The Unleashed Voice 2022 March - April Mindfulness Issue featuring SirGlen Allen

MARCH - APRIL 2022

Community Activist RODNISHA FORD Speaks about Community Healing “One Action At A Time”

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EXC LUSIVE EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW! INTERVIE W!

SirGlen Allen

D&G’s Klassy Designs owner is blazing his own trails ○ HUSBAND ○STYLIST ○ DESIGNER ○INFLUENCER

SirGlen shares memories and insights about success in love, life, and business after the leap of faith to live his life as the Klassy Brother he was created to be

LET’S GET IT OUT! Mental Health is Health Talk it Out + Walk It Out + Sex It Out

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HOW TO HEAL A HOE

Byron Jamal's releases new book on how to overcome perceived "hoe-ness."

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HAPPY WOMEN’S H I S TO RY MONTH

Letting Go of the Life I thought I Would Have. One woman’s journey about her self-reflection on where her life is today!

THE MINDFULNESS ISSUE be intentional

VISIT TUVMAG.COM

IMPORTANT FACTS FOR BIKTARVY®

This is only a brief summary of important information about BIKTARVY and does not replace talking to your healthcare provider about your condition and your treatment.

(bik-TAR-vee)

MOST IMPORTANT INFORMATION ABOUT BIKTARVY

POSSIBLE SIDE EFFECTS OF BIKTARVY

BIKTARVY may cause serious side effects, including:

BIKTARVY may cause serious side effects, including: � Those in the “Most Important Information About BIKTARVY” section. � Changes in your immune system. Your immune system may get stronger and begin to fight infections that may have been hidden in your body. Tell your healthcare provider if you have any new symptoms after you start taking BIKTARVY. � Kidney problems, including kidney failure. Your healthcare provider should do blood and urine tests to check your kidneys. If you develop new or worse kidney problems, they may tell you to stop taking BIKTARVY. � Too much lactic acid in your blood (lactic acidosis), which is a serious but rare medical emergency that can lead to death. Tell your healthcare provider right away if you get these symptoms: weakness or being more tired than usual, unusual muscle pain, being short of breath or fast breathing, stomach pain with nausea and vomiting, cold or blue hands and feet, feel dizzy or lightheaded, or a fast or abnormal heartbeat. � Severe liver problems, which in rare cases can lead to death. Tell your healthcare provider right away if you get these symptoms: skin or the white part of your eyes turns yellow, dark “tea-colored” urine, light-colored stools, loss of appetite for several days or longer, nausea, or stomach-area pain. � The most common side effects of BIKTARVY in clinical studies were diarrhea (6%), nausea (6%), and headache (5%).

� Worsening of hepatitis B (HBV) infection. Your

healthcare provider will test you for HBV. If you have both HIV-1 and HBV, your HBV may suddenly get worse if you stop taking BIKTARVY. Do not stop taking BIKTARVY without first talking to your healthcare provider, as they will need to check your health regularly for several months, and may give you HBV medicine.

ABOUT BIKTARVY BIKTARVY is a complete, 1-pill, once-a-day prescription medicine used to treat HIV-1 in adults and children who weigh at least 55 pounds. It can either be used in people who have never taken HIV-1 medicines before, or people who are replacing their current HIV-1 medicines and whose healthcare provider determines they meet certain requirements.

BIKTARVY does not cure HIV-1 or AIDS. HIV-1 is the virus that causes AIDS. Do NOT take BIKTARVY if you also take a medicine that contains: � dofetilide � rifampin � any other medicines to treat HIV-1

BEFORE TAKING BIKTARVY Tell your healthcare provider if you: � Have or have had any kidney or liver problems,

including hepatitis infection. � Have any other health problems. � Are pregnant or plan to become pregnant. It is not known if BIKTARVY can harm your unborn baby.

Tell your healthcare provider if you become pregnant while taking BIKTARVY. � Are breastfeeding (nursing) or plan to breastfeed.

Do not breastfeed. HIV-1 can be passed to the baby in breast milk.

Tell your healthcare provider about all the medicines you take: � Keep a list that includes all prescription and over-the-

counter medicines, antacids, laxatives, vitamins, and herbal supplements, and show it to your healthcare provider and pharmacist.

� BIKTARVY and other medicines may affect each other.

Ask your healthcare provider and pharmacist about medicines that interact with BIKTARVY, and ask if it is safe to take BIKTARVY with all your other medicines.

These are not all the possible side effects of BIKTARVY. Tell your healthcare provider right away if you have any new symptoms while taking BIKTARVY. You are encouraged to report negative side effects of prescription drugs to the FDA. Visit www.FDA.gov/medwatch or call 1-800-FDA-1088.

Your healthcare provider will need to do tests to monitor your health before and during treatment with BIKTARVY.

HOW TO TAKE BIKTARVY Take BIKTARVY 1 time each day with or without food.

GET MORE INFORMATION � This is only a brief summary of important information

about BIKTARVY. Talk to your healthcare provider or pharmacist to learn more.

� Go to BIKTARVY.com or call 1-800-GILEAD-5 � If you need help paying for your medicine,

visit BIKTARVY.com for program information.

BIKTARVY, the BIKTARVY Logo, GILEAD, the GILEAD Logo, GSI, and KEEP BEING YOU are trademarks of Gilead Sciences, Inc., or its related companies. Version date: February 2021 © 2022 Gilead Sciences, Inc. All rights reserved. US-BVYC-0008 01/22

2

| THE UNLEASHED VOICE

#1 PRESCRIBED

HIV TREATMENT * *Source: IQVIA NPA Weekly, 04/19/2019 through 05/28/2021.

CHAD LIVING WITH HIV SINCE 2018 REAL BIKTARVY PATIENT

KEEP BEING YOU. Because HIV doesn’t change who you are.

