UStudy personal essay guide

Contents

• Essay prompts • Picking a topic • Your essay should …

• Do’s • Don’ts • Structure • Examples (draft 1 and final draft so you can see how an essay evolves)

Essay Prompt 1

Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it.

If this sounds like you, then please share your story.

Think about • Your community, environment, family, and culture • What you are deeply curious about and how you spend your time • What makes you proud • People and experiences that have shaped your life Ask yourself • What is missing from the rest of my application?

• Is there context to help colleges understand who I am?

Essay Prompt 2

The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience?

Think about • All obstacles: big, small, personal, and societal • Hardships faced by family or friends that also impacted you • Unresolved challenges you’re still struggling with Ask yourself • How did I cope? How did I grow?

• Who helped me?

Essay Prompt 3

Reflect on a time when you questioned or challenged a belief or idea.

What prompted your thinking? What was the outcome?

Think about • Anywhere you spend time: school, clubs, work, home, place of worship • Everyone you interact with: friends, teammates, family, teachers, coaches Ask yourself • Did the experience clarify or change my values?

• What was the impact on my relationships?

• Did I surprise myself—or anyone else?

Essay Prompt 4

Reflect on something that someone has done for you that has made you happy or thankful in a surprising way. How has this gratitude affected or motivated you?

Think about • All types of interaction: Compliments, criticism, gifts, advice, support • People who know you well and people who don’t Ask yourself • What made the interaction surprising?

• How did I feel?

• How did I react?

Essay Prompt 5

Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others.

Think about • The full range of your achievements, both public and private • Small or everyday experiences that had a powerful impact on you • Times when you were surprised by what you learned or discovered Ask yourself • How did I change?

• How can I continue to grow?

• How can I share what I learned with others?

Essay Prompt 6

Describe a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging it makes you lose all track of time. Why does it captivate you? What or who do you turn to when you want to learn more?

Think about • How you choose to spend your free time • Your hobbies, your classes • What you read, what you write, what you create Ask yourself • How did my curiosity start?

• What does this interest tell others about me?

• What does this interest tell me about myself?

Essay Prompt 7

Share an essay on any topic of your choice. It can be one you’ve already written, one that responds to a different prompt, or one of your own design.

Think about • What you want to share, not what you think colleges want to hear • Topics that reveal who you are and what matters to you Ask yourself • Does this essay provide new information to my colleges?

• Is there anything left unsaid in my application?

Picking a Topic

Think about the following • What has been the hardest thing in my life?

• What has been difficult for me to accomplish?

• When have I felt inadequate and how did I deal with those feelings?

• If I had to quickly replay my life, which two or three moments would jump out ahead of all the others?

• What do I regard as my greatest victory?

• What in the world utterly fascinates me?

• Which of my relationships have I worked at the hardest?

• Have I ever made a discovery that thrilled me?

• Have I ever felt betrayed?

• What has held me back from realizing my ambitions?

• What is the funniest thing that ever happened to me?

• Have I ever felt pure rage?

• What fills me with pride?

• When did my mind and body feel in perfect harmony?

• What have I done that “they” said couldn’t be done?

• What object or possession holds the most meaning for me?

• If I can’t sleep at night, what’s keeping me up?

Once you have answered these questions, think about which of your various answers will provide some kind of conflict and resolution that will make for a good essay.

Your essay should....

Tell a story— An essay is a story that you have written about yourself, and if it feels that way, and it is a good story, people will enjoy reading it.

Make sense — Write clearly enough that someone else can understand and relate to your experiences and ideas.

Be interesting—Writing in an engaging and interesting way can be very challenging. You do not want your reader to fall asleep as you describe your favorite goldfish and why he mattered.

Be well-organized—If your essay does not follow a clear narrative, your reader might get lost. You can use the classic introduction/ body/ conclusion structure, or start your essay in the middle of the action, and go from there. Anything is fine, if it flows well.

Tell something important/interesting/unique about you (something that cannot be seen on anywhere else in the application) For example - If you are in a chess club and through your experiences there you learned that by planning and working hard, you could improve at chess, which you never thought possible, and now you realize the secret to success—you can write about that, because that insight is not on your resume. The same goes for anything else that might be on a resume/transcript/letter etc. Only if there is an additional and critical dimension to that experience, and that is something you think colleges needs to know about you, should write about it.

If, however, you just want to talk about what a great chess player you are —NO!! Do not do that!! Dig deeper, think more broadly, and pick a better

websites

https://apply.jhu.edu/essays-worked-2019/ https://www.thoughtco.com/common-application-essay-prompts-788383 27 Outstanding College Essay Examples From Top Universities 2023 ( collegeessayguy.com) 14 College Essay Examples From Top-25 Universities (2023–2024) — Shemmassian Academic Consulting (shemmassianconsulting.com)

Do

• Start on time • Write it yourself. If your editor gets the idea an adult has helped then admissions officers will feel the same way, and this could result in not being accepted • Expect to write 3 or 4 drafts • Be honest • Use clear and direct language • Use string verbs and precise nouns • Show, do not just ‘tell’ • Use an authentic voice (sound like yourself) • Stick to the word limit (it is OK if your first draft is 700 words, your editor can easily remove 50 words) • Check spelling and grammar

Do NOT

• Try to be something/someone you are not • Be dishonest • Use quotations from famous people • Write about events with no deeper or broader point • Repeat information that is found elsewhere in the application (for example in the sports/academic resume, transcripts or activities section of the Common Application) • Write about a sad event with no deeper or broader point • Write about your sports unless it is really about a specific part (setback for example). Talk to your editor first if you want to write about sport • Use language that you would not normally use • Try to make yourself look smarter by using complicated sentence structure

Structure introduction

THE HOOK Start with a statement that catches the reader’s attention, it could be a fact, or a question.

