Transformation Coaching Magazine July 2025 by Transformation Coaching Magazine

PUBLISHERS

Natalie Rivera

Joeel A. Rivera, M.Ed.

EDITOR

Lisa Cedrone

Anthony Tamalge, Heather Smith and Yanni Charalambous, Marnie Schneider, Darrell Hammon, Linda Commito, Nicole Shir, Jowanna Daley, Stéphane Narcis, David Murphy, Jo Mooy

Imagine discovering that your lifelong fear of water stems not from a childhood incident buried deep in your unconscious mind but from a past life as a sailor drowned when his ship went down. Or, perhaps, that inexplicable affinity you have for a foreign culture is rooted in a previous incarnation in medieval France. The idea that our souls carry the echoes of previous existences, which now influence our present experiences, is not just intriguing but potentially transformative.

Welcome to the world of Past Life Regression (PLR), a therapeutic technique that delves into the recesses of the subconscious to uncover traumas, not only in this life but also in previous incarnations!

In this form of hypnotherapy practitioners believe they can access unresolved issues from past lives, which have been manifesting as phobias, chronic pain or emotional mayhem in the present. By revisiting these past “experiences,” therapists claim individuals can gain insights that often lead to healing.

The water phobia I mentioned in the first paragraph is part of the case history of a client of Dr. Helen Wambach, a pioneer in the field of PLR. The client’s name is Sarah. She had struggled with a deep-seated fear of water her entire life. Traditional treatments had offered some relief but the issue was only resolved when she was hypnotically regressed

to a past life in which she experienced a dramatic drowning, every detail of which was vividly recalled. As she processed her emotions as she sank beneath the waves, her phobia began to dissipate. Over time, she made a full recovery and was even confident enough to learn to swim.

Another example involves Charles, who had always felt a strong, inexplicable connection to a particular European country. During a session with Carol Bowman, best known as the author of Children’s Past Lives, Charles regressed to a life as a stonemason in France centuries ago. He described his workshop, his family, and even spoke a few words of the local dialect. This experience gave him an

insight into his sense of belonging that he’d never felt before.

At first sight this kind of hypnotherapy may seem bizarre, but it does make sense because, once your conscious mind quietens down, aided by your hypnotic state, the subconscious—the keeper of your deeper truths—can surface memories, impressions or symbolic narratives that seem to come from another time, another identity, even another life.

Some practitioners and clients take these experiences at face value—as real memories of past incarnations. Others view them as metaphors crafted by the mind to explain current emotional patterns or trauma. But whichever interpretation you prefer, it’s hard to deny the effect is often transformative.

Think of the subconscious as a vast library holding not only the memories of our current lifetime but also, potentially, imprints from other existences. Somewhere inside this library may be a long-forgotten script influencing your present fears, talents, relationships, even your worldview. PLR helps you flip open these dusty volumes and, with the right guidance, gently rewrite the chapters playing out today.

So, what happens in a typical session? A skilled therapist begins by getting to know you—your concerns, recurring issues, emotional blocks. By the way, it’s crucial to approach any session with

realistic expectations and to work with a qualified and ethical practitioner. The therapist’s role is to guide and support, not to interpret or impose their own beliefs. Through calming language and imagery, they ease you into a state of deep focus—something like a waking dream. You’re not unconscious, but more aware than usual of subtle impressions, emotions or flashes of insight.

At this point, the therapist might ask open-ended questions: “Look at your feet—what are you wearing?” Or, “Where are you?” Or, “What emotions are you feeling?” The idea is to bypass logic and engage intuition. At this point, often clients find themselves describing people, places and events from another time with vivid clarity—right down to the clothes, smells, dialects and emotional undercurrents of the time.

Besides experiencing beneficial effects on their emotional or mental states, some people report improvements in physical symptoms, too. In one case, a woman with recurring neck pain relived a past life where she was hanged. Acknowledging the source of the pain allowed her body to release the trauma and the discomfort gradually faded.

The ultimate purpose of PLR is healing. Healing those unexplained phobias, chronic emotional blocks, or difficult relationships that could be rooted in unfinished business from another time. Or,

perhaps, deep-seated traumas inflicted in this life, especially in childhood, and then buried by the brain in an attempt to allow its host to function normally.

The jury of skeptics is still out. Critics argue that regression memories may be mere confabulations—stories created under hypnosis. And there’s always the risk of suggestion, which is why it’s vital to work with an experienced, ethical practitioner.

But even if the memories aren’t historically verifiable, does that matter?

As the renown psychiatrist Carl Jung might argue, the truth of a symbol doesn’t depend on its literal origin— it depends on its emotional and psychological resonance. If a past-life scene brings closure, insight or relief, its therapeutic value stands, regardless of whether it’s fact or metaphor.

So, whether we take past lives as literal or metaphorical, regression invites us to reconsider what we think we know about ourselves. It asks: What if the person I am today is part of a much bigger story—one that’s still being written?

One where understanding the old chapters might just guide me to write a different ending. Perhaps that’s the real gift of Past Life Regression. Not proving who we were—but empowering us to discover who we can become.

Author’s note: Registered past life therapists can be found here: https://www.regressionassociation.com/find-a-therapist

Anthony Talmage is author of five books in his Psychic Mind series: Dowse Your Way to Psychic Power, In Tune with the Infinite Mind, Unlock the Psychic Powers of Your Unconscious Mind, How to Crack the Cosmic Code and Mindfulness and the Pendulum, all available in Kindle, printed and audio versions from Amazon and all good online bookshops. Contact Anthony via facebook at: https://www.facebook.com/anthony.talmage.

How to live from a place of empowered stillness, peace and inner presence.