BIKTARVY® is a complete, 1-pill, once-a-day prescription medicine used to treat HIV-1 in certain adults. BIKTARVY does not cure HIV-1 or AIDS.

Ask your healthcare provider if BIKTARVY is right for you.

ONE SMALL PILL, ONCE A DAY Pill shown not actual size (15 mm x 8 mm) | Featured patient compensated by Gilead.

Please see Important Facts about BIKTARVY, including important warnings, on the previous page and visit BIKTARVY.com.

Scan to see Chad’s story.

THE UNLEASHED VOICE |

3

CON TEN TS

Ad Deadline April 12, 2022

Next Issue to May | June 2022

ALL PHOTOS OF SIRGLEN ALLEN BY Greg Lopez Photography

08‐10 Cover Story SirGlen Allen One Klassy Brother 06 | Editor’s Letter Gwendolyn D. Clemons

13 | Health & Wellness Dr. Umieca Hankton The Audacity of No

14 | Literary Corner Byron Jamal How To Heal A Hoe

15 | Literary Corner Parker Bryant Daisa’s Diary

12

Health & Wellness Jonita “Nita” McKinney Let’s Get It out

16 | Special Contributor Brodderick D. Roary It’s Worth The Wait: Why Intentional Relationships Are Better

19 | Spirituality Beth Trouy Doing Nothing is Something Worth Doing

20 | Entertainment

11 22

Relationship Feature 4

Adams-Hill Wedding Feature

| CONTENTS

Special Contributor Monika M. Pickett Women’s Month

Philly Muff One To Watch

21 | Community News Rodnisha Ford Community Healing “One Action At A Time”

Shawn M. Clemons Administration/ Fashion Director

Gregory Graphics Layout/Design

Monika M. Pickett Guest Contributor

Monick Monell Talent Director & New York Correspondent

Whitney Johnson Chief Editor

Kyra Bonet St James-Cassadine Transgender Correspondent

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CONTENTS |

5

Being Intentional Webster dictionary defines the word intentional as “something done on

purpose.” In my professional opinion

taking deliberate steps are one of the

most important actionable tools needed

to achieve any goal we set for ourselves.

ABOUT THIS ISSUE:

We say we want the best things in life,

The Mindful Issue is about offering

we want a successful career, a loving

committed relationship, to be healthy and wealthy. However, there will come a time, when you will have to put your money

where your mouth is and PROVE IT. The

truth of the matter is, it gets progressively hard to maintain a high degree of

discipline because the best students in life always get the hardest lessons.

I have learned that the way I see my

life, shapes my life. My perspectives

about myself will influence how others treat me, how I invest my time, spend

my money, use my gifts, and value my relationships. These views are my life

collective views from various writers to our readers. These articles are

intended to encourage you to play full out with your lives. Remember this…

Your Mindset creates your reality!

ON THE COVER: SirGlen Allen is an author, entrepreneur, motivational speaker, designer, image

consultant, sought after stylist and an all-around “Klassy Brother.” SirGlen is

a native of Arkansas but now resides in Nashville, TN.

Gwendolyn D. Clemons MBA, MSM, PRC

Editor in Chief of TUV Media

metaphors, it is the views of my life that I have some control over. I believe that the more we begin to understand our

intentions about our lives, we will realize that nothing is insignificant in life.

Every day presents itself as an important day, and every second is a growth

opportunity to deepen our character, to demonstrate love, or deepen our

commitments on becoming intentional!

Remember, that your time on earth will be brief, that our days are numbered,

and that life will be fleeting. We are only here on earth for just a little while…So,

be Mindful about who, what, when, and

where you invest your time. Be intentional about making the best use of your life because we won’t be here long…

"All things are working for my good, cause he’s intentional.

Never failing, I know that all things are working for my good" Travis Greene

6

| EDITOR’S LETTER

THE UNLEASHED VOICE |

7

D&G’s Klassy Designs owner

SirGlen Allen— husband, stylist, designer, influencer — shares memories and insights about

success in love, life, and business after the leap of faith

to live his life as the Klassy

Brother he was created to be.

By TUV Staff

ALL PHOTOS OF SIRGLEN ALLEN BY Greg Lopez Photography

Q: Your website declares, “My mission is to take your ‘you’ and help you give it to the world.” How was it that you began, for yourself, to give your own “you” to the world?

A: I was raised by my mother in the

COGIC church, the fifth out of my seven siblings. Out of all of us seven, I was the one always in church. I loved church so

much that when my mom punished me, she would just tell me I couldn't go to

church. She didn’t whip me or anything

8

| COVER STORY

like that. Instead, when the church van

would come and pick me up, she would just tell me, “No, you can't go tonight. So go to

I have to tell you.” And she said, “What's

I would cry like I had just gotten a whipping.

tired of keeping it a secret.” She said,

the door and tell them you can't come.” And So as a young boy, I became a leader in the church and a minister in the church. And the church would always speak against homosexuality, but I kind of knew who I

was as a young boy. Because of the church

and how I was raised, it was just something I kept inside and didn't say anything. I struggled with that for years.

So, I will never forget the day that, probably about 3:00 in the morning, I had just left a

club in Memphis after having a really good time on a Saturday night. I called my mom on my way home, and I was just crying.

She was like, “Are you okay? What's the

matter?” I said, “Well, there's something

going on?” I said, “Mom, I'm gay, and I'm “You're not telling me anything I didn’t

already know.” So that was a relief for me.

