Visible Magazine | Issue 006

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VISIBLE MAGAZINE Created by Sammy Noelle Photography by Sammy Noelle Written Pieces by Des Dare Barragan & Sammy Noelle

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Rehumanizing your city through the art of storytelling

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TABLE OF CONTENTS

Page 04 About Visible

Page 08 Part Of The Process featuring Millan Andreoli Kononitz of Fuze Jewelry

Page 017 Behind The Brand featuring Emma Brooks of Pair Up, Modeling by Elle Mahon Ching Page 030 Mirrored Love featuring Mike and Demy West Page 039 Wordless by Des Dare Barragan

Page 040 Coming Out featuring Haley Montgomery Dall Page 048 Living The Dream featuring Luka Korynta

Page 056 Common Strangers featuring Katherine “Katy” Peterson Page 064 Better Together featuring Just Tryna Make Friends

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What is Visible?

a locally based magazine intended to highlight the human beings that live, love, create, and work in the city.

Why Visible?

we all crave to be seen by others as a way to find real and tangible connection, where one is known deeply and fully.

Visible Magazine started to rehumanize a city, to breathe life back into a city by shedding light on stories of the human beings we pass by every single day.

Who is Visible?

a team of individuals who really love their city and really love people.

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THE VISIBLE TEAM INCLUDES

SAMMY NOELLE

Editor-In-Chief/Photographer Instagram | @sammynoelle SABRINA ROUNDS

Communications/Events Instagram | @sabroonds DES DARE BARRAGAN Lead Writer Instagram | @desdare MITA AQUINO

Communications/Brand Liasion Instagram | @aquinomita

The Visible Team (from left to right): Des Dare Barragan, Mita Aquino, Sabrina Rounds, and Sammy Noelle

scan here to learn more about our team

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NICE TO MEET YOU AND THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT To stay connected, follow us on Instagram @thevisiblemag and share your Visible moments with us #VisibleSD

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PART OF THE PROCESS FEATURING MILLAN ANDREOLI KONONITZ of FUZE JEWELRY Written by Sammy Noelle

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We found ourselves walking through the center of Liberty Station on a Thursday afternoon in November of 2022. With the long grassy lawns and fountain to our right, we looked left toward the row of green doors contrasting the salmon-colored, historic buildings. Eventually, as we came to an opening in the architecture, we saw the double doors of brand new permanent jewelry storefront, Fuze Jewelry.

We entered into a stunningly minimal, yet lifegiving space. To our right was a gorgeously neutral lounge set up, with a pop of floral color, to our left were cabinets and columns, exquisitely decorated in the large minimal space. And straight ahead of us, behind the main counter, was the woman who made that magical environment come to life in a mere six weeks - Millan Andreoli Kononitz.

Millan greeted us with a smile and waved goodbye to her husband (a major helping hand in bringing this Fuze space to life) as he headed out the doors to grab a coffee during our interview. We quickly and effortlessly stepped into photoshoot mode. Millan, being an absolute natural in front of the camera, carried herself around the space as we documented the process. Once our creating came to a close, we sat down in the rounded cream chairs in the lounge area.

We quickly discovered that Millan was an east coast gal, hailing from a small farm town in Western Massachusetts, and had moved to San Diego just over three years ago. When we asked why she made the move out to Southern California, she answered without hesitation, “Like, mainly weather.” We nodded in complete understanding.

During the Covid-19 pandemic, Millan and her love for dainty jewelry were looking for a permanent jeweler in the area, but couldn’t find anyone. She nonchalantly expresses the moment she figured she’d give it a try. “I was like, ‘You know what? This is the coolest thing ever. I want to do it, even if it’s just for myself.’”

So, she bought herself a welding machine and learned the art of fuzing.

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The Fuze Storefront

The beginning of Fuze was composed of a lot of pop-ups and outdoor markets, and eventually Millan reached out to Sea Hive Station, an indoor/outdoor hub providing space for local artists and vendors in Liberty Station, and ended up getting a spot in the jewelry section.

Starting with working three to four days a week, Millan soon realized that there wasn’t enough space for her to consistently cater to the large groups of people who would come in to get fuzed. Fast forward a year, and she is now operating out of her very own storefront.

We mentioned how wild her progress as a business owner has been in such a short amount of time, and Millan led with gratitude, “I feel like all the hard work I put into it I get back tenfold.” She continued on to say, “I’m always up for a challenge. I feel like I was always told growing up, ‘You can do whatever you want to do,’ and I fully, confidently believe that.” With a healthy dose of self-awareness and understanding, Millan wrapped up her thought, “And I feel like I know my limit. I know what I can do, I know what I can learn, and then there’s a point where someone else is going to be better at this. And I’ll collab.”

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With confidence in her strengths and the knowledge of her limits, Millan built a team to help her continue the growth that Fuze has already showcased. She hired two employees to help with fuzing so that she could focus on the other areas of the business, such as the previously mentioned art piece of an environment. Millan expressed how so many of her past jobs lacked a quality in their environment and made it clear that was a significant factor in her passion for a beautiful workspace that encourages a vibrancy of life.

“People spend so much time at work. The quality of your work life is going to be the quality of your life.” She recounted a thought from her past, “What if work, like, didn’t suck?”

Millan shared with us how anxiety has been a struggle in her life, and how, in the past, her workspace would be one that amplified her already present anxiety. So, she made it a mission of hers to mitigate the anxiety at work for herself and her employees, and in turn, carry a freedom and peace into the other areas of their lives. “I couldn’t be where I am without the help of my team. So, I want to show that appreciation on a daily basis.”

In the early stages of Fuze really taking off, Millan had a pivotal moment in her career path while she was balancing her start-up with freelance graphic design and selling vintage clothes. “I was like, ‘Okay. What if I just fully gave this my all? Let’s see what happens.’ And I’m so grateful. I know I’m never going to work for anyone else again.”

Millan continued to express the refreshment that working for herself has brought to her.

“It’s so freeing. I feel like my life is more my choice. Work is fun.”

As we dug a bit deeper into the roots of Millan’s entrepreneurial spirit, or as she referred to, her “origin story”, she shared how she grew up in a home where both parents were their own bosses. And actually, she deserves some credit for that becoming their reality.

