Senior living jewish news june 27, 2016

Page 1

Senior Living

Supplement to Jewish News June 27, 2016

Se n ior L i v i ng Published 22 times a year by United Jewish Federation of Tidewater.

Judith L. RosenbLatt, P.L.L.C. attoRney & CounseLLoR at Law

Dear Readers,

Reba and Sam Sandler Family Campus of the Tidewater Jewish Community 5000 Corporate Woods Drive, Suite 200 Virginia Beach, Virginia 23462-4370 voice 757.965.6100 • fax 757.965.6102 email

Have you heard about the elderly ladies in Florida who had their

• Family Law • Divorce • Property Settlement • Child Custody • Estate Administration • Guardian ad Litem for Incapacitated Adults

mahjong game stopped by police for illegally gambling? Sounds

Terri Denison, Editor Germaine Clair, Art Director Hal Sacks, Book Review Editor Sandy Goldberg, Account Executive Mark Hecht, Account Executive Marilyn Cerase, Subscription Manager Reba Karp, Editor Emeritus Sherri Wisoff, Proofreader

ridiculous, but true! The piece about these women is on page 20. Our Senior Living section offers articles that run the gamut, from the silly about the women in Florida, to the dismal about some seniors in

Jay Klebanoff, President Alvin Wall, Treasurer Stephanie Calliott, Secretary Harry Graber, Executive Vice-President

Israel who are forced to go without necessities because of income. And that pretty much sums up being a

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senior in 2016…there is no norm,

757-428-6021 •

no standard lens to view the senior

The appearance of advertising in the Jewish News does not constitute a kashrut, political, product or service endorsement. The articles and letters appearing herein are not necessarily the opinion of this newspaper.

status. And, so, we offer articles on a range of topics. For instance, on

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page 18, a partnership between

© 2016 Jewish News. All rights reserved.

Beth Sholom Village and Eastern Subscription: $18 year For subscription or change of address, call 757-965-6128 or email

Virginia Medical School for a study on the effect of music on memory is highlighted. Laine Rutherford’s article about

Did you know? A Reverse Mortgage line of credit has a guaranteed growth rate and no payments.

seniors at the JCC’s Yiddish Club on page 15 is not only fun, it is informative. Want to join? It’s free!

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Of course, we have others that include tips on talking to aging loved

Upcoming Special Features

ones about driving and strategies to stand up to improve health. It’s all within these pages.

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14 | Jewish News | June 27, 2016 |

