VI S I BL E M AGAZI N E Crea t ed by S a mmy Noe l l e P ho t o g ra ph y b y Sammy Noe l l e Wr i t t en P i eces b y Chr istophe r Ward
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Rehumanizing your city through the art of telling stories
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TABLE OF CONTENTS
Page 004 About Visible
Page 007 Heart And Soul featuring Kat Pinning Page 012 SD Sonics featuring Shua
Page 019 “North Park” by Evan Denton
Page 020 “In Mystery” by Des Dare Barragan
Page 021 To The Table featuring Eric Johnson Page 027 Trending In SD by Mita Aquino
Page 041 Part Of The Process featuring Michael Leto
Page 048 Mirrored Love featuring Brittani and Kale Pirga
Page 055 Common Strangers featuring Lincoln and Carla Reichel
Page 061 “Be Present” by Christopher Ward
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WHAT IS VISIBLE? a local based magazine intended to highlight the human beings that live, love, create, and work in the city.
WHY VISIBLE? we all crave to be seen by others, not in an unhealthy begging for attention, but rather to find real and tangible connection, where one is known deeply and fully. Visible Magazine started to rehumanize a city, to breathe life back into a city by shedding light on stories of the human beings we pass by every single day. WHO IS VISIBLE? a team of individuals who really love their city and really love people.
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THE VISIBLE TEAM INCLUDES
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SAMMY NOELLE // IG: @sammynoelle Creator/Photographer/Producer
CHRISTOPHER WARD // IG: @thisiscrward Writer
MITA AQUINO // IG: @aquinomita Stylist
SABRINA ROUNDS // IG: @sabroonds Social Media/Communication
NICE TO MEET YOU AND THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT! To stay connected, follow us on Instagram @thevisiblemag and share your Visible moments with us #VisibleSD
scan here to learn more about our team
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HEART SOUL
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“I was talking to my friend before this and shared that I was kind of baffled to be doing this interview. Like, I’m not even a real human!”
Meet Kat Pinning, Real Human.
A woman with a rich voice, a quick wit, and a deep laugh, Kat currently finds herself an interior and event designer, the product of a life of resourcefulness and initiation.
“Can I just first of all say that we should get rid of the question ‘So what do you do?’” This sort of direct honesty is highly characteristic of Kat. “I’ve done all kinds of things throughout my life, and while my work is certainly part of my life, it is not the defining thing about me.”
Which is a good thing, because Kat has done an incredible number of things, all of which revolve around her self-assigned title of Creative Creator. 008
“I started out in theater, which, shout out to my theater kids! We are a different breed,” she says with a big laugh. “I fell in love with makeup in theater. It had so much power to impact the show and boost an actor’s confidence in their role. It kind of just went from there.”
“For a season I teamed up with a friend and sold jewelry on Etsy. I couldn’t find what I wanted anywhere, so I just made it myself and then sold it to others who wanted it as well. And we rolled that into like a craft fair circuit that we would go to and sell at.” And all this time, Kat says, people were acknowledging her gifts and affirming her abilities, even when she couldn’t see them.
“This whole journey and process of creating things has always been so fun for me. I love it, and what is wonderful is that I am gifted with nothing but time to do it.” Kat’s receives money from the casino her tribe owns.
“I see a lot of people kick up their feet and relax, which they are totally entitled to do. But I have to keep working and serving people with what I’m good at, and I just so happen to have all the time in the world to do it! So I just do it and try to help people, and even though my friends could see it before me, everything has slowly come together.” She smiles as she remembers when someone told her 11 years ago, 10 years before the start of her work in interior design, that she should go to interior design school.
She recalls the influence her mom had on her when she would rearrange all of their furniture on the weekends just for fun. And the moment, Kat says it all came together was when she was just helping a friend.
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“I had a roommate whom I had lived with before, and he moved back in and was in a very depressed place. His room was so bare and sad, so one day when he was off work I told him, ‘Get out. Go lay on the couch and let me do my thing!’” She rearranged his room, upgraded his furniture and decor, and made it a space that was welcoming and safe.
“He teared up and gave me what is still my favorite compliment from clients: ‘This is a space I actually want to be in and spend time in.’ If they tell me a space I have worked on has good vibes, it makes me so incredibly happy.” Her work that day was a small help to her friend on his journey with depression, and that generous helping is her heart behind every project she undertakes. Kat desires her creativity to help people, and she has a special gift of translating someone’s personality and desires into functional and beautiful spaces. That gift has been affirmed ever since that first room. “Another friend saw his room and asked if I would do theirs. And then someone they knew reached out and asked about a kitchen. It has just snowballed from there, and I haven’t had to advertise or anything yet. People just keep reaching out for me to work in their spaces.” Before she knew it, Kat was being asked to help with event theming and aesthetics.
“A little part of me dies inside when I do an event,” she says with a laugh. “I spend so much time and effort and energy on this thing, only for it to exist in the real world for four hours and then be torn down! But I still love it. I love creating memorable experiences for people.”