“I remember, I think I was in sixth grade, and we were at the dinner table. My mom and my stepdad were talking about all of their coworkers, and one night I said, ‘I know everything about everyone you work with and it’s annoying. If you hate your job so much, then leave. Like, stop complaining and do something about it.’” And because of that, both her mom and stepdad went on to start their own businesses and have been doing so ever since.

If that story doesn’t bring the clarity that Millan was made to do exactly what she’s doing, we don’t know what will.

The more and more we learned about Millan’s story, it became evident that everything from her randomly doing social media management for a jewelry company to her freelancing in graphic design, her interest in minimalistic jewelry to her drive to do what she wants and not look back, have all been puzzle pieces to bring her to the full picture that is her present everyday life. In the words of Millan, “I feel like I’m in line with where I’m supposed to be.”

“I want it to be personal,” Millan stated as we asked about what was ahead for Fuze.

With piercings and styling right around the corner, she also wants to expand the brand to personalized jewelry experiences. Millan expressed that no matter the money spent, she wants everyone to leave Fuze Jewelry having had a luxurious experience that made them feel special and significant.

When we asked how that care for her clients and employees shows in her personal life, Millan brought a unique perspective to the table. “With the pandemic, people give less fucks, in a good way. And I see so many more individual styles appearing. I feel like there are so many genres of fashion and styling and self-expression now. That’s something I really care about. I feel like there are so many ways you can express yourself, and jewelry is one of them.” Millan summed up her own connection to this observation of the world around her, “It came as I grew more confident in myself, and figuring out who I am as a person, and how I’m always growing and changing.”

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Through Fuze Jewelry, Millan has made capturing memories and expressing one’s self approachable in the form of a delicate piece of jewelry you’ll have forever.

As we closed out our time together, Millan left us with a few words of wisdom. “Life is really short, so just do it. Just try it. What’s the worst that’s going to happen? You’re going to be exactly where you are.” Millan expands just briefly as she leaves us with this:

“You’ll perfect it as you grow with it.”

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Follow Millan & Fuze Jewelry Millan’s Instagram | @millanonitz Fuze Jewelry’s Instagram | @fuzejewelry Fuze Jewelry’s Website | www.fuze-jewelry.com

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THE VISIBLE PODCAST wherever you listen to your podcasts

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BEHIND THE BRAND FEATURING EMMA BROOKS of PAIR UP | MODELING by ELLE MAHON CHING Written by Des Dare Barragan

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Picture this.

An acre of luscious backyard, palm trees overhead, and sipping lemonade made from “borrowed” fruit out of a neighbor’s backyard, “They were just all on the ground, and they were asking to be made into something, so I grabbed them!”

Everyone, this is Emma Brooks. Savior of forgotten lemons and owner of the clothing line, Pair Up. Emma and her husband Bubba call this acre in Escondido, CA home, where all the magic of Pair Up happens. Pair Up is a small batch women’s line designed and primarily produced from Emma’s garage studio. The thought behind Pair Up is participating in the daily art of piecing sustainable items together to create outfits that make you feel like your most authentic self. Emma designs and makes each unique garment by hand alongside one other seamstress, Visible’s own Sabrina Rounds!

Drawn to create things from a young age, Emma tells us that her “mom was really cool” and deemed her room a space to express however she wanted; she could staple things onto the wall and dress her closet door in stickers and drawings. Along with an environment where artistry flourished, Emma enjoyed activities like scrapbooking, face painting, and doing coloring book tracings that her friends would buy for ten cents a pop. This creative edge continued into Emma’s adult life as she pursued a degree and career in graphic design and loved it! But after ten years as a successful freelancer, designing and branding for small businesses, it was time for a shift.

“When I started Pair Up, I didn’t know much about the fashion industry or about what it took to make clothes. I was trying to find something that felt similar to graphic design but strayed away from being on the computer all the time. It still involves color, texture, shapes, and includes the photography and e-commerce marketing side of things that I know so well.

So I just kind of dove in.” Emma did know that she wanted to make beautiful things that didn’t contribute to a large amount of waste, an initiative that she attributes to California culture and her husband, who is a scientist.

Emma tells us she’s saved all their cutting scraps since day one, which they try to reuse for patchwork products, and she is circling ideas for what to do with what they cannot reuse. “I’m excited by the idea of bringing an educational element into it where I’m discussing what it takes to make clothes, our relationship with them, how to repair them, and dispose of them at the end of their life.”

Like young Emma, who invited her friends to join in on decorating her closet door, at 35 she desires a fun and encouraging way to invite others into what she’s learned about clothing production & consumption.

In an industry where it is common practice to use new, virgin fabric to meet the demands of mass production and consistency, the Pair Up team only sews with deadstock and upcycled textiles. Deadstock is unused fabric that has been abandoned for a handful of different reasons. Sometimes brands overestimate their needs, a fabric mill might accidentally produce too much, or a dye house doesn’t match a requested color perfectly. Whatever the reason, it needs to find a new home and that’s where we come in. “There are these amazing massive warehouses full of fabric in LA. It feels like you’re walking through a city or a fortress of fabric rolls. It’s floors and floors and floors of fabric. It’s a little depressing seeing all of that unwanted material, but it’s also really fun searching for what I want to make my next pieces out of.”

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For Emma, it is all about the color. “Your eyeballs are scanning a million miles an hour; first, I’ll see the color, and then I’ll have to go in and feel it.” She gives herself hours to search for fabric, cutting swatches and laying them out on the floor before deciding what to buy!

“I have such a newfound respect for all parents that have had kids. I see them all through a new lens. Once you’re the one experiencing it, you’re like, ‘ohhhh, I get it.’” Emma shares how her transition into motherhood has been a beautiful but wild ride! Her days with 5-month-old Penny collide with the effects of sleep deprivation, time limitations, and rediscovering her workflow. What used to be a fluid process of sitting, steeping in, drawing, and pulling from her closet and images online is transforming into a more structured routine of sequenced priorities to accomplish. Emma affirms that parenting is a hard identity shift saying, “I just feel like my brain was cracked in half,” but describes how she simultaneously gains new joy and perspective through Penny’s life. “I see everything so differently. I get to live life again all over with her, and every person that I meet now, I’m like, ‘Do you have kids?’ and I wanna talk to them about their kids, versus before I would have been like, ‘What do you do for a living, let’s talk about work.’ Now I just want to talk about parenthood.”

