Page 1

w w w . t o d a y s f a m i l y m a g . c o m

J u n e / J u l y

2 0 1 1



Volume 20 • Number 4 PUBLISHER

june july 2011

Cathy S. Zion







Cheryl Suhr account executives

Rose Helm

Teri Hickerson SENIOR graphic Designer

April H. Allman photographer

Melissa Donald


production coordinator




Jessica Powell


Jessica Smith

Published bi-monthly by: Zion Publications LLC 9750 Ormsby Station Road, Suite 307 Louisville, KY 40223 Phone (502) 327-8855 Fax (502) 327-8861

4 Beautiful Baby Winner

Subscriptions are available by sending $15 to the above address for 6 bi-monthly issues.

6 Try It! Ice Cream Challenge 8 Beautiful Baby Winners 10 Welcome to Parenthood, Louisville Style By By Carrie Vittitoe, Megan Seckman, Angela Hagan, David Stephens, Stacie Martin, Kristina Harrigan, Mali Anderson

16 Eat Everything on Your Plate 18 All I Want is a Healthy Baby By Nadyne Lee

22 A New Mother’s Story: Part 4 in a series By Laura Clark

24 Play Groups: The Power of Community By Sandi Haustein

28 Constructing a Written Parenting Plan By Veda Pendleton McClain, Ph.D.

32 How to Send Our Kids to College

Today’s Family magazine is published bi-monthly by Zion Publications LLC and distributed free to the people of metropolitan Louisville and Southern Indiana. Circulation 33,000. The opinions expressed herein are exclusively those of the writers and do not necessarily reflect the position of the publisher. Today’s Family magazine does not endorse or guarantee any advertiser’s product or service. Copyright 2011 by Zion Publications LLC with all rights reserved. Reproduction or use of editorial or graphic content in any manner is prohibited without permission from Zion Publications LLC. MEMBER Greater Louisville, Inc., Metro Chamber of Commerce, Area Chambers of Commerce, Better Business Bureau.

By Yelena Sapin

36 Calendar 40 Inside the Playgroup By Kristina Harrigan BBB Rating of

For advertising information, call (502) 327-8855 or email

w w w . t o d a y s f a m i l y m a g . c o m

J u n e / J u l y

2 0 1 1



on the cover



beautifulBABYWINNER Congratulations to the winner of the Beautiful Baby contest, Miley Baugh, 2, daughter of Mike and Connie Baugh. Miley was voted by Today’s Family readers as the most beautiful baby in Kentuckiana. Miley Baugh usually isn’t a big fan of photo-ops, but photographers Melissa Donald and Jessica Powell knew what to do to keep her twirling and smiling. Plus, having the chance to wear not one but two dresses for two different photos shoots is an added incentive since she loves playing dress-up. Aside from her fascination with pretty dresses, Miley’s parents, Mike and Connie Baugh, say she looks forward to eating chicken nuggets, going for walks in her push-able car, and playing in the bath. Miley also loves to spend time with her family: Laura, 21; Megan, 18; Brandon, 12; Sarah, 5; and Matthew, 18 months. Besides getting her cover photo taken by Jessica Powell of Vogue Visions, Miley won gifts from Derby City Pediatric Dentistry (see page 8 for more). 4

J u n e / J u l y

2 0 1 1

t o d a y ’ s


w w w . t o d a y s f a m i l y m a g . c o m

J u n e / J u l y

2 0 1 1


F un A M I L Y

Try It!

An Ice Cream Challenge This summer why not make a game of trying as many ice cream favorites and local places as possible? Here are some tried and true ice cream winners from the Today’s Family family of writers.

Mmmmm. . .lemon ice cream from Homemade Ice Cream and Pie Kitchen! This was not a flavor I would have tried, but I tasted it as I was trying to help my 7-year-old daughter contain a drippy waffle cone on a 90+ degree Louisville day! Sweet, creamy lemon flavor is perfect for a hot summer day . . . and is now one of my favorites! — Stacie L. Martin Graeter’s strawberry chip ice cream sings of summer. No matter how frozen the ice cream, the chocolate stays soft. My family used to order two kids’ cups and split it four ways, but my 6-year-old told us last summer, “It’s time I got my ‘own cone.’” — Megan M. Seckman You say summer, I say peaches. You say ice cream; I say Graeter’s. You say perfect; I say Graeter’s peach ice cream only available in summer when peaches are in season. It’s a treat. — Tricia Williams Mayfield ice cream made in Athens, Tenn., and carried in Walmart right here in Louisville. Mint chocolate chip is the just right combination for us. Available 365 days each year. A perfect blend of mint, not too minty, shaved chocolate bits that aren’t too sweet or bitter or too chunky. Delicious all the way to the bottom of the carton! — Tricia Williams Graeter’s strawberry chip ice cream, which they only carry in April, May, and June. It is devastatingly delish and makes me desperate for it the remaining nine months of the year. — Carrie Vittitoe My favorite ice cream is the bluberry cobbler at Graeter’ yummy! — LaDonna Kennedy It has to be Graeter’s. But too much really is too much. Keep it simple, like a scoop of black raspberry chip and a scoop of peach. — Bob Uberti If my daughter and I are in a smoothie mode, we head to Smoothie King on Bardstown Road for a “pomegranate punch,” which combines pomegranate concentrate, blueberries, apples and bananas, with some soy protein thrown in for good measure. It’s refreshing and healthy. — Ursula Robertson-Moore You can’t beat 32 Degrees in the Summit for a build-your-own frozen yogurt sundae. My fave is the triple chocolate low-fat yogurt, topped with fresh raspberries, toasted coconut, and pecans. At 45 cents per ounce, this place can set you back a little bit, so ask for a punch card, which earns you a freebie after eight sundaes. I’m on my second card. — Ursula Robertson-Moore The four-berry sundae at Sam’s Club on Blankenbaker Lane. This 12-ounce sundae starts with Edy’s vanilla soft serve (reduced fat) ice cream and is smothered in strawberries, blueberries, blackberries, and raspberries. At a mere $1.59, I will make excuses to run by Sam’s just to indulge. Since berries are a great source of phytochemicals and vitamins, this treat is delicious and nutritious. — Ursula Robertson-Moore We love the mango smoothie at Panera Bread. While I was in there for lunch one day, I spied a poster bearing a picture of a smoothie taller than I am. Within the week we were back there to try one, and they don’t disappoint, although the real thing is a bit smaller. — Elaine Rooker Jack I would suggest a trip to partake in some of the different locallyowned ice cream shops. A stop at Polly’s Freeze in Georgetown, Ind., may be on your way home from blueberry picking in June in New Salisbury, or a milkshake at Berry Twist in Floyds Knobs on your way to Huber’s petting zoo. Zesto’s in Clarksville and New Albany is worth its own trip, but you could combine it with a trip to Bass Pro Shop to shoot the targets. And don’t forget the Widow’s Walk Ice Creamery in Jeffersonville for a close-up walk by the river. — Anita Oldham


When you’re sick and tired of the heat and humidity, when you long for the crisp autumn nights, Homemade Ice Cream and Pie Kitchen will roll out pumpkin ice cream. Only offered until Thanksgiving, this spicy-sweet ice cream has become a tradition for our family to say goodbye to summer! — John G. Warren

J u n e / J u l y

2 0 1 1

t o d a y ’ s


w w w . t o d a y s f a m i l y m a g . c o m

J u n e / J u l y

2 0 1 1





beautifulBABY FACEBOOKWINNERS We couldn’t settle for only one winner— especially when you have a large pool of adorable contenders. In addition to selecting our main winner, we asked our Facebook fans to choose two more winners from our top 20 vote getters in our Beautiful Baby Contest. Derby City Pediatric Dentistry also provided our runners-up with a gift basket and free dental exam.

After vigorous voting (close to 50,000 votes) for the nominated babies (and there are some cute babies out there!), the winner emerged…two-year-old Miley Baugh. Congratulations Miley!

Beautiful Baby Winner: more about Miley Baugh (read her on page 4)

Age: 2 Parents: Connie and Mike Baugh

Miley won $400 worth of dental care and a gift basket from the sponsor of the contest, Derby City Pediatric Dentistry ( Miley is pictured above receiving her prize from Dr. Korie Acord of Derby City Pediatric Dentistry. Runner Up: Matthew Baugh Age: 18 months Parents: Connie and Mike Baugh Matthew Baugh gets his first experience in the spotlight all before he can even walk or talk, and his sister Miley Baugh was right at his side to get him prepped for the shoot. When he isn’t posing for the camera, you’ll find him sipping on vanilla almond milk or watching the Backyardigans.

