March 8, 2012 | VOL. XCIII ISS. XLV
Have you been fed and watered SINCE 1918
STRIKE APPROVED COPE 378 votes to allow 72-hour strike notice to be issued
Our Q&A with Arts Last Lecturer George Stroumboulopoulos
SCHOLARSHIPS FOR SWIMMERS?
Toope presents a new vision for athletics
SCOUNDRELS Vanier musical opens Thursday
UPPER Totemâ€™s new building repairs pile up
2 | Page 2 | 03.08.2012
What’s on 8 THU DANCE-OFF >>
This week, may we suggest...
One on one with the people who make UBC
Psi U Think You Can Dance?: 6:30–10pm @ SUB Ballroom
Interested in watching students across campus shake their “groove thang” or robot the night away? Check out Psi U’s first school-wide dance competition. Special guests include a performance by the UBC Thunderbird Dance Team as well as Adrian Chih—enticing, eh? Tickets available at the Outpost for $6 or at the door for $7.
The Science of Everything: 6:30–8pm @ Hennings 201 Looking for something to do this Friday? Why not fire up your neurons and listen as professors Colin Gay and Douglas Scott describe how modern science answers questions such as where did the universe come from, and more!
UBC Rec’s Triathlon-Duathlon As race season heats up in BC, make sure to sign up for the 30th annual TRI-DU competition. With a variety of events and distances, there is no reason to be slothful this Sunday. Registration ends March 8. More information and sign-up at www.rec.ubc.ca.
Veteran journalist goes back to basics Harriet Ho Contributor
Birding Bonanza @ Beatty Biodiversity Museum Beatty opens a new exhibit about the lives of birds. View local bird specimens in various behind-the-scenes collections. Special programming includes hands-on activities with real bird specimens, birding activities and lessons, museum tours, puppet shows, scavenger hunts, crafts and more.
CHARITY >> UBC Cuts For Cancer: 10am– 4pm @ On the Fringe in the SUB In need of some personal grooming? Help support cancer patients while getting your hair cut on Monday. Discounted cuts will be offered by On the Fringe Hair Design and all hair longer than 8 inches is eligible for donation to make wigs for cancer patients.
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THE UBYSSEY March 8, 2012, Volume XCIII, Issue XLV
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Sam Eifling has made his way out of the newsroom and into the classroom.
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After some impressive writing for media organizations like The New York Times , Harper’s and ESPN, one would wonder how someone like Sam Eifling would be back in the shoes of a student. “There would always be pretty good places, like working at The Miami Herald and The Chicago Tribune, but I was still feeling like I wanted to move around and go different places,” he said. After a ski trip to Whistler in 2010, Eifling was drawn by his love for Vancouver and felt compelled to move here. He applied and was accepted to the UBC School of Journalism, and packed up his car that summer for a month-long trip across the US to reach the Lower Mainland. Throughout his career so far, he has ventured from south Florida, which he humourously compared to “a sink-strainer that catches all the soggy food at the end of the night,” to the back country of America while reporting on hunting and fishing for ESPN Outdoors. He has even worked in New York three times, the dream destination for numerous aspiring journalists, but he has never felt the desire to settle there permanently. “When I walk around New York, I feel like a dog with its head out the window of a moving car. Everything is a sensory overload and it’s great,” he said. “But people I know in New York work in a desk all day long, every day, and they don’t leave the city very often. Man, sitting in a desk all day when you’re in your 20s and 30s is scary. “New York is a great place to be young, and in some ways, it’s a really hard place to be old if you want to start a family, if you want to buy property. But if you just want to be young and you want to do it on the cheap, it’s an awesome place to be. But it’s also a place in this business where people’s imaginations get stuck, and I didn’t want my imagination to get stuck in New York.”
However, returning to university has opened up many new doors to thought and exploration for Eifling, who has taken full advantage of UBC’s international reporting program. “We’re going to Brazil for almost two weeks to do stories about the violence that occurs when developers encroach on rural lands and indigenous people. There are a lot of murders in Brazil. Those sorts of projects would have been impossible from where I was,” he said. “For me, it’s been a way to expand what I can do. The video, documentary, digital elements that were nowhere to be found in my undergraduate education, and which I think are crucial skills now if you’re going to work on a multimedia platform. The fact that last summer I interned in the video section of The New York Times would have been impossible when I was an undergrad.” With his years of experience on the field, returning to school proved to be both challenging and eye-opening for Eifling. “One thing you give up when you go back to school is a professional identity,” he said. This proved to be a barrier to engaging in the conversation of major world events from the position of a student. “It’s been difficult watching people covering big events. 2011 was an amazing news year, and [I was] realizing that I was in a place from which I couldn’t cover a lot of news,” he said. “In some ways, I couldn’t participate in that big conversation. For me, it’s been an exercise in patience, and trying to engage where I can and look around Vancouver and pitch to the US.” But he’s also aware that the distance has allowed him to become a more creative journalist. “There’s an inherent disruption at the workplace in personal development. If you’re the kind of person who outgrows jobs and looks for new things to do, that can be disruptive because the organization has an idea of what it needs
you to do. Even in an open-minded organization, you can’t just do what you want. In school, you can.” As an American, he has been exposed to many new provoking issues that are unique to Vancouver. “I’ve been able to explore many topics rather than focused topics. I can come to school and get into harm reduction strategies, prostitution, poverty, people getting murdered in the Amazon, and sustainability issues, all of which Vancouver really facilitates as a city and as an environment. I’ve explored topics that I wouldn’t have been able to, working at a paper in Arkansas. “It’s amazing to me as an American, how big this country is, and how blind America is to the issues here, the people here, the history here, the politics here. It’s just not part of the conversation in the US. In a strange way, I’ve been a foreign correspondent. Being here and seeing the gaps in the knowledge gives me the opportunity as someone who knows what those gaps are, to fill them in with what seems like basic knowledge here. I hope I can keep doing that; there’s a lot that can be written about Canada for Americans that will seem new and interesting and yet should be part of everyone’s basic information diet.” Anticipating graduation in May this year, Eifling hopes to see where life will lead him to his next pursuit. “As things change, you go places you don’t anticipate,” he said. Whatever road he chooses to follow, his passion for journalism will always carry him forward. “I try to find something that’s interesting that I don’t know anything about and write about it with an eye towards that curiosity and write it for someone who would want to read it, and trust that it would be informative, entertaining and hopefully soulful in the end. You get really close to people, inhabit their world and describe it to other people.” U
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Totem Park’s hot water problems are resolved, “for the most part” Colin Chia Staff Writer
Problems with the hot water system in the two new infill buildings in Totem Park have been resolved “for the most part,” according to Student Housing and Hospitality Services managing director Andrew Parr. After nearly four months of hot water problems, UBC shelled out approximately $130,000 to compensate affected students. While UBC has done some maintenance work—replacing equipment and
upgrading the hot water system over the Christmas break—there are still periods where residents only have cold water. Parr said there have still been “a couple” of outages lasting up to ten hours. “There are occasions where the system does trip out for a period of time, so we’re working through why that is,” he said. However, Parr is confident that it will not be an issue for the next batch of residents. “When we reopen for next September, we’ll have
dealt with that in a comprehensive way,” he said. “It’s impossible to make a guarantee or commitment but the information that we’ve been given is that we should be confident that the availability of hot water will not be an issue going forward.” UBC won’t be charged for fixing the warranty-covered system, and the compensation paid to affected residents by the university was considered part of the project’s cost. Həm’ləsəm’ resident Seth Romero said the hot water problem has
improved since December. “Every once in a while, like in the mornings when it’s really busy, sometimes it’s temperate, but for the most part it’s better than it was.” In an email, Totem Park Residence Life Manager Kaitlyn Hazzard said the last outage in q’ələχən was in mid-January, while həm’ləsəm’ had an outage in mid-February. “When using cuttingedge technology, unfortunately unforeseen circumstances can arise... The systems that are installed are incredibly complex,” wrote Hazard.
