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SOUTH WEST DECEMBER 2013
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We would like to thank all the readers of What’s Up Xtra Magazine for your continued support. The magazine was started over 8 years ago as a small local publication in Chicago and has grown throughout the area, surrounding suburbs , and now into Southern Wisconsin to be one of the most recognized comprehensive local bar directories of its kind. Our “grass root marketing” strategy has proven an effective tool for our publication and is designed to be used as a tool for our readers to plan where they will be spending their afternoons, evenings, and hard earned dollars. Magazines have maintained popularity with readers through the years and have proven that magazine advertising and readership will stand the test of time. We encourage our readers to support your communities and to patronize your local businesses!
May Peace be your gift in this Holiday Season and your Blessing in 2013!
TABLE OF CONTENTS
OUR ST A FF keith romack publisher
6 OUT AND ABOUT PHOTOS 7 all mixed up
Lisa romack Sales Director
8 news of interest 10 OUT AND ABOUT PHOTOS x
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12 ASK THE WINO 14 things to do in december 16 OUT AND ABOUT PHOTOS
Front page photo taken at Zante’s The name What’s Up Xtra Magazine is a registered trade name, and use of this name is strictly prohibited. The contents of this publication are copyrighted What’s Up Xtra Chicago Magazine -2012 We encourage our readers to write their stories, send photos, and make comments. All submissions sent to us by phone, email, fax, or handwritten become the property of What’s Up Xtra Chicago Magazine.
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18 HOROSCOPE 19 bartender of the month 20 Sudoku and crossword puzzle
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22 are you smarter than chester 26 music review 28 tales from the chris 30 OUT AND ABOUT PHOTOS CHECK OUT
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The Save
Barrack Obama was out jogging one morning along the parkway when he tripped, fell over the bridge railing and landed in the creek below. Before the Secret Service guys could get to him, 3 kids who were fishing pulled him out of the water. He was so grateful he offered the kids whatever they wanted.
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The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be. Ralph Waldo Emerson: American essayist, lecturer, and poet
The first kid said, “I want to go to Disney World.” President Obama replied, “No problem, I'll take you there on Air Force One.” The second kid said, “I want a new pair of Nike Air Jordan shoes.” Barrack said, 'I'll get them for you and even have Michael Jordan sign them.” The third kid said, “I want a motorized wheelchair with a built in TV and stereo headset.” President Obama was a little perplexed by this and said, "But you don't look like you're handicapped." The kid replied, “I will be after my dad finds out I saved you from drowning." FACEBOOK.COM/WHATSUPXTRAMAGAZINE
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ALL MIXED UP
By Lisa Romack
A great way to officially kick off the holiday season is to mix up a festive drink! How luscious is this Christmas cocktail? I had a hard time this month narrowing it down to just 3, so in the spirit of the season I felt like giving (and drinking), so I threw in a few
extra recipes this month. From our family to yours, wishing you, your families and friends a very safe and happy 2013 Holiday Season and best wishes for the New Year!
Gingered Pear and Brandy Cocktail
Apple Jack Rabbit
Rich Dark Chocolate Martini
For the holiday season, mix up a traditional cocktail that was introduced back in 1965…The Apple Jack Rabbit. This drink gets its sweetness from maple syrup!
Having a group over for the holidays? This is a great cocktail you can whip up ahead of the game that is a timely concoction for any party! Refrigerate it until you’re ready to shake and serve.
Ingredients: ½ oz Captain Morgan 1 oz Apple Brandy ¾ oz Fresh Lemon Juice 2 oz Fresh Orange Juice ½ oz Maple Syrup Mint Sprig and Apple Slices for garnish
Ingredients: ¼ Cup Water 3 Tablespoon Sugar ¼ Cup Chopped Peeled Fresh Ginger 3 Cups Pear Juice 1 Cup Cognac Lemon Rind Twists for garnish
1. Fill up a cocktail shaker with ice and combine all of the ingredients. Shake and pour into a Mason jar and garnish.
Combine ¼ cup water and sugar in a small saucepan over medium heat; cook until sugar dissolves. Remove from heat. Add ginger. Cover and let stand 15 minutes. Strain sugar mixture through a fine sieve. Discard solids. Chill sugar mixture 30 minutes or until ready to use. 2. Fill a cocktail shaker half full with ice. Add sugar mixture, juice, and cognac; shake until chilled. Strain ½ cup mixture into a martini glass. Garnish each serving with 1 lemon twist.
Mistletoe Mojito
The Midnight Kiss
It features the flavors of a classic mojito, rum and mint, but with a delicious holiday twist!
You may not be able to count on a midnight kiss tonight, but you can bet there will be plenty of sparkling wine at any New Year’s Eve soiree. With only two ingredients in this pink, 169-calorie drink, you won’t be stuck mixing and muddling, should a cutie happen to walk into the party!
