9108 John Mosby Highway Upperville, VA. 20185
P.O. Box 127 Upperville, VA 20184
540-592-3343
contact@trinityupperville.org
www.trinityupperville.org
A Word of Greeting
The clergy and staff of Trinity Episcopal Church greet you with joy as you anticipate the celebration and blessing of your marriage! Christian marriage is both a sacramental rite of the Church and a vocation (calling) for Christians. Therefore, we will work earnestly with you to help make your wedding at Trinity a memorable and spiritually rich experience for you, your families and your guests.
We have prepared this booklet to let you know what we expect from you, and what you can expect from us in return, as we prepare together for your wedding day. The rules and requirements to be followed, for a marriage to take place at Trinity Episcopal Church, have been determined by:
• the laws of the Commonwealth of Virginia,
• the canons (laws) of the Episcopal Church,
• the rubrics (directions) of The Book of Common Prayer (1979), and
• local customs based upon tradition, convenience, and beauty.
Marriage is a sacramental rite of the Episcopal Church and Holy Matrimony is a sacred liturgy. Marriage is a relationship that was created and instituted by God. The Celebration and Blessing of a Marriage is “a solemn public covenant between a man and a woman in the presence of God” (The Book of Common Prayer, p. 422). The Church teaches that Holy Matrimony is a physical and spiritual union of a man and a woman, entered into within the community of faith, by mutual and free consent of the heart, mind, and will, and with the intent that it be lifelong. The service should reflect the glory and honor due God. It is a sacred service. It is never bride and groom centered but always Christ-centered.
The clergy, musicians, staff, and lay wedding coordinators at Trinity Church pledge to assist you in every way we can to ensure that your wedding day will be a beautiful, meaningful and joyful celebration. Guided by these standards, together we will help you plan a Christcentered wedding and enhance your relationship for a lifetime of Christian Marriage.
Before setting A Date For Your Wedding Ceremony...
Who may be married at Trinity Church?
The pastoral relationship between the congregation, the clergy, and the couple is very important. Ideally Christian marriage takes place in the context of a worshipping community in which the couple maintains, or intends to put down spiritual roots. Therefore, we offer our services primarily to those who are members – or children of members – of Trinity Church. Further, we want to support couples who are seeking a spiritual home. Before beginning wedding plans with the clergy couples who are not members of Trinity Church are required to worship frequently and habitually for twelve months at the church, to be supporting the ministry of the church financially through regular pledge giving, and to be actively engaged with the spiritual and social life of the church here.
The Episcopal Church requires that at least one person of the couple seeking marriage be a baptized Christian. For divorced persons, permission for remarriage – if a former spouse is still living – must be obtained from the Bishop of the Episcopal Diocese of Virginia and is subject to evidence of independent relationship counselling having been completed. In such cases, we require at least four months between the time of your first meeting with the priest and your wedding date in order to do the groundwork necessary to obtain the Bishop’s approval. The date of the wedding must be at least twelve months later than the date of the divorce decree. Where one or both parties have been divorced (or his or her marriage (s) annulled) the member of the clergy is expected to refer the couple to a licensed professional counselor or a certified pastoral counselor (e.g., a licensed psychiatrist, psychologist, or a pastoral counselor accredited by a professional association) at the expense of the couple. For more details see https://episcopalvirginia.org/wpcontent/uploads/2024/03/Remarriage_after_Divorce_Petition_for_webpage_-_rev__12024_Fillable.pdf or click here if viewing a digital copy of these Wedding Guidelines.
There is an additional $100.00 fee payable to Trinity Episcopal Church for preparing the paperwork to obtain the permission of the Bishop for remarriage.
Pre-Marital Instruction
After completing the Application for Marriage form here (also see Attachment A to this guide if you require a hard copy to complete and return) and meeting the qualifying criteria, a meeting with the priest will be arranged. This involves a discussion of the some of the contents of this booklet, and will introduce your Pre-Marital Instruction sessions. After this first meeting, three additional sessions are normally scheduled. These are to discern your calling to Christian marriage, to explore the dynamics of your relationship, and to plan the wedding itself. In some cases, the priest may feel more sessions are advisable.
In the case of the sons or daughters of parishioners living out of town, pre-marital instruction will typically be conducted by online meetings.
Scheduling your Wedding
No date will be set until the couple has completed all application forms, satisfied the qualifications to be married at Trinity Episcopal Church, and paid the required deposit. We will contact you at each of these key points to confirm the next steps.
