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October 31, 2011 | VOL. XCIII ISS. XVII

Masturbating to big band SINCE 1918



HOME P6 UBC upsets No. 1 team in the nation to clinch second place, will play first home playoff game in 12 years next Saturday

U 221,764












TRANSIT 74,475





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What’s on 31 MON

This week, may we suggest...

Our Campus

One on one with the people who make UBC

Robert Redford graces UBC campus


Jonny Wakefield

University Singers: 12pm @ UBC Robson Square Part of UBC Music at Robson Square, the UBC University Singers will take the stage to entertain the masses of Occupiers just on the other side of the Vancouver Art Gallery. Or the general public. They matter too.







Dialogue on the History of Indian Residential Schools: 8am–4pm @ First Nations Longhouse A day-long discussion on the devastating impact of the residential school system and how UBC and other institutions are working to address it.




Free Lung Testing : 12pm @ 370 East Broadway For all you smokers out there, why not take a peek into whether your “bad habit” is having a detrimental effect on your health? The BC Lung Association is holding a free clinic to test your lungs.




An Evening with David Suzuki: 7:30pm @ the Chan Centre Learn from the eco-master. David Suzuki, a Canadian environmentalist and UBC professor emeritus, will offer his insights on the state of the global environment. For all of you interested in saving Mother Earth (and if you’re at UBC, you probably are), this is the event for you.

The Sounds of Freedom: The Revival of Music in Afghanistan: 7:30pm @ Buchanan A, room 201 After the fall of the Taliban regime in Afghanistan, the limitations on freedom of expression and music were lifted. Join Dean of Arts Gage Averill, musicians and experts from around the world as they discuss the recent history of Afghan music.


Got an event you’d like to see on this page? Send your event and your best pitch to

THE UBYSSEY October 31, 2011, Volume XCIII, Issue XVII


Coordinating Editor Justin McElroy

Managing Editor, Print Jonny Wakefield

Managing Editor, Web Arshy Mann

News Editors Kalyeena Makortoff & Micki Cowan

Art Director Geoff Lister

Culture Editor Ginny Monaco

Copy Editor Karina Palmitesta


Business Office: Room 23 Editorial Office: Room 24 Student Union Building 6138 Student Union Blvd Vancouver, BC V6T 1Z1 tel: 604.822.2301 web:

Video Editor David Marino

Senior Web Writer Andrew Bates


Senior Culture Writers Taylor Loren & Will Johnson

Ad Sales Ben Chen


Business Office:


Webmaster Jeff Blake

Business Manager Fernie Pereira

Features Editor Brian Platt


Graphics Assistant Indiana Joel

Sports Editor Drake Fenton

Print Advertising:

Andrew Hood, Bryce Warnes, Catherine Guan, David Elop, Jon Chiang, Josh Curran, Will McDonald, Tara Martellaro, Virginie Menard, Scott MacDonald, Anna Zoria, Peter Wojnar, Tanner Bokor, Dominic Lai, Mark-Andre Gessaroli, Natalya Kautz, Kai Jacobson


The Ubyssey is the official student newspaper of the University of British Columbia. It is published every Monday and Thursday by The Ubyssey Publications Society. We are an autonomous, democratically run student organization, and all students are encouraged to participate. Editorials are chosen and written by the Ubyssey staff. They are the expressed opinion of the staff, and do not necessarily reflect the views of The Ubyssey Publications Society or the University of British Columbia. All editorial content appearing in The Ubyssey is the property of The Ubyssey Publications Society. Stories, opinions, photographs and artwork contained herein cannot be reproduced without the expressed, written permission of The Ubyssey Publications Society. The Ubyssey is a founding member of Canadian University Press (CUP) and adheres to CUP’s guiding principles. Letters to the editor must be under 300 words. Please include your

phone number, student number and signature (not for publication) as well as your year and faculty with all submissions. ID will be checked when submissions are dropped off at the editorial office of The Ubyssey; otherwise verification will be done by phone. The Ubyssey reserves the right to edit submissions for length and clarity. All letters must be received by 12 noon the day before intended publication. Letters received after this point will be published in the following issue unless there is an urgent time restriction or other matter deemed relevant by the Ubyssey staff. It is agreed by all persons placing display or classified advertising that if the Ubyssey Publications Society fails to publish an advertisement or if an error in the ad occurs the liability of the UPS will not be greater than the price paid for the ad. The UPS shall not be responsible for slight changes or typographical errors that do not lessen the value or the impact of the ad.

UBC is no stranger to Hollywood A-listers, but last Thursday students were particularly starstruck. That’s right—Robert Redford was on campus. Redford is in the middle of directing and starring in the thriller The Company You Keep. He plays a former Weather Underground activist who is outed by a sleazy, muck-raking hack “journalist” played by some no-name who gets beaten up by shirtless men on the Granville strip. Redford carries the film on his monolithic shoulders, delivering a performance which will no doubt shape the nature of American cinema for years to GEOFF LISTER/ THE UBYSSEY Unfortunately, our photographer’s camera was unable to capture the glory of Robert come. It’s hard to identify another ac- Redford. We had to settle instead for this peon. tor—nay, human being—whose art has had an impact that even beand the Sundance Kid, The Sting joyous sobs before he could be gins to approach that of Redford. and All the President’s Men. identified. To find anyone who could even be Company promises to join this Certainly, catching a glimpse in the same league, we must look impressive canon. of Redford in person has had an to the heroes of antiquity. Or at Filming took place in the impact on the powers that be at least Paul Newman. Pendulum Restaurant in the SUB UBC. Sources say that the univerCertainly Redford embodies and along Main Mall, where hunsity has commissioned a bronze the Platonic ideal. He is a phidreds of students congregated to statue of Redford, to be placed at losopher king ruled by Reason catch a glimpse of a true legend. the rose garden at the north end and constantly striving towards Students who witnessed the filmof campus. And rumour has it that the Truth, unlike his co-stars, ing said they felt the weight of the new SUB committee is debatwho prefer to indulge in the baser history bearing down upon them. ing a motion to include a stained passions at sleazy bars. We can “I’m going to tell my grandchilglass window bearing the actor’s see Redford’s commitment to the dren about this for sure,” said likeness in the new student space. craft in films like Butch Cassidy one student, who broke down in May we only be so lucky. U


10.31.2011 |


Editors: Kalyeena Makortoff & Micki Cowan


AMS postpones vote on honourary degrees for interned students Micki Cowan News Editor

Japanese-Canadians interned during WWII have been calling on UBC to issue honourary degrees to former students. Now, the AMS is considering throwing their support behind the initiative, but student senators are asking Council not to vote on the motion. Instead, senators have asked that Council give UBC’s Senate the chance to discuss other tribute options besides honourary degrees,

which led the AMS to postpone the vote indefinitely at the October 28 Council meeting. “I can very much say I’m in favour of the spirit of the motion,” said student senator Justin Yang. “But the motion as it reads doesn’t support the work of senators. We’d love to see these families get recognized somehow, but the fact is the phrase ‘honourary degree’ is a loaded term—it’s laden with institutional procedure,” said Yang. Mary Kitagawa, a JapaneseCanadian and member of the

Greater Vancouver JapaneseCanadian Citizens Association, started the petition to honour the 72 students who were interned and unable to finish their degrees at UBC. UBC didn’t immediately support the petition’s request, citing the complexity of granting honourary degrees. However, other schools like the University of Berkeley have already done so. Shimon Miyamoto, president of the UBC Japan Association, agreed that the AMS and UBC should support the motion.

