END OF THE ROPE WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOUR BUNGEE CORD BREAKS? THE EVER-INADEQUATE RICHARD MILLER STRAPS ON THE ELASTIC AND TAKES THE PLUNGE TO FIND OUT. Words: Richard Miller | Photography: Tyler Branch Photo
with people. But that’s good, because it means her strengths cover my weaknesses; her weaknesses are covered by my bumbling “humour” and powers of distraction. Is that a Hemsworth over there? I think he’s wearing a tuxedo! Lots of us go into marriage carrying doubts. And if you’re as neurotic as I am, those doubts will mostly centre on your own inadequacies: What if I can’t do this? What if she gets bored of me? What if I get sick, or she gets sick, and we can’t handle the pressure? What if we can’t have kids? What if we have kids and can’t cope? The uncomfortable truth is that we’re all inadequate. We’re all flawed and broken. And yet, in a committed and loving marriage, we’re more than enough. We work together to make it work. It’s not easy, of course it’s not. As well as the great times, we go through horrid times—times when we stop talking, or stop listening, or both. But when you commit to go through it together, you get through it together.
H
ave you ever hit the end of your rope so hard that it snapped? This is a perpetual fear of mine when it
comes to bungee jumping. The soles of my feet ache and itch at the mere mention of heights. So, for me, standing at the top of a cliff and launching myself out and down into a canyon with nothing more than a piece of elastic strapped around my ankles is sheer stupidity.
So as you take a peek over the edge of the cliff and imagine looking into your to-be’s eyes and saying, “I do”, remember the power that those two words hold. It’s not a throwaway line. It’s the truest thought that ever surfaced in your brain: I love you. I will spend my life with you. And here’s the thing: your spouse will do the same. Not despite who you are. Because of who you are.
Either I’d have a heart attack on the way down or my cord
So, don’t look down, don’t freeze up—jump. And if your cord
would be the one in 10 million that breaks (of course it would).
snaps, when your cord snaps, trust that your one and only
Neither would be good.
will be there to catch you.
But there are plenty of life situations in which I’ve hit the end of my rope so hard that it snapped. (All metaphorical ones, obviously.) And in those times—as I plummeted like Wile E. Coyote strapped to an anvil—the first and sometimes only thing that saved me from ending in a crumpled heap on a canyon floor was my wife. She is not the rock on which I break my bones; she is the rock that holds me up, that gives me sure footing. In so many ways, she’s my opposite: positive, even-tempered, great
~ “IT’S THE TRUEST THOUGHT THAT EVER SURFACED IN YOUR BRAIN: ‘I LOVE YOU. I WILL SPEND MY LIFE WITH YOU.’”
