Page 1

Issue 7

thislife

FREE www.thislife.org.za

in search  of  meaning

HOW I  SAY   SORRY  AT  THE   OFFICE  -

South Africans   around  the  globe

WIN!

A weekend  away,   perfumes,  children’s   pizzafest  and  loads  more...

HOT TIPS  FOR   HUSBANDS!

Rondebosch housemates  

TEENS vs  PARENTS making  it  all  better

spill the   beans

Easiest ice-cream

look, no  machine!

PENNY HEYNS on Chad  le  Clos

stories of  hope      l    local  living    l    contemporary  faith


05

contents ON  THE  COVER *V]LYWOV[VZI`!;VU`H/LZ[LY4LY^LSLUL]HUKLY4LY^L

06    sportymoment  Penny  Heyns  on  chocolate  and  Chad  le  Clos 08     studentrap  Rondebosch  housemates  spill  the  beans  on  life  in  digs 09     foodielife  Easiest  ever  ice-cream 20     worklife/V^0ZH`ZVYY`H[[OLVMÄJL!:V\[O(MYPJHUZHYV\UK[OLNSVIL 25     lovelife  Hot  tips  for  husbands!   26     parentlife7HYLU[Z]Z[LLUZ!THRPUNP[IL[[LY

AND  THE  REST 04     younglife  Why  parents  shouldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t  text,  and  WIN  a  pizzafest! 05     locallife4LL[[OL<*;THUĂ&#x201E;NO[PUNTHSHYPHHUKMHIZOVWWPUN 10     dailylife  Pippa  Shaper  pushes  through  personal  tragedy  to  help  

25

            Cape  Townâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  children 13     betterlife  How  to  be  a  fabulous  friend 14     mylife  How  Shaun  Shelly  beat  addiction   18     photomoment  A  moment  of  joy 23     coolstories)\PSKPUNHZZLZZVY9VIPU>PSSPHTZĂ&#x201E;UKZOVWLHUKHW\YWVZL 24   hotmedia)VVRZHUKTV]PLZ*HWL[VUPHUZYLJVTTLUK 28     infomoment  courses/groups/support  for  YOU 29     marketplace3VJHSJSHZZPĂ&#x201E;LKZ 

32    retailtherapy  Marvellous  gifts  you  feel    

great  about  buying

790A,:!  up  for  grabs  in  this  issue Â&#x2039;   Â&#x2039;   Â&#x2039;   Â&#x2039;   Â&#x2039;   Â&#x2039;  

PIZZAS  AND  ICE-CREAM  FOR  4  CHILDREN   donated  by  Bruegels  Pizza  Studio  p4 TWO  NIGHTSâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;  SELF-CATERING  STAY  FOR  A  FAMILY  OF   FOURKVUH[LKI`2SVVMaPJO[,Z[H[LW HIS  AND  HER  FRAGRANCES   donated  by  Edge  by  Brandon  Berg  p5   NIGHT  AWAY  FOR  TWO  PLUS  BREAKFAST   donated  by  La  Petite  Dauphine  p17 A  30  MINUTE  BLOKART  â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;SAILâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;  ON  LAND   KVUH[LKI`)SVRHY[W BREAKFAST  OR  LUNCH  FOR  TWO   donated  by  Friends  CafĂŠ  p27

Want Â

[HRL[OLlasV\[VMSVVRPUN

Â&#x2039;  Â&#x2039;   Â&#x2039; Â&#x2039;   Â&#x2039;

thislife  delivered  

to  your  door?  We  are  free   I\[9^PSSJV]LYWVZ[HNL WHJRPUNMVYJVUZLJ\[P]L issues.  ,THPS! thislifemag@gmail.com

HARLEY  DAVIDSON  WHIRL  FOR  TWO   donated  by  Cape  Corporate  Tours  p20     A  WEEKâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S  BOOT  CAMP   donated  by  Adventure  Boot  Camp  for  Women  p13 SNATCH  :JYHIISLH[ZWLLKW ÂşUNSTOPPABLEâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;  BY  NICK  VUJICIC   KVUH[LKI`*<4)VVRZOVWZW DVD  â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;THE  VOWâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;  donated  by  Nu  Metro  p25    

CONGRATULATIONS  to  the  winners  from  our  last  issue:  

0HU+Y`(UKYLH(YVVTVVNHT4LSHUPH1VZPHZ:\ZHU)LU[SL`(UKYL^6]LYTL`LY4PSKYLK:HTWZVU(U[VUPH3LZLYPUR,KP[O4HRPUH:OLSI`;OVTZVU (UKYL(SL_HUKLY0HU+V]L[VU/HUULZ+VUHSKZVU4LYSL-LIY\HY`(]YPS 4\YWO`1\K`,UNSHUK3\J`>PSLTHU.HYY`]VU)YH[[:HSS`)PUNOHT1HUL[ 2UPNO[HUK/VWL/LUULZZ`

COMPETITIONS

A33*647,;0;065:05;/0:4(.(A05,,5+4(9*/9LHSS`ZVYY`PM`V\ÂťYLMYVTHMHYI\[HSSWYPaLZULLK[VILWPJRLK\W PU*HWL;V^U5VYTHS:4:YH[LZHWWS`ZVZVYY`MYLL:4:LZ^VUÂť[^VYR ;/,)6905.)<;;9<,)0;!Please  note  that  all  our  prizes,  including  the  physical  activities,  are  undertaken  entirely  at  your  own  risk:  we  canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t  accept  any   liability  whatsoever  for  any  damage  or  loss  you  may  incur.    Also,  we  may  use  your  name  in  the  next  issue  of  thislife  or  other  channels  for  publicity  purposes.    By   entering  any  thislife  competition,  you  accept  these  terms

CONTACT Â US

Want  to  give  input,  or  send  a  comment  or  question  to  anyone  who  wrote  in  this  magazine?         Â&#x2039;,THPS2H[`H[thislifemag@gmail.com Â&#x2039;7O`ZPJHSS`KLSP]LYHU`[OPUNTHYRP[Katy  @  thislife  mag[V:[1VOUÂťZ7HYPZO6É&#x2030;JL':\TTLYSL`9VHK2LUPS^VY[O [LS 

A  special  thank  you  to  Max  Bosanquet  and  Martin  Yodaiken  of  Cape  Photography  (www.capephotography.co.za)   who  lent  us  their  equipment  (again...) 02      thislife.org.za      |      issue  7      


/LSSV

 and  

you

our  editorial  team:  whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  not  to  love?

welcome to thislife  magazine!

UL]LYRUV^^OH[SPML»Z going  to  throw  at  you   and  neither  do  we  at   ,  weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve   learnt.  During  our  latest   JVTWL[P[PVUZV\YJVTW\[LYZZULHRPS`KLJPKLK[V send  a  small  number  of  you  a  message  saying  your   competition  entries  hadnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t  been  registered  â&#x20AC;&#x201C;  even   though  they  actually  had  been!  A  wailing  of  epic   WYVWVY[PVUZIYVRLV\[PUV\YVMÃ&#x201E;JLHZ^LWPJ[\YLK your  frustration.  Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re  truly  sorry,  and  hope  that  by   the  time  you  read  this,  all  affected  readers  will  have   accepted  our  caffeine-coated  apology  of  a  quality   cappuccino  â&#x20AC;&#x201C;  on  us.

thislife

But  frustrating  as  that  was  for  all  concerned,  there   are  greater  curve  balls  in  life  than  a  competition   NSP[JO(UKP[»ZHSS[OLTVYLYLTHYRHISL^OLUWLVWSL push  on  through  them  to  do  great  things.  Wynberg   TV[OLY7PWWH:OHWLY^VYRLK[OYV\NOWLYZVUHS tragedy  to  set  up  dozens  of  foster  homes  for   ]\SULYHISLJOPSKYLUW9VIPU>PSSPHTZ.YHZZ` 7HYRI\PSKPUNHZZLZZVYUV[/VSS`^VVKHJ[VYMV\UK hope  and  a  purpose  following  divorce  by  building   HJJVTTVKH[PVUH[H4HKHNHZJHUOVZWP[HSW And  Shaun  Shelly  overcame  a  long  and   devastating  drug  addiction  to  commit  his  life  to   JV\UZLSSPUNV[OLYHKKPJ[ZW(ZZVTLVULZHPK (though  there  seems  to  be  confusion  over  who,  

Â

Â

L_HJ[S`â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  never  too  late  to  become  the  person  

you  were  meant  to  beâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;. 4HU`*HWL[VUPHUZHSZVÃ&#x201E;UK[OL`JHUILJVTL[OH[ WLYZVUI`JVUULJ[PUN^P[O.VKHUK`V\»SSÃ&#x201E;UK WLVWSLVUV\YWHNLZ[HSRPUNHIV\[^OH[[OPZTLHUZ to  them  personally.   6MJV\YZL^LJHUHSZVÃ&#x201E;UKHSP[[SLOHWWPULZZPUPJL cream.  A  balanced  life,  and  all  that.  See  our   YPKPJ\SV\ZS`LHZ`UVTHJOPULYLJPWLVUW ;HRL heart,  oh  ye  of  little  domesticity.  No-one  would   dream  of  calling  me  a  domestic  goddess,  in  fact,  my   TV[OLYPUSH^ULHYS`OHKHOLHY[H[[HJRVMQV`^OLU ZOLZH^TLZL^PUNVUUHTL[HWLZSHZ[^LLR)\[ even  I  am  going  to  give  this  ice-cream  a  go  after   tasting  the  sample  we  made  up  for  our  shoot,  and   seeing  how  little  you  actually  have  to  do.  Just  one   Ã&#x2026;H^![OYLLKH`ZHM[LYLH[PUNP[`V\JV\SKILO\UNY` again.   Enjoy  your  life!

Katy  Macdonald Ed

PS  Want  to  model  for  us?  See  p8. PPS  Just  in  case  youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re  wondering,  this  

mag  is  anchored  by  a  cool  group  of  Anglican   JO\YJOLZPU*HWL;V^U^^^Z[QVOUZVYNaH

win Â

â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Likeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;  us  on  facebook  right  now  and  you  stand  a  chance  to   one  of  5  â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Hello  Loveâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;*+ZI`*OYPZ;VTSPUVY [OLTV]PLºJoyful  Noiseâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;JV\Y[LZ`VM4HYHUH[OH9LJVYKZHUK5\4L[YV

OUR  TEAM:  Editor  Katy  Macdonald  |  Strategic  planner  Dean  Hand  |  Picture/Production  editor  Tonya  Hester  |  Writers  Kendi  Mugambi,  Natasha  Curry,   )YVU^LU)V^TLY*SHPYL:[L]LUZVU1LZZ;HZRLYcDesigner  .^`U3\IILcAdditional  layout  Simone  Potter  |  Gift  page  co-ordinator  :HT4\UUPRcAdvertising/ marketing/distribution+LIIPL.YH`1HUL[L>H[LY5H\KL9LILJJH7HYY`4HY`/VSNH[L+LIIPL;O^HP[ZcConsultants  Brian  Burnett,  Angie  Tate,  Cindy  Webber To  advertise  with  usJVU[HJ[9LILJJHVUVYZHSLZ[OPZSPMLTHN'NTHPSJVT]PZP[^^^[OPZSPMLVYNaHVYHZRMVY3PUKHVU 

thislife.org.za     |      issue  7        03


younglife

Why parents

shouldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t  text

YOU  ASKED  IT

Q:   How  can  I  have  a  life  that  counts?     A:    @V\JHUOH]LHSPML[OH[THRLZHKPMMLYLUJLI` daring  to  be  honest!  For  example,  saying  no  to  

HNLYLZ[YPJ[LKZP[LZHUKTV]PLZUV[ILPUN\URPUKVY \UMHPY[VWLVWSLV]LY4_P[-HJLIVVRVYZTZV^UPUN\W when  youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve  done  something  wrong,  and  not  lying  about   OVTL^VYRSL[[PUNV[OLYZ\ZL`V\Y^VYR   @V\JHUHSZVTHRL`V\YSPMLJV\U[I`[YLH[PUNV[OLYZ^P[O respect,  whether  itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  your  parents,  friends,  teachers,   the  â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;coolâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;  group  or  the  not-so-cool,  even  the  people  who   bully  others.  The  golden  rule,  which  Jesus  gave,  is  to  treat   V[OLYZHZ`V\»KSPRL[VIL[YLH[LK`V\YZLSM)LPUNRPUK[V ZVTLVULLSZLPZU»[HS^H`ZLHZ`LZWLJPHSS`PMP[THRLZ `V\\UWVW\SHY0[[HRLZJV\YHNL[VILRPUK^OL[OLYP[»Z [VZVTLVUL^OV»Z\URPUK[V`V\VYZVTLVULV[OLYZHYL SLH]PUNV\[(ZR`V\YZLSM!^V\SK0SPRL[VIL[YLH[LKSPRL [OH[&(ZR.VK[VOLSW`V\[VILOVULZ[HUKRPUKHUK/L will  help  you. Answer  by  Barbara  Richardson,  childrenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  church  co-­ordinator   @  Christ  Church,  Kenilworth

WIN!

(WPaaHMLZ[^P[O`\TT`PJLJYLHT to  follow)  for  you  and  three  friends  at   )Y\LNLSZPU3P[[SL4V^IYH`:PTWS`:4: )9<,.,3:[VMVY`V\YJOHUJL[V^PU

>LHSZVOH]L[OYLLNHTLZVM:5(;*/ SPRL:JYHIISLI\[HSP[[SLTVYLHNNYV \WMVYNYHIZ:4::5(;*/[V [VLU[LY:UH[JOJHUHSZVIL VYKLYLKMYVT)LSPUKH   04     thislife.org.za      |      issue  7


locallife

Local  living whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  new  in  cape  town

All  features  on  this  page  are  genuine  editorial   comment  â&#x20AC;&#x201C;  thislife  does  not  do  advertorial  in   any  shape  or  form!

rejoice

meet  the  man  behind  the  team  which  may  have  found  a  breakthrough  

J\YLMVY(MYPJHÂťZ[VWRPSSLYTHSHYPH<*;WYVMLZZVY2LSS`*OPIHSLHUKOPZ[LHTOH]L KPZJV]LYLKHUL_JP[PUNUL^KY\N[OH[J\YLZTHSHYPHPUHUPTHSZ;YPHSZPUJVSSHIVYH[PVU with  international  partners  will  soon  start  testing  it  on  humans. 4HSHYPHRPSSZHJOPSKPU(MYPJHL]LY`TPU\[L<ZPUNHYLJLU[S`KPZJV]LYLKTVSLJ\SL [OL\UJH[JOPS`UHTLK44= 7YVM*OPIHSLHUKOPZ[LHTJVUJVJ[LKHVUJL VÉ&#x2C6;KVZL[OH[J\YLZ[OLKPZLHZLPUHUPTHSZ;OL[LHTPZOPNOS`VW[PTPZ[PJ[OH[[OL molecule  will  do  the  same  in  humans  â&#x20AC;&#x201C;  and  equally  importantly,  block  the  transmission  of  malaria  from  person  to  person  via  the  mosquito. 7YVM*OPIHSL^HZIVYUPUAHTIPHI\[OHZSP]LKPU*HWL;V^UMVY@LHYZ/PZ*= YLHKZSPRLHULUJ`JSVWLKPHHUKPUJS\KLZH7O+MYVT*HTIYPKNL<UP]LYZP[`HUKH >VYSK/LHS[O6YNHUPZH[PVUKPYLJ[VYZOPW/PZ^PML)LY[OHPZHJH[LYLYHUK[OL`OH]L [OYLLZVUZ!2HSHIHHWVSP[PJHSZJPLUJLZ[\KLU[":\^PSHUQPSHZ[`LHYÂťZKLW\[`OLHK VM:(*:/PNO:JOVVSHUKH[HSLU[LKY\NI`WSH`LY"HUK:LJOLSHUQPHW\WPSH[:(*: 1\UPVY;OLMHTPS`SP]LZPU*SHYLTVU[

