What's Up Xtra Southwest June 2013

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Whats Up JUNE 2013

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Where are you going tonight? PAGE 19

JAYME BULL PEN Shorewood

FACEBOOK.COM/WASSUPXTRAMAGAZINE

MORE PHOTOS ASK THE WINO MORE JOKES JUNE EVENTS 773.213.4597

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B Ou eer td G Li oor ard Vi ve M Ga en an deo usi mes d M Slo c or ts e!

y’s ts a esd Nighm u T se s i to 9pRide u Cr m ttest ore! 6p Ho M & e Th Food

Davern’s Outdoor Fest Rocking For Our Local Veterans!

Portion of all proceeds go to our local veterans in need

Friday June 14th $5 Donation Featuring: August Burns Starts at 7pm

Saturday June 15th

$10 Donation Featuring: Her Worst Nightmare TNT Chicago (ACDC) Judas Beast (Iron Maiden) Lovedrive (Scorpions) Jailbreak (Thin Lizzy) Sin after Sin (Judas Priest) Starts at 3pm to 11pm

Sunday June 16th $5 Donation Featuring: Plead The 5th Whiskey & Harmony Rockstar Social Club Starts at 2 pm

8527 W 79th Street, Justice, IL. (708) 924-6003 D av er n s tav er n . c o m & fa c eb o ok . c o m / d av er n s tav er n 2

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live GAMING HERE open to close 507 THEODORE ST JOLIET 815-727-4999 Hours: Monday - Thursday 6am - 2am Friday & Saturday 6am - 3am Sunday 10am - 2am

4TH OF JULY

FATHER’S DAY SUNDAY JUNE 16

BAGS FREE POOL TOURNAMENT $2 DOMESTIC CANS & $4 BLOODY MARYS 3PM

AY D R

TU A S 10 & Y OR $ TIC NS A ID 5 F ES CA R F M & DO TS KE C BU

WATCH EM HERE ON 8 TV’S

NBA PLAYOFFS MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL

BLACKHAWKS FACEBOOK.COM/WASSUPXTRAMAGAZINE

TOUCH TUNES PHOTO JUKEBOX AVAILABLE NOW saturdays DJ 9PM - 2AM

SUN: MON: TUE: WED: THUR:

$4 BLOODY MARYS & $2 DOMESTIC CANS $1.50 DOMESTIC DRAFTS $2 DOMESTIC BOTTLES & CANS $2.50 Pints PBR, BUD, BUD LIGHT $2.50 IMPORT BOTTLES & CANS $2.50 Pints MILLER LITE & COORS LIGHT $5.50 DOMESTIC PITCHERS

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Are you currently looking for a part-time opportunity? What’s Up Xtra Magazine is looking for Sales Associates, Photographers, and Writers to join our dynamic team. Qualified candidates must be outgoing, professional and enjoy meeting new people. If you are interested in hearing more about these opportunities, please contact us at 773-288-9400 or email us at whatsupxtra.com. Serious inquiries only please.

TABLE OF HELP CONTENTS WANTED NO EXPERIENCE NECESSARY PART TIME AND FULL TIME EXTRA INCOME

6 OUT AND ABOUT PHOTOS

CALL FOR DETAILS 773.213.4597

10 OUT AND ABOUT PHOTOS

8 news of interest

11 Cocktails of the month 12 ASK THE WINO

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To advertise in

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JUNE 2012 BEER GARDENS WHAT’S UP THIS MONTH

FACEBOOK.COM/WASSUPXTRAMAGAZINE

Magazine Online Facebook WX Call 773-213-4597 FREE

B O T M

JACKY

OUTPUT LOUNGE 773.288-9400

keith romack publisher

Lisa romack Sales Director Robert Christiansen Column Writer

14 word find 16 OUT AND ABOUT PHOTOS 17 Sudoku and crossword puzzle

jon obert editor

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18 lala’s love letters 19 bartender of the month 20 - 22 bar directory

Check us out online - Read the magazine, Photos & More... www.whatsupxtra.com

Front page photo taken at Junior’s in Berwyn by Lisa Romack The name What’s Up Xtra Magazine is a registered trade name, and use of this name is strictly prohibited. The contents of this publication are copyrighted What’s Up Xtra Chicago Magazine -2012 We encourage our readers to write their stories, send photos, and make comments. All submissions sent to us by phone, email, fax, or handwritten become the property of What’s Up Xtra Chicago Magazine.

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23 are you smarter than chester

ted phillips photographer Lance nielson photographer

24 may events 26 riddle of the month 29 fight card xtra

lauren strec contributing writer

30 OUT AND ABOUT PHOTOS CHECK OUT

Whats UP Xtra Magazine CHICAGO / SOUTHWEST EDITIONS

GO TO FACEBOOK TO SEE & TAG YOUR PHOTOS

We are always on the lookout for dynamic writers, photographers and sales staff to contribute to our publication If you are interested in joining our team or interested in advertising opportunities contact us at 773-288-9400 or email: whatsupxtra@yahoo.com

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Friday & Saturday $5 Premium Margarita’s BLACKHAWK GAME DAY SPECIALS

BEER GARDEN NOW OPEN

Wear your Blackhawks Shirt or Jersey for a $1 Draft or $2 Domestic Bottle

BOCCE BALL & BAGS TOURNAMENTS EVERY WEEKEND

4201 W. 55TH ST

CHICAGO

Fishing License

A couple of young boys were fishing at their special pond off the beaten track. All of a sudden, the Game Warden jumped out of the bushes. Immediately, one of the boys threw his rod down and started running through the woods like a bat out of hell. The Game Warden was hot on his heels. After about a half mile, the young man stopped and stooped over with his hands on his thighs to catch his breath, so the Game Warden finally caught up to him. "Let's see yer fishin' license, Boy!" the Warden gasped. With that, the boy pulled out his wallet and gave the Game Warden a valid fishing license. "Well, son," said the Game Warden, "you must be about as dumb as a box of rocks! You don't have to run from me if you have a valid license!" "Yes, sir," replied the young guy, "but my friend back there, well, he don't have one." FACEBOOK.COM/WASSUPXTRAMAGAZINE

Monday $5 Pizza & $1 DDrafts

Tuesday

$2.50 Imports

Wednesday

1-2-3 Night 1-2$1 Drafts

$2 Domestic Bottles $3 Well Drinks Thursday $12 Buckets

773.582.8839

Now is the time. Needs are great. But your possibilities are greater. Bill Blackman President of Hearts& Mind End Poverty Campaign

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THE LIGHTER SIDE

Start At The Very Beginning ... When the new patient was settled comfortably on the couch, the psychiatrist began his therapy session. "I'm not aware of your problem," the doctor said. "So perhaps, you should start at the very beginning." "Of course," replied the patient. "In the beginning, I created the heavens and the earth..."

