White Magazine | Wedding and Marriage | Issue 34

P U R E I N S P I R AT I O N WEDDINGS FA S H I O N LIFESTYLE R E L AT I O N S H I P S

9 771834 358001

04

AUS $15 / NZ $16 ISSUE #34 : 2016 ISSN 1834-3589

WHITEMAG.COM

Photography by The Robertsons

A LETTER FROM THE EDITOR When I was a little girl my mum taught me cross-stitch and tapestry skills, which I am so grateful for, but it’s the words “tapestry of life” that have been ringing in my head for a few weeks now. Our lives are continually being carefully stitched and pieced together … some bits aren’t always as neat and perfect as others, but we try to create the best picture we can for those we love.

Each time a new person is added to your family, a baby is born, a couple is married, a strand is added to your tapestry and their thread is woven in. You see, our story is made up of and built on the relationships and connections we have … some people you hold and weave in closer to you and others in wider circles, but all are part of creating the picture of yourself! (And that’s only the half of it.)

If you turn the tapestry over it can be a bit of a mess back there. That’s where we see our hurts, mistakes, our upbringings. What’s behind the tapestry is not always so pretty. When you marry and create a new family, you have a chance to build on the family values you both choose … it’s almost a fresh start, but we always carry our past with us and some stuff needs working through and refining.

Our families become a core part of our tapestry, woven tightly together, and this is the way you’d want it!

Each thread supports and creates together and yes it’s messy and complicated but it’s beautiful. I guess I’ve had lots to think about lately—our own extended family is going through a rough patch and I can tell you it’s not easy to remove a thread once it’s been woven in over time. It can never be fully removed, that thread is woven in tightly. Trying to take it out is messy and damaging.

Always protect your tapestry and who you let into it. When you make the commitment to your husband or wife, hold it sacred … they aren't a disposable asset. Keep talking and listening, and always love and respect each other (these are key!)—before you know it your own tapestry of life will be a rich masterpiece.

Much love to you at this time in your lives! Enjoy it and starting thinking about how you can create a marriage as beautiful as your wedding day.

The Epicurean Emu Bottom Homestead, the oldest Homestead in Victoria, est. 1836.

With its sweeping lawns and rural charm, Emu Bottom Homestead is a truly unique regional wedding venue located only 30 minutes from Melbourne’s CBD. theepicureangroup.com.au | 03 5989 4000

Because some moments should last longer than a lifetime

MILK Our new albums are made with archival quality materials bound to last longer than 100 years

www.milkbooks.com/white

ninique wedding photography | shannon hope makeup artist

Luxe bridal, bridesmaids & evening wear collections celebrating the romantic, unique, boho, modern & cool bride

goddessbynature.com #goddessbynature | @ goddessbynature Australia USA UK Scotland Ireland Norway New Zealand

Multi-award winning Australian designer

ISSUE THIRTY FOUR NOVEMBER 2016 publishers luke + carla burrell editor carla burrell

3 11 12

EDITOR’S LETTER CONTRIBUTORS WHITE LOVES

carla@whitemag.com

deputy editor cassandra holland cassie@whitemag.com

part one

18

IDENTITY STRONG MARR I AGES AR E BUI LT ON TWO I DENTI TI ES

designed by mezzanine.co ryan stuart, mylan chen-ough, luke burrell

26

interns bonnie lee mooney, chris wigmans, hannah twomey, paris lawrence

YOURS, MINE + OURS THE LI TTLE DECI SI ONS FEED BI GGER ONES

32

SELF DISCOVERY EX PLORI NG YOUR SENSE OF SELF

38

GENUINE ARTISANS DEMONSTRATE PASSI ON B ECOMI NG PUR POSE

46

THE SUM OF US TWO

54

SIMPLY SWEET R ELAX ED LOOKS WI TH A SOFT FEMI NI NI TY

56

A NEW HORIZON CLOTHED I N STRENGTH + I NNER BEAUTY

marketing + pr + partnerships renee mantle renee@whitemag.com

cover photo joshua mikhaiel editorial contributors cate stephens, erica bartle, kristie christie, lynette lounsbury, sabrina peters, tess guinery photographic contributors amelia fullarton, brown paper parcel, cassandra ladru, james bennett, janneke storm, jose villa, joshua mikhaiel, kandice breinholt, lara hotz, laura goldenberger, mgb photography, nicole schiessl photography, pictures and hearts, rachel photographs creative contributors amy clarke, by the glass, inga campbell, jess chapman, nomad styling, wild daughter

DI STI NCT BACKGROUNDS BECOMING ONE

part two

submissions whitemag.com/submissions

70 78 86 94 102 110

established by mezzanine.co

part three

ABN 31 725 316 171 ~ ISSN 1834-3589.

While every effort has been made to ensure the accuracy of information in this magazine, no responsibility can be accepted by the publisher for inaccuracy or for submissions by organisations or individuals and/ or printers’ errors. © 2016 white Magazine (Aust). All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or part without permission is strictly prohibited.

120

UMASKED DI SPELLI NG

126

THE RELATIONSHIP TALK

128

THE GRACE TO GROW WELCOMI NG

WHITEMAG.COM NEXT ISSUE ON SALE FEBRUARY 2017

136

STILL THE ONE I LOVE

subscriptions whitemag.com/shop finance accounts@whitemag.com phone +61 02 4915 6511 address 61 parry street newcastle nsw 2300

SAASHA + SAMUEL STEPHANIE + TIMOTHY KARLY + KURT JESSICA + PAUL BRIANNA + JORDAN WENDY + BILLY

WI TH FEAR I N YOUR MAR R I AGE

LEARNI NG WHO YOU ARE CHANGE I N EACH NEW SEASON

INGA CAMPBELL ILLUSTRATOR

LARA HOTZ PHOTOGRAPHER

SABRINA PETERS WRITER

JAMES BENNETT PHOTOGRAPHER

AMY CLARKE HAIR + MAKEUP ARTIST

Inga is the talented creative behind Inkling Design, a company that offers art direction, branding, styling, custom illustrations and invitations. Her illustrations have graced the pages of some of the country’s best known magazines, including Elle, Dolly, Inside Out, Girlfriend and Cosmopolitan (Australia and worldwide).

Lara Hotz is a wedding photographer and visual storyteller based in Sydney.

She understands that everyone has a story to tell and is grateful to document so many incredible stories.

With an art for interpretation, Lara draws inspiration from the love, laughter, characters and atmosphere, aiming to document each story in a natural and unobtrusive way.

Sabrina is a new generation blogger, speaker and author.

She is passionate about relationships and wrote her first book on the subject at just 21. She is currently completing a double degree in psychology and counselling and hopes to become a clinical psychologist specialising in marriage and sexuality. She’s also a wife, and a mum of two.

Based in the Hunter region of New South Wales, James left a career in graphic design to pursue his true passion— photography—and he hasn’t looked back! He has shot weddings in Bali, New Zealand, Georgia, Hawaii and also lots of interstate weddings in Australia. He also has a particular flair for film photography.

Amy is a Los Angelesbased professional hair and makeup artist. Her areas of expertise include editorial, red carpet, beauty, advertising and bridal. Amy has accrued an impressive portfolio of clients such as Burberry, Sarah Seven and Refinery29, and has had her work featured in People magazine, US Weekly and many more!

JESSICA TREMP PHOTOGRAPHER

TESS GUINERY CREATIVE

JOSE VILLA PHOTOGRAPHER

ERICA BARTLE WRITER

SHONEL BRYANT STYLIST

Jessica is a wedding photographer that specialises in capturing timeless images for modern lovers. She also lends her talents to fashion and editorial work, with an eye for creating artistic photos that are imbued with emotion and mood.

Jessica has an extensive portfolio of published work and has won many awards.

Tess is a designer and creator, specialising in graphic design, branding, visual communication, and creative direction, concept styling and social media content. She is a true creative at heart who loves to lend her skills to a mix of artistic ventures. “Creativity is without boundaries and my passion is exploring the freedom of visual design.”

Jose is a talented fine art wedding photographer whose goal is to “craft vibrant and energetic images that are as unique as the people in the photographs.” His work has been published in Grace Ormonde Wedding Style, Instyle Weddings, Brides Magazine, Modern Bride, Martha Stewart Weddings, and many more.

Erica is a freelance journalist with a Bachelor of Media degree, and is the founder of the blog, Girl with a Satchel. She previously worked as deputy editor for Girlfriend magazine, and has contributed to Total Girl, Cleo, Cosmopolitan, The Sunday Telegraph, Sunday Life, Eternity newspaper and The Walkley Magazine.

“Styling is not just what I do, it’s part of who I am.

I was born a hunter gatherer; I love the chase and won’t stop searching until I find what has been keeping me awake at night for the last week.” Shonel is a true nomad at heart when it comes to styling, forever roaming in search of the perfect textures and pieces for weddings.

SEARCH OUR VENDOR DIRECTORY

WHTE.CO/DIRECTORY

11

contributors

WHITE LOVES

pure pastels lavish lace For a gown that looks as glamorous as the bride’s, this Lavish Mirror Lace Sheath by Zimmermann could serve as an extravagant bridesmaids’ dress for the more refined wedding theme. Trimmed with a rose gold flat mirror bead embellishment, the dress also comes with a separate silk slip in nude.

Find out more at zimmermannwear.com

With artworks that speak for themselves, Lisa Madigan’s “Peachy” and “Grace” pieces evoke the honest beauty that they detail. Raw textures splashed with pastel tones are among the light-infused works, available at lisamadigan.com.au

your serve Gone are the days of ceramic homewares—we now have a new friend in town! These handmade concrete homewares by Fox & Ramona are all one-of-a-kind pieces. And you could win a plate set for yourself by heading to whitemag.com/win

walk on air Step comfortably into the summer season with a pair of boho espadrilles from Manebí. These Cherokee shoes are made from suede with hand-stitched fringes that swish with every step. Go to manebi.eu to find out more.

if the ring fits

WIN

This exquisite design from Heidi Gibson makes our heart skip a beat over and over again. The intricate details thought up by this creative goddess display the most delicate jewels.

Enlighten your senses over at heidigibson.com

natural beauty With a passion for editorial and bridal styling, Kelly from The White Avenue is known for her signature makeup looks that are natural and flawless. She has over 17 years of experience under her belt, so you can be sure that booking with her equals quality. Find out more about this talented makeup artist at thewhiteavenue.com.au

sunless shine For glowing skin, minus the sun exposure, Jurlique has perfected a natural tanner using a delectable fruit extract. This lightweight and non-streaky concoction is available at jurlique.com.au

chocolate kisses The key to anyone’s heart is chocolate; that smooth, comforting, flavoursome, mouth-watering goodness. See the incredibly delectable range of delights from Compartes at compartes.com

primped + polished No doubt your man notices every little detail, so we are sure he will notice when you change up those beautiful little fingers! Add a little splash of Kester Black to make those bouquet holding beauties pop. kesterblack.com

lovely in lace WIN

Every day can feel like a Sunday kind of love when you’re wrapped up in the romance-infused details of Mae’s Sunday. Win one of these dreamy robes for yourself at whitemag.com/win

13

white loves

WHITE LOVES

built to last sleep tight Dream of endless balmy nights in the “Beverly Hills Hotel”inspired sleepwear range by Sant and Abel. Be dressed in style and ready for your LA experience—you never know where your dreams will take you! santandabel.com

“Our philosophy of ‘worth holding onto’—the idea that quality, longevity and value are all interdependent—is an approach that extends to everything we do and make.” Tanner Goods creates quality, durable products that are true to their ethos; ones that are crafted to last! See their full range at tannergoods.com

daring denim

roll up

Outland Denim is not like other jean labels. They craft premium jeans using raw materials from around the world, and also offer sustainable employment and training opportunities to women rescued from human trafficking. You could win a “his and her” set of jeans at whitemag.com/win

Cruise into your honeymoon vibe with one of the most unique little boards going around. Keep those moonlit nights and beach strolls full of adventure, excitement and a whole lot of fun. Enjoy the “good” life at kippyskateboards.com.au

WIN

prime time Charlotte Tilbury’s soft Wonderglow primer is a miracle fix to turn around tired, dull, dehydrated skin in a beauty flash! The floral accents of rosehip and camellia oils help regenerate, restructure and moisturise the skin. Visit charlottetilbury.com to view more from their range.

glow, baby, glow When nature and beauty align, the result is pure lush love, Yard Skincare. These natural potions will take your skin to the next level, with native extracts and exotic ingredients galore. yardskincare.com

sealed with a kiss Finish off your ultimate first kiss with the perfect colour to match. Rich, creamy matte textures, glossy shimmers and sheer veils are all available at clinique.com.au. Get that popping colour to match those blushing cheeks!