Example ‘In 2013 loud sirens could be heard. 3 police cars, 3 ambulances, 2 fire trucks and a trauma helicopter were on their way to a car accident’ SET THE SCENE Provide information the reader will need to understand the story: Who are the major characters? When and where is it taking place?

Example ’They were coming to help my sister, grandmother, and me.

We had been driving to a hospice to visit my grandfather for the last time; it was going to be our goodbye’

Structure - body

SHOW DON’T TELL Think about using all five senses to add details about what you heard, saw, and felt during the event.

Example ‘My heart jumped as the dark shape of the brown grizzly lurched toward me out of the woods’ provides more information about what the writer saw and felt than, ‘I saw a bear when I was hiking’.

SUPPORTING EVIDENCE The events of the story should demonstrate the lesson learned, or the significance of the event to you Example ‘I realized that no matter what comes my way, I have the choice of how to deal with it. That knowledge has made me a stronger person, given me peace of mind, and has supported my belief that I can achieve great things’, TIME Writing chronologically is generally the clearest way. Words such as next, finally, during, after, when, and later can be used.

Example 1, draft 1

We are approaching the end of another year; Black Friday, Thanksgiving and Christmas are over. We fulfilled ourselves by purchasing presents for the people around us. Studies have shown that we spend eighteen % more money during these final months of the year. Gilles Lipovetsky, a French philosopher and author of ‘Society of the Temptation’, states in his book ‘we spend so much money due to temptation’. So what we purchase is not just the product, it is the experience that comes with purchasing that product. Since the competition in the market is greater than we have ever experienced, companies will not survive if they do not seduce us, because who will buy their product if it is not pleasing to the eye? This temptation influences the way we, as a society, think about life and what we find important in life. Purchasing almost becomes a goal in life.

Why am I writing this? Well, because I am totally failing to resist the temptation of buying presents for my family, friends and yes, also for myself. It was only yesterday that I bought fake nails for just a dollar at Primark, a store that basically invented child labor. At that moment did I think about the effects of buying this product? Sure! I felt, be it small, a peak of guilt the moment I step into Primark. Did that withhold me from buying something? No! So was I tempted by its looks and low price? Definitely. This realization, not for the first time, makes me curious. Why do we keep on purchasing, what will be the consequences of seeing purchasing as a goal in life and is it possible to step away from this poor ideal?

What I learned in my Economics class, but what I forget when I step into a store, is that an increase in consumption leads to increased production. We produce by using commodities and we have been draining those since the start of the Industrial Revolution. Although we want to infinitely keep on consuming, we are not capable of an infinite production. Eventually we will meet a planetary boundary where the earth does not co-operate anymore. Until then it will ironically be the economic elite who can keep on taking advantage and the rest of society who will have to pack their bags.

Thinking about this economic inequality, I remembered a french economist, Thomas Pikkety. In his book, ‘Capital in the 21st century’, he writes about the social income and capital inequality. The central theorem of the book is that r>g, with r being the net return (on capital) and g being economic growth. In the long run this will lead to a concentration of wealth in the hands of the economic elite and to economic instability, according to Pikkety. In his view, the only way to counteract, is to let the government intervene.

So back to my question - Is it possible to step away from this poor ideal, where we see purchasing as a life goal? There are two sides to every story and this is no exception. I realize that it is hard to expect people to give up on their capital. To share their homes with people who have little and to not fall for the temptations. I understand that the world’s wealth is in the hands of the economic elite. Is that a bad thing? The problem I see is that the economic power will exceed the political power. Economic principles in our society are based on achieving maximum profit. To do so there is no holding back in tempting society to purchase. And when we finally meet our planetary boundary only a few of us will be able to buy that little house on the mountain top or move to Mars. But first I will put on my fake nails and

Example 1, final draft

Only yesterday I was standing in Primark, a store that basically invented child labor and microplastic pollution. I picked up a little box with blue sparkling fake nails, marked with a sticker that said 1$ and walked over to the checkout. At that moment did I think about the effects of buying this product? Sure! I felt, be it small, a peak of guilt the moment I stepped into Primark. Did that stop me from buying something? No, it did not. So, was I tempted by its looks and low price? Definitely.

As I walked home, holding that Primark shopping bag, I wondered where that peak of guilt came from and why was it not stronger? Could it be I am afraid that spending money on something that, if I am honest is useless, it will not stop there? I have perfectly healthy nails, so why do I need fake ones?

Or am I afraid I will eventually find myself with no money and a pile of useless products? But I realized I am good at dealing with money, temptation has never led me to spend beyond my expenses. Yes, I could have put that dollar to a better cause, but I do not think the money is where my guilt came from.

