The Parrot
The Gulf Coast’s Favorite Source For Entertainment January 2011
Inside: Local Guides • Lots of Great Jokes • Live Music • Events
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January 2011
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January 2011
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Send Your Comments To Incoming@swflparrot.com
Parrot Incoming Hello All, I love all the fun! Here’s to another year! Cheers!! Doug K. Venice Hey Parrot Peeps, I enjoyed the new crossword puzzle. I don’t normally do crosswords but yours is different since the question all pertain to the paper. Great idea! You guys always keep it new! Thanks and Happy New Year!! Matt P. Pt Charlotte
Aloha Kristen! Someone from your area called to order one of my carved pendants, who said she read about me in your magazine....Thanks! I even do a Parrothead hook, and made the first one for friend Jimmy Buffett! Again, Thanks, Happy New Year Louie the Fish! Hawaii
Drive By Shooting
Dear Parrot Staff, I just picked up a copy of your publication for the first time, its great! I’m hooked, looking forward to next month’s issue. Its so Florida! Jenni H. Englewood
A New Holiday Family Classic Order your signed, first edition copy before they’re gone!
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Message Board Happy New Year Parrot Peeps! This year the stars have all lined up to spread peace and prosperity all over the planet... FINALLY! The Ancient Mayans (similar to the Chinese) identified each year with a different local creature. This year it is the “Year Of The Parrot” which only happens every 26,000 years, and can only mean one thing... An end to all conflicts around the world and a Margarita in every hand... Well... Not really, but it sounded good! May you all have a wonderful and prosperous 2011, peace in your heat, and a Margarita in your hand!!! Happy New Year Everyone, The Parrot Staff
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Saturday, January 29, 2011 3rd annual
mile bicycle ride • 8k Run • 5k fun walk • 10/20Across The US 41 Gilchrist Bridge Location Bayshore Live Oak Park 23157 Bayshore Road in Historic CharlotteHarbor,Florida Event registration starts - 6:45 a.m. - 7:45 a.m.
Event hotline: 941-639-1922
Registration Forms available at: www.zoomers.com
KeyWestCa sinoTo o
o n i s a C t s e W y Ke 24430 Sandhill Blvd. (Deep Creek) Punta Gorda
502 King Street (Corner of E. Charlotte Ave, & 41 North) Punta Gorda
941-875-9823
941-347-8169
OPEN 9 am to 1am
OPEN 10 am to 10 pm
7 Days a Week 18 & Over Lunch from 12 to 6 daily
$100 Drawing
$100 Drawing
LIVE ENTERTAINMENT
Every Thursday PIZZA NIGHT
Bingo Every Hour Tournament Game
Every Thursday & Saturday Evening
All Day Long until 11:30 pm every night Men’s night Ladies night $10 MATCH PLAY $10 MATCH PLAY MONDAY FRIDAY
Lunch & Dinner Served Daily
$5
New Matc Player h Pla y
Bingo Every Hour
RAFFLE GAME 4X A DAY
Ask About Our V.I.P. CARDS Fill Up The Card $5 Machine Play
Men’s night $10 MATCH PLAY THURSDAY
FALL FOOTBALL FUN ( Sundays & Mondays only )
Every Wednesday PIZZA NIGHT
Ladies night $10 MATCH PLAY TUESDAY
Bring a friend to sign up you get $5.00 Machine Play
Ask us how you can WIN on Sunday for Machine Play on Monday All Winning Paid Out In Machine Play
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January 2011
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Twisted Humor Ten Indications of a New Year Hangover 1. You get it into your head that chirping birds are the Devil’s pets. 2. Trying to gain control of the situation, you continue to tell your room to “Stay still.” 3. Looking at yourself in the mirror induces the same reaction as drinking a glass of fresh paint. 4. The bathroom reminds you of the fairground cry, “Step right up and give it whirl!” 5. You’d rather chew tacks than be exposed to sunlight. 6. You set aside an entire afternoon to spend some quality time with your toilet. 7. You replace the traditional praying on your knees with the more feasible praying in a fetal position. 8. Your catch phrase is, “Never again.” 9. You could purchase a new fridge on the proceeds from recycling the bottles around your bed. 10. Your new response to “Good morning,” is “Be quiet!” A tourist in a bar in Florida asks an Irishman sitting at the bar, “Why do Scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats?” To which the Irishman replies: “If they fell forwards they’d still be in the freckin’ boat.” THE BOTTLE OF WINE A woman was driving home from one of her business trips, in Northern Arizona, when she saw an elderly Navajo woman walking on the side of the road. As the trip was a long ride. and quiet one,
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she stopped the car and asked the Navajo woman if she would like a With a silent nod of thanks, the woman got into the car. Resuming the journey, She tried - in vain - to make a bit of small talk with the Navajo woman. The old woman just sat silently, looking intently at everything she saw, studying every little detail, until she noticed a brown bag on the seat next to the woman driving. “What in bag?” asked the old woman. She looked down at the brown bag and said: “It’s a bottle of wine. I got it for my husband.” The Navajo woman was silent for another moment or two. Then, speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder, she said: “Good trade . . .” Dear Lord, So far this year I’ve done well. I haven’t gossiped, I haven’t lost my temper, I haven’t been greedy, grumpy, nasty, selfish, or overindulgent. I’m very thankful for that. But in a few minutes, Lord, I’m going to get out of bed, and from then on I’m probably going to need a lot more help. Amen Patrick is out with his friends and stops by his grandmother’s house for a visit. There’s a bowl of peanuts on the coffee table. So Patrick and his friends start snacking on them. When they’re ready to leave, his friends say, “Nice to meet you, ma’am, and thank you for the peanuts.” Then Grandma says, “You’re welcome. Eat all ya’ want... Ever since I lost my dentures, all I can do is suck the chocolate off ‘em.”
Every Thursday Night is
Country-Western Night
at applebees just off kings highway and i-75! Join Applebee's every Thursday from 9:30pm - 2am for a night of great country music and amazing prizes!
HOSTED LIVE EVERY WEEK BY:
January 2011
24467 Sandhill Blvd. 941-235-9184
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Twisted Humor
2705 Tamiami Trail • Towles Plaza, Suite 311• Punta Gorda, Fl 33950 941-505-1011 Coppola Keratin Complex hair Treatment
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MURDER AT WALMART Tired of constantly being broke & stuck in an unhappy marriage, a young husband decided to solve both problems by taking out a large insurance policy on his wife with himself as the beneficiary, and then arranging to have her killed. A ‘friend of a friend’ put him in touch with a nefarious dark-side underworld figure who went by the name of ‘Artie.’ Artie explained to the husband that his going price for snuffing out a spouse was $5,000. The husband said he was willing to pay that amount, but that he wouldn’t have any cash on hand until he could collect his wife’s insurance money. Artie insisted on being paid at least something up front, so the man opened his wallet, displaying the single dollar bil l that rested inside. Artie sighed, rolled his eyes, & dirty deed. reluctantly agreed to accept the dollar as down payment for the A few days later, Artie followed the man’s wife to the local Super Wal-Mart store. There, he surprised her in the produce department & proceeded to strangle her with his gloved
hands. As the poor unsuspecting woman drew her last breath & slumped to the floor, the manager of the produce department stumbled unexpectedly onto the murder scene. Unwilling to leave any living witnesses behind, ol’ Artie had no choice but to strangle the produce manager as well. However, unknown to Artie, the entire proceedings were captured by the hidden security cameras & observed by the store’s security guard, who immediately called the police. Artie was caught and arrested before he could even leave the Dollar at Wal Mart” store. Under intense questioning at the police station, Artie revealed the whole sordid plan, including his unusual financial arrangements with the hapless husband who was also quickly arrested. The next day in the newspaper, the headline declared...“Artie Chokes Two for a dollar.” An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels. After sitting
Mon-Fri 9-4 Weekend and evening appointments available. Page 10
January 2011
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Twisted Humor there for a while, he yells to the bartender, ‘Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?’ The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, ‘Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair, Given that you are blind, that you should know five things: 1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat. 2. The bouncer is a blonde girl. 3. I’m a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate. 4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter. 5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler. Now, think about it seriously, Cowboy. Do you still wanna tell that blonde joke?’ The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters, ‘No...not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times. The Black Bra - I had lunch with 2 of my unmarried friends. One is engaged, one is a mistress, and I have been married for 20+ years. We were chatting about our
relationships and decided to amaze our men by greeting them at the door wearing a black bra, stiletto heels and a mask over our eyes. We agreed to meet in a few days to exchange notes. Here’s how it all went. My engaged friend: The other night when my boyfriend came over he found me with a black leather bodice, tall stilettos and a mask.He saw me and said, ‘You are the woman of my dreams. I love you.’ Then we made passionate love all night long. The mistress : Me too! The other night I met my lover at his office and I was wearing a raincoat, under it only the black bra, heels and mask over my eyes. When I opened the raincoat he didn’t say a word, but he started to tremble and we had wild sex all night. Then I had to share my story: When my husband came home I was wearing the black bra, black stockings, stilettos and a mask over my eyes. When he came in the door and saw me he said......, “What’s for dinner, Zorro?”