“A lot of it is just me thinking about what I would wear and what I’m excited to wear. What do I wear every single day, and just leaning into that because otherwise, I think I’d just lose my mind trying to decide what to make.”

With the excitement of deadstock shopping also comes the harsh reality that these rolls were initially wasted. Emma shares her trips to the warehouses on Instagram because its powerful imagery. The average consumer doesn’t see or know about the effects of fast fashion and the excess that our clothing can produce. These are all things that Emma keeps in mind for Pair Up, especially with thoughts of the world she’s building for her newborn daughter.

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The Pair Up Garage Studio

When asked for something to leave our readers with, Emma immediately thought of a poster by the artist Daren Thomas Magee. “It’s of a palm tree and a swimming pool, and it just says, ‘Relax, you’ll be dead someday.’ It really resonated with me. I think it’s because I just gave birth in a hospital setting where I was surrounded by life and death.”

“I just have life on the mind, and I saw that poster and was like, ‘yeah, we are, and it’s going by so fast.’ Enjoy every day, enjoy every day before you die.”

The Pair Up team: Sabrina Rounds (left) & Emma Brooks (right)

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Elle wearing The Imperfect Wide Leg & Long Sleeve Tee, along with The Panel Hat by Pair Up

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Elle wearing The Imperfect Wide Leg, The Long Sleve, The Painter’s Jacket, accessorized with a Bandana by Pair Up

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Elle wearing The Pocket Vest & The Wide Leg in Olive by Pair Up

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Follow Emma, Pair Up, & Elle Emma’s Instagram | @emmadime Pair Up’s Instagram | @pairup_etc Pair Up’s Website | www.pairupetc.com Elle’s Instagram | @elleching_

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MIRRORED LOVE

FEATURING MIKE & DEMY WEST Written by Sammy Noelle

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We met up with Mike and Demy West at their church home, The Church at Rancho Bernardo, on a sunny Saturday afternoon.

They approached us in the parking lot with their 9-year-old son, Kai, and smiles that were different from each other’s, but comparable in the comfort they brought to those greeted by them. We entered through one of the pairs of double doors and exchanged the lowdown of each of our busy weeks as we found our way to a seating area with two chairs across from a couch. Everyone found a seat, got comfortable, and as Kai got set up with his entertainment for the hour, we sat down to chat.

Mike started off our introductions. “I’m Mike West. I, oh my God, I was about to say my age and I don’t know, but let’s skip the age.”

We all chuckled, and then Mike continued, “I’m an attorney. I’ve been an attorney for 29 years, and I specialize in trials. I defend skilled nursing facilities and residential care facilities, so I deal a lot with elder abuse, wrongful death, claims like that.”

Every word that came from Mike’s mouth was concise, yet thorough as he walked us through the details of his life. He shared with us that he has a daughter from a previous relationship named Brianna, and explained that she was 14 years old when Mike and Demy married.

Brianna has lived in North Carolina for the past year and works as a registered nurse for ICU general surgical patients.

Mike shifted the focus to talk about how he found himself in California. “I grew up in Atlanta, and I came out to California to go to Pepperdine Law School and eventually got stuck here. It was beautiful. After growing up in Atlanta, I wouldn’t really travel that much either. So, when I came out to California and was living in Malibu for three years like that, it was kind of a dream, you know?”

We agreed that Southern California wasn’t such a bad place to get stuck in.

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Mike continued, “Then I thought, ‘Okay, well I’ll just take the California Bar,’ but I always intended to go home and then, you know, life intervenes. And before I knew it, I was settled out here, practicing law.”

After thoughtfully wrapping up his introduction, Mike passed it off to Demy.

“I’m Demy West. I’m a twin, and I come from a blended family. My mom’s Japanese, and my dad’s Filipino. My dad was in the military, so it was a lot of moving. I mentioned my twin right away because my siblings became my best friends. Because every three years we would move and it was very hard, especially when you meet close friends or you have a crush on a boy, you’re like, ‘I don’t wanna leave. Why do we have to move again??’”

We all shared a healthy dose of laughter at Demy’s reenactment of her childhood years.

Demy dove deeper into the details of her home life and life as a twin, “Her (Demy’s twin sister) name is Emily. We’re fraternal twins, but our mannerisms and our voice are exactly alike. So people were like, are you Demy or Emily or Demily?” As she explained the dynamic between her and her sister, Emily, (who is 10 minutes older, by the way) it was made clear that the two were always balancing each other out with opposite personalities in different seasons.

Demy continued to talk about her family and home environment through her teenage years.

She shared how when she and Emily were in junior high, their parents got divorced, and Demy became like a mom in the household of six; which included herself, her father, and her four siblings.

“I think the divorce in my family’s life kind of helped me be like more of that big sister maternal role, like a leader and trying to be a role model. I had to grow up fast.”

Demy then introduced a shift in perspective, “But it was good. We’re really close because of my parent’s divorce and my dad met my stepmom really quickly. She’s Filipino and I think it was a good fit for him. You know, culturally, they were able to understand each other better.”

From her father remarrying, Demy gained three siblings, two half-sisters and one stepsister, all of whom she has only ever viewed as full siblings. This is a perfect example of Demy’s welcoming and care-taking personality.

Demy expressed her love of fitness and how she believes her military father played a role in this active lifestyle of hers. “My dad, every weekend, I think it was just a military sort of lifestyle, he was like, ‘Okay, we’re waking up.

We’re gonna go play tennis, we’re gonna work out.’ And I was like, ‘No, I wanna go outside and play. He said, ‘Nope, wake up early, do your sit-ups.’ And I was like, ‘Sit-ups?? I’m not in the military!’” Laughs erupted from all four of us.

Once again, Demy explained a shifted perspective of what seemed like a lessthan-perfect situation. “I also appreciated that it helped me instill the discipline that I needed to take me through school. I have a degree in public health, and I work with the American Cancer Society. My heart is really helping people in the community, especially underserved communities, people that need us.” Demy has worked for the American Cancer Society (ACS) since 2003 with patient programs and expresses that walking alongside Mike throughout his cancer journey opened her eyes to the necessity of support for the families of cancer patients.

Demy stopped herself and lightheartedly refocused. “But before I get into that, more about me!”