My mom said to me, “Glen, I have no problem with that. You're my son. I love you.” And then she said, “You know me. You know

what I stand for. The only thing I would ask you to do is step down from the pulpit at

church.” It hurt me because at that time it made me feel like God didn't love me, and

like I couldn't be a Christian, couldn’t serve

and be gay at the same time. After that I still went to church sometimes, but no longer

frequented that often. I only found my way

back when I started getting to know God for

myself. Before I had felt like I was serving my

had what we called a ceremony in Memphis so our family and friends could attend locally. My mom, and my brothers and

sisters, and my husband's family were there.

He has four children, and all his children

were at the wedding except his son because he was away in the military. And my mom

gave me away at the ceremony. Then the

next day we headed out to Washington, DC to be legally married there in an intimate moment between the two of us.

Q: Was there any conversation or preparation between you two about what life together was going to be like beyond the wedding?

mother's God, or my pastor’s God, and didn't

A: From Memphis to DC was about a 14-hour

Q: When and how was it that you ended up

During this time, we just had a conversation

really know God for myself.

drive, and we had no radio on the way there.

meeting your husband?

about what we were getting into, whether

A: My husband Dennis and I met around

life together, what the future would hold for

2010. I had seen him at church before, and when we got connected on social media,

we started messaging back and forth. One day he sent me a message, and for some

reason I never saw it until a year later when I was going back through Messenger one

day. So, I didn’t know if he was still available or anything but took a risk and reached

out to say, “Hey, I'm sorry. I never saw this

message. Please forgive me.” He responded later, “Oh, it's cool. It's okay.” And I said, “No, I'm sorry. Do me this favor. Allow me to take you to dinner, my treat.” At the time, I lived in Jonesboro, and he lived in Memphis. So

that weekend, he drove to Jonesboro, and I took him out to dinner, gave him a gift, a

big teddy bear, and told him again that I was sorry. It was that day that we officially met, and we have not been apart since.

He proposed in 2011, and we ended up

marrying before it was legal in our home

states of Tennessee and Arkansas, because those states didn't recognize gay marriage yet. Since we couldn't have a wedding, we

we were ready, what the plans were for our us. He visited my mom and asked her if he

could marry me, the whole nine. And she told him, “Hey, he’s, my son. I love him. All I ask is that you take care of him.” So that was my

conversation with him on the drive down. I said, “Are you going to make sure that I'm

good? If things happen, how will we resolve

our conflicts? Is divorce ever in our options?”

We talked about all of that.

Q: Have there been any surprises for you about what it means to be a husband, or anything you’ve learned about being married that you hadn’t expected?

A: I’m 38 now. I was in my mid-20s when we got married, and we’re 25 years apart. He

didn’t know if he was ready. I didn't know if I

was ready. But we were willing to take a risk

on each other because we loved each other.

I think anything in life that you're unaware of is always going to be a risk. So, because we loved each other, because we cared about each other, we just decided to take a risk.

He took a risk on me. I took a risk on him.

And it was history.

COVER STORY |

9

I was the first in my family to participate in a

same-gender loving marriage, so everybody kind of looked at me differently. There was a lot that I didn't know as related to marriage, and I had nobody that I could look up to for what marriage means as a same-gender loving couple. Dennis had been married

before, but to a woman, so he had never been

in a gay marriage either. So, it was new for the both of us. There was no handbook for what we had. We made up the rules as we went.

For the first 10 years of our relationship, we never had one argument. People used to

ask us, “Have you had your first argument?”

When we said, “No,” and people would be

like, “Are you serious? You've never argued?”

One of the things about us though is that

we're great communicators. We try to make

sure that we sit down and discuss whatever happens and however it makes us feel.

So, by the time we did finally have our first

argument, I think that’s how we resolved it.

Q: After the federal recognition of samesex marriage, did anything feel like it changed for you?

A: It changed our point of view because

at first, we were quiet with it and wouldn't say much about us being married. But we had always talked about wanting to get

married again if gay marriage ever become legal. And I will never forget, we were in Atlanta at Bishop O.C. Allen’s church,

Vision Cathedral Church, for our Annual

Convocation. We were sitting in church and Dennis nudged me, showing me his phone, “Hey, they passed the law. It's legal now.

We're legal now.” So, we felt like we had to

do our marriage again under the right of it being legal. It was actually five years into

our marriage then, and we ended up having

I tell people all the time, “When you're doing bad, people are going to say something.

When you're doing good, people are still going to say something.

So, live your life for you.”

boutique, and started doing so many things

and we’re able to be who God has created

you're doing bad, people are going to

us to be, we have flourished. We have

flourished in life and in business. God has just done great things for us as a couple.

in different cities and states.

Then I started a nonprofit organization focused on speaking to teenagers,

to the community, to churches about

professionalism and how to dress for

success. And my business just skyrocketed from there. My company is called

D&G’s Klassy Designs, and the D&G is

for Dennis & Glen. It took off far greater

than I would have ever thought, and it was

because of the push of him as my husband saying, “Hey, do it. Let's make it happen.

Let’s let you fulfill your dream.”

Q: What would you say to others who feel hesitant about making the commitment to get married, considering how rewarding it has been for you?

A: “You’re damned if you do, and you’re

damned if you don’t. So just be damned

and do it.” I tell people all the time, “When say something. When you're doing good, people are still going to say something.

So, live your life for you.”

a vow renewal ceremony for our five-year

Dennis comes from the corporate world,

I do sometimes sit and wonder what my life

beautiful than the first time around.

business. When we got together, I told him

going to be miserable and unhappy because

anniversary. That ceremony was even more Q: How would you say your marriage has contributed to who and where

so he was very knowledgeable about

I had a passion for hair and wanted to go

to hair school. So, he told me, “Hey, go to

you are today?

hair school.” I went to hair school, became

A: Now that we have become legally

hair for a few years. And hair was the segue

married, and we’re part of a great church,

10

| COVER STORY

a licensed hairstylist, and started doing

to really get me into fashion and style. So, I got into fashion and style, and opened a

would be like if I hadn’t come out. But I’m not of what somebody else says. Then they’re

getting their sleep at night, resting at night, while I'm tossing and turning afraid to do

what I want or be who I am. I don't want to live like that. So, I would tell people, "Find your

inner strength, and reach down inside of you, and be who God has created you to be."