July 18

Topic Legal Matters

Deadline July 1

Aug. 15 Guide to Jewish Living July 29

Chris Fanney

NMLS 144509 Mobile 757-581-8067 Ofce 757-217-3309

Issue Date

Sept. 19

Oct. 3

Terri Denison Editor


Aug. 19

Rosh Hashannah

Sept. 2

Yom Kippur

Sept. 16

Se n ior L i v i ng

Seniors find naches (joy) and mishpocha (family) at JCC’s Yiddish Club

Laine M Rutherford

We actually had assignments for that one—and some of the things rlene Kessel’s boom box is they came in with were so bad, large and awkward, but it has like ‘you should be pregnant with a CD player in it and the porcupines!’” speakers are loud, so for the past Since Kessel began leading the three months Kessel has shlepped it club’s meetings, attendance has up to the second floor of the Simon grown from about 15-20 seniors to Family JCC. as many as 35, with some traveling The player is integral to the current from Beth Sholom Village, in wheelfocus of discussion for the 30 or so chairs, with their aides. participants of the JCC Seniors’ Yiddish Michele Goldberg, JCC Cultural Club, which meets on the last Thursday Arts director, says seeing the growth of every month. Music, specifically and popularity of the Yiddish Club songs sung in Yiddish by performers is heartwarming and exciting. such as Mandy Patinkin or the Barry “The club provides an outlet Sisters—and the lyrics to the tunes, where our Jewish seniors can conprinted in a handout—are the basis Yiddish Club leader Arlene Kessel, right, nect to their past, where they can of conversation and discussion for the with participants Abbott and Kitty Saks. learn, where they can share their hour, or two, that the club meets. own knowledge, and where they can kibitz and shmooze “Not everyone understands all of the words, but they with their peers.” get the gist of it—and that’s enough for us to talk about,” Kessel allows the club members to set the pace, says Kessel. “Sometimes we’ll sing, or discuss why the determine the discussion topics, and then she plans songs are so sad, and sometimes we’ll even dance.” accordingly. And although she’s an active volunteer with Kessel is the maven (expert) who took over the club Temple Emanuel and the Holocaust Commission, she when former JCC senior director Sherry Lieberman says that coming to the Yiddish Club is the highlight of retired two years ago. her month. “I had been coming to the club at the request of my “We always start with a word, and they tell me what good friend Kitty Saks, and really enjoyed myself,” says they think it means—of course they all know—but rarely Kessel. “When Sherry was leaving, she said ‘I’m so sorry, do they agree,” Kessel says. I don’t want to see this group disband,’ and I didn’t want “The magical thing is that all of these words trigger to either—so I agreed to take over.” memories and adventures and relatives who aren’t around Kessel was a natural to lead the group. A retired anymore. They just light up when they share these stories teacher, she’d taught German for 38 years at Lynnhaven and I learn so much! Middle School in Virginia Beach, and can read and under“I find this experience so humbling, and so rich. We’re stand Spanish and French. She taught herself Yiddish as listening to each other and we’re laughing and we’re smila young child, after listening to her mother speak to her ing. I wonder, if not for this club, who would listen to grandmother on the telephone and wanting to understand them and hear these stories?” what they were saying. The JCC Yiddish Club is free and open to all seniors. “For me, it was a puzzle—trying to detect the words Arlene Kessel, a real mentch (good person), says a and their meanings, and I just picked it up,” she says. familiarity with some Yiddish is helpful, so participants “Yiddish, though, is not just a language, it’s a culture, don’t feel meshugenah (crazy), and won’t be verdreht and so at our meetings we may focus on books, or music, (confused). Have a nosh (snack) beforehand to fuel your or what I’d like to introduce next—food and cooking,” chutzpah (courage) to speak up, and know that it’s okay says Kessel. to kvell (burst with pride), a bissel (a little). “We’ve traded books back and forth—we laughed Call 757-321-2341 or visit for together as we read Yiddish with Dick and Jane one week— more information. and for a couple of weeks we brought in Yiddish curses.


18 Yiddish words to know …and use today Alter cocker . . . . . . . old fuddy duddy Bubbela . . . . . . . . . . darling Dreck . . . . . . . . . . . . worthless Farblondzhit . . . . . . . confused Fermisht . . . . . . . . . . shaken up Haymish . . . . . . . . . . friendly Macher. . . . . . . . . . . big wig Nebbish . . . . . . . . . . unimportant person Nudnik . . . . . . . . . . . a pest Plotz. . . . . . . . . . . . . to burst Shanda. . . . . . . . . . . a scandal Shlemiel . . . . . . . . . . dimwit Shmata. . . . . . . . . . . a rag, or old dress Shvitz. . . . . . . . . . . . sweat Shmutz. . . . . . . . . . . dirt Shpilkes. . . . . . . . . . . nervous or jumpy Tuches. . . . . . . . . . . rear end Yenta . . . . . . . . . . . . a busybody The YIVO Institute for Jewish Research describes Yiddish as a language that has been spoken by Ashkenazi Jews (Eastern European) and their descendants for 1,000 years. Before World War II, an estimated 11 million of the world’s 18 million Jews understood Yiddish, and a majority used it as their primary language and means of communicating with one another. Between the effects of the Holocaust and assimilation, that number dipped considerably. Far fewer speak the language today. However, it is taught in colleges and universities, many words have been incorporated into popular culture (klutz, bagel, tchotchke) and its essence is prevalent in everything from cooking and music to films and literature. Visit for a wealth of Yiddish resources.

