February 12, 2014 by The Ubyssey

FEBRUARY 12, 2015 | VOLUME XCVI | ISSUE XL BIG ENOUGH TO PARTY SINCE 1918

MEDIEVAL PAPAL BULL Rare books and special collections acquired a papal bull issued by Pope Innocent IV.

FUN AND FRIVOLITIES A few fun ways to spend Valentine’s Day whether you’re single or not.

VALENTINE’S 5-ON-5 Single Thunderbirds talk sex positions, sports innuendo and the best dates on campus.

P11

THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 12, 2015 |

YOUR GUIDE TO UBC EVENTS, PEOPLE + CAMPUS

EVENTS SATURDAY

OUR CAMPUS

THIS WEEK, CHECK OUT ...

ONE ON ONE WITH THE PEOPLE AND BUILDINGS THAT MAKE UBC

VDAY MONOLOGUES AND PERFORMANCE

12:00 - 2:00 P.M. @ SUB BALLROOM

UBC’s annual VDAY features the production A Memory, A Monologue, A Rant & A Prayer and the much-acclaimed Vagina Monologues. Events occur all week, but Saturday hosts a double header of the two events. $10

FRIDAY

UBC COURTSIDE 2015

Sanderson has been announcing for UBC volleyball for the past three seasons.

6:00 - 9:30 P.M. @ WAR MEMORIAL GYM

The Calendar will try to bring in record numbers of fans to UBC Athletics events — this time, to basketball. Support the women’s team at 6:00 and the men’s at 8:00 p.m. and show your blue and gold pride. $4

SATURDAY

UNLUCKY IN LOVE

9:00 P.M. @ REPUBLIC (958 GRANVILLE)

The Calendar and Generocksity are teaming up for this Valentine’s-themed charity event. Featuring Manny Cogeta and Made in Arcade, all proceeds go to support UBC charity Tanzania Heart Babies. $10 in advance

ON THE COVER

Want to see your events listed here? Email your events listings to ourcampus@ubyssey.ca.

U THE UBYSSEY Coordinating Editor Will McDonald coordinating@ubyssey.ca

Design Editor Nick Adams printeditor@ubyssey.ca

Web Developer Peter Siemens web@ubyssey.ca

News Editors Jovana Vranic + Veronika Bondarenko news@ubyssey.ca

Culture Editor Jenica Montgomery culture@ubyssey.ca

Sports + Rec Editor Jack Hauen sports@ubyssey.ca

Video Producer Tim Hoggan video@ubyssey.ca

Photo Editor Cherihan Hassun photo@ubyssey.ca

Opinions + Blog Editor Austen Erhardt aerhardt@ubyssey.ca

Though the biggest draw of athletics events is almost always the competing athletes, no game is quite the same without an engaging announcer. For UBC volleyball, Sean Sanderson is the man who keeps tabs on every match and entertains the crowd with jokes and hilarious commentary. Sanderson has always been into sports, whether it be volleyball or hockey, and sports broadcasting was a natural complement to his athleticism.

If I could, my dream would be doing playby-plays for hockey … in the wintertime and then doing summers at the beach for volleyball.” Sean Sanderson UBC Volleyball annoucer

Sometimes less is more. - Cherihan Hassun

EDITORIAL

Sean Sanderson is T-Bird volleyball’s man behind the mic Serena Chao Contributor

STAFF

Copy Editor Ciaran Dougherty

Natalie Scadden, CJ Pentland, Kosta Prodanovic, Dave Nixon, copy@ubyssey.ca Soren Elsay, Olamide Olaniyan, Distribution Coordinator Lawrence Neal Garcia, Olivia Law, Tariq Vira, Kelley Lin, Jenny Lily Cai Tang, Leo Soh, Mateo Ospina, lcai@ubyssey.ca Koby Michaels, Jasmine Cheng, Miguel Santa Maria, Illustrator Natalie Morris, Mackenzie Julian Yu Walker, Sam Fruitman, Braedon julianyu@ubyssey.ca Atkinson Pauze, Jacob Gershkovich, Emma Partridge, Ben Cook

FEBRUARY 12, 2015 | VOLUME XCVI | ISSUE XL BUSINESS

CONTACT

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PHOTO AUSTEN ERHARDT/THE UBYSSEY

He studied broadcasting at the British Columbia Institute of Technology three years ago, and has continued announcing ever since. Apart from UBC volleyball games and a short stint with UBC soccer last year, he is also actively involved with beach volleyball tournaments around the region. Sanderson’s first broadcasting experience was,

fittingly, at a beach volleyball tournament in Kelowna, B.C. when his coach, Doug Reimer — who is also the current head coach of women’s volleyball — handed him the microphone and gave him the chance that started it all. “If I could, my dream would be doing play-by-plays for hockey in the wintertime and then do summers at the beach for volleyball. Any sort of work around sports is something I’d really like to do,” Sanderson said.

Volleyball needs one more fan. Football doesn’t, but volleyball does. It’s not the most popular sport in the world but if my jokes and enthusiasm bring them in, then that’s a good thing for volleyball.” Many people say that having a referral is the best way to land a job. In Sanderson’s case, this held true. A friend of his saw an urgent posting by the head of Athletics and after a week of emailing back and forth, his time at UBC began. Throughout his time here, he has become friends with the team members and coaches as he also participates in the teams’ practices.