“I don’t see why they wouldn’t. Students shouldn’t really have a reason to oppose against this,” said Miyamoto. Some Council members were upset that the Senate—which functions as a separate governing body from the AMS—might be affecting the motion. “I understand that Senate works a bit differently, but senators already came back and said, ‘We’re not giving honourary degrees,’” said VP External Katherine Tyson, who is in favour of the degrees.


UBC research used 211,764 animals in 2010 Kalyeena Makortoff News Editor

UBC has released new information on animal research, but animal advocates have said that the university should be providing more details to the public. The information that UBC released was for 2010, in which 211,764 animals were involved in research for the calendar year. “We’re encouraged that UBC has taken this small step to release information to the public—and I say small because it’s not very useful information,” said Brian Vincent, director of the protest group STOP UBC Animal Research. “Where it’s useless data is [that] it doesn’t tell you, for example, species of animal,” said Vincent. “They list types of animals like large mammals, but what does that mean? Pigs, monkeys, cats, what other animals? They claim they’re no longer experimenting on dogs. We’d like to see a breakdown of the species of animals they’re using.” But Associate VP Research and International, Helen Burt, defended the report. “This is a large number, but you do need to put it into context…we’re a very large university,” she said. “I look at that and say that we’ve provided a lot of information. Again, I want to point out that UBC is the first university to voluntarily and publicly release the total numbers and the types of animals.” Burt added that out of the 3.4 million animals used for research across Canada, UBC is only accounting for 6 per cent of the national total. The report outlined the type of animals that are used in research. It also broke down the percentage of animals used in different categories

Large Mammals (.74%) Small Mammals Marine Mammals (.31%) (.88%) Birds (1.25%) Reptiles and Amphibians

Category E (0.01%)

Before the motion is brought up to Council again, UERC will be gathering student input to see if the motion is actually something that students support, which was questioned by members of Council. UERC Chair Michael Haack, said UBC’s reputation has suffered as a result of not supporting the petition. “We’re not asking for UBC to accept any blame, but we’re asking UBC to be leaders, to step up to the plate and say that although it isn’t something we did, we would like to grant these students degrees.” U AQUATIC CENTRE >>

Renovations complete, amidst complaints


Category D (32.21%)

Fish 35.17%

Category B (45.69%)

Rats and Mice (55.81%) Category C (22.09%)


Asher Isbrucker Contributor


UBC released numbers on the invasiveness of their research procedures. Category B experiments cause the animal “little or no discomfort or stress,” while Category E experiments “result in pain which approaches the pain tolerance threshold.”

of invasive experiments. “We are pretty stunned to see that 31 animals were exposed to highly invasive procedures,” said Vincent. “Category E [of invasiveness] allows some of the most horrific procedures to be used on animals. An animal can be burned alive in Canada, administered electric convulsive shock, exposed to highly painful procedures, predator-prey situation, [or] restrained for long periods of time.” UBC annually discloses information to the the Canadian Council on Animal Care (CCAC), the organization that sets national standards and guidelines for use of animals in research. While the CCAC publishes national numbers, it does not break down the information by university.

“We’re willing to engage in a discussion about the ethics and the integrity of the work that’s done and we do realize that we haven’t done enough to share that with people,” said Burt. “And we’re hoping that by releasing this information and starting a dialogue, that people will better understand animal research.” But Vincent said that more thorough reports need to be provided for the public to be able to properly discuss the merits of animal research. “We don’t get a chance to see the lab inspection reports to find out if UBC has violated animal care standards. We’d like to see necropsy and veterinary reports, to see how animals are being cared for in the lab and what the cause of death is,” said Vincent, who explained that

this information is available online in the United States. “These are all really important documents that the public has a right to see, especially since a lot of the research is paid for by taxpayer money.” When asked whether STOP’s protest tactics over the past year put pressure on the university to release this information, Burt did not directly recognize the group, but said, “Clearly we’re responding to a debate.” But the exact number of species may not be revealed any time soon. “I honestly don’t know at this point. It is possible, I’m not sure. This is an important first step for UBC and we’ll take it one step at a time,” Burt said. U

Langara says “bye” to bottles

Toope takes chair of AUCC

Bedbugs found in library books

The Langara University Student Union (LSU) is implementing a plastic bottle ban in its student union building (SUB). This is the first phase in an initiative to make the entire campus bottle-free. First, the LSU intends to make all student-funded events bottle free, then focus on banning bottle products in all retail establishments in their SUB. However, Langara officials find the prospect of a total ban to be unlikely. “All the tins and bottles that are collected in the college, the revenue from that goes towards student bursaries. If we put a ban on bottles, we reduce student bursaries,” said the director of Facilities and Purchasing, Jay Strachan.

UBC President Stephen Toope has been named the new chair of the Association of Universities and Colleges of Canada (AUCC). Encompassing 95 independent and competitive post-secondary institutions, Toope’s planned initiatives include opening more private-sector partnerships, dividing resources more efficiently amidst increasing costs, and addressing the need to compete in bringing international students to Canada. “Will Canada be seen as an integral node in that international network of knowledge creation? I think we’re going to be able to assess that, and we’d better,” said Toope at the AUCC’s 100 th annual meeting.

Food drive at Occupy Vancouver

News briefs At noon on Saturday, Occupy Vancouver will be hosting a food drive at Esther Short Park on 301 W. 8 th Street. Packaged, nonperishable foods and toiletries will be accepted from 12–3pm at the park. The food will be donated to the Clark County Food Bank, said organizer Tom Scharf. “Part of what we’ve been talking about in our group is, as the saying goes, be the change you want to see in the world,” said fellow organizer Stephanie Rotondo. “This is one of the ways we felt we could give back to our community.”