Prof,  what  got  you  interested  in  trying  to  cure  malaria?  â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;I  wanted  to  use  my  talents  

shop Fab  Things  can  only  be  described  as  a  little  shop   VMQV`Z(ZTHSSOH]LUPU/HYĂ&#x201E;LSK=PSSHNLVÉ&#x2C6;LYPUNH whole  host  of  innovative  items  to  give  away  -  or  even   RLLWZULHRPS`MVY`V\YZLSM(UV[OLYYLHZVU[VI\`!  VM[OLZ[VJRPZ:V\[O(MYPJHUIVYUHUKIYLK 7V[[LY`JVVRIVVRZ[HISLHJJLZZVYPLZHUKQL^LSSLY`! theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re  all  fresh  and  funky  here.  And  donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t  worry,  they   HSZVOH]L4HU0[LTZ Âş-HI;OPUNZ believes  local  is   lekker,  and  not   Q\Z[SLRRLYI\[ pretty  amazing.   Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  our  passion  to   bring  you  the  best   and  most  beautifully  created  local   dĂŠcor  and  more,â&#x20AC;&#x2122;   ZH`ZV^ULY;YHJL` ;YL]LS`HUWYV\KS`

48  2nd  Avenue,   /HYĂ&#x201E;LSK=PSSHNL and  now  in  the   new  Newlands   Quarter  too.     021  672  2229.   =PL^[OLTVU facebook  

picture  by  www.chrishitchcock.co.za

Is  malaria  on  the  way  out?  Thanks  to  Kelly   Chibale,  it  could  well  be

MVY^OPJO0KPKUV[^VYRMVY[OLILULĂ&#x201E;[VMV[OLYZHUKMLS[P[PTWVY[HU[[OH[(MYPJHUZNL[ PU]VS]LKPUOLSWPUNĂ&#x201E;UKZVS\[PVUZ[V[OLPYOLHS[OWYVISLTZ0OVWL[VPUZWPYL[OLUL_[ NLULYH[PVUVM(MYPJHUZ[VILSPL]L[OH[(MYPJHUZPU(MYPJHJHUTHRLHKPMMLYLUJLMVY(MYPJH and  for  the  world.â&#x20AC;&#x2122; How  likely  is  it  that  what  worked  in  animal  tests  will  work  for  humans?  â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s   UVN\HYHU[LLI\[[OLYLÂťZHYLHZVUHISLJOHUJL;OLYLPZWYLJLKLUJL!^LÂťYLUV[Q\Z[ ZOVV[PUNPU[OLKHYRÂť If  the  drug  works  on  humans,  what  timescale  are  we  talking?  â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Six  to  eight  yearsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;. Your  motto  in  life?  º0OH]LSV[Z/LYLHYL[OYLL!HMHP[OPU.VKHUKOHYK^VYRHYLH winning  and  satisfying  combination,   IZ\JJLZZPZ^OH[`V\`V\YZLSMKLĂ&#x201E;ULP[ [VILJO\THUYLSH[PVUZOPWZHYLTVYL PTWVY[HU[[OHUHU`RPUKVMZ\JJLZZÂť TEEN  TALENT Howâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  this  for  Capetonian   enterprise?  SACS  schoolboy   Brandon  Berg  has  been  designing   clothes  since  he  was  14,  and  sells  the   range,  called  Edge  by  Brandon  Berg,  at   *SVHRHUK+HNNLYVWWVZP[L*H]LUKPZO Square.  Now,  aged  all  of  16,  heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  added   scent  to  his  repertoire  with  a  â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;hisâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;  and  â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;herâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;   MYHNYHUJL*OLJRV\[OPZJSV[OLZVU www.edgebybrandonberg.com  or   MHJLIVVR>LÂťYLVMMLYPUNHWYPaLVM both  scents  -  for  your  chance  to   win  one  of  each,  simply   SMS  EDGE   [V

cycle JUST  WHEN  YOU  THOUGHT  CAPE  TOWN   COULDNâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;T  GET  ANY  BETTER,  IT  DID. /LYLÂťZMoonlight  MassHUPNO[[PTLJ`JSL[OH[[HRLZWSHJLL]LY`M\SSTVVU;OL HJ[PVUZ[HY[ZH[ WTH[.YLLU7VPU[HUKLUKZH[3VUN:[YLL[5VIPRL&5V[[V^VYY` ^^^PYPKLHMYPJHJVT^PSSYLU[`V\VULMVY9;OLYLHYLHSZVZWLJPHSKLHSZ PUJS\KPUN9JVÉ&#x2C6;LLZHUK9KYH\NO[ZVÉ&#x2C6;LYLKI`JLY[HPUYLZ[H\YHU[ZLUYV\[L Alone,  or  with  a  group,  what  better  way  to  spend  the  evening  with  the  moon  as   `V\YZ[YLL[SPNO[LTIYHJPUN*HWL;V^UÂťZILH\[`&/LSTL[ZYLJVTTLUKLK >LI!^^^TVVUSPNO[THZZJVaHVY^^^MHJLIVVRJVTTVVUSPNO[THZZ thislife.org.za      |      issue  7        05


picture by  Merwelene  van  der  Merwe

sportymoment

06    thislife.org.za      |      issue  7


sportymoment

swim

your  own  race

6S`TWPJSLNLUK7LUU`/L`UZVUJOVJVSH[L *OHKHUK*HTLYVUÂťZUH\NO[`KVSWOPURPJR

;

OLKH\NO[LYVMHI\ZPULZZTHUHUKU\YZLMYVT:WYPUNZ.H\[LUNPenny  Heyns,  38,  is  widely  regarded  as  one  of  the  best  female  breaststroke  swimmers  the  world  has  ever  seen.   She  is  still  the  only  woman  in  Olympic  history  to  have  won  both  the  100m  and  200m  breast-­ VWURNHUDFHVDFOHDQVZHHSVKHDFKLHYHGDW$WODQWDLQWKHUHE\ZLQQLQJ6RXWK$IULFDLWVÂżUVW Olympic  gold  medal  in  44  years.  Penny  swam  in  three  successive  Olympics,  and  broke  14  world   records  in  her  swimming  career.  Having  retired  from  competing  in  2001,  Penny  transitioned  highly   Z\JJLZZM\SS`MYVTZ^PTTLY[VTV[P]H[PVUHSZWLHRLY(UH[\YHSH[[OLWVKP\TZOL[YH]LSZ^PKLS`IV[OPU South  Africa  and  abroad.  She  also  commentates  on  television  and  runs  swimming  clinics  at  every  level.   Currently  based  in  Pretoria,  Penny  graciously  granted   HWLLRPU[VOLYSPMLHUKOLY[OV\NO[Z on  South  Africaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  exciting  swimming  stars

thislife

MOST  IRRITATING  HABIT  IN  SELF? 0ÂťTHWLYMLJ[PVUPZ[0[JHUTHRLSPMLKPÉ&#x2030;J\S[H[[PTLZ Best  sporting  moment? ;OLYL^LYLZL]LYHSNYLH[TVTLU[ZOV^L]LY0Z\WWVZL T`Ă&#x201E;YZ[6S`TWPJNVSK^HZHIPNNPL0[^HZ[OLT IYLHZ[Z[YVRLYHJLH[[OL ([SHU[H6S`TWPJZ0OHK broken  my  own  world  record  during  the  prelims  that   morning,  so  the  goal  was  to  improve  on  that,  and  if   ZVWVZZPIS`^PUNVSKPU[OLĂ&#x201E;UHS(ZP[[\YULKV\[0 won  the  race  but  my  time  was  slightly  slower  than  the   morning,  so  I  had  mixed  feelings.  I  was  relieved  and   happy  at  the  win,  but  disappointed  with  the  time   Worst  sporting  moment? Slipping  on  the  starting  block  at  an  international  meet   PU-YHUJLPU 0[^HZHUPU]P[H[PVUHSL]LU[ZVPU some  ways  not  that  important,  but  it  was  televised  in   ,\YVWLHUK[O\ZX\P[LLTIHYYHZZPUN0ILSS`Ă&#x2026;VWWLK into  the  pool  and  was  last  at  the  turn,  but  I  made  up   ZVTLNYV\UK[VĂ&#x201E;UPZOZLJVUKL]LU[\HSS`;OLNVVK thing  was  that  it  gave  myself  and  fellow  competitors   something  to  laugh  about Cappuccino/rooibos/other?

Caffè  latte

Guilty  pleasure? Lindt  chocolate.  I  try  not  to  eat  it  more  than  once  or   twice  a  week!  I  actually  eat  more  now  than  when  I  was   JVTWL[PUNILJH\ZL0^HZIHZLKPU*HUHKHHUK<:( where  the  chocolate  isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t  as  good!   Your  reaction  when  Chad  le  Clos  beat  Michael   Phelps  to  win  gold  in  the  London  Olympics?

I  was  extremely  proud  of  Chad!  It  was  a  great  example   of  swimming  with  heart,  and  never  giving  up.  He  proved   the  seemingly  â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;impossibleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;  is  possible

Whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  he  like?     I  donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t  know  him  well  but  I  believe  heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  a  very  hard   and  diligent  trainer.  And  he  appears  very  humble Your  advice  to  Chad  for  the  next  Olympics? Repeating  as  a  medallist  is  one  of  the  hardest  things   to  do.  Surround  yourself  with  the  right  people  whoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re   there  to  look  after  your  best  interests,  not  their  own.   7HJL`V\YZLSMPU[LYTZVMJVTTP[TLU[Z[VTH_PTPZL opportunities,  and  donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t  compromise  your  swimming   WYLWMVY Your  take  on  Cameron  van  der  Burgh  using  an   extra  dolphin  kick  in  his  gold-winning  Olympic   breaststroke  race?   0ÂşTZHKKLULKOLILSPL]LKP[ULJLZZHY`HUKHJJLW[able  to  do  illegal  kicks!  I  think  heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  a  better  swimmer   than  that,  and  didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t  need  to  resort  to  illegal  tactics  to   win Hardest  thing  you  ever  had  to  do,  and  how  you   coped? +LHS^P[O[OLWHZZPUNVMT`TV[OLYPU4H`6UL day  at  a  time,  and  I  know  some  day  I  will  see  her  again You  and  God? 0ILSPL]L/LPZ[OL(SWOHHUK6TLNH>P[OV\[/PT UV[OPUN^V\SKL_PZ[;OLJVVSLZ[[OPUNHIV\[/PTPZ [OH[/LKLZPYLZ[VOH]LHWLYZVUHSPU[PTH[LYLSH[PVUship  with  every  individual,  and  loves  us  despite  our  sin   HUKSHJRVMSV]LMVY/PT Your  top  piece  of  motivational  advice? -VJ\ZVU^OH[`V\ÂťYLPUJVU[YVSVMHUKKVP[[V[OL ILZ[VM`V\YHIPSP[`>OLYL]LY`V\HYLIL[OLYL  :^PT`V\YV^UYHJLHUKZ[YP]L[VIL[OLILZ[Âş@6<Âť that  you  can  be!

this  page  proudly  sponsored  by  Redford  Capital JVU[HJ[\ZH[PUMV'YLKMVYKJHWP[HSJVaH thislife.org.za      |      issue  7        07


studentrap

PJR No  rules  and  no  clean  spoons:  this  is  the  best  and  the  worst  of  life  in  digs,  say  Rondebosch  house-­ Z[V5 tion   R U H O c [  u O d mates  Warwick  Kay,  Jess  Kuhlenthal,  Mike  Duminy,  Nick  Key,  Adri  Coetzee  and  Sheldon  Yoko o >P[ JO eo  pr Y \ id O v   J f  o K head VU.YV\U aged  to   T T ma n he   usly   H[*V lo u s  in  t c e a t ir a m m e   e who   e  tim hous   m is a h s     ll get  a at  the pher! lace   p   e togra sam r  pho u o   r fo

moving  in... DOES  LIVING  IN  DIGS  mean  piles  of  unwashed  plates  in  the  sink  

and  dubious  take-­aways?  Wellâ&#x20AC;¦yes  and  no,  say  these  six  Rondebosch   housemates,  a  mixture  of  students  and  working  types.  Read  on... (by  the  way,  they  all  talked  at  once,  so  weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve  squished  their  answers   into  one  voice!) Whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  the  best  thing  about  living  in  digs? 5VY\SLZ;OLYL»ZUVVULJOLJRPUN\WVU\ZHUK V\YKPÉ&#x2C6;LYLU[SP]LZTLHU[OH[JVU]LYZH[PVUPZLHZ` â&#x20AC;&#x201C;  we  never  get  bored

And  the  worst?

No  clean  spoons,  paying  bills  and  the  green  pool

WIN!

Craziest  situation  youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve  had  to  deal   with?  

Y[ZHPSPU \[L)SVRH (TPU e  friends!   u  and  thre o y r   o f   rg MVY`V\Y Muizenbe [V ; 9 ( 2 6 ^^OH[ :4:)3 +VU»[RUV  PU ^ co.za   V [ J OH UJ L .blokar t. w w w U RV VY NPZ&*SPJ   U V )SVRHY[PU Y L K K [4HYR;L aH VYJVU[HJ ISVRHY[JV [' YR H T

(IYLHRPU4PJOHLS^VRL\WH[HTHZHUPU[Y\KLY opened  his  bedroom  door.  Who  got  the  bigger   MYPNO[OHSMUHRLK4PJOHLSVY[OLTHU^OVZH^ OPTPZ\WMVYKLIH[LI\[LP[OLY^H`OLÃ&#x2026;LK>L were  all  pretty  freaked  out  so  we  sat  and  drank   JVÉ&#x2C6;LL[VNL[OLY\U[PSP[^HZ[PTL[VNL[\W:OHYPUN the  experience  actually  brought  us  closer

we  should  set  up  a  housemate  interview  process   which  includes  messing  up  the  kitchen  and  asking   â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;DO  YOU  SEE  ANYTHING  WRONG  HERE?â&#x20AC;&#x2122;!     ;OVZLVM\Z^OVHYLZ[\KLU[ZHSZV^PZO^L»K RUV^U[OLWL[YVSWYPJL^HZNVPUN[VYVJRL[!NL[ting  to  class  is  crazy  expensive  now

@V\YHK]PJLMVYÃ&#x201E;UKPUNHKPNZ& If  personal  contacts  donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t  work  out,  use  the   PU[LYUL[VYMVSSV^\WVUHKZI\[KLÃ&#x201E;UP[LS`KV`V\Y own  personal  research  too.  When  you  visit  the   digs,  ask  the  locals  what  the  areaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  like  safety^PZLHUKJOLJROV^SVUNP[»SS[HRL[VNL[[V^VYR JVSSLNL\UPPUY\ZOOV\Y-PUKV\[^O`[OLSHZ[ person  left  and  check  out  the  rooms  of  your   potential  new  housemates  for  over-the-top   untidiness!