Runner Up: Aidrick Smith Age: 10 months Parents: Ericka and Scott Smith Aidrick Smith enjoys exploring his surroundings and has tons of energy says parents Scott and Ericka Smith. Currently, he is learning to crawl, lift himself to a standing position, and loves trying to climb onto things. His favorite toy, says Ericka, is the V-Tech Learn and Dance Interactive Zoo. 8

J u n e / J u l y

2 0 1 1

t o d a y ’ s


w w w . t o d a y s f a m i l y m a g . c o m

J u n e / J u l y

2 0 1 1


Welcome to Parenthood,

Things You Need To Know About Being a Parent Here —


Whether You’re a New Parent or Just Moved to Town


J u n e / J u l y

2 0 1 1

By Carrie Vittitoe


Local Consignment Sales Rock

Once the baby has outgrown everything from your registry (in approximately 6 months), you realize you have to buy everything yourself from now until your kid graduates from college. The local seasonal consignment sales of kid items, like KidStuff sale, Little Treasures, and A to Z Kids Consignment sale, make it easy to find gently used and affordable clothing and toys. I’m not sure whether the greater thrill is finding super deals when shopping the sales or recouping some much-needed cash when consigning at them. (Try

t o d a y ’ s




Think Simple for Preschool

Preschool is important to help young children learn how to interact with peers in a school-like environment and take direction from authority figures other than mom and dad. But it probably shouldn’t cost as much as a year at Harvard or even EKU. Think small. Think caring teachers. Think as close to your house as possible (because sometimes getting to school by 9 a.m. with a 3-year-old is more complicated than going to the moon). Jeffersontown Christian Preschool meets all three criteria for me, so my tribe has attended or will attend there.


Playgrounds Near and Not Too Far

Sure, there are good playgrounds close to your house, but there are some really awesome ones scattered throughout Louisville. The Don Fightmaster Playground for Exceptional Children at U of L and the Adventure Playground at Waterfront Park are two of the city’s finest. I’m not ashamed to admit I have been more than a little stoked to venture onto the play equipment at these parks.


Where To Let the Kids, Their Imaginary Buffalos, and Your Mind Roam

Wandering aimlessly: Young kids love it, and parents of young kids need it to decompress. The Anchorage Walking Trail meanders through meadows and past a rambling creek. At the right time of day, the trail is packed with dogs walking their owners, which toddlers and preschoolers — and moms — love. The Arthur K. Draut Park in St. Matthews offers an unusual path featuring bridges and wetland terrain that is a fun exploration every time you walk it.


It’s Fun to Go to the. . .YMCA

Once we’d unloaded our moving truck and scouted a grocery store, my husband went to work, and my 3-yearold daughter Ivy and I were…well…unsure what to do next. New to the city, I decided to start somewhere familiar. I joined the YMCA, since I was a member in my home state. I never imagined joining the Y would mean I’d lose weight, learn to navigate the school system, discover what allergy remedies work, find out where the best shoe stores are, and figure out where to place my feet to throw a punch in kickboxing. Ivy and I have clocked in morning after morning in the linoleum-tiled halls of the Y. When winter’s grip held outdoor activities at bay, Ivy learned to plié, jump, and twirl in ballet class, practiced her kicks and strokes in the Y pool, and created craft after craft in preschool playtimes. Both of us have become familiar with our community and the region through the Louisville Y and its members. In fall, when Ivy starts school, I’ll miss our mother/ daughter mornings. But thanks to the soundtrack of my aerobics class, I have a feeling when Ivy comes home singing the lyrics of the latest heart-throb, I’ll be able to sing along. Maybe even teach her a few dance steps, ones I learned, of course, at the Y. — Mali Anderson

The Go-To Places to Have (some of your trillions of) Parenting Questions Answered

There is no end to questions that come with raising children, but there are lots of local establishments that can help you (and have helped me) find the answers. Why isn’t this breastfeeding thing working? (Babyology) What kind of baby carrier should I buy? (Mama’s Hip) Where do I take my sick child when it isn’t “technically” an emergency? (Pediatric Acute Care) Whom do I call if my child seems developmentally delayed? (First Steps or JCPS Early Childhood) What if I want my birth experience with baby #2 to be different? (Birth Care Network) continued on page 12

w w w . t o d a y s f a m i l y m a g . c o m

J u n e / J u l y

2 0 1 1


continued from page 10


The Joy of an Organized Parent-Child Activity

Some of my best experiences with my kids have been through parent-child classes. In addition to having fun with my children, they’ve also helped me to meet or reconnect with some wonderful parent friends. Throughout the last seven years My Gym’s Mr. Bill and Heartland Music Together’s Ms. Miriam have helped me make some fantastic memories with my kiddos, and I have photos in scrapbooks to prove it. ArtSparks at J.B. Speed Art Museum

Free and Cheap!

• Get out of the heat and enjoy a $1 kid-friendly movie at Tinseltown Theatre’s Summer Movie Clubhouse. • Pack a picnic lunch and let the kids cool down in the waterplay area of Louisville’s Waterfront Park. • Older kids love to show off their skateboarding and bike skills at the Louisville Extreme Park. • The J.B. Speed Art Museum gives kids an appreciation for fine art and the chance to make their own artistic creations through ArtSparks; the museum offers free admission on the first Friday of the month from 5 to 9 pm. • Break out your bikes and ride along the riverfront: the path begins at Waterfront Park and ends in Shawnee Park. • Blackacre Nature Preserve allows kids to visit and feed farm animals on Saturdays from May through October. • Watch dozens of ducks, play on the playground, and take a leisurely trail walk at Brown Park in St. Matthews. • Watch candy being made the old-fashioned way and visit the candy museum at Schimpff’s Confectionary in Jeffersonville. (Buy yourself some cinnamon red hots — they are the best ever!) • Take a short drive to Frankfort to learn about Kentucky’s unique ecosystems and animals at the Salato Wildlife Center. (Free admission, donations accepted.) — Stacie L. Martin


A Membership Makes You Feel Like You Get Stuff for Free

Purchasing a dual membership to the Louisville Zoo and the Louisville Science Center ensures that the kids and I have something to do whether it’s 101 degrees and humid, cold and snowy, or perfectly perfect weather. We pack light snacks and don’t feel compelled to stay from open to close. We can come back tomorrow or next Friday or every third Wednesday regardless of what Mother Nature throws at us.


Preschoolers Love Tours

I have been pleasantly surprised by how many local businesses are eager to offer tours to small groups of parents and preschoolers. My 3-year-old and I both really enjoyed touring Graeter’s and Heitzman Traditional Bakery and Deli, for obviously delicious reasons. And we’ve toured Middletown Fire Station so many times my 3-year-old can spot Fireman Ben from 100 yards away.

Where are the ‘Nice’ Restrooms?

When making plans for dining out, most people primarily consider the type of food they’re craving and how long the wait will be at the restaurant. That’s all well and good for date night, but when the kids are with us, we want to know: “How are the restrooms?” As the parents of two preschool girls — the younger of whom recently turned 3 and is still nowhere near potty-trained — my husband and I have learned to plan shopping and dining excursions around where there are nice restrooms with changing tables. And when my girls were infants and nursing, we looked for 12

J u n e / J u l y

2 0 1 1

breastfeeding-friendly spaces. (Thank you, Von Maur!) My husband and I have changed too many diapers and pull-ups on grungy linoleum floors or on automobile floorboards. Even with today’s more family-friendly culture and living in an urban area, we have found an appalling lack of changing facilities in stores and restaurants. Sure, you’ll generally see them in big retail and franchise-type places, but not always, and I like to patronize local shops and establishments as much as possible. Fortunately our shopping options have

continued on page 14

expanded since we caved to the mini-van pressure and bought our VW Routan, which when you flip down the third row of seats, allows enough space for both parent and child to be comfortable, warm, and dry during an emergency change. My 3-year-old has proclaimed herself the “Potty Boss” in a tough battle of wills. Potty Boss frequently pees and poops in her pull-up because she’s afraid she won’t be my baby anymore when she graduates. Until she realizes she’ll always be my baby, Ramsi’s Café and the St. Matthews BBC are the top dining destinations for us. — Angela Stallings Hagan, t o d a y ’ s


w w w . t o d a y s f a m i l y m a g . c o m

J u n e / J u l y

2 0 1 1


Natural Infant Remedies

I don’t think any parent is truly prepared for the first infant illnesses, especially the first bout of colic. Everyone is prepared for the cute and cuddles, but not the wails, explosive diarrhea, and green snot. I certainly didn’t anticipate four hours of relentless screaming every night from 6 to 10. My first truly appreciated gift, like manna from heaven, was a bottle of Gripe Water sent from a seasoned mom. As a seasoned mom, my go-to gift bag is full of natural remedies for common infant illnesses (and of course, Gripe Water). I pass on all that I’ve learned from the lovely staff at Rainbow Blossom, who have helped me cure everything from ear infections to lice with a milder, more natural, speedy recovery. • Gripe Water — A European remedy consisting of water fortified with herbs (peppermint, chamomile, fennel, ginger, etc.) that naturally relieves gas. Drop into your hysterical infant’s mouth and he suddenly calms. Similar to wine around the same evening hours in adults. • Garlic Ear Oil — Warm a bottle of store-bought or create your own garlic-infused oil to relieve earaches faster than you can get to the pharmacy. Drop into the ear and plug with cotton. The garlic works as an anti-inflammatory and as an antiseptic, creating a hostile environment for bacteria, fungus, and viruses. Your baby will smell like an Italian kitchen, but she’ll be a happier baby. Also good for warding off vampires. • Maxi Baby-dophilus — After a round of antibiotics, diarrhea, thrush or yeast infections (even the boys get them while in diapers), the acidophilus in this product restores the body’s natural bacteria levels. It can be mixed in a bottle or single-grain cereal. Use weekly for prevention; it’s as gentle as eating yogurt. — Megan M. Seckman

continued from page 12


You Don’t Always Have to Go to McDonald’s

I’ll be honest: Since my second son was born, I don’t venture out to restaurants much since neither boy seems terribly interested in sitting still for a New York minute. But I have been told numerous restaurants that serve foods even adults like offer kids eat free (or cheap) days/evenings, including Chili’s, McAlister’s Deli, BoomBozz, and T.G.I. Friday’s. (Google “kids eat free.”)


