Wellspring Issue #46 by The Wellspring

NOVEMBER 2019 // CHESHVAN 5780 // ISSUE 46

The Daily Grind

Dr. Jaques Doueck on the long-term effects of teeth grinding

Running

Low

7 nutrients most people are deficient in

On Fire

Hands Full,

Heart Fuller

How mothers of double-digit families maintain their homes and their emotional health

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W�at made you get in the ﬁeld? I think it was a combination of nature and nurture. My parents certainly planted the seeds in their baby- from the time I was 2 years old, my mother, who was a science teacher, taught me all of the bones in the body from a toy skeleton hanging on their door! But my real hands-on experience came from caring for my younger brother a"h. He suffered a complication of brain surgery, and when he returned home, he needed lots of love, attention and medical care. As a young teenager, I learned to suction, replace a tracheostomy, and much more. Most importantly, I learnt to stay calm in an emergency.

W�at was the greatest medical achievement during your time?

About Dr. Finkel Dr. Finkel graduated in 1993 from SUNY Downstate, followed by a shomer Shabbos pediatric residency. What sets him apart is his extra training with pediatric specialists, including ENT, GI, ophthalmology, dermatology, and radiology. This afforded him intimate knowledge in these areas, honing his diagnostic skills significantly. For most of his 26 years in pediatrics, he was in a private practice with renowned Dr. Robert Adler, followed by 4 years in Williamsburg in Rutledge Pediatrics, after which he recently joined ParCare’s pediatrics team. Dr. Finkel is a devoted father of seven young children. What parents and patients love most about him is his gentle attitude, soothing voice and sincere care. A mother who wants a doctor to truly listen, she knows she can count on Dr. Finkel’s calm demeanor and unhurried listening ear, keen on picking up specific circumstances. In this signature relaxed, gentle fashion, Dr. Finkel gave Wellspring a few minutes of his precious time answer some questions.

People might be surprised, but the pneumococcal vaccine (PCV13) has changed everyone's life – baby, parent, and physician. Before this vaccine, blood infections, pneumonia, and even meningitis were common enough that parents of an infant with a fever would wake up their favorite pediatrician, who would often meet them in the emergency room to perform blood work and a spinal tap in the middle of the night. Since the introduction of the vaccine, these infections have become much less common, and everybody sleeps better!

W�at’s your favorite part of the job? I am always happy when the trust I built with a family pays off. When I can save a child from the dreaded needle, I feel I did something real for the child. For example, a mother called me from the country this summer concerning her child who fell and cut her lip. She consulted two medically knowledgeable people who both recommended stitches. I asked her to send me a picture, and was comfortable advising her that this type of laceration might heal even better without stitches. When I saw the child a few weeks later, the mother gratefully showed me how it did heal beautifully, even better than another case that she knew of that was sutured!

W�at would you wish parents knew about pediatricians? I strongly believe in respecting the wishes of the family of the patient, and always make an effort to take into consideration their opinions and feelings. On the other hand, I wish families understood that their physician has an opinion that needs to be sought out and valued. I am sometimes surprised when an important medical issue comes up, and people have already decided on their approach even before asking their doctor. I believe that parents who have a caring doctor who knows their child well and whom they deeply trust have a real advantage over those who do not.

Can you share a tip for parents? Please NEVER promise a child that they won't be getting a needle, especially if you know they will! Be vague, but don't lie to a child. And after he gets a shot, don't tell him that it doesn't hurt if he is upset, just gently calm him down and move on. Most importantly – remember that good medical care is simply your proper hishtadlus, so daven to Hashem for it to be effective.

Editor In Chief Shiffy Friedman, LMSW, CNWC

COPY & RESEARCH Deputy Editor Esther Retek Nutritional Advisory Board Dr. Rachael Schindler Laura Shammah, MS, RDN Beth Warren, MS, RDN, CDN Tamar Feldman, RDN, CDE

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Digital Rivkah Shanowitz • Chanah Singal Executive Account Manager Estie Rubin 718-412-3309 Ext.2 ads@wellspringmagazine.com SUBSCRIPTION 718-412-3309 Ext.1 subscribe@wellspringmagazine.com DISTRIBUTION JMD Network LLC 718-972-0308 Esther@jmdnetworkllc.com

WELLSPRING MAGAZINE: 718-412-3309 info@wellspringmagazine.com www.wellspringmagazine.com 670 Myrtle Ave. Suite 389 Brooklyn, NY 11205

The Wellspring Magazine is published monthly by Wellspring Magazine Inc. All rights are reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part or in any form without prior written permission from the publisher is prohibited. The publisher reserves the right to edit all articles for clarity, space and editorial sensitivities. The Wellspring Magazine assumes no responsibility for the content or kashrus of advertisements in the publication, nor for the content of books that are referred to or excerpted herein. The contents of The Wellspring Magazine, such as text, graphics and other material (content) are intended for educational purposes only. The content is not intended to substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of your health care provider with any questions you have regarding your medical condition.

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From the Editor shiffy@wellspringmagazine.com

What Works for You “I followed her advice to the T,” people often say, “but it simply didn’t work for me.”

Whether it’s about the ever-present topic of weight loss, regarding parenting, relationships, or even business, time and again we wonder why something that seems to work for “everyone else” doesn’t do the trick for us. Especially when we feel stuck in a particular area, it can appear that we’re the odd one out. We’re left questioning why all of “them” seem to have it down pat, while meanwhile we’re doomed. When I reviewed the content for this issue, I noticed how this comes through as a subtle theme. In Shani Taub’s column, a reader wants to know if and why weight loss is easier for men than it is for women. In her excellent new column on emotional eating, Shira Savit brings up the topic as well. “There is no one-size-fits-all diet. What’s more, there is no perfect diet. We human beings are way more complex than simple input-output machines, in which food and nutrients go in, and perfect health and weight come out,” she writes. In the Wellbeing feature, “Hands Full, Heart Fuller,” in which mothers of large families reveal how they hold down the fort while tending to their emotional health, this phenomenon surfaces yet again. “How does she do it?” we may wonder about such women, many of whom are also holding down a job or two.

While we may be on the lookout for some universal solution, the answer can be different for each of us. The interviewees’ varied responses to the same questions serve as proof to this reality. While to one busy mother, buying pretty disposable Shabbos dishes is what helps her feel good and relaxed, another woman feels better when her beautiful china graces the table. She’d rather spend on more Motzaei Shabbos cleaning help. Just like our physical features differ, the Gemara tells us, we differ from one another internally. It’s simple for us to understand that each of us was created with a unique appearance, whether it’s our bone structure, eye color, or hair color. What’s harder for us to grasp is that our bodies, minds, and hearts operate differently as well — but that’s indeed the reality.

Well-Put!

Just because this food plan works for her doesn’t mean it’ll work for me. The effects of growing up in a particular home will not —and need not — be identical across the board. While one sibling emerges one way, the others will grow up another. Each of us is a unique being, delicate in our own way, individually special. With this in mind, here at Wellspring we aim to strike a balance that allows for picking and choosing. While there are some nonnegotiable elements that are inherent to a healthy lifestyle, others are more flexible and individual. Each of our contributors offers another perspective on the topic, some leaning more toward the conventional and others toward alternatives. It is our hope that you find what speaks to you within our pages.