Metro Vancouver library books are being found with bedbugs. The blood-sucking parasites have been responsible for the temporary closure of three library branches in Burnaby and New Westminster earlier in the week. Recently, a homeowner from a branch in Mount Pleasant discovered a few of the bedbugs in a book when one crawled out from the spine onto his hand. Vancouver Public Library (VPL) spokesperson Jean Kavanagh told the CBC Thursday that the VPL has not launched a full-scale investigation because the city’s library system is so large, with over 10 million items to search through. U

After four months out of service, the Aquatic Centre’s sauna and steam room re-opened on October 20. But that left at least one person paying for suspended services and questioning the management. Eric Jandciu, a pass-holder at the centre, was not impressed with how renovations of the steam and sauna room were handled by management. “My main concern was no longer having access to the steam and sauna because they [were] under construction for four months or so,” said Jandciu. “I pay $148 for the four-month staff and faculty pass, but that [didn’t go] down, even though we [didn’t] have access to the downstairs area.” Lloyd Campbell, manager of the Aquatic Centre, explained the renovations. “This spring a number of hot water pipes in the basement of the Aquatic Centre failed and had to be replaced. To repair the pipes, both male and female steam/sauna areas had to be closed,” said Campbell. But the static fees weren’t the only problems, according to Jandciu. “Before they actually decided to close it, there was leaking from the ceiling happening in the sauna for weeks, which couldn’t be good. “It’s great that we have access to the Aquatic Centre, it’s a nice part of working on campus. But it’s just a shame that the facility seems to be poorly managed.” Despite plans in the works for a new Aquatic Centre to be built by 2014, Campbell maintains that the renovations to the old centre are justified. “The majority of the costs of the repair had to be done because the pipes serviced the buildings and the roof needed to be removed to repair the pipes,” said Campbell. “As the new facility is three to four years away, we decided that this expenditure is justified as many students and facility users utilize this service.” U

4 | News | 10.31.2011 PROFILE >>

VP External Stephen Owen to leave UBC in 2012

Owen reflects on life in politics, his time at the university and shares future plans Natalya Kautz Staff Writer

Stephen Owen has a CV that would be the envy of any political science or law student. From law professor to Member of Parliament to UBC’s VP External, Owen has had a long, varied career that only continues to grow. Though he won’t be returning for another term, Owen said that he will look back fondly on his time at UBC Vancouver, which extends back to the 80s. “I went to UBC law school. And I taught here as a sessional in the 80s. So I’ve always had a big place in my heart for UBC.” His great-grandparents came to Vancouver in the 1880s, making Owen a fourth generation Vancouverite. He comes from a political family: his uncle was lieutenant governor of BC and his cousin, Philip Owen, was mayor of Vancouver throughout the 1990s. Owen’s career began with a law degree from UBC, though the university looked a little different back then. “In ‘69, when I started, first-year classes were all in huts,” recalled Owen. Back then, he said, chickens and cows used to roam around south campus. After teaching law at the University of Victoria, Owen’s career path changed dramatically when he was asked to run for parliament. “I’d


Stephen Owen served a four year term as VP External at UBC, where he originally recieved his law degree.

never been involved in politics before 2000, and I joined a week before the election [was called] in October 2000. “Five weeks later, my wife and I were standing in the snow in front of the Parliament building, saying, ‘What the hell have we done?’”

For the following two elections, Owen was the Liberal Member of Parliament (MP) for the Vancouver Quadra riding (in which UBC resides). He served in cabinet for both Jean Chrétien and Paul Martin. During his time as an MP, Owen said he had a good relationship with UBC.

“I had three elections, and they were a hoot, and a lot of that was UBC.” Owen said that UBC students made up a considerable volunteer force during those election campaigns. “You’d have about 600 or 700 people involved, and I’d say almost half of them were under 25.”

After his time in politics and conflict mediation, Owen said that when President Toope asked him to come to UBC as VP External, the position seemed like a good fit. “It’s got a wide range of issues, it’s not a huge portfolio but it serves the whole university. “Things like working with the school board to get the new school in UBC, getting the Farm saved, transferring density to other parts of the province. Those sorts of issues, not conflict issues, but issues where people have different points of view and we have to try and bring them together.” On his time spent at UBC, Owen said, “The whole experience has been a lot of fun. “We’ve got some very different personalities and backgrounds that really work together well as a team.” As for his decision to leave, Owen said it was simply his love of variety that pushed him to look for something new. “I do change jobs fairly frequently, and it’s not because the jobs haven’t been great. It’s just that I’m really interested in doing different things. “I like puzzles. I really haven’t got anything specific in mind, but I will be working in public policy and conflict resolution,” he said. UBC will always be something special for Owen, though. “It’s an honour to be associated with [UBC]. I’m happy; I’ve had a lot of fun.” U

10.31.2011 | News | 5 TRANSIT >>

AMS buys $3000 mapping licence for transit research Council to use research from the data to urge TransLink to bring more buses to UBC Andrew Bates Senior Web Writer

A new mapping licence the AMS purchased for $3000 could help get more buses out to UBC. “The hypothesis I’m testing is that students’ commutes are becoming longer and longer, which is something the AMS is very concerned about,” said Andrew Jackson, a PhD student in geography and the AMS U-Pass commissioner. “If we can demonstrate with this research a longer and longer commute, then we can make a case for improvements to rapid transit in the UBC-Broadway corridor or even greater improvements to student housing on the UBC campus.” According to a Jackson, the licence will help shape transit lobbying by pairing the maps of the Lower Mainland with a list of students by postal code. The same process has been used by the University of Washington in promotional materials and a 2001 study of the distribution of university staff in Seattle. “If you look at a six-digit postal code, it’s possible to identify particular routes and a particular suburb, such as Richmond, for example, which has a growing population of student commuters,” said Jackson. “It allows the AMS to determine the home suburbs from which students commute to and from the campus every day,” he said. “That’s important, because it shows the routes that are patronized most heavily.”

According to Carole Jolly, the director of Transportation Planning at the university, UBC does yearly tests called Screenline counts, where the people commuting to campus through the main entrances on 4th, 10th and 16th avenue are tallied by type of vehicle. “We do that on an annual basis, which has provided us a very good snapshot of temporal changes in transportation trends over time,” Jolly said. “That allows us to better understand, overall, how many people are traveling on what type of mode.” The university also does a transportation survey every two to three years, with one planned for this year, according to Jolly. “The purpose of this survey is to help augment the Screenline data that we do every year,” she said, adding that the surveys “give us some insight into why those trends are happening.” But according to Jackson, the research he is preparing is different from previous experiments. “Neither the University of British Columbia nor the Alma Mater Society know where those commuters begin those trips,” he said. The six-digit codes are more difficult to acquire than maps that just display three digits, as the rights are held by one Toronto company. Canada Post does not publish their three-code maps themselves, as they can periodically change from year to year. “It’s so expensive because it’s such a tedious task to digitize the


U-Pass commissioner Andrew Jackson believes the data will help make the case that rapid transit is needed for the Broadway corridor

postal codes of the entire Lower Mainland,” Jackson said. “More than one bus route runs out of a three-digit postal code area,” Jackson said, noting that in the West End of downtown, some buildings can have their own code. “The planners of TransLink say that the 480 bus route to and from Richmond has become busier than the 44 service to downtown. Now, if that’s true, and I’m not saying it is, it demonstrates the growth of a

student population in a particular suburb. “If the AMS can identify that growth and compare it to other suburbs, then they can make a case for more service on a particular route.” According to Jackson, his hypotheses are based on historical research showing the consequences of decades of planning decisions. “The commuting population to and from UBC has moved further

and further away from the university campus,” said Jackson. “If, as real estate prices increase, that trend continues, then the maps will show a greater distribution of UBC students in more outlying areas.” He has high hopes for the project. “I’m not aware of any other research that goes to this level of detail, and I think that the AMS will be unique in that respect,” he said. U


10.31.2011 |


Editor: Drake Fenton

T-Bird Standings Football Calgary UBC Sask. Regina Manitoba Alberta


UBC put on a clinic Saturday afternoon at Thunderbird Stadium, defeating the University of Calgary 36-23. UBC finished the season 6-2 and will have a home playoff game next week.