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Her business, 3 Feathers Designs, is firmly in the world of weddings and corporate parties while still maintaining a solid base in the personal spaces that people call home, which seems like one place Kat will always want to invest in. She is a woman who cares deeply for people and loves positively impacting their personal lives with her work. She knows what it looks like for people to suffer, with the history of suffering the Indigenous People in America endured in her memory and in her blood, and channels that to fuel compassion for the suffering of others in the present. “If I can crochet or design or knit or rearrange or paint or organize something that will make someone’s life more enjoyable, I will do it for as long as I can for as many people as I can.”
Kat’s favorite quote is from Erma Bombeck which she referenced more than once in our time together, but once you’ve seen her work or had a conversation with her, you’ll find she embodies these words with her whole life and all of her creations: “When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, ‘I used everything you gave me.’”
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FOLLOW KAT PINNING AND 3 FEATHERS DESIGNS @katpinning @3feathersdesigns
SD SONICS 1 mom, 1 dad, 5 brothers, 2 bedrooms, and still Shua Randle felt lonely.
“Don’t get me wrong. I love my family. They are amazing and so incredibly talented. But I am a broody and internally oriented person, so even with people all around me and San Diego sunshine coloring my childhood, I was lonely and wished I lived somewhere with more clouds.” The problem is, Shua seems like the exact opposite of a broody introvert. He is funny, laughs a lot, smiles and engages naturally in conversation.
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“Oh yeah, that’s like my outward way of connecting with the world, but inside things look different,” he says with a laugh.
But the longer we talk, the more difficult it is to believe that the primary definition of this man is isolated and broody. To be sure, he has dealt with some difficulties in life, like his ongoing relationship with depression, but he very naturally talks about all of the things that give his life meaning and purpose without a hint of falsehood. At the top of that list is his family.
“My wife Alexa and I met when she came to a church I was singing at, and as soon as I saw how beautiful she was I pulled the old ‘Ignore her entirely’ tactic. But I couldn’t help myself, so after two weeks I finally said hi.” Shua shares that they dated for a few months before they broke up for two years, during which time they worked at the same church on staff.
“That was an awkward time,” he summarizes. “But we ended up back together and got married and one baby later, I guess things worked out.” Another laugh. When asked about what changed between their first round of dating to the second, he quickly says, “Therapy.”
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“I didn’t know who I was, I had no idea and was unhealthy. So I did some hard work in therapy and relationships with friends that grew me. And she grew too, so when we reconnected it worked better and made sense.”
That seems to be a theme across the life and work of Shua, hard work and outward expressions of internal processes. He grew in character and put his growth into practice in his relationship with Alexa. He wrestled deeply with the racial turmoil our nation faced in 2020 and released an EP that was the product of his deep hurt and struggle. He experienced defining loneliness in his teens and now creates music that attempts to help others in similar seasons. “My music is aimed at specific people, people who are very lonely like I was in my teens. The only way I could feel connected to a wider sense of community was through music. It made me feel known when someone else sang about feeling the way I do about love, life, faith, heartbreak, race. So now I’m trying to build little bridges with piano, guitar, and my voice.”
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But for someone who claims they lived much of their life focused on themselves, this desire to connect with and help others is a bit counterintuitive. Shua recalls the moment he knew his gifts were meant for others.
“I was at one of those camps you go to when your parents are religious and want to get rid of you for five days,” The heavy sarcasm in his voice is paired with a sly smile, “There was this night I had a crazy spiritual encounter with God where I walked away feeling so completely loved. That experience showed me a couple of things. It affirmed that I have a gift with my voice and I could use that to help other people. It also took my eyes off of myself and onto other people. And I just wanted to help other people experience a deep sense of love as people who are made by God to be loved.”
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So he went through seasons of couch surfing, busking in downtown San Diego, creating songs that he says “will never see the light of day,” and finding his voice. Shua believes that everyone has a song, and for him there is almost always a song or melody playing in his mind, at least until he records it on his phone or writes it down to get it out of his head and work on later. But he recognizes that one specific song, the song of faith, has been an integral part of his story and art. “So many people don’t know that God loves them. They’re distracted by so many other things about Christianity or life or bad examples or whatever. And at its heart, this life is about being loved, by God specifically.”
It is clear that some of this love has penetrated Shua’s loneliness and isolation. The way he speaks so highly of Alexa and gushes over his son, Moses, is evidence of an individual who has grown out of a place of isolation, into a place, maybe not of perfection, but of enough strength and confidence to look at others and tell them how loved they are. That they are seen and heard and known by at least one man who has had his eyes opened a bit.
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Profound spiritual experiences. Marriage and fatherhood. Trips around the country. Experiences of hope in the midst of heartbreak. These have given Shua the texture and depth that emanate from his ethereal-feeling, beat-driven, lyric-rich songs. And even more, this life he has lived has given Shua the perspective to love the San Diego sunshine, prioritize the most important relationships in his life, create art that serves others, and laugh not simply as a defense mechanism, but because he has laughter in the depths of his soul, even if it is still sometimes mingled with sorrow. When asked about the future, Shua says he’s never lived anywhere other than San Diego and doesn’t know that he ever will. He’s enjoying working with his wife more, performing more, and getting creative work done with some friends, so he hopes that continues. But when asked about what he’s specifically looking forward to in the next year, he smiles and says: “My son will start crawling soon. That’s gonna be awesome.” 017
FOLLOW SHUA @shuatheshua
“North Park” An Illustration by Evan Denton 019
“In Mystery”
A poem by Des Dare Barragan
I used to love reading mysteries. Something to solve, always something to see
I remember Nancy Drew could gather clues in hidden things Yet for me, it’s not so easy
Lines blur between who I was who they say And who I think I want to be
When will I find the clues written just for me?