Family owned & Operated
14503 S. Tamiami Trail Suite A
Every Saturday to The #1 Farmers Market inDowntownPuntaGorda
VOTED #1 Small Market in Florida • and #15 in the USA.
8 am till 1pm
rain or shine. Located at the intersection of West Olympia Ave. and Taylor St. by the OLD HISTORIC COURTHOUSE. Produce Stand Now Accepting EBT Cards
Food, Music, Balloon Man, Flowers, Plants, Art and Jewelry, FREE Kids Art Table
closed Christmas day and New Years day.
phone: 941.391. 4856
"Watch for Santa Claus" on DEC. 11th and 18th.
www.puntagordafarmersmarket.com
Tanning Salon
Between Olde World Restaurant & Curves
North Port, Fl 34287
941-423-6821 Monthly Montly 5 ProSun 5 Lumina Unlimited Unlimited Single 20 MinuteHigh Tan Pressure Single 15 Minute Tan Monthly ProSun Package Tans ProSun Tanning Lumina Bed Bed Tans Tanning 30 Minute Massage 30 Minute Massage 30 Minute Massage $25.00 $40.00 $20.00 $60.00
$35.00
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expires 6 months after sign up date
$50.00
Monthly Lumina Package 30 Minute Massage $85.00
mon-Sat 10am-7pm Sun. noon-4pm
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January 2011
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SWFL PARROT
bartenter of the month
Sheina
Drink of the Month
Bar: The Celtic Ray Irish Pub How long have you been here? 5 months What do you like about working here? The warm atmosphere What do you do in your spare time? Play music, sculpt, and I’m a special effects make up artist. What makes your day? Travis stories! Use one word to describe your bar? Delicious
Fuller’s London Porter (New at The Celtic)
What is favorite kind of music? It sounds corny, but I like Celtic Folk music. What was the most memorable time at work? It was my first week here, on comedy night. I cant go into details. When is the best time to come see you? I will be here Thursday and Saturday nights and Sunday days.
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1. There is great need for a sarcasm font. 2. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet? 3. Was learning cursive really necessary? 4. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I’m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood. 5. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died. 6. I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.
Charlotte Harbor Parrot Heads Written by Charlotte Lanier aka Charlie Rose Hey Charlotte Harbor Parrotheads, what tiiiiiime is it? It’s time to ring in a new year, and with that some resolutions, so what better way to do that than to make a resolution to volunteer with almost 500 of your bestest Parrothead friends during the year helping to make Charlotte Harbor a better place. There are LOTS of opportunities to volunteer throughout the year, including but not limited to: helping out at membership or the store, selling raffle tickets, being a “host” of a meeting, taking the donated items to their end destination, helping chair a committee to plan all our great parties (or at least be a committee member), participating in the beach and river clean-ups, donating items
7. Bad decisions make good stories. 8.. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day. 9. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don’t want to have to restart my collection... again.
Drive By Shooting
most of 2010 (points allotted for donations and volunteering your time), and in 2011 we will have a great “Thank You” party for members who have achieved a certain number of points (check out the weekly e-mails for more info on this very shortly), and we will have discounts to the birthday and holiday parties for those folks who accumulate points. It’s easy to do - you just have to get off your butt for a little while during a meeting or party. Check out the “rules” and the number of points for each action on the website under “Club Info” and then “Parrot Points”. By the way, these points also affect how Buffett tickets are distributed assuming he comes to town near us. Our meeting on 12/14 was a little chilly, so Abe at Coral Rock finagled a way for us to be inside. It was a little cramped, but we made it work. The staff did a great job of getting around. We even had five new members join, so Welcome to the Party!! Gary & Kerri provided the entertainment, and Linda Harrison did a great job collecting money and gift cards for the Salvation Army’s program to buy items for seniors and teens (groups that tend to be forgotten). We raised $872 that
night, including proceeds from the 50/50 drawing that Dave Leonard won. Congrats, Dave! Since our holiday party is after the deadline I’ll share more about that next month. Otherwise that’s it for now. Our website is www. chphc.com. If you want to join this crazy club you can print out an app and mail it or join us at the next meeting, the second Tuesday of the month at the Coral Rock Tiki Bar (NE corner of Kings Hwy & US41). Some folks start getting there around 5:30, and the “official stuff” starts around 6:00. Hope to see you there. And remember, “Wrinkles only go where the smiles have been”. Photos by Second Parrot Kristen Randolph
at each meeting like cans, the pop-tops from them and empty pill bottles (most of which would be thrown away otherwise), along with the “item of the month”. We have a weekly e-mail for which you could write an article, we are looking for someone to bring back out printed bi-monthly newsletter, and if you know how to keep up a website we could use you, too. Feel free to approach any board member or contact us from the website. In this spirit, we had the Parrot Points system in place for
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Charlotte Harbor Visitor & Convention Bureau What I Learn About Charlotte Harbor & the Gulf Islands When Journalists Visit Jennifer A. Huber It’s always refreshing when friends, family and journalists visit Charlotte Harbor & the Gulf Islands and rave about it. It’s as though they’ve just discovered buried treasure.
Capt. Bill Thurlow captained the boat and made sure we had holiday hats to wear.
