that there is ‘no chance’ of child labor making its way into the supply chain.” The most dramatic incident in the cables involving Nike’s foreign partners—described at the beginning of this story—

hard ball’ and has been known to use their money and influence to harass foreign investors, even having them arrested in some cases. “The ensuing protest alarmed Nike executives. Ultimately, the crowd dispersed peacefully and Nike executives were able to leave their offices. Nike executives, accompanied by the [U.S. Foreign Service] Investigators, were then taken to Soekarno-Hatta airport via police escort where they departed the country.” Indonesian President Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono wanted Nike to return, and assigned a member of his government, Muhammad Lufti, to negotiate with the company and the U.S. government. Lufti approached U.S. Ambassador Cameron Hume, who said Nike officials feared arrest or a lawsuit if they returned. Lufti promised that the government would provide security “for all [Nike] employees and gave his personal guarantee that Nike executives would not be detained by authorities even in the event of civil litigation,” promising “to escort them to the airport and put them on a plane myself before allowing that to happen.” After four-hour negotiations at the Ritz-Carlton Jakarta (in rooms provided by the Indonesian government), and lastminute concessions by Nike, the parties reached an agreement with CCM that allowed Nike’s return to Indonesia. “Lutfi thanked Ambassador Hume for facilitating Nike’s willingness to negotiate and for the Embassy’s presence at the July 24 negotiations. Lutfi expressed surprise at Nike’s generosity in the terms of the phaseout and harshly criticized Hartati Murdaya, owner of CCM, for her ‘nasty intentions.’” Earlier in the negotiations, Hume and Lufti “agreed on the need to handle disputes quietly and not in the press or the streets.” The plan worked pretty well, until WikiLeaks came along.

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WE’RE ON TELEVISION (KIND OF)!: Two of Portland’s national TV shows are finding local talent in the obvious place: the pages of this august publication. On Friday, Grimm (which is performing so well that NBC is moving it to a prime Thursday slot) showcased a vintage Olan Mills family portrait—of a Blutbaden family—that wasn’t vintage at all. It was actually designed by Robbie Augspurger, of the Wolf Choir art collective, who runs B-Movie Bingo and recently created a Twilight bingo board for WW. >> Meanwhile, IFC, preparing for the Jan. 6 premiere of Portlandia, has contracted WW freelancer Matthew P. Singer to write a blog at ifc.com called MATTHEW P. SINGER “Made in Portlandia,” where he pays tribute to “those who dare to live absurdly, in the most absurd place on earth.” He also has to go by Matt P. Singer, because apparently there’s another Matthew Singer out there stealing his absurd thunder. TREK 3-D: Wanna take your Star Trek LARP-ing to the next level? Portland’s 5th Wall Gaming won’t do that exactly (*cough* intellectual property *cough*) but they do have a new game set on the familiar bridge of a famous starship. Crews of six wannabe galactic warriors take on 30-minute missions, working together to shoot down alien ships. “The software allows for one station of helm, weapons, engineering, science and scommunications,” explains 5th Wall’s Joseph BullockPalser. “Each one has its own computer with its own screen.” On Saturday, Dec. 17, 5th Wall will be hosting a day of starship simulation at Guardian Games (303 SE 3rd Ave). Five bucks gets you training and a 30 TREKKIES: You can LARP along. minute mission. DEEP DARK WOODS: The Sellwood neighborhood’s coolest nightlife spot and one of Portland’s best-sounding clubs, The Woods, will shut down in late January, sources close to the business say. The funeral home-turned-venue, which opened in summer of 2009, has struggled to stay afloat in recent months and dropped its primary booker a month ago. The club’s management could not be reached for comment as of WW’s press deadline.

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BOOM AND BUST ON BELMONT: According to OLCC records, Belmont record shop and bar Hall of Records will soon close. The space will be filled early in 2012 by Jehnee Rains’ Suzette Creperie, which currently operates out of a trailer on Northeast Alberta Street. >> Also coming soon to Belmont is Hokusei, a sushi restaurant opening next to Slappy Cakes at 4246 SE Belmont St. OLD SPICE GUY SHILLS LOCAL: Old Spice has a thing where their mascot does little holiday-themed YouTube ads for local businesses. Portland’s PBJ’s (Northwest 23rd Avenue and Kearney Street, pbjsgrilled.com) just got some love and it’s at least as funny as every other thing that Old Spice guy has done. See it: bit.ly/pbjpdx.

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WILLAMETTE WEEK

WHAT TO DO THIS WEEK IN ARTS & CULTURE

WEDNESDAY, DEC. 14 WW PHOTO COLLAGE

ADX HOLDS A WAREHOUSE SALE OF HOMEMADE WEIRDNESS.

THE KNUX [MUSIC] These days, most rappers want to be rock stars. But the Knux are rock stars without even trying. The New Orleans-bred duo goes big with a rock/rap/dance/hip-hop/electro-pop fusion that parties as hard than Ke$ha while actually making good music. Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside St., 231-9663. 9 pm. $12. 21+.

THURSDAY, DEC. 15 ORGAN GRINDERS: THE UNKNOWN [MOVIES] Lon Chaney Sr. plays a killer carny (“small hands...”) with a live soundtrack by aptly named band the Subterranean Howl. Hollywood Theatre, 4122 NE Sandy Blvd., 281-4215. 8 pm. $12.

FRIDAY, DEC. 16 PGC3 EPIC WINTER FORMAL [NERDS] This get-together of Portland geek groups is what the Apalachin Meeting was for the Mafia—except with sock puppets and console gaming. “Costumes encouraged,” by the Portland Geek Council of Commerce and Culture. Someday Lounge, 125 NW 5th Ave., 248-1030, geekportland.com. 7 pm. Free. YOUNG ADULT [MOVIES] Charlize Theron plays a filthy drunken whore, in a movie written by Diablo Cody (Juno). It’s a little like The Lost Weekend with Replacements songs, and it reminded our critic of some dark times in his life—which, sadly, did not involve Charlize Theron. Multiple locations including Regal Lloyd Center 10, 1510 NE Multnomah St., 287-0338. $10. PORTLAND BAROQUE ORCHESTRA, CAPPELLA ROMANA [MUSIC] The one truest Messiah. First Baptist Church, 909 SW 11th Ave., 222-6000, pbo.org. 7:30 pm Friday-Saturday, 4 pm Sunday and 2 pm Monday, Dec. 16-19. $26-$69.

Portland’s ADX is a big ol’ warehouse where the Etsy-inclined pay $40 a day to bring their designs into the third dimension using facilities not unlike what you’d find in a high school shop class. Those “makers” create some oddly practical contraptions—alarm clocks

that look like bombs, for starters. You’re welcome to peruse them at GIFTED: A Maker’s Marketplace, which the group says caters to “the anti-consumer who still needs to buy things.” A few highlights:

COAT The Napsack is a sleeping bag that doubles as a dress for ladies or a cape for outdoorsy superheroes. It wears as jiggy as a puffy jacket and has both a chest pocket for your phone and a hole for the headphones. Poler, polerstuff.com. $130.

STATIONERY Meghan Keegan uses traditional letterpress to create nifty stationery that harks back to the good old days. Paper lovers will like the work she’s done for clients such as the Farm Cafe and Forktown food tours. KeeganMeegan & Co, keeganmeeganco.com. $10 and up.

CLOCK The Chronulator is a clock that uses old-school analog, mechanical meters to show the time. The kit includes hour and minute dials and fits into repurposed objects, like a fish tank or an old cable modem. The Bombulator looks like one of Wile E. Coyote’s IEDs, though it was made with lesscombustible dowel rods coated in red spray paint and bound together with rubber bands. Sharebrained Technologies, sharebrained.com. $49.

MAP Greg Jones’ company 54/40 —that’s the latitude/longitude of the boundary of Oregon and British Columbia, subject of a big battle settled by the 1846 Oregon treaty—laser cuts plywood and lays each piece by hand to create wooden topographical maps of Oregon and 47 other states. He’s still working on Alaska and Hawaii. 54/40, fiftyfourforty.com. $20 and up, depending on the state. MELINDA HASTING.

GO: GIFTED: A Maker’s Marketplace is at ADX Warehouse, 417 SE 11th Ave., adxportland.com. 11 am-5 pm Saturday, Dec. 17.

SATURDAY, DEC. 17 SPOOKIES [MUSIC] It has been a long year without WW’s 2007 Best New Band, the Shaky Hands, so we were happy to hear that three ex-Hands (and a less-Shaky friend) started a new band, Spookies. Early demos show them to be lo-fi, campy and entirely rocking. The Know, 2026 NE Alberta St., 473-8729. 8 pm. Cover. 21+. UNSILENT NIGHT [HOLIDAYS] For nearly 20 years, New Yorkers have gathered to rove through the streets blaring a fourpart Christmas composition by Shortlist-nominated composer Phil Kline. The event, Unsilent Night, started with boomboxes playing cassettes, switched to CDs and evolved to MP3s. Now, it’s an app and happening in Portland for the first time. Meet at 6:45 pm at the South Park Blocks (corner of SW Park Avenue and Salmon Street). Bring loud, battery-powered speakers and a copy of the track. Info at unsilentnight.com. Willamette Week DECEMBER 14, 2011 wweek.com

HOLIDAYS MORGAN GREEN-HOPKINS

CULTURE

EVERGREEN BUSINESS: Oregon’s annual Christmas tree harvest is the largest in the country, providing 31 percent of the national market.

YULE LOGGERS OREGON’S VAST CHRISTMAS TREE HARVEST RELIES ON HELICOPTERS—AND MEXICO. BY AA R O N M E S H

amesh@wweek.com

The Huey comes in low out of the south, slinging 4,000 pounds of living-room decoration on its tow line. Hovering 50 feet above a patch of hard-packed dirt and gravel, the helicopter gently sets down two bales of noble firs before peeling back out over the groves of Yule Tree Farms in Aurora. Latino guys in orange hard hats come running to load the pallets onto a Bobcat and a John Deere backhoe, steadying themselves against a blast of wind from the chopper’s blades. The air smells richly of pine, like the copter’s breeze was scented with a car freshener. The wind sends evergreen tumbleweeds spinning across the parking lot. A man blows dirt out of his nose. “See how they all have hoods on?” says Tom McNabb, general manager of Yule Tree Farms, pointing to his workers wearing hoodie sweaters. “If you don’t, you’ll have needles going down your neck and down your back.” Over and over, the helicopter flies across the fields, towing loads of 6-footers, 34 at a time. Sometimes it carries them the length of three football fields, sometimes only one. The flights are absurdly short. So is the time window. Yule Tree Farms has five weeks to cut and ship the product it took six years to grow. Oregon’s annual Christmas tree harvest, the largest in the country, is big business. The state grows more holiday trees each year than any other place in America—6.4 million last year. That’s 31 percent of the national Christmas tree market. Oregon ships 96 percent of its crop out of state, half of it to California. Evergreens in the Willamette Valley grow up to a foot a year, faster than anywhere else on the continent. And they go all over the continent, as far as Mexico, a country that’s increasingly important to this operation. Four days after being harvested on this bright, frigid November afternoon 24 miles south of Portland in Mari22

Willamette Week DECEMBER 14, 2011 wweek.com

on County, these firs will arrive at a Home Depot garden center in Phoenix. They will travel there in refrigerated trailers packed with ice that will slowly melt to keep them moist. But first, they take the very short, airborne journey over pastures of thick mud by rented helicopter. Last year, from the first week in November to the second week in December, Christmas trees earned the state’s economy more than $90 million. This year, with hopes that Oregon’s exports will grow to 6.6 million trees, Oregon’s freshman U.S. Sen. Jeff Merkley sponsored a Senate resolution declaring last week “National Christmas Tree Week.” Lately, though, Christmas tree growers are more concerned about Mexico—where they get their labor and need to expand their market. At Yule Tree Farms, owned by Oregon natives Joe Sharp and Richard Gingerich, annual harvests top 500,000 noble, Douglas and grand firs, chopped from fields in Sheridan, Sublimity, Canby and Aurora. For more than a month, manager McNabb has been arriving in the fields every day— including Thanksgiving—at 6 am and staying until 7 pm. “We’ve already shipped three-quarters of our trees,” McNabb says, standing in Yule’s Aurora field Nov. 30. “We’re starting to feel good about life.” It has been cold and rainy. He wants it to be colder and rainier. “You don’t want to chop the trees and have the sun come out,” McNabb says, because warm sunshine kills firs faster. “The ideal days will be 20 degrees every day.” With temperatures in the mid-60s in late November, Yule Tree Farms rents the helicopter for $725 an hour to lift its trees out of the fields. But at 10 am, a crew of five men is already 100 yards deep into a row of noble firs, steam billowing from their sweaters as they pile trees onto a board, then load that pallet into the jaws of a machine. The “palletizer” squashes the cluster of trees into a cube—there’s a cracking sound of boards splintering—that is left to be flown out later that day. Across a dozen rows of stumps and newly exposed, pale, alien-looking mushrooms, another crew of five is running a binder: a Dr. Seuss-like, diesel-powered cylinder that

winds rope around newly chopped trees so they’re ready for the pallets. First, one man plunks each trunk into the machine’s shaker, a vibrating, octagonal bowl that shudders dead needles out of the branches. “They’ll do a lot of bales today,” says McNabb. “And they’ll do this until dark. Or until they’ve run out of trees.” The binding machine breaks down, belching smoke. The five workers gather around, offering suggestions in Spanish. A mechanic arrives. He, too, is Latino. At both ends of the production cycle, the future of Oregon’s Christmas tree harvest depends on Mexico. In October, the Mexican government ended two years of 20 percent tariffs on U.S.-grown Christmas trees, opening up a market that, before a trade dispute in 2009, bought 11 percent of Oregon’s Christmas trees. Father Angel Perez, pastor of St. Luke Catholic Church in Woodburn, says Christmas trees are an aspirational purchase in Mexico. “My impression growing up is that Christmas trees more come to Mexico from the U.S.,” Perez says. “I grew up in a place where few people were able to get a real Christmas tree. People would go out looking for dry bushes.” Even as they look forward to renewing a foothold there, Christmas tree growers depend on Mexican migrant workers to harvest their firs. Oregon Association of Nurseries president Jeff Stone tried working a day of farm labor this spring after an argument about immigration laws with conservative radio host Lars Larson. “I looked like I was in a car accident,” Stone recalls. “And the line of azaleas I planted looked like I failed a sobriety test.” Driving between farms in Aurora and Canby, McNabb says he’s seen workers getting increasingly nervous about their immigration status. He worries about the crew managers, who have been harvesting for more than 20 years. “These guys have spent half their lives in trees,” he says. As the helicopter flies another load of pallets into the loading zone, a group of workers stands in the bed of a converted garbage truck, taking video of the spectacle with their camera phones. One of them is named Pablo. He lives in Woodburn but is originally from Mexico. He works 10-hour days during the harvest. “It’s not hard,” he says. He prefers movies and dancing, however. “I like to drink beer,” he adds over the roar of the rotors. Pablo has a Christmas tree of his own, a 7-footer. He chopped it himself at Yule Tree Farms.

Willamette Week DECEMBER 14, 2011 wweek.com

FOOD & DRINK

“OMFG!” — Amado, Portland OR

= WW Pick. Highly recommended. By RUTH BROWN. PRICES: $: Most entrees under $10. $$: $10-$20. $$$: $20-$30. $$$$: Above $30. Editor: MARTIN CIZMAR. Email: dish@wweek.com. See page 3 for submission instructions.

- Portland Mercury

Christmakuh With Sierra Nevada

Join us for our Italian Christmas Eve and New Year’s Eve dinners!

Mon–Fri

919 NW 23rd pbjsgriled.com • 702-743-0435

NOW SERVING BRUNCH. All you can eat buffet. 10am – 2pm Sundays

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ALL DaY! Sun-Thur

10 Flat Screen TVs

ALL GAMES!

Entertainment

Love Loungers

Hey, an O.C. reference. That makes me strangely happy. Other things that make me happy: giving toys to needy kids and feeding hungry families at Christmas. The Hop & Vine and Sierra Nevada Brewing Co. are holding an event to do both of these two things—with beer. Sierra Nevada’s Celebration, Life & Limb, Foam Pilsner, Black Hop Rising and Blackalicious will be on draught, along with all three Ovila abbey ales. Admission is one non-perishable food item or $1 for the Oregon Food Bank, while bringing a new toy scores you a free Ovila chalice. The Hop &Vine Bottle Shop, 1914 N Killingsworth St., 954-3322. 5-8 pm. $1 or donation of one non-perishable food item. 21+.

FRIDAY, DEC. 16 Plew’s Brews Winter Beer Festival

For those who missed last week’s Holiday Ale Festival, or those whose livers just haven’t taken enough punishment yet, the North Portland Fermentation Association and St. Johns bar Plew’s Brews are hosting a new Winter Beer Festival. Brewers include Stone, Lagunitas, Gilgamesh, Rusty Truck and Off the Rail, as well as newbies Humble Brewing and local outfit Occidental, which is brewing a special beer for the festival. Plew’s Brews, 8409 N Lombard St., 283-2243. 5 pm-midnight Friday, noon-midnight Saturday, noon-6 pm Sunday, Dec. 16-18. $6 for a glass, beer tickets $1. 21+.

THREE PLACES FOR A HOT TODDY Swift Lounge

Swift Lounge, which occupies the space last home to the old Colosso, aces the one thing you have to do right in December: make a damn fine hot toddy. Warm to the touch, with just a hint of clove spice and cinnamon, Swift’s Back Porch Toddy ($7) is made with sweet teainfused vodka instead of whiskey, and it does remarkable things for any lingering cold. MICHAEL MANNHEIMER. Swift Lounge, 1932 NE Broadway, 288-3333, swiftlounge.com 4 pm-2 am daily.

Vendetta

What exactly makes a good neighborhood bar? How about a friendly, attentive bartender who asks if you want whiskey or brandy in your hot toddy? Or a place with a shuffleboard table inside for escaping the rain? MICHAEL MANNHEIMER. 4306 N Williams Ave., 288-1085, myspace. com/vendettapdx. 3 pm-2 am daily.

Red Fox

Portland’s Rat Pack! Sat Dec 17 9:30-Midnight Every Monday 8-11pm

Ron Steen Jam

5515 SW Canyon Court 503-297-5568 www.sylvansteakhouse.com

EAT MOBILE LIZ DEVINE

THURSDAY, DEC. 15

“distinctly authentic Italian food”

Willamette Week DECEMBER 14, 2011 wweek.com

That long sunless stretch from September to April can be rough. But try dragging your cold husk out into the night and into Red Fox once in a while, for there is solace here, in the form of an almost parental concern for your fall-into-winter-into-second-winter blues. The kitchen dishes up gumbo fries to help keep your skeleton warm underneath a necessary layer of fat, while the magnificent Bärenjäger hot toddy attends to your sweet tooth and sour mood. CHRIS STAMM. 5128 N Albina Ave., 282-2934, redfoxpdx.com. 3 pm-1:30 am daily.

SOME LIKE IT HOT: A mostly bare barista does her thing.

HOT BIKINI BREW Is a coffee kiosk staffed entirely by hot chicks in bikinis a tasteless and degrading enterprise or an empowering and titillating local business befitting this sex-positive city? Is it a way for sleazy men to ogle tits on the cheap or a way for self-confident young ladies to make money from their best assets? Inner Southeast Portland’s Hot Bikini Brew would make a great subject for a postgraduate gender-studies thesis. Post-feminist debates aside, the house coffee ($2 for 12 oz., brewed from Hillsboro’s Longbottom coffee) is better than you’ll get from myriad Order this: The Starbucksother drive-thru fast-food options, style “Mexican mocha” ($3.75) including the Dutch Brothers stall was a pleasant blend of cinnamon and chocolate without a few blocks away. Of course, for too much sweetness. about the same price, you can get a Best deal: Friday is “fantasy precisely poured, Chemex brewed, dress up” day. single-origin coffee down the road at Coava Coffee. The real appeal of this roadside coffeehouse isn’t in its cups (not those cups, either), but that these ladies are clearly willing to work hard for tips: You’ll get a conversation, a convincing smile and a story to tell your workmates. And you’ll see tits. RUTH BROWN. DRINK: 645 SE Madison St. 5:30 am-5:30 pm Monday-Friday, 7 am-4 pm Saturday.

DRANK

CAVATICA STOUT (FORT GEORGE BREWERY) You’ve probably had a stout very much like Fort George’s Cavatica. The Astoria brewer’s dark, glowing bauble of a beer, which debuted in cans last month, is “made in the tradition” of McMenamins stalwart Terminator. Both beers use black barley and Munich malt to get a molasseslike heft, though Cavatica is nearly Imperial-strength, a studly 8.8 percent ABV compared to Terminator’s 6.45 percent. The extra ethanol blended smoothly into our one-pint can from the first batch, a gift from a friendly neighbor. A big head of sandy foam and the resolute sweetness of raisins, cocoa and candied walnuts really impressed, especially after a weekend of disappointing holiday ales. Cascade hops provide a balancing slice of orange that is distinctly Oregon. The convenience and very reasonable price of these cans is almost beside the point. Recommended. MARTIN CIZMAR.

FOOD & DRINK AMAREN COLOSI

REVIEW

Artisan country hams also get a lot of space on the brown paper menus that are in constant flux. (We enjoyed a roasted rooster entree on one occasion; it’s typically chicken.) The cured meats require little more than shaving, but we happily sampled a plate of Iowa’s buttery-smooth La Quercia ($8), a Hawkeye’s take on prosciutto. Country ham also makes a cameo in an impressive appetizer of fingerling potatoes and chanterelles. The tender lettuce salad topped with radishes, buttermilk dressing and a crouton made from a Sally Lunn bun, and a smoky octopus dish flavored with salty chorizo sauce were other standouts. A decadent pork terrine, tender with micro-minced fat, was another fleeting but remarkable offering. (A chicken liver version is the usual, and is reputed to be quite good.) Plan to sample a few first plates, and try a round or two from bar boss Evan Zimmerman’s bourbon-heavy cocktail list, the thorough wine list, or beer offerings tilted toward Belgium, as you may be waiting a while. Service is quick and sharp—a napkin was refolded on two trips to the restroom—but the kitchen seems to gear up for big nights and, paradoxically, move slowly when things are quiet. The bar is a worthy draw itself, having already pulled in The New York Times’ coffee-obsessed vagabond Oliver Strand, and has both simple and complex offerings. We favored the strikingly straightforward Goldrush, a theraCRAZY GOOD: Whole roasted trout with cherry tomatoes and “crazy water” is a standout. peutic blend of bourbon, lemon and honey. Coffee lovers will be happy to hear Sorenson brings out his famous Chemex—for $7 you can get beans brewed on a level rarely seen in a restaurant. The trout, as mentioned, is a stellar entree. A hearty Dinner at the Woodsman is a little like a homily at the fried pork shank served on the bone with an aquavitSistine Chapel. Of course it’s good—look at this place, it has cranberry gastrique and a dab of sauerkraut ($24) had to be! That’s not to be casually dismissive of the kitchen’s a crunchy coat over a supple interior. Along with the accomplishments. Everything served Thanksgiving eve, poultry dish, it’s a nice option for fishphobes. The tender BY M A RT I N C I Z M A R mcizmar@wweek.com and on a subsequent visit, was well-built from fine mate- flank steak with french fries and a creamy bordelaise rials. Several dishes from the kitchen of chef Jason Bar- sauce is totally forgettable, an obvious concession to the It’s Thanksgiving eve and the Woodsman Tavern is bus- wikowski, formerly of Olympic Provisions, reward those unpardonably unadventurous, and will serve its ignoble tling. The harried staff darts about as diners seated on driving German cars from the ’burbs to far-flung Southeast purpose well. iron-legged drafting stools blend together in the richly dim Division, all the way past the adult The only similarly boring dish room. A pale, slightly built bartender wearing suspend- theater. (I live in the neighborhood; Order this: Whole roasted trout with cherry is, surprisingly, the snack menu’s ers and heavy frames pours three fingers of bourbon over Boxster sightings are rare.) pork rinds “Ala Kahan” ($4), a nod tomatoes and crazy water ($20). cubed ice, then violently shakes it to shards. A waiter in Seafood is a small part of the menu Best deal: The small salad at the bottom of to British tavern food. The Woodsdark plaid with a long, scraggly beard bolts across the hard- but gets big play, starting at the front the menu: lettuce, lemon and olive oil ($3). man’s version is lightly spiced and wood floor to deliver freshly shucked oysters. A waitress door where patrons walk by an ice- I’ll pass: Pork rinds Ala Kahan ($4). remarkably similar to Plaid Pantry’s with a dainty apron and a messy ponytail slinks around filled raw bar stocked with Tillamook chicharróns. The pork rinds are one him to deliver puffy, neon-orange pork rinds. Bay and B.C. oysters, Dungeness crab and prawns before of the few instances where Sorenson stumbles toward The Woodsman is Stumptown Coffee founder Duane encountering the hostess. Care is taken in sourcing excel- what he might rightly fear: getting a little too cute. It’s a Sorenson’s new pet. He’s been mentally polishing the con- lent shellfish—Sorenson has been making field trips—and cheapish curiosity that reminds us, compared to nearly cept, and collecting the bucolic Hudson River School-type a simple cocktail of big, peeled prawns ($12) pleased our everything else, just how well Sorenson assembled the mountainscapes lining the walls, for five years. The res- table, though it’s hard to give much credit to the “cook.” Woodsman. This restaurant is like a vintage Pendleton taurant opened in mid-October on the same block as his Roasted trout ($20) was a more impressive creation. catalog come to life, which makes it a perfect panorama original coffeehouse. Sorenson’s time and talent for cura- Served whole in the skin, with a dusting of herbs and a for these woolly times. torship are on full display. The place is beautiful—ruggedly few cherry tomatoes in the brightly flavorful yellow broth elegant, a superb manifestation of our obsession with the called “crazy water,” it could easily become the Woods- GO: The Woodsman Tavern, 4537 SE Division St., 971-373-8264, woodsmantavern.com. 5 -10 pm daily, pre-industrial. The food is not far behind. man’s signature dish. 9 am-2 pm Saturday-Sunday. $$$.

