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APRIL 18, 2012



APRIL 18, 2012


No Butts About it:


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Charm School:


UWeekly Sits Down

Smoke-Free UT

Texas Wins the Quidditch Lone Star Cup

A Guide to Music Festival Etiquette

with Belaire

UT Fashion Show: Behind the Scenes Page 4 Photo: Elizabeth Hinojos

loneliness of the ghost towns that still remain and the desert. I have incorporated relevant details, such as my color palette and the use of leather, suede, crow feathers and fringe.

How are the pieces relevant to you?

The apparel design students will present over 120 original designs on the catwalk at this year’s annual senior fashion show, “Contour.” To hone in on the techniques and different types of fabrics, the designers have chosen “Contour” as their pervading theme. Organized by the University Fashion Group, participants will present a variety of garments ranging from men’s wear, evening wear, bridal gowns, active wear, new laser cutting techniques, digital printing and much more! A panel of local industry professionals will award prizes for Best Fashion Collection, Most Innovative Fashion Collection, Most Marketable Fashion Collection, Best Constructed Fashion Collection and Best Evening/Bridal Gown. UWeekly exchanged emails with five senior design students whose works will be displayed down the runway at this year’s senior fashion show.

How would you describe the collection you’ve created? Sara Essoufi: Casual, feminine and bright. Vivian Hoang: My collection definitely embraces the glamorous, red carpet style combining femininity and beauty with a bit of sass by using classic silhouettes and revealing sheers and peek-a-boo details. Samantha Kidd: I crafted a multi-functional collection that appeals to a broad spectrum of women. While pushing myself technically and creatively, I still wanted to stay true to my personal aesthetic and create refined, sophisticated and striking outfits. Stefant Phonthephasone: My collection incorporates minimalism, lots of leather, raw and tattered textures and has a dark and sort of gothic look.


April 18, 2012 |

Andie Salazar: My pieces are sleek and sophisticated with an edginess to them.

What was your inspiration? Essoufi: A contrast of feminine and masculine. Hoang: With icy colors, sheers, and soft textures, my collection “The Cold Queen” embodies the grace and soft beauty of a queen all with a bitter bite that comes with the power of her reign. Kidd: I was inspired by Argentinian and Indian architecture. I wanted to take the geometric and organic elements found in specific buildings and translate it into clothing Phonthephasone: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, gothic arches, the armor in Xena. Salazar: My collection is inspired by the spirit and aesthetic of the old west, the echoing

Essoufi: They’re pieces that I believe in, think are beautiful and pieces I’ve poured myself into. Hoang: This collection is a translation of my own taste in style, my view on beauty, and my deep appreciation to detail. I incorporated feminine silhouettes, luxurious fabrics, and couture sewing techniques into my collection in reflection of my craftsmanship and vision of elegant beauty. Kidd: They’re classic separates with a modern edge. Everything I designed I would wear and I feel that it appeals to a wide range of women. They’re investment pieces in luxe materials that will stay relevant to your wardrobe no matter the season/current trends. Phonthephasone: This collection has pieces that really represent who I am. I have learned how to “contour” my designs to not only fit the human body but to really express my individuality. I love leather and plan on working with a lot of leather in the future. This group of looks that I will be showing in CONTOUR is my introduction in the world of leather fashion. Salazar: They very much reflect my personal style aesthetic currently. They are all pieces that I would absolutely wear on a variety of occasions.

Why should people come out to the show? Essoufi: It’s a fun night of fashion and it’s free. It’s a way of supporting the designers here at UT Austin in general while still having a great time out. Hoang: Our senior design class is a very diverse group creatively, but all equally skilled and ambitious to create something unique and personal to themselves. It’s thrilling to see the final product of our ideas and our hands, and to share that incredible feeling we designers get seeing our work go down would be all the more better. Oh, and the show is free! Kidd: You can’t experience anything in Austin like this except for once a year! It’s free and you have the opportunity to see the students at the start of their career and watch them evolve as designers/stylists/product developers/etc. Phonthephasone: The senior designers have been working all year long and the show is basically representative of everything they’ve learned while they’ve been in UT’s Textiles

and Apparel Program. The UT senior show is probably the biggest fashion show in the nation, everyone should be a part of it. Salazar: It’s a great way to support the UT and Austin fashion communities and on a purely entertainment level is one of the biggest fashion shows in the city annually. We’ve all been working so hard on our pieces; we would love for as many people as possible to be able to see them. And besides, it’s free! What’s there to lose?

What sets your designs apart from the rest? Essoufi: My bright color selection. Hoang: The combination of what is perceived as beautiful with a subtle sharpness and deathly allure is what I feel is unique to my collection. Kidd: My collection is very cohesive and can be worn in a multitude of ways. It’s also not just for show: every piece can be adapted into your everyday wardrobe. Phonthephasone: Like the other seniors’ designs, you can really tell that I was the one who designed my collection. People will enjoy how dark my collection is and just be entertained by all the leather I used. Salazar: I really focused on keeping my construction at a high standard and making sure that my designs had the right amount of detail to be dramatic, while still being sleek and remaining not costume-like.

What part of the show are you looking forward to the most? Essoufi: The Finale. Hoang: The end … I just want to sleep. Kidd: Being done!! I’m really excited to see everyone’s looks out on the runway on models. It’s totally different seeing it on a mannequin and seeing it on the human body in motion, the fabric flowing and hanging the way it was intentionally meant to do. Phonthephasone: The finale! The feeling of being finished is an amazing feeling. Salazar: Sitting in the audience and seeing my work actually come down the runway. And afterwards, being done! No more sleepless nights in the sewing lab! “Contour” will take place on Thursday, April 19, 2012. The fashion show will start at 8 PM. Fashion Alley on the concourse opens at 6:30 PM. The event is held in the Frank Erwin Center and is free and open to the public. Elizabeth Hinojos

Treat yourself The UT Printmaking Faculty Show As the end of the semester is nearing, we’re getting to see a bunch of great faculty projects come to life. Starting April 20, the UT Printmaking Faculty show will be taking place at the Gallery Black Lagoon. This art show will feature professors Lee Chesney, Neal Daugherty, Tom Druecker, Sandra C. Fernandez, Ken Hale, Tim High and Margie Simpson. Taking a look at some of their previous works gives you a pretty good idea that this is a show you won’t want to miss. Printmaking is a complicated art form that requires a strenuous amount of time and dedication. Once an artist has finished making the print, they can reproduce it by transferring ink from their original to another piece of material. What’s cool is that each reproduction can be considered an original since no two impressions are the same. Making the actual print can be done in a variety of ways. For example, I knew a printmaking artist that would etch her art onto

a thin piece of wood. The amount of detail that goes into her work is incredible. Each piece took her around 40 hours to complete. Now imagine having multiple pieces for a gallery. Show these artists some love for their hard work! You’ll definitely want to go the opening reception so you can discuss their prints over some free food and drinks. This will give you the chance to ask what inspired them to create that specific image. Most of their previous images have a surreal quality to them and draw from various

the USA. Underneath the red branch was the text “denied access to education.” According to Tim High’s UT biography, he draws from themes that concentrate on the weaknesses and flaws of human beings and their societies. One of his serigraph prints titled After Delacroix / orphan in the cemetery features a distraughtlooking young woman looking fearfully on a 1940s plane that’s a little too close for comfort. These professors are known for their work all over the world. Lee Chesney alone has been featured in Rome, Paris, Hong Kong and many more places. Other artists like Tim High

If you are a budding artist this would be a good chance to mingle and learn secrets of the trade. themes that are personal to the artist. Sandra Fernandez, for example, has created a piece dedicated to Edgar Allen Poe’s “The Raven.” She etched a daunting image of the raven looming over a family that was standing on an outline of

have permanent collections in museums like the Metropolitan Museum of Art and the Boston Museum of Fine Arts. These are all fine establishments and if you are a budding artist this would be a good chance to mingle and

Print: Sandra Fernandez

learn secrets of the trade. It’s not often you can meet with reputable artists like the ones on display at the UT Printmaking Faculty show. The opening ceremony is April 20 at the Gallery Black Lagoon and is from 7 to 10 PM. It’s free to attend and free drinks and food will be provided. Cornucopia Gourmet Popcorn is one of the sponsors, so you can enjoy some delicious candied popcorn while observing interpretations of human nature. The exhibit will remain up until April 29 and will be available for viewing on Saturdays from 10 AM to 2 PM and on Sundays from 2 to 6 PM. You can also make an appointment to schedule a viewing if these times don’t fit into your busy schedule. Celine Suarez

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is the way to be Or is it? In the ever-expanding police state of a country we live in, it’s easy to wonder if this is, indeed, the land of the free. Theoretically, the people who live and work in the land of the free are free to do what they please, when they please. This includes smoking. Despite the turmoil and protests of the 99% all across the country and the uprising of peoples all around the globe, UT has fallen right in line with the oppressors of the world. They are now telling you when and where you can and cannot smoke. As usual, these laws and regulations are passed under the assumption that it’s “for our own good” or as a part of a new, healthy wave of positivism. However you slice it, they are telling you how to live your live as well as implying that you don’t know how to govern yourself.

