Middle School Counseling Night: Sept. 23, 2021

MIDDLE SCHOOL COUNSELING NIGHT C

September 23, 2021

Counseling Department

Mrs. Ashley Giljum

Grades 6-8

Ms. Peggy FitzGibbon

Grades 9-12; A-G

Mrs. Mary Bodlovich

Grades 9-12; H-M

Mrs. Chrissy Boyce

Grades 9-12; N-Z

Mrs. Alice O’Donnell

Administrative Assistant

“Your child, although progressing happily with her social, emotional, physical, and intellectual development to this point, upon entering middle school begins to embark on a major construction project to build the 3 things she needs to be an adult – a grown-up body, a mature brain, and a unique identity.”

“This is her primary job in middle school – and it’s an awesome task.”

(Middle School Makeover by Michelle Icard pg. 4)

Middle School Counseling Program

Individual & Small Group Sessions Examples include Study Skills Club & Self Esteem Group

Classroom Guidance Lessons 6th Grade – Study Skills, Quarterly Class Lessons, & Girl Talk 7th Grade – Owning Up 8th Grade – Owning Up

CTP Online (ERB) Standardized Testing October 12-14, 2021 (Early dismissal at 11:30 on Wednesday, Oct. 13)

• Cotillion by Etiquette St. Louis – 8th Graders • Girls in the Know • 5th / 6th Graders + a Trusted Adult • Virtual Programming by the Organization from home for interested families

• Peer-2-Peer Tutoring • Monthly MS Counseling Newsletters • Middle School Parent Book Club • 1st Book - “Untangled” by Lisa Damour, Ph.D. • In-Person (dates TBD) with online discussion board

Additional Programs

ACADEMICS C

Academic Goals • Be resourceful • Be an advocate for themselves • Be successful • Be independent

Foundational - Response Inhibition, Working Memory, Emotional Control, Flexibility, Sustained Attention, Task Initiation Advanced – Planning, Organization, Time Management, Goal-Directed Persistence, Metacognition

• Increasing pressure, external and internal • Being “perfect”, high expectations • Stress, not just for adults anymore • Reframing thoughts • Move from relying on extrinsic rewards (grades) to intrinsic rewards (feeling of accomplishment, improvement, effort) • De-emphasize grades • Celebrate learning and growth • Discussions vs. Rumination • Distraction, Coping Ideas & Anchor Activity From: Letting Go of Perfect by Jill L. Adelson & Hope E. Wilson The Drama Years by Haley Kilpatrick Untangled by Lisa Damour, Ph.D.

Stress & Perfectionism

Homework Expectations On average, 1.5 – 2 hours per night • Will vary based on rotating schedule and which classes drop • Advisory on Monday, Tuesday and Thursday – typically dedicated homework time or time to meet with teachers as needed (Wed/Fri – fun, community building)

Viz Portal • Class information; homework, quiz & test dates • Viz calendar, news & resources

Daily Planner • Daily schedule, record homework, calendars, MS information

Laptops * Guidelines for use at home • Where?

• When?

• How long?

• Consequences?

* Monitoring Use • Use in a visible place • No minimizing • Software

SOCIAL LIFE C

Social Challenges Fitting in & belonging Making & changing friendships Cliques Mixers, parties, relationships, & dating Body image & sexuality Exposure to alcohol, smoking/vaping & drugs Social media & the Internet

Dealing with Challenges * Personal Responsibility • Allow them to handle own problems • Talk through situations, reserve judgement (neutral expression) • Help them learn through their challenges and failures

* Communication • Listen closely (complaining vs. venting, hot potato & externalization) • Share and discuss family values • Set clear expectations

Dealing with Challenges * Setting Limits • • • •

Make consequences known Consistency Be willing to be unpopular, not her friend Learn when to compromise

* Resiliency • Failure is necessary, learn through contrast

* Reach out for help when needed • Viz Faculty & Staff • Referrals

Dealing with Challenges Be Aware of Relationships

Be Aware of Technology

• Know your daughter’s friends and their parents • Talk to other parents • Notice changes

• Music • Movies/TV/Netflix • Social Media • Distractions/Safety

Visit www.commonsensemedia.org to see reviews and ratings of TV shows, movies, music, websites, books, video games, apps, etc.