Regular season ends with victory over #1 Dinos Drake Fenton Sports Editor

It was late September and UBC had just defeated the University of Manitoba to move to 3-1 on the season. An hour after the game ended, Thunderbird Stadium was silent. Head coach Shawn Olson sat alone on a bench, staring at the vacant field before him. Perhaps he was thinking about what had gone wrong during the game and how those issues could be fixed. Perhaps he was thinking about how his team finished 2-6 the year before. Or perhaps it was in that moment of solitude, where the cheers of the crowd were a distant echo, that he realized how good his team was. Now one month later, UBC has made a statement to the whole country: they are contenders, not pretenders. On Saturday the ‘Birds soundly defeated the top ranked team in Canada, the previously unbeaten University of Calgary Dinos, 36-23. The win gave UBC a 6-2 record for the regular season, giving them second place in the Canada West. Next week UBC will host the Canada West semifinal—the first time they’ve hosted a playoff game in 12 years. Olson, who never strays from the one-game-at-a-time philosophy, was humble in his assessment of the victory. “By no means do I think this means we have arrived. [Calgary] is a really good football team and it doesn’t mean anything outside of

this moment,” he said. “Hopefully we get to meet them in the playoffs again.” It is true that UBC hasn’t arrived yet. They still have to win a playoff game, something they haven’t done since 1999 when they last hosted one. But against Calgary, the ‘Birds showed they are near unstoppable when all three phases (offence, defence and special teams) are clicking. Once again quarterback Billy Greene was a monster, throwing for 421 yards, 4 touchdowns and no interceptions. “[Greene] played awesome. I think that was the best game I’ve seen him play since I got here,” said Olson. “He was really efficient and there was a confidence about him.” There is no one else in the conference on his level. He has 2558 passing yards on the season, which is not only the most in the country, but also 631 more than the next closest quarterback in the Canada West. His 20 touchdown passes are also tied for first in the country. “I always give [Greene] a hard time because he always gets interviewed and everyone is always talking about Billy Greene,” said fifth-year safety Chris Mark. “I give him a hard time and tell the O-line to let a block or two through.” Green brutalized Calgary’s defence on Saturday. The Dinos entered the game with the top ranked total defence and the top ranked scoring defence, yet Greene and the UBC offence managed to shred them for more than 500 yards. Olson has to be given credit for putting together a solid game plan

and finding the weaknesses in Calgary’s defence, but it was the team’s offensive line that really shone on Saturday. Facing a Calgary defence that employs a 3-4 defensive scheme— three lineman and four linebackers—Calgary would rush at least one linebacker on almost every single play. The difficulty for an offensive lineman in defending this kind of scheme is that it’s hard to predict where the pressure is coming from.


Yet all game, the O-line did an amazing job of picking up Calgary’s blitzes and keeping Greene on his feet. “Pass protection all year has been very, very solid. I think we have the lowest amount of sacks in the league,” said Olson. “We got a bunch of young guys in there, so we are pleased with their development.” In the second half of the game, UBC also showed they are not

exclusively reliant on the strength of Greene’s arm. Earlier in the year I said that defence, not Greene, would determine the success of this team. In the second half against Calgary, with UBC’s offence slowing down, the defence proved that. They kept Calgary off the scoreboard and limited them to only 126 yards. They made big stops on second down, and the run defence, which has been suspect all year, contained Calgary’s dominant rushing attac. This forced the Dinos to throw because they had to, not because they wanted to. “The focus in the locker room [before the game]—you could cut it with a knife,” said Olson. That focus was evident all game long, even in the final 2 minutes with UBC leading by 13 points. You could hear the defence screaming at each other to not let up. With the game in hand, they refused to give Calgary any easy yards. UBC will face the University of Saskatchewan in the Canada West semifinal next week. UBC lost 3633 to Saskatchewan earlier in this season, and lost to Saskatchewan in three straight semifinal games from 2004 to 2006, but all of those games were on the road. If this team can finally get a playoff victory, then a Vanier Cup run is not out of the question. Perhaps in another month Olson will once again find himself sitting alone in Thunderbird Stadium, reflecting on how in one year this team went from the basement of the Canada West to one of the best teams in the country. U



7 6 5 3 3 0

1 2 3 5 5 8

Soccer (W) W L


TWU 12 1 UBC 11 1 Alberta 9 4 Victoria 7 4 Sask. 7 5 Calgary 6 5 Fraser Valley 3 8 Manitoba 2 9 Regina 1 10 Lethbridge 0 11

1 2 1 3 2 3 3 3 3 3

Soccer (M) W L


Victoria 10 UBC 7 TWU 8 Alberta 7 Calgary 6 Sask. 5 Lethbrige 1 Fraser Valley 1

2 1 4 3 6 7 11 11

2 6 2 4 2 2 2 2

Hockey (M) W L


Sask. Calgary Alberta Manitoba UBC Lethbridge Regina

2 0 2 1 2 1 1

5 5 4 4 3 3 2

1 3 2 1 1 4 5

Game notes

1999 421

The year UBC last won a playoff game. The number of yards Billy Greene threw for on Saturday.


The number of yards Calgary threw for in the second half.


The number of UBC receivers that had more than 40 receiving yards .

4 3

The number of wins UBC had at home this season. The number of points UBC lost to the University of Saskatchewan earlier this year. They will face them in Canada West semifinal.


The number of years UBC went before winning at Thunderbird Stadium this season.


The number of games UBC will have to play on the road if they make it to the Vanier Cup.