Ingredients: 1oz Fresh Lime Juice 1 Tablespoon Sugar 8 Fresh Mint Leaves
2 oz White Rum 2 Teaspoons Pomegranate Seeds 4oz Pomegranate 7UP 1 Lime Wedge & 1 Mint Sprig for garnish
1. In a highball glass, muddle lime juice, sugar and mint leaves until sugar is dissolved. 2. Add rum and pomegranate seeds. 3. Fill glass with ice and top with Pomegranate 7UP. Garnish with mint sprig and lime wedge. FACEBOOK.COM/WHATSUPXTRAMAGAZINE
This festive cocktail is knee-weakening decadence in a glass. The indulgent combination of Van Gogh’s Rich Dark Chocolate Vodka, espresso, and a lip-smacking hint of salt will quickly become your favorite holiday vegan drink. Ingredients: 1 Tablespoon Raw Sugar 1 Tablespoon Sea Salt 2 Tablespoons Finely Chopped Dark Chocolate 2 Ounces Van Gogh Rich Dark Chocolate Vodka 2 Ounces Chilled Espresso 1 Teaspoon Orange Juice Orange Rind Twists for garnish 1. In a small plate, mix sugar, salt, and dark chocolate. 2. Wet the rim of a martini glass and dip in the sugar mixture. 3. In a cocktail shaker with ice, combine vodka, espresso, and orange juice. Shake vigorously. 4. Strain into prepared martini glass. Garnish with orange zest.
Ingredients: 4 oz Sparkling Wine or Champagne 1 oz X-Rated Fusion Liqueur Directions: Pour sparkling wine or Champagne in a champagne flute and top with liqueur.
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News & Stuff
Super Bowl Prices Will Be “Big Apple” Big This year you can buy one ticket on the cushy club level seats at MetLife Stadium for the Super Bowl or you and your significant could fly to Paris and spend the weekend in a nice hotel. About the same price.
Want A Really Big TV? Check Out The Sony 4K! I
So when you are trying to justify why it makes sense to shell out the big bucks it’s easy. It's the Superbowl and it's in New York City, right? That is exactly why the National Football League officials say that tickets to this particular game are worth big “Big Apple” prices. Comparing the two, club level seats in NYC with access to restaurants, $2,600 while club level seats in New Orleans last year, only $1,250. Why the price hike? Because there are more people with more money around New York City and the NFL can sell the tickets. That's the bottom line. Since about 50 million people live within 200 miles of MetLife Stadium (compared with 6 million in New Orleans) many people won't mind paying more because they're likely to save money on flights and hotels.
t has been more than four years since the end of analog TV. With your first HDTV, you probably reveled in the high definition at 720 pixels and a little later, at the 1070 pixels.
Participating teams distribute 35 percent of the seats. The league itself controls 25 percent of the seats, which it often shares with corporate sponsors and partners. So a large proportion of those attending have their seats paid for by someone else.
Sony's 4K will change their degree of satisfaction, but it probably won't happen for a while. The electronics industry is championing what it claims as the next be-all television. The 4K is so named because it boasts several times the picture resolution.
In all, the executives say the average price of 39 percent of the 77,500 seats will cost $1,000 or less. The lowest price seats will cost $500, compared with $600 previously.
It's a thin, elegant 65-inch backlit LED set, with a magnificent picture that has more than 8 million pixels, a vibrant color palate and two powerful 65 watt front facing speakers.
Research shows that many $600 tickets last year resold for $2,000 on the secondary market. Seats near midfield went for up to $6,100 and club seats changed hands for $6,400, all of which are multiples of their face values.
Getting customers to trade up isn't going to be easy. Right now, the set lists for $5,499.99. Over time, however, the price will be much lower.
For the New York Super Bowl, indoor suites with 30 seats each are already selling for $500,000 and up depending on the location.
Coming Soon For All Computers
Today, not only are prices way lower than they were then, but most HDTV viewers are perfectly satisfied with the picture quality.
Sony also offers an 84-inch model, the XBR 4K for $24,999. A 55-inch model will cost $3,499. The Consumer Electronics Association forecasts factory shipments of Ultra TVs will grow to 23,000 units in 2013. So, someone is buying them, even if it's not you…yet.
Your computers will soon do research for you, even when you don't ask. New voice recognition software will enable computers to listen to the conversations of humans and figure out the subject of conversation. Then the computers will find suitable internet references and files. Experts say this will vastly improve efficiency. It may even spawn a whole new world of Facebook memes based on common phrases like, "I hate the boss."
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Live Music Wednesdays
New Orleans Beau and the Big Easy informal jazz, blues and motown show
DECEMBER 11TH
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FIVE GUYS NAMED MOE
It’s always a great party when the Moes come to town
Righteous Hillbillies
Probably their only gig in the area this month - Don’t miss it!
REPLICA
Replica’s not covers! These guys play everything from AC/DC to ZZ Top
FIDDLEBEAN
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Aprils Reign
Female fronted Rock n Roll playing Janis Joplin to Lady Antebellum
Christmas Bash!! - Broken Ego w/ special guests First Brigade & Rico Huck
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What better way to get ready for New Years!
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How Ironic Two men waiting at the pearly gates strike up a conversation. "How'd you die?" the first man asks the second.
Faith is daring to put your dream to the test. It is better to try to do something and fail than to try to do nothing and succeed. Robert H. Schuller, American Pastor, and Author
"I froze to death," says the second. "That's awful. How does it feel to freeze to death?" says the first.
says the second.