A PRIM WOODLAND THE WOODSMAN TAVERN TASTES GOOD AND LOOKS BETTER.

Shandong

Pizza, Calzones & Full-Bar At Our New Location

cuisine of northern china

fresh ingredients • prepared daily • a new look at classic dishes 3724 ne broadway portland or 97232 503.287.0331 shandongportland.com

open daily 11-2:30 lunch 4-9:30 dinner happy hour specials 4-6

NOw OPeN Ne 57th at Fremont 503.894.8973 1708 e. Burnside 503.230.wING (9464)

4225 N. Interstate Ave. 503.280.wING (9464) Willamette Week DECEMBER 14, 2011 wweek.com

m cm enami ns m u s i c

CRYSTAL

THE

C O

836 N RUSSELL • PORTLAND, OR • (503) 282-6810

HOTEL & BALLROOM

The historic

MISSION THEATER

CRYSTAL BALLROOM

1624 N.W. Glisan • Portland 503-223-4527

14th and W. Burnside

DINOSAUR JR. SCRATCH ACID

80s VIDEO DANCE ATTACK

performing "Bug" in its entirety

Pierced Arrows

FRI DEC 16 Henry Rollins interviews Dinosaur Jr. live ALL AGES

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 16 LOLA’S ROOM 9 PM $5 21+OVER

nearly new year’s

New Year’s eve 2012

FREE

5:30 p.m. is “eagle time” • free

FRI DEC 30 ALL AGES

FLOATER

McMenamins and Monqui present SAT DEC 31 21 & OVER

COLD HARD GROUND THURSDAY, DECEMBER 15

THE DAYS THE NIGHT NIGHTS NIGH TS

WITH VJ KITTYROX

LIVE STAGE & BIG SCREEN! WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 14

WILL WEST & TANNER CUNDY STRANGLED DARLINGS FREE

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 16

TALKDEMONIC DEELAY CEELAY

5:30 p.m. is “eagle time” • free

REVERB BROTHERS

STAN MCMAHON BAND DUOVER COUNTERFEIT CASH

BRAINSTORM

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 17

w/ NEW YEARS EVE

Friday, December 15

4:30 p.m. is “eagle time” • free

An Evening with Damian Erskine Project

THE STUDENT LOAN CAMERON MCGILL LOTUS ISLE JOSHUA ENGLISH

FRI JAN 6 21 & OVER

D WEKAGEESKAVAEILAN 80SRNIGH BLE T PAC

SAT JAN 7 21 & OVER

OVE

THE DIMES-lola’s 1/7 SIMPLE SWEET CD RELEASE-lola’s 1/13 SCHOOL OF ROCK-BEST OF PORTLAND 1/17 THE WAILERS 1/21 BEARD & MUSTACHE AWARDS 1/22 PORTLAND MUSIC AWARDS 1/27 BEATS ANTIQUE 1/28 MOE. 1/29 DANNY BARNES 2/13 DR. DOG 2/14 CHALI 2NA-lola’s 2/17 BIG HEAD TODD & THE MONSTERS 2/24 PDX JAZZ FESTIVAL: BILL FRISELL 2/25 PDX JAZZ FESTIVAL: VIJAY IYER, PRASANNA & NITTIN MITTA (3 PM) 2/25 PDX JAZZ FESTIVAL: CHARLIE HUNTER (9:30 PM) 3/2 & 3 RAILROAD EARTH 3/15 NEEDTOBREATHE 3/22 KAISER CHIEFS 3/24 GALACTIC 12/11

DANCEONAIR.COM

Homegrown Docfest

OPEN MIC/SINGER SONGWRITER SHOWCASE

Featuring VJ Kittyrox

SUPERSUCKERS The Suicide Notes

Friday, December 16

SUNDAY, DECEMBER 18

Saturday, December 17

FEATURING PORTLAND’S FINEST TALENT 6:30 P.M. SIGN-UP; 7 P.M. MUSIC· FREE

Santacon Pub Crawl

MONDAY, DECEMBER 19

ED CONNEL· ROOT JACK FREE

Saturday, December 17

TUESDAY, DECEMBER 20

Miz Kitty’s Parlour

BRAD CREEL AND THE REEL DEEL

Sunday, December 18

FREE

Crafty Underdog

DOORS 8pm MUSIC 9pm UNLESS NOTED

Friday, January 6

MyPortlandia Party

Come in from the cold for a cocktail at Zeus Café… how about the Fireside Flip, a mix of Edgefield spirits including Longshot and Potstill Brandies, Fireside Dessert Wine and Herbal #7, rounded out with whole egg, heavy cream and Fireside reduction.

AL’S DEn at CRYSTAL

HOTEL

FREE LIVE MUSIC nIghtLy · 7 PM

DJ’S · 10:30 PM

12/14-17

12/15 DJ Anjali & the Incredible Kid 12/16 DJ Drew Groove 12/17 DJ Stargazer

12/18-24

SEAN RAY FLINN TARANTINO

Thursday, January 19

PDXJazz presents: Cyrille Aimée & Diego Figueiredo: “Django To Jobim”

Tuesday and Wednesday, February 14 & 15

Mortified Portland Call our movie hotline to find out what’s playing this week!

CRYSTAL HOTEL & BALLROOM Ballroom: 1332 W. Burnside · (503) 225-0047 · Hotel: 303 S.W. 12th Ave · (503) 972-2670

(503) 249-7474 MUSIC AT 8:30 P.M. MON-THUR 9:30 P.M. FRI & SAT (UNLESS OTHERWISE NOTED)

Event and movie info at mcmenamins.com/mission

New Years Celebration with

LANGHORNE SLIM & THE LAW

THE BUILDERS AND THE

BUTCHERS

BAGDAD THEATER

Saturday, December 31

CASCADE TICKETS 26

cascadetickets.com 1-855-CAS-TIXX

OUTLETS: CRYSTAL BALLROOM BOX OFFICE, BAGDAD THEATER, EDGEFIELD, EAST 19TH ST. CAFÉ (EUGENE)

Willamette Week DECEMBER 14, 2011 wweek.com

Find us on

21 & OVER

MUSIC

DEC. 14-20 PROFILE

= WW Pick. Highly recommended.

J OY F U L N O I S E R E CO R D I N G S .CO M

Prices listed are sometimes for advance ticket sales. At-the-door increases and socalled convenience charges may apply. Event lineups are subject to change after WW’s press deadlines. Editor: CASEY JARMAN. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, go to wweek.com/ submitevents and follow submission directions. All shows should be submitted two weeks or more in advance of event. Press kits, CDs and especially vinyl can be sent to Music Desk, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Please include show or release date information with all physical mailings. Email: cjarman@wweek.com. Fax: 243-1115.

WEDNESDAY, DEC. 14 Joe Bonamassa

[GUITAR HERO] There’s a thin line between aficionado and fetishist ’midst the upper register of electric-guitar devotees, but Joe Bonamassa—whose touring entourage includes a former Secret Service agent hired to protect the cherished favorite of his 300-some variants—seems quite literally born to the instrument. Or ever since his guitar shop-owning parents pushed the prodigy toward the stage in late grade school, anyway: Bonamassa first opened for B.B. King at age 12. As much touring in support of his new Les Paul Gibson model and related gear (he’s about to unveil a signature wah pedal) as 12th solo album Dust Bowl, the acknowledged modern master of the blues lick has been selling out venues around the world, though his swaggering fretwork on “Crossroads” suggests less infernal transaction than Suzuki Method immersion. JAY HORTON. Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall, 1037 SW Broadway, 248-4335. 8 pm. $56.50-$88. All ages.

The Knux, Jordy Towers

[EXPERIMENTAL HIP-HOP] These days, rap stars want to be rock stars; the emotionally dark lyrics and live-fastdie-young lifestyles of today’s popular hip-hop artists are closer to Kurt Cobain’s than Big Daddy Kane’s. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but sometimes the emulation is taken too far, especially when guys like Lil Wayne and Kid Cudi think they can play real instruments (which they can’t). New Orleansbred hip-hop duo the Knux is different. These MCs know their music theory. Brothers Kentrell “Krispy” Lindsey and Alvin “Joey” Lindsey sing, rap and produce—many times with live instrumentation—refreshingly creative music that mixes elements of rock, electronica and pop. Their sophomore album, Eraser, continues to push the group’s sonically experimental sound but adds even more live guitar to the mix. The duo’s lyrics, just like on previous projects, mainly concentrate on poppin’

bottles and sexin’ models, but they work because, unlike their counterparts, these guys really are rock stars. REED JACKSON. Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside St., 231-9663. 9 pm. $10 advance, $12 day of show. 21+.

Empty Space Orchestra, Black Pussy, Frogburd

[THUNDER AND LIGHTNING] This writer truly believes in the defining power of a band’s physical roots. For Bend’s Empty Space Orchestra, the stress is on the boundless spaces and wild abandon that somehow seeped from town to sound. The quintet’s weighty self-titled album was engineered by Robert Cheek, whose work with RX Bandits and the Deftones showed a keen ear for progressive and borderline-experimental rock. ESO seems to like its place in obscurity, touting the “most won’t understand us” card. Fact is, the band’s many entry points—its spacey interludes, heavy fits of punk, stop-on-a-dime jams and crisp percussion—ensure an upswell in its devoted fan base, wanted or not. MARK STOCK. Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., 2883895. 8:30 pm. $5. 21+.

THURSDAY, DEC. 15 Howe Gelb, Jesse Sykes and the Sweet Hereafter, Tracy Shedd

[ALT-COUNTRYISH] Howe Gelb’s complicated and jam-packed discography is rather too much to get into here. Let it suffice to say, he’s released 30 or so unpredictable albums on his own and with the now-legendary band he founded in the desert 26 years ago, Giant Sand. You may also know Gelb, a talented multi-instrumentalist and songwriter, from his frequent collaborations with Portland’s M. Ward. Picking through Gelb’s solo discography reveals varying degrees of twang and experimentation (which is perhaps what earned him that whole “godfather of alt-country” rep), but the song-

CONT. on page 29

TOP FIVE ACTUAL LINES FROM TASHA MILLER PRESS MAILINGS. 5. “MY PRESENCE WILL BE COMMMANDING. MY REPERTOIRE SENSITIVE AND FULL OF GOODNESS. MY ARRANGEMENTS PRACTICALLY ILLEGAL. MY VOICE OF REASON RIGHT ON.” 4. “my new seamstress from portland opera’s costume shop is already hard at work. brand new REAL bow ties for my boys on the stand...TOP SHELF all the way.” 3. [Pianist Andrew Oliver is] “young, strong, SMART, energetic, eats TONS of vegetables and is a complete bad ass on the piano. (has suspenders.)” 2. “WE DRESS FORMALLY AND EXPECT YOU TO DO THE SAME. TIME FOR YOUR BEST SELF. i’ll be in some 30 yards of fabric, showdogs encased in a custom flamenco bodice.” 1. “i slept with a highlighter in my pocket last night. isn’t that ridiculous? i woke up laughing and pondering self-realizations. it was an orange one, stuffed in the pocket of my red robe. what was i thinking?...at this point, i wouldn’t blame you for wanting to block me as a sender.” SEE IT: Portland jazz singer Tasha Miller plays Jimmy Mak’s on Thursday, Dec. 15. $25 (benefit for Chapman Elementary School). First set (7:30 pm) is all ages.

Q&A: DINOSAUR JR.’S LOU BARLOW THE UNDERGROUND ICON TALKS BAND FIGHTS, BLOOD AND HENRY ROLLINS. BY MATTHEW SIN GE R

243-2122

When a band chooses to reproduce one of its albums live in its entirety, usually it selects either the universally regarded masterpiece or a record representing a significant milestone in the group’s career. That’s why Dinosaur Jr.’s decision to perform 1988’s Bug for an entire tour is a bit perplexing. It’s an odd album to celebrate, at least for the guys who made it. Recorded at the height of tensions eroding the legendary indie-rock power trio—singer-guitarist J Mascis axed bassist and co-founder Lou Barlow not long after its release—the album was hastily written to capitalize on the success of its predecessor, 1987’s You’re Living All Over Me, with almost zero input from Barlow and drummer Emmett “Murph” Murphy. Despite being a glorified solo album for Mascis, he’s referred to Bug as “the album I’m least happy with of anything I’ve done.” Why, then, after an unlikely 2005 reunion that’s so far generated two more excellent records, go back and open those old wounds? “I don’t know. It’s a good gimmick,” Barlow says. “It’s probably a good way to jack up the ticket prices a little bit.” Of course, the sound of a band bursting apart can sometimes make for a thrilling listen. Bug starts with the definitive Dinosaur Jr. anthem, “Freak Scene”—ironically, for a band whose members could barely stand each other at the time, a plainspoken ode to friendship and community— and ends with the dirgelike psychodrama “Don’t,” featuring Barlow repeatedly screaming the Mascispenned lyric “Why don’t you like me?!” for five intense minutes. Although created in passiveaggressive tumult, Bug stands as a fitting cap to one of the greatest three-album runs in underground music history. And while it might not have been the intent, revisiting the record some two decades later has helped the band reclaim the album for itself. “In a certain way, we’ve conquered the negativity I associate with that record by playing it out, like, 20 times,” Barlow says. “It’s kind of killed the bad vibe around it, which is pretty cool.”

WW: What are you memories of recording Bug? Lou Barlow: We had quite a bit of success with You’re Living All Over Me, and the feeling within the band, at least from J, was that we got everything we wanted. It was almost like doing this third record was just something we had to do. J approached it absolutely drained of enthusiasm. He was still shooting out amazing riffs and stuff, but there was this real sense of duty to the whole thing. J just seemed really sick of me and Murph. He was just so cranky. What are your feelings toward “Freak Scene”? At the time, I thought it was kind of a cheap shot. I was like, “That’s kind of an obvious one there, J.” Of course, it’s great. It’s a totally cool song. At the time, though, it seemed a little simplistic compared to the other songs he was coming up with. He was great at crafting these off-kilter songs with not really orchestral but pretty ambitious structures, and it seemed like “Freak Scene” was not that ambitious. But I’m a pop music fan, so I get it. Is it true you coughed up blood after recording “Don’t”? It wasn’t a deep-red blood, it was just an irritation of the throat. I didn’t permanently injure myself or anything. But J wrote this fucking nasty song for me to sing, and it was obviously such a dig, so I was like, “OK, buddy, if that’s what you want me to do, I’ll fucking do it. If that’s where we’re at, this is what’ll happen.” I dedicated myself to it. A live interview every night of the tour seems like the last thing J would ever want to do. Yeah, but it’s with Henry Rollins. That’s kind of an offer you can’t refuse. And J’s changed a lot. I always felt he could practically have his own whacked-out talk show. He’s got this incredible anti-charisma where, when he’s in the right state, he can be really funny. He can be very charismatic, in his non-charismatic way. SEE IT: Dinosaur Jr. plays the Crystal Ballroom on Friday, Dec. 16, with Scratch Acid and host/interviewer Henry Rollins. 8 pm. $25 advance, $30 day of show. All ages.

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writer tends to write rather sad and profound material in each of his vastly different contexts. Gelb is touring on this year’s strange, excellent, flamenco-tinted Alegrias, but there’s really no telling what he’ll be playing. Don’t forget to come early for Seattle’s Jesse Sykes. CASEY JARMAN. Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside St., 231-9663. 9 pm. $14 advance, $16 day of show. 21+.

Tasha Miller & The Educated Band

See Top Five, page 27. Jimmy Mak’s, 221 NW 10th Ave., 295-6542. 7:30 pm. $25. 21+.

Last Watch, Sugar Sugar Sugar

[HONKY-TONK PUNK] If you’re interested in seeing Portland’s Last Watch, here’s your chance. The Kenton Club’s dive-bar trappings are a perfect complement to Last Watch’s garage-born proto-rock. A buzzsaw guitar provides the framework for Last Watch’s aesthetic, with story songs and singalong choruses rounding out the group’s barband credentials. The duo of John Johnson (of Hillstomp fame) and Scott McDougall has yet to write a song you can’t pump a fist to. Last Watch accomplishes a feat perfected by all the best bar bands: managing to sound sloppy while keeping its music under tight-fisted control. SHANE DANAHER. Kenton Club, 2025 N Kilpatrick St., 285-3718. 9 pm. Free. 21+.

The Underscore Orkestra, Mr. Crab Feathers

[KLEZMER SWING] When I first moved to Portland, I wandered into the Red & Black Cafe and was charmed by the Underscore Orkestra. The pinwheeling gypsy carnival—fronted by accordion, violin, guitars and various horns— brought back memories of the great French documentary film Latcho Drom. Couples of every assortment held each other and careened from the tiny dance floor to the patio and back. Dressed like Old World traveling musicians, the Orkestra could have waltzed into the Northwest from the French Quarter, but its members hail from all over the country. Recently the group has been all over Europe as well, and it now employs a full-time dancer in addition to the instrumentalists. The group boasts 17 members past and present, but each show is different: Come see what formation the Orkestra will fly in tonight. JOHN ISAACSON. Mississippi Pizza, 3552 N Mississsippi Ave., 288-3231. 9 pm. $6. 21+.

Strangled Darlings

[DEVIL FOLK] Strangled Darlings— the duo of mandolin- and banjoplucker George Veech and violinist-cellist Jessica Anderly— hammers out a strange blend of styles wrought by a strange combination of musicians. Anderly, a trained classical musician, and Veech, a self-taught madman, craft a demonic yet cohesive vaudevillian horror show combining everything from stompy Tom Waits murder ballads to operatic swells of ethereal harmonics, heralding hymnal bursts and dark folk, while Veech yowls as the deranged preacher to Anderly’s angelic soothsayer. With this year’s tight The Devil in Outer Space: An Operetta, the duo has found a wild, challenging and often jarring sound all its own—one that’s at once unsettling and hypnotic. AP KRYZA. White Eagle Saloon, 836 N Russell St., 282-6810. 8:30 pm. Free. 21+.

FRIDAY, DEC. 16 Portland Cello Project Emily Wells, members of Blind Pilot and the Alialujah Choir

[CELLOS ROASTING ON AN OPEN FIRE] A good thing about the holiday season is it brings people, particularly musicians, together. As is the case for the Holiday Showdown with the Portland Cello Project and its friends. “Friends” meaning accomplished musicians

THIS IS HOWE DO IT: Howe Gelb plays Doug Fir Lounge on Thursday. Emily Wells, Israel Nebeker and Ryan Dobrowski (Blind Pilot); the Alialujah Choir; and percussionists Rachel Blumberg (M. Ward, Bright Eyes) and Matt Berger (Musee Mecanique). If you know the Portland Cello Project, you won’t be surprised when you hear covers of everything from Bach to Lil’ Wayne played with eight cellos, woodwind and brass sections. Keep in mind that this is a holiday function and those sporting the tackiest and ugliest holiday sweaters will reap the reward of VIP seating (not joking). EMILEE BOOHER. Aladdin Theater, 3017 SE Milwaukie Ave., 234-9694. 8 pm. $15 (minors must be accompanied by a parent). 21+.

Holcombe Waller with Justin Harris and Danny Seim (of Menomena), Ritchie Young (of Loch Lomond) and Alina Hardin

[FINE FOLK ARTS] Local composer, singer and performance artist Holcombe Waller gives Portland a number of reasons to be proud (or jealous, perhaps) of its arts and music scenes. The Yale graduate has four fine albums and a freshly awarded $50,000 United States Artists grant under his belt. Waller’s most defining characteristic may be his perfectly pitched, silky and slightly androgynous voice—one that’s packed with precision and delicacy. His latest album, Into the Dark Unknown, features full-force vocals in a compilation of tender and poetic pop-folk songs that grew out of a musical theater production he put together and performed in 2008. Tonight, the busy Waller will be accompanied by locals Justin Harris and Danny Seim (of Menomena), Ritchie Young (of Loch Lomond) and singer-songwriter Alina Hardin. EMILEE BOOHER. Alberta Rose Theatre, 3000 NE Alberta St., 719-6055. 8 pm. $20 (minors must be accompanied by a parent or guardian). All ages.

Dinosaur Jr., Scratch Acid, Pierced Arrows

See music feature, page 27. Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside St., 2250047. 8 pm. $25 advance, $30 day of show. All ages.

The Angry Orts, Tennis Pro, HelloKopter

[POP GONE ROCK] “The Trend” is a billowy play of drums and vocals ribboned together with speed-oflight stutter and sting. The Angry Orts’ track is less than two minutes long but filled with blood-pumping power-pop guitar riffs that will keep your heart racing long after Sara Hernandez lets out her last harmonic screech. Hernandez’s Portland outfit was widely praised for its 2010 sophomore album, which demonstrated the foursome’s ability to meander through blues, New Wave and riot grrrl genres from track to track. The gang was also

featured on the PDX Pop Now! CD compilation last year and the next and went on to play MFNW last September. The Orts’ plans for the colder months include finishing up a few songs for their next album, due out spring or summer 2012, and playing this, the Orts’ last show of the year. NIKKI VOLPICELLI. Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside St., 2319663. 9 pm. $8. 21+.

Onuinu, DJ Liz B, Breakfast Mountain (DJ set), The Sex Life DJs (Tender Loving Empire holiday party)

[PARTY DOWN] Leave it to Tender Loving Empire to throw a holiday party worth attending. Although the beloved Portland label’s roster generally leans toward indie pop, this night is all about dancing, courtesy of DJ sets from throwback synth collective Sex Life and Liz B and a live performance by funky, house-inflected beatmaker Onuinu. They’re calling it a winter formal, but as someone who’s thrown a few formals in the past, believe me: Eventually the blazers and turtlenecks come off, and the shit gets more unhinged than most “casual” house parties ever do. Let me just say this: I don’t know if the Ella Street’s building has a hot tub in it, but if it does, the owners might want to plan on draining and cleaning it the next morning. MATTHEW SINGER. Ella Street Social Club, 714 SW 20th Place, 227-0116. 9 pm. $3-$10 (sliding scale). 21+.

Intervision

[SOUL] When Portland sextet Intervision burst onto the scene with 2007’s Shades of Neptune, the band had solidified its ultra-smooth blend of old-school and futuristic soul and funk, recalling everything from Jamiroquai to Prince. That sound has since evolved unexpectedly further, with the band augmenting its vibe by adding everything from New Orleans funk to jazz, gospel and old-fashioned baby-makin’ crooning courtesy of vocal heavyweight Paul Creighton. Where once the band sounded content in its sultry niche, it has now exploded into one of the most well-rounded soul-fusion acts in town. Opener the Bylines was once known as ’60s soul throwback outfit Marianna and the Baby Vamps, and now performs almost all original material. This is the Bylines’ first show. AP KRYZA. Jimmy Mak’s, 221 NW 10th Ave., 2956542. 8 pm. $12. All ages.

My Autumn’s Done Come, Yours, And And And

See album review, page 29. Langano Lounge, 1435 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 664-6140. 9 pm. Free. 21+.