Man On A Desert Island

A man of many vices, stranded on a desert island for over 10 years, sees a speck on the horizon. "It's not a ship," he thinks to himself and as it gets closer, he sees it's not a small boat or a raft.

6301 W. 73RD ST. BEDFORD PARK 708.728.6500

NE

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GO TO BUZZ BOMB CENTRAL WEB &

Suddenly, emerging from the surf comes a beautiful woman in a wet suit and scuba gear. She asks how long it's been since he had a cigarette, and he says, "Ten years." She opens a waterproof pocket on her left sleeve and pulls out a pack. He lights one up and says, "Great!"

FOR EVENTS

"And how long has it been since you've had a sip of good whiskey?" she asks. Trembling, he says it has been 10 years. She unzips her right sleeve and pulls out a ask. He takes a long swig and says, "Absolutely fantastic!" At this point she starts to unzip the front of her wet suit, and asks, "How long has it been since you've played around?" With tears in his eyes, the man falls to his knees and sobs, "Oh, heavens! Don't tell me you've got golf clubs in there too."

14650 Waverly Midlothian (708) 629-0685

Redneck Buys A Chainsaw A red neck walks into a hardware store and asks for a chain saw that will cut 6 trees in one hour. The salesman recommends the top of the line model. The red neck is suitably impressed, and buys it. The next day he brings it back and says, "This chainsaw is defective. It would only cut down 1 tree and it took ALL DAMN DAY!" The salesman takes the chain saw, starts it up to see what's wrong, and the red neck asks, "What's that noise?

HELP WANTED NO EXPERIENCE NECESSARY PART TIME AND FULL TIME EXTRA INCOME CALL FOR DETAILS 773.213.4597 FACEBOOK.COM/WASSUPXTRAMAGAZINE

Sun:

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Mon:

$3.50 mixed drinks (excludes top shelf)

Tue:

$2.00 Domestic Bottles

Wed:

$10.00 Domestic Buckets $3.50 CD Vodka Drinks

Thu:

$3.00 Import bottles

Fri:

$2.00 Domestic Bottles + $3.50 CD Vodka Drinks

KITCHEN OPEN 11AM TO LAST CALL

Every Day with daily food specials Beer Garden, Pool, Darts, Bags and Video Gaming ** Karaoke every other Friday ** Live bands every other Saturday 773.213.4597

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News & Stuff The President's White House Photographer Tells How to Take a Picture

It's The Year Of The Cicada!

In its "How-To" issue, Bloomberg Businessweek surveyed 46 experts for advice on such subjects as how to eat crow (a recipe), walk like a zombie, talk to a dictator, lie, and how to live on snacks. After shuffling through all the tips, the advice of Pete Souza, official White House Photographer for President Obama, on how to take a picture might be the most helpful for budding photographers. His few easy suggestions may just turn you from an amateur to a savvy pro. * If there's clutter in the background step to the right or left until it's not in the picture. Take pictures from a higher or lower level so they look different. * Candids are more memorable than posed pictures. Watch and wait for an opportunity. * Get in close. Photos are more interesting when the subject, be it man, woman or cat, fills a good part of the frame. * Early morning and late afternoon light is best for taking pictures. Rain, snow or fog can lead to memorable shots. In sunlight, use your flash to fill in shadows and add a twinkle of light to the subject's eyes. * The most important tip: have fresh batteries with you at all times. If your camera is out of juice or the memory card is full, you've missed the moment. * Keep your iPhone handy. He uses his to take shots on Air Force One and to grab shots of Bo. So grab your camera, get out there, and catch your next money shot!

15-Minute Refresher Nap with Coffee?

If you need a quick recharge during your busy day,try this unusual method recommended by caring.com, the caffeine nap. Set the stage for your nap by darkening the room and finding a comfortable place to lay down. Make sure to set the alarm clock if time is crucial.

Then, drink a cup of coffee. Seriously. After approximately15 or 20 minutes the coffee will help you wake up refreshed. Disclaimer: Don’t try this while operating a motor vehicle.

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Entomologists say there's a big brood of 17-year cicadas which have been biding their time under ground. According to these experts, the cicadas will emerge along the East Coast and pop up as far north as New York City. The harmless, but loud insects will surface all the way from the Carolinas to the Hudson Valley of New York. The insects will emerge in the South in April and May and in the cooler Northern states during late May and June.

Gun Owners Invest in Self-Defense Insurance All around America, gun shops have seen a substantial increase in sales. People who never wanted a gun in the past have opted to purchase one before the new gun rules took effect.

Although, the questions on many of these new gun owners minds is whether their homeowners' insurance will cover them if they were to shoot in self-defense. Generally, it won't. Most standard home and auto policies contain a liability clause that excludes coverage for injuries or damage caused by an intentional act such as firing a gun, even in selfdefense. A few policies, however, have an exception for "selfdefense" or "reasonable force." It covers "bodily injury resulting from the use of reasonable force by an insured to protect person's life or property." But the exception is rare. National Rifle Association coverage, underwritten by Lloyd's of London, offers two options. For $165 per year, a member receives $100,000 in combined liability coverage for civil defense costs plus criminal defense reimbursement, if acquitted. For $254 annually, the combined coverage jumps to $250,000. Self-Defense Shield protection offers three benefit levels beginning at $127 and up. Insurers say the coverage is inexpensive because those who buy it aren't the kinds of people who typically have homeowners insurance. CHECK OUT OUR NEW WEBSITE @ WWW.WHATSUPXTRA.COM


Live bands every Fri and Sat no cover Sat June

2357 Plainfield Crest Hill 815-725-2252

KARAOKE AND FREE POOL EVERY WEDNESDAY

DAILY SPECIALS

Sun: $3 Bloody Marys, $5 Domestic Pitchers and .50 Cent Wings Mon: $1 Domestic Drafts and .50 Cent Wings Tue: $3 Captains drinks Wed: $2 Long Islands, Half Price Appetizers Thu: $3 Jack Daniels and $3 Bombs Fri: $5 Domestic Pitchers and $3 Rum Chata Shots Sat: $4 Patron Shots and $3 UV Drinks Sunday thru Thursday $10.00 domestic buckets (5 bottles) FACEBOOK.COM/WASSUPXTRAMAGAZINE

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Shindig Tribute to the 60’s

Harvest Moon

Fri June

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Sat June

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The Righteous Hillbillies

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Billy Osman Band

Sat June

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New Orleans Beau and the Big Easy

Fri June

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Five Guys Named Moe

Sat June

22

Last Envy

Fri June

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Chasing Amy

Female fronted classic rock!