From participating in fitness competitions to powerlifting regularly, Demy has tried every form of fitness she can get her hands on, especially in the season of Mike going through cancer treatment. During that time, working out had become her outlet. Over the years, Demy has found that balance in her lifestyle was most important for her. While she is still in love with fitness and works out just about every day, she also sees the value in viewing life with less rigidity.

“I think it all should have a balance. I’m like, ‘I want to eat my birthday cake!’”

Mike hopped back into the conversation to share how fitness is a major connection point for them both. “We strength train together.

When I came out of cancer, I had lost 75 pounds. I couldn’t do anything. I mean my body just wasted away ‘cause I was on a feeding tube for months.”

Mike continued to talk about how he got reintegrated into the world of working out after the completion of his cancer treatment.

“When she was really training religiously, we met a guy named Chase and we took some of his HIIT classes and stuff like that. And I didn’t realize he went to church here.” Mike says as he gestured to the building we were sitting inside of. “It was like one of my first or second Sundays back. I felt terrible. I just didn’t want to really be around people and I was kind of hiding out in the front, waiting for her to come out. And he came up to me because I was really public with my cancer journey, through Facebook. And he said, ‘Hey, great to see you. I’ve worked with people who have had cancer before. If you wanna come to the gym, I believe I can help you.’ So, long story short, I thought, ‘No way, I’m not gonna do that.’ But, thankfully, I did. And that’s kind of how it started; he rebuilt my body.” Mike later transitioned to his trainer, Carl, who has continued to help him improved over the past couple of years.

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Now, Mike and Demy spend their lunches together powerlifting every Tuesday and Friday. Demy adds the side note that when Mike was undergoing treatment and lost all that weight, he couldn’t even lift five to ten pounds. Today, Mike has rebuilt his strength to be able to lift 450 pounds.

The couple met in April of 2012, five years before Mike’s cancer journey began, at a mock trial in San Diego where Mike was standing in for his friend as the prosecutor and Demy was a mock juror. She was sitting in front of Mike in the midst of fifty to seventy-five people, and Mike recalled that day like it was yesterday.

“I’ll never forget what she was wearing. She had a pink jacket on and the funniest thing is she was freezing. We laugh about this now because back then I tended to run kind of warm. So I told the guy, ‘Man, I’m gonna get warm. Can you turn the AC down?’ He’s like, ‘I gotcha, I gotcha.’ And the whole time she was freezing.”

Demy interjects, “It was like a freezer, Sammy!”

The next day, Demy arrived with long, thick socks, Mike stated it was like she was ready for a flash dance in the eighties. And while they weren’t supposed to talk, Mike explained that they kind of bumped into each other going up and down the stairs.

“You were stalking me.” Demy said matter of factly.

“I was stalking you.” Mike responded. “Well, she’s so beautiful! I just, you know, you meet her, you notice her, right? And she was so warm and friendly, but it kind of changed when she went behind the two-way mirror and we were listening to them (all the jurors giving feedback on the trial).

Of course, I found her room. She just annihilated my case!

She hated every argument that I made and said my client’s case was terrible. And the first thing she debated was, and you tell me how you’d take this…” he directed toward us, as he led into Demy’s big question from 11 years ago, “...Were those guys actually attorneys or are they actors?”

Through the hard-to-hear criticism, Mike took a leap of faith post-mock trial, introduced himself to Demy, and ended up getting her business card. This was out of the norm behavior for Mike, but he said he without a doubt felt the hand of God giving him a nudge and telling him that this was it. He wasn’t sure what “it” was, but he knew he needed to talk to her.

The two began emailing back and forth as Mike was living in LA and Demy in San Diego. After a few dinner dates and a Father’s Day weekend together with Mike’s daughter, Brianna, just a few exits from where they live now, they decided to give it a shot.

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Mike and Demy got married a mere seven months after they met, on November 5th of 2012, but due to not wanting to move Brianna out of her school at the age of fourteen, Mike lived in LA half of the time, alternating to come be with Demy, and eventually Kai, a week at a time.

Mike described those first three years of back and forth, “Those beginning years were, they were rocky. We had some tough moments.

Yeah. You know, because when you get married, you’re supposed to be together all the time.”

Mike summarized with assurance, “I mean, it was worth it. We fought through it and made it happen.”

As the two processed through that season in front of our eyes, Demy expressed that knowing that situation wasn’t going to be permanent was half of the hope that she was holding on to in that season. The other half was the fact that, in those first few years, she still had some independence that she may not have had if they had lived together 24/7 at the time. She explained that it was a season that helped her transition into married life living with each other all the time. Once Mike moved full-time to San Diego, though, there was an adjustment period.

Demy reminisced on when she discovered the confidence she had that Mike was the one for her. “When we met, I had kissed a lot of frogs, and finally met my prince, you know?”

Mike added, “Honestly, we met when God wanted us to meet.” Demy nodded in agreement, and Mike continued, “I think that’s what really helped us connect so quickly, and we knew it was different.”

We asked the two what attributes in the other balance them out, and Mike took the first step in explaining.

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“The elephant in the room is the cancer.”

Mike was diagnosed with stage IV​​ Oropharyngeal Cancer caused by HPV in August of 2017. He underwent surgery in September of the same year, and then had chemo and radiation treatment every day from October to December. He found out he was in remission in March of the following year, and just this past December, on the 6th, Mike switched from remission to cured.

“I don’t think you can fairly tell our story without talking about that. It’s interesting, that was halfway through our marriage. We’ve been married a little over 10 years, you know, last year. And that diagnosis was the fifth year we’d been together. And it was really interesting because it was kind of a course correction for us. We were kind of fighting around that time and starting to have some issues. There wasn’t anything huge, but we definitely were not connecting.”

He walked us through the different situations that were interrupting a spirit of unity in their life together, and eventually summarized, “It was just life, you know? Then you get that call and you have cancer and it just changed everything.”

While he’ll never say he was thankful he had cancer, Mike expressed that he is thankful that he had that challenge in his life that God intervened in to meet him in that moment.

With emotion in his voice, Mike let us into that process for him and the realizations that came along the way. “He [God] helped me see the things I needed to change and become the man that he intended for me to be. And seeing Demy, really, for the first time. Because when you go through chemo and radiation and you don’t know if you’re going to live-” Mike took a breath and acknowledged that telling his story, while he shares it all the time, felt harder than normal, having Demy sitting next to him and recounting that time of his life.