UBC may admit based on Grade 11 marks Kalyeena Makortoff News Editor
The fear of BC teachers not issuing interim report cards has forced UBC to consider changing its admission criteria. But critics say it’s unfair to swap senior grades two months after applications closed. To avoid stalling the admissions process, UBC is looking to substitute marks from parallel Grade 11 courses if interim Grade 12 marks are unavailable for in-province applicants. For example, if a Grade 12 history mark is unavailable, a Grade 11 history course would be used. But UBC professor and chair of the senate admissions committee Richard Anstee said the policy will disadvantage applicants who had lower grades before their senior year.
This [using Grade 11 marks] is an exceptional measure given the circumstances. James Ridge UBC registrar
Designs presented for proposed campus skatepark
COURTESY CAMPUS AND COMMUNITY PLANNING
Stepan Soroka Contributor
GEOFF LISTER/THE UBYSSEY
BC students may be admitted to UBC based on Grade 11 marks if their Grade 12 marks aren’t available because of the BCTF strike.
Grade 11 marks from out-of-province and international applicants, BC students have had to rely on marks from their senior year for admittance. UBC typically relies on report cards issued in March or April to help determine early admissions. “I think a lot of students would get up in arms because most of the universities make offers of admission in early April. They’re going to come back and say, ‘You made me wait a lot longer,’” said UBC director of undergraduate admissions Andrew Arida. However, UBC might be forced to
make the change. “This is an exceptional measure given the circumstances,” said UBC Registrar James Ridge. If students are rejected based on Grade 11 marks alone, Ridge said they would be put in queue and given a second chance of admission in May when grades are available from the Ministry of Education. Despite the safeguard, Anstee expects that around 100 students may fall through the cracks if the policy is passed. “Some students will be admitted based on their Grade 11 grades that otherwise would not have been and that means that
certain students who would have been admitted on their interim grades won’t be,” he said. But Ridge emphasized that grades won’t be the whole picture. “We’re also going to be considering the personal profile for every single applicant, so grade 12 marks are still up there and very important, but they’re part of the equation, not the entire admission decision,” Ridge said. The policy was adopted by UBC Okanagan last week, and requires Senate approval before being applied to the Vancouver campus next week. U
UBC researcher treks to Everest to research effects of low oxygen
Closing of downtown Sears store opens possibility for UBC and others
Possibility that Decemberborn children are overdiagnosed with ADHD
Stolen UBC laptop recovered
UBC-O physiologist Philip Ainslie is organizing a 25-person expedition to Mount Everest to study the effects of low oxygen levels on the body. The goal of the expedition is to improve understanding of how the body adapts to low oxygen levels caused by respiratory issues, sleep apnea, heart attacks and strokes. The group will spend its first week in the Nepalese capital of Katmandu, and then make a tenday trek to the Pyramid Lab, an international research facility near the Everest base camp five kilometres above sea level.
Sears Canada Inc. has announced that it will close its Vancouver store located at the Pacific Centre by late October. Architect Bing Thom raised the possibility of using the space to expand the Vancouver Art Gallery or the downtown UBC and SFU campuses. The VAG has been intent on building a new gallery on city-owned land at the Larwill Park site, located at Georgia and Cambie. However, with the surprise development, city councillor Heather Deal is encouraging the VAG to research the possibility of using the complex. “This is a new option. We should take a look at it,” said Deal.
UBC researchers have found that children born in December are 39 per cent more likely to be diagnosed with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) and medicated than older students in the same grade. The study, led by UBC researcher Richard Morrow and published in the Canadian Medical Association Journal, examined the tendency among students in the same grade to have discrepancies in academic and athletic skills heavily influenced by the month of birth. The study suggests that younger students may be diagnosed with ADHD because they are less mature.
Sufficient notice should have been given to students hoping to get into the university, Anstee said. “Would you like to be a Grade 12 student and then all of a sudden be told that your Grade 11 grades matter?” Ultimately, UBC wants to match its competitors who already rely on Grade 11 marks for applications, as waiting until the Ministry database can provide marks in May is often too late. While UBC considers some
The newly-built houses use an airto-water heat pump system to provide hot water, which was meant to save energy as part of UBC’s sustainability agenda. Parr said that while it’s good to push the envelope, construction projects at UBC need to have a balanced approach. “We have to be careful not to take too much risk around the provision of a quality and livable environment for students, particularly when it comes to their living environment.” U
News briefs A laptop that contained information on 50,000 students who attended UBC between 2007 and 2012 was stolen from a vehicle in Burnaby late last month. The laptop was retrieved by the RCMP ten days after it was stolen from a parked vehicle in the Metrotown area. It did not contain any financial information, nor anything that would be sufficient to identify specific students. According to UBC spokesperson Lucie McNeill, personal encrypted data was never in danger of being accessed. However, UBC still plans to review its security procedures to ensure that students’ sensitive personal information is protected. U
Four design concepts have been presented for a proposed UBC skatepark. New Line Skateparks and Van Der Zalm & Associates presented four possible skatepark designs to the UBC community at an open house this Monday. Aside from providing feedback on the concepts, a design station gave attendees the option of creating their own skatepark by choosing features from a “skatepark catalogue.” The proposal is awaiting approval from the university and the UNA, but if approved, the skatepark will be built next to the basketball courts by Thunderbird Boulevard. UBC Transportation Planner Adam Cooper was optimistic about the project’s progress. “It’s still contingent on funding,” said Cooper, “but I think the major setback would come in the form of some sort of negative community feedback in regards to the skatepark.” But the community seems to be supportive of the project. “Of the online and written comments we have received throughout the process, 87 per cent have expressed general support or excitement towards the project,” Cooper said. The design for UBC’s park will include a mix of transition and street obstacles. Street obstacles can include stairs, handrails and embankments and transition terrain can mimic bowls created by empty swimming pools, which have been popular with skateboarders since the 1970s. The park will also preserve some of the nine trees currently located in the space. These spaces would be out of the way of skateboard traffic and allow for socializing. The four perspective designs will be consolidated into a “final design direction” by March 31, at which point the project will undergo final review by the UNA and UBC. U
4 | News | 03.08.2012 LABOUR >>
AMS security approves strike Andrew Bates
BC government to cut advanced education budget by $70 million Arshy Mann
Senior Web Writer
The AMS and its SUB security workers are heading back to the bargaining table. But this time, the workers have the threat of a strike on hand. SUB Security workers passed a strike vote unanimously Tuesday evening. But the AMS and the security worker’s union, COPE 378, have agreed to continue negotiations through mediated bargaining sessions. “We’ve told them that if we see more pressuring behaviour on our members...that we will call a [72hour] strike notice,” said Jarrah Hodge, communication representative for COPE 378. “But we’re hopeful that this sent them a message and that they will be able to come to the table to resolve these outstanding issues.” Since the security staff voted to unionize in September, attempts to negotiate a first collective bargaining agreement have been marred by conflict. A mediator was called in when negotiation stalled over the terms under which the AMS can contract external security such as Live Host International. Last week, the union filed a complaint against the AMS, alleging discrimination against security supervisor Irfan Reayat, who helped organize unionization. “It seems that it has at least started to succeed in sending a message to the employer about the frustration that’s there and the
Managing Editor, Web
Security workers cast their ballots on a strike vote ealier this week.