Usually, men’s and women’s volleyball games are scheduled in a doubleheader format. Before each roughly two-hour game, Sanderson runs through the roster for both teams making sure that his pronunciation of the names are correct with emphasis on the visiting team. He makes a mental note of the nicknames or requests that individual players may have. There’s always the typical script that must be followed, but after opening remarks, his character and charisma shine through. Sanderson shares the happiness of the team’s victories and as a volleyball coach himself, he is knowledgeable of the members’ statistics and enjoys the sport as a whole. CIS (Canadian Interuniversity Sport) Volleyball — the league in which UBC competes — is the highest tier of volleyball in Canada. “Volleyball needs one more fan. Football doesn’t, but volleyball does,” said Sanderson. “It’s not the most popular sport in the world but if my jokes and enthusiasm bring them in, then that’s a good thing for volleyball.” Both volleyball teams have now finished their regular seasons and will be moving on to the Canada West Quarter-Finals in hopes of continuing their CIS Champion streak. But if you stop by one of their games in the fall, you will be guaranteed an exciting and entertaining game from both the players and the announcer. U

THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 12, 2015 |

EDITORS JOVANA VRANIC + VERONIKA BONDARENKO

AMS >>

A student group is collecting signatures to get a referendum question on the AMS elections ballot in March.

ILLUSTRATION JULIAN YU/THE UBYSSEY

Students launch referendum campaign on Israel divestment Veronika Bondarenko News Editor

This year’s AMS elections may see students voting on whether the society should divest from companies that support Israel’s actions in Palestine. UBC’s branch of Solidarity for Palestinian Human Rights (SPHR) is currently circulating a petition for a referendum question on whether the AMS should boycott and divest from companies that support Israel’s occupation of Gaza as part of the global BDS movement. BDS, which stands for boycott, divestment, sanctions, calls for an end to Israeli occupation in West Bank and Gaza and support for the rights of Palestinian refugees and Palestinians currently living in Israel. Similar policies at the student union level have recently been

passed at York University, Ryerson University and various branches of the University of California, among others. The referendum would call on the AMS to divest from companies such as Motorola and Sabra, who had previously been accused of providing support to the Israeli army. According to geography student and SPHR member Hussain Khan, the mission of the petition and the referendum is to take a stand against Israel’s treatment of Palestinians. If the referendum passes, the SPHR will continue the process of compiling a list of specific companies that they’d like the AMS to divest from. Khan also said that while this year’s campaign has been fuelled partly by the renewed military operations that took place in the Gaza strip over the summer and saw over 1,400 Palestinian civilians killed, the SPHR’s primary goal has

been to show solidarity with the Palestinian students on campus and put pressure on Israel through the voice of the students. “The community needs to stand together and say that ‘yes, this is wrong and you need to be held accountable for that,’” said Khan. In order to have the question make it onto this year’s referendum, the petition needs to reach 1,000 signatures from students who are currently enrolled at UBC. If the petition is successful, students will then vote on whether or not to support the referendum question in the March elections. The referendum would also need to meet quorum, which requires eight per cent of all eligible students to vote. Ciara-Maëlle Thibault from SPHR said that they are close to reaching the required number

of signatures and will continue campaigning during the elections period to encourage more students to vote in support of the referendum question. “I think students have every right to have their student government represent those interests and work towards not supporting certain companies that are involved in the occupation,” said Thibault. Eviatar Bach from the UBC Social Justice Centre (SJC) also said that their club members voted to endorse the petition. In 2010, SPHR provided a $700 donation to SJC in order to help fund a humanitarian aid flotilla to Gaza after $13,000 in legal fees were spent to figure out whether the AMS could allow the transfer. “SPHR and SJC had a good relationship for many years,” said Bach. “The question of Israel-Palestine is very much relevant, obviously because of social justice, but also because Canada is so complicit, so it’s very much a thing that is very immediate and that we can do something about.” However, fourth-year political science student Sam Heller, who is also a member of the Jewish Students Association, said that while he desires peace for both Palestinians and Israelis in the Middle East, he fears that widespread support for the BDS movement will spark a wave of anti-Semitism on university campuses and UBC in particular. “For most students, this may be just a petition that they’re asked to sign,” said Heller in an email interview. “For me and the other Jewish and Israeli students on campus, this is something which will have hurtful consequences for years to come, deeming us outsiders and not full members of the UBC family.” The elections are set to take place from March 9 to 13. U

SHOPPING >>

Rude sales staff boost in-the-moment sales at high-end stores: Sauder research

Joshua Azizi Senior Staff Writer

Can rude service actually increase sales of high-end luxury brands? That’s what research from the Sauder School of Business is suggesting. A new study called ‘Should the Devil Sell Prada?’ has shown that customers who get the cold shoulder at high-end luxury fashion stores can actually become more willing to purchase their products. In the study, participants had interactions with sales staff at both casual clothing stores such as American Eagle and at highend luxury stores such as Gucci or Burberry. When the staff of a luxury brand would react condescendingly towards a customer who looked at the brand’s products, this rejection

tended to increase the customer’s desire to buy it. “If you’re someone who wants to own that luxury thing but you’re not quite there, that’s when negative service can actually make you want it more,” said marketing professor Darren Dahl, who spearheaded the study. “The negative service is basically saying ‘you want to be in this club, but you’re not good enough,’ and that just makes you want it even more.” The study also found similar results with other mediums such as eco-friendly products: when customers perceived themselves as wanna-bes in owning eco-friendly products, rude service made them want to own the eco-friendly products even more.

“You’ll be willing to do things to get into these groups, and one of them is putting up with people being rude to you” says Dahl. “It’s kind of like the movie Mean Girls.” A rude attitude was found to be effective if the customer aspired to own the luxury brand but did not own it. It was found to be ineffective if the customer already owned the luxury brand, if the customer did not care about the luxury brand or if the brand was a casual mass-market brand. However, the desire to purchase the luxury product after rejection does not last very long. When asked how they felt about the luxury products two weeks after the interaction, the customers in the study

were generally uninterested in the product. “Only in the moment is that powerful,” said Dahl. “In the moment you react to it. ‘You say I’m not good enough? I’ll show you I’m good enough!’ And two weeks later you’re thinking ‘You know what? Those guys are real assholes, I’m not gonna show up in there anymore.’” From these results, Dahl suggests that although snobbiness can provoke a customer into making a quick sale, it will not increase overall sales if the staff is constantly condescending towards customers. “If your sales person wants to make a quick commission, this is a good thing to do, but it doesn’t help your store or brand in the long term,” said Dahl.” U

FOSSIL FUELS >>

Faculty members vote in favour of divestment from fossil fuels

FILE PHOTO CHERIHAN HASSUN/THE UBYSSEY

955 faculty members voted to divest.