Heart of the Destination is in the Passion of the People In addition to being pleasantly surprised about all there is to do, the journalists frequently Last month I showcased the area to three travel journalists commented about the passion residents have for the area. who were unaware of the special and unique attractions, We met up with Punta Gorda Mayor Harvey Goldberg at the accommodations, restaurants and shopping we had to offer. Christmas tree lighting and And, all three of these journalists he explained the small-town American feel the destination live in Southwest Florida. Their whirl-wind trip of Charlotte has. County took them from the Christmas tree lighting in Punta Over at Octagon Wildlife Sanctuary, owner Lauri Caron Gorda to the waterways of Charlotte Harbor to the beaches shared her passion for the sanctuary. At first glance, it’s of Englewood. just another refuge for exotic and wild animals but learning the story of each animal and the emotional investment Caron has made humanizes the sanctuary. Many of the animals, including bears, lions, tigers and monkeys, were harmed by the hands of humans and Octagon is providing a comfortable place for them to live out their years. (Octagon Wildlife Rock Stars on a Boat Sanctuary, 41660 Horseshoe We were given the rock star Rd., Punta Gorda) treatment as the guests of Capt. Doug Buuck, organizer For a better understanding of the 21st Annual Charlotte of Florida beaches and why Harbor Lighted Boat Parade. they are important for our He arranged for us to be in the environment, Missy Christie with parade and in the boat with him. Charlotte County Community It was incredible getting up close Services’ Parks and Natural to the colorful and festive boat Resources provided an amazing displays and a thrill waving and and educational tour of Stump shouting out “Merry Christmas” Pass Beach State Park. If you to the thousands viewing the consistently read this column parade. His wife Sally ensured you know I spend a lot of time we were fed and hydrated while there. Touring it with Missy
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gave me a new perspesctive and respect for the park. We saw a pair of bald eagles building their nest and a gopher tortoise seeking shelter. She explained the nesting habits of snowy plovers and how they lay their eggs on the sand without protection. She cautioned when you hear a bird squawking on the beach, it probably means you’re close to a nest so be careful where you step. During this trip I was reminded why so many of us choose to live in Charlotte Harbor & the Gulf Islands. It’s the passion of our neighbors who enjoy the same things we do: the natural amenities, great restaurants, terrific attractions, boutique shopping and that small-town America charm. With New Year’s resolutions still fresh, make it one of your goals to get out and explore your backyard. Visit www. CharlotteHarborTravel.com for a list of events and activities. Florida Souvenirs Wanted for Museum Exhibit The Florida Historic Capitol Museum in Tallahassee is putting together an exhibit on Florida attraction souvenirs
January 2011
called, “Remembering Paradise: Souvenirs of Historic Florida Attractions.” The exhibit will be on display between April and September 2011. Visit Florida, the state’s official resource for travel planning, is compiling the artifacts and need your help! They are searching for fun, unique, odd, bizarre, unusual and rare Florida gifts. Smaller the better because exhibit space is tight. If you have something, take a photo of it and email it to museum@VISITFLORIDA.org with a description by the end of the month. Include your contact information and if selected, Visit Florida will contact you about shipping your souvenir to the exhibit. Items will be returned at the end of September 2011. Have fun digging through those trunks looking for treasures!
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127 E. Charlotte Street Punta Gorda, Fl 33950
941.286.7054
C Ca an n b be e ff o ou un nd d E Ev ve e rr y y S Sa a tt u u rr d da ay y M Mo o rr n n ii n ng g a a tt tt h he e P Pu un n tt a a G Go o rr d da a F Fa a rr m me e rr ss M Ma a rr k ke e tt o o rr C Co om me e tt o o o ou u rr S S tt o o rr e e 6 6 :: 3 30 0 A Am m -- 4 4 :: 3 30 0 P PM M
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Baileysbeefcountr y.com
Bailey’s Beef Country
Bailey’s
Why should you go to the butcher?
right in front of the Hi. My name is Gary shop. No strolling Bailey and I own the through some huge butcher shop in Port parking lot, hoping Charlotte. ( you find a place to BAILEYS BEEF park. We are carryCOUNTRY.) I would ing more and more like to give you of the items you some reasons that need to finish your maybe you havent thought about for going to your local butcher shop versus your grocery meal with, such as vegetables, store. potatos, or you Take a good look in your freezer may need milk and see how much money you and eggs. we have in it. Is it just sitting there have that. Did you know you can even call wrapped and maybe even unrecogyour order in nizable, perhaps freezer burnt. and have it Those are your hard earned dollars ready and piled up in there. Im not a big waiting for believer of tying up your money in you. If your the freezer. Did you know when in punta you come in here you can purchase exactly what you need without gorda you can call and have your buying the extra 2 or 3 portions that order delivered to you at the farmwill get buried in your freezer. We ers market on Saturday or cut fresh everyday only cutting Sunday. Our staff is ready and willing to small amounts so we are always turning over our product. If you help you when you come in. We need 2 pork chops, well thats what have lots of recipe ideas and youll get. Imagine you can buy 2 hot dogs in stead of an 8 pack where the balance gets lost in that meat drawer in the frig. Did you know you could buy 6 chicken wings or less or perhaps a nice steak cut to your specifications, any size you might like. We have a lot o f suggestions regarding the c u s preperation of your dinner or just tomers figuring out what you might need that do for dinner. We are steady making j u s t ready to eat products for all you that. singles or for those that just dont They buy for 2 or even just for them- want to cook, or dont have the selves and only have to purchase time. One of my favorite reasons to just enough for there dinner. We come a n d s h o p with us is its great to m e e t n e w people and share ideas. The support of also wrap everything with freezer the small business guy is very paper and marked accordingly in welcomed from our perspective. case you are freezeing your 1 item. Thanks to all of you that have been The shop is very conveinant to in and shopped with us. Thank you, come in. We have plenty of parking Gary Bailey. Baileys Beef Country.
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Beef Country•Butcher Shop Open Monday – Saturday 10:00 – 5:30
Retail • Wholesale • Catering Fresh Amish Turkey Not to late to order Prime Rib Roast for Christmas Punta Gorda Down Town Farmers Market every Saturday 2320 Tamiami Trail Port Charlotte, Fl 33952 Just north of Midway Blvd.
Parrot Magazine readers mention this ad and receive FREE homemade sausage with purchase (your choice) All forms of payment including EBT
941-629-6965 • Fax 629-5478
January 2011
2
nd Annual
A Red
Parrot Event
Jan 8 & 9, 2011
Nashville Recording Artist
John Wayne Wilkinson Frisbee Dogs, Pirates, Vendors, Food & lots more!
5 Bands! tar
guest s
! on Cage
Special
GibsSat night only
Live Country all weekend!
