Barry the Blue Boar Sighted!

Our undercover reporter [code name: ’London Gatwick’] goes whole hog in this exposé

Residents of Blue Boar Court, beware! There have recently been multiple confirmed sightings of an actual blue boar roving around the court. Thought to pose a clear and present danger to student life, Barry as he has been christened by Travisty writers weighs in at 200kg and stands five feet tall and ten feet long, with teeth like knives and tusks longer than a mathmo’s lecture timetable. Make no mistake: this is no ordinary pig. Barry is here to stay and he is here to slay.

But why has Barry appeared now? In a way, he’s what Blue Boar Court has been waiting for ever since it was built: an explanation for its apparently absurd name. Alas, Travisty can disclose that Barry was actually smuggled into Blue Boar under cover of night by a dedicated team of John’s zoologists. Last June, the powers that be at The College Which Must Not Be Named, reflecting on another year and another year’s failure to get the better of us in any meaningful sense, threatened their leading zoology students with expulsion unless they agreed to spend the summer travelling the world in search of a deadly, dangerous animal to let loose on Trinity in the new academic year. Barry, it turns out, was the best they could do.

After pumping him full of a veritable cocktail of high-end drugs, each designed to increase aggression and physical power, Barry was put under general anaesthetic for the journey to Trinity last Wednesday. Clad all in black and using grappling hooks to scale our walls, the zoologists had to enlist the help of John’s rowers to lift the dead weight of Barry’s sedated body over into Blue Boar Court. Once the feat was accomplished, Barry was placed just outside the entrance to the Wolfson Building to await his first victim. His fur had been dyed blue in the lab.

An unexpected side-effect of the intensive drugs programme Barry was put through is that he doesn’t physically exist in daylight. It is only at night-time that his atoms re-form into a recognisable whole and he resumes his John’s-induced hunt for human flesh. But we here at Travisty live in hope: we will award a lifetime of free drinks at the college bar to anyone who can pacify Barry and reverse-engineer him into a weapon to be used against John’s. Surely, such an end to Barry’s story is one we could all cheer.

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