Veronika Bondarenko News Editor

UBC faculty have voted in support of calling on the university to divest from fossil fuels in the next five years. The online referendum, which took place from January 26 to February 8, asked UBC faculty to vote on whether to support UBCC350’s Divest Campaign and encourage the university to divest from fossil fuels. A total of 955 faculty members voted in the referendum. On Tuesday, the results of the referendum were announced: 61.88 per cent of faculty members who voted support divestment. David Tindall, a environmental sociology professor at UBC, said that this vote will call on the UBC Board of Governors to make a decision regarding divestment in the next five years, as they had previously indicated they would. “One of the [deciding factors] was if the two core bodies of the university, such as students and faculty, were in support of such a move, but now it’s up to them to make a decision one way or another,” said Tindall. “Their hands are not tied, but this is a very strong symbolic message.” Tindall also said that, along with the student referendum in support of divestment that took place in the spring of 2014, the faculty vote will play an important role in UBC’s next steps in the upcoming months. “I think it’s a critical step for getting the university to divest and I think the university divesting is an important action in a variety of different ways, in terms of helping society make some changes, in terms of moving away from fossil fuels,” said Tindall. U

By Levin C. Handy (per http://hdl.loc.gov/loc.pnp/cwpbh.04326) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

“ The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.” › Thomas Edison: Relentless Inventiveness Failure is no biggie. Just ask Edison. If he stopped at failure, he would never have moved on to invent a little thing called the light bulb. So if you’ve failed a class somewhere else, or have a scheduling conflict, come on over. You can catch up with our world-recognized online courses, then move on to bigger successes. Talk about a light bulb moment.

open. online. everywhere. Learn more @ athabascau.ca/edison

THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 12, 2015 |

EDITOR JENICA MONTGOMERY

DORITOS >>

THEATRE >>

VDAY produces two feminist theatre performances Alumnus wins $50,000 for ad

The Vagina Monologues is a popular feminist monologue.

Koby Michaels

Staff Writer

Multiple orgasms on stage, five straight minutes of moaning and about a hundred names for a vagina; curious yet? UBC VDAY’s production of The Vagina Monologues and A Memory, A Monologue, A Rant & A Prayer have all this and more. The Vagina Monologues, originally written and performed by Eve Ensler in 1996, has evolved into a much larger project in recent years. The play, and Ensler, helped launched the VDAY movement. A Memory, A Monologue, A Rant & A Prayer has also played a large role in the VDAY movement. Today VDAY is a global activist movement aimed at promoting awareness for, and finding an end to, violence against women through creative events. Traditionally, VDAY is run

PHOTO NICKY FERNANDES/ FLICKR

through university and community performances that raise money for local relief groups. This year, UBC VDAY is sponsoring the Sexual Assault Support Centre at UBC, Women Against Violence Against Women and the Downtown Eastside Women’s Centre. The two plays pack a lot more than bedroom humour; they tackle complex and difficult issues from the gender spectrum to rape and female genital mutilation. “The whole purpose is to raise awareness about violence against women and theatre is a platform to use to raise awareness about these issues. It also adds entertainment value and people will come out for a show,” said recent UBC graduate and Vagina Monologues director, Giselle Miller.

UBC VDAY is alternating shows for the rest of the week before their double bill on Saturday. Both plays are a series of monologues from women and others, focusing on sexual violence, violence against women, LGBTQ and feminist issues. Monologues take a light-hearted approach and utilize humour to talk about these difficult issues. The occasional serious monologues are abrupt, hard hitting and emotional. A Memory, A Monologue, A Rant & A Prayer is heavier and has a wider variety of characters, including men and gender nonconforming persons. While the issues covered are very specific, the play is for everyone, said UBC VDAY co-director and treasurer Noni Nabors. “Anyone can benefit from these shows. It’s beneficial to have everyone.” “This [violence against women] is a really important issue. Though violence against women seems to be specific to women only, it is very much a global issue and it’s an issue that effects everyone. We encourage men to come out and be included in the conversation,” said Miller. The plays draw in a diverse crowd through their use of humour. Everyone was in stitches over the classifications of moans and the monologue about all the names for vaginas, which range from coochie scorcher to toadie, with dozens that are certainly not allowed in print. Feminism, and the ideas carried with it, are often relegated to academics and political debates — the VDAY performances strip all that away, allowing members of the audience to learn about the issues at hand in a fun and inclusive environment. Check out The Vagina Monologues and A Memory, A Monologue, A Rant & A Prayer for a fun and informative conversation about gendered issues. U </em>

LITERATURE >>

PHOTO COURTESY BRENDAN TAYLOR

While not the winning entry, “When Pigs Fly” aired during the Super Bowl on February 1.

Adam Waitzer

Contributor

Brendan Taylor’s commercial took second place in the Doritos Crash the Super Bowl ad competition and was broadcasted during the big game on February 1. Taylor’s entry, “When Pigs Fly,” was directed by two brothers from Maple Ridge and bested some 4,900 other submissions to win $50,000 and Super Bowl airtime. The team was unaware of their victory until the moment it aired, they keenly awaited each commercial break. “We were all on edge in the fourth quarter, as every time the screen would fade to black we

would anticipate seeing our ad play next. And then it finally came on … and the place exploded with cheers. Such an outpour of love and excitement,” said Taylor. While the first place submission was American, the team’s accomplishment stands as a triumph of homegrown, B.C. talent. “It was so surreal, to see it actually on our screen, shared with an estimated 114 million people,” said Taylor. Although Taylor only recently began to pursue an acting career, this achievement lends him valuable visibility. “I definitely feel some momentum with the win for my career and looking forward to a busy year,” said Taylor. U

Like movies? We do too. Join the force.

culture@ubyssey.ca

Rare books and special collections acquired a medieval papal document

The papal bull document has been restored and is now available for students in rare books and special collections.