What  do  you  wish  youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d  known  before   What  do  you  eat  when  thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  no   money  left  in  the  budget? you  moved  in? :OLSKVURUV^Z^OLYL[VÃ&#x201E;UKJOLHWMVVK!9 ;OH[MYPLUKZKVU»[ULJLZZHYPS`THRLNVVKOV\ZLTH[LZ@V\NL[[VRUV^HUV[OLYZPKLVMWLVWSL â&#x20AC;&#x201C;  and  sometimes  thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  the  untidy  side.  Maybe  

I\UU`JOV^ZHUK9NPHU[JOPWHUKJOLLZL rotis!

thislife

MODEL FOR US?  Wanna  model  for   THNHaPUL&>OH[L]LY`V\YHNLNLUKLYYHJL ^L^HU[`V\>LJHU»[WH`I\[P[»ZHSV[VMM\U@V\KVU»[ULLK[VILHO\URVYYH]PUNILH\[`^LSPRL YLHSWLVWSL4HPS`V\YWPJUHTLHNLHUK[LSLWOVULJVU[HJ[[V[OPZSPMLTHN'NTHPSJVTHUK^L»SSILPU [V\JO[OLTVTLU[^LOH]LHUVWWVY[\UP[`MVY`V\7SLHZLTLU[PVUPM[OLYL»ZHU`WHY[PJ\SHYHJ[P]P[``V\»K LUQV`ILPUNWOV[VNYHWOLKKVPUN 08      thislife.org.za      |      issue  7


foodielife

,HZPLZ[PJLJYLHT (no  machine  needed!)

Hereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  one  of  our  winning  recipes  from  our  Easy  Ice-­Cream  competition.  We  tested  it  â&#x20AC;&#x201C;   itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  utterly  delicious  and  SO  easy!  Have  fun  by  serving  it  in  quirky  containers:  teacups,   espresso  cups,  assorted  glassesâ&#x20AC;¦

Yoghurt  ice-­cream  (recipe  by  Sally  Bingham  of  Claremont) WHAT  YOU  NEED    (serves  8  to  10)  ÷WLQFRQGHQVHGPLON÷POIUHVKFUHDP÷SOXV 21(RIWKHIROORZLQJD PO*UHHN\RJKXUWDQGJIUHVKRUIUR]HQEHUULHVRI\RXU FKRLFHPL[HGWRJHWKHUPMZ[YH^ILYYPLZJOVW[OLTÃ&#x201E;YZ[ OR E POIUXLW\RJKXUWRIFKRLFH [Y`JOLYY`MYVT>VVS^VY[OZVYHWWSLZ[YL\KLSMYVT7PJRU7H` WHAT  YOU  DO  4P_JVUKLUZLKTPSRHUK`VNO\Y[^P[OILYYPLZPM\ZPUN\U[PS^LSSISLUKLK)LH[ cream  and  fold  into  this  mixture.  Freeze  overnight,  or  for  as  long  as  you  can  wait  before  indulging!

Go  to  www.thislife.org.za  to  see  our  other  winning  recipe  for  rooibos  and  honey  ice-­cream by  Janet  Knight  of  Kommetjie

thislife.org.za     |      issue  7        09


dailylife

a life  in  the  day  of… Pippa  Shaper,  co-­founder  of  Home  from  Home

Coffee at  Spades  &  Spoons  breathes  life  into  Pippa  Shaper,  who  has  survived  tragedy  to  set  up  numerous  foster  homes

Pippa Shaper,  47,  was  born  and  educated  in   London.  She  worked  as  a  fashion  buyer  for  Marks   &  Spencer  before  marrying  celebrated  South   African  lyricist  Hal  Shaper,  with  whom  she  moved   to  Cape  Town  in  1992  and  had  four  children   After  Hal  died  in  2004,  Pippa  co-founded  Home  from   /VTLHU5.6WYV]PKPUNZTHSSJVTT\UP[`IHZLKMVZ[LY homes  for  children  in  need.  In  2007  she  married  businessman  Sean  Wiblin,  and  they  live  in  Wynberg  with  Harry,  her   youngest  son   10      thislife.org.za      |      issue  7    


dailylife WIN!

Two  night   s o at  Klo f  four,  se  for  a  fam (w w w ofzich lf-cater ily   .kloo t  Estat ing,   fzich e,  Tulb tes t a a te.cogh   . za)  

m

y  alarm  goes  off  

atHT)\[^OH[HJ[\HSS`NL[Z TLNVPUNPZMYLZOS`IYL^LKJVÉ&#x2C6;LL¶0JHU»[MVJ\Z\U[PS 0»]LOHKT`Ã&#x201E;YZ[J\W0YLJRVU0KYL^[OLZOVY[Z[YH^ because  while  Sean  puts  fresh  water  next  to  the  bed  at   night,  Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m  the  one  who  gets  up  in  the  morning  to  brew   [OLJVÉ&#x2C6;LL;OHURM\SS`/HYY`THRLZOPZV^UIYLHRMHZ[ and  gets  himself  ready  for  school,  so  my  routine  isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t   too  rushed.    I  do  the  morning  school  run  to  WesterMVYK/PNO:JOVVSHUK:LHUJVSSLJ[ZPU[OLHM[LYUVVU 5LP[OLY/HYY`UVY0HYLJOH[[`PU[OLTVYUPUNZV^L usually  listen  to  music  in  relative  silence.  Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve  tried  to   NL[OPTPU[LYLZ[LKPUJ\YYLU[HÉ&#x2C6;HPYZVU[OLYHKPVI\[[V no  avail!

delicious 5V[^VKH`ZHYL[OLZHTLH[/VTLMYVT/VTL:VTL KH`Z0OLHKZ[YHPNO[[VV\Y>`UILYNVÉ&#x2030;JLHUKVU others  I  schedule  breakfast  meetings  â&#x20AC;&#x201C;  a  good  time  for   WLVWSL[VTLL[6ULVMT`MH]V\YP[LZWV[ZPZ2ULHK which  has  excellent  early-morning  specials,  and  Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m   HSZVX\P[LHYLN\SHYH[T`SVJHS>`UILYNJVÉ&#x2C6;LLZOVW :WHKLZ :WVVUZ![OLMVVKPZKLSPJPV\Z6[OLY^PZL I  go  to  the  gym,  run  or  do  some  yoga  before  the  day   starts.  It  may  sound  a  well-oiled  routine,  but  believe   me,  it  doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t  always  go  smoothly! 6U4VUKH`Z^LOH]LHTLL[PUN^P[OV\Y[LHTVM ZVJPHS^VYRLYZWYVQLJ[JVVYKPUH[VYZHUKHKTPUZ[HÉ&#x2C6; to  connect,  discuss  any  issues  and  plan  the  week   HOLHK6\YMVZ[LYOVTLZHYLZJH[[LYLKHJYVZZ[OL Western  Cape,  and  my  mornings  generally  consist  of   visiting  foster  parents  at  the  homes  and  meeting  with   JVTT\UP[`HZZVJPH[LZZ\WWVY[LYZHUKKVUVYZ6\Y donors  range  from  large  foundations  to  a  domestic   ^VYRLY^OVMHP[OM\SS`ZLUKZ\Z9HTVU[O6\Y]PZPVU H[/VTLMYVT/VTLPZ[VWYV]PKLHSV]PUNOVTLLU]Pronment  for  as  many  vulnerable  children  as  possible.   6\YNYLH[LZ[JOHSSLUNLPZ[VÃ&#x201E;UK[OLYPNO[MVZ[LY parents.  Looking  after  other  peopleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  children  is  a   JHSSPUNUV[HQVIHUKHUKP[[HRLZZVTLVUL]LY` ZWLJPHS[VÃ&#x201E;SS[OPZ]P[HSYVSL <USLZZ0OH]LHS\UJOHWWVPU[TLU[0WHJRT`V^U S\UJO!ZV\WZHSHKVYSLM[V]LYZMYVTSHZ[UPNO[»ZZ\WWLY \USLZZZVTLVULLSZLPU[OLOV\ZLOVSKOHZILH[LUTL

:4: 2 chan 366-[V  ce  ends to  win.  CoMVY`V  13  M \ m arch   petition   Y 2013

[VP[4VZ[HM[LYUVVUZ0^YP[LYLWVY[ZVYWYVWVZHSZ H]P[HSWHY[VMT`QVI4`^VYRPUNKH`LUKZIL[^LLU Ã&#x201E;]LHUKZP_HUKT`ZOVY[JVTT\[LOVTLTLHUZ0 can  usually  squeeze  in  exercise  if  I  didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t  get  round  to   P[[OH[TVYUPUN!PM0KVU»[OH]LZVTLºTL[PTL»0NL[ HU[Z`;OPZPZT`[PTL[V[OPURHUKJOH[[V.VKHIV\[ ^OH[L]LY»ZOHWWLUPUNPUT`SPML0MP[»ZH-YPKH`0KVT` utmost  to  get  together  after  work  with  a  few  girlfriends   for  a  glass  of  wine,  and  we  usually  end  up  howling  with   laughter  at  things  that  have  happened  in  our  week. I  buy  groceries  after  work,  grabbing  what  we  need  for   the  evening  meal,  which  either  Sean  or  I  prepare.    If   P[»ZH4VUKH`[OL^OVSLJSHUNH[OLYZMVYV\Y^LLRS` family  dinner.  It  can  be  hard  then  not  to  think  of  my   daughter  Lucy,  who  died  when  she  was  four.  She  contracted  a  freak,  catastrophic  virus  and  died  in  under   [^VKH`Z0VM[LU^VUKLY^OH[ZOL^V\SKILSPRLUV^! TH[YPJ\SH[PUNKYP]PUNHJHY;OLYLHYLUV^VYKZ[V describe  the  pain  of  losing  a  child  â&#x20AC;&#x201C;  it  is  every  parentâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s   ^VYZ[UPNO[THYL3VZPUN/HS[VJHUJLY[OYLL`LHYZSH[LY was  another  horrendous  blow,  and  I  had  no  idea  at   [OL[PTLOV^0»KNL[[OYV\NOP[)\[.VKOHZIYV\NO[ TL[OYV\NOTHU`KPÉ&#x2030;J\S[[PTLZHZ^LSSHZNP]PUNTL THU`THU`[PTLZVMQV`¶PUJS\KPUNZLUKPUNTL:LHU a  fabulous  man  to  be  a  husband  for  me  and  fantastic   Z[LWKHK[VT`JOPSKYLU.VKPZT`YVJRHUKT`MHP[O helps  me  realise  Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m  a  precious  and  much-loved  piece   PUHUPUÃ&#x201E;UP[LS`IPNW\aaSL

glitz )LPUNHI\`LYMVY4HYRZ :WLUJLY^HZHTHaPUNHUK Ã&#x201E;SSLK^P[OHSS[OLNSP[aVM[OLMHZOPVUPUK\Z[Y`)\[KV I  miss  the  corporate  world  and  the  glamour?  Not  in   [OLSLHZ[0[Ã&#x201E;SSZTL^P[OQV`[VZLL[OH[UVTH[[LYOV^ abused  or  sick  a  child  is,    a  loving  new  family  and  good   nutrition,  education,  and  medication  can  give  them  a   completely  new  lease  on  life.   )HJR[OLU0[YH]LSSLK[V7HYPZHUK4PSHUI`WSHUL ;OLZLKH`Z0[YH]LS[V2OH`LSP[ZOHPUT`/`\UKHP)\[ what  I  do  now  gives  me  a  profound  sense  of  purpose   and  satisfaction.    Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve  never  once  looked  back.  After  a   dayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  work,  when  I  settle  down  for  the  night,  my  last   thought  is  one  of  absolute  gratitude.â&#x20AC;&#x2122;

Want  to  know  more  about  Home  from  Home?  Click  on  www.homefromhome.org.za [OPZWHNLWYV\KS`ZWVUZVYLKI`.YHWL]PUL0U[LYHJ[P]LTVIPSLTHYRL[PUNZWLJPHSPZ[Z^^^NYHWL]PULNYV\WJVaH JVU[HJ[5LPS/\[JOPUZVUVUVYULPS']PULJVaH thislife.org.za      |      issue  7        11


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12    thislife.org.za      |      issue  7        


WIN!

betterlife

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(^LLRZ(K]LU[\YL)VV[ Camp  for  Women  worth  R690.  Find   the  location  of  your  nearest  camp  at   www.adventurebootcamp.co.za     (^LLRZJHTWSHZ[ZKH`Z

how  to  be...   A  FABULOUS  FRIEND

:4:)66;[VMVY`V\Y chance  to  win Competition  ends   13  March  2013

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OL`ZH`[OH[MYPLUKZHYL.VKÂťZ^H`VM HWVSVNPZPUNMVYV\YMHTPSPLZ;OL`TH` ^LSSILYPNO[9HYLPZ[OLZV\S^OVLUQV`Z SPML^P[OV\[[OLT;OL`OLSW\ZW\SS\Z out  of  our  rut  and  bring  us  new  perspectives  â&#x20AC;&#x201C;  and  the  very  act  of  sharing  lifeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s   stresses  with  them  nearly  always  makes  us   feel  better.   Now  medical  research  is  showing  further   ILULĂ&#x201E;[Z!MYPLUKZUV[VUS`THRL\ZMLLSNVVK theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re  actually  good  for  our  health!  An   American  study  *(1)VMULHYS`U\YZLZ^P[O breast  cancer  found  that  women  without  close   friends  were  four  times  as  likely  to  die  from  the   KPZLHZLHZ^VTLU^P[OVYTVYLMYPLUKZ( six-year  analysis  *(2)  of  more  than  700  middleaged  Swedish  men  suggested  a  good  social   network  was  far  more  important  for  their  heart   OLHS[O[OHUHSPMLWHY[ULY(UKH`LHY Australian  study  *(3)  found  that  older  people   ^P[OHSHYNLJPYJSLVMMYPLUKZ^LYL SLZZ likely  to  die  during  the  study  period  than  those   with  fewer  friends.   )\[^OPSL^LYLSPZO[OLJVTWHU`HUKZ\WWVY[ our  friends  bring,  are  we  ourselves  as  good  a   friend  back[V[OLTHZ^LÂťKSPRL[V[OPUR&/V^ can  one  be  a  fabulous  friend?   It  all  boils  down  to  that  age-old  principle,  says   2HYPU;PSUL`VM:[YLZZ:[YH[LNPLZ^OVOHZ more  than  25  yearsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;  counselling  experience   \UKLYOLYILS[Âş;YLH[`V\YMYPLUKZHZ`V\`V\Yself  would  like  to  be  treated.â&#x20AC;&#x2122;   )\[^OH[KVLZ[OH[YLHSS`TLHU&How,  actuHSS`^V\SK^LSPRL[VIL[YLH[LK&/LYLHYL

2HYPUÂťZ[PWZMVYILJVTPUN[OLRPUKVM friend  youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d  really  like  to  be. Â&#x2039;3PZ[LUPUNHUKLTWH[O`HYL[^VVM[OL most  powerful  tools  in  friendship.  Be   a  genuine  listener,  not  an  interrupter,   HUKHJRUV^SLKNL`V\YMYPLUKÂťZMLLSPUNZ Empathy  means  saying  â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;I  understand  

Âş(MYPLUKPZZVTLVUL ^OVÂťZ[OLYLMVY`V\ ^OLUOLÂťKYH[OLYIL ZVTL^OLYLLSZLÂť

youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re  feeling  disappointed  about  not   getting  the  jobâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;.  3HJRVMLTWH[O`PZZH`PUN!â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  not  that  bad  â&#x20AC;&#x201C;  think  about  the   jobless  all  around  us,  and  move  on!â&#x20AC;&#x2122;    A  friend  

^OVZKLHSPUN^P[OSVZZVMHU`RPUK^V\SKSV]L[V move  on  but  needs  time  to  process  things  and   forgive  (and  be  aware  that  forgiveness  is  one  of   [OLOHYKLZ[WYVJLZZLZVMHSS

-­  Anonymous  

Â&#x2039;)LYLSPHISLHUKĂ&#x2026;L_PISL0MHMYPLUKÂťZNVPUN [OYV\NOHKPMĂ&#x201E;J\S[[PTLILYLHK`[VKYVWV[OLY commitments  to  support  them  at  their  time   VMULLK)LĂ&#x2026;L_PISLVU[OLSP[[SL[OPUNZ[VVLN choices  of  outings  or  movies.

