February 9, 2016

FEBRUARY 9, 2016 | VOLUME XCVII | ISSUE XIX PROUD OF OUR SEED SINCE 1918

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NEWS

MODERN DATING

SCIENCE OF SEX

PERSPECTIVES

Board advised not to divest from fossil fuel

I’m a horrible person online

How does your brain react when you’re having sex?

My sexuality exists and so does yours

THE UBYSSEY

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t p age 5

s u x p e ple s

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TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 9, 2016

YOUR GUIDE TO UBC EVENTS & PEOPLE

EVENTS

2

OUR CAMPUS

Lori Brotto is a sexual misconception buster Moira Warburton News Editor

FRI 5 - 12 OUTweek @ ON CAMPUS

A full eight days to celebrate “Claiming our Power, Claiming Ourselves: Healing our Communities through (Un)Learning.”

FREE

SAT 6 KOERNER’S HOUSE PARTY 8 P.M. @ KOERNER’S PUB With midterms just around the corner, come forget your stress at Koerner’s House Party, round XIV.

$10

TUES 9 DIVESTMENT TEACH-IN 5 P.M. @ WESBROOK BUILDING Come to learn more about divestment and action that can be taken. Featuring speakers and students alike!

FREE

ON THE COVER PHOTO/ART BY Kosta Prodanovic and Tim Hoggan

Want to see your events listed here?

Email your event listings to printeditor@ubyssey.ca

U THE UBYSSEY

STAFF

EDITORIAL

Features Editor Coordinating Editor Vassi Sharlandjieva Will McDonald coordinating@ubyssey.ca features@ubyssey.ca Design Editor Aiken Lao printeditor@ubyssey.ca News Editors Moira Warburton & Emma Partridge news@ubyssey.ca Culture Editor Olivia Law culture@ubyssey.ca Sports + Rec Editor Koby Michaels sports@ubyssey.ca Video Producer Tim Hoggan video@ubyssey.ca Photo Editor Kosta Prodanovic photo@ubyssey.ca Opinions + Blog Editor Jack Hauen opinions@ubyssey.ca

Copy Editor Bailey Ramsay feedback@ubyssey.ca

Matt Langmuir, Josh Azizi, Bill Situ, Elena Volohova, Jeremy Johnson-Silvers, Julian Yu, Sruthi Tadepalli, Karen Wang, Jessie Stirling, Vicky Huang, Olamide Olaniyan, Henry Allan, Natalie Morris, Miguel Santa Maria, Sivan Spector, Sarah Nabila, Sophie Sutcliffe, Rithu Jagannath, Samuel du Bois, Lucy Fox, Samantha McCabe, Ben Cook, Avril Hwang, Ben Geisberg, Lilian Odera, Emma Hicks, Adam Waitzer, Avril Hwang, Lilian Odera, Emma Hicks, Ben Geisberg, Helen Zhou, Nadya Rahman, Boris Bosnjakovic, Aiden Qualizza, Jerry Yin, Arianna Leah Fischer, Tisha Dasgupta, Isabelle Commerford, Evelina Tolstykh, Mischa Milne, Julia Burnham

FEBRUARY 9, 2016 | VOLUME XCVII| ISSUE XIX BUSINESS

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When Lori Brotto was a 19-yearold psychology undergraduate at the University of British Columbia in the early ’90s, she knew one thing for certain — she wanted to be a clinical psychologist. To do that, she needed research experience.

“I just started knocking on faculty members’ doors in the department of psychology, asking if they would be keen to take on a 19- year-old undergrad who had no experience at all,” she recalls.

The only faculty member who did not shut the door in her face was Boris Gozalka. “He said, ‘Okay, I’ll take a risk. I’ll take you on, but you should know that my research involves watching rats have sex,’” said Brotto.

At the time, however, the rats were the least of her concerns.

Brotto came from a conservative Italian-Catholic family who never discussed sex or reproduction. “I didn’t even tell my parents I was studying sex research until they showed up at my Master’s thesis defence. I’d been doing it for six years. They knew I was studying rats, but they had no idea that I was studying sexuality.”

It was that total fluke which landed Brotto in her current field of work, but she has excelled.

She is now considered one of the pre-eminent experts on female arousal dysfunction, specifically focusing on the psychological factors that cause this dysfunction.

In 1997, Brotto decided to make the switch into human research for her PhD — the same year Viagra was approved in men. “A lot of people [were] starting to ask the question, ‘Well,

what about women?’” she said, noting that, in the same year, an expansive study was published which found about 43 per cent of women complained about a chronic sexual dysfunction.

Brotto was infuriated by the glaring lack of research on psychological factors behind sexual arousal dysfunction in women, especially when compared with the overwhelming body of research on men.

“You would read textbooks and there would be enormous passages on the intricate controls of the nerves … that are involved in sexual function in men,” said Brotto. “Then you would see essentially a few lines following the textbooks saying, ‘We assume that some of these same processes hold for women, but we really don’t know.’”

In addition to these factors, Brotto’s dream of a career in clinical psychology was still very much alive. “That proposition that I could be sitting on the other end of a desk with a woman in front of me and her expressing concerns to me and me not knowing what to say to her, having nothing to offer to her” was terrifying, she said.

“Obviously, there are skills that clinicians have been using, but there was almost no science at all actually evaluating whether those approaches worked.”

Brotto set out to change that. Her greatest light-bulb moment, she said, was when she was sitting in a seminar about how people with personality disorders or suicidal tendencies use a concept called mindfulness — using breathing patterns to get through difficult spells of anxiety — and suddenly realized a parallel between people who

were suicidal and women with sexual arousal dysfunctions. “[Both groups] were similarly talking about being disconnected, not being present. Their bodies were going through the motions and their minds were not tuning in,” said Brotto.

She decided to try mindfulness on women who complained of arousal dysfunction. She and her supervisor set up a pilot test — “I pilot-tested a lot on myself, on friends” — and Brotto credits that as a turning point in her understanding of female sexuality and sexual arousal.

For her, feminism plays a big role in female sexuality, particularly the emphasis it’s brought on women’s agency in sex. “The feminist voice has been very important for reminding us that sexual problems are sometimes adaptive and they’re transient and they will pass when the circumstances change,” said Brotto. “Sex is malleable. It’s not this fixed thing that lives in one part of the brain and, once it’s there, it dictates and dominates.”

Much of her career has been about busting such myths. “I’m not shy to myth bust whenever I can.

If I hear myths being perpetuated in social circles or judgments on women’s sexuality, I’m not afraid to move in and try and correct some of those ideas.”

Her least-favourite myth — and the most prevalent — is the idea that sex has to be spontaneous.

“What else do you do in your life that’s of value to you that’s not planned?” asked Brotto. “Really, nothing. When you plan [sex] and you talk about it, it opens up possibilities to fantasy and anticipation, and actually thinking about what are the factors that give rise to a pleasurable sexual encounter.”

Most importantly though, she emphasizes the role of consent — regular consent.

“It’s not just one thing that you have one conversation about at the start of a encounter and then you don’t address at any other point, it needs to be ongoing,” said Brotto.

Although the majority of her research has focused on cisgender women, her current research includes transgender male-to-females as well. Earlier in her career, she worked in a clinic which catered specifically to transgender people. The most important learning experience from this part of her career?