Are they hanging on the mantle of life’s highest moments? Or stored in the let downs, I leave unspoken Will clues appear in tears poured out in pain? Or maybe they live in graves where I let fear remain
Can I capture these clues in the smiling eyes of a loved one? Or maybe...they’re waiting on affirming words from a great someone I’ve searched these places high and low Yet the answers I still do not know But maybe it’s okay that I don’t.
Maybe mystery is for the sake of one’s being A wilderness, that sparks hope beyond seeing
A state that reminds me that your presence can be found here too Hah! I’m starting to feel a little like Nancy Drew
Seeing you now, is my start to believing truth.
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TOtheTABLE
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Without an entrepreneurial mindset, it might be easy to assume that any business owner is only interested in profits, making money and being their own boss.
A quick glance into Trident Coffee might change your mind.
If you walk along Orange Ave, the main drag on Coronado island, you’ll inevitably pass in front of a simple and inviting storefront, where you may see what looks like beer taps on the back wall. Step inside, however, and you are transported into a submarine, taproom, and coffee shop all at once. At least, that is the goal of Eric Johnson, the founder of Trident Coffee.
Everything Eric does has a purpose. From the naming of his roasts to the logos that encapsulate them, his product and process are rich with meaning.
“I want to connect with people, and for people to connect with each other. I want you to come to Trident and choose the Hawaiian blend because one of your favorite memories (like mine) was made on one of the Hawaiian Islands. I want you to relive that and enjoy your day that much more because we connected with you and encouraged you to have a better day.”
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Eric was born and raised in San Diego, California where he attended La Jolla Country Day High School. He had a grandfather in the Marine Corp, another grandfather in the Navy, and both of his parents were lifeguards on the beaches of San Diego. With such incredible examples of service and tangible sacrifice on behalf of others, it comes as no surprise that Eric enlisted into the Navy. “I was in the military from 2008-2016. I served on tours in Israel, Iraq, and Afghanistan, and I served with all of my heart. One of the unlikely things I discovered in the military, however, was the bridge that could be built between people with coffee.”
Eric recalls a time when he sat down in a village with a Colonel in the Iraqi Forces. Initially, the bond between them was purely practical, as Eric and the U.S. Military were working alongside this Colonel and his troops. But when the traditional çay (chai) tea was introduced to the setting, the Colonel became more personable and talkative. “He said, ‘I fought against you and the United States in the Gulf War and in 2003. Now, I am fighting with you against ISIS.’ And the whole dynamic changed. We were not just functionally working together, but personally connected and invested.” 023
And the catalyst to that new relationship, in Eric’s perception, was a shared beverage.
“It just so happened that I had also started experimenting and perfecting my cold brew coffee,” Eric recalls. “I loved it and wanted to get better at it, so I was trying to get it just right. After I had gotten it right I became an officer, and you wouldn’t believe how helpful it was to have something to bridge the gap between me, an officer, and those who reported to me.” Eric speaks of the sailors who would get some of their favorite coffee shipped to them on duty and bring it to him to brew. “I would make them work with me to brew it. But then, since it took time, they would have to return and continue whatever conversation we were having as we sampled the finished product.”
Only a few minutes with Eric as he listens intently and looks you in the eye gives you a picture of the depth of his care for people. From brewing coffee in order to connect with his direct reports, to the honor he bestows upon military figures in the
naming and designing of his roasts, it is clear how intentional he is to make people feel valued and cared for. That love of people also factors greatly into his vision and business model for Trident.
“I love cold brew coffee and realized there weren’t many places in San Diego that gave excellent options for that. But I also recognized that I didn’t like how disconnected people can be in coffee shops. I love the atmosphere in breweries, where people are talking and laughing and enjoying each other’s company. I wanted to capture that, so our Imperial Beach location provides ample space to interact and share memories, whereas our Coronado location is more of a taproom where you can take your time, sample brews, and sit outside in the San Diego sunshine together.” This deep-rooted care for people is reflected in Trident Coffee’s three core values, which have less to do with business ideology and increased profits and far more to do with people and humans: Connection. Community. Character.
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“Everything we do, every new roast and every new product, every piece of decor in our shops and every item for sale, is run through the criteria of connection, community, and character. If it doesn’t serve to further the Trident influence on those three things, we won’t do it.” Everything in Trident’s two locations supports those values, and it is no stretch of the imagination to envision the newest location in Pacific Beach (opening in summer of 2022) fulfilling that as well. 025
But what is more, this business is driven by a human, Eric Johnson: lover of humans, advocate of healthy lifestyles, servant of his country, intense supporter of others, passionate storyteller, and successful entreprenuer. There is nothing flippant about Trident Coffee, which reflects the intentionality with which its founder lives his life. Spend an afternoon in Coronado with a Trident cold brew in your hand. Ask the barista for an explanation of some random item in the shop and be impressed with the purpose and story behind even the smallest detail. Learn to live with deeper meaning and a big picture mentality. All that from some delicious cold brew coffee and sunshine in Coronado. This city is amazing.