The Adams-Hill Family

Photo Credit: Asuquo Travels

Antwain Donté and Joshua’s relationship motto is simple, “Writing our own love story with no one else’s pen!”

“What comes after Antwain Donté jumps

witnessed the proposal. Antwain Donté

Donté noticed Joshua on a social media site

2, 2022, at the indescribable Knotting Hill

into Joshua’s DM is breathtaking. Antwain (Instagram) and instantly followed him.

After watching Josh’s pictures, which he didn’t post often and viewing his stories

over and over again, Antwain Donté found the courage to message Josh on May

21st… “You are the most beautiful man I’ve

ever seen!” Josh responded with a generic message but that didn’t stop Antwain

Donté. He messaged him again asking to

take him on a date and Josh allowed him to know, “If you’re coming to Nashville, sure

lol!” That was all the invite Antwain Donté

and Joshua Jr. became one on February Place in Little Elm, TX. This enchanted

event fit for two kings was nothing less

than Royal & Regal. The love that exuded the venue was like fireworks one’s eye

has never seen. The two honeymooned

in Honolulu, Hawaii where they spent six

days inhaling each other exhale awaiting to begin this lifelong journey. The one thing they stand firm on is finding

someone who won’t stop fighting with

you. Someone willing to stay in the ring

even when staying in the ring is difficult.

needed to show Josh how interested he

Antwain Donté and Joshua’s relationship

Nashville to meet Josh, who never thought

story with no one else’s pen!” It’s easy

was. On May 26th Antwain Donté headed to would be his husband for the first time. The two held a long-distance relationship for

about 6 months before Josh relocated to Texas and Antwain Donté followed suit.

After growing, learning, much therapy, and undying love the two got engaged on May

22, 2021, in Hilton Head, SC. The two were

joined by a slew of family and friends. Who

motto is simple, “Writing our own love to get caught up in other people's

interpretations or thoughts of you, but what matters most is the thought you

have for yourself and your partner. The two are looking to begin the surrogacy process at the end of this year and expand their family.

With love, The Adams-Hill Family”

THE UNLEASHED VOICE |

11

Let's Get It Out Mental Health is Health

By Jonita "Nita" McKinney, LMSW, HS-BCP

Don’t harbor pain, anger,

frustration, and other negative emotions that prevent you

from being the best version of yourself. It’s important

to communicate with those you trust, whether that’s

on FaceTime, WhatsApp or Duo for you Android users.

Sometimes it’s hard to

verbalize what we’re feeling so you can do something simple

like sending a text message or

writing a letter to someone you can trust. Find and regularly

talk to a therapist. Understand that if you haven’t spoken

about your emotions regularly

in the past, at first you will feel

uncomfortable. However, being able to open up and share

something that you’ve been

keeping to yourself for a long

time, can make you feel lighter, like a weight has been lifted.

You never know, the person

you’re talking to may identify

with your experiences, in turn making you feel less alone.

WALK IT OUT If you’re feeling depressed or

sad, try to walk it out. Working and body. Things like self-

esteem and anxiety can also be addressed with a regular workout regimen. Working

out also helps you improve your motivation. We know

motivation can be a barrier to

achieving many of the personal

12

| HEALTH & WELLNESS

These can be easy things that you can implement into your daily routine. You can walk

the dog, walk the kids, walk

anything that has legs to get your steps in! Walking with a

friend or a neighbor, just to help jump-start a workout regimen

can also help because you have

someone else that can hold you accountable. Remember, this is

also going to be difficult at first, but practice makes patterns.

The more you workout the easier it will get.

SEX IT OUT Chile, I know you’re like what?!

When people hear the word sex and mental health, they

think that these things are not related. Research tells us that

these things go hand and hand.

Sex can be stigmatized even in the therapy communities,

but slowly and surely, we are

turning the tide as a profession

sex can improve your mood

contact a sex therapist. They

much sex can affect mental

the endorphins and oxytocin

concerns in a non-judgmental,

as we fully understand how

health. The movement focused on sex and body positivity, the greater acceptance

of LGBTQIA+ and gender-

diverse identities, as well as the thriving sexual wellness

industry, are expanding new

approaches to sex and mental health. The more comfortable we become talking about sex with decrease the stigma,

leading to improved mental

health outcomes. Amazingly,

and relax your mind because of released during sex. Sex

helps to improve anxiety,

will allow you to discuss your supportive environment.

depression, and a number of

other mental health conditions.

Intimacy with your dedicated partner can not only deepen

your connection but can also

help to make your day-to-day

interactions healthier. If you’re having consistent issues

related to sexual encounters with your dedicated partner, it may be a great idea to

" "Nita McKin a t n ni

ey

out can improve your mind

goals we make for ourselves.

Jo

TALK IT OUT

the words "let me think about it"

from the hassles of real life

your kids tonight (tension in

is to decline. It is okay to offer

and tune into the breath-

snatching world created by

Shonda Rhimes. From Private

Practice to Grey's Anatomy to How to Get away with Murder and now Station 19, I remain

invested in how these ShondaLand characters cope with

life's unexpected changes.

When Shonda's book, "The

Year of Yes," was published,

as a devoted fan, I purchased

my copy. I spent most of 2017 and 2019 saying "yes" to

experiences that caused me to step outside my comfort zone personally and professionally.