Follow the money The University of Texas isn’t just a learning institution, it’s also a research facility crawling with lab rats. One way they fund and sustain their research efforts is to take money from your tuition and put it towards their experiments and studies. The other way is to apply for grants. This leaves a lot of power to the grantors of this magical money. UT’s recent decision proves that no matter how big you are or how far up you go on the food chain, whoever has the gold still makes the rules. The Cancer Research Institute of Texas

infringe upon the rights of others? Phillip Hebert of the Charles A. Dana Center disagrees with the policy and associates it with the need for researchers and university staff and administration officials to keep the shirts on their backs. “We are dealing with a lot of high stress factors that are keeping people on edge about their own job security, the different things that are going on at the university, the priorities of the university and I just think this is the wrong priority for the wrong time,” said Herbert. That still doesn’t change the fact that the

“UT has fallen right in line with the oppressors of the world. They are now telling you when and where you can and cannot smoke.” announced in February that they would continue funding to UT contingent upon tobacco-free policies through the campus. In other words, UT has to make its campus a tobacco-free area in order to pocket the $88 million it’s expecting to receive from the institution annually. Shit, for $88 million, who wouldn’t


April 18, 2012 |

students of UT are paying an administration that feels it has the right to police students who aren’t breaking the law. Since UT isn’t a legislative body, it technically can’t pass any laws. It can only enforce its own policies, as there is a difference between breaking the law and disregarding a public institution’s policies. Learn the difference,

as this affects all of us, smokers or not.

What now? So what does this mean for all you who have a pack of American Spirits rolled up their shirt sleeve? Since UT isn’t a completely private campus, and since parts of UT are either public property or privately owned, there are still spots on campus to light one up before class. You can always duck into The Local for a quick drag on their back porch or you can light up on any one of the public sidewalks your (or your parents’) tax dollars paid for.

Much like “free speech zones” are to protestors, “smoking areas” are to tobacco users. UT’s expected to post “No Smoking” signs soon as well as designating smoking areas for the nicotine addicts. Since this policy isn’t said to go into effect for another seven years, there’s plenty of time left for all the activist-minded smokers out there to forge ahead with their cancerous agendas. It’s also important to note that there will be no fines for those who break the policy, for now. Amanda Chappel

Good Deeds Publisher Michael Huereque Account Executives Nick Lorges Emily Faeth Art Director Jessica Caraway Ad Designer Terry Kennedy Editor–in–Chief Sarah Neve Copy Editor Daniel J. Frimpter Campus Writers Amanda Chappel Luke Winkie Sports Writers Brian Bogart Entertainment Writers William M. Bass Sarah Vasquez Karissa Rodriguez Brett Thorne Elijah Watson Arryn Zech Circulation Jeremy Tooker CONTACT PUBLISHER Highbrow LLC ABOUT UWeekly Austin

UWeekly Austin is an independent publication and is not affiliated with the University of Texas at Austin. One free copy per person. Additional copies may be picked up at our office for .50 each. Opinions expressed are those of the writers/authors and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the staff or publishers of UWeekly. Not liable for omissions, misprints, or typographical errors. No part of this publication may be reproduced without the written consent of the publisher. © Copyright 2012 Highbrow, LLC

To Write Love on Her Arms visits San Marcos Depression isn’t something to be ashamed of anymore One’s college years are fertile ground for depression, anxiety and drug abuse, but why? Denny Kolsh of To Write Love on Her Arms, a non-profit organization dedicated to spreading awareness about and finding support for people suffering from selfinjury, depression, addiction and thoughts of suicide, has one theory. Having suffered from severe depression and drug addiction himself during his late teens and early twenties, Kolsh believes community and identity are main contributing factors for people experiencing depression during this period in their life. “I think depression is complicated. You do see it in the 18-24 demographic,” said Kolsh. Kolsh also believes that this particular stage of life includes a lot of

exactly what Kolsh is trying to build through his work with To Write Love on Her Arms, as he will be giving a speech at Texas State University this April 25. To Kolsh, the big life questions that one’s presented with during the college years, coupled with stigma about depression and thoughts of suicide, can cause people to self-isolate and shut down, thus worsening the problem. “I isolated myself to the point where I didn’t have the coping skills to deal with it in a healthy setting. As a result, I lost the freedom to be able to address what was happening inside myself,” said Kolsh. Kolsh believes that open discourse, dialogue and building community around these issues will help others deal with depression in a much more positive way.

“There’s a certain identity crisis that occurs in this life stage.” transitioning and loss of identity. “It’s part of transitioning from one community to another community, one peer group to another peer group. There’s a certain identity crisis that occurs in this life stage,” said Kolsh. While transitioning from one community to the next might trigger episodes of depression, suffering from ongoing depression is another issue altogether, one with complicated reasons behind it. To Kolsh, a loss of identity during those years was the biggest reason for his depression. “In that identity crisis, what I experienced is the loss of belonging, the loss of community,” said Kolsh. And that sense of belonging and sense of community is

Through building structure, community and communication, Kolsh is seeing a positive movement forward. “The more we have people speaking honestly about their struggle, other people know they aren’t the only ones struggling,” said Kolsh. Kolsh believes that finding a community of fellow sufferers is the key to finding the support needed to fight this internal struggle. “Through these issues, community has been formed,” and people are able to identity with others going through similar issues. Kolsh believes that through social media and digital technologies, it’s easier than ever to reach out and find others who are going through what you are going through, without

the shame and stigma. The way Kolsh sees it, there’s tremendous value in focusing on the university demographic. To him, it’s about “creating space that allows people to talk about it in a deeper way and reflect it back into the larger university community,” and eventually the global community. Although Kolsh has some social phobias and anxiety, he’s willing to put those aside to get out the larger message: there is help for those suffering from depression, self-injury or suicide ideation. If you or someone you know is suffering from depression or is at risk for suicide, please attend this lecture and pick up some more information about how to best tackle this obstacle. Amanda Chappel

Texas State University

Licensed Mental Health Counselor Aaron Moore and Denny Kolsch speaking. TWLOHA info and merch available Campus Ballroom 601 University Drive San Marcos, TX 78666 Doors open at 6:30 PM

7:00 PM | FREE, OPEN TO THE PUBLIC | April 18, 2012


Events on or around campus

Wednesday, April 18 Softball Baylor, Waco, TX, 6:30 PM

Men’s Track Longhorn Invitational, Austin, TX, TBA

Women’s Volleyball LSC Showcase, Dallas, TX, TBA

Thursday, April 19

Women’s Track

Women’s Track

Longhorn Invitational, Austin, TX, TBA

Mt. SAC Relays Walnut, CA, TBA

Friday, April 20 Baseball

Men’s Golf Aggie Invitational, Bryan, TX, All Day

Sunday, April 22

Kansas, Austin, TX, 7 PM



Kansas, Austin, TX, 1 PM

Justice for Cisco

Oklahoma State, Austin, TX, 5 PM


Women’s Track

Oklahoma State, Austin, TX, 11 AM

Anytime, anywhere If you haven’t heard, a beloved Blue Heeler by the name of Cisco was shot to death in front of his owner when an APD officer arrived at the wrong house in response to a domestic violence call on April 14. Unfortunately, you can expect nothing to happen to the police officer, since these assholes usually get to do whatever the hell they want and get away with it. But that doesn’t mean you can’t stand behind justice and make your voice be known! Visit for more details.