10.31.2011 | Sports | 7 RECREATION >>

UBC burlesque: shaking into shape

Bird Droppings

Feathers, sequins and stripping aren’t required to be a burlesque dancer Zafira Rajan Contributor

UBC Burlesque is a dance club that redefines the typical stereotype of burlesque and cabaret. Suzanna Lukaac, a fourth-year Science student and member of UBC Burlesque, said it’s an activity that focuses on self expression through sensual dance moves. “It’s not necessarily just about a striptease and wearing skimpy outfits; it’s using your body to make movements, to make a flow with the music, with the lyrics...We’ve only ever taken one piece of clothing off, and it was a cardigan,” Lukaac said. “There are extremes in burlesque and people only think of one extreme. They don’t consider everything else that’s part of it.” People may be surprised to learn that one doesn’t have to be a sexy, confident vixen to join or enjoy this club. Even if you’re just looking for an alternative workout, burlesque may be right for you. Instructor Kirby Rae explained the beauty of burlesque: if you enjoy dance and exercise, you’ll be toning your body without even realizing it. “You’re using your body and you’re focused on the movements; sometimes you forget that you’re actually working out. It’s a workout distraction, people say. It’s also a really good way to do cross training,” she said. Lukaac agreed, adding that just their warm-up is a whole workout in itself. “We do a good, upbeat warmup with really upbeat music, so it really gets you going,” she said. “For me, it’s great cardio and one of those things to do for exercise.” In addition, Rae explained how this form of dance works your body. “A lot of the movements are precise, and if they’re slow you have



The UBC burlesque dance class isn’t as racy as you would expect. The class is a great way to stay in shape while still having fun.

to be engaged. So, you are working your core and your body as you are isolating the movements and your muscles.” Some may be apprehensive about whether or not they are cut out to be in such a free environment that demands a certain level of confidence and personal expression. However, Lukaac was quick to put this fear to rest. “It gives you more confidence, and it’s a really comfortable environment to be in. You know no one

is judging and you have the freedom to interpret moves your own way. It doesn’t make you self-conscious of your level of dance, it just lets you move,” she said. “We even have a guy in the class. That’s called ‘brolesque,’” Rae added with a smile. Burlesque may not be for everyone. Lukaac herself got pulled into it by a friend during UBC’s Shopping Week, and though she fell in love with it, she said burlesque might not be “everyone’s cup of tea,” especially

if you’re not one to naturally interpret upbeat music and are more accustomed to being told what to do in instructional fitness classes. Nevertheless, she said burlesque is a great mood-booster for anyone; she “always walks out happy,” and looks forward to the class every week. “It’s a great thing to have.” Rae encouraged people to get involved. “If you’re on the fence about whether to try it, come take a class and see what it’s like. Just jump right in.” U

Women’s hockey looking for fresh start Drake Fenton Sports Editor

The UBC women’s hockey team has made the playoffs once in the last seven years and has yet to win more than eight games in a season. This offseason, head coach Nancy Wilson stepped down to focus on running her business. Without a skipper and with a team struggling to find success in the Canada West, UBC hired former University of Toronto Blues standout Jen Rawson to breath life into the program. “It’s about building the idea of a championship culture and really striving to always be better,” said Rawson. “I really want to instill a mentality of that championship culture and that identity of a winning team. I want to move in that direction.” Rawson will be forced to build that mentality from the bottom up. UBC entered the season ranked dead last in the Canada West, but their ranking is something Rawson said she could not concern herself with. “I always go into a game with an expectation I am going to win; it never differs,” she said. “I always see games as an opportunity to win. I never see it as, ‘Oh, I hope we tie.’” If UBC expects to win this year, they will need to improve at putting the puck in the net. Last year they only averaged 2.1 goals per game. The top three teams in the conference averaged 3.2 goals per game or


UBC had a 7-16-1 record last season. They are looking to rebuild quickly with a new coach.

better. Rawson believes the best way to fix the ‘Birds scoring woes will be through good defence. “I lean to more of a defensive style of coaching. You have to be strong and confident in your own end,” she said. “I do really believe that good offence comes from good defence. With the game now being so much faster and with more talented players in the CIS, you have to be quick on that transition to offence. [That] is really key.” Last season’s leading scorer, fourth-year Kaitlin Imai (7-10-17), is someone Rawson will be looking to for not only offence, but to lead

the team. Rawson named her team captain this season. “Being in your fourth year, there is a higher expectation as a varsity athlete,” Rawson said. “Not only in showing leadership to the first- and second-years but also in [her] play. She needs to be confident in her preparation, fitness and her execution.” As captain this year, Imai stressed the importance of making sure the team plays with greater consistency. “Inconsistency and over analyzing can lead to the unsuccessful play we kind of had last year,” she said. “If we continue forward with

the [consistency] we are building up through practice each week then we should be successful.” Yet how well UBC plays on either offence or defence may be negated by their goaltending situation. They entered the season with three rookies all vying for the starting role. After four games, Carly Butcher and Samantha Langford have emerged as the front runners. Rawson has deployed them rotationally and though they have been solid so far, rookies normally face growing pains in their first season, especially when there is no veteran presence to guide them. UBC currently sits last in the Canada West with a 1-2-1 record. They have been shut out twice. Yet they also cruised past the University of Lethbridge, winning 4-2. Lethbridge is tied for first place in the conference. “So far this year the results have been really interesting, with a lot of fluctuation between who is beating who,” said Rawson. “That is really encouraging and anybody can win on any given night. If you execute your game plan then you can be successful against good teams.” Creating a championship identity at UBC will not be an overnight process for Rawson, but if the team can play with more consistency—and score a few more goals—the ‘Birds have the potential to compete this season, and perhaps win more than eight games for the first time in program history. U

Women’s soccer The UBC women’s soccer team ended their regular season with a 3-2 victory over the University of Lethbridge Pronghorns. Janine Frazao lit up the scoreboard 3 times to bring her season goal total to 16. Frazao scored in the 22nd and 38th minute, giving UBC a 2-0 lead. The Pronghorns managed to shorten the deficit in the opening minutes of the second half, when Janelle Groten headed in a free kick from Kayla Wurzer. Lethbridge had momentum in their favour for the majority of the second half but failed to capitalize due to solid goal keeping by UBC’s Emily Wilson. Frazao gave UBC some breathing room in the 83rd minute when she potted her third goal. Lethbridge was able to score in the final minutes, but it was too little too late. Due to Trinity Western also emerging victorious on Sunday, UBC finishes the season in second place with a 11-1-2 record. Lethbridge ended the season as the only team in the Canada West without a win, going 0-11-3.


Women’s volleyball This weekend, the UBC women’s volleyball team began their bid for their fifth consecutive national championship with two straightset victories over the University of Regina. On Saturday UBC downed Regina 25-18, 25-12 and 25-16. Lisa Barclay and Shanice Marcelle led the ‘Birds with ten kills each. Setter Brina Derksen-Bergen coordinated the Thunderbirds’ attack with 27 assists. “Another strong performance, especially our blocking—and in particular [Marcelle] and Kyla [Richey] were very effective,” said UBC head coach Doug Reimer. “[Derksen-Bergen] ran a nicely balanced offence both nights.” Next weekend the ‘Birds will be on the road again, playing UBC Okanagan in another two game series. U


10.31.2011 |


Editor: Ginny Monaco



Torture films satisfy lust for violence


Rhys Edwards Contributor


Rich and Rob Simpson are ready to bring their band from the television to the streets of Vancouver. They even performed in The Ubyssey’s offices.