Dates are reserved on a first requested basis to avoid any potential conflicts. We will discuss availability of possible dates with you avoiding pre-existing commitments within the life and ministry of the church such as other activities and events.
Most weddings are scheduled for Saturdays, but other days may be appropriate. Tradition does not permit weddings during the solemn Season of Lent (from Ash Wednesday through Easter Day). At Trinity Church, we also discourage do not typically conduct weddings on Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, New Year's Eve, and other dates when a scheduled service or special event in the life of the parish is taking place.
A wedding rehearsal is necessary for all weddings. The rehearsal is usually held the evening before the wedding and will take an hour or less. Promptness on the part of the wedding party is requested. The Sanctuary will be reserved for one hour for the rehearsal at no additional cost.
Because of the intricate logistics involved in each wedding – changing flowers, taking photographs, bridal parties dressing at the church, cleaning the church before Sunday services, etc. – it is not feasible to schedule more than one wedding per day. No wedding ceremony may begin later than 7:30 pm on the day of the event.
While most wedding services normally take place within Trinity Church, other locations may be appropriate. During warmer weather, an outdoor location, such as the Trinity Outdoor Sanctuary, may be desired. The priest may be willing to travel to another church or other appropriate location to conduct your ceremony, with appropriate expenses being considered and only with the express permission of the local priest or minister.
Clergy
The Rector of Trinity Church will typically preside at the service, but he may assign another Priest to conduct the ceremony if he is unavailable for any reason. This will be communicated to you in advance. We are frequently asked if another clergyperson from the wider ecumenical or interfaith community might be present. This is generally appropriate, but is subject to the agreement of the Rector and permission for this must first be obtained before issuing an invitation to an additional officiant. Clergy of this congregation will work with any other ordained person to ensure full participation by both as permitted within the guidelines of the Episcopal Church.
The clergy will develop a strong pastoral relationship with you as individuals and as a couple. Together you will explore the dynamics of your relationship, and plan (in collaboration with the Director of Music Ministries & Organist) the shape of the wedding liturgy.
Music
Trinity Church requires that you work with our Director of Music Ministries and Organist in planning your wedding. She/ he will help you plan appropriate music for the ceremony and can also put you in contact with additional musicians (e.g. strings, brass, and voices). Music selections must be appropriate for Christian worship within the tradition of the Episcopal Church. All decisions about the appropriateness of the music fall under the Director of Music’s jurisdiction who will discuss any special requirements with the Rector before making a final decision. No taped or pre-recorded music is allowed.
It is your responsibility to make an appointment to meet with the Director of Music at a mutually convenient time to discuss these plans. This should occur at least three months before the wedding. (More advanced planning may be needed to secure other musicians, whose fees are a separate contract.) Often, such a meeting can be conducted by telephone, but in-person meetings are available should you prefer. All persons involved in the selection process (typically just the bride and groom) should be present for the consultation. The Wedding Coordinator at Trinity Church will provide you with contact details for the Director of Music Ministries and Organist or you can e-mail direct here at the appropriate time. dan@trinityupperville.org
Wedding Coordinator
You will be assigned a Trinity Church Wedding Coordinator who will confirm the requirements for photographers, videographers, and flowers. If you are planning a large service and reception, you may also choose to retain the services of an outside Wedding Consultant. (The cost of this individual is not part of the Trinity Church fee schedule.) However, please be advised that, at the rehearsal and on the day of the ceremony, the Trinity Wedding Coordinator will be present and will oversee the details of the ceremony with the priest, organist, and wedding participants. The outside Wedding Consultant does not have a coordinating role at the ceremony. The Trinity Wedding Coordinator will also arrange for any acolytes and lay Eucharist ministers (if your ceremony include Communion) who may be needed to support the service.
Wedding Programs
Our Director of Communications (richard@trinityupperville.org) can provide you with examples of printed programs to help with designing the printed program for your ceremony and provide cost estimates. All information needed for the program must be provided to the church office at least three weeks before the wedding. You will be provided with a proof copy for checking. Responsibility for correcting errors (such as spelling errors, in particular the spelling of the names of people) lies with the wedding couple. If you choose to have your program prepared by the Trinity Church Office, but printed elsewhere, you will still be charged for our services in preparing the program, If you choose to have your programs prepared and printed elsewhere, you must provide a draft to the church office for the Priest’s approval prior to printing. This is to ensure the correct liturgical content, based on the liturgical requirements of the Episcopal Church.
