Diary of an estate agent... From Pimlico to Peckham – the weird and wonderful happenings in the world of estate agency by Jane Robathan
A
h, the autumn rush. This year, I took a family holiday right at the end of the summer. We’ve been screaming for stock all year and wow, have we been heard. It seems everyone’s putting their place up for sale, which means on returning to work last week, I immediately sank neckhigh in property descriptions. I had two large houses, previously prepared and ready to launch for the first week of September. There’s no point in putting a family home on the market when family-home-type-buyers are probably in the Cote D’Azur. Especially not considering those pesky upload dates that all the portals now publish. I always advise to hold off launching a house in August and think if an agent doesn’t tell their client to do this, their sanity should be squarely faced. Next up was a grandiose Georgian pile on the Oval side of Camberwell. The owner is an impressively successful designer and nothing short of perfectly charming. Then came the house that interrupted my holiday (for the sake of polite language, I’m saying no more), followed by a couple of nice-but-simple Peckham flats, a warehouse-y show-stopper and, finally, I rounded off with a thrillingly unique school conversion. This brochure is still ongoing, should be live any minute and the apartment will almost certainly sell high whatever the market is doing. There are such things as market-proof properties—ones that stride out the door by themselves. Before I left for holiday, we had a house so ripe, it landed five families fighting for it and an over-the-asking-price offer, in under two weeks. Agents can spot those a mile-off, that’s where some serious fee-bending can come into play. But when a developer insisted a friendly competitor had dropped to 0.7% a couple of months back, we were flabbergasted. Yesterday, it turns out he was lying. A developer. Honest. And now, I’ve just finished a meeting with a fashion-designer client, who, in high spirits, thought it best to add 25% to the price we valued him at. I always find these chats theoretically amusing. The story usually goes like this: we value, the vendor adds, I politely insist that they adjust within a few weeks. In most instances, the client clings onto the fantasy price as if it were real. And then comes the chat. Luckily, this is an astute man with a firm memory. If only the five-bedder would realise that I haven’t lost them money (that they were never going to make in the first place) and that, with the best will in the world, their ‘pesky upload date’ (see above) will be almost impossible to defend one day. I’ll let you know how that goes. www.roybrooks.co.uk
SUPERSONIC SEMI F
our or five double bedrooms, extravagant basement kitchen and a landscaped rear garden with side access and mega views. Find it near superb schools, around a ten minute walk to trains and Overground services plus shops and restaurants at Honor Oak Park. Canonbie Road, SE23, £1,495,000, Roy Brooks 020 8299 3021
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