This past Rosh Chodesh, after noticing that he was in desperate need of a new pair of shoes, I treated my son to a trip to the mall. Upon our return, when I went to pick up my daughter from her playdate at a friend’s house, she wasn’t thrilled to have missed out on the fun — and she voiced her displeasure rather emphatically.

“This comes up all the time in my house,” her friend’s mother said to me. “On the one hand, I’m always busy ‘evening out’ everyone’s share. But kids do need to learn that life won’t always be fair. I always tell my kids that when they grow up, they won’t all live in the same size house or have the same size family. One of my sisters imparts this message to her children by intentionally singling out one child at a time for a special treat.” Even teaching our children this important lesson comes about in different ways, depending on what works for us and our family. Now that we’re easing into the winter months, the season’s welcome routine allows us to incorporate the changes we’ve been hoping to make into our lives, to reach new goals. At the end of the day, as long as our means is within the guidelines of the Torah, what matters most is not how we get there, but that we strive to get there.

So, whether you intend to make this lifestyle improvement or that one, attend this parenting class or the other, and in every area of life, may you have much siyatta diShmaya and hatzlachah in reaching your goal!

Rooting for you, Shiffy Friedman

When a Yid is in pain, Hashem says, “Imo anochi batzarah, I am with him in his pain” (Tehillim 91:15). He doesn’t say, “You have other children,” “You must pull yourself together,” or “Why is it taking you so long to get over it?” Malky Klaristenfeld, founder and director of Knafayim, Dedicated to Health

Cheshvan 5780 | Wellspring 9

Contents

NOVEMBER 2019 CHESHVAN 5780 ISSUE 46 The next issue of Wellspring will appear iy”H on December 11th.

WELL INFORMED

TORAH WELLSPRING By Rabbi Ezra Friedman

20 SPIRITUAL EATING By Rabbi Eli Glaser, CNWC, CWMS 22 DENTAL HEALTH By Dr. Jacques Doueck, DDS 24 HEALTH UPDATES IN THE NEWS By Esther Retek 30 FIGURES By Malka Sharman 32 HEALTH ED A-Z on Acid Reflux By Laura Shammah, MS, RDN 36 DEDICATED TO HEALTH 10 Questions for Malkie Klaristenfeld By Penina Jacobs

ISSUE 46

NOVEMBER ‘19 CHESHVAN 5780

Autumn Flavors Warm up with healthful comfort foods like Mushroom Cream Soup with Rosemary Croutons

Dinner’s Done My go-to vegetable side dish that is quick and easy to prepare Bubby’s Favorites Charnie’s nutritious twist on the famous Hungarian-style cheese blintz

LIVING WELL

40 IN GOOD SHAPE It All Adds Up By Esther Fried, PFC 42 ASK THE NUTRITIONIST He or She? By Shani Taub, CDC 44 HEALTH PROFILE Client: Baily W. By Rachel Esses 46 COVER FEATURE Going Organic By Miriam Koenig 56 AT THE DIETITIAN The "All or Nothing" Dieter By Tamar Feldman, RDN, CDE 58 CUP OF TEA With Chaya Stern, RPA By Esther Retek 62 MIDLIFE MATTERS Bring on the Zzz's By Miriam Liebermann, MSW & Fryde Rekant, RN, BSN 64 MEMOS FROM A KINESIOLOGIST An End to UTI Suffering By Miriam Schweid 65 DIY Infant Soother By Miriam Schweid

WELLBEING 68 FEATURE Hands Full, Heart Fuller Compiled By Shiffy Friedman Chana Jenny Weisberg Tziri Hershkovitz 86 EMOTIONAL EATING By Shira Savit

TAMAR FELDMAN

ON THE BIRTH

OF A BABY GIRL

BETH WARREN

ON THE BIRTH

OF A BABY GIRL

Springboard

Letters

On Fibroids, Essential Oils for Winter, Food Allergies and More

On Becoming the Queen

invites readers to submit letters and comments via regular mail or email to info@ wellspringmagazine. com. We reserve the right to edit all submissions and will withhold your name upon request. We will honor requests for anonymity, but we cannot consider letters that arrive without contact information.

Issue #45: Climbing to the Top

Issue #45: Memos From a Kinesiologist

I read the piece on the woman who was determined to make her husband the king in her home with much intrigue, finding that I very much related to her struggle, as well as to her desire to improve the situation.

Thank you for your wonderful publication. I look forward to it each and every month.

Just one day later, one of my clients, who’d had a substantial outstanding balance, paid me a nice amount in cash. Previously, I wouldn’t have shared this with my husband. I’d keep the money for myself so I could use it as needed. Inspired by the article, I decided to let my husband know about the payment. It felt good not to keep a secret from him and to do what’s right according to the Torah.

Hashem rewarded me immediately for my good intentions. To my surprise, my husband’s reaction was, “I’m so happy for you. Use it for what you need.” Thanks so much,

S.W.

12 Wellspring | November 2019

Stocking Up for Winter

In her last article, Miriam Schweid mentioned that it would be a good idea to stock up on some essential oils and remedies before the winter sets in. I’d like to know which basic ones she’s referring to and when to use them.

Thank you. R.H.

Miriam Schweid responds: Dear Reader, Lavender, peppermint, and eucalyptus help relieve coughing. Thieves oil strengthens the immune system. Do not wait until your children catch colds before using the oils in diffusers or vaporiz-

All my children, both the girls and boys, had high bilirubin counts at birth. I am currently expecting another baby. Is there anything I can do during the pregnancy to help prevent jaundice?

A ers. Massage Thieves oil into the soles of their feet and behind their ears.

As an aside, I’ve found that purchasing blends suggested for coughs is more economical than combining them yourself. The essential oil blend Respiratory Calmer, for example, is beneficial in treating whooping cough and croup. It’s wise to have these on hand in case of emergency. Have a healthy and safe winter!

My Version of Healthy

Issue #45: Cup of Tea With Dr. Eli Halpert

As someone who’s been suffering from fibroids for quite some time, I decided on Yom Tov that this would be the first thing I’ll be taking care of as soon as we get back to routine. When I called my local medical referral agency, I was told that Wellspring recently ran a very informative interview with a vascular physician by the name of Dr. Eli Halpert on the topic.

Having never heard of the magazine nor the doctor, I made my inquiries among family and friends, only to hear that I’d been totally left out of the loop.

The one word I would use to describe this incredible publication is “healthy.” I am impressed by the balance of research-based information, as well as the healthy dose of content on emotional wellness, all from a refreshingly pure perspective. Now, I not only have an appointment with Dr. Halpert, but I’ve also become acquainted with a magazine that will certainly become a monthly read for me. Thanks for being such wonderful shlichim! With much admiration and gratitude, P. Langner

Yes, there is. Jaundice, as you probably know, is usually a result of a liver issue. Thus, starting at about 30 weeks, take a daily dose of milk thistle and Jaundice Relief (a liver booster) to keep your and the baby’s liver in good shape. Maintain a healthy diet and drink lots of water. May it be b’sha’ah tovah! Take care, Miriam Schweid, health kinesiologist

Validation Is Everything

Word of Thanks

Issue #44: Cover Feature

Issue #45: Special Theme Section

I wanted to take a few moments to thank the staff at Wellspring for educating the frum community about some of the most important topics. Your Succos issue was absolutely breathtaking. Now that we have Wellspring, skimming through a magazine not only offers relaxation — we are also treated to nourishment for the mind, and solid, vital information regarding health in all areas.