No Statik

[HARDCORE PUNK] I probably don’t need to do much more than sketch No Statik’s pedigree to get bodies

CONT. on page 30 Willamette Week DECEMBER 14, 2011 wweek.com

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Willamette Week DECEMBER 14, 2011 wweek.com

Reel Big Fish, Streetlight Manifesto, Lionize, Rodeo Ruby Love

Awkward Energy, Ross McLeron and the World Radiant, Fun Yeti

[MULTITALENTED ART ROCK] Only in Portland will you find a scrappy, charming rock band with a lineup of cartoonists and zinesters—in this case, Jesse Reklaw (Slow Wave), Gariet Cowin (Don’t Stop Me Now), Orly Marella Cowin (Backstage Pass) and Shea Mossefin. Cowin has a killer set of pipes that put her on a plain with the Gossip’s Beth Ditto; Reklaw shares vocal duties, adding the same kind of twist of dynamics that made the Pixies and the B-52’s great. Fun Yeti has been rocking the house-party circuit for years, cutting its teeth covering everything from the Beatles to the Yeah Yeah Yeahs. For anyone still familiar with the ’90s alternative-rock explosion and Lollapalooza, I recommend their self-released five-song EP or this show tonight. Ross McLeron, elusive ex-frontman of beloved teen pop group Southern Belle, is also on the jam-packed bill. JOHN ISAACSON. Backspace, 115 NW 5th Ave., 2482900. 7 pm. Free. All ages.

Purple and Green, Jeffrey Jerusalem, DJ Hot Air

[ELECTRO-FUNK] A Purple and Green show is exactly that—a performance, an act. The guys know how to entertain, how to work a crowd by turning just the right knob or hitting just the right sexy note for just the right amount of time to get the crowd hyped. Adam Forkner and Justin Leon Johnson met after Johnson crashed a street performance by Rob Walmart, one of Forkner’s other bands, and a new group emerged—one that sounds like a dubstep Boys II Men fronted by R. Kelly singing Britney Spears-style lyrics. This synth science, constructed to be both slippery and danceable, is something the discerning Portland dance fan should not miss. At the last show I attended, Mr. Green gracefully air-humped the stage in nothing but booty shorts and a silky emerald sarong. NIKKI VOLPICELLI. Mississippi Pizza, 3552 N Mississippi Ave., 2883231. 9 pm. $7. 21+.

Trashcan Joe (9 pm)

$16 ADVANCE

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EMILY WELLS

into the eardrum-crushing cave that is the Know tonight. So let’s play the “members of” game with this San Francisco beast. It goes a little something like this: Scrotum Grinder, Look Back and Laugh, Scholastic Deth, What Happens Next?, End of the Century Party…I could go on. I won’t. That incomplete list right there is a who’s who of hardcore’s fairly recent history, and No Statik is just as fierce, fast and fucking great as you’d expect. Seems the old “punk for life” promise actually meant something to these guys, which is pretty touching—and totally killer. CHRIS STAMM. The Know, 2026 NE Alberta St., 473-8729. 8 pm. Cover. 21+.

SATURDAY, DEC. 17

JESSE SYKES

& THE SWEET HEREAFTER

THE TUMBLERS

FRIDAY DECEMBER 16 •

FRIDAY-SUNDAY

See Primer, page 33. Wonder Ballroom, 128 NE Russell St., 2848686. 7 pm. $20 advance, $23 day of show. All ages.

AN EVENING OF PDX ROOTS-ROCK & AMERICANA

ANGRY ORTS

MUSIC

Forget Jeff Mangum: Occupy Wall Street’s soundtrack belongs to Cap’n James Cook, faithful leader of frugal local vintage outfit Trashcan Joe. Often plucking his trademark “trashcanjo” (a banjo constructed from a trash can), Cook and his ragtag band mix early jazz, Depression-era music and the sea-shanty ways of an accordion. Sounds like a recipe for melancholy, but Trashcan Joe balances the themes of old struggles with a whimsical, parody-loving skip in its step. It’s the kind of optimism the 99 percent needs, historically based but forward-looking. Expect TJ’s new album—due out next spring, it will be the first since 2007’s Real Life—to do the same. MARK STOCK. Secret Society Lounge, 116

NE Russell St., 493-3600. 9 pm. Free. 21+.

Spookies, Woolen Men, Paper Brain

[CAMPY GARAGE ROCK] The Shaky Hands, who haven’t played a show in a year and may well never play again, were one of the greatest rock bands ever to reside in Portland. So when three of the band’s exmembers start up a new group, Willamette Week listens. Spookies, fronted by ex-Hand Mayhaw Hoons and also featuring ex-drummer Colin Anderson and ex-keyboardist Alex Arrowsmith, is well worth listen-

ing to. The band’s three-song demo is full of lo-fi, syrupy garage-rock goodness that reminds more of the Minders (with whom Hoons plays), the Strokes and perhaps some early They Might Be Giants than it does of the Shaky Hands. But it also sounds quite good. Spookies play their first gig at the Know tonight. I’ll be the guy yelling for the band’s hit-single-to-be, “Sleepaway Camp III.” CASEY JARMAN. The Know, 2026 NE Alberta St., 473-8729. 8 pm. Cover. 21+.

CONT. on page 33

ALBUM REVIEWS

LOVERS I WAS THE EAST (BADMAN RECORDINGS) [EARLY ELECTRO-POP] I’m not sure how big of a market there really is for I Was the East, a compilation of alternate versions and B-sides from Portland-based Lovers’ masterful 2009 record, I Am the West. But for die-hards (I’m one), the collection is indispensable. Half the songs on this new digital-only release are “original versions” of the West album’s most memorable tunes. Two single-worthy cuts, “Igloos for Ojos” and “Tonight,” start the disc. Both feature imposing, Pixies-esque guitarwork that knifes across the top of the track while Carolyn Berk (who now runs Lovers, her old solo project, as a trio) delivers her calm, breathy vocals unaffected by the feedback spikes. The warm electronic layering from the songs’ 2009 reworkings are replaced in these 2006 recordings by strings and punchier synth work, but the spirit is the same. The song most drastically made-over from West to East is “Stay Another Night,” which appears here as a slow, finger-picked ballad. It’s a lovely version, though I prefer the faster, shinier 2009 take—it’s just as tender but benefits from strong harmonies. Some of the unreleased tracks on East—like “Dark Star” and “This is the Last Song”—are really Frankensteined versions of other Lovers’ songs, making them interesting for those curious in Berk’s songwriting craft, but not essential for the casual fan of West. But the two true originals here—the infectious and sweet “How Beautiful You Are” and the striking, minimal “Rabbits”—are absolutely essential. Casual fans should download those two tracks from this digital-only release and then buy West, which, on the whole, contains the superior versions of some of Berk’s best songs. Ideally, this new collection would appear as a second disc on a reissued West. That album certainly deserves another look. CASEY JARMAN.

MY AUTUMN’S DONE COME PAPER FLOWERS (SELF-RELEASED)

[NOT FALL YET] On the song that gave My Autumn’s Done Come its name, country singer Lee Hazlewood croons, “Let those I-don’t-care days begin/ I’m tired of holding my stomach in.” The local quintet, formed last year by five recently transplanted Eugenians, would do well to follow Hazlewood’s lead. MADC’s debut full-length, Paper Flowers, is an album that sounds as though it’s sucking in its gut—but looks best when it lets it all hang out. The most interesting moments on Paper Flowers’ nine tracks of genial rock are the spots where frontman Andrew Hanna’s exceedingly careful, assiduously metronomic songwriting loosens up, letting through some needed verve and allowing the band’s soul and country influences to peek out. On “Burnside Bridge,” for example, an electric guitar emerges from the song’s chug-along rhythm for a thrilling but brief solo. “Guillotine” is sharpest when the track’s steady two-step stumbles momentarily into a noisy dervish. And on “Broadway Bridge,” the highlight is a woozy, almost-psychedelic guitar passage that is also, unfortunately, fleeting. The band has room for improvement in other areas: While singer Lilly Maher proves her vocal chops on the jazzy “Wishes,” hitting some thrilling, growling lows, Hanna’s voice wants for force and range. Mostly, though, MADC’s just gotta let its freak flag fly. And the young group, still finding its footing, has time for that—its autumn’s far from here. JONATHAN FROCHTZWAJG. SEE IT: My Autumn’s Done Come plays Langano Lounge, 1435 SE Hawthorne Blvd., on Friday, Dec. 16. 9 pm. Free. 21+. Lovers’ I Was the East is out now on iTunes and other digital outlets.

Willamette Week DECEMBER 14, 2011 wweek.com

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SUNDAY-TUESDAY

SUNDAY, DEC. 18 The Tiptons, The Quadraphonnes

[SAXY TWO-BY-FOUR] Named after a female midcentury jazzer who assumed a male identity, NYC-Seattle-Wisconsin women’s sax quartet (with drummer John Ewing) the Tiptons ranges way beyond straight-ahead jazz into various world-music regions, including Balkan, Latin, funk, New Orleans groove and more. The arrangements on its 2010 album, Strange Flower, approach MarchFourth party proportions. With Portland’s own dynamic female sax quartet opening, this should be a dream gig for saxophonophiles. BRETT CAMPBELL. Alberta Rose Theatre, 3000 NE Alberta St., 719-6055. 7 pm. $12 advance, $15 day of show (minors must be accompanied by a parent or guardian). All ages.

The Fling, Yukon Blonde, Battleme

[INDIE ROCK] Among the Fling and Yukon Blonde’s strongest points of recommendation is both groups’ dedication to immaculate, roomy production values. Both the Fling’s What I’ve Seen EP and Yukon Blonde’s Fire/Water EP take the respective quartets’ guitar-based formats and turn them into midrange, midtempo symphonies. Of course, high-quality songwriting doesn’t hurt either group’s cause. The Fling’s “Teeth” and Yukon Blonde’s “Water” both adopt a loping tempo that allows the bands to stack precise imagery and reverby overtones on top of each other until the result becomes nothing short of cacophonous. These are two indie-rock groups that aren’t pushing the genre into new directions, but they’re more than comfortable showing their mastery of territory already explored. SHANE DANAHER. Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside St., 231-9663. 9 pm. $10 advance, $12 day of show. 21+.

Brandi Carlile, The Secret Sisters

[CRAZY/BEAUTIFUL] To some degree, comparisons with Patsy Cline would be inevitable even without the Nashville classics dotted throughout Brandi Carlile’s highly mutable set list. She encourages her audience—an eclectic crowd united in devotion whether first hearing the artist through lesbian community support or Grey’s Anatomy fandom— to yell out suggestions while drifting through a blend of adult contempo originals and wide-ranging cover versions (Stevie Nicks, Radiohead), and the pint-sized Washingtonian even manages to orchestrate threepart harmonies from the enamored throngs. Touring without a backing band on the heels of a recently released live album that co-starred the Seattle Symphony, the extent of her control seems all the more magnified as she captivates packed halls through measured bursts of those sinuous, affecting vocals alone. JAY HORTON. Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., 288-3895. 8 pm. Sold out. 21+.

Bright Archer, Itsy

[SONGS FOR WINTER] It’s inevitable that Johanna Kunin, a.k.a. Bright Archer, would elicit comparisons to other piano-throttling female singersongwriters such as Tori Amos and Fiona Apple. In truth, Kunin’s wintery, dreamlike touch is closer to the gauzier dreamscapes of Kate Bush and Joanna Newsom. On her latest, Hidden Systems—her first under the Bright Archer name—the Portland songwriter collaborated with producer Skyler Norwood to craft a melodically lush, instrumentally graceful record. Although it’s decorated with orchestral arrangements, vibraphone and other accoutrements, Kunin’s powerful voice and snowy piano remain at the center, creating an album perfect for the Northwest’s chillier time of year. MATTHEW SINGER. Rontoms, 600 E Burnside St., 236-4536. 9 pm. Free. 21+.

MONDAY, DEC. 19

Portland Metal Winter Olympics: Taurus, Foal

[FEATS OF STRENGTH] Now, I don’t know a lot about heavy metal—I played a lot of Magic: The Gathering as a teen, so I do know what it’s like to be picked on—but I do like a good, old-fashioned showdown. WW’s own Nathan Carson does, too, hence his winter concert series at East End, the Portland Metal Winter Olympics. At each PMWO show, two bands—in this case, Taurus (which features members of Dark Castle and Purple Rhinestone Eagle) and Foal (whose singers sound like they are screaming and barfing at the same time)—go head-to-head in a battle-of-the-bands type thing. Before you ask, no, the winners don’t disembowel the losers and drink their blood: The winner takes home some gift certificates and prepares for the semifinals (with bands like Ritual Healing, who won the first heat) later this winter. Sounds a little warm and fuzzy, we admit. But then, if the Winter Olympics have taught us anything, it’s that welltimed tire-iron attacks can’t win you a gold medal—they can only get you into gross homemade porn videos. CASEY JARMAN. East End, 203 SE Grand Ave. 9 pm. Cover. 21+.

Anhedonist, Ritual Necromancy, Elitist, Zarathustra

[PAINFUL DEATH] Anhedonia (mental disorder): the inability to derive pleasure from activities one usually finds enjoyable. For reference, see Ingmar Bergman’s films and every human being in Portland come midMarch. Anhedonist (Seattle band): unremittingly grim death/doom act that isolates the tortured sound of joy being sundered from earthly existence and stretches it into 10-minute dirges that are nearly as beautiful as they are hellish. For reference, see Winter, Corrupted, Disembowelment and your own miserable fate as a worm hors d’oeuvre. Also see this show, because opener Ritual Necromancy isn’t exactly a slouch in the despair department, as evidenced by the recently released Oath of the Abyss, a sinister, suffocating death-

MUSIC

metal descent. CHRIS STAMM. Tonic Lounge, 3100 NE Sandy Blvd., 2380543. 9 pm. Cover. 21+.

TUESDAY, DEC. 20

SOMETHING FOR EVERYONE

Themes, The We Shared Milk, Sioux Falls

[POST-ROCK DIRGE] You’d expect a band whose discography features such titles as War Over the Great Plains to have a grandiose sense of scope, and Themes would not disappoint you in that assumption. The trio—which moved to Portland by way of Santa Rosa, then by way of Minneapolis—shows stylistic traces of friends and occasional collaborators Minus the Bear, but whereas MTB has taken slick post-rock in the direction of the dance floor, Themes has pulled the genre relentlessly toward the downtempo regions of the dirge. The Phantom, Themes’ third LP, offers eight mordant takes on that particular musical mode. After six years and three albums, it’s hard to argue that Themes hasn’t laid a respectable claim to these very specific sonic stomping grounds. SHANE DANAHER. Bunk Bar, 1028 SE Water Ave., 894-9708. 10 pm. $3. 21+.

KEITH JARRETT Rio

PINK K MARTINI Retrospective $12.95-cd

$12.95-cd/$19.95-lp

JOHN DOE Keeper

$13.95-cd/$15.95-lp

DRAKE Take Care

$14.95-cd/$13.95-lp

THE ROOTS undun

TOM WAITS Bad As Me

JOHN ZORN A Dreamers Christmas

GLEE The Christmas Album Vol. 2

$25.95-2cd

ADELE 21

$12.95-cd

Murderess, Terokal, Night Nurse

[CRUST] Portland newcomer Night Nurse, which self-identifies as crust/ death metal, will be playing live for the first time tonight, while the fairly green Terokal, classically trained in Profane Existence’s school of spiky tuneage, will be celebrating the release of its first record. I would implore these upstarts to pay close attention to the expert demonstration put on by headliner Murderess, whose The Last Thing You Will Ever See, released last year, is a nearly flawless crust album. Melodic as it is menacing, with a driving D-beat pulse patient enough to let metallic flourishes hitch a ride, Murderess’ syncretic approach to harsh music makes for a consistently thrilling listen. CHRIS STAMM. The Know, 2026 NE Alberta St., 473-8729. 8 pm. Cover. 21+.

PRIMER

$12.95-cd $17.95-dlx cd or lp

$14.95-cd

$11.95-cd

Sale prices good thru 12/25/11

WE’RE MORE THAN A RECORD STORE! WE HAVE GREAT GIFT IDEAS LIKE MUGS, TURNTABLES, SKULLCANDY HEADPHONES & COOL POSTERS!

BY MATTH EW SIN GE R

REEL BIG FISH Formed: 1992 in Huntington Beach, Calif. Sounds like: The soundtrack to a GoGurt commercial. For fans of: Less Than Jake, Save Ferris, Buck-O-Nine, Goldfinger. Latest release: 2010 greatest-hits collection A Best of Us for the Rest of Us. Why you care: Ska isn’t dead! All right, that’s a lie, but some bands are still valiantly propping its corpse upright, and few have kept the Weekend at Bernie’s-style party going as long as Reel Big Fish. In the mid-’90s, there wasn’t a more quintessential Southern California ska-punk act. With a closet full of Hawaiian shirts, Hypercolor-bright horns and an ironic love of 1980s butt rock and New Wave music, the Fish took advantage of that brief window of time when the cultural pendulum swung from overbearing moroseness to over-the-top zaniness and scored a gold record with 1996’s Turn the Radio Off. After America came to its senses, gave the porkpie hats to Goodwill and canceled the trombone lessons, RBF could have jumped off a bridge and no one would’ve noticed, but it’s actually been a quietly busy decade-and-a-half for the band. It has continued releasing albums, battled Jive Records for control of its catalog, and gone through enough lineup changes to leave singer, guitarist and Ace Ventura look-alike Aaron Barrett the lone original member. Of course, ska isn’t designed to age well—these guys looked silly dressing like overgrown seventhgraders in their 20s; imagine how it looks 15 years later—but RBF might have found a solution. Cartoon characters never get old; thus, neither does cartoon music. SEE IT: Reel Big Fish plays Wonder Ballroom on Friday, Dec. 16, with Streetlight Manifesto, Lionize and Rodeo Ruby Love. 7 pm. $20 advance, $23 day of show. All ages.

USED NEW &s & VINYL VD CDs, D

EM gift certificates available in any amount!

DOWNTOWN • 1313 W. Burnside • 503.274.0961 EASTSIDE • 1931 NE Sandy Blvd. • 503.239.7610 BEAVERTON • 3290 SW Cedar Hills Blvd. • 503.350.0907 FOR ANY & ALL USED CDs, DVDs & VINYL OPEN EVERYDAY AT 9A.M. | WWW.EVERYDAYMUSIC.COM Willamette Week DECEMBER 14, 2011 wweek.com

Thursday, Dec 15th

A CELTIC CHRISTMAS with

MOLLY’S REVENGE & CHRISTA BURCH Friday, Dec 16th AN EVENING WITH

HOLCOMBE WALLER

RITCHIE YOUNG, ALINA HARDIN & MEMBERS OF MENOMENA

WITH SPECIAL GUESTS

Wednesday 12-14

3 GLORIAS

FLAMENCO EN VIVO 7PM ALL AGES

Friday 12-16

A VERY ZOMBIE CHRISTMAS

EXOTICA I N T E R N AT I O N A L C LU B

FOR

MEN

Portland’s Premiere Gentlemen’s Club

* EXOTICA VALUE DAYS * Premium for less than the Price of Well BACARDI RUM SUNDAYS — Light, Dark, Oakheart JACK DANIELS WHISKEY MONDAYS — Jack Daniels, Jack Daniels Honey EL JIMADOR TEQUILA TUESDAYS — El Jimador Silver & Gold

Madame Torment, Wild Dogs, and Toxic Zombie prepare you for the fat man’s visit. Hosted by Nik Sin. Zombie costume contest. Bring a new unwrapped toy or stuffed animal for a child in need! Donate and get a free raffle ticket for door prizes. ALL AGES, 8PM

DSL COMEDY

THIRSTY THURSDAY & FRIDAYS — Grey Goose (All Flavors) & Hennessy Vs Cognac

CONVENIENTLY LOCATED NEAR DOWNTOWN, PDX & DELTA PARK

240 NE COLUMBIA BLVD., PORTLAND, OR 97211 • 503-285-0281 34

Willamette Week DECEMBER 14, 2011 wweek.com

LIVE WIRE

MUSICAL GUEST - THE LONELY FOREST

Sunday, Dec 18th

the TIPTONS &

the QUADRAPHONNES

Wednesday, Dec 21st

SHED CULTURE LIVE! Thursday, Dec 22nd

MAGICAL STRINGS

CELTIC YULETIDE CONCERT

Wednesday, Dec 28th

THE BOBS

Hosted by

BRISKET LOVE-COX FREE IN THE SIDESHOW LOUNGE, 21+ 9PM

FREE UP

REGGAE NIGHT 10PM IN THE SIDESHOW LOUNGE, 21+

Saturday 12-17

STAHLWERKS

A NIGHT OF CLASSIC INDUSTRIAL, GOTH, AND HARD DANCE MUSIC. 10PM IN THE SIDESHOW LOUNGE, 21+

FIREBALL WHISKEY WEDNESDAYS — Fireball Whiskey

Saturday, Dec 17th

Sunday 12-18

KARAOKE ON THE BIG SCREEN WITH SEAN BAILEY 21+ 9PM

on sale now:

NEW YEARS EVE

WITH MARS RETRIEVAL UNIT, EXCELLENT GENTLEMEN, AND GARCIA BIRTHDAY BAND

AFTER CHRISTMAS HOLIDAY SHOW Thursday, Dec 29th

JERRY JOSEPH & THE JACKMORMONS with

BLACK PRAIRIE

Dec 30th and 31st

NEW YEAR’S EVE

3 SHOWS!

WITH

STORM LARGE with special guest HOLCOMBE WALLER

Alberta Rose Theatre (503) 764-4131 3000 NE Alberta AlbertaRoseTheatre.com

MUSIC CALENDAR = WW Pick. Highly recommended. Editor: Jonathan Frochtzwajg. TO HAVE YOUR EVENT LISTED, send show information at least two weeks in advance on the web at wweek.com/submitevents or (if you book a specific venue) enter your events at dbmonkey.com/wweek. Press kits, CDs and especially vinyl can be sent to Music Desk, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Please include show or release date information with all physical mailings. Email: music@wweek.com. For more listings, check out wweek.com.

[DEC. 14-20] The Heathman Restaurant and Bar 1001 SW Broadway Shirley Nanette

The Know

2026 NE Alberta St. The Mishaps...Whatever That Means, Lion Mouth

The Old Church

WED. DEC. 14 Afrique Bistro

102 NE Russell St. The Javier Nero Quintet

Al’s Den at the Crystal Hotel 303 SW 12th Ave. Sean Flinn

Alberta Street Public House 1036 NE Alberta St. Open Mic

Andina

1314 NW Glisan St. Toshi Onizuka

Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall

1037 SW Broadway Joe Bonamassa

Ash Street Saloon

225 SW Ash St. The Small Arms, Jacktown Road, The Warshers

Biddy McGraw’s

6000 NE Glisan St. Half-Step Shy

Brasserie Montmartre 626 SW Park Ave. Mary Flower

Camellia Lounge 510 NW 11th Ave.

Open Jazz Jam

The David Friesen Band

Stumbleweed

Dante’s

LaurelThirst

O’Connors

350 W Burnside St. Denizens, Little Volcano, Mr. Plow, Sick Broads

Doug Fir Lounge

830 E Burnside St. The Knux, Jordy Towers, Tope

Duff’s Garage

1635 SE 7th Ave. Suburban Slim’s Blues Jam (9:30 pm); High Flyer Trio (6 pm)

Ella Street Social Club 714 SW 20th Place Fever, Dead Ship Sailing, Pale Tourist

Holocene

1001 SE Morrison St. The Secret Drum Band, Marisa Anderson, 1939 Ensemble

Ivories Jazz Lounge and Restaurant

1435 NW Flanders St. Chuck Israels Jazz Orchestra (8:30 pm); Jim Templeton (5:30 pm)

Jade Lounge

2346 SE Ankeny St. Renee Muzquiz

Jimmy Mak’s

221 NW 10th Ave.

2958 NE Glisan St. Nathaniel Talbot, Brooks Robertson (9 pm); Michael Hurley & the Croakers (6 pm)

Lents Commons

9201 SE Foster Road Open Mic

McMenamins Edgefield Winery 2126 SW Halsey St., Troutdale Lloyd Jones

McMenamins Rock Creek Tavern

10000 Old Cornelius Pass Road, Hillsboro Billy D

Mississippi Pizza

3552 N Mississippi Ave. Bankrupt on Selling

Mississippi Studios

3939 N Mississippi Ave. Empty Space Orchestra, Black Pussy, Frogburd

Mount Tabor Theater

4811 SE Hawthorne Blvd. 3 Glorias (flamenco show)

Muddy Rudder Public House 8105 SE 7th Ave.