"It's very uncomfortable at first, you get the shakes, and you get pains in all your fingers and toes. But eventually, it's a very calm way to go. You get numb and you kind of drift off, as if you're sleeping. How did you die?"
"I had a heart attack", says the first guy. "You see, I knew my wife was cheating on me, so one day I showed up at home unexpectedly. I ran up to the bedroom, and found her alone, knitting. I ran down to the basement, but no one was hiding there. I ran up to the second floor, but no one was hiding there either. I ran as fast as I could to the attic, and just as I got there, I had a massive heart attack and died." The second man shakes his head. "That's so ironic" he says. "What do you mean?" asks the first man. "If you had only stopped to look in the freezer, we'd both still be alive." FACEBOOK.COM/WHATSUPXTRAMAGAZINE
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The Barber
A guy sticks his head into a barber shop and asks "Hey, Buddy! How long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looked around the shop and says "about 2 hours," and the guy leaves. A few days later the same guy sticks his head in the door and asks, "How long before I can get a haircut?"
Again, the barber looks around at shop full of customers and says "about 2 hours." The guy leaves. A week later the same guy sticks his head in the shop and asks, "How long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looks around the shop and says "about an hour and a half". The guy leaves. The barber looks over at a friend in the shop and says "Hey, Joey, I'll give you a free cut if you follow that guy and see where he goes." In a little while, Joey comes back into the shop laughing hysterically. The barber says, "This must be good, where did he go when he left here?" Joey says, "To your house!"
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ASK THE WINO...
How to be more eco-friendly. WINO: Willie Kalb AGE: 56 LIKES: new pennies, soup and hide n’ seek. DISLIKES: toothaches, fruit flies and “the tickle monster”. SMELLS LIKE: an old flask filled with cat farts. Sal, a chef asks: If buses make so much smoke, why does everyone insist that using them as transportation is good for the air?
WINO: “I ain’t never ridin’ a bus again! You take a five-course dump in some old lady’s handbag and all the sudden, people look at you like you done killed somebody!”
Elise, a sales rep asks: Other than recycling, can you think of any practical ways I can reuse things that most people just throw out? WINO: “Ya’ll ever eat soup out of a busted light bulb? What can I say, I’m one who believes in using what most people throw out. Except for someone old drawers those I leave on the side of the road.
Jeff, a software designer asks: With so much of our resources tied up in the war on terror, how are we supposed to preserve the natural beauty of America?
WINO: “Tied up? I’ll tell you what’s tied up: my goddamn ass hairs, that’s what! Lord have mercy! It feels like I’m takin’ a crap through a tennis racquet!”
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MONDAY Kitchen Hours 11am to $1.75 Domestic Pints 8pm Monday to Saturday with daily food TUESDAY specials $2 U Call Its WEDNESDAY FREE FOOD $2.25 Domestic Bottles DURING ALL BEARS GAMES THURSDAY “Like” us on Facebook $12 Domestic Buckets 9247 S Cicero Ave Oak Lawn (708) 636-1555 FRIDAY $1.75 MGD & PBR Pints SATURDAY $3 Premium Pints & Bottles SUNDAY $4 Bloody Marys & $12 Domestic Buckets
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December 2013 Calendar November 29, 2013 - December 1, 2013 Game Convention Wolfcon is for players of board games, computer games, and role-playing games at the Irish American Heritage Center.
December 7 - 8, 2013 Swedish Bazaar Julmarknad is a Christmas bazaar of Scandinavian food and gift items plus traditional entertainment at the Swedish American Museum.
December 1, 2013 Motorcycle Parade - Free Bring a toy to donate (except a stuffed animal), then watch or join the Chicagoland Toys for Tots Motorcycle Parade at W 83rd St. and Western.
December 7 & 21, 2013 Handel’s Messiah It’s a holiday tradition to hear the joyful Handel’s Messiah sung by the Apollo Chorus of Chicago.
December 1, 2013 Toy Sale Browse new and vintage toys from 250 vendors at Tinley Park Annual Holiday Toy Show at Tinley Park High School.
December 8, 2013 Family Treasure Hunt Kids make four activity stops then have a tea party with entertainment and party favors at Treasure Hunt and Tea Party at the Art Institute.
December 1 - 24, 2013 (begins 11/26) Christmas Market - Free Christkindlmarket is an open-air European holiday market on Daley Plaza featuring traditional art, handmade gifts, German foods, choirs, carolers, and an opening ceremony.
December 11, 2013 Wine & Beer Tasting Holiday Cheers! is a seasonal tasting of local spirits, wines, and winter brews at Chicago Botanic Garden.