“That we’re all alike. Trans individuals just had a different trajectory to get to feeling female,” said Brotto. Above all, she wants people to understand that sex is not just instinct. “Even though there’s this notion that sex is innate and natural … at the same time, it is something that takes effort and work,” said Brotto. “And that’s not meant to be a doom and gloom message, but rather the opportunities that it opens when you really put effort into thinking about and working with sexuality — the possibilities are endless.” U

// NEWS

EDITORS EMMA PARTRIDGE + MOIRA WARBURTON

TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 9, 2016

3

FOSSIL FUEL//

Finance committee advises Board of Governors against divestment Samantha McCabe Senior Staff Writer

The finance committee of the Board of Governors has made a decision to advise the board against divesting its endowment fund of investments in fossil fuels.

During the open-session meeting that took place early February 3, the committee was presented with the findings of a report on the advantages and drawbacks of divestment, created based on consultation with stakeholders and the availability of the endowment fund.

The committee made the decision based on whether or not five criteria were met — a proven social, economic or environmental rationale, reasonable evidence that divestment would be an effective way to achieve the desired outcome, an absence of alternate policies, consistency with the university’s legal obligations as a trustee of the endowment fund and consistency with its other university relationships.

While the “divestment criteria” from this report asserted that there was a proven rationale to the decision, it also said that divestment was not an effective way to achieve the desired outcome, according to “reasonable evidence,” and that there was no absence of alternative policies.

UBC’s fiduciary responsibility to donors also remained a strong factor against divestment. This means that they have a responsibility to act in

the best interest of their donors’ money and remain true to its intended purpose, which lowers the flexibility of its usage.

Although some of the university’s investment donors were in favour of divestment, the majority were not and many went so far as to insist that they would pull out should the decision go through.

Instead, the university will create a Sustainable Future Fund (SFF), which will immediately receive $10 million from the Trek Endowment and will use sustainable, environmental and socially-conscious strategies to make investments.

With the creation of this fund, donors particularly interested in environmentally friendly investment will be able to choose whether or not they would like to contribute with the understanding that this fund may not financially perform as well. The SFF would also prove more flexible for the board’s allocation of money.

“I think the Sustainable Future Fund is a step in the right direction and while I am in support of this initiative, I cannot support the rejection of the fossil fuel divestment proposal,” said Julie Van de Valk, student member of the Board of Governors. “I am not voting against the motion through a duty of loyalty, but rather I am voting against the motion because I do not think that the criteria are the best decision making tools and

this decision was not adequately informed or consulted.”

Students and faculty have been lobbying for divestment since 2013 when a proposal was first put forward for it and again showed their support when each body voted in favour of the movement just last year.

That 2013 proposal, championed by UBCC350, UBC’s pro-divestment group, was leaned on heavily by the Finance Committee during this decision process, but the group was not actually pulled into the discussion.

“It’s not just frustrating because the voice of students and faculty has been ignored, but it’s also frustrating because throughout the process, it’s been essentially a closed-door process,” said Alex Hemingway, UBCC350 member and post-doctoral political science student. “If they were going to lean so heavily on our report, they really ought to have invited us into the committee to discuss it with them as we’ve continued our research since we submitted the report. Frankly, there’s some real errors in the reasoning that the board articulated today at the meeting.”

The finance committee advised that the board direct the Endowment Responsible Investment Policy Committee to continue to evaluate investment alternatives “that could improve [environmental and social governance] objectives within UBC’s fiduciary mandate.”

Environmental and social governance (ESG) objectives are essentially a policy that makes sure UBC’s

PHOTO KOSTA PRODANOVIC / THE UBYSSEY

Among last week’s protestors were many students advocating for divestment.

investments are ethically sound and in accordance with environmental, social and governance concerns.

“The intention is that the new fund would meet the highest ESG criteria and also be very low cost,” said Philip Steenkamp, UBC’s VP external.

“There’s a huge body of research that shows that you can have the same or better returns with a fossil-free fund. We partly put forward that evidence in our original proposal to the board and it seems that it wasn’t considered seriously in the process,” said Hemingway.

Greg Peet, chair of the finance committee for the Board of Governors, also reiterated several times that UBC would be open to re-evalu-

ating the benefits of divestment in the future.

“This discussion is not over and we know that and we appreciate that,” said Steenkamp.

Hemingway reiterated UBCC350’s commitment to making divestment happen at UBC, noting that they will be hosting a teachin on the policy next week. “This campaign is not going away,” he told reporters after this morning’s meeting. “We’re not going to be stopping until the university divests from fossil fuels.”

The Board of Governors will make its official decision, based on the suggestion of the Finance Committee, at its February 15 meeting. U

Live and Let Live A

ccording to the centre for Disease Control and Prevention, as high as twenty eight percent of gays and lesbians have been threatened or injured with a weapon; twice as many gays and lesbians have suicidal thoughts and attempt suicide and one in four transgender person attempt suicide. As well, incidence of depression, drug and alcohol use and a poor school attendance record, is much higher in gays and lesbians and studies have linked these problems to harassment and abuse.

Sadly, many parents do not accept their gay children, so young gay people are more likely to be homeless.

Where parents reject gay children the incidence of suicide can be as high as nine times the rate for the general population.

These are shocking statistics, but things use to be a lot worse. Incidence of black mail, denial of employment, housing, opportunities to work in government, have declined, but the fact remains that being gay, lesbian or transgender, remains a singularly oppressive existence for some people.

Gays and lesbians are your classmates, friends, acquaintances and relatives. According to the Williams Institute (UCLA), eleven percent of Americans (presumably, Canadians as well), acknowledge same sex attraction and about four percent, acknowledge being gay or lesbian.

If you want a world where no one is assaulted or driven to self-loathing or to suicide, because of sexual orientation, here are some things you could do: 1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

10.

Treat everyone kindly and do not judge or stereotype people on the basis of sexual orientation.

Remind yourself often why it is wrong to victimize others.

Do not make sexual orientation an issue in your decisions.

Do not encourage or be entertained by people spreading hate.

Make gays and lesbians feel welcome and safe in your circle.

Refrain from telling gay/lesbian jokes.

Avoid using hateful and defamatory language.

Stand up for victims.

Lend your voice to organizations that promote a safe, happy, and loving environment for people.

Gently remind those who use religion to justify prejudice, that hate and discrimination come from people, not from God. (God is love).

The Compassionate Listening Society of Alberta wedaretolisten.com

4 | News |

TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 9, 2016

DIRECT ENTRY //

Can’t enter comp sci from high school anymore

Students hoping to go into computer science now have to take one year of general science.

Julia Burnham Staff Writer

If you’re a high school student planning on applying to UBC’s computer science program for next year, you might need to rethink your plans.

The option to enter the computer science major directly from high school has been removed for the 2016 admissions. Students wishing to enter the program must now complete a general first year in the Faculty of Science before applying to the major.

Over the last five years, enrolment in computer science has doubled, with over 1800 students coming in this year alone. The direct admissions program was introduced in order to fill an enrolment gap. With the increased student interest, this is no longer required.

“We are now oversubscribed in terms of the number of students that are in our various programs,” said Ian Mitchell, associate head for the undergraduate affairs of the computer science department. “The demand for that direct admission

has surged as well. The concern that we had specifically with direct admissions is that students don’t know exactly what they want to do when they come into the university and by taking these students through the direct admissions process this was restricting.”

According to Mitchell, the varying levels of education in computer science across the province was also a concern. The goal of removing direct admissions, as well as the launch of introductory computer science courses, is to level the playing field.