Yiddish Club meetings Thursday, June 30, 1 pm Room 238, Simon Family JCC Meets the last Thursday of every month

Free | June 27, 2016 | Senior Living | Jewish News | 15

Hampton Roads Retina Center was

Se n ior L i v i ng

established in 2002, by Jon M. Adleberg, M.D., to provide specialized retinal care

Talk about driving:

for the greater Hampton Roads area. We care for a myriad of diseases that affect the eye. The most common of which are: Diabetic Eye Disease and Age- Related Macular Degeneration. Our offices are equipped with advanced imaging for retinal diseases, including Spectral Domain OCT, ophthalmic ultrasound, and fluorescein and ICG angiography.

plan ahead to help keep seniors independent, safe on the road


new scratch on the bumper or The pro-

avoiding activities that require

gram offers free resources and tips to

leaving home are often the first signs

help families build a roadmap with their

that families should talk with their aging

senior loved one for limiting or stopping

parents about driving. Unfortunately,

driving when the time is right. These

those conversations do not happen

resources include an interactive Safe


Driving Planner to help families assess

A new survey by Home Instead Inc.,

their senior loved one’s driving habits

franchisor of the Home Instead Senior

and provide tools to help older adults

Care® network of franchise offices

drive safely, consider options for driv-

that provide in-home care services to

ing reduction or cessation, and identify

seniors, found that 95 percent of the

alternative transportation options.

757-436-0011 •

surveyed seniors have not talked to

“The ability to drive gives seniors the

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their loved ones about driving, though

freedom to do what they want, when

nearly one-third (31 percent) say that a

they want—and we want to respect that

recommendation from family or friends

independence,” says Steve Secondino

that they transition from driving would

of the Home Instead Senior Care office

make them reconsider driving.

serving Norfolk. “Proactively talking

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16 | Jewish News | Senior Living | June 27, 2016 |

“As adults, we don’t hesitate to talk

about driving with seniors allows

to our teenage children about driv-

them to take an active role in deciding

ing, but when we need to address

when and why their driving should be

concerns with our own parents, we

reduced or eliminated, while keeping

drop the ball,” says Elin Schold Davis,

Hampton Roads area families safe on

occupational therapist and project coor-

the road.”

dinator for the Older Drive Initiative of

Nearly 90 percent of aging adults

the American Occupational Therapy

rely on their cars and driving to stay

Association. “We know that discussing

independent, according to the survey.

driving with aging loved ones reduces

Though many seniors 70 and older are

their discomfort around limiting or

able to drive safely into their later years,

stopping their driving. Often, families

it is critical for families to have a plan

just need to know how to start the

in place before a medical or cognitive


condition makes it no longer safe for

For many seniors, the idea of giving up driving sparks feelings

their senior loved one to get behind the wheel.

of anger, anxiety and loneliness. To

“Physical and cognitive changes,

help families navigate these sen-

such as those caused by Alzheimer’s

sitive conversations about driving

disease, changes in vision or medi-

cessation, the Home Instead Senior

cation usage, can put older adults in

Care network has launched a new

jeopardy on the road,” adds Schold

public education program, Let’s Talk

Davis. “Many drivers can continue to

About Driving , available at www.

drive safely as they get older, but it’s


Se n ior L i v i ng important for families to work with

after an incident occurs behind the

their loved ones to create a roadmap

wheel. This may be a sign their loved

that explores new technologies and

one needs assistance maintaining their

solutions, while planning ahead. The

independence in and outside of the

solution may not be to stop driving

home,” says Laura Bousman, owner of

completely, but could include adding

the Home Instead Senior Care offices

senior-friendly safety features to the car

serving Chesapeake and Virginia

or taking a safety class.”