FOLLOW ERIC AND TRIDENT COFFEE @ craft_your_legacy @tridentcoffee
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TRENDING
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BY M I TA AQ U I N O
f e a t u r i n g Ab i g a i l A p o l o n i o a n d S e r e n a Jo h n s o n
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THE WHY a forward by Mita Aquino
One of San Diego’s greatest features is the fact that every nook and cranny, pocket, and neighborhood offers a unique experience to all. And the longer you explore this city, the more you begin to see how rich in culture it is.
WELCOME TO
North Park
Stop halfway and explore a little inland and you’ll come across North Park! Search this neighborhood and what will come up are trendy coffee shops, chill bars, and COLOR. By color, I mean when you walk the streets of North Park, you’ll see a variety of murals and walls painted by local artists. Definitely one of North Park’s best features. As I thought through a variety of ways to style models for this neighborhood, I decided it would be fitting to pair North Park’s chromatic walls with monochromatic looks! What better way to showcase the multitude of colors on buildings and street corners with styles centered around one color in different shades.
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Abigail
Look One
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Abigail already owned a sick pair of Nike Blazer Mids with green accents, so gaining inspiration from those, I went with a blue monochromatic look for her first. Top: Recycled Fibers Go All Out Cardigan | Pants: Olympia Pants from Princess Polly Shoes: Nike Blazer Mid ‘77 | Accessories: Indi Sunglasses from Princess Polly
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Serena
Look One
Serena truly shines in bright colors, which meant I absolutely had to put her in an orange monochromatic look first. Top: Recycled Fibers Mock Neck Sweater Pants: Lucy & Yak Shoes: Nike Air Force 1 Sage Low
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Abigail
Look Two
Then for her next one, a green monochromatic look. Top: Cindi Cardigan Pants: Ripley Pants from Princess Polly Shoes: Doc Marten Chelsea Boots
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Serena
Look Two
I styled her second look using a more earth tone palette with greens and browns.
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Top: Shein Pants: Cider Shoes: Emmshu by Coolway Accessories: Biggy
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Both of the models’ final looks were inspired and styled around pieces from The SDN. Brand
Abigail
Look Three
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Serena Look Three
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PART Of The PROCESS
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Mixer, Songwriter, Producer, Recorder, and Multi-Instrumentalist.
Where do you start when your job description is five titles long? For Michael Leto, you start by eliminating the wrong pieces.
“I had the title ‘Composer’ on my website too, but that’s so hoity-toity. And don’t even get me started on the word ‘Artist.’” Well, we had to get him started.
“I’ve worked in enough studios and seen enough shitty rappers and musicians that I can’t use the term ‘Artist’ for most people. There are gifted people out there, but ‘Artist’ doesn’t cover what they do, and everyone else certainly doesn’t deserve the title.”
But far from being judgmental or egotistical, Michael primarily dislikes those titles for himself, and for entirely different reasons.
“In college, I was more interested in the back end work of making music, but the only major available to me was composition. Thankfully Commercial Music was added as a major, so I took that alongside composition and went into the world of audio, writing, and producing. I discovered a love for helping other people create their own music and found I preferred being behind the scenes instead of in front of a microphone. I’m just not interested in all of the self-promotion that comes along with being an up-front performer.” 042
So we have a framework in place to understand what Michael does NOT do or want to do, but how about what he loves and spends his time doing? That’s where his five titles come into play.
This is how Michael breaks down what he does:
Mixer - This is taking all of the sounds that are recorded, putting them together and creating a song. Songwriter - This is someone who writes songs. Producer - This is like the director for a movie when they are on set. They are coaching, giving advice, asking for something else, and getting all of the sounds they need for a song to be put together. Recorder - Making sure all of the sounds are captured with high quality. Multi-Instrumentalist - One who plays a lot of instruments.
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Michael has accumulated all of these skills over time, with his growth catalyzed initially by his dad during his childhood in Rancho Bernardo.
“My dad played bass at our church growing up and he just had so much fun doing it, it was so natural to want to do it too.” He started playing drums for his youth group, where his style as a musician (and, unbeknownst to him, as a Mixer, Songwriter, Producer, and Recorder) was also influenced by his dad, whose favorite band was Steely Dan. It quickly became Michael’s as well.
“I’m an avid fan of Steely Dan. Their songs are so full of musical complexity, and the mixing on their music is still the gold standard. If you want to know the quality of your speakers, you turn up the volume and listen to their stuff.”
With his musical education kick-started, Michael began discovering his own preferences and stylistic influences, including admiration for Justin Bieber, Julia Michaels, and Jon Bellion. A commitment to his craft has proven extremely important, for while some people can be naturally gifted in other pursuits, Michael’s phonetic craft has demanded work. “It truly is a learned skill, especially mixing. It takes so much time and work to train your ears, and I’m still learning, always learning. I have to stay on my toes and refuse to get stagnant or comfortable.”