Buy the Darn Mini-Van

It is hard to let one’s aura of coolness slip into oblivion, but just accept that there will come a time, if you don’t go ahead and get a mini-van when the first baby arrives, when you will be dying for one, nearly salivating when your parent friends drive by in theirs. You will be ashamed by how much you geek out over the automatic sliding door. Carrie Vittitoe lives in Louisville with her husband Dean Langford and Norah (7), Graeme (3) and Miles (18 months). She is a frequent contributor to Today’s Family.

Books, DVDs, and Clubs

If you are new to town and want to experience fun for free, classes, and even a dance party. My favorite program is the check out your local library. The library is full of resources and summer reading program. I sign up and promise to read a hosts events for all ages of the famcertain amount, and at the end of ily. When I discovered the library, summer they give out prizes to all I quickly made friends with the who participate. librarian and learned about all the The library also has VCR and fun and exciting events happening current DVD movies available to weekly. I frequent different libraries check out. There are CDs of your in Bullitt and Jefferson counties favorite bands, and we can’t forand found that most libraries have get the vast rows of books. Most similar events going on weekly. libraries will even do inter-library One event my family took advanloans if they do not have the book tage of was storytime for children 1 you want to read. Check out library to 4 years old. My child would get web pages to find out about the excited about going to storytime wonderful events happening at every week, and while she listened no cost. to the story, we could read the paper When you are new in town or or take advantage of the computers just a new parent, check out the and surf the internet. There is also local library. You might take up a homework help for students, family new hobby and even make some game nights, crafts, clubs, computer The Summer Reading programs at local libraries are a new friends. — David Stephens great way to keep your children engaged.


J u n e / J u l y

2 0 1 1

t o d a y ’ s


w w w . t o d a y s f a m i l y m a g . c o m

J u n e / J u l y

2 0 1 1



arents can sometimes forget that they are raising adults, not children. The goal is to equip kids with the skills and increasing responsibility for managing their lives without constant vigilance, according to Michelle May, M.D., author, board-certified family physician, and expert for TOPS Club, Inc. (Take Off Pounds Sensibly), the nonprofit weight-loss support organization. One key life skill is the ability to navigate an abundant food environment while maintaining optimal health. Here are seven things that well-meaning parents commonly say that may have unintended consequences — and what to say instead:


“You are such a good eater!”

Children want nothing more than to please their parents. While mealtime should be a pleasant time to connect with your children, eating should remain intrinsically driven to meet your child’s fuel needs, NOT to earn your praise. What you could say instead: “You must have been really hungry today!” Or, “I love spending time with you while we have dinner.”


“You are such a picky eater!”

All children (and adults) have some foods that they just don’t like. Some children are highly taste and/or texture sensitive, but most will outgrow it. Picky eating becomes an entrenched behavior when we berate, beg, bribe — or worse,


J u n e / J u l y

2 0 1 1

feed kids only what they say they’ll eat. What you could say instead: “I know you didn’t like it last time; tell me what you think about it today after you have one polite bite.” Or, “Did you know your taste buds grow up just like you do? I wonder if you like this big kid food yet?”


“Clean your plate; there are starving children in _______.”

Avoid teaching children scarcity eating behaviors in our plentiful food environment. What you could say instead: “It’s important to not be wasteful, so please only take as much as you think you need.” Or, “If you’re full, we can save the rest for later.”


“You have to eat all your vegetables or there’s no dessert.”

Kids are smart. When you bribe them for eating certain foods, they quickly realize that those foods must be yucky and that dessert is the reward. They also learn to hold out until a reward is offered. What you could say instead: “I love all kinds of different foods — some that make me healthy and strong and some that are just for fun. What kinds of foods do you like?” Or, “Enjoy your dinner. We’ll be having dessert in a couple hours.”

t o d a y ’ s



“Eat all your dinner or no dessert.”

This variation on the preceding threat translates to “you must overeat and I will reward you by giving you more to eat!” Children naturally love sweet foods, so they can learn to override their fullness signals. As an adult, they might be tempted to order a 1,200-calorie salad to “earn” a 1,200-calorie piece of cheesecake. What you could say instead: “Save room for dessert tonight!”


“I was so bad at lunch today! Now I have to spend an extra hour on the treadmill.” Children are born to move. They naturally love exploring their environment, challenging themselves, and playing actively. Unfortunately, the messages they get from adults teach them that exercise is punishment for eating. What you could say instead: “I ate more than I needed and now I feel too full and uncomfortable. I think a walk would make me feel better. Want to join me?” Or, “Anybody up for a bike ride?”

“I’m so gross and fat!” Or, “I can’t believe _______ has let herself go!”


Kids learn from us even when we think they aren’t listening. Statements like this teach kids that it’s okay to put yourself and others down and judge people for their weight or other physical attributes. Perhaps they also secretly wonder what you really think about them. What you could say instead: “I’m not perfect, but I do my best to make healthy choices.”

And whatever else you say, remember to say often… I love you just the way you are. This article was provided by TOPS Club Inc. (Take Off Pounds Sensibly), a nonprofit weight-loss support and wellness education organization established more than 63 years ago to champion weight-loss support and success. Visitors are welcome to attend their first TOPS meeting free of charge. To find a local chapter, visit www. or call 800.932.8677. w w w . t o d a y s f a m i l y m a g . c o m

J u n e / J u l y

2 0 1 1


By Nadyne Lee


ina Turner was eight months pregnant and expecting her first child. Gina and her husband Tom had been trying to get pregnant for two years. They were both thrilled to be anticipating this blessed event. At a baby shower given by her best friend Sandy, Gina was asked, “Are you having a boy or a girl?” “We don’t know,” said Gina. “We want to be surprised.” “Well, what do you want?” pressed Sandy. “I really don’t care,” said Gina. “As long as it’s healthy.”

A healthy baby is a true blessing: a gift. It’s what every parent wants. We’re tempted to believe that a healthy child is good luck or good genes — something out of our control. Although some birth defects are genetically caused, there are steps you can take to protect your unborn child from serious health problems.


Quit Smoking for Good!

Women who smoke have more miscarriages than those who don’t. The placenta is negatively affected by maternal smoking. In fact, the placenta may become so fragile that it disconnects from the uterus causing fetal death. A baby whose mother smokes does not get the same quality of oxygen or nutrients as one whose mother doesn’t smoke. More babies are born prematurely or with low birth weight from moms who smoke. Smoking during and after 18

J u n e / J u l y

2 0 1 1

pregnancy leads to a higher incidence of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS). Secondhand smoking after pregnancy can lead to asthma and other childhood respiratory illnesses. Once you’ve stopped smoking, congratulate yourself. Then promise yourself that you’ve quit smoking for good!


Do NOT Drink Alcohol During Pregnancy.

If a pregnant mother has a cocktail, so does her unborn child! If you “tie one on,” your baby becomes intoxicated too. The placenta is a wonderful nutritional delivery system. But it is rather indiscriminate in how it nourishes your baby. You have to decide what goes in and what stays out. A pregnant woman should NEVER drink alcohol. Drinking alcohol can cause stillbirth and a range of continued on page 20 t o d a y ’ s


w w w . t o d a y s f a m i l y m a g . c o m

J u n e / J u l y

2 0 1 1


continued from page 18

birth defects called Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorders (FASD). The symptoms include small head size, hyperactivity, low IQ, difficulty in school (especially math), poor memory, speech delays, and problems with the heart, kidneys, and bones. FASD is 100 percent preventable. There is no safe time to drink during pregnancy. You should stop drinking when you’re trying to get pregnant. If you are having problems stopping, get help. Locate an Alcoholics Anonymous near you.


Take Folic Acid.


Prevent Infections.

Folic acid, a B vitamin, can help prevent birth defects of the brain and spinal column. Folic acid should be taken when you are trying to get pregnant and during pregnancy.