What I learned in my Economics class, but forget when I step into a store, is that an increase in consumption leads to increased production. If we continue this way, we will eventually meet a planetary boundary where the earth does not cooperate anymore.

At home I separate waste: paper, glass, plastic, tins, and food waste. I even separate the plastic window from the paper envelope, and I am genuinely happy to do so. After watching the documentary ‘What the Health’ I transferred from an omnivore into a convinced vegan in one day. Yet, that doesn’t stop me from taking a detour for a Primark experience, or ordering Kim Kardashian’s latest lipstick online. When it comes to buying, I am weak. I could cut myself some slack, because I do not only shop at Primark. I think that more than half of my clothes are from vintage stores. But hey, vintage happens to be fashionable and I just buy two instead of one item. I could open my own vintage store.

While gluing on my new nails, all these thoughts tumble through my head. After a while I stumble on a new one. Temptation is often seen as something that is wrong, and something that should be avoided.

Maybe that peak of guilt I felt was because I ‘think’ I should feel guilty? Because society says I should. I do not like to think that that is who I am. I see myself as someone who forms her own opinion and not just blindly follows others. After having put on my nails, I can tell you it was not a bad purchase. I enjoyed wearing them on New Year’s Eve and receiving compliments. Could I have lived without them? Yes of course, but then I don’t need those second pair of shoes either. The decision between pleasure and doing ‘the right thing’ is a very difficult one and apparently, at that moment in Primark, pleasure was more important. But I now understand it is OK to be tempted and sometimes buy something you do not particularly need. So next time I am shopping and see something shiny and sparkling, I might buy it, but if

Example 2, draft 1 There is one thing people always remember me by; I am small. My ethnicity is (mostly) Indonesian, but I was born in the Netherlands, a country known for its tall people. I grew up surrounded by people bigger than me, and have always been the shortest in class. Except for not being able to see anything at concerts and struggling to get plates from the top cabinet, I have never been bothered by my height, and didn’t realize it would have such an impact on my life.

When I was eight, the school doctor told my mom that I had to see an endocrinologist, because I was not growing like the average Dutch child. It was concluded that I had a disorder, named Growth Hormone Deficiency (GHD). My body was not making enough growth hormone so I was growing at a slower rate than everyone else. With this condition, your growth plates close at puberty and you stop growing completely. My height when fully grown was expected to be 4’8. The solution to this was an injection every three weeks to postpone my puberty. The problem is that puberty starts at different ages for everybody so I had to go to the hospital for blood tests every three months to monitor my hormone levels.

When I was eleven, the process could finally begin. The first injections were terrible, I fear needles, so would sit at the doctor for an hour, crying before finally giving the sign for him to give me the injection.

Side effects were fatigue, muscle pain, headaches and mood changes. It turned out I was allergic to the drugs, so I had to take pills as well, which made me even more tired than I already was; my friends started to wonder why I was ill so often. The Dutch school system is different, in your final year at junior school you take exams to decide which level of ‘high school’ education you will attend. I did well in my exams and was advised to go to Gymnasium, the highest level where only the top 7% of students go.

Due to my treatment it was difficult for me to keep up with my classmates and to be active in class. My mom saw how it affected me and asked me thousands of times if I still wanted to continue, but I was so determined to go on, that I did everything I could to achieve my goal, even if that meant physically and mentally draining myself, because I did not want to be a burden on my family and friends.

However, I did not only complete the process, but I also made the choice to extend it for another two years. Even though I had a hard time not falling apart, I wanted to continue, because the goal I set for my height was 4’11 and I was not there yet. I got extra tablets; hormones. My body was in war with itself, because the injections suppressed the hormones and the tablets tried to add them, but I carried on. I am proud of myself and I am not afraid to say it. I made choices that I did not like, but I knew they were for the better.

I never wanted to make a big deal out of the situation, but looking back at it two years later I realize how strong I was. To make such an important decision at such a young age is not something every child does.

Writing this essay forced me to think about my feelings towards what actually happened and analyze it. I could not do that during the situation, because I was scared of losing focus if I would allow myself to process everything.

Now I am 5’0, even taller than the set goal. Goals without actions are just wishes.

Example 2 final draft There is one thing people always remember me by; my height! My2, ethnicity is (mostly) Indonesian, but I was born in the Netherlands, a country known for tall people. I grew up surrounded by people bigger than me and have always been the shortest in class. Except for not being able to see at concerts and struggling to get plates from the top cabinet, my height never bothered me, and I didn’t realize the huge impact it would have on my life.

When I was eight, the school doctor said I had to see an endocrinologist, because I was not growing like the average Dutch child. It was concluded I had Growth Hormone Deficiency (GHD). My body was not making enough growth hormone so I was growing at a slower rate. With this condition, your growth plates close at puberty and you stop growing completely; I would then only be 4’8”. The solution to this was an injection every three weeks to postpone puberty. The problem is puberty starts at different ages, so I had to go for blood tests every three months to monitor my hormone levels.