Without fail, my greatest

successes and revelations

came from my willingness to

sit in discomfort. This path of curiosity led me to examine

further how I moved about in

the world. Honestly, it opened my eyes to the painful truth that I frequently said, "yes," to invitations and people

undeserving of my time, talents, and treasures. As a result

of chronic yeses, my health

suffered. My body ached all the time and exhaustion became

the norm. I needed to learn to

I'll adjust my plans to watch

the shoulders). Yes, I'll let you borrow money to pay your

electric bill (elevated heart rate).

Yes, I'll listen to you tell me for

the 50'leventh time your plans to leave a toxic relationship

(fatigue). Yes, I'll volunteer my

time and talents to your worthy cause (insomnia).

Here’s the thing, I know society tells us to make ourselves available to those in need because it is honorable.

However, society should also

listen to every airline that flies the friendly skies and tell us

to grab the oxygen masks and

something and the moment you said, "yes," you felt a cringing sensation in your stomach

or the urge to run away? Our

bodies send us messages when we engage in activities that

we should probably abort. For example, yes, I'll work a few

extra hours to help you finish

without judgment, which is the very definition of mindfulness.

Now, this is where the feathers

may ruffle. If you have agreed to do something and later decide that following through on your "yes" will cost you more than

you are willing to spend, then you can rescind your "yes."

Rescinding your yes will present some consequences and you get to decide how you will

manage those consequences moving forward.

invitation to each of you to

messages could result in

avoidable physical and mental

health complications, ultimately costing us money and time.

Saying "NO" is a form of self-

care and self-love necessary for wellness. If you do not

believe me, test this theory for yourself. Notice how you feel

physically and mentally the next time you agree to do something you don't want to do.

inner voice tells you before

Have you ever agreed to do

in the present moment, and

Ignoring our body's internal

first before helping others.

needed to learn to say "no" to my health and wellness.

your "NO" must be intentional,

As we enter the second quarter

When asked to consider a

experiences that compromised

others a mindful no. However,

place them over our faces

say "yes" to experiences that scared me for growth. I also

cross your lips if the inclination

request, take note of what your responding. If the request does not produce peace, profit, or

pleasure, decline immediately.

of 2022, I extend a heartfelt

consider the following, if you so desire (of course):

1. What are you saying "yes" to that no longer satisfies you?

2. Who are the people you feel inclined to pacify, despite

your inner voice screaming "ABORT" mission?

3. What needs to happen for you to channel your inner

Miss Sophia and boldly say, "HELL NO?"

Dr. U

By Dr. Umieca N. Hankton

your project (headache). Yes,

2007, I unashamedly detach

a N . Ha iec n m

on kt

The AUDACITY of NO

Most Thursday nights since

Permit yourself the audacity to unapologetically deny

requests, regardless of the

person making the request.

There is no need to follow up a declined statement with

an explanation or apology.

According to the rules of

assertive communication, "NO"

is a complete sentence. Let not

Dr. Umieca N. Hankton is a Licensed Clinical

Psychologist and Executive Director of UNH Counseling Services. She mindfully offers

trauma-informed behavioral health services to individuals who identify as Black, POC,

LGBTQ+, and others historically excluded.

The information shared in this article is for awareness purposes only.

13

LITERARY CORNER

How to HEAL a HOE I

n his new book, HOW TO HEAL A

HOE, Byron Jamal AKA the Love Guru

combines the spiritual principles he

preached as an LGBTQ+ pastor with the practical everyday techniques he uses today in his live seminars and digital

programs. Released on Valentine’s Day, the book coaches’ gay men on how to

ditch destructive sexual traits and learn to love themselves, their bodies and their passions, as they are; as God created them to be.

“Sex is natural and an integral part of

adult life,” says Byron Jamal, the former pastor turned Love Guru. “However,

despite sharing it with lovers, partners, and even strangers, many of us feel uncomfortable discussing sex.”

B

l

When Mr. Jamal recognized how his own

o n J a ma r y

sexual hang-ups were harming people around him and himself, he decided

to dig deeper into its source. He

confronted his sexual shame, the trauma from his past, and the stigma he was

...despite sharing it with lovers, partners, and even strangers, many of us feel uncomfortable discussing sex.

14

| THE UNLEASHED VOICE

carrying, and decided to abandon

conventional views on sex and sexuality and develop his own approach to sex.

In HOW TO HEAL A HOE, the Love Guru combines the spiritual principles he

preached as a pastor with the practical everyday techniques he uses today in

his practice as a Love Guru. He coaches men and women — single, married, and of all sexual orientations — on how to

overcome their perceived "hoe-ness."

Byron Jamal is the founder of the

Extraordinary Love Academy and

Beloved Community, which serves

thousands of diverse men and women through live seminars and digital

programs. As a bisexual love healer,

Byron is able to aid all types of people regardless of their sexual orientation.

HOW TO HEAL A HOE will be available on Amazon. www.byronjamal.com @byronjamal

He also serves as a love coach for

singles and couples. He splits his time between teaching love and spiritual practices and spending time with friends and family.

LITERARY CORNER

Daisa's Diary arKer Bryant has released BlackQueer erotica audio

series DAISA'S DIARY for an immersive experience; it premiered on Heart Beats

& Mind Stutters & YouTube on January 8.

"I am excited about this creation. Daisa's Diary is inspired by BlackQueer life and love. It's our experience without the costumes of fairytales. Anyone can

relate to the realness in this story,” said Bryant. "As we journey with Daisa in her memories and open up our very own

black boxes, we are able to feel a little less judged and a little less afraid to explore pleasure and love."