Sat June

29

TBA

Fri June

773.213.4597

“It’s like a party in your ears”

Rock, Southern Rock

Classic Rock N Blues

Jazz, Blues, Motown, & Pop

sing, dance and party with.

Not your usual rock covers

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JUNE

DRINK - MARTINI - SHOT by Lisa Romack

Raspberry Mojito

Ingredients

Sangria Ingredients ½ oz orange vodka ½ oz Grand Marnier 4 oz red wine Splash simple syrup Splash pineapple, orange and cranberry juice Lemon-lime soda Garnish: skewer of lime, orange, pineapple and a maraschino cherry

Directions

Fill a 12-ounce glass with ice. Pour in orange vodka, Grand Marnier and red wine. Add a splash of simple syrup, followed by pineapple juice, orange juice and cranberry juice. Shake, thenjJust before serving, add a splash of lemonlime soda and garnish with a maraschino cherry and a skewer of lime, orange and pineapple. FACEBOOK.COM/WASSUPXTRAMAGAZINE

Raspberry Infused Simple Syrup: 1 cup sugar 1 cup water 2 cups raspberries Raspberry Mojito 2 lime slices, cut into wheel shape 1 sprig fresh mint 2 oz white rum ½ oz raspberry liqueur Ice cubes, as needed Raspberry, for garnish

Directions

To make the simple syrup: In a saucepan combine the sugar and water and cook over medium heat until the sugar dissolves. Remove from the saucepan from the heat and add in the raspberries. Allow the mixture to steep for at least one day. The simple syrup will keep up to 2 weeks in the refrigerator. To make the raspberry mojito: In a cocktail shaker, muddle or crush the lime and mint leaves. Add in ½ oz raspberry simple syrup, white rum and raspberry liqueur. Add ice, cover, shake, and then served 773.213.4597

Sex On The Beach Ingredients 1 oz melon liqueur 1 oz peach schnapps 1 oz vodka Orange juice Pineapple Splash cranberry juice Maraschino cherry Directions Fill chimney glass with ice and add melon liqueur, peach schnapps and vodka. Add equal parts pineapple and orange juice almost to top. Add a splash of cranberry. Garnish with a maraschino cherry. rocks glass. Garnish with a raspberry.

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facebook funnies

Ask The Wino...

Name: Jerry Burnstein Smells Like: Chicken Wings Likes: Dancing naked with the windows open Dislikes: Tofu and yoga

Shelton the student asks: I just found out my college roommate is gay and I feel a little weird sharing a room with him. You ever worry about any of those guys you warm up to on cold nights? Wino: Shelton what in carnation are you trying to say to me you little pecker head?! If you want to experiment with your buddy don’t go trying to poke around in my business. I don’t give a sh*t how cold it is, some dude comes rubbing up on me at night my ass is puckering up tighter that a camel’s butt in a sandstorm!

Sabrina the psychic asks: Every time I read your column I get a special feeling about your aurora that makes me feel like you soul is touched by warmth and light. I would like for you to come in and see me so we can discuss this special place further.

I wasn’t planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere!

Wino: Lady you sound to me like you are nuttier than a squirrel turd. But if you really want, I’ll come in and see you and I will show you a real warm special place and after about an hour of me spanking your behind aint no doubt in my mind we will both be seeing the light.

Jack the mechanic asks: I don’t suppose you have any advice for the Chicago Bears and their fans this season?

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Wino: Another week, another boatload of bullsh*t. Let me ask you a question Jack. You're trapped in a room with an angry grizzly bear, a hungry Lion, and a fan of the Chicago Bears. You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do? I vote for animal rights.

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MONDAY Kitchen Hours 11am to $1.75 Domestic Pints 8pm Monday to Saturday with daily food TUESDAY specials $2 U Call Its WEDNESDAY $2.25 Domestic Bottles THURSDAY “Like” us on Facebook $12 Domestic Buckets 9247 S Cicero Ave Oak Lawn (708) 636-1555 FRIDAY $1.75 MGD & PBR Pints SATURDAY $3 Premium Pints & Bottles SUNDAY $4 Bloody Marys & $12 Domestic Buckets

Video Gaming Open @ 7am

WATCH YOUR CUBS, SOX and BLACKHAWKS ON

OUR 10 FLAT SCREEN TV’S

VIDEO GAMING COMING IN JUNE 6950 W. 95TH ST (FRONTAGE RD) FACEBOOK.COM/WASSUPXTRAMAGAZINE

MON:

$2 DOMESTIC BOTTLES

TUE:

$12.50 IMPORT & PREMIUM BUCKETS + $10 DOMESTIC BUCKETS

WED:

$1 DOMESTIC DRAFTS (12OZ) $3 IMPORT & PREMIUM PINTS

THU:

$10 DOMESTIC BUCKETS

FRI:

$2.50 DOMESTIC BOTTLES & $3 BOMBS

SAT:

$3 IMPORT PINTS & BOTTLES

SUN:

$4 BLOODY MARYS & $2.50 DOMESTIC BOTTLES

OAK LAWN

708-430-1298

773.213.4597

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VISITING THE DENTIST

Anyone who stops learning is old, whether at twenty or eighty. Anyone who keeps learning stays young. The greatest thing in life is to keep your mind young. Henry Ford, early 20th century industrialist

My friend thinks he’s smart, he said onions are the only food that make you cry. So I threw a coconut at his face. ABSCESS AMALGAM APEX BLEACHING BONDING BRACES BRIDGE CALCULUS CAP CARIES

CAVITY CROWN CUSP DECAY ENAMEL EROSION FILLING FLOSS IMPLANT

INCISORS MAXILLA MOLAR NOVOCAINE ORTHODONTIST RETAINER SEALANT TOOTHPASTE XRAY

Strength and courage aren't always measured in medals and victories. They are measured in the struggles we overcome. The strongest people aren't always the people who win, they are the people who don't give up when they lose. From "As a Man Thinketh."

Playing Golf A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eys, and bows down in prayer. His friend says, “Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.” The man then replies, “Yeah, well we were married 35 years.”

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SERVING FOOD TUESDAY NIGHT MOVIE NIGHT 8PM $3 CRAFT BEER FROM THE CRAFT COOLER DAILY SPECIALS MON: CRAFT, IMPORT (BOTTLES OR TAP) AND PREMIUM OR CALL SHOTS $6 TUE: MOVIE NIGHT (SEE ABOVE) WED: DOMESTIC BOTTLES & CALL SHOTS $5 THU: DOMESTIC PINTS $1.50 IMPORT PINTS $3.50 FRI: $3 CIDERS & $5 CALL MARTINIS SAT: WELL DRINKS $2 BOTTLES OF WINE $15 SUN: DOMESTIC BUCKETS 5 FOR $12

3144 S. Oak Park Ave Berwyn facebook: OFF THE TRAXX 708-637-4430

COME CHECK OUT OUR OUTDOOR CAFE

JUNE HOROSCOPE ARIES: You can rely on intuition to handle a situation with your workers. Don't come across as rigid or inflexible or they'll think you're just making it all hard work.