Â&#x2039;0[ZV\UKZWYL[[`VI]PV\ZI\[HJ[\HSS`JVUnecting  with  your  friends  is  vital  for  maintaining   MYPLUKZOPWZ:VTLTLUJHUĂ&#x201E;UK[OPZOHYKLYI\[ the  â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;cappuccinoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;  business  meeting  has  now   made  it  socially  acceptable  for  Alpha  males  to   meet  for  coffee.  Men  shy  of  coffee  shops  can   persuade  their  friends  to  join  them  in  anything  as   diverse  as  a  cycling  group,  wine  club  or  Rotary,   and  of  course  thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  always  good  old  Watching   Sport.  In  particular,  celebrate  birthdays.  Vast   L_WLUKP[\YLPZUÂť[ULLKLK;HRL[OLPUP[PH[P]LHZ the  day  approaches  and  suggest  a  birthday   ^HSRY\UIYLHRMHZ[0M`V\SP]LMHYHWHY[LTHPS :R`WLZTZ))4HUKL]LU[OLWYLOPZ[VYPJ landline  leave  you  with  no  excuses.  Start  up  or   PUJYLHZLJVU[HJ[HUK`V\ÂťSSWYVIHIS`Ă&#x201E;UK`V\ enjoy  it!

really  love  your  son,  but  Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m  concerned  youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re   not  getting  to  his  rugby  gamesâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;.  If  you  are  told   not  to  interfere,  say  calmly,  â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;As  your  friend,  Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m   saying  this  purely  out  of  concern  for  you  and   your  relationship  with  your  son.â&#x20AC;&#x2122;

Â&#x2039;2LLWP[JVUĂ&#x201E;KLU[PHS9LZPZ[[OL\YNL[V[HSR about  friendsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;  struggles,  however  concerned   you  are.

*  (1)  Social  networks,  social  support,  and  survival  after  breast  cancer  diag-­ nosis  (Candyce  Kroenke)  (2)  Lack  of  social  support  and  incidence  of  coronary   heart  disease  in  middle-­aged  Swedish  men  (K  Orth-­GomÊr)  (3)  Effect  of  social   networks  on  10  year  survival  in  very  old  Australians  (Lynne  C  Giles)  

Â&#x2039;:WLHR[OL[Y\[OPUSV]L0M`V\KVUÂť[^OV^PSS& 0[ÂťZOHYKI\[PM[OLYLÂťZHUPZZ\LH[Z[HRL`V\ sometimes  need  to  *(17/<  say  how  you  feel   HIV\[HMYPLUKÂťZILOH]PV\Y;Y`!â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;I  know  you  

Â&#x2039;.L[WYHJ[PJHS![HRL[OLTHTLHS^OLU[OL`ÂťYL PSSZVY[V\[[OLPYIYVRLUNH[LNP]L[OLPYJOPSKYLUH lift.  And  when  itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  needed,  a  good  friend  simply   NVLZ[V[OLPYTH[LÂťZOV\ZLHUKTHRLZ[OLTH cup  of  tea

thislife.org.za     |      issue  7        13


mylife

0MV\UKT`

true calling How  Shaun  Shelly  clawed  his  way  out  of  addiction

Shaun Shelly  has  turned  his  drug  addiction  around  to  help  others

Shaun Shelly,  46,  was  born  and  grew  up  in  Wynberg,  Cape  Town.  He   attended  Westerford  High  School  and  then  the  University  of  Cape  Town,   which  he  left  early  to  start  a  lucrative  business  career.    At  the  height  of  this   success,  he  fell  prey  to  a  drug  addiction  which  unravelled  his  life.  Ultimately,   however,  he  beat  the  habit  and  turned  his  life  around.    Here  he  relates  his  story,   and  tells  of  the  challenges  he  still  faces  daily

14    thislife.org.za      |      issue  7  

[OPZWHNLWYV\KS`ZWVUZVYLKI`+VYYPUN[VU1LZZVW0UJVYWVYH[LK([[VYUL`Z JVU[HJ[)HYY`1LZZVW!IHYY`'KVYYPUN[VUQLZZVWJVaH


mylife

i

donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t  think  back  on  my  childhood   much,  but  if  thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  anything  I  remember,  itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s   being  a  weedy  boy  who  wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t  allowed  to  play   rugby  in  case  he  got  hurt.  After  living  through   two  divorces  as  a  small  child,  my  family   relationships  were  inevitably  fractured.  I  didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t   have  a  close  relationship  with  most  of  my   family,  but  was  close  to  my  biological  brother. 0OH]LNVVKTLTVYPLZVM>LZ[LYMVYK/PNO School  and  my  friendships  there.  I  went  to   church  with  those  school  friends  and  it  was   [OLYL[OH[0ILNHUHYLSH[PVUZOPW^P[O.VK;OPZ was  not  to  last,  however,  and  my  new-found   faith  was  tested  when  I  attended  a  meeting   one  day  in  a  church  that  wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t  my  own.  I   witnessed  what  I  felt  to  be  mass-hysteria  and   insincere  worship  and  decided  to  discard  a   faith  I  now  viewed  as  deceptive.   I  got  a  good  matric  which  earned  me  a  place   H[*HWL;V^U<UP]LYZP[`[VZ[\K`TLKPJPUL following  the  obligatory  two  years  of  national   service  where  I  became  a  lieutenant  in  the   infantry.    I  was  politically  naĂŻve,  only  later   coming  to  respect  my  brotherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  decision  to   ILJVTLHJVUZJPLU[PV\ZVIQLJ[VY 0KYVWWLKV\[VM\UP]LYZP[`PUT`Ă&#x201E;YZ[`LHY0 wanted  to  make  money  immediately.  After   moving  in  with  my  father  in  Constantia,  I   saw  wealth  all  around  me  and  I  wanted  that   independence  and  lifestyle.    I  embarked  on   a  successful  sales  career,  but  although  I  was   Ă&#x201E;UHUJPHSS`Z\JJLZZM\SÂśI`[OLHNLVM0KYV]L H7VYZJOLHUK)4>ZLYPLZHUKSP]LKPUH large  house  in  Newlands  â&#x20AC;&#x201C;  it  left  me  unsatisĂ&#x201E;LK(MYPLUKHUK0ZH[KV^UHUKPKLU[PĂ&#x201E;LK businesses  which  would  have  a  good  future   in  South  Africa  at  that  time.  We  set  up  two,  a   printing  business  and  a  security  company  that,   within  a  short  space  of  time,  grew  to  include   VÉ&#x2030;JLZPU1VOHUULZI\YN*HWL;V^UHUK(\Z[YHSPH)` 0^HZY\UUPUNOP[LJOWYVQLJ[Z for  the  government  at  a  ministerial  level.  

beautiful 0^HZSP]PUN^P[OT`WHY[ULY.PUH^OV0OHK met  at  work  one  day  when  she  walked  into  my   VÉ&#x2030;JL[VZLSSTLHWOV[VZ[H[THJOPUL:OL^HZ extremely  beautiful  and  our  relationship  blosZVTLKHUK^LOHKHIHI`NPYS4VYNHU>L were  together  for  nine  years,  but  I  worked  long   OV\YZPU[OVZLKH`ZHUKPU[PTL.PUHZ[HY[LK going  out  at  night  without  me  when  I  stayed   at  home  working.  I  sensed  the  disintegration   VMV\YYLSH[PVUZOPWHUKKLJPKLK[VQVPUOLY

socially  in  an  attempt  to  salvage  what  we  had.     )\[P[^HZUL]LY[VILZHS]HNLK:VVU[OLYL after,  we  split  up. 0^HZ^OLU0^LU[[VH*HTWZ)H`YLZ[H\YHU[VULUPNO[^P[OMYPLUKZ6ULVM[OLTJHTL back  from  the  toilets  saying  that  some  women   there  had  been  doing  a  line  of  cocaine.  It  was   then  that  we  all  decided  to  go  to   one  of  the  friendâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  houses  to  try   ZVTLV\YZLS]LZ;OLKY\NZ^LYL a  mere  phone  call  away,  and  I   soon  realised  that  many  people   and  friends  who  were  a  part  of   T`SPMLOHKILLUÂş\ZPUNÂťHSSHSVUN <U[PS[OPZ[PTL0OHK[OV\NO[[OH[ VUS`WLVWSLPUTV]PLZKPKKY\NZ! my  only  exposure  had  been  to   one  or  two  people  smoking  pot   at  parties.

importance  to  me,  and  collapsed  from  lack  of   headship.  Item  by  item,  I  began  to  sell  everything  I  owned  to  support  my  drug  addiction.  I   remember  having  a  sense  of  regret  and  guilt   as  I  sold  my  once-loved,  valuable  collection   VMHY[HUKN\P[HYZI\[[OPZ^HZZOVY[SP]LK! 0ZVVUMVJ\ZLKVUT`UL_[ºOP[5L]LYVUJL while  my  life  was  falling  apart  did  I  think  drug   HKKPJ[PVU^HZ[OLJH\ZL!HS^H`Z it  was  something  else,  and  drugs   remained  my  only  salvation.  

â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;THIS  WAS   JUST  A   SPELL   OF  BAD   3<*2Âť

Not  much  of  a  drinker  or   socialiser,  never  having  smoked  a   cigarette,  and  having  no  concept   or  thought  of  addiction,  I  decided   [V[Y`JVJHPULMVY[OLĂ&#x201E;YZ[[PTL In  retrospect,  I  think  it  was  only  to  be  sociable   that  I  took  the  decision  that  was  to  impact  my   SPMLZVKYHZ[PJHSS`0[OHKSP[[SLLÉ&#x2C6;LJ[VUTL[OL Ă&#x201E;YZ[[PTL0[^HZVUS`VUJL0^HZWLYZ\HKLK[V [Y`HNHPUZVTLKH`ZSH[LY[OH[P[OHK[OLLÉ&#x2C6;LJ[ that  users  the  world  over  rave  about.

(M[LYQ\Z[HML^ÂşSPULZÂť0ILNHUHSV]LYLSH[PVUZOPW^P[OL]LY`KY\NVM[OLTVTLU[!JVJHPUL OLYVPULLJZ[HJ`;OLKY\NZM\SĂ&#x201E;SSLKL]LY` need  I  had  ever  had,  and  needs  I  never  knew  I   had!    Socialising  became  easy  and  the  drugs   lured  me  into  the  lifestyle  and  clubbing  culture   until  I  belonged  there.  Never  alone  and  never   ULLKPUNHU`[OPUNLSZL0QVPULK many  others  in  this  lifestyle,  and   together  we  partied  from  sundown   to  sun-up,  sometimes  going  for   days  without  sleeping.  It  was  during   these  years  that  I  had  a  short  relationship  with  Angela  who  became   pregnant,  and  is  the  mother  of  my   ZLJVUKKH\NO[LY4PH ,]LU[\HSS`0YLHJOLK[OLZ[HNL ^OLYL0ULLKLKKY\NZ>OLU0 went  without  them  out  of  practical   necessity,  such  as  work  meetings   in  Johannesburg,  I  became  highly   PYYP[HISLHUKKPZZH[PZĂ&#x201E;LK^P[OH SVUNPUNSPRLHYHNPUNO\UNLY4` solution  was  to  use  again  and  again.   ;OLI\ZPULZZLZZ[HY[LK[VSVZL[OLPY

Seven  or  eight  years  after  my   Ă&#x201E;YZ[OP[0ILJHTLHKY\NKLHSLY to  support  what  was  now  a   voracious  appetite  for  drugs   HUKHZLLTPUNS`\UĂ&#x201E;SSHISLOVSL 4`TVZ[MYPNO[LUPUNTLTVY`VM those  days  is  of  having  my  arm   broken  by  some  gangsters  and   OH]PUN[VQ\TWV\[VM[OL^PUdow  of  a  two-storey  Wynberg   Ă&#x2026;H[[VLZJHWLKLH[O

4`HKKPJ[PVU^HZO\NLHUK I  could  never  make  enough   TVUL`[VZ\Z[HPUP[;PR^HZUV^T`KY\NVM JOVPJL)`0^HZOVTLSLZZHUKZSLLWPUN \UKLYH[YLL;OLZ[YHUNL[OPUNPZ[OH[0UL]LY VUJLZH^[OPZZP[\H[PVUMVY^OH[P[^HZ4` [OPURPUN![OPZ^HZQ\Z[HZWLSSVMIHKS\JRHUK 0^V\SKZVVUILIHJRVUT`MLL[HNHPU4` brother  and  two  friends  tried  to  help  me  but  I   didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t  believe  I  needed  help.  I  was  unable  to   maintain  any  true  relationships,  any  company   I  kept  was  toxic  and  dependent  on  drug  availability. 6U[OLML^VJJHZPVUZ0[YPLK[VYL[\YU[VT` previous  life  to  visit  my  family  and  children,  I  

Shaun  with  daughters  Mia  (7)  and  Morgan  (17) thislife.org.za      |      issue  7        15


mylife

left  chaos  in  my  wake.  When  I  got  a  call  from   Angelaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  father  to  say  that  my  second  daugh[LY4PH^HZIVYU0[\YULK\WH[[OLOVZWP[HS having  been  high  for  days,  and  must  have   SVVRLKHZPNO[;OLYL^LYLOV^L]LYHOHUKM\S of  moments  when  I  did  manage  to  stay  sober   to  visit  my  daughters,  and  I  will  cherish  those   ZPNUPÃ&#x201E;JHU[TVTLU[ZMVYL]LY 0U 0^HZHYYLZ[LKMVYZ[LHSPUNHIHNVM chocolate-coated  raisins  from  Checkers  in   7S\TZ[LHK(Z0ZH[PU[OLIHJRVMHWVSPJL]HU while  the  police  attended  to  another  issue,  a   middle-aged  gentleman  spoke  to  me  through   the  bars,  surprised  that  I  was  in  this  situation.  I   MLS[KLLWS`LTIHYYHZZLKHUKMVY[OLÃ&#x201E;YZ[[PTL ever,  I  had  a  sense  of  how  low  I  had  fallen.   After  20  minutes  in  a  police  cell,  a  police reservist  released  me  and  told  me  I  didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t   ILSVUNPU[OPZSPMLZ[`SL/LZHPK0^HZTLZZPUN up  my  life  and  should  get  help. Although  I  still  wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t  convinced  I  had  a  problem,  I  started  to  listen  to  two  now  drug-free   friends.  I  went  to  one  of  their  houses  to  bath   and  borrow  clean  clothes  before  attending  

me  in  the  night,  and  I  realised  I  didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t  want    to   YL[\YU[OLYLL]LY-VY[OLÃ&#x201E;YZ[[PTL0ZH^HUK registered  the  chaos  of  active  addiction. ;OLUL_[TVYUPUN0ILNHU[V^HSRMYVT[OL Mal  Huis0^LPNOLKRNHIV\[RN\UKLY my  normal  weight,  and  owned  nothing  except   the  clothes  on  my  back  and  the  bag  I  carried,   which  held  a  t-shirt  and  a  pair  of  takkies.  I   realised  there  was  nothing  I  could  do  to  stop   taking  drugs,  yet  to  continue  would  be  to   return  to  that  Mal  Huis.  I  began  a  conversa[PVU^P[O[OL.VK0VUJLRUL^HUKZHPKâ&#x20AC;&#x2DC;God,  

if  you  are  there  and  you  want  me  to  be  clean,   I  need  three  things  from  you:  a  place  to  stay,   money  for  food  and  a  slice  of  lemon  meringue   pie.â&#x20AC;&#x2122;;OPZ^HZZVTL[OPUN0^HZJYH]PUNPUT`

hungover  state!).

friendless Something  happened  to  me  then  on  the  greenbelt  on  which  I  was  walking.  I  became  fully   aware  of  the  truth  of  my  situation.  Into  my  head   HSZVJHTL[OL[OV\NO[VM-LYKPUHUK4HSHUNH

calm  and  friendliness,  and  without  batting  an   eyelid,  he  listened  as  I  said,  â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m  a  drug  addict   and  I  need  help.â&#x20AC;&#x2122;/PZYLHJ[PVU^HZPTTLKPH[L!