• Group B Strep: Group B Strep is a bacterium that 25 percent of women carry. It usually doesn’t make adults sick, but it can be extremely dangerous to unborn children. If your newborn contracts it as she passes through the birth canal, she can get very sick or even die. Ask your healthcare provider for a GBS test in your 9th month of pregnancy. If you carry the germ, you will be treated with an antibiotic before your delivery. If a patient has not been tested for GBS before going into labor, she should be treated with antibiotics during labor. • Listeriosis: Listeriosis is 20 times more common in pregnant women than in the rest of the population. While it usually causes flu-like symptoms in women, it can be deadly for the unborn child, leading to stillbirth or premature delivery. To protect yourself against listeriosis, avoid poorly cooked hot dogs and deli meats, pre-packaged deli salads, soft cheese, raw milk, and refrigerated smoked seafood. Wash your hands well after handling deli products. • Toxoplasmosis: Toxoplasmosis is a parasite found in cat poop. While usually a mild disease in adults, toxoplasmosis can cause devastating symptoms if it is contracted by your unborn child. These problems include seizures, abnormal brain development, hearing loss, and most commonly, eye damage. Don’t change the cat litter when you’re pregnant. This is a good time to let your husband have that responsibility. Also, don’t play in the sand box with your toddler! Stray cats may have used it as their potty! • Cytomegalovirus: Cytomegalovirus (CMV) is almost everywhere! It loves to hide in the diapers and saliva of young children. Moms who want to prevent infecting their unborn infants with cytomegalovirus are warned to wash their hands after handling diapers (a no-brainer!), to avoid using the same eating utensils as their toddlers (a bit harder), and to avoid kissing children under the age of 6 months on the cheek or mouth (okay, wait a minute...did I really write that?) Yes, unfortunately, those are the recommendations. Why? Because there is no treatment for CMV and up to 90 percent of infants who have symptoms of CMV at birth will have neurologic abnormalities later in life. Those abnormalities include deafness and psychomotor retardation.


pesticide was linked to ADHD. Researchers say that pregnant mothers shouldn’t avoid fruits and vegetables, but should wash them well or buy organic.


Why Weight?


Keep Diabetes Under Control.


See a Healthcare Professional.

Drop the extra weight before you get pregnant. Obesity puts a woman at higher risk for complications and it places her unborn child at risk for serious problems as well. Obese patients are at increased risk of getting gestational diabetes and gestational hypertension that can lead to preeclampsia. Unborn babies may put on unwanted pounds making labor and delivery difficult. These infants often grow to be obese toddlers. Because of the extra fat cells they gained early on, big babies may have to fight the battle of the bulge all their lives. Talk to your healthcare provider about ways to achieve a healthy weight before you get pregnant.

Uncontrolled diabetes can cause serious problems for mother and baby alike.

As soon as you know you are pregnant, you should schedule a visit with your Ob/Gyn. Your healthcare provider will assist you with any vaccinations or tests you may need. Take a list of all the medicines, vitamins, and herbal products you take. Be open and honest about your smoking, drinking, drug use, and sexual history. All information is confidential and essential for your welfare and the welfare of your baby. Regular Obstetric visits are the best way to ensure a safe delivery. About a month before the birth of your child, interview a potential pediatrician. You will want to feel as comfortable with your child’s doctor as you do with your own. A healthy baby: It’s what every parent wants. There are ways we can protect our children even before they are born. Protection is part of our job description as parents. And it begins before our babies ever see the light of day. Nadyne Lee is a pediatric nurse practitioner and a regular contributor to Today’s Family.

Wash Fruits and Vegetables.

A new study released in April 2011 from Environmental Health Perspectives states that babies exposed to high pesticide levels in the womb have lower IQ averages than other children. The greatest damage is done early in pregnancy when the brain is developing rapidly. Earlier research proved that exposure to organophosphate 20 J u n e / J u l y 2 0 1 1

t o d a y ’ s


w w w . t o d a y s f a m i l y m a g . c o m

J u n e / J u l y

2 0 1 1


a new mother’s


PART 4 in a Series — In this story series throughout this year, Louisville freelance writer Laura Clark, 28, guides us through her experience as a first-time mother. By Laura Clark


elax and love.

This has become my mantra as a new mom. Having and taking care of a baby 24/7 is such an abrupt change that it’s hard not to get lost in the feeling of being overwhelmed and anxious. Not to mention the identity crisis that hits. Perhaps if I had started my family when I was in my early 20s, this wouldn’t seem so weird. But I didn’t. I had 10 years of freedom after high school, including six long years in college. I followed whims and discovered passions. I began a career. Then it all changed with the arrival of my baby. Don’t get me wrong. I love being a mom. I know my child is a gift, and I am honored to raise him. I would do pretty much anything to make sure I didn’t have to be away from him while he’s so young. In the grand scheme of life, this is what’s important, being here for him. It is such a short time in both of our lives that it doesn’t feel like a sacrifice. In fact, if I ever start to sound or act like one of


Carter is teaching his mother something new every day.


J u n e / J u l y

2 0 1 1

those martyr moms, please smack some sense into me. I look at many women I love and respect and am confused by their logic: What part of sacrificing all of yourself is good for your child? I think moms get caught up in this cycle of “kids first” (sports and arts opportunities/the perfect toys/the right schools/happiness, happiness, happiness) at the expense of the family’s wellbeing and the mom’s health and sanity. Now that I’m in the driver’s seat, the perspective I gained childless threatens to fade away. I look at my son and am reminded that what he really needs and wants is patient, loving attention. For me to give that to the best of my ability, I have to be at a certain level of peace within myself. Kids are perceptive. They can feel our moods better than some spouses. This seems the opportune time to insert my dose of advice. Actually, it is my mother’s advice. She said, “Put your marriage first.” Sadly, she wanted me to learn from what she deemed her mistake. She raised four wonderful (albeit not perfect) children, but she and my father divorced when I was a senior in high school. Taking care of my child is a given. My marriage is that loving, stable environment I want to raise him in, but it is easy to prioritize and put hubby on the backburner. t o d a y ’ s



(L-R) Benjamin, Carter, and Jonas indulge their mothers with a pleasant playdate at the park.

So I’m making a pledge to balance my responsibilities and back off the labeling. That’s the identity crisis I mentioned earlier. We’re so used to meeting someone new and saying, “What do you do?” This question is so loaded because as a culture, we derive our identity from our careers, and as such, we form this hierarchy of jobs based on coolness and earning potential and power. Where does a stay-at-home-mom (or dad) fall? We’re doing the hardest job in the world. We aren’t paid for it. We’re also doing one of the most rewarding jobs in the world. And it gets no respect. It also gets no help in the larger American society that puts emphasis on materialism, workaholics, and superficiality. But that’s okay. I’ve decided to be the change I seek: to emphasize family and caring. Maybe I don’t register on the GDP, but that’s an outdated measurement of American success anyway. I felt like I’d stepped into a bubble when I left my career. But when I started to let go of my identity as tied to a 30-second summary, I let go of a lot of anxiety. Relax and love. When I focus on that phrase as a person and in my relationships, I find I am a lot more at peace with the choices I make. I told my midwife recently that motherhood has made me more honest and compassionate. Not that I’m all lovey-dovey. Eww. I can be more brutally honest, especially with myself. But I can also forgive and accept more with compassion. Life, no matter what bubble you think you live in, is complicated. Motherhood is no slim volume on the bookshelf, either. My husband would say I read too much, and perhaps I do. There are plenty of books about raising children out there; it seemed a shame not to explore them. But I wonder: What if I hadn’t read all those different theories on raising kids? Would I have felt less muddled about the choices I made? I made the reading work for me: I sought books that backed up my instincts about how I mothered. They gave me confidence to continue practicing attachment parenting when it seemed like the larger “parenting society” was w w w . t o d a y s f a m i l y m a g . c o m

emphasizing separation. I don’t want to be away from my baby, but I need support as a mother. And sometimes that means begging to take a shower every other day or get an hour in the garden. When my baby cried shortly after he was born, I felt a physical pull in my belly. That’s not a bad thing. That’s natural. I know in my heart (and head) I’m doing the best I can for my unique child. Mothering feels better every day. Joining other moms for play dates can make all the difference. By sharing our daily trials, we learn to cut ourselves some slack. We’re still recovering from our births, and we realized we need several months to heal our bodies and spirits. And our babies are on our team in this healing. There’s an overwhelming urge to compare children today, either to some development scale or to each other. Every child is so different. Being around other babies emphasizes that. Carter is a chunky baby. He’s not the chunkiest kid in the playgroup, but he’s still so chunky I thought he’d never put the roll in roly-poly. Finally, though, he was on his belly and pushed up high with his thick arms. His big head and gravity conspired to pull him over onto his back. Yeah! As parents, we wait anxiously for them to meet some milestone, and in Carter’s case, the first rollover was a fluke. The kid was so surprised to be like a turtle on its back, he started crying. Shortly thereafter, he started intentionally rolling both ways, but really, what was all the fuss about? Babies will reach a milestone when their individual development dictates it. Chill, Mom, his gurgling says. When I forget and get momentarily caught up in the fact that my “to-do” list isn’t getting done, I remind myself to make a new list. Like things I love to do with my baby: read, sing, change his diaper — just mind that I don’t set my coffee cup too close to the changing station — walk outside, play peek-a-boo and make him giggle to show off that dimple, count the dimples on his thighs, be amazed by the length of his unbroken strand of drool. Carter just needs his mama to relax and love him. It’s not such a hard thing to do. J u n e / J u l y 2 0 1 1 23

Play Groups —

General Parent and Play Groups

of Community

What They’re About: Providing a safe, secure, and free place for mothers to find support and encouragement from other mothers and to empower them to be better women, parents, and community leaders What They Offer: A free, 24-hour online forum where members ask questions, share ideas, and gain friendship and support as well as many face-to-face playdates and events each month. Website:

The Power

Louisville Mommies

Louisville Moms Night Out

When I moved to Louisville two years ago, I literally knew two people in town. After enjoying a couple of months of anonymity and exploring a new city with my three boys, I found myself missing something I had left behind in Missouri: a mom community. A few of my mommy friends and I started an informal playgroup there, complete with adult conversation and a simple lunch. We took turns hosting while our toddlers learned to take turns sharing toys. Over chicken salad sandwiches, we talked about pediatricians, potty training, and life. Where could I even begin to find a community of moms like that in Louisville? I wish I had known then what I know now: that there is no lack of parenting groups in Louisville. You just have to know where to look. I eventually found my Louisville mom community in the moms’ group at my church. Now, every other Monday I look forward to spending time with these women as we share ideas about things like menu-planning or how to teach your children manners. We build trust with each other as we sit around laughing about our silly kids or sharing about marriage struggles. We support each other as we navigate the ups and downs of parenting. Whether you’re brand new to town or you’re just looking to make some new friends, I encourage you to check out one of the many parenting groups the Louisville area has to offer. You might just find the community you’re looking for, too!