DAISA'S DIARY is a six-episode audio season first released as a short story

eBook during the first lockdown of the pandemic (March 2020). The series

character Daisa, who unfolds herself

to curate an innovative engagement

with narratives that center our ability to use our minds as the ultimate

travel vessels into our memories and

future. Readers get the opportunity to

experience a storyline beyond the pages with narrative-experience relevant

journal prompts & affirmations, sex &

pleasure education community chats with experts, virtual art exhibits, and

much more. "I'm extremely proud of the well thought project. I built this literacy

experience with the power of our mind(s) and healing capabilities in my heart,"

...we can feel a little less judged and a little less afraid to explore pleasure and love.

Bryant concludes.

DAISA'S DIARY was created by ParKer

Bryant; co-curated by Dominique C. Hill.

e r B r ya K r

nt

follows the journal entry of the main

'The Immersive Experience' mission is

Pa

P

to the audience through reflective

journaling detailing painful, sexual,

and potentially healing experiences

all while preparing to meet a person she met on social media.

LISTEN TO DAISA'S DIARY. Episode 1 & 2 on Anchor. www.blackqueerheal.com DEEPEN THE CONNECTION @parkerslove_ @theparkerbryant ParKerBryantBABL Heart Beats & Mind Stutters Newsletter: Green Tea & Lime Water THE UNLEASHED VOICE |

15

It’s Worth the Work:

Why Intentional Relationships Are Better

By Brodderick D. Roary

B

efore we get into why

intentional relationships

are better, we need to establish what exactly they are. The

dictionary defines intentional as “done on purpose;

deliberate.” This meaning plays an important role in what an intentional relationship is. It

involves being active instead

of passive and making things

happen rather than waiting for them to happen to you.

Intentional relationships are

not convenient relationships; dating someone simply

because he or she is around

all the time (i.e. conveniently located in your life) rather

than having a real romantic connection to them. They

aren’t short term, and they are not dictated by the superficial things: physical attraction,

monetary reasons, friends with benefits, etc. When you enter

into an intentional relationship

you are proving that you’re in it for the long run.

You fight the hard fights and learn how to work and grow together as a couple. This

type of relationship means

not giving up when things get tough. Conflict is inevitable,

and instead of running away from it, you run towards it,

ready to tackle it together.

This sounds like a lot of work, right? So why are intentional relationships better?

Like anything, hard work pays

off. The following are just a few

of the many benefits that apart of intentional relationships:

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| THE UNLEASHED VOICE

your time with. They’re the

person whom which you share everything– they know your

secrets, your fears, your good

THEY ARE MORE SUCCESSFUL IN THE LONG RUN: It’s common for relationships to drift, even romantic ones.

After so many years and

children together, drifting can

be natural. But those who aren’t in intentional relationships

don’t care enough to prevent the emotional separation.

Part of being in an intentional relationship is noticing when

distance begins and finding a

way to combat it. These unions have a much better chance at longevity than others.

INTENTIONAL RELATIONSHIPS ARE STRONGER: As mentioned earlier, conflict

and arguments are inevitable,

but in intentional relationships, you work through the conflict by practicing appropriate

conflict management. You learn how to be open and honest

with one another. The more

you communicate through your problems instead of letting

them win, the more you’ll grow closer to one another.

INTENTIONAL RELATIONSHIPS MAKE BOTH PARTNERS HAPPIER: Your partner is the person

When you are intentional in pursuing someone, it is because you recognize that the person is a gift, and you desire to treat them as such…

1 COR 13: 4-7

parts and your bad parts – and

MAKE TIME FOR

But they can only be THAT

Life will inevitably get in the

relationship is intentional.

come up. Set a weekly date

they love you regardless.

EACH OTHER.

person for you if your

way, and something will always

Having somebody you love

this much and can rely on to

that extent, leads to an overall

healthier and happier lifestyle.

Wanting an intentional

relationship is great, but

maintaining one is the hard

part. Here are some tips on

how to ensure your relationship stays intentional:

BRING THE BEST OF YOURSELF INTO THE RELATIONSHIP. Continue to uphold your values and morals. Listen well, love

well, and show gratitude and

appreciation for your partner.

SUPPORT YOUR PARTNER IN THEIR DREAMS AND

night that you aren’t allowed to miss, no matter the excuse.

ESTABLISH DAILY RITUALS TOGETHER. While the big things are

important, it’s the little things that add up. Find time every

day to spend together – read the paper and enjoy a cup of

coffee each morning or go on an evening stroll through the neighborhood.

Intentionality keeps in mind that love is a gift. To love is to make a gift of yourself

to another. Intentionality is

authentic because when we

are intentional, especially in

moments when it’s challenging

AMBITIONS.

or uncomfortable, we are

Believe in and support your

love the person. Love is patient

partner. Use your time and energy to invest in them.

GIVE MORE THAN YOU TAKE. If the two of you continually do this, you will both constantly

strive to be better for the other.

making a conscious effort to

and kind; love is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or

rude. Love does not insist on

its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong but rejoices in the right.

Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

who you likely spend most of

THE UNLEASHED VOICE |

17

18| CONTENTS

Doing Nothing is Something Worth Doing

By Beth Trouy

other responsibilities, there’s

Creativity is at its highest

Studies also show that working

peaceful stillness. Doing nothing

little time left for idleness.

more does not coincide with

more productivity. In fact, the opposite is true. Productivity

declines as does performance after a certain amount of

time. The Centers for Disease

Control show more injuries and

performance decline when one goes beyond 9 hours of work.

Fatigue, cognitive sluggishness and distraction increase as

our brains struggle to stay on

task. Combine that with multi-

tasking and we have a recipe for accidents. It’s no surprise that people who regularly work 60

W

hen was the last time

you sat still in complete

silence for more than 10

minutes? No music, no company, no phone. Nothing. Silence.

Stillness. No, sleeping does not

count and neither does praying.