7850 SW Capitol Highway Kit Garoutte

Palace of Industry

5426 N Gay Ave. Flat Rock String Band

Plan B

1305 SE 8th Ave. Animism, Axxicorn, Pinscape

Press Club

2621 SE Clinton St. Swing Papillon

Someday Lounge

125 NW 5th Ave. Siren & the Sea, Kim DeLacy, Gabby Holt, Lillian Soderman

Star Theater

13 NW 6th Ave. Phantasmagoria

The Blue Diamond

2016 NE Sandy Blvd. The Fenix Project Jam Session

The Gelato & Yogurt Lounge

13611 NW Cornell Road Cody Weathers

1422 SW 11th Ave. Conchords Chorale

The Woods

6637 SE Milwaukie Ave. Sun Angle, Pigeons, Yards

Thirsty Lion

71 SW 2nd Ave. Eric John Kaiser

Tony Starlight’s

3728 NE Sandy Blvd. Tony Starlight Christmas Extravaganza

Touché Restaurant and Billiards 1425 NW Glisan St. Tom Grant and Shelley Rudolf

Trail’s End Saloon

1320 Main St., Oregon City Danny O’Brien & Ken Brewer

Twilight Café and Bar 1420 SE Powell Blvd. Air Guitar

Vie de Boheme 1530 SE 7th Ave. Jay Koder

White Eagle Saloon 836 N Russell St. Cold Hard Ground

Wilfs Restaurant & Bar 800 NW 6th Ave.

Ron Steen with Rebecca Kilgore, Tony Pacini and Ed Bennett

Yukon Tavern

5819 SE Milwaukie Ave. Open Mic

THURS. DEC. 15 15th Avenue Hophouse 1517 NE Brazee St. Big North Duo

Backspace

115 NW 5th Ave. The Martyrs, Dogtooth, James Dean Kindle

Biddy McGraw’s

6000 NE Glisan St. Open Bluegrass Jam

Brasserie Montmartre 626 SW Park Ave. John “JB” Butler & Al Craido

Chapel Pub

Al’s Den at the Crystal Hotel

430 N Killingsworth St. Steve Kerin

Alberta Rose Theatre

350 W Burnside St. The Autonomics, Lumus, Rogue Shot

Alberta Street Public House

830 E Burnside St. Howe Gelb, Jesse Sykes and the Sweet Hereafter, Tracy Shedd

303 SW 12th Ave. Sean Flinn

3000 NE Alberta St. Molly’s Revenge, Christa Burch

1036 NE Alberta St. Old Custer, Izza Kate, On the Stairs

Andina

1314 NW Glisan St. Matices

Andrea’s Cha Cha Club 832 SE Grand Ave. Dina & Bamba Y Su Pilon D’Azucar with La Descarga Cubana

Dante’s

Doug Fir Lounge

Duff’s Garage

1635 SE 7th Ave. Russell Turner, Maria Webster, Jeff Boortz

Duff’s Garage

1635 SE 7th Ave. Phonic Wave (9 pm); Tough Lovepyle (6 pm)

Mississippi Studios

3939 N Mississippi Ave. Allen Stone, Reva Devito

Mock Crest Tavern 3435 N Lombard St. David Brothers

Muddy Rudder Public House 8105 SE 7th Ave. Lauren Sheehan Duo

Original Halibut’s II 2527 NE Alberta St. Terry Robb

Red Room

2530 NE 82nd Ave. T.O.A.S.T., Class War, The Xaggerations, Mohawk Yard

Roseland Theater

8 NW 6th Ave. Black Label Society, American Bastard, Proven

Sellwood Public House 8132 SE 13th Ave. Open Mic

Slim’s Cocktail Bar

8635 N Lombard St. Zach Zerzan, Slow Loris

Ted’s (at Berbati’s)

714 SW 20th Place Scrimshander, Fanno Creek, Pheasant

231 SW Ankeny St. Cut, Cut, Loose!: Christopher Neil Young, Ronne Molen, Scotty Del, Will West, All the Apparatus, Eddie Valiant

3130A SE Hawthorne Blvd. Songwriters Roundup

Ford Food and Drink

The Blue Diamond

Aura

Goodfoot Lounge

2016 NE Sandy Blvd. Tom Grant Jazz Jam Session

Holocene

3341 SE Belmont St. Alan Jones Jam

Artichoke Community Music

1022 W Burnside St. Bloco Alegria and His Incredible Bateria, DJ Digo

Ella Street Social Club

2505 SE 11th Ave. Nicole Campbell

2845 SE Stark St. Ari Joshua Trio

1001 SE Morrison St. Y La Bamba, Sean Flinn & The Royal We, Rememory

Ivories Jazz Lounge and Restaurant

1435 NW Flanders St. Jim Templeton with Karla Harris (8:30 pm); Laura Cunard (5:30 pm)

Jade Lounge

2346 SE Ankeny St. Colin Fisher Acoustic Oceans

Jimmy Mak’s

221 NW 10th Ave. Tasha Miller & The Educated Band (7:30 pm); An Acoustic Christmas with Wendy Goodwin (6:45 pm)

Kelly’s Olympian

426 SW Washington St. Harlowe and The Great North Woods, The Janks, Jo Schornikow, Scott Rudd

Kennedy School

5736 NE 33rd Ave. The Dimes, Centers

Kenton Club

2025 N Kilpatrick St. Last Watch, Sugar Sugar Sugar

Laughing Horse Books

12 NE 10th Ave. Nasalrod, Fleshlawn, The Hand That Bleeds (Audio Preservation Education Library benefit)

LaurelThirst

2958 NE Glisan St. Lincoln’s Beard, Sam Adams Band (9:30 pm); Lewi Longmire Band (6 pm)

McMenamins Rock Creek Tavern

10000 Old Cornelius Pass Road, Hillsboro Billy Kennedy

Mission Theater

1624 NW Glisan St. Damian Erskine Project

Mississippi Pizza

PIZZA PARTY: Purple & Green play Mississippi Pizza on Saturday.

3552 N Mississippi Ave. The Underscore Orkestra, Mr. Crab Feathers (9 pm); Michael Richardson (6 pm)

The Blue Monk

The Heathman Restaurant and Bar 1001 SW Broadway Johnny Martin

The Old Church

1422 SW 11th Ave. Michael Allen Harrison

Thirsty Lion

71 SW 2nd Ave. Lando Cal

Tiger Bar

317 NW Broadway Karaoke from Hell

Tonic Lounge

3100 NE Sandy Blvd. Muddy River Nightmare Band, Pink Slip, Isolated Cases

Tony Starlight’s

3728 NE Sandy Blvd. Tony Starlight Christmas Extravaganza

Trail’s End Saloon

1320 Main St., Oregon City Rae Gordon

Vino Vixens Wine Shop & Bar 2929 SE Powell Blvd. Richie Bean

White Eagle Saloon

836 N Russell St. Strangled Darlings (8:30 pm), Will West and Tanner Cundy (5:30 pm)

Wilfs Restaurant & Bar 800 NW 6th Ave. Greg Goebel Trio

FRI. DEC. 16 Al’s Den at the Crystal Hotel 303 SW 12th Ave. Sean Flinn

Aladdin Theater

3017 SE Milwaukie Ave. Portland Cello Project with Emily Wells, members of Blind Pilot and the Alialujah Choir

Alberta Rose Theatre

3000 NE Alberta St.

CONT. on page 36

Willamette Week DECEMBER 14, 2011 wweek.com

MUSIC

CALENDAR

BAR SPOTLIGHT VIVIANJOHNSON.COM

The Nutmeggers, Nicodemus Snow

Press Club

2621 SE Clinton St. Lara Michelle, Rob Stroup, Naomi Hooley

Red Room

2530 NE 82nd Ave. Contempt, Echoic, From Smoke, Foal

Slabtown

1033 NW 16th Ave. Beyond Veronica, Pynnacles, Paradise

Slim’s Cocktail Bar

8635 N Lombard St. Silverhawk, Drunk on Pines

Spare Room

4830 NE 42nd Ave. The Heavy Brothers

Star Theater

BURDEN OF PROOF: Soft-opened some four months ago in a space previously occupied by half of Cup and Saucer, Proof (3564 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 236-6001) is a welcome addition to Hawthorne’s relatively nightlife-light stretch. The bar’s menu, however, needs distilling. Proof’s Old Fashioned ($8) is made with a local whiskey and is properly stiff, but it lacks nuance. The Gentleman’s Ginger ($8) features housemade ginger syrup, which combined with ginger beer yields something like a Bulleit Bourbon fountain drink. Also a mixed bag is the cheese plate ($8), with fresh fruit and a good, strong blue cheese sharing plate space with baglunch-grade cheese and bread slices. Though the jury’s still out on Proof’s food and cocktails, the bar’s narrow, vintage-lamp digs incontestably have a comfortable, neighborhood-joint vibe, and its Best Coast-centric tap list (a pint from which costs just $2.75 during happy hour and all day Tuesday) is perfectly curated. On those points, the case is closed. JONATHAN FROCHTZWAJG.

13 NW 6th Ave. Rosehip Revue

Ted’s (at Berbati’s)

231 SW Ankeny St. Quick & Easy Boys, Yamn

The Foggy Notion

3416 N Lombard St. Ninja, Key of Solomon, ChildChildren

The Heathman Restaurant and Bar 1001 SW Broadway Karla Harris

The Know

2026 NE Alberta St. No Statik

The Old Church

1422 SW 11th Ave. Michael Allen Harrison

Thirsty Lion

71 SW 2nd Ave. The Boys Next Door

Tiger Bar

317 NW Broadway Fly Radio, The Twangshifters, Animal R&R Holcombe Waller with Justin Harris and Danny Seim (of Menomena), Ritchie Young (of Loch Lomond) and Alina Hardin

Alberta Street Public House 1036 NE Alberta St. Executive Swede (9:30 pm); Mikey’s Irish Jam (6:30 pm)

Andina

1314 NW Glisan St. Pete Krebs Trio

Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall

1037 SW Broadway The Canadian Tenors with the Oregon Symphony

Artichoke Community Music

3130A SE Hawthorne Blvd. Friday Night Coffeehouse

Ash Street Saloon

225 SW Ash St. Party Trigger, The Tanked, Stumblebum, The Protons

Backspace

115 NW 5th Ave. Adventures with Might, Pocketknife, Doubleplusgood

Biddy McGraw’s

6000 NE Glisan St. Mexican Gunfight (9:30 pm); Billy Kennedy & Jim Boyer (6 pm)

Brasserie Montmartre 626 SW Park Ave. Al Craido & Tablao

Buffalo Gap Saloon

6835 SW Macadam Ave. Matthew Lindley Commission

Camellia Lounge 510 NW 11th Ave. Her Ghost

Clyde’s Prime Rib

5474 NE Sandy Blvd. Norman Sylvester

Crystal Ballroom

1332 W Burnside St. Dinosaur Jr., Scratch Acid, Pierced Arrows

Doug Fir Lounge

830 E Burnside St. The Angry Orts, Tennis Pro, HelloKopter

Duff’s Garage

1635 SE 7th Ave. DK Stewart Sextet (9 pm); Honey and the Hamdogs (6 pm)

East Burn

1800 E Burnside St. Left Coast Country

Club

Ella Street Social

714 SW 20th Place Onuinu, DJ Liz B, The Sex Life DJs, Breakfast Mountain (DJ set) (Tender Loving Empire holiday party)

Ford Food and Drink 2505 SE 11th Ave. Nick Peets, Mister Fisk

The Lovesores, Jagula, The Coloffs

Langano Lounge

1435 SE Hawthorne Blvd. My Autumn’s Done Come, Yours, And And And

LaurelThirst

2958 NE Glisan St. Fernando (9:30 pm); Sassparilla (6 pm)

Lents Commons

9201 SE Foster Road Heather Mae Foard

McMenamins Edgefield Winery 2126 SW Halsey St., Troutdale Pilar French Duo

McMenamins Rock Creek Tavern

10000 Old Cornelius Pass Road, Hillsboro Renegade Stringband

Greeley Avenue Bar & Grill

Mission Theater

5421 N Greeley Ave. Rabid Wombat

1624 NW Glisan St. Jackstraw (documentary festival)

Hawthorne Theatre

Mississippi Pizza

3862 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Pierce the Veil, Miss May I, Woe Is Me, Letlive, The Amity Affliction

Ivories Jazz Lounge and Restaurant

1435 NW Flanders St. Templeton Trio with Carey Campbell (8:30 pm); Mark Simon (5:30 pm)

Jade Lounge

2346 SE Ankeny St. Ronno Rutter

Jimmy Mak’s

221 NW 10th Ave. Intervision

Katie O’ Brien’s

2809 NE Sandy Blvd. Bonneville Power, Thundering Asteroids, Crimson Dynamite

Kelly’s Olympian

426 SW Washington St. Mark McGuire, Lowmen Markos, The Luna Moth

Kenton Club

2025 N Kilpatrick St.

Willamette Week DECEMBER 14, 2011 wweek.com

3552 N Mississippi Ave. Melao d’Cuba (9 pm); Whiskey Puppy (6 pm)

Mississippi Studios

3939 N Mississippi Ave. Federale, Soft White Sixties, Brush Prairie

Mock Crest Tavern 3435 N Lombard St. Sneakin’ Out

Mount Tabor Theater

4811 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Wild Dogs, Madame Torment, Toxic Zombie

Muddy Rudder Public House 8105 SE 7th Ave. Mike Brosnan

Noho’s Hawaiian Cafe 4627 NE Fremont St. Traditional Hawaiian Music

Original Halibut’s II 2527 NE Alberta St. Linda Hornbuckle

Pints Brewing Company

412 NW 5th Ave.

Tonic Lounge

3100 NE Sandy Blvd. Smile for Diamonds, Rainstick Cowbell, Ugly Flowers

Tony Starlight’s

3728 NE Sandy Blvd. Tony Starlight Christmas Extravaganza

Touché Restaurant and Billiards 1425 NW Glisan St. Robert Moore and the Wild Cats, Peter Boe

Trail’s End Saloon

1320 Main St., Oregon City Ty Curtis

Twilight Café and Bar 1420 SE Powell Blvd. Mangled Bohemians, Lady Lazarus

Vie de Boheme

1530 SE 7th Ave. Everything’s Jake

Vino Vixens Wine Shop & Bar 2929 SE Powell Blvd. Bill Rhoades Duo

White Eagle Saloon

836 N Russell St. Stan McMahon Band, Duover, Counterfeit Cash (9:30 pm); Reverb Brothers (5:30 pm)

The Portland Cello Project with Emily Wells, members of Blind Pilot and the Alialujah Choir

Alberta Rose Theatre 3000 NE Alberta St. The Lonely Forest, Duover (Live Wire! live radio-show taping)

Alberta Street Public House

1036 NE Alberta St. Shores of Astor, The Ukeladies, Will Coca (9:30 pm); AM Exchange, California Starts (6:30 pm)

Andina

1314 NW Glisan St. Toshi Onizuka Trio

Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall

1037 SW Broadway Mannheim Steamroller

Artichoke Community Music 3130A SE Hawthorne Blvd. Renegade String Band

Ash Street Saloon

225 SW Ash St. The Rodeo Clowns, Damn Glad to Meet You, Simple Tricks & Nonsense

Backspace

320 SE 2nd Ave. Rum Rebellion, Dead in a Ditch, Blastfemur, Krix, Patria Jodida Democracia Podrida (Occupy Portland benefit)

Brasserie Montmartre 626 SW Park Ave. Djangophiles (9 pm); Tablao (5:30 pm)

Camellia Lounge

510 NW 11th Ave. The Tummybuckles

Clyde’s Prime Rib

5474 NE Sandy Blvd. ON-Q Band

Dante’s

350 W Burnside St. Three Bad Jacks, Dragstrip Riot, Hundred Dollar Jayhawks

Doug Fir Lounge

830 E Burnside St. The Low Bones, The Tumblers, Rob Stroup and the Blame, Ed and the Red Reds

McMenamins Edgefield Winery 2126 SW Halsey St., Troutdale Dan Haley

McMenamins Rock Creek Tavern

10000 Old Cornelius Pass Road, Hillsboro Garcia Birthday Band

Mission Theater

1624 NW Glisan St. Miz Kitty, Anna Paul & the Bearded Lady, Dolly Pops, Great House of Music, Charlie Brown, Huck Notari, Bo Peep, Mel Kubik (vaudeville show)

Mississippi Pizza

Mississippi Studios

Mock Crest Tavern 3435 N Lombard St. Blueprints

NEPO 42

5403 NE 42nd Ave. Nick Foltz

Noho’s Hawaiian Cafe 4627 NE Fremont St. Traditional Hawaiian Music

Original Halibut’s II 2527 NE Alberta St. Kevin Selfe

Pints Brewing Company

412 NW 5th Ave. Paul Mauer

Plan B

1305 SE 8th Ave. Mormon Trannys, P.R.O.B.L.E.M.S., Hit Me Baby, The Reanimated

Press Club

2621 SE Clinton St. Jesse Bettis, Duover, BuzzyShyFace

Red Room

714 SW 20th Place X-Kid, Dougie, Sinoy Brown, Mighty, ValerMusicHD, SupaNova, Liquid Anthrax, Ice the Light

Goodfoot Lounge

2845 SE Stark St. Fulero/Lehe Band, Mars Retrieval Unit 4111 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Rogue Bluegrass Band

3862 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Outlaw Nation, Jesta

Ivories Jazz Lounge and Restaurant

Al’s Den at the Crystal Hotel

2346 SE Ankeny St. John Chap (8 pm); Lilian Soderman (6 pm)

3017 SE Milwaukie Ave.

9201 SE Foster Road Trick Sensei, Super Desu

Ella Street Social Club

1635 SE 7th Ave. The Buckles

15th Avenue Hophouse

Aladdin Theater

Lents Commons

Ravenz Roost Cafe

1435 NW Flanders St. Ezra Weiss Sextet (8:30 pm); Jim Templeton (5:30 pm)

303 SW 12th Ave. Sean Flinn

The Heathman Restaurant and Bar

2958 NE Glisan St. Meridian, Bingo Band (9:30 pm); Tree Frogs (6 pm)

Duff’s Garage

Wonder Ballroom

1517 NE Brazee St. Spodee-O’s

LaurelThirst

Branx

Hawthorne Theatre

SAT. DEC. 17

The Gelato & Yogurt Lounge

3939 N Mississippi Ave. Electric Opera Company, My Voice students (My Voice Music benefit)

6000 NE Glisan St. Power of County (9:30 pm); Twisted Whistle (6 pm)

Jade Lounge

Jimmy Mak’s

221 NW 10th Ave. The Patrick Lamb Band

Kelly’s Olympian

426 SW Washington St.

Fruit of the Legion of Loom, Steak Knife. Bitch School

2025 N Kilpatrick St. Henry Hillstomp, Lonesome Shack, DJ Hwy 7

Biddy McGraw’s

115 NW 5th Ave. Awkward Energy, Ross McLeron and the World Radiant, Fun Yeti

Hawthorne Hophouse

128 NE Russell St. Reel Big Fish, Streetlight Manifesto, Lionize, Rodeo Ruby Love

Kenton Club

3552 N Mississippi Ave. Purple and Green, Jeffrey Jerusalem, DJ Hot Air Balloon (9 pm); New Old Timers Bluegrass Band (6 pm)

Wilfs Restaurant & Bar 800 NW 6th Ave. Jean Ronne Trio

Twisted Whistle (Pink Floyd tribute show)

11121 SE Division St. 6bq9

2530 NE 82nd Ave. Tribe of the Outcast, Stonewall’s Mistress, Unicornz, The Ascendants, She Preaches Mayhem

Refuge

116 SE Yamhill St. March Fourth Marching Band, Solovox, Mr. Wu, Dr. J, Rare Monk

Secret Society Lounge

116 NE Russell St. Trashcan Joe (9 pm), Pete Krebs and his Portland Playboys (6 pm)

Slim’s Cocktail Bar

8635 N Lombard St. Hip Deep Soul Revue

Spare Room

4830 NE 42nd Ave. Cool Breeze

Ted’s (at Berbati’s)

231 SW Ankeny St. Elevated, DJ Weather, Elan

The Conga Club

4923 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., Suite 102 Melao de Cuba

The Foggy Notion 3416 N Lombard St.

13611 NW Cornell Road Cody Weathers

1001 SW Broadway Bobby Torres Ensemble

The Know

2026 NE Alberta St. Spookies, Woolen Men, Paper Brain

The Old Church

1422 SW 11th Ave. Michael Allen Harrison (8 pm, 5 pm and 2 pm)

Thirsty Lion

71 SW 2nd Ave. Break As We Fall

Tiger Bar

317 NW Broadway The Oldest Profession

Tonic Lounge

3100 NE Sandy Blvd. Thunderstruck (AC/DC Tribute), No Po Mo Jo

Tony Starlight’s

3728 NE Sandy Blvd. Dean Martin Tribute

Touché Restaurant and Billiards

Holocene

1001 SE Morrison St. The Crow, Polyps, Nurses DJs

Jade Lounge

2346 SE Ankeny St. Alexa Wiley

Kelly’s Olympian

426 SW Washington St. Tanagra, The Man Who Laughs, Revolution Overdue

LaurelThirst

2958 NE Glisan St. Billy Kennedy & Tim Acott with Jake Ray (9:30 pm); Freak Mountain Ramblers (6 pm)

Lents Commons

9201 SE Foster Road Master Sultan

McMenamins Edgefield Winery 2126 SW Halsey St., Troutdale Peter Rodocker

McMenamins Rock Creek Tavern

10000 Old Cornelius Pass Road, Hillsboro Elizabeth Nicholson & Bob Soper

Mississippi Pizza

1425 NW Glisan St. Kelley Shannon Trio

3552 N Mississippi Ave. Hungry, Hungry HipHop (9 pm); Jenny Finn Orchestra (6 pm)

Trail’s End Saloon

Mississippi Studios

Twilight Café and Bar

Muddy Rudder Public House

1320 Main St., Oregon City Boogie Bone 1420 SE Powell Blvd. Eric Allen Band

Vie de Boheme

1530 SE 7th Ave. Pete Petersen Big Band (8 pm); Ukeladies (4 pm)

White Eagle Saloon

836 N Russell St. Cameron McGill, Lotus Isle, Joshua English (9:30 pm); The Student Loan (4:30 pm)

Wilfs Restaurant &Bar 800 NW 6th Ave. Kate Davis Trio

Woodstock Wine & Deli

4030 SE Woodstock Ave. David Friesen with Dan Gaynor, Tim Willcox, Rob Davis, Charlie Doggett

SUN. DEC. 18

3939 N Mississippi Ave. Brandi Carlile, The Secret Sisters

8105 SE 7th Ave. Irish Music

NEPO 42

5403 NE 42nd Ave. Open Mic

Rontoms

600 E Burnside St. Bright Archer, Itsy

Spare Room

4830 NE 42nd Ave. The NW Women of R&B

The Blue Monk

3341 SE Belmont St. Tom Wakeling

The Old Church

1422 SW 11th Ave. Michael Allen Harrison (5 pm and 2 pm)

Tillicum Club

8585 SW BeavertonHillsdale Highway Johnny Martin

3 Doors Down

Tonic Lounge

Al’s Den at the Crystal Hotel

Tony Starlight’s

1429 SE 37th Ave. Dennis Hitchcox

303 SW 12th Ave. Ray Tarantino, Luke Wade

3100 NE Sandy Blvd. Little Lord Fauntleroy, Muscle Beach

Alberta Rose Theatre

3728 NE Sandy Blvd. Tony Starlight Christmas Extravaganza

Andina

1320 Main St., Oregon City Robbie Laws

Ash Street Saloon

232 SW Ankeny St. Hookers, House of Hands

Backspace

836 N Russell St. Open Mic/Songwriter Showcase

3000 NE Alberta St. The Tiptons, The Quadraphonnes 1314 NW Glisan St. Danny Romero

225 SW Ash St. Dead Remedy, Staller, Town and The Writ 115 NW 5th Ave. Lather, Rinse, Repeat; Ruby Calling (Rock ‘n’ Roll Camp for Girls showcase)

Biddy McGraw’s

6000 NE Glisan St. Felim Egan

Clyde’s Prime Rib

5474 NE Sandy Blvd. Ron Steen Jazz Jam

Doug Fir Lounge

830 E Burnside St. The Fling, Yukon Blonde, Battleme

Trail’s End Saloon

Valentine’s

White Eagle Saloon

MON. DEC. 19 Al’s Den at the Crystal Hotel 303 SW 12th Ave. Ray Tarantino

Alberta Street Public House 1036 NE Alberta St. Dasha & the Bear, Title Will Come