LIBRA: Ah, lucky Libra, the stars shine brightly on you this month. But remember, to be lucky in love and in your job, you'll also have to add some effort of your own.

TAURUS: Getting along with teammates and working for a cause brings harmony and provides a higher sense of purpose. Finding meaning in your job is always important.

SCORPIO: Don't assume you can speak out of turn without it backfiring. You could get a name for being indiscreet, especially if the information is highly-sensitive.

GEMINI: You sparkle and your eyes twinkle because you've got something magic up your sleeve. Everyone knows it and wishes they could be an insider and have a taste. CANCER: Be careful what you say because others take your words at face value. Avoid embellishing the facts with your own information, which isn't necessarily factual. LEO: Father's Day is the big event of June. Be sure to visit your dad, send a card or call. You might also remember someone who has been a father figure during your lifetime. VIRGO: Summer is upon us and you're suddenly energized to get healthy and shed some pounds. It's a good idea in any month, especially before buying a swim suit. FACEBOOK.COM/WASSUPXTRAMAGAZINE

773.213.4597

SAGITTARIUS: The song says, "Summertime and the livin' is easy," though it's not always that way. You can still arrange opportunities to get outside, relax and have fun. CAPRICORN: Your future looks bright, but it's a competitive world out there and you might not achieve your goal this time. But it's coming, so keep on keeping on. AQUARIUS: It's vacation time and you deserve some time off. Plan a break that's not stressful or unaffordable. Sometimes vacationing at home is the best treat of all. PISCES: A few issues are pending that might be worrisome, but you should have favorable outcomes through the end of the year. Opportunities will be knocking at your door, so watch for them.

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MARLINS 7236 39TH St. Lyons

BEER GARDEN OPEN

SUN MON TUE WED FRI SAT

708.442.2645

MILLER BUCKETS 5 for $12 .25 CENT WINGS ALL DAY $3 CORONA $3 IMPORT DRAFT PINTS LIVE MUSIC! NO COVER! $3 MILLER BOTTLES $1.75 MILLER BOTTLES TECHNOLOGY

The BlackBerry Reinvented New App Player Runs On In recent years, Research in Motion has seen its once dominant position in the smartphone market decline. Now, it thinks its new Z10 smartphone and its BB10 operating system can change that. In fact, it has changed its corporate name from RIM to BlackBerry. The OS isn't an upgrade, it's a clean break that is so different it will take longtime BlackBerry users a few minutes to get used to it. So what features will the Z10 offer? It's an all-touchscreen device with a 4.2-inch display and looks a good deal like rival phones. It has no physical navigation system and no keyboard. Wall Street Journal analyst Walter Mossberg says it feels good in his hand and he likes the virtual keyboard, the camera and the way it gathers all messages into a single hub. BlackBerry CEO Thorsten Heins says the phone's ability to run multiple apps at the same time, and a predictive tool that chooses words as you type, will win over consumers unfamiliar with the device, as well as sway users in the government. He also says the hyperspeed innovation cycle will make it harder for Apple iOS to compete with the Z10. The new BlackBerry Q10 is scheduled to be out on retail shelves in June. The BlackBerry Q10 incorporates the kind of physical keyboard that fans of the old BlackBerry loved. USA Today's Edward Baig says it felt like a real BlackBerry keyboard when he started to use it. FACEBOOK.COM/WASSUPXTRAMAGAZINE

Computers And Phones

A new app will allow games to run on all devices (laptops to telephones) and on Macs or PCs. With the BlueStacks App Player installed on your machines, you can play a mobile app on your desktop display. Or play a great Android game on your touchpad. Many more apps are available for mobile devices than for desktops and laptops. Apple's App Store has more than 800,000, and Google Play offers 700,000. Today, the most desirable apps, such as those for computer games, aren't available for desktop and laptop computers. But with the App Player, they get a whole new stage. For example, BlueStacks' App Player can run Android apps designed for a mobile phone on most computers. Game developers will not have to change the way they work because the App Player doesn't require them to change their code in any way, says Markus Kassulke, CEO of HandyGames. That makes virtually every game in development for any device available to run through App Player -- a gamers' crossover dream. Eventually, App Player software may also run on TVs, game consoles and set-top boxes. The software could predict a future where mobile apps can be used on any device or operating system, according to Bloomberg Businessweek.

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La La’s Love Letters Dear La La, I am in a relationship with a guy I truly believe I may be in love with. He is really close to his family and has shared with me that he plans to marry and raise a family close to his parents and siblings. I just got offered my dream job, but it is 3 states away! Do I sacrifice what I have worked so hard for or do By Lauren Strec I just take a deep breath and walk away? Hawaii Harriet Dear Hawaii, Take the job. If you don’t, you’re going to always wonder, “what could have been,” and may even resent him down the road, if things work out. And what if things don’t work out?! Then it all would have been for nothing. You say you “may” be in love with this guy. If this was a certain thing, I wonder if you would be questioning to leave. Just some food for thought. Suggest to him to move with you, and tell him he can always come back if he really needs his family in close proximity. If he really cares for YOU, he should at least give it a try. Dear La La, I have been dating this girl for about a month now and every time we have fooled around it has been dark in the room. So, the other day for the first time she began undressing in front of me and there it was...a big hairy mole on her belly! I almost threw up in my mouth. Can I suggest that she go to a doctor and have that growth removed or would that come across as shallow? Ewwww, please help! Ground Hog Dear Hog, Dude, you’re an ass. This girl obviously is self conscious about it, hence the dark lights. If you’re just in it to bang, you’re in no place to make suggestions to suit your superficial standards. Now, if you really dig this chick, I think you’ll eventually find that the “Holy Moley” will become less apparent once you fall for her more. Down the road, the topic of health and cancer prevention would be a more appropriate conversation. Dear LaLa, My husband is constantly nagging me to give up my flannel pajamas and head to Lovers Lane for something a bit sexier. I just don't really get the point. If "love is blind", then why do men love lingerie so much? Hunter Jane Dear Jane, You’re over-analyzing this. You mean to tell me that when your hubby gets dressed up for a night out, you just go, “meh?” It’s nice to look at, yeah? Men are very visual creatures, and your husband is attracted to you! That’s awesome. Half of marriages end in divorce, and your guy still wants to see you all sexified. It won’t kill you to do it, it will make him happy, and you may even come to find that you enjoy how turned on he’s going to get. Plus, you’ll always have some collateral to get him to do things around the house. Dear La La, My wife and I have been married for about a year now and we have a really great time when we go out together. About a month ago we happened to walk into a bar on their karaoke night and she was so excited she insisted we stay. She claimed she was the "karaoke queen" in college and I was in for a treat. OMG...she sounded like two alley cats having a fierce showdown! She had such a good time (at everyone else's ex-

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pense) that now she wants to go every week. Is it my duty as her loving husband to break the news or do I just invest in a good pair of earplugs, grin and bear it? Joe Dear Joe, Aw, that poor thing! Ignorance is bliss, and don’t ruin it for her. There’s a few simple pleasures in life that excite us, and she has found something. Every karaoke night has at least one or two tone-deaf people in the lineup, and unfortunately she is one of them. It’s no big deal, and usually other karaoke-ers expect this. Here’s a suggestion: find an inexpensive singing class at your local community college or online, and ask her if she’d be interested to enroll, to “hone her craft.” If she’s down, let the teacher be the one to tweak her delivery.