By Heather Smith and Yanni Charalambous

In the first two articles of this series, we gained an awareness of our Invisible Self—our Consciousness—and its omnipresence to increase awareness of who we really are and where we really are. This gave us clarity about what’s consistently here in the midst of all sensory appearances. In this month’s installment, we’ll explore how Joel Goldsmith’s mystical teachings and the wisdom of Ho’oponopono can help us live continuously from a place of inner harmony and deep-seated peace. Heather: Let’s recap what we’ve covered so far in our previous articles:

• Firstly, we gained an awareness of our invisible Inner Self, our Life Force.

• Then we established the realization of the omnipresence of our own Consciousness— I alone Am.

• We began adopting the practice of witnessing rather than reacting throughout the day, letting whatever arises come and then dissolve, moment by moment.

Now we’re going to take this a step further by learning how to be a continuous center of peace: I had an interesting discussion recently. Someone shared with me that they had really benefited from being able to ask questions about Joel Goldsmith and the Infinite Way on Chat GPT. They said it had helped them enormously when they were faced with a challenging situation with someone else in their life. Now, I too am utterly in awe of Artificial Intelligence, in much the same way as we were all in awe of the Internet when it first became available. How was it even possible that something of this magnitude could exist?! It is amazing. But I was very clear to point out during my conversation that Joel Goldsmith emphasized over and over that the Infinite

Way is an experience—it’s not something that can be understood intellectually. Right at the very start of his book Consciousness Unfolding, Joel wrote:

“To experience God unfolding as individual consciousness is the purpose of The Infinite Way. It is a revelation within your own being of your own being, an experience which takes place within you.”

If we can cognize something via the intellect or our senses, that’s not it because the senses don’t present to us that which is real. What’s real is the Soul—and that’s where true peace lies.

Last time, we touched on the awareness that those who appear to be “other” in our experience are in fact our own Consciousness in expression. There is no “other”; there’s only the one Mind, the one Life Force. This can be more easily understood, and perhaps also more readily embraced, when it comes to those with whom we feel in harmony, but can we live from this truth in our wider world?

To move in this direction, here are a few ways we can practice incorporating conscious awareness into our daily life:

• Establish inner peace by disciplining yourself to become more fully present in the moment.

You’re not so easily swayed by appearances because you’re watching, rather than reacting. Peace within then becomes external harmony. As we become more conscious of our thoughts and emotions, we realize we don’t have to believe them, and we can question whether they’re really true.

• Embrace the practice of being inwardly empty. (This means consciously seeing through the eyes of your invisible Soul). Maybe it will be only for short intervals at first but, with persistence, this gradually becomes easier, and you’re able to stay there for longer periods.

• Examine thoughts that draw you into the belief of a concrete personality by questioning, Who am “I”? You also can examine the illusion of “doing” rather than “being.” Very often, the mind resists the idea of non-doing, but the egoic mind—thoughts—just want something to “do.” So, you can discipline yourself instead to keep focused within and this stills racing thoughts.

• Realize why you chose peace with another: It’s because there’s only One Mind—your own Self, this vast field of Awareness, which is, in fact, an omnipresent aliveness of invisible activity beyond the veil of concepts and appearances. Resting in the conscious awareness of this enables transparency for Peace to flow through and express as your close relationships, community, nation and the whole world.

Yanni: Throughout this series, we’ve introduced the experience of the state of “Zero State Mind” which, in the ancient Hawaiian practice of Ho’oponopono, is the conduit of Peace. Ho’oponopono means “to correct the errors within”,

Dr. Heather Smith is the Founder of “Mystical Meditation,” an online platform used to share Joel Goldsmith’s work. She has been studying and practicing The Infinite Way teachings for over 30 years, and hosts spiritual talks, meditation groups and events online and in person, in London and America. Contact her via email at: mysticalmeditation@ yahoo.com. Find out more at: https://www.linktr.ee/mysticalmeditation

and it shows us how we can let go of attachments and reactions to negative thoughts about situations, people and places accumulated over eons of time. It was Dr. Hew Len who gave to the world the updated version of Ho’oponopono. If you remember, through his own inner work based on the teachings, he managed to heal an entire ward of mentally ill criminals by addressing the feelings and reactions that came up for him while reading their case notes, taking 100 percent responsibility for the collective conditioning and healing of those emotions within himself by using the four word mantra: “I am sorry, please forgive me, thank you, I love you.”

The aim of Ho’oponopono is chiefly to clear the mind, thereby establishing inner peace, balance within ourselves, and good relationships with others.

In this way, we return back to a “Zero” state of mind by listening within, so that we can be inspired with the right solution for whatever problem we want to resolve. If you’re experiencing difficulty remaining in a place of inner peace, I invite you to examine for yourself the power of addressing those thoughts and reactions by applying the Ho’oponopono mantra and then watching the results.

Heather: We mentioned one of the spiritual Wisdoms in Joel’s book, The Infinite Way, in our first session: “Consciousness lives itself; You do not live it”. Understanding all that we’ve shared here together over this series—gaining an awareness of our true self, witnessing and examining thoughts as they arise and our reactions—we can now let Spirit, Perfect Peace, function as us.

In conclusion, we encourage you to persist with your practice of mastering these disciplines. Rather than simply reading this article, see the results for yourself by adopting the practice of pausing at intervals throughout the day to become aware

of thoughts and emotions as they’re arising; use Ho’oponopono to bring you back to “Zero State” if thoughts are overpowering; and simply witness from a place of Inner Stillness. Practiced on a daily basis, you will find this radically changes your life.

W HO IS IN YOUR W HO IS IN YOUR

Who is in Your Corner?

YOUR CORNER? YOUR CORNER?

By Darrell Hammon

Boxers often win or lose based on who is in their corners, offering advice, admonishing them forward, encouraging them, pointing out the flaws that they cannot see.

We must ask ourselves “Who is in our corner?”

I suspect we have had several along the way— our elementary teachers whom most of us remember fondly, a few junior and high school teachers, perhaps our church leaders growing up, and others within our spheres of influence.

Yet, we sometimes hesitate, resist, even side step, keeping someone in our corners.

Many would like to be. Others seek to be. More who should be.