When I was eleven, the process could finally begin. The first injections were terrible, I am scared of needles, so I would cry for an hour before finally giving the sign for the doctor to start. Side effects were fatigue, muscle pain, headaches and mood changes. It turned out I was allergic to the drugs, so had to take extra pills as well, which made me even more tired; my friends started to wonder why I was ill so often. During a Biology lesson hormones were explained, and this was the perfect opportunity to tell my classmates about my condition. The Dutch school system is different; in your final year at junior school you take exams to decide which level of ‘high school’ education you will attend. I am ambitious so aiming for the highest level where the top students go was the only option for me; I succeeded. Due to my treatment it was difficult to keep up with the work and be active in class. My mom saw this and asked me thousands of times if I wanted to stop the treatments or go to a lower school level. I was determined to continue with both, and did everything to achieve my goal, even if that meant physically and mentally draining myself, because I did not want to be a burden on my family and friends, or fail.

However, I did not only complete the process, I choose to extend it for another two years. I felt like falling apart, but wanted to continue anyway, as I was not at my goal of 4’11. For many, those 3 extra inches may not seem like a huge difference, but to me, every inch counted as a victory, because my body and I had to fight really hard for each one of them. My body was at war with itself, I had injections to suppress the hormones and tablets to increase them, but I carried on.

To make such an important decision is not something every child does. Writing this essay has forced me to think about what I went through, and to analyze my feelings. During the treatment I could not process everything, I just had to focus on the treatment, manage each day at a time, and overcome any problem that arose.

I never wanted to make a big deal out of the situation, but looking back now, I realize how strong I was.

I am proud of myself; I made choices that I did not like, but I knew they were for the better.

Now I am 5’0, even taller than the original goal. Goals without actions are just wishes.

Example 3, draft 1 conclusion Sport is war; when the game starts, there is just one goal, winning. Everything that’s in your way, blocking the victory line, must be conquered. An athlete spends thousands of hours of practicing, sacrificing and suffering for his sport, all for that one moment of glory; It is my life.

As a squash player, it’s just me and my opponent on a closed court. Our sport is often compared to the gladiators in the colosseum from ancient Rome. Rallies are intense and sometimes gruelingly long; you must wait for your chance to deliver the final blow. However, before a gladiator steps into the ring, years of preparation have gone by. Squash demands the same range of capabilities to be able to succeed. It’s the reliance on so many different aspects of me as a human being that makes it so interesting. The nature of the sport makes the way you play defining.

The gate opens, I enter the court and nod to my opponent. I practice a few shots with my sword until the referee, our emperor, calls time. From now on, winning or losing will mean the same as life and death. Although I am a heroic gladiator I know I will also have to use my skills in a game of chess. Back and forward, slowly setting out my tactical strategy until my opponent gets trapped in my web. I wait for an opening and when found I utilize it, not to kill but to use as an investment for the latter stages of the fight. I like to make the rallies long, luring my opponent to making a careless decision and then counterpunch.

I must be the toughest guy out there. I am ready to play for hours and hours, to break him down. My rival is playing unfairly, bending the rules; however, the referee doesn’t acknowledge my opinion.

Earlier in my career this would have unsettled me, but not anymore. Injustice is something I will never agree with but I know how to control myself. Through self-analysis I have seen my weakest points and turned them into strengths. If I don’t lose my head I will be alright; my drive will never let me down.

He is getting tired; I can see it in his eyes. The burning sand under my sandals doesn’t faze me. All the work that has been done is now paying off; I would never forgive myself if I lose because of being unfit.

I love to feel my muscles burning, total exhaustion and then the relief that it’s all over, only until I am back in that gym again. Seeing my opponent break down is the ultimate reward.

In the beginning, it looked like the other guy would easily beat me; technically he was superior. His style of play and shots, way more interesting than mine. I guess 99 percent of the Romans put their money on him; too bad for them - as is often said ‘not everything is what it looks like’. Through hard work I developed enough skills to battle with him and it’s because of all my combined strengths that I am now coming out on top.

His guard is down, victory is mine. I hit the last shot and the emperor shouts ‘game and match Goossens’. I go back through the gate knowing I will soon be back, to again taste victory.

This gladiator/squash story is a metaphor for me as a person. When I tried to start writing my essay I found it difficult to describe myself but then I realized my personality shines through in my sport. How I deal with the four aspects of squash; tactically, mentally, physically and technically, is how I deal with life; ‘The way I play is who I am’

Example 3, final draft conclusion

Sport is war; when the game starts, there is just one goal, winning. Everything that’s in your way, blocking the victory line, must be conquered. An athlete spends thousands of hours of practicing, sacrificing and suffering for his sport, all for that one moment of glory; It is my life.

As a squash player, it’s just me and my opponent on a closed court. Our sport is often compared to the gladiators in the colosseum from ancient Rome. Rallies are intense and sometimes gruelingly long; you must wait for your chance to deliver the final blow. However, before a gladiator steps into the ring, years of preparation have gone by. Squash demands the same range of capabilities to be able to succeed. It’s the reliance on so many different aspects of me as a human being that makes it so interesting. The nature of the sport makes the way you play defining.

The gate opens, I enter the court and nod to my opponent. I practice a few shots with my sword until the referee, our emperor, calls time. From now on, winning or losing will mean the same as life and death. Although I am a heroic gladiator I know I will also have to use my skills in a game of chess. Back and forward, slowly setting out my tactical strategy until my opponent gets trapped in my web. I wait for an opening and when found I utilize it, not to kill but to use as an investment for the latter stages of the fight. I like to make the rallies long, luring my opponent to making a careless decision and then counterpunch.