Lauren is a spokesmodel for tv, radio, live events, blogging, and social media. Connect at Facebook.com/LaurenStrec for tidbits, news, and fun photos. You can see her videos and more at LaurenStrec.com.

One Liners Excuses are like asses everyone’s got em and they all stink. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm Drink 'till she's cute, but stop before the wedding I'm not cheap, but I am on special this week Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark. An apple a day keeps the doctor away... so does having no medical insurance.

HELP WANTED

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VOTE FOR YOUR FAVORITE JUNE BARTENDER

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ur tra o y X ho’s te w ri o ? v r e fa d n e t bar

Go to

facebook.com/wassupxtramagazine ‘Like’ the page and ‘Like’ or comment on the bartenders photo or text 773.288.9400 or vote @ www.whatsupxta.com The winner will receive a 4 hour limo bus from LIMOSALIVE.NET for 24 of their friends.

Bartender: Stacie MacGuffins (AMC Theatre), 500 Chicago Ridge Mall, Chicago Ridge Signature Drink: Stacie’s Suprise Ingredients: Captain Morgan, Blackberry Brandy, Secret Ingredients

Bartender: Nikki Angie's Bar 300 S Midland, Rockdale Signature Drink: Angry Balls

Words of Wisdom: "A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory."

Bartender: Maria Perception Lounge 6814 Windsor Ave, Berwyn

Ingredients: Angry Orchard, Fireball Whiskey Words of Wisdom: "Suck my angry balls!"

Bartender: Cassie Jameson's 9545 W Saint Francis Frankfort

Signature Drink: Suck My Pepito Ingredients: Effen Cucumber, Lime, Soda Water, Salt Words of Wisdom: "The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it."

Signature Drink: Heartbreaker Ingredients: Jaegermeister, Peach Schnapps, Malibu, Pineapple and Cranberry Juice Words of Wisdom: "Free advice is the kind that costs you nothing unless you act upon it."

MAY BARTENDER OF THE MONTH IS... CONGRATULATIONS

Jayme

Bull Pen Sports Bar 716 Cottage St. Shorewood “Gotta try it once!”

Rules: All service employees are eligible to win. The service employee who receives the most votes in the month wins. You can submit your vote by texting (773) 288-9400 or go to facebook.com/whatsupxtramagazine “like” our page and vote under the bartender’s photo or go to www.whatsupxtra.com

*The Pub Crawl will begin at the employee of the months bar and the limo bus will accommodate 24 passengers. Gratuity not included and must be paid prior to service

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BAR DIRECTORY Alsip Bar 122 Dakota Inn Southsides

Berwyn

Cigars and Stripes Fitzgeralds James Joyce Pub Juniors Kickoffs Off The Traxx Perception Lounge Tiger O’Stylies

708-597-1122 708-388-6622 708-371-1133

55th Street Pub

6301 W. 73rd

708-728-6500

6715 W. Ogden Ave 6615 Roosevelt Rd 7138 Windsor 7011 Ogden Ave 6305 26th St 3144 S. Oak Park Ave 6814 W. Windsor 6300 W. Ogden

708-484-1043 708-788-2118 708-795-1100 708-484-9464 708-484-2466 708-637-4430 708-749-2484 708-795-1298

Bobby McGee’s O’Connor Pub Jack Desmond Jessie's Tavern Nickobee’s Lucky's Lounge

8000 S. Roberts Rd 7600 S. Harlem 8500 S. Harlem 7801 W. 79th Pl

708-594-5600 708-496-0300 708-598-7000 708-728-9696

361 N. Schmidt 730 N. Bolingbrook 132 N. Bolingbrook 220 Beacon Ridge 431 W. Boughton Rd 594 N. Pinecrest

630-459-6084 630-739-4646 630-739-1364 630-739-9810 630-679-1992 630-739-0575

Bridgeview All Star Sports Bar Illusions Tiger’s Lounge X’s & O’s Lounge

Bolingbrook Clemente’s Pub Gonzo’s Panama Connect Quarterdeck Tailgators T&T Lounge

Brookfield Irish Times Joe’s Saloon Johnny B’s Bar Local Bar Slager’s Bar

8869 Burlington` 9220 W. 47th 8436 Brookfield 3733 Grand Blvd 9308 47th

708-485-8787 708-485-9640 708-485-4504 708-255-5551 708-387-0317

5700 W. 79th 6501 W. 79th 5616 N. 87th 5406 W. 79th St 6353 W. 79th St 8642 S. Cicero 7107 W. 79th

708-529-3547 708-229-8700 708-423-1570 708-423-1523 708-233-9148 708-424-3720 708-599-6399

14540 S Torrence Ave 3000 E. 138th St

708-862-3139 708-933.6360

666 Hirsch Avenue 148 155th Street 335 154th Place 31 154th Place 816 Burnham Avenue 1245 Burnham Ave

708-891-9290 708-891-9073 708-862-2386 708-891-9748 708-832-3847 708-862-2966

Burbank Castle Inn Chuck’s Voodoo Dalton's Pub Durbins Frank's Place Maggie McGuires Tic N Tin Tap

Burnham Brown Jug Tally Ho

Calumet City Bagley’s Boss’s Lounge John L’s Place Lauers Pub Harry O’s The Hideaway

Chicago

12219 S. Pulaski 12119 S. Crawford 11860 S Cicero

Bedford Park Buzz Bomb

Where are you going tonight?:

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4201 W. 55th St.