We just need to choose wisely, allow them to watch us up close or a far, allow them to share tidbits of wisdom, love, encouragement, and sometimes words that might anger us or propel us forward. What we must remember is it is our corner, and we can choose— we must choose—those who can stand as sentinels, waiting patiently for us to sit in their chairs, within their influence, listening to their whisperings they have for us, saved for us, and let them sink deeply into our hearts and minds.

Darrel L. Hammon has been dabbling in writing in a variety of genres since his college days, having published poetry, academic and personal articles/essays, a book titled Completing Graduate School Long Distance (Sage Publications), and a picture book, The Adventures of Bob the Bullfrog: Christmas Beneath a Frozen Lake (Outskirts Press). He also was the editor of the Journal of Adult Education (Mountain Plains Adult Education Association). Most of his essay/article writing has focused on topics about growing up, leadership, self-awareness, motivation, marriage/dating, and educational topics. Some of these articles/essays are in Spanish because Darrel is bilingual in Spanish/English, having lived in Chile, Dominican Republic, and southern California, and having worked with Latino youth and families all of his professional life in higher education. He has two blogs, one for personal writing at http://www.darrelhammon.blogspot.com/ and one for his consulting/life coaching business (http://www.hammonconsults.blogspot.com/).

True courage is being scared and charging into the darkness anyway.

By Linda Commito

CBS Sunday Morning is the “news” I try never to miss, as it always has something that helps me to feel positive about this crazy world of ours. As usual, it was well worth getting up for to watch the inspiring and sweet story by Steve Hartman about a 3-yearold boy, whose motto has become, “Don’t be Afraid!”

It began when little Bridger was staying overnight with his grandmother. It was dark when they were about to walk into the house. His grandma, Sharon, tripped on the concrete step, hitting her head and bleeding. She couldn’t get up, nor call for help. Neighbors were out of earshot, even though little Bridger

tried calling out, “NEIGHBORS” in his loudest 3-year-old voice. Sharon realized that she didn’t have her cell phone, having left it in the car a little distance away. Bridger was her only hope, but he was terrified of the dark and had never even opened a car door on his own.

Bravely, Bridger kept telling himself, “DON’T BE AFRAID!” as he slowly walked down the driveway and reached the car, somehow managing to open the door to find the phone inside. He then walked back in the dark to his grandma, where she was able to call for the help that she needed.

In the interview later, Bridger was asked if he was a little afraid, and he said, “I was A LOT AFRAID!” but he did it anyways. And now his whole family has

been inspired by his bravery. In fact, his mom, has decided to perform her own act of bravery by getting her special education license. And she now has a tattoo on her arm, “DON’T BE AFRAID!”

Perhaps we can each find a way to be strong when we are scared. True courage is being scared and charging into the darkness anyway.

Have you ever had a frightening experience that tested you and brought out your courage?

It reminded me of a time in my life when I was afraid to be at my Colorado cabin in the mountains alone. I had been unpacking my belongings, opening the cabin for the season, and it was late. I noticed that the clock had stopped, so I climbed on a chair to get it down, when

the chair flipped one way and I went the other, landing on my back with a loud crack. I thought about going to sleep and calling someone in the morning, but I worried, “What if I don’t wake up?”

I felt the break protruding from my collar bone and didn’t know what to do. I could try to call, NEIGHBORS!!! as Bridger had done, but they wouldn’t hear me. Luckily, I had a land line nearby and could reach it to call my elderly neighbor,

Paul, who came over. He then contacted another neighbor, a nurse, who said, “You need to get to the ER!” and drove me down the darkened mountain roads.

Around midnight in the ER, I called Francesco—a fairly new relationship—but several states away. I said, “I’ve never needed anyone as much as I do now.” And although the original plan was for him to come out for two weeks to visit, it ended up being almost 3 months

(because I learned that I also had a flooded condo to deal with in another town). But all dark clouds have a silver lining, and in this case, it was a rainbow lining. We got to know each other well and have not been apart since . . . many years later!

So don’t be afraid to take the next step, to open your heart, or ask for help, or try something new . . . You’ve got nothing to lose and so much to gain . . . starting with confidence, hope and love.

Love is the New Currency

with Linda Commito

Linda Commito, author, speaker, entrepreneur, consultant and teacher, is passionate about her vision to leave this world a kinder, more loving, and interconnected place. Linda’s award-winning book of inspirational stories, Love Is the New Currency, demonstrates how we can each make an extraordinary difference in the lives of others through simple acts of love and kindness. Her latest project, the card game Just Ask 1 2 3, was inspired by a desire to connect people of all different ages, beliefs and lifestyles to share our individuality and find commonality. Linda also created “Kindness Starts with Me,” a program, book and website for children. For more information visit http://www.LoveistheNewCurrency.com or visit the Facebook page http://www.facebook.com/Justask123game

Photo by Albert Dehon on Unsplash.

Understanding dark personalities and protecting your well-being.

By Nicole Shir

Understanding the darker side of personality can be a game-changer in a world where relationships shape our sense of belonging and identity. For years, my research has delved into the intricate connections between personality, love and our innate need for acceptance. This journey has illuminated a vital truth: While the presence of dark personalities in our lives can be deeply painful, comprehending their impact offers protection and the potential for profound healing.

WHAT ARE DARK PERSONALITIES?

The term “dark personalities” refers to individuals whose traits are characterized by manipulation, lack of empathy and toxic behavior patterns. These traits are often associated with psychological frameworks like the “Dark Triad,” which encompasses narcissism, Machiavellianism and psychopathy. While these behaviors vary in intensity, their consequences are universally damaging— they disrupt trust, erode self-esteem, and sow seeds of confusion in their wake.

THE ANATOMY OF TOXICITY: RECOGNIZING THE CONNECTION

One of the most crucial aspects of understanding toxic dynamics lies in recognizing how dark personalities exploit our inherent need for belonging. Belonging is a fundamental human requirement—every individual seeks acceptance, connection and validation in their relationships.

