parentlife
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:PTWS` : 4: for  your  90,5+: [V c ha Compe nce  to  win tition  en ds  13  Marc h  2013
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revor  and  I  attended  the  course  when  our  JOPSKYLU ^LYL HUK >L ^HU[LK [V LX\PW ourselves  with  the  skills  necessary  for  raising  teenagers.  We  knew  we’d  need  them  to  cope  with  the  physical  and  emotional  changes  our  children  were  going  through.  >L SV]LK [OL JV\YZL HZ P[ ^HZ ^LSS YV\UKLK )HZLK on  biblical  values  and  featuring  both  live  speakers  HUK +=+Z P[ JV]LYLK H OVZ[ VM [VWPJZ MYVT OVYTVUHS changes  and  modern  pressures  to  helping  your  teen  NYV^ PU[V H YLZWVUZPISL HK\S[ >L OHK H J\W VM JVɈLL or  tea  when  we  arrived,  listened  to  a  talk,  watched  a  +=+ HUK IYVRL \W PU[V ZTHSS NYV\WZ [V KPZJ\ZZ ^OH[ ^L OHK Q\Z[ OLHYK 4LL[PUN WHYLU[Z NVPUN [OYV\NO similar  challenges  was  an  added  bonus  –  there’s  something  very  therapeutic  about  knowing  your  situation  isn’t  unique! ;OPZ NLULYH[PVU VM JOPSKYLU PZ L_WVZLK [V JOHSSLUNing  issues  such  as  drugs,  alcohol  and  other  vices, Â
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QVPULK [OL JV\YZL ^OLU T` JOPSKYLU ^LYL HUK ZL]LU ILJH\ZL 0 MLS[ 0 ULLKLK [V I\PSK up  my  parenting  skills  now  that  I  had  a  teenHNLY PU [OL OV\ZL 4` KH\NO[LY OHK OP[ [LLUagehood  with  minimum  fuss  and  was  sailing  along  happily,  but  I  wanted  to  learn  how  to  negotiate  this  new  arena  as  the  dynamics  of  our  relationship  changed.  6UL VM [OL [OPUNZ 0 SPRLK HIV\[ [OL JV\YZL ^HZ [OH[ P[ VɈLYLK PUZWPYH[PVU VU OV^ [V KLHS ^P[O ]HYPV\Z ZP[\H[PVUZ HUK NH]L TL JVUĂ„KLUJL [OH[ 0 ^HZUÂť[ ILPUN [VV SLUPLU[ VY [VV Z[YPJ[ -VY PUZ[HUJL ^L ULLKLK to  learn  how  to  negotiate  a  choice  of  movies,  or  ^LLRLUK WHY[` J\YML^Z ;OL JV\YZL OLSWLK [V LX\PW TL [V IL H IL[[LY ÂşVUS` WHYLU[Âť ZPUJL [OL SVZZ VM T` husband  in  2008.  Its  appeal  was  that  it  emphasised  wholesome  family  values  while  still  acknowledging  KPɈLYLU[ WHYLU[PUN Z[`SLZ All  the  facilitators  were  experienced  parents  who  ^LYL M\Y[OLY HSVUN [OL WHYLU[PUN QV\YUL` ;OL` shared  from  personal  experience  and  their  insights  ^LYL ]LY` OLSWM\S ;OL MHJ[ [OH[ L]LY`VUL \UKLY[VVR JVUĂ„KLU[PHSP[` K\YPUN [OL ZTHSS NYV\W ZLZZPVUZ
Parenting  Teens  is  run  intermittently  I` *OYPZ[ *O\YJO 2LUPS^VY[O ^^^ JOYPZ[ JO\YJO VYN aH WHO’S  IT  FOR?  Any  parent  of  a  teenHNLY VY WYL [LLU `LHYZ VSK MYVT HU` WHY[ VM *HWL ;V^U ^OV ^V\SK SPRL [V Z[YLUN[OLU their  relationship  with  their  teen.  No  need  to  be  a  church  member!