â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Fantastic!  Do  you  need  a  place  to  stay?  I  have   a  Wendy  house  which  was  recently  vacated.   Hereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  R500  for  food.â&#x20AC;&#x2122;  I  remembered  my  words   HUOV\YVYZVLHYSPLYHUKYLHSPZLKT`Ã&#x201E;YZ[[^V requests  had  been  met. 0^HSRLK[V*VUZ[HU[PH=PSSHNL[VI\`MVVKHUK MVY[OLÃ&#x201E;YZ[[PTLPUTHU``LHYZ0OHKTVUL` in  my  hand  with  no  thought  of  buying  drugs.   0^HZWHZZPUN[OYV\NO[OL4\NNHUK)LHU restaurant  to  get  to  Spar  when  I  collided  with   a  waitress  who  was  carrying  a  tray  out  of  the   oven.  It  sounds  so  unbelievable,  but  the  tray   held  a  large  lemon  meringue  pie!  As  I  sat  down   HUK[VVRT`Ã&#x201E;YZ[IP[L0MLS[[OH[0OHKJHSSLK \WVUH.VK^P[OHZLUZLVMO\TV\Y^OV OHKYL]LHSLKOPTZLSM[VTLPUT`TVZ[Ã&#x201E;JRSL desire! (UKZVHNLK0ILNHUT`YLJV]LY`0H[tended  NA,  walking  a  long  way  there  daily.  I   ^HZYLX\PYLK[VKV TLL[PUNZPU KH`Z[V JVTWSL[L[OLZ[LWWYVNYHTTL7HY[VM[OL programme  is  taking  a  step  to  make  amends   [VWLVWSLPUV\YSP]LZ6ULVM[OLTVZ[KPÉ&#x2030;J\S[ [OPUNZ0KPK^HZYLWH`9[VHTHU^OV was  still  a  drug  dealer,  knowing  the  money   could  be  used  to  buy  and  sell  drugs.  Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m   pleased  to  say,  though,  that  he  too  is  now  in   recovery.  I  learned  through  NA  to  face  the  fact   that  everything  Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d  believed  concerning  drugs   was  a  lie,  and  Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m  still  learning  to  reprogramme   my  thinking  in  this  regard.  

parties

Ferdinand  Malanga  Katalay,  whose  kindness  was  pivotal  in  Shaunâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  recovery  process T`Ã&#x201E;YZ[5HYJV[PJZ(UVU`TV\Z5(TLL[PUNPUHJVTT\UP[`OHSSPU6IZLY]H[VY`0MLS[ self-conscious  at  the  meeting,  but  there  was   something  in  every  person  there  that  felt  like   HYLÃ&#x2026;LJ[PVUVMT`ZLSM:VTL[OPUNZ[PYYLKPUTL ^OLU0YLHKHZPNU^OPJOZHPK!â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;There  is  no   chemical  solution  to  a  spiritual  problemâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;,  but   I  was  still  sceptical,  and  left  the  meeting  not   RUV^PUNPM0^V\SKYL[\YU/H]PUNUVWSHJL[V sleep,  I  went  to  the  Mal  Huis,  a  council  house   PU7S\TZ[LHKVJJ\WPLKI`HU\TILYVMKY\N HKKPJ[Z;OLUVPZLZJVTPUNMYVTHKKPJ[Z^VRL 16      thislife.org.za      |      issue  7        

2H[HSH`H*VUNVSLZLYLM\NLL^OVOHK^VYRLK for  me  as  a  security  guard  at  the  height  of  my   business  career.  A  genuine  Christian,  extraordinary  in  his  demeanour  and  bearing,  he  had   now  started  his  own  security  business,  which   I  knew  he  operated  in  that  area.   0YLHJOLK-LYKPUHUK»ZVÉ&#x2030;JLHUKHZRLKZVTLVUL[VJHSSOPT;OPZ^HZ]LY`O\TISPUNHZ -LYKPUHUKOHKVUJLRUV^UTLHZOPZ^LHS[O` LTWSV`LY0MLS[HZOHTLK/LHWWYVHJOLKTL as  though  he  had  expected  me.  With  perfect  

Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m  learning  to  rebuild  my  life,  and  I  now  have   HNYLH[YLSH[PVUZOPW^P[O4VYNHUHUK4PH^OV HYLHUKZL]LU;OLPYTV[OLYZOH]LHSSV^LK me  back  into  their  lives,  and  I  see  each  of   them  weekly,  doing  everyday  things  like  lifting   4VYNHU[VHUKMYVTWHY[PLZHUKML[JOPUN4PH from  school  and  doing  homework  with  her.   +LZWP[L[OLPYHNLNHW[OLNPYSZNL[VU^LSSHUK we  have  been  on  an  annual  holiday  together   MVYHML^`LHYZUV^0^VYRMVY-LYKPUHUKKVing  admin  part-time  to  make  ends  meet  so  I   JHUZWLUKTVZ[VMT`[PTLH[/VWL/V\ZL *V\UZLSSPUN*LU[YLHUVUWYVÃ&#x201E;[VYNHUPZH[PVUPU;VRHP^OLYL0THUHNL[OLHKKPJ[PVUZ programme  under  strict  supervision,  working   as  a  full-time  volunteer  until  we  secure  government  funding.  I  still  live  in  the  accommodation   -LYKPUHUKVÉ&#x2C6;LYLKTLZVTLÃ&#x201E;]L`LHYZHNV Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re  like  brothers,  and  I  can  never  repay  his   kindness  to  me. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m  still  in  recovery,  which  is  a  process,  and  


mylife WIN!

(UPN O in a  lu[MVY[^V WS\Z   xur -YHUZ +H\WOPUy  suite  at   IYLHR MHZ L [ JOOV L LR(w .\LZ[/ a  Petite   V\ZL w w.l  a p et i t e .c o. z a ) still  occasionally  attend  NA  meetings.  Like  all   drug  addicts,  I’m  highly  susceptible  to  stress   and  certain  triggers,  and  it  hasn’t  been  an   easy  road.  I  have  relapsed  once,  and  in  some   ^H`ZP[^HZL]LUTVYLKPɉJ\S[[VYLJV]LYMYVT this.  I  felt  as  though  I  had  lost  my  new-found   purpose,  but  I  realised  that  life  is  not  about  the   falling,  but  about  the  getting  up  again.  I  went   back  to  studying  and  obtained  a  counselling   X\HSPÄJH[PVU[OYV\NO<50:(HUKMLLSPUN]LY` clearly  called  to  specialise  in  drug  addiction,   I’m  working  towards  a  post-graduate  diploma   in  addictions  care  through  Stellenbosch   <UP]LYZP[`>VYRPUN^P[OHKKPJ[ZHZHUHKKPJ[ is  challenging,  and  not  to  be  recommended  for   those  who  aren’t  constantly  aware  of  their  own   ^LHRULZZHUKWYVWLUZP[`[VMHSS6UL[OPUN of  which  I’m  certain,  though,  is  that  this  is  my   true  calling. I  believe  there’s  a  human  condition  which   feeds  addiction,  and  that  is  our  need  for  three  

[OPUNZ!ZVJPHSZLJ\YP[`PUKP]PK\HSZPNUPÄJHUJL and a  spiritual  connection.  We  place  too  much   LTWOHZPZVU[OLÄYZ[[^VVM[OLZLULLKZHUK live  our  lives  saying,  ‘Who  am  I,  does  the  world   like  me?’,  which  always  leaves  us  wanting.   When  our  identity  comes  from  our  spiritual   JVUULJ[PVU^P[O6UL^OVPZNYLH[LY[OHU ourselves  and  who  loves  us  without  reserve,  I   ILSPL]L[OH[HSSV\YULLKZJHUILÄSSLK»

S  imply SM S  PE MVY T Com `V\YJOHU ITE  to   petitio JL[V 13  M  arch   n  ends   ^PU 2013

Shaun’s advice  for  drug  users 1.    Be  honest  with  yourself  and  ADMIT  you  have  a  problem 2.    ASK.VK[VOLSW`V\^OL[OLY`V\ILSPL]LPU/PTVYUV[ 3.    ACTZWLHR[VZVTLVULHUKNL[OLSW ;Y`PUMV'OVWLOV\ZLVYNaHHUK^^^UHVYNaH

thislife.org.za    |      issue  7        17


photomoment

MOMENT OF  JOY...  +HUJPUNNPYSZZWV[[LKVUH:H[\YKH`TVYUPUNPU2PKa2S\IHNYV\WY\UI`1\IPSLL*O\YJO PU6IZLY]H[VY`^OPJOWYV]PKLZHZHMLHUKSV]PUNLU]PYVUTLU[MVYJOPSKYLUMYVTPUULYJP[`HYLHZ 18      thislife.org.za      |      issue  7        


picture by  Tonya  Hester

photomoment

[OPZWHNLWYV\KS`ZWVUZVYLKI`5L]PSSL>LSSPUN[VUHUK*OHYSPL4PSSLY thislife.org.za    |      issue  7        19


worklife

WIN!

A  2Davidso hour  chauffeure   ]PH/V\ n  whirl  for  2  fro d  Harley   Z[VWPUJ [)H`[V*OHWT m  Camps  Ba y   S\K HU your  ch LK:4:/(9 »Z7LHRKYPUR 3, @[V  ance  to  w  4HYJ in.  Competitio MVY n  ends   O w w w.c . a VYJVU[H pecorporatet V[V o J VYOK' [1HZVUVU urs.co.za   SP]LJVa    HM Harley  t eam-bu VYPUMVVUV[O  LY ilding/c o rporate WHJ R HN   LZ

South  Africans AT  WORK

saying  â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;yesâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;  to  the  global  challenge  

ah,  work.  It  can  be  exciting,  tedious,  creative  or  pressu-

London

rised.  Occasionally  itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  all  those  adjectives  in  just  one  day.  But   VUL[OPUNHSTVZ[HS^H`ZHWWSPLZ!P[»ZM\SSVMJOHSSLUNLZMVY^OPJO weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve  received  scant  training.  So  how  do  others  negotiate  the   hurdles? thislife^LU[NSVIHSHUKHZRLK[OYLLOPNOWV^LYLK :V\[O(MYPJHUZYV\UK[OL^VYSKHIV\[SPMLPU[OLVMÃ&#x201E;JL¯

Ken  Costa,  63,  was  born  to  citrus  farmer  parents  in   Tzaneen,  and  studied  at  Wits  before  going  on  to  study  at  Cambridge   University,  UK.  An  illustrious  life  in  the  City  of  London  followed.  He  was   vice-­chairman  of  the  giant  UBS  Investment  Bank  for  over  30  years  before   becoming  chairman  of  Lazard  International,  a  job  from  which  he  retired   in  2011.  Still  involved  in  a  number  of  interests,  he  is  married  to  Fi,  a   musician.  They  have  four  children  and  live  in  central  London

TELL  US  ABOUT  A  TIME  YOU  HAD  TO  SAY  SORRY  AT   WORK!  I  once  was  extremely  rude  to  a  senior  colleague,  and  the  re-

YOUR  NUMBER  ONE  TIP  FOR  MANAGING  PEOPLE  WELL?  

Look  not  at  what  they  are  today,  but  what  they  will  become  tomorrow

IF  YOUâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;VE  EVER  GOT  WORK  AND  PLAY  OUT  OF  BALANCE,   WHAT  HAPPENED  AND  WHAT  DID  YOU  DO  ABOUT  IT?   ,HYS`VUPUT`^VYRPUNSPML0ILJHTLZVHIZVYILKPUHZ[PT\SH[PUNKLHS [OH[0KPKU»[ZWLHR[V-PMVYH^LLR0YLZVS]LK[VTHRLZ\YL[OH[KPKU»[ OHWWLUHNHPU0UV^[Y`[VTHRLZ\YL0ZWLHR[V-PL]LY`KH`^OLYL]LY 0HTPU[OL^VYSK.L[[PUNT`WYPVYP[PLZYPNO[PZLZZLU[PHSPM0»T[VRLLW T`SPMLPUIHSHUJL0ILSPL]L[OLYPNO[VYKLYVMWYPVYP[PLZPZ.VKT` JVYLYLSH[PVUZOPWZHUK[OL^VYR[OH[.VKOHZJHSSLKTL[V0[»ZHSZV important  to  rest

HOW  DO  YOU  MAKE  DECISIONS  AT  WORK?4HRPUN[V\NO

decisions  is  such  a  crucial  issue  in  the  workplace.  I  need  to  be  clear,   robust  and  determined,  and  be  sure  my  decisions  are  consistent  with   my  values 20      thislife.org.za      |      issue  7

picture  by  Ben  Wetherall

lationship  between  us  was  very  strained.  I  was  quite  sure  I  was  in  the   right,  and  he  in  the  wrong,  but  that  assurance  did  not  make  for  more   harmonious  relationships.  So  I  decided  to  break  the  negative  atmosphere  and  write  him  a  letter  to  say  sorry.  It  was  easier  than  a  face-toface  confrontation,  which  could  have  ended  up  making  matters  worse

HOW  OFTEN  DO  YOU  TAKE  RISKS,  AND  HOW  DO  YOU   COPE  WITH  THE  PROCESS?  Risk  is  an  essential  part  of  bank-

PUN`V\JHU»[THRLTVUL`^P[OV\[YPZRPUNP[0UHMHZ[Ã&#x2026;V^PUN^VYSK0 Ã&#x201E;UKP[LZZLU[PHS[VÃ&#x201E;_T`OLHY[HUKTPUKVU[OLYLSH[PVUZOPW0OH]L^P[O *OYPZ[;OH[»Z[OLMYHTL^VYRMVYT`L]LY`KH`SPMLPUJS\KPUN[OLYPZRZ0 take Â


worklife

The  Hague Natasha  Naidoo,  40,  was  born  in  Durban.  She  practised   as  a  criminal  defence  lawyer  and  public  prosecutor  in  South   Africa  before  becoming  a  legal  advisor  in  the  Appeals  Chamber   of  the  International  Criminal  Court  in  The  Hague,  Netherlands,   nine  years  ago.  She  loves  good  food  and  (fortunately)  travelling   and  meeting  new  people   YOUR  NUMBER  ONE  TIP  FOR  MANAGING  PEOPLE?  