“We’d like to get the right students to have an idea of what’s involved into our majors because it’s frustrating to be in the wrong major,” said Mitchell.

“I don’t really have that much expertise with the high school program, but at the same time, I don’t see why they can’t just apply like regular kids at the end of their first year,” said Ford Atwater, a combined major in math and computer science. “It’s definitely never a bad thing to have a little bit more time

AMS //

Student service portal in process of being redesigned for 2019

FILE PHOTO GEOFF LISTER/ THE UBYSSEY

to figure out what you’re going to major in.”

The origins of direct entry date back a decade ago when the goal was to get more students in the program as the university developed the capacity to instruct based on the size of the faculty. The direct admissions procedure was designed to get enthusiastic high school students into computer science by offering them admission based on academic standards that were slightly lower than that of the general Faculty of Science program.

“We wanted to have more students and we just weren’t seeing them coming in through the normal Faculty of Science stream,” said Mitchell.

The low enrolment in computer science was also addressed with the introduction of different dual major programs both within the Faculty of Science and as well with the Faculty of Arts and the Sauder School of Business. Mitchell assures that these programs are separate and are not affected by the direct admissions removal. U

Notice of Development Permit Applications - DP16001 + DP16002

Public Open Houses

1 Indian Residential School History and Dialogue Centre (IRSHDC) + 2 Library Gardens Date: Tuesday, February 23, 2016 Times: 11:30 AM - 1:30 PM Place: Foyer, Irving K. Barber Learning Centre, 1961 East Mall Join us on Tuesday, February 23 to view and comment on the above two development proposals in Library Garden.

Representatives from the project team and Campus + Community Planning will be on hand to discuss and answer questions about this project.

For further information: Please direct questions to Karen Russell, Manager, Development Services karen.russell@ubc.ca 604-822-1586 This event is wheelchair accessible.

Can’t attend in person? Online feedback will be until March 1, 2016.

To learn more or to comment on this project, please visit: planning.ubc.ca/vancouver/projects-consultations

Who doesn’t love the SSC?

Sruthi Tadepalli Senior Staff Writer

The Student Academic Systems Initiative is a project to replace UBC’s current Student Information System (SIS) technology. Everything in the student portal, such as the SSC, is to be redesigned by 2019.

“Replacing the student information system is one of the largest system replacements at the university because it is so core to everything that the institution is involved with,” said Jennifer Burns, UBC’s chief information officer.

The current system is over 27 years old, but is still quite advanced, according to Kate Ross, associate vice-president enrolment services and registrar.

“UBC built its system as a number of large research institutions have done and because of that, we have a lot of functionality in the system and we’ve had a lot of flexibility as well,” said Ross. “We’ve just reached the point where we can’t extend the life any further.

We have a lot of new needs, as the teaching and learning evolves, that we can’t match.”

Since the Student Academic Systems Initiative (SASI) was officially introduced in 2014, the team is still very much in the design period. “[This phase] is about really gathering all the requirements that we need to build an implementation plan [and] get the costing for replacing the total system,” said Ross.

The path to replacing the SIS is a long one since it requires moving over 100 years worth of data onto another system.

The process involved is very

FILE PHOTO ASHER ISBRUCKER / THE UBYSSEY

user-centred. Ross estimates that consultations with staff and faculty have already reached the hundreds. Students are also involved in the new development, particularly in SASI’s governance structure.

Last fall, a study was conducted during which students keep diaries of their interactions with the current SIS. These consultations are set to continue throughout the process of development and beyond.

“It’s a big challenge for us because we have to do it at both campuses and with all the faculties and so it’s no small feat — but we are excited about it,” said Ross. “[We] need that input from students staff and faculty on how best to engage and we have to try lots of different things to make sure we get really good input that helps us.”

Ross and Burns hope that students will also be given the opportunity to get more involved through co-op and work-learn positions.

While the new system is a long way from ready, Burns and Ross are able to offer a couple examples as to what students can expect to see. For one, they hope the system will be able to recommend courses based on program requirements and past interests. The system should also be able to tell students when they are able to graduate.

Overall, Burns hopes the new SIS will allow students, faculty and staff a seamless experience throughout their entire UBC journey.

“What is very important for me to be able to express is that the technology and the system itself is not the end goal, it’s the experience for the student and the institution,” said Burns. U

06 the unlit flame: my tinder misadventures 08 science of sex 10 support on campus 11 perspectives 12 my flirtation with the world of kink 13 ask natalie: sex edition 14 cooking for your lover + valentine’s day traditions in japan, korea and china 15 ubyssey sex survey

photographs kosta prodanovic & tim hoggan Just in time for Valentine’s Day, The Ubyssey brings you a stimulating supplement on sex, sexuality and relationships. First, our culture editor shares her Tinder adventures. Read on to learn more about chemistry — literally. Find out what happens to our

bodies at the climax in our Science of Sex feature, on page 8. We’ve also laid out campus resources and groups related to sex or sexuality. Page 11 offers a few personal perspectives on sexuality and page 12 brings you up close and personal with the world of kink. You

asked Natalie the questions you were too embarrassed to Google and, on page 13, she answers. Travel across the globe on page 14 to learn more about Valentine’s Day traditions in a few East Asian cultures, then come back home to peer into UBC’s sex life.

6 | sex |

TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 9, 2016

TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 9, 2016

the unlit flame: my tinder misadventures Olivia Law Culture Editor

L

ook at my Tinder profile.

It’s a perfect balance of cute pictures of me, selfies with my friends and beautiful yoga-sunset poses.

I’m a fun-loving, confident, witty, charming and adorable 21 yearold — or that’s what I’ll have you believe. I didn’t write anything in my bio — I don’t want to look like the keen one. I’m as selective to my right-swipes as I would be with finding a place to rent or any other big investment.

But it’s not a big investment. It’s Tinder. It’s high-stakes Instagram.

Online dating has been around since the inception of Match.com in 1995. Use of apps and websites targeted at getting people together increases year after year with an estimated 91 million people around the world signed up to at least one, according to Dating Sites Reviews. Yet there is still such a stigma around online dating and hookups. People feel that technology is removing the serendipity of “traditional” dating. In the movies, you meet somebody randomly — on the train, at the coffee shop, by complete and utter flukes.

However, going about dayto-day life lends itself to a very specific demographic of people you can meet. With online dating, you can cast the widest net possible. You don’t just have to meet and date English majors because that’s who you have all your classes with. You could meet someone utterly brilliant from the physics department just through the swipe of a finger.

Skyler Wang, leader of a student-directed seminar on the sociology of online dating, believes that “online dating” is a misleading term.

“It’s more of an introductory service rather than a dating service,” he said. “Right now, the power lies in the fact that you have access to so many more people, but the thing is you have less power in terms of controlling the situation, which is a very interesting tension.”

Ah, tension. The inevitable downfall of a texting-only relationship. My sarcasm doesn’t translate well through text.

In his seminar, Wang discusses the fantasies we create about the people we speak to online. We use carefully selected bits of imagery and information to construct our invented identities. Because we have more control over what we show of ourselves online as opposed to what we project in person, it’s easy to leave thrilling gaps which strangers can fill with their own fantasies.

“Within that fantasy is a lot of power,” Wang said. “If you feel deceived after a date with someone you meet through an app, it’s because that person doesn’t fit the fantasy you’ve created for yourself.”

But it’s not a big investment.

It’s Tinder.

It’s highstakes Instagram.