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And though he has remained an attentive student of music over the years, there is a time that he has actively avoided stowing away in his catalog of influence: early 2000’s pop. “Pop in the 2000s-2010s was just a trashcan of recycled ideas, which is unfortunate because I’m a huge top 40 fan. But that scene has changed! Pop now is so intentional and creative and diverse. Electric guitar is back in a big way. Harry Styles went from a pop icon to a monster retro musician. MGK is killing the pop-punk game. It’s awesome!” You can’t help but smile when you see someone get animated over their passion, and this moment was no exception. Michael is a creative individual with the work ethic to turn a desire into a passion, a passion into a career, and a career into excellence. His individual history and preference give his body of work some hallmark touches like unique rhythmic nuance and walls of sound that are beautiful Frankenstein-esque monsters of sound and soul.
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“Friends?” which Michael co-wrote with one of his creative partners Crystal Bozarth (who also serves as the principal performer on the track) features some of his go-to musicians and preferred stylistic choices. Each listen through the song gives you an opportunity to notice something new that Michael has snuck onto the track to coalesce and create a full-bodied and fun sound On his upcoming release “Rent Free” from Natalie Barth, his mix of ethereal synths quickly gives way to chunky, in-your-face electric guitar that, rather than growing until it blows you out of your chair, evokes layers of sounds until the synths are reintroduced. Before long, they are both working together to make you want to dance even though it’s a song about a breakup. But isn’t the music industry about fame and fortune? Shouldn’t it be Michael’s greatest ambition to be centerstage performing for millions of screaming admirers? Well, no.
“I like where I am. I get tons of time alone and all the creative control I could want while I sit in front of a computer working with sound. Then I get to choose when I see people and who I see. Sure, I’d love to be an Award-Winning Mixer, Songwriter, and Occasional Producer, in that order. But more than that, I want to one day marry my girlfriend, have kids, and have a life outside of the ego-driven life of an ‘Artist.’ I like helping other people, and I find joy in being an important part of the process and creative team. I don’t want to be out front.” Then he smirks and says, “Mostly because I can’t sing.” Check out Michael’s website where you can find his full discography and listen to his talent on a variety of tracks and genres. It’s always nice to have a friend in town, so if something in his work strikes you or makes you smile, take a second to reach out and tell him. The hidden members of our favorite musical acts deserve some love too, and while Michael’s work is already exceptional, it’s only going to get better with time. Once you’ve heard it, Michael Leto is a name you’ll want to remember. 046
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FOLLOW MICHAEL LETO @michael_leto
MIRRORED LOVE
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Kale and Brittani Pirga met us at The Rancho Bernardo Inn to share a glimpse into their love for one another, which was evident even as they approached holding hands. Their conversation with one another was natural, their smiles were true, and their affection was generous as they answered questions and reflected on the love that, though it began unexpectedly, they have nurtured with intentionality and care. Through not only the challenges that marriage can bring but also those that can come when you run a business alongside your partner, Kale (pronounced Kah-lei) and Brittani have built their love on shared values and grown in healthy communication so that their life together continues to become stronger. Visible: How did you two meet?
Kale: We met in 2016. I was born and raised in Hawaii, graduated high school in 2008, moved to Santa Cruz for college, and graduated in 2012. I moved to San Diego because my mom said don’t come back to Oahu because I would be limited in my future. So I decided to move to San Diego and worked on the corporate side of things for a gym here in San Diego, which is where I got connected to Brittani. I hired someone she went to high school with, and he invited me to go out for a drink one night.
Brittani: Yeah, for a long time this mutual friend and my best friend were talking and he was trying to hang out with her a lot, and he asked for my help to plan things. So I put together a little hangout at a bar to get them to hang out, and he invited Kale just to even the ratio of guys to girls. K: Yeah so Brittani and I talked and hung out that night, and I don’t even remember how I got your number…
B: Oh yeah, it was super cheesy. I didn’t think anything of it and never thought I wanted to date this guy. 049
K: You thought I was a total tool, cuz we had a mutual friend who was a tool and you found out I was a personal trainer, so that got me placed deep in the friend zone. B: Yeah that, and you were incredibly socially awkward.
*Lots of shared laughter and more reasons she was not interested, which don’t need to be put in print* K: So we started talking.
B: No, you texted me every single morning, and I was like, “We’re not dating!” It was just little, “Good morning, hope you have a great day!” texts. *Mutual swooning*
B: But I still didn’t want to date you.
K: She was in her last year at Cal State Fullerton so we just kept in touch, and then finally started dating in late 2016. We moved in together at the beginning of 2018, got engaged at the end of 2018, and then got married on a small beach in my hometown of Oahu with 18 of our people with us in 2019. V: What is your favorite trait in the other person?
B: Ok, let me figure out how to phrase this. The fact that he is determined in all aspects of life, rather than just his business or something specific. He is so determined to succeed at things that he cares about that he is willing to change and grow and become a better person to get where he wants to be. Does that make sense? *It makes perfect sense.*
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K: Well on that note, I’m only driven and want to grow because of what I admire most in Brittani, which is the patience and grace that she has had with me throughout our entire relationship. I had a lot of personal growth to go through as a man and husband and future father, and Brittani being so good to me during the tough days has been so empowering. I think she has so much grace with me because she loves me unconditionally. B: I’m sorry, I cry over everything!