December 1 - 31, 2013 (dates below) Christmas Lights - Lincoln Park Zoo - Free ZooLights at the Lincoln Park Zoo features millions of holiday lights, ice carvings, music, carousel and train rides, food and gift shopping (plus photos with Santa through Dec. 23). Runs Nov. 29-30 and Dec. 1, 6-8, 13-23, 26-31 and Jan. 1-5. December 1 - 31, 2013 (dates below) Christmas Lights - Brookfield Zoo Holiday Magic is a million twinkling lights, a laser light show, a magic show, animal visits, and songs at the Brookfield Zoo. Runs Nov. 30 and Dec. 1, 7-8, 14-15, 21-22, 26-31. December 1 - 31, 2013 (11/30-1/5) Flower and Train Show - Free Model trains wind their way through a miniature village among Poinsettias during the Winter Flower & Train Show at Lincoln Park Conservatory. December 1 - 31, 2013 (11/14-1/5) Holidays of Light See trees decorated to represent many cultures plus weekend ethnic song-and-dance performances during Christmas Around the World and Holidays of Light at the Museum of Science & Industry. December 5, 2013 Holiday Music Student musicians & singers perform secular seasonal hits and jazz variations at Joyola! at Loyola University. December 5 - 8, 2013 One of a Kind Show and Sale has 600 juried artists selling handmade gifts at Merchandise Mart. December 6 - 8, 2013 Giant Gift Fair Holiday Lights Gift and Craft Fair offers 500 booths for holiday shoppers at Arlington International Racecourse. Cost. December 6 - 28, 2013 Nutcracker Ballet Joffrey Ballet’s production of The Nutcracker is a holiday tradition that features brilliant costumes, fanciful scenery, entrancing storytelling and Tchaikovsky’s famous score played by the Chicago Philharmonic at the Auditorium Theatre. Cost. December 6, 2013 - January 12, 2013 Winter WonderFest - Free Festival Hall at Navy Pier becomes an indoor Winter WonderFest for the holidays, with music, carnival rides, and entertainment. Expect crowds.
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December 14 - 15, 2013 Holiday Market Randolph Street’s Holiday Market offers a mix of affordable antique, vintage, and modern goods in an indoor market at W Randolph & Washington. December 14 - 15, 2013 Model Train Show LEGO Train Show & Party features a huge diorama of trains that run past skyscrapers, brick mania, and kids’ crafts in Wheaton. Free except parking. December 30, 2013 New Year’s Eve - A Day Early Enjoy an open bar, appetizers, live music, dancing, and a silent auction at the black-tie-optional charity benefit EVE of the EVE, Chicago Union Station. December 31, 2013 New Year’s Eve - Fireworks Welcome the new year with New Year’s Eve Fireworks at Navy Pier at midnight. Free. New Year’s Eve - Navy Pier Crystal Gardens New Year’s Eve Party has dancing to mainstream music, party favors, an open bar, hors d’oeuvres, champagne toast at midnight, and a terrace to watch the fireworks, at Navy Pier. New Year’s Eve - Drake Hotel NYE 2014 has 4 ballrooms with DJs, 45 bartenders, and a balloon drop at the Drake Hotel. New Year’s Eve - Palmer House NYE Soiree has 4 ballrooms with DJs, 80 bartenders, and a lavish buffet at Palmer House hotel. New Year’s Eve - Waldorf Astoria Enjoy a night of upscale fun and celebration at Entrepreneur’s Eve to benefit cancer research. New Year’s Eve - Hilton New Year’s Eve Gala 2014 plays top house, hip hop, dance, and top 40 in two ballrooms at Hilton Chicago. New Year’s Eve - Monster’s Ball New Year’s Eve Monster’s Ball is a costume party with drinks, appetizers, a zombie band, and a haunted house at Stage 773. New Year’s Eve - InterContinental New Year's Eve Rock ‘N’ Roll Ball features three music stages in three rooms (rock, party, and club) at the InterContinental Chicago O'Hare. WWW.WHATSUPXTRA.COM
UNDER NEW MANAGEMENT
Bada Brew hosts pool leagues Monday thru Thursdays. Starting Dec. 6th Bada Brew will be hosting pool tournaments!!! *Friday 8-Ball Tournaments at 7pm! $5 entry & pot matched! Handicap 5s AND UNDER!!! *Sunday 10-Ball or Bowliards Tournaments at 1pm! $5 entry & pot matched! All handicaps welcome! *Monday 9-Ball Tournaments at 6pm! $5 entry & pot matched! All handicaps welcome! Bada Brew Daily Specials:
802-804 Theodore St Crest Hill 815-726-3401 Facebook: www.facebook.com/BadaBrew Booking Information: Contact George 708-203-3809 / Sean 708-945-2282 / email: tsagaris@comcast.net
LIVE MUSIC EVERY FRIDAY & SATURDAY Kitchen Now Open EVERYDAY 11am-12am!
SIX DIAMOND POOL TABLES & Great Drink Specials, Pots Matched and Pool Lessons from Martin Sr. himself! COME JOIN THE FUN AND LET’S GET THE PARTY STARTED BEFORE THE NEW YEAR!!! Please contact Martin Zavala (630)853-5928 with pool tournament questions or sign up information.