For example - -

Bark App

💯 = A stamp of approval; “I agree” 💯 = Marijuana/weed �= Indicates “spiciness,” i.e., inappropriate or risqué content � = Used in comments to denote a sarcastic, mean-spirited tone ♀💯 💯 = Used when sending or receiving nudes �/dead = Basically the new “lol” or �” Capping = Lying Finsta = A second, private/secret, more relaxed Instagram account that more or less every social media-active teenager has Heather = The perfect girl that everyone either wants or wants to be Pick me girl = A girl who tries to impress others by being different or quirky.

(Passing the) vibe check = To vibe check someone is to assess them based on how they seem

2021 Slang on Social Media

VIZ STUDENT FAVORITES C

6th Grade

(27/33 responded) Singer/Musical Group • Olivia Rodrigo • Harry Styles • Various Country artists

TV Shows •Outer Banks •Stranger Things •Fuller House •Stuck in the Middle

Website

Social Media

• YouTube • Amazon • Various Shopping sights • Google • Netflix

• Texting = 78% • Skype/Facetim e = 78% • TikTok = 56% • Snapchat = 44% • Instagram = 19%

(Of those who replied, 20 students own phones/ 7 students do not own phones)

7th Grade

(31/49 responded) Singer/Musical Group

TV Shows

• Taylor Swift • Ava Max • One Direction • Olivia Rodrigo • Various Country artists

• Outer Banks • Stranger Things • Fuller House • The Office • Gilmore Girls

Website • YouTube • Amazon and other shopping • Roblox/various Gaming sites • Duolingo • Music sites

Social Media • Texting = 77% • Skype/Facetim e = 58% • Snapchat = 39% • TikTok = 35% • Instagram = 29%

(Of those who replied, 27 students own phones/ 4 students do not own phones)

8th Grade

(40/61 responded) Singer/Musical Group • Taylor Swift • Kelsea Ballerini • Michael Jackson • One Direction • Lorde • Morgan Wallen

TV Shows • Outer Banks • Criminal Minds • Gilmore Girls • Manifest • New Girl • Stranger Things • Greys Anatomy

Website • YouTube • Google • Amazon • Shopping • Netflix • Pinterest • Viz Portal

Social Media • Texting = 100% • Skype/Facetim e= 73% • TikTok = 66% • Instagram = 63% • Snapchat = 60%

(Of those who replied, all students own phones except for 1)

Did you know?

(Survey Results)

* Texting Amount * Cyberbullying * Support Groups * Bedtime * Average Hours of Sleep * Breakfast * Balance between extracurricular activities & time to relax * Source of stress & pressure

Parent Perspective (Survey Results)

CELL PHONES

LAPTOPS

PARENT EDUCATION

How much sleep do kids need?

MAY BE APPROPRIATE

NOT RECOMMENDED

AGE

RECOMMENDED

6-13 years

9 to 11 hours

7 to 8 hours 12 hours

Less than 7 hours More than 12 hours

14-17 years

8 to 10 hours

7 hours 11 hours

Less than 7 hours More than 11 hours

National Sleep Foundation - https://www.sleepfoundation.org/

• Untangled by Lisa Damour, Ph.D. • Letting Go of Perfect by Jill L. Anderson, Ph.D. & Hope E. Wilson, Ph.D. • The Drama Years by Haley Kilpatrick (Founder of Girl Talk) • Boys & Girls Learn Differently by Michael Gurian • The Wonder of Girls by Michael Gurian • Middle School Makeover by Michelle Icard • A Survival Guide to Parenting Teens by Joani Geltman, MSW • https://www.healthychildren.org/English/media/Pages/d efault.aspx - American Academy of Pediatrics – Family Media Plan

Book Recommendations & Resources

CONTACT? C

ASHLEY GILJUM agiljum@visitationacademy.org or 314.625.9225