He picked up where he left off,

“The chemo and the radiation is going through you and it’s killing you to make you better, which is irony. So your body is going through the active process of dying and you see it.

And it took me so low, because I had stage four cancer and it had spread to my lymph nodes.

When I got out of the hospital, it was right around the lowest moment and you have that chance to go light or dark, you know?”

Mike chose light.

“No matter how terrible I felt, no matter how bad, I just could not envision ever feeling good and how my life was going to look like, but I had life. And I had that chance. So, I thought, ‘Well, I’m going to do everything I can to make it happen.’”

Mike recalled a time when his cancer brought him to a level of love and care for Demy he hadn’t experienced before. “I remember Demy came home, I fell on my knees. I cried and I hugged her. I said, ‘I’m so sorry. There’s times where I didn’t really see. Because you’ve always been there, and I knew I loved you. I knew you were the answer to my prayer, but I never saw you in the way that I needed to see you. And I promise you, for the rest of your life, I’m going to make sure that every day you know I do see you, I do love you, and I do appreciate the answer you’ve been to so many prayers in my life.’”

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He sums it up with gratitude, “Seeing her there with me through all of that and the way I think we both changed, the appreciation that came out of that journey, I never would have found.

There’s no way that I could have found this on my own. That’s the part I’m gonna talk about when I say I’m thankful that God intervened in that challenge, because without that challenge, I know I wouldn’t have had this appreciation, this beautiful appreciation I have every single day that I wake up and I see her, I see him,” Mike gestured across the room to Kai. “It was through that journey where I really realized just how amazing she is and what she means to me.”

Demy brought her perspective into the conversation, “Just to piggyback off of all of that, Mike has always been that person to do whatever it takes to be there for his family, and it really shows through his work ethic.

There’s only a handful of people I would say, I could count on my hands, that are the hardest working people I know. Day in, day out, whether it be being there for their family, reflecting that in their day job, and Mike is one of those.”

She continued on to share about how Mike has been an inspiration to her in her own job.

“I feel like when I’ve seen Mike work so hard for our family and when he went through his cancer, I wanted to be a better person in my job. If someone says, ‘I have cancer,’ and I see a caregiver, I’m that much more compassionate.

Not to say it was never compassionate before, but it opened my eyes to be like, ‘Shoot, this is so hard.’”

Demy concluded her thought, “So I think that our journey and seeing how he wanted to live for Kai and Brianna and live for me, made me a stronger person.”

With Mike’s cancer journey and Demy’s career at the American Cancer Society, these two make quite the pair.

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“That’s true.” Demy said, and Mike completed the thought, “It’s one of the reasons we do the support group here at the church and things like that. It is a unique combination, isn’t it?

She brings all the resources of ACS and her Master’s of Public Health, and I bring the, ‘Okay, I’ve been there,’ kind of thing. We think it’s what God wanted us to do.”

Mike thought he would be someone who never talked about their cancer journey again once it was over, but there were definitely other plans for him. Through their cancer care group they lead at the church, leading a marriage small group, and participating in speaking engagements to share their story, the Wests have set the example of a life of service through vulnerability and care, not only the two of them, but also in the way they include Kai in all the different areas of their world.

The Wests are an inspiring example of what comes from letting go so you can hold on to what matters. Their story carries the reminder that our struggles don’t define us.

However, when viewed with the right perspective, they can mold us into a better version of who we are.

Follow Mike & Demy

Mike’s Instagram | @_mike.west_ Demy’s Instagram | @demywest America Cancer Society’s Website | www.cancer.org

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Wordless Written by Des Dare Barragan

Have you ever met a writer who didn’t have the words?

No words to write, post, or speak For what was jumbled in the mind?

Routined to using language to understand the world inside.

Now faced with only feelings, That words don’t seem to define.

Is a writer still a writer, without words to summarize?

Identity can seem so shaky, Short of the things that seemed to make thee.

Maybe the depth of these words Takes time.

Is wordless revelation still solidified?

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COMING OUT

FEATURING HALEY MONTGOMERY DALL Written by Des Dare Barragan

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“I called my friend Ben Parks, and I said, ‘Ben, I think I wanna come out in this magazine.’

He’s like, ‘Wait, what, say more!’ ‘Artistically, I think I wanna come out!’”

For the first time, Haley Montgomery introduced herself to us in her artist name, which marks a new era in her music and personal life.

“This is me coming out, as DALL,” proclaims Haley.

So to everyone reading, welcome to the party!!

But before we move over to all things Dall, let’s backtrack to the beginning of Haley’s professional music career.

Believe it or not, Haley was a competitive figure skater her entire childhood until she abruptly quit during a “hellish senior year.” She describes that God also awakened something in her for music that year. She wrote her first songs, dropped her first EP, signed with a management company, and was touring, all by her senior graduation. At the start of touring, she met her long-term band members, including her first drummer, Brian Dall, who later became her husband. Haley spent a lot of time in Nashville, and she became a primary worship leader at a popular mega-church in the city (San Diego). In time, events led her and Brian to leave that church, and Haley thought she’d never lead worship or write music again.

Haley found healing in therapy and the support of new artistic and spiritual communities, “My circle with music really began to grow around that time ‘cause I’d kinda given up on entertaining this one-way streak relationship with Nashville, and I was really embracing being a west coast artist and not trying to fit into the Nashville scene anymore.”

Cue the dawn of her most recent full-length album, Confessions.

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“Confessions changed my life. It changed so much about my theology, my views on God, and my views on the Christian life. It changed my relationship with what music sounded like.

My community just grew exponentially in that project. It sort of pulled me out of this very sad, lonely, isolated, ‘I’m a Christian artist trying to fit into this very narrow, tiny box,’ into this sort of just open space, collaboration, all kinds of friends, all kinds of sounds. It just brought so much freedom to my creativity. I love Confessions.”

As the Confessions project refreshed her community, Haley was met with the cluster of feeling like she was sitting on her best work but had no standing in the industry.

The impression of always being in the wrong place at the wrong time hung over Haley her entire career, and the industry’s response to Confessions drove that lie even further. She recalls, “One label exec said to me that the content was way too sacred for the secular market, and it sounded way too secular for the sacred market.” Haley made something that the industry didn’t know how to sell, but that couldn’t stop the album’s purpose. Confessions took off through other creative mediums, including a documentary, a devotional book, a study, and a re-imagined album. Productions, she quickly admits, she could never and would never have done alone.