Beach. “Our hope is that by having

Family caregivers can look for sev-

these discussions and knowing the

eral potential warning signs that their

potential warning signs in advance,

senior may be losing the confidence or

we can help ensure seniors and their

ability to drive, such as unexplained

families stay safe and independent on

dents, trouble turning to see when

their terms.”

backing up, increased agitation while driving, and riding the brake. “We often receive calls from families

Thank You, for Voting Us

To access the Safe Driving Planner, or to view other program resources and tips, visit

Ten warning signs that seniors may be unsafe drivers on the road 1. Mysterious dents. If an older adult can’t explain what happened to his or her car, or there are multiple instances of damage, further investigation is needed to understand if there’s been a change in the senior’s driving abilities. 2. Trouble turning to see when backing up. Aging may compromise mobility and impact important movements needed to drive safely. Fortunately, newer vehicles offer back-up cameras and assistive technologies that can help older adults continue to drive safely.





OF 2016

OF 2016



3. Confusing the gas and brake pedals. Dementia can lead to a senior being confused about how his or her car operates. 4. Increased irritation and agitation when driving. Poor health or chronic pain can trigger increased agitation that may, in turn, lead to poor judgment on the road. 5. Bad calls on left-hand turns. Turning left can be tricky and dangerous for older









drivers, and many accidents occur where there is an unprotected left turn (no turning arrow). 6. Parking gone awry. Difficulty parking, including parallel parking, could cause damage to an older adult’s vehicle as well as to those around it. 7. Difficulty staying within the lanes. If you’ve spotted a driver zigzagging along the road, it could be a sign that fatigue or vision problems are making it difficult







to stay on course. 8. Delayed reaction and response time. Aging slows response times which may create a situation where an older adult may cause an accident or be unable to respond quickly enough to prevent a crash. 9. Driving the wrong speed. Driving too fast or too slow may be indicators that a

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OF 2016


(757) 451-5100

driver’s judgment may be impaired. 10. R iding the brake. Riding the brake could be a sign that a driver no longer has confidence in his or her skills. | June 27, 2016 | Senior Living | Jewish News | 17

Three agencies with one common purpose:

C aring for Y ou.

Se n ior L i v i ng

Eastern Virginia Medical School partners with Beth Sholom Village for Music and Memory study


Jewish Family Service of Tidewater provides skilled home healthcare, in-home personal care, counseling, and a continuum of social services. Beth Sholom Village offers outstanding short-term rehabilitation, long-term care, and assisted living. Freda H. Gordon Hospice and Palliative Care of Tidewater provides hospice care to meet the physical, emotional and spiritual needs of patients and their families.

JFS Home Health Care





Thousands of Israeli elderly go without food, medicine or heating

JFS Home Health Care

Hospice & Palliative Care

reactions to music. The BSV staff will then give each participant an iPod loaded with music which is familiar to that person. Family members are consulted to determine participants’ favorite music. Based on the subjects’ reactions and mood changes, the need for certain medications may be reduced, and the individual’s quality of life may improve. Once the initial results of the study are analyzed, more residents at Beth Sholom will be eligible to participate in the Music and Memory program. The work at Beth Sholom Village occurs against a universal background of research and very positive results from expanded music therapy programs for individuals with dementia or Alzheimers. Beth Sholom Village seeks volunteers to assist the residents in the Music and Memory program. To volunteer, call 757-420-2512 and ask for Josh Bennett, Recreation Therapy director.


Beth Sholom Village

F R E DA H . G O R D O N

eth Sholom Village, in partnership with Eastern Virginia Medical School, will begin a study with 20 BSV residents using monitoring equipment and headphones to determine the effect of music on the biorhythms and behavior patterns of those with some cognitive impairment. The study aims to investigate how those living with dementia or Alzheimer’s can benefit from music therapy. The study will be led by Hamid R. Okhravi, MD, of EVMS. The group therapy sessions will be facilitated by Becky Watson, a board certified music therapist. Watson has extensive clinical experience in conducting music therapy programs for older adults living with dementia. Volunteers are needed to sit with the residents for several hours each Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday over a six week period. Each participant will be outfitted with a monitor called an Actigraph which will record various