Student band ready to go local after national competition

Andrew Bates Senior Web Writer

Sometimes it’s difficult to get all of the cleaning done. Midterms, Wednesday night drinking, Friday night drinking, making an audition tape for a nationally televised music competition. Student band The Simpson Brothers understand. “[The audition] wasn’t a very impressive shoot, to be honest,” said Rich Simpson, a UBC literature major and member of the Simpson Brothers. “There [were], like, flies buzzing around with garbage behind us because we had a garbage mound piled up from the term.” The Simpson Brothers were the second band to be eliminated from

the CBC reality show, Cover Me Canada. The group is made up of students. Simpson’s brother Rob, who is a psychology major, and integrated engineering student Evan Findlay, are both from UBC. Bryson Dodwell studies music at VCC. “At the very least, it’s just great exposure. It’s been great to work with the people we got to work with,” said Rich Simpson. “One of the biggest things about the show is sort of a positive and also a challenge for us at the same time,” Rob Simpson said. He noted that a lot of their televised songs ended up being more ballad-like. “In the show, we had to really challenge ourselves, [because] we were working in a specific genre.”

The band is a mesh of two different styles. Rob and Rich Simpson’s initial audition tape, a cover of a Bryan Adams song, was accepted by the producer with the caveat that they find members to fill out a band. Dodwell and Findlay had published some progressive mathrock songs under the name Strange Fruit to music hosting website Soundcloud. com. The combination seems to work well for them. “What we bring to the table is whatever we like, and we always find a way to sort of mesh the different styles,” Rich Simpson said. “There’s some areas where we all collide in our interest.” The band aims to keep that creative mix as they prepare to play their first post-Cover Me Canada

decision to close after falling revenue. Zulu’s storefront, a few doors down from the current Videomatica location, will be an “ideal partner” because of the similarities between the two businesses, said Peat. Both will remain separate entities. The space that Videomatica will take up is roughly one third of its current location and will not compromise Zulu’s music stock. Instead, Zulu will consolidate its current displays to make room. Efforts have been made to raise funds to save the expansive movie collection, with suggestions of having the collection housed at a university where it would be accessible to all. “We’ve been talking about it for months from the time we first realized that the rentals was an unworkable situation and that we couldn’t afford a store that big on 4th Avenue,” Peat said to the Georgia Straight. “But the truth is, sales is not like rentals. It’s still very steady and there’s still quite a bit of demand for physical media, so all our rabid collector types are saying, ‘Wait a minute, what do we do without you? There’s so few stores now where we can buy this kind of thing.’ And they’d rather buy from knowledgeable people.” Videoxmatica will open inside Zulu Records sometime in early November.

Videomatica will house one third of their 35,000+ piece collection at Zulu Records.

shows, including one on November 5 at the King’s Head pub. “One side of us that people haven’t seen is [that] Bryson and Evan bring a lot of technical skill to the table and it allows Rich and I to sort of go in the places we’re more comfortable to show people...what they didn’t see on national television,” he said. “We will gear up and play as many shows as we can and show people what they missed.” Though the band will play some original songs, they have an appreciation for the art of the cover. “It seems as if the whole reason the show became popular in the first place is people want to hear really unique interpretations of songs,” Rob Simpson said. “That’s going to come back.” U

Arts Briefs Vision Vancouver announces creativity platform Vision Vancouver has its eye set on modifying office and industrialized zoning to make it easier for artists to find spaces to work, said Mayor Gregor Robertson on Wednesday. “We’re looking at space in the city and enabling artists to use that existing space more effectively than its current use,” Robertson said. This move, which is part of Vision Vancouver’s new creativity platform, is setting arts and cultural groups at ease; they know that the party will not reduce any of their funding in the next three years. Included are also plans to have an underwritten “culture pass” program that would allow families to attend cultural events even if financially unable to do so. “It is basically being more flexible with the zoning to enable more artists’ use and to find more space that right now is in limbo,” said Robertson. Videomatica collection finds a home at Zulu Records Videomatica will be consolidating with Zulu Records to keep the 28-year-old video collection in public circulation. Videomatica owners Graham Peat and Brian Bosworth made the


Rio Theatre liquor licence may end film screenings The Rio Theatre may have to give up movies if it wants to sell booze. The theatre, located near Broadway and Commercial, is home to concerts and stage performances in addition to showing first-run movies and cult classics. But the Rio’s attempts to obtain a liquor license have hit a big snag. According to the Georgia Straight, they have been told by the province that they will be unable to operate even as a part-time movie theatre if they want a permenant liquor

licence. (The Rio has obtained special occasion licences in the past for film events, as has the Norm Theatre in the SUB.) Final approval on the licence will be made by the provincial government in a month. The owner of the theatre is pushing a petition for changes to the model, which has been supported by NDP culture and film critic Spencer Chandra Herbert. The Liquor Control and Licensing Board have said they will consider whether public safety issues can be addressed if the regulations are changed. U

Over the Halloween weekend, Psycho played at the Norm Theatre. While many love the Hitchcock classic, in recent years horror films have evolved—or devoloved—and few have been as prominent or controversial as those within the ‘torture-porn’ subgenre. Torture porn (a term coined by film critics) is classified by several characteristics: extended depiction of the physical and mental brutalization, invasion and abuse of human beings, the apparent meaninglessness of such depictions, and a basic plot. The most obvious examples of torture porn include the Saw and Hostel films, though the genre is also popular abroad, with films such as the South Korean Old Boy or Serbia’s A Serbian Film. For the past decade, torture porn has captured the public’s attention. “A lot of critics and scholars point to its origin after 9/11, specifically after the start of the war in Iraq,” said Ernest Mathijs, an associate professor in the department of theatre and film studies. “As gradually news got out of the human rights abuses and the torture...critics drew that comparison immediately.” Financially, they are extremely successful productions, generally created on a low budget and providing a consistently high return. However, there is more to the genre than circumspect social relevance, as Mathijs, who instructs the popular cult cinema course at UBC, pointed out. It is an exercise in the perception of morality itself. “In the torture porn group of films, shifting of moral positions is often seen as a kind of game you can play without too many consequences...[the genre] asks us to play judge in issues of morality, without bearing any of the consequences.” Another thing to keep in mind while watching hitchhikers get eviscerated is the fundamental human impulse towards violent phenomena. The representation of extreme gore is nothing new (think Homer’s Iliad), as it addresses our need for self-assessment. “The visceral is something that sort of hits you and shocks you to the core, and traumatizes you, potentially,” said Mathijs. “You don’t have a ready answer for it or an explanation for it, but you sense that there’s something there. “And the horror genre, and the torture porn genre specifically, asks you to just continue that thought a little bit further, until the point where it really becomes uncomfortable.” U

10.31.2011|Games&Comics | 9

Crossword Across 1— Ancient Athens’s Temple of _ ; 5— Rubs out 9— Seine spot 14— Leak slowly 15— _ accompli 16— Uneven 17— River in central Switzerland 18— Salver 19— Angered 20— Beget 22— Caterpillar rival 23— Besides 24— One who osculates 25— Attempts 29— Remove hair 32— Ambush 34— Captivated 39— Came down to earth 40— Diarist Nin 42— One of The Simpsons 43— Medieval musician 45— Passionate 47— Dread 49— Mends a shoe 50— Thin candles 54— Seinfeld uncle (CUP) — Puzzles provided by Used with permission.