DeSoto Park, NW Hwy 70, Arcadia (Next to the Peace River Campground)
Gates open Sat, Jan 8 at 10:00am
go to www.arcadiadays.com
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Saturday 1st- HAPPY NEW YEAR!! DooWop Denny – Saltwater Café ~ 7-10pm Jack Mosley – Benedettos ~ 8-Mid Michael Hirst – Fishermen’s Village ~ 5-9pm Sunday 2nd Gary & Kerri – Nav-A-Gator ~ 2-5pm Cindy Walsh – Ragged Ass Saloon ~ 2-5pm Sunny Jim – Nav-A-Gator ~ 2-5pm Monday 3rd Charlie K. – Woody’s Waterside ~ 6pm Tuesday 4th George McClain Carribean Cowboy – Englewoods on Dearborn ~ 6:30pm John Reno – Pineapples ~ 6:309:30pm Wednesday 5th The Yard Dogs – Bert’s Bar ~ 6:30pm Kenny Rose – Englewoods on Dearborn ~ 6:30pm Thursday 6th The Crashers Trio – Dean’s
Live Music Schedule
January South of the Border ~ 7:3011:30pm Jack Mosley – Pineapples ~ 6-9pm Reconnections Band – Fishermen’s Village ~ 6-8pm Friday 7th Charlie K. – Bubba’s Roadhouse ~ 8:30pm Bandana – Englewoods on Dearborn ~ 7-11pm Latitude – Farlows on the Water ~ 6:30-10:30pm “Patchouli” – Fishermen’s Village ~ 5-9pm Saturday 8th DooWop Denny – Saltwater Café ~ 7-10pm The Yard Dogs – Stump Pass Grille ~ 3pm
Gotta Love It – Englewoods on Dearborn ~ 7-11pm Jack Mosley – Benedettos ~ 8-Mid John Reno – Ice House Pub ~
7-10pm Storm Surge – Yvettes Sports Bar/Venice ~ 8-Mid Carol & Johnnie – Fishermen’s Village ~ 5-9pm Brown Sugar – Danny’s Deep Creek Pub ~ 8pm Sunday 9th Jim Morris – Nav-A-Gator ~ 2-5pm Monday 10th Charlie K. – Woody’s Waterside
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January 2011
~ 6pm “Roy Orbison” by Mike T – Visani’s Comedy Theater ~ 7:30pm Four Leaf Strummers Banjo Group – Fishermen’s Village ~ 11:30-1pm Tuesday 11th John Reno – Coral Rock ~ 5:30pm George McClain Carribean Cowboy – Englewoods on Dearborn ~ 6:30pm John Reno – Pineapples ~ 6:309:30pm Motown Tribute Show – Visani’s Comedy Theater ~ 7:30pm Wednesday 12th Rich & Rich Coastal Jamz – Englewoods on Dearborn ~ 6:30pm John Reno – Farlows on the Water ~ 6-9pm Thursday 13th The Crashers Trio – Dean’s South of the Border ~ 7:3011:30pm Jack Mosley – Pineapples ~ 6-9pm Friday 14th The Yard Dogs – Old Fish House Marina ~ 6pm Tuk’r Hill – Englewoods on Dearborn ~ 7-11pm Storm Surge – Stump Pass Grille ~ 7-10pm “Coconut Radio” – Fishermen’s Village ~ 5-9pm Saturday 15th DooWop Denny – Saltwater Café ~ 7-10pm The Yard Dogs – Miceli’s ~ 6:30pm High Tide – Englewoods on Dearborn ~ 7-11pm
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Storm Surge – Neighbors Rest./ Englewood ~ 8-Mid “Coconut Radio” – Fishermen’s Village ~ 5-9pm Sunday 16th Sunny Jim – Nav-A-Gator ~ 2-5pm Monday 17th Charlie K. – Woody’s Waterside ~ 6pm Elvis Tribute with Dwight Icenhower – Visani’s Comedy Theater ~ 7:30pm Tuesday 18th George McClain Carribean Cowboy – Englewoods on Dearborn ~ 6:30pm John Reno – Pineapples ~ 6:309:30pm Latitude – Fishermen’s Village ~ 6-8:30pm Elvis Tribute with Dwight Icenhower – Visani’s Comedy Theater ~ 7:30pm Wednesday 19th The Yard Dogs – Bert’s Bar ~ 6:30pm Kenny Rose – Englewoods on Dearborn ~ 6:30-10pm Thursday 20th Jim Morris – Nav-A-Gator ~ 6-9pm The Crashers Trio – Dean’s South of the Border ~ 7:3011:30pm Jack Mosley – Pineapples ~ 6-9pm Latitude – Farlows on the Water ~ 6-9pm Friday 21st Charlie K. – Bubba’s Roadhouse ~ 8:30pm Coastal Jamz – Englewoods on Dearborn ~ 7-11pm “Magen & Mike” – Fishermen’s
Captian Kirk’s Peace River Boat Tours Wilderness River Tours Eco Tours - Schools/Groups Gators!...Manatees! Canoe & Kayak Rentals Cottage Rentals The Oldest Riverfront Restaurant on the Peace River!
Live Music Schedule
January Village ~ 5-9pm Saturday 22nd The Yard Dogs – Woody’s Waterside ~ 2pm Storm Surge – Englewoods on Dearborn ~ 7-11pm Jack Mosley – Benedettos ~ 8-Mid Paul Cottrell – Fishermen’s Village ~ 5-9pm Sunday 23rd
Cowboy – Englewoods on Dearborn ~ 6:30pm John Reno – Pineapples ~ 6:309:30pm Maurice LoMonoco – Visani’s Comedy Theater ~ 7:30pm Wednesday 26th Finger Mullets – Englewoods on Dearborn ~ 6:30-10pm Thursday 27th John Reno – Nav-A-Gator ~ 6-9pm The Crashers Trio – Dean’s South of the Border ~ 7:3011:30pm Jack Mosley – Pineapples ~ 6-9pm Friday 28th Charlie K. – Moose-Pine Island ~ 6:30pm John Reno – Woody’s Waterside
~ 7-10pm “The Top Hats” – Fishermen’s Village ~ 5-9pm Saturday 29th DooWop Denny – Saltwater Café ~ 7-10pm Tuk’r Hill – Englewoods on Dearborn ~ 7-11pm
Storm Surge – Honoluana/Venice ~ 7:30-11:30pm Casey Weston – Fishermen’s Village ~ 5-9pm Sunday 30th Jim Morris – Nav-A-Gator ~ 2-5pm Monday 31st Charlie K. – Woody’s Waterside
Gary & Kerri – Nav-A-Gator ~ 2-5pm Storm Surge – Snook Haven ~ 1-5pm Monday 24th Charlie K. – Woody’s Waterside ~ 6pm Four Leaf Strummers Banjo Group – Fishermen’s Village ~ 11:30-1pm Tuesday 25th George McClain Carribean
$2.00
$2.00
www.nav-a-gator.com BY CAR: KINGS HWY (OUT OF PORT CHARLOTTE) PAST I-75 (EXIT 170) KEEP GOING EAST 3 MILES. ON THE RIGHT IS A BIG SIGN THAT LOOKS LIKE A FISH, TURN RIGHT AND WHERE THE ROAD ENDS THE ADVENTURE BEGINS!
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January 2011
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While listening to this month’s Feature Artist, I drifted away in my Magic Chair and found myself reminiscing of growing up in the Tampa Bay area during the 80’s listening to Jimmy Buffett’s latest hit on the radio. Fun, Fresh, New was what I felt back then, the warm tropical sounds just inviting me to forget about it all and hit the beach…
Featured Band
Since then the Godfather of Trop Rock has not only created a new genre of music, but also popularized the Gulf of Mexico’s laid back coastal lifestyle to millions around the world. From Key West to Galveston, stories of bare foot, beaches and sippin’ Margaritas while sailing on the waterways are mixed with a Caribbean /country beat can’t help but to get you on your feet. No matter who you are or where you’re at, it is the perfect antidote for what ails you… As the man says, it’s 5 O’clock Somewhere!
John Reno
Born in New Orleans, and growing up in Fairhope, Alabama, John Reno Veillon, found out early on that he had not only a passion for music, but the tropical rockin’ lifestyle that was emerging all along the Gulf Coast back in the 80’s too. John tried to fight the calling, obtaining an accounting degree from Loyola University and taking a job in Boston as an accountant. But that didn’t last long… One day John never returned to work after lunch after buying a guitar… By the end of the week, John Reno Trop Rocker was born.
By Jack Gray
retired young salt, is the tuba player. (Yes, the band does have a tuba!). Kurt Schneider, a semiretired architect, plays harmonica and percussion, and Chip Collins, hits the bongo, conga, drums and percussion. John Reno and the HalfFast Creekers have a diversified song list. In addition to performing the songs written by John, the band’s repertoire has been described as Hoagy Carmichael meets Toby Keith in Margaretville. Magic Chair is John’s fourth CD. Magic Chair contains ten
Within a short time, John Reno was playing at the local clubs and at colleges in the Providence/ Boston area. Being a Louisiana boy, and longing for “short-pant” weather, John returned to the Gulf coast area, and settled in Fairhope, Alabama. Fairhope is the perfect town in the perfect location. Located on the Eastern Shore of Mobile Bay and only two and one half hours from New Orleans, John is at home! John’s Band, the Half-Fast Creekers, consist of a unique combination of instruments and personalities. Dennis Gray, a
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tracks that flow nicely from one song to another and demonstrates the magic tone of John’s voice. Each song tells its own story. One song, Heartaches and Hangovers, was cowritten by football legend, Kenny “Snake” Stabler. The title track, Magic Chair, puts you right there. This is a song that everyone who listens to it will identify with. Always having a sense of humor, John has included a cover of a song he considers a classic, I Lobster but Never Flounder. To showcase his sense of style, Magic Chair also features an instrumental piece, Mortise and Tenon, as well as a haunting rendition of Drunken Sailor. John spent ten years touring colleges and universities performing a Caribbean inspired show called “Pirates, Parrots and Margaritas.” This show featured a combination of Jimmy Buffett’s greatest hits along with island Caribbean classics. During this time, John was nominated by Campus Activities Today Magazine as; “Best Solo Performer”, “Best Unsigned Artist”, and “One of America’s Hottest Acts”! In addition to the island music, John also performs songs that show his “other side.” These songs are a masterful blend of musical satire and humor and songs that are just plan funny. These are songs that poke fun at the human condition and highlight John’s personality. For more about John Reno, and listen to some of his other works including; John Reno and The Half-Fast Creekers, A Bona Fide Social Club, John Reno – Calypso Joe and John Reno, Total Renovation, and a single on the Trop-Rock compilation called Thongs in the Key of Life, online at www. JohnReno.com. You can also purchase John’s CD’s on CDBABY.