I must be the toughest guy out there. I am ready to play for hours and hours, to break him down. My rival is playing unfairly, bending the rules; however, the referee doesn’t acknowledge my opinion. Earlier in my career this would have unsettled me, but not anymore. Injustice is something I will never agree with but I know how to control myself. Through self-analysis I have seen my weakest points and turned them into strengths. If I don’t lose my head I will be alright; my drive will never let me down.

He is getting tired; I can see it in his eyes. The burning sand under my sandals doesn’t faze me. All the work that has been done is now paying off; I would never forgive myself if I lose because of being unfit. I love to feel my muscles burning, total exhaustion and then the relief that it’s all over, only until I am back in that gym again. Seeing my opponent break down is the ultimate reward.

In the beginning, it looked like the other guy would easily beat me; technically he was superior. His style of play and shots, way more interesting than mine. I guess 99 percent of the Romans put their money on him; too bad for them - as is often said ‘not everything is what it looks like’. Through hard work I developed enough skills to battle with him and it’s because of all my combined strengths that I am now coming out on top.

His guard is down, victory is mine. I hit the last shot and the emperor shouts ‘game and match ******’. I go back through the gate knowing I will soon be back, to again taste victory.

This gladiator/squash story is a metaphor for me as a person. When I tried to start writing my essay I found it difficult to describe myself but then I realized my personality shines through in my sport. How I deal with the four aspects of squash; tactically, mentally, physically and technically, is how I deal with life; ‘The way I play is who I am’

Example 4, draft 1 conclusion

Environmental innovations have the potential to contribute to a greener world, provided they are properly developed, applied and implemented. The fact that people often do not go for the maximum result concerning the reduction of the things people require of the world, made me wonder why we do not take advantage of the knowledge and innovations today: the world nowadays is at our fingertips, we only have to reach out for it; make a little effort.

Ever since I started in high school, the question about how to feed the growing world population in the near future without causing damage to the environment, bothered me. To add clarity: I am not a vegetarian, nor a vegan. I am just really concerned of the direction the world is heading, and I think that the current generation, and the generations to come, could make a change. The diet we know now, includes lots of meat, animal fats and dairy products. For these kinds of products, the ecological footprint is enormous. The ecological footprint measures the supply of and demand on nature. The cultivation of silage like grain and wheat, for example, requires a lot of water. In fact, one needs 1.000 liters of water to produce 1 kilogram wheat. And if that is not yet enough, the production of 1 kilogram of beef requires 16.000 liters of water. This water could be of better use as drinking water in areas of drought. There has to be a better way for the world population and the environment. An alternative of the consumption of meat could be the consumption of insects. Whereas the production of beef needs tons and tons of water and uses valuable energy resources (which are finite), the production of our little annoying ‘friends’ called insects, demands less of the world.

They simply live from our garbage and food rests, or as the United Nations state in their report on feeding the world population in 2050: ‘A benefit of insects as an alternative animal protein source is that they can be reared sustainably on organic side stream (e.g. manure, pig slurry and compost).’ In combination with adding more greens and herbs to our diet, substituting meat for insects could release pressure we put on the world. So why do people not eat insects more often yet? Probably because the idea of actually eating, and therefore swallowing, those creepy creatures scares people off.

When people speak of fighting global warming, they often refer to the placement of solar panels on rooftops and the acquisition of hybrid vehicles. Although I experience that too little effort is put in the change of diets in order to decrease the physical pressure on the earth, I think much more could be achieved by actually transform our eating habits into patterns that fit the present generation better.

What is the impact on the environment and the world as a whole if we substitute some of our beef included meals, with more environmental-friendly meals consisting out of natural elements like insects, herbs and other sorts of green. The adjustment to the solution mentioned above alone, would already decrease the ecological footprint tremendously. But too little action is taken. If we want to help the earth we have to realize that we cannot just stay on the sidelines and watch. We do not have to totally substitute beef, dairy products and animal fats, but reducing its consumption would already be a start of an evolution where meat is mostly excluded out of diets. I would really like to discover the underlying reasons why not many people adjust their eating patterns in order to help the world. Maybe I could even help them with these profound changes in achieving a better world for all of us.

Example 4, final draft conclusion

Like many other people, I want to live life to the fullest, in a clean and safe environment; this however, is easier said than done. The air nowadays is polluted with greenhouse gasses, to live a ‘clean’ life, changes are required. Environmental innovations have the potential to contribute to a greener world, provided they are properly developed, applied and implemented. Often people do not achieve maximum results concerning pollution reduction. I wonder why we do not take advantage of the knowledge and possibilities available. The world is at our fingertips, we only have to reach out for it; make a little effort.

Ever since I saw Al Gores’ documentary on climate change in high school, I became curious about how to feed the world’s growing population without causing damage to the environment. To add clarity: I am not a vegetarian, nor a vegan. I am just concerned about the direction the world is heading, and I think that the current generation, and the generations to come, need to make changes. Our current diet includes lots of meat, animal fats and dairy products; for these kinds of products, the ecological footprint is enormous. The cultivation of crops like grain and wheat, for example, requires a lot of water, which could be of better use.

There must be a way to produce sufficiently, effectively and safely for the population and the environment.