S a n di n i e t s u Ha

Sandi lives in Crestwood with her husband and three sons ages 6, 4, and 3. This is her first piece for Today’s Family.

What They’re About: Getting moms out for some adult conversation and fun What They Offer: At least two outings a month doing a variety of activities from bowling and comedy shows to poker and dinner out. Membership is free and open to anyone in Kentuckiana. Website:

Mama’s Hip groups

What They’re About: Providing a space for moms, dads, and caregivers to gather with their little ones What They Offer: A new moms’ group and an open playgroup. Both groups meet twice weekly for conversation and play, are free, and do not require sign-up. While many in each group breastfeed, cloth diaper and wear their babies, they seek to be a supportive environment for all families. Website:


What They’re About: Creating a community of friendship, support, and fun in encouraging women to grow in their roles as wives, mothers, and friends. What They Offer: Meetings twice a month at Westport Road Church of Christ that allow women to get to know one another and to learn about a topic relevant to marriage, parenting, or managing a home. Moms night out and playdates are also scheduled each month. Donations are accepted to help cover the provided childcare at meetings. E-mail:

MOMS Club (Moms Offering Moms Support)

What They’re About: Offering support to stay-at-home moms during the day when they need support the most. What They Offer: Monthly meetings, playgroups, moms night out, community service projects, and practical support for moms who’ve had babies, deaths in family, or sickness. Chapters in east and southeast Louisville as well as in Oldham County. $25 dues cover group’s expenses. Website:


What They’re About: Providing unique opportunities for mothers and their children to have fun together and with others. What They Offer: Monthly hands-on tours of local businesses (they’ve decorated gourmet chocolate Easter bunnies and made pizzas) as well as weekly playdates and moms night out. Membership is free and open to anyone. Website: E-mail:

MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers)

What They’re About: Striving to meet the needs of every mom with children from birth through kindergarten and helping them to be the best moms they can be. What They Offer: Meetings once or twice a month consisting of small group discussion, teaching, and creative activities. Children are cared for in a preschool-like setting through the MOPPETS program. Multiple MOPS groups meet in Louisville; check the website to find the closest chapter. Each chapter requires dues that cover MOPS membership as well as childcare. Website: continued on page 26


J u n e / J u l y

2 0 1 1

to d a y ’ s


continued from page 24

Mother’s Center of Greater Louisville

What They’re About: Promoting the positive aspects of parenthood and families by offering playgroups, parent support, and resource materials. What They Offer: Playgroups are offered at least once a week at Hurstbourne Baptist Church and two to three times per week at various locations around town. An open gym is also offered once a month. A $60 fee covers rent, insurance, snacks, and supplies for the year. Website: E-mail:

South Louisville Moms

What They’re About: Offering support for moms located in the south end of Louisville. What They Offer: Playdates and activities at least twice a month. Membership is free. Website: E-mail: or

Toodle Doos Play Group

What They’re About: Providing opportunities for toddlers and young children to socialize while allowing parents to build relationships, exchange advice, and offer different perspectives on the issues they all face. What They Offer: One weekly standing playdate and a free, online social network where moms within the group set up multiple playdates and “mom-dates” each week. Website: Contact: Ida Turner at 502.468.9067

Down Syndrome of Louisville Dads’ Group What They’re About: Supporting men who have a child with Down Syndrome. What They Offer: A monthly Dads’ Night Out. Join by contacting the Down Syndrome of Louisville office. See their website for more details. Website:

U of L MOM (Modern Outlook on Motherhood) Support Group

What They’re About: Providing resources and genuine support for student mothers, empowering them to grow in their personal, academic, and professional lives. What They Offer: Monthly meetings during the academic year where speakers address topics such as academic success, transitioning to college, career guidance, or parenting. The group is free and is open to U of L and Metroversity College student-parents. Website: Contact: U of L Women’s Center at 502.852.8976

Secular Parents of Louisville

What They’re About: Supporting parents who are raising children in non-religious environments What They Offer: Periodic meetings for support and fun Website: Contact: Ed Hensley at 502.939.9275

Kentuckiana Transracial Adoption Group

Specific Parent and Play Groups Bardstown Mommas

What They’re About: Offering lots of fun and social time for moms and kids of Bardstown, Ky. What They Offer: Multiple playdates each week at parks, play places, and homes as well as special craft days and events for the kids. Also offer moms night out and family activities. $10 a year covers the website as well as different events. Website:


Mothers of Special Needs Children of Northern Kentucky What They’re About: Providing emotional support to mothers of physically and mentally handicapped children. What They Offer: Monthly meetings focused on topics related to raising children with disabilities. Membership is free, and any mother, grandmother, or woman raising a handicapped child is welcome to join. Website:


What They’re About: Encouraging single moms as they shoulder the primary responsibilities of raising their children. What They Offer: An 8-week program to inspire, encourage, and inform single moms. Contact: Southeast Christian at 502.253.8400

What They’re About: Celebrating, affirming, and building understanding of the joys and challenges racial diversity brings to adoptive families. What They Offer: Monthly meetings and family activities that give parents the opportunity to offer support to one another. Website: Facebook group “K-TAG Kentuckiana Transracial Adoption Support Group”

For more groups for parents of children with specific special needs, visit Adopting families in southern Indiana may want to visit http:// If you know of any other groups to include, please email us at

From left to right, mothers Rebekah Raisor, Noelle Spooner, and Elizabeth Berfield enjoy time together while their children play at a Mama’s Hip playgroup.


J u n e / J u l y

2 0 1 1

to d a y ’ s


w w w . t o d a y s f a m i l y m a g . c o m

J u n e / J u l y

2 0 1 1


Constructing a Written Parenting Plan

By Veda Pendleton McClain, Ph.D.


id you know that most parents spend more time planning for their child’s first birthday party than they do in planning for the rest of the child’s life? Sad, but true. And when they do plan, it is usually only in the areas of education and finances. But what about the child’s character, conduct, home life, and health? Every parent should have a written plan for the life of each child.

A written plan gives the child a purpose for living and answers the questions, “Why am I here?” and “What am I supposed to do?” A plan gives the child and family members direction and allows them to see where they are going and what they are going to do. A plan frees parents from the challenges of making moment-to-moment decisions and uniquely empowers the family because their forethought has generated intentional decisions about how the child will be reared. Others do not make decisions for them and parents do not have to be reactionary. Finally, a written plan for a child’s life builds resiliency, or the ability to bounce back. When the unexpected happens, a written plan helps the family refocus and get back to the work of rearing the child. The plan keeps them on course.

PART 1: Truth in Character

An important part of our plan was focused on character development. It was important for us to create an atmosphere of trust through being truthful in all situations. My children were expected to tell the truth no matter what, and I modeled truth-telling before them. By telling the truth even in times of difficulty, we were able to build a safe and loving environment based on honesty. It has been that honesty over the years that has allowed us to be open with each other about our hurts, our fears and insecurities, and our dreams. When my oldest daughter was very young, she lied to me about an insignificant event. I punished 28

continued on page 30 J u n e / J u l y

2 0 1 1

t o d a y ’ s


w w w . t o d a y s f a m i l y m a g . c o m

J u n e / J u l y

2 0 1 1


continued from page 28

her that day in the presence of her siblings, and we talked about how we would work together as a family to always tell the truth to each other. To this day, we continue to enjoy a trusting relationship that is based on truth, and as she rears her sons, she has begun to develop the same urgency of truth-telling in them.

PART 2: College Bound

In addition to planning for my children’s character development, I planned for my children’s college education. Beginning very early, we talked about attending college and where they might go to college. From the day that they entered kindergarten, steps were put in place to steer them towards college.

PART 3: Personal Responsibility

I expected everyone to do her/his best in school, no matter what. Good behavior at school was a given. No one wanted the school to call me about behavior issues. No one had telephone privileges between 5 p.m. on Sunday and 5 p.m. on Friday during the school year. What that meant was that much of the “he said/she said” that children deal with at school was eliminated. It also meant that my children were better able to focus on schoolwork and other afterschool activities. It meant that our home was a lot quieter and more peaceful. Telephone privileges on school nights were restored during the second semester of their senior year of high school. Monitoring this was easier before the arrival of cell phones and the internet. My middle daughter recently shared that having this rule when she was younger has helped her remain focused and understand the importance of what she does with her time during the work week.