Sunday Free Pool, $3 Bloody Mary, $2.50 Import Drafts Pints, $4 Call Mixers Monday Free Pool, $2 Corona, Dosxx, Modelo; $4 Patron, $4 Three Floyds, Monday Night Football, Bulls Games Free Halftime Large Pizza with party of 5 or more! Tuesday Free Pool, $2 Domestic Bottles, $4 Tequila you-call-its, $3 Absolute Mixed Drinks & $0.75 Chicken Fingers Wednesday Free Pool, $1 Domestic Bottles, $2 well mixed, $4 bombs & $1 Taco Thursday Free Pool, $2 Domestic bottles, $3 Any Jim Beam Shot, $2 Well Mixers & $3 Burgers (Karaoke w/DJ Kevin) Friday $3 Import Drafts, $4 bombs, $2.50 Becks & $3 Patty Melts Saturday $12 Domestic buckets , $4 Barcardi Mixers, $3 Witches Brew Shots & $7 Super Nachos
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The Hottest Place to party in the Joliet area is @ Bobby McGees! Bobby McGee's hosts the area's most energetic parties! So come one, come all and experience a true South Side Party Pub - at Bobby McGees at 1200 Cedarwood, Crest Hill 815-741-4318 FACEBOOK.COM/WHATSUPXTRAMAGAZINE
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$1.50 Dom Bottles, $3.00 Bloody Mary & Half Price Pizza - DJ $1.50 Domestic Bottles, $3 Call Shots, $3 Well Mixers $1.50 Domestic Bottles, $6 Mason Jars(well), Free Pool $1.50 Domestic Bottles, $5 Domestic Pitchers, $2.50 Imports $1.50 Domestic Bottles, $3 Rumpl, Black Haus & Jack Shots $5 Domestic Pitchers, $8 Craft Pitchers, $3 Bombs - DJ $12 Domestic Buckets, $15 Import Buckets, $4 Mixed - LIVE
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Happy Holidays & Happy New Year from your friends at X’s O’s Bridgeview
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DECEMBER HOROSCOPE ARIES: Your capable and sociable manner draws people to you. That's good, and it encourages cooperation at work. But don't let others' high opinion of you go to your head. TAURUS: Your financial dealings are taking on greater importance now, so make sure that you're giving them their due. Your mindset is perfect for thinking about the future. GEMINI: The full moon on December 17 could make you feel like doing something crazy, or at least pretty unusual for you. Think twice before plunging into it. CANCER: Celebrate Christmas in your own way. Make it a joyful time by avoiding a lot of extra work and preparations. Just show love and caring to everyone you meet. LEO: Check your to-do list for tasks and projects you can wind up before taking the holiday break. Decide what can be put on hold so you can celebrate without worry. VIRGO: A feeling of confidence is sweeping over you, and for good reason. You're finishing a year of good work and looking forward to a productive new year.
There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them. Bruce Lee martial artist and filmmaker
LIBRA: You're beginning to feel that you're in your element at work and that you'll soon be able to make a difference there. But don't try to control every situation. SCORPIO: A loved one has an issue on which you'd like to give advice. But sometimes the most supportive action is letting the person figure out what to do on his own. SAGITTARIUS: At holiday dinners or parties, there's bound to be someone who rubs you the wrong way. Walk away and have fun with your friends or family members. CAPRICORN: When your boss seems testy or distant, remember that there are problems and situations that you don't know about. So just keep doing your job well. AQUARIUS: The talents of others can make you look like a better leader, manager or cultivator of high performance people. Everybody wins. PISCES: People like your politeness and efficiency. They seek you out because their friends talk about how dependable, honest, and discreet you are.
Little Johnny
Little Johnny's teacher had a new game for the children. She would pick a word and have the children make a sentence out of it. She knew that she had to be careful because Little Johnny would try and turn this into something dirty, as he had done so many times before. She chose the word "fascinate". Knowing that Johnny could not possibly mess this one up, she called on him first. Johnny said, "My sister went to the mall and bought a blouse. It had 10 buttons up the front, but her boobs were so big she could only fasten eight." After all the kids had answered one, it was Johnny's turn again. This time the word was "urinate". The teacher was sure this one would stump Johnny. Johnny said, "You'rean-eight, but if you had bigger boobs you'd be a ten."
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Bartender: Rose Zante Lounge 10307 S Roberts Rd. Palos Hills Signature Drink: Jolly Green Giant
NOVEMBER BARTENDER OF THE MONTH IS...
Ingredients: Blue Curacao, Midori, Malibu Rum, Peach Schnapps, Pineapple Juice, Sprite Words of Wisdom: “Living the Vida Loco (Yolo).”
Bartender: Michelle Pete’s Krash 7112 S Harlem, Bridgeview Signature Drink: Chelle’s “Who’s a Soldier” Red, White & Blue All American Ingredients: UV Blue, Lemonade, Dr Mc Gillicuddy’s (Cherry), Topped w/ Moonshine Cherries Words of Wisdom: “Tear it up from the floor up.”
CONGRATULATIONS
Kady
Bartender: Shannon Bada Brew 802-804 Theodore St, Crest Hill Signature Drink: Snoop Dog Ingredients: Jeremiah weed, Midori, Red Bull Words of Wisdom: “When you stop doing things for fun, you might as well be dead.”