Dark personalities use this universal need as a point of entry. They craft connections that feel familiar, using personality models and behavioral patterns that align with our understanding of belonging. This familiarity often stems from narratives—the stories we tell ourselves and others about who we are and what we value.

Narratives are deeply ingrained in our identity, shaping how we connect with others and perceive our worth. Toxic individuals use these narratives to their advantage, creating an illusion of shared understanding or mirroring familiar patterns that feel comforting, even if they are ultimately harmful.

When we lack awareness of how these narratives operate or the ways they shape our emotional needs, it leaves us vulnerable to manipulation. Understanding how we navigate our own emotional and relational needs— and how these needs align with our narratives—is key to identifying toxic patterns and protecting ourselves. This self-awareness offers a robust defense, allowing us to set boundaries and recognize when someone is tapping into our vulnerabilities for their gain.

HEALING THROUGH AWARENESS

For years, I have studied how personality influences our experience of love and belonging. One of the

most transformative lessons I’ve learned is that selfawareness is a powerful antidote to the harm inflicted by dark personalities. When we understand how our needs and narratives make us susceptible to toxicity, we can rewrite the script, strengthening our resilience and re-establishing healthy relationship patterns.

Once individuals become aware of these dynamics, applying well-established healing modalities can further enhance their journey toward recovery. Coaches often use methods such as Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), or other therapeutic approaches to help clients release emotional distress and rebuild their sense of self. These modalities, paired with a deeper understanding of connection and vulnerability, provide effective pathways to healing.

Understanding these dynamics offers more than just protection—it’s a path to healing. By addressing the emotional scars left by dark personalities, we regain agency over our lives and rediscover our capacity for joy.

EMBRACE THE POWER OF KNOWLEDGE

Understanding dark personalities isn’t about fostering fear—it’s about reclaiming your power. By shedding light on toxicity and its pathways, we equip ourselves with the means to protect what matters most: our emotional well-being, relationships and sense of self. Healing is not just possible—it’s transformative. With the right tools and insights, we can transcend the impact of dark personalities and build a future defined by resilience, love, and genuine belonging.

Nicole Shir is the founder of The Needs Languages, a practice that bridges the gap between academic insights and actionable strategies. By unraveling the complex interplay of personality, toxicity and human connection, her firm provides tools that empower individuals to protect themselves and thrive. Nicole currently offers several training programs and she is writing a book that examines dark personalities. Nicole completed her undergraduate degree minoring in business and conflict resolution and completed her master’s in industrial organizational psychology. Since then, she has written four books and worked with The American Psychological Association (APA) on a diversity training manual addressing how different races, women and LGBTQ+ individuals view disabilities. Find out more about her books at https://www.Amazon.com.

Deck

Before my career path in coaching began almost a decade ago, my background was in information technology and business. For me, the journey into life coaching developed the skills not only to help clients navigate mental challenges, but also to advocate for myself more effectively than I had done in the corporate world.

Since completing my Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) certifications, no training has ignited my passion for growth like the Future Self Life Coach Certification from Transformation Academy. I’ve become obsessed with it. It has changed the way I look at goals. Instead of struggling through tasks to become who I want to be, I now become who I want to be and then work through that lens. What a game changer!

However, during this process I’ve suffered from the inability to see through my mind’s eye—and visualization is a critical skill that helps us embody our “Future Self.” So, what happens if you are a coach with visualization challenges? Can you learn how to visualize, or does it limit your ability to do guided imagery exercises with your clients?

THE MOMENT I REALIZED I WASN’T VISUALIZING

Over a decade ago, I started trauma therapy. The therapist I had been seeing thought that I was at a point where I was ready to deal with some deep-rooted issues, so she referred me to a colleague. Trauma therapy quickly became disorienting, leaving me feeling lost, vulnerable, and even too embarrassed to walk through the front lobby after a session. To help me ground myself, my trauma therapist started using visualization techniques after each session. She’d walk me through different scenes, like the beach or a stroll in the park, and ask me what I saw. I answered based on things you would typically see in those places, such as a beautiful bird soaring through the sky or a beach filled with sandcastles and seashells.

One day after a session, I casually asked her, “By the way…am I supposed to actually see something during visualization?” She looked at me, puzzled, and said, “Yes. So, what have you been describing to me, Jowanna?”

I replied, “I just described things that I would see if I were on the beach or in the park. You mean I’m supposed to see something?” I felt confused and embarrassed. Of course, visualization meant seeing.

I was not visualizing, imagining or daydreaming. It was nothing but logic at work.

MY VISUALIZATION BREAKTHROUGH

I wanted to know if I could ever visualize. After that point, my therapist would end the sessions, helping me practice visualization. She assured me that I could learn. She started walking me through pleasant memories I had. My favorite memory of my mother is one where I can “see” myself sitting in the front seat of my stepfather’s blue Thunderbird, with my head resting on my mother’s shoulder. I could feel how safe

and loved it felt. I could envision the sweat on my face and the humming of the car.

The breakthrough moment came one day when I recalled my plane ride moving from Panama to the United States at 7 year old. This scene was so clear I felt I was there. I could feel the rumbling of the airplane and see the aisle and the space around me. It startled me how real and vivid the scene was.

These exercises were rewarding. However, they took a lot of effort and often left me feeling mentally drained and sometimes with a headache.

Eventually, I worked through the most intense parts of my trauma, and I no longer needed grounding before I left my session. Over time, I stopped practicing on my own, but now, as a Future Self coach, I’m committed to making visualization a regular part of my life.

WHAT IS VISUALIZATION?

Let’s talk about what visualization actually is. Many people assume visualization is only about seeing a mental picture, like a movie playing in your mind. But visualization is much broader than that. It’s about forming a sensory experience in your imagination. For some, that includes vivid images. For others, it might be sounds, physical sensations, temperature, movement or even a strong emotional tone. Sometimes, it’s a blend of all those things. Sometimes, it’s subtle and quiet.