*She cries. We cry. The whole restaurant cries.*
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V: How do you have your own lives and balance that with your life together?
K: We really discovered this in 2018 when we got to sit down and map out where our values lie. We spiritually align ourselves, then line up with each other, then our family, and then our work lives. Everything else follows after that. We have our own personal growth habits. For me it’s reading something for personal growth, exercising, and some other things. And then we have some connecting points like reading books together and talking about them.
B: Yeah our dynamic is interesting because we run a business together. We have our own lives and exist as individuals, but our goal is to work together and our future dreams are together. So his answer is a bit about running a business together while remaining our own people. He runs the front end and I run the back end, so we don’t spend a ton of time together, but it’s more about staying mentally focused on ourselves so we can be a healthy version of ourselves for each other. That’s important for me personally, I have to check in with myself. K: Yeah, I’m a bit more of a box checker and like to get things done, so I don’t worry about taking care of myself as much, but that can work against me.
B: And I’m not that organized and can forget things, but when I take the time to sit and think about things, I get things done and remember to take care of myself. V: How has running a business together helped your relationship?
K: It’s been good for me to give up control. I’ve had to learn to give things to Brittani and let her do things, which is awesome because she is really great at things that I’m not. It was definitely a big challenge, but I’ve gotten better about it, and now that I have it in my head that we’re partners it is really freeing. We can give each other advice and criticism and know we’re not attacking each other, but working together.
B: I have a tendency to take control, so my challenge was to recognize that Kale built this from the ground up and I needed to come in and work as a team. I am so independent and can just do things on my own, but marriage and business has been important and helpful in us becoming better partners. We’ve learned to communicate with each other in respectful and positive ways, which has been necessary in both marriage and business. K: Our communication has become so much better.
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B: Yeah, because we run a business together our communication is better than if we worked separately. We were forced to improve our communication working together, and it’s hard to learn but is so important.
K: And that always helps our alignment with our values. With great communication we can make sure we are staying connected, living out of our values, and helping each other and other people. V: What about the other person do you wish that you had more of?
B: His organization. I used to be like that but I got tired of trying to be perfect all the time and so I stopped, but there are good things about that that I wish I had held on to. K: Her ability to be present and in the moment. I can be prone towards anxiousness and I love how she can remain present with people. V: How has growing together helped you love other people better? B: That’s a great question. I’ve definitely grown in my ability to be patient with other people and have grace with them.
K: Yeah, along those same lines I’ve become more understanding. One of my favorite quotes is “Understand before being understood,” and being with Brittani has enabled me to do that. V: What is a piece of advice you’d share with a new couple?
B: To recognize the other person’s areas of growth, but to not fault them for it. It is so important to help them in areas they also want to grow in but to have grace and not beat them down for it. Give the other person the opportunity to change and help them on that path. It helps you learn and grow and builds their trust in you.
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K: Something I’ve realized recently is that I should live my life as if I am trying to win Brittani’s heart all over again. When you first start dating, you ask inquisitive questions and try to learn new things, you’re fascinated by the other person and it’s anything
but routine. It’s important to keep that mindset in the relationship as it lasts longer. You’ve got to keep the adventure alive.
V: Those were sweet and unique answers, thank you for sharing and thank you both so much for your time and for sharing your love with San Diego.
We finished our creme brulee and said goodbye. Brittani and Kale walked away as they came, hand in hand, talking quietly to each other. It was and is evident that their influence in each other’s lives will radiate outward to their family, friends, clients, and neighbors, and that will be a good thing for our city.
FOLLOW THE BRITTANI AND KALE PIRGA @brittani.pirga @thepirgas_fitness 054
COMMON STRANGERS
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For Carla and Jason Reichel, the birth of their third child and first son was as joyful and beautiful as any parent could hope for. Their daughters welcomed their baby brother with open arms and their home and hearts were filled with more gratitude than before. Little Lincoln’s first year of life was wonderful as Carla describes it, but she began noticing things that concerned her.
“He got sick in his first year like every other kid does, it was no problem. But then, around the time he turned one year he started having a harder time recovering from infections and illnesses. I knew something was wrong and took him to the doctors, where they did blood tests and discovered his white blood cell count was low. We were so anxious that he had cancer, but we quickly found out he did not.” While that was welcome news, it was only the beginning of their journey. Her son was still not well and the doctors did test after test to find out what was wrong with her son. His failure to thrive was concerning, but the doctors all seemed to be on different pages.
“He got diagnosed with so many different things, and some of them I had to push back on. They thought he had epilepsy and wanted to start him on medication, but if they did he would never come off of it. I didn’t think that was the issue so I had them run tests and sure enough, he didn’t have epilepsy. Not every situation has been like that, but when they were trying to figure out what was going on it was important that I held my ground on some issues.”