Mt. SAC Relays, Walnut, CA, TBA

Saturday, April 21 Baseball Kansas, Austin, TX, 7 PM


Women’s Tennis Oklahoma State, Stillwater, OK, 12 PM

Men’s Golf Aggie Invitational, Bryan, TX, All Day

Tuesday, April 24

Oklahoma State, Austin, TX, 1 PM


Women’s Tennis

Central Arkansas, Austin, TX, 6 PM

Oklahoma, Norman, OK, 12 PM

Brian Bogart

Across the universe April 18 I don’t know about you, but I’ve wanted to get on the roof of one of these UT skyscrapers for some time now. It’s just so hard to do without getting caught (or bribing the right person). So you should take advantage of this once-ina-lifetime opportunity to take the elevator up to the 17th floor of Robert Lee Moor Hall and enjoy an evening peering into the Department of Astronomy’s telescope. Robert Lee Moor Hall, 8:30-10:30 PM

Round ’em up, ship ’em out April 18 The Human Rights round-up is a consortium of students, profs and partners of UT who are standing up and plowing forward in their cause.


April 18, 2012 |

The cause is to make UT sweat-shop free. Not a bad cause to get behind, if you ask me. The event won’t be all picket signs and bullhorns. Come enjoy the games, prizes and much more. West Mall, 2-5 PM

Cafeteria food sucks April 19 And here’s your chance to do something about it. Care for more leafy greens on your food tray than tater tots? Crave the nutrients found in non-GMO and organic food? Does your body crave a more healthful diet? At this “Think Green, Eat Green” event, you can find out about how UT’s cuisine is moving in a slightly more sustainable direction. West Mall, 10 AM-2 PM

Earth Day, Earth Day, Earth Day! April 20 April 20 is usually a day celebrated by stoners everywhere, but not this year. Come celebrate a different kind of green with this Earth Day Kickoff. There will be food, eco pledges, film screenings and much, much more. At the very least, you should recycle on this day. West Mall and Ernest Cockrel Hall (ECJ) 1.202, 11 AM-7 PM Amanda Chappel

Have something to add? Email us at


Air It Out

Photos and Interviews by Brian Bogart

That’s what she said.

What’s the number one most played song on your ipod or in life?

Inhabitants of West Campus District, Of all the places I have lived, West Campus is the most cacophonous by far--& I used to live in a ghetto in a city that never sleeps. Nowhere else have I encountered noise levels that rival a 747 during takeoff. But even that, or the scream of a pig being ineptly slaughtered, sounds more melodic than any sound emitted by you. Everything you do is done loudly, tastelessly, & usually at the worst time of night. Whether it be drinking, talking, singing off-key, playing/mixing music tracks, arguing, street fighting, puking, or fucking, you can’t do it without letting me know…even when your co-op rats’ den is four blocks away. How is it possible that you can attend college without having learned what “quiet” means? You

SUBMIT TO AIR IT OUT! 1. Everything Anonymous – Not only are we giving you an opportunity to publicly air your grievances, we’re allowing you to hide behind the cowardly mask of anonymity to do it. So we don’t want your name. But we’re also extending that same courtesy to whomever you’re complaining about. If a wasted girl spilled food on you at Kerbey Lane, then call her “a girl.” We don’t need her name, date of birth, or UTEID. 2. Be Brief – Short and not–so–sweet is key. If you can’t say what you need in less than 250 words, than you’re rambling, not ranting. 3. Stay Specific – There’s a lot to be annoyed about on campus. We know. But please pick one issue, not seven, and avoid digressing. An open letter to whoever keeps shaving their pubes in the communal sink is good; a list of things you don’t like about living in the dorms is less so.

may not know it but some of us have to get up in the morning.

“I’ve been listening to welcome to Atlanta a lot lately by Luda... probably anything Ludacris really”

After being forced to hear your obnoxious carrying-on at all hours for over three years now, I’ve learned one thing: There is no way to ensure silence in West Campus for any decent timespan without resorting to a belt-fed .30-caliber machine gun, an aerial bombardment, or a meat cleaver.

Kelli Shultz

“Born to die – Lana del Rey”

Katie Frank

Sincerely, One Who Wants Peace & Quiet. 4. Powerful Language – At UWeekly, we write our own rules. We’re down to say a naughty word now and again. But there is a huge difference between the rare, well–placed profanity and a barely literate Youtube comment. Your critiques should be at least a little bit more cutting than “blah blah blah is a *@#&!!!” 5. To Whom It May Concern – Air It Out is publishing your open letters, so don’t forget to address them as such. Did some douche lose his lunch the last time you rode the E–Bus? Then open with “Dear Dude Who Barfed on the Bus.” And just because we’re not giving out your name doesn’t mean you can’t let him know who it’s from. Just sign it, “Sincerely, Everyone Else on the Bus.”

“I don’t know cause I lost my headphones, but recently it’s that Domino song by Jessie J”

Julia Dubcak

“On my ipod it would probably be Eminem cause it’s what I run to and he’s really mean in his songs...if it was a normal song though, it’d probably be ‘whatever you say’ cause it’s my ringtone. A lot less fun but it’s a little more normal.”

“I’m gonna go with ‘knee deep’ by Zac Brown Band”

Rachel Kocian

“Carrie Underwood’s ‘good girl,’ her new song.”

Christina Newman

Destiny Arteaga | April 18, 2012


Shootin’ the shit “After just a few starts so far, how do you think Yu Darvish has performed and how will he pan out for the Rangers?” -Bayley Zarrehparvar Ahhhhhhhh Yuuuuuuuuuu ( yes, that’s a Soulja Boy reference), so much hype and such an enormous contract, but after two starts people are already starting to ask questions on just how good the Japanese phenomenon is. In Japan, the Big Yunit (Randy Johnson fans should appreciate that one) was virtually untouchable. Through seven years the stats spoke for themselves: 1.99 ERA, roughly 1,300 strikeouts and a WHIP of less than one. Not only that, but since he was pitching as an 18-year-old, his numbers just kept getting better and better. How could the Rangers not want a piece of that explosive right arm? But then April came, and just as everyone in Arlington was ready to see the unveiling of their new toy, they were given something of a wake-up call as Yu’s first professional

outing left much to be desired. With all the enormous pressure mounted on the young pitcher, his numbers reflected exactly that with five earned runs, four batters walked

expense of his control. That will change and it was already apparent that after his first inning pitched, he settled in and only allowed one more run over the course of four more innings.

I think it’s clear that the talent is there and that his sub-two ERA in Japan was no accident. and eight hits allowed. While that may not be exactly what most folks in Arlington were expecting, there is some good news that came from that performance. First and foremost, the majority of Darvish’s runs allowed came in the very first inning of his MLB career as it was just painfully obvious the pressure got to the kid and he tried to over-perform at the

To make matters better for Texas fans, Yu proved that his command in the last four innings of his first MLB game was no fluke as he only allowed one run in his second outing against the Minnesota Twins over 5 2/3 innings. So when you look at it mathematically, Darvish has allowed only two runs in his last ten innings pitched compared to the four he

allowed in only one inning. Not too shabby. Now while that’s not to say that Darvish will always pitch one-run ball for every ten innings he throws, I think it’s clear that the talent is there and that his sub-two ERA in Japan was no accident. I’m not saying those kind of numbers are going to translate directly into the US of A, but there’s also nothing to indicate that he’s plateaued yet or that his best days aren’t ahead of him. If I’m a Rangers fan, though (which I just so happen to be), then I am psyched to have him on my team and am eager to see what he can do once he starts to find his rhythm within the pitching rotation. Brian BogarT Want to Shoot the Shit with me? Email your questions to Photo: Mike LaChance


April 18, 2012 |



One of the coolest moments of the NBA season was Kevin Durant highfiving a little ginger boy that was wearing his jersey after he finished an and-one dunk. Even better was the kid’s reaction as his friend he was sitting next to hugged him in celebration. Oh yeah, and it also capped off a 43-point, seven rebound game for the Durantula as the Thunder pounded Minnesota. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you your (probable) MVP. In this week’s edition of classy moves from almost-professional athletes, former Alabama running back and future NFL first-rounder Trent Richardson took an Alabama leukemia survivor to her senior prom after she had trouble finding a date. 17-year-old Courtney Alvis had been undergoing chemotherapy for the last year and was only recently cleared medically to attend her senior prom when her uncle, who is close to the Alabama program, told players about her situation. That’s when Richardson jumped at the opportunity to help the young lady, and the rest, as they say, is history. It’s always a great moment when people in the public light use their fame for good and it’s high time more athletes followed Richardson’s example of selflessness. This is the one and only time I will ever utter these words, but to Trent Richardson I proudly say “Roll Tide.”