When people speak of fighting global warming and the damage to the world, they often refer to the placement of solar panels on rooftops and the acquisition of hybrid vehicles. This is of course important, but there is more to be done. I think much more could be achieved by transforming our eating habits into patterns that fit the present generation better. I believe that it is a good idea to substitute some of our beef meals, with a more environmental-friendly product; insects. Many people forget, never knew, or even care how much greenhouse gasses livestock emits; especially cows, who emit methane. Insects could be an alternative, and would help reduce one of the pressures we put on the world. ‘Cultivating’ insects requires less water; the production of beef needs huge amounts and also valuable energy resources, whereas the production of our little annoying ‘friends’ called insects, demands less of the world. They simply live from our garbage, food remnants and even manure. So why do people not eat insects? Probably because the idea of actually eating, and therefore swallowing, those creepy creatures scares people; me included!

The consumption of insects is just one idea, and I do not say that we ahould substitute beef totally, but there are many more ways to be more environmentally friendly. I would like to explore the undiscovered secrets the earth holds for us, to find new resources. This is also the reason why I am interested in studying geology or health/sports management; to change the sustainability of the earth in combination with a healthy lifestyle, to be more involved and inspire other people to live better. I want to make people aware of the fact that climate change is NOT a hoax, by getting in touch with both political and non-political organizations for example. Everyone has different lifestyles and can help in various ways. Whether that would be by lowering their meat consumption, by cycling to school/work instead of driving, or by joining an organization such as Greenpeace, every little bit will help achieve a better world for all of us and future generations. So, next time you see that annoying fly, think twice before electrifying it with a zapper racket; it could be your next-day breakfast.

Example 5, draft 1 I was about to begin a new period in my life: High school. I was excited, but a little nervous about making new friends, so I was happy that 2 classmates were going to the same school, and one of them I had known since birth and we had been close ever since.

On day one I immediately clicked with another girl in my class and with our combined friends we formed a group of 8. We all got along very well and I was very happy with the friends I had. We hung out together, and I could talk to them about everything, in theory.

In ninth grade things slowly started to change. Our group of 8 had become a group of 4 and my friends started befriending some other people. At first, the other people were fun to be around, and I got along well. As the year went on, I started to feel more and more excluded from my friends, like they had made new friends, moved on and became different kind of people. We started to grow apart, and quarantine didn’t help with that either My friend who I had known since birth and I both wanted to discuss the matter, but I noticed we found it difficult to bring up the conversation. I felt as though the friendship was spiraling, and I didn’t talk to anybody about it. Eventually my parents noticed and suggested we had a conversation, one turned into multiple. After each conversation things started to look up, but for some reason my feeling of exclusion and loneliness did not go away.

In grade 10 you pick your subjects and we all parted into different classes. In comparison to when I was twelve, I looked forward to making new friends on my own. It was hard at first because many of the friendship groups have been formed over the previous 3 years; I felt like an intruder. Luckily, a girl in my class gave a birthday party and I was invited and that was a turning point for me, because I felt welcomed and happy without any of my old friends around.

I also had a coach for some time and she helped me in the process of getting over the hurt I experienced during that hard time. From then on, I rarely talked to my old friends.

I’ve always struggled with truly opening up and talking about my feelings. Looking back on it now, I was scared to make myself vulnerable and truly express myself, because I thought people wouldn’t like or even accept me if I did.

I still struggle with making myself vulnerable towards people, but I know now that if I do, it will make the friendships and connections I make ten times stronger.

And the chance that someone might not like me is always present, but I know that that person just isn’t someone I would want in my life, and that is okay with me now.

Example 5, final draft I was about to begin a new period in my life; high school. I was excited, but a little nervous about making friends, so was happy my best friend was going to the same school.

On day one I immediately clicked with another girl and our combined friends formed a group of 8. But, in ninth grade things changed when new classes separated us and those friendships faded, although I still had my best friend. As time went on, we met other people and although I got along with them, I felt excluded. I had no connection with them, I was present, but not included and felt sad, rejected, and insecure. My best friend and I spent less time together; our bond was fading, and I felt lonely.

Then, a very good friend of ours made a nasty comment about me. I phoned her but she kept being mean, saying I had never been a good friend and was dishonest. I was so angry, these comments came out of nowhere and made no sense. At that moment, I was so distressed, I just sat and cried. I was still emotional when 5 minutes later my best friend phoned. I instantly knew our friend had told her, but thought she would be on my side, or at least hear my version. In that moment, the world turned upside down when she said it was my fault. I told her our friendship was over and hung up the phone. I was so hurt by her.

She texted my mother upset, asking why I would end 15 years of friendship. I knew I said things I didn’t mean and wanted the chance to save our friendship. We met but I was so hurt that I stayed quiet as saying what I really thought would ruin the chance of reconciling our friendship. Several conversations followed and I thought about when we were kids and how much fun we had. That nostalgia was nice, but also made me sad, because that special time was over. At one point we looked at each other and both let out a little laugh over the seemingly redundant situation we were in.

We tried to maintain the friendship but kept falling into the same pattern of not really talking, then reaching out, hanging out more, not really talking again. When we hung out, I had a fun time, but felt we were fooling ourselves pretending everything was fine. I realized we were just growing apart as we both changed and gradually lost contact. It was like we became indifferent to each other.