Most of the people I’ve encountered on Tinder are, in truth, different in reality than in their profile. I’m by no means an exception to this. There’s a stigma of seeming too needy. Who wants to be the keener in the relationship?

Your profile has to radiate coolness, desirability and confidence. You are your most attractive, witty self online — at least I am.

No matter how many options we appear to have on our screens, we need to be careful not to lose the faces behind them. I am guilty of this. Because of a previous (mis) conception I had of online dating — it was for divorcees, people in their mid-40s or people with very specific interests — I didn’t consider that people my age were actually meeting people online, going on dates and hooking up. The confidence I gained from just flirting online is, in my head, far more entertaining than actually meeting with some desperate random from a dating app (oh the irony, I know). So I’d arrange dates and just not show up.

I am a terrible person, yes. But in my defence, I don’t doubt that the people on the other end of the exchange were doing the exact same thing.

Online, you can say things that perhaps you don’t have the confidence to declaim in a face-to-face situation.

I cannot count the number of terrible, awful, embarrassing pick-up lines from guys I’ve matched with. Some of them are hilarious: “It’s a good thing you’re here, Livi! Because I’ve got all these tiny cutlery , but what I’m really looking for is a little spoon.” Some of them are mildly inviting — “How about you and I grab some raw vegan food, do yoga on the beach til sunset, then practice tantric sex until our bodies can’t take it anymore (sic)?” And some of them are downright rude — “I’d fuck you so hard then ejasucate (sic) all over your face.” This, I am happy to say, did not garner a response.

To date, I’ve set up around 10 Tinder dates, but have been on just one. It went well — we talked for hours, drank a lot of alcohol and I wound up safe and sound. Yet the evening mood was plagued with ongoing thoughts in my head screaming, “Stranger danger,” or worrying about how late it was, when I’d be home or whether my roommates were worried about me.

By contrast, dating someone you’re friends with is easy – you can “hang out” for days and days without consequence, without having to DTR (define the relationship).

Wang likens the process of finding “the one” online to online shopping.

“Engage in relation-shipping rather than relation-shopping,” he said. “A lot of the schemas we use is how we deal with shopping – you pick what you want, you sort. It’s kind of like you’ve ordered a dress and return it.”

But that’s not how relationships work. If you’re relation-shopping, you’re seeking out the flaws in a person. When you relation-ship, you’re giving them a chance.

I know the likelihood of finding a lifelong partner on Tinder is pretty low — I swipe right for guys with dogs and tattoos – and there’s so much more to someone than a passion for puppies and questionable artistic tastes, and that’s easy to overlook.

Finding the “perfect person” is not going to happen this way, but still I try. U

| sex | 7

8 | sex |

TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 9, 2016

your brain on sex Samantha McCabe Senior Staff Writer

B

esides the obvious, “Oh my god, is this really happening right now?” running monologue, what really happens in our brains during sex?

Let’s start with anatomy.

Electrical signals rush through several nerves running to the brain from the genitals, conveying stimulation from the thousands of nerve endings located in the most sensitive parts of our bodies.

For example, the clitoris alone is estimated to have 8,000 nerve endings, which is why stimulation at that location feels so good. At the onset of genital stimulation, these electrical messages start pinging the limbic system and amygdala — the areas of the brain associated with drives and basic emotions — sending a signal to convey sexual excitement and arousal. The body gets more excited and blood rushes into the sexual organs, causing them to become erect (the penis, sometimes the clitoris). Think of it as an, “It’s go time,” signal.

As sexual activity increases — meaning, we’re getting to the good stuff now — many other parts of the brain activate including the hypothalamus — which regulates the reward system circuit of the brain — and the sensory cortex, whose activation heightens sensation.

During sex, the hypothalamus releases a number of hormones, including dopamine — which floods our bodies with pure pleasure — and endorphins, our bodies’ opiate-like pain-killing molecules which can numb our sensations of pain. This is why rough sex can sometimes be pleasurable and also why bodies sometimes crave sex in order to get that rush of dopamine into our brains, among other reasons.

Orgasms occur when our bodies reach the peak of sexual stimulation.

During this period of time — lasting from about three to 20 seconds — brain activity actually decreases in many areas, giving us that feeling of “transcendent” happiness or bliss.

For example, the ventromedial prefrontal cortex, partially responsible for thoughts about ourselves and our fears, temporarily shuts down during this time. On the other hand, the hypothalamus and the nucleus accumbens — which processes pleasure and rewards — actually do activate and bring on several physiological responses: increased pulse rate, dilated pupils, muscle contractions and a rise in body temperature.

Some studies have even shown that having an orgasm is similar to taking heroin in that the lateral orbitofrontal cortex — which acts as a sort of “voice of reason” in controlling behaviour — shuts down during both activities.

Now that you’re armed with this knowledge, you can impress your partner, “Talk nerdy to me,” style. U

myths about sex Ava Tabatabaian Contributor

S

exual activity is fraught with misconceptions that can get in the way of both safety and a pleasurable time. We bring you two common sex myths debunked so you can enjoy more informed sexy times.

Myth: “Virginity” means an intact hymen Many still believe the hymen and virginity go hand in hand. The hymen is a thin piece of flesh that partially covers the opening of the vagina and it’s most prominently found in newborns. In many cultures, it has traditionally been believed that the ripping of the hymen during first penetration was the cause of pain and bleeding. In reality, most of the hymen is worn away with age by routine activities such as walking, sports or masturbation. It’s common for hymens to be torn or stretched before the first time someone has penetrative sex.

So what really causes the pain and bleeding during that first time? The myth surrounding the painful tearing of a hymen during first intercourse often builds anxiety. This anxiety can aggravate minor discomfort into pain. The key is to be relaxed and ensure every sexual act is consensual so that the vagina can become sufficiently relaxed for pain-free penetration. Don’t underestimate the power of finesse and sensuality.

Communicating about each other’s needs helps heighten arousal during foreplay which may ease anxiety.

If genitals become get dry, it may

help to use a water-based lubricant to minimize discomfort. A rushed, poorly lubricated and rough pistonlike pounding might abrade the sensitive vaginal tissue and cause bleeding. Lastly, remember that not everyone experiences pain and even if you do, it can be easily overcome!

Myth: People with penises cannot experience multiple orgasms One of our many ingrained presumptions about the orgasm is that people with penises can’t experience multiple orgasms. This is because there is usually a 30-minute refractory period after climax, during which the penis is unresponsive to sexual stimulation. While this means it’s true that multiple ejaculatory orgasms usually cannot occur in a single session, not all orgasms are ejaculatory in nature. Many people believe that penile stimulation is the primary way to reach orgasm. Sex educator Jack Johnston believes that by withholding ejaculation by practising to clench the pubococcygeus muscle in the pelvis or locating the G-spot in people with penises — yes, there is one and it’s called the perineum! — people can experience multiple sexual peaks. An orgasm is not restricted to the genital area, but rather can be experienced throughout the entire body. Unlike the “traditional” penile orgasm, multiple orgasms often arrive in waves, ripple through the rest of the body and, since they don’t involve ejaculation, one’s energy doesn’t dissipate as quickly. This method helps heighten the intensity of the orgasm without stimulating ejaculation. U

the science of sex and love Vassilena Sharlandjieva Features Editor

A

dmittedly, I arrived to university a very sexually unaware 19-year-old.

Sex, to me, was pretty strange and, presumably, potentially very awkward — especially if those involved are inexperienced.