18 | Jewish News | Senior Living | June 27, 2016 |


ERUSALEM ( JTA)—Thousands of elderly Israelis give up food, medicine or heating because they cannot afford to pay for them, according to a survey earlier this year. Some 18 percent of Israeli elderly go without home heating and about 20 percent give up basic goods in order to pay for heating, according to the study by the International Fellowship of Christians and Jews. The survey of a representative

sample of 400 elderly, aged 65 and older, was conducted through the Geocartography Institute. The survey also found that 12 percent of elderly Israelis give up using hot water at least three days a week for financial reasons; 12 percent give up medication or medical care because of financial constraints; and one in seven gives up food for financial reasons. The survey also found that one in seven elderly report feeling lonely on a daily basis.

Se n ior L i v i ng

Stand up to improve health


Tom Purcell


o sit or stand—that is the question that many ponder considering the latest data on how remaining seated during long periods of time can be hazardous to an individual’s health. In fact, studies show that sitting for long periods of the day can lead to being overweight and developing heart mindful about moving and making it a disease, cancer, diabetes, and even pretop priority. mature death. When standing, keep shoulders The body is meant to move throughback and aligned. Use stomach muscles out the day. Two to stay straight. Slightly bend centuries ago when the knees to ease pressure agriculture employon the hips, and use quality ment was 90 percent shoes that offer good support. of the work force, And what shouldn’t one people engaged in When standing, do? Don’t stick that chest out. proper movement Instead, try to keep the chest throughout the grab your hands perpendicular to the ground. day, not to mention Don’t stand in the same posiphysical exercise. lightly behind tion for long periods of time, Spring forward to and don’t wear high heels today, smack dab in you to pull your when standing for long perithe middle of the ods of time. electronic age that shoulders and A weekly strength and keeps people from flexibility program can help moving and using chest up to create the aging body correct and physical traits to get maintain good posture as good posture. This work done. well as a better quality of So what’s the life. Remember, the body will simple act will solution? Make it weaken unless it is taken care a habit to get up of through a consistent struckeep you mindful and move around tured routine. to promote circulaof your posture. tion as well as to —Tom Purcell, fitness and increase energy. membership director at the Don’t spend long Simon Family JCC, has decades periods throughout of personal training and fitness experithe day in the same seated position. ence. He can be reached at TPurcell@ Keep track of steps per day with a SimonFamilyJCC or 757-321-2321. pedometer or a fitness tracking device. Half the battle of the bulge is being

Quick tip


We Salute Our Veterans.

Thank You

for Your Service. We listen. We love. We care. We serve.

Commonwealth Assisted Living appreciates the sacrifices our military men and women have made for this country and we are honored to care for those who have given so much for us.

To show our gratitude, we are offering veterans a special savings of $2,500 on their first month’s rent through Independence Day 2016! The Ballentine – Norfolk | 757-347-1732 Churchland House – Portsmouth | 757-517-0340 Commonwealth Assisted Living at Hampton | 757-707-8091 Commonwealth Memory Care – Norfolk | 757-785-0830 Georgian Manor – Chesapeake | 757-644-3825 Kings Grant House – Virginia Beach | 757-347-2752 Leigh Hall – Norfolk | 757-347-1251 | June 27, 2016 | Senior Living | Jewish News | 19



Relax by the Water

Se n ior L i v i ng


or smaller

Ready for you to enjoy! This all brick home overlooking serene Lake Smith is bright andWishart up-to-date. 1204 Lake $879,000 New roof and windows. Sometimes when you have more time to do Custom neighborhood the things you like, you need more space in convenient to all of which to do them. Hampton Roads.

5113 Crystal Point Drive $539,900

5001 Cypress Point Cir.

he United Jewish Federation of


ago, when the title to the properties

Tidewater fills many roles in the

were transferred to the Federation, with

community—some are fun and quite

the help of several volunteers. The plan

visible, others are more solemn and less

for the transfer was actually hatched in

noticeable, but no less important.