I’m talking about intentionally taking yourself off the grid for the explicit purpose of

deliberately paying attention to your thoughts and sensations without judgment; being fully present to yourself in a void

of silence. Just 10 minutes to sit and hear your breathing

without thinking of work and all the things you need to be

doing. What I’m referring to is an intentional mindfulness of oneself in the present, which

is a form of meditation. If you

can’t recall the last time you meditated, you are in good

company. It’s rare these days that anyone chooses to be

mindfully idle with no agenda

other than to be. Perhaps this is

also why we are all more anxious than ever and finding it harder to cope with life.

For a country who works more

hours per person than any other country in the world, we can’t

conceive of “wasting” time doing nothing. A recent Gallup survey

showed that not only are 50% of Americans averaging 47 hours of work per week, but some of us (18%) are working weekly

more than 60 hours. And that’s

just our job hours. If we calculate our work at home and our

or more hours a week have an

average life span that is 15 years

less than the national population.

Between balancing work, home

responsibilities, and community commitments, there’s little time left for idle thought.

Doing nothing seems like such

a waste of time. How can we do nothing when there’s always

things that need to be attended to and projects waiting to be

completed? But doing nothing

IS doing something. In fact, it’s

during the times of idleness that

our brains regenerate, replenish, and recover. This state of

mindful focus on nothingness is

more important than work itself.

when our brains are relaxed in is exactly what we need most

when we are experiencing the stress of being too busy.

Mindfulness not only restores our inner peace but it also

provides the gift of clarity. Going

off the grid and taking a moment to still the mind allows us time

to process and regain a clearer

vision. We force unruly children into “timeout” with their faces

in the corner of a room so they can calm down. It’s too bad we can’t do the same for adults.

We often don’t know what is

best for us at the moment any better than a 4-year-old. We

would do much better to take a time out and go sit in a corner in silence rather than heading

to the bar, scanning videos on our phones or trying to cram

in “one more thing.” If only we

had adult “mindfulness zones” expertly placed in high stress areas where we could detach

from all stimuli and power down for a time. Are you looking for something to do to help with your anxiety?

Try doing nothing.

We have much more likelihood of coming up with fresh ideas when we are mindfully idle.

SPIRITUALITY |

19

Philly Muuff

By Monick Monell TUV New York Correspondent

A

s an independent artist you have to “come through as

a force, as a woman they look

and treat you differently right at

the door in this music business,” Philly Muuff vocalized to New York correspondent Monick

Monell about her outlook on

life. She wears many hats, one

as a tattoo artist, she also owns her own clothing company and

Be confident

andremember if

is looking forward to having her

you like it, they

Starting at the young age of 16

She is working on her new

grow into her art. Muuff shared

in numerous collaborations.

music in film and video games.

Philly Muuff was beginning to

that Capt’n Teno saw her talent

around the age of 18. He became a brother figure and right-hand

man who later merged their music with the videos he engineered.

I ask other promoters who’ve

worked with Philly Muuff at their respective clubs. She’s known

for hosting events such as speed dating, podcasts and fashion

shows. The consensus agreement was that “she is phenomenal, and

that watching Philly Muuff perform

will love it!

EP and has been included Follow her social media

handles to catch up on her continuing success.

What I enjoyed most about

interviewing Philly Muuff was her all-round approach to

bringing life in her words. Her music is for the masses, and

she is doing the work. She is

booked, busy and making sure others know to keep going.

equals to a house party vibe.”They

Special Thanks, to Danielle

to truly understand her impactful

ounder of 7th.

stressed that you have to attend sound. Muuff is known for her hits “Snickers, Stupid Dummy and Muuff Boondocks Outro

freestyle.” As her fan base expands in numbers. I’m looking forward to attending her first live show.

Q: What would you tell new artists who are just coming into the scene?

20

A: Be intentional,

| ENTERTAINMENT

Erwin owner and

Seed Productions for the network connects nd for shining the light on great artists and films.

Find Philly Muuff on Spotify.

Her newest single is Innards. @Muuffinnisbitch @philly.muuff

Search her videos for Snickers Boondocks, Outro Freestyle and Stupid Dummy

Community Healing “ONE ACTION AT A TIME”

by Rodnisha Ford

system failing Black people.

Gnawing our way through the wreckage of our mangled

bodies born of trauma, we

have nowhere to turn in times of pain. Tired and unwell, we desperately seek an

outstretched hand to save

us and soon realize that no hand

will ever come. Sink or swim, live or die, this defines

the treatment of Black bodies in healthcare.

My disdain for such historically horrific treatment of Black people, especially Black

women, has always grown silently, attacking white

supremacy within the comfort

of my mind. In 2018 my silence bloomed into passionate fury

as I questioned the inaccessible rates and blatant disregard

for Black communities within the health spaces around

me. That year I worked at a

holistic mental health office

where practitioners preached wellness for everyone but

seeking aid. In one incident, I remember being told to stay

on high alert of a “potentially

dangerous man” that had found

his way into the office. I saw the young gentleman in question

and realized that he was simply a Black man. When asked what he needed, he shared that he

just moved to LA from Brooklyn and was looking for help. He wasn’t a threat. The office

was in no danger. I let it sink

my archaic mindset and shifted

out of reach of the healthcare

space for Black people. It didn’t

out of the United States and

Our existence is revolutionary;

everyone” didn’t have a healing have a healing space for me.

That same year, my mother, only

53 years young, was hospitalized and fighting for her life. Doctors labeled her predicament as

“complications during surgery", but failed to mention that the

complications were due to an unrelated mistake made by

the surgeon years prior during a previous surgery. Doctors overlooked and covered up this fatal error. Rooms over,

another family grieved a loss at

the hands of the same surgeon.

At this moment, I realized that my mother’s doctors did not

sufficiently educate themselves or any of their patients on

potentially safer alternatives

to harmful and, in some cases, unnecessary surgery. Even

worse is the doctors’ lack of

accountability, and the hospital's steadfast commitment to cover up fatal mistakes at the cost of Black and Brown bodies. This

is the nature of the healthcare

system that led to my mother’s life hanging in the balance.