773-582-8839

Chicago Ridge 10139 S. Harlem 5900 W. 111th 10339 Ridgeland 10501 Ridgeland 10301 Southwest 6605 95th St

708-529-3526 708-422-6400 708-857-7910 708-499-0048 708-499-2643 708-237-3776

9901 W. 55th 917 W. 55th 10901 Joliet Rd

708-354-3333 708-354-0991 708-246-3188

802 Theodore 1200 Cedarwood 20631 W. Renwick 2115 Plainfield 2357 Plainfield

815-726-3401 815-741-4318 815-838-5234 815-744-4159 815-725-2252

13602 S. Cicero 13430 S. Cicero 13815 Cicero Ave 13430 S Cicero

708-388-8862 708-371-7665 708-597-2415 708-371-7665

1358 Main St 1338 Main St 940 Steger Rd

708-672-9449 708-279-7163 708-672-1167

8109 S. Cass Ave

630-739-2999

Flossmore Station 1035 Sterling Ave North Woods 800 Kedzie Ave

708-957-2739 708-957-5600

Countryside Harry’s bar Kenny’s Tavern Rafferty’s

Crest Hill

Bada Brew Bobby McGees Chaoz Sports Gusto’s Marty’s Place

Crestwood Brazen Head Doc’s Lounge Mitch's Pub Pockets Billiards

Crete Chuck's Place Ignorant Bliss NorthWoods

Darien

Q’s Billiards

Flossmore

Frankfort

Jameson Pub 9545 W. Saint Francis Local Bar 7900 W. Lincoln Hwy Old Plank Tavern 113 Kansas

815-469-0500 815-469-9450 815-464-1004

Hazel Crest Sidebar 167

Hickory Hills Cravens Pub Kowal's Bar Prime Time

Homer Glen Cool River Davidson Bar Mullets Pelican Harrys

2905 W. 167th St

708-596-5055

8833 W. 87th St 9401 S. Roberts Rd 7750 W. 95th St

708-237-1705 708-598-0835 708-599-2333

12622 W. 159th 14136 S. Bell Rd 14903 S. Bell Rd 14807 Founders Xing

708-301-8006 708-645-0000 708-645-7000 708-301-5555

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BAR DIRECTORY

Where are you going tonight?: Homewood Fifth Quarter Tap Lassen’s Bar Ridgewood Tap

North Riverside 18105 Dixie Hwy 2131 183rd 2059 Ridge Rd

708-798-2710 708-957-2220 708-798-1414

Joliet Izzy’s

507 Theodore St

815-727-4999

Davern’s Tavern 8527 W. 79th New Bridges Bar 8531 W. 79th

708-924-6003 708-728-9990

Lansing J.J. Kelley’s Kilroy’s

2455 Bernice Rd 3502 Ridge Rd

708-474-9977 708-895-5233

Lemont Canal St Pub Illinois Bar Nick’s Tavern The Vault Tom’s Place Stonehouse Pub

309 Canal St 1131 State St 221 Main St 308 Canal St 110 Stephen St 103 Stephen St

630-257-7438 630-257-0666 630-257-6564 630-312-8380 630-257-9875 630-257-1300

Lockport Carters Place Fat Sam’s Jackie’s Place Paradise Bay Outpost Stella’s On State

122 W. 9th 122 E. 9th 1016 S. State 105 W 10th St 14929 Archer Ave 823 S. State St

815-838-7881 815-838-4420 815-588-0715 815-838-6513 815-836-8893 815-834-2780

Lyons Tap Marlin’s McCafferty’s Pub Ricky D’s Place

8143 W. 47th 7236 Pershing Rd 8107 Ogden 7901 Ogden

708-853-9600 708-442-2645 708-442-0630 708-442-8688

McCook All Star Bar

7949 W. 47th

708-442-8600

3625 W 159th 15745 Kedzie Ave

708-331-5860 708-225-1844

Lyons

Markham

Merrionette Park 115 Bourbon Street 3359 W. 115th

708-388-8881

Midlothian Coaches Bar Durbin’s Jack’s Place Sullivans

14650 Waverly Midlothian 14753 S. Cicero 3915 147th St. 4660 147th St

708-629-0685 708-687-1700 708-489-2250 708-385-4100

10160 W. 191st 18700 Old LaGrange Rd 9630 Willow

708-479-6873 708-478-3610 708-479-1302

2101 Calistoga

815-462-2000

Mokena 191 South Morgan’s Post Game Pub

New Lenox Charleston’s

2433 DesPlaines 2531 DesPlaines

708-853-9143 708-443-5770

15400 Cicero 15501 S.Cicero 15427 Cicero

708-535-4800 708-535-8960 708-535-6374

Oak Forest Blarney Stone Marcotte’s Tap's Pub

Oak Lawn

Justice

Envy’s Pub George's Place

Bar Tini Lounge Sweet Spot

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Cullens Pub 9953 Southwest Hwy Demma's Bar 5805 W. 87th Pl George's Lounge 5407 W. 95th Goal Post 5207 W. 95th St. Hot Corner 4913 W. 95th St Inn Zone Bar 9904 Southwest Hwy Murphy's Law 9247 S. Cicero Quigley’s 4010 W. 111th R Place Lounge 9848 Southwest Hwy St James 5305 W. 95th St. Tailgators 9256 S. Cicero Tavern on the West End 6950 W 95th St TC Pub 9700 S. Cicero

708-424-7286 708-636-1240 708-636-0223 708-422-5275 708-422-1884 708-636-1555 708-952-4774 708-425-1330 708-423-1350 708-430-1298 708-629-0685

Orland Park Coaches Corner Danny’s Corner Fat Sams Jordans Pub Zantes Lounge

8116 W. 143rd St 9400 W, 143rd St 15896 S. LaGrange Rd 13500 S. Harlem 8888 W. 159th St

708-364-1026 708.226.9223 708-403-0733 708-460-8330 708-364-0100

Palos Heights Joe Daniels Sam Bucas Mister Mo’s X’s & O’s Lounge

12218 S. Harlem 12231 S. Harlem 7214 College Dr 6405 W. 127th

708-923-9902 708-361-1226 708-671-0288 708-824-9600

10154 S. Roberts Rd 11011 Southwest 8300 W. 107th St. 9750 S. Roberts Rd 10307 S Roberts Rd

708-598-8881 708-974-9085 708-974-0509 708-576-8142 708-233-6400

15014 S. DesPlaines 24001 W. Lockport 24035 W. Lockport 7162 Caton 706 W Lockport 24002 W. Lockport 16108 S. Rte 59

815-609-0000 815-609-8445 815-436-9395 815-609-0192 815-436-4529 815-733-5148 815-782-7410

Palos Hills Durbin’s Red Velvet Valley Inn Village Pub Zante Lounge

Plainfield

Backdoor Pub Gunther’s Bar Gruben’s Tap McBride’s Pub O’Sullivan’s Pub Tap House The Penalty Box

Posen D & D's Tavern Granny's Place Guzzlers J&J’s Pub Posen Pub 773.213.4597

14401 S. Sherman 708-385-0171 2838 W. 147th St 708-385-2509 14344 S. Mckinley 708-371-7484 14347 McKinley 708-388-2006 14346 S. Western 708-388-7335 Bar Directory Continued on page 22

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BAR DIRECTORY 805-524-4677

Are You Smarter Than CHESTER “The Sock Monkey”?