“Oh, just watch some porn,” some friends suggested upon discovering my lack of familiarity with most things sexual. I would learn a lot that way, they said.

However, as a science student at heart, I keenly sought explanations in more familiar territory — a scientific journal, Clinical Anatomy.

Sex research on humans, as opposed to animal models, was only introduced in the 1950s.

William H. Masters and Virginia E. Johnson were some of the first to put human subjects inside of a lab and watch how they responded to sexual stimulation.

Although their research has been criticised for neglecting the social and cultural influences on people’s experiences of sex, they were able to provide the first clear descriptions of what happens to our physiology during sex by directly observing thousands of sexual responses in homosexual and heterosexual people alike.

That’s what I wanted to know — what can I expect to happen to my body and why?

Scientists have learned a lot since the ’50s as scientific sex research continues. People continue to offer their sexual experiences to science, such as generating orgasms in fMRI machines to shed light on what happens to brain activity during coitus or self-stimulation, or filling out questionnaires about the particulars of how they experience genital sexual arousal. They attempted to report levels of physical and emotional satisfaction empirically.

Scientists observe, analyze and debate. They try to map the body’s erogenous zones — areas of the body that induce sexual arousal when stimulated — and sexual responses to greater and greater detail. They try to explain orgasms and figure out which precise nerves are stimulated to make penetrative sex pleasurable, but they’ll admit they’re still pretty confused about some functional anatomy, including the G-Spot.

They also try to understand how it all fits in the context of evolution.

Many questions are unanswered or open to debate, and more have yet to be asked.

Inexperienced as I remain, sex makes sense to me now – to a degree. I can understand electrical signals travelling through the hypogastric, pudendal and pelvic nerves. I know what a PET or fMRI scan of the brain might show — pleasure centres lighting up and rational brain activity diminishing — so I can conceptualize that

clouding of consciousness that the researchers describe. I understand why increased blood flow through sexual organs makes them extra sensitive to stimulation and why an electric warmth spreads through the body.

The human body’s synergy is complex, but also understandable – it operates in very deliberate ways.

Biology is physical, measurable and testable. The explanations offered by a detailed review in Clinical Anatomy helped me objectively comprehend what we know about sex.

Exploring romantic love, on the other hand, has produced fewer concrete answers.

At a recent panel talk on the philosophy of love, I encountered Professor Caroline Jenkins, a philosopher at UBC who studies the metaphysics of romantic love.

She looks at questions like: Is romantic love real? Does it actually exist or is it a shared illusion, a projection of our imaginations?

If it is real, is it hardwired into our biology or is it generated by culture?

“Maybe it’s a kind of fiction that we share with each other or maybe it’s some sort of mistake that we make. That’s a possibility,” Jenkins told me in an interview.

Jenkins’ methods of trying to determine the existence of love are conceptual — she must find the right questions to ask and then construct the logic to arrive at their answers. She uses a strategy of philosophical thinking, rather than data, to construct a theory about what romantic love is.

Biological anthropologist Helen Fisher takes a different approach to investigating romantic love. “I decided to look into the brain and study this madness,” she told a TedTalk audience.

Fisher put people in different stages of romantic love inside fMRI brain scanners and found activity in areas of the brain associated with craving and obsession — “Romantic love is one of the most addictive substances on Earth,” she realized — calculating risks and gains and, ultimately, deep attachment.

“Love is in us,” Fisher concluded. “It’s deeply embedded in the brain.”

I like thinking in terms of biology.

Hormones, neurotransmitters, nerve endings and organs — these are tangible things. If we study them long enough, we start to see that they function in more or less predictable ways that can be explained.

But I probably won’t find the answers to my questions about love in science journals, contained neatly in tables and statistical analysis, or summarised concisely in review articles. Sure, they show what I might see on an fMRI picture of my brain, but they can’t tell me what to do with that or what it means.

“I love you,” I said. For whatever it’s worth. U

TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 9, 2016

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10 | sex |

TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 9, 2016

words by lisa fevral

access and diversity resources 1. Re: changes to name or gender designation If you have any questions or need help with changing your name or gender designation, you can meet with an Access and Diversity Advisor who will put in a formal request to Enrolment Services. UBC provides gender inclusive washroom around campus — to find where they are located, check out the map on the UBC website under “Know my campus — Explore Diversity.”

campus resources for counselling & sexual health 1. Campus Resources

Counselling

UBC offers a variety of counselling services to help students figure out how to have the best university experience they can.

Making an appointment with a counsellor is a healthy way of dealing with any type of problems you have. UBC offers individual counselling, group counselling, sexual assault counselling and counselling for aboriginal students. You can reach out to these professionals to ask any questions about difficulties in personal relationships, general wellbeing and mental health.

Counselling services are available for same day appointments for urgent concerns — do not hesitate to call and schedule an appointment as soon as possible if you need immediate assistance. If you are a person concerned for someone else, you can talk to someone at the counselling services about how you can help.

Location on Campus: Brock Hall Contact: 604-822-3811 2. Student Health Service Student Health Service is available to all registered UBC students and other students visiting or on exchange at UBC. There is help offered after hours as well as with a doctor on-call who is available for urgent concerns only.

Location on campus: UBC Hospital Contact: 604-822-7011 3. Wellness Centre

This is a great place to get a few tips about safer sex. The centre is staffed with students who are passionate volunteers and promote a healthy lifestyle. The Wellness Centre offers personalized support through their Peer Wellness Coach program, a number of workshops on a variety of topics and a wide selection of safe-sex products for students to purchase on a budget.

Location on campus: Irving K. Barber Learning Centre, Room 183 Contact: 604-822.8450

Location on campus: Brock Hall Room 1203 Contact: 604.822.5844 2. Assistance for discrimination and harassment

4. SASC The Sexual Assault Support Centre is available for people who identify with all genders and sexualities to get support after they’ve experienced sexualized violence, intimate partner violence and/or harassment. SASC provides a variety of services, which include crisis and short-term emotional support, support groups, advocacy, education and outreach, a community lending library and a resource area.

Location on campus: AMS Student Nest, Room 3127 Contact: 604-827-5180 5. UBC Women’s Centre This is an AMS resource for everyone who identifies as a woman.

They provide support, menstruation supplies and even a collection of feminist literature.

Location: AMS Student Nest Room 2113

campus groups 1. Pride UBC

2. CampOut

Pride UBC offers social services related to sexual and gender diversity.

Support is provided to anyone who identifies as gay, bisexual, lesbian, transgender, transsexual, two-spirit, asexual, questioning, queer, intersex and people who do not identify. Pride UBC holds social events, provides a platform for dialogue and offers to assist people who are coming out.

Location on campus: Resource Groups Centre in AMS Student Nest, Room 2103 Contact: 604-822-4638

CampOut is a summer camp providing a welcoming space for queer, trans, and allied youth between ages of 14 and 21.

Location on campus: Institute for Gender, Race, Sexuality and Social Justice, 027-2080 West Mall Contact: 604-822-7014

There are on-campus services that can provide assistance when faced with discrimination or/ and harassment. Access and Diversity student service can give advice on handling the situation in personal matters, while Equity and Inclusion Office has procedures for handling formal complaints.

AMS Advocacy Office provides legal representation for undergrad students who are in conflict with the university.