7LVWSLYLZWLJ[NVVKSLHKLYZOPW0Ã&#x201E;UK[OH[PM0ZL[[OLYPNO[L_HTple  at  work,  colleagues  usually  respond  positively,  which  makes   MVYHOLHS[OPLY^VYRWSHJL6MJV\YZLUVIVK`»ZWLYMLJ[HUK^LHSS ZLSKVTNL[P[YPNO[HSS[OL[PTL0Ã&#x201E;UK[OH[^OLU[OPZOHWWLUZP[»Z IL[[LY[VHKKYLZZ[OLPZZ\LH[HUHWWYVWYPH[L[PTL[OHUWYL[LUK [OLPUJPKLU[VYTPZ\UKLYZ[HUKPUNUL]LYOHWWLULK;OLRL`PZ probably  good  communication  and  the  ability  to  listen

EVER  GOT  WORK  AND  PLAY  OUT  OF  BALANCE?;OPZPZHU

HYLH0UL]LYZLLT[VPTWYV]L\WVU;OL5L[OLYSHUKZKVLZU»[YLHSS` SLH]LVUL^P[OTHU`ºWSH`»VW[PVUZ0[»Z[VVJVSKHUKKHYRTVZ[VM[OL `LHYMVYNVPUN[V[OLILHJOVYKVPUNT\JOV\[KVVYHJ[P]P[`7LVWSL [LUK[VI\Y`[OLTZLS]LZPU^VYRHUKZVKV0/V^L]LYUV[OH]PUNH balance  in  this  area  is  not  sustainable  so  Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve  learnt  to  make  a  conZJPV\ZLÉ&#x2C6;VY[UV[[VIYPUN^VYROVTL0[OLSWZ[VOH]LºTL»[PTLVU Saturday,  and  connect  with  friends  and  church  on  Sunday,  too

WHAT  DO  YOU  FEAR  MOST  AT  WORK?0UT`SPULVM^VYRÃ&#x201E;UKing  the  right  solution  and  advising  accordingly  is  a  huge  responsibility   ^OPJOJHUILX\P[LKH\U[PUN(WHY[MYVTRUV^SLKNL0Ã&#x201E;UKH]LY`YLHS

need  to  rely  on  my  faith  to  overcome  problems  that  appear  larger  than   SPML4VZ[[PTLZSVNPJHUKYLHZVUHYLUV[LUV\NO¶0ULLKHZLUZLVM WLHJL[VRUV^T`KLJPZPVUZHYL[OLYPNO[VULZ;OPZ0Ã&#x201E;UKVUS`JVTLZ MYVTT`YLSH[PVUZOPW^P[O.VK

A  TIME  YOU  HAD  TO  SAY  SORRY  AT  WORK?  Recently  I  had   to  choose  between  apologising  to  a  supervisor  or  embarking  on  a   JVSV\YM\SKLMLUJLVMT`HJ[PVUZ^P[OV\[HJ[\HSS`ZH`PUNZVYY`-VY[OL sake  of  peace  and  not  to  waste  time  on  trivial  things,  I  apologised   immediately  and  promised  to  be  more  considerate  the  next  time.   ;OPZWYL]LU[LKHZTHSSZP[\H[PVUMYVTLZJHSH[PUNHUK0MV\UKHZPTWSL apology  engendered  more  respect  and  understanding  between  the   supervisor  and  me,  and  strengthened  our  work  relationship

San  Francisco HOW  DO  YOU  MAKE  DECISIONS  AT  WORK?*HYLM\SS`;OLYLHYL

[OV\ZHUKZVMWOV[VNYHWOLYZV\[[OLYL^OV»KSV]LT`QVIZV0[Y`[VTHRL as  few  mistakes  as  possible

picture  by  Heather  Hryciw

YOUR  NUMBER  ONE  TIP  FOR  MANAGING  PEOPLE  WELL?   3PZ[LUJHYLM\SS`)LRPUK9LTLTILY[OH[UVIVK`»ZH[[OLPYILZ[L]LY`KH` :H`[OHUR`V\0[Y`UV[[VSL[T`HU_PL[`VYMY\Z[YH[PVUZOV^0Ã&#x201E;UK[OPZ helps  keep  my  team  on  track

Commercial  photographer  James  Baigrie,  41,  grew  up   in  Cape  Town,  and  studied  at  Bishops  College,  then  UCT,  before   moving  to  New  York  City,  where  he  discovered  photography.  He  is   married  to  Capetonian  Karen  Stead,  whom  he  met  when  she  was   au  pairing  in  New  York.  They  now  live  across  the  Golden  Gate   bridge  from  San  Francisco  with  their  two  sons,  two  dogs,  a  snake   and  a  gecko

EVER  GOT  WORK  AND  PLAY  OUT  OF  BALANCE?  I  had  work  and   WSH`V\[VMIHSHUJLMVY`LHYZ0SP]LKPU5L^@VYR*P[`HUK^VYRLKT`ZLSM to  the  bone.  What  did  I  do  about  it?  I  moved  to  California  where  I  have   MV\UKºIHSHUJL»MHYTVYLH[[HPUHISL0^VYROHYKZ\YMTV\U[HPUIPRLHUK ZWLUKHSV[VM[PTL^P[OT`MHTPS`VU[OLILHJOHUKPU[OLTV\U[HPUZ6\Y JO\YJOJVTT\UP[`OLSWZHSV[[VV>L»]LQVPULKHZTHSSI\[]PIYHU[SVJHS church,  and  this  has  given  me  a  new  perspective  on  life,  helping  me  to   ºZ[LWV\[»VMT`ZLSM WHAT  DO  YOU  FEAR  MOST  AT  WORK?  Not  having  enough  of  it!  In  

T`I\ZPULZZ[OLYL»ZUVN\HYHU[LLHUV[OLYQVIPZPU[OLWPWLSPUL0[Y`UV[[V let  this  unnerve  me

A  TIME  YOU  HAD  TO  SAY  SORRY  AT  WORK?  I  canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t  think  of  any   VULIPNPZZ\LI\[0ZH`ZVYY`MVYZTHSS[OPUNZHSS[OL[PTL-VYPUZ[HUJL giving  people  poor  direction  on  a  set HOW  DO  YOU  AVOID  YOUR  JOB  TAKING  OVER  YOUR  LIFE?   I  work  in  a  profession  that  attracts  workaholics,  and  have  spent  years  trying   [VÃ&#x201E;NO[[OPZ[LUKLUJ`0IVVROVSPKH`ZHUK[Y`[VVYNHUPZLT`^VYRZJOLK\SL accordingly.  I  donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t  spend  my  weekends  in  front  of  my  computer,  and  try  to   accept  there  are  certain  things  that  will  simply  need  to  wait.  I  donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t  let  my   Ã&#x201E;UHUJPHSNVHSZKVTPUH[LT`SPML0[»ZUV[LHZ`[VYLTHPUJVTWL[P[P]LPUI\ZPULZZ ^OPSLÃ&#x201E;UKPUNHOLHS[O`IHSHUJLIL[^LLU^VYRMHTPS`HUKWLYZVUHSSPML0KVU»[ have  the  perfect  answer  to  this  yet! thislife.org.za      |      issue  7        21


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22    thislife.org.za      |      issue  7        


coolstories

()\PSKLY»Z;HSL Robin  WilliamsPZHWYVWLY[`HZZLZZVYMVYHSHYNLIHURPUNPUZ[P[\[L /LPZTHYYPLK[V-LSPJP[`HJH[LYLYHUK[OL`SP]LPU.YHZZ`7HYR

i

Robin  Williams  found  hope  and  healing  while  working  on  a  hospital  in  Madagascar

always  wanted  to  do  some  kind  of   poverty  relief  work  but  I  went  through   the  wars  for  a  while  in  my  life,  including   a  horrendous  four-year  divorce  which  I   tried  hard  to  avoid.  I  felt  challenged  in   L]LY`^H`HUK^YP[[LUVÉ&#x2C6;I`THU`0JV\U[LK as  friends.   I  went  through  a  healing  period,  then  an   opportunity  came  up  in  my  church  to  go  with   a  medical  and  building  team  to  a  hospital  in   4HKHNHZJHY0[MLS[SPRL[OLYPNO[[PTL0NV[T` ]HJJPUH[PVUZZVY[LKHUKÃ&#x2026;L^V]LY^P[OHYLJJL [LHT0[^HZ[OLÃ&#x201E;YZ[[PTL0OHKSLM[:V\[O African  shores!

clean 4HKHNHZJHYPZYHURLKV\[VM[OLWVVYLZ[ nations  in  the  world  and  I  was  blown  away  by   P[ZWV]LY[`+\L[VTHSU\[YP[PVUTVZ[4HKHgascans  only  came  up  to  my  shoulder  â&#x20AC;&#x201C;  and   0»]LHS^H`Z[OV\NO[0»TZTHSS(IV\[ VM people  live  in  mud  huts  or  huge  metal  drums.   ;LTWLYH[\YLZHYLVM[LUPU[OLMVY[PLZHUKML^ people  have  anything  like  a  fridge.

6\YKLZ[PUH[PVU^HZ(U[HUPTHSHUK`/VZWP[HS PU4HOHQHUNHHJVHZ[HS[V^UOV\YZMYVT the  airport  by  bus.  It  was  very  clean,  but  very   V\[KH[LK!:V\[O(MYPJHPZHOLHKI`SLHWZHUK bounds!   0U4HKHNHZJHYPM`V\Z[H`PUOVZWP[HSZVTLone  has  to  go  with  you  to  do  your  washing,   JVVRPUNHUKNLULYHSJHYL;OL`[OLUZSLLWPU shacks  outside  or  on  mats  under  trees.  When   the  monsoons  come,  they  cram  into  the  metal   drums,  or  sleep  under  the  patientâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  bed!  We   felt  the  biggest  building  need  was  for  canteens   and  accommodation  for  these  families,  as  well   as  a  boundary  wall  to  stop  people,  dogs  and   other  animals  using  the  hospital  as  a  shortcut! :P_TVU[OZSH[LYPU1\S`^L^LU[IHJR HZH[LHTVMHIV\[TVZ[S`TLKPJZ^OV helped  inside  the  hospital,  and  a  building   [LHT^OPJO0SLK4`JO\YJOWHPKMVY[OL building  materials,  and  we  all  paid  for  our   own  airfares  and  accommodation  â&#x20AC;&#x201C;  about   9LHJO>L^VYRLKH[[OLOVZWP[HSMVY [OYLL^LLRZ[YHPUPUN`V\UNSVJHSZKHPS`)` the  time  we  had  left,  we  had  done  double  the   amount  of  work  planned,  and  the  locals  could  

OH]LX\HSPÃ&#x201E;LKHZVWLYH[VYIYPJRSH`LYZ>LWSHU to  go  back  to  the  hospital  every  year.  Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m  very   excited  about  the  next  trip,  and  really  hope   ^LLTWV^LYLKV\YNYV\WVM4HKHNHZJHUZ[V build  things  themselves.  

ashes ;OYV\NO[OPZWYVJLZZ0OH]LJVTL[VILSPL]L [OH[ZVTL[PTLZ.VKHSSV^Z\Z[VNV[OYV\NO hurts  and  disappointments  in  life  to  build  us   up  stronger,  and  to  use  us  to  show  his  love  to   the  world.  When  life  is  hard,  weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re  tempted  to   believe  we  have  lost  out,  but  we  need  to  ignore   that  feeling.  Life  might  have  thrown  me  a  curve   ball,  but  I  ended  up  being  part  of  a  team  that   worked  for  others.  It  feels  as  if  I  was  raised   up  from  the  ashes,  and  given  hope  and  a   purpose.â&#x20AC;&#x2122;

Robin  went  on  the  Madagascar  mission   with  Common  Ground  Church   (www.commonground.co.za)

[OPZWHNLWYV\KS`ZWVUZVYLKI`[OL>PSZVUMHTPS`<:(!4PRL )HYIHYH>PSZVU VM)\É&#x2C6;HSV/LSLU>PSZVUVM+L[YVP[HUK3Pa>PSZVUVM6RSHOVTH*P[` thislife.org.za     |      issue  7        23


hotmedia

:;<--7,673,36=, Capetonians  tell  us  what  inspired  them

%22.  Unbroken,  by  Laura  Hillenbrand         Reviewed  by  Dalmari  Steward,  secretary,  Plumstead   :KHUHWRJHWLW,_JS\ZP]L)VVRZVY^^^L_JS\Z]LZJVaH &RVWfrom  R170

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OPZ[Y\LZ[VY`PZHT\Z[YLHK!HYP]L[PUNUHYYH[P]LVMSLHKLYship  and  endurance  in  all  its  forms.  Recounting  the  life  of   Louis  Zamperini,  an  Olympic  runner  and  World  War  II  veteran,  its  story  of  a  man  suffering,  surviving  and  forgiving  inspired   me  deeply.   Louisâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;  story  has  broad  appeal,  but  will  have  particular  interest   for  anyone  interested  in  North  Americaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  involvement  as  an  ally   in  the  war,  and  particularly  in  the  conditions  that  prisoners  of   war  were  forced  to  endure  in  Japanese  camps. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m  not  a  fan  of  historical  details  but  what  particularly  interested   TL^HZ3V\PZ»L_WLYPLUJLVM.VK^OLUOL[OV\NO[OL^V\SKU»[ survive.  It  inspired  me  never  to  give  up  hope.â&#x20AC;&#x2122;

%22.  Diary  of  a  Wimpy  Kid:  Cabin  Fever,   by  Jeff  Kinney Reviewed  by  Uel  Osano,  10,  Kenilworth  schoolboy     :KHUHWRJHWLW^^^RHSHOHYPJVT &RVWMYVT9

i

SPRLK[OPZIVVR[OLZP_[OPU[OL>PTW`2PKZLYPLZ because  itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  interesting,  super-hilarious  and  easy  to  read   HUK\UKLYZ[HUK0[»ZHT\ZPUNOV^.YLN[OLTHPUJOHYHJ[LY OPZILZ[MYPLUK9V^SL`HUKOPZVSKLYIYV[OLYRLLWWYHURPUN each  other. ;OLIVVRPUZWPYLKTL[VZ[H`V\[VM[YV\ISLHUK[VILRPUK[V T`MYPLUKZL]LU[OLNVVM`VULZ1\Z[SPRL.YLNPZ[V9V^SL` Rowley  gets  him  into  trouble  by  sending  an  anonymous  note   to  the  principal  which  says,  *UHJ+HIÃ&#x20AC;H\YDQGDOLVHGWKH school,â&#x20AC;&#x2122;I\[.YLNKVLZU»[[OLUKV^OH[`V\»KL_WLJ[ ;OPZIVVRPZSPRLS`[VHWWLHS[VNYHKLMV\YHUKÃ&#x201E;]LRPKZ¶ though  my  mother  loved  reading  it  as  well!â&#x20AC;&#x2122;

WIN!