Photo Keith Allison


So Lamar Odom turned out to be a pretty enormous bust in Dallas, didn’t he? Sucks for Mavs fans and pretty much everyone involved. I understand how big of a distraction it can be to be married to a Kardashian, but come on, it isn’t even the hot one. Am I the only one who doesn’t understand the love Ryan Tannehill is getting on the draft board? I know that he has the fantastic physical tools as far as quarterbacks go, but given his questionable performances during his time as the Aggies’ starter, being labeled a top 10 pick seems pretty outrageous. In my humble opinion, the guy has secondrounder at best written all over him and either there’s something I’m just not seeing or he just has the best agent ever who has an in at ESPN. My money is on the latter. Don’t call it a comeback, because Derrick Rose never left. OK, maybe he did for just about a third of the NBA season, but after a dismal two-point performance in his first game back against the Heat, D-Rose righted the ship against the Pistons when he sunk a game-tying three-pointer to send his team to overtime and ultimately win. That game-saving three was just the cherry on top of what turned out to be a very solid 24point, nine assist performance. Brian Bogart

Photo: U.S. Army

How a proud few have caught Quidditch fever and are spreading it all over the 40 Acres We’ve all taken the tests. Whether they came from the internet, a fan-made booklet or even from a particularly dedicated friend who took it upon themselves to compose their own quiz, we’ve all found out one way or another which Hogwart’s house we belong in. After the brief thrill that comes with being sorted into a house, however, we resume our lives as usual, longing for what might have been if only we actually existed in the magical world of Harry Potter. Whether it be pursuing a career as an auror, striving for a job as a potions master or becoming a professional dragon trainer, these are only the stuff of dreams, and as much fun as it is to fantasize, we know these dreams will never materialize into reality. Others, though, dare to dream, and in dreaming have actually succeeded in finding some semblance of J.K. Rowling’s magic in the real world. Ladies and gentlemen, meet your Texas Quidditch team, the ones who live in a reality you wish existed.

throughout the region. Just last Saturday, they hosted schools ranging from Baylor to LSU for the fabled Quidditch Lone Star Cup. Although this was the cup’s first year in existence, the stakes never seemed higher as 12 schools battled it out over a hard-fought weekend. When the dust settled, though, Texas Quidditch rose from the ashes (just like Dumbledore’s phoenix, Fawkes!) and walked away as tournament champions with the Lone Star Cup in hand, defeating—who else—Texas A&M in the final match. Besides sticking it to a bunch of smelly Aggies, though, the tournament not only marked significant progress in UT’s development as a team, but also did a lot to establish credibility for Quidditch as a sport. Team captain Chris Morris lauded not only his team’s effort on the field but also for their abilities to play host as well. “We started out the tournament a little rough,” said Morris, “but then we hit our

“Quidditch? Isn’t that a made-up game where the players fly around on broomsticks scoring goals with quaffles while chasing the ever-elusive golden snitch?” Now I know what you’re thinking: “Quidditch? Isn’t that a made-up game where the players fly around on broomsticks scoring goals with quaffles while chasing the ever-elusive golden snitch?” The answer is simple: you bet your ass it is. For these athletes, however, Quidditch isn’t just a fantasy; it’s a hobby, a pastime, a lifestyle, and they couldn’t be happier to bring a lost sense of wizarding magic to the 40 Acres. Besides practicing and playing amongst each other, the Texas Quidditch team also hosts and competes in various tournaments


April 18, 2012 |

stride and that’s when we came to play. We played our hearts out, especially in the final match against A&M. That was the best game we have ever played.” While it’s generally characteristic of a Texas Longhorn to save their best for an A&M Aggie, UT hung tough all day while also facing teams that included Baylor and LSU, who walked away with a third place finish. After such a successful tournament weekend, it will only be a matter of time before UT establishes its own sense of tradition from a Quidditch standpoint and begins recruiting

players based on its winning culture a la Mack Brown. Now even though that was mostly a joke, Quidditch has done so much to establish itself as a legitimate sport over such a short span of time that it won’t be too long before athletes from all over the state size up the team as a potential selling point for attending UT. When asked about her thoughts on the tournament, Lone Star Cup coordinator Allyson Bruton had nothing but positive things to say. “The tournament went really well,” said Bruton. “The weather wasn’t 100 degrees.” While favorable conditions are never a bad thing, it does make you feel a bit for poor Harry who had to play on a real flying broom in conditions that included freezing rain, heavy snow, and horrifying dementors. “We had a good sized crowd, and the players and volunteers were all very helpful in making sure things went smoothly,” said Bruton. “The level of competition in the Southwest region is always excellent, and Saturday was no exception.” So the Texas Quidditch team is here to

stay, and as long as they keep on winning, they’re not going away anytime soon. Besides simply racking up the W’s, however, it is the winner’s mentality that is pushing this team to the next level. As Texas Deluminator’s captains Cody Prentiss, Grace Worm and Kevin Gandingo were quick to point out, “every person came off the sidelines sweat-soaked and wanting to get back in to win it. We didn’t win because we were the better team, we won because we never walked away.” I’ll be damned if that doesn’t sound like a group of winners right there, and here on the 40, we pride ourselves on valuing winners like that. So go see a damn Quidditch game and get to know the team before I Avada Kedavra your ass. You’ll be able to find them at their House Cup tournament on April 28 at the LBJ Fountain at 11 AM. They’ll be thrilled you came to see them and if you’re lucky, maybe they’ll let you ride a broom or two. If you feel tempted to go chase a guy dressed in a golden snitch costume, however, don’t say I didn’t warn you. Brian Bogart

Revenge of the Nerds Fantasy Baseball, almost as obsessive and socially debilitating as online role-playing games. It’s also totally awesome. If you thought sports were for selfrighteous, one-time jocks with a lack of perspective on the world, then you’ve probably never been involved with fantasy baseball. It is inarguably the geekiest thing in the history of the sporting world, and honestly, it might even rival D&D, Furry Fandom or buying replicas of Lord of the Ring swords. Here are my reasons.

League prowess, fastball hitters, and the pros and cons of paying for saves. Some of the world’s nastiest arguments come in these woefully specific concepts. I swear I almost saw tears one time. It’s both bewildering and horrifying when you remember that all of this comes packed in a game with the word “fantasy” right in the title. You love to see grown men throw depressing hissy fits.

Straight-up obsession

Everyone looks like they just emerged from a basement

In my brief time with the fantasy baseball crowd, I’ve heard more esoteric names than my entire time playing World of Warcraft. The fantasy baseball geek has an unhealthy, encyclopedic database of names memorized, stadium schematics booked and starting rotations mastered. It is straight-up scary. I’m not sure what’s more confounding, knowing Chris Denorfia’s batting average or knowing the entire genealogy of Dwarven kings.

Argumentation All of the frozen, statistical knowledge ends up fueling some of the dorkiest debates this side of Endor. You will hear hardcore fantasy nerds nearly come to blows about National

Baseball geeks are unlike football geeks or basketball geeks. People watch baseball in solitary doses, alone in dorm rooms or economy-level housing. For me, I routinely

It is not a game for attractive people, or even athletic people. stay up until midnight only to watch my San Diego Padres play all the way out in the Pacific time zone. It is not a game for attractive people, or even athletic people.

The men and women who enter the dark descent of fantasy baseball have accepted their damnation with a beguiling grin. A grin hoisted up by about five different chins.