Olivia Law

Senior Staff Writer The UBC Rare Books library and committee of professors from the English and history departments have just finished restoring their most recent acquisition. The papal bull document, a legal

decree issued in Latin by Pope Innocent IV to the Italian convent of San Michele in Trento, includes the signatures of the Pope and 13 other cardinals, all restored to a recognizable print. UBC early European history professor Richard Pollard was

PHOTO COURTESY DON ERHARDT

instrumental in the collection and purchase of the $15,000 document in the spring of 2014. “It’s a perfect example of a standard medieval document,” said Pollard on the papal bull. “There’s a sense that students think that all this history was handed down

through the heavens, and we don’t really have any understanding of where the story was learned.” The main reason for purchase of this document, which dates back to 1245, is to use it as a teaching tool. “The idea behind getting the document was so students could look and understand something about the sources of medieval history,” said Pollard, who brings his 300-level classes to the Rare Books Collection for a number of classes each semester. The importance of having the actual copy of the document, rather than simply a digitized version is eminent, Katherine Kalsbeek, acting head of Rare Books and Special Collections remarked upon the collection of such a rare document. “There’s something so impactful about seeing the Pope’s mark from that time and the cardinals who signed it; it’s quite amazing to see.” The document, when compared to other similar bulls from a similar period highlights the standardization of the processes involved in their inception. “People have a tendency to believe, particularly about the Middle Ages, that people were stupid, but the document is so carefully put together, both from a technical point of view, but also from an organizational point of view, a linguistic point of view,” said Pollard.

Each sentence in the document ends with a rhythmic pulse, making the flow of each line feel uniform and sophisticated. The levels of literacy, the evidence of business transactions and the ability we have to touch, smell and look closely at the document underlines the importance of having the document here on campus. When examining the papal bull closely, one can see where corrections have been made on the pages by the way the light shines on the ink, one can read the actual words printed on the parchment, and one can even smell the manuscripts, giving hints as to what animal the document came from, which gives indications to geographical details of its conception. Although the document has been digitized and is available online, both Pollard and Kalsbeek are in agreement on the impact of the physical manuscript. “I want students to know that this is their resource,” said Kalsbeek, encouraging students to view the document, whether involved in a medieval studies, English, history or not. “Going to see it actually makes it relevant,” said Pollard. “I think that students really respond well to having an actual piece of the past in a way that has a greater psychological impact than the ephemeral nature of digital objects.” U

THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 12, 2015

| SEX | 5

SEX Sexual Health Centres

Boulevard Youth Clinic Pacific Spirit Community Health Centre 2110 West 43rd Avenue Cost: Free Drop-ins: Yes Services: STI testing, birth control options, pregnancy testing, pap tests, youth counseling, drug and alcohol issues, family issues, other health issues. *only for youths 24 and under

2211 Wesbrook Mall Room M334, Koerner Pavilion

Mon: 8:30 a.m. - 4:30 p.m. Tues: 8:30 a.m. - 4:30 p.m. Wed: 8:30 a.m. - 4:30 p.m. Thurs: 8:30 a.m. - 4:30 p.m. Fri: 8:30 a.m. - 4:30 p.m. Sat/Sun: Closed

Cost: Most services are covered by insurance, though you should verify this before visiting. Services: Offers a wide range of health services, including sexual health.

Cost: Most services are covered by MSP, though this should be verified before visiting. Drop-ins: Not guaranteed. Call 604-707-5600 for appointments, which are recommended. Services: STI testing, counselling, hepatitis vaccinations and more.

Mon: 8:00 a.m. – 4:00 p.m. Tues: 8:00 a.m. – 4:00 p.m. Wed: 8:00 a.m. – 8:00 p.m. (only during school year) Thurs: 8:50 a.m. – 4:00 p.m. Fri: 8:00 a.m. – 4:00 p.m. Sat/Sun/holidays: closed

Mon: 8:30 a.m. - 7:30 p.m. Tues: 8:30 a.m. - 4:00 p.m. Wed: 8:30 a.m. - 4:00 p.m. Thurs: 9:30 a.m. - 4:00 p.m. Fri: 8:30 a.m. - 7:30 p.m. Sat: 9:30 a.m. - 1:00 p.m. U

Opt Vancouver B.C. Women’s Hospital, Shaughnessy Building, Level 2

Student Health Service and UBC Hospital

Vancouver STI Centre, B.C. Centre for Disease Control 655 West 12th Avenue

student.health@ubc.ca 604-822-7011

4500 Oak Street optclinic@cw.bc.ca 604-731-4252

W 4th Ave Broadway

UBC Wellness Centre IKB 183, UBC Cost: Free, except you have to pay for products. Drop-in: Yes Services: Student volunteers offering information and assistance on student health and wellness, as well as workshops and safer sex products at cost.

Mon: 10:00 a.m. - 5:00 p.m. Tues: 10:00 a.m. - 4:00 p.m. Wed: 10:00 a.m. - 5:00 p.m. Thurs: 10:00 a.m. - 5:00 p.m. Fri: 10:00 a.m. - 5:00 p.m. Sat/Sun/Holidays: Closed

W 41st Ave

Cambie St

Dunbar St

W King Edward Ave

Oak St

Mon: 6:15 p.m. - 9:30 p.m. Tues: 6:15 p.m. - 9:30 p.m. Wed: 6:15 p.m. - 9:30 p.m. Thurs - Sun: Closed

W 16th Ave

Granville St

UBC

Arbutus St

W 10th Ave Alma St

Drop-ins: No, call to make an appointment. Cost: Covered by MSP. Visitors without Canadian medical insurance will likely have to pay for services. Services: HPV vaccinations, testing, and counselling services for all matters of reproductive health.