and  parents  often  don’t  know  how  to  help  them  navigate  life  and  still  come  out  on  top.  We  wanted  [V THRL Z\YL V\YZ OHK [OL [VVSZ [OL`ÂťK ULLK ;OL course  taught  us  the  importance  of  providing  our  teens  with  a  loving  space  where  they  would  feel  safe  HUK HJJLW[LK ;OPZ IVVZ[LK [OLPY JVUĂ„KLUJL SL]LSZ because  they  knew  we  loved  them,  no  matter  how  they  behaved.  Â
empathy We’d  always  believed  children  had  to  listen  to  their  parents,  but  never  realised  we  needed  to  listen  to  them,  too.  We  began  to  allow  them  to  interact  with  us  and  voice  their  opinions  more.  Learning  to  listen  and  express  empathy  for  your  teenagers’  feelings  PZ [OL IHZPZ VM NVVK JVTT\UPJH[PVU ;OHURZ [V [OL JV\YZL V\Y YLSH[PVUZOPW ^P[O V\Y JOPSKYLU KLĂ„UP[LS` improved.’ Â
>VUP[H 7L[LYZLU ZJPLU[PÄJ YLZLHYJO VɉJLY HUK OLY O\ZIHUK ;YL]VY I\PSKPUN WYVQLJ[ THUHNLY VM 4LHKV^YPKNL ZPNULK \W for  the  course  in  2008
created  an  atmosphere  where  one  could  talk  JHUKPKS` HIV\[ VULÂťZ WHYLU[PUN JOHSSLUNLZ ;OL Âş[HRL OVTL X\LZ[PVUÂť OLSWLK TL [OPUR HIV\[ ^OH[ I  was  learning,  and  gave  me  the  opportunity  to  put  [OL SLZZVUZ PU[V WYHJ[PJL 4` KH\NO[LY HWWYLJPH[LK [OL ÂşOVTL^VYRÂť 0 ^HZ NL[[PUN ILJH\ZL P[ NH]L OLY reassurance  that  I  was  taking  the  changing  relationship  seriously. Â
freedom ;OL OHYK WHY[ HZ H WHYLU[ ^HZ SLHYUPUN [V HSSV^ one’s  teenagers  more  freedom,  and  the  space  to  take  responsibility  for  their  own  decisions. ;OL JV\YZL NH]L TL PUZWPYH[PVU PUZPNO[ HUK LUcouragement.  A  parent  can  easily  get  distracted  by  HSS [OL ºUVPZL MYVT H I\Z` OV\ZLOVSK HUK MVYNL[ [V focus  on  the  long-term  goal  of  helping  teenagers  NYV^ PU[V ^LSS HKQ\Z[LK YLZWVUZPISL HUK JVUÄKLU[ young  adults  able  to  make  their  way  in  the  world.  It  reminded  me  of  the  importance  of  a  consistent,  loving  home  environment,  good  values  and  healthy  relationships  in  achieving  this  goal.’
WHY  DO  IT? º0[Z H NYLH[ VWWVY[\UP[` [V stop  and  think  about  some  of  the  challenges  that  we  face  as  parents,’  says  co-ordinator  /PSHY` 2LYY º@V\ SLHYU [V I\PSK OLHS[O` relationships  with  your  teenager,  as  well  as  having  time  to  work  through  tricky  issues.  It’s  also  good  to  know  you’re  not  alone  in  your  parental  challenges!’
/tSuUL ]HU KLY 4LY^L )HURZ HYJOP[LJ[ VM 4V^IYH` H[[LUKLK [OL JV\YZL PU
THE  NEXT  COURSE  will  be  held  K\YPUN [OL UK [LYT Z[HY[PUN [O 4H` ;PTL! œ WT *VZ[! 9 WLY WLYZVU VY 9 WLY JV\WSL HZZPZ[HUJL H]HPSHISL PM JVZ[ PZ HU PZZ\L -VY TVYL PUMV JVU[HJ[ /PSHY` 2LYY VU ;V IVVR JVU[HJ[ :\L 7LUaOVYU VU Z\L'JJR VYN aH VY thislife.org.za    |    issue  7     27