Andina

1314 NW Glisan St. Pete Krebs

Ella Street Social Club

Ash Street Saloon

Hawthorne Theatre Lounge

Backspace

714 SW 20th Place Stellar’s Jay, Growler

1503 SE 39th Ave. Ritim Egzotik

225 SW Ash St. Open Mic

115 NW 5th Ave. Battery-Powered Music

CALENDAR Biddy McGraw’s

6000 NE Glisan St. Mike D.

Brasserie Montmartre 626 SW Park Ave. Eric John Kaiser with Todd Bayles

Dante’s

350 W Burnside St. Karaoke from Hell

Duff’s Garage

1635 SE 7th Ave. Billy Dant and The Trailer Trashers (9 pm); Suzie and the Sidecars (6 pm)

East End

203 SE Grand Ave. Portland Metal Winter Olympics: Taurus, Foal

Goodfoot Lounge 2845 SE Stark St. Open Mic

Jade Lounge

2346 SE Ankeny St. Goose and Fox, Alli Hall and Noah Woodburn

Jimmy Mak’s

221 NW 10th Ave. The Dan Balmer Band

Kelly’s Olympian

426 SW Washington St. David Gerow, Phase Four

Kenton Club

2025 N Kilpatrick St. Don & The Quixotes, Dramady, The Orphans Of Juarez, Go Fuck Yourself

LaurelThirst

2958 NE Glisan St. Kung Pao Chicken (9 pm); Portland Country Underground (6 pm)

McMenamins Edgefield Winery

2126 SW Halsey St., Troutdale Skip vonKuske with Collage Trio

McMenamins Rock Creek Tavern

10000 Old Cornelius Pass Road, Hillsboro Bob Shoemaker

Mississippi Pizza

3552 N Mississippi Ave. Gary Furlow & the Loafers, Phantom Buzz (9 pm); Bluegrass Jam (6:30 pm); Mr. Ben (5 pm)

Muddy Rudder Public House 8105 SE 7th Ave. Lloyd Jones

O’Connors

7850 SW Capitol Highway Kit Garoutte

The Blue Monk

3341 SE Belmont St. Julia Schlippert and Wild Wild Men

The Old Church

1422 SW 11th Ave. Michael Allen Harrison

Tonic Lounge

3100 NE Sandy Blvd. Anhedonist, Ritual Necromancy, Elitist, Zarathustra

Valentine’s

232 SW Ankeny St. Team Evil

White Eagle Saloon 836 N Russell St. Root Jack, Ed Connel

TUES. DEC. 20 15th Avenue Hophouse

1517 NE Brazee St. Steve Cheseborough

Al’s Den at the Crystal Hotel

303 SW 12th Ave. Ray Tarantino

Aladdin Theater

3017 SE Milwaukie Ave. The Klezmatics

Alberta Street Public House

1036 NE Alberta St. The 1939 Ensemble (live radio broadcast)

Andina

1314 NW Glisan St. Neftali Rivera

Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall

1037 SW Broadway Pink Martini with Saori Yuki

Ash Street Saloon 225 SW Ash St. ParkBlocks, Oslo in September

Bunk Bar

1028 SE Water Ave. Themes, The We Shared Milk, Sioux Falls

Camellia Lounge

510 NW 11th Ave. Tom Wakeling/Steve Christofferson Quartet

Duff’s Garage

Mr. Romo, Michael Grimes (Portland Geek Council Winter Formal)

The Whiskey Bar

Kelly’s Olympian

The Whiskey Bar

The Woods

426 SW Washington St. The Sale, Her Ghost

LaurelThirst

2958 NE Glisan St. Bingo (9 pm); Jackstraw (6 pm)

McMenamins Edgefield Winery

2126 SW Halsey St., Troutdale Caleb Klauder & Sammy Lind

Mississippi Pizza

3552 N Mississippi Ave. Northeast Northwest

Plan B

1305 SE 8th Ave. Remedies, Angry Lions

The Blue Monk

3341 SE Belmont St. Pagan Jug Band

The Know

1635 SE 7th Ave. Dover Weinberg Quartet (9:30 pm); Trio Bravo (6 pm)

2026 NE Alberta St. Murderess, Terokal, Night Nurse

Ella Street Social Club 714 SW 20th Place JAMF, Orangutangular

Goodfoot Lounge

2845 SE Stark St. Scott Pemberton Trio

Hawthorne Hophouse 4111 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Ron Hughes

Hawthorne Theatre Lounge 1503 SE 39th Ave. Sarah Moon and the Night Sky

Jade Lounge

2346 SE Ankeny St. Margeret Wehr

Jimmy Mak’s

221 NW 10th Ave.

MUSIC

The Mel Brown Septet (8 pm); Naomi LaViolette (6:30 pm)

WED., DEC. 14 East End

203 SE Grand Ave. DJ Sandy Stiletto

Goodfoot Lounge

2845 SE Stark St. Future Beats: Ryan Organ, Carrier, Brazil

Slim’s Cocktail Bar 8635 N Lombard St. DJ AM Gold

Sloan’s Tavern

36 N Russell St. The Endless Mixtape with DJ CocoBlaque

Star Bar

639 SE Morrison St. DJs OverCol, Moderhead

The Whiskey Bar

The Old Church

1422 SW 11th Ave. Michael Allen Harrison

31 NW 1st Ave. Whiskey Wednesdays: American Girls, Heatesca, Hollyman, Cod

Tiger Bar

Tiga

Someday Lounge

125 NW 5th Ave. Mixer: Perfect Cyn, Tom Mitchell, Mercedes, Keane, Mr Romo, Darling Instigatah, Grimes Against Humanity

Star Bar

639 SE Morrison St. DJ Jonny Cakes

Tiga

1465 NE Prescott St. The Lieutenant

FRI. DEC. 16 Crush

1400 SE Morrison St DJs for Ethos: Manoj, B-Lit, Justin Jade, D-Lyte, Globalruckus

Ground Kontrol

511 NW Couch St. DJs MT3, RAW

Palace of Industry

317 NW Broadway Papa Dynamite & The Jive

1465 NE Prescott St. I’m Dynamite

5426 N Gay Ave. Choncey Jones, DJ Snacks

Refuge

Tony Starlight’s

Tonic Lounge

3100 NE Sandy Blvd. DJ Pleasure Principle

3728 NE Sandy Blvd. Tony Starlight Christmas Extravaganza

Valentine’s

THURS. DEC. 15

232 SW Ankeny St. Dragging an Ox Through Water, Tom Blood, Jordan Dykstra, WL, Bird Costumes

Beauty Bar

White Eagle Saloon

511 NW Couch St. A Matter of Public Records with DJ Noah Fence

836 N Russell St. Brad Creel and the Reel Deel

111 SW Ash St. Too Hot to Stop: Blackbars, Danyak

Ground Kontrol

116 SE Yamhill St. The Seed of Life: Audio Injection, Roommate, The Rage Commander, Metazen, Michael Friedman

Rotture

315 SE 3rd Ave. Supernature: DJ Etbonz, Chrome Wings, Regular Music (members of Copy, E*Rock and Panther), DJ Maxx Bass

Someday Lounge 125 NW 5th Ave.

31 NW 1st Ave. Evan Alexander, Jamie Meushaw

Tiga

1465 NE Prescott St. DJ Primitiva

Valentine’s

232 SW Ankeny St. DJ Drew Groove

SAT. DEC. 17 Beauty Bar

111 SW Ash St. Party Foul with DJ Yo Huckleberry

Greeley Avenue Bar & Grill

5421 N Greeley Ave. Eye Candy with VJ Rev. Danny Norton

Holocene

1001 SE Morrison St. Gaycation: DJ Snowtiger, Mr. Charming

Mississippi Studios

3939 N Mississippi Ave. MRS with DJ Beyonda

Mount Tabor Theater 4811 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Free Up Fridays: Soljah Sound, Small Axe Sound, XACT Change Hi-Fi, Jagga Culture (12 am); Stahlwerks: DJs Non, SIN, Zufall & J. Alexander (10 pm)

Rotture

315 SE 3rd Ave. Eliot Lipp, B. Bravo, Barisone, Lincolnup, Ben Tactic

Star Bar

639 SE Morrison St. Go French Yourself! with DJ Cecilia Paris

31 NW 1st Ave. Deacon X Fetish Night 6637 SE Milwaukie Ave. In the Detention Hall: Cooky Parker, DDDJJJ666

Tiga

1465 NE Prescott St. Hostile Tapeover

Valentine’s

232 SW Ankeny St. DJ Bad Wizard

Vino Vixens Wine Shop & Bar

2929 SE Powell Blvd. Immersion: DJs Jacaranda, Blue Spectral Monkey, Miss Briana

SUN. DEC. 18 Tube

18 NW 3rd Ave. Tennessee Tim

Vino Vixens Wine Shop & Bar

2929 SE Powell Blvd. Immersion: Jacaranda, Blue Spectral Monkey, Miss Briana

MON. DEC. 19 Tiga

1465 NE Prescott St. DJ Old Frontier

TUES. DEC. 20 Spare Room

4830 NE 42nd Ave. DJ AM Gold

Tiga

1465 NE Prescott St. Tinsel Tantrum

Willamette Week DECEMBER 14, 2011 wweek.com

DEC. 14-20

= WW Pick. Highly recommended. Most prices listed are for advance ticket sales. At-the-door increases and so-called convenience charges may apply, so it’s best to call ahead. Editor: BEN WATERHOUSE. Stage: BEN WATERHOUSE (bwaterhouse@wweek. com). Classical: BRETT CAMPBELL (bcampbell@wweek.com). Dance: HEATHER WISNER (dance@wweek.com). TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, submit information at least two weeks in advance to: bwaterhouse@wweek.com.

THEATER Cavalia

Cirque du Soleil co-founder Normand Latourelle’s horse show is pure spectacle: The acrobats and aerialists have rubber bands for bodies and are seemingly immune to gravity, but the real performance is by the “four-legged artists.” EMILEE BOOHER. Cavalia Big-top, Northwest 12th Avenue and Pettygrove Street, 866-999-8111. 8 pm Dec. 14, 17, 19-23, 26, 28 and 30; 2 pm Dec. 18. 3 pm Dec. 17, 24, 27, 29 and 31 and Jan. 2. $24.50-$189.50.

A Christmas Carol

Bag & Baggage plays up the humor in Dickens. The Venetian Theatre, 253 E Main St., Hillsboro, 345-9590. 7:30 pm Wednesdays-Saturdays, 2 pm Sundays. Closes Dec. 23. $20-$27.

A Christmas Story

For those in need of your annual fix of A Christmas Story, there are a couple options: You can wait for the 24-hour Ralphie-fest on TNT, or you can watch Portland Center Stage’s adaptation of the flick. Gerding Theater, 128 NW 11th Ave., 445-3700. 7:30 pm TuesdaysFridays, 2 and 7:30 pm SaturdaysSundays. Noon and 5 pm Saturday, Dec. 24. Closes Dec. 24. $29-$64.

Ebenezer Ever After

Stumptown Stages reprises the company’s musical sequel to A Christmas Carol. PCPA Brunish Hall, 1111 SW Broadway, stumptownstages.com. 7:30 pm Dec. 16-17 and 23, 2 pm Dec. 18 and 24. $26.30-$34.30.

Hamlet

Northwest Classical Theatre gets rotten in Denmark again. Shoe Box Theater, 2110 SE 10th Ave., 971-2443740. 7:30 pm Thursdays-Saturdays, 2 pm Sundays. No performances Dec. 24-25. Closes Jan. 22. $18-$20.

Irving Berlin’s White Christmas

Lakewood Theatre’s Christmas show consists of exactly what it says. Lakewood Center for the Arts, 368 S State St., Lake Oswego, 635-3901. 7:30 pm Thursday-Saturday, 2 pm Sunday, Dec. 15-18. $29-$32.

Leilani’s Secret Christmas Wish

Portland playwright Scott White presents his kids’ show about five children who carry an injured friend’s letter to the North Pole. The CoHo Theater, 2257 NW Raleigh St., 205-0715. 3:30 pm Sunday, Dec. 18; 6:30 pm Thursday-Friday, Dec. 22-23. $10.

A Live Radio Christmas Carol

Willamette Radio Workshop does Dickens to benefit the Oregon Food Bank. First Christian Church, 1315 SW Park Ave., radiochristmascarol.org. 6:45 pm Wednesday, Dec. 14. Donation (food or money) to Oregon Food Bank.

The Moon in the Triangle

[NEW REVIEW] This “multimedia kung-fu play” is the seventh production in as many months by Monkey With a Hat On, a company started in May with the mission to provide “contemporary, relevant, inexpensive theater pieces geared towards, but not exclusively for, the younger generations.” What that means in this instance is a bizarre and tedious parable about the Occupy movement, performed as an homage to bad martial arts movies, adopting not only the absurd fighting styles but also the stilted dialogue and awkward pauses, all interspersed with sepiatoned silent slapstick films, a live band loudly repeating occasional lines, and intermittent appearances of ballerinas. I can’t fault Ollie Collins, who wrote directed and stars in the show, for his ambition, but is it too much to ask to

be entertained? BEN WATERHOUSE. Someday Lounge, 125 NW 5th Ave., 248-1030. 7 pm Saturday-Monday, Dec. 17-19. $5. 21+.

Naughty Listed: Stories of Holiday Misbehavior

Cort Webber and Bobby Roberts host a benefit for Planned Parenthood Advocates of Oregon (Planned Parenthood’s PAC), featuring tales of romantic terror from Ron Funches, Courtenay Hameister, Augi, Meagan Kate, Kim Stegeman (a.k.a. Rocket Mean), Enrique Andrade, Gabe Dinger and Nicole Sangsuree. Bagdad Theater & Pub, 3702 SE Hawthorne Blvd., cascadetickets.com. 7 pm Wednesday, Dec. 14. $20.

The Orphan Train

Hillsboro’s HART presents a new play by Beaverton writer Ray Hale about orphans fleeing to the English countryside during the blitz. Hillsboro Artists’ Regional Theatre, 185 SE Washington St., Hillsboro, 693-7815. 7:30 pm Fridays-Saturdays, 2 pm Sundays. Closes Dec. 18. $10-$14.

The Power of Light

Jewish Theatre Collaborative performs two Hanukkah stories by Eric Kimmel and Patricia Polacco: “When Mindy Saved Hanukkah” and “The Trees of the Dancing Goats.” Miracle Theatre, 525 SE Stark St., brownpapertickets. com. 10:30 am and 1 pm Sunday, Dec. 18. $5 children, $10 adults.

Reckless

[NEW REVIEW] Despite the twinkling, garlanded stage and the softly falling snow, this is no cheerful Christmas tale—Craig Lucas’ play finds us in a dystopian, disorienting dreamscape. As the show opens, chipper Rachel (Rebecca Ridenour) announces to her husband that she is having a Christmas Eve “euphoria attack,” only to learn that he has hired a hitman to kill her that night. Rachel flees and finds refuge with hospitable Lloyd (a sympathetic Steve Vanderzee) and his deaf, paraplegic girlfriend, Pooty. But not all is as it seems—as Rachel continues down the rabbit hole, assumed names and shameful pasts begin to reveal themselves. She visits a string of shrinks (all impressively played by Adam J. Thompson), each kookier than the last, but none provide answers to the uncomfortable questions that burble beneath the play’s buoyant, comic surface. Though occasionally sluggish, this Portland Actors Conservatory production remains energetic and good-natured, a bittersweet yet refreshing antidote to the holiday schlock. REBECCA JACOBSON. Portland Actors Conservatory, 1436 SW Montgomery St., 274-1717. 7:30 pm Thursday-Saturday, 2 pm Sunday, Dec. 15-18. $10-$25.

Ride the Red Mare

Tears of Joy presents an adaptation of Ursula K. Le Guin’s children’s story A Ride on the Red Mare’s Back, in which a girl rides into the snow on a toy horse to save her brother from trolls. Winningstad Theatre, Portland Center for the Performing Arts, 1111 SW Broadway, 248-0557. 7:30 pm Friday, 11 am Saturday, 2 and 4 pm Sunday, Dec. 16-18. $17-$20.

Roald Dahl’s Willy Wonka

Northwest Children’s Theater visits the chocolate factory, complete with songs from the 1971 film starring Gene Wilder. NW Neighborhood Cultural Center, 1819 NW Everett St., 222-4480. 2 pm Dec. 17-18, 20-24, 27-31 and Jan. 1; 7 pm Dec. 16-17, 21-23 and 28-30. $13-$22.

The Santaland Diaries

Since debuting on Morning Edition two decades ago, this all-too-true

Willamette Week DECEMBER 14, 2011 wweek.com

story of David Sedaris’ stint as an elf at Macy’s has become, at least among the public-radio set, an unlikely Christmas classic—and rightly so. Portland Center Stage’s fifth production of Joe Mantello’s one-man adaptation stars Jim Lichtscheidl, a Minneapolis actor making his Portland debut. Replacing Portland favorite Wade McCollum, Lichtscheidl has some big, jingle bell-adorned shoes to fill, but he proves more than up to the task. Lichtscheidl’s metamorphic impressions of the colorful personalities with whom Crumpet the Elf must contend might even surpass Sedaris’ own. JONATHAN FROCHTZWAJG. Gerding Theater, 128 NW 11th Ave., 445-3700. 7:30 pm Tuesdays-Fridays, 2 pm Saturdays-Sundays. Noon and 5 pm Dec. 24, no show Dec. 25. Closes Dec. 31. $25-$51.

The Shame Company

At summer camp one year, my cabin choreographed a dance routine to a song by TLC. We wore cutoff jean shorts and shook sassy index fingers at the audience. I’m quite certain it was awful. Grisly flashbacks of this performance haunted me during this energetic show by sketch comedy troupe the 3rd Floor, in which some of the strongest scenes excavate the embarrassment and angst of adolescence. But it’s not all giggly summer camp sketches—the show also boasts sequined unitards, grown men mimicking cats, a video reel featuring such bygone luminaries as Dennis Rodman and JonBenét Ramsey and a very funny pantomime by Jason Keller as a smooth jazz percussionist. Characters reappear throughout the show, stringing otherwise unrelated sketches into an unexpectedly cohesive and amusing evening. Some of it makes sense and some of it doesn’t, but the choreography is hilarious and the comedic timing first-rate—and did I mention the sequined unitards? BEN WATERHOUSE. Miracle Theatre, 525 SE Stark St., the3rdfloor.com. 8 pm Friday-Saturday, Dec. 16- 17. $14-$16.

The Sharing Carrot

A musical puppet show by Penny Walter. Central Lutheran Church, 1820 Northeast 21st Ave, pennypuppets.com. 10 am Friday, Dec. 16. $5.

Sherlock Holmes and the Case of the Christmas Carol

This latest Christmas Carol perversion at Artists Rep, by Seattle playwright John Longenbaugh, achieves the dubious feat of being even more long-windedly dull and moralistic than the usual version. A morose Holmes (Michael Mendelson) takes the place of Scrooge, who is visited at 221B Baker Street on Christmas Eve by a chaindraped Moriarty (Tobias Andersen, in his usual grumpy Mark Twain mode) who warns that hellfire awaits the great detective because he, like his dead nemesis, “[has] never loved, and that is the greatest sin of all.” Then on come the spirits, who whisk Holmes through scenes both mawkish (a stop by the 1914 Christmas truce) and corny (a cameo by an aged Tiny Tim), each ending in an obvious epiphany delivered with typical Holmsian precision. With the exceptions of Mendelson, who plays Holmes as clipped, irritable and maybe just a tad coked, and Todd Van Voris, an absolutely perfect Watson, most of the cast seem as bored with this exercise as the audience. The show lacks the whiz-bang stagecraft that make some Christmas Carol productions tolerable, and concludes with a moral so dire even Dickens would find it laughable: If you don’t open your heart to Christmas, not only will you die alone, but you will cause the horrible deaths of thousands. Humbug! BEN WATERHOUSE. Artists Repertory Theatre, 1515 SW Morrison St., 241-1278. 7:30 pm Wednesdays-Saturdays, 2 and 7:30 pm Sundays. Closes Dec. 24. $20-$50.

The Wizard of Oz

Greg Tamblyn, Portland’s own David Merrick, returns to the Newmark Theatre with a new production starring Erin Charles, Leif Norby (as Scarecrow), Dale Johannes (as Tin Man) and Joe Theissen (as Cowardly Lion). It’s bound to be a big, glitzy

show. Newmark Theatre, 1111 SW Broadway, pixiedustshows.com. 7:30 pm Dec. 16-17, 23 and 28-30; 7 pm Dec. 21-22; 2 pm Dec. 17 and 31; 4 pm Dec. 18 and Jan. 1. $15-$55.

ZooZoo

Imago pulls together favorite scenes from the company’s two puppet/ pantomime/mask shows, Frogz and Biglittlethings, for a tour-friendly bundle of surprising visual delights. This year’s edition features a new piece, “Cats!” Imago Theatre, 17 SE 8th Ave., 224-8499. 7 pm Dec. 16, 21, 23, 28 and 30; 2 pm Dec. 18, 20, 22, 26-27 and 29-31; noon and 3 pm Dec. 17 and 24 and Jan. 1. $16-$29.

COMEDY The Ed Forman Show

For the “Christmas EDition,” Ed interviews 94.7 DJ Gustav, with musical guests Eric Johnson and Fruit Bats. Dante’s, 350 W Burnside St., 226-6630. 10 pm Tuesday, Dec. 20. $3. 21+.

The Tashi Jones Xmas Special

The Brody crew improvises a delightfully horrible Christmas special. Brody Theater, 16 NW Broadway, 224-2227. 8 pm Friday, 7:30 pm Saturday, Dec. 16-17. $12, $8 students.

REVIEW CONT. on page 38

EBBE ROE SMITH AND CHRIS HARDER

ANGELS IN AMERICA: MILLENNIUM APPROACHES (PORTLAND PLAYHOUSE) Beware the Republicans in the closet.

Much has changed since Tony Kushner’s long-winded masterpiece, Angels in America, premiered 20 years ago. AIDS is now a manageable disease, and no longer exclusively gay or male. Stripped of the mystery it possessed in the mid-’80s (when the play is set), the virus has lost some of its terror. These days, we tremble similarly at the dark spectre of diabetes. But much also remains the same. Of the seven serious candidates in the Republican presidential primary, only one is not an obvious homophobe. The party is still loaded with closeted gay men. The Latter-Day Saints still have a homo problem. Angels has much to say about contemporary America, but its most interesting characters are not Prior Walter, the dying young protagonist, or his cowardly partner, Louis, but Roy Cohn, the lightly fictionalized right-wing operative whose AIDS diagnosis Kushner casts as a sort of divine justice, and Joe Pitt, his young Mormon protégé struggling to suppress his own sexuality. Brian Weaver’s production at Portland Playhouse rightly emphasizes the importance of these two roles. Ebbe Roe Smith is delightfully villainous as Cohn, giving the wretch an easy magnetic charisma that explodes in brief, intense bursts of violence, but he is nonetheless upstaged by Chris Harder as Joe. Harder, a lively performer who has eyes like Paul Newman and a grin like Jimmy Stewart, looks like he might have stepped out of an LDS advertisement. He’s calm and affable until, suddenly, the scaffolding he’s assembled to survive as a gay man attempting to live a straight, Mormon life collapses. “Everyone tries very hard to live up to God’s strictures, which are very...strict,” he tells Cohn. “The failure to measure up hits people very hard.” In Joe’s case, the impact is near-fatal, and Harder makes us feel his anguish. Weaver seems to have transparent façades in mind, taking liberal license with Kushner’s outlandish stage directions. Characters appear and disappear by tossing glitter or rolling out on wheeled stools, and mountains of ice are conjured with light and white curtains. His casual indifference to literalism goes too far, though, in the casting of Wade McCollum as Prior, whose very big performance (with much over-enunciation and flopping about) is not big enough to upstage his impressive musculature. As soon as he takes off his shirt, all suspension of disbelief is shattered: Dying men don’t have six-packs. BEN WATERHOUSE. SEE IT: World Trade Center Theater, 121 SW Salmon St., 205-0715. 7:30 pm Thursdays-Saturdays, 2 pm Sundays; 7:30 pm TuesdayWednesday Dec. 20-21; and 2 pm Friday, Dec. 30. No show Christmas day. Closes Dec. 31. $15-$32.

OWEN CAREY

PERFORMANCE

DEC. 14-20 J A N E K E AT I N G

CLASSICAL Bach Cantata Vespers

The choir and orchestra performs the first cantata in J.S. Bach’s Christmas Oratorio. St. James Lutheran Church, 1315 SW Park Ave., 227-2439. 5 pm Sunday, Dec. 18. Donation.

Choral Arts Ensemble

Longtime PSU, Portland Symphonic Choir and Choral Cross Ties conductor Bruce Browne returns to town with a welcome antidote to overplayed holiday standards that’s fresh and unusual. The program includes three very different settings of the Latin Christmas chant “O Magnum Mysterium” by Morten Lauridsen, contemporary Basque composer Javier Busto and late Portland musician Elinor Friedberg, who superimposed the text over her eight-part choral arrangement of the Nimrod section of Edward Elgar’s Enigma Variations. First Unitarian Church, 1011 SW 13th Ave., 488-3834. 7:30 pm Saturday, Dec. 17. $10-$15.