By the time we had medical

records and staff stories put

together, all the pieces spelled out neglect. On the table they

saw a Black woman and deemed her unworthy of life. A few

months later she died, and a part of me did too.

In the midst of my grief and

despair, I completely dismantled

system’s death grip.

into a new perspective. I moved

it is only fitting that our

found solace in Thailand to

healing is as well.

take time to heal my own body, mind, and spirit. I vowed not

There is no more time for

to work for anyone other than

games; the Revolution is now

myself as I create holistic

and we are standing on the

healing spaces for Black and

front lines. This movement

Queer communities. I began

is far bigger than my desire

to understand that due to lack

to stay comfortable, so I am

of access to information and

here—climbing through the grit

resources, Black people are

in order to inform and heal our

stuck in a healthcare system

people. I work to give access

that is determined to keep us

to resources that a white

unwell. I acknowledge that this

supremacistt system tries to

simply will not do anymore, so I

keep us from. I fight to keep us

launched Creative Wholeness

alive. The movement lives in me

(creative-wholeness.com), a

as my mother’s legacy lives on.

holistic health and wellness

I stand for all those who don’t

organization determined to

yet know that they can, and I

cultivate self expression and

creativity as a way to decolonize our healing spaces. Through

will not stop until Black, Brown

and Queer folx are reconnected with a holistic sense of

this work, I offer one-on-

community wellness on all

one health coaching, group

wellness sessions, and intensive workshops that are designed to

levels of mind, body, and spirit.

Because we fucking deserve it.

help address counterproductive behavior patterns and restore our mind-body connection.

Using an integrative and trauma mindful approach, I teach

o

isha Fo n d

rd

blatantly shunned Black people

in that this “healing space for

R

I

am tired of the U.S. healthcare

basic practical tools that help sustain wellness by utilizing our body’s natural ability to

restore itself. I operate through a holistic framework rooted

in acknowledging all aspects of physical, mental, spiritual, emotional, and social needs

Freelance Writer

as they influence wellness.

r.l.ford13@gmail.com

goal—it keeps us healthy and

She/Her/They/Them

Preventative care is the ultimate

blackgirlwrites.com

THE UNLEASHED VOICE |

21

wellness. I no longer recognized

the alert of trauma upon hearing

worth was shattered. As I look

middle of the night. My ability

myself. I felt gutted as my self-

the whirring of a helicopter in the

back, I know that it was my faith

that carried me through the darkest hours. But it hasn’t been easy.

surgery within forty-five days.

Each day, I became stronger.

were limited due to the Covid-19

by thinking of someone other

My visits with family and friends

My willpower was strengthened

pandemic. Hopelessness set

than myself. As infection spread

in as I drifted through a fog of

drug-induced hallucinations. Day by day, I began to waste away, both mentally and physically.

This couldn’t possibly be my life. I

prayed and asked God to continue to give me the strength and

guidance to endure. I willed myself not to not give up.

to someone else will make you feel

empty” kind of person. But as

I’ve aged, that belief has been

continuously tried and tested,

stretched beyond my imagination.

I admit it, I felt sorry for myself.

I thought God had forgotten

about me as I mourned a life I had always dreamed of but

never seemed to attain: A wife to grow old with; loyal friends who

wouldn’t betray me; the blessings of good health and wellness.

Being diagnosed several years ago with a chronic illness for

which there is no cure changed

my life forever and permanently

challenged my expectations around

22

| THE UNLEASHED VOICE

limbs in a traumatic accident

calmed my anxiety as well as

my spirit. By the grace of God,

I’ve healed from many traumas, some that I never speak of to

anyone. I will not abandon hope

better. One evening, I saw stress

God will give me a life better than I ever dreamed of. Sorrow will be restored with a joy that makes

and fatigue on the face of one of

my nurses as she administered my medication. She looked surprised when I inquired about how she

was holding up given the influx

me understand why things had to happen the way they did.

UNTIL THEN, I AM EXACTLY WHERE I’M MEANT TO BE.

of Covid-19 patients. She told

me that she and the other nurses

were terrified for themselves and

their families. She confessed that spent a lot of time in my room.

She stated that I rarely rang my

call button and that I was one of

Mo

she felt guilty because she hadn’t

ka ni

M. Pi

ck

t

half full” versus a “glass half

of someone possibly losing their

et

pride myself on being a “glass

blessed I still was. The thought

would have. If I remain obedient,

you’re going through, being kind

I

through my limbs, I realized how

by mourning the life I thought I

I once read that no matter what

By Monika M. Pickett

going through somewhere in the

life was worse for someone else.

alone in the hospital after a third

of the Life I Thought I Would Have

perspective. No matter what I was world, perhaps in the next room,

This past Thanksgiving, I was

LETTING GO

to empathize put things into

her best patients. Her eyes teared up when I responded. What right did I have to become inpatient

when she could not refresh my

ice immediately because she had a patient who was coding? Who

was I to become belligerent simply

because my coffee was lukewarm?

Her face softened when I shared that I had been a medic in the

Army. She became engrossed with my recollections of working in a field hospital. I know that “code

blue” means a patient is in cardiac or respiratory arrest. I know that “code white” means a patient is

combative or violent. I recognize

Monika M. Pickett is a veteran of the United States Army.

She is the author of the #1 International Best-Selling novel Pretty Boy Blue, Second Edition, and its sequel The Darkest Shade of Blue, available on Amazon.

Pickett is an advocate for the LGBTQ community. For more information on Monika M. Pickett, please visit, MonikaMPickett.com

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| THE UNLEASHED VOICE