determination to resolve these key issues,” said Hodge. COPE 378 also represents AMS administrative workers. Those workers and other SUB employees that are represented by unions like CUPE 116 will not go on strike as a result of this vote. However, COPE 378 expects all other union workers not to cross picket lines. “We are dedicated to having timely, serious, and open dialogue through mediation,” said AMS President Matt Parson, noting
ANDREW BATES/THE UBYSSEY
that the AMS was doing business as usual during negotiation. “The AMS anticipates that both parties will agree on an equitable solution that fits the needs of all security employees while supporting the 48,000 students of the AMS.” While COPE claims the next bargaining dates were moved up to March 16, the AMS said that mediation is set to resume on March 28 as scheduled by the union. However, the union said that March 28 was the earliest date originally requested by the AMS. U
In the pursuit of a balanced budget, the BC government is asking universities and colleges to tighten their belts. The BC government will cut funding for post-secondary education by $70 million over the next three years. This represents a 2.2 per cent decrease of the government’s contribution to the sector. According to Finance Minister Kevin Falcon, the government expects this money to come from administrative savings. “The Province will work with universities, colleges and other institutions to help ensure that front-line programs are not affected,” he said in his budget announcement. “And we believe a one per cent cost reduction is very achievable.” The budget document asserts that savings can be found by combining purchases of equipment by institutions, cutting travel costs and and by reducing support services. A statement from the Ministry of Advanced Education emphasized that the budget also included a $9 million increase for “additional medical, health and other priority seats,” and that $462 million had been set aside for capital projects over the next few years. UBC declined to comment about how the university will deal with the funding cuts. Michelle Mungall, the NDP critic for advanced education, said that despite the government’s promises, the funding cut is likely to affect students. “We’re seeing colleges report projected deficits, and that would be before the budget was released. And now with this budget, we’re going to see program cuts.” She argued that institutions have been cutting back on administration for years and that there remains little left to cut. “They’ve become very lean machines,” she said. “And they have no choice but to go back to
students. No surprise here, when you look at the budget book, the only thing increasing in post-secondary education is revenue from tuition.” Mungall said that colleges will be hit harder by the funding cuts than universities. “They don’t have the ability to seek out research grants to top up in the same way that universities do.” Mungall also pointed to the special challenges of northern and rural institutions. She argued that schools that have multiple campuses spread over large regions, such as Okanagan College and Northwest Community College, must pay more for travel and often replicate classes at various campuses. Robert Clift, the executive director of the Canadian Federation of University Faculty Associations of BC (CUFA), said that post-secondary institutions face greater inflationary pressures than other sectors of the economy. “Prices for things like journals, scientific equipment, laboratory supplies...the inflation rates for those types of goods and services increases at a faster rate than the general price index,” he said. Clift was suspect of the government’s claim that funding cuts won’t affect students. “They said that the cuts can’t come at the expense of services to students, which is laudable, but impossible,” he said. “Students are going to feel this one way or another.” Clift went on to say that while lay-offs are unlikely at universities, savings may be found is if departments don’t rehiring for vacancies. “So it’s not that a faculty member gets laid off, but a department that was maybe looking to hire somebody won’t do that hiring now. “When we can’t reduce services to students, we can’t cut the number of sections, so what we do [is] we try to hire sessional instructors to do that job.” U
03.08.2012 | News | 5 SCHOLARSHIPS >>
Students recognized, but not rewarded UBC replaces President’s Entrance Scholarship with non-monetary award
Natalya Kautz Staff Writer
New UBC students will still be recognized for exceptional high school grades, but one financial reward for them no longer exists. The university has introduced the Chancellor’s Scholar Award (CSA), offered to incoming students with an average of 95 per cent or higher upon application to UBC. Unlike the discontinued President’s Entrance Scholarship (PES), the award will not be accompanied by a financial grant, but it will be permanently noted on students’ transcripts. “With the cancellation of the President’s Entrance Scholarship, we wanted to continue to acknowledge the outstanding academic students coming to UBC,” explained Anne DeWolfe, director of Student Financial Assistance and Awards. “So when the PES was cancelled, this was creating a designation that was non-monetary,” she said. According to associate VP and registrar of UBC Enrolment Services James Ridge, the 95 per cent cut-off ensures that the award is selective. “At 90 [per cent], just about everybody who gets into sciences would get the award. [But] 95 and up, that really is an extraordinary accomplishment in high school,
YARA DE JONG/THE UBYSSEY
Students studying in the Riddington Reading Room in Irving K. Barber.
and we want to recognize that.” Ridge argued that the PES offered more than financial gain, as it did show up on student transcripts. The CSA is meant to offer the same benefit. “We’ve heard from students and others that having a selective entrance award on their permanent transcripts can be helpful in the future...for going on to grad school or professional programs or for
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applying for subsequent scholarship opportunities.” However, Arts Undergraduate Society president and student senator Justin Yang argued that value of the non-monetary award is minimal. “It’s a nominal recognition. Four years down the line it’s not going to mean anything, in my opinion. And without money, it doesn’t really have any teeth.” Yang said the requirements of the award sent a “conflicted
message” on the university’s commitment to broad-based admissions, by “only recognizing students with over 95 per cent, but looking for students with more well-roundedness.” While recognizing the non-academic achievements of incoming students has been discussed, Ridge said there are no plans to introduce awards targeted to broadbased admissions. “At this point it’s not linked to any scoring of the personal profile... That’s not to say that in the future we wouldn’t score it differently, but I think for the foreseeable future it’ll just be the high school marks,” he said. Based on historical entrance averages, roughly one in every six incoming students would be eligible for the award. In September 2011, 850 domestic and 100 international students would have become Chancellor’s Scholars—15 per cent of admitted students. The CSA will first be offered to incoming students in fall 2012. Like the PES, it will be awarded automatically to students who meet the requirements upon admission. While Yang supported the simplicity of the automatic award, he continued to doubt its usefulness. “The money’s not there, so [the award] doesn’t affect students tangibly...But it can only help, it can’t hurt.” U
Where will the money go?