I found the six personal essays in the special theme section to be especially poignant. The contributors shared more than just their health-related stories; they shared their strength and emunah, which I pondered throughout Yom Tov. I also drew much chizuk from Mrs. Shaindy Kleinman’s beautiful piece on self-encouragement. No matter our age or stage in life, it’s always nice to get a reminder that Hashem is looking out for our every good deed and that there is Someone, somewhere, rooting for us. Looking forward to your next issue, S. Alter

Lakewood, New Jersey

As a mother of a child with food allergies, I found your cover feature on food allergies to be not only comprehensive, but most importantly very validating. Especially when people give me looks or comments about why I’m being so “paranoid” about my child and his environment, it felt good to have my voice heard through the voices of fellow mothers who know what I’m going through.

A while back, before my child with allergies was born, I remember hearing a neighbor tell her child, “You’re allergic to that,” with “that” being sugar, and thinking it was cute. In hopes of keeping her child away from sugar, the mother chose to use the loaded word “allergic.” Once my own child with true allergies was born, I didn’t find that cute anymore. As Ruchy Reese points out in her well-written article, when the word is tossed around inappropriately, it puts children who have real allergies at great risk of not being taken seriously. I implore mothers to be cautious regarding the use of this word.

Thanks for a wonderful monthly (which I wish was weekly) read,

Henny K.

Cheshvan 5780 | Wellspring 13

These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA. These products are not intended to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure any disease.

Quick Question

Well Informed

Torah Wellspring: Spiritual Health By Rabbi Ezra Friedman

It’s a BrandNew Year The time has come to live in the present

The start of the winter, the month of Cheshvan, brings with it a sense of renewal, a fresh start, even with its falling leaves and longer nights. That’s because we enter the season on the heels of the Yamim Nora’im, amazingly powerful days during which Hashem gave us the opportunity to begin again. On Rosh Hashanah, we didn’t just refresh our relationship with Hashem, we actually began it anew, internalizing that He wants us to be His children, to shower us with His love. On Yom Kippur, Hashem told us that no matter what happened in the past, He forgives us and is ready to start over.

As the Chazal note, someone who does teshuvah becomes like a new person who never sinned in his life. Our slate is not like clean, with some light chalky residue of our past dusting the background; it is clean.

Then, on Succos, Hashem welcomed us — the new, clean us — into His home, into His warm, safe embrace. And so we stepped into this new year with a brand-new relationship, a brand-

14 Wellspring | November 2019

It’s a feeling that you and I really could experience — as long as we truly believe that turning over a new page can really happen and that is does happen.

new perspective on ourselves, and a brand-new connection with our Father. It’s like the fresh feeling we experience when we rise early in the morning after a good night’s sleep, when the world is still emerging from its darkness. It’s the sensation we get when we watch the night sky give way to the sun, birds chirping merrily outside the window, a crisp morning breeze gently wafting through the air.

The simple act of taking note of our new beginning can leave us feeling invigorated, eager to do things right, ready to fill our day with good deeds and happy moments. This is exactly the feeling we’re meant to experience after the Yamim Tovim. And it’s a feeling that you and I really could experience — as long as we truly believe that turning over a new page can really happen and that is does happen. A Real Fresh Start

Feeling a sense of newness, of starting fresh, is instrumental in motivating us to succeed not only in our spiritual endeavors, but also in every aspect of our lives. That inspiration is a vital component in an

We don’t need to play mind tricks or do mental gymnastics to convince ourselves that only the here and now matters.

individual’s growth. If I’m unable to start from scratch, which happens by letting go of what was, who I was, what I did, if I’m unable to fully internalize that there’s nothing beyond this very moment, I can’t fully experience the here and now, which is essentially the only thing that actually exists. What drives a person to be stuck in his past? Very often, a certain sense of fear keeps pulling us back to what was. It’s the same fear that doesn’t allow us to let go. In future articles, we will explore this fear and how we can help rid ourselves of it. First, however, it’s important to realize that being ensured in our past stems from a fear; it is not the reality. The reality is that not only can we get rid of our past, but that the past does not exist. It’s only a fear-driven illusion that drives us to keep holding on. Of course, as much as we can use the past as a lesson for the present and future, we should — as long as it’s helpful for the present. Learning from our mistakes as part of our commitment to change is a necessary component in any kind of growth, but being stuck in the past is the opposite. It’s important to note, too, that we can’t let bygones be bygones where teshuvah or seeking

mechilah from others is in order. But, ultimately, we must free ourselves from the perspective that there’s no such thing as starting anew. The sefarim tell us that it’s not enough for a person to do teshuvah; he must also believe that his slate was wiped clean and that he’s starting anew. This is an essential element in hilchos teshuvah because as long as an individual is enmeshed in his past, he simply can’t move forward. And so, as arduous a task as it is to get unstuck from our past, it is one of the most worthwhile endeavors to invest in. Mind Games

So here we are, entering the winter, wanting to feel this sense of newness. How can I? How can I convince myself that what was was, that there is nothing beyond this very moment? If we’ve been living this way, mired in the past, ever since we first had self-awareness, it feels like a mind game because we hold this “past is forever” fallacy to be true. In reality, however, the truth is exactly the opposite. We don’t need to play mind tricks or do mental gymnastics to convince ourselves that only the here and now matters. On the contrary, we’re actually already engaging in all kinds of intel-

lectual deception and self-justification to keep pulling ourselves back to the past, to keep ourselves tethered to what happened, to what has been. In other words, the reality is exactly the opposite of what we may have believed until now: I don’t need to use my mind to bring me to the present; the present is here and how, as I am reading, and this is in fact the only thing that exists. My mind, driven by a fear of letting go keeps pulling me back to the past. And so, I need to stop letting my mind take me back to the past. While “living in the moment” may sound like a New Age idea or trendy millennial-speak, mindfulness is actually a vital approach in regards to observing the Torah, especially in our relationship with Hashem, as we will discuss in future articles. Every morning, in the brachos before Krias Shema, we proclaim, “Hamechadeish betuvo bechol yom tamid ma’asei bereishis, In His goodness, Hashem renews the works of His creation every morning.” Commenting on this verse, the Maharal explains that we are not alive this moment because we were alive the moment before. There is no ex post facto here. We are alive right now because Hashem creates

Cheshvan 5780 | Wellspring 15

Well Informed

Torah Wellspring: Spiritual Health

As long as an individual is enmeshed in his past, he simply can’t move forward.

the world again and again every single moment. He’s breathing fresh life into me and you now and in a minute from now and then a minute later. In other words, except for this moment, there is nothing else. This is the reality. Our thoughts are what keep pulling us back to the past that does not exist, only in our mind. A New Mindset

In his ideal emotional and spiritual state, by moving past the fear that drives his mind to keep pulling him back, a Yid is able to live in the here and now. He is fully present, not bogged down by what was or anxious about what will be, only maximizing the pleasure and potential in the very moment. “What does Hashem want from me right now?” he asks in real time. He’s like a young child thoroughly experiencing the present, engrossed in the now, because, to him, there is nothing else aside from this moment. A child is focused only on the cake in front of him, the bubble he’s blowing, the cars he’s watching. He isn’t sucked down by a whirlpool of thoughts swirling in his head. That is the happiness we see on a child’s face because letting go and starting

anew every moment generates a true sense of joy.