January 2011
The Parrot
Weekly Specials
One of Sarasota’s best restaurants - fine dining in Florida Bacon Wrapped BBQ Shrimp!
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Monday-Happy Hour Al Day! Lobster Feast! Whole Maine Lobster just $16.99! Served with homeade Swiss bread, Corn on the Cob and Red Skin Potato Tuesday- STEAM POT PARTY!! x $16.99; for two Petite $12.99,Regular $18.99 $26.99! What's in a Steam Pot? Oysters, Mussels, Shrimp, Snow Crab Cluster, Corn on The Cob, Red Skin Potato. Wednesday- CRAB SPECIALS! Snow Crab 1 Lb. $14.99, 1 1/2 Lb. $ 16.99, with Prime Rib just $26.99! Ladies’ Night 6:00 PM-One Free UV Martini for every Lady! Live Music! Thursday- 12 oz. Prime Rib $16.99 - with Beer Shrimp $19.99 Friday- TGIF PARTY!! Six Fresh Fish, Live Music starting at 7 PM Great food & Drink Specials!! Saturday- Live Music! Starting at7:30 PM Put Your Dancing shoes on!! Get ready to ROCK & ROLL!! Sunday-Sunday Brunch 11:30 am-2:30 p.m. Live Music & FREE Mimosa! All day Gourmet Pizza are ONE DOLLAR OFF on any Pizzas and TWO DOLLARS OFF on any whole Pizzas!
Photographs Courtesy Saltwater Cafe
Amazingly even with this the prices still allow everyone to enjoy Chef Rolfs cuisine. There are daily lunch specials including a choice of 5 express lunches for only $5.99. Monday is lobster day, with live Main lobster for $16.99. Tuesday has the steam pot special for only $12.99. Wednesday is crab day with a pound of snow crab for $14.99. On Thursday locals enjoy a whole pound of prime rib for only $16.99. One of the new additions to the menu is a sirloin and shrimp combo for $16.99 or a entire 3 course meal for 2 people including a bottle of wine is only $39.99. It is truly amazing. With all this it is no wonder the Saltwater Cafe is thriving.
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The Parrot
January 2011
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Parrot Libs December The Parrot had a long weekend and can’t think straight, can you help him finish these jokes? You can always ask your friends for help……. New Years Eve around the world AUSTRALIA. Each major city around Australia holds New Years Eve celebrations, usually accompanied by a _____________display amongst (Pluarl Noun) other events. Perth's fireworks are let off from barges along the Swan River, whilst _______people (Number) annually gather at sites around the Brisbane River in the city to watch the _______display. (Plural Noun) CANADA. In Canada, _________ usually gatheand (Animal) celebrate New Year's Eve together. Often, several will _____________ (Plural Animal)
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come together and celebrate in a large party. Parties usually involve ___________and light shows. ( Plural Noun) FRANCE. The French New Year's Eve is usually celebrated with a feast called ______de ______. (Noun) (Noun) This feast customarily includes special dishes like food and drinks like______. (Liquid) UNITED STATES. In the United States, New Year’s Eve is a major social holiday. In the past 100 years,______ (Noun) _______________on top of One Times Square in (verb ending in ing) New York City, is a major component of the New Year celebration.
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January 2011
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“Your”Chamber By John Wright
“Your” Chamber of Commerce in Punta Gorda
Happy New Year!
Welcome to a new and exciting year here in Punta Gorda. As we turn the corner on the calendar, the Punta Gorda Chamber of Commerce is already well underway with preparations for two huge events in our community that we hope will bring hoards of new visitors to our area. The first is our annual Wine and Jazz Festival – now in its sixth year. This festival will take place on Saturday February 19th at Laishley Park, Punta Gorda and included in your one
ticket price are: the incredible musicality of Mr. David Benoit, Mindi Abair as support and the talents of the Acorn Ranch 2011 All-Stars, who shall get the proceedings underway. If you visit our website, you’ll get the complete lowdown on all three sets of performers and realize the incredible talent being presented on our stage this year. Also included in your ticket price will be wine samplings from around the world and food samplings from local restaurants. Our friends at Stella Artois will also be there to help the festivities flow! All guests will receive a welcome souvenir bag containing your souvenir wine tasting glass and beer goblet. The park opens at 12.30pm with the first act going “live’ at 1pm. For your own comfort, bring
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your lawn chairs and relax a while. No coolers or pets are allowed in the park for this event. (We might make an exception for a parrot though!) Tickets are available from the online payment center at www. puntagordachamber.com All tickets are mailed out on the next business day, or can be held at Will Call for the day of the performances. A $10 per ticket discount is offered for all tickets purchased by 1.31.11. Don’t miss out on the best event of the “Season”.
fellow students. Dragon boating is a team sport, 20 people paddle the 40’ long dragon boat 400 meters (in approximately 2 ½ minutes!) to a fast and furious finish. It is fun and rewarding. Included in your entry fee are two practices, each of one hour length in the week before the race. Then on Saturday you are ready to compete. In addition to competing in a fun sporting event, you are aiding a charity right here in our Punta Gorda Community. Together with We are also in the final stages the Punta Gorda Chamber of of putting together a new Commerce, the Charlotte Harbor Festival for our city, that will truly be a exciting spectator and Paddlers, a local dragon boat club, plan to make this an annual participant treat. On Saturday rd April 23 we present our first event showcasing Punta Gorda’s annual Dragonboat Festival – waterfront and the introduction War on the Peace! - at Laishley of a water sport where co-ed Park Punta Gorda. Dragon teams of all ages can participate. Boats are a 20-person craft, which need to be paddled down On January 14th, we also invite a 400 meter course in a series of heats. The festival combines you to a special business-focused teams that are both professional program called How to Work and amateur and provides each with Your City. During this team a great opportunity to raise two-hour session, presented at money for their favorite charity. City Hall, we get to meet all Each team will be provided with department heads and learn a “boat” and training, so all you how each interact with us as have to do is get a group of 20 keen community-minded folks individual businesses. This is a together and register at www. great chance to meet and greet puntagordachamber.com and learn how we can all work better together. To register, All you need to participate are simply call the Chamber Office 20 coworkers, good friends or on 941 639 3720. Our Winter Craft Fair is scheduled for January 15th and 16th from 10am-5pm both days. Artisans from around the country will converge on Punta Gorda
January 2011
with stalls the length of Sullivan Street in downtown Punta Gorda. For vendor opportunity information, call us on 941 639 3720. Starting on January 17th for a whole week, the Punta Gorda Chamber, along with the Downtown Merchants’ Association will be participating in the City’s first Book Fair. Lots of cool activities are planned so call us for further details. For a full listing of events as well as to search for our approved Chamber members’ details, please visit www. puntagordachamber.com The events and calendar link is a great page, but also visit the Friday Facts link – this is a
weekly e-news publication which you can sign up for FREE, so that the latest and most up-to-date information on everything that is going on in both the City and the Chamber can be emailed to you every week. You’ll never be out of the loop again! Wishing you all a very Happy and Prosperous 20211! Let’s make it a good one together.