Conchords Chorale

Along with familiar fare, the 58-member choir sings music from Normandy, ancient France, Renaissance Germany, Mexico, an African-American spiritual and more. The Old Church, 1422 SW 11th Ave., 800-838-3006. 7:30 pm Wednesday, Dec. 14. $5-$8.

Electric Opera

This all-ages matinee benefits local nonprofit My Voice Music and features electric guitarists, keyboardists and drummer shredding on classical seasonal faves from The Nutcracker and more. Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., 288-3895. 2 pm Saturday, Dec. 17. $10.

Filmusik

The Subterranean Howl provides the original music and soundscapes for this latest entry in the fascinating Organ Grinders series, which pairs new music with silent films. This time it’s Tod Browning’s (Freaks) over-the-big-top, 1927 mad-carney/ circus murder epic The Unknown, starring the Godfather of Creepy, Lon Chaney, an almost unrecognizably young Joan Crawford, equine homicide, armless knife-flingers, strangling, double amputation and other family-friendly, merry, holiday treats. Hollywood Theatre, 4122 NE Sandy Blvd., 281-4215. 8 pm Thursday, Dec. 15. $12.

Nate Wooley

Recently anointed by The New York Times as an Important Voice, the native Oregonian trumpeter/improviser, who’s played with John Zorn, Fred Frith, Mary Halvorson and other progressive musical minds, brings his extended techniques and original ideas to this Creative Music Guild show, which also features local avant-gardistes Golden Retriever bass-clarinetist Jonathan Sielaff, electronic musician Eva Aguila, drummer Dan Sasaki and violist Jordan Dykstra. Bamboo Grove Salon, 134 SE Taylor, 971-207-8476. 8 pm Sunday, Dec. 18. $5-$15.

Oregon Repertory Singers

New director Ethan Sperry’s first shot at the 84-member chorus’ traditional holiday concert features some of the usual suspects but also four different versions of the Ave Maria text and works by Benjamin Britten, Gregory Sviridov and Joan Szymko. St. Mary’s Cathedral , 1716 NW Davis St., 230-0652. 8 pm Friday-Saturday and 2 pm Sunday, Dec. 16-18. $10-$30.

Oregon Symphony

‘Tis the season of balancing those year-end books. Friday brings the Canadian Tenors, while Sunday’s kids concert features the young dancers of Dance West and a singalong. Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall, 1037 SW Broadway, 228-1353. 7:30 pm Friday, 2 pm Sunday, Dec. 16 and 18. $35-$150 Friday, $10-$35 Sunday.

PAGE 46

LUCIANA PROAÑO’S GINGER?!...BREAD BOY?

Portland Baroque Orchestra, Cappella Romana

The one truest Messiah. With guests including Baroque specialist Eric Milnes and Amanda Jane Kelley, this is the Handel to catch. First Baptist Church, 909 SW 11th Ave., 2226000. 7:30 pm Friday-Saturday, 4 pm Sunday and 2 pm Monday, Dec. 16-19. $26-$69.

Portland Cello Project

The annual holiday showdown this year guest stars Blind Pilot, Emily Wells, drummer Rachel Blumberg, Musee Mecanique’s Matt Berger and the Alialujah Choir, a new project featuring Weinland’s Adam Shearer, Norfolk and Western’s Adam Selzer and Alia Farrah. Along with the host celloctet, they’ll go wild on everyone from J.S. Bach to the died-tragically-young, early-20th-century French composer Lili Boulanger to the recently liberated master of contemporary vocal counterpoint, Dwayne Michael Carter Jr., alias Lil Wayne. Aladdin Theater, 3017 SE Milwaukie Ave., 234-9694. 8 pm Friday-Saturday, Dec. 16-17. $15.

Portland Symphonic Girlchoir

With help from Portland Youth Ballet, the various choruses sing holiday favorites, world music, Broadway Christmas tunes and more. Zion Lutheran Church, 1015 SW 18th Ave., 226-6162. 2 pm Saturday, Dec. 17. $14-$54.

DANCE 3 Glorias Flamenco en Vivo

Flamenco singer Jesus Montoya, gypsy flamenco guitar master Pedro Cortes and Seattle-based flamenco dancer Savannah Fuentes offer an all-ages evening of music and dance. Mt. Tabor Theater Lounge, 4811 SE Hawthorne Blvd. 7 pm Wednesday, Dec. 14. $12-$20.

Do Jump!

If the Nutcracker isn’t your speed, consider Do Jump!’s holiday show Ahhh Ha!, a greatest-hits collection from the company’s last three decades. Ahhh Ha! offers artistic director Robin Lane’s signature blend of contemporary dance, aerial and acrobatic work, live music and theatrical flourishes. The costumes are colorful, the subject matter and staging are familyfriendly and a Nutcracker send-up is included. Ahhh Ha! features special guests Jeff George (BodyVox-2) and Kailee McMurran (SubRosa Dance Collective), plus music from Klezmocracy and Do Jump! resident composer, Joan Szymko, in collaboration with the Grammy-nominated, professional choral ensemble Conspirare. Echo Theater, 1515 SE 37th Ave., 231-1232. 4 pm Sunday, Dec. 18; 7:30 pm Friday, Dec. 16; 3 and 7:30 pm Saturday, Dec. 17; and other dates through dates through Jan. 1. $20-$32.

Luciana Proaño

Never mind the dancing snowflakes: Luciana Proaño and company adapt a different holiday story in Ginger?!...Bread Boy?, a familyfriendly multimedia dance performance. Animal and human

characters (a mother, a flying pig, a giant fly, a fox) make appearances in the show, which addresses themes of parent-child love and conflict through dance, live music, storytelling and video animation. Proaño provides the choreography, concept and costumes; JB Butler and Eric Dash supply the score. BodyVox Dance Center, 1201 NW 17th Ave., 229-0627. 7 pm Saturday-Sunday Dec. 17-18. $15-$25.

Northwest Dance Project

On the heels of winning the Sadler’s Wells Global Dance Competition, Northwest Dance Project stages a hometown holiday show, called In Good Company. Six of the company’s nine members will premiere family-friendly, contemporary dance works created by their colleagues and inspired by tunes and other sounds found on vintage vinyl. Northwest Dance Project Studio & Performance Center, 833 N Shaver St., 421-7434. 7:30 pm ThursdaySaturday, Dec. 15-17. $30-$40.

UPCOMING EVENTS BROUGHT TO YOU BY

Oregon Ballet Theatre: A Holiday Revue

If you’ve ever wondered what happened to Quarterflash, you will find your answer at Oregon Ballet Theatre’s A Holiday Revue, where band founders Marv and Rindy Ross will make guest appearances at select performances. Not a ‘flash fan? Don’t let that harden your heart to the show itself. A Holiday Revue is fine, seasonal entertainment for grown-ups: sets and costumes have a retro vibe and the dance vignettes blend stylish with substantive and comedic with wistful. This second annual installment features more dance numbers than the first and also includes jazzy, live vocals by Susannah Mars. Keller Auditorium, 222 SW Clay St., 800-745-3000. 7:30 pm Thursday-Saturday, Dec. 15-17, and Thursday, Dec. 22. Closes Dec. 22. $29.15-$156.45.

> JAN 20

> JAN 21-22

> FEB 11-12

> FEB 25

> FEB 27

> MAR 11

> MAR 15 & 17

> MAR 24

Oregon Ballet Theatre: The Nutcracker Oregon Ballet Theatre stages the classic George Balanchine/New York City Ballet version, which has all the traditional trappings, from scary mice to swirling sweets. It’s best enjoyed when the orchestra plays live, so check the company’s website. Keller Auditorium, 222 SW Clay St., 800-745-3000. 2 pm Saturday, Dec. 17 and TuesdayThursday, Dec. 20-22; 1 and 5:30 pm Sunday, Dec. 18; 7:30 pm MondayWednesday, Dec. 19-21 and Friday, Dec. 23; noon Saturday, Dec. 24. $21-$140.

Uni

In the “Hey, kids, let’s put on a show” vein, local dancemakers Linda Austin, Tahni Holt and tEEth are banding together to support To Remember Is To Jump Around There, the latest work by Danielle Ross Dance. The company will perform portions of this forthcoming work, while Austin Holt and tEEth will present works in progress. Proceeds from this night of performance will go toward stipends for the dancers and designers working with Ross. A set by sound artist Christi Denton follows. Valentine’s, 232 SW Ankeny St., 248-1600, valentineslifeblood.blogspot.com. 9 pm Tuesday, Dec. 13. $5.

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Willamette Week DECEMBER 14, 2011 wweek.com

VISUAL ARTS

DEC. 14-20

By RICHARD SPEER. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, submit show information—including opening and closing dates, gallery address and phone number—at least two weeks in advance to: Visual Arts, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Email: rspeer@wweek.com. Fax: 243-1115. Emailed press releases must be backed up by a faxed or printed copy.

framing barren treescapes against moody skies, all lines softened with atmospheric sfumato in an accentuation of winter’s oddly dialectical aesthetic impact: a sympathetic chill in the bones, even as the heart warms. Closes Jan. 14. Charles A. Hartman Fine Art, 134 NW 8th Ave., 287-3886.

the show ends. The only works that begin to recontextualize this weary trope are Friderike Heuer’s digital collages, which update the immediacy of cave drawings and pictographs with welcome postmodern pastiche. Closes Jan. 31. Blackfish Gallery, 420 NW 9th Ave., 234-2634.

December Group Show

Silver and Rust

The Roma Journeys

= WW Pick. Highly recommended.

G. Lewis Clevenger’s abstract paintings stand out in Pulliam’s group show. Ever freer and more intuitive, Clevenger’s works are veering further away from his customary grid-based compositions toward something looser and more Stuart Davis-like. Meanwhile, Jeffry Mitchell’s precious elephantinscribed ceramics aim for whimsy but achieve only cheesiness, while Linda Hutchins’ graphite scrawls, more on the mark, have minimalist panache to burn. Finally, Richard Hoyen’s oil paintings of Oregon landmarks distill Oregon-iana in grittily picturesque fashion. His depiction of Latourell Falls has a morosity reminiscent of Gus van Sant and Walt Curtis, minus the rough trade and squirting penises. Closes Dec. 30. Pulliam Gallery, 929 NW Flanders St., 228-6665.

False Starts, Repairs, and Overhauls

A ramshackle train barrels through a lightning storm in Mark Licari’s False Starts, Repairs, and Overhauls. The ink, graphite and acrylic drawing is so large-scale, so feverish, so hallucinogenic, so downright gonzo, it singlehandedly fills Disjecta’s cavernous main gallery, even though it’s a strictly two-dimensional wall piece. Meanwhile, in the far more intimate Vestibule installation space, Vanessa Calvert’s False Cover continues the artist’s exploration of melty, Jabba the

Hut-like sculpture in which distorted furniture and upholstery create an atmosphere of quasi-surrealist grotesquerie. Calvert’s first forays into this territory were hindered by a crafty, DIY execution, but in recent shows she has beefed up her technique, resulting in first-rate works that are materially complex and formally cohesive. Closes Jan. 7. Disjecta, 8371 N Interstate Ave., 286-9449.

Honeydrippers

Molly Vidor’s seductively titled exhibition Honeydrippers is a paean to fruits and flowers, revivifying the Old Masters tradition of vegetal and floral still lifes. Vidor juxtaposes flat, slategray backgrounds against creamy foreground imagery, rendered in languid fuzzy focus. Charmingly diminutive curios, the works remind us how refreshing it is to contemplate nature’s gifts as seen through the eye and hand of an inventive visual storyteller. Closes Dec. 24. PDX Contemporary Art, 925 NW Flanders St., 222-0063.

Jeffrey Conley: Winter

Seasonally themed group shows are overdone, but we must grant an exception to Jeffrey Conley’s Winter. A rhapsody of snow-blanketed tree boughs and frosty cliffsides, the exhibition commemorates the season with fondness but without preciousness. Conley has a painter’s eye for composition,

Formally vaporous but thematically substantial, Endi Bogue Hartigan and Linda Hutchins’ collaborative installation, Silver and Rust, is an etude on clouds. Their wispy, clawlike graphite scrawls arc across the space’s walls in gestures that seem to float just above the surface. The viewer sees illusionistic marks that materialize and dematerialize under halogen lights like shadows or wraiths. This is a gloriously impressionistic show, perfectly suited to Nine Gallery’s strengths as a venue for thought-provoking, sense-stroking installation. Closes Dec. 31. Nine Gallery, 122 NW 8th Ave., 227-7114.

The Horse

After Froelick’s and Butters’ equinethemed exhibitions this past summer, it’s time for a moratorium on horses on gallery walls. A big whinny of disapproval, then, for Blackfish’s The Horse, a six-months-behind-the-curve celebration of a noble animal which has, through no fault of its own, become a hackneyed artistic muse. Curator Steve Tilden adds his own take to this group show featuring 13 additional artists. Tilden contributes cringe-worthy sculptures of unicorns, Trojan horses and other variations on the theme in steel, wood, ceramics and old automobile parts. The works appear to hail from a junkyard and would meet a welcome end in similar environs after

For six years, Denmark-born, Berlinbased photographer Joakim Eskildsen traveled through Western and Eastern Europe documenting the ethnic group once descriptively but now pejoratively known as “gypsies.” The exhibition does much to update the persistent, largely inaccurate, cloyingly romanticized portrait of gypsy life as a montage of coin-jangling peasant skirts and violin czardas around roaring campfires. Instead, Eskildsen offers a documentarian snapshot that is bracingly, perhaps even banally, contemporary. The photographer’s treks across Hungary, Greece, Romania, Russia and Finland provide a glimpse into a life less colorful, more realistic, than prevailing cultural expectations would lead us to expect. Closes Dec. 31. Blue Sky Gallery, 122 NW 8th Ave., 225-0210.

Tom Hardy at 90

Freelance curator Mark Woolley fills the old Ogle Gallery space with paintings, drawings and sculpture by one of the Northwest’s most beloved artists. Tom Hardy at 90 celebrates the nonagenarian’s prolificacy across diverse media and styles: jauntily rhythmic sculptures, Asian-influenced landscapes and elegant nudes. But Hardy’s most impactful pieces are astounding gestural abstractions, such as Abstract With Rust. The work practically leaps

off the picture plane with bravado, motion and raw verve. Closes Dec. 31. Tom Hardy at 90, 310 NW Broadway.

Transmutations

With woozy, synesthetic panache, painter Paula Keyth conjures iconic images of human/animal/spirit hybrids. As in the work of Froelick Gallery’s Rick Bartow, Keyth’s paintings present an ever-shifting world where the lines between species and specters blur in pansexual, polymorphously perverse fluidity. Keyth shows us voluptuous women and anthropomorphic cows suggestively cradling rabbits and snakes, and a female body supporting a kachinalike medicine man’s head. By virtue of both her technique and vision, Keyth avoids New Age kitsch and achieves a haunting neo-expressionist exploration of the tenuous links between worlds. Closes Dec. 31. Launch Pad, 534 SE Oak St., 971-227-0072.

Werd Scho Wida

The intrepid, inexhaustibly inventive Blakely Dadson advances his artistic evolution with the drawing show Werd Scho Wida (colloquial German for “things will get better”). Conjuring a mad, inspired pastiche, Dadson combines Bavarian townscapes, film stills from Disney’s Pinocchio, a portrait of Bette Davis and imagery from the execrable 1986 comedy Three Amigos, tying the incongruous elements together in a loose retelling of the Book of Revelation. Somehow, it all works. Dadson makes virtuosic use of negative space and adds doses of ribald wit in Nurse Shark, in which a busty, latter-day Florence Nightingale protrudes from the jaws of a great white. Closes Dec. 23. Chambers @ 916, 916 NW Flanders St., 227-9398.

PROFILE For more Visual Arts listings, visit

SPORETTI

DAVID GEISER, FERTILE GROUND A longtime staple of the Butters Gallery stable, painter David Geiser takes off in fresh directions in the thoughtprovoking exhibition Fertile Ground. Based on Long Island, the artist works in a studio a stone’s throw away from the late Jackson Pollock’s old stomping grounds. Not insignificantly, Geiser’s modus operandi owes more than a little to the gestural abandon pioneered by the iconic abstract expressionist. Deploying oil paint and other media to conjure vivid fantasias on natural processes, Geiser is a veritable guru of goop, splashing, splattering and dripping his materials onto wooden panels to evoke the messy spillages of magma, the movements of tectonic plates, and the viscous biological dreck seeping through

our innards. Overlaying geological and physical imagery has been Geiser’s stock and store for decades. But with this exhibition, the artist changes his narrative for the first time. Instead of using paint to transliterate the language of nature, he simply uses paint to talk about paint itself. His employment of gold leaf in works such as Feathers heightens the unadulterated materiality of this new approach. In Untitled (3), he starts out with a typical Geiser technique, layering chalky red pigment over a cobalt underpainting, but then pointedly applies a gesture of thick, creamy impasto across the composition. This gesture does not appear spontaneous; it does not have the flow of molten ore or mucous; rather, it painstakingly evokes the history of 20th century painting in a way the late, great critic Clement Greenberg would have approved of. It is an endeavor not just to approximate natural pro-

cesses, but to transcend them. It is a visual poem extolling the beauty of paint qua paint. In other works, such as the expansively horizontal (8 feet long!) Sporetti, Geiser waxes rhapsodic about cobalt and cerulean blue. He does not handle this chromatic counterposition the way nature would; there is no gradual transition mimicking the gradation of blues in the sky or ocean. No, Geiser places the change abruptly at the composition’s midpoint. If you want to revel in nature, he seems to suggest, go out into the mountains, the plains, the fields and streams. If you aim to revel in art, you need only venture into a gallery with your eyes and mind open. RICHARD SPEER. SEE IT: Fertile Ground is showing at Butters Gallery, 520 NW Davis St., 2nd floor, 248-9378, buttersgallery.com. Closes Jan. 28.

FOOD & DRINK PAGE 24

Willamette Week DECEMBER 14, 2011 wweek.com

BOOKS

DEC. 14-20

= WW Pick. Highly recommended. By MARIANNA HANE WILES. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, submit lecture or reading information at least two weeks in advance to: WORDS, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Email: words@wweek.com. Fax: 243-1115.

WEDNESDAY, DEC. 14

facing isolation or experiencing other barriers to writing in community. The writing that comes out of these workshops is brave, funny and often heart-wrenching. The reading will feature participants from fall 2011 workshops, whose work is collected in Blueprint to my Backbone, which will be available for sale, with proceeds supporting future writing workshops. First United Methodist Church, 1838 SW Jefferson St., 503-796-9224. 6:30 pm Friday, Dec. 16. Free, donations accepted. All Ages.

UNABASHED

MUSIC GEEKERY

MusicPAGEListings 27

SATURDAY, DEC. 17

The Witch Doctor

Things from Another World celebrated the trade paperback edition of The Witch Doctor Vol. 1, a “medical horror comic” by (former WW contributors) Lukas Ketner and Brandon Seifert. Both Ketner and Seifert will be on hand to sign copies at the event. Things From Another World, 4133 NE Sandy Blvd., 284-4693. 7 pm Wednesday, Dec. 14. Free. . 21+.

Perfect Day Publishing Book Release Zinester Martha Grover has been writing Somnambulist for eight years; her zine has now been compiled into a full-length book, One More for the People. After the reading, several musical guests will take the stage, including Fun Yeti. Yes: Fun. Yeti. Grover’s is the second book released by Perfect Day Publishing, a local company that publishes work that “takes emotional risks.” Backspace, 115 NW 5th Ave., 248-2900. 7 pm Saturday, Dec. 17. Free.

The Frozen Moment History of Northwest Portland

Learn about the history of Old Town in Old Town with Jane Comerford, author of A Northwest Portland History: From the River to the Hills. Enjoy looking at historical images of the Pearl, Nob Hill, Slabtown and Old Town neighborhoods, and pick up a signed copy of her coffee-table book for localhistory geeks on your Christmas list. White Stag Building—UO Portland campus, 70 NW Couch St., 541-346-3134. 1 pm Wednesday, Dec. 14. Free. . All Ages.

THURSDAY, DEC. 15 Third Thursday Poetry

Vancouver coffee shop the Paper Tiger loves to host local arts and culture events, including Third Thursday Poetry. Each month a featured poet will share some of their work and then open up the floor for an open mic session. December’s featured poet is Herb Stokes, a former Swiss Air employee-turned-poet. Paper Tiger, 703 N Grand Blvd., Vancouver. 7 pm. Free.

FRIDAY, DEC. 16 Write Around Portland Anthology Release

If you haven’t been to a Write Around Portland reading, you’re missing out on one of the most engaging, amazing literary events in this city. The organization runs community-building writing workshops for people who are living in poverty, dealing with illness,

Every life has its tipping points– those moments when multiple future paths are laid out and decisions must be made. In an anthology curated by Colin Farstad and filled with writing by Tom Spanbauer and alums of his Dangerous Writers workshops, local writers confront The Frozen Moment(s) of their lives in essays, fiction, poetry and nonfiction. The Woods, 6637 SE Milwaukie Ave., 890-0408. 5:30 pm Saturday, Dec. 17. $5 cover.

SUNDAY, DEC. 18 Portland Poetry Slam

The Portland Poetry Slam runs every Sunday at Backspace. Each show opens with an open mic at 8 pm, followed by a featured poet, then the slam, where eight poets battle it out for $50 and poetic glory. Sign-ups for the slam and open mic begin at 7:30 pm. RUTH BROWN. Backspace, 115 NW 5th Ave., 248-2900. 7:30 pm. $5 suggested donation. All ages.

MONDAY, DEC. 19 Drunk Poets Society

This poetry open mic takes place every Monday at the horror-themed Lovecraft bar. RUTH BROWN. The Lovecraft, 421 SE Grand Ave., 971-270-7760. 8 pm. Free. 21+.

What you really want for Christmas.

For more Words listings, visit

nwfilm.org/school Willamette Week DECEMBER 14, 2011 wweek.com

DATES DEC. 14-20 HERE REVIEW

= WW Pick. Highly recommended.

P H I L L I P V. C A R U S O

MOVIES

Editor: AARON MESH. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, send screening information at least two weeks in advance to Screen, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Email: amesh@wweek.com. Fax: 243-1115.

NEW

13 Lakes

[ONE NIGHT ONLY, REVIVAL] Cinema Project presents James Benning’s 2004 study of, well, 13 lakes, captured in 10-minute shots. Hollywood Theatre. 7 pm Wednesday, Dec. 14. NEW

2011 British Arrow Awards

[ONE NIGHT ONLY, AGE OF ADZ] The best commercials on the telly. NW Film Center’s Whitsell Auditorium. 7 pm Wednesday, Dec. 14.

Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked! NEW

Dancing rodents on an island. WW did not brave the horror. G. Cedar Hills, Clackamas, Eastport, Cinetopia Mill Plain, Cornelius, Oak Grove, Pioneer Place, Cinema 99, City Center, Division, Evergreen, Hilltop, Lloyd Mall, Movies on TV, Tigard, Wilsonville, Sandy.

Arthur Christmas

An Aardman animation about the son of Santa. WW, being naughty, missed the press screenings. Look for a review on wweek.com. PG. Cedar Hills, Clackamas, Eastport, Cornelius, Oak Grove, Pioneer Place, Cinema 99, City Center, Division, Evergreen, Lloyd Mall, Movies on TV, Wilsonville, Sandy.

Bringing Up Baby

NEW

97 [THREE SHOWS ONLY, REVIVAL]

A new 35 mm print of Katharine Hepburn’s glorious romp with Cary Grant and a leopard. They bought a zoo! Hollywood Theatre. 7:30 pm Friday, Dec. 16. (This show is free.) 2 pm Saturday-Sunday, Dec. 17-18. NEW

Caterpillar

[TWO NIGHTS ONLY] The Japanese Currents series concludes with a drama about a bad lieutenant who returns from World War II without any limbs. NW Film Center’s Whitsell Auditorium. 7 pm Thursday and Sunday, Dec. 15 & 18.