6 | SEX |

THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 12, 2015

ONLINE DATING >>

EYE CANDY >>

Finding the best mobile dating app for students

UBC’s 20 hottest profs, according to ratemyprofessors.com

Tinder Mateo Ospina Senior Staff Writer

Mikayla Uber Contributor

4/5

Tinder taught me humility. It’s easily accessible and by far the most popular app among university students. Bios range from inspirational quotes to Snapchat and Instagram usernames. The process entails a simple method of swiping right for interest and left for pass. The occasion of a mutual match is celebrated by granting both users access to communicate through messages with each other. It’s this same simplicity that leads to it’s biggest flaw: Tinder is really easy to get lost in. After an arbitrary number of swipes, the people you are evaluating become less like people that you would talk to and more like objects that can be quickly and efficiently categorized with the flick of a finger. But I guess that’s the point, selling myself in six photos and a single line bio to find the right match. U

OKCupid

Mikayla Uber Contributor

Tammy Hsieh Contributor

3.5/5

OkCupid gives users a clearer idea of who their match is, and breaks down the intimidation of talking to a stranger. There are also details one can edit and questions to answer. With those questions, OkCupid matches one’s answers and the importance of the answers to others and show the percentage of “Friend” or “Enemy.” In the profile, a user explicitly shows what they are looking for: new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating or casual sex. The app of OkCupid is pretty easy to use, but the website provides more functions like searching a user and uploading more photos. It also shows the using habit in one’s profile, either replying frequently or selectively. OkCupid provides more specific location of a user as well. However, because OkCupid users are only half of POF users and less active than POF, I have far less interaction with OkCupid users. U

4.5/5

Tinder takes the complex world of online dating and reduces it to two simple words: swipe right. All you have to do to create a profile is compose a witty sentence or two for your bio. Obviously this is great for lazy personalities such as myself. Within mere minutes you are ready to be matched with suitors near you. The app understands our need for immediate gratification, as all you have to do to be matched with someone is swipe right. It also eliminates that awkward rejection factor common on other dating apps. The only way you can actually talk to someone is if a mutual interest is first expressed by both of you swiping right. No longer will you receive messages from unsolicited creeps. (Only solicited ones.) Tinder turns online dating into a low-pressure game, and less of a serious science. It answers the hard questions (do you think I’m hot? do you want to sleep with me?) with a simple swipe. U

20. Maria Weatherby, Social Science — 3.5. “Maria really incorporates her real life experiences into the concepts that she teaches.” 19. Michael Vaney, Economics — 3.6. “GO TO HIS CLASS … INTENSE!” 18. Celeste Leander, Biology — 3.8. “Sooo fun to go to class. Bio was my fave course last term.” 17. Gerald Baier, Political Science — 4.0. “Baier’s lectures were entertaining, he’s very passionate.”

15. Laura Hanson, Psychology — 4.1. “Dr. Hanson is a very engaging lecturer and uses a lot of video clips.” 14. Allen Sens, Political Science — 4.1. “He is passionate about the topics but also about his students.” 13. Jennifer Shabbits, Science — 4.1. “i’m in arts, and i did not take any science courses, but i did not miss any of her bio200 classes on tuesday thursday.MAN, so h0t! [sic]” 12. Christopher Erickson, Political Science — 4.2. “Erickson is really nice to look at.” 11. Silvia Bartolic, Family Studies — 4.2. “Dry as bones.” 10. Gaston Gordillo, Anthropology — 4.2. “So smart, so hot, great hair, great accent, just great.” 9. Majid Alimohammadi, Anatomy — 4.3. “You most definitely will NOT fall asleep.”

Plenty of Fish Tammy Hsieh Contributor

PHOTO ILLUSTRATIONS JOVANA VRANIC/THE UBYSSEY

There are far too many profs at this school with a flaming chili pepper, so in order to rank them, we had to break it down by overall rating. The following 20 profs all have flaming peppers and more than 50 ratings on the site, and are ranked by overall score. The quotes are taken from their ratings page.

16. Patricia Mallie, Accounting — 4.0. “Patricia went waaaayyy too fast … it was impossible to grasp anything.”

3.5/5

The beautiful science of the popular OkCupid dating app is that you can make an informed hypothesis about someone’s personality even before a single message is exchanged. From their profile, you can see the six things they can’t live without, how they typically spend Friday nights and most importantly, whether they prefer cats or dogs. From their answers to a series of match questions, not only can you tell how compatible the two of you are, but also discover their opinion on open relationships and scary movies. The features on this app can be a bit overwhelming in the beginning, as not only do you get a notification every time someone views your profile, but there’s also a Tinder-like tool called Quickmatch, which allows you to swipe right for users you like. Connections are easy to build on this site, as users all seem to be on the quest for a date. Why else would they go to the trouble of filling out the lengthy profile and answering match questions? U

We had Mateo, Mikayla and Tammy try out Tinder, OKCupid and Plenty of Fish for five days and let us know what they thought of each one.