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Twisted Humor On New Year’s Eve, Marilyn stood up in the local pub and said that it was time to get ready. At the stroke of midnight, she wanted every husband to be standing next to the one person who made his life worth living. Well, it was kind of embarrassing. As the clock struck - the bartender was almost crushed to death. New Year’s Resolutions by Fido 1. I will not bark each time I see or hear a dog on TV. 2. I will not steal underwear belonging to my mistress and then dance all over the back yard with it. 3. I will not chew red crayons or pens, because my master will think that I am haemorrhaging. 4. I will not roll my toys behind the fridge. 5. I must shake the rainwater out of my coat BEFORE I enter the house. We went to breakfast at a restaurant where the ‘seniors’ special’ was two eggs, bacon, hash browns and toast for $2.99. ‘Sounds good,’ my wife said. ‘But I don’t want the eggs.’ ‘Then, I’ll have to charge you $3.49 because you’re ordering a la carte,’ the waitress warned her. ‘You mean I’d have to pay for not taking the eggs?’ my wife asked incredulously. ‘YES!’ stated the waitress. ‘I’ll take the special then,’ my wife said.. ‘How do you want your eggs?’ the waitress asked. ‘Raw and in the shell,’ my wife replied. She took the two eggs home and baked a cake..
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How to wash a toilet 1. Put both lids of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl. 2. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom. 3. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close the lid. You may need to stand on the lid. 4. The cat will self agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises that come from the toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this. 5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a ‘powerwash’ and rinse’. 6. Have someone open the front door of your home. Be sure that there are no people between the bathroom and the front door. 7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift the lid. 8. The cat will rocket out of the toilet,streak through the bathroom, and run outside where he will dry himself off. 9. Both the commode and the cat will be sparkling clean.
Drive By Shooting
January 2011
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BOCA GRANDE Boca Grande Resort The Island House Inn Thai Bistro & Sushi Bar 5800 Gasparilla Road (941) 964-4443 Boca Grille & Tiki 471 Park Ave (941) 964-0040 Dolphin Cove Café 421 Park Avenue (941) 964-0109 South Beach Bar & Grille 777 Gulf Blvd (941) 964-0765 CAPE CORAL Bubba’s Roadhouse & Saloon 2121 SW Pine Island Rd. (239) 282-5520 The Twisted Conch 837 SE 47th Ter. (239) 542-6622 ENGLEWOOD Bobarino’s Pizza 20 Magnolia Ave. (941) 473-0000 Café de la Bay 470 W. Dearborn St.
(941) 460-8362 Café 776 138 N. Indiana Ave. (SR-776) (941) 475-0819 Englewoods on Dearborn 362 W. Dearborn St. (941) 475-7501 Farlows on the Water 2080 S. McCall Rd. (941) 474-5343 Food is Love 41 N. Indiana Ave. Breakfast & Lunch (941) 473-9439 Hungry Howie’s Pizza & Subs 1720 McCall Rd. Cornerstone Plaza (941) 475-8384 J.B.’s Conch Café 3384 S. McCall Rd. (941) 475-1747 Lock N Key Restaurant&Pub 2045 N. Beach Rd. (941) 474-1517 Mookey’s Bar & Grill 4821 Placida Rd. (941) 697-0349 Stump Pass Grille 260 Maryland Ave.
Photo Caption Contest Send us your ideas for a funny caption for this photo and we will print the winner along with the winners name in our next issue. E-mail us at publisher@swflparrot.com or mail entries to The Parrot, 3280-55 Tamiami Trail Suite 165 Port Charlott, Florida 33952
Last Month Look into my eyes...... You are gettting very sleepy........ Sent in by George J.
(941) 697-0859 Waterfront Dining Vino Loco Wine & Tapas Bar 420 W. Dearborn St. (941) 473-8466 White Elephant Pub 1855 Gulf Blvd. (941) 475-6801 FT MYERS Jimmy B’s Roof Top Bar 1130 Estero Blvd. (239) 463-3657 LJ’s Lounge 16500 S.R. 31 (239) 694-4287 Pinchers Crab Shack 6890 Estero Blvd. Ft. Myers Beach (239) 463-2909 Viper Club 16520 S. Tamiami Trail (239) 437-2177 MATLACHA Bert’s Bar & Grill 4271 Pine Island Rd. (239) 282-3232 Fish House Marina / Fresh Seafood Market & Take-Out Restaurant 4530 Pine Island Rd. (239) 282-9588 Miceli’s Italian Restaurant 3930 Pine Island Rd. NW (239) 282-8233 Moretti Seafood Restaurant 4200 Pine Island Rd. (239)282-5552 Ragged Ass Saloon 3421 Stringfellow Rd. (239) 282-1131 Woody’s Waterside 3051 Stringfellow Rd. St James City, Fl 33956 (239) 283-5555 NOKOMIS Irene’s Pub 918 Tamiami Trl S (941) 485-6902 Saltwater Café Oyster Bar & Seafood Restaurant 1071 N. Tamiami Trail (941) 488-3775
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Bar & Restaurant Listings
January 2011
NORTH PORT Applebee’s 17500 Tamiami Trl. (941) 423-1504 Brewski’s 12500 S. Tamiami Trail (941) 423-BREW Brickhouse Gourmet Pizza 1221 Sumter Blvd. Now serving breakfast (941) 423-3950 Buffalo Wild Wings Grill & Bar U.S. 41 Between S.Sumter & S.Salford 4301 Aidan Lane (941) 429-8078 Little Caesars 1073 N.Toledo Blade Blvd. (941) 429-5554 Michelangelo Pizzeria & Restaurant 1091 S.Toledo Blade Blvd. Shoppes at Price Crossing (Publix) (941) 426-0044 PLACIDA Johnny Leverock’s Seafood House 7092 Placida Rd. (941) 698-6900 Waterside Grill – Gasparilla Marina 15001 Gasparilla Rd. (941) 697-2280 PORT CHARLOTTE Alli-Gators Port Charlotte Town Center 1441 Tamiami Trail (941) 624-0067 Applebee’s 19010 Murdock Circle (941) 766-0666 Banditos 5665 S.R.776 (941) 697-4221 Boomers 2360 Tamiami Trail (941) 743-4140 Chubbyz 2 Tavern 4109 Tamiami Trail (941) 613-0002 Coyote’s 4300 Kings Hwy #412
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River City Grill 1930 Hillview St. 131 West Marion Ave. (941) 366-5555 (941)639-9080 Live Music 7 days a week The Celtic Ray Irish Pub Gilligan’s Island Bar 145 E. Marion Ave. 5253 Ocean Blvd Siesta Key (941) 505-5556 (941) 346-8122 Village Fish Market & Gecko’s Grill & Pub Restaurant 4870 S. Tamiami Trail PUNTA GORDA 1200 W. Retta Esplanade (941) 923-8896 Benedetto’s Steakhouse & Fishermen’s Village Hooters Martini Bar “New England & Florida 20 Gulf Gate Mall 300 Retta Esplanade Seafood Specialties” (941) 923-4666 (941) 639-9695 (941) 639-7959 Linksters Tap Room Biehl’s Slip-Not Lounge Village Oyster Bar 8764 S. Tamiami Trail 1601 Tamiami Trail 1200 W. Retta Esplanade (941) 966-9141 (941) 639-7677 Fishermen’s Village Siesta Key Oyster Bar Tapas One at Bin (941) 637-1212 (SKOB) 258 W. Marion Ave. “Beautiful Waterfront View” 5238 Ocean Blvd. (941) 916-9581 Wood Street Grill (941) 346-5443 Burnt Store Grille 221 Wood St. Sushi Raw Bar & Grille Corner of US 41 & Burnt Store (941) 575-1188 4854 S. Tamiami Trail Rd. Lunch, Pizza, Subs, Catering (941) 924-0393 3941 Tamiami Trail The Italian Grill (941) 575-2757 SARASOTA 8620 S. Tamiami Trail Captain’s Table Applebee’s (941) 966-6565 1200 