The Descendants

72 George Clooney, who may be the

closest thing we now have to a Cary Grant, seems of late to be reversing Grant’s career trajectory. While Grant went from pratfalling acrobat to ironically self-aware sex symbol, Clooney has recently made room in his usual Teflon-suave scoundrel persona for roles that place him more as a bruised emotional clown. In Alexander Payne’s The Descendants, Clooney puts in a nuanced, wincing performance as the Dickensianly named Matt King, a workaholic real-estate lawyer and haole heir of Hawaiian royalty, who finds himself suddenly at sea when his wife of many years is knocked into a terminal coma by a high-speed motorboating accident. Not only does he not know how to relate to his two daughters—stock indie-quirky 10-yearold Scottie (Amara Miller) and acidtongued boarding-school teen Alex (Shailene Woodley)—but he is left to discover that his lonely, stay-at-home wife had fallen in love with another man behind his back. Clooney makes the most of his underwritten role—it is a comedic wonder to watch him lope awkwardly in flip-flops, or register his polite, pride-sucking pain over and over—but it is difficult nonetheless for the viewer to invest emotionally in the film, despite its easy charisma. R. MATTHEW KORFHAGE. Cedar Hills, Clackamas, Eastport, City Center, Evergreen, Fox Tower.

Drive

95 Drive, the luxurious new L.A. noir from Danish director Nicolas Winding Refn, is the most brutally antisocial movie of the year. It is also the most romantic—but it is primarily spellbound by the romance of isolation. It is also exhilarating filmmaking, from soup to swollen nuts. It contains half a dozen white-knuckle action sequences— starting with a Ryan Gosling robbery getaway timed to the final buzzer of an L.A. Clippers game—yet its closest relative is the lightheaded, restrained

eroticism of Wong Kar-Wai’s In the Mood for Love. In this context, the relentless carnage of Drive’s second half makes a sick kind of sense: It is a movie about men who only know how to show loyalty and care by staving in the skulls of other men. It is macho, self-pitying poppycock, and it engrossed and moved me like no other picture I’ve seen this year. R. AARON MESH. Hollywood Theatre, Fox Tower.

Elite Squad: The Enemy Within

77 Never mind the generic title and

chugga-chugga guitar riffs on the soundtrack: Brazilian action-thriller Elite Squad: The Enemy Within has a lot more going for it than, say, a Dolph Lundgren direct-to-video toss-off. A sequel to Elite Squad, a movie hardly anyone outside Brazil ever saw, Enemy Within is one of the most popular films in South American history, and it’s easy to see why: It pulses with righteous indignation against a system rotten not just at the core but at the branches on down to the roots of the tree it hangs from. Problematically, it doesn’t offer—to quote that damn song from Drive—a real hero. As the Serpico of the state police force acronymed BOPE, Col. Nascimento, played with dark-eyed austerity by Wagner Moura, comes closest, but even he is prone to ordering a helicopter to open fire on a favela in order to kill lowlevel drug dealers. Without an eye in the slums, the message gets buried beneath the body count. But director Jose Padilha (the gripping documentary Bus 174) plugs up any deficiencies in the script he co-wrote. He offers a scorching visual style and whiplash pacing, making even a college lecture on Brazil’s prison-industrial complex throb with furious energy. MATTHEW SINGER. Hollywood Theatre. NEW

Eric Rohmer Films

[TWO NIGHTS ONLY, REVIVAL] A twin bill of the director’s comedies of French manners: Summer (7 pm Friday-Saturday, Dec. 16-17) and Four Adventures of Reinette and Mirabelle (9 pm Friday-Saturday, Dec. 16-17). NW Film Center’s Whitsell Auditorium. NEW

Fast Break

82 [ONE NIGHT ONLY, REVIVAL]

Amateur psychedelic soundtrack over grainy, slo-mo basketball footage makes the ’70s seem like an ancient, foreign world, but this vintage documentary of the Blazers’ 1977 championship season was never a conventional, sporty sports movie, even in its own time. The film’s backbone (and its most interesting thread) is director Don Zavin’s postseason bicycle ride down the Oregon coast with superstar center Bill Walton, the 6-foot-11, red-bearded hippie credited for the young team’s first (and only) championship season. Walton seems equally at peace dominating a packed stadium and pedaling his 10-speed along the lonely highway. It’s touching to see these paragons of athleticism swaggering across the screen, oblivious to the fleeting nature of glory, and the impossibly simple age in which they were living. Also screening with On the Shoulders of Giants, a documentary on little-known all-black 1930s pro basketball team the Harlem Rens. PG. TONY PIFF. Hollywood Theatre. 7:15 pm Thursday, Dec. 15. NEW

Full Metal Jacket

80 [THREE NIGHTS ONLY, REVIVAL]

Asked in 1987’s Full Metal Jacket why he’s in Vietnam, Matthew Modine explains, “I wanted to meet interesting and stimulating people of an ancient culture...and kill them.” Which is something akin to what Stanley Kubrick was doing in the 1980s: voyaging into different genres and subduing them to match his increasingly formal aesthetic. He already made his transcendent antiwar picture 30 years prior with Paths of Glory; by Full Metal Jacket, he’s mostly pro-himself. So he depends on hard angles, forward tracking shots (he follows a screaming drill sergeant at the same constant pace he used in The

Willamette Week DECEMBER 14, 2011 wweek.com

MEET YOUR MAKER’S: Charlize Theron and Patton Oswalt.

HONEST TO BLARRRGH CHARLIZE THERON IS A MONSTER ALKIE IN YOUNG ADULT. BY AA R ON MESH

amesh@wweek.com

It is a hazardous undertaking to look in the mirror during a hangover. Yet this is a motif repeated throughout Young Adult: Somewhere between swigging from a 2-liter bottle of Diet Coke and cracking a tin of dog food for her Pomeranian, Charlize Theron will lock contemptuous gazes with the raccoon lids caked with last night’s eye shadow. But she doesn’t seem to recognize the woman in the glass. Recognition would ruin everything. The reunion of Juno screenwriter Diablo Cody with director Jason Reitman, Young Adult is a movie with many antecedents—it recalls John Cusack’s grasp-at-the-past pictures Grosse Point Blank and High Fidelity, as well as the bottoms-up despondency of Sideways—but it most reminded me of an H.P. Lovecraft short story, “The Outsider,” in which the isolated narrator is appalled by his own reflection. “I cannot even hint what it was like,” he says, “for it was a compound of all that is unclean, uncanny, unwelcome, abnormal, and detestable.” Theron won an Oscar mauling her beautiful features in Monster, but what she faces here is a character rotting from the inside. Killing time between drinks, she yanks strands of hair from her scalp, as if trying to hasten the decay. It’s a comedy, by the way. It also feels like an exorcism for Cody. She ranks as one of cinema’s most distinctive writers, but with Young Adult she is to some degree repudiating her own Oscar-winning work in Juno. In Theron’s Mavis Gary, Cody has created a heroine who ghostwrites sub-Sweet Valley High novels by overhearing shopping-mall tween chatter and studding it with bad puns. (The finger-curling Juno catchphrase “honest to blog” springs to mind; sorry to bring it back to yours.) Cody has also returned to her favorite motif—the prom queen as succubus—but unlike in Jennifer’s Body, where she made the concept exhaustingly literal, she now constructs a villain whose maniacal drive is fueled by pathetic yearnings. As if modeling her life on those Cusack characters, Mavis listens repeatedly to the same Teenage Fanclub song on a cassette tape—the movie’s very

clever opening credits play “The Concept” three damn times—and uses it as a pep talk to return to her hometown of Mercury, Minn., and reclaim her high-school quarterback boyfriend (Patrick Wilson). His marriage and baby are but minor obstacles, and all other people are attendants in the royal court of her imagination. Mavis is a parody of queen-bee awfulness, and on some basic levels she doesn’t make sense: How does this imperious snob reconcile her pride at getting out of Mercury with her refusal to surrender her glory days? But Cody and Reitman eventually establish a rationale for this incoherence. Mavis is an addict. Not to burden you with personal confession, but many details in Young Adult resonated from a booze-soaked period in my own life, months when I clung to the “functioning” half of the phrase “functioning alcoholic” like a deflated life preserver. The movie knows that the big question for a nightly drunk isn’t how to hide your abuse (everybody is too busy to notice, or already knows and doesn’t care about you enough to mention it) or how to find a bottle (you worked out systems long ago) but getting somebody to drink with you, company to make you feel normal. Mavis finds Matt (Patton Oswalt, in the role of his life), a professionally miserable former classmate literally crippled by bullying, who has taken to distilling “Mos Eisley Special Reserve” in his garage. “Do you want to get loaded…or something?” she asks him, and that little addendum is a priceless stab at maintaining a shred of dignity. She loses even that, in a sidewalk rant that escalates from uncomfortable verbal blitzkrieg into vulnerability so piercing that she can’t bear to keep the walls down. Young Adult isn’t quite the nasty chortle it first appears to be, and it isn’t some Very Special Episode about the perils of substances: After some easy laughs in its first half, it becomes a realist horror about the universal need to maintain a few illusions about yourself. I spent most of the movie feeling uncomfortable and a bit superior, and then I walked back to my car and broke down crying. Young Adult has problems, and I don’t know if it’s a great movie. I don’t think I can look at it again. 82 SEE IT: Young Adult is rated R. It opens Friday at Fox Tower, Cedar Hills, Clackamas and Movies on TV.

DEC. 14-20

Happy Feet Two

Dance, penguin, dance! WW did not attend the screening. PG. Cedar Hills, Clackamas, Forest, Oak Grove, Division, Evergreen, Hilltop, Lloyd Mall, Movies on TV.

Hard Times Double Feature

NEW

[ONE NIGHT ONLY, REVIVAL] Kelly Reichardt and Jon Raymond present a double bill of 35 mm prints about life in economic distress: John Ford’s The Grapes of Wrath and their own Wendy and Lucy. Hollywood Theatre. 7 pm Saturday, Dec. 17.

The Hedgehog

80 The morbid yet sentimental cult

classic Harold and Maude lives on in the tangled blond hair of an 11-yearold Parisian girl named Paloma. The Hedgehog, a French coming-of-age drama, opens with the clichéd (and videotaped) monologue of this young, wealthy and intelligent child who says she’d rather die than succumb to the adult conformity that surrounds her. Paloma (Garance Le Guillermic) plans to kill herself on her 12th birthday to avoid the fate of “the fishbowl, where adults beat against the glass like flies.” But as the 165 days leading up to her birthday begin to dwindle, Paloma becomes an observer to more than the superficiality of her Champagneguzzling mother and self-absorbed sister. Her self-made documentary travels out of the apartment, down the stairs, and into the beautifully complex inner lives of her janitor (Josiane Balasko) and new neighbor (Togo Igawa). Through short yet powerful conversations, the unlikely trio learn to give up their hiding places and join a world that is full of humor and hope. SHAE HEALEY. Living Room Theaters. NEW

Homegrown DocFest

[ONE NIGHT ONLY, DIRECTORS ATTENDING] A new batch of films from NW Documentary students; subjects include a lady on an electric motorcycle and LGBT love for Barbie dolls. Mission Theater. 7 pm Friday, April 22.

Hugo

80 Martin Scorsese’s decision to

helm the 3-D adaptation of Brian Selznick’s Caldecott-winning novel, The Invention of Hugo Cabret, seemed an odd and possibly addled one at first blush. But look at Scorsese’s filmography sideways and this august director’s late-career digression into family-friendliness makes a strange sort of sense, for beneath the blood and unpardonable French of films like Goodfellas and Casino, one finds a freewheeling and wide-eyed reverence for the antic, the cartoonish, the downright silly. (Two words: Joe Pesci.) Set in a vivid version of 1930s Paris so edibly adorable it might as well have been born in a crocodile tear sliding down Amélie’s pristine cheek, Hugo drapes its bittersweet study of broken dreams over a plot of fairystory simplicity. The titular pipsqueak (played by extraterrestrially cute Asa Butterfield) is an orphan living inside the rather capacious walls of a sprawling train station patrolled by a guttersnipe-hunting station guard (Sacha Baron Cohen) and enlivened by a Tati-esque flow of murmuring humanity. Scorsese pulls off a few wonderful tricks with Hugo. It is a film populated by uncanny visions—dreams, films, dummies, trompe l’oeil expanses— and resonant with wonder, dolor and regret. The message: Life, though brief, admits of magic. The messenger: a master magician still. PG. CHRIS STAMM. Cedar Hills, Clackamas, Eastport, Cinetopia Mill Plain, Living Room Theaters, Cornelius, Cinema 99, City Center, Division, Evergreen, Hilltop, Lloyd Mall, Movies on TV, Wilsonville, Sandy.

The Ides of March

83 Probably a bit hysterical in its

bleakness—maybe that’s a predictable outcome of a proudly liberal filmmaker like George Clooney dealing with the concessions of a Democratic POTUS. But the disillusionment in Ides has an evangelical fervor: This movie is going to find your Shepard Fairey poster and set it on fire. It’s like an anti-Bus Project. That it corrodes so effectively is thanks to Clooney communicating the romance of the campaign trail, which is basically summer camp for drizzle-loving workaholic wonks. Ryan Gosling, continuing his prolific year of playing hyper-aggressive grinners, is the media-strategy guru for Democratic presidential front-runner Mike Morris (Clooney). The early stretches of the movie have the wish-fulfillment and intellectual energy of Aaron Sorkin: The banter between Gosling and intern Evan Rachel Wood has the particular energy of two people aroused by their own smarts. This makes it all the more flooring when players reveal their primary colors. The point of The Ides of March—a very “The Ones Who Walk Away From Omelas” kind of moral— is that every social advancement is built on the back of an unknown, innocent victim. It’s an observation difficult for an Oregon progressive to deny, and Clooney’s direction moves the chamber piece at such a ruthless pace that objection is impossible. But the pessimism makes this more of a horror movie than a social analysis. It is a very good horror movie, and its savage iconoclasm is bracing. R. AARON MESH. Fox Tower.

Immortals

Godliness is next to POKING YOU IN THE EYE. R. Cedar Hills, Clackamas, Eastport, Cornelius, Forest, City Center, Pioneer Place, Division.

Into the Abyss

87 With the characteristically dis-

consolate title Into the Abyss, Werner Herzog’s death-row movie has less of the “travelogue with philosophical footnotes” quality that has marked (and sometimes cheapened) his recent output. It helps that the director, who conducts jailhouse interviews from offscreen, for once cannot possibly be more gloomy or absurd than his subject. He is the second documentary master to tackle true crime this year: Into the Abyss is far bleaker than Errol Morris’ Tabloid, but no less nuts. Herzog profiles Michael Perry, executed by the state of Texas on July 1, 2010, for the killing of three people— including a mother and son—in order to steal a red Chevy Camaro from a home’s garage inside a gated community. Meeting with victims’ relatives, other convicts and Perry himself (eight days before lethal injection), Herzog elicits bewildering details from staggeringly luckless people. As Perry maintains his innocence against a landfill of evidence, the bucktoothed 28-year-old man recalls how the one opportunity afforded him in his teen years, an Outward Bound canoe trip to the Everglades, culminated (à la Aguirre) in an attack by monkeys. Herzog remains peerless as a poet of logistics. He notices that the car Perry once wanted has sat in an impound lot for 10 years. While Perry waited to die, a tree grew inside it. PG-13. AARON MESH. Living Room Theaters.

J. Edgar

66 Spread over four decades and leached of any bright hues, Clint Eastwood’s biopic of intelligencehoarding FBI director J. Edgar Hoover (Leonardo DiCaprio) is complex and brave, if at times almost comically misguided. Though filled with lurid material—Hoover intimidating Robert F. Kennedy with a tape recording of his brother screwing, Hoover trying on his mother’s nightgowns and necklaces—it never lapses into exploitation. Such tastefulness is Eastwood’s hallmark as a filmmaker, and also his great weakness: It makes him almost as humorless as the man he’s chronicling. (DiCaprio’s performance as a coal-eyed, fussy tyrant who sincerely loves his country is more nuanced than I anticipated, if also a little monotonous.) Eastwood’s big miscalculation

is shooting nearly half the movie with Hoover and confidante Clyde Tolson (Armie Hammer) in liver-spotted old-age makeup, so that by the end it looks like crotchety Muppets Statler and Waldorf are heckling Martin Luther King Jr. Despite this fundamental hitch (and a 137-minute aimlessness), J. Edgar has the virtue of being penned by Milk screenwriter Dustin Lance Black, who takes the shamed relationship between Hoover and Tolson and finds a real love story. This eventually becomes the chief focus of J. Edgar, echoing the poignancy of Harvey Milk’s passion for Scott Smith. Black’s empathy extends to men not courageous enough to be lovers. He looks inside J. Edgar Hoover’s closet and finds more than skeletons. R. AARON MESH. Lake Twin, City Center, Fox Tower.

Jack and Jill

fucked; he has, at last, made a masterpiece. Von Trier begins at the end, with surreal eschatological visions rendered in extremely slow motion: Birds fall from the sky, and a woman sinks into a golf course’s pristine lawn as two planets, one of them our own, move in for a potentially cataclysmic meeting. A planet called Melancholia hurtling toward Earth at 60,000 mph while a Wagner plaint plays the entire species off and Kirsten Dunst scowls? Ridiculous, I know. But listen: There really are soul-searing kinds of sadness that can stretch minds to cruel and impossible limits, and perhaps such states can only be comprehended with the help of something as absurd and terrifying as a new blue planet rising on Earth’s horizon. What is certain

is that von Trier brings us perilously close to understanding the horrible shape of utter disconsolation. It hurts to watch. It should. R. CHRIS STAMM. Hollywood Theatre. NEW Mission: Impossible — Ghost Protocol: The IMAX Experience

The new Tom Cruise picture opens a week early on IMAX screens, for people who prefer their Scientologists as large as possible. Look for a review in next week’s issue. PG-13. Lloyd Center, Bridgeport.

Moneyball

90 If the dehydrated poetry of sports-

page chatter fails to tickle you even

CONT. on page 44

REVIEW ABBOT GENSER

Shining for a boy on a tricycle) and— most famously—the maniacal grin of a madman, forehead tilted down to increase the chilling effect. When Lee Ermey sees that smile on Vincent D’Onofrio, he wants to know what his major malfunction is. We already know. He’s got a case of the Kubricks. R. AARON MESH. 5th Avenue Cinema. 7 and 9 pm Friday-Saturday, Dec. 16-17. 3 pm Sunday, Dec. 18.

MOVIES

Adam Sandler is Adam Sandler’s sister. Not screened for critics by WW press deadlines. PG. Clackamas, Cinema 99, Hilltop, Lloyd Mall, Movies on TV.

Margin Call

59 Perfectly primed to capitalize on current interest in just how majestically wrecked we all are and shall seemingly forever be, Margin Call dramatizes 2008’s financial death rattles by isolating a 24-hour span in which one fictional Wall Street firm tries to figure out what to do with all of the shit falling into its huge, shiny fan. Writer-director J.C. Chandor’s central premise, that these guys bathing in cash and Drakkar Noir were simply doing their jobs, is a steep slope to climb at the moment, and Chandor’s evident faith in essential goodness isn’t fuel enough to get us up to that peak of magnanimity with him. Like Moneyball, this year’s other numerary drama of note, Margin Call hits the root thrill of dudes fidgeting with digits—I’d be perfectly happy watching Zachary Quinto’s eyebrows dip and dart in front of a computer screen for half an hour—but once those manyzeroed figures merge with the messiness of human motivation, Chandor’s film collapses. R. CHRIS STAMM. Living Room Theaters.

Martha Marcy May Marlene

78 As a member of a back-to-the-land

cult in the Catskills, Marcy May’s boyfriend, Patrick, “cleanses” her and the rest of his flock with ritualized rape and shooting lessons. Sequestered away in a lavish lakeside home in Connecticut, Martha’s estranged sister tries to fix her with tall glasses of kale and ginseng juice and pretty pink sundresses. Both are driving her crazy. Writer/director Sean Durkin has created an unsettling, intense portrait of a girl close to losing her marbles because she can’t determine exactly what life after brainwashing ought to look like. As Martha/Marcy, Elizabeth Olsen (the younger, healthier sister of the bobble-headed Olsen twins) is a subtle wonder of confusion and apathetic bitterness. The emotions glide across her open face and lodge behind her gray-green eyes as she shakily tries to reintegrate herself into the normal world—and fails in both small and spectacular ways. Oddly enough, even two-thirds through Martha Marcy May Marlene, it’s still uncertain which is more crazy: turning control of your life over to a cult leader or living an empty life in pursuit of money and great deck chairs. As Martha/Marcy’s grip on what is a dream, a memory or happening right now becomes more and more slippery, it turns out that none of those states is really all that safe. R. KELLY CLARKE. Fox Tower.

Melancholia

90 Lars von Trier’s restless formal

experimentation makes him difficult to pin down, but the Dane responsible for Dancer in the Dark and Dogville tends toward an obsession with wretchedness. The results are often insane (the fate of Willem Dafoe’s poor penis in Antichrist), sometimes painfully funny (the absurd theater of The Idiots) and frequently just plain stupid (almost everything else he’s touched). With Melancholia, von Trier has finally struck on a subject and a story perfectly suited to his fixation on the epically

HELLO, LADIES: Michael Fassbender.

SHAME “I find you disgusting.” These are the first substantive words spoken in director Steve McQueen’s sexnegative new film, aptly titled Shame. They are a misdirection, delivered after a crafty cut to a luxe office meeting, but they are spoken immediately after the film’s subject—Brandon Sullivan, played by a Bale-intense Michael Fassbender—has bought himself a high-end prostitute. And thus, the main focus and dichotomy in the movie: a constant swing between Sullivan’s clinically posh New York life and his lonely, seamy, uncontrolled sexual obsessions. In early scenes, his life amid stylized, minimalist spaces is a hyperaestheticized odyssey through the pages of Dwell magazine or unhappyhipsters.com, albeit one with lots of full frontal nudity. McQueen uses lengthy, steady, single-camera shots—sometimes over two minutes long, an eternity in film—with the main character often motionless off to the side of the picture. In some, it seems that Fassbender has been intimidated into sadness and isolation by his own mammoth radiator or load-bearing wall. In others, it’s as if we are voyeurs at a glass-partitioned zoo where the rutting lions and tigers stubbornly refuse to take center stage. And it all proceeds terribly slowly. As in Hunger, McQueen’s first movie, we are made to live through onscreen extremity in all its sometimes tedious detail. But the ugliness remains so lovely that we are not only at its mercy but wholly compelled by it. Fassbender’s Sullivan is a fascinating creature: He is a grotesque sex addict whom women constantly want to sleep with. He is aloof, self-contained, upfront with his desires and enormously charismatic as a failed human specimen, even as he gets beaten up outside a bar and ends up blankly orgasming in a gay sex club, even as he meticulously cleans a toilet before masturbating into it. His visiting sister (Carey Mulligan), on the other hand, doesn’t know at all what she wants, hasn’t succeeded at anything and is always at loose ends, but it is she who provides the scene at the true heart of this very controlled, near tourde-force by director McQueen. And she does it in a song. Because, apparently, Guy Maddin had it all wrong. The saddest music in the world is actually Frank Sinatra’s egomaniacal “New York, New York” sung much too slowly, in hazy light and cocktail dress and breaking voice, by someone who’s very obviously seen the other side of it. Desire and sex and beauty and success, just plain breaking your heart. NC-17. MATTHEW KORFHAGE. Fassbender’s tired. So tired. He’s tired of having sex.

SEE IT: Shame opens Friday at Cinema 21. Willamette Week DECEMBER 14, 2011 wweek.com

W E N D YA N D L U C Y. C O M

DEC. 14-20

TWENTIETH CENTURY FOX

MOVIES

HARD TIMES DOUBLE FEATURE a little bit, I can almost guarantee Moneyball will leave you cold. For although director Bennett Miller (Capote) and his elite writing team (Aaron Sorkin and Steven Zaillian) pad Oakland A’s GM Billy Beane (Brad Pitt) with paternal longings and past defeats, there’s not a whole lot of squishy human interest to dig into here. This is a movie about baseball and the obsessed men who devote their lives to it. Make no mistake: There is heart in Moneyball, but it’s the part of the heart that swells at the sight of numbers on the back of a Topps card and breaks beneath tacky banners commemorating past championships. PG-13. CHRIS STAMM. Living Room Theaters.

The Muppets

85 Every Muppet movie—hell, even

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the ’70s television show—is about pining for a bygone era, whether it be that of the vaudevillian variety show that The Muppet Show romanticized so well, or the caper flick, or even Treasure Island. This reboot, coordinated by Jason Segel, asks: Can’t we just be happy with an old-fashioned, MGM-style musical number (with puppets)? The tear stains on my jacket are proof I’m not too hard to please. Some of my favorite moments were the original songs by Flight of the Conchords’ Bret McKenzie. Conchords fans will notice parallels to his other stuff, but these compositions are a delight. (The only misstep is when Chris Cooper’s villain goes all rappin’ granny on us.) Amy Adams is upstaged by the new Muppet, Walter, who is 2 feet tall and her rival for Segel’s companionship. Walter’s a perfect addition to the gang, serving as an avatar for all us grown children who still love the plush. I have quibbles: In a movie that had an a cappella “Smells Like Teen Spirit” and chickens clucking Cee-Lo’s “Fuck You,” why were “The Rainbow Connection” and “Mahna Mahna” the only songs from the older movies included? But this film made me feel the same joy that The Muppet Movie stirs decades later. That’s pretty impressive. PG. AP KRYZA. Cedar Hills, Clackamas, Eastport, Cornelius, Oak Grove, Pioneer Place, Cinema 99, City Center, Division, Evergreen, Hilltop, Lloyd Mall, Movies on TV, Wilsonville, Sandy.