Location on campus: Access and Diversity: Brock Hall, Room 1203 (604.822.5844) Equity and Inclusion Office: 2306 – 1874 East Mall (Brock Hall) (604.822.6353) AMS Advocacy Office: AMS Nest 3118 (604.822.9855)

TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 9, 2016

| sex | 11

perspectives from around campus artwork jerry yin Editor’s note:

hese perspectives are from those around campus T who felt comfortable sharing their thoughts on their positionality in terms of sexual and romantic interests.

These perspectives were open-ended to the authors

Aiden Qualizza Staff Writer

A few weeks ago, my straight friend’s girlfriend awkwardly admitted to me that my friend felt uncomfortable being around me because he thought, that I thought, that he was hitting on me the first time we met. I’m sorry, what?

Are you that uncomfortable with your own sexuality that you think because you’re nice to another guy he’ll automatically think you’re hitting on him? When did sexuality become the determining factor whether people are nice to one another? If that thought is not oppressive, discriminatory and completely offensive, I don’t know what is!

I may like men, but that does not mean I like all men. My sexuality works exactly the same way my friend’s straight, white, male, sexuality works. This is a misconception among people who don’t identify as gay — we are not all thirsty nymphomaniacs waiting to pounce on every guy who gallops past us. Please remember this if you remember anything from this thought.

The gay community, unfortunately, is known as particularly sexually active. I will be the first to admit that I have been perpetuating this stereotype, but it bothers me because it’s not true. Yes, many gay men like to have sex. Why wouldn’t we?

I would assume

and those who wrote volunteered what information they felt was pertinent to be shared. We hope this section offers a space for anyone at UBC to relate experiences and thoughts that they see as impactful, and to expand

that there are significantly more heterosexual people in the world who have so called “loose morals” when they enter the bedroom than the homosexuals in question.

So, stop assuming that I’ll hook up with your other “gay best friend” just because I am gay. I actually have particularly high standards and I do not like being set up with every gay person you know because apparently you think it’s harder for us gays. I can take care of myself, thank you very much.

To respond to my friend’s worry, I never thought he was hitting on me. I just thought he was being genuine, which is a personality trait I respect. Though, you need to realize that I am not attracted to you. Frankly, I don’t really know how to interact around you because apparently, based on your thoughts, gay people make you feel uncomfortable. So be careful what you think and how you iterate that thought through your words, because saying things like that will only push a great group of people further away from your straight, white, male, self. U

Emma Partridge News Editor

The first thing I learned as a woman confused about her sexuality is that a lot of other women are too.

I can remember as a teen reading articles about how women find other women attractive, regardless of whether they’re

heterosexual. Women are just beautiful, they exude natural appeal, I remember reading in one magazine. The thesis of this article was — whether I realized it at the time — “Don’t worry, you’re still straight. Don’t think too much of it.”

Fast forward to university and I’m enjoying certain drunken experiences way too much, but now the rhetoric has become, “You’re just experimenting.”

“Don’t worry, you’re still straight. Don’t think too much of it.”

Perhaps there’s a better label other than pan to apply to myself, but from what I’ve learned as your average, confused woman, pansexuality is most closely reflective of my preferences.

After two relationships and several more sexual encounters with women – though no relationships with females – I came into my twenties with a better understanding of how I identify, and also that it’s OK. There is no normal. Normal is a social construct. Your sexuality is exactly what you’re supposed to be.

And yes, your sexuality exists.

Pansexuality is not experimentation or something all women identify as. It’s a distinct sexuality. Essentially, gender for me isn’t a determinant of why I’m attracted to someone. It’s much more to do with who they are. I can be romantically interested in a guy and sexually attracted

in future issues. These short perspectives are not meant to be representative of the spectrum of sexualities on campus and in the world, nor are the experiences intended to be relatable to all students on this campus.

to a girl, and vice versa.

This isn’t an advice manifesto, nor is it reflective of everyone’s experience. But the normalization of women finding other women attractive has brought us to a point where penasexuality can be erased or invalidated at every turn. All I have to say is, we exist. U

Viet Vu Contributor

“To me, being bi means I can appreciate everyone’s butts” — that’s how I opened my 2014 TEDxTerryTalks. I remember the room laughing and clapping in agreement. Everyone thought it was a good joke. Bisexuality, at its core, is that simple.

Of course, from this very simple understanding, people go on to define their own bisexuality. Just like how some love a good laugh, some bi guys love large rim glasses on guys while loving dimples on girls. Neither does defining oneself as bi “restrict” one to the gender binary. But you might ask, “What about pansexuality?” Many do identify as pan and that’s completely fine. Pansexuality’s existence doesn’t diminish bisexuality’s existence.

Unfortunately, there is a common sentiment to try to classify everyone as either gay or straight. And a bi individual navigates through that every day. This summer, while I was searching for a new place to live, I was point blank asked by my potential landlord whether I was gay or not. I answered truthfully that I wasn’t, but realized that they wouldn’t have given me the place had I said yes. When I was offered the place, I politely said no and moved on. Overall, I’m fortunate though.

None of my friends question me over my romantic interests.

Many other bi individuals are not as fortunate. Even in Canada, bi individuals — regardless of their gender — consider suicide at a rate much higher than either gay, lesbian or straight individuals. Is it because bisexuality is not as understood? Is it because it becomes easier to put pressure on them to be “straight”?

I don’t have an answer to these question. But there is one thing that’s clear to me. Bisexuality doesn’t have to be as complex as people make it to be. At its core, bisexuality is simple. U

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TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 9, 2016

fit to be tied: my flirtation with the world of kink

Kathleen Downey Contributor

“

I don’t think this is the right place.”

I’m standing outside the Sapperton Pensioner’s Hall with my friend Andy. I’d ridden the bus for an hour to get to this weirdly-silent-on-a-Saturday-night kind of suburban neighbourhood.

There is no way this is The Place.

I was expecting a non-descript building with shady windows or a house party with elegant classical music playing to mask the sounds of leather hitting skin — not a retireeaged woman smoking a cigarette on the front porch of a pensioner’s hall.

Who throws a BDSM party in a pensioner’s hall?

“You guys looking for Rascal’s?” she asks, probably noticing Andy’s

leather pants.

“Yeah,” he replies, and I notice that the flowy, sequined blouse over her black slacks is sheer, revealing a lacy black bra beneath.

Maybe this is the right place after all.

The kink community is something I’ve been aware of, but not really paid attention to since moving to Vancouver — like the body heat of the stranger sitting next to you on the bus. Except if your friends kept inviting you to things that the bus stranger would definitely be attending. And eventually you felt like you should probably talk to them at some point.

From what I already knew about kink, I expected to be surrounded by the kind of people who got pleasure out of pain — their own or others’, physical or otherwise. I

also expected my environment to be consent-heavy and accepting: a place where events that would distract from a normal party — say, somebody stripping to their skivvies and getting smacked around for a bit — were not only commonplace, but encouraged.

We enter, immediately greeted by the muffled beats of edgy pop music thumping out from somewhere inside. I’m 13 again, about to attend my first school dance. My goal tonight isn’t to become homecoming queen, so much as it is to not spill punch on myself — for one thing, this garter belt is a loan from a friend.

The ballroom inside is sectioned off into a socializing area and a play area. Almost all the attendees I could see were middle-aged, overweight or both — average people now

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changed out of their businesscasual or boardroom-acceptable wrinkle-free slacks from earlier in the day and busting out their collars and harnesses.