In Hoshea, Hashem says (11:1), “Ki na’ar Yisrael v’ahaveihu,” which the Midrash explains to mean, “The Yidden make themselves like a child and I love them.” How are we like a child? The commentators explain that, because his mind isn’t hard at work yet, a child is constantly in a state of living in the present. This gives them joy, as well as energy to keep doing and be connected to life and reality. In order to feel love for and from Hashem, commentators expound, a Yid must be like this child, to live in the present and let go of the past. This is what gives us the opportunity for growth, to experience closeness to Hashem. As long as we’re floundering in the past, and we don’t truly believe in or really understand the power of teshuvah and the concept of moving on, we can’t experience the pleasure and joy that life has in store for us. Living in the present, which is essential to our success in every area of life, is what enables us to experience real menuchas hanefesh and joy. This is a foundation not only of emotional health, but is also a cornerstone of true connection to Hashem and a launch pad for personal growth.

Rabbi Friedman can be reached at RabbiEFriedman@wellspringmagazine.com. 16 Wellspring | November 2019

The concept of continuous renewal is actually the very reason that, as our sefarim explain, our calendar follows the lunar, as opposed to the solar, cycle. As Yidden, we are encouraged to cull a powerful lesson from the moon — the koach of rebirth, regeneration, and restoration. Every month, the moon starts anew, growing from a sliver of a crescent to a waxing, full and luminous orb. Each one of us is encouraged to do the same. When a Yid looks at the moon in its full glory, he says, “Wow! Despite what happened over the month, the moon grew into its full potential again. True, it was just a sliver only a few days ago, but it started all over again.” This is the koach we could draw from the moon. A Yid who can apply this to his own life, to his own journey of closeness to Hashem, to consistently renew by letting go of the past, can serve Him in the right way and experience the pleasure that is inherent to the present. When we live in the now, with the recognition that our relationship can be renewed at every moment, we get to really live and enjoy the full potential of every moment in life. May Hashem help us be zocheh to let go of our past and really believe that we’re able to start anew at every moment.

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Well Informed

Spiritual Eating By Rabbi Eli Glaser, CNWC, CWMS

Angel Food

Why Did They Eat?

When the three malachim approached Avraham in the guise of travelers passing by in the heat of the day, Avraham exhibited incredible chesed as he hurried to prepare a meal and a place to rest for his guests — all during the most painful period of recovery from his bris milah.

“He took cream and milk and the calf which he had prepared, and placed these before them; he stood over them beneath the tree and they ate” (Bereishis 18:8).

There are various ways to understand the phrase “and they ate.” Looking at it from the perspective that they actually consumed the food, the obviously question is, why would they do so? Angels, unlike human beings, have no physical body and therefore no need for nutrition. What benefit was gained from them “digesting” the meal? Angels get their nourishment directly from Hashem. They don’t need the intermediary of food in order to be healthy. We also get all of our sustenance from Hashem. But He created the world in a way that we, as physical beings, need to receive

our fuel in the form of food — a wonderful, enjoyable, and stimulating delivery system of health and vitality. But there is an additional function to eating that we can, in fact, share with the angels. When a higher form of existence consumes a lower form, that act elevates the lower form to a greater spiritual level than it could have ever achieved on its own. Even though foods — plants and animals — have inherent kedushah because they were created by Hashem, they are raised to higher plane when consumed by a greater creation. To further explain, the mizbeiach would elevate a korban; it’s not the sacrifice that’s elevating the altar. Food doesn’t elevate Shabbos; Shabbos elevates food.

That’s what the angels did by “eating” Avraham’s meal. And that is what we do every time we eat: we take the limited spiritual potential of food and attach it to our more sophisticated and valuable mode of life. We take the worlds of the tzamei’ach (plant life) and chai (animal life) and raise them to the level of medaber (human life). Or do we? If we let our animalistic desires for self-indulgence dictate our behavior with food, are we in fact elevating the gift Hashem has given us? This gift was meant to provide for our physical wellbeing and for an opportunity for spiritual refinement. Or are we exploiting the occasion — lowering ourselves and the food in the process? Heart disease instead of health. Stroke instead of satiation. Diabetes instead of digestion. Angels don’t have a choice. We do. This article is based on the writings of the Shem MiShmuel by the Sochatchover Rebbe, translated by Rabbi Zvi Belovski.

Rabbi Eli Glaser is the founder and Director of Soveya. He is certified as a Nutrition/Wellness Consultant and Weight Management Specialist, with 25 years of coaching and counseling experience, and is maintaining a 130-pound weight loss for more than 16 years.

Soveya has offices in Lakewood and Brooklyn, and works with clients via phone and Skype around the world. For more information or to make an appointment, contact Soveya at 732-578-8800, info@soveya.com, or www.soveya.com.

18 Wellspring | November 2019

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Well Informed

Dental Health By Dr. Jacques Doueck, DDS

TREATING TEETH GRINDING IN KIDS Adults aren’t the only ones grinding their teeth at night. Teeth grinding, medically known as bruxism, occurs in children, too. Most of the time, it doesn’t cause any pain or damage to teeth. In serious cases, nighttime grinding can wear down tooth enamel (the hard covering on the teeth) and cause jaw problems and pain, but these problems usually happen to adults.

Bruxism occurs in up to 30 percent of children, often around the ages of 5 and 6; however, it can occur at any age. It can also happen when a child begins to get his or her permanent teeth. While the sound of it can irritate their parents and siblings, children typically outgrow it. For some children, however, it can be an ongoing problem.

WHY AND WHEN DO KIDS GRIND THEIR TEETH?

Almost all children who grind their teeth do it only at night. Grinding the teeth during the daytime too should make parents more concerned.

Some researchers think children “brux” because their top and bottom teeth don’t fit together comfortably. Others believe that children grind their teeth because of tension, anger, allergy problems, or as a response to pain from an earache or teething. Caffeinated drinks like cola may increase the likelihood of bruxism. Sometimes a child will grind their teeth not because of a tooth problem, but rather from a difficulty in breathing through their nose. If they can’t breathe well, they will slide their jaw side to side in an attempt to open the airway, and their teeth can get in the way of that. You may want to have your dentist check for the following: your child’s tonsils touching in the back of their throat, mouth breathing, high

20 Wellspring | November 2019

palatal vault, or cross-bite. Discuss with him any allergies, snoring, or recurrent ear infections your child may have. Your dentist may refer you to an ENT or to a doctor who specializes in treating the effects of a compromised airway. Often, having tonsils and adenoids removed will correct this condition. Since stress often plays a part in bruxism, it’s a good idea to help a child talk about their feelings, looking out for any triggers that may be causing tension, fear, or anger. You can do this during the course of the bedtime routine. For example, when your child is telling you about his day, ask some questions about how those events made him feel. You can’t know for sure that it will help with your child’s tooth grinding, but at least he gets the benefit in knowing that you care about how he feels. It is probably best not to draw attention to the tooth grinding itself. Most children will stop tooth grinding on their own without the need for special treatments.

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WILL MY CHILD’S TEETH BE HARMED?