ILLUSTRATION JERRY YIN/THE UBYSSEY

Jack Hauen Sports Editor

4/5

The setting of POF is not fancy but practical, allowing users to upload multiple photos with straightforward layout. The profile includes descriptions of appearance, interest, personal background, ideal first date and the kind of relationship they are looking for. The app version is much more user-friendly than the web version. POF users (at least males) are very active and reach out to people frequently. I received 16 messages in the first two hours after I signed up. Most of the messages are polite and only few of them are vulgar. One advantage (or disadvantage) of POF is a user can search other people by their user names. (You can do that in the app but not the website.) There is also a calling function which I never dare to use. In general, POF is a good place to go if you are eager to meet new people. U

Mateo Ospina Senior Staff Writer

1/5

I have never heard of a university-age student using Plenty of Fish. I give it a point for being PC accessible and removing the hassle of having to use the phone, but with so few people to chat to, I didn’t get much use out of that feature. The web layout is ugly and after five days I still have not figured out the functions of all the tabs and multi-coloured badges. I was bothered by the amount of effort that it required just in the setup. It takes too much inspiration for me to create a minimum 200-character biography. I have no clue what kind of tagline can really describe me. The profile arrangement really follows no logical order. I was frustrated with racial categorization that only included ‘Hispanic’ rather than the more common ‘Hispanic/Latino’ tag that econmpasses a wider range of identities. U

8. Sunaina Assanand, Psychology — 4.3. “The definition of beauty, inside and out.” 7. Michael Souza, Psychology — 4.4. “Makes time to connect one on one.” 6. Paul Carter, Computer Science — 4.4. “Stay on top or else you’re doomed.” 5. Javed Iqbal, Physics — 4.5. “Would marry him if I could.” 4. Clive Chapple, Economics — 4.5. “Very engaging, but makes you work for it.” 3. Geoffrey Winthrop-Young, Language — 4.5. “Just to take it all in may be one of the best things in UBC.” 2. Fok-Shuen Leung, Mathematics — 4.8. “Definitely do-able if you work hard!” 1. Jackie Stuart, Chemistry — 4.8. “Hot.” U

THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 12, 2015

FRIENDS >>

FOREPLAY >>

Transitioning from friends to friends with benefits

Dirty talk for nice guys

Dirty talk can be uncomfortable if you’re not used to it.

Gabriel Germaix

Senior Staff Writer PHOTO CHERIHAN HASSUN/THE UBYSSEY

Becoming friends with benefits can be risky, but there are ways to mitigate the awkward bumps along the way.

Ciaran Dougherty

Copy Editor

To start off, it is important to remember that every friendship is different, as is every person, so the same advice will not apply to everyone. However, I have to write an article about it, so I will try to give some tips that work almost universally. 1. This should be a given, but so many people are spectacularly bad at it: always look your personal best when you see the person. This is probably just good advice in general, especially when you like someone, including your friend that you want to sleep with. If it only costs an

extra five minutes to pick clothes that match and to make your hair look good then it’s probably worth it. If your friend sees that you are always looking good they are more likely to want to sleep with you. It sounds primitive, but attraction is a primitive instinct, and you should use it to your advantage. 2. If you have the sort of friendship where you talk about sex, then talk about it. Most people our age like to talk about it, that’s why we print this supplement, so discuss your preferences with each other. If you find that you match in some regards your friend is likely to notice too, and they will then start thinking

about sleeping with you (if they haven’t already). 3. Be prepared for them to say no. Not everyone will be into you, and not everyone likes, or feels comfortable having casual sex. 4. Don’t try and force it. Before you make a move, make sure they want it. Ask them, read their body language or their subtext, whatever it takes to know they want you. Getting it wrong is a good way to harm a friendship and you should always have consent. “Friends with benefits” is a tricky concept and doesn’t always work out, but sometimes it can be exactly what you and your friend need. U

SEX >>

Keeping your friends with benefits Jovana Vranic

News Editor

University is a busy time, so naturally, trying to keep up serious relationships can be hard. If you’re too busy for love, finding a friend with benefits can be a good alternative. No-strings-attached relationships don’t work for everyone, but there are some sure fire ways to see if they’re right for you. If you can separate physical and emotional attraction, and are of the belief that sex doesn’t equate to love, then it’s safe to say you’re ready to find yourself a friend with benefits. Keep in mind, they’re friends first, and the benefits come second. If you want to keep up a healthy relationship, you need to make sure that the person you’re sleeping with is someone around

| SEX | 7

whom you feel comfortable, safe and never pressured. If you’re intending to sleep with a friend, make sure it’s one who is always willing to talk things through and be patient. It’s always a good idea to keep a sort of verbal contract with your friend with benefits. Lay down some rules and be sure you’re well versed in what they will and will not do in bed. And remember, even though you may know each other well, things can always change — consent is key, so always be sure to check in and revisit that contract. Sometimes amendments need to be made, and that’s okay. If you want to try out something new in bed, a friend with benefits may or may not be the right person to do it with. Talk to your friend, and if they’re not on

board, be sure not to try to pressure or coerce them. Don’t let bedroom affairs come between you — friendship and security come first! Another thing you want to keep in mind is how private you and your friend will be keeping your relationship. The best course of action is probably to tell a friend or two, just so you have someone to chat with if and when the going gets rough, but even that has to be a mutual agreement. Sex is a touchy topic — no pun intended — and your friend may want to keep their sex life behind closed doors. Friendship and sexuality should hold equal weight in a friends-with-benefits relationship, so be prepared to come to mutual agreements on every aspect. U

It all started just fine. You are back at your place and things take a more interesting turn. She is enjoying it and so are you. Little do you know there is a storm coming. It strikes like lightning, fast and sharp, in a scream: “Talk dirty to me in German!” You freeze. She knows you have heard it, and now she is waiting for something to happen. An icy chill runs down your spine, your body temperature drops: she is not joking. And suddenly you realize several things. First, you two should have taken a bit more time to know each other. You don’t even speak German. Is she confusing you with that Bavarian friend who loudly introduced himself earlier at the party? Boy, that is awkward. Second, you know you are terrible at this. You are a legitimate nice guy. You tried dirty talk once, with your last partner, but they just laughed it off and you resumed your sweet, gentle and considerate love-making — because that is just who

PHOTO CHERIHAN HASSUN/THE UBYSSEY

you are deep down, a big fluffy teddy bear. More importantly, you have to answer the imperious request, and fast. But how does a nice guy or a nice girl start talking dirty? Dirty talk will certainly trash most codes of conduct that people observe in society, that is, unless a couple engages in “politically correct dirty talk,” which would be either hilarious or extremely boring, depending on whether the participants are serious or not. A nice guy or nice girl will want to fall back on the classics. Adding “naughty” or “filthy” should work more often than not, while talking about punishment, bonding and crawling on the floor will turn on those who are into the kinkier activities. Reference to the fauna of our beautiful world can also be surprisingly effective. Using the fierce strength of savannah predators should have more impact than referring to the marine world — no one wants to hear the word “trout” in bed, trust me. Finally, no matter what instincts kick in, don’t apologize after sex. You were ridiculous anyway, but hopefully, you will be the only two who know it. U

PHOTO CHERIHAN HASSUN/THE UBYSSEY

Keeping an open relationship can be hard, but trust and communication are key.