PART 4: Personal Image

Another component of my plan focused on personal image for each child. My mother used to tell me that everything did not look good on everyone, and I passed that on to my children, especially my daughters. Each daughter has a different body size and type and although “hand-me-downs” worked for a while, as their bodies matured, they did not work. It was at that point that we had conversations about what looked good on each body and the types of clothes that would flatter their body types. Those discussions were the foundations for choosing places to buy their clothes as well as what clothes we would buy. At the age of 14, I took each daughter to the make-up counter at a department store to learn which make-up would match her skin tone and to learn how to properly apply the make-up. That was not always easy, but it was an opportunity to provide each daughter with knowledge about who she was and what was best for her. That knowledge has become a source of power as they now shop for themselves and make their own clothing and make-up purchases.

PART 5: Health and Wellness

Finally, my plan included well-balanced meals, particularly at dinnertime. The evening meal was one that was almost always shared as a family. It was a time to recap the day and just talk. It was a time of togetherness. It was also a time for my children to learn about eating well and understanding the importance of balancing their diets. Representation from the food groups was important and the expectation was that colors would be represented on each plate of food. All of the food on one plate could not be the same color.

How the Plan Helps

These are just a few examples of what guided my parenting and how our family lived together in our home. They gave order and structure to what we did on a daily basis. The children knew what the plan was for them and they were able to readily identify incidents that did not follow the plan or fit into their lives. These plans, while not perfect, were the foundation for our lives together as a family. They helped us focus on future goals with the understanding that what we did in the time leading up to adulthood mattered a lot. They helped me understand the importance of intentional planning and knowing what I wanted for each child. The plans helped my children understand that their lives had meaning, purpose, and reachable goals. As a family, having a plan empowered us beyond measure. Parents have business plans, financial plans, vacation plans, career plans, and house plans that are written with specific goals, measurable outcomes, and timelines. Shouldn’t we be just as thoughtful, reflective and intentional about how we rear our children? The first birthday party is only the beginning. A written plan for a child helps families enjoy future birthdays. Veda Pendleton McClain, Ph.D., lives in Louisville with her youngest son, Micah (16). She has three grown daughters and one grown son. She is an education consultant and parenting coach and is the author of The Intentional Parenting Plan. This is her first feature for Today’s Family.


J u n e / J u l y

2 0 1 1

t o d a y ’ s


w w w . t o d a y s f a m i l y m a g . c o m

How to Send Our Kids to

College By Yelena Sapin


he thought of college looming in the future sends many parents into a tailspin. Will our children get into a good school? How will we afford it? And how will we ever bear to let them go? Of course, not everybody goes to college. There are plenty of happy, successful people who either dropped out or never went at all. But whether through formal schooling or through the “school of hard knocks,” kids still need to gain a certain amount of knowledge and education to achieve their goals. Despite the recession and the cynical voices that question the value of a degree in today’s economy, college remains the springboard to more choices and opportunities in life. So how do we get our kids there?

a lot more appealing to colleges,” says Parsons. Courses taken in middle school can impact the sequence of courses taken in high school, so parents and children need to start thinking ahead. The U.S. Department of Education recommends four years of high school English and math, and three or four years of science and foreign language for college-bound kids, but many schools have even higher expectations. Once they get to high school, everything our kids do becomes a part of their academic resume. Colleges will never know about that “A” in eighth-grade language arts, but the “C” in ninth-grade English will be on the transcript. Kids need to stay on track, but if a setback does occur, it’s not the end of the world. How a student bounces back from a difficult situation can speak volumes about his commitment and character, and colleges will listen. continued on page 34

Laying the Foundation

The top three things college admissions officers look for are academics (grades, challenging course load), test scores (ACT/ SAT), and activities (extra-curriculars, leadership, community service). The first step in getting kids ready for college, whatever their age, is to “support and encourage them in making education a priority,” says Denise Park Parsons, a Louisvillebased independent educational consultant affiliated with College Bound Advising, LLC. But parents should keep in mind that there’s a difference between supporting and really pushing our kids. We need to listen to them, have honest conversations about goals and expectations, and encourage our children to challenge themselves both in and out of the classroom. Middle school is the time for students to develop their study habits, experiment with extra-curricular activities, and safely make mistakes. (For better or worse, nothing before high school appears on college applications). This is also the time to identify and address areas of struggle and to finetune the balance between school and outside activities so they can develop their interests and find something they love. “An engaged student, a student who’s passionate about what they’re doing, is going to be


J u n e / J u l y

2 0 1 1

t o d a y ’ s


w w w . t o d a y s f a m i l y m a g . c o m

J u n e / J u l y

2 0 1 1


continued from page 32

parents to fill out the FAFSA or similar form for the student to be considered for financial aid and will offer a financial aid Choosing a School package based on the EFC. Generally, the lower the EFC, the Some kids have known where they want to go since they larger the financial aid package. were old enough to wave a college banner, but others have no The EFC never seems low enough to parents, but many clue. While many families may feel that their choices are limited schools also award merit scholarships (to students with to in-state public schools because of economic constraints, it high GPAs and test scores), grants, or other scholarships pays to do some research and keep an open mind. A school based on achievement — the true reward for working hard that seems financially out of reach may offer a scholarship and in high school. For example, the Kentucky Educational financial aid package that suddenly makes that school an option. Excellence Scholarship (KEES) rewards students based on If there are specific constraints on where our kids can go to grades and test scores. These types of scholarships are the college, we need to let them know about it early and often to best way to pay for college because they are renewable make sure there are no misunderstandings down the road. as long as the student maintains There are many resources to a certain grade point average. For more information: help us learn more about schools: There are also lots of one-time online college search engines, outside scholarships available — books, college fairs, and high school high school guidance counselors counselors. Whittling down the list and many websites offer lists — requires our kids (and us!) to take an GettingReadyCollegeEarly/index.html but these are an unpredictable honest look at who they are, what way to pay for college. they want, what they need, and As much as we’d like our kids plan_time?main=1 what they can expect to get. We to get full scholarships, however, need to consider aspects beyond of us will end up picking up what-colleges-look-applicants.html the academics and tuition at a a chunk of college costs. That’s school: size, location, setting, social where loans and savings come in. life, extra-curricular opportunities, It’s never too early or too late to and how our student’s individual start saving for college, and there Colleges That Change Lives, strengths and weaknesses will are many different ways to do by Loren Pope impact his or her chances of it. Kentucky offers the Kentucky success. Scheduling a campus Getting In Without Freaking Out, Education Savings Plan Trust visit is a great way to see whether by Arlene Matthews 529 plan and Indiana offers the a school is truly a good fit. “Try to CollegeChoice 529 account. Assets visit while the students are there, in the student’s name are weighed much more heavily in EFC because a campus feels totally different in the summer than calculations, and experts recommend that parents fund their when it’s full of students,” says Lauri Lee, whose daughter is own retirement first. Ultimately, each family and student must now in law school. decide how much they’re willing to pay for college and how To give families and students the most options, Parsons much debt they’re willing to incur, but the opportunity to go to recommends applying to 6 to 12 colleges: a mix of solid schools college is out there for every student. (where they’ll get in, get a good financial aid package, and will happily attend), safety schools (an academic and financial sure Letting Them Go thing where they’d rather not go), and stretch schools (where We attended parent-teacher conferences, took our kids to they could only dream of going). “You only do this once,” she soccer practice, helped fill out their college applications, and says, “so why not dream big? Let’s put that dream school on wrote the tuition check. Then comes the day they actually go, the list and see what happens.” Once those acceptance letters and that may turn out to be the hardest part of the journey. As come in, let your child go on an overnight campus visit and sit in difficult as it may be, we have to trust that we’ve prepared our on some classes to help zero in on the right choice. kids well and just let them go. That’s what Traci Shaw did when she dropped her oldest child off at college last year. “I’m putting Paying for College the ball in your court,” she said to her daughter, “and as much as College costs have gotten prohibitively high. But the I want to call you every minute, I can’t do that. Because that’s not truth is that the majority of students receive some form of fair to you, and that’s not what this experience is about.” financial aid (a combination of scholarships, grants, loans, So let’s remember what this process is about: It’s not about and work study) to help make up the difference between where our children go or what they do, it’s about giving them the cost of attendance and what their families can actually the opportunity to grow into adulthood and find their own way. pay. And better-funded private schools can sometimes offer And that means letting them spread their wings, fall down more generous packages than their less-expensive public occasionally, and learn to pick themselves up on their own counterparts, which is why Parsons recommends applying terms. And if we’ve done our jobs well, they’ll always know to both types. To get a sense of how much we might be that we’re only a phone call away. After all, isn’t that what expected to pay, we can calculate our Expected Family being a parent is all about? Contribution (EFC) online. The EFC is derived from a formula that takes into consideration the parents’ (and student’s) Yelena Sapin lives in Goshen with her husband Alex and income and assets as reported on the Free Application for daughters Zoe (13) and Emma (10). She is a frequent contributor to Today’s Family. Federal Student Aid (FAFSA) form. Most schools require 34 J u n e / J u l y 2 0 1 1 t o d a y ’ s F A M I L Y


Family Finds

Family Finds Steve-o Magic

We are busy working on the next issue and would like to include your business! Contact us to find out how. Call 502-327-8855 and ask for the Advertising Department

Make your child’s birthday one to remember with a magic show by Steve-o. With funny, colorful and engaging magic, the show will feature your birthday boy or girl as the star. Your child will thank you for their best birthday ever!

w w w . t o d a y s f a m i l y m a g . c o m


Little Treasures Kid’s Sale

Looking for a smarter way to shop for your kids? Look no further than Little Treasures Kid’s Sale, the area’s leading seasonal consignment event held every March and August. We promise brand names and BIG savings on anything and everything for baby, big kid, teen and maternity.