Got comics? Send them to

Comicsmaster by Maria Cirstea

56— Mine prop 57— Gramineous 63— “ _ by any other name…” 64— Light air 65— On _ with 66— Metal pin 67— Plains native 68— Fast fliers 69— Snow conveyances 70— Clublike weapon 71— Smoke deposit

Down 1— Quickly, quickly 2— Back 3— Architect Saarinen 4— Blueprint detail 5— A lot 6— Capacitance units 7— Decree; 8— Eye sore 9— By the day 10— Sign of spring 11— Actor’s parts 12— Grenoble’s river 13— Passover feast 21— Tabula ____

24— Russian drink 25— Did the butterfly 26— Anklebones 27— 16th letter of the Hebrew alphabet 28— Diner orders 30— Makes well; 31— Black bird 33— Tall tales 35— Bread spread 36— 100 dinars 37— Salinger girl 38— 24 hour periods 41— Bit of film, to a photog 44— Goals 46— General _ chicken 48— Aztec god of rain 50— Autocratic Russian rulers 51— Month of showers 52— Establish as the truth 53— Alleviated 55— First name in cosmetics 57— Glimpse 58— Comic Rudner 59— Miss 60— _ facto 61— The Green Hornet’s sidekick 62— Formerly, formerly;


10.31.2011 |


Editor: Brian Platt

The future of Occupy Editor’s Notebook Brian Platt

UBC’s animal research statistics may be useless, but at least they’re the first university to release them.


The Last Word Parting shots and snap judgments on today’s issues Student senators suddenly remind us they exist Last week, the AMS was set to pass a motion calling on UBC to give honourary degrees to the surviving Japanese-Canadians who were forced out of UBC and sent to internment camps during World War II. However, the motion was delayed after opposition from student senators. This reminded us of an important point; UBC has student senators. No really, we do! Honest! There are two dozen of them, five of which were elected by the entire student body, but over the last year, they’ve done precious little advocacy of academic issues in a public setting. This wasn’t always the case; student senators have often championed causes popular with the student body, such as the Pass/ Fail grading option for electives. But it seems that now, our senators can only speak publicly about something if they’re opposing other students. We’re not saying the stand of student senators was entirely without merit. But we could give their opinion a little more weight if we start seeing them speaking out on other issues.

It’s kind of your job to take a stand on these things, AMS Why is the AMS so worried about disagreeing with the Senate anyway? The Senate wants more time to deliberate over whether honourary degrees are the right way to pay tribute, but that’s no reason for to the AMS to shy away from taking a stand. As the Senate deliberates, it’s important for them to get a sense of where other university bodies stand. The stance of the student union should be an important consideration. Instead, the opposite situation has taken hold, where the student union is waiting to see what the Senate says. If this is just a matter of getting all the information about why honourary degrees may not be the best option, that’s a very acceptable

reason for waiting. But the student union does not need to wait for the university to make up their mind; it should be leading the way on this. If a majority of the elected student representatives on AMS Council think honourary degrees are suitable, then just go ahead and say so.

The world learns of UBC’s ability to blow things up Last week, we had a video of ours go viral. Entitled “Engineers blow things up with science,” it shows EUS Vice-President Hans Seidemann, all decked out in a white lab coat and helmet, initiating chemical reactions that made various things go boom. Apparently, this was noteworthy enough that last week, it suddenly was shown on College Humor, Ebaum’s World, Gizmodo and a daily TV program shown in 24 different states. Thanks, Reddit. While we don’t understand the internet, we do understand that the engineers of this campus can do pretty cool things—even if they need The Ubyssey’s awesome multimedia skills to give their exploits proper attention. We should also add that our video editor was cruelly thrown in the dunk tank by the EUS earlier this year, so they are lucky his vicious sense of revenge didn’t get in the way of making this video.

Reason to be wary of a new policy on misconduct UBC-Vancouver’s decision to change its non-academic misconduct policy is long overdue, and it’s something we called for after Sasan Ansari was admitted to UBC law school despite having killed his friend in 2006 by stabbing him 33 times. In such extreme cases, we called for some kind of “good character” clause that could at least allow UBC to examine the particulars, rather than throw its hands up and declare there was nothing it could do. Yet students need to make sure to look at the fine print of what’s coming in with the overhaul.

While the new policy hasn’t been officially released, UBC-V has stated that it is based on UBCOkanagan’s. If that’s true, then much of the new policy will simply spell out the particulars of what the current policy vaguely covers. But UBC-O’s code also lists a host of prohibited conduct that goes much further. UBC-V has said they will make the policy “student friendly,” and we can’t say too much until we see the wording of what’s actually being proposed, but this will likely be a very large expansion of the current policy. If UBC-O’s policy was loosely interpreted, it could allow the university to discipline students for underage drinking or throwing a kegger—in other words, being a student. We applaud the university for clarifying the current bare-bones policy. Students must now take a strong interest in this and ensure that the new policy is reasonable and clear.

The greatest review ever done by anybody in the history of the world needs more review The AMS is going to be conducting a review of its new health and dental plan to try to patch up any areas where coverage has lapsed in the switchover. This comes after many students complained that they now had to pay for drugs which were covered under the old plan. It’s surprising to us that this is necessary, because we recall a certain quote from AMS VP Finance Elin Tayyar in our September 28 news story on the new plan. How did that go again? Oh, right. When adopting the new plan, the AMS “did the most thorough review of any community or university in the history of Canada.” Considering he’s in his second term, one would think Tayyar would have learned by now to be careful about preposterous exaggerations when speaking on the record. It also goes without saying that the AMS should have done more work before the transition to prevent these problems. U