I have never shown my feelings easily. I have always been resilient, and I like that part of myself, but the downside is I don’t give myself time to process, or talk about my feelings. This situation made me aware of the power of vulnerability in friendships and relationships. When I show my feelings, I connect on a deeper level, which makes me happier and more at ease, creating closer bonds.

It is still hard to talk about my feelings. If I get into an argument my first instinct is to sweep the problem under the carpet. In that moment I think saying what is on my mind will push away the other person and make them dislike me. Luckily, I have made some very good friends whom I can rely on and talk to so now, if a discussion occurs, I take moment to reflect on myself and the situation, and chose to be honest and address the problem, instead of avoiding it.

I lost a friend these past years, but gained so much more self-awareness and as I enter the next new period in my life, college, I am excited and know I don’t have to be nervous about making new friends.

Example 6, draft 1 conclusion Every athlete has experienced it, the coach has you on the bench for the entire match. Insecurity slowly creeps into your head, the fear of being dropped, abandoned by the team because you are not good enough. When I was 12, I got selected to play in a professional field hockey team. I was the outsider, the loner. All the other girls went to the same school and even though I really tried my best and become friends with my teammates. I was a very quiet girl who was everything but confident, a girl who never dared to talk and always followed the rest of the group. It is always that kind of girl that gets picked on a lot by coaches and trainers from my point of view.

Pre-season selection felt like the most important weeks of my life. I was physically exhausted but the hardest part was still to come. Would I get chosen? I felt such stress waiting for that phone call which would determine my future in field hockey. The phone rang and I remember it like it was yesterday, my heart sank to the bottom of my stomach, and I felt like there was no oxygen in my lungs. I have always wondered why they picked me; out of 24 girls who participated, the quiet, unconfident girl gets chosen.

Then the real work began where I had to practice until I could not breathe, was almost unable to walk, felt my heart pounding in every part of my body. At the end of the school week I had to play a good match. At least that is what I thought, you are picked for a team so you play in a match. So it came as a big surprise to me that in every game I was only allowed a maximum of 10 minutes on the pitch. Everything I had been through, worked for and dreamt about fell to pieces when my coach said I was not good enough to play more minutes. All the confidence I had built up, it was all for nothing.

However, in the last match of the season, I was allowed to play for the last couple of minutes and I sprinted on the field. It was a draw and for a moment we passed the ball around trying to create opportunities. It worked and I got the ball and suddenly it was me against the goalie. At that moment everyone was screaming at me. At first, I got stressed but then I turned my thoughts off, emptied my head, and shut my ears shut from the noise. All I wanted to do was show my coach she had made a big mistake saying I was not good enough. I still hear her scream “forehand, not backhand”, but if she had paid more attention she would know my backhand was better so I carried on and did it my way. The goalie stood there, 2 heads taller than me; I took the shot. Eyes closed, scared that I had missed, and everyone would hate me even more I waited for a sound, a cheer, a ‘boo’, a scream from my coach, something. It felt like a whole hour passed and then I heard the first cheer, I opened my eyes, and it was a goal! But not just any goal, the most important goal of the season as we won and were now first place. That was the first time I was happy that season. I was so used to getting knocked down but am proud that I got back up, and did it well. “Strive not to be a success, but rather to be of value.” is something Albert Einstein said. And that is what I did, I was valuable to my team. After this amazing performance the coach kicked me off the team. I was devastated for a while but got back up and joined a new team and became one of the best players.

In these next few years, I learned how important it is to have confidence and have the guts to speak up for yourself because otherwise you get stuck in the same place repeatedly. My aim was to play in the first team of my club so I practiced hard to make it happen. I now play in the under 18 first team with the best and most lovely girls I could ever imagine with a great coach who supports every one of us . Not only with our technique but also with our social skills, teambuilding, and confidence.

Example 6, final draft conclusion

Every athlete has experienced it, the coach has you on the bench for the entire match. Insecurity slowly creeps into your head, the fear of being dropped, abandoned by the team because you are not good enough.

When I was 12, I got selected to play in the highest team for my age at my field hockey club. I did not really fit in, I was a very quiet girl who was everything but confident, a girl who never dared to talk.

Pre-season selection felt like the most important week of my life. I was physically exhausted, but the hardest part was still to come. Would I get chosen or not? I felt so much stress waiting for that one phone call which would determine my future in field hockey.

The phone rang and I remember it like it was yesterday, my heart sank to the bottom of my stomach, and I felt like there was no oxygen in my lungs. I have always wondered why they picked me out of 24 girls who participated, however I was super excited and relieved that they chose me.

During the season everything I worked for and dreamt about all fell apart when my coach said I was not good enough to play. All the confidence I had built up slipped away, but then I started to practice even harder, until I could not breathe, was almost unable to walk, and felt my heart pounding in every part of my body, just to be recognized.

During the final match of the season I was allowed to play the last few minutes, and I sprinted on the field. It was a draw, and we passed the ball around trying to create opportunities. It worked, I got the ball and suddenly it was me against the goalie. At that moment everyone was screaming at me, but I turned my thoughts off, emptied my head, and shut my ears from the noise. All I wanted to do was show my coach she had made a big mistake saying I was not good enough.