It can sneak up on you One of the people in my league this year is a girl. A pretty girl. A very pretty girl. A girl I asked to join a fantasy baseball league

because I thought it might be kind of funny. She accepted the invitation with reckless glee and started building her team weeks prior to the actual draft. Right now she’s kicking all of our asses in a multitude of colors. I’m not sure if I should be falling in love or cursing the heavens. Regardless, it’s a pretty good reason to get into fantasy baseball. Luke Winkie | April 18, 2012


Photo: UFC

This Week in facepunchin’ GUstafsson dazzles in UFC Sweden debut The UFC’s debut in Sweden was not only one of the most successful international cards in the organization’s history, but it also likely propelled hometown hero Alexander Gustafsson into the upper echelon of the light heavyweight division. Gustafsson dropped veteran opponent Thiago Silva early in the fight with an uppercut, and he then cruised through the rest of the fight to earn a decision victory and perhaps the biggest victory by a Swedish fighter in UFC history. In the co-main event, middleweight Brian Stann bounced back from a devastating loss to Chael Sonnen to blast veteran Alessio Sakara with a knockout less than halfway through the first round of their fight. Not to be outdone, debuting welterweight Siyar Bahadurzada nearly planted Paulo Thiago’s head into the second row of the crowd with a devastating blow just 42 seconds into the fight. Dennis Siver made a successful featherweight debut with a victory over Diego Nunes after a tough weight cut. To round out the main card, John Maguire submitted DaMarques Johnson, and bantamweights Brad Pickett and Damacio Page put on a barnburner before Pickett picked up the victory via rear naked choke at the end of the second round. End-of-night bonuses of $50,000 went to Bahadurzada (knockout of the night), Maguire (submission of the night), and Pickett and Page (fight of the night). The UFC returns this weekend with a highly

anticipated grudge match for the light heavyweight title between champion Jon Jones and challenger Rashad Evans as UFC 145 takes place in Atlanta on Saturday.

Six Bantamweight Tournament. Nogeuira outpointed Alexis Vila in a razor close unanimous decision, while Galvao claimed a decision victory of his own over Ed West.

Bellator returned to New Jersey on Saturday night, and a new bantamweight champion was crowned as top contender Eduardo Dantas submitted Zach Makovsky with an arm triangle in the second round to claim the title. Dantas outclassed Makovsky in every aspect of the fight before it ended

“The Ultimate Fighter: Live” returned to FX on Friday night, and Team Faber lightweight Joe Proctor moved one step closer to winning the tournament with a submission victory over Team Cruz’s Chris Tickle. Tickle landed some big shots on Proctor before the fight ended up on the mat and he succumbed to a submission. After the fight, Faber still had control of the fight picks and decided to pit John Cofer of his team against Team Cruz member Vinc Pichel.

Tickle landed some big shots on Proctor before the fight ended up on the mat and he succumbed to a submission.


April 18, 2012 |

up on the ground and the Brazilian showed why he is one of the most feared fighters to come out of the first country of fighting in years. Featherweight Daniel Straus earned a date in the Bellator Season Six Featherweight Tournament final against Marlon Sandro, as the Cincinnati native earned a unanimous decision over the very tough Mike Corey. And finally, bantamweights Luis Nogueira and Marcos Galvao moved one step closer to earning the first crack at Dantas as both fighters earned spots in the Bellator Season

At XFC 17 in Tennessee, Bellator veteran Eric Reynolds continued his comeback trail with a unanimous decision over Lucian Dos Santos. In other action, one-armed fighter Nick Newell showed tremendous heart in fighting through a deep rear naked choke to stay alive and earn a majority decision victory. Fan favorite Felice Herrig earned her sixth career victory with a unanimous decision over Patricia Vidonic. David McKinney

“The Whiskey’s on Ice and the Music’s on Fire”


Performance anxiety Fusebox Festival brings Elvis, pandrogynous drag queen pop divas, tent revivals and more to Austin While most people in Austin are too busy standing in bars listening to bands they probably don’t care for, some of the world’s most progressive and forward-thinking individuals in the performing arts are making history in our own city. The annual Fusebox Festival is the best place to experience some of the most dynamic and inspiring action in the contemporary scene. From avant garde food tastings and video installations to a talking artificial intelligence William Shatner—take that, ACL—the Fest no doubt has something that will satisfy anyone’s artistic palette. Fusebox wrangles vanguard talent from all corners of the globe, including Austin, into a two-week smorgasbord that offers a diversified spectrum of the contemporary performance and installation art scene. Below are some highlights of this massive event, giving you a peek into some of the engaging and provocative shows that the festival has to offer.


Whether we admit it or not, we all love trash culture of some variety. Blatant sexual objectification, idiocy, alcoholic frenzies, and fits of rage can be experienced just by turning the dial to the right station. Now, you don’t have to get cable to get all of that yumminess. Austin’s own transgressive drag, um, thing is beer-bonging it to you all at once. Christeene has been characterized as being “a sexually infused sewer of live rap and vile shamelessness, capable of adapting amazingly well to all styles of music.” Looking like your favorite pop starlet if she was a homeless crack fiend, Christeene is a candid look behind the curtain of pop culture. “Christeene feeds you the turd of trash culture that you eat every day,” said Paul Soileau. “S(he) merely takes the sugar off of it and presents it in its raw form.” At the same time, Christeene isn’t just about being as confrontational as possible. It also serves as a possibility to experience those raw


April 18, 2012 |

sensations and transgressive sexuality that we have been prohibited from, allowing us to bask in all of our raw urges if only for the length of a concert. “I think Christeene violates all of our normalities and the perception of dualities of all sorts,” said Soileau. “Is this sexual or gross? Is this good or bad? Am I only turned on by this or that? Christeene is exciting to let people experience those feelings but not get in trouble for it.” For more information about Christeene, you can go to the website

The Duplicates: Elvis Machine

If there is any approximation of eternity, we need only cast our eyes towards Graceland. A place where Elvis indeed lives, until the sun burns out, in the infinite amount of objects that the world has dispersed his soul into. Elvis Machine explores this concept of Elvis resurrecting in the form of his myriads of memorabilia. “I was intrigued about how my idea of Elvis was completely wrong after visiting Graceland,” said set designer Rowan Doyle. “I was really interested in how we make assumptions about people regarding the things they own and wear and how Elvis himself became an object.” The show is being put on by a motley crew of UT grad students, the Duplicates. The Duplicates’ shows are a sight to behold, mixing a number of different mediums together such as clowning, puppetry, high technology and collage. Following in this spirit of mashing up of old mediums together to create a new one, Elvis Machine is being staged at a parking lot at the old airport off of Manor. In addition, the show is being presented in the form of a drive-in movie experience where patrons will experience the show from their cars by tuning their radios to a specific frequency and the stage will be in the form of a movie screen. “I definitely think it is going to be a new experience,” said Doyle. “I was thinking about the difference between live performance and film... We are trying to bridge those two things with this show.”

Brian Osborne: The WORD - A House Party for Jesus

It is time for a revival of sincerity. The cold dominion of irony and sarcasm has reigned for far too long, ridding everything of meaning, feeling and substance. Brian Osborne is

in order to secularly take us to a higher place. The show deftly combines stream of consciousness rants, sermonizing, stand-up comedy and dance music into a rich smoothie of entertainment and inspiration. Just as people plop down twenty dollars to attend a tent revival for spiritual and entertainment purposes, Osborne hopes people will have the opportunity to experience both of those things at House Party,

“I think Christeene violates all of our normalities and the perception of dualities of all sorts. Is this sexual or gross? Is this good or bad? Am I only turned on by this or that? Christeene is exciting to let people experience those feelings but not get in trouble for it.” resurrecting this lost feeling through his one-man show, “The WORD: A House Party for Jesus.” Osborne embodies the convincing and fervent temperament of an evangelical preacher

but without the monotheistic message. “It takes its cues from the evangelical faith which has its lineage from the more performative side of Christianity while not necessarily working

with a Christian message,” said Osborne. “In essence, my intention with doing the show every single night is to lift people up.” Indeed, Osborne’s project seems to be re-claiming the space of the theater as an opportunity for community, connection and transcendence, not merely a space for crossing arms and passive voyeurism. “I want to create a genuine journey that

grounds itself in a sermon,” said Osborne. “I want to experience theatre as a holy space; a space where we should be as daring, weird, wonderful and honest as we can possibly be.” William Bass Tickets and information regarding Fu s e b o x s h o w s c a n b e p u r c h a s e d a t w w w. f u s e b o x f e s t i v a l . c o m | April 18, 2012


Music festival


Advice on attending a musical festival Summer is approaching and it’s the advent of the music festival season. Festivals like Coachella, Nocturnal Festival, Electric Daisy Carnival, Bonnaroo and Lollapalooza are coming, and that’s not even hitting the tip of the iceberg. But with all the excitement, there also comes your typical festival advice encouraging all you attendees to stay hydrated, get there early and to wear sunscreen. However, all that advice couldn’t even begin to prepare you for one of the most annoying aspects of music festivals: the people. Don’t get us wrong, we are all there to have a good time and people making fools out of themselves can definitely account for a good laugh. Just don’t annoy everyone else while doing so. With that being said, UWeekly is here to instill some festival etiquette for all you festival-goers.