5PJR â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Unsto=\QPJPJ»ZSH[L  <5:;6 ppableâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;.  SimZ[IVVR your  c 77()3,[V ply  SMS    h copies ance  to  win MVY  o .  Com petitio ne  of  3   13 (Prize    March  2013n  ends   donate .   )VVRZ d  by  CUM   w w w.c OVWZ um.co . za

DVD  The  Vow Reviewed  by  Karen  van  Niekerk,  admin  assistant,  Tokai :KHUHWRJHWLW  all  leading  DVD  retailers   &RVWR159,95

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his  is  a  love  story!  A  dramatic  Romeo-and-Juliet-type  story,   with  love,  pain,  deceit,  honour...  all  the  ingredients  of  a  good   movie.  On  their  delightfully  unique  wedding  day,  Leo  promises   7HPNL!µ,YRZWR¿HUFHO\ORYH\RXLQDOO\RXUIRUPVQRZ

and  forever.  I  promise  to  never  forget  that  this  is  a  once-­ in-­a-­lifetime  love.â&#x20AC;&#x2122;

I  donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t  want  to  ruin  the  plot  and  say  what  happens  in  this  movie,   I\[[HRLP[HZYLHK[OH[[OPZWYVTPZLILJVTLZKLLWS`ZPNUPÃ&#x201E;JHU[ The  romance  is  fun,  light  and  endearing,  but  there  is  tragedy  and   pain  too,  which  is  dealt  with  sincerely.  I  felt  totally  immersed  in   the  situation. Leo  is  every  womanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  hero,  as  he  single-mindedly  pursues  his   ]V^V]LYJVTPUNVIZ[HJSLZ[OH[OLUL]LYRUL^L_PZ[LK;OL TV]PLPZSVVZLS`IHZLKVUH[Y\LZ[VY`HUKTHKLTL[OPURHIV\[ the  marriage  vow,  and  just  how  serious  it  actually  is.â&#x20AC;&#x2122;

24     thislife.org.za      |      issue  7

%22.  Life  without  Limits:  Inspiration  for  a       Ridiculously  Good  Life  I`5PJR=\QPJPJ

9L]PL^LKI`9VY`:OLHÃ&#x201E;UHUJPHSWSHUULY,KNLTLHK :KHUHWRJHWLW2HYTHS)VVRZ)LYN]SPL[ *<4)VVRZOVWZ^^^J\TJVaH &RVWfrom  R109,95

a

\Z[YHSPHU5PJR=\QPJPJ^HZIVYU^P[OV\[HYTZVYSLNZ and  was  considering  suicide  by  the  age  of  eight.  Yet   OLOHZ^YP[[LUHKLLWS`LUJV\YHNPUNIVVR/PZJLU[YHS TLZZHNLPZ[OH[P[»ZLZZLU[PHSMVY\ZHSS[VÃ&#x201E;UKV\YW\YWVZLPU SPMLKLZWP[L[OLKPMÃ&#x201E;J\S[PLZ[OH[Z[HUKPUV\Y^H`5PJR^OV»Z now  30,  learnt  to  type  with  his  toes,  comb  his  hair,  answer   the  phone  and  shave,  and  ended  up  being  elected  captain   of  his  school.  He  surfs,  plays  tennis,  got  married  last  year   and  is  hoping  to  become  a  father  in  the  future!  Using  his  own   experience  in  overcoming  challenges,  he  suggests  practical   ^H`ZVMÃ&#x201E;UKPUNOVWLHUKYLHSPZPUNHM\SÃ&#x201E;SSLKSPML (ML^`LHYZHNV0^HZWYP]PSLNLK[VTLL[5PJR^OLUOL visited  South  Africa  and  motivated  many  of  the  inmates  and   ^HYKLYZVM7VSSZTVVY7YPZVU/PZÃ&#x201E;YZ[^VYKZ[VTL^LYL! â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Give  me  a  big  hug!â&#x20AC;&#x2122;  It  is  greatly  motivating  to  realise  that  I   too  can  live  a  life  without  limits  if  I  accept  what  I  canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t  control,   and  focus  on  what  I  can.â&#x20AC;&#x2122;


lovelife

7Hot

7LSVIRU Husbands

HRH;PWZMVY Hot  Husbandsâ&#x20AC;¦)

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Husbands  would  do  well  to  ignore  their  wivesâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;  emotional  meltdowns

hereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  many  a  wife  

sorely  tempted  at  times   to  buy  her  husband  the   IVVRâ&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Women  are  from   Venus,  and  Men  are  Wrongâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;.   For  while  marriage  is  a  thing   of  luminous  beauty,  men   can  get  a  little  lost  navigating  its  obscurer  pathways.   In  an  attempt  to  help   confused  husbands,  Helga   ]HU5PLRLYRTVYUPUNOVZ[ of  Cape  Town-based  radio   station  &&)P,   surveyed  a  number  of   women  around  her  for  their   [VW[PWZMVYTHRPUN^P]LZ happy.  Here,  she  presents   a  selection  of  the  responses   ZOLNV[¯

AFFIRM!  (SS^VTLUULLK[VILHÉ&#x2030;YTLKIL told  they  are  beautiful,  clever,  talented,  helpful.   ;LSSOLYZOL»Z^VUKLYM\S[OLILZ[[OPUN[OH[ OHWWLULK[V`V\;LSS`V\YJOPSKYLU[OLPYTV[OLY PZHZ[HY(É&#x2030;YTH[PVUL]LY`KH`VUJLH[SLHZ[ ZL]LYHS[PTLZPZIL[[LY;OPURZOLKVLZU»[ULLK it  when  she  gets  to  70  or  80?  Rubbish  -  she   does!  Women  also  need  to  be  thanked.  Whether   sheâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  cooked  supper,  done  the  housework  or   gone  out  to  work  all  day,  start  saying  thank  you,   and  say  it  often!   IGNORE  THE  MELTDOWNS!  ;OPZPZH

HUGEVUL4HU`^VTLUHYLLTV[PVUHSHUK OVYTVUHS;OL`ULLK[OLPYO\ZIHUKZ»\UJVUKPtional  acceptance  and  support  when  they  have   HTLS[KV^UZLLTPUNS`MVYUVYLHZVU.\`Z`V\ TH`UV[\UKLYZ[HUKHÃ&#x2026;VVKVM[LHYZHU\UYLHZVUHISLV\[I\YZ[VYHZUHWW`YL[VY[Q\Z[NP]L them  some  understanding  and  acceptance.   â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  going  to  be  all  right,â&#x20AC;&#x2122;  is  often  all  they  need   [VOLHY,TV[PVUHSZ\WWVY[PZLZZLU[PHSMVYH^PML to  feel  happy.

LISTEN!6OT`^VYK0OHKHU\TILYVM women  saying  they  wanted  their  husbandâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s   attention!  And  this  means  full  attention  when   KPZJ\ZZPUNZVTL[OPUN;OL`KVU»[^HU[[VIL JVTWL[PUN^P[O;=JLSSWOVULZVYJVTW\[LYZ ;OL`^HU[O\ZIHUKZ[VZ[VW^OH[[OL`»YLKVPUN to  listen  to  what  their  wives  are  saying.  Wives   want  to  be  heard.  Women  like  to  talk!   TALK!  @V\Y^PMLHSZV^HU[Z[VRUV^^OH[

you  think.  Speak  to  her  about  whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  going  on  

/,3.( )06

in  your  life.  She  wants  to  know.  Communicate   with  her  about  work,  golf,  family  and  how  you   are  feeling.

HELP! Â +P]PZPVUVMSHIV\YPZHS^H`ZNVPUN[V

be  an  issue  in  the  home  that  needs  negotiation.   Women  need  help  to  meet  both  their  physical   HUKLTV[PVUHSULLKZ;OLILZ[RPUKVMOLSWPZ [OH[^OPJOPZVÉ&#x2C6;LYLK>P]LZKVU»[SPRLJVU[PU\ally  asking  to  have  something  done  until  you   actually  do  it.  Look  for  what  needs  doing,  and   KVP[0[»SSTHRLHSS[OLKPÉ&#x2C6;LYLUJL[V`V\Y marriage.

THINK! Â 4HU`^VTLUSV]LZ\YWYPZLZHUK

when  a  husband  surprises  his  wife,  she  knows   she  has  been  thought  about  during  the  day.  An   unexpected  gift  at  an  unexpected  time  goes  a   long  way  to  keeping  a  wife  happy.  A  phone  call   PU[OLTPKKSLVM[OLKH`4HRPUNHJ\WVM[LH HZRPUNPM`V\JHUOLSW[OLT^P[OHU`[OPUN!`V\»SS OH]LHOHWW`^PML+VU»[L]LYMVYNL[IPY[OKH`Z =HSLU[PUL»Z+H`4V[OLY»Z+H`HUK6-*6<9:, `V\YHUUP]LYZHY`4HRLHM\ZZ>VTLUSV]LP[

HAVE  INTEGRITY!  Wives  admire  a  hus-

IHUK^P[OOPNOPU[LNYP[`;OPZPUJS\KLZH]VPKing  even  the  appearance  of  bad  things.  So   donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t  turn  to  a  woman  whoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  not  your  wife  for   anything  that  may  even  look  as  if  youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re  doing   [OPUNZ[VNL[OLYLN!HTLHSNHTLVMZX\HZO QVNKPZJ\ZZPVUHIV\[`V\Y^PMLI\ZPULZZKLHS ;OL^VTLU0ZWVRL[V^HU[[OLPYO\ZIHUKZ[V MVSSV^.VK»ZKLZPNUMVYTHYYPHNLHUKTHU` also  want  them  to  follow  Jesus  for  help  and   direction.â&#x20AC;&#x2122;

Next  time:  HOT  TIPS  FOR  WIVES.  Whether   youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re  a  husband  or  a  wife,  we  want  yours,  too!   Send  them  to  thislifemag@gmail.com.  Best  tip   wins  the  DVD  â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;The  Vowâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;,  donated  by  Nu  Metro   (www.numetro.co.za)

([[OLHNLVMZP_/LSNH]HU5PLRLYR^HU[LK[VILHUHPYOVZ[LZZ0UZ[LHKZOLILJHTLHU\YZPUNZPZ[LY(ML^`LHYZSH[LY[OPZYLZV\YJLM\S APTIHI^LHUMV\UKOLYZLSMZLSSPUNHK]LY[PZPUNMVY*HWL;V^UIHZLKYHKPVZ[H[PVU**-T^OLYLZOL^HZHZRLKVULKH`[VWYLZLU[H ZOVY[OLHS[OWYVNYHTTL:OL»ZUV^HUHUJOVYWYLZLU[LYWYLZLU[PUN[OL9PZLHUK:OPUL:OV^VU^LLRKH`ZMYVT[V HT/LSNHPZTHYYPLK [V4PRLHSHUKZ\Y]L`VY[OL`OH]L[^VNYV^UJOPSKYLUHUKZOL»ZHWYVSPÃ&#x201E;JISVNNLY^OVZLSPML`V\JHUMVSSV^H[^^^OLSNH]HUJVT Best  thing  about  her  marriage?  â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Having  a  best  friend  to  do  this  life  with,  and  being  accepted  for  what  I  am.  Of  course  itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  also  great  to   OH]LHJYLKP[JHYKSPURLK[V4PRL»ZIHURHJJV\U[>OLUP[NV[Z[VSLUOLKPKU»[YLWVY[P[ILJH\ZL[OL[OPLM^HZZWLUKPUNSLZZ[OHUTL1VRL»

thislife.org.za     |      issue  7      25


parentlife

Parents vs

Teens testing  you?  Learning  to  listen  to  them  could  be  the  key  to  mutual  happiness

TEENS making it  all  better

SO,

you’re scared  of  your  teenager.  In  fact,   `V\»YL[OPURPUNVMY\UUPUNH^H`[VH]VPK[OLPY exhausting  emotional  rollercoasters.  Everything  has   changed  since  you  strutted  your  teenage  stuff  in   ÅHYLZHUKZHUNPUUVJLU[S`HSVUN[V(IIHHUK`V\ and  your  fHJLIVVRHKKPJ[LK[LLUKVU»[ZLLT[VOH]L a  single  thing  in  common.  Or  perhaps  family  life  is   WYL[[`YVZ`UV^I\[`V\»KSPRL[VIHURHML^[HJ[PJZ PUJHZL`V\YJ\[LRPKTVYWOZV]LYUPNO[PU[V/\YYPJHUL :HUK`¯ If  any  of  this  sounds  like  you,  a  parenting  course  run  regularly  in  Kenilworth   could  be  just  what  you’re  looking  for.  Parenting  Teenagers  has  inspired  a   variety  of  South  African  parents  seeking  to  improve  their  parenting  skills  and   get  the  best  out  of  their  relationship  with  their  teens.  Here,  two  Capetonians   tell  how  the  course  helped  them

26    thislife.org.za      |      issue  7


parentlife

WIN!

)YLHR MH  Z at  Frien [VYS\UJOMVY[^ ds  CafÊ V ,   (w w w.f riendsc Claremont   afe.co.z a)

:PTWS`: 4:for  your   90,5+:[V  c ha Compe nce  to  win tition  en ds   13  Marc h  2013

t

revor  and  I  attended  the  course  when  our   JOPSKYLU^LYLHUK>L^HU[LK[VLX\PW ourselves  with  the  skills  necessary  for  raising   teenagers.  We  knew  weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d  need  them  to  cope   with  the  physical  and  emotional  changes  our   children  were  going  through.   >LSV]LK[OLJV\YZLHZP[^HZ^LSSYV\UKLK)HZLK on  biblical  values  and  featuring  both  live  speakers   HUK+=+ZP[JV]LYLKHOVZ[VM[VWPJZMYVTOVYTVUHS changes  and  modern  pressures  to  helping  your  teen   NYV^PU[VHYLZWVUZPISLHK\S[>LOHKHJ\WVMJVÉ&#x2C6;LL or  tea  when  we  arrived,  listened  to  a  talk,  watched  a   +=+HUKIYVRL\WPU[VZTHSSNYV\WZ[VKPZJ\ZZ^OH[ ^LOHKQ\Z[OLHYK4LL[PUNWHYLU[ZNVPUN[OYV\NO similar  challenges  was  an  added  bonus  â&#x20AC;&#x201C;  thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s   something  very  therapeutic  about  knowing  your   situation  isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t  unique! ;OPZNLULYH[PVUVMJOPSKYLUPZL_WVZLK[VJOHSSLUNing  issues  such  as  drugs,  alcohol  and  other  vices,  

i

QVPULK[OLJV\YZL^OLUT`JOPSKYLU^LYL HUKZL]LUILJH\ZL0MLS[0ULLKLK[VI\PSK up  my  parenting  skills  now  that  I  had  a  teenHNLYPU[OLOV\ZL4`KH\NO[LYOHKOP[[LLUagehood  with  minimum  fuss  and  was  sailing   along  happily,  but  I  wanted  to  learn  how  to   negotiate  this  new  arena  as  the  dynamics  of  our   relationship  changed.   6ULVM[OL[OPUNZ0SPRLKHIV\[[OLJV\YZL^HZ[OH[P[ VÉ&#x2C6;LYLKPUZWPYH[PVUVUOV^[VKLHS^P[O]HYPV\Z ZP[\H[PVUZHUKNH]LTLJVUĂ&#x201E;KLUJL[OH[0^HZUÂť[ILPUN[VVSLUPLU[VY[VVZ[YPJ[-VYPUZ[HUJL^LULLKLK to  learn  how  to  negotiate  a  choice  of  movies,  or   ^LLRLUKWHY[`J\YML^Z;OLJV\YZLOLSWLK[VLX\PW TL[VILHIL[[LYÂşVUS`WHYLU[ÂťZPUJL[OLSVZZVMT` husband  in  2008.  Its  appeal  was  that  it  emphasised   wholesome  family  values  while  still  acknowledging   KPÉ&#x2C6;LYLU[WHYLU[PUNZ[`SLZ All  the  facilitators  were  experienced  parents  who   ^LYLM\Y[OLYHSVUN[OLWHYLU[PUNQV\YUL`;OL` shared  from  personal  experience  and  their  insights   ^LYL]LY`OLSWM\S;OLMHJ[[OH[L]LY`VUL\UKLY[VVR JVUĂ&#x201E;KLU[PHSP[`K\YPUN[OLZTHSSNYV\WZLZZPVUZ