Marriage License
The requirements of the Commonwealth of Virginia are that each couple apply for a marriage license. There is no waiting period, and the license is valid for 60 days. The license must be presented to the parish office at least five (5) days before the ceremony. The Assistant Administrator will return the license to the County Office. Please be aware that failure to provide the license to out office in due time will result in us being able to proceed with the ceremony.
Flowers
Trinity Church is blessed with an expert Flower Guild that is responsible for the flowers for all worship services in the church, including weddings. Arrangements made for your wedding service double for use at worship on the following Sunday. Arrangements required are those prepared for the main Altar, the side Chapel, and in the church entryway. Additional arrangements may also be made for pavement candles, other tables within the church and decorative urns. Pew flowers for reserved front pews may be displayed, but no tacks may be used, nor may any moisture be allowed against the woodwork. No flowers are allowed on the window sills.
All church flowers are arranged through the Trinity Flower Guild. Please contact the Director of the Flower Guild (phone number can be obtained through the church office) one month prior to your wedding to go over the options, costs, and details, and to coordinate the church flowers with your personal ones. You will be charged for the full cost of all flowers and materials, plus a levy of 15% of the total cost of flowers will be payable to Trinity Church Flower Guild for their time and labor.
Certain special dates on the church calendar (e.g. the Season of Christmas, the Day of Pentecost) require special flower arrangements. Your arrangements must coordinate with those being prepared for such parish celebrations.
All flowers are your gift to Trinity Church and are not to be removed from the church after the wedding.
Window Candles
Trinity Church has special mountings for candles that may be placed in the windows of the church. These may only be used if an evening wedding is planned, and the sun has set. There is an additional charge (see Fee Schedule in Appendix D) to reflect the time needed to fill, set-up and take-down these candles.
Photography & Filming Policy
Pictures may be taken at the back of the church only as the bridal party enters. However, taking pictures is not permitted during the service by guests. With the availability of cameras on cell phones, iPads, tablets, etc., many more individuals may try to take nonflash pictures. If this behavior is noted, the priest will stop the service and limit the taking of pictures to the designated photographer. A professional photographer, contracted by the wedding couple will be permitted to take photographs during the ceremony from specific locations only, as instructed by the officiating Priest. 5
The church is normally open an hour before the ceremony. Many couples utilize this time for photographs of the families and wedding party. Immediately following the service and prior to picture taking, the Altar Guild will clear the Altar of any vessels used in the service. The church will then remain open for photographs up to one hour following the service for additional pictures. Please keep this time to a minimum out of respect for church staff and volunteers.
You may film your ceremony. However, like still photographs, no special lighting may be used, and the camera must remain in a stationary position at the rear of the church. No second or third cameras may be used, nor cables run across the church floor.
If you plan to film your wedding, it is required that the videographer consult with the Trinity Wedding Coordinator and visit the church before the wedding. This way s/he will become familiar with the space and surroundings, and any misunderstanding can be cleared up beforehand.
Additional Furnishings for the Service
No additional furnishings (e.g., candelabra, canopies, runners, arches, etc.) may be brought into the church without the specific permission of the Rector of Trinity Church. Similarly no furnishings may be removed from the church. Trinity Church comfortably seats 236 persons. Additional chairs may be added in the side transepts and at the back of the nave to increase seating to 330 persons. (An additional charge will be made for the time spent by the Sexton and Housekeeper in the setup and take-down of this seating.) If more guests are expected, video and audio equipment and possibly chairs must be rented to allow viewing in Cox Hall. Rental must be arranged by the couple and associated labor costs for set-up and take-down are additional charges to the couple.
Reception Facilities
If desired, the Trinity Church campus may also be used to host a wedding reception. Cox Hall can seat 64 people. Tents may be rented and placed in the Bishop’s Garden, and the Courtyard may be used to host drinks receptions, etc. If any of these options is chosen, a rental fee will be payable (please see schedule of charges). The Wedding Party will be responsible for securing caterers, and obtaining any tables, chairs, linens, flatware, dishes, pots, pans and paper products, etc. needed beyond those made available in Cox Hall. All facilities must be returned to “pre-reception” condition at the conclusion of the event. Leftover food and drink must be removed. In keeping with Loudoun and Fauquier County noise ordinances, the reception must conclude by 11:00 pm. All clean-up activities must be completed by 12 midnight of the day of the reception. The deadline for completion of cleanup is non-negotiable; following a wedding held (typically) on a Saturday, Cox Hall will be in use again from early the day immediately following for church activities. The Trinity Wedding Coordinator will be happy to provide the names of vendors familiar with working at the church who may assist you with your reception.