If you fare on the heavier side Please don’t take your shirt off. No one is going to enjoy the show while you’re flailing your drenched shirt in the air while grinding your sweaty body amongst all the other people. We may sound blunt but it’s only because we are speaking for the people that are unlucky enough to be standing next to you. Yet, if you insist on taking your shirt off because of the unbearable heat, at least invest in some nice deodorant.

Even if you’re not overweight, still plan to invest in some long-lasting deodorant. No one likes smelly people whether you’re overweight or thin.

Don’t get super wasted Look, we all know everyone is going to do there fair share of drugs and alcohol. It’s inevitable. People get trashed and, chances are, you will too. But there are some people that go to the extremes and begin to streak and run around just to rouse attention. Not only are you making a fool out of yourself, but you are also running the risk of getting

Don’t: Engage in unwarrented crowd-surfing.

Don’t: Be the guy who’s randomly burning things. Espcially the American flag. Photo: Julie Patterson

kicked out of the festival, and no one wants that. Just don’t be extremely raucous and annoying to everyone around you while getting wasted.

Don’t be constantly on your phone Please don’t be those annoying people who are constantly on their phone updating their Facebook or Twitter statuses informing everyone every five seconds that a new band is on or you just heard your favorite song. There are two problems with this. First, you come off as a dick that is constantly bragging about the badass time you’re having while

If you really like this one song

April 18, 2012 |

Photo: Julie Patterson

Unwarranted crowd-surfing Is it even possible to crowd-surf to artists like Bon Iver, The Shins, and Feist? Look, crowd-surfing can be fun and we’ve all done it. If you hear Death Grips or At The Drive In, by all means, crowd-surf and start mosh pits all you want. Just don’t crowdsurf to songs that you don’t necessarily need to

All that advice couldn’t even begin to prepare you for one of the most annoying aspects of music festivals: the people. everyone else is sitting on their couch streaming the show on YouTube. Second, no one is going to care what you’re saying either. So instead of wasting your time updating your previous status, put your phone away and actually enjoy the festival.


request a song, the band is not going to take a break within their set to appease you. Seriously, if you’re requesting a song, you might as well be that loser who requests “Freebird.”

Please don’t request it, especially if it’s their newest single that they are bound to play later on in their set. And don’t insist on screaming the request during the small breaks between songs. Not only do you come off as that guy who is labeled as “Oh he’s not a true fan,” but also as that annoying dude who just won’t shut up. We understand everyone gets excited, so an occasional “Woo!” and consistent chanting of lyrics are expected. But even when you

do so for. You’ll just end up pissing off that guy you kicked in the face and hurting your back once you fall back to the ground.

Don’t be boring Despite our advice, don’t be quick to label us as judgmental hipsters. We know that everyone is going to have a good time, which often involves doing stupid things. Nothing can be more annoying than the typical sore losers telling everyone to calm down and relax or that guy who was clearly dragged along by their friends. At any music festival there are going to be people jumping up and down, chanting lyrics, and dancing. So if they are clearly not trying to bother you and are just having a great time, let them be. Don’t be an ass and ruin people’s fun. If you are, just stay at home. Alex Ramirez

Girls objectifying girls You wouldn’t want it done to you

Not so recently, I’ve noticed a disturbing trend among dykes and fems alike: girls objectifying other girls. At first, I didn’t get it. Then I kind of understood it. Now I just don’t get it at all nor agree with it. As someone who has both objectified and been objectified, I can safely say that neither leaves you feeling any better about yourself, any more empowered or any more likely to win a suitable mate. So why does it happen, and, more importantly, why does it happen so often?

Playas Since I typically keep assholes away from me, I don’t have any lesbian “player” friends to turn to for advice about this phenomenon. So the only way I can examine this trend is from afar, using the very scientific methods of generalizing and making assumptions. One thing I do know is that the majority of the lesbian players out there have a pronounced masculine side to them. They often cross-dress, talk with a low, bass-y voice and adopt other male-oriented mannerisms and habits. Unfortunately, in their quest to embody their masculinity and own their lesbianism, they’ve also adopted a trait from men that isn’t very savory. I’m sure you can guess what it is. But being a player isn’t limited to the very masculine, as I’ve seen plenty of fems turn heads and break hearts faster than you can order a tequila shot.

But why? That still leaves me questioning why they do it. What is the psychology behind women using other women? Most lesbians site the roving male eye as well as disrespect of women as a


April 18, 2012 |

couple reasons why they’re happy to be gay. But then they turn right around and do it to each other. This makes no sense. My only guess is that women who do this do so to get the upper hand in a relationship. For centuries, men have fooled themselves into thinking that they were the superior sex. They had big muscles and a need to dominate, but that doesn’t necessarily make them superior, does it? One can argue that the real superior gender has always been women, for they have what most men (and lots of other women) want. In the case of lesbians, both have what the other wants. And whoever wants it more has the disadvantage.

Who’s on top? Perhaps one reason why women objectify other women is to feel in control of how a relationship is progressing. Maybe it stems from intimacy issues, or out of issues with respect and loyalty. Maybe it’s because you never really liked that person to begin with, but they were an easy lay. Either way, every player I’ve ever known, male or female, had a lot of issues to work out because of it. As a woman who has enjoyed the company

“What is the psychology the person who chooses to come near you. Stopping it before it starts behind women using As humans with a sex drive, it’s normal to other women?” go through a phase where all you see are of other women, I know firsthand that courting and winning the affections of a woman is tough work! It can leave you confused, exhausted and contemplating a regression back to heterosexuality. In short, women are hard to figure out, even for other women. My guess is that the players of the lesbian world engage in this behavior because they have a heightened need for girl-sex and don’t want to always be the one risking rejection. If you keep your heart closed and your options open, you aren’t risking any real vulnerability. In fact, you are punishing

body parts, but there’s a difference between the occasional peek-down-her-shirt and a full-on need to punish women through your sexuality. Coupled with society’s need to turn women (and girls) into sex objects, the tendency to disrespect other women sexually can get out of control, fast. The best thing to do is to stop it before it starts. If you find yourself wanting women just to hit it and quit it, there might be something more below the surface. Only you know what it is. Just remember, it doesn’t feel good to be used, and you wouldn’t want it done to you. Amanda Chappel

celine suarez

Finish the game? Lol wut? As I was discussing video games with one of my co-workers, we both quickly realized that neither of us ever finish games. We both want to finish playing Darksiders before the sequel comes out, but we just can’t bring ourselves to finish it. I’ve noticed that some of my other gamer friends in college also have the same problem. I’d like to call this problem the “premature gaming syndrome.” We start games and continue for about three weeks and then move on to something else. It doesn’t matter if it’s a great game or not, we can’t finish it. I’ve diagnosed the cause of the problem to be time. Having homework and juggling two jobs will definitely leave any gamer with zero time. But I often wonder, can we blame this syndrome on our short attention spans? Are we doomed to suffer from short play forever? Will we have to resort to games like Angry Birds and Cut the Rope for the rest of our lives? Nay! I say we grab our controllers, take the problem by the cord and rip into these games. Brace yourselves, for summer is coming. We have much work to do.

EA takes notes, gives back access to gamers Among all the recent flak lately about EA, I actually have good news about them. Their digital gaming store and platform, Origin, has been continually banning people from games that they’ve paid for. If you violate their terms of service (in this case that means talking shit in the forums) then they’ll ban you from the forums. Easy enough. But this also meant that multiple users were banned from multiplayer games as well. EA called it a glitch, but this little glitch continued on for almost a year. I know some people take their shit-talking too far in the multiplayer world but it’s all part of the gaming culture (unfortunately). Very recently, EA has lifted this ban off of some of these users (kind of). These banned users are still banned from multiplayer mode but now they can play single-player mode offline. It’s ridiculous that it took this long for EA to

some penny pinching (more money for Vegas). This week’s game is called Tribes Ascend and it’s an FPS that’s set in the far future. To keep things short, it’s about an uprising of robots against humans. A scientist created robot slaves and thus they rebelled. It’s war, but that’s not what sets this game It’s great apart from every other that people can play In the midst of FPS. The game has now without fear of crunching for finals, awesome guns, but I’ve somehow been it also has jetpacks. gamers being assholes able to find a bunch of Yes, jetpacks! The online, but no one awesome free games. trailer for the game deserves to have Procrastination does advertises freedom bring lucrative results, of movement, and I their full access just not in the field can tell you it doesn’t taken away. that I expected. Until the lie. Fucking jetpacks. Just semester is over, I’ll feature a google this game and it’ll take game that’s up for download and you to the home screen. free. With summer coming up, we could use Celine Suarez respond to these issues. If I paid for a game, I’d better be able to play it. It’s great that people can play now without fear of gamers being assholes online, but no one deserves to have their full access taken away. It’s just wrong.

