OPINION E
That’s what she said.
Photos and Interviews by Brian Bogart
“What’s your favorite class this semester?”
“US history, because my teacher is wild. yesterday he got up on the table and impersonated elvis.”
Gabi
“My favorite class this semester would be Physical Anthropology with Dr. Kirk. His energetic way of teaching, relevant examples and almost falling off the stage everyday due to his excitement makes the class that much more interesting.”
Alese
“I would have to say my favorite class is human Sexuality with professor Daley because there is never a dull moment when you have college students talking about sex.”
Brianna
“My favorite class this semester is my Forensic Anthropology class. We basically spend an hour and a half studying the different stages of decomposition.”
Clarisa
“Legal environment of business because the instructor is passionate about teaching and it’s a very logical class.”
Becca
“Auditioning and Monologues with because I am getting my ass kicked.”
Nikki
Air it out Dear Barton Springs Road, Why are you always so fucking crowded? I know this weekend was Austin City Limits, and I know that festival pumps all sorts of money into our fair city’s economy, but Jesus man, I feel like you are out to get me or something. Since I moved down South, the only way to get to my work is to take Lamar past you every single morning, and you know what? You always fuck my shit up. Either some high school kid is cruising along at 15mph thinking she’s really awesome for cutting first period and because she has a “SUPER SEXY SENIOR 2012!!!!!” soap circle caked over her windshield, or some asshole is blocking the intersection by insisting on nudging his car into a left turn on a yellow light. I don’t mean to pick on you, Barton Springs, but it feels like you are trying my patience on purpose. My commute to work is about 25 minutes. I’d say more than 50% of that is spent traveling between my parking space and your intersection with Lamar, which is less than 5 blocks.
An Air It Out FAQ How to get us to actually print what you write. 1. Everything Anonymous – Not only are we giving you an opportunity to publicly air your grievances, we’re allowing you to hide behind the cowardly mask of anonymity to do it. So we don’t want your name. But we’re also extending that same courtesy to whomever you’re complaining about. If a wasted girl spilled food on you at Kerbey Lane, then call her “a girl.” We don’t need her name, date of birth, or UTEID. 2. Be Brief – Sorry would–be Unabombers, we’re not going to publish your entire manifesto. Short and not–so–sweet is key. If you can’t say what you need in less than 250 words, than you’re rambling, not ranting. 3. Stay Specific – There’s a lot to be annoyed about on campus. We know. But please pick one issue, not seven, and avoid digressing. An open letter to whoever keeps shaving their pubes in the communal sink is good; a list of things you don’t like about living in the dorms is less so.
ACL, of course, made things even worse. Friday had to be a day that I listened to my iPod instead of the radio, otherwise I might have caught a reminder that the second biggest Austin clusterfuck (the first being SXSW) had already descended full force onto my neck of the woods. You know what’s worse than having to start the first half of your morning commute over when you’re already late for work? Lots of things. Polio, for one. But long story short, you’ve been annoying me lately, and I think I might have to start using the backstreets more often.
Sincerely,
Always late 4. Powerful Language – At UWeekly, we write our own rules. We’re down to say a naughty word now and again. But there is a huge difference between the rare, well–placed profanity and a barely literate Youtube comment. Your critiques should be at least a little bit more cutting than “blah blah blah is a *@#&!!!” 5. To Whom It May Concern – Air It Out is publishing your open letters, so don’t forget to address them as such. Did some douche lose his lunch the last time you rode the E–Bus? Then open with “Dear Dude Who Barfed on the Bus.” And just because we’re not giving out your name doesn’t mean you can’t let him know who it’s from. Just sign it, “Sincerely, Everyone Else on the Bus.” Please send all Air It Out submissions to AirItOut@ uweeklyaustin.com UWeekly reserves the right to edit submissions for content, anonymity, and space. UWeeklyAustin.com | September 28, 2011
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