Get in on the fun:

J u n e / J u l y

2 0 1 1


CALENDAR Pinkalicious

A little girl named Pinkalicious can’t stop eating pink cupcakes. She eats so many that her dream comes true, and she turns pink! Enjoy this new musical based on the New York Times bestseller. WHEN~ through June 25 WHERE~ Derby Dinner Playhouse COST~ $16/breakfast; $21/lunch CONTACT~ 812.288.2632

Flame Run’s Glass Carnival

Flame Run Glass Studio and Gallery will introduce children to the wonders of contemporary art glass and raise money for the Children’s Hospital Foundation. The show will include glass art that kids can recognize and appreciate as well as ice cream vendors, balloon animals, face painting, and giant 4-foot popsicles at the Flame Run entrance. WHEN~ June 3-July 30 WHERE~ Flame Run, 828 E. Market St. COST~ Free CONTACT~ 502.584.5353

Day Out With Thomas

Everyone’s favorite No. 1 engine is right on track! This fun-filled event offers little engineers and their families the opportunity to take a ride with Thomas the Tank Engine, meet and greet Sir Topham Hatt, and participate in activities for the whole family. WHEN~ June 11-12 WHERE~ Kentucky Railway Museum, 136 S. Main St., New Haven, KY 40051 COST~ $18/everyone 2 and older CONTACT~ 800.272.0152

of events


Photos should be sent in high resolution to with “calendarphotos” in the subject line. You will need to include your name, phone number, and mailing address. Keep in mind you need to think ahead. If it is an activity they enjoy in the summer, you will need to send it two months ahead. Go to our website at www.todaysfamilymag. com for more information. Shrek the Musical

Shrek the Musical tells the story of a swamp-dwelling ogre who goes on a life-changing adventure to reclaim the deed to his land. Joined by a wisecracking donkey, this unlikely hero fights a fearsome dragon, rescues a feisty princess and learns that real friendship and true love aren’t only found in fairy tales. WHEN~ June 7-12 WHERE~ Kentucky Center COST~ $ 22.50- $71.50

Cirque du Soleil: Alegría

Cirque du Soleil’s Alegría showcases breathtaking acrobatics from an international cast of 55 performers. Acts include the Synchro Trapeze and the intense, high-energy Aerial High Bars. The vibrancy of youth is alive in Power Track, a brilliant display of synchronized choreography and tumbling on a trampoline system hidden under the stage floor. In Russian Bars, artists fly through the air and perform spectacular somersaults and mid-air turns, landing on bars perched on the sturdy shoulders of catchers. WHEN~ June 9-12 WHERE~ KFC Yum! Center COST~ $ 35- $ 90 CONTACT~ 1.800.745.3000


Win More Prizes on Facebook!

Don’t miss out on a summer full of events and goodies! Starting June 7, go to our facebook for a chance to win four tickets to the Louisville Zoo and Louisville Slugger gift certificates. Find out more details at Scientific Proofs: Mythological Creatures

The fantasy realm of Narnia is filled with fantastic creatures of all sorts, many of which have a long history of literary and cultural relevance. Visit the Louisville Science Center for a closer look

continued on page 38

Take center stage as a Today’s Girl! Today’s Family magazine is accepting entries for an essay contest for the Today’s Girl award, which will be given to three girls in different age groups (ages 7-8. 9-10, and 11-12). The personal essays should be less than 300 words and should answer the question, “Which American Girl do you have the most in common with and why?” The essays should be written by the girl and be in the girl’s voice. Essays will be judged on content, originality, and the girl’s level of community involvement.

Each winner will receive 2 tickets to the American Girl Fashion Show Tea opening night October 7. Winners will also be featured in Today’s Family magazine. 36

J u n e / J u l y

2 0 1 1

t o d a y ’ s


w w w . t o d a y s f a m i l y m a g . c o m

J u n e / J u l y

2 0 1 1


take ing ped

at re ature e toric ead 9.

continued from page 32 at the new exhibit The Chronicles of Narnia: The Exhibition. Why do sea monsters garner more attention than verified examples of amazing aquatic adaptations, such as giant squid and 50-foot long oarfish? Explore the fantastic creatures in the fantasy realm of Narnia, examine real-life examples of unusual creatures, learn whether our brains are wired to believe in monsters, and much more. WHEN~ 6-7:30pm,
June 10 WHERE~ Louisville Science Center COST~ Free, but reservations required CONTACT~ 502.560.7130 or email

Summer Braille Workshop for Kids

Be inspired by the story of Louis Braille, who was only 12 years old when he began work on the writing system that changed the lives of blind people all over the world. Learn the basics of Louis’ alphabet and practice writing on a Braille slate and a Braillewriter. Advanced

students will learn more about Braille contractions and whole word signs as well as how to write music and do math with Braille. Admission is free, but registration is required. Children in grades 1-3 must be accompanied by an adult. Visit for more information. WHEN~ 10am-noon, June 11 WHERE~ The Museum at the American Printing House for the Blind,
1839 Frankfort Ave. CONTACT~ 502.899.2213

Louisville Festival of the Arts

The 4th Annual Louisville Festival of the Arts at The Summit will showcase the work of 150 of the finest artists in the country, including top local talent from Louisville. Each day of the festival will feature interactive activities for children on The Terrace, including professional storytelling and arts and crafts. WHEN~ June 11-12,10am to 5pm WHERE~ The Summit COST~ Free CONTACT~

Super Hero Contest

The winners of our Super Hero Essay Contest joined Spiderman to ride in the Derby Festival Parade. The winners are Kathryn Boroughs, 10; Baylor Barnum, 9; Liz Johnson, 8; Nathan Very, 7; and Abby Brauch, 6. Bernheim’s ECO Kids Discovery Days: Summer Symmetry

With its tilted axis and long daylight hours, the summer solstice marks an important day for planet Earth. Children and their families will investigate the scientific wonders of summer through the On-Your-Own Challenge, available in the Visitor Center from 9am-5pm, and Discovery Stations, available at the Visitor Center from 1-4pm. WHEN~ June 18 WHERE~ Bernheim Visitor’s Center, 2499 Kentucky 245, Clermont, Ky. COST~ Free (Non-members regular $ 5 weekend environmental impact fee applies) CONTACT~ 502.955.8512

Father’s Day Weekend at the Zoo

Get ready for some great summer fun this Father’s Day at the new Glacier Run exhibit at the Louisville Zoo. Special guest SpongeBob SquarePants™ of Nickelodeon will be visiting all the way from Bikini Bottom to help the Zoo Crew host this one-of-a-kind event. Enjoy a fun and educational scavenger hunt that will introduce you to some of the Zoo’s proud papas. Be sure to bring your camera — SpongeBob SquarePants will be available to have his photo taken with guests. WHEN~ Noon-4pm, June 18 & 19 WHERE~ Louisville Zoo, 1100 Trevilian Way COST~ Zoo admission CONTACT~ 502.459.2181

Waterfront Independence Festival

Waterfront Indy Fest is Louisville’s premier July 4 celebration. More than 150,000 people attend the event each year, which features concerts by national recording artists, children’s activities, a festival food garden, and fireworks over the Ohio River both nights. Bring blankets and lawn chairs and celebrate Independence Day on the waterfront. WHEN~ July 3-4 WHERE~ Great Lawn, Festival Plaza & Harbor Lawn COST~ Free CONTACT~ 502.574.3768

Blackacre’s Campfire, S’mores and More

Summer is the perfect time for a sunset hike and toasted marshmallows. Volunteer Mark Myers will take visitors on an evening hike at Blackacre, which he will round off with a campfire, stories and s’mores-making. Meet in front of the Presly Tyler House. WHEN~ 7pm, July 9 WHERE~ Blackacre State Nature Preserve and Historic Homestead,
3200 Tucker Station Road COST~ Free for members, $ 3/guest or $ 5/family CONTACT~ 502.266.9802

Jane Austen Festival Children’s Tea

Children ages 4-12 and parents are encouraged to don their best 19 th-century apparel for this special tea-time experience at the Jane Austen Festival. Enjoy tea or juice, tea sandwiches, scones, fruit kabobs, and cookies while learning about tea etiquette. Children can also take a photo with Mr. Darcy and Miss Elizabeth Bennett from Pride and Prejudice. Children must be accompanied by an adult.


WHEN~ 3:45pm, July 10 WHERE~ Historic Locust Grove, 561 Blankenbaker Lane, Saint Matthews COST~ $15/child, $20/adult in addition to festival admission of $4/children 6-12, $10/adult and free for children under 6. CONTACT~ 502.897.9845 J u n e / J u l y

2 0 1 1

t o d a y ’ s




Maternity/BabY (continued)

Adoption Bridges

Meredith-Dunn School

Choose A Gender

A non-profit adoption agency providing full services for birth parents and adoptive parents. Please visit our website at and see us on Facebook and YouTube.