Endless IVs, feeding tubes and blood work became the norm, and still there were no definitive answers. After countless trips to doctor’s offices, specialist practices, and hospital emergency rooms, Carla discovered Shwachman-Diamond Syndrome (SDS). “I found out about this relatively new syndrome and as I looked at all of the symptoms and issues it caused, it matched so much of what Lincoln was experiencing. I brought it up to doctors who weren’t very open to exploring that route and didn’t think it was the issue, which wasn’t going to work for me.”
Carla discovered that the nation’s expert in SDS was located in Boston, so she found their email address and reached out. The doctor was quick to bring Lincoln on as a patient and worked with them to arrange for a three-day stay in Boston, during which time they met with an incredible amount of doctors and had Lincoln undergo so many tests.
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“That was a really difficult experience, but we were so supported by that doctor and staff. They arranged all of our appointments and made sure we knew what was going on, and back home we had tons of support too. Some women from our church started doing our laundry (no matter how much I protested), people brought us meals, and the church we go to helped us with our flights out there. We have been cared for so well.” It turned out that while Lincoln did not have the specific gene that indicates a clear case of SDS, the medical staff in Boston were ready to diagnose him with the disease. “They are still doing research and figuring out what this disease looks like, so they diagnosed him and included him in some research studies as well.”
While the diagnosis was a relief to Carla and Jason, the family was still in the thick of it. Lincoln’s symptoms continued and they had to find a team of doctors here in San Diego who were in agreement on the diagnosis and would work together, which they eventually found and have benefitted from immensely.
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Though the struggles continued, improvement came with the correct treatment, and the family persevered.
“We had to do isolation before the pandemic even introduced that concept to the world and Instacart was a thing. Lincoln’s sisters, Mikayla and Gabriella, continued to go to school, but they started begging me every day to homeschool them. They hated leaving their little brother at home knowing he was sick and didn’t want to be away from him. They are so sweet, and how could I say no to that?!”
So they began hybrid homeschool and the girls were able to be with their brother more, but that was not the end of their love and help to him. “I remember when my sister had leukemia when she was 17,” Carla recalls. “She needed bone marrow and the national registry had no matches. So all of us sisters got tested and two out of the three of us had perfect matches and could donate to her, which is totally unheard of! “Well, Lincoln gets checked regularly to see if he develops leukemia or needs a bone marrow transplant. Even though he hasn’t needed it yet, my girls were tested and it turns out that they are both a perfect match for their brother. It is so unlikely that that would be true and I can’t help but have some encouragement from the same thing happening with Lincoln and his sisters that happened between me and my sisters.” Having that experience earlier on in life with her sister in the hospital gave Carla strength going through this process with Lincoln. She had already been in hospitals, stayed in the Ronald McDonald house, and knew some of the language to use with medical staff, which she says has given her some peace in this process. But the opposite has also given her comfort as well. “It has been nice feeling prepared for a lot of this process, but it is also really good to not always know what’s coming. There have been times when I have been exhausted and drained and Lincoln’s temperature spikes late at night, so I have to rally everything and take him to the hospital. If I knew it was coming I don’t know how I would have coped, but when it just happens you do whatever you have to do.”
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This family has continued to adapt and overcome, finding reasons to smile and projects to pursue right in the middle of where they have found themselves. Lincoln made videos of his hospital visits from his perspective to help other kids understand what he has gone through, and continues to smile and play his way through life. His sisters played sports and learned to play instruments and continue to take care of their baby brother like only sisters can. And all three of the siblings entered into the world of acting and have appeared in nationally televised commercials.
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“We are so proud of all three of them. That was an incredibly difficult season of our lives, but Lincoln’s SDS is now manageable! We have annual check-ups and things can flare up that cause us to go to the hospital, but life looks pretty normal for a seven-year-old boy. This syndrome will always be a part of our lives, but thankfully our family has gotten closer and continues to thrive through it all.” San Diego is definitely a more joyful place because of this tough family, and we rejoice with them as Lincoln continues to thrive in life. We look forward to seeing how Lincoln and the rest of the Reichel family make their mark for the good of the city.
FOLLOW LINCOLN AND HIS FAMILY @homegrownbizkids
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‘Be Present” A written piece by Christopher Ward
This moment is the only one you have.
I am wired to overthink. I live much of my life in my head, sorting out problems or planning the correct way to handle a conflict or strategizing the most effective way forward when faced with a problem. While this trait can be useful, it has also been the cause of much unnecessary mental anguish and anxiety.
There are a million and one reasons I can find to overthink, and not one of them ends up being worthwhile, because none of them have anything to do with the present moment, and this present moment is the only one I have. The past is gone forever and the future is not guaranteed, and I have missed so many current moments because I have been lost in my head.
This is a top five life rule for me because I don’t want to miss out on what is by dreaming of or fearing what could be. My wife is far too precious to see past while I spin circles in my mind, my son is growing up way too quickly for me to miss a single moment of it, and my God is far too present now for me to only hope for more of Him in the future.
I lived in Turkey for a year during college, and I think that was one of the most important seasons for my education in the practice of being present. I had no other choice! If I wasn’t paying attention I’d find myself on a bus going the opposite direction I intended or eating something I really didn’t want or know anything about. I also learned it from the Turkish people. They were so incredibly warm and hospitable, always wanting to learn more about me and share some of their life as well.