WIN

class of its own Christian Paul has created some new beauties for the feminine minimalist enthusiast. Screaming elegance and sophistication, the RAW collection is all about keeping it simple and classy. Win one for yourself at whitemag.com/win

over the moon Absolutely swooning over Liquorice Moon Studios—a ceramic goddess. Splashes of copper and stripes of gold are just the beginning of the intricate designs placed on these must haves. etsy.com/au/shop/LiquoriceMoonStudios

super sliders

fragrance first Let Le Labo take you to where fragrance began. Their classic creations stem from a singular essence providing the inspiration for the fragrance and name. Find your signature scent at lelabofragrances.com

For a little slider, there is a whole lot of love!

Street Sliders are in the business of crafting deliciously scrumptious, flavour bursting handfuls of goodness—all from the back of their retro truck.

Book their services at streetsliders.com.au

15

white loves

WHITE LOVES by the seashore Seaside vibes are in full force with the Indigo bathroom collection by The Beach People. Woven threads infused with everything salt, sand and sun—what could possibly be better than wrapping yourself up in some summer love? thebeachpeople.com.au

love your locks Keep it simple and keep it clean (oh, and sulphate free!)

Hair hydration in all its glory, Biology has made washing your hair, skin and body in luxurious natural Australian ingredients a one-stop shop.

See more of their range infused with native essential oils at biologyskin.com

stylish scent Be swept away through Northern Africa and over the Mediterranean Sea as you delve into Atelier Lumira’s “Sirocco” scent. Unwind your soul and escape for just a little while in style—you deserve it! atelierlumira.com

bohemian luxe Maria Korovilas’ gowns are imbued with a romantic aesthetic, inspired by breathtaking sights, scenes and textures: Mediterranean Seas, Edwardian laces and art nouveau opulence to name a few. These beautiful designs are for the woman who holds a sense of wonder. Head to korovilas.com to see more.

printers at play Peep Designs is a melting pot of creativity and design, with a sincere passion for crafting unique and eye-catching pieces for couples using screen-printing and digital printing. Find out more about them at peepdesigns.com

WIN

set to soothe Beach Road Naturals is made up of a range of all organic body treatments set to unwind your body and soul. Natural oils infused with earthy scents are just the beginning of what luxurious products are at your fingertips. Head to whitemag.com/win for your chance to win a pack of their complete range.

vintage find Central New York printers, Bella Figura, create beautifully-unique wedding invitations the old-fashioned way—with vintage presses, the best paper, time, patience, and a whole lot of love. And they have over 350 designs in their collection! See them all at bellafigura.com

lush lotions The Ritual of Sakura skincare collection is infused with sweet cherry blossom and nourishing organic rice milk, making it a soft, fragrant mix to use as part of your daily beauty routine. au.rituals.com

beach beauty Auguste the Label has turned it up a notch, introducing their captivating Moonflower swim range. Soft colours weave in and out of distinctive floral designs, creating the perfect match for your sunkissed skin. Head to whitemag.com/win for your chance to win a $200 voucher to this beautiful label!

WIN

snapped!

I don’t know if it is the insanely amazing camera or everlasting photos that we enjoy more from The Photo Booth Guys. Either way sign us up, and take our picture! photobooth.co

17

white loves

IDENTIT Y “THE STRONGEST MARRIAGES ARE BUILT ON TWO INDIVIDUALS WHO ARE INTUITIVELY IN TOUCH WITH THEIR IDENTITY.” Words: Sabrina Peters | Photography: Rachel Photographs

P

sychologist Erich Fromm describes the paradox of love as “two beings becoming one yet remaining two.”

What a simple, yet profound thought.

Marriage is not the losing of oneself, it’s the giving and gaining of oneself. It is the intertwining of two souls passionately and deeply, all the while maintaining a healthy sense of identity, individuality and self-esteem.

I am a total believer in going from “me” to “we”. Merging together from separate individuals into one impenetrable unit.

But in the merging of one bed, one bank account, one budget, one bathroom, one family, one wardrobe (70/30 split of course) don’t lose yourself completely.

That doesn’t mean don’t change, don’t grow, don’t endeavour to be a better person. Simply don’t try and find your identity in the other person and leave your values and dreams on the wayside.

In order to not lose who you are, it’s important to actually know who you are.

19

IDENTIT Y

What are you passionate about?

In order to be good partners we must first be good to

What sets your soul on fire?

ourselves. We must believe we are worthy of being loved. We

What’s your love language?

must tear down the walls of inferiority and shame and allow

Where are you most at ease?

ourselves to receive all that we hope to give.

What values do you hold dear?

What moments have defined your life?

What kind of family do you want to raise one day?

How do you want to be remembered when you go from this life into the next?

Being in tune with your identity and the many facets (like culture, biology, personality, beliefs, experiences and much more) that contribute to it, will inevitably help you be a better spouse.

There have been many times in my marriage I have projected my own insecurities onto my husband, Benjamin. I have thought to myself, “Ben doesn’t love me?” When in reality it had very little to do with him and a lot to do with me. We don’t see things the way they are; we see things the way we are. So do you love/like/value/respect who you are?

When you look in the mirror do you genuinely like what you see? I am convinced that every person is here on purpose for

Research suggests that the strongest marriages are built

a purpose. It’s time to see yourself as lovable, important and

on two separate individuals who are intuitively in touch with

significant. A nourishing relationship must start within you,

their identity. Who not only love their spouses, but love

before it can blossom around you.

themselves (respectfully not egotistically), know themselves (accurately and authentically), and remain true to their values and passions.

I believe in order to love others deeply we must first love and accept ourselves. Not selfishly only caring about our needs and wants but genuinely valuing our existence on God’s green planet. Professor Brené Brown makes this remarkable statement, “The people that have a strong sense of love and belonging believe they are worthy of love and belonging.”

~ “I BELIEVE IN ORDER TO LOVE OTHERS DEEPLY WE MUST FIRST LOVE AND ACCEPT OURSELVES.”

21

IDENTIT Y

Now maybe all of this “love yourself” business is making you

may turn and run (I know it sounds so ridiculous now, but

a little uncomfortable. I get it. It can come off pretty cliché

hey that’s what insecurity can do, make a lie seem like the

and cocky, but that’s only if you miss the essence of what is

truth). Well let me tell you, getting up early and sneaking to

being said. It’s not about loving yourself in a condescending

the bathroom lasted about three days.

fashion, looking down on others and thinking you’re the best.

It’s about loving yourself despite yourself. It’s about being honest with yourself, the good bits, the bad bits and all the “she’s cute, but kind of crazy” bits in between. It’s about being authentic and sincere.

There’s actually nowhere to hide in marriage! Turn around and that person is there. All the time. Proximity produces intimacy (In-to-me-see!). Thankfully my handsome hubby didn’t change his mind when he saw me naked faced, ha! (And trust me I was no #ijustwokeuplikethis #flawless

We live in a world constantly wearing masks. Obsessed with

#likebeyonce). I am actually a normal woman, who wakes up

projecting an image of perfection, not realising there’s no

with bags under her eyes, smudged mascara and eyebrows

substance behind the veneer. We have become a shallow

that are definitely not on fleek. Ben is so sweet he tells me I

generation afraid to reveal our true self. We filter the flaws,

look no different, but we all know that’s a lie.

hide our humanity and care more about curating the perfect Instagram than being present and genuine. I think it’s time we say, “get stuffed” I may not measure up, but I am who I am, and I am enough.

The only way we ever become truly happy with who we are, is if we accept ourselves for who we actually are. Marriage requires vulnerability and the stripping back of every facade.

Real marriage is seeing someone at their worst and loving

It takes courage to reveal your whole self, your true self. But that’s what marriage should be—embracing your lover, flaws and all. It takes maturity to stick around when you see every part of a person.

We’ve had a few babies now so I’m pretty sure Ben has seen more than he bargained for (Hey I feel the same way buddy).

Surprisingly it’s in those moments of complete nakedness,

them regardless. When you’re dating you can hide the flaws and imperfections. Marriage is revealing your whole self. It is complete vulnerability—physically and emotionally.

I remember on my honeymoon waking up early the first few days to “fix” my face. Ben had never seen me with absolutely no make-up on and I was self-conscious that if he did, he

~ “MARRIAGE IS REVEALING YOUR WHOLE SELF. IT IS COMPLETE VULNERABILITY—PHYSICALLY AND EMOTIONALLY.”

23

IDENTIT Y

(figuratively and literally) that the deepest connections are made and complete authenticity can permeate. That is a place of true freedom, a place few dare to tread but I desire to run.

Just because you are married doesn’t mean you can’t have your own opinion and pursue individual endeavours. I absolutely agree that marriage requires getting on the same

~

page and building firmly upon shared fundamental beliefs,

“WE HAVEN’T LOST OURSELVES IN MARRIAGE,

but that doesn’t mean you have to agree on everything, all

WE HAVE ADDED TO WHO WE ARE. TWO BEINGS

the time. Ben and I are birds of a feather when it come to the

INTERWOVEN DEEPLY AS ONE.”

core values that make up our marriage (Like integrity, trust and our personal Christian faith) but there are still many (emphasis on many) things we don’t see eye to eye on and guess what; that is actually OK. Marriage is not about thinking alike; it’s about thinking together. We respect (or at least attempt to respect) the other person’s point of view.

most nights blogging or writing (often interrupted several times by a toddler who needs just one more cuddle). Is it

Lastly, marriage does not require you to completely abandon

easy to nurture and release each other all the time? Definitely

your goals and desires. I am in a season of life with two

not. Regardless Ben and I at least choose to try. We choose

young children, but I am more passionate than ever to

to continually rally, support and champion the dream of the

pursue the dreams in my heart. I am currently completing

other. We haven’t lost ourselves in marriage, we have added

a double degree in Psychology and Counselling and spend

to who we are. Two beings interwoven deeply as one.

YOURS, MINE + OURS

THE LITTLE DECISIONS WE MAKE THROUGHOUT THE WEDDING PLANNING PROCESS OFTEN FEED INTO THE BIGGER ONES. Words: Kristie Christie | Photography: Jose Villa

I

magine two meteors zooming through the atmosphere and one day they meet in the middle of the universe. Two

fiery balls of energy, life and direction who decide that instead of continuing in their own directions they’d like to come together and be a planet. A happy, beautiful, thriving planet, of course.

The intersection of the two meteors is exciting, intense and good—but as you can imagine, becoming one entity will be no easy feat. This is often the way I have described our first few years of marriage.

We wrestled through every decision that would integrate our lives. We loved life together, and we had also created independent lives on our own for years and years that we also enjoyed. We knew the way we liked things, the places we liked to bank, shop, live and who we spent our time with.

Coming together as one was not without its conflict, tears and confusion. The good news? Day by day we’ve created quite a happy planet to live on. Together. It took time, patience and a lot of communication but we’ve found our way into a rhythm that is our safe place to live together: home.

27

YOURS, MINE + OURS

David and I met and married within a year. Our connection and relationship moved fast and we were in our mid-thirties and were ready to live our lives together. As soon as we were engaged, I was eager to register for glasses and cake plates and all the lovely kinds of gifts I’d given 200 of my closest friends at their wedding showers over the last decade. My turn … wait … our turn. This is where my journey towards interdependence began. Independence had been my

~ “DON’T MISS THIS IMPORTANT TRUTH: THE LITTLE DECISIONS CREATE A PATHWAY INTO THE BIGGER ONES. THINK OF THEM AS TRAINING WHEELS ON THE MARRIAGE BIKE.”

strength as I created a life on my own as a single woman.

I’d purchased a home, chosen a career and changed every light bulb or tyre all on my own. There wasn’t really anyone

My desire to include him in the wedding planning process

weighing in on the decisions I made—I had the freedom

was strong. I didn’t want to be the kind of girl that charged

to choose and create almost every aspect of my life. Now,

beyond her partner and planned her own “personal princess

sharing my life with David would mean things would shift and

prom”. I wanted the wedding to reflect us, not just me.

change. I had another person to consider and had (and still have) some growing to do.