Amount of funding previously devoted to the President’s Entrance Scholarship annually.
will go toward work study. will be allocated to Go Global funding.
$1.1M $500K bursaries.
will stabilize endowed awards impacted by the recession.
will fund Major Entrance Scholarships. will fund Loran Scholar programs Source: James Ridge, Registrar of UBC Enrollment Services
6 | News | 03.08.2012
Student journals allow many to answer “yes” By Will McDonald
From left to right: Daniel Ralston, Lindsay Keys, Laura Ritland and Gordon Katic
It’s a classic question asked by undergrads: how can I make sure I get into grad school? Not surprisingly, there are a wealth of resources to help with grad school applications at UBC. Assistant dean of graduate studies, Jennifer Phelps, said that academic achievement, letters of recommendation and volunteer experience are all important on applications. But an additional area that can increase chances is having work published in student journals, which Phelps said is a great way for students to gain relevant experience for graduate programs. “Publishing in a journal, especially one that is reviewed by academics, and [having] their work selected, that’s a great example of demonstrating that the student is already participating in academic resource and new knowledge generation,” said Phelps. “And that’s exactly what graduate school is all about.” Political science professor Allen Sens, who reviews the Journal of International Affairs , said
undergraduate journals have incredible value for students. “I think [getting published] is a pretty important moment for any student and provides a sense of satisfaction and accomplishment and completion.” According to Phelps, students often overestimate the importance of volunteer experience when applying to graduate school. “Volunteering is great and everybody thinks volunteering is wonderful, but if it’s not in an area that’s very relevant to the graduate program, it’s really not going to have much of an impact on the admissions decision.” “Journals are such a great way to get your name out there if you’re going to be applying to grad school,” said Atlas editor-in-chief Lindsay Keys. “From a number of profs that I’ve talked to, it can be the difference between getting into grad school and not.” The Ubyssey talked to four of the student journals on campus to find out how they work.
Student Undergraduate Journal of Art History UBC’s Undergraduate Journal of Art History is one of only two undergraduate art history journals in Canada. The three-year-old journal publishes four to five times a year. “Art history being quite a small department, it’s hard to get someone outside art history to do something related enough to be published in an art history journal,” said managing editor Daniel Ralston. The student editorial board is responsible for both selection and review of the submissions. “Obviously it would be great if our profs had the time to review the papers,” said Ralston. “They are reviewed by the department before it’s published, but it’s more of a copy editing and assuring that we’re not saying anything absolutely ridiculous. “We would like [the faculty members] to get as involved as possible, but it’s just something that’s not practical for us or for them time-wise.” But Ralston thinks that the Undergraduate Journal of Art History only appeals to a small audience. “I would like to think that it’s read by students in the art history department. It’s not the most lofty of goals, but I think it’s achievable,” said Ralston. “I wouldn’t flatter it by saying the readership is wide.” The journal is published annually online.
RN ALS JOU The Atlas The Atlas: Undergraduate Journal of World History publishes a range of historical papers every year. “We’ve got submissions ranging from Rudyard Kipling and the white man’s burden, to one on Mao and the CCP…pretty much anything with a significant historical content,” said editor-in-chief Lindsay Keys. The Atlas received around 50 submissions this year, down from the 80 it got last year. “I’m really glad that we didn’t have that many this year, because I’ve got a team of nine editors,” said Keys. Once the editorial team narrows down the submissions, they are faculty-reviewed and returned to the authors for editing. The journal then publishes the five or six best papers. Most of the submissions are from UBC, but the journal is open to anyone. “This year they were all by UBC students, but we don’t specifically insist that it’s all by UBC. We just don’t really advertise outside UBC,” said Keys.
The Garden Statuary The Garden Statuary is the only English undergraduate journal at UBC. Editor-in-chief Laura Ritland started the journal last year along with students from her English honours class. “It’s really great that we have a journal because we haven’t had an English undergraduate journal in a while,” said Ritland. The journal publishes a wide range of academic and creative submissions. “It’s about 25 per cent academic. A large part is creative work so far,” said Ritland. “We accept a really broad range of creative writing— fiction, poetry, non-fiction, visual arts, film and music on our YouTube channel.” The journal has a faculty advisory board, but students are in charge. “[The faculty are] there to offer us some support…but in terms of all the reviewing and running of the journal, it’s completely student-run,” said Ritland. The Garden Statuary significantly narrowed down the 151 submissions it received last term for its final product. “We published two essays, six poems, one to two pieces of prose…a variety of visual art depending on how much we get, and usually one film or music submission.” The journal is published online, and Ritland said it is doing well for its first year. “We get quite a few readers…About 50 to 60 people a day look at our [web]page,” said Ritland.