Usually grinding results in wear to teeth but does not cause actual harm. The baby teeth (also called primary teeth) can show a lot of wear to their surfaces without causing pain or other problems. If the teeth get very worn down, dental problems, such as tooth infections, can occur. See your dentist if your child has pain, and be sure to keep appointments for routine checkups. Usually, nothing needs to be done about childhood bruxism. But if it’s causing your child pain or other problems, the dentist might give you a device worn to be worn at night, called a night guard. It’s a piece of plastic, like a mouth guard that a football player wears, and is fitted especially for your child’s teeth and mouth to prevent grinding. Over-the-counter mouth guards are available and they’re less expensive than custom guards, but they generally don’t fit well and can dislodge.

GOODBYE TO THE GRINDING

*Cut out caffeinated drinks. *Rule out breathing problems due to allergies, enlarged tonsils, pain from earache or teething, and restricted breathing. *Talk to your child about his or her day — let him know you care how he feels. *Relax your child with a bath, massage, soothing music or a story at bedtime. *Catch dental problems early by ensuring you do checkups every six months. *Obtain a dental guard if needed.

Dr. Jacques Doueck has been practicing family dentistry in Brooklyn, New York since 1977, and is a Diplomate of the Academy of Clinical Sleep Disorders Disciplines. He speaks nationally and trains other dentists in oral appliance therapy and state-of-the-art dentistry. Dr. Doueck is a member of the American Dental Association and serves on the District Claims Committee for the state society.

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Well Informed

Updates in the News By Esther Retek

MENTAL HEALTH NEWS

KEEP CALM FOR BABY

24 Wellspring | November 2019

How Maternal Mental Stress Affects a Child Eat well, sleep well, and exercise well is just some of the advice every mother-to-be hears throughout her pregnancy. Much emphasis is placed on the importance of maintaining physical health during a pregnancy, such as eating properly, maintaining an exercise regimen, and getting enough hours of sleep. Now, however, research is showing that equal — if not more — emphasis should be placed on the mother’s mental health. Several new studies are suggesting that a mother’s mental state of being affects the child during birth and even later on. One such study, which was published in Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences (PNAS), found that maternal stress during pregnancy can affect fetal and child development, as well as the birth. “The womb is an influential first home, as important as the one a child is raised in, if not more so,” says study leader Catherine Monk, PhD, professor at Columbia University Vagelos College of Physicians and Surgeons.

Because stress can be manifest in a variety of ways, Monk and the other researchers examined 27 indicators of psychosocial, physical, and lifestyle stress collected from questionnaires, diaries, and daily assessments of 187 otherwise healthy pregnant women, ages 18 to 45. About 17% (32) of the women were psychologically stressed, and another 16% (30) were physically stressed, with relatively higher daily blood pressure and greater caloric intake compared with other healthy pregnant women. The majority (nearly 67%, or 125) were healthy. The results showed that:

• Stressed mothers, especially those with

higher blood pressure, were more likely to give birth prematurely than unstressed mothers. • Among physically stressed mothers, fetuses had reduced heart rate-movement coupling — an indicator of slower central nervous system development — as compared to unstressed mothers. • Most shocking of all, psychologically stressed mothers had many more birth complications than physically stressed mothers. The researchers also found that what most differentiated the three groups was the amount of social support a mother received from friends and family. The more social support a mother received, the greater the likelihood of her having a healthy baby. An estimated 30% of pregnant women report stress from job strain, according to the researchers. Such stress has been associated with increased risk of premature birth, which is linked to higher rates of infant mortality and of physical and mental disorders, such as ADHD. How a mother’s mental state might specifically affect a fetus was not examined in the study. “We know from animal studies that exposure to high levels of stress can raise levels of stress hormones like cortisol in the uterus, which in turn can affect the fetus,” says Monk. “Stress can also affect the mother’s immune system, leading to changes that affect neurological and behavioral development in the fetus. What’s clear from our study is that maternal mental health matters, not only for the mother but also for her future child.”

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Well Informed

Updates in the News

SENIOR NEWS

TURN OFF THAT PHONE; I WANT TO STAY YOUNG

Could Exposure to Blue Light Hasten Aging? With the abundant technology use nowadays, many individuals are being exposed to too much blue light - the light that emanates from a phone, computer and household fixtures. Although research has already proven that using these devices properly can slow down aging (News Updates, Issue 44), a new study published in Aging and Mechanisms of Disease suggests that prolonged exposure to blue wavelengths produced by blue light can affect longevity even if it doesn’t shine directly into the eyes.

The study, which was conducted by the Oregon State University, involved an interesting model, the common fruit fly, because of the cellular mechanisms it shares with humans. Jaga Giebultowicz, the study author, examined how these fruit flies responded to daily 12-hour exposures to blue LED light — similar to the prevalent blue light in devices like phones and tablets. Astonishingly, she found that lengthy exposure to the blue light accelerated their aging. Flies subjected to daily cycles of 12 hours in light and 12 hours in darkness had much shorter lives compared to flies kept in total darkness or those kept in filtered light. The flies exposed to blue light showed

26 Wellspring | November 2019

damage to their retinal cells and brain neurons. Additionally, these flies’ ability to climb the walls of their enclosures, a common behavior, was significantly diminished. “The fact that the light was accelerating aging in the flies was very surprising to us at first,” says Giebultowicz. “We started asking what it is in the light that is harmful to them, and we looked at the spectrum of light. It’s very clear cut that although light without blue slightly shortened their lifespan, just blue light alone shortened their lifespan very dramatically.” Natural light, the study notes, is crucial for the body, helping it process the 24-hour cycle of brain wave activity and hormone production. It’s also very important for feeding and sleeping processes. In the meantime, experts suggest several tips to reduce exposure to such light. Eyeglasses with amber lenses may filter out the blue light and protect the retina. Phones, laptops, and other devices can be set to block blue emissions. In the future, researchers hope to invent a device that will automatically control the amount of blue light. And best of all — you now have another reason to stop checking your emails every few minutes.

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Well Informed

Updates in the News

GENERAL NEWS

LOWER TEMPERATURE, HIGHER ENERGY

Five tips to overcome fatigue in the winter With the winter season at its onset, you may already be feeling more sluggish and lethargic, which may be due to the lack of sunlight your body is receiving at this time of year. If you find it harder to roll out of bed these days, here are five tips for helping you feel more energized and invigorated: 1. Let in some sunlight.

As the days become shorter, your sleep and waking cycles may become disrupted. The lack of sunlight means your brain produces more melatonin, the hormone that leaves you feeling sleepy. Open your blinds or shades to let more sunlight into your home and make sure your home environment is as light and airy as possible. Spend as much time as possible outdoors in natural daylight, even taking just a brief lunchtime walk if that’s all you have time for. 2. Get a good night’s sleep.

Getting enough undisturbed sleep at the right time is vital for fighting off winter tiredness. It’s tempting to go into hibernation mode when winter hits, but that sleepy feeling you get doesn’t mean you should snooze for longer. In fact, if you sleep too much, chances are you’ll feel even more sluggish during the day. We don’t actually require any more sleep in the winter than we do in the summer — aim for about eight hours of shuteye a night, and try to go to bed and get up at the same time every day. Additionally, make sure your bedroom helps you feel relaxed and sleepy; clear the clutter and have comfortable, warm bedding. 3. Get regular exercise.

Exercise may be the last thing you want to do when you’re feeling tired on dark winter

28 Wellspring | November 2019

evenings. But you might be surprised by how energetic you feel after getting involved in some kind of physical activity every day. Exercise in the late afternoon may help reduce early-evening fatigue and also improve sleep. Aim for the recommended goal of 150 minutes of exercise a week. One wise way to do so is establishing a regular gym or exercise class schedule, or setting a time to walk or run the treadmill. If you find it hard to get motivated to exercise in the colder, darker months, focus on the benefits — not only will you feel more energetic, it will also help stave off winter weight gain. 4. Learn to relax.