What I learned through the process was that there are simply things he will defer to me on, and others I will defer to his

I remember standing in a home store in front of a display of

judgement. There will be many decisions we choose to make

50 different silverware patterns. I imagined our future children

together. Deciding how to approach a decision, big and

eating off of these forks. I considered years and years of

small, is sometimes easier said than done.

dinner parties and holidays with beautiful linens on our table and carefully placed forks, knives and spoons lined up next to a shiny white plate.

I suppose that these are the little things: fork patterns, the colours for your wedding, or even which restaurant you choose for dinner. Don’t miss this important truth: the little

Choosing our silverware pattern suddenly felt like such a

decisions create a pathway into the bigger ones. Think of

huge decision. I turned to David with expectation: “Which

them as training wheels on the marriage bike. Learning

one do you like best?” I searched for approval and direction.

how to communicate about decision making can be tough

He said, “Honestly, I don’t care. I trust you.” I was annoyed

work, but it’s good work. You’ll get there if you keep working

by what I perceived as his apathy. Finally, through my

towards finding a smooth rhythm in your relationship, but it

prodding and insistence he picked a favourite pattern. Just

can be awkward at first.

as soon as his finger began to point towards the shiny fork, spoon and knife I said “Oh, not that one.” I’m sure you can imagine how frustrating this was for him. He didn’t actually

Here are a few things I want to suggest as you learn to make decisions together:

care. He likes my style and choices. I wanted him to care, so

Listen and be curious If you can learn to listen and ask

he made the effort to have a preference and I instantly shot

questions, you’ll get to the heart of your partner’s preferences,

it down. He gave me a frustrated look. You know the look—

motivations and viewpoint. Don’t interpret right away what

the kind that lets you know that you’ve crossed the line and

you naturally intuit to be true. Be curious and discover the

pushed him over the patience threshold.

heart of the matter before you move forward together.

29

YOURS, MINE + OURS

Keep calm and communicate Let your words be true

Seek out mentors and friends Welcome a few trusted

and clear. No-one likes to play a guessing game about what

friends into your life to be a sounding board and mentor.

you really mean to say. Passive aggression in the name of

Without breaking the trust of your spouse, it can be good to

people pleasing can be a great barrier in the way of good

have wise women to lean on as you grow in marriage. Seek

communication. Be calm, patient, and clear. If you need a

out women who have healthy, thriving marriages as a place

moment to figure out what you’re thinking and feeling—take

to learn strategies and best practices. No two marriages are

that moment to process and return to the conversation. Take

the same, but there are challenges common to most of us.

turns communicating and listening until you feel you’ve both

Why not learn from someone further along on the relationship

been well understood.

road? Mentors and friends can be a great resource as you

Decide how much you care In the case of the forks and

navigate the tough stuff.

spoons—David didn’t care which one we registered for. He

Understand your conflict and personality styles

wasn’t apathetic, he trusted my judgement. Learn to let go

Decision making can be a place ripe for conflict. When you

when it’s not important to you, especially if your partner has a

feel hurt or frustration well up in your heart, learn about how

gift in this area or a strong opinion. There will be many more

you each naturally react. The more you learn about what

decisions that you’ll make together. Don’t fight every battle.

makes your spouse who they are, the better you will be to

Decide how important something is and then proceed together.

love them and communicate well.

SELF DISCOVERY

“MARRIAGE: A HOPEFUL, GENEROUS, INFINITELY KIND GAMBLE TAKEN BY TWO PEOPLE WHO DON’T KNOW YET WHO THEY ARE OR WHO THE OTHER MIGHT BE, BINDING THEMSELVES TO A FUTURE THEY CANNOT CONCEIVE OF AND HAVE CAREFULLY OMITTED TO INVESTIGATE.”—ALAIN DE BOTTON. Words: Erica Bartle | Photography: Amelia Soegijono - Pictures and Hearts Photography (Jose Villa mentoring session)

S

o where to begin when posed the question, “Who were you when you married your husband?” Truthfully, I don’t

think I had a clue. At 26, I had many pairs of nice shoes, a plum job in magazine publishing, exciting career prospects, European passport stamps and gorgeous girlfriends, but I was also incredibly restless. I had a lot of questions.

My whole identity was wrapped up in intangibles; in a sort of fictionalised conception of who I was meant to be, because when you have no clue about you, you’re more than prepared to adopt whatever label or tag it is the world deems you worthy of, create a persona that seems to fit the bill, go out of your way to please people you really don’t have to, or float through life without any idea of why you are here.

“Since the false self is fabricated on secondary things we idolise, like reputation, success, status, family and jobs, it is always vulnerable,” writes Adele Ahlberg Calhoun in the Spiritual Disciplines Handbook. “Things that can be here today and gone tomorrow provide a precarious mooring for the soul. Our truest identity can never be something we accomplish, earn or prove on our own.”

33

self discovery

Subsequently, leading up to and after I walked down the aisle

jealousy issues or lack of personal hygiene could be a bit

to Vanessa Carlton’s “A Thousand Miles”, I filled approximately

socially isolating, deleting the ex-boyfriends from your Facebook

25 journals with scribblings articulating inner wrestlings over

world, or agreeing to put writing that book on hold because

everything from body image, to my parents’ divorce, to God

there are house renovations to complete.

(where were you all those years ago?). I listened to the Alabaster Box song “There’s Hope” and Queen Latifah’s “Fix Me, Jesus” a lot at that time.

It’s about you TWO and not just you anymore. And that can be really uncomfortable because the indignant, self-righteous, self-gratifying part of yourself is always trying to get the better

But I found myself—a deep, settled knowingness—only in

you (think Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde) and, therefore, throw your

order to lose myself again ... for the right reasons. Letting go

marriage offside.

of our “selves” is what marriage is all about. It’s what you sign up for when you say “I do”. This doesn’t mean losing yourself in the sense that your new name (if you so choose) becomes you and you are now Mr or Mrs and not yourself anymore.

But it does mean letting some of the things you’ve accumulated in life, such as grievances, ambitions and dreams, fall away if necessary.

Complementarianism, which is the marital creed I subscribe to, requires a definite sense of self in order to be accomplished within a marriage. You cannot be complementary if you have no idea what it is that you bring to the table, and nor can your partner. You both have to have an awareness of the strengths, weaknesses, skills, habits, personality quirks and past and present relationships you bring to the marriage,

This might include acknowledging an online shopping habit

before you can negotiate how they can best work together to

that may impinge on your financial security, or that your

achieve things you simply could not do alone.

~ “TO TAKE AN OBJECTIVE VIEW OF YOURSELF, TO RECONCILE THE IDEAS MANUFACTURED BY THE WORLD THAT DON’T SUIT YOU NOR MATCH YOUR VALUES …

WITH THESE COME FREEDOM.”

You are perfected in your unity and your individuality. Would Hugh Jackman be the super guy he is without Deborra-Lee Furness? Chris Hemsworth without Elsa Pataky? Hamish Blake without Zoe Foster Blake? Or conversely?

Discovery of each other is such a privilege and wonder—we get to see the nooks and crannies of each other’s feelings, emotions, thoughts and actions, and to explore them with an intimacy that no-one else will enjoy.

How wonderful to think that you will know this person better than anyone else on earth; and that they will know you in this way, too, and help you to become the best version of you?!

In fact, through their unique point of view, your spouse may get to know you better than you do.

I am always startled by my husband’s ability to nail my flaws and anticipate my reactions, and show them up for what they are before they have a chance to cause conflict. It is often incredibly uncomfortable, and I may sulk occasionally, but he, in turn, is constantly humbled by my unique ability to downplay his obvious strengths (good looks, strong mind, resilience) while buffering his weaknesses.

35

self discovery

To take an objective view of yourself, to reconcile the ideas

Some simple take-home ideas to cut n paste …

manufactured by the world that don’t suit you nor match your

- Take care of yourself;

values … with these come freedom. A life lived in harmony

- Speak up honestly about your needs;

with one’s fellow human beings (starting with your spouse)

- Acknowledge and admit your weaknesses and mistakes;

starts here; in the knowledge and unconditional love of

- Celebrate your gifts, talents and unique personality;

self but the willingness to override selfish desires for the

- Acknowledge them, but don’t let your vulnerabilities

greater good. It is equally applicable at home as it is in the

become your creed;

community or workplace or the realms of politics, economics

- And seek out ways to meet others’ needs; to bless the

and humanitarianism.

world with all you’ve been given (singly and as a couple); and

As Aristotle once said, “Knowing yourself is the beginning

be the best you that you can be.

of all wisdom.” So do the work. Plough deep into your past

Self-work is like a really good wardrobe cleanse; ditch the

and make friends with your mistakes and forgive the wrongs

stuff that doesn’t suit, file away the precious, but keep the

done against you, too. And, importantly, don’t for a second

good stuff—the things that make you feel wonderful and

think that you are not worthy of your unique personality,

so very “you”—at the forefront for everyday use and for

hopes and dreams.

everyone around you to enjoy. Because we truly become

“The beginning of love is the will to let those we love be perfectly themselves, the resolution not to twist them to fit our own image,” wrote Thomas Merton in No Man Is an Island.

“If in loving them we do not love what they are, but only their potential likeness to ourselves, then we do not love them: we only love the reflection of ourselves we find in them.”

ourselves in relation to others; in fact, you will become the best version of yourself because your partner is doing the self-work with you.

O N E F i N E D AY i S A R E F R E S H i N G A LT E R N AT i v E TO T H E T R A D i T i O N A L B R i DA L FA i R

SYDNEY / NEW VENUE

MELBOURNE / NEW VENUE

P E R T H FA I R

T H E C U TAWAY

MELBOURNE

CLAREMONT

BARANGAROO

SHOWGROUNDS

SHOWGROUNDS

4 + 5 FEBRUARY 2017

6 + 7 M AY 2 0 1 7

11 JUNE 2017

F O R M O R E D E TA I L S V I S I T / O N E F I N E D AY W E D D I N g FA I R . c O M . A U

TICKETS ON SALE NOW

O N E F I N E D A Y I S P R O U D LY S P O N S O R E D B Y

Photo of Shonel Bryant

GENUINE ARTISANS WHEN PASSION BECOMES PURPOSE, THE PATH TOWARDS DISCOVERING YOUR TRUE IDENTITY BEGINS. Design + Styling: Nomad Styling | Photography: Brown Paper Parcel | Florals: Wild Daughter | Drinks: By The Glass | Furniture, Linen + Tableware: Harry the Hirer

F

our vendors imbued with creativity and sparked by their own imagination came together to craft this

breathtaking and serene scene. They channelled parts of themselves into the shoot, allowing their work to speak freely about their identity. And here we are, witnessing the result of their creative drive and purpose. Read on to discover more about these talented vendors.

39

vendor feature

SHONEL BRYANT Nomad Styling My personality is nomadic; it is boundless, wild and free. I’m forever searching for ways to grow, both personally and through my work. I always need to challenge myself or else I feel lost, without purpose. I thrive when I’m working on new and exciting projects and meeting new people; other like-minded souls who challenge me and make me grow.

I’m a romantic at heart so I think deep down that was a driving force pushing me into the wedding industry. The energy of each set-up day is like a caffeine hit direct to my soul. It’s truly electric—the high of seeing your designs come to life to me is magic. Seeing guests walk into the space in awe, the faces of the brides and grooms as they see it for the first time; I can literally feel the energy levels in the room rise. It’s become quite the addiction to me, and it’s also one of the driving forces for me to keep pushing forward with new ideas.

MATT ROBERTS + JYE GLASKIN

By The Glass We are very serious about what we do but we don’t take ourselves too seriously. We are fun, positive, professional, lighthearted … and can make a great martini!

We always wondered why you could not get a drink to the standard of the world’s best bars at a wedding. We felt that the food catering aspect had really lifted over the years but beverages were an afterthought. Drinks play such a pivotal role in the experience of the day, and serving beautiful and memorable cocktails does not have to mean “expensive”.

We love to celebrate and are very sociable people. We also love to see people smile. Weddings are a joyful occasion and it is nice to be a part of such a special day.

RACHELLE LEONARD Wild Daughter I love to live in the here and now. I live through my senses and am a bit of a pleasure seeker. I feel happiest when I have workers’ hands and a poet’s vision. I couldn’t take off my rose-coloured glasses if I tried.

A little while ago, I was really doing some soul-searching about where to take my business. I did a bit of meditating and this beautiful image popped into my mind of a woman holding a wild bouquet full of beautiful open blooms, wild grasses and things foraged from the land. I think of this woman holding a wild bouquet to represent her love whenever I create my florals and I guess that’s where the name “Wild Daughter” came from. I knew I wanted to serve the romantics out there and I wanted to create floral beauty to match their intensity.