Journal of International Affairs
The Journal of International Affairs is a 27-year-old journal run by the International Relations Students Association. “We focus on issues in international politics, it’s very broad, but it could be things like environmental issues, war, peace, conflicts, [those] kind of things,” said editor-in-chief Gord Katic. Although it is a student journal, it is reviewed by professors who are experts in their fields. “We give a lot of credence to the feedback we get from the faculty…We try and get the best person for each paper,” said Katic. Recently, the journal has tried to appeal to more students, said Katic. “We’ve gone towards creating photo essays, having cartoons, having art submissions, having a couple big-name interviews.” The journal receives around 80 submissions every year and only publishes 8 to 12. While most of the submissions come from UBC, anyone from the U21 group of schools—an international group of universities—can submit. Katic encouraged students to submit their work. “I would really implore students to submit every year…to have the ideas that you are proud of and passionate about be disseminated to smart people and important people within your faculty.” U
Editor: Drake Fenton
UBC champions athletic reform in Canada Committee co-chaired by Toope advocates scholarships, elite leagues for sports Justin McElroy
to way Path
Last year, after a five-year flirtation, UBC rejected moving its sports teams to the NCAA. At the time, President Stephen Toope said that while competing full-time against American schools was not in the university’s best interests, the status quo wasn’t working. “A re-invigorated CIS is in UBC’s interest…I believe change is possible,” he said at the time. Now, that change has come. Or rather, a proposal for it. For the past year, Toope has cochaired a committee of ten university presidents and athletic directors from across western Canada, looking at how to reform athletics. Now they have, if not a fully fledged proposal, a set of principles that could revolutionize how Canadian universities treat sports. “The everyone-is-the-same system is increasingly not working,” Toope bluntly said in an interview. Twenty years ago, there were eight major universities in western Canada, and they all played the same sports and were generally competitive with one another. No longer. There are double the number of universities, and in every sport a sizeable gap exists between the haves and have-nots. This naturally leads to conversations of tiering universities based on skill, not geography. But where do you draw the line? And what if a smaller school is good in some sports, but not others? It was while debating this idea that the committee, according to Toope, had a eureka moment: “What if we allowed universities to make their own determination about where they wanted to play up?” That simple determination forms the backbone of the proposal. In Toope’s mind, a national committee would designate a limited number of athletic programs as elite-level. Schools could play in the elite level but would have to provide a minimum number of coaches, training sessions and integrated medicine and sports science support. There would be integration with the “Own the Podium” program. These elite-level schools would compete against each other regardless of geography. At the end of the year, they would still compete against other schools for a national championship. And yes, there would be full-ride scholarships offered to athletes, but it would be done under a cap system, where schools could only spend a maximum amount on scholarships in each sport. As such, the proposal is a compromise, designed to placate small schools afraid of being left behind and Ontario schools who don’t want to create costly bidding wars for athletes. But beneath the compromise is a real revelation: Canadian universities have an integral role to play in developing elite amateur athletes. We’ve made funding and developing athletes a priority. There are elite youth programs, national training centres, “Own the Podium” financial incentives and government
Pilot project started, with a small number of programs designated as elite league
Canada West Approval Would still compete at the end of the year for CIS Championships
Teams would have to have a minimum number of coaches, trainers, and options for off-season competition
c ip a
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Schools could offer full-ride scholarships, but could only offer a maximum amount of dollars per program
Teams in the elite league would compete against each other throughout the regular season
Possible pilot sports
and corporate support for our elite amateur athletes. It’s designed to keep top athletes in Canada and to give them a chance for gold medals. As a nation, we’ve decided that if you’re a world-class swimmer, you deserve to be fully supported in the pursuit of your craft, just as world-class people in any other field would. Except there’s a catch. In order to be supported, you need to financially support yourself. If you want to go to university in your country of birth, well, sorry. Only tuition can be covered, which these days isn’t nearly enough. You’re stuck choosing between living at home, getting student loans or getting a couple jobs to balance between school and sports.
Women’s field hockey
This is why hundreds of young Canadian athletes are heading to the States every year—not because they have dreams of being the next Steve Nash or Tom Brady, but because going to the NCAA is the only conceivable dream of continuing to train in the sport that they’ve spent years competing in. In sports as diverse as women’s hockey, men’s volleyball, swimming and rowing, field hockey and rugby, there are few realistic options for bright and talented athletes to stay in Canada once they turn 18. Toope’s reform would keep a lot of these kids in Canada. More than that, it would allow universities to target some of their athletic programs as high-performing centres for coaches, trainers and athletes.
If it sounds a little bit like how universities treat academic programs, that’s because it was designed that way. “What we’re saying is, ‘Look, we’re very eager to recruit the very top students in a variety of disciplines. Why can’t we do the same with student-athletes?’” said Toope. “We’re trying to communicate increasingly to presidents of universities across the country who historically in Canada have not been really engaged on interuniversity sport. We were trying to phrase the report in a way that we thought people who were used to thinking in academic programs can relate to.” Of course, when Toope said that, what he really meant is that a reform this large will need the support of
presidents, not athletic directors, from across Canada to succeed. “If we think there’s enough support to bring something sensible forward, we’ll go to the Canada West in June, I hope we’ll get ratification for some version for this, and then we will have to be presenting this across the country,” he said. It’s a long process, with 2014-2015 the earliest it could be implemented, and only then in a limited number of sports to start. And the road to athletic scholarships in Canada is littered with discarded proposals. But at the very least, it will force Canadian universities to ask themselves what exactly they want out of their athletic programs. And that is a conversation badly needing to happen. U
Editor: Ginny Monaco
NEW MEDIA >>
The nicest kids in Robson
CBC reinventing and reimagining in a new online survey Andrew Bates Senior Web Writer
Rez musicals kick off with Vanier’s Dirty Rotten Scoundrels Kayi Wong Contributor
t’s the time of year when Lower Mall turns into 42nd Street. When 18-year old Arts students call upon their inner Kurt, Finn or Rachel. And when a bunch of UBC kids decide to put on a show. The annual series of residence musicals begins this week at Place Vanier. From March 8 to 10, the Vanier ballroom will be the intimate and enthusiastic home of Dirty Rotten Scoundrels . Originally a 1988 movie starring Steve Martin and Michael Caine, the film was adapted into a Broadway show in 2005, and cheekily tells the story of two American con men attempting to outdo the other in Beaumont-Sur-Mer. “It’s an iconic thing for Vanier. Every year, everyone knows about the musical and gets excited when the ads start showing up,” said Samuel Yellin, a Vanier Residence Life coordinator. Yellin plays trumpet in this year’s production and also acts as the adviser for the musical committee. A Vanier musical veteran, his first stint was the 2008 production of Fame, and this will mark his fifth year participating in the residence’s annual affair. “People have asked me which [musical] is my favourite, but every musical is different; they are all really fun. Some people think it’s going to be some silly high school musical, but it really is a first-rate production.” Director Frances Young was “really torn between actually trying out or trying out for an executive position, but I did musicals for five years so I thought it [would] be cool. I codirected my senior year and I loved it so much that I wanted to do it again.” She revealed that if it wasn’t for the difficulty in getting the rights to the musical, students could have been watching Legally Blonde instead of Dirty Rotten Scoundrels this week. “Eventually we chose Dirty Rotten Scoundrels because it was something interesting, but not too popular. We knew it would be fun for us as a committee and for the residents to take part in,” said Yellin. He believes the musical “changes residence experience, especially for those who choose to take on leadership roles. It is one of the first opportunities they have for leadership in university.” The Vanier musical team consists of more than 50 students in a variety of roles, from the orchestra to the set designers to the onstage performers themselves. Planning and auditions began early in the school year. “It’s been really cool to see the team building up, to see the set and costume designs and the huge committee of people who are doing different parts of the musical come together,” said assistant director Emilie Russell. “I have never been involved with stage managing before so this is kind of a new experience, but I’m here to learn,” said Jonathan Harrison, the production’s stage manager. “And it has definitely made my residence life more entertaining. The Vanier tradition is fantastic and our whole team is pretty tight. “I have already invited my parents, sister, uncle and grandparents.” U
Photos by Alexandra Downing
Forty years ago, the first domestic TV satellite launched in Canada. Until then, northern CBC stations needed to forward single tapes from community to community in order to have content. How different might the CBC look 40 years from now? Reimagine CBC, an independent campaign lead by advocacy groups OpenMedia.ca and LeadNow, is a group looking to crowdsource an answer. The website’s submission system allows users to submit ideas for restructuring the public broadcaster, which are then rated and ranked similar to user-curated sites like Reddit. “[The CBC is] under a lot of threats...in terms of funding cuts or people saying it lacks support or it lacks relevance in a digital moment,” said Tyler Morgenstern, outreach coordinator for Reimagine CBC. “If the CBC thinks big about its place within a changing media ecology...they can really build a vibrant and strong future for themselves.” Ideas on the site, launched January 31, include prioritizing investigative journalism, political analysis, radio and digital audio and community content, while decreasing Toronto content and reducing the organization’s structural bureaucracy. Morgenstern points to changes like the CBC’s new music portal. The website and mobile app aggregates its various radio networks and provides streaming audio of concerts, specific shows like Q with Jian Ghomeshi, and select artist pages. “That’s the kind of ethos that we’re looking for,” he said. “The want to engage Canadians in content in new ways that responds to the environment we’re working with.” He praised the user response. “People have really been attracted to the project and taking initiative.” The CBC is currently running on a five-year plan that ends in 2015. Morgenstern thinks that crowdsourcing is important to informing the shape of future plans. “The public broadcaster should be informed by the public,” he said. “Why not bring in Canadians from all different kinds of communities to create a new vision for the kind of public broadcaster they want to see?” The plan down the road is to sort the responses into subject area and provide a report on the findings. “We’re interested in the ideas that are being brought to the table and look forward to seeing their final recommendations,” Marco Dube, director of CBC’s Communication Services, wrote in an email. Morgenstern said that the feedback proves a point. “It’s a really strong argument against those people that say that nobody cares about the CBC. “Clearly there’s people all across the country,” Morgenstern said, “that not only care enough about the CBC to engage the campaign, but are really working and thinking hard about how to make these solutions happen.” U
03.08.2012 | Culture | 9 INTERVIEW >>
Strombo talks career changes and 90s nostalgia Fandemonium and looking around going, ‘God, you’ve got 18-year-old girls fighting each other in a kiddie pool and you’re asking me to do the play-by-play? I’m 31! Are you crazy?’ They were great people at MuchMusic, but I could see that they were moving towards a kind of entertainment media that I didn’t want to be a part of. It was the right time.