Are you feeling pressured to get everything done during the shorter daylight hours? This may be contributing to your tiredness — stress has been shown to increase fatigue. While there’s no quick-fire cure for stress, breathing exercises or mindfulness techniques may help you feel calmer and more relaxed. 5. Eat the right foods.

Being overweight or underweight can affect energy levels and leave an individual feeling sleepy. Once the summer ends, you may be tempted to ditch the salads and fill up on starchy foods such as pasta, potatoes, and bread. However, it’s no news that the body draws its energy from the fruits, vegetables, lean proteins, and healthy carbs in our comfort meals. Winter vegetables — such as carrots, parsnips, and turnips — can be roasted, mashed, or pureed into soup to provide a warming winter meal for the whole family. Classic stews and broths are great options if they’re made with lean meat and plenty of vegetables.

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Well Informed

Figures By Malka Sharman

ORGANIC IN NUMBERS Organic food sales amount to over

$97

billion a year

62% 15%

Dairy products make up

of organic sales

of Americans claim that organic food is too expensive

Organic products are available in over

20,000 34 43% 3V4 100 millionacres

natural food stores, and in an average of

are the largest group of organic buyers

Fruits and vegetables make up approximately

of organic food sales

Over

conventional grocery stores

years

Parents younger than

of land has been dedicated to organic food production

30 Wellspring | November 2019

Over

2 billion

dollars

is spent yearly for organic non-food household products

50%

of parents trust organic over nonorganic products

81% Only

2.7% of US dairy cows are certified as organic sources

70%

of American shoppers regularly purchase at least

Only

1.5%

of hens in the US are certified as organic sources

of ingredients must be organic for a product to be labeled “organic”

organic food item

Only

1.6%

of organic food sales occur directly at the source — at the farm or farmer’s market (Sources: USDA, OTA)

More than

Cheshvan 5780 | Wellspring 31

Well Informed

Health Ed By Laura Shammah, MS, RDN

A-Z on Acid Reflux Everything You Need to Know About Heartburn You know the feeling all too well. It’s late at night, long after you’ve had your last morsel of food, but you’re still feeling the aftereffects of your meal. That fiery sensation that grabs hold of your lower chest after you eat something can leave you feeling uncomfortable at best, in agony at worst. While many experience this occasionally, others are all too familiar with it, enduring it on a steady basis. What’s that intense feeling in your abdomen and that peculiar, bitter taste you have in your mouth? Test yourself below to see what you already know about acid reflux.

True or False: Acid reflux is GERD. Answer: False.

Acid reflux and gastroesophageal reflux disease (GERD) are closely related, but they are not one and the same. Distinguishing between GER and GERD can help an individual get proper treatment. Acid reflux, also known as gastroesophageal reflux (GER), is the backward flow of stomach acid into the tube that connects the throat to the stomach (esophagus). During an episode of acid reflux, an individual may feel a burning sensation in their chest (heartburn).

Sometimes, acid reflux progresses to GERD, a more severe form of reflux. The most common symptom of GERD is frequent heartburn — two or more times a week. Other signs and symptoms can include regurgitation of food or sour liquid, difficulty swallowing, coughing, wheezing, and chest pain — especially while lying down at night. 32 Wellspring | November 2019

Trigger Foods A number of foods and drinks commonly cause heartburn. Avoiding them may help alleviate symptoms.

Raw onions and garlic Tomato sauce and other tomato-based products

True or False: If you have occasional acid reflux, changes to your diet may help prevent and relieve it. Answer: True.

Changes to your diet and lifestyle may certainly help eliminate or relieve occasional acid reflux. Some common ones include losing excess weight (extra fat puts pressure on the stomach, forcing acids up into the esophagus), eating smaller meals, or avoiding food two to three hours before bedtime. Since acid reflux is a digestive issue, avoiding trigger foods will lessen or completely eliminate heartburn. While there are some common triggers, such as fried or fatty foods (see sidebar), others are more individual. In order to get acquainted with your individual triggers, pay attention to which foods cause your symptoms, so you can avoid them. A good idea is to keep track of and write down what youâ€™ve eaten and when your heartburn symptoms occurred, and this way youâ€™ll be able to pinpoint the trigger foods more easily.

Black pepper and other spicy foods High-fat (fried, greasy) foods This includes both unhealthy and healthy fat foods. First, fatty food may relax the LES, the muscle that acts as a barrier between the esophagus and the stomach. When this muscle relaxes, acid can escape from the stomach into the esophagus and cause heartburn. Second, high-fat foods stimulate the release of the hormone cholecystokinin (CCK). This hormone may also relax the lower esophageal sphincter, causing acid reflux. Furthermore, high-fat foods sit around in the stomach longer, causing it to produce more acid, which irritates the digestive system. Citrus fruits and products, such as lemons, oranges, and orange juice Researchers believe this is because citrus juice irritates the lining of the esophagus. Carbonated beverages (soda) These drinks temporarily increase the frequency of belching, which may promote acid reflux. Coffee and caffeinated drinks Chocolate While there is limited evidence that chocolate worsens reflux symptoms, youâ€™re best off testing it for yourself and tracking the outcome. Peppermint Alcohol, particularly red wine

Cheshvan 5780 | Wellspring 33

Well Informed

Health Ed

Which foods can alleviate symptoms of acid reflux? A. Milk and yogurt B. Gum C. Ginger D. All of the above

Answer: D.

If you’re experiencing symptoms, go for a plain yogurt and add some honey for sweetness if desired. If you’d like to drink milk, use the low-fat or fat-free varieties, because fat content can worsen symptoms. Almond milk may also be effective, as it is alkaline and may neutralize acidity.

Chewing gum is considered helpful in alleviating acid reflux because it increases the formation of saliva and helps clear the esophagus of stomach acid. Ginger naturally soothes the stomach and can help reduce the production of stomach acid. Caffeine-free ginger tea, with a little honey added as a sweetener, is best for someone who suffers from reflux. Ginger ale is unlikely to help because it is carbonated and may contain caffeine. Most commercial ginger ale sodas also do not contain adequate ginger to be effective.

Time for a Doctor’s Visit

When is it time to see a doctor for your heartburn? Acid reflux, though uncomfortable, is very treatable.

If an individual has severe or frequent symptoms of acid reflux, they should visit their doctor to rule out other conditions. However, people with occasional or mild reflux can usually keep the condition in check with simple lifestyle changes, avoidance of triggers, home remedies, and OTC medications. The doctor may want to examine the food pipe to check for any more serious damage to the tissue. Severe symptoms of GERD may require the use of medication, or in rare cases, surgery.

It is especially important to seek medical attention if someone thinks they are experiencing acid reflux or any other symptoms of GER, but has other symptoms, such as chest pain, shortness of breath, jaw pain, or right arm pain. These signs may indicate a more serious health problem, such as the onset of a heart attack.