The couples who contact me are really forging their own path in life. It’s an honour to be part of that. And it’s an opportunity to make art.

41

vendor feature

JESSICA TREMP Brown Paper Parcel I would describe myself as an ambivert who loves a dance floor equally as much as reading a book in the bath with a whiskey in hand; a pun joke enthusiast, loyal, stickler for board game rules, passionate and hardworking.

I think I’m sensitive to my surroundings in a photographic sense and a humanistic one too. I enjoy being thrust into the inner circle of people’s lives. I’ve sewn brides into dresses that have had a burst seam, carried uncountable jackets, umbrellas, handbags, lipsticks and spare shoes for guests, dried bridesmaids’ tears and shed a few of my own silently behind my camera during speeches. After the event I get to deliver images/memories that they hopefully cherish forever.

What keeps me staying in this industry is the incredible connections that are forged on such an emotional day. You start out as strangers and quite often come out the other side of this whirlwind of laughter, tears and cake, as friends.

PHO TO BYPHOT NATALI O B EYMCCOMAS NATALIE MCCOMAS | STYLING| BY STYLING THE GROVE

BY THE STYLING GROVE STYLING

GO UR M E T CAT E R ING FOR I N TI M AT E G ATH E R I N G S OF A N Y S I Z E US ING F R E S H , L OC A L A N D QU A L I T Y I N G R E DI E N T S

GO UR M E T CAT E R ING FOR I N TI M AT E G ATH E R I N G S OF A N Y S I Z E S E RV ICING B Y R O N B AY, TH E G OL D C OA S T A N D S U R R OU N DS US ING F R E S H , L OC A L A N D QU A L I T Y I N G R E DI E N T S

0439 656 063 • Y O UR GOU RMET.C OM.AU •

Y OU RG OU RMET C AT ERIN G S E RV ICING B Y R O N B AY, TH E G OL D C OA S T A N D S U R R OU N DS

0439 656 063 • Y O UR GOU RMET.C OM.AU •

Ad4.indd 1

Y OU RG OU RMET C AT ERIN G

30/09/2016 1:42 PM

BUSINESS FE ATURE

TA R ONG A Z OO AN EXOTIC WEDDING VENUE FOR THE WILD AT HEART.

It is one thing to see photos of the view and

Harbour Bridge. The bride enters from the top

What are the catering options that you

the spaces at Taronga Zoo online, but to truly

and floats down the steps through the guests

have available? We pride ourselves on our

understand how beautiful it is, you have to

to the ceremony space, which faces out over

extensive catering offering to all our weddings

come see it in person.

the view.

and events. You can choose from a simple

Why did you decide to offer weddings at

We have two reception venues on site; the first

Taronga Zoo? With such a beautiful, unique

and larger of the two being the Harbourview

location, hosting weddings at Taronga Zoo was

Ballroom, which seats 250 guests, or 350

an obvious choice! But it isn’t just about the

people in a cocktail setting. Set atop the hill

amazing view and the location—Taronga Zoo

of Taronga zoo, it features floor to ceiling

has been a part of Sydney for over 100 years

windows that span the length of the room,

so people feel a connection with it.

opening up the open concept space to the

What sort of services do you offer? We are proud to offer ceremony spaces as well as reception venues, world class catering by our talented in house team of chefs and audio-

spectacular view of Sydney Harbour. Guests get to watch one of the most beautiful sunsets in the world while they dine and dance the night away.

visual systems. We can also provide day-of

The second reception venue, the Harbourview

wedding collateral design, in-house printing

Terrace, very closely mimics the shape and

and a professional bridal attendant to ensure

layout of the Ballroom, but offers a slightly

everything goes smoothly on your big day. In

smaller space with a capacity of 150 seated

addition to this, we are uniquely positioned to

guests, or 180 cocktail guests. This room

offer extra experiences on top of our wedding

offers the same stunning view of the harbour,

packages, such as photo opportunities in the

and also includes floor to ceiling windows

grounds of the zoo, or the chance to wow your

across the width of the room.

guests with an up-close animal encounter.

buffet setting, host a beautiful three to five course sit down dinner, or a fancy cocktail style wedding. We offer three different package levels to all guests ranging from our classic package to our diamond package, while also offering a selection of beverage packages to suit your needs. If you want to add an additional food course to your menu, or to bring your own beverages, we can adapt our packages to suit your requirements.

What types of couples are attracted to a “zoo” wedding? We get all sorts of couples.

Some couples are attracted to the amazing view of the city, while others are interested in supporting wildlife conservation and are absolute animal lovers. Some people are looking for a venue that is outside the busy city where they can escape, and others have an affinity for Taronga Zoo because it means something to them.

What other unique experiences do you

Describe the ceremony and reception

offer with weddings? Depending on the time

locations you have on offer. Our ceremony

of day and how you are planning on arriving

space is located in the grounds of Taronga

at the venue, the bridal party or guests can

Zoo, and is commonly known as the Bird

take the sky safari cable car ride from the ferry

Show Amphitheatre. Once guests are seated

wharf up to the top entrance of the zoo as an

in the amphitheatre style seating, which

added experience. The sky safari floats above

curves around the ceremony space, they are

a number of Taronga Zoo’s exhibits such as

wowed with the amazing view that overlooks

the Asian Elephants, and looks out over the

tarongacentre@compas-group.com.au

Sydney Harbour, the Opera House and Sydney

water for a beautiful view of the city skyline.

tarongacentre.com.au

45

business feature

Photography by Fiona & Bobby Photography

THE SUM OF US

MARRIAGE IS AN INVITATION FOR TWO DISTINCT BACKGROUNDS TO COME TOGETHER, FORGING A NEW MEANINGFUL DYNAMIC IN THE PROCESS. Words: Cate Stephens | Photography: Kandice Breinholt

T

here is a lovely picture often taken at weddings, of the bride and groom leaving, with one little suitcase

between them for their honeymoon. It makes us smile, to think of new adventures, new love. It was with great surprise that I discovered that for every couple, there are always two suitcases, labelled his and hers.

When my brand new husband and I left on our honeymoon, I didn’t realise that I carried a suitcase packed to the brim with my life so far—my childhood, the way I was raised. My hurts and failures, my dreams and my insecurities. The fact that my family always puts tomato sauce in the fridge, and that as Whiteheads, we have decidedly frank discussions at the dinner table.

His suitcase carried many things I wasn’t aware of—a childhood affected by a naval father, a mother who was unwell, and the most immaculate standards of housekeeping in history. And just for fun, a complete lack of knowledge about country life.

(To this day his reactions to sheep make me laugh.) His family had always put condiments in the cupboard, and the dinner table was only for silent contemplation.

Our upbringing shapes so much of who we are. Functional or not, our ideas about life and identity are both formed

47

THE SUM OF US

through the family we are raised in, with all of its attendant quirks and ways of doing life. Some families never discuss discuss issues out loud, and others do not talk at all.

~

I can honestly say that the first few years of marriage are

“FUNCTIONAL OR NOT, OUR IDEAS ABOUT LIFE

challenging—and not just the daily confusion of where

AND IDENTITY ARE BOTH FORMED THROUGH THE

the sauce bottle should live. Two different family cultures

FAMILY WE ARE RAISED IN, WITH ALL OF ITS

money; some insist on dessert every night. Some families

are played out in one house; two world views, two value systems, two different ways of resolving conflict, and two

ATTENDANT QUIRKS AND WAYS OF DOING LIFE.”

hearts that have not necessarily arrived at this place without some hurt and damage.

For my husband and I, this was the real place of testing, the

As we raise our children, we are creating our own culture—one

place for us to choose to walk out our marriage vows. Our

that hopefully blends the best of both of us, and minimising

backgrounds had hidden hurts and belief systems that would

some of the things that weren’t so good. We work on our

rear their heads every now and then, vulnerabilities that we

relationship, and try to bring out the best in each other. Clifford’s

would sometimes trip over. As we have grown together, we

wonderful stability and steadfastness grounds me—in turn I

have found better ways of handling things. We have at times

make him laugh, and tell him that he’s my favourite.

unknowingly stepped on the other’s triggers, and learned to talk about them calmly. I have come to the realisation that his viewpoint and world view is not necessarily wrong, because it differs from mine. Our two families shaped who we are, and of course, who we are is why we fell in love! I owe Clifford’s family everything, because they produced my husband—to that end, I needed to embrace his family as I would my own, as they in turn embraced me.

We are so totally different—and our differences work together well, even while they drive us crazy. I have learned to look beneath the surface when dealing with opposing viewpoints—the why of what we do often carries more weight than the what, now that we have learned to know each other better.

Over the years, I have learned to value the differences in our two families—Clifford’s family has an order and preparation that mine didn’t, and my family has an emotional fluency and flexibility that his own lacked. Our family culture is formed by both of these things, and influenced of course by the crazy that our own personalities bring to the mix!

We have argued over things that don’t matter, and each has scored victories in terms of how our household is kept—the ironing is done a week in advance for the Stephens’;

49

THE SUM OF US

and from my family, our mealtimes are a joyful, noisy time

married nearly nineteen years ago. We have fought combined

where parents scarcely get a word in edgeways—unless

battles; we have grown up together. We have cried and

Mummy has to describe the function of a pancreas. I am my

laughed together, and chosen how we will respond to the

mother’s daughter, after all. We have learned from both of

circumstances that come our way. We have conquered

our families, and each one has given us ways of doing things

mountains together, and sprawled at the bottom of others in

that we believe in, and teach to our children.

defeat. Every day we are learning about ourselves and each

In the past twenty years, our family has taken some very hard

other, and choosing to face life hand in hand.

hits—and they have challenged us to find ways of dealing with

That choice is the crux of the merging of two families—the

it first as a couple, and then as a family. By now I know when

choice we made twenty years ago is played out as we chose

he is reacting out of his background, and he mine. We

to be an “us”—as we choose to walk together, and to value

cover each other’s weaknesses, we try to present a united

what the other brings. To choose to lay down some aspects

front wherever we can, and seek to make that unity a true

of our upbringing, and to keep others.

representation of us.

Even as we raise our own family, we are forming a combined

Who we are as a couple is more than just the sum of the two

identity that allows us each to be ourselves, but also allows

of us—together we are not simply the two people who were

for the greater thing we are when we are together.

BUSINESS FE ATURE

SUZ A NNE H A RWA RD A PIONEER OF AUSTRALIAN BRIDAL FASHION.

Since establishing her couture label as a

Harward’s signature high fashion wedding

the heart of each woman who desires to share

teenager in the leafy Melbourne suburb

gowns encompass era-spanning elegance,

in its magic.

of Elwood in 1975, Suzanne Harward has

rich layers of texture and a unique palette of

grown to become one of Australia’s most

muted tones.

inspiring high-fashion luxury brands. With a career spanning over four decades at the top of her industry, Suzanne Harward remains a definitive luminary in couture fashion design.

to refer to the burnished gold and silver leaf

to the heart of women who inspire and

found in many ancient manuscripts, however

possess divine enlightenment or transcendent

it actually refers to the painted decoration as

knowledge. She glows from within and radiates

a whole.

light wherever she goes. She is powerful,

suburb of Collingwood, the select team of

electric and bravely pierces the darkness with

artisans at Suzanne Harward go above and

her all-encompassing light and warmth. She is

beyond to ensure your wedding gown is

unashamedly luminous. She is the illuminati.

to life.

You are invited to personally view these extraordinary and strictly limited edition couture gowns at the Suzanne Harward showroom in Melbourne. Consultations are by appointment

Combining metallic accents of burnished

only and can be made by calling 03 8415 0688

gold and silver meshed with white, nude and

or visiting suzanneharward.com.