Ginny Monaco Culture Editor
TV personality George Stroumboulopoulos will be on campus to take part in the Arts Undergraduate Society’s Arts Last Lecture on March 16. The Ubyssey spoke to him about his CBC show, the current state of entertainment television and why he doesn’t think of himself as an old man.
U: I feel lucky I grew up with MuchMusic in the 90s and the early 2000s. GS: It was a different time, man.
The Ubyssey: Do you think you work too much? Stroumboulopoulos: No. But I think people think you have the life you have because of the job you have. But I think for a guy like me, you actually have the job you have based on your personality. I didn’t have to work like this. I chose to work like this. Sometimes what happens is, you get caught up inadvertently in momentum. The momentum of your daily life takes over and you wake up one day and you’re 39. I work a lot, but you know...My grandmother worked hard. I work a lot of hours, but it ain’t hard. It’s a different kind of hard. It takes a different kind of focus. You have to be creative, you have to try to be funny, you have be smart, you always have to read.
U: What keeps you on the show? GS: I don’t know. If I told you, I don’t think you’d believe me. But I’ll tell you anyways. I don’t think about why I do it.
U: No? GS: Nope. I just go with what feels right...Wherever my head’s at, then that’s the direction we take the show.
U: It felt legitimate.
COURTESY OF THE NATIONAL SPEAKERS BUREAU
“In my core and in the art I consume and the conversations I have, I want to be at the end of the earth,” said Stroumboulopoulos.
The challenge after 20 years or whatever in a career is you have to figure out, “Do you enjoy the process of making it?” Those are the things you have to think about from time to time because you want to make sure you’re really at the cutting edge of your own personality. You know in those days, back when they used to think the world was flat? They would want to sail to ‘the end of the earth.’ In my core and in the art I consume and the conversations I have, I want to be at the end of the earth.
U: Do you ever look back on where you’ve gotten yourself in a 20-year career, or is it more about pushing yourself forward? GS: Well, I don’t look back. I’m sure you’ll experience this when you’ve
Modern life in the Arctic showcased in new doc
Ivana Litavees Contributor
It’s not about science or arts. “It’s an integration of both,” reflected filmmaker Joel Heath on his debut award-winning documentary, People of a Feather. With stunning footage of life in the Canadian north, the film exposes the challenges faced by the Inuit community on the Belcher Islands in Hudson Bay as they try to adapt to the effects of climate change. The film approaches environmental awareness from a multidisciplinary perspective, achieving a complex portrayal of the issue. Canadian ecologist and former UBC student, Joel Heath, first set foot in the Arctic as a member of the Canadian Wildlife Service to investigate a mass die-out of eider ducks in the late 1990s. Heath described the film as “artistic science.” It features the world’s first images of eider ducks diving under the sea ice, captured with an underwater camera system which Heath developed while pursuing his doctorate studies in the area. The documentary is notable for displaying certain Inuit traditions for the first time on film. Heath manages to compare the locals’ modern techniques and technology as they adapt to environmental changes, with their original practices. Through collaboration with
the Sanikiluaq community, the film re-enacts aspects of the Inuit lifestyle and hunting techniques and recreates traditional clothing and sledges from the past. The filmmaker sees his work as an opportunity for Canadians to understand life in the north. “It incorporates Inuit knowledge with Western science,” he said. Praised for its educational value, the project is currently evolving into an “Arctic sea ice” didactic package, including interactive DVDs designed for classrooms. The package will explore physical oceanography, ecology and social sciences. The film continues to attract worldwide attention and is currently nominated for an award in direction and cinematography at the New York International TV and Film Awards. It has stirred an overwhelming response from Vancouverites since it opened in theatres on March 2, and sold out at Cinecenta this past Saturday night at an early screening when nearly 400 people showed up. Heath said his purpose with the project was to “use film as a way to communicate.” Though it has its “roots in academics,” the filmmaker argued he wants to “reach the general audience in more scientific forms.” People of a Feather is screening until Friday, March 9 at Denman Theatre. U
done this for a long enough time. You are actually still the same guy or girl you were 20 years ago. You really are...I feel like a 23-year-old kid who worked at the FAN doing all night sports radio in Toronto. I’m not that far removed from the guy who wore a lizard mascot costume in Kelowna when I worked at a rock station there. I’m obviously a—hopefully—more evolved person and a more developed human being. However, you’re still who you are. I try to exist without any ego at all, so I don’t feel like I’ve accomplised anything.
U: Really? GS: We at the show feel like we didn’t waste the opportunity that was given to us... So I don’t spend a lot of time reflecting. I will say this: as I get older I’m slightly more sentimental than I used to be.
U: How so? GS: Because I’m still the same guy I was when I was 20. I look in the mirror and go, “Fuck, man. Jesus Christ, I look like my grandfather.” I’m sentimental about hockey and music and the early 90s in music and culture. But I think that’s because it’s the moment when you feel for the first time like your heart swells and you’re winning.