Retta Esplanade 1991 Main St. (941) 637-1177 (941) 955-7234 VENICE Fishermen’s Village 5490 Clark Rd. Applebee’s Dean’s South of the Border (941) 925-2595 4329 S.Tamiami Trail 130 Tamiami Trail 5550 Fruitville Rd. (941) 497-7740 (941) 575-6100 (941) 379-2260 Bogey’s Restaurant & New outside Patio Broken Egg Sports Bar Harpoon Harry’s 140 Avenida Messina 652 E. Venice Ave. 1200 Retta Esplanade Siesta Key (941) 488-9156 (941) 637-1177 (941) 346-2750 Sharky’s on the Pier Fishermen’s Village Open Daily from 7:30-2:30pm 1600 Harbor Drive South Ice House Pub Buffalo Wild Wings Grill & (941) 488-1456 408 Tamiami Trail Bar Snook Haven (941) 575-0866 4067 Clark Rd. 500 E. Venice Ave. Jack’s Restaurant (941) 922-5554 (941) 485-7221 201 W. Marion Ave. Cheeburger Cheeburger Venice Sports Bar & (941) 637-8800 4944 S. Tamiami Trail Billiards La Piazza (941) 921-5503 2107 Tamiami Trl S Towles Plaza Suite 216 Daiquiri Deck (941) 497-2048 2705 Tamiami Trail 5254 Ocean Blvd. Wally’s Pour House Bar & (941) 639-0006 Siesta Key Grill Loft Bar (941) 349-8697 1730 S. Tamiami Trail 502 King Street Five O’ Clock Club (941) 493-0677 (941) 505-5678 LuLu at The Wyvern Hotel Bring in this 101 E. Retta Esplanade months Parrot (941) 639-7700 Ad and receive $25.00 off Mooseheads Cigar & Spirits & on a full day 318 Tamiami Trail Boat Rental! (941) 505-0404 Phil’s 41 1975 Tamiami Trail (941) 575-7575 Waterside Grill Portofino-Waterfront Dining 6:30 a.m.—11:00 p.m. 23247 Bayshore Rd Breakfast, Lunch & Dinner (941) 743-2800 Daily Specials, Happy Hour Porto Bello at Latitudes Live Entertainment Exp: 12/31/2010 3200 Matecumbe Key Rd Burnt Store Marina 15001 Gasparilla Road 941-697-2280/941-697-0724 Red Marker 20 on the ICW Placida, FL www.gasparillamarina.com (941) 639-3650
Bar & Restaurant Listings (941) 629-2114 Bar & Restaurant Gatorz Bar & Grill 3816 Tamiami Trail (941) 625-5000 Hooters 1360 Tamiami Trail (941) 625-0200 Joe Cracker Sportsgrille&Tiki 1020 El Jobean Road (941) 258-3444 JD’s Bistro 1951 Tamiami Trail (941) 255-0994 Next to Days Inn Moe’s Southwest Grill 1804 Tamiami Trail (941) 625-5610 Morgan’s Café 4300 Kings Hwy School House Square (941) 625-3400 “Open for Breakfast & Lunch” Nav-A-Gator Grill 9700 SW Riverview Circle (941) 627-FISH Nemo’s Sports Café 3192 Harbor Blvd. (941) 625-4794 Portside Tavern 3636 Tamiami Trail (941) 629-3055 Sports City 4560 Tamiami Trail (877) TIKI BAR Tijuana Flats Burrito Company 1100 El Jobean Rd. (S.R. 776) (941) 766-8226 Visani’s Comedy Dinner Theater 2400 Kings Hwy. (941) 629-9191 Whiskey Creek Wood Fire Grille 2746 Tamiami Trail (941) 766-0045 Willie’s Cocktails 4095 Tamiami Trail (941) 624-2245 Ziggy’s Lounge 1825 Tamiami Trail (941) 255-1080
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Waterside Grill
January 2011
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Invented in ancient China in the 12th century to scare away evil What is a seven-letter word using only the letters 'TERPISH'? The feline genus which contains lions, tigers, leopards and jaguars January birthstone What are some four letter words that begin with the letter O? A small cake designed to serve one person. Hangover cure where's the beef? The Gulf Coast's Favorite Source for Entertainment A Place, Tropical ______
January 2011
What word has 5 consecutive consonants not using a y? Local Marina What starts with a b and ends with s and is 10 letters long? Sarasota Bay Parrot Head Club Boca Grande Pass, _________ capitol of the world. Drive By _________ Large, fully aquatic, mostly herbivorous marine mammals. What 5 letter word sounds exactly the same if you take away 4 "_____________only goes where smiles have been" January is named after________, the god of the doorway Where the laughs don't stop. January Flower
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Why.... 1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks? 2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand? 3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know? 4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words? 5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a “whack”? 6. Why does “slow down” and “slowup” mean the same thing?
Sponseller & Phil & Claudia Benz – thank you for all of the many extra hours you have put into the club. Our SPBHC – last Happy Out with the old, in with Hour of the year was at The the new- year that is! Spanish Point Marina’s new Happy New Year every Tiki bar, thank goodness for one! We at the SBPHC heaters, as it did closed out the year in get a bit chilly. fine style. Our Christmas We are looking In the Caribbean party forward to another was a great success, fun
7. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? 8. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right? 9. Why is bra singular and panties plural? 10. Why are they called “ stands” when they are made for sitting? 11. Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway ? 12.. Doesn’t “expecting the unexpected” make the unexpected expected? 13.. Why are a “wise man” and a “wise guy” opposites? 14. Why do “overlook” and “oversee” mean opposite things? 15. Why is “phonics” not spelled the way it sounds?
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Sunny Jim got the crowd singing & dancing, old friends and new friends shared some Christmas cheer, but best of all, we collected over 25 bikes and a U-Haul full of toys for “toys for tots”. Congratulations go out to our 3 recipients of the Parrot Head recognition award for outstanding service to the club. This year’s winners were: Lori Carpenter, Wayne and Sharen
filled year. I’m sure you will find us tail gating at the Polo Grounds in Lakewood Ranch on Sunday afternoons, cleaning up the beaches on Edwards Island, having Happy Hours the second Friday night of each month, bowling,
January 2011
golfing and even playing a round of night golf, Raft up beach parties in the summer, Sunset Socials on Siesta Beach start in April, our 15th Birthday Bash will be held at Bentley’s in June, cruising on La Barge in July, monthly socials are the last Thursday of every month at the
courtyard at Saramana Eagles off of Beneva Rd. I’m guessing you can count on a Jimmy Buffet concert or two, with at least one road trip – destination to be determined! There will be a few surprises thrown in to mix it up a bit. Please join us along our journey of making this earth a better place to live in while having a lot of fun along the way! Check us out on our website: www.sbphc. com. Better yet come out and join us we’d love to meet you! Till next month, don’t forget – We’re growing older but not up… Sherry Swartz
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Jan. 1 - Cruizin’ on Dearborn Cars & Oldies 5 - 8 p.m. Jan. 5 -23 - “Catch Me If You Can” at the Lemon Bay Play House Jan. 8 - Saturday Nite Live 6 - 9 p.m. Dining & Entertainment & Shopping!