Haley describes the initial album, her internal conflicts, and what seemed like the lack of intervention from God as “the deepest disappointment I think I’d ever felt, and the only thing that I knew to do next was reach for a hand. God, just being who God is, had people plotted already all around me to receive my hand and listen to what was important to me and affirm that it was all good. And I think, more importantly, reminded me that I’m not my work.” The kindness of God met Haley in people who believed in her and what she was doing, now she seeks to extend that gift to others.

“When I see other people living in that isolation or that echo chamber of self. When I see it now, I’m just compelled and full of compassion, and I just want to reach for anyone that I can see that in. I never want to create alone again, ever.”

The guidelines she experienced in the Christian church and Nashville music industry formed Haley’s context for what she imagined music could be and how she could create it. She did what was asked of her for a long time, confessing that it felt good to hit the mark, but the appeal lost its taste, and Haley longed for something she had yet to see or experience. “Here I am now at 33, and kinda for the first time, I feel like there’s no real specific parameters around the question, ‘Haley, what do you wanna make, what do you wanna create? If control and achieving a specific thing is no longer sittin’ in that number one spot, a different question comes up, ‘what do you want?’” The laborious process of facing what’s within to claim what you want was the first indication of Haley’s transition into the name DALL.

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After 11 years of life with just her husband, Haley explains, “I didn’t want to be a mom.

Even as a kid, I could remember feeling a pretty significant disconnect from other kids playing house, or with barbies, or babysitting.”

At age 20, she and Brian nearly broke up because she couldn’t believe that a man who loved God could love a woman like her who didn’t want children. This belief was formed in shame after years of being told that it was God’s will for all Christian women to procreate. The continuance of her relationship with Brian defied that stereotype and declared that it is okay to be a Christian woman who does not feel called to be a parent. After years of working on accepting that truth, the news of her pregnancy was overwhelming, and Haley and Brian chose to keep that time for themselves and God. Haley recalls, “A dear friend, very early on, gave me permission to take the whole pregnancy to just grieve and to unburden me from the pressure to be excited.”

Being away from the projections and questions of people was the safest way for Haley to process the months and anxiety leading up to the birth of her daughter, Parker-Lou. “I was in prayer, and I was crying, and I was just like ‘God, what is it that you say to me right now, and then I’m just gonna say it to her because I don’t have my own words.’ I just heard God say to me, ‘I love you, and I want you.’ So those are the first words I said to her,” remembers Haley. Since then, Haley has added, “I like you,” and God continues giving her all she needs to connect each phrase with sincerity.

The name DALL emerges from seasons thick with confronting depression, disappointment, and yielding control. The will to live, let alone create, collided with the funk that Covid brought on and the complexity of a surprise pregnancy. Haley shares that in that darkness, she tried to be done with music and had a routine of imagining burying herself in her backyard and praying to God that she would die there. But every time she opened her eyes (in real life), she would envision herself standing straight up, and the hole she dug for herself would be covered. That scene was on replay for a long time untila revelation clicked for Haley. A place meant to end in death incrementally became a refuge for her to grieve and let hope trickle in. Three years later, Haley testifies, “There is a will to live, there’s a will to create, there’s a will and a desire to discover beautiful things again. I can’t imagine that would have come any other way than that metaphorical death.”

That metaphorical catalyzed her new era.

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One of her favorite things to challenge herself with is the question of, “If I were honest…?”

It’s up to you to fill in the blank from there.

In the words of DALL, “How true it is when we extend that permission to each other, we’re helping guide each other to the truth, and it is something that has to be provoked.

That’s another reason why we need each other.

Freedom is found in the truth.”

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Follow DALL & her creative projects

DALL’s Instagram | @what.a.dall DALL’s Website | www.whatadall.com (coming soon!)

Haley Montgomery’s Instagram | @haleymontgomerymusic Haley Montgomery’s Website | www.haleymontgomery.com The Table’s Instagram | @thetableartsociety The Table’s Website | www.thetableartists.com

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LIVING THE DREAM FEATURING LUKA KORYNTA Written by Des Dare Barragan

Bright red hair, a button-up, and cuffed jeans met with fun yellow socks peeking out of his high top boots; Luka Korynta met us in an outfit marked by the trends of the places he’s been. Like his attire, there was a natural flow to Luka’s persona. Gentle kindness entwined with a European pace that kept the conversation going but was never overbearing.

He spoke with genuine friendliness.

Luka’s story begins in Prague, Czech Republic, where he was born and eventually employed as a sports journalist. He landed this job on a whim: “I was watching basketball a lot, and at that time, there was a Czech player drafted to [the] NBA, but no one was covering it. I just emailed the two biggest newspapers in the country, and I said, ‘Hey, no one’s doing it, and I literally stayed up to watch the draft; I can write about it if you want.’” Luka got a response, and one of the newspapers was searching for a writer to do a weekly basketball column. The newspaper offered to train Luka and give him a shot! Within that same year, the newspaper became short-staffed and coached Luka in an editing role. He gradually moved on to regular assignments traveling to New York and covering stories on teams like the Knicks and Rangers. Luka’s bold nature initiated a series of opportunities that led him to a new country and, eventually, a new profession.

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At the rise of the Instagram era in 2012, Luka was walking around New York City casually taking photos on his iPhone 5 and Fujifilm X100 camera. He recounts that it was then that he began learning photography by simply taking street photos and posting them on Instagram. “I got featured by Instagram, which, back in the day, you got like 3,000 followers in the first two hours. It was a big deal. I was like, ‘Okay, I guess I’m famous now, so I’m going to keep posting these street photos!’” About a year later, Luka landed his first wedding gig, “I brought just [a] 16 GB card and one battery and the camera died halfway through! I had to plug it in during the reception! That first wedding was definitely eye-opening because I was like, ‘hey, things are already beautiful, and I could just document it like I did with the streets of New York.’” Luka fell in love with capturing the moments and people that already exist, and after a year of shooting for friends, he pursued a full-time career as a wedding photographer.

Luka launched his photo business back in Prague and quickly grew in popularity as there were few wedding photographers in his homeland of 11 million. His business flowed with the trends of social media and wedding culture, as clients desired more untraditional locations or DIY designs and wanted their most memorable moments captured for that Instagram post. “It really helped that the boom of weddings and social media was happening the same time that I decided to go full-time,” says Luka. He was in the right place at the right time.