Meredith-Dunn School is an independent school that offers prescriptive education for students with learning differences in grades 1-8. We help children with learning differences develop academically, socially and emotionally. We value each child as an individual with unique strengths, weaknesses and learning patterns. So, we personalize each child’s instruction and create an environment rich in learning, growing, and confidence-building opportunities. We believe in the potential of all learners. Meredith-Dunn School is recognized as a School of Distinction, by the All Kinds of Minds Institute. Contact us for additional information about our school, tutoring, and diagnostic services.

Have you ever wondered if there was a way to influence the gender of your next child? Choose A Gender, LLC. allows families to do just that. We offer a laboratory procedure that can increase the odds of producing a male or female child at an affordable cost. Our website contains information on our process, other gender selection methods, costs, forms to get started, and contact information to submit any questions you may have about our services. Since gender selection is possible, there is a demand for the service. Some of the reasons for using a gender selection service include: Family Balancing or the process of bringing the number of children of each gender in one family closer to equal.

3023 Melbourne Avenue., Louisville, KY 40220 • 502.456.5819 •

8814 Linn Station Rd. (40222) • 502.767.1942 • www. •

1215 So. 3rd St., Louisville, KY 40203 • 502.636.1358 •

Sproutlings Pediatric Day Care & Preschool

Clark Memorial Hospital Family Birth Place


502.509.3336 • •

Sproutlings was purposefully designed to provide an extraordinary place, with state-of-the-art resources, where every child can feel cared for, comfortable, safe and stimulated. Sproutlings is also a place where parents can feel at ease and confident with the care of their children. We offer extended evening hours and are even open on Saturdays to ensure we meet your needs. Our unique approach begins with our designation as a referral-based Prescribed Pediatric Extended Care center for up to 55 medically fragile children. It continues with our integration of traditional day care and preschool services for up to 55 children, ages 6 weeks through teen years, without special needs. We proudly offer comprehensive care and development programs for children of all abilities. Conveniently located in Crescent Hill, Sproutlings is part of the Masonic Homes’ Louisville campus. With more than 13,000 sq. ft. of space, Sproutlings provides a comfortable, inviting and happy place for children to thrive. Register today and save!


3701 Frankfort Avenue • Louisville, KY 40207 • 502.753.8222 •

Clark Memorial Hospital Family Birth Place 1220 Missouri Ave., Jeffersonville, IN 47130 • 812.283.6631 •


Norton Women’s Pavilion

401 West Main St #1710, (40202) • 502.585.4369 • 1.800.542.5245 • •


Community Coordinated Child Care, Inc (4-C) 4-C is the central point of contact for community child care needs and serves as a VOICE FOR CHILDREN and families. Call or visit our website if you are looking for child care, and/or need help in paying for child care.

Little Treasures Kid’s Sale Area’s most anticipated kid’s consignment event held every March and August. Parents can earn money on the things their kids have outgrown and save up to 90% on new and delicately used brand name items. For more information about the sale, visit 502.541.4446 •


Barefoot Books We specialize in multicultural, earth-friendly children’s books that celebrate art, story, imagi­na­tion, and creativity. Fundraising is available for schools and churches. We have great gifts for classroom birthday parties, special occasions, and showers.

St. James Catholic School Come soar above with St. James Elementary and Monsignor Horrigan Pre-School/Pre-K Programs! We encourage and support the development of every child by enhancing a positive self-image through education. 1818 Edenside Avenue • 502.454.0330, Ext. 11 •

Marshall Women’s Health & Education Ctr. Free wellness classes, health risk assessments, pre­ ven­tion info and education, to navigation and physician referral services. We’re meeting needs of women of all ages–adolescence to menopause. Created to empower women to take charge of their health. Norton Medical Plaza III - Suburban, #108, 4121 Dutch­ mans Ln. • 502.629.1234 •


Follow and register for Contests on: View entire magazine:

The Family Birth Place offers expectant parents a personalized birth experience. With spacious labor and delivery suites, in-room waiting areas, and garden tubs, the Family Birth Place has the ambience of a luxury hotel. Providing quality care to mom and baby is of utmost importance, that’s why the Family Birth Place promotes Kangaroo Care, the practice of a mother holding her baby skin-to-skin, and Quiet Time. Clark Memorial is also the only hospital in the area to have two Certified Nurse Midwives on staff and an on-site Breastfeeding Center staffed by a Certified Lactation Consultant. Childbirth Classes – Prepared Childbirth, Lamaze, Breastfeeding, Brothers and Sisters To Be, Infant CPR and Safety, and Doula Night. A complete class schedule is on our website. Breastfeeding Center – Breastfeeding supplies including bras, pads, and pumps for purchase. Breast pump rental, free weight checks for baby, and individual consultations. Hours: 10 a.m. – 2 p.m. Monday – Saturday. Phone: 812.283.2901

Norton Women’s Pavilion is here for you, from free prenatal classes to breast-feeding support and every­thing in between. Because of our specialized services, more expectant parents choose to deliver their babies with us than any other birthing facility in the region. Norton Hospital • 200 E. Chestnut St., 40202 Norton Suburban Hospital • 4001 Dutchmans Ln., 40207 502.629.1234 •

Babyology Breastfeeding Resource Center & Boutique


We rent and sell a full line of breast pumps, maternity/nursing bras 32B to 50L, nursing covers, baby carriers, and a lot of unique mommy/baby gift items. If you need help, we also offer lactation consults by IBCLCs, latch checks, and more. Plus, we offer FREE weight checks and Gift Registry. Classes — Free Mom’s support group, Lamaze, Breastfeeding, Cloth Diapering, Introducing Solids, and many other classes. Complete listing of classes on our website: Baby Showers — For facility rental and planning information contact Andrea at andrea@lyricalhands. com or 502.640.9698. Hours M-F 9a-7p & Sat. 9a-6p.

Women taking care of women. At Women First of Louisville, professional women in all stages of life, career and motherhood take care of other women who are balancing the same issues. So we’ve built our medical practice by focusing on women first, in everything we do. We offer comprehensive care for women with many innovative technologies and even surgeries available right in the office. Our services include digital mammography, osteoporosis screening, OB/GYN ultrasounds, genetic and preconception counseling, high risk obstetrics, lactation counseling, urinary incontinence testing /surgery, sterilization, minimally-invasive GYN surgeries, menopause counseling and hormonal therapy management. We make it easy, too, with our on-line patient portal so you can pre-register and schedule appointments, pay your bill on-line, and renew prescriptions — all though our website We know you take care of a lot. At Women First, we take care of you. Find out more about us on-line or call and set up a new patient appointment.

3934 Dutchmans Ln., Louisville, KY 40207 • 502.721.7727 •

Reach more than 99,000 readers. Advertising rates as low as $50. For more information call 502.327.8855 or email

Women First of Louisville, PLLC

Baptist East Medical Pavilion • 3900 Kresge Way, Suite 30 (40207) • 502.891.8700 •


By KRISTINA JORGENSEN HARRIGAN, m.eD. • Photos by Melissa Donald Do you know a playgroup we should feature? If so, send an email to Put “playgroup” in the subject line.


Playgroup How did the Derby City Bookies begin? Before he started kindergarten, Jack Heil, founder Ali Lutch’s oldest son, asked a simple question. If Mom had a book club for her friends, why wasn’t there a book club for Jack? Who does the book club include? The book club includes Ali’s sons and friends from the boys’ classrooms at Field Elementary School. Right now the group is holding firm with 11 families, but the number ebbs and flows with the changing of schedules, sports, and holidays. How are the books chosen for the group? The kids choose them at the beginning of the school year. What have previous meetings included? Past meetings have included The Diary of a Wimpy Kid series, complete with brown bag 40

J u n e / J u l y

2 0 1 1

snacks and a survival guide written by students for students of Field Elementary, The Little House series, books about Helen Keller with a trip to the Kentucky School for the Blind, and books about the Kentucky Derby with a trip to the Derby Museum (pictured above). Favorite meeting: While reading the Ready Freddy book series, the kids created their group T-shirts that they wear to most meetings. They were also encouraged to write to the author, and the publisher responded with a thank you note and free books. How do members keep up with the book club? Through a password-protected web page at This enables pictures of the group and any work the kids do to be posted without worry.

The derby city bookies • Soha al-Hindawy, 6 • Tayma al-Hindawy, 9 • Henry Bosco, 9 • Abigail, Brigid, and Caroline Harrigan, 7 • Megan Harrigan, 10 • Malique Hawkins, 9 • Abraham, Dylan and Zane Heil, 7 • Jack Heil, 9 • Tobias Heil, 2 • Addy Lancaster, 10 • Madeline Martin, 8 • Anamaria Matasaru, 10 • Corina Matasaru, 5 • Liliana Matasaru, 8 • Eric Schmidt, 10 • Matthew Schmidt, 7 • Emma Schweitzer, 7 • Lily Schweitzer, 10 • Margaret Streeter, 7 • Edward Streeter, 9 t o d a y ’ s