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Hey Tampa Bay Parrotheads, what tiiiiiiiime is it? It’s time to make some resolutions, so let’s resolve to help make TBPH even better in 2011. Volunteer, support our meetings by attending and bringing a new member with you, talk to the board members about chairing a committee…there are many way to help. You just have to get involved. At the meeting on 12/1 we had
January 2011
There was a clean up on Davis Islands on Nov 20th and a pretty big group showed up to help (pretend the group picture is attached…there really were a lot of people there). The after party was held at Elmer’s and I heard a good time was had by all. Yours truly had to work that day L Our holiday party on Saturday, December 11th was a raging good time. We had lots of good food and cheer, and music from one of my faves. Patrick Foy and the Conch Critters kept everyone dancing for hours. We had lots and lots of toy donations for the kiddies along with tables full of
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Tampa Bay Parrot Heads in Paradise Club Written by Charlotte Lanier aka Charlie Rose food and other essentials for the two-legged and four-legged critters in need. Santa was there and all the naughty boys and girls sat on his lap for some christmas goodies. Other than our regular meetings there’s not a whole lot going on in January, but if it’s anywhere near as cold as last year I think we’ll all be happy staying inside just the same. Come
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February, however. I see bowling on the itinerary and you know what that means!! Parrothead night at the Lanes! The calendar doesn’t say where yet, but rest assured a good time will be had by all no matter where we bowl. Ok, I think that’s it for now. I hope everyone is able to keep warm in the coming month(s). In the
meantime you need to join us at our next Parrothead meeting. You can find us at Whiskey Joe’s (on the Tampa causeway next to the public parking for Ben T. Davis beach) on the 1st and 3rd Wednesdays of the month. Check out our website at www.finsup. com for more details about the club or any of our upcoming events (click on the “Calendar” banner and go to the month in which you need info). And remember, “Wrinkles only go where the smiles have been.” Roving photographer at the holiday party was Chrissy Risher
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Big Events in Tampa Bay
If there’s one thing Tampa Bay does well, it’s finding a reason for a festival or party. And as we say goodbye to 2010 and welcome in a bright new year, there are a ton of great events to get out and enjoy. So, with a great attempt to avoid clichés and throwing out words of wisdom, let’s get to it! We’ll start this off with one of my favorite events in the history of events. It’s been around longer than baseball and it entertains children of all ages. That’s right, I’m talking about Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus and this year’s show will blow you away! Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey® Presents Fully ChargedSM , the all-new, 141st electrifying edition of The Greatest Show On Earth®! Ringling Bros.® powers up audiences with acts from all over the globe featuring breathtaking dare-devilry, superhuman stunts and never-seen-before performances! You’ll see the world-famous Ringling Bros.
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clowns, The Human Fuse who rockets across the circus skies, and of course the amazing animals that spark the audience’s awe and wonder. It hits the St. Pete Times Forum (for its World debut) from Jan. 5-9, so get your tickets now! Next we’ll delve in to the heart and soul of ethnic diversity in Tampa Bay with the Tampa Bay Black Heritage Festival. From Jan. 13-22, the nine-day
who will be speaking as part of the USF Speaker’s Series. And for all of the foodies out there, make your plans to head over to the Museum of Science and Industry from Jan. 15-17 for the Festival of Chocolate! The Festival of Chocolate is Florida’s only all chocolate-themed festival, and when you’re there you’ll enjoy chocolate tastings, shopping and educational exhibits. And there’s an educational component (of course – it’s a museum after all)! The Festival introduces attendees to the science, history, fun and romance of chocolate through local chocolatiers, various displays, hands-on experiences and interactive competitions. Here’s the best part - entrance into The Festival
celebration will hold events all over the Tampa Bay area. But the Street Festival, held at Al Lopez Park, is TBBHF’s signature event, showcasing unforgettable music by local and national recording artists, a drum line exhibition, delicious cuisine, and crafts and artisans from the region and around the world demonstrating and selling their work. And there’s more, including multiple speeches and performances by local and national personalities and artists, such as Danny Glover
complementary with a MOSI admission. Plus, each adult advance purchase ticket will receive three dollars in chocolate coins to spend. If you want more info, just head to http://tampa. festivalofchocolate.com. I would be completely remiss if I didn’t mention the event that Tampa Bay is famous for. We’ve had pirates invading our shores for over a century, and 2011 is no different. On Jan. 29, the Southwest Airlines Gasparilla Pirate Fest blasts off as 1,000 rowdy pirates sail into downtown
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Tampa - with cannons booming and flags flying - on a fully rigged pirate ship flanked by hundreds of pleasure crafts. Here’s where it gets really fun! The pirates then invade the city displaying their treasures in a colorful parade. The Gasparilla Pirate Fest activities include the invasion and parade, plus Pirate’s Chest Arts & Crafts show, the Gasparilla Midway, and local and national entertainment acts performing live on stages throughout downtown Tampa. And there’s something for the kids too with the Children’s Parade, which takes place on Jan. 22. This alcoholfree family event is held each year on the Saturday before the Gasparilla Pirate Fest, and takes place along beautiful Bayshore Boulevard.
But of course these aren’t the only great events happening around Tampa Bay to kick of 2011. The Tampa Bay area truly is one of the best places in the world to be, so get out there and explore, experience, play, run (without scissors), jump, skip and just plain have fun! Happy New Year everyone!
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Capricorn: (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) The new year will be good to you, oops sorry, that’s Libra. For you, wow, you don’t want to know. Your lucky day of the year is February 29th 2011. Aquarius: (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) Get rid of that crazy person in your life this year. Once you do that, life will be great! You will realize that people really do like you! Pisces: (Feb. 19-March 20) You need to do something about that temper of yours. Try a swim or get a fish tank (many people find it soothing to watch fish swim) or throw the fish in the pool and swim with them, anything! Just chill out!! Aries: (March 21-April 19) The Air-Head sign…Oooopps the Air sign. For the new year try to focus more, your tendency to float around without any direction gets a bit old. Especially when folks are waiting for you to return from Wal-Mart. You just went for a bottle of Ginkgo Biloba.
(Cont.) hangover. So don’t forget to take twice the aspirin. Cancer: (June 22-July 22) Big change is on it’s way for you my little crab. It will be what you make it, so be wise in your decisions. Leo: (July 23-Aug. 22) Mighty Leo, its always about you. That is because you are all alone, make someone else the center of your world and you will be pleasantly surprised. Virgo: (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) This year try to take down a notch, don’t be so picky. We all appreciate your attention to detail but there should be limits. You will find there is more to life then double and triple checking everything. Libra: (Sept. 23-Oct. 23) Everyone loves the lovely Libra, you will be in high demand. Be choosey with your attention and your flirtatious ways, it may be taken the wrong way. Scorpio: (Oct. 24-Nov. 21) You can never be too cautious, avoid making hasty decisions.
Taurus: (April. 20-May 20) – Sign of the Bull, but lately your more like a unicorn, straighten up Sagittarius: (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) and grow some! The rock star sign! 2011 is your year to shine! In the past it’s been Gemini: (May 21-June 21) – The a bit of a bumpy road, but that two for one sign! The new year is all in the past! Hold on tight, brings twice the drinking, twice it’s going to be one hell of a ride, the parties and twice the your golden! Happy New Year!!
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January 2011
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Trevor Silk – from Place in the Sun LLC with the Robin Hood statue at Nottingham
Castle, Nottingham England United Kingdom.
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