I can still hear her screaming “forehand, not backhand,” but if she had paid more attention to me she would know my backhand was better. I carried on and did it my way. The goalie stood there, 2 heads taller than me; I took the shot. Eyes closed, scared that I had missed and everyone would hate me even more, I waited for a sound, a cheer, a ‘boo,’ a scream from my coach, something, anything. It felt like a whole hour passed and then I heard cheering, I opened my eyes, and it was a goal! But not just any goal, the most important goal of the season as we won and were now champions.

That was the first time I was happy in that entire season. Albert Einstein said, “Strive not to be a success, but rather to be of value,” and I am so proud that despite being knocked down I got back up and was valuable to my team After this amazing performance the coach still kicked me off the team. I was devastated for a while but joined a team where I became one of the best players and met the most incredible friends. This gave me the confidence to go for my dream which was to play in the under 18 first team with lovely players and a great coach who supports every one of us. I no longer fear being dropped or abandoned and know that I will find the team that is meant for me and I am excited to be joining ‘my’ team at the right college and I know I am good enough.

Example 7, draft 1 conclusion Grandparents, everyone has (had) them. They give cookies, unconditional love and most importantly money.. However, often without noticing, they also give their grandchildren a lot of wisdom from their life full of experiences: they can give you insights you never thought of before. Even though many grandchildren think that their grandparents are the greatest, there also comes a time of saying goodbye. A time that can be hard for some who had good relationships with their grandparents.

Having, and losing grandparents can have a great influence on the life of the grandchild, just like it did with me. For me, this was the passing of my grandfather in April 2021. During this period I was quite stressed and when the passing of my grandfather was added to this, I felt overwhelmed and had an overload of emotions which I found hard to deal with. This resulted in me finding a new coping mechanism: poetry. It all started after saying goodbye to my grandfather, knowing it was probably the last time I would see him.

During the drive home I decided to try and write down some of my emotions and 2 two hours later I had written a poem in which I had put all of my sentiment, a poem that helped me get an understanding of my own emotions. How did it help After that I figured that writing poetry was a way of expressing emotions, and now I write poetry on a regular basis, when I am in a stressful situation or just for fun.

My grandfather inspired me, even when taking his last breaths.

I was also influenced by my grandmother.

Before I was born, she had had a cerebral infarction causing half of her body to be paralyzed, and limited her speaking, walking and other abilities. Even living with limitations she was still the happiest person I knew. My grandmother managed to live against all odds - for another 17 years after the accident. If she had not survived, I would have never met the wonderful person she was. She inspired me to always keep my hopes up, even when the world seems against me. When she passed away I had a hard time coping with this, but it also made me realize something: having such a vibrant spirit locked in a disabled body is terrible. The limitations of my grandmother inspired me to go into the field of research and find possibilities to help the disabled. She has had an influence on my choice of study, even when she had passed away. I decided that I wanted to do research in her legacy.

Shortly said, grandparents often have a lot of influence on the life of their grandchildren. This happens in multiple ways as they are able to inspire and give wisdom. Having grandparents is a gift of life that every grandchild should appreciate: they are often a stable factor of love while simultaneously teaching you about the dangers of life. Yes, the passing of your grandparents may bring you a hard time, but when one manages to push through, they will keep on inspiring you for the rest of your life.

Example 7, final draft conclusion

Grandparents, they give cookies, unconditional love and most importantly for me, a safe harbor.

However, often without noticing, they also give their grandchildren a lot of wisdom from their life full of experiences: they can give you insights you never thought of before. The presence - or absence of grandparents can have a great influence on the life of the grandchild, just like it did with me.

For me, this was the living conditions my grandmother had to experience. She was partially paralyzed after having a cerebral infarction causing her to be limited in her speaking and walking abilities, yet she was still the happiest person I knew. It absolutely broke my heart to see her struggling in these conditions yet her positive outlook on life always inspired me to spare no effort. When she passed away I was devastated. I had a hard time coping with this, but it also made me realize something: having such a vibrant spirit locked in a disabled body is not acceptable, and, seeing my grandmother’s limitations inspired me to go into the field of research and find possibilities to help the disabled. So my grandmother had an influence on my choice of study; I decided that I wanted to do research in her legacy.

Another way I was influenced was the passing of my grandfather in April 2021, it resulted in me finding a new coping mechanism: poetry. I was quite stressed due to the test week and school deadlines during that period and when my grandfather became sick I felt overwhelmed and had an overload of emotions.

It all started the day I said my goodbyes to my grandfather, at this point he was not at death’s door yet but subconsciously I knew that he was running out of time. During the two-hour drive home I decided to try to write down some of my emotions and I produced a poem in which I had put all of my sentiments. This poem helped me understand my own emotions by being able to write down every single perception of my feelings that came to me. I realized writing poetry was a way of expressing my emotions or even relaxing for me. Now I write poetry on a regular basis when I am in a stressful situation, but also just for fun. My grandfather inspired me, even when taking his last breaths.

Shortly said, my grandparents had a lot of influence on my life. My grandparents were a gift of life that I appreciated; they were a stable factor of love for me while simultaneously teaching me that there is always a solution. Yes, the passing of your grandparents may bring you a hard time, however I have learnt that, when you manage to push through, they will continue to inspire you for the rest of your life.

Just like they have inspired me so that I will change the world by doing research.