Guidelines for Use of Our Facilities
The following guidelines apply to all activities applicable to the wedding and/or reception when held on the Trinity Church Campus:
1. The policy concerning the use of alcoholic beverages at Church functions or on the property of Trinity Church is as follows:
a) Alcoholic beverages will be limited to wine, champagne, and beer.
b) When alcohol is being served, food and alternative nonalcoholic beverages must be provided in an equally attractive manner and each must be clearly labeled
c) A responsible adult must be in charge of the distribution and storage of alcoholic beverages to insure that it is consumed in an appropriate manner. It is recommended a professional bartender be hired.
d) At all times, the organization or individual must be in compliance with the State of Virginia law recognizing the legal age for consumption of alcohol.
e) You must obtain a special event liability insurance policy naming “Trinity Episcopal Church” as the additional insured. Copies must be given to the church office 2 weeks prior to your reception or e-mailed here to finance@trinityupperville.org
2 Smoking is strictly prohibited within the buildings and on any area of the church grounds.
3. Handicapped access to Cox Hall (Main Hall and adjoining Restroom) is available from the courtyard (off the breezeway).
4. Rice, birdseed, confetti, and flower petals may not be thrown at the couple either in the church or as they leave the church because they create a major cleaning problem. Only natural flower petals or bubbles are permitted in the courtyard.
5. Unity candles are not part of the Episcopal worship tradition.
6. Receiving lines are not permitted at the church. Please plan for this at the reception.
7. If a tent is used for a reception in the Bishop’s Garden, it may be placed no earlier than the Wednesday prior to the wedding and must be removed no later than the following Monday. Please check with us about the location of the underground utilities before installing a tent. You are responsible for any damage and reinstatement costs.
Fees
Please see the attached schedule of fees. (Attachment D to this booklet or click here )
A fixed deposit payment of $500.00 is due no later than 6-months prior to the date of your ceremony. All invoices will be sent to the wedding couple unless otherwise agreed. Full payment of the balance will be due 30 days after date of issue of invoice. Please address all payments to “Trinity Episcopal Church”. Trinity Church will reimburse all staff members, musicians contracted by Trinity Church, and the Rector’s Discretionary Account, as appropriate.
A Generous Response
In addition to the above mentioned fees, some couples choose to make a contribution to Trinity Church as a way of recognizing God's presence in their relationship and thanking him for the blessing of each other and their faith community. Often, this is done on the anniversary date of the wedding, each year. You can set up an regular gift here. Please select “Special Gifts” from the drop down menu when requested to choose a fund.
Any Other Questions?
If you have any further question please call the Trinity Church Office at 540-592-3343 or email here (contact@trinityupperville.org) Our usual business hours are 9:00am 4:00pm Monday Friday excluding federal holidays.
The Next Steps…
You should have already completed the Marriage Application Form before receiving this guide. If not, please turn to Attachment A - Application f0r Marriage - and complete the form within this guide or use the link or QR code to complete the form online. We cannot proceed with the application process further until this form is received fully complete. Thank you.
A representative of Trinity Episcopal Church will contact you to discuss your application.
If appropriate you will be required to complete an application for Permission to Remarry to the Bishop of the Episcopal Diocese of Virginia. You will also be required to supply evidence of recent, independent relationship counselling. See page 2 of this guide for more information and how to apply.
Once you have read these Wedding Guidelines and are satisfied you understand the contents and fully accept the conditions set out, please complete the Wedding Agreement Form - Attachment B within this guide or use the link or QR code to complete the form online. Please e-mail or send the completed form to your Trinity Wedding Coordinator.
You will be now be required to pay a fixed sum deposit of $500.00. This payment is due no later than six months before the planned date of your wedding. Please ensure that you fully understand and agree to the Schedule of Fees - Attachment C within this booklet - as these form part of your contractual agreement with Trinity Episcopal Church.
Your Trinity Wedding Coordinator will now discuss potential, available dates for your wedding ceremony and will connect you with The Director of Music and The Director of Communications to make arrangements for your ceremony.
Your Trinity Wedding Coordinator will now arrange your Pre-Marital Counselling sessions between you and the officiating priest.
Please compete and return the form Attachment D - Declaration of Intent found within this booklet or use the link or QR code to complete the form online. Please e-mail or send the completed form to your Trinity Wedding Coordinator.
