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JANUARY 18, 2017 | AHWATUKEE FOOTHILLS NEWS
Mountain Pointe High grad seeking people who lost a parent when they were young BY PAUL MARYNIAK AFN Executive Editor
M
ichelle Shreeve will never forget the loss that struck her to her core when she was 9
years old. Now, nearly a quarter century after the 2003 Mountain Pointe High School graduate lost her mother, Shreeve is on a mission to write a book that will help other youngsters deal with the death of a parent. “There was only one book I could find to try and help me navigate what I was supposed to do next,” said Shreeve, a San Francisco native who moved to Ahwatukee in 1998, five years after her mother passed away. “The book was about motherless daughters, but it was not a book for a 9-year-old to try and comprehend,” she recalled. “I had to figure out a lot on my own, and by doing so came a lot of mistakes along the way. I am thankful that I didn’t make any serious or costly ones, but I definitely know what my weaknesses are now as a person. As I grew up, I kept looking for books that spoke to parentless teens, but even to this day there really isn’t one that speaks to teens in their voice.” It has not been as easy a task as she anticipated. She is searching for two kinds of people to provide the authenticity of enough real-life experiences that will bring comfort and guidance to the youngsters she wants to help. But so far, she has had trouble finding either adults who recall how they dealt with losing a parent at an early age or teens who can articulate how they are coping with such a loss. The freelance writer may be familiar to some readers of the Ahwatukee Foothills
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News. For several years, she wrote an Looking back, I felt like I was 9 going advice column, called “Ask Mikey,” that on 30, trying to navigate life without was directed at teenagers. her. She was a gentle soul, very kind and With a bachelor’s degree in psychology sweet. She had a beautiful smile, and and two master’s degrees, in English everyone loved her. Twenty-four years and creative writing, Shreeve sees the later, and people are still talking about book as natural progression from those her, remembering her laugh, and still advice columns, though this time she miss her.” wants to focus specifically on helping “I miss her so much and life has never youngsters deal been the same since with the devastation she passed away,” that a parent’s death she added. usually inflicts. She recalled “I started out meeting classmates wanting to be a in middle and high psychologist, but school who had then realized I could experienced the help so many more same loss. people through the While she power of writing,” found consolation she said. “That’s in reading and when I dove right playing basketball into writing, and as a youngster, haven’t looked back she said, “I also ever since.” found consolation She talks about through helping her mom as if the others—offering (Special to AFN) loss didn’t occur all advice, mentoring Ahwatukee native Michelle Shreeve is hoping that long ago. teens. I volunteered connect with people who lost a parent “We were best to a lot throughout when they were young for a book she is writfriends. She would ing to help youngsters who are dealing with high school and take me to the such loss now. even lettered scholastic book fairs in community and let me read to my heart’s content,” service. she recalled. “By helping others with what they “On Friday nights, we had a girl’s were struggling with, or mentoring a tradition where we would watch T.G.I.F. teen who lost their way, it helped not together and then paint our nails. Now, only take my mind off of my situation, I can’t even begin to attempt to paint my but I felt better knowing I was helping nails without making them look like a them get through theirs. I especially 2-year-old painted them.” helped children and teens who lost a “My mother was extremely sick, and parent.” She recalls one young girl who had was a fighter,” Shreeve said. “ When she died, we all didn’t see it coming despite lost her mom and found little support the fact that she was sick. The day that for her grief at home. “She struggled with everything for she died was also the day that I grew up.
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years, but miraculously managed to stay on a good path, just making characterjudgment mistakes of people she came into contact with,” Shreeve explained. “She was so nice that people would often take advantage of her. This little girl is now an adult, and she fought hard to stay on a positive path to become the successful young woman she is today. She is my hero for how strong she is.” Several years ago, she came upon a book series aimed at helping teens cope with major issues in life and noticed none of the volumes dealt with the death of a parent. She wrote to the editor, who liked her idea, and she has a tentative contract to write the book. “In the book, I have been including voices of teens and young adults who have lost one or both of their parents at a young age. They have been brave enough to come forward and either share their story or offer advice to teens who have just recently become parentless,” she said. But Shreeve needs at least a dozen more subjects and has encountered an unexpected reluctance among many she’s talked to. “I think deep down inside, parentless children everywhere want to help, but depending on what stage of grief they are experiencing, it might not be the right time for them to get to the point where they can share their story,” she said, adding: “Sharing your story is hard. We all have a story, but it is hard to share that side of ourselves sometimes—the side when we experienced something that changed us forever. Yet, what people don’t realize, is that sometimes having the courage to share your story, for the
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