At the back of the room, six or seven people are all bent over and getting spanked in a variety of places by a variety of people. The sounds of leather hitting skin are audible from the entrance. One of the spankers flogs in time to the music and I wondered vaguely if her partner notices or if they are too caught up in adrenaline and endorphins to register.

This is all I have time to take in before somebody starts trying to sell me handmade paddles. “I’m a woodworker by trade,” he says proudly, and it shows. I spend a minute expressing appreciation of his craftsmanship and safely escape without buying anything, grateful that I’m not too overwhelmed by my surroundings to lose my functionality.

Before I can turn my attention back to the floor, a potbellied man in his fifties trots up to me with his hands bent into paws in front of his chest and wiggles happily at me, making the fox tail clipped to the back of his trousers sway from side to side. I nod politely, he moves on and I suddenly feel like Alice in Wonderland — surrounded by the bizarre, but not threatened.

I turn my attention back out to the play area. Stations have been set up around it for people to pick and choose as they please. Closer to me, there are rigging setups — structures for people to be suspended from, by rope, like flies caught in a spiderweb.

Andy rejoins me with his friend Bev. Her life story, which she relates to me, is occasionally interrupted by yelps as Andy bites her, playfully and painfully, not to mention the occasional ecstatic scream of pain from the floor across the tables.

From her seat on his lap, she tells me about the Bible college she went to where she met her husband. In a green corset and fishnets, she gestures below her knees to where their hemlines had to reach when seated and necklines couldn’t be more than three fingers below the collarbone. Men and women sat on opposite sides of the room unless they were engaged and then they could only sit next to each other.

She laughs at this. “I used to be the minister preaching on the corner,” she says. And now here she

is. Andy and she are play partners, but not romantically involved or dating, and both of them have other partners and relationships with varying degrees of intensity. Nonmonogamy is fairly commonplace here, along with relationship dynamics you can’t expect to be addressed in next month’s issue of Cosmo — “Top 10 Ways to Make Your Daddy Happy,” anyone? What about “How to Keep Your Slave from Topping from the Bottom”?

Andy is more dominant and gets a kick out of consensually controlling people, pushing them around a little, inflicting some pain.

Bev, on the other hand, is more submissive — she wants to be on the receiving end of the control.

But they both agree on one very important thing.

“Kink is about acceptance,” Andy says, and Bev nods enthusiastically.

I can see what they mean. I am surrounded by every body type imaginable, from model-slim to overweight, young and spry in ripped tights to corset in a walker.

Sexualities are not visible, but both Andy and Bev are pansexual and assure me that heteronormativity— while still present — is significantly less present here than elsewhere and all genders are spoken for. It is far from unusual at these events to ask straight-up about sexuality instead of the usual guessing games, and rejection is respected.

When we get bored of watching the festivities on the floor before us, the three of us retired to the aftercare room. People who have just been tied up, beaten up or roughed up can come, cuddle and eat sweets until they feel human again. The rush of adrenaline and endorphins requires a certain amount of comedown and recalibration time. To keep people safe and cared for, rooms like this are commonplace.

Cuddling is standard and we all take to it enthusiastically.

Even though none of us have been beaten or pleasurably degraded that day, we all benefit from the close, human contact and the knowledge that we are in uniquely judgementfree environment. At a quarter ’till midnight, my carriage turns into a pumpkin and I trade in my garter belt for leggings again. Sitting on the Skytrain with mussed hair, I’m glad I managed to at least shake hands with the stranger on the bus. U Names of the people featured in this article have been altered to protect their anonymity.

TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 9, 2016

| sex | 13

ask natalie: first times, sexting, improving and one night stands Remember the first time you rode a bike? No, because you sucked at it, fell over and hit your head.”

Natalie Morris Advice Columnist

“Dear Natalie, I’m going to start having sex soon, but I’m worried it’s going to be awkward. There’s so much hype around your first time and I feel like there’s all this pressure to make it special or whatever.

What do you think?”

Most importantly, your sex life involves only two people — you and your partner (unless you have an understanding otherwise). No one else is really involved. Your life is not a movie set with 10 people filming

and getting the lights right. No one else can judge your experience and decide if it’s “special,” or “magical” or whatever. It’s just you and whomever you decide to sleep with.

If you want to have sex in a hotel after prom with candles and rosé, go ahead. If you want to do it in your dorm room when your roommate’s in class, that’s cool. If you never want to have sex, or if you want to wait until marriage, that’s fine too. Your sex life is none of anyone’s business, except for you and your partner(s). Your first time having sex is going to be special because you were there. Don’t worry about making it special, just be sure you are 100 per cent ready and okay with it.

As for first time awkwardness, sure. It will probably be weird.

Do you remember the first time you rode a bike? No, because you sucked at it, fell over and hit your head. Hopefully that doesn’t happen to you during your first time having sex, but you get the point. Sex is like anything else.

You’re probably going to be bad a little at first.

It gets better.

Lube.

send nudes if you don’t want to.

Respect people’s limits and play within them. I’m not going to tell you how to sext in detail because, honestly, I don’t really want to be that involved in your sex life, but I’m sure the internet has great examples you can work off of.

Just as a PSA: Sending unsolicited dick pics to anyone isn’t cool. And that goes beyond gender here. Do not send unsolicited nudes to people. They may not want them and they may open their snapchat in front of their friends — or worse, family.

Make sure you trust whomever you send explicit stuff to. Seriously.

“Hey Natalie,

How do you sext?”

How do I become better at sex? I want to be a better partner in bed because my partner is wonderful and I feel like I’m letting them down by not being as good or as experienced as they are. What should I do to make rocking my world rock?”

In many cases, poorly.

I’m kidding. But in all seriousness, by communicating with your partner. Talk it out with them and get to know what they are and aren’t comfortable with.

They may be cool with some dirty talk, but not fine with nudes. They may love sending nude photos, but hate sending text messages of a sexual nature. Also, it’s okay not to

Communication! Surprisingly to some, the most important part of good sex is found outside the bedroom.

Communicate! What do you want?

What does your partner like? What do you wish your partner would do?

What are your fantasies and desires?

If you’re worried about not fulfilling your partner’s sex life, then tell them you want to get better and ask if there is anything you can

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do better or differently. You don’t have to do anything, mind you. Your comfort level should always be taken into consideration, but it may be as simple as being more involved during sex (i.e. not just lying there) or being more vocal… or less vocal. One must respect the roommates.

If you just feel like it’s not right yet, there are tons of websites online that can help you with ideas, positions, communication, whatever. A quick Google can really help. There’s everything from YouTube videos and women’s health magazines, to Reddit threads and Cosmopolitan, although I’ve heard very mixed things about Cosmos’ sex advice.

You are able to have a fantastic sex life, you just have to go out there and grab it by the balls… so to speak.

“Dear Natalie, Does having a one night stand make me, I don’t know, a slut?”

Nope, and I don’t allow slut shaming around here. If you want to sleep with a hundred million people, go ahead because I think I missed the memo where your sex life became public gossip. As long as you’re comfortable with the choices you’re making, I don’t see why anyone should tell you to stop what you’re doing. U Need advice? Contact Natalie anonymously at asknatalie@ ubyssey.ca and have your questions answered in an upcoming issue.

14 | sex |

TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 9, 2016

l o v e r r u o y

cooking for

artwork jerry yin

Elysse Bell Food columnist

Valentine’s Day is just around the corner and the pressure is on to impress your love interest with some seriously sexy food. Don’t have a dinner reservation? Don’t bother. I’ve got you covered with five sure-fire ideas for what to serve on the most romantic of evenings.