8 | SEX |

THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 12, 2015

Words by Veronika Bondarenko

What to do on

Valentine’s Day

if you’re...

ALONE

NOT ALONE PHOTOS CHERIHAN HASSUN/THE UBYSSEY

So you’re alone on Valentine’s Day! That’s totally cool. Although seeing Facebook posts of ‘oh-look-at-thesechocolates-I-just-received’ can become tiresome regardless of whether you actually want a relationship, not having a significant other on the day of love doesn’t mean that you should miss out on doing something fun and frivolous this weekend. Here are a few suggestions for things to do with friends, family or just yourself.

Cook A Nice Meal

People who lead busy lives and share living spaces (i.e. the vast majority of students) will often find that cooking an elaborate meal to be more effort than it’s worth. If you’ve found yourself eating out of a can more often than not, this may be the time to whip up a fancy-yet-simple fettuccine alfredo just for yourself. Because you’re worth it.

Treat Yourself

Material satisfactions will not solve all of your problems, but the

small treat — whether it be a cupcake, new book or small pick-me-up from Sephora — can definitely go a long way towards brightening your mood.

Get Together, Get Outside

While simply spending time with people you care about and choose to have in your life is a good way to celebrate any weekend, sometimes you need an overly mushy-gushy, commercialized holiday to remind you to actually do it. If the weather is good, go for a walk or a hike. If the weather is bad, get together in the evening and play board games.

Have Some Heart-Shaped Candy, Watch A Movie Or Just Do Your Damn Homework Yes, really. In the end, the only difference between February 14 and any other day on the calendar is that this is the day when people decide to make public (and often cheesy!) declarations of love and eat lots of heartshaped candy. How you choose to engage (or not to engage!) with this is up to you.

So you are not alone on Valentine’s Day! You, too, will likely come across about a thousand-and-one articles that tell you all about the things that you should do or buy or eat with your sweetheart. That’s cool if you are into that sort of thing, but these types of articles usually end up falling back on the tired old dinner-and-amovie routine. Here are a few unconventional dates ideas for you to try out this weekend.

Test Out Mattresses In A Furniture Store

It might be fun to see how soft each of the mattresses in the store really is by jumping on them with a date. Bring along a glass of wine and see if those commercials were lying. Whether you choose to keep what happens after PG or not is entirely up to you. (That said, you’ll probably have to face the consequences of getting kicked out of the store if you opt for the latter.)

Skype

Just because your significant other lives in a different city doesn’t mean that you should miss out on spending

some time together. There are so many activities that you can do together over Skype and have almost as much fun — simultaneous movie watching, karaoke or cooking, just to name a few.

See A Play

This could just be the theatre buff inside me begging for release, but what could be more fun and romantic than a night spent in front of the stage? No matter what area of Vancouver you call home, there is a good chance that there will be some performance happening near you. Look online for cheap ticket deals.

Maturity Not Required

Let’s not kid ourselves here: most people have never truly outgrown childish activities like hide-andseek, going down the slide headfirst or rewatching all of your favourite childhood cartoons. Lucky enough to find someone who wants to do all that fun stuff with you? That’s how you know they’re a keeper. U

(and some bonus restaurant ideas) La Belle Patate $

A little piece of Quebec on the wrong side of the Rockies, La Belle Patate has poutine. Their fries are double baked and their 26 varieties (Like Montreal smoked meat) will bring you to your knees. Try: Montreal smoked meat poutine.

Mean Poutine $

It’s friendlier than it sounds. With a slogan of “Get drunk eat poutine,” this place is sure to satisfy at least a few of your cravings (crispy Buffalo chicken in poutine? You got it). Try: Buffalo chicken poutine.

Belgian Fries $

The pride of Commercial Drive. This place has any poutine combination you could ask for (Butter chicken being one of the slightly more adventurous ones), and portion sizes out of control. Order the large size if you’re feeding a family of four. Try: Butter chicken poutine.

Fritz European Fry House $

This place keeps it simple. Order your size of fries, then choose your toppings seperately on a menu that can only be described as Spartan (well, aside from delicious). Try: Bacon bits poutine.

Smoke’s Poutinerie $

This chain isn’t the fanciest of poutineries, but it’s still one of the best. Their bacon cheesburger poutine is no joke. Try: Bacon cheeseburger poutine.

Fries With Benefits $

Unlike many places that rely on a pun for their restaurant name, Fries With Benefits can deliver on their promise of excellent poutine. For a reasonable price, it’s worth checking out. Try: Pad Thai fries.

Sliders $$

This place mainly sells (you guessed it) sliders, but they do a pretty swell poutine on the side. Try: Regular ol’ poutine.

The Keefer Bar $$$

A Chinatown apothecary-themed eatery with exotic medical ingredients mixed into their craft cocktails and appetizers sounds super weird. But it’s awesome. Trust us. Also, there’s burlesque once a week. Try: The Bloody Ming (Finlandia vodka, guava, lemon, Worcestershire, Tabasco, salt & pepper).