Visualization can come in different forms:

• Mental imagery. This is what most people think of first: visual scenes, shapes, colors, or symbolic images that form in your mind’s eye.

• Multisensory imagination. This encompasses the senses of sound, texture, smell, temperature and movement. For example, feeling the sun on your face or hearing leaves crunching under your feet in a guided nature walk.

• Embodied perspective. Instead of watching the scene from the outside, you experience it as if you’re inside it, looking through your own eyes.

Here’s the understanding that made the biggest difference for me: Visualization isn’t just something some people are naturally good at. It’s a skill. It can be developed, even if you start with nothing but logic, like I did. Whether it begins with memories or imagined scenes, the goal is to engage your senses and create a lived experience in your mind. Like physical movement, emotional regulation or goal setting—visualization takes practice.

WHY SOME PEOPLE STRUGGLE WITH VISUALIZATION

If visualization is a skill, why does it come easily to some people and feel out of reach for others? The answer lies in a combination of how your brain is wired, how your body protects itself, and what your life experiences have taught you to access or avoid. Here are some common reasons visualization may feel difficult, and the science behind them:

Aphantasia: When the Mind’s Eye is Blank. Some people have a condition called aphantasia, which means they

can’t create mental images at all. They know what something looks like, but when they close their eyes and try to picture it, nothing comes. It’s estimated that 1 to 5 percent of people have this condition, and it often goes unnoticed until they realize others can actually see things in their minds.¹

Trauma and Sensory Disconnection. Trauma can also disrupt your ability to access mental images. When you’ve experienced overwhelming or unsafe events, your body sometimes disconnects you from sensory experiences to cope. Research shows that people with PTSD often have trouble forming or controlling visual imagery, especially when it’s tied to memory.² In my case, trauma therapy helped me to begin reconnecting with internal imagery, but it took time.

Brain Lateralization and Processing Style. Visualization often engages areas in the right hemisphere of the brain, particularly those associated with spatial and sensory awareness. If you’re more dominant in left-brain processing (verbal, analytical, sequential), visualization might not feel natural at first. That doesn’t mean you can’t develop the skill. It just means your access point might be different.³

THE POWER OF NEUROPLASTICITY

Here’s the good news: Your brain can change. Neuroplasticity means your brain is always adapting—creating new pathways when you practice new skills. Research shows that even mentally rehearsing an action can strengthen the same areas of the brain as actually performing that action.⁴ Visualization is no different. The more you practice accessing mental

imagery through memory, movement, or even sound, the more your brain begins to make that process easier.

WHY IT’S STILL WORTH IT— EVEN IF YOU STRUGGLE

Let me be clear: struggling with visualization doesn’t disqualify you from using it as a coach. In fact, your experience can make you even more effective at guiding others, especially clients who think, “I can’t do this.”

When I first realized I wasn’t visualizing, I felt embarrassed. But over time, I learned that my ability to describe scenes logically was still useful. It meant I understood the structure and language of guided imagery—even if the internal visuals weren’t there yet. That awareness helped me guide others with compassion, patience and realism.

Visualization isn’t about perfection; it’s about connection. Even if you can’t “see” in your mind, you can:

• Use your voice to walk clients through sensory-rich scripts.

• Ask reflective questions that engage their imagination.

• Help them connect emotionally to what they want to experience.

In doing so, you create the container, and they fill in the rest.

Additionally, your progress becomes an integral part of your coaching. The fact that I’ve been developing this skill slowly, piece by piece, reminds my clients that growth is always possible. You don’t have to arrive—you just need to keep practicing. So yes, it’s still worth it. Your clients don’t need you to be perfect. They need you to be present.

PRACTICAL TIPS TO STRENGTHEN VISUALIZATION

Visualization is a skill and, like any skill, it improves with regular, gentle practice. If you’ve struggled with it (like I have), the key is to approach it with patience, curiosity and a willingness to start small. Here are some practical ways to build your visualization muscle, one sense at a time:

1) Practice Regularly, but Briefly. Commit to short, consistent practice sessions. Five to 10 minutes a few times a week can go a long way. Think of it like strength training for your imagination—repetition builds the pathway.

2) Start with a Single Sense. If “seeing” feels hard, begin by focusing on just one sense. Try to hear the ocean. Try to feel the warmth of sunlight. Starting with what comes easiest allows your brain to begin engaging without pressure.

3) Use Guided Imagery. Listen to guided visualization recordings or read from a script. Let someone else’s words spark your internal experience. If you’re a coach, record your own script and play it back, and you’ll get to be both teacher and student.

4) Meditate to get Quiet. Meditation helps settle the mind, making space for imagination to emerge. Even a few minutes of silence or breath-focused meditation can help you tune in more clearly when it’s time to visualize.

5) Visualize a “Happy Place”. Choose one safe, joyful scene that you return to often. This becomes your home base—easy to access, comforting to visit. Over time, your brain will learn to deepen the detail and emotional connection to it.

6) Use First-Person Perspective. Rather than imagining yourself from the outside (like watching a movie), picture scenes as if you’re experiencing them through your own eyes. This makes the experience more embodied and often more vivid.

7) Be Kind to Yourself. This one is big. Visualization isn’t a contest. There’s no prize for doing it perfectly. Treat each practice session as a win, whether you “see” something or not. Your consistency is the key to success.

KEEP PRACTICING, KEEP GROWING

If you’re a coach who struggles with visualization, you are not alone. You are not broken. I’m living proof that the ability to guide others doesn’t depend on doing it perfectly yourself. What matters is your willingness to explore, to be honest about your journey, and to keep showing up.

For years, I didn’t realize that I wasn’t visualizing. I was describing what I thought I was supposed to see. Once I understood that, everything shifted. I learned that visualization is a skill that can be developed over time. As a Future Self coach, I believe in embodying the tools I teach. That’s why I’m committing to one hour each week to strengthening my visualization practice. Not just when I’m coaching or setting goals, but as a regular part of how I connect to my future self and who I’m becoming.