Garlic Soup Love is in the air and you know what else could be too? The sensuous vapours of this 44-clove garlic soup.

What better way to express your undying affection than to ensure that no one in the immediate vicinity will want to come near either of you in the near future? Speaking of undying, it’s also a great way to double check that your partner is not a vampire.

Delissio Pizza It’s not delivery, it’s… a way to deliver on your romantic promises by adding some pizzazz to your relationship!

Two Single Peas Food can be a great way to express your feelings for your dinner companion and you and your

valentine are like two peas in a pod.

Voila! Why not let them know by serving them two individual peas for dinner? They’ll be sure to appreciate your apt use of metaphor and the artistry behind your minimalist meal.

The Heart of an Ox Your love for each other is strong — strong like an ox. This one’s a hearty

meal that is sure to make theirs skip a beat.

Nothing at All

“Oh, shit. It’s Valentine’s Day already? Uh… I… well… I had kind of a crazy week and didn’t really have a chance to prepare anything. Uh, yeah.” This one’s especially great because the meal will be over as fast as your relationship. U

valentine’s day traditions in japan, china and korea Aiken Lao Design Editor

In typical Western culture, Valentine’s Day is often celebrated by exchanging chocolates, flowers and other objects of affection.

Other parts of the world celebrate romantic love — or the lack thereof — as well, but in starkly different ways. From celebrating love every month to consuming fried donut sticks shaped like the number one to celebrate being single, here’s a look at how some East Asian countries celebrate Valentine’s Day. Japan In most parts of the world, men are

typically expected to present gifts such as flowers or chocolates to women. In Japan, it’s the opposite.

On Valentine’s Day, women — single or not — are expected to give chocolates to their significant other, friends and family. Of course we can’t all afford to give $50 Godiva gift boxes to all our friends, or to ourselves for that matter.

Thankfully, the chocolates that are given to friends and family, also known as giri-choco, are relatively inexpensive. In contrast, chocolates given to a partner or romantic interest are either handmade or costly — these chocolates are known as honmei-choco. But to show appreciation for the chocolate, recipients are expected

to return a gift that is white — such as marshmallows, white chocolate or cookies are some examples — on March 14, also known as White Day.

indulge themselves in all things black — black clothes, black coffee and black bean noodles to name a few.

Korea

China

Like Japan, women usually give chocolate to men. However, Korea has raised the celebration of love by a few thousand notches by celebrating it on the 14th day of every month. These holidays, if you can keep track of them all, are celebrated with your special someone or with friends and family, with the exception of April. This day is known as Black Day. On Black Day, single people come together to celebrate their singleness. They

Aside from celebrating the Western Valentine’s Day, China has another celebration of love known as the Double Seventh Festival. This festival takes place on the seventh day of the seventh month under the Chinese lunar calendar, which means it changes every year on the Gregorian calendar. Traditions during this festival include testing women on their needle threading skills under the moonlight or their fruit carving skills. Traditionally,

O CH

this was how females would prove their some of their “skills” to potential husbands.

Like in Korea, there is also a holiday for single people to rejoice about being single. On November 11 (11.11) those who are single eat four sticks of fried donut (also known as yóutiáo) and a round steamed bun to represent the date 11.11. People also buy ridiculous amounts of stuff online — companies have marketed this as a day to treat yourself. It’s basically like Black Friday — or more accurately, Cyber Monday — but even scarier. U Note: this piece does not represent the full array of romantic practices in the countries mentioned.

By Levin C. Handy (per http://hdl.loc.gov/loc.pnp/cwpbh.04326) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

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TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 9, 2016

| sex | 15

The results of The Ubyssey’s annual every year super duper ultra-special student-focused mega-scientific* magical fantastical peachy keen 2016

SEX SURVEY

What’s your biggest concern during sex?

How often do you masturbate?

Where have you had sex on campus?

Botanical gardens In a tree near the MOA Ubyssey office Top of the clock tower Aquatic centre roof

How long had you known your last sexual partner?

Do you use dating apps?

Everywhere MOA parking lot Your mom’s house Wreck Beach Office 244 BuTo Frat house bathroom Suspension bridge Fuck you that’s personal

Does penis size matter?

Does butt size matter?

Thunderbird stadium 49.252070, -123.236624 CiTR newsroom UBC Security office Thunderbird parkade Arvind Gupta’s office Main Mall hammocks

Would you try an open relationship?

How often do you wish you were having sex?

Magic Forest near Totem

Parkade stairwell Stairs to Tower Beach Benches outside Irving Will McDonald And more, at ubyssey.ca! *This survey had 2,094 responses with an even split between male- and female-identifying people (49.7 per cent male, 48.3 per cent female). Two per cent of respondents identified as non-binary.

This survey is not meant to be a scientifically accurate representation of UBC’s diverse campus. The full list of responses can be found at ubyssey.ca.

16 | GAMES AND COMICs |

TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 9, 2016

COURTESY BESTCROSSWORDS.COM COURTESY BESTCROSSWORDS.COM

CROSSWORD PUZZLE ACROSS 1- Reindeer herder; 5- “Bird on ___” (Gibson film); 10- Sphere; 14- Dies ___; 15- Sired; 16- Arch type; 17- ___-a-brac; 18- Scottish seaport; 19- Tear; 20- Federal soldier in the

Civil War; 22- Middle way; 24- Moving about; 25- Soviet leader Brezhnev; 26- Silage storage tower; 28- Misplaces; 32- Fancy-schmancy; 35- Santa ___, California; 37- Look up to; 38- Biblical high priest; 39- Museum piece; 41- Heston’s org.; 42- Edmonton team; 45- Guggenheim display; 46- For fear that;| 47- ___ Dame;

Université d’Ottawa

48- Opera set in Egypt; 50- Ford flops; 54- Bahamanian island; 58- Hawking; 61- Key with no sharps or flats; 62- Let’s just leave ___ that; 63- Artist’s support; 65- Editor Wintour; 66- Cairo’s river; 67- Do penance; 68- Follow; 69- Spent, as batteries; 70- Bob and Elizabeth; 71- Suffix with exist;

University of Ottawa

FEB 2 ANSWERS

COURTESY KRAZYDAD.COM

DOWN 1- Tripoli’s country; 2- Tapestry; 3- Enamel; 4- Somewhat hungry; 5- Up to it; 6- Itty-bitty; 7- Uncle!; 8- Rate; 9- Patriot Allen; 10- Tedium; 11- Long in the tooth; 12- Director Riefenstahl; 13- Mother of Helen of Troy; 21- “___ tu” (Verdi aria); 23- Temperate;

25- Solitary; 27- Metallica drummer Ulrich; 29- Trigonometric function; 30- Miscalculates; 31- Chair; 32- Unskilled laborer; 33- Potpourri; 34- River sediment; 36- ___ carte; 37- Broadway opening; 40- Nest eggs, briefly; 43- Put up; 44- Make over; 46- Lip shaped; 49- Block up;

51- Slammin’ Sammy; 52- Muse of poetry; 53- Popular disinfectant; 55- Kofi of the U.N.; 56- Funnel-shaped; 57- Papal garment; 58- Discover; 59- Play to ___ (draw); 60- In ___ land; 61- Pub offerings; 64- Vane dir.;

La médecine, un choix d’avenir

Université d’Ottawa

|

University of Ottawa

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