Parenting  Teens  is  run  intermittently   I`*OYPZ[*O\YJO2LUPS^VY[O ^^^JOYPZ[JO\YJOVYNaH WHOâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S  IT  FOR?  Any  parent  of  a  teenHNLYVYWYL[LLU`LHYZVSKMYVTHU`WHY[ VM*HWL;V^U^OV^V\SKSPRL[VZ[YLUN[OLU their  relationship  with  their  teen.  No  need  to   be  a  church  member!

and  parents  often  donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t  know  how  to  help  them   navigate  life  and  still  come  out  on  top.  We  wanted   [VTHRLZ\YLV\YZOHK[OL[VVSZ[OL`ÂťKULLK;OL course  taught  us  the  importance  of  providing  our   teens  with  a  loving  space  where  they  would  feel  safe   HUKHJJLW[LK;OPZIVVZ[LK[OLPYJVUĂ&#x201E;KLUJLSL]LSZ because  they  knew  we  loved  them,  no  matter  how   they  behaved.    

empathy Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d  always  believed  children  had  to  listen  to  their   parents,  but  never  realised  we  needed  to  listen  to   them,  too.  We  began  to  allow  them  to  interact  with   us  and  voice  their  opinions  more.  Learning  to  listen   and  express  empathy  for  your  teenagersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;  feelings   PZ[OLIHZPZVMNVVKJVTT\UPJH[PVU;OHURZ[V[OL JV\YZLV\YYLSH[PVUZOPW^P[OV\YJOPSKYLUKLĂ&#x201E;UP[LS` improved.â&#x20AC;&#x2122;  

>VUP[H7L[LYZLUZJPLU[PĂ&#x201E;J YLZLHYJOVÉ&#x2030;JLYHUKOLY O\ZIHUK;YL]VYI\PSKPUN WYVQLJ[THUHNLYVM 4LHKV^YPKNLZPNULK\W for  the  course  in  2008

created  an  atmosphere  where  one  could  talk   JHUKPKS`HIV\[VULZWHYLU[PUNJOHSSLUNLZ;OL º[HRLOVTLX\LZ[PVUOLSWLKTL[OPURHIV\[^OH[ I  was  learning,  and  gave  me  the  opportunity  to  put   [OLSLZZVUZPU[VWYHJ[PJL4`KH\NO[LYHWWYLJPH[LK [OLºOVTL^VYR0^HZNL[[PUNILJH\ZLP[NH]LOLY reassurance  that  I  was  taking  the  changing  relationship  seriously.  

freedom ;OLOHYKWHY[HZHWHYLU[^HZSLHYUPUN[VHSSV^ oneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  teenagers  more  freedom,  and  the  space  to   take  responsibility  for  their  own  decisions. ;OLJV\YZLNH]LTLPUZWPYH[PVUPUZPNO[HUKLUcouragement.  A  parent  can  easily  get  distracted  by   HSS[OLÂşUVPZLÂťMYVTHI\Z`OV\ZLOVSKHUKMVYNL[[V focus  on  the  long-term  goal  of  helping  teenagers   NYV^PU[V^LSSHKQ\Z[LKYLZWVUZPISLHUKJVUĂ&#x201E;KLU[ young  adults  able  to  make  their  way  in  the  world.   It  reminded  me  of  the  importance  of  a  consistent,   loving  home  environment,  good  values  and  healthy   relationships  in  achieving  this  goal.â&#x20AC;&#x2122;

WHY  DO  IT?Âş0[ÂťZHNYLH[VWWVY[\UP[`[V stop  and  think  about  some  of  the  challenges   that  we  face  as  parents,â&#x20AC;&#x2122;  says  co-ordinator   /PSHY`2LYYÂş@V\SLHYU[VI\PSKOLHS[O` relationships  with  your  teenager,  as  well  as   having  time  to  work  through  tricky  issues.  Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s   also  good  to  know  youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re  not  alone  in  your   parental  challenges!â&#x20AC;&#x2122;

/tSuUL]HUKLY4LY^L )HURZHYJOP[LJ[VM 4V^IYH`H[[LUKLK[OL JV\YZLPU

THE  NEXT  COURSE  will  be  held   K\YPUN[OLUK[LYTZ[HY[PUN 4H`;PTL!¶ WT*VZ[!9WLY WLYZVUVY9WLYJV\WSLHZZPZ[HUJL H]HPSHISLPMJVZ[PZHUPZZ\L-VYTVYLPUMV JVU[HJ[/PSHY`2LYYVU  ;VIVVRJVU[HJ[:\L7LUaOVYUVU Z\L'JJRVYNaHVY  thislife.org.za      |      issue  7        27


infomoment

LIFE  SUPPORT  

Looking  for  something  new?   Maybe  thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  something  here  for  youâ&#x20AC;¦

parenting Â

BABIES$1'72''/(56  Share  the   experience  of  motherhood  at  Moms   Connect  baby  and  toddler  group,  with   good  coffee  and  new  friends  in  a  supportive  environment.  :KHUH"  Christ   Church,  Richmond  Road,  Kenilworth.   ;O\YZKH`ZK\YPUNZJOVVS[LYT![V 11.30am.  Babies  &  toddlers  obviously   ^LSJVTL[VV*VU[HJ[!1PSS4H[OL^  VYZ\L'JJRVYNaH 7((1$*(56  Join  other  parents  to   THRL[OLTVZ[VMWHYLU[PUN[LLU agers  at  Parenting  Teens,  a  term-long   course  (see  our  feature  on  this  course   VUWVM[OPZTHNHaPUL>OLYL&*OYPZ[ Church,  Richmond  Road,  Kenilworth.   Contact  Sue  Penzhorn  on  021  797  6332   VYZ\L'JJRVYNaHMVYTVYLKL[HPSZ

marriage

0$55,$*(35(3$5$7,21(^LLRS` course  open  to  all  couples,  church   members  or  not!  Run  three  times  a  year   by  Christ  Church,  Kenilworth.  :KHUH"   Christ  Church,  Richmond  Road,   Kenilworth.  Contact  Sue  Penzhorn  on    VYZ\L'JJRVYNaHMVY more  details ALREADY MARRIED-HUJ`H^LLRS` date  with  your  spouse?  Just  the  two   VM`V\¶[V[HSR[VNL[OLYILZLY]LKH delicious  meal  and  have  some  input  to   encourage  and  challenge  you  in  your   relationship!  Recommended  for  ALL   marriages,  blooming  or  a  little  parched.   No  need  to  belong  to  any  church.   :KHUH"  Christ  Church,  Richmond   Road,  Kenilworth.  Contact  Sue   Penzhorn  on  021  797  6332  or   Z\L'JJRVYNaHMVYTVYLKL[HPSZ

28     thislife.org.za      |      issue  7        

personal

:$17025(&/$5,7<  on  where   your  responsibilities  lie  â&#x20AC;&#x201C;  and  where   [OL`KVU»[&3VVRPUN[VSP]LTVYLSPNO[S` without  comparing  yourself  to  others?   The  Boundaries  Course  has  been  run   for  10  years,  with  great  results.  :KHUH"   Christ  Church,  Richmond  Road,   Kenilworth.  Contact  Sue  Penzhorn  on    VYZ\L'JJRVYNaHMVY more  details *5,()6+$5(,  a  recovery  support   group  which  offers  help  and  healing  for   the  hurt  of  losing  someone  you  love,  is   run  by  Meadowridge  Baptist  Church.   *HSS:\LVU[VÃ&#x201E;UKV\[ when  the  next  group  is  starting  up St  Johnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  Parish,  Wynberg,  runs  a   ZPTPSHYNYV\W*HSS  VY JVU[HJ[2SH\ZHUK)HYIHYH/HOULILJR VURSH\ZO'NSVIHSJVaH

teen  youth  groups  

$PEies  at  Christ  Church,  Kenilworth,   JHSS1HYLK!  0HDGRZULGJH%DSWLVW&KXUFK<RXWK,   JHSS:\L! $PSOLI\'*SHYLTVU[4L[OVKPZ[ *O\YJOJHSS+H]L!  <RXWK#&KXUFKRIWKH+RO\6SLULW,   2PYZ[LUOVMJHSS(UKYL^! H4K',TTHU\LS*O\YJO>`UILYN JHSS5PJR`! *&XEHG  and  6XQGD\1LWH/LYH   ':[1VOU»Z*O\YJO>`UILYNUL_[ [V:WYPUNÃ&#x201E;LSK*VU]LU[JHSS2LLNHU VUVY.HY[OVU 073  725  697

divorce

),@65++0=69*,PZHZLYPLZVM^VYRshops  aimed  at  anyone  who  has experienced  the  devastation  of  separation  or  divorce.  :KHUH"  Christ  Church,   Richmond  Road,  Kenilworth.  Contact   Sue  Penzhorn  on  021  797  6332  or   Z\L'JJRVYNaHMVYTVYLKL[HPSZ

helping  others

HABITAT-69/<4(50;@!OLSWI\PSKH OV\ZLMVY[OVZL^P[OV\[VUL*SPJRVU www.habitat.org.za *(9,;6/,37-,,+/<5.9@ SCHOOLCHILDREN? Â *VU[HJ[!JSHPYL'aL]KL]JVJVaH

spirituality

ALPHA  is  a  fun,  non-threatening  course   that  examines  the  claims  of  Christianity,  aimed  particularly  at  anyone  who   KVLZU»[H[[LUKJO\YJOVY^OVZLLRZ [VºIY\ZO\W»[OLPYZWPYP[\HSP[`*SPJRVU www.alpha.co.za  for  courses  round  the   country.  Alternatively,  contact  the   following  churches  for  details  of  their   UL_[JV\YZL!*OYPZ[*O\YJO2LUPS^VY[O  *O\YJOVM[OL/VS` :WPYP[2PYZ[LUOVM Emmanuel  Church,  Wynberg     :[1VOU»Z*O\YJO >`UILYN  :[7OPSPW»Z *O\YJO2LU^`U :[3\RL»Z*O\YJO+PLW9P]LY  4LHKV^YPKNL)HW[PZ[ *O\YJO 6((.,1*$&+85&+7+$768,76 YOU?.P]L:[1VOU»Z7HYPZOHNV0[»Z a  lively  group  of  six  Anglican  churches   PU[OLZV\[OLYUZ\I\YIZ0M`V\»KSPRL[V Ã&#x201E;UKV\[TVYLJHSS HUK HZRMVY(SPZVUVY*OHYSV[[L

$5(<28:21'(5,1*$%287 -(6867+(-(:,6+0(66,$+" For  200  years  the  Churchâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  Ministry   HTVUN[OL1L^PZO7LVWSL*41OHZ been  investing  in  the  spiritual  rebirth   of  the  Jewish  People  and  presenting  Jesus  the  Jew  to  Christians.  To   Ã&#x201E;UKV\[HIV\[V\YJVUMLYLUJLZYHKPV WYVNYHTTLZHUK;VYHO:[\K`.YV\WZ go  to  w ww.cmj-sa.org,  or  contact  John   ([RPUZVU!QVOU'JTQZHVYNVY,KP[O :OLY!LKP[O'JTQZHVYN

prayer Â

PRAYER CLINIC  Anyone  with  physical,   emotional  or  spiritual  needs  is  welcome   to  be  prayed  for  by  experienced  prayer   counsellors  from  local  Cape  Town   churches.  Patients  are  usually  referred   by  doctors,  but  you  can  self-refer  by   JHSSPUNYLJLW[PVUH[ There  is  no  charge.  Thursdays  from  4   to  5.30pm  at  Medicross,  67  Rosmead   (]LU\L2LUPS^VY[OUV[W\ISPJOVSPKH`Z +28535$<(5/,1(  Call  Radio   CCFmâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  Prayer  Friend  Line  at  any   hour  of  the  day  or  night.  Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  manned   by  people  used  to  dealing  with  a  wide   ]HYPL[`VMZP[\H[PVUZ*HSS VYÃ&#x201E;SSV\[HWYH`LYYLX\LZ[VUSPUL /81&+7,0(35$<(56  are  held  at Claremont  Methodist  Church,   Thursdays  at  1pm,  for  anyone  who   ^VYRZPU[OLHYLH*HSS 


marketplace your guide  to  local  services  (take  the  las  out  of  looking)

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thislife.org.za    |      issue  7        29


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:DQWWRDGYHUWLVH\RXUEXVLQHVVFDUGLQRXUQH[WLVVXH" Mail  us  on  sales.thislifemag@gmail.comVYJHSS9LILJJHVUVY;VU`HVU 30      thislife.org.za      |      issue  7      


marketplace *3(::,:

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Maybe we’re  biased,  but  we  assume  that  if  our  advertisers  choose  our  mag,  they  must  be  good.  However,  if  you  don’t  receive  total  satisfaction,   WSLHZLSL[[OLHK]LY[PZLYRUV^HUKZLLRHU`YLJV\YZLMYVT[OLT,]LU[OV\NO[OLYLPZSP[[SL^LJHUKVHIV\[`V\YWHY[PJ\SHYNYPL]HUJLWSLHZLKVSL[ \ZRUV^VM`V\YJVTWSHPU[[VV¶MVYV\YM\[\YLYLMLYLUJL thislife.org.za      |      issue  7        31


retailtherapy

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top  10 feelgood presents (plus  one  for  luck!)

LOOKING  FOR  FAB  GIFTS? ;Y`[OPZSP[[SLZ[HZO;OL`»YLWYV\KS`:(HUK[OL`HSS\WSPM[[OL

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communities  that  produce  them.  Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  a  win-win  way  to  give!

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1.  Hot  cup  holders,  R46)`4\UJOH)YVVRS`U^VTLU»Z\WSPM[TLU[ WYVNYHTTL.L[[OLTH[*HYHTLS *V7HST`YH1\UJ[PVU 021  671  1195 2.  Babygrow,  R120)`/VTLIYL^H/HUV]LY7HYRJVTT\UP[` WYVQLJ[*HSS 3.  Pottery  magnets,  R45)`9LHJO4HYRL[PUN:(HZRPSSZ development  initiative  in  Johannesburg  townships.  Call  Henry  on   [VNL[[OLTPU*HWL;V^U 4.  Soft  penguin,  R290  By  Homegrow,  an  upliftment  programme   involving  Rwandan  refugees.  From  Caramel  &  Co,  Palmyra  Junction,   021  671  1195 5.  Eco-­friendly  hangers,  R604HKLI`(JHJPH^P[O VMWYVÃ&#x201E;[Z NVPUN[VLK\JH[PVUHSWYVNYHTTLZ*HSS 6.  Crocheted  facecloths,  R58  Handmade  by  the  elderly  in   Bredasdorp.  From  Wellness  Warehouse,  Palmyra  Junction,   021  671  2363 7.  Ribbon  bracelet,  R170    By  Elolo,  a  womenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s  job  creation  project.   *HSS3H\YPLVU 8.  Soy  candles,  R125  Handmade  by  ladies  from  Imizamo  Yethu   township,  Hout  Bay.  From  Wild  Olive,  Cavendish  Square,   HUK*HWL8\HY[LY  9.  Unisex  t-­shirts,  R200)`/VTLIYL^H/HUV]LY7HYRJVTT\UP[` WYVQLJ[JYLH[PUNQVIZMVY^VTLU*HSS 10.  Embroidered  frame,  R195  Handstitched  by  women  in  the   Ingwavuma  community,  KwaZulu-Natal.  Available  in  Cape  Town   MYVT7LYMLJ[.PM[Z 11.  Heart  cushion,  R300  By  Homegrow,  an  upliftment  programme   involving  Rwandan  refugees.  From  Caramel  &  Co,  Palmyra  Junction,   021  671  1195

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thislife issue 7  

Contemporary magazine with stories of hope and local living