Luka journeyed from happenstance New York street pics to amateur wedding shots edited on VSCO desktop presets, a year booked with 35 weddings, speaking engagements in Spain, and being a low-key European wedding influencer!

“I don’t know why I moved here because I lived in the Czech Republic, which doesn’t even have Euro currency, and I was able to drive to Switzerland and get paid five times as much as I would get paid at home and bring that money back home. It was quite a nice era, then I moved here and became broke again!”

We feel you, Luka!

Luka moved to the lush greenery of Portland, Oregon in 2018 to expand his career in the states. Within the first weeks of moving, Luka navigated significant life experiences, including American immigration and the complex process of obtaining a visa, the cultural shift from the walkable cities of Prague to the widespread cities of America, seeing the shocking rates and neglect of homelessness in the states, meeting his wife, and gaining knowledge that would reshape his family history.

“I also found out I was adopted the day when I moved here, not that someone planned to tell me, but it just landed in my inbox from a biological family [member]. My mom is still my mom, but my dad adopted me. That’s been a process, too, to kind of deal with that from [a] distance while trying to figure out how to live in America and move my business that is well established over there and start fresh here.

All the while getting to know my future wife.”

With humility and resilience, Luka moved the focus from his life tribulations to the accomplishments he never imagined achieving.

“I don’t have a crazy story like other people who leave war and then somehow figure out their life, but it is kind of wild to think about sometimes. I always have a fear of going back [to Prague], and it’s going to feel like this was all just a dream.”

At age 31, his dreams continue to unfold in reality as Luka, Grace, and their dog Jesse made a move from Portland to San Diego (three months ago). San Diego had become a haven that Luka & Grace often visited during the first year of Covid, and they fell in love with our city’s accessibility, relaxed lifestyle, and diversity. Luka tells us that it’s not just the diversity in people but the local flora and animal life that pulls him in. He described San Diego as having the “right amount of interesting people doing interesting things with their life without them being too big, overwhelming, or just competitive.”

The effects of Covid led Luka’s family to San Diego and steered his work closer to documentary-style photography. He explained how this shift took place at his sister-in-law’s micro wedding. Reduced to a few family members and his personal camera, there was no pressure, and Luka simply took photos. He captured something different, something that felt personal, and he wasn’t the only one doing this. A pandemic that mandated isolation, and either canceled or limited gatherings, also inspired the next transition in the wedding industry. Couples and photographers gravitated towards documenting versus curating memories, which is precisely what Luka found himself achieving at his sister-inlaw’s wedding.

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“I must give [a] shout-out to Grace, my wife, actually. When we met, I was not really this kind of photographer, this style, but the photos she took were always like that.”

Luka tells us that Grace would capture photos of clouds to remember what a day looked like, and she’s taught him how the little details add to memories and can trigger quickly forgotten memories. This is a practice he’s added to his work, whether it’s capturing photos of the sky on a couple’s wedding day, empty plates after the reception dinner, or guests sitting at the table. Things that may not have been visually pleasing to him in the past have become staples in making his work beautiful and personal.

“I definitely got really close to burnout so many times because you do weddings, even though it’s a different couple, a different place, it can become quite repetitive unless your approach is kind of fresh, so like adding film and trying to be more documentary than having this set of poses in your head.” By stepping out of the ritual of doing things, Luka seeks ways to yield to the present raw moments of whatever environment he is in.

We asked Luka for anything he’d like to leave our readers with, and with his all-time favorite movie La La Land in mind, he responded, “I would never really settle anymore for a place that I’m not happy at. If there’s a way to make your dream life happen, then life’s too short to not at least try. Life is complicated; people need to be close to family, money is obviously a problem, and jobs and stuff, but if there’s a way to figure something out, then I probably would like to inspire people to do that too instead of just dream about it your whole life.

You need to sacrifice something, but you also gain whatever you always wanted, and that might be worth it.”

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Follow Luka

Luka’s Instagram | @lukaskorynta Luka’s Website | www.lukaskorynta.com

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COMMON STRANGERS FEATURING KATHERINE PETERSON Written by Des Dare Barragan

“I am Katherine, but you can call me Katy.”

We met Katy in her cozy La Mesa home which was dressed in eclectic wall decor, blanketed couches, and Christmas trinkets from the month before. Our time together began with a photo shoot of her acting out the routine habits that maintain her mental health from day to day. Katy’s decision to capture these activities for the mag was so telling of who she is and what’s most important to her. After exchanging a few rounds of “cool cool cools”, we dove into her story.

Katy was born in Houston, Texas, and lived a troubled childhood under the guardianship of her nuclear family until the age of eleven.

At that time, she moved to live with her aunt and uncle in San Diego. Katy explains that she “kinda fell out of her family” at age 16. Within time, she met a man in the military and left to build a life with him in North Carolina. Katy and her husband eventually separated, but she remained in NC for the fire service.

“I was waitressing at the time and really into the art scene, and I wanted to give back and wanted to feel like I was doing something for anybody other than myself.” So in 2019, Katy enrolled in classes as a volunteer at the local fire station and, within three weeks, was offered a spot in the city’s academy. She gladly went from a volunteer to part-time to fulltime but experienced circumstances that led her home to San Diego for a reset. “Because of my childhood, just because of the way that I’d been living my life, I didn’t really have a good foundation.” Katy kept trying to build a life from turbulence and emotion, but it just wasn’t working, and she wasn’t moving forward in the direction she needed. “I was in kind of a rough relationship; I had hit a point with the fire service where I was just taking on too much stress, too much trauma.”

“It was no longer treading water. I needed to change something drastically in order to survive.”

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Katy learned self-care tools in therapy from a young age but would only use them sporadically for instant gratification, and once the work got difficult, her commitment would taper off.

“I was tired of being in a loop; I was tired of feeling like, ‘Okay, we’re gonna do better,’ and then having these emotional breakdowns.

You can understand the way that your mind works and the way that it’s come to be what it is, but there has to be some responsibility at the end of it.” Katy often found herself in one of two relatable extremes: holding on to an identity of victimhood (not wanting to take responsibility for anything) or beating herself up and treating herself like everything was her fault. She describes how embracing the grey areas in all things has been life-altering for her, “I have complex PTSD, which tends to put you more in your flight or fight mode. Definitely makes a person more black-and-white in their thinking. The biggest theme for me over this last year is no longer thinking of things in black and white. It’s more, ‘Okay, yes, this thing happened to me, but where can I take control of the situation, take responsibility of the situation.’”