Pockets Billiards 13430 Cicero Ave Crestwood
Rules: All service employees are eligible to win. The service employee who receives the most votes in the month wins. You can submit your vote by texting (773) 288-9400 or go to facebook.com/whatsupxtramagazine “like” our page and vote under the bartender’s photo .
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Hard To Find A Good Marriage Counselor
A couple was having some trouble, so they did the right thing and went to a marriage counselor. After a few visits, and a lot of questioning and listening, counselor said that he had discovered the main problem. He stood up, went over to the woman, asked her to stand, and gave her a hug. He looked at the man and said, "This is what your wife needs, at least once a day!" The man frowned, thought for a moment, then said, "OK, what time do you want me to bring her back tomorrow?"
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The Lighter Side
Where's Harry? A group of friends who went deer hunting separated into pairs for the day. That night, one hunter returned alone, staggering under a huge buck.
Are You Smarter Than CHESTER “The Sock Monkey”?
"Where's Harry?" asked another hunter.
1. Until the mid-20th century what was used for tinsel on Christmas trees? a.) Strips of tin b.) Strips of gold c.) Strips of silver d.) Strips of aluminum
"He fainted a couple miles up the trail," his partner answered.
2. In which country did the tradition of the Christmas tree start? a.) China b.) Scotland c.) Denmark d.) Germany
Bill Gates Picks The Afterlife Bill Gates dies and meets St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter says, "I really can't figure out what to do with you, Gates. "On the one hand, unlike people, I am an eternal being and I remember Windows 3.0. "On the other hand, thanks to you, people have computers. "So, I have decided to let you choose heaven or hell all by yourself." So Gates first checks out heaven: Lots of harps and clouds and quiet. Then Gates checks out hell: People traveling on flying smartphones. Computers are fixing lavish dinners. Tablet computers are holding seminars. Fantastic! Gates chooses hell. St. Peter stamps his ticket and Satan opens the door to hell where there is nothing but weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth. Gates says to Satan, "What happened? It was perfect yesterday!" Satan shrugs and says: That was the demo.
4. During the 19th and early 20th centuries, the larger your Christmas tree the more status you had among your peers. True or False 5. What is the name of the company that made the first artificial Christmas tree? a.) Johnson & Johnson b.) Levi Strauss c.) Schelgerhoffen d.) Addis Brush Company 6. In 16th century Poland it was popular to hang your Christmas tree upside down from the ceiling. True or False 7. What was used to light up a Christmas tree before the advent of electric Christmas lights? a.) Glitter b.) Jewels c.) Candles d.) Gas lights 8. What was the name of America's 14th president, who brought the tradition of the Christmas tree to the White House? a.) James Buchanan b.) Martin Van Buren c.) Franklin Pierce d.) Abraham Lincoln 9. The giant Christmas tree seen at Rockefeller Center every year since 1931 is usually what kind of tree? a.) Douglas fir b.) Balsam fir c.) Scotch pine d.) Norway spruce 10. The Christmas carol "O Tannenbaum", in English "O Christmas Tree", was written by what German composer? a.) Wolfgang Mozart b.) Nicolo Paganini c.) Frederic Chopin d.) Ernst Anschustz
Answers True Candles Franklin Pierce Norway Spruce Ernst Anschustz
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Silver Germany Queen Victoria True Addis Brush Compnay
"It was a tough decision," said the hunter. "But I figured no one was going to steal Harry!"
3. What monarch was directly responsible for the English-speaking world adopting the Christmas tree as a traditional part of the Christmas celebration? a.) King Edward II b.) Queen Elizabeth I c.) Queen Victoria d.) King George III
1. 2. 3. 4. 5.
"You mean you left him lying there alone and you carried the deer back?"
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Six Ways To Serve Others At Christmas Time * Decorate a Christmas tree with a family in need and help put some things under the tree that you can afford. * Take a parent or guardian and their children out shopping. Buy each of them a gift, whatever fits their needs and your means. Show kindness and caring and the children will feel comfortable and happy with you. * If you aren't spending Christmas with your family, you could help to serve at a free Christmas Day dinner hosted by a church or organization. You'll find that filling plates with holiday food can be a joyful experience for you as well as the recipients. * Call the Salvation Army or other non-profit organizations in your area. Many need extra help during the Christmas season and can gladly find something worthwhile for you to do. * Volunteer at a hospital or senior center. Many individuals don't have a family and would love to have someone to talk to on Christmas. Visiting can brighten the lives of others and even start friendships. * Find a food shelter and help distribute food or clean up after dinner is served. Shelters rely on volunteers, and regular volunteers may not work during Christmas. Giving a small amount at Christmas can often be a gift that continues giving back to you all year long!
In 2014, Mandatory Tipping Will Be Gone
Operation Santa Paws… December 1-21
During the holiday season extra help is needed for abused and abandoned animals in local animal shelters. One grassroots organization, Operation Santa Paws, is helping by spreading the word about a canine/feline toy or treat drive to benefit less fortunate pets this season. Animal lovers are encouraged to purchase a new dog or cat toy and food or treats that will be delivered in time for Christmas to a local shelter and rescue organization. Think about a sad puppy who knows nobody loves him, a beautiful cat that has lost her family for some reason, or a mature dog that had a loving family until they had to move and could no longer care for him. On Christmas, a toy or a food treat will make them joyful for the day, and you will feel joyful for helping make it possible.