Free game time! | April 18, 2012


Ecstatic Dance offers the opportunity to dance into yourself, and beyond No one really seems to dance anymore. The feeling of letting one’s body move in directions dictated by the unconscious has been replaced by physical mating calls and jackassery. However, for those looking for an authentic dance experience that isn’t fraught with unwanted suitors and terrible dubstep music, there is Ecstatic Dance. Ecstatic Dance is a movement modality in which participants gather in a substancefree setting, free of expectations, and allow their bodies to move in whatever strange ways they please. While the participants must move in silence, the speakers do not. The music starts the class off in a loose fashion then proceeds to take participants’ minds and bodies on a shamanistic journey through their pores, drenching their bodies in sweat while cleansing their soul. “I think people feel very free in their bodies at an Ecstatic Dance,” said founder David Baker. “We really want to create a positive and free container in which people can express themselves without judgment and criticism through movement.” Indeed, while Ecstatic Dance is no doubt an engaging way to get one’s heart rate up, it functions as something more: a practice in which one’s psyche gets just as much of a workout as does the mind. “While I think Ecstatic Dance offers the same


April 18, 2012 |

mind/body workout as a yoga class, it is a much more intense opportunity for physical and mental release,” said Baker. For those who enjoy a simple night out with the gals—dancing on floors with sharks under them while sipping an appletini—a ladies’ night out can often turn into an awkward

While I think Ecstatic Dance offers the same mind/body workout as a yoga class, it is a much more intense opportunity for physical and mental release. scene from A Night at the Roxbury, with every Situation-wannabe violating your space with pelvic thrusts. Ecstatic Dance offers the opportunity for that same experience of stress relief, sans assertive spray-on-tan man and expensive bar tab. “I can understand the appeal of dancing in a club or bar,” said co-founder Ellen Baker. “However, I think a lot of women come for the

space in which they can express themselves fully and play without the feeling of constantly being infringed upon.” Likewise, for both sexes, one often has to ingest a myriad of libations before even feeling comfortable enough to do the foxtrot in front of others. On the contrary, Ecstatic Dance is a private, yet communal, judgment-free environment in which inhibitions organically fall away. “No one is watching, everyone is very absorbed in their own experience,” said Baker. “It is shocking to witness how quickly people realize that no one is watching, and can move through whatever they please in a safe environment.“ For some, the experience of Ecstatic Dance exceeds the sensations of merely one’s body. Moving in a group, with similar people in a similar conscious state, can assist with connecting to others in a non-verbal way while simultaneously letting one possibly connect with something that is very alien and, perhaps, strangely familiar. “When I peer open my eyes a little bit, I can see the whole room moving together like a school of fish,” said Ellen Baker. “For me, it really is an incredible experience of feeling everyone moving together; it feels like something mysterious, something ancient.” William Bass


Hino Photos: Elizabeth | April 18, 2012


e & Michael Huerequ Photos: EliWatson

Kappa Delta Chi ’s

the white horse

Young, Wild and Free event @ Karma

500 Comal Street

You’re this week’s winner! Contact us on Facebook to collect $25!*

the white horse

Kappa Delta Chi ’s

500 Comal Street

Kappa Delta Chi ’s Young, Wild and Free event @ Karma


April 18, 2012 |

Young, Wild and Free event @ Karma

the white horse 500 Comal Street

e & Michael Huerequ Photos: EliWatson

Kappa Delta Chi ’s Young, Wild and Free event @ Karma

the white horse 500 Comal Street

Kappa Delta Chi ’s Young, Wild and Free event @ Karma

the white horse 500 Comal Street

Kappa Delta Chi ’s Young, Wild and Free event @ Karma

*If your face is circled, you’re this week’s winner of Barstars! Contact us Mon through Wed (9–5 p.m.) to collect $25 cash! (Be sure to Facebook us to let us know you won!)

For more party pics, go to | April 18. 2012


Super Crossword

Crypto Quip This is a simple substitution cipher in which each letter used stands for another. If you think that X equals O, it will equal O throughout the puzzle. Solution is accomplished by trial and error.


April 18, 2012 |

weather or not




Ready to release album three years in the making

All’s been quiet on the Belaire front, but after returning to the stage during this year’s South by Southwest, the band will release their second full-length album on April 21 at 29th Street Ballroom at Spider House. The band sat down with UWeekly to discuss their reunion and what it was like to be in the documentary Echotone.

Where have you been in the last five years? Jason Chronis: I guess we had a long lull because we were a live band with new members for awhile, and we ended up dissolving the live band and trying to figure out what to do next. We had started recording a few songs for this record that we just finished, but I think we lost direction and didn’t know if we wanted to keep working on this. Cari Palazzolo: We ran into some serious personal challenges and triumphs. I went broke. I had to start a full-time job to make enough money to cover the bills. So during that time, that was I guess 2009, I lost focus and really just became a recluse actually. So it wasn’t until 2011 that we picked up recording again. It was literally a period of two years, a year and a half at least, that we were just deathly silent. Then 2011 came around. There were all sorts of triumphs and challenges, really awesome growing experiences, making mistakes and learning and connecting on the super grand scale similar to the grand scale of the album. The album has a real kind of epic nature.

Like a “We’re here! We’re back!” kind of epicness? CP: Yeah. In the last eight months of the year we finished off the album with some pretty full-time working. We worked really super hard. JC: At the end there, we were working ten hours a day, five days a week, sometimes more on the record for the last three to six months in there. We were working constantly. Just seemed like it never ended. There was so much work to do for it. CP: On top of that, we actually got some music-forhire work through a local ad company GSD&M here in town. We got to work with them, and that was kind of brutal but was a really great learning experience. That, I think, really put us into third gear.

Because Echotone came out in 2010 and you came back together in 2011, do you feel that put you back in people’s minds again?

CP: Kind of. The whole year passed by. They were editing it from 2008 to 2009. Then it came out in 2010 and the whole rest of the year went by. I was in this really weird mindset. I think being in that movie made me want to be a recluse. I think being exposed for the first time was really awkward for me. I just wanted to hide away, but after that year finished up, it was like a full year had to pass, and I was like, “Oh, ok, this needs to happen again.” Suddenly, Matt (Simon), Jason and I were like, “This needs to happen. Too much time has passed.” I think that was a lot to do with it. Like, why are we sitting on all this music for so long? JP: Yeah, I think for me also, seeing the movie out and hearing people talk about it made me feel like we should probably try to capitalize on this. There’s new people that didn’t know about the band that found out about it through the movie, and we should finish this album and just try to get it out there.

When you got back together, did you get into the groove pretty naturally? CP: Oh yeah, it was instant. JC: It was easy.

It just wasn’t the same. JC: Yeah, I think that’s one of the things that made us lose direction for a while there. Well I don’t know what to do from this point. But because the first album, 90 percent of it was recorded by just Cari and I, making the second album in a similar way was really easy because it was same way we had worked before.

Photo: Ryan Davis

Was this a home studio environment? JC: That’s where all three of us live. The studio is one that Matt and I have been building up since we first moved in to that house, which we moved in there seven years ago. Cari lived there when we first moved in. She just moved back in a few months ago.

Wait, so you lived with the drummer who left the entire time you were going through this? Both: Yeah. CP: He had other projects. He used to play in The Black. He still plays in The Black. They tour a lot. They play a lot around town. So he’s really busy with that. JC: Matt and I have been really good friends the whole time. Him and I played in Voxtrot together and lived together at the time. So it’s funny. We get a lot of exposure to each other, but we get along well. It’s rarely any problems. Even when he wasn’t playing with Belaire, it was still friendly relationship.