They offer custom, made-to-measure and

oyster tones, the overall feel of the collection

seasonal ready-to-wear lines that exhibit the

transports you to another realm of expanded

finest in luxurious textiles and complex couture

consciousness.

construction techniques.

illuminare, meaning “light up”, is often thought

The new 2017 collection, “Illuminati” speaks

Based in the modish inner-city Melbourne

everything that you had envisioned, brought

The word “illumination”, from the Latin word

Resembling poetry or a magnificent 18th

Inspired by the feminine sartorialist and

century artwork, each piece is left to the

info@suzanneharward.com

her innate sense of individuality, Suzanne

interpretation of the viewer and speaks to

suzanneharward.com

53

business feature

Photography by Sam Bisso for Farewell FiancÊ—@farewellfiance

S I M P LY S W E E T RELAXED LOOKS WITH A SOFT FEMININITY. Words: Amy Clarke—The Halcyon Agency | Illustrations: Inkling Design | Headpiece: Jennifer Behr

EFFORTLESS BRAID A new take on the ever popular boho look, this messy fishtail crown is chic and still formal enough to wear on your wedding day. Tug on the braided strands to expand the fishtail braid and pull out some extra wisps around the face for the ultimate effortless look. Warm up your skin using a gel or cream bronzer instead of powder on the high planes of the face. Define your brows with a brow pencil one shade darker than your brow colour. Following your natural shape, fill in any sparse areas. Using a peachy-toned cream blush, apply to the apples of your cheeks, temples and lips. Dust a bit of gold shimmery eyeshadow to your lids and inner corners of the eyes. Add a touch of gloss to your lips, and a few coats of waterproof mascara.

SOFTLY SWEPT Romantic, soft and natural describe this summer hair and makeup trend. Loose curls are effortlessly swept and pinned to one side with long bangs pulled out to frame the face. Make it formal with the addition of a bejewelled headband or crown.

Choose a tinted moisturiser mixed with a liquid highlighter to create flawless glowing skin. Dab a bit of cherry or berry matte lip colour to the centre of your lips using your fingers to blend outward. Use that same product to lightly flush the cheeks with colour. Lastly, brush up your brows with a clear brow gel, and apply one coat of mascara to the top lashes only.

55

simply sweet

A NEW HORIZON “SHE IS CLOTHED IN STRENGTH, EMBRACING HER INNERMOST SOUL.”

CREATIVE DIRECTION CARLA BURRELL PHOTOGRAPHY JAMES BENNETT PHOTOGRAPHY jamesbennett.com.au HAIR + MAKEUP JESS CHAPMAN jesschapman.com.au MODEL LUCY BLAY - CHADWICK MODELS SHOOT ASSISTANTS CHRIS WIGMANS, BEC O’DONOGHUE

DRESS LOST IN PARIS lostinparis. com.au EARRINGS + CUFF NICOLE FENDEL nicolefe ndel.com.au RING SAMANTHA WILLS samanthawills.com

57

a new horizon

THIS PAGE DRESS CLAIRE PETTIBONE COUTURE—LOVE MARIE lovemarie.com.au EARRINGS SALITA MATTHEWS salitamatthews. bigcartel.com OPPOSITE PAGE DRESS CANDICE LEE candicelee.com.au EARRINGS + CUFF ABBY SEYMOUR abbyseymour.com

59

a new horizon

THIS PAGE DRESS LOVER loverthelabel.com EARRINGS NICOLE FENDEL nicolefendel.com.au RINGS + CUFF ABBY SEYMOUR abbyseymour.com OPPOSITE PAGE DRESS GRACE LOVES LACE graceloveslace.com.au EARRINGS SALITA MATTHEWS salitamatthews.bigcartel.com

61

a new horizon

THIS PAGE DRESS LOVER loverthelabel.com OPPOSITE PAGE DRESS GRACE LOVES LACE graceloveslace.com.au NECKLACE SALITA MATTHEWS salitamatthews.bigcartel.com RINGS KAREN WALKER karenwalker.com, MEADOWLARK meadowlark.com.au

63

a new horizon

THIS PAGE DRESS JENNIFER GIFFORD DESIGNS jennifergifforddesigns.com NECKLACE YCL JEWELS ycljewels.com OPPOSITE PAGE DRESS LOST IN PARIS lostinparis.com.au EARRINGS + CUFF NICOLE FENDEL nicolefendel.com.au

65

a new horizon

THIS PAGE DRESS ANNA CAMPBELL annacampbell.com.au CROWN MILLELA COUTURE millelacouture.com OPPOSITE PAGE DRESS MADE WITH LOVE BRIDAL madewithlovebridal.com BRACELET ABBY SEYMOUR abbyseymour.com

67

a new horizon

BUSINESS FE ATURE

WA N A K A W EDDINGS “AND SO THE ADVENTURE BEGINS …”

A Wedding in Wanaka starts your journey of

With four unique seasons and endless

more of what Wanaka offers outside of the

a thousand steps, the beginning of a life with

wedding possibilities, the world is literally at

wedding festivities.

amazing memories. It is more than saying ‘I

your feet in this lakeside town. Ceremony

do’. Wanaka’s a destination that has the best

and reception venues are plentiful, quirky

setting to create genuine moments, you begin

woolsheds, tipis, contemporary spaces,

a relationship with the place, the people, you

glamorous lakefront lodges and scenic

fall in love with its beauty and it becomes a

vineyards, or settings of dramatic mountain

place you will never forget.

ranges, lakes and rivers. Each season so

Described by many to hold the “true essence of beauty”, this place ignites a sense of adventure between the couple, while calming the soul with

distinctive you can create a wedding with a difference - picture your perfect day, Wanaka will deliver.

its breathtaking mountain peaks, glittering

An extensive variety of accommodation is

lakes and humbling sense of wanderlust.

waiting for you, ranging from luxury lodges to

Wanaka takes boutique wedding vendors and places them directly into your hands, offering only world class, award winning creatives who are dedicated and inspired. Everything you

boutique villas, family style resorts, high-end

While your flitting between accommodation, wedding celebrations and thrill-seeking adventures, you’re going to need a way to get around. The Wanaka website has links to rental vehicles and local transfer services as well, consider joining one of their sightseeing tours if you have a bit of spare time and a thirst for adventure.

Head online to map out all the details for your dream New Zealand wedding. Let the adventures begin in Wanaka!

apartments, lakeside hotels to glamping. They are suitable for everyone, from larger weddings to smaller more intimate groups.

could possibly think of can be organised in this

And for the bridal party, family and guests,

small but talented town. There are wedding

how about a pre-wedding package of fun

planners, stylists, florists, caterers, celebrants,

filled activities? A girl’s weekend of pampered

car/marquee/prop hire, cake makers, hair

indulgence, fine food and wineries; the ultimate

stylists and makeup artists—they’re all there!

boys’ day of fishing or mountain biking; or an

And you can’t forget about the photographers

adrenaline adventure to amp them for the day

and videographers, who expertly capture all of

topped off with a local brew. The choices are

info@wanaka.co.nz

the intimate moments.

endless for those who want to explore

wanaka.co.nz

69

business feature

Photography by Micimage

SAASHA + SAMUEL I T A LY

“I CARRY YOUR HEART (I CARRY IT IN MY HEART).”—E.E. CUMMINGS PHOTOGRAPHY Amelia Fullarton

71

SA ASHA + SAMUEL

DEAR SAMUEL My soulmate, my partner in crime, my rock, my one and only, my one true love. I couldn’t imagine life without you by my side. Each and every moment with you is so special and I’m so happy to wake up next to you as man and wife. You are always so thoughtful, caring, loving, romantic, supportive and you make me smile, laugh and live each and every moment to the full. I’m so excited to see what the future holds. To endless adventures, dreams, love and happiness. Love you, always and forever! “I carry your heart (I carry it in my heart).”—E.E. Cummings.

73

SA ASHA + SAMUEL

75

SA ASHA + SAMUEL

DEAR SAASHA I feel so lucky, happy and humbled to be able to call you my wife. You really are, in the truest sense, the light of my life. With you, I feel home, I feel inspired, I feel ambitious, I feel loved. You are the most special person in my life and I can’t wait for all the grand adventures our future holds.

“The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.”—Mark Twain. I’ve been lucky enough to find out why—and that’s to build an empire with you of love, friendship and adventure. I love you, always and forever!

CEREMONY + RECEPTION Casa Angelina, Positano, Italy GOWN Jane Hill SHOES Nicholas Kirkwood GROOM’S + GROOMSMEN’S SUITS Suit Shop BRIDESMAIDS’ DRESSES Bianca Spender JEWELLERY Viktoria Novak (crowns), Aurélie Bidermann RINGS Canturi VIDEOGRAPHY Steve Jackson—Moon and Back FLORALS Antonello Santelia CAKE + CATERING + DRINKS + HIRE + SETUP Casa Angelina ENTERTAINMENT The Neapolitan Duo—Le Sirenuse CELEBRANT Mr Raffaele Dipino

SEE THE FULL WEDDING ONLINE

WHTE.CO/ W784 77

S AT E AN SH EXCLUSIVE CON T A + SAMUEL

STEPHANIE + TIMOTHY A U S T R A L I A

“HERE WE ARE ON THE CUSP OF SOMETHING BIG AND I AM READY TO JUMP BECAUSE WITH YOU IT IS EASY.” PHOTOGRAPHY Brown Paper Parcel

79

S tephanie + T imothy

DEAR TIMOTHY We did it. We got married! Now that the

lucky that we found each other when we

ceremony and the revelry are over, I want

were so young, that we have experienced

to thank you. Thank you for your support,

milestones, triumphs and tragedies

for your patience, for your kindness and for

together, continue to grow with each other’s

your devotion. Thank you for allowing me

constant support and plan for what is yet

to be everything I need to be. We both

to come. Here we are again on the cusp

strive for so much and I know I would

of something big and I am ready to jump

not be strong without you holding me up.

because with you it is easy. We are a team

I will always do the same for you. I feel

and I love you.

81

S tephanie + T imothy

DEAR STEPHANIE We’re just about to reach our first marital milestone, our one-year wedding anniversary and truly, I did not know what to expect from marriage. We had already been together for what has felt like a lifetime. You have been my best friend since we were 19. How could a piece of paper change a thing? Wow. I had no idea. Of course I have always wanted us to settle down together. There was never any question. But it was always, “In a couple of years, not just yet ...” But now it feels like it is finally here. I cannot wait to begin the next phase of our lives; starting a family, moving into a bigger home. Bring it on! It just can’t come soon enough. Over the past 12 years we have experienced so much. It’s already been a lifetime and yet, it’s only the beginning.

83

S tephanie + T imothy

CEREMONY + RECEPTION Laurens Hall, North Melbourne VIC GOWN Georgia Young Couture SHOES Gianvito Rossi—NET-A-PORTA GROOM’S + GROOMSMEN’S SUITS Oscar Hunt HAIR Phoenix Thomson MAKEUP Amy Kenny JEWELLERY Jennifer Behr—Bergdorf Goodman (headpiece), Sarah & Sebastian (necklace) RINGS Satomi Kawakita Jewellery PLANNING Local Gatherings STATIONERY Supply Paper Co. FLORALS Phil Huynh CAKE Fig & Salt CATERING + DRINKS Fig & Salt, Firecracker, CAB55 Coffee Van (dessert) HIRE + SETUP Harry the Hirer, Dann Event Hire, Local Gatherings CELEBRANT Gerard Van Dyck

SEE THE FULL WEDDING ONLINE

WHTE.CO/ W784 EXCLUSIVE CONTENT

85

S tephanie + T imothy

K A R LY + KURT U S A

“I TRULY COULDN’T IMAGINE MY LIFE WITH ANYONE ELSE.”

PHOTOGRAPHY Janneke Storm

87

K A R LY + K U R T

THE ELOPEMENT We didn’t get engaged! Kurt and I met at a

in the Valley of Fire State Park. It was the

baseball game under the lights 11-and-a-

windiest day, so it was the perfect place to

half years ago. We have a beautiful (almost)

get away from (most of) the extreme wind

four-year-old son, John. We both wanted

gusts! After we exchanged vows and rings,

to get married, but knew we wanted to

and had our “first dance”, we headed back

do something very small and intimate, so

into Las Vegas and had our wedding dinner

we decided to elope. We wanted it to be

at In-N-Out Burger! It did not disappoint

a day truly about just the two of us, and

and we continued walking through Fremont

our love for one another. We didn’t tell

(or Old Las Vegas). After our photographer

anyone … we kept it a secret for about a

Janneke and our videographer dropped

year-and-a-half.The day finally came, and

us off at our hotel, we changed into casual

it was amazing. We weren’t exactly sure

clothes, walked the strip and played cards.

where we would exchange our vows, but

It was the best day. I wouldn’t change a

we found the most amazing, private spot

single thing!

89

K A R LY + K U R T

AS A COUPLE …

Kurt and I are an amazing team. We love one another and care for one another deeply.