U: Were you ready to leave MuchMusic? GS: I was ready to go. I had been there for 5 years, I was 31. Entertainment television as a whole had shifted to be really young. They really, really over-sexualized young girls, which I didn’t think was cool. I mean it’s fine if you’re 15, but I was 31. It was weird. I’m not that guy. I remember doing a show called
GS: We took it seriously. It wasn’t just fluffy “let’s-play-a-video.” MuchMusic is actually one of the most important networks in the country because they need to reflect the youth. I find that it’s pretty narrow-casted right now.
U: Do you think of yourself as a journalist? GS: I think I have elements of it, sure.
U: Is it important? GS: Absolutely. We have these limited scopes based on the lives we lead. We don’t know everything. History is important, precedent is important, trends are important. But when you’re busy living your life, having relationships and breakups and mortgages and rent and leases and dogs dying—all that shit we have in our life—we don’t have time to focus on the whole world. But somebody has to. U —The Arts Last Lecture is March 16 in the Chan Centre. Tickets are still available.
Editor: Brian Platt
Humble suggestions for the new SUB Editor’s Notebook Brian Platt
INDIANA JOEL/THE UBYSSEY
The Last Word Parting shots and snap judgments on today’s issues Big Brother is watching Totem students Multiple sources have confirmed that some students in Totem residences have been told not to speak with the media about the ongoing problems with their facilities (lack of hot water, power shutoffs, exposed pipes and so on). We suspect residence advisors were given this directive by middle managers somewhere in UBC’s bureaucracy. At any rate, we have a message for students living on campus: you still live in a free country where you are allowed to complain about bad living conditions! Totem is not a totalitarian gated community where having a roof over your head is conditional on only sharing happy thoughts. If things are going wrong, you are allowed to complain about it. And please do!
Arts starts to think big again, and we hope others follow This year’s Arts Last Lecture features George Stroumboulopoulos (hereupon referred to as Strombo) speaking at the Chan Centre on March 16. The Arts Undergraduate Society has done a good job of advertising this event and will surely get great attendance for Strombo’s speech and the wine and cheese reception afterwards. But Strombo’s event at UBC stands out for its rarity. UBC hardly ever has big-name speakers coming through; the last one we can remember was when Sauder hosted Malcolm Gladwell in November. As one of the biggest universities in one of the biggest cities in the country, shouldn’t we have more opportunities to hear from people with a bit of fame? One reason for the lack of student culture at UBC is that we hardly ever have events that give us reason to get excited. This is well known in regard to the death of large concerts on campus, but it’s also true for guest lectures. So in this case, the AUS deserves praise
for thinking ambitiously and bringing in someone with a national following.
The growing storm over BC’s education funding With the teacher’s strike, the Liberal government is getting their first in-your-face opposition to the net zero mandate. But the vitriol from teachers comes from a deeper place. Yes, the BCTF is an extremely politicized union that rarely agrees with any government, but over the past decade the Liberals have had their priorities in places other than education, be it K-12 or postsecondary. The neglect for education is, in this paper’s opinion, not only short-sighted, but politically dangerous. Layoffs at some colleges are already underway. With the further reduction in funding for higher education combined with the expiration of bargaining agreements at institutions across BC, expect higher education to start making many more headlines—and not in a good way.
The AMS mishandled the security union from the start As the AMS and SUB Security continue to wrangle over a contract, and with the situation remaining tense and accusations of harassment lingering, one thing is abundantly clear to us: Your student union has dealt with this situation very poorly. Consider that the security forces first expressed a public interest in unionizing six months ago. Since that time, the head security manager has been let go and the person responsible for unionization has been disciplined—for what appears to be minor reasons—several times. Meanwhile, the amount of contracting out for Pit Pub security has noticeably increased. This has promoted a culture of angst, where the union believes
that the AMS would like to see them go away, and the AMS does nothing to dispute that notion. The AMS could have worked to create a healthy relationship with this new unionized force, or it could have quickly used legal methods to stop the spread of workers’ unions within the student union (a perfectly valid approach to take, though it would have been controversial). Instead, the AMS let itself get bogged down in a sticky middle ground and the incoming executives have been left to deal with the mess. After nearly half a year, it looks like any sort of functional relationship is still a long way off. Whatever your views on unionization, surely we can all agree on this: the AMS should clearly communicate to the student body how they view the security union and any future unions, and do so soon.
High-performance CIS divisions make sense A year ago, UBC left the NCAA at the altar, promising to try to reform the CIS instead. Now these reforms have arrived, and they are intriguing. Stephen Toope’s proposal involves establishing a high-performance division where schools can decide to elevate specific teams to an elite level where, among other requirements, programs must spend a mandatory amount on coaches, training and medical support. There are questions to ask. Is there enough competition in some programs to sustain two divisions? Will men’s and women’s programs receive equal high-performance funding? However, one thing is clear: the CIS is not viewed as an organization that can consistently produce professional players, with the exception of a few sports. If you want to improve the ability of the league to produce Canadian professionals, you need to focus on elite performance, and this proposal is how you do that. U
So we know we’re getting a shiny new $103 million SUB in a few years, and we know it will have all kinds of neat stuff in it. The floor plans are largely set and I can attest that future Ubyssey staff will have an office that us poor basement-dwellers can only fantasize about as we sit in our windowless dungeon. A few months ago, I was told by a professor emeritus that when the current SUB was opened in 1968, he and a few others referred to it as “the Führer’s bunker.” I can understand the impulse, given the building’s rather blunt and unwelcoming facade. Sure, any building will show its age after five decades, but let’s be honest: Canada’s largest student union has probably always deserved a little more out of its central hub of activity. But it’s not just the physical infrastructure that makes a difference for the student experience. With the fresh start of a new building, the AMS has the chance to fix all kinds of things about the SUB. So here’s a few humble suggestions for how the AMS can increase the general happiness of its members— or at least the members who are just like me. I’ve got three words for anyone who has ever stayed up drinking until the early hours of the morning: all day breakfast . How amazing would this be? The Pendulum breakfasts are great, but they only go until 11am. That works for those eager early-risers with their morning classes and their annoyingly peppy demeanours, but for those who start the day at