It has been four months since Adbusters first advocated an “occupation” of Wall Street, six weeks since the tents went up at Zuccotti Park, four weeks since the media started paying attention and two weeks since a Canadian version of Occupy Together began. But as the novelty of the movement wears off and the occupiers don’t get into the media anymore just for being there, where is all this heading? It’s increasingly looking like that will depend on who screws up first: the occupiers, or the police. In various American cities, eviction notices have been issued by city councils, and police have swept in to clear out the camps. The most spectacular eviction—for all the wrong reasons—took place in Oakland last Tuesday, as a rather shocking and surely unnecessary level of force was used by police to round up anyone who refused to leave. A 24-year-old Iraq War veteran had his skull fractured after he was allegedly hit by a police-fired tear gas canister. The Occupy camps are a difficult situation for police forces, as most large-scale protests are. I don’t envy their job. They are usually just taking orders from City Hall and many of the people they are supposed to control have the idea that fighting back against a cop is a heroic act. Yet Vancouver police have so far set a very high standard of intelligence and patience in dealing with this, to the point where the Occupy Vancouver Twitter account thanked the Vancouver Police Department on Saturday for “all the fine work they have done in our community.” Meanwhile, mayoral candidate Susan Anton has bombastically

claimed that if she is elected, the occupiers will have seven days to leave. Chris Shaw, a UBC professor who is anti-Olympics, anti-vaccination and pro-9/11 “truth,” told the Georgia Straight that any such move by the city would result in “civic disturbance.” That would be a disaster. City Hall and the VPD should not try to force an early end to this. Prominent activists are already growing frustrated with the endless, aimless debates in the general assemblies, and rightfully so. I briefly visited one on Friday evening and it was insufferable. At some point, change is going to come in how the movement is organized. That’s not to say there aren’t still good things happening. The marches to close bank accounts and move them into credit unions are a very good way of advancing the cause. The library, live music and speeches keep the camp a lively place. But what happens to a leaderless movement when periodic marches stop getting attention? Here’s the problem: a significant proportion of humanity is taken up by idiots who do stupid things. Unless smart people are able to channel Occupy’s energy in a direction that will start to influence political leaders, idiots will destroy the movement. At some point the trafficblocking will go too far, or windows will get smashed or a cop will be attacked during a protest. If that happens, mainstream support will collapse and Occupy will wither. The best outcome here is that Occupy snowballs into a broad-based movement that relies less on tents and more on holding elected representatives accountable through relentless attention and campaigning. But the worst outcome is that one side runs out of patience and does something stupid and violent. In Vancouver, things are still looking pretty good. Let’s hope nobody loses their cool. U

Responses to Bookstore and Halloween articles Letters Re: “Bookstore bully,” Oct. 27 Your article regarding the AMS Outpost, would lead your readers to believe that the Bookstore engages in ongoing “bullying” tactics with its suppliers. As I clearly pointed out, this incident occurred once in 2009 and was the result of email communication from one member of staff. This was dealt with at that time by senior management, and to my knowledge, no incident of this nature has occurred since. We operate in a non-restrictive way with suppliers whereby they can address their concerns with us directly. Let me repeat, the Outpost is a student venture and we’re not out to in any way damage the way that they can do their business. —Debbie Harvey Managing Director, University Community Services

Re: “Costume ideas for the lazy and flippant,” Oct. 27 I was shocked to read the statement referring to young women as “bitches.” Really? I’m going to assume the writers

at The Ubyssey don’t need me to spell out the argument for why this is offensive, and why a student newspaper should not be employing this type of language. I could easily go on to express the problem with encouraging UBC students to dress as “really, really slutty slut[s],” or the suggestion regarding dildos and artificial vagina’s, but at least the columnist acknowledged that the latter was “lewd and degrading” himself. I understand there is meant to be humour behind this article and that the alternate position is described in the opposite page article “Gender bending All-Hallows Eve,” so this is not a critique without qualification, however, I feel like I cannot leave the statement “Bitches love kittens” unchallenged. —Nicole Bakkar Law 1 I just read your newspaper for pretty much the first time. The article that had Halloween costume suggestions by Bryce Warnes was hilarious. Give my regards to him. The “ghost” bit really put the button on that article. Thanks for making me laugh. —Carmine McCutcheon


10.31.2011 |


Pictures and words on your university experience


The trip is over, but the tattoo remains Melodramatic Musings Will Johnson It could have been worse. I could have had a swear word tattooed on my neck or a naked lady on my stomach. I’ve seen misspelled translations and smudged artwork. Google “bad tattoos” and your browser will be inundated with hundreds of images of horrifying ink work. So maybe I shouldn’t be too upset about the small tribal dolphin tattooed on my right forearm. I wasn’t drunk. I was just in a weird mood during a rainstorm on Koh Phi Phi, a tropical island off the west coast of Thailand. There’s a tattoo parlor pretty much every 20 feet and tourists flock in, drunk from the beach parties, to get Thai writing or elaborate dragons or some other cliché permanently etched on their skin. The places stay open until the early hours of the morning. I saw one girl with the Coca-Cola symbol on her ribcage. Another dude got “Spicy Red Curry 45 Baht”

tattooed across his shoulders in Thai. When I asked him why he had his favourite menu item on his back, he asked me, “Why don’t you?” It was my second week in Thailand and I’d been trying to say yes, trying to keep my mind open to new experiences. So when this chubby guy asked me in thoroughly broken English if I wanted to get a bamboo tattoo, I shrugged.

I’ve always wanted to be the kind of guy who goes to Thailand and gets ill-advised tattoos.

“Sure,” I said. “Wha’ you want?” he asked. I only thought about it for a second. “A dolphin,” I replied. My little sister has a dolphin tattoo, and that makes sense for her. Both of us were competitive swimmers with the Pacific Dolphins when we were teenagers. I figured we could match. And you know what? I’ve always wanted to be the

Be sure to send us your on-campus event listings!


Boom, my tattoo artist, was a very convincing salesman. Now, I have a dolphin on my arm.

kind of guy who goes to Thailand and gets ill-advised tattoos. Now I am. It was an interesting experience, laying on my back watching geckos slither across the bamboo thatching in the ceiling. “Wha’? You no cry?” asked

Jonny Wakefield |

Boom, my artist, while he repeatedly stabbed me with a sharp piece of bamboo. He smiled at me. When people look at the photos, they all say the same thing: “You let that guy tattoo you?” In the pictures, Boom has a frizzy mop of hair trailing in all directions

out of his bandana and a sparse little goatee. He’s about half my size and he’s not wearing a shirt. Neither am I, now that I think of it. And then of course there’s the fact that the guy is named Boom. At first I didn’t believe him, thinking maybe I was mishearing him. “My name Boom. Like BoomBoom,” he said. Then he laughed. So while that was a fun little adventure, now I find myself traipsing around with a questionable tattoo in plain sight. Every time I lift my hand to my face or run my fingers through my hair or drape my arm around a friend, there it is: my little dolphin. I’ve debated my options for a while. I thought about getting it covered with a larger tattoo, or maybe getting it lasered off. But while I’ve spent over a year deliberating, it’s starting to look pretty comfortable there. Some say I should keep it, to remind me of the experience. But I have a feeling it will be hard to forget. To read more of Will’s columns, check out his website at or follow him on Twitter @GoodWillJohnson.

12 | Scene | 10.31.2011

Sudoku by Krazydad Ski Ninjas by Kyle Lees—The Argus (Lakehead University)

The Daily Snooze Weekly Comic by Jacob Samuel—The Peak (SFU)





Come on, guys. We really need comics Jonny Wakefield

October 31, 2011  

The Ubyssey's issue for October 21.