CP: But this time around, Matt was back.

CP: With him being back involved in the band really helped push, because Jason and I have a tendency to sit on ideas, and they’ll just stew forever and forever. Matt really helps. OK, well this needs to happen by tomorrow.

JC: Matt was more involved than he was even with the first album.

So you guys are officially back? More shows in the future?

CP: He has a lot of studio gear. He was really helpful facilitate resource-wise. I don’t think we would have been able to do it. His dad, too, is an awesome studio engineer. So he basically enabled the recording and mixing. Jason and I mixed with him.

CP: Yes, we’re playing at the end of May with tUnE-yArDs. So that’s gonna be fun. That’s also with a Girls Rock Camp band that my sister and I coached called Schmillion. That’s May 30 at the Mohawk. Sarah Vasquez | April 18, 2012




The Opposites Show

Thursday Night Social Club


@ The New Movement Theater, 1819 Rosewood Ave

@ ColdTowne Theater, 4803 Airport Blvd

@ The Mohawk, 912 Red River

►►Also Worthy

►►Also Worthy

►►Also Worthy

Hunx and his Punx

The Melvins


Red River Comedy

Nic Armstrong

Umphrey’s McGee

Robert Ellis

Off-Centered Film Fest

One Hit Wonders Sing-Along

Liquid Garden


Peligrosa DJs

Black Owl Society

Bedpost Confessions

Copa Kings

Patrick and Mark, in real life, are best buds. However, in real life also they hate each others’ guts. Good thing Pat and Mark are two of Austin’s funniest peeps. In this show, the duo vents their rage for each other through the mask of improvised characters. If only we were funny enough to do the same for our frenemies.

The top events & shows in Austin this week Will bass 28


The Mohawk, 912 Red River Red 7, 611 E 7th

Stubb’s, 803 Red River Red Eyed Fly, 715 Red River Hole in the Wall, 2538 Guadalupe

Upon entering heaven, or whatever preferred afterlife land that you subscribe to, after signing in and entering your email address, there will no doubt be delicious food and snacks waiting on a craft table to welcome you into the afterlife. Well, you don’t have to kill yourself or sit on your hands until you die to experience that. Even better, how about some improvised sketch comedy to pair with your cheese and wine platter. It’s a no-brainer.

The Mohawk, 912 Red River Hole in the Wall, 2538 Guadalupe Alamo S Lamar, 1120 S Lamar Ruta Maya, 3601 S Congress ND, 501 Brushy St

Brownout are probably the funkiest latinos since Cheech and Chong played Madison Square Garden. Comprised of members of Grammy award-winning salsa act Grupo Fantasma, Brownout travel in the funkier side of the musical spectrum. Likewise, the group infuses their funky spirits with an elixir of some psychedelic vibrations.

Southwestern University, Georgetown Stubb’s, 801 Red River Alamo Ritz, 320 E 6th Scoot Inn, 1308 E 4th The Highball, 1120 S Lamar

April 18, 2012 |





2815 GU







Music Monday:

Weird World of Blowfly @ Alamo Ritz, 620 E 6th

Who in the hell is Blowfly? For your information, he is one of the raunchiest rappers and musicians of all time. At the same time, he remains highly religious and substance-free. Weird World examines the contradictions of these worlds and Blowfly himself.

Austin Reggae Fest @ Auditorium Shores, 950 W Riverside

There is nothing that signals the coming of spring better than Austin Reggae Fest. Hula hoops, stoned people and reggae bands are the spring solstice of Austin. Even if you’ve never heard a lick of any of the bands on the lineup, this is one of those festivals that can be best experienced by just showing up and letting it all hang out instead of hustling from one stage to the next to never really listening to anything. One love, one life, let’s get together and be alright!


Free Play Day @ Kung Fu Saloon, 510 Rio Grande

►►Also Worthy

Sundays are the most apocalyptic day of the week. It is a day in which everything ends: your wallet, your self respect, the cleanliness of your toilet, hangovers so bad you might head to an evangelical church to seek healing. Might as well toast the apocalypse with a homeopathic dollar mimosa while playing vintage arcade games and skee ball. Don’t worry, it is what the Romans would do.

Michael Mordecai’s Jazz Jam

Elephant Room, 315 S Congress


The Mohawk, 912 Red River


Air Sex @ The Highball, 1120 S Lamar

Think you got the moves? Have you mastered the Rusty Trombone, the Abilene Alibi, the Easy LA Enchilada? Do you have what it takes to make vigorous love to nobody in front of strangers? Lets see what you got!

►►Also Worthy

►►Also Worthy

The Sword

Shabazz Palaces

Willie Nelson

Danny Malone

Best Short Films

Sketch Comedy Night Alamo Ritz, 620 E 6th

►►Also Worthy

Hoedown at The Highball

Ephraim Owens

Tittie Bingo

Emo’s East, 2015 E Riverside The Backyard, 13801 Bee Cave Pkwy Alamo S Lamar, 1120 S Lamar The Highball, 1120 S Lamar

Union Specific

Hole in the Wall, 2538 Guadalupe

The Mohawk, 912 Red River Hotel Vegas, 1500 E 6th

Lambert’s, 401 W 2nd

Kids Show: Big Don

Ruta Maya, 3601 S Congress

The Highball, 1120 S Lamar

Bear in Heaven Parish, 214 E 6th | April 18, 2012






FRI 4/20


WED 4/25

10:30-11:30 $3 MARSHALL HOOD 8:00-9:30 $5 MIKE DUBOSE 6:00-7:30 NO COVER

All ages all the time


SAT 4/21





8:00-9:30 $3 SOUL SHAKER 10:00-11:30 $3



8:00-10:00 TOM MELANCON 6:00-7:30 LAURE SILVA 10:30 NO COVER




►►Mooseknuckle Pub

2222 Rio Grande

406 E 6th

Mother Plucker Mugs

$2 Anything

►►Mooseknuckle Pub

►►The Library

406 E 6th

407 E 6th

$2 Pint Night

$1 Domestics, Wells $2 Import Bottles

►►Soho Lounge

►►Cain and Abel’s

217 E 6th

2313 Rio Grande

$2 wells/domestics

$8 32 oz. Texas Teas from 7 PM-close

►►Rooftop Bar

►►Tiniest Bar in Texas

2716 Guadalupe

817 W 5th

$4 Long Island Teas

$1 Bud Light and Bud

►►Darwin’s Pub

►►Darwin’s Pub

223 E 6th

223 E 6th

$2 wells/domestics from 12-9 PM

$2 Wells/Domestics 12-9 PM


►►Shakespeare’s Pub

409 W 30th

317 E 6th

$4.95 Sangria ritas

$4 bombs

►►Mi Casa Cantina

►►Bikini’s Sports Bar & Grill

503 E 6th

6901 I-35

$0.50 wells, $2.50 margaritas until 11 PM

$4 Big Daddy Drafts

►►Coyote Ugly

►►Ginger Man

501 E 6th

301 Lavaca

$2.50 wells and wine

Logo Pint Night

►►Cuba Libre

►►Dizzy Rooster

409 Colorado

306 E 6th

$2 Wells

$2 Domestic/Wells/Jello Shots

►►Rain on 4th

217 W 4th

$1.50 Lite Beers, $2.50 Wells

►►Maggie Mae’s

323 E 6th

$2 Wells


1004 24th

$2 Tecates and Modelo Esp. $5 Deer and Beer

Opal Divine’s Freehouse 700 West 6th Street Out of the three city-wide locations Opal Divine’s has in Austin, none are quite as “downtown-ey” as Opal Divine’s Freehouse, thanks to its prominent Sixth Street location. Although it’s not exactly free as the name may imply, Opal’s still does what it can for its customers with drink specials every day including “Top Shelf Sundays” and “Belgian Beer Mondays” in what Opal’s likes to boast is the best happy hour in Austin. Oh, yeah, and the food? Forget about it. It will be damn near impossible for you to be dissatisfied with a menu that includes the likes of a nacho burger and something they call a Shroom-N-Onion. Plus they serve brunch! When was the last time you heard of a bar that sold brunch? Just now. At Opal Divine’s.

Brian Bogart

April 18, 2012  
April 18, 2012  

UWeekly Austin April 18, 2012