the crack of noon, hashbrowns and eggs at 2pm hit the spot like nothing else. Yes, the Delly has a breakfast wrap that’s sold all day, but it’s just not the same thing. Speaking of drinking until the early hours of the morning, it would sure be nice if the new SUB had a bar where you could drink until the early hours of the morning . On every night except for the madness of Wednesdays, this campus is dead after midnight. Koerner’s Pub used to be a reliable option, but those days appear to be gone forever. I know the Pit often closes early because it’s empty on most nights, and I’m hoping that will change with a new facility. But I’ve been there on multiple occasions when the Pit’s had many tables filled with thirsty customers, and last call is still announced around 11:30. Seriously: what the hell? As a fee-paying member of the student union, I demand to be able to consume alcohol at a licensed establishment until 2am every night, dammit. Can we please get a Slurpee machine installed somewhere in the new SUB? I can’t be the only one who would patronize such an establishment with religious consistency. And no, bubble tea is not an acceptable substitute. There should be a cozy lounge for late-night studying, and it should sell coffee, beer and wine. This place would look similar to The Pendulum but, importantly, it would stay open until at least midnight. I guarantee it would be full every night, and it would save many of us from having to go to Calhoun’s. The more I think about these things, the more I’m amazed that UBC doesn’t have them already. So come on, AMS; take these easy steps and make our time here a little more enjoyable. U
STOP wrong on monkeys Letters In your March 4 article, “Four research monkeys die in Parkinson’s experiment at UBC,” STOP UBC Animal Research conspire that four monkeys were intentionally euthanized in a study which did not require any animal deaths. The basis for these claims is a 2010 progress report citing a separate experiment by Dr Doudet in which four monkeys were to be killed (but from which no data has been published yet). “Dr Doudet may have reconfigured her protocols in order to comply with journal standards,” suggests STOP’s press release without specifics. These were two separate experiments and STOP is making a completely unsubstantiated claim that the same monkeys were used. In the most recent experiment, four monkeys were euthanized due to unexpected reactions to MPTP, a drug which ultimately results in neurodegeneration similar to Parkinson’s. But the experiment included in the 2010 progress report was to use lactacystin (i.e. a completely different drug) in order to pilot its use as a more accurate model of Parkinson’s (illustrating progressive neurodegeneration). Responding to this difference in
comments on the Ubyssey website, STOP’s research investigation coordinator Anne Birthistle jumps to the conclusion “that the remaining monkeys from the MPTP experiment are now undergoing the lactacystin injections and that they are to be killed after the final scanning.” She does not have an iota of evidence for this claim. It’s absurd to suggest that Dr Doudet would use monkeys subjected to MPTP subequently to study the effects of lactacystin. STOP fails to explain why Dr Doudet would even need to surreptitiously use monkeys involved in a separate study when the lactacystin study was provided with “high priority” by TRIUMF’s Life Sciences Projects Evaluation Committee. Sacrificing monkeys already subject to MPTP is never going to tell you anything about the effects of lactacystin, nor would any data where lactacystin administration follows MPTP treatment. Moreover, no journal would ever publish that article and no grant would be awarded on such weak research. Without publication or money there is no value to such an experiment, and no lynchpin in STOP’s argument. —Ricardo Bortolon MSc Neuroscience 2
Pictures and words on your university experience
New SUB tests physical limits of prez Harvard didn’t prepare Toope to shovel dirt in the cold Warnes World Bryce Warnes
Last week Stephen Toope, a bundle of AMS hacks (including several generations of former presidents), and some official-type UBC people stood by the Knoll on a snowy afternoon to officially break ground for the new SUB. If you watch The Ubyssey’s video of the event, it’s pretty clear that Stephen Toope had never used a spade prior to this ceremony. Toope sort of goes at it like the shovel is a giant spoon and the ground is made of mashed potatoes. He half-squats for leverage but it never occurs to him to plant one of his wingtips on the back of the spade. With typical aplomb he covers up his weak performance by grinning Toopishly and tossing a little dirt in the air, as if to say, “Yeah, I have no idea.” He’ll have plenty of time to improve his technique, though. Because if this new SUB is going to get built by 2014, Toope is going to do a lot of digging. Like roughly
a kajillion times what he did last week. Come to think of it, why did Toope only take one scoop of dirt? That’s hardly any at all. In order for the new building to go in, the whole Knoll has to be excavated and moved around. Besides that, the new SUB’s foundations need to be dug out, power and sewage lines put in, etc. That’s a lot of work for just one man. But I’m sure the official-type UBC people are busy with officialtype UBC stuff, and the former AMS presidents are busy being the Leaders of Tomorrow, so this project really does fall on Toope’s shoulders. I walk by the Knoll like every day and I haven’t seen Toope out there even once since the groundbreaking. This is super distressing. My younger sister is thinking about enrolling at UBC, and I want her to have a shiny new SUB with a brewery and sustainable shit and, like, an indoor skate park where dowdy bespectacled professors comically Shred the Gnar while speakers blast 90s alt-rock 24/7 and students mow down on cheesy slices of ‘za and give each other high fives. That dream for the future cannot come true as long as Toope is neglecting his duties. What the heck is
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Sure, Toope was happy to work the earth when the cameras were watching, but since then, he’s made little progress on the new SUB.
he doing right this moment, anyway? What does a president even do? Probably nothing, that’s what. Pretty soon there will be construction workers showing up to build the new SUB, and they’ll just be standing there with big rolled-up blueprints scratching the back of their heads and chewing on cigars and being like, “I don’t know, Vinny,
there’s supposed to be a hole here. Looks like the Toopester gave us the shaft.” Students need to take an active role with the new SUB. Which is to say, it’s time we start digging. Next time you go by the Knoll, grab some dirt. Just one scoop a day. That’s all it takes. You don’t even need to use a
gold-plated spade like they did at the groundbreaking. Bare hands work fine. You can get rid of the dirt by throwing it in a garbage can or recycling bin. If everyone works together, we’ll have a brand new SUB in no time! So get out there and dig. Because the Toopester is totally giving us the shaft. U
12 | Games | 03.08.2012 29- 1836 siege site 30- Gulf War missile 33- Relaxed 38- kleine Nachtmusik 39- State not to “mess with” 42- Beast 47- Get stuck in the mud 48- Asexual reproduction 52- Mohawk-sporting actor 53- Sam, e.g. 54- Farm team 55- Decree 56- Aforementioned 57- Self-contained 59- Art Deco designer 60- Parentheses, essentially 61- Red cosmetic 62- Textile worker 63- Sneaky guy? 64- Church areas Down
(CUP) — Puzzles provided by BestCrosswords.com. Used with permission.
Across 1- Deadly black snake 6- Westernmost of the Aleutians 10- School orgs. 14- the hole 15- Asian sea 16- Wash 17- Hospital
19- Banned apple spray 20- Curse 21- Beethoven’s birthplace 22- Bracelet site 23- Sun Devils’ sch. 24- Mental acuteness 26- Seldom 28- Ancient Palestinian
1- Eyelash cosmetic 2- Random 3- Pertaining to measure 4- Prejudice 5- Aardvark morsel 6- Brother of Moses 7- Triple 8- Mock 9- Einstein’s birthplace 10- Flora 11- Innovation of the late 20s 12- Celtic paradise 13- Tranquil 18- Comply 22- Small batteries 24- Agricultural implement 25- Cincinnati club 27- Comedian Philips
30- Hindu honorific 31- 100 yrs. 32- Application 34- Soccer legend 35- Salt Lake City hoopsters 36- “Everybody Hurts” band 37- Eminent 40- Place in order 41- Lounges 42- Entertained 43- Consisting of nine 44- Stir up 45- Crumble 46- Bio bit 47- Bandage 49- Dame 50- Strictly accurate 51- Have a feeling 55- Failure 57- Dupe 58- Altar in the sky
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