34 Wellspring | November 2019

Which of these activities may cause acid reflux? A. Vigorous exercise after eating B. Sleeping on the stomach C. Drinking too much water D. Eating large meals Answer: A & D. Certain activities or habits may be the culprits for causing reflux symptoms. While vigorous exercise within a couple of hours after eating may cause acid reflux, there’s no need to ditch an after-dinner stroll. Simple and moderate exercise is fine, but a more strenuous workout, especially if it involves bending over, can send acid pouring into the esophagus.

Eating large meals may also contribute to the discomfort since it leads to distention (stomach stretching), which puts pressure on the lower esophageal sphincter (LES), the ring of muscle that keeps stomach acids from moving in the wrong direction. That’s another reason to be cautious regarding overeating.

Anything Else to Try? If you’ve eliminated your trigger foods and are still feeling the uncomfortable symptoms of acid reflux, you may want to give these ideas a try: ◎

Lower your carb intake.

Acid reflux might be caused by poor carb digestion and bacterial overgrowth in the small intestine. Low-carb diets appear to be an effective treatment, but further studies are needed. ◎ Don’t

eat before bedtime.

Allow two hours for your system to digest your food before lying down. This allows time for the food to pass out of the stomach and into the small intestine, rather than having it back up into the esophagus. Lying down makes digestion difficult and makes heartburn more likely. ◎ Change

your drinking habits.

The way one drinks beverages may play a role in acid reflux. Here are some effective methods for reducing symptoms:

○ Drink throughout the day to stay hydrated, and avoid drinking large quantities in one sitting. ○ Do

◎ Check

not consume carbonated beverages before bedtime.

○ Stay

in an upright position after drinking.

your medications.

Some medications — including postmenopausal estrogen, tricyclic antidepressants, and anti-inflammatory painkillers — can relax the sphincter; and others — particularly bisphosphonates like alendronate (Fosamax), ibandronate (Boniva), or risedronate (Actonel), which are taken to increase bone density — can irritate the esophagus. Speak to your doctor about adjusting or changing your medication accordingly.

If these steps aren’t effective, or if you have severe pain or difficulty swallowing, see your doctor to rule out other causes of your discomfort. You may also need medication to control reflux even as you pursue lifestyle changes.

Living on Meds For many adults, the answer to frequent heartburn is over-the-counter antacids. While occasional use of these medications is not harmful, consistent use of a product that reduces stomach acid can be problematic. Stomach acid is necessary to digest protein and food, activate digestive enzymes in your small intestine, keep the bacteria from growing in the small intestine, and to help absorb important nutrients like calcium, magnesium, and vitamin B12. There’s evidence that taking these medications can prevent the body from properly digesting food, cause vitamin and mineral deficiencies, and lead to problems like IBS, depression, hip fractures, and more. Therefore, instead of using antacids to treat reflux, patients would be far better served in the long run if the root causes for the reflux are identified and handled accordingly.

Laura Shammah MS, RDN, has been operating a private practice in New York and New Jersey for over 20 years. Her clientele runs the gamut from people with eating disorders to those dealing with hypertension, high cholesterol, diabetes and cancer. She also helps clients who run in marathons or are looking to lose or gain weight in a healthy way. Her nutritional guidance is published in MaryAnne Cohen’s book Lasagna for Lunch: Declaring Peace With Emotional Eating. Laura can be reached at 718-376-0062 or Laurashammah@aol.com. Cheshvan 5780 | Wellspring 35

Well Informed

Dedicated to Health By Penina Jacobs

What motivated you to launch Knafayim? Following my many own painful experiences with loss, and having suffered many early and mid trimester losses as well as stillbirth, I recognized the aching need for an organization that would provide support for couples experiencing loss in our community. Each loss I suffered left me mired in pain. My husband and I felt like we were the only ones going through this experience. What shocked me most was that following each additional loss that I had experienced, when I had thought that I had it down pat, had figured out the grieving techniques that would help, knew what to expect, and knew just how to cope, I would suddenly discover a new piece

36 Wellspring | November 2019

in the puzzle that just changed the situation and made me start a new unknown journey from scratch. Once it occurred during a Yom Tov, another time it was right before a family simcha, and once it happened on the same day that one of my siblings gave birth to a healthy baby. Each time, I was once again caught by surprise, and I grappled for chizuk and support.

The pain was ours to wade through alone. I felt like there was no support; the pain wasnâ€™t even recognized as valid. I realized that by launching Knafayim, I would be able to be there for others so they wouldnâ€™t have to go through this alone.

10 Questions for: Malkie Klaristenfeld

Founder and director of Knafayim Director of volunteers at Project Chai Knafayim in a Nutshell: Knafayim was founded so that no couple would shoulder the burden of pregnancy loss (including early miscarriages, terminations, mid trimester loss, stillbirth and the loss of a live baby) alone. The organization guides parents in such situations, providing emotional and other support from the time that they learn their baby has died in utero, or will pass away shortly after birth, through the weeks and months of grief.

What is your current role at Knafayim? As its director, in addition to overseeing and handling many of the technical aspects of the organization, I counsel couples, give referrals, provide emotional support, and assist my team with whatever is needed at any particular moment.

What is one great challenge you face in running this organization? Our greatest hurdle is reaching the families before they actually deliver. One of our services is that we offer immense support to the families before the delivery. We arm them with the knowledge of how to face the situation, prepare the parents, and coach them on how to notify their children. We give them a vision of what to expect and how to live through it. I see this as our greatest challenge, especially since having support is so vital before, during, and after the loss. Cheshvan 5780 | Wellspring 37

Well Informed

Dedicated to Health

Can you share a story that highlights the work you do? In preparation of this article, I set aside time on a Thursday morning to work through my thoughts. As soon as I began working, I received an urgent phone call: a baby with no heartbeat. With Rosh Hashanah coming up the following Sunday, we had to work fast. Thankfully, we were able to schedule the procedure for Friday, so that the mother wouldn’t be carrying her lifeless baby all Shabbos and Yom Tov. We are always on the ground, running at a moment’s notice. Being that responding immediately is usually of dire importance, we try to be available at all hours.

I would also like to share a story with a happy ending, as we have that too, baruch Hashem. I was introduced to Chany after she found my card in the hospital waiting room. She had called me to request the services of the chevra kadisha as she was soon to undergo a procedure to terminate her unborn child.

When I started taking down Chany’s information, I soon realized that I knew her family well. I asked if they had already consulted with the Rav of their shul, to which she replied that they hadn’t.

Her obstetrician had consulted with her own rabbinical adviser, and he advised that termination was paramount. A day prior, at the 20-week sonogram, her doctor had discovered that the child had anencephaly, which meant that the fetus was developing without a brain. The child would not be compatible with life and such pregnancies are generally terminated as they are not viable with life. I urged Chany to discuss this matter with the Rav of their shul. At first, she was reluctant to do so, but I couldn’t see another life lost. I pleaded and cajoled and succeeded in getting her to call their Rav, who advised her to seek another medical opinion on the matter. This time around, the diagnosis was completely different: hydranencephaly. The baby’s brain was bathed in water. While the condition could be fatal, there was a chance of survival. Thus, termination of the pregnancy was ruled out. As the pregnancy progressed, the prognosis for the survival of the baby got better and better.

Months later, shortly before Shavuos, Chany called to tell me that she had given birth to her baby girl. Soon after birth, her newborn daughter underwent a procedure to place a shunt in her brain to drain the fluid therein. A few days later, they were discharged from the hospital with a healthy baby. At the Knafayim office, our steps were lighter that day. We smiled more, turned the music up, and davened that we witness this outcome more often.