Once I met a friend named Firat. Firat was kind and charming, inviting friend after friend after friend to come meet the American he’d found on his university’s campus. Before I knew it, Firat was inviting me to his family’s home for dinner. It was an important celebration in his culture and wanted me to come experience it. That night. So I found myself on a bus with a man I just met, going to a part of a city in Turkey I had never been before with nothing but an old Nokia phone to call the other Americans I was in the country with if I needed anything. I felt more than a little vulnerable and out of my depth.
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But soon enough we arrived in a neighborhood that might be considered undesirable in the United States, although I only learned this later from my friend. To my eyes it seemed perfectly normal. Plenty of concrete apartment buildings, stray cats and dogs, and vendors selling food on the street, much like the rest of the city. What made the neighborhood so “undesirable” was that it was primarily occupied by Kurdish families, a people group that had been in constant conflict with the Turkish people for centuries. It turned out my new friend was Kurdish, along with his entire family, and it was a Kurdish holiday we were going to celebrate, one which I later found out was not permitted to be celebrated because it was not Turkish.
Nonetheless, my friend’s family was gathered together in the small living room of the family home, many of whom I could tell lived together in this same dwelling. They smiled huge, warm and friendly smiles as Firat introduced me and I said a halting and imperfect Turkish “Hello, nice to meet you.” No sooner had I sat down than a plate of food was in my hand, and I enjoyed rice, beans, and chicken with everyone else. Through Firat they asked me questions and got to know me the best they could, and we thoroughly enjoyed each other’s company. At one point Firat said something to them about me that made them raise their eyebrows, smile, and say “Wow,” collectively. I asked what he had said and he told me he had informed them that my birthday was that day, something I had mentioned to him earlier but wasn’t interested in making a big deal about. They wished me a happy birthday and we continued the conversation, talking about my family, life in America, and a hundred other questions they had for me.
Not much later something was being passed to me directly from the matriarch of the family, Firat’s grandma, who had left the room briefly and came back with this thing in her hands. It made its way across the room and into my hands, where I found myself looking at a bottle of Adidas cologne. I smiled appreciatively and said “Very nice,” in Turkish, trying to convey that I was very impressed with this possession they found important enough to show me, especially since I thought it might be one of the more valuable things they owned. When I attempted to hand it back to Firat, however, he made a small tutting noise and lifted his head an inch, which is a Turkish way of saying no. He then pushed the glass bottle back into my hands. I looked at the grandma confused, who then told Firat something. Firat looked at me and said, “Your birthday present.”
I was shocked. I still am as I write this ten years later. These people, many of whom had never met an American in their lives and who had only just met me, collectively nodded and smiled in complete agreement over an act of generosity for a stranger’s birthday. 062
None of them balked.
No one doubted it, questioned it, or disagreed.
Their collective gut reaction to learning my birthday was that day was to celebrate with me by giving me a gift. And slowly they began to sing Happy Birthday to me in Turkish.
I smiled. I cried. I thanked them. I received the gift and still have it to this day.
That family wasn’t concerned about what life had been like the day before. They weren’t concerned with the rumors that the Turkish army was on its way to their community to “break up” their celebrations (we did in fact pass troops and tanks as we left the neighborhood that night). They didn’t think about the money it cost them to give this gift away. They knew what was happening in front of them, a human being had been born and they were happy he existed, so they gave him a present.
The people of Turkey were consistently present, wholly engaged in the conversation and friendship that was in front of them. It made them late to other obligations and they missed plans completely in order to remain engaged with the person they were currently with, and because this was an accepted way of behaving, people weren’t angry with each other when plans changed. It’s like they collectively valued the present moment enough to change future plans, and generally accepted when that happened. I would have missed the mental snapshot I still have of that room and those people if I were lost in the future in my head. I would have missed so many moments that year and so many years since if I hadn’t learned to slow down, be present, and not overthink. And the thing is, I think people know when you’re not all there with them. It makes me feel uneasy, unimportant, and not valuable when it happens to me, and I don’t ever want to make someone else feel that way. It doesn’t matter how many hypothetical scenarios I can fix or plans I can make in my mind at that moment, I’m not ever guaranteed any moment except the one I am currently in, so why would I miss it?
With the improvement of multi-tasking and the value we’ve placed on production, we’ve lost the slow art of conversation and friendship. We’re so busy trying to fix each other or be fixed ourselves that our interactions have been turned into goods and being present to each other is no longer enough. If we could I think we would bill our “friends” for the hours we spend with them in real life.
There’s no other moment I have except the current one, and no people I can currently love except the ones in front of me, and no blessings to enjoy except the ones currently present to me, and no God to know except the one who is nearer now than my very breath.
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Every time I wear that cologne I am reminded of the moment I received it ten years ago on the other side of the world, and it helps me be even more present in this current moment here and now. May you find the ability to do the same, because you and the people around you at this moment of your existence are worth your full attention.
We see you, we value you, we thank you It’s because of humans like you that Visible & its mission to rehumanize San Diego have become a reality. We hope you enjoy your Mag!
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