We complement each other in some ways (I’m the planner, he’s the spontaneous one) but have so much in common. We love to have fun, but we both also love to relax.

After almost 12 years together, we know one another pretty well inside and out. I truly couldn’t imagine my life with anyone else … he keeps life exciting, yet grounded.

91

K A R LY + K U R T

CEREMONY + RECEPTION Valley of Fire State Park, Nevada LV GOWN ASOS SHOES Steve Madden GROOM’S SUIT Hugo Boss JEWELLERY Guess (earrings) RINGS CrownRing VIDEOGRAPHY Alex Ball

SEE THE FULL WEDDING ONLINE

WHTE.CO/ W784 EXCLUSIVE CONTENT

93

K A R LY + K U R T

JESSICA + PAUL G R E E C E

“I CAN’T WAIT TO LIVE THIS PERFECTLY IMPERFECT LIFE WITH YOU!” PHOT OG R APHY C a ssa n dr a L a dr u

95

J essica + P aul

DEAR JESSICA This year has been the greatest of my life.

you will be. Jessica, I cannot wait to grow

It has been one crazy adventure up to this

with you and share with you everything

point and I can’t wait to experience every

I have to give. Together we will raise a

last breath that I have in this life with you.

family, and one day they will know your

Now that our amazing wedding is over, our

love as I have. Baby, we are best friends

next step begins. I know that I have always

and soon we will be parents. Sometimes it

told you this, but I hope that you realise, you

will be difficult and sometimes we will feel

make me stronger. You make me whole.

overwhelmed, but as long as I have you we

You are my everything. Every time I look at

will make it. I love you Jess and I can’t wait

you I can imagine what an amazing mother

to live this perfectly imperfect life with you!

97

J essica + P aul

DEAR PAUL Our wedding day … nothing was perfect,

you in all that you dream to do. I’m excited

but it was perfectly imperfect. Ultimately,

for the family that we will build … I know

it surpassed my wildest imagination.

our children will be strong and brave like

Saying my vows to you on that cliffside in

their father and grow to be capable and

Megalochori, Greece, everything slipped

kind. Since we first met, something inside

away other than you. I will always remember

of you spoke to something inside of me,

the way the setting sun looked on your

and that little thing continues to encourage

face and the way it felt on mine. In that

me every single day … to dig deeper, to

moment, before God, in an incredible place,

dream bigger, to walk in faith … Paul,

we became husband and wife. It was the

you are my everything. For the rest of our

happiest moment of my life. My prayer for

lives, I promise, no matter the blessings

our marriage is to always remember, that

or the challenges, to keep you always

like that day, life is perfectly imperfect, but

my first priority. I know that one day I will

through it all, we always have each other.

look into your wrinkly, smiling bright green

I pray that through the years we continue

eyes, and be so happy, because it all ends

to grow as individuals and as a couple. I

with you too … “And they lived happily,

promise to always support and encourage

adventurously, lovingly, imperfectly ever after.”

99

J essica + P aul

CEREMONY Chapel of Agios Nikolaos, Megalochori, Santorini, Greece GOWN Pronovias—The Bridal Loft GROOM’S SUIT Luca Falcone HAIR Bella Hair Stylist MAKEUP Eleni Ilio Makeup JEWELLERY Jamie Joseph Jewelry—Susan Campbell Jewelry (earrings), Jewelers Trade Shop (necklace) RINGS Jewelers Trade Shop PLANNING + HIRE + SETUP A&D Concierge FLORALS Betty Flowers Santorini CAKE Petranart CATERING + DRINKS Kapari Natural Resort ENTERTAINMENT Mr. Antonis Arvanitis, classical Greek musicians CELEBRANT John Kavallaris

SEE THE FULL WEDDING ONLINE

WHTE.CO/ W784 EXCLUSIVE CONTENT

101

J essica + P aul

BRIANNA + JORDAN U S A

“I FOUND MYSELF WHEN I FOUND YOU.” PHOT OG R APHY J osh u a M ik h a ie l

103

B rianna + J ordan

DEAR BRIANNA The hopes and dreams that I have for my

In my vows I wrote that “I believe in the

wife and I are special; they are part of what

sanctity of marriage, and that marriage is

keeps me falling in love with her every day.

good�. I hope to be proof to those around

So many of my hopes are for her, and for

me that marriage is still something to look

her future. I hope that she finds all of the

forward to and to hold on to tightly. I hope

happiness that she deserves and that she

to prove to people that although a marriage

seeks, and I know that I will be by her side

may take some work, it is completely worth

along the way, to share in it all. My dream

it. It’s good, despite what people say and

for us is that we not only continue to fall for

how people joke, and marriage is something

each other more as time goes on, but that

to look forward to. I hope to not only be

we can become one of those couples that

living proof of that to others, but to also be

her and I would always look at and admire.

daily proof of that to my wife.

105

B rianna + J ordan

DEAR JORDAN I hope that we always stay young together, and never lose our sense of wonder. I hope that we always, always like each other, and never lose that special crush we both have for each other. I look forward to the day we become parents together. I am pretty much excited to do all things together.

I am excited to see how marriage changes us and grows us as individuals, and also as one family. I hope that we prove all the marriage sceptics wrong ‌ so very, very wrong. I know we will though! I hope we never give up on each other or our love. I hope we can be a good example for other young couples. I hope we can both achieve all the things we dream of achieving, together. I have so many dreams for us, and know that together all things are possible. I hope we never get complacent, and that our hopes and goals for each other and ourselves are constant. I cannot wait to see all the amazing things the future holds for us. I feel like the luckiest to be forever yours. You are my one and only, and I am so excited to do life with you, as your wife! My biggest hope is that we always stay us, because together we really are the best. I never want to forget the way I feel about you now.

I plan to remind myself of that every day, and to relive our special wedding often to ensure I never ever forget, because it was magic. And it has been magic since the moment we met that day in Madrid, and I intend for it to stay that way. You will always be my fairytale dream guy. I know this will all take a lot of work, but you’re worth it. I love you so much, my love.

107

B rianna + J ordan

CEREMONY + RECEPTION Hummingbird Nest Ranch, Santa Susana CA GOWN Lihi Hod (ceremony), Grace Loves Lace (reception) GROOM’S SUIT Zara BRIDESMAIDS’ DRESSES Lulus.com, Show Me Your Mumu GROOMSMEN’S SUITS Men’s Wearhouse HAIR Samantha Springer (bride), Tory Bunting (bridesmaids) MAKEUP Maddalena Polizzotto JEWELLERY + ACCESSORIES Child of W ild (ring), Givenchy (earrings), Untamed Petals (headpiece), Gabriella New York (veil) RINGS Fancy Facets PLANNING Robin & Chris Clark VIDEOGRAPHY W ill Fryar STATIONERY Shine Wedding Invitations FLORALS Siren Floral Co. CAKE Aunty Joy’s Cakes CATERING + DRINKS Stonefire Grill (food), Liquid Catering (drinks) HIRE + SETUP Town and Country Event Rentals CELEBRANT Pastor Rick Savage—Montrose Church

SEE THE FULL WEDDING ONLINE

WHTE.CO/ W784 EXCLUSIVE CONTENT

109

B rianna + J ordan

WENDY + B IL LY U S A

“I PROMISE TO CHOOSE TO LOVE YOU THROUGHOUT MY LIFE, YOUR LIFE, AND OUR SHARED LIVES.”

PHOTOGRAPHY Laura Goldenberger Photography

111

W E NDY + B IL LY

HOW WE MET …

It was 1996. Kurt Cobain was dead.

kisses. We’ll wait until you’ve recovered

MTV still played music videos. And Bone

from the staggering cuteness of that. Okay

Thugs-N-Harmony’s “Tha Crossroads” and

ready? Together, we survived high school,

Blackstreet’s “No Diggity” were on heavy

Billy’s frosted tips, and Wendy’s unhealthy

rotation. Billy had a ‘59 Vespa and a warm

Twilight obsession. We drove across the

and surprisingly deep voice for someone

country with Kitty the dog, braved the

so young. Wendy wore white Dr. Martens

soul-crushing winters of Michigan, and

wingtips, purple rhinestone cat eye glasses,

hollered the lyrics to “California Love” during

and a vivacious naivety. We met in fifth

a Fatboy Slim DJ set in Barcelona at 5am in

period gym class on the bleachers, and

the morning during sunrise. In other words,

our first kisses were Eskimo and butterfly

it’s been an epic 16 years.

113

W E NDY + B IL LY

THE PROPOSAL Billy had the ring for six weeks before he proposed! I was having a bad time with my dissertation (I’m a newly-minted PhD) and constantly in a stressed mood so he never felt like it was the right time. After a particularly peppy Monday morning when I slayed a discussion with my advisor and some other grad students, I decided to take a joyful walk around Echo Park Lake, just down the street.

I grabbed our dog, Kitty (a black and white Chihuahua mix that I got when I was 19) and was headed out the door. To my surprise, Billy leapt up and insisted he go with me— before he had his morning coffee! If you know him, this is an unprecedented event. I was surprised but not startlingly so, so we strolled around the lake. He suggested we take a little reprieve at the lookout point by the statue, which is uncharacteristic as well. I shrugged it off and started musing about how many dogs might have jumped into the lake trying to chase these ducks. I was so wrapped up in calculating the likelihood that I didn’t notice Billy had gotten down on one knee with the ring until he softly said, “Wendy?” I turned and he asked, “Will you marry me?” I told him to SHUTUP. We ended up grabbing bottles of champagne and wine, ordering pizza, and watching Breaking Bad the rest of the day!

115

W E NDY + B IL LY

CEREMONY + RECEPTION Casa Verona, Palm Springs CA GOWN Free People SHOES Jeffrey Campbell GROOM’S SUIT Paul Smith MAKEUP Aunny De La Rosa JEWELLERY Maria Black, Free People PLANNING Katie De La Rosa Photography FLORALS Michelle Hook Floral Designs CAKE The Confection Co-op (cupcakes) CATERING + DRINKS CV BBQ

SEE THE FULL WEDDING ONLINE

WHTE.CO/ W784 EXCLUSIVE CONTENT

117

W E NDY + B IL LY

BUSINESS FE ATURE

W E DDINGS AT T IF FA N Y ’S JANUARY 2017 OPEN HOUSE WEEKEND.

Tiffany’s offers couples a beautiful purpose-

come and experience all that Tiffany’s has to

Weddings at Tiffany’s will also open in February

built Chapel, with unsurpassed, sweeping

offer. This is an exclusive opportunity whereby

2017 for eight days exclusively as a fine-dining

views of the magnificent Glasshouse

Weddings at Tiffany’s opens up to the public,

restaurant, giving people the opportunity to

Mountains. It is elegantly decorated in neutral

providing couples the chance to sample their

marvel at the views, savour the decadent

tones with antique pews, chandeliers and

cuisine, taste their wines and interact with

cuisine and relish in the full Tiffany’s experience.

polished hardwood timber flooring. The Chapel

their chefs, beverage managers, wedding

and reception area can seat 120 of your closet

coordinators and florists.

friends and family members in air-conditioned comfort, or if you prefer an outdoor garden wedding, Tiffanys offers their beautiful Garden Gazebo area filled with gardenias and camellias set in ‘old world charm’.

For further information, contact Weddings at Tiffany’s using the information below.

The January Open House Weekend provides couples the chance to come and meet a talented and collective group of professional wedding suppliers from both Brisbane and the Sunshine Coast, including photographers,

Weddings at Tiffany’s is hosting an Open

videographers, hair and makeup artists, cake

House Weekend in January 2017, and it’s set

makers, bonbonniere providers, styling and

to be the biggest and the best! Booked for

décor suppliers, wedding transport options and

Saturday January 14 and Sunday January 15

many more! The January Open House Weekend

from 10am-4pm, the Open House Weekend

is the perfect opportunity for couples to meet

info@weddingsattiffanys.com.au

provides a fabulous opportunity for couples to

all the vendors possible to service their wedding.

weddingsattiffanys.com.au

07 5494 2825

119

business feature

Photography by Tom Hall Photography + Jennifer Oliphant

UNMASKED

“LOVE TAKES OFF MASKS THAT WE FEAR WE CANNOT LIVE WITHOUT AND KNOW WE CANNOT LIVE WITHIN.”—JAMES ARTHUR BALDWIN Words: Tess Guinery | Photography: MGB Photography

“L

ady Wisdom calls—can you hear Madame Insight raising her voice? She’s taken her stand at First and

Main, at the busiest intersection … ‘I’m telling you how to live well, I’m telling you how to live at your best. My mouth chews and savours and relishes truth.’”—Excerpts from Proverbs 8.