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Can you share a positive story that you’ve recently experienced? Yudit reached out to us after having experienced loss of a pregnancy. Devastatingly, it was her third miscarriage. She had gotten married at 41, and her doctors were losing hope that she would ever have a child. When Yudit found out she was pregnant again earlier this year, her doctors had low hopes for the baby’s survival. They advised her to terminate the pregnancy as there were many factors indicating that the baby was not healthy and would be a severely ill child. While her Rabbanim gave her the heter to do so, Yudit refused to accept that. When she reached out to us, we advised her to seek the counsel of the Tosher Dayan of Boro Park, who is extremely well versed in these matters. After discussing the matter at length and carefully studying the reports, he supported Yudit’s stance and advised her to wait and let matters take their course.

Upon hearing this development, the top doctors on her case entered Yudit’s hospital room, furious. If she didn’t terminate, they warned, she and her baby could be at risk. She remained steadfast, knowing that daas Torah was on her side. At 20 weeks, Yudit developed a hematoma, a collection of blood outside a blood vessel. It was yet another roadblock in her difficult journey to motherhood. But when she finally gave birth to a healthy baby boy, all those tribulations didn’t matter anymore. She and her little fighter had battled through it all and won. We thank Hashem every day for stories like this one. It gives us the motivation to proceed with our work.

What do you wish people would know about pregnancy loss? I wish I could teach people the importance of empathy when supporting a person in grief. Empathy means just being with them — not suggesting how to get rid of the pain, not telling them that they need to move forward. Simply being at their side and recognizing their grief with no judgment. Challenges like hysterectomy (another one of the circumstances we help women deal with) and pregnancy loss bring up true grief, and this is something many people don’t realize. A woman in this situation is in a world of pain. Don’t try to fix it or her.

When a Yid is in pain, Hashem says, “Imo anochi batzarah, I am with him in his pain” (Tehillim 91:15). He doesn’t say, “You have other children,” “You must pull yourself together,” or “Why is it taking you so long to get over it?” When someone is in pain, you can’t pull them out. All you can do is emulate the Ribbono Shel Olam and tell the individual, “I’m with you.”

What was one interesting request you’ve received from a woman you’ve helped? Every Erev Shabbos, I send a text message to a group of subscribers with an inspirational quote related to that week’s parshah. A mother from Venezuela who lost a child to SIDS is part of a closeknit community, and the kehillah had taken her loss particularly hard. She called to tell me that she was surviving by reading my messages, and she wanted to know if she could translate them into Spanish for the members of her community. I consented immediately, realizing then just how far-reaching my support could be.

What’s the best part of your work? The toughest? Essentially, there is no best in this type of work other than you know that you make a difference. Supporting families in pain takes a lot of courage and not too many people are willing to brave this. They cross the street and don’t want to face their close friends as they grieve. It is almost as if their loss didn’t happen. What I find most challenging is that in order to help a couple move forward and integrate back into the “new normal,” we are faced with the toughest aspect, which is actually getting there because that can be very painful. A while back, I dealt with a couple who was processing the pain of child loss. When they cried, I was there for them. I encouraged them to continue crying and to face the pain. That hurts. Ignoring pain, in the short term, may have seemed so much easier as the anguish was very concentrated and intense. Yet, at the end of the day they felt stronger and were able to begin moving forward one tiny step at a time.

This same couple called me just moments ago to tell me that they had given birth to a healthy child. They had faced mortality, perhaps the toughest roadblock a parent can encounter, and at the end of their arduous journey, they were granted the gift of life.

How do you manage the stress that comes along with your taxing work? This is my challenge. I daven daily that Hashem grant me the strength I need to support myself so that I can be a source of support for others. I draw strength from the brachos Hashem has given me: my children and my family. I don’t go on vacation or do anything lavish. Instead, I unwind by playing music and singing with my family. On Chol Hamoed Succos, we brought the keyboard into the succah and danced and sang to the music, making our own little Simchas Beis Hashoeivah. I also enjoy writing. And, finally, I am surrounded by the wonderful Knafayim team of volunteers who have become my close friends. We make an effort to process and support each other at all times. Knowing how to enjoy a good laugh in the right time has also helped me through.

What was the best compliment you’ve ever received? One woman whom we had the privilege of helping along on her journey of loss, spending many hours together with her, came up to visit me on Yom Tov. She gestured at the baby in her stroller and then at herself. “Look at my face,” she said. “See the sunshine? This is because of you.” Malky Klaristenfeld can be contacted via Wellspring.

As soon as I began working, I received an urgent phone calla baby with no heartbeat.

Living Well

In Good Shape By By Esther Fried, PFC

IT ALL ADDS UP

Are Exercise Shortcuts Effective? “This time it will be different,” may be something we find ourselves saying all too often in regards to sticking to an exercise routine. At the start of every new season, especially the long winter stretch, we say to ourselves — or our gym partners — “You’ll see. I’ll show you for once and for all that I can do this.” But what makes us think it will be different? Often, although we think we’re committed to a fitness plan,

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we inadvertently set ourselves up for failure by expecting too much of ourselves. How feasible is it for someone who leads a pressured lifestyle to suddenly find one hour a day four times a week to sweat it out at the gym? But then, if we can’t find manage such a considerable time investment, we’re wonder if less time would do the trick as well. Is there a way to cut corners from an exercise program while still reaping its many benefits? Here’s the good news: there is.

The Truth about Gym Time If you keep neglecting your gym shoes because you think that exercising will only be worthwhile if you give it a full hour of your time, then just pull them out from the back of your closet. According to the Department of Health and Human Services, a healthy adult should get at least 150 minutes of moderate aerobic activity or 75 minutes of vigorous aerobic activity every week, or a combination of moderate and vigorous activity. If an individual is committed to making it happen, unless they’re leading a very sedentary lifestyle — think bed rest — that’s not very difficult to attain. For example, if you split the recommended amount into 3 sessions of activity, that calls for no more than 25-minute bursts of vigorous activity at a time. While an hour of a gym class may help you work up a more extended sweat and lead to more calories burned, you’ll still be reaping the benefits of exercise. Pay attention to the times that you’re doing even small amounts of physical activity. If you lead an otherwise relatively active lifestyle, such as if you’re the mother of young children or you walk to work every day, you need even less official “exercise time” to meet this quota. Being active for short periods of time throughout the day, such as when running up a few flights of stairs or doing a quick jog around the house, can add up to provide health benefits.

Don’t Forget those Muscles The Department of Health and Human Services also recommends doing strength training exercises for all major muscle groups at least twice a week. This, too, can be fit into a busy lifestyle. Use weights or a resistance level that’s heavy enough to tire your muscles after about 12 or 15 repetitions, and repeat the same exercises such as bicep curls, squats, and sit ups, twice a week at your convenience, .

Reduce Sitting Time Whether or not you end up engaging in physical activity on a steady basis, know that reducing sitting time is always a good start. The more hours you sit each day, the higher your risk of metabolic problems is. All too often, individuals give up on maintaining a balanced exercise routine due to the misconception that they don’t have time or patience to do “enough.” With the clarity regarding the diameters of “enough,” and doing whatever we can when we can, we give ourselves the gift of physical activity that not only generates weight loss and a positive mood, but also supports heart and brain health. And remember that even if you can’t meet the guidelines above, any activity is better than none at all.

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