708-755-2277 708-248-5380 708-754-6848

1. Who were the "Founding Fathers"? a) The leaders of the American Revolution b) The signers of the Declaration of Independence c) The delegates to the 1787 Constitutional Convention?

Romeoville Stone City Saloon 721 N Independence

South Chicago Heights Baps Tap Prisco’s Tony G's

164 W. Sauk Trail 11 W. Sauk Tr 33 W. Sauk Tr

Steger J Martins Tap 81 E. 34th St Jack's Bar & Grill 436 W. 34th St Jolt N Joes 3215 Union

708-755-6152 708-754-7000 708-755-3330

Stickney 39th St. Pub

708-484-2466

4. In Greek myth, he is the "father of the universe"… a) Cronos b) Uranus c) Zeus

3600 North Ave

708-865-4411

5. "Father Time" is also known as… a) St. Nicholas b) The Grim Reaper c) Daedalus

7245 W. Archer

708-458-1900

17731 Oak Park 17704 Oak Park 18305 Oak Park 17265 Oak Park 17348 Oak Park 17020 Oak Park 17329 Oak Park

708-429-7955 708-633-1144 708-532-1639 708-429-1000 708-429-7000 708-532-4409 708-532-9707

7. The "Our Father" is also called… a)The doxology b) The Kaddish c) The Lord's Prayer

708-839-1959 708-839-9508 708-839-8090

10. Who is often called the "Father of Medicine"? a) Demosthenes b) Hippocrates c) Galen

Summit Europe

Tinley Park Bailey’s Bar Cuzins Tavern Dendrino's Durbins JWHollsteins Old Tinley Pub Teehan's

3. He is known as the "Father of History"… a) Pliny b) Herodotus c) Aristotle

6611 Pershing Rd

Stone Park El Gusanito

2. In the Roman Catholic Church, who is the "Holy Father"? a) God b) Jesus c) The Pope

Willow Springs Connies Grove Inn 8258 Kean Ave Friendly Tap 8240 Archer Ave Neon Moon Saloon 8236 Kean Ave

6. Who is considered "the Father of the Symphony"? a) Joseph Haydn b) Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart c) Ludwig van Beethoven

8. Saint Nicholas, the martyr behind the "Father Christmas" myth, is from… a) Asia Minor b) The Netherlands c) England 9. To whom does the term "Great White Father" refer? a) Santa Claus b) The Pope c) The U.S. president

Willowbrook Kerry Piper Maxums Phillies Bar

7900 Joliet Rd 9300 S. Kingery 6300 S. Kingery

630-325-3732 630-789-6800 630-654-0101

6315 Main 1999 W 75th St

630-964-8454 630-985-5945

Woodbridge Cabana Charleys Shanahans

Worth Bar Code 111 7016 W 111th Street The Chieftan 6908 W 111th Street Phil Mc Krackens 6602 111th Street

708 448-4040 708 827-5739 708)671-8090

To be listed in our bar directory call 773.213.4597

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Answers 6. Joseph Haydn 7. The Lord’s Prayer 8. Asia Minor 9. The U.S. president 10. Hippocrates

www.whatsupxtra.com

1. The delegates to the 1787 Constitutional Convention 2. The Pope 3. Herodotus 4. Uranus 5. The Grim Reaper

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Pirate At A Bar

Beer Garden with TV’s and Bags

A pirate was talking to a land-lover in a bar. The land-lover noticed that, like any self-respecting pirate, this guy had a peg leg, a hook in place of one of his hands and a patch over one eye. The land-lover just had to find out how the pirate got in such bad shape. He asked the pirate,

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"How did you loose your leg?" The pirate responded, "I lost me leg in a battle off the coast of Jamaica!" His new acquaintance was still curious so he asked, "What about you hand. Did you loose it at the same time?" "No," answered the pirate. "I lost it to the sharks off the Florida Keys." Finally, the land-lover asked, "I notice you also have an eye patch. How did you loose your eye? The pirate answered, "I was sleeping on a beach when a seagull flew over and crapped right in me eye." The land-lover asked, "How could a little seagull crap make you loose your eye?" The pirate snapped, "It was the day after I got me hook!"

Sunday:

$10 Domestic Buckets + $4 Bloody Marys Monday: $1.50 Domestic Bottles Tuesday: $5 Domestic Pitchers + $2 Well Drinks Wednesday: $1.75 Domestic Bottles Thursday: $3 Import Bottles 716 Cottage St Shorewood (815) 725-8753

SUDOKU Rules: Every column, row and 3x3 box must have numbers 1 to 9

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JUNE EVENTS

Chicago Blues Festival Grant Park www.chicagobluesfestival.us Cost: Free Hours: June 6-9, 2013

Special opening night concert at the Jay Pritzker Pavilion in Millennium Park features a line-up of the genre's next generation headlined by Shemekia Copeland. On Friday, the festival moves to Grant Park where Bobby Rush kicks off the festival's journey from the Mississippi Delta to Chicago and the world. Includes music on five stages.

Andersonville Midsommarfest Andersonville 5200 N. Clark, between Foster and Catalpa Chicago, Ill. 60640 (773) 728-2995 www.andersonville.org Cost: $10 donation, free kids under 12 Hours: 11 a.m.-10 p.m. June 8-9, 2013 Andersonville, a neighborhood with roots dating back to Swedish immigrants who settled the streets north of Foster and east of Clark in the 1850s, puts on a summer festival that's fit for the modern era, but honors the neighborhood's rich tradition. A highlight of the fest is a Maypole dance, a traditional circular dance celebrated in Sweden during the midsummer. Families may also bring their pets along and participate in the festival's pet parade, which provides a way for the entire clan to enjoy a lazy summer afternoon.

Make Music Chicago

www.makemusicchicago.com Cost: free musical celebration across the city at 65 sites Hours: June 21, 2013; throughout the day This one-day music festival, patterned after France's national music festival "Fête de la Musique," celebrates the ability of everyone to make music. People of all ages, amateurs and professionals, in all genres of music, are invited to gather throughout the day in Chicago's public spaces to engage in spontaneous music-making. The festival culminates in an evening grand finale at St. James Cathedral Commons. Festival public spaces include Daley Plaza, Chicago Cultural Center, Alliance Française (810 N. Dearborn) and St. James Cathedral Commons (65 E. Huron). Visit the website for more information.

Green Music Fest

Damen Ave, between North and Schiller www.greenmusicfestchicago.com Cost: $5 donation Hours: Noon-10 p.m. June 22-23, 2013 Fest blends cutting edge, environmentally-conscious bands with green vendors and activities and demos.