2000. Jewish leaders in Portsmouth had

5113 Crystal Point Drive


Easy Living • First floor condo with no steps to enter • 3 Bedrooms • Golf, tennis, and swimming available.

Janet Frenck, GRI • 757-439-4039

It is in this quieter role that the UJFT

become concerned that the cemeteries

recently began operating in Portsmouth.

would fall into disrepair as the Jewish

Earlier this spring, the organization

population in Portsmouth declined.

took over the maintenance and opera-

That’s when UJFT came to the rescue

tions of the Gomley Chesed and Chevra

and an agreement was reached whereby

T’helim Cemeteries, on Shell Road near

the cemeteries would be maintained into

Frederick Blvd. and George Washington

perpetuity. In addition to these cemeteries, UJFT


Howard Hanna William E Wood 757-439-4039 1321 Laskin Road, CRB, GRI Janet VirginiaFrenck, Beach, VA 23451 William E. Wood & Associates 1321 Laskin Road • Virginia Beach

Will your money retire before you do? Laurent Abitbol, Agent Registered Representative Bus: 757-416-7500 9 a.m. - 7 p.m. Mon - Thurs 9 a.m. - 5 p.m. Fri 10 a.m. - 2 p.m. Sat

UJFT fulfills caretaker role for Portsmouth’s Jewish cemeteries

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With the financial assistance of the

provides maintenance for two other local

Gomley Chesed Cemetery Fund, which

Jewish burial sites: Workmen’s Circle

is now managed by the Tidewater Jewish

Cemetery and Mikro Kodesh, both in

Foundation, UJFT provides a crew to


take care of the grounds, headstones,

Contributions to help maintain the

fences, and lighting. The organization

Portsmouth cemeteries are welcome.

also assists with reserving spaces and

Call Randy Parrish at 757-965-6104, or

assigning plots in the Jewish burial site.

mail a check, payable to Gomley Chesed

The cemeteries, which date back to

Cemetery Fund, in care of the Tidewater

the late 1800s, were associated with

Jewish Foundation at 5000 Corporate

the Portsmouth synagogues of the same

Woods Dr., Suite 200, Virginia Beach,

names; Chevra T’helim closed in the

VA, 23462.

1980s and Gomley Chesed held its last

For more information about any of

service in 2014. Gomley Chesed’s ceme-

the cemeteries the UJFT maintains, email

tery committee continued to superintend

Glenn Saucier,, or call

the two cemeteries until a few months


Four elderly Jewish ladies busted for weekly mahjong game (JTA)—Four elderly Jewish women playing mahjong in Florida may not sound like a crime—but that’s what was alleged last fall in the city of Altamonte Springs. Lee Delnick, Bernice Diamond, Helen Greenspan and Zelda King—aged 87 to 95—had their weekly game interrupted by police who stopped them from playing in their usual spot, the Escondido Condominium clubhouse, on suspicion that the group was illegally gambling. King told the Heritage Florida Jewish News that a

20 | Jewish News | Senior Living | June 27, 2016 |

“troublemaker” in the building had alerted authorities to their weekly game. The ladies were told by the Escondido property manager to “lay low” for weeks until the issue sorted itself out. “This is ridiculous!” King said. “We haven’t played in the clubhouse for weeks! We have to go to each other’s homes to play, and not everyone lives in Escondido. It is an international game and we are being crucified!” As it turns out, there is no ordinance in Altamonte

Springs against mahjong gambling. The Heritage Florida Jewish News reported that Florida’s gambling laws allow certain “penny-ante games,” or games through which a winner wins $10 or less. The bubbes’ mahjong game, which caps the winner’s earnings at a steep $4, falls within the confines of the law. King told the Heritage Florida Jewish News that the ladies can now laugh about the whole affair at their mahjong games in the condo clubhouse.

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