I ask myself rhetoric questions to see what answers subconsciously return. That way, the answers can be delivered intuitively without the expectation of needing to be rounded, because they are indeed questions asked—open-ended.

Our truest stance always comes easy when the curtains are open, the moon is high and the sun after midnight has permission to rise unguardedly. So here I am. It’s a Friday night. The candles bloom and tomorrow is spacious in all its beauty. Who cares if the tears fall and the answers are ugly?

I delve, I ask, and I let the truth find me, asking myself the bold questions with vulnerability: “Do I walk around the living room of marriage with a mishmash of masks collected over time? Do I dance my song with an array of masks gathered to portray a hoped aroma—concealing who I am really called to be?” The questions fly freely around the coral-coloured walls

121

UNMASKED

of our 1960s shack and I let the returning words banter with themselves as I collect them like glimmering dragonflies, one by one.

For the longest time in my early 20s, I masqueraded around sheepishly as though I had nothing to say. Masking my most colourful and beautiful parts, dumbing them down, stripping them of their dignity, burying them, hiding them and painting them with a false mask so that I could never be seen as “too much”.

I was very aware that the ruffling of feathers was indeed an open field I didn’t have the boldness for, so I kept myself composed and neatly packaged, habitually conditioning myself quiet; so quiet that my reflection mirrored a very polite mask; a mask constructed by my own bare hands.

A chameleon of life.

It wasn’t until my first taste of love that I found myself in a place where I was able to recognise my masks. I commanded them to step off their thrones and surrender. I was led here by my deep desire to have an intimate connection with the man I would spend my forever with. It was at this moment I realised how much I had censored myself. The revelation was awakening yet alarming, liberating yet confronting.

~ “ALL UNMASKING AND INTIMACY I HAVE EVER COME TO SEE UNFOLD IN OUR MARRIAGE HAS TAKEN FLIGHT FROM ONE NON-NEGOTIABLE TRUTH, AND THAT IS, CHOOSING TO BE A COMMUNICATOR.”

The tenacious delver in me wanted nothing more than to burrow to the bottom of it, shake it off, dance it out, and ask myself the real questions all in the name of LOVE. Who am I, anyway? Did I even know how to be brutally honest with myself? Who am I created to be? What is my purpose? I let myself run full tilt into the questions and let Lady Wisdom lead.

Humans learn through patterns, and through a pattern that has taken shape in my life by the likes of the most consistent man I have ever known I have found myself in this beautiful place of surrender. My lover living life fully and openly, gently led me down a path of truth where no stone was left unturned, embracing all parts of me, calling me lovely, and drawing out my most colourful eccentricities—nothing alarmed him. The more I shared, the greater his love. It was clear that he himself had encountered a love so perfect he was able to intimately show his true self, unmasked and without fear. He entered our love adventure with his masks left on the ground, and in turn I chose to take off mine.

I write this next string of thoughts with every fibre of internal conviction. It’s become the rhythm of my heart, the beat of my revelation: All unmasking and intimacy I have ever come to see unfold in our marriage has taken flight from one nonnegotiable truth and that is, choosing to be a communicator.

Be a conversationalist. Even if you are not naturally that way inclined, choose it. You can never talk too much. Just talk and talk and talk until there is no more to talk about. It’s in

123

UNMASKED

the talking that our self-created defences and masks casually

to a day, situation or circumstance to find victory—even

fade without the need to fight to get them to surrender—we

when we feel like avoiding it or masking it. The choice to

barely even need to command them to leave. When we talk,

wear a cloak is not a mask but a decision to maturely partner

they romantically fall to the ground in the light of truth. A dear

with Lady Wisdom to fearlessly make the trek to freedom’s

friend once said to me that it’s in the telling of our stories that

destination. It’s a matter of not letting our emotions dictate

we find freedom (unmasking). Each time we tell our story we

our decisions, because we all know that emotions tell fibs. It

reach a new level of boldness in revealing truth and the

is the fibs that create these masks.

layers that engulf our story. We can tell our stories until Lady Wisdom leads us to a conclusive victory. This is what I like to think of as a mask growing wings and flying away, the resolve is the wind.

When a mask makes its home over us, fear is the gate in which it enters and makes itself a resident, compelling us to cling to the comfort of all that is mediocre. It takes a listening ear to hear Lady Wisdom whisper her revelations—let the

Masks conceal, but I’m thankful for the Zorro mask my love

rebel in you call her out, strip her off and sway into freedom,

wore when chasing me whilst nervously shaking underneath

because keeping a mask is a lot more work than taking

it. I needed a confident man, someone who knew what he

it down. So why not just have some truths with your next

wanted and wasn’t afraid to go for it. His confident love was

cup of tea? Don’t let another moon settle on the brow of

my undoing. Maybe some masks have their place. Or maybe

your mask, choose the uncomfy and dance accordingly.

masks of this nature could be kindly referred to as a cloak—

Your bravery will be rewarded with intimacy, connection and

you know those days when you put on a cloak of joy? Even

freedom as you shed your skin and find your heart. A mask

when you’d much rather be moping around in your stripey

can’t stick to you when your arms are in the air and your feet

pyjamas. Sometimes we need to choose a better approach

are moving to the beat of victory’s call.

Photographer: Chris Prestidge @Dusk

Kelly Hopkins 0424 235 113 kelly@thewhiteavenue.com.au w w w. t h e w h i t e a ve n u e. c o m . a u

T HE R E L AT IONSHIP TA L K TAKE SOME TIME TO EXPLORE WHO YOU ARE WITHIN YOUR RELATIONSHIP. Words: Sabrina Peters | Photography: Rachel Photographs (See page 18 for full story)

1

WHAT ARE YOU PASSIONATE ABOUT?

2

3

WHERE ARE YOU MOST AT EASE?

WHAT VALUES DO YOU HOLD DEAR?

4

5

WHAT MOMENTS HAVE DEFINED YOUR LIFE?

WHAT KIND OF FAMILY DO YOU WANT TO RAISE ONE DAY?

6

HOW DO YOU WANT TO BE REMEMBERED?

destination | real-life | documentary wedding | photojournalists

minkstudio.com.au shoot@minkstudio.com.au

THE GR ACE TO GROW

EACH NEW MARITAL SEASON INVITES CHANGE, AND HAVING THE PATIENCE AND DEDICATION TO GROW THROUGH THESE TOGETHER IS KEY. Words: Lynnette Lounsbury | Photography: Nicole Schiessl

O

ver a decade ago I, a freshly minted high school teacher, married a handsome young American medical

student. Both fresh out of University, we had plans to travel, probably get a cat instead of kids, work and maybe even live overseas—New York always sounded good. There were many plans. A couple of handfuls of years later and I’m a writer and history lecturer who is now married to a filmmaker.

I’ve travelled a bit, got a dog two months ago, and have two wild boys (human) running around my house—which is in Sydney, not New York.

Those two couples have so little in common. Most of their ideals have changed, they have realised that life is full of grey areas, that finding your place is hard and veering down the overgrown, less travelled path is even harder. In fact the only thing they do have in common is that they are exactly the same people. Oh, and they still love each other.

I hadn’t thought about marriage very much when I walked down the aisle into it. It was something nebulous, something with a warm filter over the top of it—a place where the flowers never died. What it actually was—was pressurised.

I discovered we had dozens of responsibilities—we were paying rent, electricity, we had to feed ourselves, make sure our car worked (it often didn’t) and on top of all of that,

129

the grace to grow

we discovered that my husband couldn’t work in Australia until he completed an expensive and lengthy accreditation course so that he could work as a nurse while he finished his medical degree. He hated it. Hated it enough that his entire life-plan changed in those few months. It was something

~

neither of us had anticipated and suddenly paying the rent

“I FELT, TO MY CORE, THAT HIS GROWTH AS AN

and feeding ourselves was more of a problem than we had

ARTIST, DIMINISHED ME. I FELT LESS AS HE

counted on.

BECAME MORE.”

It wasn’t a reinvention for him. He had always loved story and film. For him the change in direction fit perfectly with changing countries and getting married—it was a fresh start. For me—it was earth-shaking. I was now the sole provider and I was working two jobs watching the man I had all packaged up and labelled, breaking out and wandering off around the world to make documentaries and films …

without me. I felt, to my core, that his growth as an artist diminished me. I felt less as he became more. Sure, I still loved him. But I didn’t feel as though I had any idea how to be a part of a partnership with him. I didn’t know how to allow myself to evolve separately and still stay close to each other. It was an emotionally swampy mess of a time and I approached it without grace.

Finding our identity is hard enough on our own. We are both

~ “WHEN SOMEONE CHANGES IT IS A CHANCE TO LOVE THEM ALL OVER AGAIN, TO LEARN FROM THEM AND TO PUSH THEM TO BE BETTER.”

lucky and blessed to live in a country and a time where we have a great many options about who we want to be and how we want to live and if we find that a part of our lives isn’t working for us—we can change it. We can explore new career paths, learn new skills, make new friends. But none of it is easy. There is a sense of being in an over-lit change room, naked and surrounded by mirrors, each exposing flaws you’d forgotten you had.

what happens if your partner becomes incredibly successful, and you don’t? According to psychoanalyst Beverly Engel, when their partner’s identity evolves or shifts people tend give up a part of themselves to make things work in the new dynamic. People tend to try and fit in with the new identity of

In a marriage you are negotiating two of these complex

their partner, whether it suits them or not, just to make things

journeys and trying to make sure they stay intertwined. What

work. And this rarely succeeds. When you try to conform

if they come to love something you have no interest in at all?

to someone else’s identity you can lose your own, and as

What if you develop different political passions? What if your

Eckhart Tolle said, “When you lose touch with yourself,

partner fails at the one thing they desperately want? Worse—

you lose yourself in the world.” Trying to fit someone else’s

131

the grace to grow

identity will leave you depleted and empty and your partner

we change or we stagnate, and when someone changes it is

may feel exhausted by having to be the centre of your world.

a chance to love them all over again, to learn from them and to

The importance of continually developing and expanding your identity as an individual within marriage is as important as realising that this identity will change as time passes. I didn’t realise this until I became pregnant with my son. And it wasn’t the pregnancy that really gave me an understanding of the way identity changes, though motherhood is one of

push them to be better. It is also a chance to allow yourself to be inspired, and supported. I also found that in stepping away from the fear of being left behind, I understood that the journey isn’t about who is ahead or behind, it is about being beside each other, and having the grace to allow the other to grow their own way.

the greatest shifts in identity any woman will face. What

So we wrote and we made short films. We changed

changed things for me, was leaving my job. I realised in the

nappies and were broke together and we became a new

space of walking away from something I thought I would

partnership. We found that there is a tremendous serendipity

do for most of my life, that I wasn’t that person anymore.

in supporting others in finding their place. My first novel was

That I wanted to do something different. This gave me a

published just six months before his first feature film was

new understanding of my husband’s explorations of his own

released and with those cocoon emergences came new

identity. I wanted to write, and the shake up of having a child

identities again, ones that this time, we were ready to see for

gave me the chance to reconfigure a life that allowed me to

what they were—not threatening to our partnership, but just

do it. We forged our new paths separately as a writer and

the next evolution of it. We found the truth in the wise and

a filmmaker, but also together as creatives and parents. I

beautiful words of Michael Wood, who said that identity is

climbed out of my swamp by realising that as time passes,

“always in the making, never made.”

BUSINESS FE ATURE

CHRISTIAN MARC PHOTOGR APHY CAPTURER OF EMOTIONAL HONESTY IN A NATURAL STYLE.

Christian Marc is a talented Victoria-

work). I drove out there and volunteered my

What do you love about photographing

based wedding photographer who loves

time to learn about how he worked and helped

weddings? I connected, and still do, with the

to be able to create an atmosphere

him with things that needed to be done in his

love between couples and the emotions and

where a couple can be their authentic

business in return.

intimacy that occurs on wedding days between

selves in front of the lens. He limits himself to 30 weddings per year so that he can put an immense amount of love into them before, during and after. Read on to find out more about this passion-driven photographer.