Can you help by friend?
For many years, restaurants have tacked a mandatory gratuity onto the bill of any large party, generally ranging from 15 to 18 percent. Some restaurants even add gratuity to every bill. But a recent IRS ruling will probably bring the long time practice to an end. The ruling that takes effect in 2014 classifies automatic gratuities as wages rather than tips, therefore requiring restaurants to pay payroll taxes on any mandatory gratuity. The ruling pretty much guarantees that most restaurants will bring this practice to an end. This ruling makes it more risky for servers gambling with whether a table of 10 likes the service provided and is willing to tip responsibly, according to Kiplinger's Personal Finance. As a result of these changes, diners are more likely to see suggested tips on menus and bills ranging from 15 to 20 percent. Cruise ship tipping is still in question, but it might apply only to ships registered in the United States. Cruise ships apply a daily gratuity to all travelers' accounts. FACEBOOK.COM/WHATSUPXTRAMAGAZINE
I’m reaching out on behalf of a friend of mine who needs some help, who wishes to remain anonymous. His wife told him to go out and get some of those pills that would help him with his manhood. When he came back, he handed her diet pills. Anyway, he’s looking for a place to live. 773.213.4597
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Two Drinking Buddies Tue Fri Thur Sun - Sat 1 1-9 - C -10 lose d
Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says, "You know, I don't know what else to do, whenever I go home after we've been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage. I take my shoes off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs, I get undressed in the bathroom. I ease into bed and my wife still wakes up and yells at me for staying out so late!"
10347 Southwest Highway Chicago Ridge, IL. (corner of SW Hwy & Oak Park Ave.)
His buddy looks at him and says, "Well, you're obviously taking the wrong approach. I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, throw my shoes into the closet, jump into bed, slap her on the ass, grab her boobs and say, ‘Hey baby, you as horny as I am?' and she always acts like she's asleep!"
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live music
NoJo Band In a world where it seems that every cover band calls themselves “Chicago’s Premier Party Band”, it’s a refreshing change to see a hard working group of musicians refer to themselves as simply “Good Music, Good Times”. Such is the case with Joliet based “NoJo Band”, a horn driven ensemble performing everything from classic rock and pop to blues and jazz. The life of the band was set in motion when keyboardist Joe Irizany departed from the group Contraband, leaving Guitarist/Vocalist Larry Juricic and Bassist/Vocalist Kharis Washington with no band but requests for gigs that needed to be filled. Continuing as a three piece with the addition of drummer John Zver, the trio adopted the name “NoJo” since without keyboardist Irizany there was no Joe (NoJo). Incredibly, NoJo just celebrated their fifteenth year of existence last month with a celebration at Heroes West in Joliet. Member Henry Nicola (Vocals/Trombone) sums it up this way, “I think what has caused us to endure is our love of music. We respect one another (and) it’s cool to play with good players, it lifts you.” Indeed, along with Henry the NoJo roster is jam-packed with top shelf musicians with years of playing and touring experience under their collective belts. Rounding out the band is Joel Moore (Sax), Nick Mizock (Vocals/Guitar), Kharis Washington (Vocals/Bass), Matt Oleshko (Keys) and Bob Militello (Drums). Despite numerous personnel changes over the years, the band has forged ahead, performing throughout the Chicagoland area including the Shorewood Crossroads Festival, The Three Rivers Festival in Channahon, the Frankfort Fall Festival and the Taste of Joliet. Not many local bands can boast of the longevity that NoJo has experienced. When asked what advice he can pass on to younger bands just starting out, Nicola had this to say, “Create an identity, play the right songs and sell yourself.” Looking ahead to 2014, NoJo hopes to perform at more outdoor shows and will continue to add new songs in order to keep the show fresh for their scores of followers. You can find NoJo online at www.nojoband.net. Be sure to catch them live at the Fireside Lounge inside the Brunswick Zone XL located at 735 North Center Boulevard in Romeoville (near the I-55/ Weber road interchange) on December 13th starting at 9PM. The Fireside is an outstanding live music venue/bar so if you have never caught NoJo live or been to the Fireside, this is an excellent opportunity to experience something new. To have your band featured or CD reviewed, contact Joliet Dave at www.facebook.com/jolietdaveofficial.
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TA L E S F R O M T H E C H R I S
Hope is a Wild Card By Rob Christiansen
The angels made me a garden variety pianist in the Garden of Eden section of heaven. Everyone said the angels ran my afterlife and I was an angels’ boy. That was a joke. No one knew I had once tangled with police and been arrested.