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DOC’S LOUNGE & P CKETS Billiards 13430 S CICERO CRESTWOOD 708-371-7665 Sun - Thur 10am - 2pm / Fri & Sat 10am - 3am

VIDEO GAMING IS HERE!!!

Pizza - Appetizers - Sandwiches - 24 Pool Tables Shuffleboard - Darts - Bean Bags - Patio - Free Wifi

Collecting Snails For The Dinner Party

Happy Father’s Day

A wife and her husband were having a dinner party for some important guests. The wife was very excited about this and wanted everything to be perfect. At the very last minute, she realized that she didn't have any snails for the dinner party, so she asked her husband to run down to the beach with the bucket to gather some snails. Very grudgingly he agreed. He took the bucket, walked out the door, down the steps, and out to the beach. As he was collecting the snails , he noticed a beautiful woman strolling alongside the water just a little further down the beach. He kept thinking to himself, "Wouldn't it be great if she would even just come down and talk to me?" He went back to gathering the snails. All of a sudden he looked up, and the beautiful woman was standing right over him. They started talking and she invited him back to her place. They ended up spending the night together. At seven o'clock the next morning he woke up and exclaimed, "Oh no!!! My wife's dinner party!!!" He gathered all his clothes, put them on real fast, grabbed his bucket, and ran out the door. He ran down the beach all the way to his apartment. He ran up the stairs of his apartment. He was in such a hurry that when he got to the top of the stairs, he dropped the bucket of snails. There were snails all down the stairs. The door opened just then, with a very angry wife standing in the door way wondering where he's been all this time. He looked at the snails all down the steps, then he looked at her, then back at the snails and said, "Come on guys, we're almost there!!"

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IN C O C A P LU u G td P R D & re o SU IZ E B at or LE E S ee fo M S r r ac & G P h ar at in de io e ns s

XER Game

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For Fun For Tournaments

You haven’t boxed a Boxer till you’ve boxed...

Bars and Event Coordinators call 773.213.4597

THE GLOVE

to order the Boxer at no cost & learn more about profit opportunities

New Machines: prizes paid out through the machine for top scores, wheel of fun,. and more...

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2012 JUNE FREE

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“LIKE US” FACEBOOK WHATS UP XTRA MAGAZINE

DO YOUR WANT MORE AZZES IN THE SEATS? DOES ADVERTISING WORK? IT JUST DID - PRINT & CALL 773.213.4597 MAGAZINE / ONLINE

Riddle Ri ddle of the Month Determine what letter should replace the ? at the end: M M L J A R C CGEPC?

WIN A $25

GIFT CERTIFICATE

Text your answers to: 773-288-9400 or e-mail: whatsupxtra@yahoo.com Leave your name, e-mail, and telelphone number. All correct answers go into drawing.

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Answer to Last Months Riddle Five words that contain NO as a letter pair have had all of their other letters removed and placed into a pool. Put those letters back in their proper places. What are the words? NO***, **NO*, **NO**, ***NO*, **NO**** Pool: A, A, A, C, C, D, E, G, H, I, I, L, M, M, P, P, R, S, T, Y

Answer: Winner:

NOMAD, MINOR, CANOPY, PHENOL, AGNOSTIC

Julie Garcia

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3 PIGS One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her class. She came to the part of the story where the first pig was trying to accumulate the building materials for his home. She read, "...And so the pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow full of straw and said, "Pardon me sir, but may I have some of that straw to build my house?'" The teacher paused then asked the class, "And what do you think that man said?" One little boy raised his hand and said, "I think he said "'Holy Sh*t! A talking pig!'"

Blondes Finish Jigsaw Puzzle A group of blondes walk into a bar. One of the women tells the bartender to line up a row of drinks for all of them. The gals lift their glasses and toast, “Here’s to 51 days!” and they proceed to down their drinks. Once again, they tell the bartender to “line ‘em up”, and once again they toast 51 days and down their drinks. The bartender says, “I don’t get it. Why in the world are you toasting 51 days?” One of the blondes explains, “We just finished a jigsaw puzzle. It had written on the box ‘2-4 years,’ but we finished it in 51 days!” FACEBOOK.COM/WASSUPXTRAMAGAZINE

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www.FightCard.net On May 22nd, FIGHTCARD unleashed great fights and an

awesome match up in a title defense for the 185lb champion.

Want to Compete? Contact Nilo @ 312.369.4180

1. Christian Lucero (Kaotic Punishment) vs. Carlos Hernandez (Combat Do) Winner: Hernandez wins by submission in 1:50 of Round 1 via a RNC. Muay Thai 2. Jeremy Higgins (Robby Cole Muay Thai) vs. Evan Wright (Carlson Gracie) Winner: After 3 rounds, Wright wins by Unanimous Decision. 3. Rob Podobinski (Predator Muay Thai) vs. Eder Brito (Victory Martial Arts) Winner: Podinski wins by submission in 1:30 of Round 2 via a RNC. Muay Thai 4 . Tony Richards (Evanston Boxing Club) vs. Nam Ho (Robby Cole Muay Thai) Winner: After 3 rounds, Ho wins by Split Decision. 5. Stephen Lee (Keller’s Martial Arts) vs. James Waller (Chicago Muay Thai) Winner: Waller wins by TKO in 1:34 or Round 1. Referee stops the fight due to strikes. 6. Sam Ferguson (Carlson Gracie) vs. Rob Duczynski (Robby Cole Muay Thai) Winner: After 3 rounds, Ferguson wins by Split Decision. Muay Thai 7. Rick Thurmand (Keller’s Martial Arts) vs. Daniel James (Combat Do) Winner: After 3 rounds, James wins by Unanimous Decision. 8. Earnest Downing vs. Albert Rodriguez (Rio Jiu Jitsu) Winner: Rodriguez wins by submission in 2:09 of Round 1 via a RNC.

Main Event Title Fight

9. Mitch Nix (Valko Jiu Jitsu/Team Toro) vs. Dinisio Gilbert (No Comment) Winner: After 5 rounds, Nix wins by Unanimous Decision. FIGHTCARD50: RELOADED has been announced for Saturday, July 20th at Cicero stadium and plans on being a summer blockbuster hit matching veteran fighters with the new dominance in the game. FIGHTCARD & PMA Inc. will feature the best professional and amateur fighters in the Midwest and promising for Championship match ups. Fighters rumored for return are former FIGHTCARD Champions Maurice Greene, Guillermo Serment & Danny Morales with other fighter like Maurice Jackson, Terry House, Mike Santiago & former Cutthroat Champion Eddy Castillo. Don't miss the hottest MMA event this year.

RING GIRL INQUIRY? Email Brian@FightCard.net

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