Whether you see clear images, sense subtle impressions, or are still figuring it out, your effort matters. You are building a skill that helps you embody possibility. That’s a gift worth giving to both you and your clients.

Keep practicing. Keep imagining. Keep becoming.

References

1) Zeman, A., Dewar, M., & Della Sala, S. (2015). Lives without imagery—Congenital aphantasia. Cortex, 73, 378–380.

2) Holmes, E. A., Grey, N., & Young, K. A. D. (2005). Intrusive images and “hotspots” of trauma memories in posttraumatic stress disorder: An exploratory investigation of emotions and cognitive themes. Journal of Behavior Therapy and Experimental Psychiatry, 36(1), 3–17.

3) Kosslyn, S. M., Thompson, W. L., & Alpert, N. M. (1995). Neural systems shared by visual imagery and visual perception: A positron emission tomography study. NeuroImage, 2(4), 320–335.

4) Pascual-Leone, A., et al. (2005). The plastic human brain cortex. Annual Review of Neuroscience, 28, 377–401.

The Daley Word

with Jowanna Daley

Jowanna is a business and personal coach, consultant, freelance blogger, and personal brand photographer. Jowanna uses her 20-plus years of business, information technology, business analysis, and project management experience to serve solopreneurs, microbusinesses, and professionals through consulting, coaching, training, and workshops. She is also a freelance blogger who serves corporate and non-corporate clients. Visit her website at https://www.jowannadaley.com/about/

Deck

A life coaching perspective on how to handle the “cold shoulder” and one-sided conversations.

By Stéphane Narcis

Recently, I went to a coffee shop to focus on writing articles about body language. While typing, I noticed an acquaintance I hadn’t seen in years. I could tell he recognized me but deliberately decided to ignore me.

How did it make me feel? Honestly, at first, I wasn’t sure. Then I realized that I’ve grown into a place where I know it’s not my issue—it’s theirs.

This experience made me reflect on those awkward situations where people you know pretend not to see you or encounters with those who interrogate you with questions about your life but reveal nothing about themselves in return. How should you deal with these situations? Here are my suggestions:

• Set clear boundaries: If someone doesn’t value your presence? Well, that’s on them. You don’t need to stick around. Move on and make space for people who care.

• Protect your energy: Your time and energy are precious. Why waste them on people who don’t appreciate your company? You wouldn’t pour water a broken vase, so why pour your heart into a one-sided relationship?

• Boost your self-confidence: You’re fantastic and shouldn’t let anyone make you feel otherwise. People who behave rudely or give you the cold shoulder? Don’t let them define you.

Over the years, I’ve been ignored many times. It started when old school friends learned I had moved to England to study and work. When I returned to Reunion Island, the people curious about my life from afar acted as if I were invisible up close. I must be honest: At first, I felt terrible. I was so excited to reconnect, but my “school friends” ignored me or pretended not to know me.

From a life coaching perspective, what should you do when someone ignores you? It is essential to:

• Recognize that it’s not about you. When someone shies away, it reflects their insecurities, not their worth.

• Stay grounded in your self-worth. Don’t let this shake your confidence. You’re better than that.

• Practice detachment. Don’t take it personally. This will keep your peace of mind intact.

What about the interrogators? Have you ever experienced one-sided conversations where someone asks you questions such as:

• “Where are you now?”

• “What do you do?”

• “Are you married?”

• “Do you have any children?”

• “Why did you decide to [fill in the blank]?

But then you notice they aren’t sharing anything about themselves. You are being interviewed, not conversing! When you find yourself in a one-sided conversation:

• Set boundaries. Keep your answers short and redirect the conversation.

• Ask reciprocal questions. If they avoid sharing, let the conversation naturally end.

• Use your intuition. If it feels like an interrogation, you don’t need to share your story.

Life Coaching Tip: Life coaching teaches us that energy exchange should be balanced. Healthy relationships are built on mutual interest, respect and openness. If these elements aren’t present, it’s okay to withdraw your energy.

NEXT STEPS

When it comes to building confidence and protecting energy, I have some simple strategies to create distance and maintain self-respect:

1) When Receiving the “Cold Shoulder” Treatment:

• Don’t push for engagement.

• Don’t overextend in relationships where you are not valued.

• Stay true to your values and only invest in authentic connections.

Life Coaching Tip: You are not responsible for how others perceive you. What matters is how you perceive yourself based on your integrity.

2) When Managing One-Sided Conversations

• Maintain control of the conversation. If the energy is off, redirect or end it and say, “Sorry, I need to go now.”

• Don’t be afraid to say, “I don’t feel ‘a connection here’ if the conversation feels forced.

Life Coaching Tip: You can say “no” to conversations, invitations or interactions that do not serve your well-being.

3) When Protecting Your Energy

• Convey clear boundaries. For example, you might sit at work with earphones on, focused on projects.

• Set expectations early. Tell people, “I need my space.” Or, “I require alone time to recharge.”

• Get comfortable saying “no.” It’s a simple” but powerful word in maintaining healthy relationships.

Life Coaching Tip: When you feel your energy drained, imagine a protective bubble around you. Visualize negativity bouncing off, keeping your inner peace intact.

When Embracing Your Truth

• Have honesty and self-respect. People may find this intimidating, but it is important to live with integrity.

• Be direct. It’s fine to take a bold stance when you encounter manipulation or interrogation. Say directly: “I don’t have time for this now.”

Life Coaching Tip: Authenticity is a magnet for healthy people. Those who are meant to be in your life will respect your boundaries, not challenge them. Invest your time in mutual, balanced relationships with those who make you feel seen, heard and valued.

BUILD YOUR CONFIDENCE

Here are two life coaching exercises to build your confidence in dealing with difficult people.