Burdock and Co. $$$

A Main Street eatery with a vibe that walks the line between comfortable and pretentious with ease. Their tapas-style serving sizes are small but packed with flavour. Order a bunch of stuff that sounds good, because it almost definitely will be. Try: B.F.C. (Spicy Burdock fried chicken with house-made kimchi).

Les Faux Bourgeois $$

French food that’ll melt your face off and melt in your mouth. Less expensive than its mood-lit interior and affinity for the Francophone

language would suggest, Les Faux is a perfect date spot for when you need to come off fancy (and drown your innards in butter and salt while you’re at it). Try: Canard Confit (Confit duck on a warm salad of Sarladaise potatoes, goat cheese, arugula and port jus).

Tavola $$$

An Italian eatery that makes great food comfortable. While it’s not flashy, its food is awesome. You’ll be stuffing your mouth, but remember to actually talk to your date. Try: Gnocchi (with brown sage butter and pine nuts).

Wildebeest $$$

This is where the meat-lovers take their romantic lovers. Wildebeest has an interesting take on the meat house, offering unique plates such as bone marrow and smoked octopus. Don’t be scared off if you’re not the carnivorous type, though, there are dishes for those without a craving for meat. Try: Fresh oysters. U

THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 12, 2015

| SEX | 9

EXPLORE YOUR SENSUALITY Sex isn’t just about the physical act. It’s about comfort, trust, occasionally love and sensuality. People don’t often discuss the sensuality of sex, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t a connection between the two. Understanding your sensuality may lead to a better understanding of your body, and better sex. Since this whole supplement is on sex, here are some ways that you can explore your sensuality.

by Jenica Montgomery

Attend a Burlesque show Burlesque is a sensual side to sex and performance that’s not often seen, in fact it’s often ignored. Did you know that Vancouver’s Rio Theatre has many different burlesque performances throughout the year? Burlesque show themes range from nerdy to sensual and everything in between. And no, you don’t have to participate. Here are some upcoming shows to look forward to. Valentines Day Burlesque Duos @ The Rio Theatre February 14, 9 p.m. Suicide Girls BlackHeart Burlesque @ The Rickshaw April 7

Take a pole dancing class This one does require a little participation. Not only is pole dancing a great workout, but it is also a great way to explore what your body is capable of in a safe and fun environment.

Taste test different aphrodisiacs Trying a bunch of different, supposed, aphrodisiacs is a great date idea and also a great way to figure out what you like and what you want (at least from your food). Food options include oysters, chili peppers, chocolate, bananas, cherries and more.

Go to a sex shop Sex shops are a great way to learn about things that intrigue and excite you. Perhaps the idea of being blindfolded turns you on, and a vibrating dildo does not. You’ll never know until you’re faced with the option. Whether you actually do any of these things, spend some time learning about your body and figuring out your likes and dislikes. U

PHOTO MACKENZIE WALKER/THE UBYSSEY

10 | SEX |

THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 12, 2015

VIRGINITY >>

Andrew Lai on the very vivacious advantages of virginity Andrew Lai Contributor

Virginity gets a bit of a bad rap these days, but there are many reasons that it’s better to maintain your chastity in today’s world. Here are a few of them: It’s a great icebreaker when meeting new people. When initiating conversations with new people, it is difficult to steer the course of the conversation to one that is meaningful and engaging. Being a virgin allows you bring the topic up to the new person, and upon learning you are one they will gain a positive impression of you. A typical conversation may go like this: You: So what’s up? Them: Nothing much, what about you? You: Same, ummmmmmm... You notice at this point when you would normally be struck with a sense of awkwardness out of not thinking of other topics, play your virginity trump card. You: Did you know I’m a virgin? Them: WOW! I instantly have a great im-

pression about you, I know that you are honest, resilient, humble and you do not give into your primal desires. I want to be your friend. This is just one of many scenarios in which a conversation can swing into your favour, whilst only being possible if you are a virgin. Employment opportunities in the olive oil industry A great trade secret in the production of virgin olive oil involves the blessings of those in our societies who have achieved the highest levels of virginity. Olive oil has a high amount of unsaturated fats, a fat that has been scientifically proven to be sort of good for you. The procurers of such olive oil must make sure that they themselves have not been saturated with other vices and human body parts. Saving the first time for somebody special With virginity being such a prized possession belonging to every one of us initially, it is a shame to give it up prematurely when one isn’t ready. To ensure the good interests that a partner would have, one should wait till such a partner is part of one’s family before engaging in sexual activity. Rejection of hookup culture Many people, especially college

students, are obsessed with the culture of hooking up. These individuals often spend great lengths of their day trying to perfect their hanging techniques, and researching on better clothes hangers to use. Without engaging in such activities, a virgin would have much more time to pursue on more meaningful and enjoyable task such as brushing teeth or painting toenails. Reduced infection rate of ‘babies’ Rabies causes much suffering and death among humans. A much more prevalent disease: ‘babies’, is a direct result of engaging in sexual activity. Symptoms may include nausea, abdominal swelling, vomiting and fatigue, among many other ailments that may inhibit one’s ability to continue the lives they were accustomed to. Saving money on condominiums In order to have safe sex, people require condominiums to reduce the risks associated. Given that housing prices have risen at a rate faster than incomes, many people may find themselves unable to afford or spending too high of a proportion of their income on condominiums. When one is a virgin without the need to have sex, a great amount of money can be saved by avoiding this necessity. U

PHOTO ILLUSTRATION CHERIHAN HASSUN/THE UBYSSEY

Virginity qualifies you for many executive positions in the olive oil industry.

THE UBYSSEY SCORED FREE TICKETS TO A PREVIEW OF

HOT TUB TIME MACHINE 2!

AN EVENING OF INTRIGUE AND ILLUSION

TELUS

STUDIO THEATRE CHAN CENTRE AT UBC

$15 Student Tickets

COPILOT DESIGN

chancentre.com/students