Through this experience and for the following six years afterwards, I spent a lot of time reading, researching and feeling my way around what elements I find create powerful and authentic images. I’m always learning and

When did you fall in love with photography?

am hungry for more knowledge, whether it be

I had always loved photography but made the

on the technical or emotional side of my work.

decision to invest myself into it to provide a service to others after a backpacking trip through Europe with my (now) wife, Shani. We visited my grandfather who has always throughout his life been the “guy with the camera” at every event. He keeps a whole room in his home dedicated to photo films and slides, including my mum’s time up to adulthood and my first years of life.

What was the first shoot you did? My first shoot under my own business was for a beautiful couple with an equally beautiful story.

She was a local on the Peninsula in Victoria and he was from Italy, living in Australia for only three months prior, speaking almost no English, and they fell in love … hard! I’ll always remember them—we are still friends to this day and they now have two children. They’re still

their families also. I generally photograph weddings and portraits of couples. Being able to observe all the connections, interactions, real emotions and expressions of love between people is a moving experience that continues to change me to this day.

Where do you draw your inspiration from?

I’ve always been a deep thinker and I suppose an empathetic soul, so I love people watching, studying human behaviour and creativity.

I draw inspiration from my subjects in the moment. Style-wise over the years I’ve found it’s best to follow your heart and intuition. In other words, how an image makes you feel—if you connect with what you create, most often others will too.

Something in me was inspired to be able

very much in love! It’s a powerful thing, love. To

What do you bring to your photography?

to show the unique and beautiful qualities

have another see something in you they want

Me. My appreciation of love and the world

of people to them; to tell their stories; to

to spend every moment near.

around me. I’m looking for the light in others

see something in them they may not see in themselves; to see love in humanity. I came back home on a mission, which I now live.

Why did you decide wedding photography was your calling? There was a challenge

and their individual story—every couple has their own.

and personal growth for me learning to see

How did you go about becoming a

humanity and life’s significance beyond what

photographer? In my first year, I approached

most may take the time to notice. I knew I

a photographer an hour or so away from

cared about this by the honour I felt being in

@christianmarcphotography

where I lived (I connected at the time with his

the presence of and witnessing love.

christianmarcphotography.com.au

135

business feature

STILL THE ONE I LOVE

ROS + JONNY: A HAPPY HARMONY Photography: Lara Hotz Photography

R

os and Jonny share memories of togetherness; years fortified by commitment and love. They have survived

the turbulence, weathered the mundane, relished in the joys and discovered “home” to them was each other. And here they reflect on their 60-year journey, with the hope that it will inspire and encourage couples on their own marital adventure.

How did you meet? Ros: I first met Jonny when I was only 11 or 12. He was my big brother’s best friend and came to our flat quite often. He used to tease me by saying that when I grow up he would take me out. I think I already had a crush on him. Jonny: I was introduced to Ros at a social when she was just 15 by her brother who was a good friend of mine. I always say I bought her for two shillings and six pence, the price of a ticket to the social. (Ros remembers me coming to her flat to see her brother when she was younger, but as far as I’m concerned she was just a child at 11 and the social was our first real meeting.)

How did your partner propose? Ros: My father died when I was only 11 and my brother soon took over the role of my father looking after me and my mother. If I remember correctly, Jonny and I started going out together when I turned 16 and we went steady for three to four years. He often discussed marriage so it was not an out of the blue proposal, more like a few conversations. When we were

137

still the one I love

ready, we approached my mother and brother to tell them we wanted to get engaged. Our parents were over the moon

~

(as was I!). Jonny: Proposals were not a grand event like

“MARRIAGE IS A LIFE OF SHARING THE

they are nowadays. If you were going steady for a while it’s

GOOD AND THE BAD; A PARTNERSHIP OF

because you both want to get married. We started going steady when she was 17. When Ros turned 19, I proposed at the blue lagoon—a spot the kids used to go. It was a

GOING THROUGH ALL STAGES TOGETHER IN HAPPY HARMONY.”

drive-in café overlooking the sea in Durban.

Do you remember your wedding day? What was it like?

Ros: I will never forget our wedding day. I was very nervous

two-week honeymoon. Most of the bridal party, our family and friends, were and still are such an important part of our lives.

and excited. Hanging on to my brother’s arm, I was pulling

How did you know your partner was the one? Ros:

him down the aisle. I still remember a voice from one of my

Knowing each other for so long, I think we both knew that

aunt’s saying, “Slow down! Stop running.” From then on, I

we had similar natures, the same important values and above

relaxed and enjoyed every minute of it—especially the service

all, respect for our families and each other. Jonny: It felt like

in the synagogue. Jonny: Our wedding was great in every

we just fit together naturally. Our mutual closeness to our

way and I remember everything about our day. The marriage

family and friends, our love of the same things in life, and

ceremony at the synagogue, the afternoon reception, the first

I fell I love with her nature. She was always so nurturing of

dance (a romantic waltz), the speeches and the wonderful

everyone, including me.

139

still the one I love

How have you kept your relationship strong all these

retired and kids are raised, it’s important to have hobbies

years? Ros: Togetherness. We have done so much together

and interests, both individual and together. Ros goes to

as a family and still do. We have three lovely children who

the gym, plays cards with friends, does aquarobics and is

are so much a part of our relationship. Now we just enjoy all

always cooking up a storm. I love to paint, collect stamps,

that our children have brought into our life, especially our five

and create children’s books for my grandkids. Together we

granddaughters, our extended family and our friends. Jonny:

love to take walks, go on travel adventures, spend time with

Our relationship has never wavered. Shared responsibility,

family and friends, and we just like being together … going

praise and support have kept us close and strong as we

to sit in Centennial Park to relax and hold hands. We hold

created a life together. Also always having things we love doing

hands wherever we go.

both individually and together has kept our relationship strong.

What is marriage to you? Ros: Marriage is a life of sharing

What advice do you have for young couples? Ros: Be

the good and the bad; a partnership of going through all

100 per cent caring of each other and honest. If a problem

stages together in happy harmony. It’s the joy of life together

does arise, learn to compromise a bit. All problems will,

and with a close-knit family. Jonny: Ros and I have had 60+

sooner than later, sort themselves out. Don’t go to bed

years together—it is love, friendship, support and security.

without a goodnight kiss. Don’t be scared to apologise.

There’s nothing greater than memories of all the good times,

Jonny and I never leave home without saying goodbye

hard times, sad times and wonderful times in our life and the

and giving each other a kiss. Jonny: A happy marriage is

amazing examples from our parents. From our marriage has

something brought about by joint responsibility, family and

come three children, five granddaughters, two grandsons-

great friends. Solve problems quickly and together, and

in-law, and we hope to see some great grandchildren very

above all, respect one another. When you get older and are

soon. We do not know any other or better way of life.

DEEZIGNER IMAGES

DARLING DOCUMENTARIES

Dee is a visual storyteller. Her images are filled with real emotion and intrinsic detail, and captured in a way that they could fill pages in a magazine.

Your dream day, in words. Created by a professional writer, your wedding story is filled with intimate insights for you to reminisce over throughout your happily ever after.

info@deezignerimages.com | deezignerimages.com

hello@darlingdocumentaries.com | darlingdocumentaries.com

CHANTELLE MATCHES PHOTOGRAPHY

DEB BOOTS LOVE STORIES

Capturing natural and intimate moments for the love-filled couples!

“I take pictures at weddings. Heartfelt portraits and colourful documentary photography to capture the fun and authentic moments. I’m Brisbane-based but available for travel throughout Australia.”

enquiries@chantellematchesphotography.com chantellematchesphotography.com

deb@debboots.com.au | debboots.com.au

LITTLE CAR PHOTOGRAPHY

LUCI DI BELLA DESIGN HOUSE

“I work organically to capture your personality, unique love story, real emotions and the mood of your wedding day.

The perfect option for the creatives, the free-spirited and authentic people.”

“Specialising in affordable, made-to-measure bridal couture, we create contemporary wedding dresses to suit our brides’ personality, figure and wedding location. Visit our website to view our latest collection.”

sarah@littlecarphotography.com.au | littlecarphotography.com.au

enquiries@lucidibella.com | lucidibella.com.au

TONY EVANS PHOTOGRAPHY

SARAH MOORE

“I love capturing that little moment in weddings that would otherwise go unnoticed. I think weddings should be about the love and the friends and the family, not the photos—but you should still have awesome photos to show for it …”

“It’s all about photographing people in love, beautiful, genuine imagery and laughter … lots and lots of laughter.” Sarah is an accredited professional photographer based in the Blue Mountains but available Australia wide.

tony@tonyevansphoto.com.au | tonyevansphoto.com.au

info@sarahmoore.com.au | sarahmoore.com.au

SEPTEMBER CREATIVE

ELVI DESIGN

Pretty floral stationery, clear acrylic seating charts and beautiful hand-lettered geode place cards are just a snippet of what September can create for your big day. Say hello!

Elvi Design is a Perth-based bridal studio for brides seeking an alternative to ‘off-the-rack’ wedding gowns. Designer, Sandra, is focused on designing and creating bespoke gowns from high-quality materials to suit each client.

hello@septembercreative.com.au | septembercreative.com.au

info@elvidesign.com.au | elvidesign.com.au

SOPHIE BAKER PHOTOGRAPHY

GEORGIE JAMES PHOTOGRAPHY

“People are extraordinary. I crave making images that are real, honest, raw and beautiful. Let’s adventure together and make photo magic … and then be friends!” *high five*

Fresh, natural, spontaneous—capturing big moments, little details and all the happiness in between. Book us to have a wedding captured with candid, natural and un-posed images.

hello@sophiebakerphotography.com | sophiebakerphotography.com

hello@georgiejames.com.au | georgiejames.com.au

143

market place

AUBREY ANNE PHOTOGRAPHY

MOMENT SEEKER FILMS

“Hi my name is Aubrey, and I’m a passionate photographer!

I love taking pictures of fun, groovy humans and capturing the real moments that pass between two people in love.”

Hand-crafted, honest and real, Moment Seeker Films captures your wedding in an authentic way, making you feel as if you were reliving it all over again.

hello@aubreyannephotography.com | aubreyannephotography.com

hello@momentseeker.com.au | momentseeker.com.au

TIMBERMILL

DANIEL FERRIS

Are you after beautiful furniture items for your event?

Timbermill offers a bespoke hire collection comprised of handcrafted furniture pieces, steel items and custom display props. Currently servicing the greater Sydney region, NSW, Australia.

“You are important to me. Your story is incredibly special, completely unique and truly important. I’m there to understand that ... to seek out genuine meaning, to capture honest emotion and beautiful moments. It’s so much more than just taking beautiful images. It’s heart and soul.”

rentals@timbermill.com.au | rentals.timbermill.com.au

daniel@danielferris.com.au | danielferris.com.au

LIGHT & TYPE

ALLI OUGHTRED

“Light & Type are our two great loves. Light is what we chase, covet and capture for romantic and tonal wedding photography. Type is what we craft, hone and embellish for beautiful stationery and invitation design.”

A master of mood, light and shadow, Alli is a photographer who intuitively blends an editorial eye with a romantic comprehension of emotion, making her a truly unique capturer of the wedding story.

nicole@lightandtype.com.au | lightandtype.com.au

allioughtredweddings.com

S U B S C R I B E T O D AY Win a YCL Jewels Bespoke ring set, valued at AU$722.

GO INTO THE RUNNING white brings together stories of love and life—personal narratives of laughter, romance, oftentimes tragedy, but always hope. We hold marriage up to the light, and use our pages to venture into honest, clever and meaningful conversations about all the unglamorous parts of marital (mis)adventure. White is your companion in the trenches and triumphs of life as a two-person love-troop.

Subscribe and you could win a YCL Jewels Bespoke Mahal and Shambhala ring set, valued at $722. YCL Jewels are designed by founder Fabienne Costa for the modern and mindful woman. Ethically made in India using A-grade gemstones, YCL’s Bespoke range is perfect for engagements, weddings or “just because”. Fabienne’s pieces have been worn by Jennifer Hawkins, Delta Goodrem, and recently at Paris Fashion Week by Lena Perminova. To go into the running, follow the link below to complete the competition entry form and purchase a subscription.

SUBSCRIBE HERE

LE T’S GE T SOCIAL

WHTE.CO/SUBS WHITEMAG.COM

145

at first sight

ENDLESS I N S P I R AT I O N

Our online Directory is a mecca for wedding planning; an intuitive little hub full of the best creatives in the business.

Find your dream team today. whitemag.com/directory

WHITEMAG.COM

for human beings, who care about the small things, while the world happens around them.

m o r g a n r o b e r t s p h o t o g r a p hy . c o m