Sections were invented by a resident of my section (Garden of Eden pride!) who had once found his car only because he remembered he’d parked it on the Joe Paterno level. I was sent down from heaven to secure an expungement and I wasn’t told how to get back. Section awareness wouldn’t help me now. Lesson learned: Disclose your criminal past on your heaven application. Luckily, I met Grace, in Illinois. We hiked Starved Rock’s colorful cliffs and she bought a dream catcher in the gift shop. An inclination and a voice within me encouraged her to take up piano. “I’m putting that dream in the bag,” she said, and she pantomimed doing so. She was playing piano at Redhead in Chicago when I hinted at my plight by requesting “Friends in Low Places.” On her break, I asked her if she would speak to the judge at my expungement hearing at 26th and California on Nov. 1 of this year. (It took forever to get a court date.) “Yes,” she replied. “I’ll silence the prosecutor. Two beers, please,” she instructed a bartender. “You’re an angel, Grace,” I said. “You must know; I had an affair with my expungement attorney that ended long before I ever imagined I would have to retain her. Kim broke us up.” Grace knew only that I married Kim and we had twins. “I protect them, Grace,” I said, softening the blow. “Cheers.” Outside Redhead, on Ontario, west of State Street, the atmosphere was pristine. It was now 4:05 a.m. “So, what did you supposedly do?” she asked. She had a long, horse face with character. Much of her hair was bunched behind her head, exposing her swan neck. She wore a coat over her long dress. Our cab pulled to the curb. “Domestic, reduced to simple battery, Grace,” I whispered. We tucked ourselves into the back seat. I spoke aloud to the driver before turning to my companion. “I was on my front stoop at dusk with a lamp,” I said quietly, “waiting to show my boarders the damage their German shepherd did to the garden that day. The association had fined me a dollar. “Hope opened the gate and entered the yard. I stood, without the lamp. Emil entered, trailing Otto, who wasn’t on a leash. I requested a meeting at the garden. Hope rudely said she wasn’t interested in attending a meeting. She proceeded up the steps. I used my arm to impede her path. “Emil saw Hope bounce off my arm and fall in the bushes to which we stood immediately adjacent. She wore her John
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Rissman & Son Windbreaker jacket. She wasn’t even scratched. “I was already considering having the young couple evicted because Emil was behind in rent. “Emil called the cops. He told them I picked up his wife and threw her in the bushes. Hope concurred and Emil shouted gleefully at me, ‘You’re goin’ tuh jail!’ I was horrified out of my mind, Grace, waiting for the cops to arrive.” Our driver took Michigan Ave. towards Wacker Dr. in a ghost town. The lights and sights were reminiscent of heaven. Grace noticed the resemblance and laughed. She reached back and removed her barrettes. She shook her head and loosened her hair. It was as long as a ladder she could have climbed on down to Earth if she hadn’t soared here on a stork, as I had done. Grace came to my apartment for a bed. She stayed for the piano and cottoned to Otto. He lies by the fire and listens to her play while I’m at work. I’ve been a sandwich artist. Grace plays in bars at night while Otto and I are home listening to ESPN 1000 or watching “Two and a Half Men,” my guilty pleasure. Hope, in the couple’s desperate last minute, asked me to keep Otto. He’s been a best friend. Hope and Emil hadn’t followed simple rules. They had let Otto roam freely about the yard—an oft-repeated violation for which the association would always fine me a quarter. Improbably, Hope stands right outside Expungement Hearing Room 101 on Nov. 1. I’m awash with a bad feeling even though my attorney won’t allow her to testify. Grace and I approach Hope. Rather than await introductions from me, Hope says, “Otto loves your piano playing, Grace.” Among Hope’s accurate guesses is her mention of Grace’s name. I hadn’t seen Hope since she and Emil were evicted. Dispassionately, I had witnessed their horror. Emil, shoved out by the sheriff, promised to kill me. “Please take care of Otto!” Hope cried. Otto stood by me. A deputy pushed Hope over my threshold. My attorney arrives last. She doesn’t strike Hope. Grace leaves the prosecutor speechless, but Hope has the last word. Hope stands before the judge and says, “He loves dogs, your Honor.” Grace was an easy angel. Hope was a wild card. My expungement attorney was no angel, but she served poetic justice by getting me off in a legal sense. Respectfully, she declines my lunch invitation. Grace, Hope and I ride the 60 bus to the 21 bus to Chinatown. (I had used CTA Trip Planner.) Hope suggests we eat at Three Happiness. I’m at home flanked by these two as we walk along Cermak Rd. It’s like I’m back in heaven. “I play piano,” Hope says after we had settled in, as though she just now thought to tell us. I feel her pain. Years ago, I had inadvertently knocked her into bushes. “You always liked to sit at my piano,” I reply over an egg roll as Grace looks on. WWW.WHATSUPXTRA.COM
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Little Frank’s FREE BUFFET EVERYDAY 4PM TO 6PM $1 Busch, Busch Light & Old Style Pizzeria Monday: OR NF OPE NCH LU
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Business and Leadership Development
SET YOUR OWN HOURS, MUST HAVE COMPUTER AND ENTREPRENEUR MINDSET Benefits:
• Set your own days and hours to build your business • Positive Team Environment and Culture • Lifestyle enhancement product that helps peak experiences and memories • Ongoing Support • Commissions based on sales/efforts/results/etc. We are looking to team up with people looking to make a difference. Must be passionate about helping people and has a burning desire to succeed. Call 773-213-4597 or email: romackk@yahoo.com 32 WHATS UP XTRA
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