1) The Mirror Exercise: Every morning, look into the mirror and say:

“I am worthy of genuine connections. I only attract people who respect my energy.”

2) The Energy Audit: At the end of each week, reflect on:

• Who energised you?

• Who drained you?

• What boundaries can you set to improve next week?

Don’t invest your energy in people who make you feel invisible. You deserve to be surrounded by those who bring joy, balance and authenticity into your life.

The more we respect ourselves, the more we teach others how to treat us. Real connections are about mutual respect, openness and authenticity—and you deserve nothing less.

Stéphane Narcis DProfQAHE, PhD, Dr. h.c. is a distinguished academic, researcher and educator specializing in film studies, intercultural communication and psychological analysis. His work focuses on media representation, nonverbal communication and narcissistic personality disorder. Holding a PhD in Film Studies, and aDoctor of Letters & PostDoctor of Letters (DLitt & PDLitt), he has received multiple awards for his academic contributions.

As a certified expert in body language and lie detection, he provides professional training to leaders and educators. His research has gained international recognition, offering insights into toxic relationship dynamics, workplace conflicts and societal structures. Stéphane aims to bridge academic research with real-world application, empowering individuals through education, cultural awareness, and psychological resilience. Connect with Stéphane: https://www. instagram.com/stephane_narcis

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COMMUNICATION COMMUNICATION

Understanding the NLP meta model and mental misfires.

By David Murphy, Ph.D., CHt

NLP, or Neuro-Linguistic Programming, is an approach to communication, personal development and psychotherapy that first appeared in Richard Bandler and John Grinder’s 1975 book The Structure of Magic I. NLP asserts that there is a connection between neurological processes, language and acquired behavioral patterns, and that these can be changed to achieve specific goals in life.

The meta model is part of traditional NLP. It postulates that people respond to events based on their internal representations (pictures, sounds and feelings) from past

experiences. These experiences are stored in the mind in groups or categories that are labeled with words1 Note that the richer your vocabulary, the finer your storage of experiences and their attributes can be. The metamodel explains how to go from the information-poor word maps back to the specific sensory-based experiences they are based on.

The meta model draws on the work of the American linguist, Noam Chomsky. I think that his most notable work is Aspects of the Theory of Syntax. In this book, he put forward the idea that language is a uniquely human, biologically based cognitive capacity. He contributed to linguistics

and related fields, including cognitive psychology and the philosophies of mind and language and helped to initiate and sustain what came to be known as the “cognitive revolution.” Later in life he became more well known as a social activist. So let’s take a look at what all that means. My interest, well one of them, is in improving communication. What you say or write isn’t as important as how the message is received and understood by the recipient. Unfortunately, what we think that we said or wrote is often not what the recipient understood. Communication is filtered by the mind. I have tried to illustrate this in the Figure 1.

1 The average English speaker has a vocabulary of 20,000 to 35,000 words according at: https://wordcounter.io/blog/how-many-words-does-theaverage-person-know#:~:text=The%20study%20(which%20was%20based,growth%20stops%20at%20middle%20age. The Oxford English Dictionary contains 171,476 words that are in common use. We all might need to learn a few more words. Words are the tools that we use to think and a richer vocabulary leads to richer or more precise thoughts.

FIGURE 1

Information Decoding and Storage

What I want to show you is how we can overcome mental misfires and use words to uncover lost sensory experiences, to get at what someone was really trying to communicate. In addition, if you understand the mental/communication misfires then you can prevent them when you communicate. In the section below I provide a few examples of mental misfires and questions that could be used to get to the heart of the communication. There are three broad categories of communication misfires: distortions, generalizations, and deletions. In this short article we will focus on distortions.

DISTORTIONS

Distortions, in NLP, refer to misrepresentations of reality that occur when we alter sensory data or internal representations of information. This can involve changing the meaning of information to fit personal beliefs or expectations, essentially creating a distorted perception of reality. Mind reading is a common distortion. Someone seems to have the ability to read others’ minds and draw a conclusion based on their magic ability. In essence, they claim to know someone else’s internal state. For example, some might say, “You don’t like me.” A good NLP response would be, “How do you know I don’t like you?” This response is used to recover the source of the apparent information.

Another distortion is a lost performative. This occurs when a person claims that a judgment was made, but the person who made the judgment is left out and is usually not identified. For example, they assert, “It’s bad to be inconsistent.” An appropriate NLPinformed response might take the form of, “Who says it’s bad?”, or “According to whom?”, or “How do you know it’s bad?” Again, these responses gather evidence and recover the source of the belief. As an aside, note that I didn’t include a “Why?” question. Why questions are usually uninformative.

An effect with an external cause is a third type of distortion. In this case, the cause that resulted in an effect is wrongly put outside the self. This is similar to the fundamental attribution error in attribution theory. For example: “You make me sad.” Obviously, I can’t force you to be sad, being sad results from choosing an emotional state or response. An NLP response to the statement might be something like, “How does what I’m doing cause you to choose to feel sad?” or, “How Specifically?” Note that the first response correctly attributes the feeling of being sad back on the person’s emotional state choice. The response seeks to recover the choice and also reassign the emotional feeling to its originator. A complex equivalence occurs when two experiences are interpreted as being synonymous. This is similar to

cause and effect, but in a cause and effect model the cause happens first, followed by an effect. In a complex equivalence the two conditions occur simultaneously and have been mentally linked together. For example, someone says, “She’s always shouting at me, she doesn’t like me.” or “The boss closed her door, so he is mad.” Good NLP responses might be, “How does her yelling mean that she…?”, or “Have you ever shouted at someone you liked?” Or, for the second case, “How does shutting the door mean that the boss is mad?” or “Have you ever shut the door to enjoy some happy alone time?” The objective is to unlink the two potentially unrelated states. The boss shutting the door is one state. The boss being mad is a second state. Finally, there are meta model presuppositions, and these are different from the NLP presuppositions. A meta model presupposition is an assumption that was made before any evidence was gathered or presented. A presupposition requires that an assumption be taken for granted as being true. For example, if I were to tell you that my wife is pregnant then you would probably presuppose that I do in fact have a wife without any proof or foreknowledge of her existence. Here is another example. Someone blurts out, “If my partner knew how much I suffered, they wouldn’t do that.” There are three presuppositions in this

sentence: (1) I suffer, (2) my partner acts in some way, and (3) my partner doesn’t know I suffer.