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Katy implements ownership of her mental health through daily rituals that keep her in the present and root her in her most authentic self.

These include climbing, running, journaling, and an obsession with crocheting! She tells us that the physical exercise gets her endorphins going and makes her feel productive because she’s going outside and doing something good for her body. Journaling is a practice she aims to do twice a day, and it provides a safe space to process her emotions, take her thoughts out of her head, and place them somewhere visible. And then there’s crocheting, where she gets the satisfaction of putting a bunch of knots together, which end in a tangible product made by hand. Katy illustrates it this way, “A lot of understanding my identity now has been finding my way back to myself. Not Katherine at 25 or 20, but small Katherine.

Understanding her needs and why her coping mechanisms started. Like the crocheting thing, I think I started up crocheting when I was a tiny kiddo, and I never fully got into it cause it wasn’t a kid activity to be doing. So I just kind of didn’t do it anymore. Identity, it’s just been very much of a coming back to myself; Here’s what we have, so now that I know that this is what I have, where do I go with it?”

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Katherine has learned to start with the smallest thing she can and fully commit to that one step before taking the next. Her next step was building a healthy community in San Diego.

Months before leaving North Carolina, some repressed memories from Katy’s childhood surfaced. “That, coupled with dealing with traumatic things from the fire service, just got me to a point where I didn’t feel comfortable in many social interactions.” In a group of anything larger than six people, Katy would feel rejected or judged, and even though she knew she was misunderstanding those interactions, she couldn’t shake the perception.

Katy informs us that that level of mistrust is what it looks like to be processing a trauma response. “It took some leaning into myself, leaning into my family, spending time in nature to start to get my body to ramp down to where I could actually start interacting with people in a healthy way for myself.”

While it was complicated to be social, Katy did her best to remain consistent in pursuing friendship and has two local spots that are her main hubs for safe community. “Public Square is like my favorite coffee house. I probably go there maybe a little too much!

I love everyone that works there. People are just more encouraged to talk and engage.”

Katy has also found community at her gym, Mesa Rim, which she describes as “Probably the healthiest workplace I’ve ever worked in.

People will ask how you’re feeling. That’s the first question that they ask you; it’s just very good interactions. And those communities kind of overlap with each other, so a lot of the time, I will find climbers at Public Square.” The final piece of Katy’s current support system has been connecting with childhood friends, who may have taken a different path than her, but there’s a mutual understanding of where they’ve come from. Community has helped dissolve victimhood’s appeal, that is when we think we are alone in trauma. It has also helped Katy believe that she is worthy of the space she is in.

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We asked Katy for the words she would use to describe herself, and this was her response:

“I am artistic. I enjoy words a lot because I feel like it’s an amazing way to be able to communicate. Communication is very important to me.

Community’s huge to me.

Even in my darkest moments, I appreciate the connections that I get from people. I’m becoming a whole lot more family-based now. That one, I didn’t think, was necessarily a huge important factor to me, but this last year has been so healing being with my family, so that’s a huge one to me now. And athletic. Maybe a little empathy in there.”

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Check out this list of mental health resources that Katy put together just for you.

BOOKS “Widen the Window” by Elizabeth Stanley “The Body Keeps the Score” by Bessel Van Der Kolk FILM Stutz a Netflix film directed by Jonah Hill PODCAST Huberman Podcast

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BETTER TOGETHER

FEATURING JUST TRYNA MAKE FRIENDS

Written by Des Dare Barragan & Sammy Noelle

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There are moments in life when you come in contact with people who are unknowingly creating towards the same purpose that you are, and you’re just taken aback by how well your aspirations fit together.

We experienced an in-awe moment like this, when Julie Roland of Just Tryna Make Friends (JTMF), reached out about their upcoming event.

JTMF is a 501c3 nonprofit and initiative dreamt up by friends Julie Roland and Emilia Barrosse who wanted to create a space where “others would feel more comfortable introducing themselves to strangers with the intention of making friends.” With Sammy’s hopes of Visible being more than a magazine, but a community of humans, let’s just say this was totally up our alley! We couldn’t wait to learn more.

JTMF puts on free donation-based shows on an almost monthly basis, lined up with various artists in the city. Everyone from musicians to poets and magicians to comedians has a place on the stage. Why the scheduled performances?

Art is universal, there’s no commitment, and you can simply gather and enjoy. And hey, you might even make some friends along the way!

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January’s entertainment experience was held at The Diversionary Theatre, the country’s thirdoldest LGBTQIA+ theatre, located in the heart of University Heights. Doors opened at 5 pm, and the crowd trickled into the vibrant and eclectic bar-accompanied venue, with “I’m so happy to see you” waves, and friendship-making happening out the gate. The show was hosted

by Julie and Neil Patel, and the final January lineup was made up of stand-up comedians Paige Weldon, Alan Henderson, and Orion Levine, improv by Kid Goblin, storytelling by Jesse O’Sullivan, and static art by Eric Kofman on display. Julie even interspersed some magic tricks throughout the night. The night was closed out by singer-songwriter, Cailey Garner, accompanied by her fellow music therapist, Tia Mae Frostrom, on piano and background vocals. Julie interspersed some magic tricks into the show as well.

Once the entertainment came to a close, evidence of the community-building that is Just Tryna Make Friends really came to life. People were hopping from one social circle to the next having conversations that were filled with smiles and connections that would last longer than the night.

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We would argue that friendship is built by putting into action and words what starts as just a feeling. We loved experiencing the community that JTMF has cultivated over the years, and hope these photos give you all the feels.

Be sure to make your way out to the next night of friend-making and creative showcasing in just a couple of weeks on March 4th!

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Follow Just Tryna Make Friends

JTMF’s Instagram | @jtmfshow JTMF’s Website | www.jtmf.org

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We see you, we value you, we thank you It’s because of humans like you that Visible & its mission to rehumanize San Diego have become a reality. We hope you enjoy your Mag! Don’t forget to use your voice to make others VISIBLE.

FIND MORE VISIBLE INFORMATION

BY SCANNING HERE

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