My Reincarnation

[ONE WEEK ONLY] A man recognized by Tibetan monks as a spiritual master considers leaving for the modern world. Clinton Street Theater. 7 pm Friday-Thursday, Dec. 16-22.

My Week With Marilyn

44 Michelle Williams steps off the Oregon Trail to play Marilyn Monroe, and gets about halfway there. She has the look of Marilyn—her features are like a portrait of Tinker Bell carved from a ripe peach— and nails the calculated-naif pout of the public persona, but she’s never quite convincing as Norma Jeane Baker. Her efforts to seem wounded and confused are always a smidgen too knowing and telegraphed. The surrounding movie looks at Monroe from the least interesting possible angle, that of snooty Anglos. It is a typical Weinstein Company property in the wake of The King’s Speech: light, British

Willamette Week DECEMBER 14, 2011 wweek.com

and shapeless. (It’s built around a romance with some sappy little gofer played by Eddie Redmayne, but I couldn’t say where the affair begins or ends.) Director Simon Curtis, a BBC vet, might be trying to win a bet over how much of the Empire’s acting talent he can waste. He plows through Julia Ormond, Toby Jones, Emma Watson and Dominic Cooper with terrible editing—uniformly clumsy and groping. Judi Dench holds her ground for a few lines, and Kenneth Branagh sneaks in the movie’s sole fully realized performance as a preening and furious Laurence Olivier. He also delivers the only scene that hints at how Monroe’s charisma lit up the screen, as he watches dailies from The Prince and the Showgirl and quotes The Tempest: “We are such stuff as dreams are made on.” The rest of the movie is the weak, soporific stuff poured out of teapots. R. AARON MESH. Fox Tower.

New Year’s Eve

23 The latest in a tide of seasonal ensemble films that play like Short Cuts or Magnolia for people with strong feelings about annual festivities, New Year’s Eve insists that nothing ennobles the human spirit like partying all night. It is a tenaciously stupid movie, one where Lea Michele gets stuck in an elevator with Ashton Kutcher and berates him about hope and magic until he agrees to make out with her. Still, there are positive things to say. Hilary Swank is required to deliver several speeches that are basically a series of mawkish nouns strung together like refrigerator poetry, and she does not have a seizure or fall down or anything. Zac Efron’s character is supposed to be a callow douchebag, and he does this thing where he talks into his smartphone and shifts it squarely in front of his mouth each time he wants to emphasize a word, which is quite convincingly douchey. Someone hands Josh Duhamel a tiny bichon frisé to hold at a dinner party, and he neither drops it nor gets fur on his tuxedo. The girl from Little Miss Sunshine gets to be in another movie. So do Sarah Jessica Parker and Katherine Heigl. (Nice thing about Heigl: There actually are a lot of women in the world who are rigid and needy and inexplicably hostile, and I think she makes them feel better.) Robert De Niro performs a meta-commentary on the trajectory of his career by playing a man who just wants to die as soon as possible. “What’s the difference?” he asks. “Why delay the inevitable?” Which also nicely summarizes New Year’s Eve. PG-13. AARON MESH. Cedar Hills, Clackamas, Eastport, Cinetopia Mill Plain, Cornelius, Oak Grove, Pioneer Place, Cinema 99, City Center, Division, Evergreen, Hilltop, Lloyd Mall, Movies on TV, Wilsonville, Sandy.

NEW

Organ Grinders: The Unknown

[ONE NIGHT ONLY, LIVE SOUNDTRACK] Lon Chaney Sr. plays a killer carny (“small hands...”) with a live soundtrack by aptly named band the Subterranean Howl. Hollywood Theatre. 8 pm Thursday, Dec. 15. NEW

The Other F Word

[ONE WEEK ONLY] A documentary profiles punk-rock fathers, includ-

ing Portland’s Art Alexakis, who has known the joy of a welfare Christmas. Clinton Street Theater. 9 pm Friday-Thursday, Dec. 16-22.

Puss in Boots

Antonio Banderas makes his Garfield. WW did not attend the press screening, as WW was at Occupy Portland instead of the cat movie. PG. 99 Indoor Twin, Forest, Oak Grove, Division, Evergreen, Movies on TV. NEW Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows

Robert Downey Jr. drags out the detective kit again. Not screened for critics by WW press deadlines; look for a review on wweek.com. PG-13. Cedar Hills, Clackamas, Eastport, Cinetopia Mill Plain, Cornelius, Kiggins, Lake Twin, Oak Grove, Pioneer Place, Cinema 99, City Center, Division, Evergreen, Hilltop, Lloyd Mall, Movies on TV, Tigard, Wilsonville, Sandy, Roseway.

NEW Sholem Aleichem: Laughing in the Darkness

54 Professors of Jewish literature looking for an easy lesson plan will no doubt be thrilled by Joseph Dorman’s Sholem Aleichem: Laughing in the Darkness, a book report of a documentary about the life and impact of the writer, who, at the turn of the 20th century, rose from poverty in revolutionary Russia to become the premier chronicler—and rib poker—of the conflict between Jewish values and the rapidly changing world engulfing them. A humorist called “the Jewish Mark Twain,” Aleichem made a Huck Finn from Tevye the Milkman, the lovable traditionalist immortalized on stage and screen in Fiddler on the Roof. Like his characters, Aleichem spent his life finding glints of happiness in dark times, all while achieving literary superstardom. That’s a hearty life to cover in the span of 90 minutes, so Dorman sticks to what works best: a series of talking-head interviews with scholars and descendants interspersed with excerpts from Aleichem’s works and wellworn photos depicting the author’s life and the world he inhabited. The result is a fairly ho-hum, PBS-style doc examining an undeniably brilliant figure. On the other hand, it will please the geriatric set and serve to fill many a college lit-class period. AP KRYZA. Living Room Theaters.

The Sitter

62 Probably about two dozen people (all of them film critics) are going to notice that David Gordon Green directed this scattershot homage to Adventures in Babysitting with Jonah Hill as Elisabeth Shue. Still, we can take a measure of heart in seeing evidence that, after Pineapple Express and Your Highness, Green remains interested in the tropes of vulgar comedy only so far as he can subvert or ignore them. This means that, as a comedy, The Sitter barely bothers to show up: Central plot points and character arcs are simply ignored, giving the farce an anarchic sloppiness that borders on incoherence. (Why do the fractious, cursing brats in Hill’s charge agree to get in a minivan with him for a New

DEC. 14-20 of the film is so fabulously awkward and silly as to approach camp-classic status. Forced to endure an insatiable fetus draining her body from the inside out, Bella looks truly chilling. As her due date nears, her body is reduced to a skull attached to what looks like a wind chime made of gnawed chicken bones. Even better, the much anticipated birthing scene (a fan favorite during which, true to the book, Edward performs Bella’s emergency C-section with his teeth) is a masterpiece of the histrionic and the ridiculous that ends with both Team Edward and Team Jacob artfully covered with smears of blood and womb goo. It’s the kind of scene that makes

you want to invent a drinking game and watch it a half-dozen times on repeat while you laugh uncontrollably and squirt whiskey out of your nose. PG-13. KELLY CLARKE. Cedar Hills, Clackamas, Eastport, Cornelius, Oak Grove, Cinema 99, City Center, Division, Evergreen, Fox Tower, Hilltop, Lloyd Mall, Movies on TV, Tigard, Wilsonville, 99 Indoor Twin.

HHHH

“

“Michael Fassbender delivers a riveting, can’t-take-your-eyesoff-him performance.”

A Very Harold & Kumar Christmas

69 A baby all high on cocaine is funny. So is Doogie’s waffle-making robot. Take two and pass, kids. R. CHRIS STAMM. Movies on TV.

REVIEW

The Skin I Live In

Roger Ebert,

“

ALCOVE PRODUCTIONS

York City coke deal? Who knows? Who cares?) But there’s inexplicable strangeness here—especially in Sam Rockwell’s dancing, lonely drug dealer—and the warm multicultural humanism of George Washington is pitted against the standard gayand race-baiting of mainstream Hollywood, so that Hill builds easy allegiances with African-American gangbangers and gives genuine affirmation to a closeted tween. (The boy, who gobbles anti-anxiety pills and dresses like he wants to be Richie Tenenbaum, is well played by Portland’s Max Records, from Where the Wild Things Are.) The Sitter is a piece of disposable junk ennobled by half a dozen emotionally honest vignettes—and I’m not sure I can think of another comedy this year that had more than three emotionally honest vignettes, so keep the faith. R. AARON MESH. Cedar Hills, Clackamas, Eastport, Cinetopia Mill Plain, Cornelius, Living Room Theaters, Oak Grove, Cinema 99, City Center, Division, Evergreen, Hilltop, Movies on TV, Wilsonville, Sandy.

MOVIES

“Carey Mulligan and Michael Fassbender give unusually daring, committed performances.” “Michael Fassbender mesmerizes.”

86 Very particular body-image

issues are at the core of The Skin I Live In, Pedro Almodovar’s violently outre new movie. It proves that the director’s penchant for physical modification has only grown more pointed—or rounded. It is perhaps the most twisted and unsettling film Almodovar has made (and this is a director whose Talk to Her featured a nurse tenderly raping his comatose patient), but it is not exactly a horror movie. Instead, it is a throwback to golden-age Hollywood’s mad-scientist movies, as if the dressup games of Vertigo had been conducted by James Whale around the time he made Bride of Frankenstein. The mad scientist, a plastic surgeon to be exact, is played by Antonio Banderas, and he is most certainly insane. Other characters keep mentioning this to him, in case he had forgotten. But Banderas’ understated performance recalls the pained dignity of James Mason in Lolita. Likewise, the movie proceeds calmly, through elision and implication, until it becomes a study of how sexuality can be formed through victimization, yet leave room for a sense of self to emerge triumphant. Almodovar takes the elements of classic films—the doctor playing God, the grand staircase, the femme fatale—and splices them into unexpected shapes that turn out to be exactly what you wanted. R. AARON MESH. Fox Tower.

Tower Heist

57 Tower Heist pulls off an astounding ruse: It is directed by Brett Ratner, it posits Ben Stiller as a hero of the economically downtrodden, it juices the arrest of a white-collar criminal by having his escape van flip over in the middle of a Manhattan street while Stiller is clotheslined by an FBI agent, and I still found myself thinking halfway through that it was a good deal better than I expected. PG-13. AARON MESH. Clackamas, Cinema 99, Division, Evergreen, Lloyd Mall, Movies on TV.

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1

29 The Twilight saga is finally getting to the good stuff. And by good stuff I mean the vampire batshit crazy stuff: rough girl-onvamp sex, demon babies, blood health tonics and wolf mind links. And yet, with all this delightfully bizarre fodder, much of the fourth movie (otherwise known as “the one where Edward and Bella get married, finally do it and Bella gets impregnated with his vampire baby”) is about as fun as a pelvic exam. All three leads—scowl-faced Kristen Stewart, sad alabaster puppet Robert Pattinson and shirtshredder Taylor Lautner—act as if they were expecting another press junket and wandered on to a movie set by mistake. And yet, it’s not all terrible. Or, to be clear, the last third

CANDYLAND: Katie O’Grady.

RID OF ME Portland director James Westby’s Rid of Me is targeted very narrowly at a certain audience, and you will know whether you are part of it from the very first scene, in which Storm Large is attacked by a vagina. To be precise, a righteously pissed-off Katie O’Grady reaches into her jeans and smears a daub of menstrual blood across the diva’s cheek. If you find this sequence amusingly brazen, and gain double enjoyment as you remember that Westby directed the music video for Large’s pussy-power ode “8 Miles Wide,” you are that audience. If you aren’t especially charmed by the taboo-busting aggression (or, worse, if you’re wondering, “Who is Storm Large?”), this movie does not want to play with you. Rid of Me makes cliques of its subject, and becomes a demonstration of the exclusionary tendencies it condemns. Its setup is a bald (and mostly effective) baiting of anti-suburban sentiment. O’Grady plays the mortifyingly deferential Meris Canfield, who moves with hubby Mitch (John Keyser) from California to his childhood hamlet of Laurelwood, Ore., (it’s actually the Portland neighborhood of Multnomah Village). Meris is reviled by her husband’s band of bros and their harpy wives, and she’s haunted by the horror-movie specter of Briann (Large), who knows what she and Mitch did many summers ago, and would like to do it some more. Cue rejection, humiliation and a new crew of pals bearing life-saving leather and eyeliner, along with the ability to vomit on command. I admired Westby’s previous pictures, Film Geek and The Auteur, where he celebrated a similar outsider outrageousness, and I don’t mind that Rid of Me is telling a creation myth of Portland’s alterna-culture. It’s Fugitives and Refugees: The Movie. This isn’t a bad idea, but the execution is slapdash and not very attuned to actual human behavior. Mitch’s pals aren’t just snobby squares— they’re racist squares who suborn cheating and toss footballs through the kitchen. (This last trait might be a tribute to Tommy Wiseau’s The Room, but I’m afraid it’s how Westby thinks jocks actually behave.) Meris’ new consorts, who include a sleepy Art Alexakis, are not much more carefully drawn. Maybe the problem is me: As a five-year Portlander, I feel more simpatico with movies like Cold Weather that address a less brash wave of Oregon immigrants. But that such a tiny distinction matters is a sign that Rid of Me is a highly insular project. It knows who it wants to be for, but not what it wants to be. AARON MESH.

Hell hath no fury like a grrrl scorned.

SEE IT: Rid of Me opens Thursday at Living Room Theaters.

SHM_PORTLAND_1209

PORTLAND EXCLUSIVE ENGAGEMENT Cinema 21 STARTS FRIDAY, DECEMBER 16 (503) 223-4515

WWEEKDOTCOM WILAMETTE WEEK - 4C WWEEKDOTCOM WWEEKDOTCOM WWEEKDOTCOM PORTLAND Cinema 21 (503) 223-4515 THU 12/15 2 COL. (3.772”) X 10.5” MR ALL.SHM.1215.WI

Willamette Week DECEMBER 14, 2011 wweek.com

MOVIES

DEC. 16-22

BREWVIEWS

NW Film Center’s Whitsell Auditorium

1219 SW Park Ave., 503221-1156 SUMMER Fri 07:00 FOUR ADVENTURES OF REINETTE AND MIRABELLE Fri-Sat 09:00 CATERPILLAR Sat-Sun 07:00 NO FILMS SHOWING TODAY Mon-Tue MYSTERIES OF LISBON Wed 06:30

Pioneer Place Stadium 6

BOWL FULL OF JELLY: There are some cinematic memories that warm our hearts every Christmas, bringing cheer with each viewing. Little Virginia finding out that indeed, there is a Santa Claus. George Bailey realizing how truly wonderful life can be. A deranged, sexually repressed psychopath in a Santa suit making kebabs out of gratuitously naked ladies. Silent Night, Deadly Night is by no means a good movie, which should be evident by the fact that it’s a slasher flick made in 1984, a time when the Friday the 13th ripoffs piled up quicker than dead sorority girls. Still, there’s a great deal of guilty pleasure to be had watching a Santa-clad mental case, with a vested childhood fear of Papa Noel, hack his way through a horde of naughty and naked holiday cheesecakes for 80 gruesome minutes. AP KRYZA. Showing at: Hollywood Theatre, 7:30 pm Tuesday, Dec. 20. Best paired with: New Belgium Sunshine Wheat. Also showing: Take Shelter (Laurelhurst). Forest Theatre

Regal Lloyd Mall 8 Cinema

2320 Lloyd Center Mall, 800-326-3264 HUGO Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 12:15, 03:05, 06:20, 09:25 ARTHUR CHRISTMAS Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 03:25, 09:10 ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS: CHIPWRECKED Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:35, 03:35, 06:35, 09:35 TOWER HEIST Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue 12:05, 03:10, 06:25, 09:15 JACK AND JILL Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 06:30, 09:20 THE TWILIGHT SAGA: BREAKING DAWN PART 1 Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-TueWed 12:10, 03:20, 06:05, 09:05 HAPPY FEET TWO Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:20, 03:30 THE MUPPETS Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:25, 03:15, 06:10, 09:30 ARTHUR CHRISTMAS 3D Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:30, 06:15

Cinema 21

616 NW 21st Ave., 503-2234515 SHAME Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 04:30, 07:00, 09:15

Clinton Street Theater

COLUMBIA PICTURES AND METRO-GOLDWYN-MAYER PICTURES PRESENT A SCOTT RUDIN/YELLOW BIRD PRODUCTION A DAVID FINCHER FILM DANIEL CRAIG ROONEY MARA “THEMUSICGIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATTOO” CHRISEXECUTIVE TOPHER PLUMMER STELLAN SKARSGÅRD STEVEN BERKOFF ROBIN WRIBASED GHT ONYORITHECK VAN WAGENINGENORIGINALLY JOELY RICHARDSON BOOK BY STIEG LARSSON PUBLISHED BY NORSTEDTS BY TRENT REZNOR & ATTICUS ROSS PRODUCERS STEVEN ZAILLIAN MIKAEL WALLEN ANNI FAURBYE FERNANDEZ SCREENPLAY PRODUCED BY STEVEN ZAILLIAN BY SCOTT RUDIN OLE SØNDBERG SØREN STÆRMOSE CEÁN CHAFFIN DIRECTED BY DAVID FINCHER

STARTS WEDNESDAY, DECEMbER 21 46

CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS FOR THEATERS AND SHOWTIMES

Willamette Week DECEMBER 14, 2011 wweek.com

2 COL. (3.825") X 12" = 24" WED 12/14 PORTLAND WILLAMETTE WEEK

2522 SE Clinton St., 503238-8899 THE OTHER F WORD Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 09:00 MY REINCARNATION Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 07:00 REPO! THE GENETIC OPERA Fri 11:30 THE ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW Sat 12:00

Lake Twin Cinema

106 N State St., 503-6355956 SHERLOCK HOLMES: A GAME OF SHADOWS FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 04:30, 07:10, 09:40 J. EDGAR Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon 05:30, 08:30 THE GIRL WITH THE DRAGON

TATTOO Tue-Wed 05:00, 08:00

Roseway Theatre

7229 NE Sandy Blvd., 503282-2898 SHERLOCK HOLMES: A GAME OF SHADOWS FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 01:15, 04:30, 08:00

Century Eastport 16

4040 SE 82nd Ave., 800326-3264 IMMORTALS Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue 11:35, 02:10, 04:50, 07:25, 10:05 THE TWILIGHT SAGA: BREAKING DAWN PART 1 Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 11:00, 01:45, 04:30, 07:20, 10:20 ARTHUR CHRISTMAS FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue 12:40, 03:05, 05:30, 07:55, 10:25 HUGO Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue 01:30 THE MUPPETS Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 11:15, 01:55, 04:45, 07:35, 10:10 THE SITTER Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue 10:45, 11:50, 01:05, 02:15, 03:20, 04:35, 05:40, 06:50, 08:00, 09:20, 10:15 NEW YEAR’S EVE Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue 10:55, 12:15, 01:45, 03:00, 04:40, 05:45, 07:40, 08:45, 10:35 ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS: CHIPWRECKED Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue 10:40, 11:30, 12:20, 01:10, 02:00, 02:50, 03:40, 04:30, 05:20, 06:10, 07:00, 07:50, 08:40, 09:30, 10:20 SHERLOCK HOLMES: A GAME OF SHADOWS Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue 10:50, 11:55, 01:00, 02:05, 03:10, 04:15, 05:15, 06:25, 07:30, 08:35, 09:40, 10:40 THE DESCENDANTS Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 11:20, 02:20, 05:00, 07:45, 10:30 HUGO 3D Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue 10:35, 04:25, 07:30, 10:30 MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE -- GHOST PROTOCOL Tue-Wed 12:45, 04:00, 07:15, 10:30 THE GIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATTOO Tue 12:01 THE ADVENTURES OF TINTIN 3D Tue 12:01

1911 Pacific Ave., 503-8448732 PUSS IN BOOTS Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue 07:00, 09:00 HAPPY FEET TWO Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 04:15 IMMORTALS Fri-Sat 09:00 ARTHUR CHRISTMAS Wed 04:25 THE TWILIGHT SAGA: BREAKING DAWN PART 1 Wed 07:00, 09:20

Hollywood Theatre

4122 NE Sandy Blvd., 503281-4215 MELANCHOLIA Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 06:45, 09:15 DRIVE Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 07:15, 09:30 ELITE SQUAD 2: THE ENEMY WITHIN FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 09:20 BRINGING UP BABY Fri-Sat-Sun 02:00 THE GRAPES OF WRATH Sat 07:00 WENDY AND LUCY Sat SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT Tue 07:30 HAMMER CITY Wed 07:00 SPOKANARCHY!

Regal Fox Tower Stadium 10

846 SW Park Ave., 800326-3264 DRIVE Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 12:15, 02:40, 04:45, 07:35, 09:45 THE IDES OF MARCH Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:55, 02:10, 04:30, 07:10, 09:25 THE SKIN I LIVE IN FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:50, 02:20, 04:55, 07:30, 10:05 YOUNG ADULT Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-TueWed 12:20, 02:45, 05:00, 07:25, 09:40 J. EDGAR Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:50, 04:10, 07:00, 09:50 THE TWILIGHT SAGA: BREAKING DAWN PART 1 Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:40, 04:20, 07:20, 09:55 MARTHA MARCY MAY MARLENE Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 12:00, 02:30, 05:10, 07:40, 10:00 THE DESCENDANTS Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:10, 12:45, 02:35, 04:15, 05:05, 07:05, 07:45, 09:35, 10:10 MY WEEK WITH MARILYN Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:05, 02:25, 04:40, 07:15, 09:30 RARE EXPORTS: A CHRISTMAS TALE Fri 12:01

340 SW Morrison St., 800326-3264 ARTHUR CHRISTMAS FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue 12:45, 03:40, 07:05, 10:10 NEW YEAR’S EVE Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue 01:10, 03:55, 07:15, 09:55 ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS: CHIPWRECKED Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue 12:15, 02:45, 05:00, 07:30, 09:40 SHERLOCK HOLMES: A GAME OF SHADOWS FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue 12:30, 03:45, 04:30, 07:00, 07:40, 10:00, 10:35 MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE -- GHOST PROTOCOL Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 12:00, 03:15, 07:15, 10:15 IMMORTALS Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 01:20 THE MUPPETS FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue 01:00, 03:50, 07:10, 10:05 THE GIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATTOO Wed 11:30, 03:00, 07:00, 10:30

Cinetopia Mill Plain 8 11700 SE 7th St., 877-6082800 SHERLOCK HOLMES: A GAME OF SHADOWS FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue 10:00, 10:30, 01:00, 01:30, 04:00, 04:30, 06:00, 07:00, 09:00, 10:00 ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS: CHIPWRECKED Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue 11:15, 01:50, 04:15, 06:45, 09:10 HUGO 3D Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 12:10, 03:25 THE SITTER Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 01:10, 03:35, 05:45, 08:00, 10:15 THE TWILIGHT SAGA: BREAKING DAWN PART 2 Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 01:20, 04:20 NEW YEAR’S EVE Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 12:00, 03:00 MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE -- GHOST PROTOCOL Tue 06:30, 09:45 THE GIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATTOO Tue 07:00, 10:40

Living Room Theaters

341 SW 10th Ave., 971-2222010 RID OF ME Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 12:20, 02:40, 05:20, 07:30, 09:40 SHOLEM ALEICHEM: LAUGHING IN THE DARKNESS Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 12:00, 03:10, 05:30, 07:40, 09:45 THE SITTER Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 12:30, 02:50, 05:00, 07:15, 09:10 INTO THE ABYSS Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 08:50 THE HEDGEHOG Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 02:10, 06:45 HUGO 3D Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:50, 01:10, 03:00, 04:00, 06:00, 07:00, 09:00 MONEYBALL Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 09:35 MARGIN CALL FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:40, 04:20

SUBJECT TO CHANGE. CALL THEATERS OR VISIT WWEEK.COM/MOVIETIMES FOR THE MOST UP-TODATE INFORMATION FRIDAY-THURSDAY, DEC. 16-22, UNLESS OTHERWISE INDICATED