NLP responses could be: (1)

“How do you choose to suffer?” (2)

“How are they (re)acting? (3) “How do you know they don’t know?” These

responses focus on identifying or specifying the choice, the verb, and what they do, and they seek to recover the internal representation and the complex equivalence in the speaker’s mind. This just scratches the meta model surface; however, I hope that it

is enough to help you and your coaching clients communicate more clearly and detect when others are not doing so. This might also pique your interest in NLP or our cognitive processes. In my next article, I will explore meta model generalizations and deletions.

Dr. David Murphy, Ph.D., recently retired from the College of Business at the University of Lynchburg, where he had taught for 22 years and served as the chair of the accounting department for 15 years and as the director of the MBA program for 5 years. He is also known as Keisho Ananda / Dhammacakkhu Ananda, an ordained Sensei (Anagarika) or Dhamma Teacher, and Samana or Monk in the Hongaku Jōdo Compassionate Lotus Tradition, and a member of the Hongaku Peacemaker Sangha. He is an active dharma and mindfulness teacher and is a Transformation Academy Certified Mindfulness Life Coach. He can be reached via email at: davemurphyphd@gmail.com.

Photo by Tim Mossholder on Unsplash

Individuals come together, entangled by shared values and beliefs, regardless of the contrasts they experience in life.

By Jo Mooy

Who are “we”? In the United States, “We the people” are the first three words of the Constitution, which initially meant the male citizens of the 13 original states. The word “we” is not singular. It always means more than one. Besides many, it also can mean a whole group that believes a certain way. If you are outside the group, you’re not part of the “we.” Even if someone lets you into the group, it takes time for the majority to see if you fit into their ideas before you can call yourself part of the “we.”

For example, in the U.S. Constitution, “we” lays out wide aspirations. When you read it, it begs the questions: Are “we” seeking common ground? Do “we” subscribe to what was written on the parchment as a guiding directive? Do “we” identify with the words? Do “we” see a harmonious way of being? Perhaps the answers depend on which group of “we” you belong to because clearly the truths “we” hold to be self-evident are not the truths other groups of “we” hold.

Competing factions of “we” often are hell-bent on tearing the fabric of respect, dignity and unity into shreds. “We” even can disagree on what “we” means. And many groups of “we” have devolved into “us vs. them”, with each “we” claiming to be the “good guys.”

The implied unity of “we” doesn’t exist in competition—it exists in cooperation. So, who holds the ultimate authority to declare who “we” are and what “we” stand for in the opposing factions? “We” is nothing more than a bunch of individuals who have come together. Though these people form a communal “we”, each “I” is unto itself sovereign. “I” may, but not always, have certain values, a moral compass, a belief system, and maybe even a world view.

Another “I” also has values, a moral compass, beliefs, and perhaps even a polar opposite world view.

But when sovereign individuals become part of “we”, those ideas may get swept aside and swallowed up in the collective beliefs.

Someone may change their views and beliefs over time—change being the natural order of how things work in this universe. Some may cross over to the other side and vice versa. But there’s also balance in the universe and, while an “I” may strive wholeheartedly for equilibrium, contrasting and opposing views propel the change process forward. Without contrast there is no swing of the pendulum into action or reaction.

THE MYSTIC VIEW

For thousands of years, mystics have taught “we” are a single consciousness appearing as millions of individuals. Everyone is a unit having greater or lesser degrees of awareness. Why that is has many intriguing answers beyond the scope of this article. Yet each individual progresses on a chosen path while the single consciousness hums quietly in the background. It remains there until the day it lights up and changes the individual’s trajectory.

Quantum mechanics alludes to the same oneness of consciousness. It states the very essence of matter is more fluid and interconnected than classical physics would imply. This blurs the lines between distinct objects, suggesting that “separate” entities are, at some fundamental level, part of a broader, unified whole. It goes even further in proposing who “we” are. One of the most striking features of quantum mechanics is entanglement, where two or more particles become linked. This is the state where one influences the state of the other, no matter how far apart they are. Entanglement challenges the traditional understanding of separateness in space and time. Entangled particles act as if they are part of a larger, unified system.

This interdependence suggests everything may be fundamentally interconnected in ways that transcend space and time.

Who are “we”? Groups linked by individuals who, whether “I” know it or not, are part of a whole oneness. “We” come together, entangled by shared values and beliefs, while trying to do our best in life regardless

of the contrasts “we” experience. What’s best? That remains to be seen. But I believe there’s an overriding force governing all permutations and, at the end of the day, the Universe is unfolding as it should and all will be well, despite the outward appearances.

“I” hope “we” will all get to that entangled realization sooner rather than later.

Conscious Living with Jo Mooy

Jo Mooy has studied with many spiritual traditions over the past 40 years. The wide diversity of this training allows her to develop spiritual seminars and retreats that explore inspirational concepts, give purpose and guidance to students, and present esoteric teachings in an understandable manner. Along with Patricia Cockerill, she has guided the Women’s Meditation Circle since January 2006 where it has been honored for five years in a row as the “Favorite Meditation” group in Sarasota, FL, by Natural Awakenings Magazine. Teaching and using Sound as a retreat healing practice, Jo was certified as a Sound Healer through Jonathan Goldman’s Sound Healing Association. She writes and publishes a monthly internationally distributed e-newsletter called Spiritual Connections and is a staff writer for Spirit of Maat magazine in Sedona. For more information go to http://www.starsoundings.com or email jomooy@gmail.com

Photo by Helena Lopes on Unsplash.